#seemingly today was the day the council decided to send someone to cut the grass of ALL the parks in town and all the little common areas

[fingertipsmp3]

Tomorrow’s to do list:

A fuckload of laundry

Wipe down everything (especially the windowsill where Benji likes to walk around on his dirty paws even though he has a cushion to sit on up there)

Clean Benji because he will probably get himself covered in grass

Hand Benji and all of his things safely over to his dad

Pick up my prescription

VOTE

???

Edibles

[xxlovendreamsxx]

yours, forevermore [5]

A/N: guess what @kuriquinn, this is still dedicated to you! ily girlie. 😘

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

Sasuke visits Konoha’s burial grounds before the sun has even begun to rise that morning, tired of the constant tossing and turning in the bed of the Hokage suite. There had been no benefit to staying any longer, no rest or peace of mind to be found—so if sleep would not come, he was better off putting what time he had to good use.

(gods know he never has enough of it, these days.)

It had been too long since he last came to his family’s graves, anyway.

Sighing, Sasuke lightly touches his older brother’s headstone as he reaches the familiar site, closing his eyes. Miss you more than words can say, he thinks, as he always does. After a moment, he pulls away and kneels down at his parent’s graves, offering them both a singular flower; a white chrysanthemum for his father, and a white lily for his mother. He bows his head to offer a few silent prayers.

When he is done, Sasuke lets himself smile a little, soft, small, and somewhat sad. He shifts to sit down comfortably beside Itachi’s tombstone.

“I’m late, I know,” he says, breathing in the early morning air and setting his gaze on the orange-pinkish horizon. The sun is finally getting up. “Sorry, niisan. I guess I understand why you couldn’t always hold your promise.”

But he doesn’t go on, and he lets silence take over instead, watching as the sun continues to rise, starts to warm the air. Sasuke sighs, eyes dropping shut once more. A heaviness surrounds him, but it’s far from unpleasant, he finds. He lets himself believe that it’s because the spirits of his family have come, summoned by his stressed, frustrated heart to hold and support him in this too-complicated time.

Letting their comfort wash over, Sasuke feels the tension in him ease, dwindle. Gods, he wishes his mother would really be here. Wishes she could tell him what to do, what to say. He’s sure she would know.

(more than his father and brother would, anyway. he doubts either of them would be particularly more skilled in the matters of the heart—father had always been too busy trying to lead their clan to a better future, and itachi had always been too busy being the council’s tool of destruction.)

Pensive, Sasuke wonders what his family would say if they could see the situation he was in right now. Mother would probably bonk him over the head and call him a dense idiot, he muses with a smile. But then she’d also hug him, kiss his cheek, offer him some wise words of wisdom. The opposite of Father, whom of course, would disapprove entirely. And Itachi…

Itachi would undeniably march him to Sakura’s door, demand that he tell her everything—whatever the hour it was. There would be no excuses with him, no justifying how long it was taking to make things right. He would march him all the way to the hospital, to her parents’ house, or over the village borders, if he had to.

Itachi wouldn’t let him fuck this up anymore.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he hears someone say, then, causing him to stiffen rigidly.

Sasuke turns his head over his shoulder. His gaze narrows as he sees his old sensei carrying a small bouquet of flowers. “What are you doing here?”

Kakashi frowns. “It’s my father’s birthday. I think I’m allowed to visit his grave.”

“It’s early.”

“You’re not the only one who has trouble getting rest, Sasuke.”

Mulling his lips, Sasuke keeps his mouth shut, and turns back to the brightening sky ahead. He doesn’t have the energy to argue with his ex-teacher.

(because truth is, these days, it’s not so much that he has trouble sleeping—he just doesn’t seem to have the time. or maybe he just has trouble managing it.)

Behind him, Kakashi sighs. Sasuke hears him start walking towards him, and clenches his jaw. Can’t he just be alone?

“You should think about getting new guards.”

Sasuke blinks. “What?”

“Your ANBUs—the ones you’re obligated to have watch you around the clock. You should request for new ones—or at least find out which ones you can really trust.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

At this, Kakashi gives him a look. Sasuke doesn’t understand it, but it makes his heart sink with dread for a reason he can’t explain.

That is, until:

“I heard three of your ANBUs gossiping when I was heading out of my home earlier. Whispering to each other in the middle of the street how they were glad their shift was finally over because of the things that they had been awkwardly forced to witness in your office today.”

Sasuke tenses impossibly. Shit—he hadn’t even thought about that. Of course his guards would have to be bystanders to this whole damn mess. He feels the back of his neck heat up. Fucking hell.

(indeed, he is going to need new guards—ones that won’t breach the contracted rules of upholding privacy. he needs to find out who the culprits are.)

“Sasuke… you said this was going on because you hadn’t talked about it yet,” Kakashi goes on, then. He’s so quiet, so clearly deprecating, and it makes his blood boil. “How can you not have worked this out by now? It’s been five weeks—”

Angry from both the betrayal of his ANBUs and everyone’s persistent cursed nosiness, Sasuke cuts him off with a snarl. “And how many times do I have to say that it’s none of your fucking business? Stay out of it, Kakashi—this doesn’t concern you.”

Kakashi glares at him—something that catches Sasuke by surprise. He doesn’t usually lose his temper like this.

“It concerns me that you are tearing each other apart, Sasuke,” he says, his tone low but somehow still frighteningly chilling. “So stop being so goddamn stupid and talk to her already.”

And with that, he walks away, leaving Sasuke to swallow down any resentful retorts.

Sasuke digs his hands into the grass. It kills him to admit that though his ex-teacher is nosy and overstepping, he is also right.

No more screwing around.

.

.

“Ogino.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama?”

“Get me the names of the ANBUs who were on guard duty last night.”

“Right away, sir.”

.

.

He decides to let a week pass by before ultimately doing anything, allowing Sakura some space to cool off from their last encounter. Resolute as he is on finally repairing their complicated, splintered relationship, Sasuke doubts Sakura would like to hear anything he has to say when hours earlier, he’d thoughtlessly asked her to leave a job she loved.

(something that still makes him want to groan—it’s one of the dumbest things he’s ever done.)

But he doesn’t let that time go to waste; every day, he works tirelessly on filing papers and conducting meetings, eager to free his schedule to ensure he would have no pressing responsibilities holding him back. He sets himself on making a permanent change: he can’t take back what he’s done, but he can start making his own time for the people that he loves, and put an end to this toxic habit of sacrificing everything for a singular goal. Finding justice for his family is important, yes, but so is Sakura Haruno. He can find a balance, from now on. He can keep the village safe and happy, reform the system, bring respect to the Uchiha clan—and he can make a life with Sakura, be the good partner she deserves to have at her side.

And it all starts here, by finally granting himself the right not to comply to every request sent his way. And also, delegating.

“Hokage-sama?”

Eyes flickering up from the previously sealed mission report at his desk, Sasuke raises a brow when he sees his young, brown-haired second assistant peeking unsurely from his door.

(because yes, he had finally caved to hiring someone else, pride be damned. though almost annoyingly too meek, the woman really was unworldly good at her job—appointing her was the best decision he’d made all year.)

Sasuke gestures her inside. “What is it?”

“Um…” Looking down at the floor, she tucks a fallen lock of hair behind her ear, and Sasuke knows then that he isn’t going to like what she will say. “The council is waiting outside your office. They’re requesting a meeting now—”

“Fuck no,” Sasuke immediately replies, interrupting her as his eyes narrow. He huffs an irritated breath, and returns to the classified scroll at hand. “Send them away,” he says. “And tell them to call and schedule a meeting like everyone else. I have other plans today, and I aim to keep them.”

“B-But sir, I don’t think—”

“I don’t care, Uzume. They’re not the ones who have to bury themselves in work on a daily basis, nor are they the ones who make the final decisions around here. I am the Hokage—they are merely my advisors. They will work with my schedule. Tell them they will wait until a suitable time, or I will have them escorted out of this office.”

Wide-eyed, his assistant blushes—more out of nervousness than embarrassment, he suspects—and then nods jerkily. She gives him a quick, polite bow. “Ah—of course, Hokage-sama,” she stutters, quickly stepping towards the filing cabinet. She drops a massive pile of completed forms on top. “Um, please excuse me.”

Then she disappears from his office to deliver the news, seemingly uncomfortable. Sasuke thinks it’s probably because she fears disrespecting the elders.

He goes back to work, and ignores the ensuing muffled conversation behind the door.

(although, he will admit, he feels oddly pleased as the voices start to grow in volume, exclamations of irritation and contempt becoming more and more distinct. that will teach them.)

Sasuke only pauses again when someone tries to enter anyway; the door jiggles for half a moment before, judging by the light rustling and surrendering cries, the perpetrator is seemingly stopped.

“All right, all right!” a man snaps, sounding suspiciously like Homura. His tone is dripping with sharp irritation. “There is no need to get physical—we will take our leave without you. Uncultured brats… Come, Council, we will come back another time when our leader isn’t in such a foul mood.”

Try when you have an actual appointment, Sasuke thinks, rolling his eyes.

It’s a few minutes before his assistant comes back inside, looking rather stunned. Sasuke spares her only a flickering glance, still contemplating the report.

“The guards did their job, I take it?”

Uzume’s eyes are still wide. “Uh… yes, Hokage-sama.”

He gives her a small, pleased nod. “Make sure to let them know I want no more interruptions. I intend to leave in an hour.”

She nods, too, and bows again. “Okay—um, I mean, right away, Hokage-sama. I’ll… I’ll be back later to file those papers as well.”

Sasuke hums, and the sound of her clicking heels resound across his office. He stops his assistant only when he hears her click open the door. “Uzume.”

“Y-Yes?”

He nearly sighs. “Good work today.”

Her voice reveals an undeniable smile. “Thank you, Hokage-sama.”

No, it’s you I should thank, Sasuke thinks. For cutting down my work and giving me time to get my life together.

Today is the day.

.

.

An hour later, when he gathering his things, he sends his hawk Takauji with a scroll for Sakura.

Sakura,

Meet me at my apartment in two hours.

We need to see each other. It’s important.

I know you don’t have a shift at the hospital.

Sasuke

.

.

Sakura arrives at his door twenty minutes early, turning the grim expression on his face to one of genuine surprise; he expected her to be late, if anything. Sasuke’s mouth parts, but he closes it quickly, resting his towel on his shoulder. He’d just gotten out of the shower a short while ago.

“Hi,” she says, softly, looking strangely fragile despite still being so lovely. There is a weakness to her gaze that he doesn’t like.

His heart squeezes, and Sasuke swallows. They really are tearing each other apart like this, he muses. Sakura is so much stronger than that.

(but no longer—he will break her no longer.

…or soon, anyway.)

Exhaling a slow, quiet breath, Sasuke lets the tension in him leave. He gives Sakura a nod. “You’re early,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to be early.” There is no displeasure to his tone. Only relief.

Sakura blushes faintly. “I know,” she mumbles, as she looks down at her feet. She seems almost flustered—or even conflicted. Sasuke hasn’t seen her this insecure since she was a young teenager. He hates how much he’s making her pedal backwards. “I just…”

He doesn’t need to hear more. Stepping aside, Sasuke opens the door wider; a silent invitation. Looking up, Sakura blinks at him, swallows, then acquiesces to his offer.

He doesn’t expect her to push him back a few steps and kiss him as soon as she crosses the threshold, one hand tossing his towel away while the other fists his shirt, foot driving the door shut. Sasuke’s breath snags in his lungs, body growing tight. Half a moment later, he finds himself melting against her, utterly overtaken; he draws her close, kisses her back, curling his fingers into her clothes. Her kisses are both hot and wanton as they are sweet and full of yearning, and it makes his head spin.

But then Sakura tugs at his shirt, pulling at the hem like she needs it off, and Sasuke frowns. His thoughts come rushing back to him. No… no, he can’t let this happen again. Not before they talk things out, put everything out in the open—no matter how much she sends his whole body buzzing.

His hands close around her wrists.

“Sakura,” he whispers against her lips, trying to gently tug her away. He hates how much his body screams to get her back, needing her warmth, her closeness. “Sakura, stop. We can’t. This isn’t why I wanted you to come here.”

“It’s okay,” she says, breathless, pulling him close. She kisses him once more, reaching under his shirt to caress his skin. Sasuke tenses, a groan nearly slipping out of him. “It’s okay. I want this too, Sasuke-kun. There’s nothing wrong with this—”

“Sakura—”

“It’s all right.” One of her hands falls to his belly, tracing the faint ridges there. His mind is starting to fog again. Damnit. “Please, Sasuke-kun. I—I need this. You need this.”

“Sakura, this isn’t—”

“Shh,” she hushes, catching his mouth with hers and kissing him deeper. “We don’t need to talk about it. We can keep doing this. We don’t have to stop. Please.”

The hand on his stomach slides beneath the hem of his pants, so close to where he wants her. Sasuke almost chokes, feeling himself spiral. Sharply, he pulls back, deftly slipping away from her too-wonderful fingers. Breaths heavy and choppy, he swallows against his suddenly dry throat, body burning everywhere. Holy shit that was close.

Hurt splinters across Sakura’s face, a few seconds later. The sight keeps him anchored, reminds them why they’re here. Sasuke sighs quietly.

“We do need to talk, Sakura,” he murmurs. “Everything about this is fucked up. All those weeks ago, when we—” He pauses here, and mulls his lips. He looks down. He still doesn’t know how to explain that day. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Things got out of hand. I never meant—”

A wounded noise cuts him off, and Sasuke flinches, eyes settling on Sakura again. He finds her face all scrunched up, mouth twisted as though she wants to cry. She curls a hand protectively over her chest.

“Stop. Please stop, Sasuke-kun,” she pleads, and her voice wavers, cracks. There are tears glimmering now. “I’m begging you—I can’t hear this. I can’t. My heart can’t take this.”

His throat grows tight. Gods, how he wishes he would stop making her cry. Wishes he would stop breaking her heart, wishes he could wrap his arms around her right now and kiss away all her pain. But he can’t. He really can’t. He needs to keep trying, to finally explain to her how he wants so much more than this—how he wants everything, and not just that warm space between her legs.

Sasuke touches her arm gently. “Sakura, listen…”

But Sakura doesn’t want to hear it.

“No!” she wails. She wrenches herself away so fast his heart skips a painful beat. “I’m done doing this with you, Sasuke-kun! I’m done getting pulled in every direction and getting my hopes up, only for you to tear them down! Done being the only one hurt every time you fleetingly grow some kind of conscience!” She’s trembling now, thick tears spilling down her angry cheeks as she seemingly struggles not to burst into loud, miserable sobs. “I’ve loved you for over ten years now, Sasuke-kun. Ten years. And I am tired of getting my heart broken because you can’t get yourself together…

“I don’t want to wait for the impossible anymore. I don’t want to keep hoping you might realize that you want me by your side, or that you might want a life with me. It hurts too much, Sasuke-kun. I’ve already let myself believe it once, when you kissed me all those years ago, but then—then you treated us like we were nothing and I—” A sob escapes her, then, soft and broken and unbearably hard to hear. It takes everything in Sasuke not to look away from her. “When you kissed me again all those weeks ago, I was the closest to you than I’ve been in years, Sasuke-kun… I felt like I finally mattered to you—like I knew I did, once. Even if it was just for this.” Her lower lip trembles. “But now you want to take even that away from me…”

Sakura trails out, and cries even harder, then, so hard she gasps in every breath. Sasuke’s jaw grows rigid at the sight; he doesn’t want to stand here and do nothing anymore.

So with an aching heart clenching so terribly, terribly with every beat, Sasuke cups the face of the woman he loves and gingerly wipes her tears away, careful. Sakura shakes her head with vehemence, pushing weakly at his chest to try and drive him away—but all in vain. She crumbles against his touch, defeated and helpless. She is just as starved for his love as he is for hers, he realizes with downturn of his mouth.

(it’s no wonder she doesn’t want him to take away what they have when she no longer thinks they will ever have anything more.)

Pressing his forehead to her own, Sasuke gathers all the tenderness he can find and kisses her slowly, sweetly, holding her soft, precious face in his hands. He brushes his thumb to her skin as she stills, breath hitching, more tears slipping down her cheeks. He smooths them off, and kisses her once more, just as gently, cradling her trembling body in a warm embrace. Half a sob tumbles from her lips, but she kisses him back, burying her fingers in his hair in desperation.

Maybe he can show her how he feels instead, Sasuke thinks, as he lets her take off his shirt and starts guiding her towards his bedroom. Maybe if he makes love to her with all the devotion and care in his heart, she’ll understand everything.

At least, this is what he tells himself as he lets them tug off each other clothes as they go, lips never parting even as they lightly bump and knock into walls and counters. This is what he tells himself as he kisses her, touches her, keeping himself loving and patient, determined not to let lust take over. Sakura whimpers and holds him closer, hiccupping breaths fading into moans and hot little gasps.

They’re both naked by the time they reach his bed, tumbling onto the soft mattress in the darkness of the room. Dazed, needing to see her, Sasuke reaches to turn on his bedside lamp, cursing when he inadvertently knocks their old team seven frame to the floor. The sound of Sakura laughing startles him, so much that when he turns back to look at her, he can’t help his mind from going back to that time all those weeks ago, where he’d been alone in bed and craving to have her at his side.

And now she was here; naked, smiling, and utterly beautiful, with her sweet, sweet green eyes gleaming at him so brightly. Sasuke’s mouth dries, and raw emotion wells up at him, so thickly he feels nothing short of overwhelmed. He cups her cheek and kisses her with aching gentleness, eyes slipping shut tight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, earnest as he’s ever been.

He feels the smile drop from Sakura’s mouth, lips trembling against his. Sasuke swears he can feel the hurt flaring to life again in her heart, but he refuses to budge as she pushes at him to try and run away.

“Don’t, don’t—Sasuke-kun, don’t do this—”

She starts to cry again and pushes him harder, but Sasuke holds onto her tighter and grits his teeth, brushing his thumb to her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Sakura—”

“Just let me leave,” she sobs, struggling against him. “Let me leave, let me leave, I can’t do this, just let me leave—”

“Damnit, Sakura, I love you!” Sasuke says, then, frustration getting to him as it comes out sounding sharp and much more forceful than he’d hoped.

(but he’d said it. at least he’d finally fucking said it.)

Sakura’s breath catches, and she stiffens beneath him. “W-What?”

Sasuke softens. “I love you. Sakura, I’ve always loved you. Since five years ago, since before even that. I never meant to hurt you the way that I did—I never meant to get so caught up in my goals that I never put you, or Naruto or Kakashi first. I threw away what we had without even realizing it because I was so focused on the responsibilities I had trying to get justice for my clan. And I wish I realized that sooner. I really fucking do. I wish I’d known how to solve everything, but I had no idea what to do. Especially not after we…” He swallows, and moves his hand to her jaw, then, stroking so devotedly. “Nothing about this has ever been just sex to me, Sakura. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I want more. I’ve always wanted more. I want… you.” All of you. By my side. So stay, please. Stay, and I’ll never make those mistakes again. I promise.

For a moment, Sakura says nothing; she merely keeps crying, unable to stop. Yet there is a lightness to her now, a missing heaviness to the way she wipes her tears and sniffles and hiccups, and it makes the tension in him melt away.

“Y-You love me?” she asks, eventually, her voice so feeble.

But Sasuke catches it, that certain hope and fullness that makes him want to smile. He pushes his forehead to her own, running his thump over her cheek. “I do,” he whispers.

Making some noise of relief, Sakura pulls him close and hugs him tight, burying her face in his neck. Closing his eyes, Sasuke breathes in her scent and pulls her closer, finally feeling relaxed and content—like he hasn’t been able to in much too long. His heart swells in his chest when Sakura runs her hands through his hair, whispering how much she loves him, how much she’s sorry she didn’t listen to him when he was trying to make things right. Brushing his lips to her brow, Sasuke pulls back and kisses her, kissing her again, and again, and again.

He makes love to her when she asks him to, a while later, and it’s slow, and good, and wonderful. Better than any of their times before. He feels full, complete, even moreso when he knows she does, too. There is nowhere else he wants to be—he would spend forever making love to her if he could. When Sakura gets close, she whispers to him to tell her again that he loves her, so he does, once, twice, and three times more. He kisses her when she comes soon after, holding him close and whimpering his name. Sasuke swears she’s never looked more beautiful.

They stay wrapped up in each other when they’re sated and spent, whispering conversation in the dim, moonlit room. Sasuke pulls the sheets over them when Sakura shivers a little from the cold, her giggle curling the edges of his mouth. She thanks him, and kisses him like they have all the time in the world, like there is nothing they can’t face together… and he supposes that as of tonight, that is probably true.

For the rest of his life, he will make time to kiss and love Sakura like she deserves, like she wants.

For the rest of his life, he will make sure she never doubts the place she holds in his heart.

Sleep takes them within minutes, and it’s the easiest he’s had in years.

.

.

Sakura comes to find him at lunch the next day, carrying her usual stack of paperwork and two bento boxes, along with the prettiest, happiest blush. Sasuke feels his eyes brighten in an instant, lips curling in the faintest smile. He doesn’t think twice about abandoning his work for the time being.

“Hello, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura says, tucking her files to her chest. Grinning, she shows off the bento boxes. “I thought you might want to have lunch with me. I know I left in a bit of a hurry this morning… since you know, early surgery and all.”

Sasuke hums. “Hmm. Thank you,” he says, and he takes the bento boxes from her hand to put them aside on his desk. He surprises even himself when he tugs her onto his lap, next, fighting back another smile at her slight yelp. The glow from yesterday clearly still has yet to fade.

Sasuke slides a hand to her hip. He peers inside one of the bento boxes. “Onigri?”

Sakura smiles sheepishly. “Yes… I didn’t have much time when I got home. But I made your favorite kind!”

As if to prove she isn’t lying, she grabs a ball and peels a layer of rice back, revealing the flaky okaka filling. Amused, Sasuke grabs the onigri from her hand and takes a bite, chewing carefully.

“It’s good,” he offers, and Sakura smiles wider. She eats the bits on her hands, and croons with much satisfaction, happy with the fruits of her labor.

Sasuke shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll grab my stuff and we can leave.”

Beaming, Sakura pushes herself off his lap, allowing him to do just that.

It is at the moment that he stands up, however, that Shikamaru strolls in, sporting his usual look of exasperation and mouth opened to say something. He stills and chooses to refrain himself when he catches sight of them both, something of a frown forming.

Sasuke knows then that Shikamaru dreads what he is about to say. He narrows his eyes.

“What?”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shikamaru says. He points his thumb to the door. “But we have a meeting with the other Kages starting right now. It’s about the upcoming chunnin exams.”

Fuck. That’s right. Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. He forgot.

But as he exhales a sharp breath and goes to say that he’ll be there in a minute, his eyes briefly flicker to Sakura, sees her falter. That makes him stop.

(because this was how it all started, back then. brushing her aside time and time again, choosing to deal with matters that weren’t always that pressing, simply because he felt it was his duty.)

Sasuke’s gaze lightens, shoulders softening under the weight of yesterday’s memories. He knows what to do.

“Take Uzume with you and attend the meeting without me,” Sasuke says, taking off his Hokage robes and hanging them over his chair. He gives Sakura the ghost of a smile, and moves to rid her of her stack of files, sliding them onto his desk. “I’ll look over the notes tomorrow. I trust you’ll make the right decisions.”

The smile Sakura gives him in return is blinding, positively radiating with the brightest, most brilliant happiness. Sasuke feels his heart swell with pure, simple pride.

“You sure?”

Sasuke nods at his assistant. “I’m sure.” He picks up both bento boxes from his desk, and puts a hand at Sakura’s back to gently urge her forward. He spares her a tender glance. “I have lunch plans with Sakura.”

He’s learned his lesson.

.

.

.

End.