#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now

[y0-yo-yo]

DCxDP: Amity Park aka uncanny Valley

Who ever thought that a family road trip across the country was ever a good idea? Especially when the family concerned is the Waynes!

...plus a Brown but you can't really talk Waynes without including Stephanie Brown

Bruce had a gala to attend in Chicago during the summer vacation Dick jumped at the opportunity to do a family road trip and try his newest car/van

was putting a Damian Wayne in an enclosed space with a Tim Drake a good idea? No. Was Dick going to argue with Bruce at least thrice a day? Maybe Will Jason be even remotely happy to be part of this trip? Probably not and will all the kids fight to choose who is in charge of the radio? Most definitely, but it'll be fun!

At first everything was awful,Bruce made them wake up terribly early, for once that Tim had slept that night! (albeit for only three hours which was plenty if you asked him) to leave even before the sun was up

Then it became alright, the eight seat car was spacy enough to not get into each other's personal space, everyone started to sing along to music and exchanging playlists

Dick had an awful amount of dico and 80's music, Bruce played his dad rock while Steph and Jason talked white girl music

They started their trip by going through Pennsylvania, taking pictures and joking on how Batman should be a local super hero there instead than in new Jersey,then they headed for Washington DC, it was fun visiting the hall of justice as tourist even tho they all knew the place better than the guides,then they went through Kentucky where Dick really wanted to visit the 'longest cave in the world' and comparing it to the bat cave (Bruce was unimpressed)

And finally they'll drive right through Illinois to get Bruce to Chicago and escape before he tries to get them to join the Gala

And then the car broke down in the middle of nowhere.

The sun would set soon but it was still really hot as we were in early August.

"the GPS say the closest city is a fourty five minutes walk" Annonce Duke while Dick,Tim and Bruce tried to find what's wrong with the car

"We could easily do the journey" Damian says placing a draw two making Steph, too invested in this game of uno with Cass and the demon brat frown

"in this heat!? Do you want us to die of a stroke?" The blond replied placing a plus two as well

"It looks like it's our only choice guys...the car won't start anytime soon better get to a town and buy some new parts" The eldest said from the front of the car

"can't we just call a cab or something?"

Asked Stephanie

"privileged behavior" Duke replied back to back "plus I don't think there's cabs in bumfuck nowhere...I ain't never even heard of 'Amity Park', plus, if they did they wouldn't have eight seat"

"wait Amity Park?" Asked Tim who was swiping grease on a now ruined travel towel "I have family who lives there..." He said thoughtfully

"maybe you can ask them if they have a place to stay for the night? There's only cheap motels in this town and I don't really wanna catch bed bugs" Duke says still on his phone

"oh wow now look who has privileged behavior!" Stephanie snort a smirk on her lips as she add a plus four to Cass's

"uhm can we go back to the part of Tim having living family members? That own a house? Why would you make up one if you had family in the state?" Dick ask "and why do you live with us?" Added Damian because, of course he would

"well... it's not like we talked a lot, I saw them...maybe two times in my life? And they were definitely my parents type of neglectful so going to them wouldn't have changed much"

"...do they also have a kid?" Bruce ask and before he got the chance to talk more he got shut down with a "no you can't adopt more kids!" From all his children

"but yes they do have a kid, we got along great from what I remember...but except sparkly pink dress I don't remember much..." Tim clarified

"I vote we still ask them for a place to stay or at least a ride, if they're Drake's family they should at least have a limousine or mansion no?" Steph asked eager to find a good bed once more

"I don't know...I haven't talked to them much... especially not after my mother's passing...I don't even know if I still have their number" Tim think his voice a little lower, he did think about his mother's sister and her family when he was still living alone in the Drake mansion but thinking back on the blurry memories of being forgotten for hours on end with his cousin didn't really make him want to reach out

"it's okay if you don't want to Timothy, we can find another way" Bruce says in his paternal voice placing a reassuring hand on Tim's shoulder

"no,no it's okay, a call won't hurt right?"

Tim looked through his phone and he, in fact, did have his cousin's number saved, he stepped away from the car to make the call. He was a bit nervous and a bit ashamed, he had a cousin his age that lived in similar conditions as him and he never thought to check up or call,and now that he did it was for a favour, they hadn't talked in over ten years and he couldn't really remember what they were like, hopefully they hadn't grown up like their parents as a stuck up asshole

----------------------------------------------------------

Samantha Manson wasn't a family person,

She didn't care for them,they didn't care for her.

She labeled all her extended family members under "family" as contact names and usually wouldn't pick up when they'd call, not that they did regularly

Yet,she was in a good mood today so when her phone light up and her ringtone rung she picked up

"uhm Hi Sam...antha?... it's Tim- Timothy drake?Wayne? I uhm- our moms are sisters?"

Was the anxious voice that waited for her on the other side of the phone

Huh...

Huh.... Timothy ? Oh fuck Timothy ! Was she a bad cousin to have forgotten one of the only kids her age that she got along with in her family?

Well got along is a big word they just stuck around each other the two times their families were attending the same galla but it was fun for once...if she remembered correctly

It was still a time where he mother was the one dressing her up in those awful sparkly or floral dresses with cutesy hairdo...a goth's nightmare Sam got shivers just thinking back on it

"Yes I remember you Tim Drake...what can I do to help?"

--------------------------------------------------------

"okay so, my cousin say she can come pick us up as long as we don't care for basic road safety?"

Tim said coming back to his family who had all migrated to sit at a picnic table near the car

Jason Dick and Damian who had left for a gas station a few minutes ago to grab some snacks and see if they had anything to fix the car came back at the same time dropping bags of chips, candy and other bar chocolate

The comment about road safety made Bruce frown (hypocrite) but all the other kids could not care less

"so...we're not getting picked up by a limousine? Or is it more of a bus bar type of thing?"

Stephanie ask resulting on her head being bonked by Dick

"no the real question is what's your cousin like?"

"I am not spending a car ride with a snobbyer version of Tim"

Jason added making Damian nod in agreement and Tim roll his eyes

"To be honest, I don't remember much? She didn't sound snobby on the phone?"

Tim guess trying to make a mental image of what Samantha may look now, she probably let her dark chocolate brown hair grow? Or maybe she cut them? Would she still wear floral prints and sparkles? Probably not she hated them as a kid

"and how are her parents?"

Bruce inquired not without warning glares from his kids

"I remember even less! But Sam said they weren't home so..."

"hn"

Bruce narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything

"really all I remember about them is the fakest laugh and sparkly pink dresses"

Tim sighed

"sparkly pink dress? Are you trying to kill my rep?"

A new voice joined in the conversation making everyone at the table jump save from cass who had noticed the presence long ago

All but turned to see this goth girl wearing an all black dress with at least three layers of clothes and even more in accessoires

She smiled at them with teeth a little too sharp for comfort

"hi I'm Samantha Manson, but please call me sam! I hope you won't mind but my car might me a little cramped"

She said in a friendly voice beeping her car key bringing her car, a hearse, back to life radio blasting the latest song she was listening to and making her headlights bath them in light really tieing the whole spooky vibes together

Yeah...the kids are gonna like this girl.

[cherrygirlfriend]

touchy subject

pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: reader seeing her ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of a miscarriage, just pure agony! wc: 1.8k inspired by the song 'touchy subject' by peach prc. originally posted 11/21/2024

a white baby gate fixed in my hallway stays haunting the house with the angels we made; sometimes, i dream, a decade away, we meet in a grocery store; you look the same, with just a few grey hairs. the blonde little girl who tugs on your shirt with your smile looks nothing like me.

it had been four years since you had last been on kildare island; four years of trying to forget the life, or the ruined bones of one, that you'd been escaping from.

after ending your engagement with your fiancé, you'd traveled all around the country in your beat-up truck, hoping to find a place where you'd belong; only to end up back in the outer banks. they say there's no place like home, and in a way, it was true. you can leave kildare island, but kildare island will never leave you.

"everything okay?"

you're startled out of your thoughts by the melodic sound of your mother's voice, and when she follows your gaze to the baby-gate attached to the door leading to the kitchen, her mouth twists into a frown. "i was meant to take that down before you got here..." she chewed on her lower lip, a pang of guilt almost punching her in the chest.

"it's fine." you shrug, trying to lift the ends of your lips into a smile, only for it to look artificial and rehearsed. "i should start unpacking."

"alright." your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, but should've been a comforting gesture, made you feel like you were underwater and the hand was simply pushing you deeper.

you stood alone in the living room of your apartment, the only thing to be heard of was the ticking of the clock your mother had already mounted on the clock, mixed in with the sounds of passing cars, so unlike the day you first moved into the apartment, yet so much like the day you were last there.

"you should keep the apartment."

"rafe, i can't do that. it's way too much, and i'm leaving-"

"it's already in your name." the man sighed, smoothing his hand over his shaved head; he looked so different than usual, the dark bags under his eyes making him look like he had aged ten years, his usually tan face almost pale. "you can do whatever you want with it. keep it, sell it, i don't care. it's yours. i never want to step foot in this place again."

your feet were almost moving on their own, the hardwood floor cold under your feet, leading you to that door, and even though you felt your blood run cold, every cell of your body telling you not to open it, you couldn't help but nudge the door open.

you didn't know what you were expecting.

stepping into the room, you let your hand trail over the soft-pink wall, still remembering the smell of paint.

"you know, you shouldn't be doing that." he sighed, leaning against the doorway. "i can just hire someone to paint the walls."

you roll your eyes, your denim overalls covered in the soft pink paint as the paint stained the white wall, "i want to do this. i'm not gonna hire someone to do everything for me when i'm perfectly fine doing it on my own."

"you're not-"

"hush." you pointed the paint roller at rafe, "i'm doing this. now pick up a paint roller or quit whining."

you look down at the crib, lined with white lace, picking up the brown teddy bear that used to belong to you when you were a child, brushing your hand over the fur, straightening the pink bow around its neck.

hung above the crib, was a picture of a couple that had just gotten engaged, wide smiles on both of their faces; a couple that had once been so familiar to you, but now, it was like you couldn't recognize either of the people in the photos.

it felt like everyone was staring at you as they walked past you; four years clearly hadn't been long enough to make the people of outer banks forget about you, and as you made your way towards the local cafe, you couldn't help but think about how long it'd take for the person you didn't want to know you were in town to find out.

you were strolling down the street, rafe's hand in yours, your fingers intertwined. you licked the ice cream cone, deep in thought, letting rafe take the lead.

"what's going through that pretty head of yours?" he chuckled softly, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, your engagement ring glimmering under the sunlight.

"baby names." you shrug, "what should we name her?"

"do you have any names in mind?"

"i was thinking..." you pursed your lips, not sure if the name you had been considering would be appropriate or not, chewing on your lower lip as you turn your head to face your fiancé, an expectant smile on his lips and his brows lifted in question, "evelyn."

when the name left your lips, you saw his mouth fall open, and for a moment you thought that you never should've spoken, but after rafe cleared his throat, there was a clear smile on his lips, his blue eyes glassy.

"you- you uh, wanna name her after my mom?"

"yeah." you smile, squeezing his hand. "i do."

for the millionth night, you were laid in bed, looking through pictures, featuring the faces of the couple above the crib in the room next door. pictures with the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist, ones of them holding hands, ones where one was pressing a kiss the other person's cheek, ones from the several midsummers parties they spent together, ones from halloween, thanksgiving, christmas...

the girl in the dress she had planned to wear on her wedding day.

"rafe, where are you taking me?" you laughed, the blindfold covering your eyes, "if the blindfold's for some kinky purpose, you better forget about it."

rafe laughed, continuing to lead you, his large hands on your waist, "come on, have a little faith in me. i'm not that bad, am i?"

"oh, you definitely are. just last week we were an hour late to ava's party because you just thought i was irresistible."

rafe snorted, "well, that's because you were." he pressed a kiss on your cheek, "you can take it off." he whispered, taking a step away from you.

untying the blindfold, you blinked a few times, letting yourself get used to actually being able to see again, only to be startled by the sight of your boyfriend on one knee in front of you, a small velvet box in his hand, "rafe...?"

you wiped away the stray tear that had left your eye without permission before it could reach your jaw, continuing to scroll through the pictures, knowing that it'd be yet another sleepless night, but when you saw a picture of her, you paused.

you weren't sure who was more nervous, you or rafe, even though you were the one in the examination chair, your shirt pulled up and your rounded stomach on full display. his hand was tightly gripping yours, the man's jaw clenched.

"let's take a look, shall we?" the ultrasound technician smiled, and you nodded, feeling her spread the cold gel onto your stomach, a slight yelp leaving your lips, making rafe squeeze your hand even tighter. you looked to him, nodding reassuringly, speaking softly, "it's okay."

rafe's grip loosened slightly and he softened his grip, both of you turning your heads to the screen, and the moment you saw the little lump on the screen, you couldn't help but feel tears stinging in your eyes.

"look. that's our baby."

"shit..." rafe stared at the screen wide-eyed, letting out a low breath, "that's our baby."

just like on any average day on the island, the sun was shining, your skin radiating with warmth as you walked down the street, looking in through shop windows; it had been a few days since you'd first stepped outside, and it seemed like your arrival had become widespread news, and you didn't receive as many stares as you did before.

you arrived at rafe's door, bringing your hand up and pounding on the door before you could stop yourself and chicken out for the third time that week. you were a wreck, unable to sleep, to think about anything other than how much you knew you needed to talk to rafe.

you waited, tapping your foot against the ground and biting down on your lip, when finally, the door slowly started opening, a small smile forming on rafe's lips when he realized that it was you.

"hey baby," he chuckled softly, placing his hands on your waist, "you miss me so much you couldn't even text me to let you know you were coming?" he grinned.

"i have to talk to you." you pull away from his embrace, taking his hands off your waist, the blonde looking down at you with furrowed brows, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest, clearly alarmed by the slight frown on your lips.

"what's wrong?"

"i'm pregnant."

without even realizing it, you had stopped in front of a jewelry store, gazing inside at the things on display as you were going down memory lane inside your head. you let out a small chuckle, about to step back and continue walking, when your blood ran cold, the smile fading away from your face, feeling as if someone had stabbed you in the heart.

to anyone else, it would've just been the backs of two random people. but even without seeing his face, you could recognize the only man you'd ever loved no matter where you went.

his short-sleeved white collared shirt was tucked into his dark jeans, riding up slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, having grown out slightly since the last time you'd seen it, his signet ring on his middle finger.

you saw him let out a chuckle, and you could almost picture how it'd sound, his hand going to rest on the back of the person he was with.

a younger woman smiled up at him, and even just from her side profile, you could tell that she was gorgeous, her flaming hair flowing over her shoulders, the smile on her face genuine, matching his.

and when you saw what she was holding up and showing to him, the knife in your chest was twisted.

an engagement ring.

[key201303]

Sylus x f!reader

Pairing: Husband!Sylus x F!Reader ft. Luke and Kieran

Warnings: pure fluff, but suggestive at the end

Plot: You come back home to find your husband playing tea time with the twins, Mephisto and your 4 year old daughter.

A/N: a few days ago I asked you guys what if I started writing with LADS boys and you seemed to like the idea so here I am 🥰 I was needing something really soft with Sylus and came up with this, hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻

“Would you like some more tea Your Majesty?” Kieran’s voice caught your attention when you entered the base. You’ve been out the entire day on a mission, trying to find a Wanderer the Association has been tracking for some time now. You were used to coming home to the voice of your little daughter playing in her room with Mephisto and her plushies but hearing Kieran’s voice coming from your daughter’s room was unusual.

Once you removed your shoes and jacket, you looked around the place, looking for your husband to ask what were the twins doing with your little girl. But for some reason he was nowhere to be seen. “Did he have to leave for some meeting and left Kieran and Luke taking care of our princess?” You thought to yourself while you walked towards the girl’s room.

Right before you could open the door to take a look, a very familiar voice was interrupted by the mechanical noise Mephisto’s wings made when he flew around. “Princess, I think 15 stickers are enough to decorate Mephisto.” Sylus told the little girl who was excitedly placing a new glittery sticker on Mephisto’s head. You slowly opened the door, trying to go unnoticed so you could find out what was going on. Once you could see inside the room, you couldn’t help your heart melting at the lovely image you had in front of yourself.

Mephisto was covered in glittery stickers with it’s nails painted in light pink, Sylus face was covered in rainbow little stones your daughter asked you thousand of times to get, two little ponytails decorating his silvery hair, fake nails trying their best to not fall off the twin’s gloves as they were sipping imaginary tea on an empty cup with their pinky fingers up and a lively pink feather scarf decorating their necks. And last but not least, your daughter having her princess dress and crown, being the head of the little tea table Sylus probably agreed on moving from the living room and having the best time of her life.

You tried to hold back your laughter at the sight of the little scene you had before you, not wanting to interrupt their little moment. But you completely failed when Sylus made eye contact with you. He definitely didn’t look as the bad boy he pretended to be for everyone else with those two little ponytails and face covered in rainbow glitter. “Look who’s finally back from work.” He said standing up and walking towards you, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Momma!!!” Your daughter screamed, getting up from the floor and running to your arms. “I see you guys were having lot of fun while I was gone.” You said as you hugged her tightly, lifting her up on your arms. “Daddy accepted playing tea time with us! And he even let me play with Mephie!!” She said excitedly. You looked at your husband with an eyebrow raised, surprise written all over your face. “Baby I told you his name is not Mephie.” Sylus said, taking your little girl from your arms, nuzzling his nose in her stomach making her laugh at the ticklish feeling. “Maybe I should punish the one who taught you to call him Mephie.” He added giving you a playful look. “Don’t do that!! I’ll protect mommy!!” Your daughter said, taking your husband’s face into her little hands, forcing him to look at her and squishing his cheeks. “Oh really??” He said, his voice muffed due to his daughter squishing his cheeks.

He put your daughter down, getting in position to fight. Your daughter ran in front of you, trying to cover you with her tiny body. Her fierce red eyes pierced her father’s heart, the same way his eyes did to yours. You couldn’t help thinking they were definitely a copy of each other. “Uncle Luke, Uncle Kieran, in whose side are you?” The girl asked with a threatening voice. The twins exchanged a hesitant look before standing up. “We will always serve you Your Majesty.” They said bowing and kneeling in front of you and your daughter. Sylus’ face turned into a defeated face when he saw his right and left hand betray him for his own daughter. “Mephie?” You asked, returning the playful look at Sylus from before. The mechanical crow squawked as he flew to land on Sylus’ finger. He let out a victorious laugh.

Your daughter, not accepting the betrayal of the little crow, takes out some of Mephisto’s favorite snack, taking it out for him to notice. “Hey Mephie, don’t you want some snacks?” She said, calling and convincing the little animal. Mephisto happily squawks, flying towards her hand. “That’s cheating Miss Traitor.” Sylus said, crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows clearly annoyed.

Only then a little battle started between you, Sylus took your daughter in his arms, turning her upside down and tickling her. “Dad wait!! I can’t- I can’t breathe.” She said laughing loudly, trying to get rid of her dad’s embrace.

You loved these little moments. These little moments when you couldn’t help feeling you all were a normal family. These moments where Sylus acted like a lovely caring dad instead of the cruel leader of Onychinus everyone thought he was.

Once your daughter’s energy was under low, you finally tucked her in bed and walked to your room where your husband was already waiting for you in bed. “Did you have fun?” You asked as you get in bed and laid in his arms. “Did you have any doubts?” He said, placing a soft kiss on your temple. “Answering a question with another question? I thought you weren’t that kind of person.” You said, hugging him tighter, leaning even further into his embrace if that was possible. “There are so many things I do you would be surprised about, kitten.” He said laughing. He definitely demonstrated you that side today.

You both stayed quiet for a little while. His long slender fingers drawing random patterns on your bared skin arm, nuzzling your hair, taking in your delicious scent that never failed to lull him to sleep. But before he decided it was time for you two to sleep, he smiled out of the blue. Sensing his sudden smile, you get off his chest, looking at him with a confused look. “I was just thinking… Maybe we should give our princess a little prince to play with so Mephie and the twins don’t have to wear tons of stickers and glitter.” Your husband said teasingly. His crimson eyes shine beautifully, moon shaped, mimicking his lips that remained as a huge smile. “I thought you didn’t like the nickname Mephie.” You teased, ignoring the fact of him asking you for another son. “You’re really good at avoiding topics.” Sylus said, pecking your lips and laughing in between.

[mythalism]

sick to my stomach when i think about how clearly inquisition set up a major worldview shattering revelation regarding the personhood of spirits and how they have been dehumanized for millennia and framed by thedas' major political and cultural institutions as worthless, soulless evil demons that everyone should fear and revile. but then inquisition, through cole's story and through solas's dialogue, asks: what makes a person? what does it mean to be a person? are you willing to expand your definition? or will you shut out any being that seems strange, confusing, or unknown to you? we were taught that demons take over bodies because they want to join the physical world, that they are jealous of the spark of humanity and want it for themselves. solas confirms that spirits are drawn through the rifts in the veil due to their wish to join the living, they want to experience life, and are corrupted by the shock of the change. jaws of hakkon presents us an alternative to the spirit-fearing chantry ideology; the avaar live in peace with spirits alongside them. it leads right into the reveal of the titans as incomprehensible, alien, almost eldritch being beyond understanding: what about them? if you accepted spirits as people, will you accept these beings too?

trespasser then explains why spirits have such a desire to be with the world, because they are not supposed to be separate. they are not jealous, as the chantry teaches, but trying to unite with a half of the world that was lost. veilguard continues the message - some ways more artfully than others. spirits became the first elves, there is little argument against spirit personhood now. the mourn watch, in all of their ret-conned glory, treat spirits as beloved friends and coworkers and adopted children. rivaini seers chat with spirits regularly. its unambiguous now. spirits are people. the chantry's dehumanization efforts are wrong. we should do something about it, right? theres someone who has experienced the corruption and dehumanization of spirits firsthand? first used as a tool and then demonized beyond recognition? who wants to fix the hostile environment that leads to the constant corruption of spirits into demons? we should want that, right? nope! its ok. just leave them! they are indeed people but who cares :)

[some-stars]

a whole lot of people in the comments seem to think that there's an impermeable forcefield around their home, and will be very upset to learn just how much fecal bacteria there is on every surface in their living space at all times no matter what they do. sorry to be the one to break this to y'all but the barrier between "inside" and "outside" is more psychological than material!

obviously it's good to wash your hands more often than the average person probably does. i wash mine more frequently since 2020 than i did before--previously it was before cooking/eating and post-bathroom plus anytime something got on them; now it's also when coming home from anywhere medical or crowded high-touch settings like public transit or concerts or handling cash (interestingly this has had zero impact on how often i get sick, which was and remains "virtually never"). however, it is literally impossible to shame people into adopting a new behavior, because that's not how the human/ape brain works. you can shame someone out of doing something bad, but not into doing something good. sorry! you just can't! i know it feels so nice to yell and throw things but it accomplishes the opposite of what you want!

also, here is a sampling of tags on this post that are not thought patterns anyone should be encouraging, and if you find yourself thinking/feeling this way (when you aren't actually medically immunocompromised or living with someone who is, in which case these thoughts still aren't great for you emotionally but at least serve a real function) then you should be concerned:

#i feel so unclean if i don't do it immediately

#does no one else feel like u physically have germs on u when u touch stuff out in public#i come home from shopping and im like ewww eww eww my hands

#any time i leave the house it feels like theres an invisible layer of filth that covers me and gets worse the longer im out

#everything is dirty

#it's like I can feel how my hands are unclean when coming back from outside

#sanitize my hands everytime i'm outside because the world is FILTHY goddamn it

#like you really don’t feel nasty covered in all those outside germs??

further points:

"you all deserve to get covid and die/this is why covid is so bad” COVID is, quite famously, airborne! this reaction tells me that y'all are not logically assessing risks but instead are reacting to the vague horrifying concept of "the Bad Outside World is unbearably filthy and i must preserve my safe clean sanctum", which is not a great starting point for making public policy.

if someone washes their hands before eating, after using the bathroom, when showering, and any time they actually feel or look dirty, we're already at 8-10+ times a day. reacting with violent performative disgust to "i don't wash my hands whenever i return home from outside" as though it was "i never wash my hands ever" is another sign of where these reactions are coming from (not the thinking brain), because that is not what anyone actually voted for!

baffling to me how many people are assuming that everyone is taught as a child to wash their hands every time they come in from outside, because i wasn't and most people i know don't do that (or didn't pre-pandemic). as usual, Your Experiences Are Not Universal.

COVID trauma is very real and understandable, but this level of utter vitriol and loathing for people who don't feel viscerally contaminated when they step outside is just not reflective of reality, and it's certainly not useful for you or anyone else.

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[katskuna]

first time kissing sukuna right after he broke someone's nose. it wasn't that huge a deal but sukuna was maaaaaad. you were sulking beside him as you both sat on the bench in the middle of the park, face red with anger.

tw// sexual harassment, sukuna being in love violently, graphic k*lling

it seems like it happened ages ago but it was actually just five. five minutes since he has defended your honor. five years since you have pulled him away. five minute since some weirdo had the audacity to spank your ass.

even thinking back to it has his fist tightening. how dare someone touch you. how dare he let someone touch you when you were with him. what was even his use if he couldn't keep you safe when he was right there with you. for fuck's sake.

he should have not even agreed to coming outside the estate, at least everyone there know that you were not to be messed with. you were his.

however, his mind wanders back to how you liked while showing him around the stalls lit up. how you bought stuff you thought he would like while he walked around with a scowl on his face.

sukuna was focused, so focused that he didn't even notice the creep that was right beside you before he- fuck! humans were the worst.

you watched his fists start shaking as he sat quietly recounting what happened. you were too shocked at the time, frozen to do anything but your boyfriend? oh your boyfriend had already punched the creep hard enough to break his nose.

you held his arm to pull him away when you saw two policemen running towards the ruckus. "sukuna, please let's just-" the air got knocked out of your lungs when you saw the creep's phone lying screen up on the ground.

it had a very clear picture of the view up your skirt. before sukuna could see it and actually kill the man- he was going to kill him anyway- you stepped on the phone hard, stomping on it till the screen turned into tiny glass pieces.

that was the moment you successfully gained enough adrenaline to pull your boyfriend away to bring him some place he could calm down, where you could calm down.

"the cops were coming." you began only for sukuna to scoff.

"i couldn't care less about them."

you knew that what he truly meant was that he only cared about you.

trying to make sense of the situation was in vain so instead you reached forward to hold his tight fists, trying to get him to relax. his eyes stared at your tiny hand atop of his big ones.

he knew you were strong, enough to handle yourself if needed but why would you when you had him? your fingers that were trying to wrap around his had his mind messed up.

he gulps before letting go of the grip, his shoulders feeling less tight by the second. you watch him watch your hands together and before you knew it, you were leaning forward to peck his cheek.

the way you have done multiple times now. the only way you have kissed him given the early stage of your relationship. to your surprise, that was the exact moment he turned his head to look at you- only to have your lips planted against his.

you internally panic when a groan left your boyfriend's mouth, about to jump away as if you were electrocuted. sukuna has better reflexes though, he holds your head and pulls you in right before you could.

a gasp leaves your mouth with the force he holds your head, as if he never wants to let go. butterflies erupt in your body which was odd to say the least cause you have only ever felt them in your stomach or your chest.

you could tell he didn't know what he was doing, his teeth scraped against your lip- more than once- and even his tongue was rough, as if he wanted to use it (aggressively) even though he wasn't sure how.

he needs to shield you.

thats all sukuna can think about on the way back to the estate. you were too valuable to him now. he knew he was going to kill that creep before his fist even met with his nose.

he was going to shield you from that too. the 'ugliness' of reality. he suddenly stopped walking to kiss you again, this time under a streetlight, the red of your cheeks highlighting in the soft glow.

"you look eager, brat." he whispers, despite knowing that he was the one attacking and deepening your kiss both the times.

he was unaware of how red his face was and you weren't stupid enough to point it out, it was okay. just how you were okay with ignoring how sukuna left the bed at night later and returned an hour later as if he was never gone.

you were okay with violence- ergh not always but it was hard to keep up your morals for creepy people with fucked up morals. good thing you never had to get your hands bloody though.

no, sukuna made enough cuts in the creep's body before hanging him upside down to drain his life out before he was back in bed, holding your body against his chest. he looked at your hands that laid on top of the pillow before he lightly pecked them.

vowing to himself that to make sure that you never have to get your hands bloody.

[lilliankoo]

play you like a game, boy 🗡️ jeon jungkook.

chapter 3/8

genre: antagonist tribe leader jk x princess reader.

word count: 4.9k

previous chapter link chapter 2

synopsis: he looks like an angel but is a devil- well that's what your kingdom thinks. he is also the blessed leader of tribe "lav"; even a leaf cannot move without his permission but here he was in-front of you on his knees. while the whole tribe bows to him- he only bows to you. now, there are two paths presented to you- marry him & return his love or refuse & watch him conquer your father's kingdom. power is an evil yet a tempting apple-and now its in your hands- are you going to take a bite; taste the sweet poison or will you use it to tempt others? its an evil world with evil options.. do you think you can handle him?

warnings: emotional manipulation, power dynamics, forced marriage, mystical elements, manipulation, secrets, made-up culture and traditions, jealousy and possessiveness, mysticism and divine Intervention. made up goddess, tribe etc. calling the leader “mother” (clears throat), i made the reader a french princess caus…im french :D aayyyyyeeee, let me know if i should anything else

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You pass through the long hallways, heading toward the chambers you now share with Jungkook. The steady hum of the villagers' voices and the overwhelming weight of the day's rituals still echo in your head, leaving your mind dizzy and disoriented. The palace feels too grand, too foreign, and every step you take only adds to the suffocating sense of being trapped in a gilded cage.

But as you walk deeper into this side of the palace, something shifts. The air seems to change. The space opens up, revealing a vast courtyard that stretches out before you, bathed in the soft glow of the fading evening sun. The scent of lilies—your favorite flowers—floats in the air, and you pause, blinking in surprise. Could Jungkook have known? But no, that's impossible. You dismiss the thought with a shake of your head.

A gentle breeze lifts the soft pink curtains that adorn the arched windows, making them flow like ribbons in the wind. The sight makes you smile, a small, fleeting moment of peace in an otherwise overwhelming day.

“We are here, Mother Y/N,” one of the helpers says, pulling you from your thoughts.

You blink, confused. You’ve heard this word far too many times today. "Mother?" you repeat, the word feeling foreign on your tongue. "Why is everyone calling me that? I’m not a mother."

You yank at the ribbons tied around your wrists, frustration bubbling inside you. The bracelets, delicate and intricate, unravel with a soft rattle, scattering beads across the floor. The helpers gasp, rushing to gather them, but your focus remains on the older woman who spoke to you.

She stands with quiet composure, the first person besides Jungkook who dares to meet your gaze instead of staring at the ground. Her eyes hold something; calm yet unwavering.

“There are things only Jungkook can explain to you,” she says, her voice steady.

You straighten, the defiance in you rising. "So bring him here," you challenge.

The helpers freeze, the air thick with tension. You take a few determined steps toward the older woman, now standing face-to-face with her. The distance between you feels like the space between two opposing forces and you refuse to back down.

“If there are things only Jungkook can tell me," you insist, your voice firm, "then bring him here.”

She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t waver. "We cannot do that," she responds calmly. "The men are celebrating. They’ll be drinking tonight. There is a reason why all the women are kept here, away from the common ground. It can get dangerous."

For a moment, you consider backing down. You’ve never wanted to trouble others you're not that cruel. But everything about this marriage, these rituals, this forced life, weighs on you. You can't ignore the way you've been shoved into this new world, without answers or choice.

“I won’t enter the chambers until Jungkook comes here,” you declare, folding your arms across your chest.

The helpers insist again, but you stand firm. As they begin to leave, you turn away, frustrated and exhausted. The door to the balcony stands before you, an open escape from the chaos inside. You walk toward it, your thoughts swirling with questions. You gaze at the now visible moon, a silent witness to the mess of your life.

You close your eyes, a prayer escaping your lips, soft and desperate.

“Do you hear me?”

A voice behind you breaks the silence, and you whirl around, heart skipping a beat. Jungkook stands there, but he’s different now. No jewels. No elaborate mantle. His hair, usually tied back with precision, flows freely around his shoulders. He’s dressed simply; a vest and pants, casual and unadorned. He looks more human, less like the grand tribe leader from the ceremony.

Your heart races, and for a moment, you forget to speak. You square your shoulders, trying to steady yourself, and finally ask the question that’s been gnawing at you since you first stepped into this palace.

"Why does everyone keep calling me 'mother'?" you ask, the words slipping out in a mixture of frustration and confusion.

Jungkook’s eyes meet yours, but he says nothing. He simply stands there, admiring you with a gaze that lingers, like he’s memorizing every detail. You’re taken aback by the intensity of his stare. His silence feels like a puzzle you're not sure how to solve.

You wait for him to respond, but when the seconds stretch on, you can't help but snap, the tension in you breaking. “What? Drank too much already?” you ask, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jungkook’s lips curl into a small, amused smile. Without warning, he steps toward you and pulls you into him, his hands settling at your waist. His touch is confident, almost possessive, as he meets your gaze with that same quiet smile.

“I know you don’t like men who drink,” he says, his voice low and steady. “I gave up drinking a year ago.”

The words hit you like a cold wave. A year ago. He’s been plotting this for longer than you thought—since before you ever met him. Now you are sure that He knows about the lilies. He knows everything. And that realization sends a chill down your spine.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook takes your hands, leading you toward the chambers with quiet determination. You’re too stunned to speak, the weight of the situation settling around you like a heavy cloak. There’s so much you don’t know, and for the first time, you wonder; what else has he planned? What else does he know?

You can feel the walls closing in, but for now, you're too scared to ask any more questions.

—----------------------------------

The door closes softly behind you, the faint echo of it clicking into place still reverberating in the quiet chambers. The room feels warmer now, more intimate, with the fading light of dusk casting long shadows across the stone walls. Without a word, he gestures for you to sit on the bed. The silken covers shimmer in the low light, soft and inviting. You comply, though your mind still churns with the many questions Jungkook left unanswered. As you settle on the bed, he stands before you, his eyes dark with an intensity that makes your heart flutter nervously.

Without hesitation, he begins untying the delicate ribbons of the bracelets on your wrists. His fingers are surprisingly gentle as they work through the knots, each movement slow, purposeful, almost reverent. The bracelets fall away, beads scattering across the floor like tiny fragments of your old life. You can’t help but notice how his touch lingers, just a moment longer than necessary, before his hands move to your shoulders.

“Let me help you,” he murmurs, his voice low and calming.

Before you can respond, he guides your arms out of the intricate layers of clothing, leaving you in the delicate chemise that clings to your form. The thin fabric feels cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the room and his presence. You suddenly feel exposed, both physically and emotionally, as his eyes scan you, though there’s no judgment in them; just an unspoken understanding.

His hands move to yours, gently cupping them, "I cannot tell you much just yet,” he begins, his voice soothing but laced with something else, something you can't quite place. “You will start to understand with time. This forest is blessed by a goddess, even though I am the leader, it is she who watches over us. She gave me this role, but she works with women. It is a woman’s power that sustains everything here.”

You listen carefully, though the words don't entirely make sense. Your mind reels with the implications. He continues, unaware of the storm of thoughts brewing inside you.“I am the leader, and you are my wife,” he says, his grip tightening on your hands ever so slightly. “People call you ‘mother’ in respect and because your presence will… fix everything.”

You blink, confused, your mind struggling to make sense of what he’s saying. The idea of being a 'mother' here, in this strange place, feels completely uncomfortable to you. But there's something about the way he says it—an undeniable weight to his words—that makes you wonder if there’s more to this than you understand. Still, you’re glad he’s finally spoken, giving you a sliver of an answer, even if it only raises more questions.

“I don’t understand," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

He doesn’t offer further explanation. Instead, his expression softens, and he tilts his head slightly. "In time, you will."

You’re still processing everything when a wave of exhaustion hits you, the weight of the day finally catching up to you. You rub your temples, your body suddenly craving rest.

“I’m tired,” you murmur, your voice heavy with the need to retreat from the storm of emotions inside you. “Where can I take a bath?”

Jungkook’s eyes soften at your words, his expression a mixture of understanding and something deeper you can’t yet read. He gives you a small nod and stands, his movements fluid as he gestures to a nearby door.

“There,” he says simply, leading you toward a door that opens into a private bathing area. The sight that meets your eyes is breathtaking—soft light from hanging lanterns spills over a marble tub filled with steaming water. The air is infused with the scent of lavender and eucalyptus, and you feel the tension in your muscles begin to loosen just by the sight of it.

Before you step into the bath, Jungkook pauses, his gaze shifting to a large wardrobe standing against one of the walls.

“Before you rest,” he says, a slight smile tugging at his lips, “let me show you something.”

You follow him over, and he opens the doors inside, you find an array of clothes—dresses, corsets, and fine fabrics, each one more beautiful than the last. In colours of deep emeralds, soft pinks, and silvery blues. The gowns are intricate, rich with embroidery and lace, while the corsets are designed with a delicacy that suggests they were made specifically for you. It’s clear that every item here has been chosen with care, each one fitting with the taste you’ve never even shared with him.

You run your fingers over the fabrics, astonished at how perfectly they seem to suit you. It feels like he’s known your preferences before you even had a chance to voice them.

“I know this is what your women wear…I mean back at your kingdom,” Jungkook says quietly, watching you with a hint of pride, “I made sure everything here was to your liking.”

You can’t help but feel a mixture of gratitude and unease. How much does he know about me? The question lingers in the back of your mind, but you push it aside for now. This isn’t the moment for doubts.

Instead, you turn back to the bathing area. “I’ll bathe now,” you say softly.

Jungkook doesn’t respond with words, only a quiet nod as he exits the room, leaving you in the privacy of the sanctuary he’s created for you. The bathwater envelops you in warmth, soothing your tired body. The tension slowly melts away as you sink deeper into the water, your mind drifting as you close your eyes.

But just before you can fully lose yourself in the bath, the door to the room opens again. You start, but it’s only Jungkook, now standing in the doorway. He walks toward you, and this time, there’s no command in his step, only an undeniable warmth. his eyes softening as he cups your jaw with his hand, the touch gentle but firm. He holds you there, looking at you as though he’s memorizing every part of you. Then, without a word, he leans in, pressing his lips to yours in a slow tender kiss. His warmth lingers, a contrast to the coolness of the bathwater. You can feel his breath against your skin, steady and calm, and in that moment, you almost forget the weight of the world outside this room.

He pulls away just slightly, still holding your face in his hands, and his voice is low, almost intimate. "You have a long day tomorrow, Y/N. I’ll be here to help you settle in—make sure everything is alright. I’ll make sure you feel at ease here."

His words carry a sincerity that catches you off guard, but the quiet reassurance settles something deep inside you. He doesn’t wait for a reply before stepping back, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he turns to leave.

—--------------------------------

The soft rustling of the curtains drags you from sleep. Sunlight filters through the delicate fabric, casting a warm, golden glow across the room. You stretch, feeling the lingering weight of yesterday’s emotions, but the restfulness of the night brings a brief sense of peace.

Then, a gentle knock on the door interrupts the quiet.

“Come in,” you murmur, not entirely awake.

The door creaks open, and one of the helpers enters, a polite smile on her face as she approaches you. Her presence feels like an invitation to begin the day, though you’re not sure you're ready for it just yet.

"Good morning, mother Y/N," the helper says softly, her voice carrying a hint of reverence. "It’s time to get you ready for the day."

You sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the helper begins to assist you, bringing you fresh clothing that seems to shimmer under the soft light. The gown she presents to you is stunning—something that would be seen during Marie Antoinette's time: a dress with a fitted bodice, flowing skirts, and delicate lace trim. The pale blue silk contrasts beautifully with your skin, and the fabric feels like a dream against you.

The gown is unlike anything the women in the tribe wear, and the realization fills you with quiet relief. Jungkook, despite his power, respected your wishes. He didn’t force you into tribal attire, the way most of the other women in the village wear. Instead, he gave you the freedom to wear something that resonates with your own heritage, something that speaks of who you are, not just where you are.

As the helper adjusts the delicate lace around your neckline, you notice that your hair is left loose. The lightness of the fabric and the freedom in your appearance feel like a small rebellion against the rigid rules of the tribe, though you know this could all change in time.

Once you’re fully dressed, the helper nods approvingly and gestures toward the door. “It’s time to meet with the council. Jungkook is expecting you.”

The thought of seeing Jungkook again after yesterday’s revelation fills you with a mixture of dread and curiosity. You follow the helper through the winding halls of the palace, your footsteps echoing against the stone floors. As you reach the entrance of the common ground, you take a deep breath, bracing yourself for whatever comes next.

—-------------------------------------

The common ground is bustling, filled with various figures of importance. When you step in, you spot Jungkook immediately. He stands tall and composed, wearing traditional tribal clothing, but there's something different about his attire. The materials are exquisite embellished with intricate beadwork and luxurious furs, signaling that even though he embraces the tribe’s customs, his status is unmatched.

He turns when he sees you, a faint smile tugging at his lips. His eyes soften as they meet yours.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Jungkook greets you warmly, stepping forward. “You look beautiful.” You offer him a small smile, though it’s tight around the edges, and nod in acknowledgment. There’s an underlying tension between you, but for now, you don’t speak of it.

As you walk further into the gathering, your eyes scan the room. You notice a few familiar faces, a handful of the tribe’s elders, and someone holding a stack of papers and a quill. The man looks at you and Jungkook, motioning for both of you to sit at the long table in the center of the room. There’s an air of formality to this meeting, and as you sit down, the weight of the situation presses down on your shoulders.

The man speaks first, addressing you with a calm, measured tone.

“Miss Y/N," he says, his words laced with an odd mix of politeness and condescension. "You are an outsider, I mean even though you are Jungkook's wife. You are still the daughter of a French king. Unlike us, you have strong connections with the people outside of this forest. You must want to stay in contact with them. Even though women hold superiority here, it is still the husband’s decision if he will allow you to leave the forest.”

The words hang in the air, and your stomach tightens. Your heart races, and you glance at Jungkook, but he’s looking straight ahead, his expression unreadable. The man turns his gaze to Jungkook, his next set of questions directed at him, his voice official and blunt.

“Do you allow your wife to visit her kingdom?” he asks.

Jungkook glances at you, and for a split second, you think you see a flicker of something—maybe hesitation, maybe understanding—but it’s gone before you can fully grasp it.

“Yes,” Jungkook says, his voice unwavering. “But only once a month, and I will accompany her.”

You blink, surprised by his words, but something inside you stirs. He still intends to control even that, though the small concession feels like a victory. For now, anyway.

The man doesn’t hesitate. “Do you allow her to stay overnight in her kingdom?”

“No,” Jungkook responds firmly, his eyes still on you, but the words feel like a physical blow.

A cold anger coils in your chest. The thought of never being able to visit your family without his watchful eye is suffocating. You never wanted this. Never asked for it.

The man pauses before asking, “Do you allow her parents to visit here?”

The question feels like a punch to the gut. You hadn’t even thought about that possibility, but now it feels like another sharp cut into your already wounded heart.

“No,” Jungkook says, without hesitation.

The room grows silent, the weight of the conversation pressing down on you. You can feel the anger building within you, the frustration at being trapped in a place that feels more and more like a gilded cage.

The meeting wraps up quickly after that, and without a word to Jungkook, you stand and make your way toward the door, your legs moving on their own accord. Your heart beats faster, every step toward your chambers feeling heavier than the last. The cool air outside is a welcome relief, but it doesn’t quiet the storm raging inside you.

Just as you’re about to step into the privacy of your chambers, Jungkook catches up with you, his hand gently grasping your arm.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice calm, though there’s a hint of frustration beneath the surface. “Like I said, you’ll understand with time. I still allowed you to visit, even though the forest forbids it. I’ve done more than what was required of me.”

You look at him, and for a moment, it feels like your heart might shatter. Tears threaten to spill, but you swallow them down, biting your lip as your frustration boils over.

With a short, bitter laugh, you turn away from him, your voice thick with emotion as you mutter, “Understand? I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”

—------------------------------------------------

You don’t go to your chambers.

Instead, you walk past the familiar halls and the rooms that have become a cage, pushing yourself deeper into the forest. The tall trees stand like silent sentinels, their shadows stretching across the ground, offering the solitude you desperately crave. you find yourself outside, near a quiet lake, the ripples of the water mirroring the turbulence inside you.

You stand there, staring at the still water, and allow yourself a moment to breathe. What now? You don’t know the answer. But you do know one thing: you won’t stay here quietly. You won’t let this place swallow you whole.

The peaceful stillness of the lake settles around you as you sit by its edge, lost in thought. The air is cool and calming, and the ripples of the water are the only sounds that fill the space.

Then, a voice breaks the silence.

"Ah, look at this angel."

You blink, snapping out of your thoughts, and instinctively turn your head toward the source of the voice. Across the lake, standing on the opposite bank, is a woman. Unlike anyone you’ve seen before, her presence is both serene and striking.

She has two earthen pots resting at her feet, their earthy tones contrasting with the pale blue of the lake. Her beauty is ethereal, almost otherworldly, and it draws you in. Her long, dark hair is partially hidden by a delicate veil that drapes around her head, but unlike the veils of the women in the tribe, this one doesn’t cover her face. Instead, it simply rests gently on her head, flowing with a soft elegance.

You can’t help but stare, captivated by her. Her green eyes—bright and vivid like the heart of the forest itself—hold your gaze, steady and unwavering.

She bends down gracefully, her movements fluid, like a dancer. You watch as she fills one of the pots with water from the lake, her hands steady and sure. The way she moves seems effortless, as though the world around her is just an extension of her being. The tension you’d felt earlier seems to ease just by watching her, and for a brief moment, you forget about the complications of your new life here. Her presence is so calming, so completely different from the chaos you’ve been swept into.

The air between you two feels thick with something unspoken, a connection you can’t quite place. As she fills the second pot, she never breaks eye contact with you, her gaze never faltering. There’s a quiet understanding between the two of you, as though she sees more than just your outward appearance.

A soft breeze moves through the trees, rustling the leaves, but still, the woman stands perfectly still, her green eyes locked with yours. You want to speak, but the words catch in your throat. There’s a strange pull in the air, a magnetism that makes your heart race in a way you didn’t expect.

The silence stretches, and you wait for her to speak, for her to break the connection. But she doesn’t. She simply looks at you, her expression unreadable yet full of something profound, as if she understands your confusion, your turmoil, perhaps even more than you do. After a long moment, she turns her gaze toward the water once more, adjusting the pots, as though nothing unusual had passed between you two. But the moment lingers in the air, settling in your chest, as if she’s left a mark on your soul.

The air is thick with the unspoken tension between you and the mysterious woman, As she adjusts the earthen pots on the ground, you finally gather enough courage to break the silence.

“Who are you?” you ask, your voice steady but curious.

She lifts her gaze to meet yours, and a soft, musical laugh escapes her lips. It’s not mocking, but rather a gentle, knowing sound. “I am not from here,” she says simply, her tone calm and smooth. “I am merely here to fetch fresh water.”

You nod slowly, taking in her words, but there’s something in her manner that makes you feel there’s more to her than she’s letting on.

“Is he troubling you?” she asks, her voice low but pointed.

Your brows furrow, a twinge of confusion passing through you. “Who?” you ask, not sure if you’re hearing her correctly.

Her lips curl into a faint, knowing smile. “Your man,” she replies, her gaze unwavering. She watches you carefully, as though reading the turmoil in your eyes. There’s a silent understanding between you two, though neither of you speaks it aloud. She doesn’t press further, instead turning her attention back to the pots she’s preparing to carry.

“You think you are defenseless here," she says, her voice low and cryptic. "But it’s him. He is at your mercy, not the other way around. He cannot hurt you like you can hurt him, he worships you."

Her words hang in the air, each one heavy with unspoken meaning. You try to make sense of them, but they only leave you more confused than before. There’s something about the way she says it—something in her eyes—that makes your skin prickle.

Before you can ask more questions, you hear a voice calling out your name. You freeze, and your heart skips a beat. It’s Jungkook’s voice, unmistakable and close.

You quickly glance back toward the sound, your chest tightening. When you turn around to speak to the woman once more, to ask her to elaborate, she’s gone. she vanished without a trace. There’s no rustling of leaves, no footsteps to mark her departure. She’s simply gone, as though she was never there at all.

Your breath catches in your throat as a strange feeling settles in your gut. You stand frozen, staring out over the lake, the strange woman’s words still echoing in your mind. The stillness of the water reflects the cloudy sky, but inside, your thoughts are a storm. What did she mean? What did she know? Who was she?

Suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching, and your heart skips a beat. You turn just as you see Jungkook breaking through the bushes, his eyes searching the area for you. The look on his face is a mixture of relief and concern. Without a word, he reaches you and pulls you into his arms, enveloping you in his warmth.

"Are you okay?" His voice is low, thick with worry.

You nod, still lost in your thoughts, but he doesn’t release you. His hold tightens as he pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes searching yours, trying to read what’s hidden there. He asks again, softer this time, "Are you sure you're okay?"

For a moment, you’re still, not knowing how to respond. You had run from him earlier, angry, confused, needing space but now, standing here in his arms, it feels like the fury is draining away, leaving behind a strange emptiness. Your thoughts linger on the woman by the lake, the cryptic things she had said. The words she’d spoken, they haunt you.

You suddenly forget why you ran. You forget the frustration and the anger. All you can focus on now is the unsettling feeling she left you with. You turn your gaze back to Jungkook, his steady, concerned gaze pulling you back to the present. Without realizing it, you reach for his hand, holding it as you ask, "How many other tribes live in the forest?"

Jungkook’s expression shifts, his brows furrowing slightly. His gaze locks onto yours, and for a moment, the world feels suspended between you two. He studies your face, his own expression unreadable. Finally, he answers, his voice steady.

"One. Only one." He pauses, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "The Devti goddess only blessed the Jeons, and we are the last ones standing."

You don’t know what to say to that, but something feels off. You look away, distracted by the thought of the woman. She had said she wasn’t from here, but she didn’t seem to fit with the tribe, either. She had a familiarity about her, but it was different from the others.

“I saw someone, a woman,” you finally speak, your voice hesitant.

At the mention of the woman, Jungkook visibly tenses. His body stiffens, and his eyes narrow with suspicion. He doesn’t say anything at first, but you can feel the change in his energy, the way his gaze sharpens.

You continue, your words slipping out before you can stop them. “She said she is not from here, she’s here to get water.”

Jungkook’s eyes darted around quickly, as though searching for something or someone. His hand immediately drops from yours as he reaches around to his back, pulling out a knife from the sheath hidden beneath his cloak. He doesn’t look at you as he holds it in his hand, but his voice comes out low, almost urgent.

"Sometimes we have neighboring tribes come through here," he says, still looking around, his attention divided. "Picking fruits, collecting water... The Lav Forest is blessed, but other tribes don’t have enough to eat or drink. It’s not safe, they’re not always friendly."

Jungkook doesn’t say more, his eyes still scanning the perimeter as he begins to move you back toward the palace. He walks with purpose, guiding you quickly, but gently, back toward the safety of the palace walls. As you move through the trees, you can’t help but feel the weight of the unknown pressing against you—what did Jungkook know that he wasn’t telling you?

The forest around you seems to grow darker, more ominous with every step. And for the first time, you feel the real weight of what it means to be a part of this forest. You don’t know what to expect next, but the feeling in the air has shifted.

You’re no longer just a “visitor” here. You’re entangled in something much bigger than you thought.

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next chapter: march 19

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taglist 💌: @jincapableoflove @voitier @koocreampie @kookxin @mysticprincessstrawberry @imwutim @synamon @withmuchluv-tannie @taekritimin123 @somehowukook @jungshaking @junecat18 @ilyjhseok let me know if u would like to be added to the list.

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author’s note: thank u so much for the love on my silly fanfic, im glad so many people are enjoying it. due to the nature of the story i have to wait a little before i write smut, hope da freaks understand >_< muaaah.

[gloomwitchwrites]

Dog with No Teeth // Chapter One

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Chapter Specific Warnings (MDNI): post-apocalypse au, swearing, canon-typical violence, threatening language, death of a minor character

Word Count: 4.6k

On a scavenging run, two unknown groups arrive unannounced. Through the gunfire, you’re separated, cornered, captured. A skull-faced Lieutenant makes a decision, changing your life forever.

ao3 // main masterlist // dog with no teeth masterlist

Eden is a home.

It is a person. A place. A community

It is the scent of old musty books, and the quiet peace before the rising dawn.

You work by candlelight in the silent hours, an open book resting on the table in front of you. Wearing gloves to protect it, you carefully turn the page, gaze scanning the faded lettering. Most of it is legible, and with some time and care, you’ll be able to replicate it on new paper with fresh ink.

Preservation.

Not of your mortal life and those that live in your community, but the preservation of humanity, culture, and human history. Five years since the world fell apart, and yet you remain, carrying on with purpose, restoring books, transcribing those that are close to falling apart, and keeping records of the years that came before.

It is enjoyable, fulfilling work but you serve a greater need to your community. Here, within your sanctuary of several hundred people, you provide them entertainment and education. The children come to you for picture books and story time, and the adults visit when they need an escape.

You are but one piece of a large whole.

“What are you doing here so early?”

You glance up, smiling at your assistant. “Could ask the same,” you laugh, pushing back from the table. Standing, you remove your gloves and set them next to the book.

Sam, your archiving assistant yawns. “Thought I’d get here early since you’re going out today with Zac and his group.” They rub at their eyes. “Shouldn’t you be at the gate already?”

“Shit,” you mutter, checking the mechanical clock hanging on the wall. Sam is right. You should be at the gate right now. “Double shit,” you groan.

Sam laughs and reaches for their own gloves. “I’ll handle this.” Putting them on, Sam settles into your chair. “We doing a refurb on this?”

“No,” you say, running around the room, grabbing your jacket and backpack. “Some of the pages are too faded. Binding is also bust.”

“Transcribe then,” murmurs Sam, gently closing the book to inspect the integrity of the cover. “Where are you going again?”

“Zac mentioned a small town they scoped out. No activity.” You walk over to Sam, yanking your jacket on. “He said there’s a library.”

Sam’s head pops up. “Seriously?”

You nod excitedly. “Said the place was locked up tight. Windows still intact.”

“Untouched?” asks Sam, eyebrows rising in surprise. You nod. Sam whistles lowly. “What a fucking find.”

“I know!” you exclaim. “Could really use some encyclopedias.”

“And dictionaries,” adds Sam longingly.

Tugging on the front of your jacket and then smoothing the front, you zip it up. “Zac said I can bring back as much as I want.”

“Did he really?” Sam shakes their head and opens the front cover of the book. “That man is sweet on you.”

“Which is why I take advantage,” you giggle.

Sam bursts out laughing. “Go. They’ll leave you behind.”

With a grin on your face and a hop to your step, you wave at Sam before heading out the side door and into the early morning. The sun is just starting to rise. Most people are still asleep or starting their day. You walk by the communal buildings where the earliest risers are preparing breakfast. You sigh when you get a whiff of what they’re cooking, wishing you could snag a meal before departing.

As you approach the gate, Zac raises his hand in greeting.

“Have I held everyone up?” you ask tentatively, glancing around.

“Not at all. Still loading up a few things. Your timing is perfect.” Zac smiles, and though you find him pleasant, nothing stirs within you. There is no lust or even romantic interest.

You observe the line of cars queued at the gate. Usually there are only one or two, but there are at least ten vehicles here including the salvaged U-Haul. “Taking a whole convoy?”

“We’re going to need it.”

“For a small town?”

Zac chuckles. “I’m dropping you off at the library. Ben will come with you.”

“I get a security detail?” you ask excitedly and Zac nods. “Fancy.”

Zac scratches at his neck, gaze roaming over the convoy. “There’s a car assembly plant a few miles outside the town. Gonna strip what we can. If things go well, we’ll come back.”

“No activity then?”

“None,” confirms Zac. “We’ve had a scouting team out there for the last two months. Not a soul has passed through.”

“That’s fortunate,” you murmur.

While your community has been largely untouched and unbothered by the outside world, there are still so many unknowns. There have been stragglers that have shown up, and while several have been accepted in and integrated, there are many more that have been turned away or shot on sight. Sometimes you think it cruel, but there are all sorts of horrors in the world now.

Ben walks around the front of the nearest car, and beams in your direction. “Hear I’m looking after you today,” he says, going in for a hug.

You accept it easily. Ben is the comedian of the community, always having a kind word and funny joke.

“And helping me haul books,” you add.

Ben winks in your direction and then turns to Zac. “We’re ready.”

Zac nods. “Load up!” he shouts.

Everyone around you heads to their designated vehicle. Engines roar and car doors slam. You follow Ben, hopping into a dusty Jeep Wrangler.

It’s several hours of open road and clear weather.

You and Ben pass the time by singing songs and playing car games. It’s a good distraction until Zac comes on over the radio and tells Ben their exit is coming up. The rest of the convoy drives on as Ben cuts away to take an exit ramp. A few more minutes and he’s coming to a stop just on the edge of town, parking the Jeep amongst a cluster of trees. The vehicle is completely hidden.

“Ready?” he asks, sliding the keys into his pocket.

“Backpack? Check. Gun? Check. Foldable wagon? Check.”

Ben blows raspberries. “Can’t forget the foldable wagon.”

You playfully smack him on the arm. “You want to haul all those books back yourself.”

“No thank you,” he mutters.

The walk is pleasant, but overall silent. Ben carries an M4AI. The arsenal back home is massive, and whenever there are trips outside the compound, the military-grade weapons come out. He keeps his head on a swivel, but other than the occasional animal sounds and the rustling of leaves, all is quiet.

“Here it is,” sighs Ben, extending one arm toward a stand-alone building at the corner of an intersection.

The library isn’t overly big. If anything, it’s what you’d expect from a small town.

“Now I know you’re excited,” he begins, slightly leaning in your direction. “But you stay close. We’re entering from the back.”

All you can do is nod eagerly, words escaping you. It’s been almost six years since you’ve been inside a library. This is a treat. It takes an insane amount of self-control to not skip all the way to the back of the building.

While the front of the building faces the intersection, behind the library is a small parking lot and two dumpsters. Ben does a slow sweep of the lot as the two of you walk toward the employee entrance. Satisfied that nothing and no one is around, Ben lowers his gun. Removing his backpack, he sets it on the ground, and rummages around inside before withdrawing lockpicks.

Adrenaline surges within you.

A few wiggles.

And then—

Click.

Grinning like an idiot, Ben slips the lockpicks into his backpack and puts it on. Grabbing his gun, he presses himself to the brick wall. Slowly, Ben opens the door with the tip of the rifle. It gives under his touch easily, the hinges even silent as the door swings inwards.

“Draw your weapon,” whispers Ben. “We need to do a sweep first.” As you reach for your Glock, Ben shakes his head. “And leave the damn wagon.”

Leaning the foldable wagon against the wall, you remove your gun from its holster. Ben enters and you follow, shifting your body to watch for anything coming up behind you. It’s a slow sweep. Starting along the wall, the two of you walk the perimeter, checking the back offices, and then finally the center-most area.

Ben comes to a stop near a collection of dusty chairs. Lowering his gun, he sighs with relief. “It’s clear.” He turns in your direction. “I’ll be keeping a lookout at the door. If anything happens, you come directly to me.”

“Got it,” you say with a mock salute.

Ben rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “And don’t drag those books along because I know you will. Leave them.”

You stare him down but Ben doesn’t budge, matching your stare with one of his own. “I mean it. If someone or something comes barreling through the front doors, you fucking run to me. Understood?”

“Sure. Got it. Understood.”

Ben checks his watch. “We have a few hours before we’re expected back at the meet point. Take your time.” He starts to walk away, and then abruptly pivots. “Wife packed a few sandwiches. Promise I’ll share.”

You snort and wave him off. “Bring me my wagon, Ben.”

“On it,” he calls over his shoulder.

As his footfalls recede, you linger in the quiet, dusty library, taking in the significance of the moment. Six years since you’ve stood inside an actual library. Five years since the world fell apart but a year before, third places were quickly disappearing. No one could spend money when wages were low and all the government’s resources were going toward the war effort. Libraries and free spaces shuttered first, losing all their funding.

This place is precious. Special. A rare opportunity.

Of all the books in your community’s collection, they’ve all come to you by the way of others, collected on routine trips and scavenging missions like today. Since stepping inside the walls you now call home, this is the first time you’ve left it. All the stories you receive of the outside world come from the mouths of those who witness it firsthand.

Like a jubilant child, you want to run around—to touch everything. The tips of your fingers buzz with an incessant itch. But you don’t dare remove anything from the shelves. Resisting is almost physically painful as you float through the aisles, taking it all in. To remove a book off the shelf, to open it up, the smell it and feel it would be paradise.

But you know better. You do.

Disturbing them without the right tools and care might cause damage or undo exposure. What you can do is look, to read the spines, and consider your options. Once you know what you want, you’ll drag your little wagon behind you and go about taking the books you want off the shelves.

Ben does leave you alone, and you’re left to wander.

Each step is light but purposeful as you move about the space. You think of everyone back home, of their likes and dislikes, of their needs and wants. More picture books would be helpful as well as some young adult novels. Some of the women have been asking for romance and few of the older folks would like some historical nonfiction.

“Where are you?” you mutter, digging around in your jacket pockets.

Crumpled paper brushes against your fingers. Withdrawing it, you smooth it out as best you can. Using the little light available to read your scribbled penmanship, you pull the wagon behind you, mentally reordering your notes by priority.

Sam wants dictionaries, and you need to grab a set of encyclopedias. Finding the “Reference” section, you survey all your options. Dictionaries and an encyclopedia set are a must, but you also consider the selections of atlases and then the thesaurus collection. The school could really use those resources, and your wagon is large enough to accommodate a few last-minute additions.

Kneeling, you admire the different editions of encyclopedias. Some appear a little worn but otherwise fine. Even though this place hasn’t had power or temperature control in five years, the place was sealed and untouched until you and Ben. It’s likely that everything inside is fine, and all you and Sam will need to do is a rebinding.

You’re completely absorbed, so focused on the tomes in front of you, that the whisper of your name has you spinning around and reaching for your gun.

Ben has his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture. A snarky remark sizzles on your tongue. Ben brings a finger to his mouth in a gesture of silence. Whatever you were going to say dissolves, leaving behind an acrid aftertaste.

Slowly, you swivel your head from side to side but see nothing.

Ben shifts closer, leans in, a glint of fear in his eyes.

“There are people outside,” he whispers.

That’s when you hear it. Distantly, you hear a car door slam, and a muffled shout. The marrow in your bones becomes ice. There are people. There shouldn’t be people.

You swallow, mouth becoming dry. “How many?”

Ben shrugs. “Not sure. But there’s two groups.”

“Two—” You shake your head slightly as that’ll clear your racing thoughts. “What do you mean two groups?”

Ben’s mouth turns downward. It’s an I’m sorry but even that is loaded.

We’re not getting out of this.

There’s a distant hoot of laughter, and then the breaking of glass as if someone’s thrown a beer bottle. It’s still far enough away that you cling to that one comfort. But if they stick around, they might come sniffing. If that happens, you and Ben will be cornered.

Ben nods his head in the direction of the front of the library. Staying low, the two of creep toward the front of the building. There are two sets of double doors. The first set open up into the library and the secondary set of doors lead directly outside. Sandwiched between them is a small atrium. Above the doors are massive windows that bring in natural light.

Out front in the intersection are several beaten up trucks. From what you can see, it’s all men, at least a dozen or two in total. They look haggard. Mean.

“Is that them?” you ask softly.

Ben doesn’t look back at you as he answers. “Just the one. These guys came in loud.” Ben shifts slightly to glance over his shoulder at you. “Surprised you didn’t hear them.”

“Lost in my books.” Ben snorts, and returns his attention to the glass doors. “What about the second group?” you ask tentatively. “Our people?”

Ben eases back a bit. He sits down on the floor, checking over his rifle. “No. Not sure who they are.” He licks his lips, gaze focused on the gun. “They’re all in black. Militarized by the look of them. Organized.”

Two groups. Two different groups.

Ben removes the clip and checks the cartridge. “Only noticed them when one of these guys went around back.” He gestures toward the men directly outside the front doors. “Fucker came out of nowhere and knifed him. Dragged his body away too.”

“Who are they?”

Ben shrugs and rummages in his backpack for a new clip. “No fucking idea. The ones out front might be marauders or slavers or—”

He pauses, gaze growing distant.

“Or what, Ben?” you prompt.

He doesn’t answer, only readies the rifle. “All I know is we need to go.”

All this work, all this effort, suddenly gone.

Your shoulders sag as the reality of the situation sets in. “I have to leave the books. Don’t I?”

“Afraid so,” replies Ben. But he smiles, and though he’s trying, you see the strain. “Next time I’ll make sure to bring you and Sam some books.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he affirms. “Let’s go.”

At the back door, you withdraw your Glock, posting up beside Ben. He cracks it open. Pauses. Opens it a little wider. He carefully sticks a small hand mirror out the opening. He turns it left then right then back again.

“Clear” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

He exits slowly, and then gestures with his hand. You step outside, squinting slightly as your eyes adjust to the light. Ben starts to cross the parking lot, heading for the exit furthest from the intersection.

The voices of the men are louder out here. A tiny bubble of panic blooms. Then simmers. Then boils.

There is no one around. No one. And yet—

A loud crack splits the air. The wall next to Ben explodes, tiny fragments of debris bursting outward. Ben stumbles backward. He grabs for you. And tugs.

You’re yanked to the side, and then spun around.

Time seems to slow, and yet everything occurs so quickly you don’t entirely comprehend what’s happened until Ben shoves the two of you behind a nearby dumpster.

“Oh, fuck,” you breathe. “Ben. We—”

Horror floods your lungs.

Blood.

Everything. Dripping from tiny holes in Ben’s body.

“Oh my god. Ben.”

You reach for him, but there are so many impact points. Too many.

“Go,” he gasps. “Go.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

As the words leave your mouth, a barrage of bullets bite into the wall directly over your head.

“Here,” he rasps, handing you the keys to the Jeep. “Leave me and fucking run. I’ll distract them.”

Shouting breaks out nearby followed by what seems like a never-ending deluge of gunfire.

Your eyes burn. “You promised me books.”

He smiles, and there’s more red than white. “You know I always deliver on my promises.”

With a groan that’s more a cry of pain, Ben stands and reloads with a new clip.

“Go,” he whispers just as he steps out from around the dumpster, gun firing.

You turn. Take off. Gunfire follows.

It comes from everywhere, but you don’t falter, don’t pause to check your surroundings. You’re not a raging bull or an agile cheetah. You are pure frenzy, pure panic, like a rabbit running from fox teeth.

“Fucking grab her!” someone yells. “Grab her!”

You don’t know if it’s the marauders or the men all in black, but there is little reason to consider who.

Survival is paramount. Survival is eternal.

In a world like this, survival is lifeblood.

It is everything.

With lungs burning and muscles screaming, you aim for the houses, knowing you can lose them if you scuttle through the overgrown backyards.

The blow comes out of nowhere.

You witness a brief taste of freedom.

And then it’s yanked right from under you.

A body barrels into you, knocking you sideways. The ground comes up fast. You throw up your arms to protect your head and face. It cushions but protects little else. You hit hard.

“Come here,” growls a male voice. Hands are on you. Grabbing. Twisting. “Let me get a good look at you.”

You kick out. Throw your fists in all directions.

“Stop your fussing.”

A quick blow to the face and you’re circling, everything becoming temporarily blurry as the person atop you brings your vision skyward.

 “Look at you,” he laughs.

It’s one of the marauders. He smiles down at you, teeth brown and grey from decay.

“Pretty thing. Gonna look cute choking on my—”

His nefarious smile drops as the rest of him stiffens. You freeze, staring up in shock as you try to figure out what’s happened. It’s a slow unfolding. A trickle. Blood begins to pool in his mouth and then it drip drip drips onto your face.

With a soft cry, you wiggle out from under him as he tips over, falling into the grass. Scrambling backward, you start to push up onto your knees, muscles poised to keep moving.

“Don’t move.” A gun barrel presses into the back of your head. It’s still warm. “Get up.”

A pair of black boots come into view. Your gaze slowly ascends. Black boots give way to black pants to a black bullet proof vest to a black balaclava. The only part of him you can see are his eyes.

Someone grabs the back of your neck. It’s a harsh hold, and you’re yanked to your feet. You twist your neck and find another man, this one almost identical to the one in front of you. This is the other group Ben spotted, the ones tracking the marauders.

The one holding your neck squeezes and the other reaches for you. “Fucking move and I’ll shoot you.”

You remain perfectly still—perfectly silent as he pats you down. The knife in your boot is confiscated along with your Glock. When they snatch the Jeep keys, you instinctually reach to take them back.

“Told you not to fucking move.”

The man slaps your hand down and you feel the muzzle return to your head.

“Sorry,” you murmur.

He stares you down for a long moment. It gives you an opportunity to observe him, and his companion. They both wear identical all-black tactical even down to the patches attached to their biceps. The bottom one you recognize. Both American flags. The one above it is eerily similar but you can’t entirely place it. It’s an azimuthal projection of the earth but a top view from the North Pole. Beneath it are two olive branches.

The stranger’s gaze shifts to just above you. He jerks his head, and then you’re shoved forward without warning. With each of them holding an arm, you’re half-dragged back to the intersection the marauders were at.

While their rusty trucks are still there, they aren’t alone. Four armored trucks are parked in a semi-circle around the marauders’ cars. More men in all-black tactical gear prowl the area. Of the first group to arrive, those that aren’t dead have been zip tied and lined up in a row on their stomachs, faces pressed into the asphalt.

When one of them moves, they’re kicked until they fall back into compliance.

“Found this one out by the houses,” says the man holding onto your left arm.

Soldiers. They have to be. This isn’t some ragtag group. They wear uniforms, all of which are perfectly maintained. Even the armored trucks are in decent condition.

A small trio of them standing nearby turn.

The centermost soldier speaks. “A woman?” His surprise is clear. And like the two men who hold you, this man too has an American flag.

He nods toward the group of facedown marauders. “These fuckers don’t let their breeders out of their sight.”

Breeders.

You almost snarl, bite back with an insult. But you keep your mouth shut. Their intentions are unclear, and you’re without a weapon. Entirely powerless.

Survival. Always survival.

He takes a few steps forward, approaching you, gaze assessing. Behind the balaclava, he gives you a once over. “Looks healthy,” he observers. Without warning, he grabs your face. You jerk back, and he clucks his tongue. “Stop moving.”

Turning your face to the left and then to the right, the middle of his brow creases. “Open your mouth.”

You glower, and don’t comply.

He grabs your nose, shutting off your air. You gasp, mouth opening.

“Has all her teeth,” he announces, dropping his hand. “Can’t be one of theirs.”

“We need to show the Lieutenant,” says the soldier to your right.

The man before you stares, and keeps staring. “Do we?”

You don’t like the implication.

“What’s this?”

A deep, masculine voice cuts through the air. It is accented. British. Every head turns, and the soldiers straighten, shoulders back and heads held high.

The man holding your left arm speaks up. “Found her running toward the houses, Lieutenant.”

All the soldiers wear plain black balaclavas. Simple. Straightforward. But the man who steps into view has a skull face stitched into his. A fucking skull.

Instead of an American flag, it’s a Union Jack.

His brown eyes behind the mask narrow. “They don’t bring their women out.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Are their numbers that low?”

“With how we’ve been picking them off I wouldn’t be surprised.”

They bicker back and forth, arguing about you but not actually talking to you.

“I’m not with them,” you say, and they all go silent.

Skull Face glowers. “You’re not?”

“I was running from them.” You glance between the soldiers who shot the man. “They’ll tell you. They’re the ones that shot him.”

Skull Face appears unmoved. “Doesn’t mean you’re not with them.”

You laugh, and it sounds a bit hysterical. “Why would I be fucking running if I were with them? Wouldn’t I be shooting back at you?”

“No,” he replies flatly. “If you were with them, you’d be bloody running from them. Not shooting at us.”

“She has to be with them. There’s no one else here.” The man who speaks up this time is directly to Skull Face’s right. The accent is different. Scottish.

“I came with one other. Those men shot at us.”

Ben. Oh. Sweet Ben.

“And where are they?” asks Skull Face.

You swallow, knowing the truth. “Behind the library. Parking lot. Near the dumpster.”

Skull Face locks gazes with another solider and nods. Two men break off, heading in that direction. He returns his attention to you. “Who are these men?”

“What?” you ask, perplexed.

“These men.” He points to the facedown marauders. “Who are they?”

These men are strangers to you. “Slavers?” When no one confirms or denies, you guess again. “Cannibals?”

“She’s playing dumb,” mutters the Scots.

“Hush, Soap,” mutters Skull Face.  “Who are they? What name do they go by? It’s an easy question. Everyone knows it.”

You shake your head. “I—I don’t know.”

Lieutenant Skull Face leans in, lowering his voice. “If you don’t answer truthfully, you and I can have an extended chat in the back of one of these trucks.”

“She had these.” The Jeep keys are tossed, and he catches them without looking. “And this.” The Glock is presented.

Soap takes the Glock. He turns it over. “They don’t give their women weapons, Ghost.”

So, Skull Face is named Ghost. Fitting.

“No,” he agrees. “Makes it easier for them to fight back.”

The very idea sobers you.

“Who are they?” you ask, feeling safe enough to do so.

Ghost glances up from the car keys. “Your worst fucking nightmare.”

“Lieutenant!” The two men that left for the library return. Jogging forward, they speak in low voices.

Ben is not with them. Ben is—

Ghost nods and steps back. “We’re taking her with us.” The two men holding onto your arms let go and Ghost immediately grabs hold of your shoulder, pulling you forward.

“Pick three of these bastards at random,” he announces, gesturing toward the facedown men. “Put them in Delta truck. Shoot the rest.”

Ghost’s hand at your shoulder slides up, grasping the back of your neck. He leans in close—so close you can pick out the little flecks of gold in his brown irises.

“You’re riding with me.”

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[trekbec82]

I've lived in Australia my whole life (42 years and counting), and my own gallbladder caused me more pain and suffering than any of our wildlife ever has.

It's really simple if you follow the number one rule of not being a fucking dumbass - if you leave it alone, it will (generally) leave you alone. There are some exceptions to that, but you should still be leaving them the fuck alone, just from further away - unless you're trained and know what you're doing, and are doing it for a good reason, like science.

On a related note, I fucking despise the phrasing "shark infested waters" and "croc infested waters" - that's their home, those waters are human-infested. If you don't want sharks or crocs having a nibble on your flesh, stay out of their house!

Also you should do a first aid course, because knowing what to do if shit goes sideways can save a life. Whether that's bites, stings, drowning, heatstroke, car accidents, or your kid falling out of a tree when trying to see a koala better. Get your first aid certificate!

Getting back to positives though, there's some absolutely stunning landscapes to consider, and I don't just mean the beaches and rainforests (we have both tropical and temperate). Central Australia is made up of several distinct deserts, which are home to both unique biodiversity not found elsewhere on the planet, and people (though not many of those, according to census data). It's not empty - it's just not full in the way cities are, and that's a good thing!

I remember twenty-ish years ago, an American (now former) friend suggested we build desalination plants around the coast, and use ocean water to irrigate Central Australia to make it "habitable". It's! Not! Fucking! Empty! And even if it was, how much damage would it do to the Great Barrier Reef, and other ocean life, to take that amount of water? I shit you not, if I could have strangled him through my dial-up internet connection, he'd be dead and I'd be a convict like some of my ancestors.

Do most people live within 100km of the coast? You bet. But sparsely populated isn't empty. Different isn't necessarily deadly. And when it is, it's probably because you fucked around and now you're finding out. That's on you.

(Did I just realise I barely mentioned the adorable marsupials? Yes. But everyone knows about the adorable marsupials, and if you don't, consider this your cue to go look them up. Also apologies for how rambly this is I just noticed it's 3am.)

I went to an exhibition on the history of migration and colonial rhetoric in Australia and it really helped me to pinpoint my exact issue with the way non-Australians (and. tbh. some aussies) talk about this country

this map is a piece of propaganda from 1921. honestly what shocked me about it was how little of Australia is marked out as “uninhabited”. I have seen maps shared around on this website that basically mark out the entirety of non-coastal Australia as “empty”. fucking colonialists from 1921 were more generous than some of you

the history of colonial Australia is a history of “taming the untameable land”. this has been reinforced through narratives that this country is:

inherently dangerous

uninhabitable

empty

this rhetoric survives in both the way Australia is imagined by non-Australians and in the self-image of Australia. the (white) aussie battler conquers the unconquerable. the outback is imagined as a post-apocalyptic hellscape. our fauna is categorised as uniquely hellish and unwieldy. so when non-Australians make joke after joke about how scared they are of this place. well you can imagine why it fills me with the kind of rage that can only be generated by the understanding that You Are Reinforcing Colonialism

[madebycloud]

Sweetener

jinx/powder x female reader — 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬⠀𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: matcha has always been too bitter for your taste, but your new coworker seems to love it, especially when she makes you taste it every single day. warnings/themes: fluff and angst, friends to lovers, coffee shop, mordern au, barista!jinx, barista!reader, jessica words: 18.5k notes: just 2 broke (tired, stubborn, idiot, proud) college students in a shitty city

Working as a barista, you're used to seeing all sorts of people.

Most times it's just a bunch of early morning adults rushing through with their quick coffee pickup before work or the mid-afternoon college students stopping by for their third/fourth cup of the day to fight off the dark circles under their eyes or the late night studiers trying to consume enough coffee to finish their all-nighters for the upcoming exams.

But you can't please everyone all the time. Some of the people are just downright arrogant.

“Whatever.” They wave their hand in the air, as though swatting away an annoying fly. “Anyway, I need a matcha latte.”

You try to keep the grimace off your face. Not only does matcha taste like grass, matcha is expensive as hell. And it's always the stuck-up pricks that ask for matcha lattes.

“Yes, anything else?”

They look you up and down with a scoff. “Did I stutter? yes, that'll be all.”

You grit your teeth, trying to keep from throttling the prick then and there. It's not only just unprofessional, but you'd probably lose your job. And you need this job. You type their order, being careful not to say something rude.

“Great,” they say as they pull out a credit card.

You ring the total up and hand the card back, watching as they slide it back into their wallet.

“And you better get it right this time, it was too hot last time,” you hear them say before taking a seat at a nearby table.

Too hot. The last time you made it for them, you were careful to keep it at the right temperature—but apparently, even that wasn't good enough for that uptight person over there.

You grumble to yourself as you get to work making the matcha latte. 

Carefully getting the perfect blend of matcha powder and water. Steaming the milk to the perfect temperature, ensuring it isn't too hot for the entitled prick, but also not too cold.

You grumble again, knowing full well the tip they're going to leave you won't be anything more than fifty cents or nothing at all.

You look at the clock. Only four hours left of this shift. Only four hours.

—

“You alright?” 

You glance up from shoving your apron into a locker as Jayce, the cafe owner, walks over.

Is it that obvious you're not doing so well? You shrug. “I'm fine. Just glad it's quitting time, y'know?”

You're really not fine. This day was just awful. Between classes, this shift, and the never ending classwork load, you're ready to collapse from exhaustion. But you don't want to bother Jayce with your problems. The guy's already got enough on his plate running this café.

When you shut the locker, you catch Jayce eyeing you with concern, but he doesn't push further.

“Speaking of,” he starts, changing the topic. “You'll be getting a new co-worker tomorrow. Maddie's moved to another city.” He leans against a wall, crossing his arms. “Can you show them the ropes? I won't be here tomorrow.”

You give him a weary smile. “Can do.” Sure, training's easy, and showing them how to make coffee and deal with difficult customers isn't that hard. But what if they suck? What if they're lazy? What if they're incompetent?

You sigh, knowing that you're getting ahead of yourself. It's all conjecture right now. For all you know, this new co-worker could be great.

Jayce seems to notice your exhaustion, and he smiles reassuringly. “Get some rest.”

Right… rest. How the hell are you supposed to rest when you still have three classes to stress about, a mountain of classwork, and a new person to train at a job tomorrow?

“Maybe I should,” you reply lazily. You're not sure if you'll be able to get rest with the load of classwork waiting for you in your apartment, but at this point, you feel too exhausted to care. You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulders, giving a tired wave. “See you.”

He waves back. “Have a good night.”

You exit the cafe, a chill wind hitting your face as you step out onto the sidewalk.

Tomorrow is going to suck.

Tomorrow is waking up at the ass crack of dawn, half dead, and dragging yourself to several classes.

Tomorrow is getting bitched out by entitled pricks who need their overcomplicated, overpriced caffeinated crap just to feel awake.

Tomorrow is the same old bullshit.

You're already dreading tomorrow.

—

Weekends. The two days of respite from the hellhole of college—at least, it's supposed to be. When you arrive at the cafe on a Saturday morning, the sun is just beginning to rise as you park your bike nearby and make your way inside.

You step through the door and are greeted by Jayce, standing by the counter. And next to him is a blue-haired girl. Must be the newbie.

“Morning,” you greet Jayce with a tired yawn. You set your belongings in the locker before walking over to the counter.

“Morning,” Jayce greets back with a smile, nodding towards the girl. “This is Jinx, the new barista I mentioned,” he tells you, confirming your suspicions.

“Jinx,” you repeat, looking her up and down.

Blue hair with two braids, and a chin-length swoop of hair on the right side of her face. She's probably around your age. Despite the early hour, she looks far too cheerful and energetic.

Jinx's eyes lands on you, and she smiles broadly. “That's me,” she chirps.

You introduce yourself, and Jayce nods in approval. “I've gotta go,” he says, putting on his coat. “I trust you can take it from here.” He pats you on the back as he walks past. “See you later.” And with that, he's out the door.

You turn back to Jinx, noticing her eyes wandering around the café. “So, uh,” you start awkwardly, “have you worked in a café before?”

Jinx snaps her attention to you. “Nope.”

“Okay… that's not a big deal,” you assure her. “I'll just walk you through everything.”

She nods, and you begin the training.

You start by showing her the basics. Operating the coffee machines—which are pretty damn fancy and confusing at first. Explaining the menu, the prices, and the specials of the day. You tell her about the regulars and the usual customers, and she seems to listen closely. 

After the basics, you get to the actual coffee-making. You start with a simple latte. You demonstrate the process, showing her how to prepare the espresso and steam the milk. She watches closely and even tries to mimic your steps.

Her first attempt is... messy. The espresso is weak, and the milk isn't steamed right. You point out her mistakes and try to guide her through the process again. She tries again… and again, it looks like a mess.

“Here—watch.” You adjust her grip on the pitcher. “You're holding it wrong. Try pouring again.”

She nods and tries once more, this time managing to make a decent pour.

“Not bad,” you praise. “Keep that up and you'll be good in no time.”

Jinx grins, but then her gaze falls to her hands. “Not so sure about that.”

You follow her gaze and spot the multiple band aid wrapped around her fingers. Her band aids seem to almost be covering every single finger. It's a little weird that her bandages cover her fingers of all things.

But you don't pry.

She sets the pitcher down, and you turn to glance at the clock on the wall. The clock reads 7:36 AM. It's still early, but the cafe opens at 8 AM.

“Hey,” you begin, “I was thinking…” You motion at the clock. “We still have time before opening. Wanna try making something different?”

She nods eagerly. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?”

“Alright.” You walk over to the cupboard. “What would you like to make?”

“Hmm, something... fun,” she hums, fingers tapping on the counter. “Like... matcha?” She shrugs. “It's my favorite.”

Matcha. That disgusting green tea powder that all these rich assholes seem to worship. And if you hear one more person saying it tastes rich or some other dumb bullshit...

You hate matcha. But if Jinx's favorite drink is matcha, then fine.

You shove down your own disdain for the drink and give her a strained smile. “You like matcha?”

“Yeah. It's delicious!” She's much more energetic than you've ever been.

You open the cupboard and sift through the supply drawers, pulling out the ingredients for a matcha latte. Jinx's eyes lock onto the ingredients that you place on the counter.  “Why do you love matcha so much?” you ask.

“Uh, it tastes good! Matcha cake, matcha ice cream, matcha mochi, matcha tea... Oh! Matcha pudding is really good too.”

She seems very enthusiastic about the drink. So much so that you wonder if she's done an advertisement for it before.

“You know,” you start, measuring out the matcha and starting the water to boil in the kettle. “For someone who seems like they'd be more into sweet and sugary things... you like some stuff like matcha.”

“Eh, I also like sweet stuff, but I like matcha better.” Makes sense. Some people just like different tastes.

The water boils, and you spoon the powdered green tea into a cup and add the steaming water. You stir the matcha in the cup with a whisk. “You've probably had tons of matcha drinks in cafes before, huh?”

You turn to grab a frothing pitcher from the counter, but the bluenette has already snatched it and started foaming the milk, her fingers gripping the handle.

“Yeah, I have. But I've never tried making it myself.”

“Never tried making one yourself?” you repeat, watching her steam the milk.

She shakes her head. “Nope. I've had a lot of matcha drinks in cafes, but I've never made one myself.”

You finish stirring the matcha in the cup. “Well, at least you haven't broken anything yet. That's a good start.”

She stops frothing the milk, glancing at you. “You mean that? you're not joking?”

“I'm just being honest.”

She hesitantly nods, taking your answer. “If you say so…” 

She pours the frothed milk into the cup along with the matcha, and you add the finishing touches before giving it to her. 

Jinx grabs the cup and looks down at the drink. “It looks good.”

“Well, take a sip.” You watch her expectantly. You expect her to spit it out, complain...

But she doesn’t. She swallows the liquid and sets the cup down. “I didn't know making matcha was so easy,” she muses, staring down at the frothy green drink.

“It's not so complicated. Just some boiled water and milk.”

She takes another sip. “So... I could make matcha myself?”

“Yup. If you know how, it's pretty simple.”

“I never knew it was this easy.... I've been buying matcha this whole time-”

Then, the bell chimes, interrupting your conversation. The first customer of the day walks in.

“Ahh…” you mutter, turning toward your new co-worker, who is still sipping on her matcha latte. “You ready?”

She sets the cup down. “I guess.”

“Just follow my lead and try to keep up,” you tell her, “it should be an easy morning.”

She smiles, adjusting her apron. “Easy as pie.”

—

The first day of work for Jinx was... well, interesting, to put it mildly.

She made a few mistakes—like over-foaming a latte, accidentally giving a customer way too much sugar in their coffee, and almost setting fire to the coffee machine… but it could have been worse.

Some of the customers were patient, kind, and understanding. Others... not so much.

One customer complained that their coffee had too much cream and was way too sweet. Another complained their frappe was melting despite ordering it without ice. Then there was the customer who ordered a ‘coffee flavored coffee’, whatever that means.  And the guy who wanted an Americano with no coffee.

By the end of the day, Jinx looked like a mess, and her apron was covered in coffee stains. You and her both shared a look of exhaustion.

“I had no idea customers could be so…” she trails off, her head in her hands on the counter.

“Frustrating?”

“More like…” she ponders some more.

“Inconsiderate?” you suggest jokingly.

“No, that's too nice.”

“How about…” you pause, mulling over some choice words. “Just plain dumb?”

“Dumb, stupid, idiotic, moronic, blockheaded, imbecilic-” she continues, listing off synonyms.

“You're going to run out of adjectives.”

“I've got plenty.” She lifts her head up, drumming her fingers on the counter. “You have no idea how many words you can use to describe an idiot. I could go on for hours.”

“I'm sure you could, but-”

“Like numbskull! Dolt. Imbecile. Nitwit. Dimwit. Dunce. Jackass. Cretin-”

“-Alright, that's enough,” you cut her off before she can start listing the entire dictionary. “I get it.”

She laughs and pushes back her bangs. “I was sooo tempted to dump a whole pot of coffee in a customer's face.”

“You shouldn't be pouring coffee on people, no matter how annoying they are.”

“But just imagine the look on their face when a steaming cup of hot coffee hits them-”

“That's assault.”

“It's self defense if… I'm defending my sanity,” Jinx counters.

“You can't just dump coffee on every annoying customer.”

“Says who?”

“Says the law,” you remind her, “...and Jayce.”

She sighs, flopping onto the counter. “I can't believe people can be this annoying. Like, how hard is it to just be nice to the people who serve you coffee?”

“Eh, well, it's too hard for some people. It's like they wake up in the morning and think… ‘Hmm, I'm going to be a massive jerk to someone working their minimum wage job today.’ And smetimes you just get those customers that you wish…” You gesture with your arm as if to mimic strangling them.

Jinx sits up, mimicking the motion with her own arms. “Or- or… you can poison their drink! Like, just a little bit. Just enough to make them a bit... sick and queasy. Or make it taste gross so they never come back, and they tell all their friends not to come back, and the cafe suddenly gets no business, and we get laid off-” She suddenly stops herself, realizing what she's saying. “I'm not making sense, am I?”

You snort. “Can you imagine the cafe being empty?”

“Mhmm! we could play our own music. Reorganize things. Drink as much coffee as we want,” she says, dropping her arms back to the counter. 

“No stupid customers. No stupid complaints. It sounds like a dream.”

She leans forward, propping her chin on her hand. “It does, doesn't it?”

Just as both of you start fantasizing about the dream of an empty café, the sound of the bell above the door rings, signaling the entrance of a new customer.

You look up, assuming it's just another customer ready to order their coffee and then complain about it. But the sight of Jayce walking through the door immediately caught your attention.

“Oh, hey, boss,” Jinx greets.

Jayce approaches the counter, his eyes scanning over the cafe. “Evening, how's the first day?” he asks Jinx.

“Just great,” she replies.

Jayce glances at the coffee stain on her apron, the corner of his lip twitching upwards, but he doesn't comment on it. “And how's the training been?” He turns towards you, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug, trying to play it cool. “She's done well-”

“Except for spilling the drinks, the coffee machine almost exploded, accidentally giving customers the wrong orders-” Jinx pipes up, counting on her fingers, “-and me almost assaulting a customer.”

“She's still learning,” you quickly add, “but she's catching on pretty quick.”

Jayce purses his lips, studying Jinx for a moment before returning his eyes to you. “She almost assaulted a customer?”

“Uh, no, it didn't happen. She was just... venting out some frustration.”

“It was close,” Jinx mutters.

You clear your throat and give her a subtle glare, silently telling her to shut up before she makes it worse, which she luckily gets the hint.

Jayce hums and glances down at the watch on his wrist before looking back up. “Right, you two can head home now. I'll take over closing the shop.”

You and Jinx exchanged confused looks. “You sure? we can help.”

He waves a hand dismissively. “No, no, it's fine. You've both had a long day. Go on, get going.”

You raise an eyebrow, a little suspicious, but you decide not to question it for now. You turn to Jinx. “Come on, let's get our stuff.”

She immediately stands up from her seat. “Holy shit, I'm dying to get out of this apron.”

—

You wave goodbye to Jayce as you both leave the cafe, heading straight for your parked bike, and climb onto it.

You notice that Jinx is walking a few feet away from you. “You need a ride or something?” you call out.

She turns around, looking at you with a smirk. “Why, are you offering?”

“Unless you want to walk-”

“I'll take that ride.” She walks over, stopping right next to where you're seated on the bike.

“Hop on, then.”

She glances at the back seat, hesitant. You notice that she doesn't have any sort of vehicle either. She bites her lip, contemplating it for a moment, before carefully climbing on the bike.

You feel the bike sag a bit underneath her weight, but it thankfully holds. 

She awkwardly sits behind you, her arms wrapping around your waist and her legs tucked beside your thighs. “You know how to ride this thing fast, right?” she asks.

“Of course, I do. I just like being careful.” You kick off the ground and begin to pedal, leaving the café behind.

“Boooring. Just gun it. I wanna feel the wind in my hair.”

“If I crash this thing, it's your fault,” you joke, picking up speed on the deserted sidewalk. “Where are you headed anyway?”

Her grip tightens around your waist, the wind blowing through her hair. “The subway.”

“The subway?” you ask, turning the bike towards the direction of the nearest subway station. “You live across the city?”

“Yeah, I live in a shitty area. Easier to use public transit.”

The entire city is shitty. “Why'd you get a job at a cafe so far from where you live, then?” You're genuinely curious.

“Not many other places are willing to hire me.”

“Why?”

She scoffs. “Too crazy. I had a job last summer at a local convenience store.”

“What, did you steal from the cash register or something?”

“Me? Hell no. You think I'd do something that obvious?”

You glance backward with a raised eyebrow.

“Alright, fine. I might have tried to steal some drinks and candy a couple of times. But! my boss was a scumbag who stole money from charity donations. He deserved it,” she explains defensively.

“I'm sure he did,” you reply, trying not to laugh at her defense. After all, she didn't need to justify stealing from a scumbag. Not that a few stolen chocolates really matter in this shithole of a city.

You continue down the sidewalk, making a left turn at a stoplight. Cars honk at you, but neither of you gives them so much as a glance of acknowledgment.

“Besides, those things are way too overpriced anyway,” she continues. “Everything in that damn store was overpriced.”

The subway station is now in view just a few blocks away.

“What happened?” you ask. “You get fired or quit?”

“Both. They fired me, and then I quit.”

“How exactly do you quit after getting fired?”

She laughs a little. “I walked back the next day and quit myself.”

That makes sense... somehow. “But, back to my question, why work so far?”

“Er, I didn't have a choice. Jayce was about the only one that would hire me.”

So it was out of desperation. You could understand that. Everyone had to do what they had to do to survive in this city.

You slow your bike to a stop, parking it outside the entrance to the subway station. You put the kickstand down and hop off the bike. “How long does it take to get to your place?”

“Like... maybe forty-five minutes? sometimes two hours,” she says, getting off the bike and stretching her arms above her head. “It's not that bad. There's usually an old guy who plays really shitty polka music on the accordion to keep me entertained.”

“Sounds lovely,” you reply sarcastically. “Shitty music and a shitty city.”

She hums, looking around. “So... I'll see you tomorrow?”

Despite the shitty city, the shitty job, you find yourself slightly looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. “Yeah, tomorrow,” you reply.

She turns and begins walking towards the stairs that descend into the depths of the subway station, before stopping and turning back around to face you.

“Hey-” she begins, stopping you. “Thanks for the ride, and... you're not so bad. For a coworker.”

You can't resist a smile. “You aren't so bad either.”

Jinx scoffs. “Pft, I don't know. Some people might disagree.” She pauses, studying your face for a moment. “See you, partner.”

She gives you one last grin before bounding down the stairs. You watch her disappear into the depths of the subway station.

You stare at the empty place where she once was, then turn away and get back on your bike, beginning to pedal away.

—

You enter the café, eyes still heavy from lack of sleep as you drag yourself through the door, only to be nearly deafened by the sound of loud music blasting from the speakers.

…this isn't the usual song that Jayce plays on the speakers. It's not soft rock, nor is it jazz, or any of those ‘old people’ types of music that he usually has on.

It sounds like... is that heavy metal?  Not just any kind of heavy metal, but the really fast-paced, hyper, head-banging kind.

You step inside and spot Jinx, who is currently in the middle of aggressively sweeping the floor.

Within three seconds of seeing you, the bluenette immediately abandons her task of sweeping, bounds over to the counter, grabs a cup, and holds it out to you.

“Mornin' partner!” she greets, a smirk on her face.

Confused, but too tired to question her, you cautiously take the cup from her. “Uhh... morning.” You nod, looking down at the cup. “Thanks.” You take a small, tentative sip.

Matcha. You almost want to spit it out. But you swallow it anyway. After all, it'd be rude to spit out something someone went out of the way to make for you.

The liquid hits your tongue, and it's… different?

Different from how you make it. It's sweet, too sweet. But oddly, despite its different taste... it's actually kind of good. Good enough to make your morning slightly more bearable.

You set the cup down on the counter, trying to hide how oddly satisfied you feel.

“So?” Jinx asks eagerly, “What do you think?”

“It's... “ Good. The word almost slips out, but you stop yourself, instead clearing your throat and going for a more neutral answer. “Different.”

“Different good or different bad?” she prompts.

“Different... fine,” you say, lifting the cup back to your lips and taking another sip.

That isn't necessarily a lie, right? just because something is different doesn't mean it's good or bad. It's like a math equation, neutral on both sides.

“What's with all the-” you gesture around, “loud music?” you ask, changing the topic.

“Oh, that?” She jabs a thumb behind her towards the speaker. “I was bored out of my mind before you got here, so I changed the music.”

The loud blast of drums and guitar fills the café.

“You like it?” she asks.

It's not... bad. Just different. “I don't know if like it is the right term.”

“Mhmm, but it's good for the morning. Helps wake you up, you know?”

You look back at the cup. The taste is still weird, but the flavor is oddly growing on you. “Yeah, I guess so.”

—

For the next few weeks, every day was the same. Every shift, you stumbled into the café, half-asleep and barely alive, and Jinx would greet you with a cup of matcha latte. She doesn't bother asking if you want one, simply places down your drink and starts her own work in the café.

It's still a drink that normally makes you grimace, but... the way she makes it... she makes it different.

It doesn't make your facial muscles twitch anymore. It just tastes better. It's odd, the way that the drink has changed you. The once bitter, almost disgusting taste that you used to dread is now...

Less bitter and somehow not so awful.

You're actually able to drink it without cringing. And you don't know if that should worry you or not.

Though, there's still one burning question on your mind.

“Why do you keep making this?” you ask her one day.

“Hmm?” She glances up from the coffee machine.

“This.” You gesture to the cup in hand. “You always make me matcha lattes.”

She sets her rag down on the counter and leans against it, resting her chin on her hand. “And why are you asking?”

“I don't know, it's just-” you pause. Why are you asking? It's just a cup of matcha. Who cares? “Just wondering,” you answer, shrugging.

“Is my matcha that bad?”

“It's not that,” you assure her, shaking your head.

“Then what?” she pries. Why do you care?

You shift a bit on your feet, uncomfortable at her question.

Because, it makes you enjoy something that you originally hated. But you don't say that.

“Never mind,” you mutter, shaking your head again and taking a sip.

She just hums and goes back to her task.

From that point on, you never ask the question again. And she continues making the matcha lattes every shift.

—

You stand on the subway train, gripping the pole to maintain balance. 

The train is too crowded to find a seat, so you're forced to just stand. It's a little uncomfortable, but not the worst thing you've experienced.  You're used to these long commutes. Normally, you would be riding your bike all the way to your campus, but your bike decided to betray you this day, and your tire popped.

You still haven't gotten it fixed. You didn't exactly have the money to fix it yet. Which meant you had to rely on public transport, and getting up earlier. You usually listen to music or daydream to pass the time. But today, no music, and your brain is too tired to think.

So you just stand there, staring vaguely at the people crowding around you. They're all strangers. Most of them are wearing business suits, heading to work. Some of them are students, like you, bags slung over their shoulders, looking equally tired.

A particularly loud sound of rattling metal rings in your ears, and you grimace. The subway system is old, outdated, and in need of repair. But it's still better than the old monorail they used a few years back.

You're snapped out of your thoughts as the train jolts to a stop. The doors open with an ear-piercing screech. A group of people file off as a few others get on. You barely pay attention.

You focus on the ground, listening to the rhythmic tcha tcha of the wheels on the track.

Just as your thoughts begin to lull, you're suddenly shaken from your tired trance by the feeling of another hand gripping the pole you're holding.

You lift your gaze and... Jinx?

She stands right across from you, one hand gripping the pole and the other clutching a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Oh, hey,” she greets, shifting her grip on the pole as the train begins moving again. “What are you doing here?”

“My bike broke,” you mutter. “Flat tire.”

“Ah, that suuuuuucks,” she sympathizes, wincing. “You gonna get it fixed?”

“When I have the time,” you reply, shifting your own grip on the pole. “Or the money,” you add, grimacing as a particularly loud grinding sound rings in your ears.

You keep a decent distance between your body and Jinx, and your hands don't touch. But she stands close enough that you can see the details of her face.

She is surprisingly freckled. They're not visible unless you look closely, but she has a small smattering of brown spots on the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks. Also, she's wearing makeup. The eyeliner and dark eyeshadow are expected, but she's also wearing something purple-glistened on her lips. It almost looks like-

Her tongue darts out, licking the lip gloss off.

You look at her eyes, and she's looking directly at you. You notice her eyes flitting between your own. You're not sure if she's doing it on purpose or if the staring is some strange coincidence.

“Cars are so damn expensive,” she says, shifting her gaze at the floor. “I wish I had enough money to buy a motorcycle.”

“You drive?” 

“I mean, no,” she replies, her gaze lifting again. “But if I had a motorcycle, I could finally ditch public transport.”

“You don't like the subway?”

She gives you a look, gesturing around to the crowded subway train. “Does anyone like it?”

You concede. Good point.

She studies you for a moment, eyes drifting over your bag. “Where are you headed?”

“University. You?”

“Same.”

The train jostles, and you both shift the grip on the pole again. Your hands brush against each other, her hand just above yours.

“Which university?” you ask.

“The Academy,” she answers. “Engineering.”

“That's... an expensive university.” 

“Yeah, it is,” she agrees, adjusting her grip again, her hand almost touching yours. “Full ride scholarship.”

“Damn, really? that's pretty impressive.”

Something in her mouth twitches in distaste, but she swallows it down, nodding her head with a smirk. “Thanks.”

Her gaze moves across your body, then settles on your hand on the pole. She stares at it for too long before looking away.

“Engineering, huh? you a genius or something?”

“Or something,” she says.

The train lurches again, and her fingers touch yours.

She doesn't move away. You don't move away either. Every slight motion causes her fingers to brush your knuckles or your fingertips.

The train continues moving and the silence stretches on. 

Jinx's eyes are everywhere. It's roaming around the train. But it's also flickering back to you. Then it's roaming again. Then it flicks to your hand.

Then, you catch her staring at your lips. “Nice lips,” she suddenly says.

“What?”

“What?” she repeats.

Who compliments someone on their lips? “You just suddenly said I have a nice lips,” you respond.

She looks away, face turning pink. “Uh, I dunno. I think you have a nice lips.”

Another jolt of the train. Her head whips back to look you in the eye. She still does not move her hand.

“You have nice eyes.” You're not sure what possesses you to say that. It just popped out of your brain and into your mouth.

She narrows her eyes at you and snorts. “You think so?” Her thumb brushes against the back of your hand.

“Yeah,” you say, ignoring the shiver that runs down your back at the touch. “Pretty.”

Pretty? Is that the only word you can think of? The word feels insufficient to describe her eyes. Beautiful, gorgeous, striking. Instead, you just say pretty. Idiot.

Her nose is scrunched up, but it does little to hide the redness of her cheeks.

You keep staring at her eyes. And she stares back. Her eyes flick down again to your lips. She wets her own lips. Her thumb rubs the back of your hand, moving in circles.

The train slows and comes to a stop.

“My stop,” you mutter, dropping your hand and straightening up. “I'll see you later at the cafe?”

“Uuhhh, later,” Jinx responds. “And…”

You raise your eyebrow, waiting for her to finish the sentence. But she doesn't. She just looks at you, face turning pink again. “And...?” you press.

She looks away from you. “Nothing. See you later, partner.”

“Later,” you repeat, then push your way out of the crowded train, feeling her stare follow you.

The sound of the train doors shutting makes you look back.

Jinx is still standing in the same place, watching you leave. Her hand is still on the pole, and she's smiling, her cheeks are still pink. But when she sees you looking, that smile fades, and she quickly averts her gaze.

Then the train pulls away, and she disappears from your view. You're left staring at an empty railway, feeling strangely warm.

The ride to your university passes without much thought. For some reason, your brain is too exhausted to focus on anything but the feeling of Jinx's hand on yours.

And even after you arrive at class, you're still preoccupied with thoughts of Jinx.

No, not preoccupied. More like... preoccupied-adjacent. There is nothing to be preoccupied with.

You just got off the subway with your coworker. Just a normal subway ride. There are hundreds of people every day in the subway. People brush against each other all the time.

Nothing strange about that.

But you can't stop thinking about the weight of her hand on yours. Or the brush of her touch. Or the pinkness of her cheeks. Or the freckles on her nose. Or the lip gloss on her mouth. Or her eyes.

...

Okay, fine, you're preoccupied. 

—

The cafe is blissfully empty. You take a quick glance around. Only a few customers are sitting at their tables, quietly working on an assignment or studying for their own midterms.

As usual, a cup of matcha latte is pushed into your hands. It's the same old drink, but this time, it's over ice instead of steaming hot.

“New recipe?” you ask, looking at Jinx, who is brewing coffee.

“Trying something new,” she calls back, focusing on the coffee machine in front of her. “You like it?”

You stare at the ice floating around the top of the drink, then take another sip. “It's fine.”

It's more than fine. It's good. The ice makes it a hell of a lot more refreshing.

Jinx glances at you over her shoulder. “Just fine, huh?” she responds, raising her eyebrow at you.

“Yes,” you answer. “Fine.” Delicious

She goes back to messing with the coffee machine, leaving you to stare at the back of her head.

You continue sipping on the latte, savoring the cool drink. It's an improvement over the usual steaming hot drink. The ice makes the flavors blend differently than it usually does, and it's much more tolerable than the hot version.

Delicious. The word echoes in your brain again, but you ignore it, staring into your cup.

Then your eyes wander towards Jinx's position behind the counter.

Her hair tied up in two braids as she fiddles with the coffee machine. Sometimes, her hair will escape the confinement of the hair ties, and it will dangle about her face. She pauses to pull back a strand of loose hair, tucking it behind her ear. Her attention doesn't deviate from her task, not noticing your gaze following her movements.

Your gaze drifts back to your cup. It's getting low. A few ice cubes remain, still bobbing in the liquid.

You take another sip of the latte.

Just fine. Not delicious.

Maybe it's a bit delicious. A little delicious. Delicious is such a funny word. An odd word. Is it possible to be half-delicious?

You lick your lips, tasting the remains of the ice-cold matcha latte, and glance back at Jinx.

Damn it. Delicious.

—

A month has passed, and you can tell Jinx has improved. Maybe even... good?

Good enough that she's stopped yelling, stopped breaking, stopped accidentally pouring coffee on the customer's shirt. Good enough that the customer is now enjoying their coffee instead of screaming at her. Even Jayce seems pleased, no longer concerned that Jinx would set the coffee machine on fire.

You set a cup down and look over at Jinx, who is standing by the coffee machine. She's working on latte art and actually managing to do a good job.

You watch as she pulls the milk wand away from the foam, leaving behind a decent… is that a heart?

It's just a simple heart, nothing extravagant, but definitely better than all the blobs she'd been trying to pass as latte art weeks ago.

“Not bad,” you comment.

Jinx jumps, nearly causing the matcha to spill over the rim. “Holy fuck,” she hisses. “Warn me next time you sneak up on me like that.”

“I didn't sneak up on you,” you reply, raising an eyebrow. “I was standing next to you the entire time.”

“And you still managed to startle me.”

“I did it on purpose,” you answer, smirking. “Just to see you jump.”

She flips you off and turns her attention back to the drink in front of her. “Ass.”

You grab a rag and clean the countertop. “A heart, huh? Trying to impress someone?”

She shrugs. “Maybe I am.”

You lean against the counter, watching her work on the drink. “Who's this lucky person?”

She hums without taking her eyes off the drink. “None of your business.”

“So there is someone?”

She glances at you out of the corner of her eye, and then she shrugs. “Maybe.”

There is absolutely someone. “Is it someone I know?” you press on, curious.

“Yes.”

You're not sure how to feel about that. On one hand... well, you're curious about who the hell this person is. On the other hand... you feel... jealous?

No, not jealous. More like... annoyed. Yeah… Annoyed.

Your hands grip the rag tighter. “Is it someone I know well?” 

She pauses, her gaze flickering to you for a moment, before looking back at the drink. “Yes.”

Annoyance continues to simmer inside… strange. 

Why does this annoying feeling keep poking and buzzing at your brain? maybe because you had someone in mind? someone who you wish she was talking about? or maybe it was just curiosity getting the better of you.

You try to shrug off the annoyance, continuing to clean the countertop.

“What do you think?” she asks, staring at the matcha latte art.

“I already told you it doesn't look bad,” you reply, still scrubbing at the counter. “You're getting better.”

“I'm always getting better,” she says, “You can taste it if you want.” She turns the drink towards you, holding it out.

You reach over and take the cup from her, your hands brushing against hers. She looks down to look at your fingers for a moment before returning to your face.

You bring the cup up to your lips and take a sip. The moment the liquid touches your tongue, it's as if all the annoyance evaporates. The drink she makes is always delicious. You manage to swallow before the noise threatens to escape from your throat. “Thanks,” you say, lowering the cup.

She just hums, staring at your lips. “You've got…” she begins, pausing to reach out.

She uses her thumb to gently brush away the remaining foam on your upper lip. Her touch is warm and soft, and you instinctively lean into the touch. Her lips are parted a bit, and you can see her teeth slightly biting into the bottom lip. 

“Foam,” she finishes, pulling back her hand. “All gone.” She wipes her finger on her apron.

You can't explain the heat that crawls up your neck. “Thanks.”

She smiles a little, a strangely satisfied gleam in her eyes. “...no problem.”

She continues to stare at you, studying your face. You're not sure why you're so stuck on just staring at each other without talking, but it's like neither of you has anything to say.

It's almost awkward. But not exactly. Awkward would require you to be uncomfortable.

You're not uncomfortable with her eyes on you. It's kind of… comfortable. Like some kind of strange comfort. The kind you get after spending too much time around someone. And you've been around Jinx a lot these past few weeks.

Jinx is the first to break the eye contact by looking away. She clears her throat, staring at the coffee machine next to her. “I'm gonna... make some more coffee…” she mumbles.

And then she just turns and walks away.

You're left standing there, clutching the cup of matcha latte in your hands and staring at the back of Jinx's head as she begins brewing more coffee in the machine.

You're struck with the oddest of desires. You want to go over there, stand next to her, and stare at her face. You want...

You quickly stop yourself.

Why in the hell are you thinking like this? It's a ridiculous thought, that's what it is. You just need some sleep. All this damn thinking isn't going to help anything.

For the rest of your shift, you do your best to avoid looking at Jinx. Unfortunately, you keep finding yourself looking at her anyway.

—

“Are you gonna help me out, or you're gonna stare at your phone the whole time?” Jinx calls out, breaking your concentration.

You look up from the screen of your phone, then realize you've been scrolling aimlessly for the past ten minutes.

“Ohhh… yeahhhh right.” You set the phone on the counter next to hers. “Sorry,” you apologize, beginning to help her with the remaining closing tasks.

The café closing hours are always calm and relaxing. Usually, Jayce is there helping, chatting to you and Jinx. But tonight, Jayce is out doing something important, leaving just you and Jinx to close the café.

This isn't the first time. The two of you have closed the cafe together on several occasions.

You grab a towel and begin wiping down the tables and chairs, making sure to leave the café spotless for tomorrow. Jinx sweeps around the floor, humming something as she works.

When you're both finished cleaning, you and Jinx move to the last step of closing.

You start by putting up the chairs on the tables, stacking them neatly around so they don't collect any dust overnight. Jinx helps as well, putting up her share of chairs, then begins straightening up the chairs as you finish with yours.

Soon, all the chairs are organized on top of the tables, and the café is as tidy as a mouse's ass.

You walk over behind the counter and grab the boxes full of new cups from a low shelf. “Can you help me with this?” you ask, lifting the box and nodding at the other one.

She comes over and helps you, carrying it into the storage room. You trail after her, watching her as she places the box gently on top of the other boxes.

The storage room is a small room connected to the cafe, used to store supplies. The walls, made of concrete, are painted yellow. Inside, the room is tidy, neat, and somewhat small. The floor and walls are covered with several industrial metal racks, stacked with boxes of supplies. A single light bulb hangs from the center of the ceiling, illuminating the room.

You pause and set your box down as well, glancing at her as she dusts off her hands. “I swear, Jayce is way too paranoid about restocking,” she says, glancing around.

You nod. “He's definitely got a bit of a hoarding problem.”

“He'll probably start to fill up the back next.”

“And then he's gonna fill the manager's office.”

“And the bathroom.” She snickers, looking over the boxes. “I swear to god, he needs a damn therapist for this obsession.”

You share a laugh and turn towards the door, Jinx following behind you.

“Well, guess everything is in order-” you start to say, but pause when you turn the doorknob and find that it's locked. You frown and try pulling the knob again, harder this time. It still doesn't budge.

“What the hell?” Jinx comes up beside you and grabs the knob, rattling it a few times. She stops after a few seconds and tries again, but still no luck. “Fuck!” she exclaims, tugging the knob. “Why won't this stupid thing open?!”

“It's damn well jammed.” You kick the door, which does absolutely nothing.

“That's... not good,” Jinx mutters. “I guess this is one of the cons of having a paranoid boss.”

There are no windows into this room, and Jayce won't be back until tomorrow. The only way out is through the door, and it's clearly not budging.

“Looks like we're trapped,” you deadpan.

She swears again, staring at the door. “Of-fucking-course.”

“Guess we're stuck here until tomorrow.”

She grunts. “Great, just great. What are we going to do—wait, do you have your phone?”

“I do, but…” You search your pockets, realization dawning. “I think I left it on the counter.”

She pats her pockets too, and her face falls. “Ugh, same.”

There's a beat of silence as you both process this new information… you're screwed.

Jinx slides down the wall until she's sitting on the cold concrete. Her eyes glance at the other boxes, then back to you. “Are you just going to stand there?”

You sigh and slowly lower yourself next to her. “Guess not.”

“This sucks,” she grumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest.

You look at the storage room around you. There's not much in the storage room. It's all supplies—cups, espresso beans, various syrups, milk-

Oh, milk.

“At least we have food,” you say, pointing at the several cartons of milk stacked on one shelf.

Jinx glances at the milk and scoffs. “Yeah, if we plan on having heart disease. We'll be dead before anyone remembers we're locked in here.”

“Can't you just be a tad... optimistic?” you mutter. “Like you usually are?”

“I'm only optimistic when I'm caffeinated. Now I'm tired and miserable.”

The two of you go back to sitting in silence.

You take a quick glance around the storage room again, noting how bare it is. It's cold in here. No carpet or insulation. Just two people, three days' worth of food, and an uncomfortable concrete floor.

Jinx looks up at the ceiling, probably wondering if this is how her life ends.

“Stop sulking,” you say.

“I'm not sulking.”

“Yes, you are. You can stop being gloom and doom now, it's not that bad.”

“Oh yeah? it's not that bad? we're literally stuck in an empty storage room with nothing to do. Not to mention this floor is cold and uncomfortable-”

“Then sit closer. It'll be warmer,” you interrupt her rant. The moment the words escape your mouth, you realize how it could be interpreted.

You clear your throat awkwardly. No, it's not that bad. It's not... intimate or anything. You're not, y'know, trying to be close. It's just practical. Yes. Practical.

Her gaze flicks to the ground between you, and she shuffles closer, sighing. You watch silently as she scoots over, closer and closer, until your shoulders are touching.

Neither of you speaks for a few moments, both of you focusing on the door in front of you.

“Do you think ghosts are real?” she asks suddenly.

You turn your head to look at her. “Yeah, I think there's someone watching us in that corner.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, really.” You gesture to the darkest corner. “I think I just saw something move.”

She turns her head, staring at the far corner of the storage room. “Really?”

“Yep.”

Both of you stare at the corner for a few seconds. Nothing happens. The corner is completely still. Not a single speck of dust is moving.

She huffs and turns to glare at you. “I hate you.”

You huff in return. “The hell did I do?”

“You're trying to scare me.”

“Maybe I am.”

“If a goddamn ghost really is watching us-”

You cut her off. “What exactly are you worried about?”

“I- I don't know,” she stammers indignantly, “I just—ugh, whatever.”

“I mean, it's not like they'll do anything.”

She gives you a dubious look. “I bet they're already judging me.”

You grin at the thought. “Oh, definitely. I can feel them judging you right now.” You gesture at the dark corner again. “See that? that's Jessica.”

“Jessica?” she repeats.

“Yes, Jessica,” you say with a grin. “She died here and has been here a long time, waiting for the next victim.”

She eyes the corner again, narrowing her eyes. “I can't see anything. Not sure if the ghost is real.”

“She's real, alright. Watch this.” You point at the corner. “Jessica, give her a jumpscare.”

She looks back and forth at the corner, then back at you. “What-” She's cut off when you suddenly poke her side. “AHK-” she yells, jerking away from you. “You-!”

You grin at her. “See? Told you Jessica's real.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” she accuses, shoving you in the chest. “I hate you, you are the worst, motherfucker-”

“Jessica said you should watch your language.”

She swivels her gaze back to the corner. “Jessica can go suck my dic-”

“Jessica said you shouldn't talk to the dead that way.”

She gives you another indignant glare. “Jessica can eat my ass.”

“Ohhhhh, Jessica didn't like that.”

She looks at the corner again, trying to look intimidating. “Jessica, I don't like you.”

“Jessica said she's heartbroken.”

Jinx tries to kick your leg, but you dodge playfully. “Jessica's a damn liar.”

“Maybe Jessica should haunt you for the rest of your life,” you say, still grinning.

She scoffs, turning to look at you. “I bet it's worse to get haunted by a ghost than see a dead body,” she mutters, coughing.

Her words catch you off guard, and you look away, suddenly feeling guilty about joking with her. “Yeah.” You try to think of anything else to say. “Um. Sorry.”

She shrugs. “It's fine. It's just a stupid joke.”

Silence falls between you again, and you stare at the ground, not knowing what to say.

“What if…” you start after an awkward silence, “What if you're being haunted by someone you like forever… I mean, would it be better to get haunted by someone you like instead of… you know, someone you hate.”

She hesitates, looking at nothing in particular. “Uh... probably... yeah.”

“Yeah?” you repeat. “And who would you want to be haunted by?”

“No one,” she quickly replies. “I mean, it's not like I want to get haunted, I just think it would be better if I did.”

There's a beat of silence as the two of you sit, listening to the nothingness of the storage room.

“What if I haunted you?” she asks.

“You?”

Her eyes whip over to you. “Yeah, me.”

“You want to haunt me?”

“Why not?” she responds. “If I had to haunt someone, why wouldn't I pick you?”

You blink. “Why would you pick me?”

“Is a good reason really needed?” she asks, looking away from you. “Maybe I just want to be around you.” She says it nonchalantly, as if she's stating a fact.

A fact that makes no sense to you. Why would she want to stay with you? “That makes literally no sense.”

She shrugs, her knees bumping against yours. “Does it need to make sense?”

“Yes.”

“Why does it need to make sense?”

“Because-” you stumble over your words. “Because you don't get to just say things and expect me to understand-”

“Bullshit.” A retort is on the tip of your tongue, but she cuts you off again before you can respond. “Just answer this.”

“Answer what?”

She stares at you intently, eyes narrowed. “If I said I wanted to stay with you all the time, would that make sense to you?”

“Well, yeah. That makes sense. You already hang around me-”

“No, not just when we work. I mean-” she stops, staring at the floor in an attempt to avoid your gaze. “I want to… be with you.”

“You're already with me,” you say. “We're literally stuck in a storage room together.”

Jinx sighs exasperatedly. “No, I mean, I want to always be with you.” There's a pause. “And… if that means haunting you, then I'd want to haunt you.”

Your brain stops. What? She wants to be with you all the time? As in... always?

...

The floor is suddenly very interesting. You stare at the concrete, trying to process the words that just escaped her mouth.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Your voice is too fast. “Why would you want-”

“Because I enjoy your company,” she interrupts you quickly, “and you probably wouldn't mind if I was around.” She stares at her fingernails, avoiding your eyes. “I'm just saying,” she continues, “It'd be pretty nice. Spending eternity with you.”

Something in your chest tightens at those words.

Spend eternity with you.

It dawns on you that you're feeling something that you haven't experienced before. Or maybe you've felt it before, on rare occasions. The feeling of your heart beating too fast, for no reason.

Your eyes dart to your hand, lying on your right leg. Her knee brushes against yours again. You look away from your legs and stare at her face.

She's still staring down at her fingers.

In the dim light of the storage room, her face is almost glowing… she looks beautiful. How can someone look so perfect, even when talking about such disturbing things?

Huh. It's strange. Someone who looks so beautiful, talking about something so disturbing.

She tucks a strand of blue hair behind her ear, eyes not lifting from her fingers.

You feel the urge to touch her.

Not in a weird way. But to feel the smoothness of her skin on your hand. To feel her hair run through your fingers. To… you don't know. Just feel her.

“Why-” you start, your voice too loud. You stop talking. Why are you trying to say something?

She glances up and stares back at you. “Hmm?”

“Why me? I mean... there are a lot of people in this shitty city or shitty world, so why would you like to stay with me?”

She looks at you and pauses for a moment. Her knee brushes against yours again, and she scoots closer, resting her head on your shoulder. “I don't care about the world. I just want you.” Her words are quiet, spoken only to you.

Everything in the storage room seems to disappear. The boxes that surround you have disappeared. Everything melts away, except for the girl, resting her head on your shoulder, and the words that she speaks to you. Just the two of you, in a room of shadows.

“You wouldn't mind, do you?” Her words rip you out of your thoughts.

“Mind what?” you respond stupidly.

“Spending an eternity with me.” 

You lick your lips again, but your mouth is completely dry. Your throat is dry too. Your brain is going stupid.

You aren't sure why. It's just... the implication of her words. Of eternity with Jinx.

With the woman who made a shitty job… less shitty. With the woman who somehow made you look forward to the drink that you hated so much, all because she makes it differently. With the woman who taught you that there are some things, even disliked things, that can grow on you.

You realize you're smiling and quickly attempt to return a neutral expression.

You glance down at her head, right below your chin.

You imagine living with her constantly. Stuck with her. For eternity.

It would drive any sane person mad.

You aren't a sane person.

“I wouldn't mind... spending an eternity with you,” you hear yourself saying.

You can feel her smile even though you can't see it. She shifts on the floor, and suddenly her hand is sliding across the space between you. Her fingers are brushing against your arm, slowly creeping down as if to find yours.

“That's good,” she murmurs.

Her hand finally finds yours, she stops for a second, and then she slowly intertwines your fingers together.

You move your thumb across her knuckles, tracing the lines and veins. You'd thought about holding her hand once before. You'd never thought that it would make breathing so much more difficult.

Her thumb starts doing the same, tracing over your knuckles.

You glance at her hand, interlocked with yours. You stare at the bandages as Jinx continues to trace over your veins, the pads of her fingers soft and delicate as they brush against your skin.

Her hand is so gentle and yet also so rough at the same time. Rough, because you can feel the callouses, the slight scrapes across her knuckles. Gentle, because even with her rough skin, her hand still touches you so softly.

What would it be like, being with her forever? Always.

Would the moments like this become mundane? would it get old? holding her hand and sitting in a storage room, talking with her?

She pulls her head away from your shoulder and looks fully at you.

You notice how close she is. You could easily reach out and touch the strands of hair that fall over her forehead. Her eyes are dilated, looking at you with what can only be affection.

You realize how easy it would be to kiss her.

“I wouldn't mind it either,” she says.

Her eyelashes flutter, and her gaze darts to your lips. You feel a heat grow in your chest, and your own eyes drift to her lips, slightly parted.

You aren't sure who leans in, but one of you is shifting forward.

She swallows, and her tongue flicks out to wet her own lips. You find yourself unconsciously copying their movement, licking your bottom lip.

You think about how her lips would feel. Soft? Warm? What would it taste like-

And then she turns her head away from you and back into the corner, clearing her throat awkwardly. You clear your throat as well, trying to think of something else to focus on.

Anything but how close her lips were to yours.

She squeezes your hand briefly before letting go, and the loss of her touch leaves a cold feeling on your skin. “Uh-” her voice is slightly hoarse, “is Jessica still there?”

—

The next few days went by in a dull routine, one that you quickly fell back into. Wake up. Go to class. Study. Work. Classwork. Get some sleep.

It was just like the rest of any normal week, except one thing had changed.

Jinx.

Or rather, the lack of Jinx. 

She hadn't shown up to work. You didn't know why, but the fact that you arrived at work and she wasn't there to hand you a matcha latte was definitely... odd.

You had gotten used to the smell of her matcha assaulting you the minute you stepped into work, to the point where the smell of coffee beans seemed unusually bland.

And now there was just coffee.

Even the matcha latte you had made yourself didn't taste the same. You're not sure why you had decided to make yourself a matcha latte.

It's stupid to do. You hate matcha, you've always hated it.

Too bitter. And yet...

No amount of sugar can seem to make it sweet, like Jinx somehow does. Nothing seemed to taste the same without her. Matcha, bitter. Coffee, bland. Café, boring.

Everything had suddenly, and quite inexplicably, felt wrong… like…

The sugar in the cabinet was suddenly moved to a new place, and you couldn't remember where the hell it was now because it wasn't where it was before. Or an apocalypse, but instead of surviving a nuclear blast or zombies, you now had to survive the absence of someone you didn't quite know you had begun to depend on so much.

You look at the clock. Only four hours left of this shift. Only four hours.

—

“Oh, did you not hear? Jinx is sick,” Jayce says. “She called saying she was sick, probably not coming in for a week or so.”

“Sick?” you echo.

“Yeah, she didn't sound too good.” He shakes his head as he continues making coffee. 

“When did she call?” 

He pauses what he's doing. “Uh... about a couple days ago.”

She called in over a couple days ago, and you're only being told now. “Couple days…” you repeat, just to clarify. “Why are you just telling me now?”

“I thought you knew?”

“No, I didn't.”

Jayce looks mildly annoyed as he finishes up a customer's order. “She told me she talked to you about it.”

“She talked to me? When?”

“Are you telling me she didn't talk to you?”

“She didn't. Not one word.”

He finishes the order and hands the coffee to a customer. “That's weird. You guys are close, I thought she would've told you that she was sick.”

Close. That's the word that sticks in your head when he says it. Close enough where she would've told you something as big as not being able to come to work for a week. Right? but she didn't tell you anything.

“She didn't tell me anything,” you say.

He scratches his chin. “Maybe she forgot to tell you?”

“Maybe.” Maybe. 

Or maybe she was avoiding you. Maybe she just didn't want to talk to you. Maybe she suddenly had an epiphany about how you were close. Maybe she just didn't want to be close anymore. Maybe she got scared and regretted it.

But that makes no sense.

If she regretted it, why would she have held your hand so tightly? why would she have said that you were the person she wanted to spend an eternity with? why would she say it like it was something she had thought about for a while?

“Maybe you should go check up on her?” Jayce suggests, shaking his head like he can sense your train of thought going off the rails.

“Check up on her?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, she might appreciate some company. Someone to look after her while she's sick.”

“I'm not sure if-,” you begin, but you're cut off by Jayce.

“Come on, it'd be nice for her,” he urges. “She doesn't have anyone else around to check up on her.”

You remember her telling you that her last family was killed when she was a kid, and she lives alone. She also mentioned that her sister is in prison.

Yeah, maybe you should go check on her.

After all, why wouldn't you? it would be a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You cared enough about her to go see how she was doing.

You care about her, so it only makes sense to go check on her. “Yeah,” you say, “I'll go see her.”

“Alright. I can handle the rest of the shift if you want to go.”

—

The entire commute there is a test of your sanity.

It takes nearly two hours to finally reach her address, the commute filled with cramped subway trains and waiting in pouring rain for buses to show up. Your hair is wet and sticking to your face.

Carrying a bag of the matcha sweets she liked was easy enough, but the latte was a little more difficult. It kept sloshing in the cup and threatening to spill over the edge with every step you took. Still, you managed not to dump the drink all over yourself.

By the time you finally arrived at her apartment, all you wanted to do was collapse in a chair and take a nap for the rest of the year.

And it was only 4:35 in the afternoon.

You look at the piece of scrap paper that Jayce gave you with Jinx's address on it. Fifth floor, room 505.

With a weary groan, you take the stairs. The elevator is broken, and there's no way in hell you're taking that janky elevator. You feel like it might just get stuck halfway and drop you to your death.

When you reach her floor, you're pretty sure you're ready to die. You walk around the hall and look at the first few doors.

500... 501... 502… 503... 504...

You pass a group of teenagers who walk past you with their phones out, shouting at the top of their lungs and shoving each other around. A baby is crying in some apartment as you pass the door, and a dog is barking from behind another.

505.

You eye the door, taking a moment to catch your breath and try to straighten out your wet clothes. Here goes nothing.

You knock on the door. No answer at first. You knock again. Nothing.

You knock louder, hoping to get some kind of response. It's another solid minute of no answer, and you're getting increasingly annoyed. She's either asleep or-

The door suddenly opens.

“Yeah, who-” Jinx starts but then stops speaking entirely when she sees you. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

She's wearing a threadbare gray t-shirt that hangs off one of her shoulders and barely comes anywhere close to covering any of her thighs. She has a tissue shoved into her nose and dark circles around her eyes. Her hair is messy, unbrushed, and unkempt.

Is this really the same person who had been handing you daily lattes every day for two months?

“Well, that's a hell of a greeting,” you grumble, shifting your bag and the nearly spilled latte to your other hand.

She's looking at you like you've done something wrong. Actually, she's looking at you like she's trying to kill you with just a stare.

You hold up the bag. “Brought food.”

“You shouldn't be here,” she spits out before slamming the door shut.

…wow. That was a warm welcome.

All you wanted to do was give her food and check to see if she was ok. She was sick, alone, and she probably didn't have anything to eat. And she just slammed the door in your face?

Screw this. You turn around ready to leave but stop when you hear the door creak open.

“Hey.” You turn and look over your shoulder. The door is open, but only slightly. Jinx peeks her head out the door, glaring at you. “What kind of food?” she asks, pointing to the bag

Not the kind of apology you're hoping for, but you'll take it. “Matcha sweets and a latte that I made.”

“That actually sounds-” she cuts herself off and sniffles, “...alright.” She opens the door all the way and turns to go back into the apartment. “Come in or leave, but don't just stand there like an idiot.”

You scoff and step inside, cautiously shutting the door behind you.

The first thing you notice is the smell. It doesn't smell exactly like garbage, but it stinks of old clothes and day-old food. It's not quite disgusting, it's not quite nice, but it reeks. Like someone hasn't opened a window and aired out the apartment in a while.

The next thing you notice is how much everything there is. Clothes sprawled over the couch, cans of energy drinks strewn across the floor, boxes of takeout littering the kitchen counters.

“Make yourself at home,” she says sarcastically, kicking a pile of clothes out of the way so you can sit on the couch. She pulls a tissue out of her nose and tosses it onto the floor.

You tentatively take a seat on the couch, shifting the latte and bag to the coffee table. Your eyes dart around the room as Jinx continues to shove things off the couch and onto the floor.

The entire wall beside the couch is covered in papers... and notes... and equations. It looks like a bunch of chemical compounds and designs.

She doesn't seem to notice you staring at the wall as she collapses onto the other end of the couch.

There are a few diagrams of rockets and some drawings of the coffee shop. Drawings of her and her deceased family, her deceased friends, and a drawing of… 

Wait- 

Is that your face? 

A drawing of your face is taped to the wall, scribbled with notes around it. ‘Nice lips.’

“What the-” you start, tilting your head to get a better look.

Jinx looks at you, noticing where you're staring, then follows your line of sight. She immediately turns red. “Oh. Uh-” she stutters, sitting up. 

“Did you-” you try to ask.

“It's nothing,” she says quickly, jumping off the couch. She scrambles towards the wall, tearing off the drawing. “Just a—just a quick sketch, it means nothing.”

You're fairly sure it means something, but you don't get the chance to press her further as she rips the paper apart and throws it into the trash can, avoiding your gaze.

“Anyway-” she says, plopping back down on the couch, “-I bet the food's good, right?”

Food... right. That was the whole point of coming over in the first place. “Uh... yeah.”

You watch as she grabs the latte and takes a sip. “Ugh, this is too bitter.” She sets down the latte and pushes it away from her. “What'd you put in this? It tastes like dirt.”

“The same stuff I always put in it,” you respond, slightly annoyed at the insult to your latte making abilities.

She shrugs and picks up one of the matcha sweets instead, popping it in her mouth. “Might as well teach you how to make one when I'm back.”

You watch her chew the sweets, then pause, letting out a sniffle, then reach up to wipe her nose with the back of her hand.

She lets out a dry cough. “Why exactly are you here?” 

“Jayce told me you were sick,” you reply.

“I'm not—wait, Jayce told you that?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Why were you even listening to him?”

“Because I was worried about you.”

She looks at you for a moment, then turns to grab another tissue and shoves it into her nose. “I'm not sick... just busy.”

You pointedly look around. “Uh huh,” you grumble, “Doing what exactly?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff like-” you gesture to the entire mess. “-this?”

“It's my midterms, idiot.”

“So, no one's been cleaning up?” you ask, eyes darting around again in the apartment.

“I don't have time,” she complains, before letting out a deep cough and clutching her chest in pain. “I have more important things to do. Besides, do I look like I can clean when I can't even breathe through my damn nose right now?” Jinx sniffs, then reaches for another matcha sweet, her hair falling over her face.

You give her a sidelong glance. “You look like you're about to keel over.”

“Don't be dramatic.”

“I'm not,” you say, reaching out a hand to touch her forehead, checking for a fever.

She swats your hands away. “Don't touch me.”

You retract your hand. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. Why are you even here anyway? You don't have to worry about me.”

“I know I don't have to.”

“Then just go. I'm busy.”

You groan. “You're sick. You need, like, I don't know, someone to take care of you.”

“I'm fine-” she coughs again, “-I just need to-” Another dry cough, and she grabs another tissue. “I just need to-,” another cough, “-finish my midterm exam.”

“You need to rest.”

“I can't rest.”

“Why not?”

“Because I'm behind.”

“What's the exam?”

She pauses, then reluctantly gestures to the mess on the wall. “I'm trying to design something, and it requires a lot of diagrams and calculations.”

So that's what all those equations and numbers and notes are. But that doesn't explain why her apartment is such a wreck.

“And that's why you haven't cleaned up?” you ask.

She glares at you, tossing the used tissue. “How would you react if you had a deadline, and you were on the verge of throwing up?”

“I know you're stressed, but-”

“You don't know anything!” Jinx snaps all of a sudden, standing up and looking you dead in the face.

“Seriously, what's your problem?” you retort.

“My problem is that you're here when you shouldn't be-”

“I'm here because I was worried about you. You-”

She interrupts you again. “Well, you shouldn't be. I don't want your help.”

“You don't want my help,” you repeat slowly.

“You heard me.”

You bite your tongue and take a deep, slow breath. “Then…” you manage to choke out, “...whose help do you want?”

“Nobody's,” she mutters. “I don't need anyone's help. I've done just fine for years. I can do it myself.”

But you shouldn't have to. 

She continues as she walks towards her bedroom. “I'm sick and tired and trying to finish something that's due in a few days, and I don't need you to come barging in, trying to-” She stops, clutching her chest and coughing again.

“You should be resting and taking it easy-” you coax, standing.

“I would be resting and taking it easy if you weren't here.”

You freeze, feeling yourself grow cold. 

You know she's just cranky, that she's sick and upset that she's stuck like this, that her deadline is near, and that you're just the person who happens to be around.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “didn't know you wanted me gone.”

She opens her mouth, hesitating for a second, before nodding her head firmly. “I'm sick, and I need to finish some work. So just do me this one favor and get out.”

Her words are harsh, more harsh than you think you can handle.

But even more than the fact they were words of rejection and anger, what hurt was the feeling that those words were coming from the same woman who had, just days earlier, curled against you, told you that you were the one she wanted to spend an eternity with.

“Fine,” you say quietly, “If that's what you want.”

She looks at you, and you swear for a second you think you see her expression soften, but then she nods her head again. “Yeah, that's what I want.”

You glance around at the mess of diagrams and paperwork plastered on the walls, the trash littered everywhere, and the couch that looked like it hadn't been slept on in days. 

“I'll see you at work,” you say lamely, turning away and walking towards the door.

She doesn't say a word to stop you. You open the door, and you want her to say something to stop, a please, a wait, or anything, but nothing comes.

With one last glance back at her, you leave.

—

“That was…” Jayce starts, pausing. “Did she even listen to you?”

“She was more dead set on booting me out of there.”

He lets out a breath. “She's stubborn.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “And stupid as hell.”

“But she's unwell,” he continues.

“Doesn't give her an excuse to say that I shouldn't be there.”

“True.” He looks over at you. “You look upset.”

You scoff. “Of course I'm upset. I show up to see how my friend is feeling, and her immediate response is to kick me out. Like she doesn't want me anywhere near her.”

Jayce frowns. “Don't take it too personally. She's not trying to hurt you on purpose. I'm sure that once she's feeling better, she'll apologize.”

—

She did not, in fact, apologize.

It's been over a week since you entered her apartment, Jinx isn't sick anymore and isn't busy with midterms, she's back to how she usually was. She talks, she laughs, she jokes but never looks in your direction, no word, no greetings… and not once does she ever slide a cup of matcha in your direction like she used to.

Whenever she works with you, she keeps things strictly professional. Her hands never accidentally brush against yours, and she never stands closer than necessary.

You've tried giving her space, hoping she'd approach you when she was ready to talk it out. But the space never got filled.

It's like, in a single day, you went from being... almost something to nothing.

—

Jayce calls out your name from the counter as you wipe down the tables.

“What?” you call back, watching as Jayce walks over to you. 

He nods towards Jinx, who is currently chatting with a customer. “When are you going to talk to her?”

“When are you going to stop being so nosy?”

He snorts. “I want to help you two sort this out. She's too stubborn, and so are you.”

“She doesn't want to talk to me,” you reply.

“Because you both are too proud.”

“Or I just don't want to go chase after her when it's clear she doesn't want to talk to me.”

Jayce sighs. “Look, you're my friend, I want to help you work it out.”

“She doesn't want to talk, Jayce,” you say firmly. “I don't know how to fix this if she's ignoring me.”

“That's the point, you have to make her talk.”

You scoff. “Yeah, make a girl talk who probably wants me dead right now.”

“She doesn't want you dead. Do you think it's a coincidence that she makes a point to talk to all the other regulars?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

He lifts his shoulders. “I'm just saying, every time you're here, she tends to talk more to the customers, especially the male ones.”

“Are you saying she's flirting now?”

“No, I'm saying she's doing it for your attention.”

“Why would she be doing it for my attention? She made it pretty clear she doesn't want me around.”

He throws his arms up. “Because she wants you to get jealous. She wants you to react to it. She wants you to get mad and do something about it.”

“How would you know?”

“Maybe the fact that she's been glancing at you every five minutes for the past hour?”

“...she's not.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Stop saying that, I see her right-” and your sentence cuts off as your eyes flick over to where Jinx is, she's still talking to a customer.

The customer leans closer to her and says something that clearly makes her laugh. Her eyes dart in your direction as she laughs.

She's definitely looking at you. Jayce is right, she is looking at you. Her laughter dies at the same time her eyes lock on yours. She averts her gaze the moment she sees that you caught her.

“See?” Jayce says, “She keeps looking at you. She's doing it for your attention, not anyone else's.”

“Okay, so let's say she's doing it for my attention,” you continue. “What am I supposed to do about it? You said it yourself, she's stubborn.”

“You're going to have to do something that gets her attention. Make her upset, make her angry, make her do something. She won't talk unless you push her to.”

You stare at him. “Are you really implying what I think you're implying?”

He grins smugly. “That depends, what do you think I'm implying?”

“You're asking me to make her jealous.”

“I'm not asking you to do anything,” he retorts. “I'm suggesting you do it because it'll work. Do you want to continue like this, ignoring each other, for god knows how long? or do you want to get this sorted out?”

It sounds absurd. Ridiculous. Stupid. Immature. But if it makes her talk to you… “You really think it'll work?” you finally relent.

He grins knowingly. “Oh, it'll definitely work.”

—

It was a really stupid idea, especially coming from Jayce. But he was pretty adamant about it, and you were a bit too desperate.

You're trying your best to not scratch at the sleeve of this stupid shirt that Jayce forced you to wear. It's a dark blue long sleeve. Jayce claimed to have worn it on a ‘date,’ and it ‘worked’ with the person he was trying to date at the time. Now, you're the one wearing it.

“This is stupid.”

“No, it isn't,” Jayce insists from behind the counter. “It'll definitely work.”

“It's dumb.”

“Will you just do it?” he huffs. “She's going to be here soon.”

There's no way in hell this would work. It's just a shirt. There's no way that Jinx would-

The bell on the cafe door rings as it opens.

Jinx is walking through the door. She spots the counter where Jayce and you are, and she stops for a second.

She takes a look at you from head to toe, her gaze lingering longer on the dark blue shirt, and then she forcefully looks away from you and begins walking towards the break room where the lockers are.

Jayce elbows you in the side, nodding in her direction. “See? It's working-”

You elbow him back. “She just went to the break room, how is that working?”

“That was just the first step. Wait and see.”

—

You stand by the coffee machine, waiting for it to finish brewing a drink for a customer. Jinx is on the other side, making a different drink.

The machine's steam causes the sweat on your lower forearms to be sticky, causing the cloth to cling to your skin, and so you roll them up slightly, just above the elbow.

You make a point to not look at her, but you feel her attention fall onto your forearms, her eyes trailing down to the way your arms look, seeing the cloth of the shirt clinging from the sweat.

At the corner of your eye, you see her biting her lip, her breath hitching, and there's a subtle flush on her cheeks.

She looks away the second she realizes that you caught her staring at your arms, but it was enough for you to know that she was.

It's working. Damn it, it's actually working.

—

You feel her breath on the back of your neck as she reaches behind you for the coffee machine, her body just barely brushing against your back.

She quickly pulls away, going back to her end of the counter. “It's really hot in here,” she mumbles.

You nod, picking up a towel and wiping some sweat off your neck, lifting the collar of your shirt to wipe off your collarbone. “I know, the air conditioning really sucks.”

She stares at you, her eyes traveling down your neck to your collarbone. “It's hot in here…” she repeats. Then, she swallows and looks away with a cough, the steam from the machine giving a good excuse for the redness on her face. “Yeah, it really sucks.”

It goes on like that. Glances are stolen. Awkward touches are exchanged. The air seems to grow hotter every time you're near her.

You're surprised neither of you have passed out from heat exhaustion yet.

—

“Are you free this Friday..?” The customer in front of you asks.

You're well aware of the fact that Jinx is behind you. You can hear her moving around. “Uh, I-” you pause, trying to ignore the eyes that are boring into your skull. “Yeah. Why?”

“Do you have a…” she trails off and glances over your shoulder, “Girlfriend?”

Jayce coughs obnoxiously beside you as he wipes the countertop. You almost give him a look, but instead, you shake your head. “No, I'm single.”

There's a loud bang behind you. Jinx bumps something, and whatever it is clanks against the floor.

“Really?” she continues, her voice raising a tone. “A pretty girl like you doesn't have a girlfriend?”

Jayce says something under his breath, and you swear you hear a muttered “yet.”

You ignore him and respond to the customer. “Uh, you think I'm pretty?”

The customer looks you up and down, her eyes stopping just below your chest before slowly trailing down. “Yeah, you're pretty hot,” she replies as she leans forward, resting her hand on the counter and showing off way more skin than what most would consider decent.

“Ah, thank you,” you say politely, forcing your gaze to stay on the customer's face and not... anywhere else. “You're pretty yourself.”

There's another clang behind you.

The customer laughs and twirls a strand of her hair. “I bet you say that all the time.”

Jinx steps around you, almost brushing against your side.

“Not really,” you reply, keeping your eyes trained away from her. “I don't really-”

You're interrupted suddenly by Jinx, who is now standing directly beside you, grabbing something from the shelf. She leans in closer, her chest almost brushing against your arm as she grabs something.

It's the first time she's been so close to you in weeks.

She leans back, holding a container of matcha powder—the same one she always uses to make your latte—and she looks you in the eye. “You want your latte, right?” she asks you. She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

Yes. You miss her matcha latte so much. “No,” you force yourself to say, avoiding her eyes.

“Oh,” she says, she sounds surprised? “Really?” She looks down at the matcha powder, running a thumb over the label, and looks back up at you.

Don't look at her. “Yeah, I... I don't want one,” you lie.

“Are you sure? It's been a while since you had my matcha latte.”

You want one so much. You want her to smile and be carefree and make you a latte that will warm you down to the core, but- “I'm sure,” you lie again. “I'm good.”

“That's... that's a shame.”

“Yeah,” you reply, and you want to punch yourself because no, it's not a shame, it's a sin. You are an idiot. “Definitely a shame.”

She's just a few inches away, and all you want to do is reach out for her, take her into your arms, and make her look at you, but she looks at the matcha in her hands.

“Guess I wasted this then,” she mumbles before putting the container back and starting to take orders from the other customers.

“Idiot,” Jayce mutters, and you elbow him hard in the gut. He doubles over, clutching his stomach, and you turn back to the customer.

“Uh… anyway,” you say, then turn your attention back to the customer, forcing yourself to smile. “What were you saying?”

—

After a long shift, the café is finally empty, and the cleanup is done. You've mopped up the floors, put everything away, you're starting to get all nice and sweaty, and the break room has a much-needed air conditioner.

You open your locker and shoved your apron inside, sweat clinging to your shirt and making it cling to your skin. You grimace and reach down, trying to fix the collar of the shirt that feels tighter than normal.

Before you have a chance to readjust it, a glimpse of something in the locker catches your eye. You look down, and there, sitting in the center of your locker, is a cup of matcha latte.

You didn't put it there. Jayce didn't put it there either. So there is only one other person who could have put it there.

You pick up the cup, looking at the steaming drink. Well, you aren't going to drink it just to let it go to waste.

You immediately take a sip, feeling the warm, sweet taste of matcha on your tongue. It's been so long since you had this, and it's still the same taste as the ones she used to make for you when you two were in a... good place.

That was a long time ago now. Things are different now.

“So you do want one.”

A familiar voice makes you jump, causing you to almost spill the drink. You turn around to find the bluenette leaning against the doorframe to the break room.

“I made it for you, in case you wanted it,” she adds, entering the break room, then leaning one shoulder against the row of lockers. Jinx looks at your face, then your shirt. “You look sweaty.”

You want to say something, but your brain forgets how to function when she's looking you up and down.

“I like the shirt,” she comments, pointing at the shirt that is a little too tight around your shoulders. “It looks good. Fits you well.”

“It's not my shirt,” you reply, placing the cup down on a nearby table, hoping that she'll let that be the end of that. “Jayce gave it to me.”

“He did?” she asks, and you catch a subtle whiff of her favorite perfume. It makes you want to grab her and drown in it.

“Uh, yeah,” you mutter, pulling the collar of your shirt nervously.

She looks over to your nervous gesture, and her lips twitch. “You should loosen the collar,” she notes. “You're going to suffocate like that.”

Her comment gives you pause, and you try loosening the collar, but your sweaty hands can't get a grip. “Here.” 

She reaches up, her delicate fingers undo the first few buttons of your shirt, exposing your collarbones. Her fingers then pull the collar slightly, allowing your hot skin the cool touch of air.

“There,” she murmurs once the collar is loose. “That looks more comfortable.”

You manage to find enough sanity to nod, knowing that if you speak now, your voice will most likely crack. You expect her to pull back, but her fingers remain, trailing over your collar as though they just happened to land there.

Her eyes roaming over your neck before lifting to your face. Your eyes are caught on her as well, studying every movement of her face, the way her expression softens and her eyes drift over your features.

“...I'm sorry.”

The words finally bring your attention back. “What?” 

She pauses, biting her bottom lip. “I said I'm sorry,” she clarifies. “I... I shouldn't have snapped at you like that a week ago. Shouldn't have said what I said.”

“Then why did you?” you ask, eyes fixed on her lips.

Jinx seems to struggle with her next words, her hand finally dropping from your collar. “...I don't know how to handle things well,” she whispers, “I wasn't... I wasn't feeling well either. That's why I lost it. You showed up... when I wasn't in the right mind frame, and I said all these stupid things-”

She sighs and pushes some hair behind one of her ears. “I was stupid. I was stupid, and I said some awful things. Words I didn't mean and couldn't take back. Everything with my college work started to pile up, and I felt like I couldn't handle it. So you showed up and-” she swallows. “-I took it out on you… and then I just ignored you for a week.” She shifts from foot to foot. “I… I wasn't trying to avoid you. I just... I thought you'd be annoyed.”

“Annoyed because you were ignoring me?”

“No—yes—maybe—I don't know, alright?” she says hastily. “I just... I wasn't in the mindset to talk, ok? I was trying to figure things out.”

“You could’ve told me-”

“-I don't do so well when it comes to opening up about my feelings-” she stops, then shakes her head. “-I don't do so well with being honest with myself.”

You let out a breath. “I know... I know you don't, but that-”

“Stop,” she interrupts you, raising a hand. “Just... stop. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that I should work on being better instead of pushing you away.” She continues. “I know I do it. I know I'm bad at it, and I'm not good with my emotions. I know I'm not the best at saying how I feel. I know I should work on my communication.”

“Why don't you then?” you ask bluntly. “Why don't you do something about it? why can't you just try to deal with things instead of pushing me away and dealing with everything alone? why can't you just talk to me instead of bottling everything up?”

She closes her eyes, looking away. “I don't know,” she exhales, “I just... I don't know how.”

“You could start today,” you tell her, reaching out. Your fingers brush over the back of her hand.

Her eyes drop to where you touch her and linger.

“Right now,” you emphasize, “Just... try. You don't have to start working on all your emotions and feelings. Just say one thing. Tell me how you feel, right now.”

She shakes her head, refusing to look at you.

“Tell me one thing,” you insist, “Just one thing. Try.”

She sighs, as if you're the worst person in the world. Maybe you are. “Okay-” she starts and finally looks up, “If you're trying to make me spill out my feelings-”

“I am,” you confirm. “That’s exactly-”

“-Then maybe I should show you first-” she continues over you “-What I'm feeling.”

She suddenly reaches out and grabs the back of your neck, gripping it tight enough to pull you forward.

“Hey-” you stumble, hands instinctively wrapping around her waist, but any protests you might've had are smothered because her lips are suddenly on yours.

A week of ignoring each other, and suddenly she's kissing you.

Her lips are so soft. So soft and insistent, and when you don't respond because your brain is still trying to catch up, her teeth graze over your bottom lip, and it's this gesture that snaps you out of it.

You kiss her back, eyes finally closing, and lean in to meet her. Your fingers sink into the fabric of her shirt, and her arms wind around your neck. Her mouth parts, and you take the silent invitation, your tongue slipping in, exploring the inside of her mouth.

She tastes like the feeling when it's cold, and your teeth ache, and it feels like all warmth has left your body, but then you take a sip of your hot drink, and the burn of the drink goes down your throat, and you feel just the tiniest bit warmer. It's not enough, it isn't enough to make your fingers warm or the tip of your nose, but still, the small warmth you feel is better than none.

You want to bottle up this feeling, this taste, and store it in the back of your throat until, when you need it, you can just swallow and feel the warmth.

She hums, low in her throat, and it sounds like a moan. She pushes you forward until your back is met with the lockers, pinning your body between the hard surface and herself.

Her teeth graze your lip again, her tongue teases yours, and you shiver despite the warmth you feel. “I was stupid,” she mumbles against your mouth, “So, so stupid.”

You grunt out some sort of agreement because yes, she is stupid and yes, you're stupid and yes, you're both idiots for ignoring each other.

You feel her smile before she pulls herself away. “That,” she murmurs, breathless, “that was what I was feeling.”

You open your eyes to look at her, and notice her pink cheeks, half-lidded eyes, her swollen lips, and you fight down the urge to turn her around and just shove her back against the locker and kiss her senseless.

“Are-” you manage, breathing hard, trying to regain the words that have fled from your head, “Are all your emotions channeled through your mouth?”

“Maybe,” she says, eyes dropping to your lips. “Is there a problem with using my mouth?”

There are a lot of words you would like to say. Words relating to how her mouth has driven you crazy for a long time, that you've spent more time than you'd like to admit imagining what it would be like to kiss her and see that mouth do things other than talking.

Too bad, all those words are stuck in your throat. “No,” you grit out, “No... there's no problem.”

“Great,” she replies, then grins, leaning closer until your noses bump. “Then maybe my mouth has more things to show you.”

—

The usual routine of making matcha lattes continues, and the days slowly pass.

Each day, Jinx greets you with a smile and a cup of that disgustingly good matcha. You no longer try to argue with your taste buds. You have given up and accepted the matcha as a part of yourself. Now you drink the horrible drink willingly.

And your relationship with Jinx went from ‘maybe something’ to ‘maybe nothing’ to ‘definitely something.’ You're finally dating, which isn't to say that everything is magically all better. Jinx is still Jinx, and you're still you.

So not everything changes.

The cafe still looks the same, the customers still act the same, you still have to deal with shitty customers and traffic. But even through all the normal, unchanged things, there's one thing that's different.

Jinx is now in your life.

“Hey-” Jinx waves a hand in front of your face. “Are you listening to anything I'm saying?”

“Uh-” you blink, returning to reality. “...yeah,” you lie, giving a sheepish smile, “totally listening.”

She stares at you for a long, long moment, as if trying to determine if you're lying to her or not. Apparently, she thinks you're being truthful.

“Great, now pay attention.” She resumes her instructions, and you try your hardest to pay attention. Mostly. Maybe.

You watch as she grabs a glass bottle from the shelf above the coffee machine and pours a small amount of... something into her mug. “What's that?” you ask.

“Honey.”

“Yeah?”

“Honey,” she repeats, tilting the bottle for you to see. “Honey. Sweet, golden honey.”

Ah, that honey. “That's what I thought.” You nod, like that completely makes sense.

Jinx rolls her eyes but hands you the bottle so you can read the label for yourself.  “This,” she explains, “is what makes my matcha better.”

You look between the bottle and the mug of matcha before placing the honey back on the shelf.

She stirs the matcha and takes a sip, then gives you a smug look. “See? That's why it's better.”

The honey is almost as sweet as the way she's looking at you.

“Sweet,” is what you say instead of how you'd love nothing more than to taste it off her lips. 

She stares at you for a moment, and then she smirks. “Want to try it?” she asks, holding out the cup.

“Sure,” you answer. Why not?

You reach for the cup and lift it to your mouth. You take a small sip of the hot liquid, and… the matcha is sweet, and sweeter because it was in her mouth only moments ago.

“What do you think?” she asks as she takes the drink and sets it on the counter.

“Perfect,” you admit, licking your lips, trying to get rid of some of the sweetness.

She lifts up a hand, her thumb brushes against your lip, wiping away the remnants of the matcha. “You missed a bit.”

You want to grab her hand and-

She pulls her hand away from your mouth and then sucks off the same thumb that had lingered against you while staring at you directly in the eye. “Mhm… Tastes better this way.”

That's it. You'll drag her into the break room and kiss her until neither of you can breathe-

But, before you can do any of that, the cafe door chimes.

Customer, your brain reminds you. It's like getting pulled from a dream... right as it's getting good.

“Hey,” she whispers, “Let's continue this later, yeah?” 

That... sounds like a great idea. Amazing idea. Customer first. And then later.

—

The wind whips through both of your hairs as you pedal down the sidewalk. After putting in long hours and some very generous coffee tips, you've saved up enough to finally repair your bike.

Your ears pick up a familiar chuckle. “This is awesome!” she exclaims, “We're like birds, but cooler.”

Jinx's arms are wrapped around your waist, her legs pressed up beside your thighs, and you don't need to see her face to know that she's grinning.

You grip the handlebars tighter. “We're nothing like birds,” you reply, “Birds can actually fly.”

You feel the soft brush of her lips against the back of your shoulder. “But we're much cooler, right?” she counters.

Your retort dies in your throat as she presses her chin to your shoulder.

“Mmm, I'll take your silence as a yes,” she hums, her breath tickling your ear. She nuzzles her nose against the back of your neck. “You know, I don't think I've ever been this happy.”

“Ever?” you ask, focusing on the road in front of you. “Of all the years you've lived, you're the happiest now? when you're sitting on a bike, of all things?”

She pinches your waist, making you twitch slightly. “Well, if we're being honest, it's not the bike I'm happiest about,” she replies. “It's you that I'm happiest about.”

You roll your eyes to yourself. She's always so honest. You're grateful that she isn't in front of you, because your face feels unusually warm despite the breeze. “You like me that much?” you ask, half joking, half serious.

“Mmm,” she hums, “I like you a lot, actually. Like... a lot, lot.” Each word is emphasized with a light kiss to your shoulder.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yup,” she continues to pepper kisses on your back. “My favorite person in this whole, shitty city.”

“I'm honored,” you quip, trying to sound mocking, but the tone is ruined by the fact that you're smiling without realizing.

She snorts at your lame response against your shoulder, and you feel the brush of her fingertips underneath the hem of your shirt.

“You might be my favorite person too.”

“Only might?” She laughs. “You don't sound very certain.”

“Eh, it's a hard competition,” you reply, making a slow turn left, “There's lots of people in this city-” and you feel her pinch your side again. “But, yes, maybe you're my favorite.”

“Maybe?”

“Definitely,” you correct, feeling her hum against your back.

“Ah, there we go,” she says approvingly. “I knew you had great taste.”

Your smile is wide, and you have the urge to turn around and kiss her, but you're pretty sure that will result in a crash. “Oh, and how did you know?”

“I just had a feeling,” she murmurs, “I always had a feeling we'd end up like this.”

You focus on pedaling, your feet moving in a circular rhythm. “Did you just... know?”

“Yeah. I just knew.”

“You just... knew?” you repeat.

“Sometimes you just know when something is going to happen,” Jinx says. “It just makes sense. Like how the sun will rise every morning... or something.”

You pedal forward, the subway entrance comes into view. “Like the sun will rise every morning,” you repeat, “or something.”

She pauses, and the sound of the wind is the only thing that fills your ears. “Can I admit something?” she asks after a moment of calm silence.

Her voice is unusually serious, and it makes you frown, but you reply gently. “Yeah... always.”

She presses her forehead against your shoulder, her grip tightening around your waist, and you can hear her drawing in a deep, shaky breath.

“When I'm bored,” she whispers, and you can feel her hair brush up against your nape, “I sometimes think about you.”

She continues. “It sounds weird, but yeah. I don't think about you in a ‘sexual way’ that people do with crushes or anything like that. I just... want to be with your presence or see your smile or hear you laugh... or just sit with you.”

You blink, surprised by her words. 

“You make me feel better than anyone else can, and I've had to watch your ass almost every day when you're at the café.”

“That's my fault? you never had to watch my ass, that's a choice you made.”

She scoffs, pinching your side again. “Shhhhh, I'm having a moment here.”

You chuckle softly. “Right, sorry, sorry. Continue.”

“Thank you-” she huffs. “Anyway, I just…” Jinx pauses, her words coming to a stop, and you continue to pedal in silence.

“Sometimes, when I'm not happy or sad, I just... think about you. When I'm lonely and I need someone to say something... when I'm really angry and when I'm so tired of everything and everyone... I think about you. I don't understand why I feel that way. I know that it's not normal.” She hesitates, and you can feel her fingers tighten around your abdomen. “Because even though it's not normal, I don't think it's wrong. I just want to… have you by my side.”

Her words echo in your head, and you find yourself listening more intently than you thought you would.

She sucks in another breath. “I don't care what we're doing, I don't care what we talk about... I just want you to be around.” She presses another soft kiss to the back of your shoulder and buries her face in your shirt once again, mumbling, “I'm happy.”

You swallow, taking your left hand off the handlebar to place it over her hands. “I... I want to be around you too.”

She sighs in relief. “I'm a bit insane,” she whispers. “I'm not.. normal.”

“I don't care if you're not normal,” you reply quietly, your fingers brushing across her knuckles. “Who wants to be normal, anyway?”

She chuckles and kisses your shoulder, inhaling your scent.

You can see a glimpse of the subway station just ahead, the entrance of a tunnel on standby.

You pedal slowly, taking a few more seconds to enjoy the wind and the warmth of Jinx's behind, and then come to a stop in front of the subway entrance.

Her arms loosen their grip on your waist, and you feel the heat of her body leave your back as she hops off the seat. You swing your legs off of the bike and put down the kickstand before facing her.

Your eyes trail over to the tunnel, the sounds of the trains coming in and out of the subway filling the night sky.

“This is me.” She jerks a thumb towards the entrance.

You nod. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow. Work. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” you echo.

You can see people walking into the station in your peripheral vision, the world continuing to go on despite the standstill you're in. Your eyes don't leave her as you both hesitate, neither of you wanting to leave. You're both just standing awkwardly, looking at each other.

You can't help but look at her with fondness. She's not even doing anything, just standing in front of you, and you still think that she's the most beautiful person in the world.

You watch her smile in response, and you have the urge to reach out, wanting to pull her back into you.

“Guess I should…” her voice trails off, and she makes a gesture with her hand. “Subway time.”

“Yeah…” you say softly, “Subway time.”

She doesn't move, though. Neither of you do.

Her eyes flit between the tunnel and you, and she gnaws at her lower lip. “You should, uh…” she begins, “...go.”

“Yeah, I should…” You should. You know you should. You should pedal back to your apartment, maybe do some dishes, and go to bed. You have class tomorrow, and Jinx is going into the subway. 

But you take a step forward. She looks at the ground. “Are you... are you going to hug me?”

“Should I?”

She shrugs. “I don't know. Do you... want to?”

“I could be convinced.”

She rolls her eyes but smiles anyway. “Yeah? you could be convinced, huh? what would it take for you to agree then?”

You tap your chin with your index finger, pretending to think. It's not like you need to put much thought into it. “I don't know. A few hundred bucks? A fancy dinner? Maybe a yacht?”

She smacks your arm with a huff and a glare. “You aren't taking this seriously.”

“Oh-” you say, clutching the fake wound, “You're brutal. I'm wounded, I'm injured-”

She crosses her arms and gives you a deadpan look. With a laugh, you step forward and wrap your arms around her waist. Her arms immediately slide over your shoulders as she burrows herself into your neck.

You breathe in her scent, closing your eyes. Your chin rests on her shoulder comfortably, and you feel her fingers slide into your hair.

“Just one more second,” she whispers.

You nuzzle her neck in response, and her fingers tighten around the back of your head. Her breath ghosts against your ear, and you swallow, feeling the goosebumps rise on the back of your neck.

You could stay like this with her for an eternity. On the sidewalk in front of the subway entrance. You could take turns leaning on her shoulder.

But the world doesn't work like that, and your moment is being watched by a few strangers walking in the entrance. She pulls back just far enough to be able to look at you but still holds onto you. 

Her hands cup your cheeks, and you find yourself staring at each other for a few seconds, her face lit up by the orange glow of a nearby streetlamp.

She's looking at you, you're looking at her, and the world hasn't collapsed. Her eyes trail over every feature, and you wonder if she sees you the same way too—if she finds each piece of you as beautiful as you do of her.

She brushes her thumb lightly over your cheek and the corner of her lips twitches into a smile. Her smile widens as she looks at you, showing the slight gap between her two front teeth, and it's- it's… 

You blink, feeling your knees grow weak, you can almost hear the sound of wedding bells and wonder if you've just found the closest thing to heaven on earth.

She presses a light kiss to your nose. “See you, partner,” she murmurs. She takes hold of your chin with one hand and presses another kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“See you,” you repeat. You can't help but smile, a bit dumbly.

She stares at you for a second longer before finally letting go of your chin and stepping back. You try to memorize every detail of her as she walks backward. “Call me when you get home, 'kay?” she says.

You nod. “Okay”

She stops in the subway entrance and offers a small wave.

You wave back, but you keep waving even after she disappears into the tunnel. You keep waving, even after the last of her is gone, until you're just standing there like a fool, waving goodbye to the empty subway entrance. You realize just how dumb you look, waving to nothing, and finally drop your hand.

You tear your eyes away and stare at the bike that sits abandoned on the sidewalk, waiting for you. You finally pick up the kickstand and grab the handles, starting to pedal.

You think about tomorrow.

Tomorrow is when you're going to deal with shitty customers in the shitty city. 

Tomorrow is her smile as she hands you your cup, making your day before it even starts.

Tomorrow is drinking a matcha latte, a drink you used to hate, but now you look forward to it, because she makes it.

Tomorrow is her arm around your waist as you take her to the subway.

Tomorrow is her pulling away and saying, “See you, partner.”

Tomorrow with her… and it's almost as if, for the first time, you don't dread tomorrow.

[brittle-doughie]

A Sprinkling Reunion (First Sprinkle Cookie)

———————————————————————

You: “We have arrived!”

Gingerbrave: “Whoa, look at that!”

Strawberry Cookie: “It’s a giant circus tent!”

Gingerbright: “A circus sounds like so much fun! We should go and watch!”

Wizard Cookie: “With a crowd this big, there’s bound to be a Cookie who knows about the First Batch!”

You: “There’s no doubt about it. When there’s a First Cookie, there’s bound to be a Cookie of the First Batch nearby as well.”

Gingerbrave: “Well then, what are we waiting for!”

Cream Donut Cookie: “Welcome, welcome! The show is about to begin! The one and only, always hilarious and brilliantly entertaining First Sprinkle Cookie will perform an all-new act!”

Right in the middle of the announcement, Cream Donut had dropped his drumstick as it rolled away from him!

Cream Donut Cookie: “Oh no! My drumstick! Someone please grab that runaway drumstick for me!!!”

You: “Oh! I got it!”

You readied your hand to grab the drumstick rolling in your direction, only for a small Cookie to hurry at it and grab it!

Giggles: “HEEHEE!!! I’ll get it for ya, Cream Donut Cookie!

The little Cookie stood up to now notice you in front of them.

Giggles: “Oh hello, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Giggles!”

You: “It’s pleasant to meet ya, Giggles. I’m Y/N Cookie and you managed to grab that drumstick before I did.”

Giggles: “I did, didn’t it!”

You: “You did! Great job there!”

As the two of you conversed, the group noticed something familiar about the little Cookie.

Wizard Cookie: “Is it just me, or does that Cookie hear a striking resemblance to Gingerdozer?”

But there was barely time to speculate as the waiting crowd roared in applause and excitement. And when you stood up from the sudden cheering, you just found out why.

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Thank you, thank you! Just wait a bit and you’ll get to see a circus show filled with nothing but glee!”

Gingerbrave: “Looks like we found First Sprinkle Cookie!”

Strawberry Cookie: “Everyone seems to love her.”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “There you are, Giggles!”

The little Cookie giggled as they went to First Sprinkle Cookie.

Giggles: “First Sprinkle Cookie! Have ya met Y/N Cookie, they were really nice to meet!”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Y/N Cookie, you say? Well, I want to see this brand..new…face?”

Her smile falls when she makes direct eye contact with you, and just like with the previous Firsts, you felt shock course through your soul.

The cheering crowd falls quiet and the group were a little confused as to the sudden stop of the cherry vibes.

Gingerbrave: “Uh…they’re happy to see you?”

Wizard Cookie: “Those two don’t exactly look happy to see each other.”

You: “H-hello, First Sprinkle Cookie…”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Y/N…Cookie?”

She lets go of Giggle’s hand and slowly walked towards you, you have this urge to run, but you knew she’d catch you if you did. There was no need to make a bigger scene than it already was.

You: “I-I know we didn’t leave off on the best note last time, but I had hoped I could see you again just to say-“

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Don’t say another word.”

You shush up as First Sprinkle stops before you, scanning your look for a couple of moments, nothing but silence….

Until….

She started to smile again as she lets out a boisterous laugh!

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Why, today sure is a special day! We have another super-duper important guest with us today! Please give your applause to my…friend, Y/N Cookie!”

The tense atmosphere was finally broken as the crowd resumed their excitement and praise, thr Gingerbrave group left more baffled then before.

Strawberry Cookie: “What was..that?”

Wizard Cookie: “Whatever it was, it didn’t look good!”

Gingerbright: “Yeah, First Sprinkle Cookie looked conflicted with Y/N Cookie there!”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “And without further ado, let’s head on in!”

First Sprinkle grabbed your hand as she led you into the circus tent along with Giggles.

You: “W-wait! Hold on, I didn’t get to finish!”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Don’t worry one bit, we’ll have plenty time to chit-chat after the show! And I’m making sure you’re actually in the audience this time, hm?”

That..hit you like a punch in the stomach as she dragged you inside, having no reason to protest against her anymore as you let her do so.

Gingerbrave: “First Sprinkle Cookie! Wait a sec!”

First Sprinkle Cookie: “Teehee! No time to delay! Our show’s gonna be fun in the most thrilling of ways!”

The group followed after her, being left with more questions than answers.

Just what was the problem between you and her…?

———————————————————————

[hearts4mica]

Will memories bring you back?

Batsis x Batfam (Angst)

Masterlist

_________________________________________________

“Your friendgroup has been through a lot of problems lately. They decided it’s better that everyone parts their own way.”

_________________________________________________

You’ve had a friendgroup since middle school.

Your whole middle school you worked on it. It has been strong after lots of problems you’ve all been through but together you could all be happy.

Now you’re in highschool.

You and another member of the group changed school’s after graduating middle school.

Misinderstandings have been occuring lately. It’s getting more and more common this days.

When you’re at your new school you don’t feel that connection with your friends that you felt with your friendgroup before.

Everything is getting worse and worse.

_________________________________________________

It was a normal day. You were getting ready for school!

You had friends of course in your school of course. But none of them texted you after school. You felt so unimportant. But hey today you have theater class! Your friends there actually treat you like a friend to them. An equal.

The place where you usually did theater was occupied so you all decided to go to the park.

It was a hot day but no one cared.

You were in the swings trying to jump while you were high up. You ended up falling to the ground twice!

You went back home after that.

You were really tired, school has been pretty exhausting recently.

While scrolling through tiktok you find out your bestfriend is dating someone. You know that someone. She’s a girl from your friendgroup. They’ve liked eachother for quite a while so good for them. But why didn’t he tell you? I mean you tell him everything right?

You send him whatsapp audios daily while in school talking about anything that’s been going on in your life. And he didn’t even tell you about this.

_________________________________________________

I sent him a text message.

“Are you and Maya dating?”

sent.

Recieved.

Seen.

No answer.

At all.

Okay maybe he just forgot to answer?

No answer at all.

_________________________________________________

A few hours later you’re talking with a friend from your friendgroup.

“Hey i’ve been thinking sbout leaving the friendgroup.”

Oh.

“Why? Are you okay?” you text her. I mean yeah sure there’s been problems but you never thought that it would get to the point where she wanted to leave?

“There’s been alot of problems lately. Many misunderstandings, it’s just that a group that once was my safe place now is full of fights and all.”

You encouraged her to send a message in the groupchat to talk about. You’ll have her back always.

_________________________________________________

“The group should just separate it’s what’s better for all of us.”

Oh no.

“I love you all but it’s true. There’s been lots of fights between us.”

This is not going the way you wanted. At all.

You wanted to send a message.

Anything just anything that would help keep the frienship alive.

You can’t.

Why can’t you do anything useful?

_________________________________________________

You don’t type it.

You never do after all.

All you do is read the messages of people that once were the most important thing in your life.

You’re sad

_________________________________________________

You haven’t come out of your room since yesterday.

Your family is worried, are you okay?

Dick has been knocking on your door.

“Please babybird let’s talk about this! I’m sure whatever it is it can be fixed!”

You don’t answer. You feel stupid.

You shouldn’t feel this way.

It’s your fault.

Maybe if you wrote what you felt at that moment everything would be fixed now?

You’ll never know.

_________________________________________________

You finally let Dick come in. He would come in one way or another after all.

You cry. You hug him. You feel lots of emotions right now.

“I just don’t know why they decided to leave!”

“I thought everything was alright between us?-“

“Am i not enough?”

All those words echo through your mind, but for some reason you don’t let them out.

You just sob unconsolably in your big brother’s arms.

_________________________________________________

At night Damian knocks in your door. Soon later he comes in.

He hasn’t seen you for some days. It’s weird not having your ‘annoying’ big sibling around after all they usually do is ‘bother’ you.

You look like hell.

This is stupid after all it’s just a friendship

You’ve only known most of them since elementary school.

Damian doesn’t say anything he just sits beside you. He hopes that’s all you needed since he is not good at comforting people.

_________________________________________________

You’re laying down on the floor watching some photos of Valentine’s day 2023 you made a bouquet exchange. You were all happy in that photo. What changed?

Now Jason comes in.

He hugs you.

“Do i need to kill someone?”

“Jason! No!” Why would he even get that idea! Yeah you have not come out of your room for some days now but you don’t look that bad right?

He hands you some sweets and leaves shortly after.

_________________________________________________

You don’t interact with Tim alot since he is usually in his room and you’re out but now it’s the opposite.

Wow how life can change so quickly without notice.

A few days ago you would’ve laughed at him becuase now he is begging you to get up from your bed and atleast walk around the Manor.

A few days ago you would’ve begged him to walk around the Manor with you.

A few days ago you would’ve said that your friendgroup would last forever.

_________________________________________________

When everyone is patrolling you go to Alfred and vent to him.

He is the only person that understands you right now.

You may think it’s stupid to feel this sad about this but he reassures you it’s okay to feel sad.

_________________________________________________

“Please please let this be a horrible nightmare”

_________________________________________________

Author’s note!: “Hi this is my first time writing angst soo apologies if it’s not to good. I usually write happy stuff but right now i felt like writing something that i can connect to what im feeling right now.”

Anyways be sure to leave a comment, like and repost!

Requests are always open!

Masterlist!

[somethingnewarchive]

ASKS:

Disclaimer: There may be repeat links and asks. Any new asks I find will be added on. Stuff from superyoumna will be here as well.

How he got his name.

His birthday.

Where are the clothes from?

Do you sleep at all?

What’s your favorite food?

Can I hug you?

Tell me your secrets.

Why do you want a soul?

What do you do in your free time?

Do you have Gaster Blasters?

Do you speak Spanish?

How much LV does he have?

Do you miss Frisk?

Where is Chara?

Is Chara talking to him?

Terrifying face.

What do you feel when killing, Killer?

What do you like most about killing?

What does it feel like, killing everything you see? Don’t you get tired?

How does it feel to work with the Bad Sanses?

Aren’t you tired of everything?

Don’t you like stars?

Do you like anyone?

How do you feel? (After the Stage 4 comic.)

What do you think of Nightmare?

What about Fresh?

What about Error?

What other Sanses do you know?

How much do you know?

Multiple personalities.

Nightmare. (After leaving Nightmare.)

..aren’t you the one who made Killer!Sans?

Does Killer have or will have any place in Underverse?

How did you get the idea of Killer!Sans?

What’s Killer’s story?

Is Killer insane?

Why did he accept Chara’s deal to kill everyone together?

Everything is canon.

How did Killer get that black sludge on his sweater?

Skipped Killer’s battle with Undyne.

Killer vs Swap is just a side comic.

Where can I find Killer’s story?

How tall is Killer?

What is that stuff coming out of Killer’s eyes?

Has Killer ever been to Outertale?

Killer’s reaction to losing a limb.

Is there an ending to Killer’s story or is it up to interpretation? (Think this was made before the Something New Happened comic/Good Ending with Color).

So Killer is good now? What will he do with his new life, free from Nightmare?

Killer, why are you so mean to Swap? (tw: strangling, abuse.)

How did Nightmare find Killer’s AT if he has no negative feelings?

Nice new outfit! Is it comfy for..you know, killing?

Is Killer a friend of Chara?

Where did you get your inspiration/idea for making Killer?

Is Colorkiller canon?

Killer, you’re so cool. Just like your creator!

What’s Killer’s ship rn?

Killer, could you die and never come back, please?

Will I be your friend if I give you ketchup?

Killer doesn’t care about ships.

Did Killer kidnap Blueberry?

Killer x Color?

What do you think of Cross?

What do you think about Cross?

Do you know Cross?

Did Cross do something wrong or is it the X Event?

And how about your creator? You like her?

Greetings.

Does your eye glow?

Do you have any favorite foods or dislikes?

You could never be good. What about all the monsters you killed?

Who is your best friend?

Killer makes Swap eat Nice Cream off the floor. (TW: abuse.)

Is Killer the one from the present, or is he from before he was rescued by Color?

Who said I’m a good guy?

Then are you a bad guy?

What if..it’s all lies?

Do you like anyone?

Do you prefer chocolate or ketchup?

Killer likes cats.

Is Killer good now? There are multiple timelines.

Dust, Horror, Hell & Killer make dust angels.

Thanks.

What is the black thing that flows from Killer’s eyes?

Ref sheet.

Killer’s reaction to a cat sitting on him.

Is it okay to ship Killer? Yes, he’s a very romantic guy.

So Killer wants to feel stuff, but he can’t. Why does he kill if he knows it’s pointless?

Who should we crackship Killer with?

Should Killer get a new name since he is not a killer anymore? Maybe Noka? (Not Killer Anymore)

I don’t know why, but I feel kind of bad for Nightmare.

Will rahaf ever make a remake?

Is platonic colorkiller canon?

Can I use color & killer for an askblog colorkiller?

Draw killer & color as Finn & Jake.

Does rahaf ship Colorkiller?

Why is Color, out of all people, Killer’s dearest friend?

Is it okay to make merch of Killer?

Can people do commissions of Killer?

Is there any ship with Killer that bothers you?

Do you ship Killer x Murder?

[takaraphoenix]

I'd love to add onto that list, since this is my favorite flavor of Steter! 💜

Care for Me, As I've Never Known by lavenderlotion

“Why...why did you offer me the bite?” Stiles asked quietly, the cover of night and the hum of the Jeep’s engine giving him courage he wouldn’t usually have. Peter hummed thoughtfully, taking a turn smoothly. “That is quite the question you’re asking. I’m not sure the answer is one you would be happy to hear.”

Inside I'm Screaming (Make Me Real) by Therapeutic_Steter

anonymous asked: how about: after the kanima attack stiles decides he's over being undervalued and not cared for by scott and peter comes and cares for him, and stiles ends up joining dereks pack.

Vengeance Looks Good On You, Sweetheart by cywscross

Just because Scott refuses to see the Argents for what they truly are - prejudiced serial killers sitting proudly on a mountain of innocent corpses - doesn't mean Stiles will. It's about time someone did something about the Argent Empire anyway, and what a coincidence - summer vacation is just around the corner. -- Or, the one where Gerard Argent kidnapped the wrong fucking person to torture. Stiles has never subscribed to the policy of forgiving and forgetting anyway, not when razing the problem to the ground and salting the earth for good measure has always been a far better solution in the long run. He doesn't expect to have company.

(though this one is a little less on the "takes care" side but it's still spectacular post-basement Steter)

In Full Bloom by cywscross

After the ridiculously dramatic hunter-werewolf-kanima showdown is over - after Derek and Isaac have disappeared into the shadows, after Lydia has bundled herself and Jackson into the back of the Argents' car, after Allison has climbed in as well and Chris has driven them off, after Scott has run after the vehicle like a panting dog - Stiles stares after the trail of black goo Gerard has left in his wake and thinks, only idiots leave loose ends untied. That's where it starts, for him. (It started much earlier for Peter, and now he has the pleasure of watching Stiles grow into his own in much the same way. Of course, he hadn't expected to end up fixating on the boy quite so much, but then, what's life without a few surprises?)

(also a little less on the caretaking but still excellent post-basement Steter)

And now to some self-rec because I'm proud of my own work!

Small But Good

After Gerard is taken down, Stiles finds himself disappointed in Scott and very hurt. He also finds himself alone with Peter. Peter, who is suddenly alive again. Ever since he'd helped kill the Alpha, Stiles had been thinking about Peter a lot, had realized something about Peter's behavior toward him but he thought it wouldn't matter anymore, with Peter's death. Now that Peter is alive again, maybe they should talk about the fact that they're mates.

A Brighter Future

As children Erica and Stiles met in the hospital, Erica running from her tests, Stiles running from his dying mother. Together, they hide in Peter Hale's room. They become friends and, unbeknownst, they become Peter's pack.

(Yes, it starts much earlier than that but it does culminate in post-basement, I swear)

Through Time and Trials

Everyone Stiles loved died and, with his own dying breath, Stiles used forbidden magic to go back in time to save his pack. Only that the spell turned out to be more of a curse. Every time he dies, he is sent back to the same point, the point where he first started losing pack. The take-down of Gerard, the night Boyd and Erica were captured by the Alpha Pack. He's done this over and over and over again. Thirty-four lives lived, to varying lengths. This time, he cracks. For the first time, he actually tells the pack that he's a time-traveler and what he has been through.

mmmmmmm you know what’s some good good shit? some tasty words?? some delicious delicious fiction??? 

Peter taking care of Stiles after the Gerard Beatdown. 

Here’s a list of fics that have that, but not a comprehensive list because I KNOW I’ve read more than these. Feel free to add if you think of more!

The Fort Fic by @cywscross  

Do you remember - back when you were a little kid - the forts you used to make at home out of blankets and pillows and overturned furniture? Like all those kids, Stiles does. Unlike all those kids, Stiles never quite outgrew it.

The Alpha Thief by @hotpinklizard

Something changes around the time Peter turns thirty. His wolf becomes malcontent and angry. His control, impeccable since he was a child, starts to slip, that inner rage leaking out. Talia’s iron clad control over the pack chafes him. He can’t explain why, but it feels like his world shifts. Pack members he’s grown up with suddenly leave with barely an explanation, without a goodbye. His parents’ deaths, something that occurred over five years ago, suddenly feel raw, everything after their passing he remembers feeling stilted and wrong.

Or

What if Malia’s existence wasn’t the memory Talia took from Peter? And what if memories weren’t the only thing she stole?

Razor Edge of Danger, also by @hotpinklizard

It starts with Gerard. After the clusterfuck of Stiles crashing into the kanima with his jeep, Jackson’s ‘death’ and werewolf resurrection, Lydia and Jackson go off together, Scott goes after Allison, and Derek, broken and hurt from yet another betrayal and use of his body against his will, takes Isaac and leaves, unable to look at any of them. That leaves Stiles standing next to his battered jeep, arms wrapped around his aching ribs. No one so much as looks his way. Except for Peter.

A Meeting in the Dark by LeeBlack

He’d no sooner stepped in the kitchen when the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and he froze in place, having gotten the crash course on being able to tell when an apex predator was watching him.

“If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with,” he said, with a bravado he most certainly did not feel.

The back door opened enough for someone to slip inside and close it, flipping the deadbolt shut.

“You should keep this locked. Beacon Hills isn’t as safe as it used to be,” came the response.

(baby) maybe that matters more by @lavender-lotion

“Well, well, well,” drawls a familiar voice that Stiles hadn’t even considered he might ever hear again. “The token pack human, left all alone?”

A Little Tender Love and Care by @ambersagen

Peter’s back from the dead. Stiles is fresh from a beatdown. It’s the perfect opportunity for a certain half mad wolf to get what he wants this time around. Luckily for Stiles what Peter wants is what the boy needs.

Would You Forgive Me if I Called You Hope, Peter Hale? @whispering-sumire755 (I could have sworn this one was post-Gerard beatdown, but it’s actually post- A Different beatdown. I’m including it anyway because it fucks.) (not literally it’s rated T)

Stiles has scars. He owns that, he accepts it, he’s cataloged and memorized every single one, he’s hyper fucking aware of them all.

//

“What do you want, Peter?” Having the more untrustworthy of the Pack getting protective weirds him the fuck out, leaves an odd fluttering in his chest, like moths, waiting perilously and suicidally to be burned.

He doesn’t like it.

“You’re injured,” the man says, “and whatever it is, it’s put you in enough pain that I nearly fainted when I-”

“- Used your werewolf mojo on me without my permission?” Stiles smirks, and Peter gives him a black look, crossing a leg over his knee and smoothing out some invisible wrinkle on his pants.

“Tell me the truth Stiles, how bad is it?”

[Or: The one where Stiles has scars, is more than a little fucked up, and Peter notices. He helps.]

[watermelonsloth]

One of the most interesting parts of Naruto that I haven’t seen talked about nearly enough is the concept of offering a hand to someone who has done you wrong and you have no reason to like.

Naruto hardly ever offers help to or has meaningful conversations with anyone who… for lack of a better term, isn’t an asshole. From condescending Neji to serial killer Gaara to fascist dictator Nagato, Naruto primarily redeems people he has no reason to respect, let alone like. Yet, save for maybe Haku and Nagato, Naruto is the first person to open a line of communication and offer sympathy where they don’t offer him any. This is all based on a core principle of the Naruto series:

Bad People Are Still People

They have reason behind why they think and act the way that they do, they have feelings and fears and interests, and they have both the capacity for good and to change. Naruto’s “talk-no-jutsu” is him appealing to an enemy’s humanity and inspiring them to do better in the same way he inspires his friends.

[halotica]

hi everyone, i wrote this short essay about time and the self that means a lot to me, if anyone here wants to read it :)

I went to an arcade today. a "retrocade", filled with 30% beaten up machines and the rest innumerously similar to one another. it was interesting, modern yet not. i saw games i've only heard spoken of or seen in youtube videos, games that i forgot, games that had been desecrated and left as cardboard husks, no screen, empty gun slots, abandoned because the parts weren't worth the cost. the guy at the entrance, the owner i believe, wouldn't stop talking about how there were no modern games, no 2000's "junk" just the 90's 80's and 70's. wouldn't stop making cocaine jokes either. he was a chill guy, but his reality felt trapped- joyously transfixed in one time, one space, pulling others into his truth.

i almost threw up at the end. it felt like a hotbox of flesh and subsuming meatwarmth.

i called my girlfriend, speaking for the first time in almost a year. she asked "who are you" when i messaged, and i had to agonizingly explain the multiple ego deaths and almost-real deaths that led to such a change in existence and expression. i couldn't believe she still loves me, it was like talking to a portal through time. like i was looking through a rift, back into the pov of that scared girl exploring the rotting parts of toronto, loving every terrified second of it. and the rift only let me look at the girl who dragged me along through it all. i wouldn't have gotten here without her, for better or (and, really) for worse. she gave me our memories back, filled me with a past. like there was a bottle of lightning in my heart, carrying thousands of volts of lives that could've been, and a single crack let it seep out. my body didn't stop shaking for an hour. all i could think of was everything she went through, how i could've been there, how i could've held her into the stability she now has. but then again, she recognized the utter dissonance between the me now and the girl then, she spoke of us with the same fondness while her voice twinged with, either curiosity or confusion im not sure. she told me she never stopped missing me. i told her the same. i left that reality to crumble because i thought i was already dead once i left it, but now i am alive, and i know otherwise. pulling bits and pieces that i desire, leaving the rest where they should lie.

no matter what she said about the past about the new about how things have become, you can't reach your hand through the rift. if i go back to toronto, which i am considering more by the day, it will never be the same. and i'm glad for that. "the ___ you knew is not the same ___" i know, sister, neither are any of us. you will never be the exact same girl that taught me how to two-step, how to love fully, how to make a mark. but if i can i'll come back and i'll hold you as new, and we'll exist for what we are now, no melancholic hesitation, no dreamy life huddled together in that streetcar headed towards the end of the bay, the end of what may be everything. this life will be this life until we die and then there's another. if there's anything i've learned through rebirth, it's that you can't escape time, but time is not an antagonist. time coddles you, time begs you to understand, even though you can't. time is always there, leading you to something, anything. you can do anything inside of time, it's a comforting blanket when you can feel the veil. when you know that time will always be there, until the end, you know that you must respect it, and do what you can with time as your eternal company, until it shows itself, and sits with you until the moribund rot sets in.

if my girlfriend messages me tomorrow as we said, i'll be overjoyed. if she doesn't, i'll still be Halo, i'll still be Trance, and the memories of her and the girl she knew, fighting in the back of the Cruel Intent pit where only the merch guys and the band members could see us, will still be here. and the memories will never be lost, or take over, memories are time, showing us its face. it wants us to see, that it has been here, and still is, it wants us to look it in the eyes and make new memories with it. memories are the only true motivational tales.

5 years ago today, i was three lives separated from now. even the twinges of feminization had barely reached me. the memories then are desaturated and cold. time has decided to relieve me of them, until i need them to see that it won't leave.

2 years ago, i was closest to a self than ever before. i cut my hair for the first time since COVID, i lived on my own for the first time ever, i was medicated for the first time, and had estrogen for a few months. it felt like life. and it fell as quickly as it came. time followed along, it kept those memories so i'll always know the catalyst of all catalysts, and know that they keep coming. life is a never-ending crux point, a point of damnating decisions. many think they come and go, but events are put in amber as they happen, dragged along like a rock. but i don't have to be the one to carry that rock, to let it chain me. you can let time carry it, it wants to be your pack mule, so you can carry yourself without the need for assistance. though you will need assistance, even time misunderstands. it will warp your memories to suit your needs, but isn't that so much better than living in pocket realities of space and time. i enjoy travelling through the pockets i'm given, knowing more realities will show themselves to me, will fade into this one until the previous is gone like the wind, dissipated until it can only be felt in the changing air, the heat transferring into me, being held on by my pores. another to be carried by my forever confidant.

now, in the hardest place i've been in in my life, i know it simultaneously is not that. there is no point of rock bottom or a peak of all peaks. this pocket, like every, expands with each second, entropy will find its victim, and i will be shot into a new continuum. dead and yet alive.

so it goes.

by the time that things are noticeably different, they will be entirely familiar. dozens of generations of cockroaches have died since i was a scared 15 year old, in my second-to-last year of high school, asking the lesbian from my therapy group if i was "allowed" to be transgender. they have all experienced time in its entirety, is that not a wondrous release, even for a creature as miniscule as such? they live, they go from house to house, or food source to food source. do you think they see the change from feasting on a rotten apple under the fridge for a month into feasting on the remains of chinese food on a fetid living room table, as a change of utter truth, a life-changing dissonance of realities? we are all in our own, and yet we can fill each other's with air, increase the space, further the movement of entropy, further the cause into the effect, take and give until the bubble pops, and the next one comes to subsume us.

i feel like i should've used up my 90 minutes ive given myself to write this by now. i guess time still wants me to keep going. i could talk to you forever, black text background plastered over the neonic glitch-effected image of some random anime girl. this feels like a reality in its own. for tomorrow will be another drop, as always, leading into a rise. like a roller-coaster, we are at the pinnacle, the daily crux, the climactic orgasmic influx of thought into the idea of the heart that is held inside the mind, and we drop, into the reality of screaming fear. maybe it will lead into a slow plateau for a while, maybe it will rise, maybe it will loopdeeloop and we'll have the most fun we've had in our lives. maybe i can have it all. scratch that, i will have it all. and if time can't stop me—which i know it would never—then nothing can. even as the feelings of that teenage boy from that bubble of time tries to mix into mine, i will take it and i will feel it and will touch her growing hair and i will braid it for the first time and i will tell her it will be okay. things will get so much worse, and things will get so much better, and you will find a self through any of it, you will never be the nothing you think you are, you will not only become so much, you will become so many. you will experience the lives of a girl, a woman, the boy you never got to be, a bug, a dog, a specter and a willing participant both. you will cry and you will cum and you will scream and you will fight and you will die and you will punch and kick and live even when you die. time is here, i am here, that ‘boy’ is here alongside me, and i will never be her again, but maybe i will be a different her in a year, or a month, or even years, but no matter what, i will *be*.

in 2 years i hope to have novels out. i hope to have started a foray into much more than this, games, films, mixed media of all i've learned. but if i haven't, then that is simply another reality that will crawl alongside me, like lines ever-so-slightly unparalleled, waiting to meet and dissolve into each other’s being. anything can happen. everything will happen. even doing nothing but waiting is a deeply consequential decision, one of the most. doing nothing when you are at the crux is no more than another plateau on the roller coaster. you are going to fall, whether you cover your eyes or not. and then the rise will come again, and so will the loops. and don't you want to have your eyes open for that? you will experience a thousand drops, and a thousand climbs, and none will be less vital than the last. you need to keep your eyes open throughout the wind. don't you wanna look at all the faces you made on the camera at the end? at every differing face you wore? a collage of every death and every life and every half-hearted dissociative fugue and every piece you created while crying and screaming is waiting for you to see, you won't be able to be the creator forever. i have been given the power of a god. to create as much as i can until the light fizzles, and then to create even more in the dark, until my hands grow weary and my fingers give in, bursting with caustic fluid and and leaving my reality. and then, i can hold them all. i will have everything.

time is my right-hand man, my little eunuch advisor, whether scheming or telling truths, i love her. and i'm going to drag her around on a leash until we reach the volcano, then i'm gonna throw every twink i could've been inside it, then i'm gonna watch, and i'm gonna turn to time, and i'll say "pretty funny, right?" and we'll laugh. and we'll sit by the heat with no suits, letting it peel away every layer. the girls and boys in my head who have told every me many things, who have driven me to this point, will wither as i huff the caustic fluids seeping from time's wounds, and i'll feel every reality that once existed within and without me, with each of their deaths, and i'll say "pretty funny, right?" and i will take one last drop into the final, into the last face of my realities. and time won't be there to hold me anymore. i will.

and i will know, i have had everything.