#ngl i am not feeling that good today !!
Text
In case you need a reminder!!
☆ Stretch your hands and wrists!!
♡ Relax your eyes (look away from your screens for a lil bit!!)
☆ Stand up to stretch your limbs and walk around for a minute!!
♡ Go grab a snack if you haven't eaten yet!!
☆ Take your meds if you haven't/forgot to!!
♡ And Please Drink Some Water!!!
#chat tag#ngl i was feeling real bad yesterday but after doing some of those things i went wow!!! i am slightly normal again!!!#and after remembering to stretch my wrists today finally i thought it would be good to make a reminder post for some of these things ^w^#things suck and this wont fix everything but it does help!!! hope everyone is doing alright and if not that yall will eventually!!
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
survived new employee orientation day 👍
#it honestly wasnt awful it was just soooo long and soooo much didnt apply to me#but anyways. what im treating as my real first day is tomorrow yayyyyy#im kinda surprised how not nervous for it i am if anything im pretty excited#the only thing im a bit apprehensive about is how anti social is my team gonna end up being 😭#the interviews i had with them did Not bode well on that front but we will see#0.txt#ngl the thing im most excited about is being part of such a huge university/medical network again without needing to be a student LOL#like idk. when i worked for companies it was very much you Work For the Company#but today honestly felt like being a student at an university again#now i just work for them lol#and theres a lot of shit going on that is completely unrelated to my job#maybe im being overly optimistic but the change feels really good right now#lets see if this will enable me to wrangle back a social life lads...
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...
#lizzy speaks#to those who are curious what prompted this: my friend and i are collaborating on a video essay together#we picked it back up a week and a half ago after it laid in limbo for a month or two#and we're currently in the phase of editing it together (scripting + recording the VO is done)#and MAN. my respect for people who work on scripted/informative content just shot up through the ROOF#most of my experience with editing comes from footage first and then edit down approach (rather than creating/gathering visuals to uplift-#a written script) and it's. well. they engage with very different skillsets i think#my friend who i am collaborating with is very amused at me because this is not her first rodeo. meanwhile me as a first-timer.#i am telling her about how i am losing my mind over my editing timeline having gaps of footage because i couldn't think of anything to put#for certain portions (or i just didnt feel like looking through preexisting footage on the internet and dl-ing it)#and she compared it to 'telling a kid whos going thru puberty that its normal' EKLHFGLHH#im ngl the way i have spent like maybe 10 hours today off and on looking up footage and fact checking the splat artbook is so. explodes#it makes sifting through an 11 hour batch of footage of me playing big run sound like a cakewalk in comparison LMAOO#anyway if you read this far thank you :D i hope that in 2024 i can continue to be humbled in trying new things#and i highly encourage others 2 do so too! try a new method of approaching something or do smthn slightly adjacent to what you do!#tis a good learning experience and also makes u very appreciative of the things that are out there methinks#im literally only editing an 11 minute segment or so idfk how people make those 1+ hr video essays LIKE HELLO??? ESP IF ITS LICENSED MEDIA#HOW DO U GET ALL THE FOOTAGE FOR THAT. U MUST BE REALLY HYPERFIXATED AND DEDICATED TO THAT. DAMN. anyway. have a good 2023 everyone!
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things I did today #41 March 11 2024
Found bag and (re)packed for upcoming trip (Sweden on Friday)
Painted a sign for concerts in Sweden
Drew some fanart
Practiced memorizing a song ("Bluza")
Went to support group meeting
Received a package
Cooked dinner
Washed dishes
Booked train ticket for May
#ngl it is only almost nine but I am exhausted#and looking at this list I can see why#it looks like a lot#and it feels like a bit#so my spoons are spend#good thing I could use the sleep given I'll wake up earlier tomorrow anyways :'D#tidt#things i did today#findingmicah
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Try not 2 cry challenge almost failed in therapy today ughhh. Why does tearing up while talking abt the shit that bothers u feel so defeating...
#.personal rambles#She was like wow ur demeanor is off today...#and its like yeah...yeah...n ofc shes like...if you keep having these symptoms we should look into meds and im like...good luck#Been told for yrs i need to be put on meds but unfortunately I very much live in a house with a parent who thinks any fkrm#if psychiatric drug is bad...the whole do it all natural!!! type of personality n its like i already have enough going on...yanno?#n then theres also. me worrying meds wont make me feel like myself anymore...cus im so used to being the way i am...#also Im kinda bummed bc i found out atsushi sakurai died ...like i enjoyed buck tick but im ngl he kinda inspired some of my ocs designs...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
zbxhdhdh
#i had a coffee for the first time in a WHILE like at least since sometime the beginning of the summer#i feel crazyyyyy sjbcfbdjdgudhdbejeh i feel like coffee hasn’t affected me like this before XD#or maybe i just had fucking schoolwork to channel the caffeine into and now i just have talking and body motion#so i’m talking to my brother which also ‘helps’ bc i’m just weird around him in general bc i’m just being annoying and being myself#but ESPECUALLY rn i feel so caffeinated akdbcjwjhdhdjd#it’s so weird LMAO#it’s worked tho like i had to get up hella early and sit thru 28446463727 speakers at this convention today#the wholeeeeeeeeeeeee day and after my coffee at the halfway mark#bro the second half i was like actually interested and kinda paying attention#to sm i don’t have that much interest in and am not rly gonna use in my life LOL#it also helped that the second half speakers wereeeee pretty good ngl#one guy was being rly funny and i was laughing w everyone else in the audience and my brother made fun of me for it lol#but also after it was done we were waiting. around and i was laughing at nothing so#the caffeine probably helped w that too lol#dndbdjdjhejsihdueje it’s so weird that i can feel the caffeine so much i feel like XD#bc last significant times i had coffee were during school stress timeeee#maybe this coffee was stronger too idk it was HELLA EXPENSIVE#so actually maybe lolll#AHHHH anyway LMAO i could scream just to like#get rid of energy or sm djfhgjhdhd too bad we are going to some persons place or sm idk#it’s all my like for my dads work stuff idk lmao#jeanne talks#i’m TALKING TOO MYCH LOLLL#like irl lmao#all to annoy my brother 🫡#he’s very engaged and interested in everything i’m saying and is providing such full conversation 🤩#also i’m probably also wired after sitting#i was also like i’m probably also kinda wired from sitting and listening to ppl for like hours but then my brother was like#yeah that rly energized me too#LOL kadbcrjejdhdh anyway 🤡
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk if i rlly am unable to feel intense hate for something or i conditioned myself into thinking that hating soemthing makes me even more of a bad person so i refuse to feel such things HMMM
#cw rant#ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ idle chit chat#IDK❕i was always known as that one really caring and generous big sister#and whenever i express that i am upset i always get told 'why are you being like that?' and idk . perhaps ive been too nice to people#ALSO WHEn I RANT ABT STUFF LIKE THIS IM NOT LIKE . SAD ABT IT .#i just genuinely wonder hawuhhebfil#but yeah i think the emotional invalidation that i grew up with fucked me up like that LMAO#ngl i dont rlly even feel VERY strongly abt anything???#i know that my posts here on tumblr r very like yk energetic and BAM BAM but when it comes to irl i just . dont hklwhjr#gosh i am the exact opposite of my online self its so weird#thinking back on it though my childhood rlly shaped me into who i am today in maybe not so very good ways huhu#my childhood was pretty good though . it could be way way worse but there were very miniscule things that rlly impacted the way i behave😭#like 4 example the expectations set on me as a child was ABSURDLY high .#and everybody always praised me and stuff and i was so goddamn afraid of disappointing my family that i fainted on my desk while doing hw at#10 yrs old . yeah . JUST 10 YRS OLD#fainted due to overworking hawjgvhfk#also i was going to like . 2 schools at the time so like the stress was doubled hahahah darkest time of my life fr#ngl i like being my own therapist a lot and psychoanalyzing myself and my own thoughts🔎#its pretty interesting. the way i think ;0
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
( jason & jonathan = rarepair i'm so down to fuck with 👀👀👀 )
#( i'm sORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE LATELY I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH AAAAA 😭😭😭 )#( I JUST REALLY HATE ANXIETY )#( istg it has EVERYTHING to do with grad school n not tumblr or any of y'all !!!!! )#( but good news i found a place to live today and am planning on putting in my deposit as soon as the landlord sends me the app !!!!!! )#( hopefully once i get through this final wave of classes n brief assignments i'll feel better )#( & ngl just sitting here on the computer getting to type a bit on here makes me feel SO much better )#( so maybe i should stop avoiding it AKJDSFHSKDJFH )#( but yeah anyways. a lot of tough shit happening in my life atm but i hope to pull myself together soon-- )#⠀ ⠀ ☪︎ ⠀ ⠀ 𝒏𝒐𝒂𝒉 𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 ⠀ ⠀ ╱ ⠀ ⠀ out of character.
1 note
·
View note
Text
my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy i am shy with music with my dad ngl. he's the guy who really got me into music after all#on our trip like a couple of weeks ago tho? he now knows my top 3 favs are the 1975 and hozier and mcr ^___^#today apparently his coworker was like hey anyone wna come with to mcr concert! and i got rlly excited and like damn but it was in aus so..#and then mom asked if that was a kdrama LMFAOOO and then dad said no theyre emo band..... hes not wrong but i tried to say theyre punk rock#he said No They're Emo LMFAOOOOO i suppose he's not wrong. anyway#idk i really want to learn guitar uh it's good i have my dad who can possibly help out but id rather he not tbh!#+ also uhh we were walking around the other day talking about courses and he was like maybe music (for non-quota course but idk anymore lol#it's complicated) but he was like. music nah bcs you guys arent really musically inclined/talented (?) i forgor anyway a bit taken aback but#hes right unfortunately...? used to play piano as kids. doesnt feel like long ago but it was ages ago#and then i wanted a guitar and we got one but since then i've learned only like 2 chords and it's been over a year now i think. or almost.#idk anymore tbh! time crazy but anyway i will do my best fr. with everything. gah#i'll be honest i kinda really do want to pursue music actually but i'm terrified and confused? uhh complicated complicated complicated frfr#its an acoustic guitar btw. might have been easier if it were electric bcs damn its hard for me to place my fingers right#+ i think theyre cooler but not the point! if i do learn the guitar dad said we cld maybe buy an electric one or a bass so... ^___^#anyway i think mom is warming up to cats and we might convince her more soon to. yk. allow us to adopt#not buy! i want to adopt. i love cats they deserve everything but i also really love dogs sobbing but moms scared so its fine#i forgot my other thought oh my god goodbye#oh. right! violin! lune likes the violin and considering we now know its our moms fav instrument we may convince her to let lune learn ?!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bro... I have this customer I learned to recognize despite her not appearing all very often, because she has really curly hair and recognizable face (very cute one). And like, I swear, whenever she spots me amongst the staff she gives this most genuine, most bright smile and her eyes actually shine with joy o_o' There is just something about the way her face changes when she happens to get her packages from me (I work at the post office)
And in retrospective I was not very attentive about the fact, but today she also asked me what my name was and pointed out something about feeling happy whenever it's my shift or something...? I kind of wonder whether she actually likes me, I swear this is the most puppy eyes look I've ever seen in my life ._." I mean if true that'd be awkward because I sworn off having relationship for a good while (for both poor mental health and spiritual reasons), but this feels flattering. Like, I can't even really articulate how much of an ego boost this feels like ._.
#personal#cool life stories#i mean.. if true i am probably just a temporary interest as she has a boyfriend#(he came with her in the office a couple of times)#but still this feels... different#a few years ago i was getting like... occasional interest from men and it stopped for a good while#so not only feel attractive again but also have a woman giving me a rather delighted look in her eyes?#this is very flattering#i am not sure what happened to me recently but in general ive been receiving more positivity#but stuff like this? this makes me feel incredibly sexy ngl even if i am not looking for a partner for a long while#sorry it touches irl stuff a bit too much for my cool fandomry internet persona tho#but today felt like a rather interesting time and i wanted to share in the blog#shit like this boosts my self-esteem beyond acceptable level and makes me feel like hot shit#needless to say i might misinterpret but in that case that'd be even better#because if thats just platonic sort of then like... i might get a new irl friend#after all my irl friends but one left in other cities thus becoming long distance ones *sobs*
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
the night sky was so pretty..
#🌙.rambles#the sky was so clear n#the night was cold yeah but it wasn't too much for me. i'm used to the cold#n the stars were.. so bright. i recognized some constellations n planets n#it's. been so long since i saw the night sky as clearly as that n i felt like crying a bit ngl#i'll forever remember the sight i saw tonight. of how i missed it so much. n the many times i've imagined n dreamed of it#finally i.. was under that night sky again. n time stopped for me then n i felt like myself. renewed hope. remembrance.#warmth despite the cold. n. oh my god i'm at a loss for words rn i'm so sleepy but yeah#to my dismay the moon wasn't seen but. the night sky was still so beautiful#one day i rlly want to just stargaze w my family again properly. w my friends n. someday one day with a significant other as well#i'm so happy hfksjfsjfs it's been so long since i saw the night sky so clearly n it means so much to me 🥹#i'll sleep early tonight. i want to be up by dawn tomorrow#i'll always remember this night fr hfkjsfjsjjfs 🥹🤍 please.. please please let me remember that moment forever#edit/ i'm rlly so happy rn i feel like crying bcs last night i.. felt so. nvm i'll move forward from then. i'll remove these tags#n focus on doing better instead forging onwards to the future. n last night will always be a reminder. but seeing the stars tonight i..#i'll still hope! i'll hold on! the sight of the stars tonight make me dream of a better me. they remind me of who i really am#i think i'll sleep early tonight i. i deserve that rest. today was good.#words i have rn aren't enough for me to convey just how much the night n the sky n the stars n. rlly just all of that mean to me :<<#ever since i was young n. honestly just rlly throughout my whole life. yeah. too personal for here though#i wish the wonder n love i felt under the night sky tonight wld last forever. even w its cold i found warmth. w apollo n my family n#one day.. you? if you ever wanted that. if you ever imagined it. one day i know i'll feel this way again. i'll hold unto myself until then.#n one day we'll meet under the night sky n i'll be glad i chose to hold unto myself n continue to forge ahead#ohh last thought yk next time i'll bring a proper camera too ehe i just used my phone this time ><#i just love love capturing memories n keeping them to myself n remembering n reminiscing.#i'm so tempted to write some stories or ideas or wtvr but i think i'll remember what i felt earlier tonight forever.#it rlly means a lot to me for. so many reasons. i'll sleep early tonight since i want to be up for dawn!!!! so. gn <3#i miss the dawn i used to know so well just as much as i missed the same night sky i saw tonight. feels like i'm living in a dream rn#but this.. i guess a scar yeah. its meaning is different from last night n that means the world to me. a reminder i'm still alive.#i can dream n think n write more another day but tonight i hope i'll sleep in peace#there's more i want to do but.. i think i'll just do this for myself this once. yeah. so gn please take care n i'll see you on the morrow
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tomorrow’s to do list:
A fuckload of laundry
Wipe down everything (especially the windowsill where Benji likes to walk around on his dirty paws even though he has a cushion to sit on up there)
Clean Benji because he will probably get himself covered in grass
Hand Benji and all of his things safely over to his dad
Pick up my prescription
VOTE
???
Edibles
#seemingly today was the day the council decided to send someone to cut the grass of ALL the parks in town and all the little common areas#but they didn’t send anyone to pick up the grass and it’s gotten pretty long so it’s just out there in mounds#they also didn’t consider the fact that it rained monday and yesterday to be an obstacle to their grass cutting#basically there’s mounds of wet grass ✨✨EVERYWHEEEEERE✨✨#and benji’s a little white fluffy dog. i’ve had to attack him with baby wipes twice today already#also yes i’m going to be going without antidepressants for 24 hours because i’m stupid and the pharmacy is closed now because i did not plan#ahead for this eventuality#i’ll be fine. right? i went 27 years freeballing reality pretty much and.. okay yeah i wasn’t fine but i lived#i’ll be fine. i’ll be fine! i’m pretty sure i forgot to take it for nearly a full day a couple of times before#and i pretty much never take my beta blockers even though i 100% should#i’m not really making a good case here am i. i’m FINE#left this off the list but i might also do scalp treatments because my hair feels kinda baked ngl#fuck it. we ball#personal
0 notes
Text
.
#i have like 3 tasks ive been trying to complete the last 3 days n i hust#i literally Cant lol .#anyway im hoping i can do One tonight before i go to sleep .#bc its not Hard it just requires 3 steps rlly#but . i am Tired and Not feeling very good in any xapacity#im burnt out a lil i think . which yea okay#i havent Rested since like . monday so that checks out i crashed today and yesterday#tmr is tuesday n i am Hoping . i feel like a person enough yo do stuff n nthen go socialise#bc . yea tuesdays at my place of work go off#i get music control AND two of my fav coworkers are rostered#and free pool so .#im hoping i feel up to it .#bc i am Hating sitting at home im ngl#but .#i neef to find other shit to do#also a bar in town is Hiring n idk if id get it but i do wanna work tbere 2 nights a week#look . i just need an extra 10hrs in my paycheck thats . literally like . 2/3 shifts#i cant find it where i currebtky am so 2nd job it is#this $450 a week isnt getting me Anywhere im Suffering im ngl#i have $150 left after bills n it is Rough out here#bc that doesnt cover food or . my tobacco either so like :)) yea everything is sucking ass but its fine im gritting my teeth and Dealing#im mt fathers daughter i may lose my.mind over my rationships and emotional affairs#but u will never catch me complaining abt my finances / work situstion if i can Rlly help it#tumblr does Not Count . n neither does my father bc hes the rrason im slowly coming oit of this shit#but anyway . its fine :)#as far as anyones concerned im balling
0 notes
Text
no because who was gonna tell me watching (svt's) In The Soop again was going to be so healing to my soul this time around? Like it was very healing the first time but this time it feels more ?? and I just don't know how to explain it. It's so lovely. Oh, how I love them.
#healing while watching the soop#ngl i'm so glad my friend convinced me to rewatch it- it's having a tremendous impact on my soul and i love it#i wish to watch more but I need to go to bed ebhbhah#i finished 3 episodes & 3 behind the scenes today and i feel vv successful#what a great way to spend my sweetest day (i did do other things but i digress)#am i falling back into my svt mood? a little but not like normal? i guess mx has a strong grip on my ass ebabhha#i think i want to have warm tea outside before it gets to cold- the weather is supposed to open up this week so i'll spend a day#doing that i think- yeah hao and woo completely convinced me tbh ebhaha- if it's not warm enough i'll prolly just look out my back#door it'll have a similar effect i suppose but not the same nature-y feel- anyways good night#i just wanted to talk about my healing with svt real fast
1 note
·
View note
Text
im fully aware that i dont need to and no one is expecting me to wear makeup but the outfit i wanna wear today would fuck so hard with some heavy eyeliner but i really dont feel like putting on makeup... the struggle
#i dont need makeup to feel good about how i look but i just think some of my outfits look better paired with it#like when im just wearing a tshirt i dont wear makeup i think i look at lot better without it#but this outfit i wanna wear today with a dark dress and hat... ngl id look real good in makeup with that#im not gonna put any on cause im still kinda sick and i have therapy which can sometimes make me cry so im not risking it#but im my heart. i am wearing eyeliner and lipstick
0 notes
Text
youtube
👍
#bobtalk#typed up a post about how much i hate p.roject sekai's version of hated by life itself (the short version) but put it in drafts instead 👍#so just take this.instead of that. haterisms lost today. love is love#its not my favorite kanzaki iori but its good. this video's subtitle format sucks ngl but well. lol#i post on my laptop so every time i add a thumbs up i google thumbs up emoji and copy paste👍lore#hello. i am vocaloidposting.#i need to talk about vocaloid. hi. 👍#theres also a remaster version (its on spotify) (“ 君の神様になりたい ”) but im not sure how i feel abt it lol#Youtube
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
sociaalwerkproject
Naamloos
yoojist
stuck on this feeling
howinubam
Untitled
howinubam
Untitled
mom4son
Divine love of mother and son Incest