#next stop the human world

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

NEXT STOP: HUMAN WORLD!!!

Hazbins Visit The Zoo!

Angel: *dressed in as flamboyant gay clothing as he can, swiping his dirty blonde hair back, and sucking on a lollipop* How the fuck did Charlie get Lucifer to agree to this?

Vaggie: *brushes her dark brown bangs to the side as she checks her tanned reflection in her phone's camera* I honestly have no idea. But you gotta admit that this is at least interesting. Even with the human disguises.

Husk: *looking like a stereotypical bartender in a high class bar with a white button up, black slacks, suspenders, black hair with white and grey black beard with a grey stripe going down the right side of his chin and olive skin tone* Okay, but why did she want to bring us to a fucking zoo???

Vaggie: What? Dont like being around the other bears? *watches as a blonde haired, blue-eyed Charlie rushes around with a pack of children on a field trip through the zoo* She liked the zoo in Heaven, apparently.

Alastor: *still wearing a red suit, light brown skin, dark brown hair, and sporting his usual smile* Hmmmm.... I wonder if the elk enclosure is open.

Vaggie: Alastor, no! No hunting the captive wildlife.

Alastor: Then perhaps the alligators. I have missed seeing their shining eyes from the bayou.

Hazbins: *slowly enter the Safari exhibit*

Angel: Hey, Husk! Look! It's the King of the Jungle! *points to one of the two male lions laying lazily in the exhibit amongst a pride of females*

Husk: Hmph.... lazy bastard's more like it.

Angel: Awwww, don't worry, Whiskers. You'll always be the king of MY jungle~ *gives a little kitty claw in the air* RRRRRawr!~

Random Mother: *covers her child's eyes and carries them away*

Vaggie: Ugh!.... *rolls her eye so hard that it nearly disconnects from her skull* Angel, can you be a little less horny right now? We're in a family friendly venue- *looks around* Where did Charlie go?

Kid: Mommy! Mommy! Look! *points down into the lion enclosure* There’s a girl in there!

Vaggie: *groans* Oh.... no.... *peeks into the enclosure and plasters her hands on the concrete wall* CHARLIE!!!!!

Charlie: *giggling as she gives belly rubs to the second male lion laying on its back* Vaggie! He's so soft!!!

Male Lion: *grumbles happily as it brings its paws up and cuddles Charlie to his chest, giving her licks*

Charlie: *laughs* And cuddly!

Vaggie: *jaw drops as she watches the rest of the lions all flock to Charlie for scritches and kisses*

Angel: *taking a video while playing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens on his phone* I stand corrected. CHARLIE'S the Queen of the jungle.

Vaggie: *pinches the bridge of her nose* Shut up, Angel.

Charlie: *giggling and giving scratches and nose kisses to all the lions in the enclosure.*

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[gifti3]

i graduated years ago i shouldnt have to do this...!!!!

[beastblade69]

well that's fucking awesome. all of the damage russians have done to our electric infrastructure can be repaired in one year minimum. IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE TAHN ONE YEAR TO REPAIR ALL OF THE ELECTRIC STATIONS RUSSIANS HIT WITH THEIR MISSILES. AND WE AIN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT CIVILIAN OR ANY OTHER INFRASTRUCTURE. ONLY ELECTRIC ONE. MORE THAN ONE YEAR. AND WE ARE STILL NOT STRUGGLING ENOUGH IN ONLINE PEOPLE'S OPINION. FUCK OFF

[herefortheships]

Ok from glimpses of the cancelled BJ goes Hawaiian script, plus clips I've seen from the cartoon, and now the sequel, Betelgeuse and Lydia always seem to have a scene (or scenes; might have been more than one in the cartoon) dancing together, except in the first movie. But all the media that has come after has had them dance together.

So I fully expect another dance scene in the final movie. I think dancing is just part of the characters' aesthetic. 💚

[codexjinora]

I'm pretty sure 99% of all the issues regarding mortals trying to usurp the gods would be solved, if the gods stopped treating mortals like children. Clearly mortals have existed long enough that they have entered the rebellious teenager phase. They're on the cusp of becoming adults. Stop infantilizing them, sit them down and tell them what's really going on. I'm pretty sure they will listen, and understand. They were created in your image, they are capable of understanding each of your domains to a pretty large extent. There is a way, as Brennan puts it, to explain the divine makings to them in a way they'll understand. And once they do, they will see the consequences. And they will stop.

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[skerbbie]

hey sorry if you don't like if people ask these type of questions just know you don't have to answer this but are you still working on your horrorfarm fanfic on ao3 or is it cancelled.

hmm.... it's not that I don't like these types of questions? people just don't ask how I'm doing.

you'll get an update when I feel like writing again. nothing is cancelled. guilt trips do not motivate me.

[im2tired4usernames]

They stole any possible joy of motherhood I could have possibly wanted they stole my entire childhood they stole my teenage years my twenties and they continue to steal my future they won't be happy untill they've taken my whole life

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

[simptasia]

when i was a kid i used to write stories about dr. katz, a 6 foot tall cat man who was a paediatrician. but he’d always eat all his patients. he ate children. i never explained how he kept his job, considering all the dead children. anyways, i’d always draw him wearing an old fashioned nurse uniforms, like in cartoons. that wasn’t to imply crossdressing was some creepy lunatic thing, i just found it more fun to draw a nurse’s uniform than some regular doctor uniform

[captainkurosolaire]

I've told you this before but you are an inspiration to me to keep going when I'm lost in the darkness. You're apologetically you and I admire that a lot. You're passionate about your projects and I will always be your biggest cheerleader to see you through to the end of Captain's story.

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY, JUST PUBLISH.

[maraeffect]

started watching hopecore right before bed and MAN. what a life it is we live on this earth.

[lord-squiggletits]

Read GI Joe first strike (I skipped most of the human parts again lmao) and I find myself yet again disagreeing with Barber’s attempts to deconstruct Optimus lol.

[eldritchamy]

INTERNAL DOCUMENT - FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY

Proposed Anomaly Classification for Recovered Object #01039-A, pending approval

SCP-[PENDING] - "Inside Out Hurricane"

Containment Class: Euclid Keter Disruption Class: VLAM EHKI Risk Class: Danger

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-[PENDING] is contained almost entirely within the boundaries of SCP-[PENDING]-A. [PENDING]-A should be kept closed and locked at all times unless otherwise directed by Research Supervisor [Unassigned]. A perimeter is to be maintained around the lot where [PENDING]-A sits at all times by Foundation staff posing as private security. A gated fence no less than 25ft in height should be placed around all entrances to SCP-[PENDING]-A to obstruct view from publicly accessible areas near the site. Description: SCP-[PENDING]-A is a large industrial facility with hangar-style doors at either end as well as 5 smaller staff entrances. The building is approximately 150' by 490' by 35' in volume. Brand markings on the hangar are heavily degraded, but the logo appears to have superficially resembled an unusual crown-like shape composed of four sets of horns, below which is the text "Ekur Industries, est. [indecipherable]" The exterior of the building is otherwise unremarkable. SCP-[PENDING] is an intense storm contained entirely within the interior dimensions of [PENDING]-A. The storm features extraordinary wind speeds and heavy rain that fully obscures vision beyond 2.1 meters, though lightning flashes are occasionally visible through the storm. No recording equipment has been recovered after entering the storm barrier. A specially constructed anemometer anchored from outside the building measured a sustained wind speed of at least 287.4 mph (462.5 km/h, 421.5 ft/s, 128.5 m/s), exceeding the highest reliably recorded non-tornado wind speed on Earth. Gust speeds were recorded up to 422 mph before the device suffered a catastrophic failure, prior to the completion of a 5-minute mean speed test. The maximum structural integrity of the device was designed to withstand wind speeds up to 465 mph. Water samples collected after expulsion from the storm barrier are consistent with that of non-anomalous Earth seawater. A best-fit analysis suggests the water originated somewhere in the north Arabian Sea or the Persian Gulf. The internal dimensions of the storm are unknown but believed to exceed the external dimensions of the building by a considerable margin. A successful method of measuring the scale of the storm has yet to be devised.

Addendum 01039-A.02: An exploratory mission was conducted at Entrance B, one of the staff entrances to SCP-[PENDING]-A located on the southwest exterior wall. Entrance B leads to a raised section of the facility interior presumably used by a site administrator. Much of the accessible area is unremarkable, containing various maintenance equipment and standard water and electrical infrastructure. A door of unusual construction sits at the highest accessible point within Area B. The door is a seamless, dusty tan stone that leaves no gaps around the edges, has no visible handle or opening mechanism, and is featureless apart from an adjacent sign that reads, "IT IS FORBIDDEN." Addendum 01039-A.03: EXPLORATORY LOG FOR AREA B, ██/██/20██ The first sign of something unusual was Research Advisor 2381. As soon as he saw the warning sign outside the stone door, he stopped dead and pointed at it. What follows is an audio transcript for the exploratory mission, consisting of Research Team 2381 (Dr. █████ ████████), 2607 (████ ███████), Research Lead 1670 (Dr. "█████ ███" ████████), and Mission Supervisor 0983 (Dr. ██████ █████), as well as several D-Class security personnel. 2381: "No one said that sign was in Spanish." 2607: "It's not. 2381: "Exactly." 2607: "Come again?" 2381: "I'm seeing it in Spanish." 1670: "Cognitohazard?" 0983: "Not necessarily." 1670: "[2381], what was your first language?" 2381: "Spanish." 0983: "Psychic. Everyone here have anti-memetic training?" [various noises of assent} 0983: "Good. What we're dealing with just got more interesting. If there's anything conscious behind that door, it could be anything from a low level psychic to a reality bender. Keep that Kant counter on. [2607], if you hear so much as a BLIP on that thing you call it out IMMEDIATELY."

Approximately 1 hour 16 minutes later, the team successfully opened the door and proceeded inside.

2607: "Clear so far." 2381: "Let's hope it stays that way." 0983: "Well, well. What have we here?" 1670: "Mission control be advised the room looks like an office, but everything in it is...out of place. It looks more like a museum than anything. Various maps and texts pinned to the walls. Some old artifacts. Very old statuettes and things. Normal looking desk with a lot of papers on it. There's a large viewing window overlooking the storm. Can't see a fucking thing through it, of course. Can't hear it either, though, so the glass is VERY solid. Soundproofed somehow." 2381: "Map on the wall shows ... Middle East, but it's not modern. It LOOKS like it was taken from a satellite, but there's ... it's like civilization hasn't happened yet. There's almost no cities on here at all, and I don't recognize any of the names. Might need to bring in [REDACTED] from Site-██, she has a background in Assyriology." 1670: "What is that thing MADE of? Looks like leather." 2381: "Very old leather. Sheep skin, maybe? God I hope it's sheep." 1670: "Desk is covered in old writing. Paper is all falling apart old. There's a tablet, too." 0983: "Is it on?" 1670: "Uh, not that kind of tablet, sir. Some kind of clay or stone. There's writing on it, but ... it's weird." 2607: "CLICK." 0983: "What was that?" 1670: "It's ... I can read it." 2607: "Clicks, sir. Something on the Kant counter." 1670: "I don't even know what LANGUAGE this is." 2381: "I'd guess Sumerian, based on this map. If not older." 0983: "What are you reading, [2607]? 1670: "'You who would come so far, for what do you come?'" 2607: "It's coming from the statue, I think." [several audible pops from the Kant counter] 2301: "Statue ... plaque under it says ... 'The Founder, N. Lil'?" 1670: "'For what do you invoke my name? This place is not your place, our purpose is not your purpose...'" 0983: "[1670], stop reading that right now!" [popping sounds increase in frequency and volume] 1670: "'Petulant children of Amar-Utuk, things of clay and breath, by what right do you seek the unseekable, upon whose honor do you hope to know the unknowable?'" 2607: "Sir... this thing is reading something big." 0983: "I am ORDERING you to stop. Everyone out of the room, NOW. If he keeps reading it, shoot him. He's lost." 2301: "N. Lil. Where have I heard that before?" 1670: "'As I separated the sky and the firmament-'" [multiple gunshots] 1670: "-as I separated the earth from the waters, so shall my winds separate the waters from clay. This domain is not your domain, for all domains by rights are mine alone to rule. You have come too far, and you shall trespass no further." [Kant counter emits a near constant pitch until the sound of glass shattering can be heard, and the storm overtakes the room instantly. The remainder of the audio recording is 10.3 seconds of wind, rain, and thunder before the transmission abruptly ends.]

Addendum 01039-A.04: All members of Exploratory Mission 01039-B are presumed deceased. The exterior of SCP-[PENDING]-A seems to have contained the storm and prevented further breach. Entrance B has been welded shut and all pending exploratory missions are terminated until further notice. Precisely 24 hours after the mission was terminated, a Kant counter was found outside the welded door to Area B. After drying and data recovery, it is believed to be the Kant counter used by EM 01039-B. The final recording logged by the counter showed Akiva radiation and Hume distortion consistent with an Apex tier pluripotent entity. The mechanism by which the entity is contained by [PENDING]-A is unknown. Additional research funding has been requested.

Addendum 01039-A.05: Attn. Research Team 10139-A.05, Your request is denied. We were given a clear warning. Maintain perimeter and take no further actions without authorization. MTF Eta-77 and MTF Psi-7 have been notified of your status and will be in touch. Regards, O5-11

.