#of the good things happening in ths world too. small things big things anything just anything good anything getting better anything thats

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[barcaatthemoon]

down for the count || barcelona x teen!reader ||

you take a bad hit during a game.

some things weren't meant to be joked about. you knew that you could be a bit dramatic, often treating little things like they were big deals. you weren't sure when it had become funny to you to see the look of concern on your teammates' faces whenever you'd go down for a few seconds too long before they realized that you were fine. you knew that it wasn't really funny, but you liked having the knowledge that someone genuinely cared for you.

el classico matches were big deals, and jonatan made you promise to be on your best behavior if you wanted to start. mapi was out on injury, so she wouldn't be there to spur you on towards trouble. everybody seemed to understand the impact of this particular match, it was alexia's first el classico since her injury.

"good luck today, la reina." your tone was cheery and playful, usually something the girls knew meant trouble. however, you genuinely were trying to be on your best behavior. none of them mentioned it, but you could feel them watching you closely throughout the warm ups.

the game iself wasn't what you had expected. you had played in big matches before, where tensions were high and players tended to be a bit aggressive. several girls had nearly trucked through you, and the refs didn't seem to be paying much attention of any of it. you were getting frustrated, and the playfulness from before faded away. the girls were still watching you, but they weren't paying enough attention to notice the switch.

you took a shot that was knocked out of bounds by the keeper, resulting in a corner. you thought your position was good, near the goal, but a bit further away from defenders and misa. she had been putting in the work to block your shots, even going as far as complimenting you on your progress during half-time.

"it's up!" you shouted as you jumped up to head the ball in. you felt something collide with your stomach, knocking you backwards before you could hit the ball. your body was shot back a few feet. alexia had always nagged you about your positioning during corners, claiming that it tended to be in dangerous spots. as you flew backwards towards the goal post, you realized just what she meant.

your head hit the post with a sickening crack. it wasn't a thud, and you didn't move an inch. misa immediately moved to crouch down next to you. she didn't know what to do, but anger filled her as she realized that none of your teammates were coming over to check on you. they all assumed that you were faking it. it wasn't until you hadn't moved for a couple of minutes that any of them sprung into action.

ingrid was the first one by your side. she knelt down next to you and gently moved your head to see where it hit. a wave of nausea washed over her as she saw the blood dripping out from the back of your head. if it wasn't for the small, shallow breaths, ingrid would have thought you were dead.

"pequena, come on, wake up," ingrid pleaded with you. alexia was the next one by your side. it took every ounce of her strength not to just break down as she looked at you. "she's not moving alexia. i don't know what to do."

"we have to let them take her. she'll probably wake up at the hospital," alexia said. it was more for herself than ingrid. she didn't want to finish the game anymore. alexia didn't want to do anything until she knew that you were alright. there wasn't a player on the field who wasn't in some form of distress over what they saw happen to you. for a moment, the whole world seemed to care about you, but you weren't awake to see it.

…

it took nearly two days for you to stablize, and even longer for you to wake up. your parents had stopped by, but only briefly. they had been back in barcelona on business when the game was going on. it was a lucky break that they had been able to show up, despite the fact that you were their only child.

alexia was sickened by the way they dismissed you, even as you laid there in a coma. she may have been the most strict with you and always at her wit's end with your pranks, but alexia loved you. she wanted to protect you, and seeing you in the hospital bed killed her. still, she didn't let herself break down in fear that you'd wake up to see her like that.

"it's been nearly a week," lucy said as she glanced at your bed. "have they said anything?"

"the swelling in her brain is still going down. they've only just been able to go in and repair the damage to her skull. we're all lucky that she didn't hit her head in any other spot or she'd be dead," alexia said. she was just repeating what the doctor had rattled off in rapid spanish back to her english teammate. you had always been fond of lucy, and so lucy decided that she'd stay in your hospital room with you.

"she'll make it out of this, alexia. (y/n), she's a tough little brat," lucy said. alexia needed the reassurance almost as much as she needed you to wake up.

"thank you." alexia reached out to hold lucy's hand. it was as she started to pull hers out of yours that she felt movement. you tried to squeeze her hand and pull it back towards you as you stirred in your sleep. alexia didn't want to get too excited, but lucy shot straight up from her seat.

"(y/n), are you awake?" you heard lucy's voice, but it sounded muffled and a bit echoed. alexia leaned closer towards you as your eyes fluttered open. you let out a small groan at all of the bright lights and your body's sudden discomfort. your head hurt in a way that sent waves of pain all over your body.

"ale, i hurt," you whined. alexia had tried so hard to keep herself composed, and for the most part, it had worked. however, the moment that you looked at her with pain and confusion in your eyes, the dam broke. alexia's head shot down to rest against the side of your bed, but you could tell from the way that her body shook that she was crying. "ale?"

"it's okay, (y/n), she needs this. i'll be right back, okay? i have to get the doctors and call the team," lucy said. you nodded, obviously not going anywhere. lucy was back fairly quickly, and alexia was rushed outside as the doctors caught you up on what happened and ran a few tests. by the time that they were finished, the majority of the team had arrived and were all packed into your room.

"i am glad that you're okay," alexia said as she took your hand in hers. it had taken a couple of hours for the team to stop doting on you, but now things felt normal again. you felt like you were in the locker room, with the exception of alexia, who hadn't left your side. "you scared us all back there… including me. especially me, actually. i'm so sorry that i wasn't there sooner, i don't know what i would have done if you'd…"

"i'm fine, alexia, so you don't have to think like that. mapi's taking me back with her because my parents just left for america and won't be back for another six months. ingrid will be practically begging you for help supervising us," you said with a smile. alexia cracked a small one as well. she was a little fuzzy on the details of your relation to mapi, as was everybody, but the woman had always treated you like her little sister. all anybody needed to know was that you were her family, and all you needed to know was that mapi would always be there for you.

[alphajocklover]

Hi! How about if a nerd, or maybe a science teacher gets a bush by the jock of the school and he realizes a bit too late that his body is changing. It hits him that the sport teams didn’t have a coach for a while now, but that couldn’t be what’s happening, right?

Ned Stanson had hated highschool. The entire 4 years were absolute hell. He, having been an incredibly nerdy chemistry prodigy who everyone could easily tell wasn’t entirely straight, was constantly harassed by the popular jocks. They’d mock him, push him down, stuff him in his locker and perform incredibly cruel pranks. The jocks at his school weren’t smart or clever, but they were thorough. It was constant. He never felt safe, not for a moment, even outside of school. He didn't relax a moment until he was off to Harvard, and even then he was way too busy getting his double major in chemistry and education to really do anything except study. So why, after the years of torment that Ned had been through, that he still hadn’t gotten over, did he ever think it was a good idea to go back to his old highschool?

Ned put it down to desperation. A college degree, even with a double major, didn’t go as far as it used to, and he had no prior experience. He needed a job, badly, and his old highschool, Luther High, was eager to have him back. He expected it was because it made for good publicity more than anything else. The famous chemistry prodigy who went to Harvard, coming back to his old high school to teach a new generation. That, plus the general prestige of having a Harvard graduate working at your school, would do wonders for the small town highschool. So, drawn in by the surprisingly large salary, Ned forced himself to go back to his old school. He tried to tell himself it wouldn’t be the same, that as a teacher he would have all the power. He wouldn’t have to be afraid of jocks and athletes anymore. He could even help a few nerds the way he had once wished his teachers would help him. Things would be different.

He was right. Things were different. Maybe too different. Ned had found that teaching high school level chemistry was actually quite nice. He had always enjoyed teaching, it was just that he had pictured himself teaching college students, going over more advanced material. But something about going over the basics, introducing young minds to the world of chemistry, was thrilling. He felt amazing. Powerful even. Maybe a little too powerful. He wasn’t doing it consciously, and he felt like crap whenever he noticed it but… he found himself being especially hard on the jocks. They hadn’t done anything to him. He hadn’t even seen any of them bullying nerds like the jocks did back in his day. But some sadistic little part of Ned couldn’t help but pick on them. He’d give them harder questions, offer less help, and he even found himself being downright cruel and mocking them.

He knew he should stop but it felt so… cathartic. It was like he was getting his revenge, after all these years. Maybe that was why the kid he targeted most was Dylan Cooper, the little brother of his worst tormenter growing up. Ned knew it was wrong. A teacher bullying a student was way worse than a student bullying another student, no matter how bad the harassment he went though had been. But every time an opportunity to humiliate the legacy jock came up, he found he just couldn’t resist. After a few weeks of this he knew it couldn’t continue. He asked Dylan to stay after class so that he could explain himself and ask forgiveness. He knew he might be reported to the school board and fired, but… he couldn’t deal with the guilt anymore. As he sat at his desk, Dylan across from him, he tried to find the right words. Dylan spoke before he could, his voice cocky and confident.

“I know what you’re gonna say teach. You’ve been treating me like crap because my big bro used to beat your nerdy ass when you went to school together.” Dylan said with a slight smirk, shocking Ned. How did Dylan know about that? Did his father tell him? Dylan continued, a strange look on his face

“… look, what my bro did to you was shitty. I used to be a bit of a bastard myself till my old football coach set me straight. But you know taking out old grudges on students is fucked up. I can tell you do. You get this guilty look on your face whenever you talk to me.” Dylan said, shocking Ned further. Ned remembered hearing about the football coach. He had been let go shortly before Ned was hired. Everyone said good things about him, and Ned had kind of wished he had met the guy. Finally he spoke, a slight tremor in his voice.

“Dylan, I am… I am so sorry. You’re completely right. I’ve acted completely unprofessionally. If you want… I’ll resign.” Ned offered. Dylan smiled slightly

“No need for that teach. I’ll forgive and forget everything. But you have to do something for me.” Dylan said. He took out what looked to a plastic whistle on a chain “The football team needs a new coach. I’m not asking you to say yes. Just… try on the whistle. See how it feels. Then tell me.” Dylan said. Ned hesitated. Something about this felt wrong… but Dylan was being so forgiving. How could he say no? He took the whistle and slowly slid the chain around his neck. Suddenly the world spun around Ned, his vision blurring. He felt like his entire body was stretching as his mind burned. He ended up blacking out, only for Dylan’s familiar voice to cut through the darkness.

“Coach… Coach… Coach!” Ned sat up with a start, looking around. What… What had happened? He looked over at Dylan, confused.

“What happened kid?” Ned asked, his throat feeling strangely rough. He stood up and stretched his arms, his incredibly large muscles flexing slightly as he tried to recall what had just happened. Dylan replied before he could truly get his bearings.

“We were talking about the team and suddenly got weirdly dizzy. Are you not drinking enough water? You’re the one always telling us to drink a bunch after every workout.” Dylan said with a slight teasing smirk. Ned grinned back at Dylan confidently. Dylan was a cheeky kid, he had been even back when Ned first met him. Ned was an incredibly athletic and popular teen, the classic jock, and had been best friends with Dylan’s older brother all through highschool. Because of that Dylan was almost like a little brother to him too, and getting the chance to teach Dylan was one of the reasons Ned was so eager to accept his new job as gym teacher and football coach. He playfully slapped Dylan on the arm and smirked confidently

“I’m alright kiddo. Just lost my concentration for a moment. You should worry about yourself lil bro. I’m gonna push you hard at practice today.” Ned said with a smirk. As the studly coach and quarterback strut out towards the field, Ned grinned widely. He had loved highschool, and now he got to work here and inspire a whole new generation of manly jock bros. It fucking ruled.

[septimusmoonlight]

Anonymous: Idk if you've ever written anything abt this but I love the idea of some small foreign entity crawling inside my womb while I'm asleep and like. Fusing I guess? And just constantly fertilizing me to the point I'm always pumping out its kids. Makes me go straight to Niagara falls lol

I'm sure I have some permapreg like it somewhere around here, but it's always something I'm willing to explore <3

It's just an ordinary night for you, so you manage to get to sleep eventually. That's when your uninvited guest comes out to play. Maybe it was under your bed, or just outside your window, or somewhere else in your room that you don't check often enough. Whatever it is, the thing slinks out from its hiding spot on too many limbs and seeks out your available hole. It knows it has a good project on its hands - you can be turned into a good tool for it, something to pump out not-quite-humans infected with its genes.

Its body secretes sedatives that keep you fast asleep as it opens up your cunt with its tapered body, pulling itself deeper and deeper inside of you until it presses right up against your cervix. With a little extra force, it pops inside, sliding perfectly into place as it latches to the top of your womb. It quickly dissolves a portion of the inner lining so that its body can fuse to yours, and it even incorporates some of your DNA into itself so that your immune system doesn't recognize it as a threat. Within minutes, its skin and your womb flow into each other seamlessly, and it can begin its work.

It takes a little while to get your body up to speed on what the new plan is. The first round of hormones it secretes is meant to prepare its environment for its young in particular - they may be similar to humans in various superficial ways, but they are most certainly not the standard young a human should be bearing, and certainly at a rate far too fast for any human. Then, once your internal workings have been altered to its tastes, it starts releasing its seed into your womb - in fact, with bifurcated genitalia, it can simply insert a long probe directly into your fallopian tubes and bombard your unprotected ovaries with its sperm cells, fertilizing engorged eggs much faster than should be possible. In fact, new eggs are forming just for its purposes, which is normally an incredibly rare event - but, then again, this thing isn't producing humans, so human biology is mostly irrelevant.

The first cells start dividing late in the night while you're still peacefully sleeping, entirely unaware of how you've been changed. Permanently. Forever.

In the morning, you become acutely aware of the new developments when the first hints of labor pull you harshly into the waking world. You gasp and moan, clutching at your rounded, swollen belly. You're so large that you can't even adjust your position properly, and you're left to wonder, terrified, what must have happened last night for you to end up like this. You're not allowed to think much further about it, however, because the pain of a child pressing against your dilated cervix is a distraction from everything else, and you have to follow through on the urge to push before anything else can be done.

Labor is fast, in comparison to how long an active labor normally is, and it's agonizing as a result. Your body isn't used to being stretched open and pulled apart like this, much less from the inside out, so thoroughly claimed by something you can't identify - and yet, despite the pain, pleasure still washes over you, and you can't help but cum multiple times, delaying the birth as you clench hard around the inhuman child still sliding through your birth canal. Your cervix and cunt are stretched wide, wide open, torturous and euphoric at the same time, and you're tempted to linger at the crowning stage just to bask in the horrible, searing burn that comes from something just too big. Your body screams at you to bear down, though, so you do, your legs shaking as you cum again at the sensation of a newborn slipping wetly out of your newly-sloppy cunt.

As you lay back, fighting for breath, you can feel more weight gathering in your lower belly. Placing a hand on your midsection greets you with the sensation of your skin pulling tight under your fingers, an alien mass pushing out from within, filling up your womb with something you didn't ask for - and yet something that makes your skin burn with arousal, makes your eyes roll back in your head and your tongue loll out of your mouth when your cervix hugs another small body on its way out of you. The process seems to be speeding up - even as you're giving birth, another body stretches your insides.

These are just the growing pains as the organism that's taken you over makes sure its systems are in place properly. It's making sure that you can push out as many children as it commands, making sure that you're hyperfertile and loving it, making sure that the elevated pain response you're experiencing is simultaneously translated to pleasure so that it hurts and makes you cum at the same time. So far, everything is going well - but it wants to keep up the test run for a little while, pump out enough children to make up for its time outside of a human womb, when it couldn't produce young.

You're trapped in bed all day, screaming and sobbing through orgasm after orgasm as babies open you wide, an endless chain of children you can't identify, not at all human and yet with the appearances of oversized newborns. The way they can crawl immediately after birth - and climb up the walls, no less - tells you that you're not dealing with a weird human pregnancy; this is something entirely out of your wheelhouse, but you're finding it harder and harder to care as your brain learns more and more to enjoy your new position as a permanent baby factory, a sloppy hole for babies to come out of, an incubator. You're forgetting everything else you had planned for today, for next week, for the upcoming month, the rest of the year. Pleasure and pain, and this implacable urge to give birth over and over again, are quickly wiping out the desire to do anything else.

By the end of the day, things have slowed back down, but you're still giving birth at least once an hour. In between, you're rubbing your cunt, easily sliding a fist into your sloppy hole to keep yourself open for the next child that needs to come out of you. You're all too happy to stay like this, but when there's an extended pause, you take the opportunity to fall back asleep, exhausted without realizing it.

Then, you wake up, and your midsection is larger than it was yesterday morning. The morning sun says hello through your drawn blinds as you wail, squeezing out a batch of easily five or six newborns, apparently left gestating inside of you all night while the thing that took you over let you get some rest. It seems to have a good picture of the human limit, but you have no clue of any of this; all you know is that something happened to you, and it's the best time you've ever had in your life.

[creedslove]

THE MILLER CHRISTMAS 🎄 🎁

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: a Christmas miracle is really possible for Joel?

Warnings: fluff and angst, boy dad!Joel, Sammy is back ❤️

A/N: Merry Christmas besties 🎄🎁

O.7k words

“Why are you still up, buddy?” Joel rubbed his tired eyes and walked to his son, who was on knees on the couch, so he would be tall enough to keep his little face glued to the window, watching the white snowflakes falling quietly outside. Sammy barely turned his head towards his daddy as he didn't want to miss one single little thing from outside.

“I'm waiting” the toddler's voice wasn't much more than just a whisper, as if he would scare away whoever or whatever he seemed to eagerly wait. Joel shook his head and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, sitting next to his son's small frame, his curls were messy from tossing and turning in bed, - as he'd been way too excited to fall asleep on Christmas eve, of course - and Joel chuckled to himself, thinking that you were right and it was about Sammy got a haircut.

“Are you waiting for Santa? You know he only arrives after everyone is asleep, he drinks his milk, eats his cookies, leaves the presents and goes to visit other kids…” his rough calloused hands stroked his son's hair gently, as he couldn't still quite believe that even after what happened, after the world was destroyed, after all the shit he'd done and the blood he'd shed, he was able to still have something good, to have found love in you, to have had a son in his life and to be able to safely celebrate Christmas reunited with his brother.

“No daddy, I'm waiting for the Christmas angel” Sammy shrugged and turned his attention back to the window, wanting to have another glimpse of the curious Christmas creature, at the same time Joel frowned. A Christmas angel? What the fuck was that? He had never heard of that story, he was pretty sure you had never mentioned that either and Ellie was more of a Christmas monster kind of girl, than an angel. He was confused, where could his son have possibly heard that? Maybe they told kids that in Jackson's daycare, but if that was the case, then Sammy would've said something before, wouldn't he?

“What angel is that?”

“It's a girl angel daddy… she's very pretty and she was here playing with me… then she said she had to go away but she is all the time watching us and taking care of us” he explained with a sweet smile. Joel was now suspicious, not sure if he should be worried, but maybe some girl had broken into the house to play with Sammy? What for? It didn't make the slightest sense.

“What?!”

Sammy took a deep breath, his daddy was usually very fast and smart but he didn't understand why he was so confused that night, maybe the angel had made him sleep too much.

“It's the angel daddy…” he began explaining “she is pretty and she says she always looks after our family, after me, mommy, Ellie and mostly you”

“What's this angel like?”

“She has brown curly hair and brown eyes, daddy like you and me… oh, and she said her name was Sarah!” He grinned at the exact same moment Joel's breath got stuck on his throat. He completely lost action for a while, simply looking at his son with disbelief and shock. How could Sammy make up a story like that? No, he wouldn't do that, he was a sweet kid, he would never simply make up a story out of Joel's most painful memory. Besides, he was sure he didn't know anything about his big sister Sarah, not even you knew the whole story, there was no way someone would've told him that. When he came back to his senses, he found Sammy watching him with a sweet smile. He had wrapped his small arms around his daddy's larger one and snuggled.

“The angel said you wouldn't believe it, daddy, so she asked me to give you this” he opened his tiny hand and revealed the smallest butterfly paper cutting. Purple and blue, his first little girl's favorite colors. Joel swallowed hard, tears flooding his eyes as he desperately tried to keep them in place and prevent them from falling and running down his face. It looked exactly like the paper butterflies Sarah always left scattered around her room before the outbreak. Sammy got on his feet and pecked his daddy's cheek gently

“Merry Christmas, daddy” he said cutely, before getting off the couch and returning to his room.

Joel stood there, trying to let all that information sink. He couldn't believe what was happening and even if he tried finding a logical explanation, he couldn't. Perhaps, it was just a Christmas miracle after all.

____

[yourmamakira]

"Anger management"

c.shuantaro

"Chishiya is very chill, very relaxed, and very quiet, but his girlfriend...not so much. She has horrible anger issues and can't help it that she wants to fight everyone. Even if she's not strong enough. And it just so happens that the calmest person in the world is the only person who can calm her down." She/her/herself/"reader"

Notes: this takes place on the beach, fluff, angst if you squint, slight oc chishiya, guns, violence, harassment, blood,

They had spent nearly a month in the other world, and a week on the beach. In other words, they had been there for too dam long.

Despite being extremely smart and agile, reader at times were a steaming hot teapot constantly on the edge of boiling over, and unlucky for those around her, a lot of things set her off.

She was always stuck with two people, two people whose main goal was to keep her on a tight leash like a reactive dog at a dog park. And truth be told she was very dangerous to those around her. Not only was the girl insanely aggressive, but she was also smart, and quick. Only a few people know of what she was before she came into the other world. But those who don't know could only assume she was some kind of trickster god.

She and Kuina had just got back from a spades game —her specialty— and just nearly finished with less than a handful of bruises, the most noticeable one was on her right leg. A massive Gash from a lion's claws poorly covered in a wrap, it dripped a small trail behind her as she winced with each step.

A gash which caused her to walk with a weakening limp. Now what may not seem like a big deal to others, to a few, was just that indeed. Because it meant the wild wolf was hindered, her normal energy lacked visible volume. And her other stronger willed and long tempered Bodyguard was nowhere to be seen.

This would likely be the only opportunity to have the upper hand her enemies would love to have. And they took it. 

The pair of tired girls made their way through the crowd by the pool. One would think the party would ease up but it did just the opposite as the night continued. The beach was never really quiet. People of all ages come together to celebrate not losing their lives and coming one step closer to leaving this world.

Well, she thought it was all a load of bullshit. These people thought Hatter was doing this for them, when in reality only the higher-ups would make it out. Which is exactly why Her, Chishiya, and Kuina would climb the status quo to come one step closer to leaving this world faster than anyone else.

Of course, she had many thoughts of the card idea not working, but it was the only shot they had and she would take that shot in the dark to get what she wanted.

The two of you coordinated your way through the sweaty crowd, you yelling at everybody who dared to bump into you accidentally. 

Your leg pain didn't ease up and it made you walk a little funny with each step you took. You hadn't seen your lover anywhere, but knowing him he was probably out causing chaos, and that thought of that made you smirk.

Just when you thought that your wounds would be the only pain in the ass, one of the least desirable people in the this world decided to step infront of your path intentionally blocking your way.

You gritted your teeth at his mischievous smile and glared dealthy at the dark haired man.

"Get the fuck out of my way Niragi."

He chuckled as he stepped closer, you made no attempt to move. This trix didn't scare you, but Kuina however stepped closer behind you in fear, knowing that if anything was to happen, you would protect her with your life.

"Awl, still as hostile as ever little wolf? How about I show you a good time in the bed to ease up all that pent up anger"

He licked his lips suductivly, his tounge reached out to nearly lick the top of your nose. You emitted a sound from your chest that almost imitated a growl. Clear anger rising to your face.

"I will fucking kill you if you don't back the fuck up"

Niragi's smile dropped and he clutched his gun harder. You didn't give a dam about that fire arm, everyone knew getting shot was the least of your worries. And so did Niragi.

He chuckled darkly, "what did you just say to me, bitch?"

This set you off, you got closer to him and he flinched. You first spoke in a whisper before yelling and your voice rang though the entire beach.

"I said BACK THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Your voice boomed, the voices around you got quiet but you didn't care. Everyone watched intently as the two wild bulls went head to head once again, wanting to see what would happen this time like some cheap reality television.

Just as you were about to get physical, Two more voices entered the conversation,

The beach members split clear a path as Hatter and his crew came waltzing in, and just at the same time, Chishiya appeared out of thin air and stood directly beside you. But your eyes were locked on your rivals. –If you could even call him that.–

If looks could kill, Niragi would suffer a great horrendous death.

Hatter smiled as he took off his glasses, he looked between The two of us before laughing that obnoxious laugh.

"You two fighting again? What's the problem this time? Huh?" He spoke humorously, you and Niragi hated eachothers guts, you Two couldn't be in the same room without trying to rip eachothers heads off. Like two infant babies who didn't get along at the play ground.

Chishiya Smiled Dryly as he looked between the two of you as well. "Yes, what is the problem?"

Niragi took his gaze away from you to look at your boyfriend in disgust. "You better get your slut in check Chishiya, she's wild again."

This made you jump at him and he flinched back, both Kuina and Chishiya took your arms in hold and held you back as you screamed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLUT YOU BITCH—DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?" You continued to yell at Niragi without restraint, you spewed insults and threats, all of which you meant, even hatter got a little scared at your words.

Just a you were about to continue, both hatter and Chishya stepped in between the both of you.

Hatter looked at Niargi with a wide smirk, "now Niragi, you know not to mess with Yasei no ōkami, no offense but she would smoke you! How about you two just go to your rooms and cool off. Huh?"

Yasei no ōkami (野生の狼): "Wild Wolf"

Chishiya grabbed your arm and pulled your ear to his mouth, he whispered something and your face dropped while instantly becoming hot. You huffed and crossed your arms immediately calming down.

Whispers filled the silence around the group of you, everyone wondering what he had said, and how he had managed to calm you down every time without fail.

Hatter pushed Niragi the opposite direction of you and he gave you a face as him and his goons walked off. Hatter turned back to you, Chishiya and Kuina before speaking,

"And you Three musketeers, should go on too. Rest on for a long day tomorrow, well the two of you at least." He looks down at your injured leg then back at your face

"Looks like your hurt, let Ann take a look at that before going back to your room, okay? Don't need you dying on us" he laughed obnoxiously at his last statement.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed while looking away. You wanted to so badly talk your shit. But you didn't want to considering what Chishiya had said to you a few minutes ago.

Kuina exchanged a few words with hatter before she grabbed your arm and began to pull you away from the Militants before your fuse blew again.

She was about to speak before Tata came up to your group and interrupted her.

He nodded at the three of you before speaking, "Y/N, Chishiya, Kuina, I need one of your help with somthing I'm working on. I would ask someone else but..."

He trailed off and Kuina Picked up for him, "but everyone's either Drunk, High off thier mind or Trying to repopulate the new world. I'll help you Tata."

Tata smiled and the two of them went off together, you rolled your eyes and began linmping away from where you were told to go.

Chishiya stood there with a raised eyebrow,

"Where are you going?"

You spun around to face him, "away. I don't need help. It'll heal on its own."

Chishiya walked up to you and started to pull you in the direction of Ann before you ripped your arm away from him.

"I'm not going to Ann."

You spoke harshly. Only a few people knew of your fear of the doctors, —which was ironic considering what your lover did for a living— but you managed fine avoiding it before.

But little did you know how bad you needed one, and your Boyfriend wouldn't let you succumb to your infections like you would allow yourself to. So he grabbed your arm and began pulled you to Ann.

You fought him back, very adamant on your fear. But he still prosisted, and he was just a bit stronger than you.

"I said— No!—"

He gripped your arm tighter before looking back you with this glint in his eye that even scared you. No matter how hard you tried to not be, you trusted your boyfriend with you life. And if he's pressuring you to go. Then you need to go.

You huffed and let him pull you to Ann's Make shift med room. But his grip on your arm didn't loosen. Instead, he grabbed your hand and gripped it tightly knowing dam well if given the chance you would bolt. Then he wouldn't be able to catch you.

You bit your lip harder and harder with every inch you got closer to Ann's. Even if it wasn't a real hospital it still has hospital things in it. It still had a hospital vibe.

You gripped your boyfriends hand tighter and he looked back you with his same expression. To others it was just blunt. But to you, you always had a way of telling it meant you were safe with him.

As you walked into the med room the smell of alcohol and blood flew into your nostrils. Your eyes widened as you became stiff at the door way.

Horrible memories began flooding back to you at a rapid pace. You felt as if your heart were stopping and your lungs became full with a familiar feeling of water.

You were reliving your childhood all over again. And you wanted to throw up and die on the spot.

The walls were closing in and your vison was blurry. Everything was spinning as you quickly became dizzy—

"Y/N."

A voice snapped you out of your pounding head. You looked up with tears in your eye and were met with the gaze of Chishiya.

You hauled up and wrapped your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around your waist and let your tears fall on to his shoulder.

If anyone seen the mighty Wolf in this state they wouldn't know what to do.

Good thing it was just the love of your life.

You lifted your head up and wiped your tears. No words had to be exchanged.

You looked down at your feet and sniffed as you looked back over to the table full of supplies, you took one more look at your boyfriend before you deeply sighed and walked into the room with clenched fists.

You couldn't register what Ann was saying but it was something along the lines of "leg" "limp" "bad" "infection".

You couldn't bother to listen any further as you squeezed your boyfriend's hand so tight you thought his fingers would pop off.

The visit was over faster than you thought, but you had been distracted the whole time so it could have been hours.

You walked out of the room with a wrapped up leg and tear stained cheeks, you sighed as you looked down at your leg.

You were glad you had no more games for a while now, so at least you leg had time to heal.

As you were once again lost in thought the sound of Chishiya's voice Made you look up.

"So, now that we're done, I think it's time for my promise to come true, don't you think?"

Your face heated up as you looked down to your leg then back up to the platinum blonde man,

"But my leg—" he cut you off as he walks closer, "we, can work around it."

You gulped as you took his hand and the two of you made your way to your shared room.

If we can get anything from this night, just know, you'll be knocked out in a few hours. Forgetting all about the hospital and your hurt leg..

Well here it is, finally. Way way longer than intended, and took way longer then it should have, nobody asked for this to began with. But if you see this and like it, please support me. This took like 4 months to finish for no reason, love you all. And sorry it's mostly reader again, I just love writing from their prospective.

More Chishiya coming soon tho, love you all!

[its-in-the-woods]

The Woman Who Couldn’t Die Part 9

master list

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Pairing: The Ghoul/Cooper Howard x Original Character

Synopsis: “I don’t know if I can lose someone again.”

MINOR GET OUT. Rating/Warning: This is based on Fallout expect typical horror as well as: Blo0d, G0re, Death, Bodily injury, mentions of SH, death, drugs use, soft!cooper, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, Dead dove,

Note: that I will not be spoiling any of the reading. I will keep my tags relevant without spoiling what is happening in the story.

*thank you to everyone that reads <3 You all make the world go round. I've really fallen in love with this story

The next two outposts were the same burnt outside, body parts, and not much else. The third one left Cooper feeling frustrated as they went over the whole place trying to find something worthwhile. Food, water, and chems were low. They could probably go a few more days, but it was making his fingers itch. He didn’t like to run low on anything, as it would mean withdrawals, withdrawals lead to going feral. He glances over at Jade, he was not going feral. No. They’d figure this out, or he’d off himself before that happened. 

Jade had started lifting floorboards around a desk, the woman was convinced something was under the floor. Ghoul was less optimistic, it wasn’t the first time she’d torn into a wall or floor thinking there might be more behind it. Jade hadn’t said much about whatever was happening, she’d curl up against him at night, and while they walked she’d occasionally hold his hand. She’d kissed him a couple of times too, it left him feeling slightly dizzy, the world didn’t feel so dark with her in it. She was a vicious killing machine when it called for, but also full of ridiculous optimism. How? He didn’t try to understand. The more he learned about her life the more he questioned why she kept going. Why did anyone keep going? Jade just wanted to live, she lived for each day, and each morning. Somehow grateful that she got to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

“Yes!” He hears her call out, taking him out of his thoughts. She had dropped down below the floor, just her hand sticking up out of the hole she jumped into. “Chems!”

The Ghoul moves over looking down into the dark hole. Jade had a big smile on her dirt-covered face shaking the case of chems above her head like she’d struck gold. He reached down, grabbing the box before placing them on the old table. Opening it up, six bottles of his chem, he couldn’t help the small smile tug on his lips.  

“Hell yah,” He says, turning to look back down at her, there were half a dozen or so crates scattered over the basement. She was going through each carefully, a small stack of cans beside her, some water purifying tablets.  

“Start passing stuff up’er, Pip-Squeak.” Cooper leaning down, she turns face to him, now covered in more dust and dirt. She grabbed a few things wrapping them up in her coat to hand to the man. 

“Think we should be good for a little while now,” Jade smiles at him, he couldn’t help the way his heart twitches seeing her grinning.  She looks at him like the sun revolves around him, eyes lit up like fire. 

“Grab whatever else, then we should get you outta here, don't know what could be down there.” He states, squatting down to hand her the jacket again. 

After one more load, he helps Jade out from under the floor, they are both covered in dirt. Jade was over the moon with her small find, “This should keep us supplied until we get to the next town. God I hope we get to -”

A click of a gun had Cooper whirling his own gun up, as he turns to face the two men who stand in the doorway. He fires at them, his other hand pushing Jade down, he hears her drop as gunfire goes off. His gun blasts a hole in one of the men, the man falls as the other blasts scattershot. The shot hitting the Ghoul in the chest, but that didn’t stop him, instead the Ghoul was already aiming his gun at the man. The blast coming out and blowing the man's hand clear off. Another shot from outside hit the Ghoul's side, Jade standing up beside him firing at the man. Her speed and accuracy were no match for the other man as he was hit by both of them. The one man was dead on the floor, the other screaming holding the stump of his hand up. The man outside had chunks out of him but was taking off. Cooper was already at the door grabbing the man and dragging him back to the door. Jade stood over the blood-covered man as he begged her to end it. 

“Why are you here!” She yells at him, Cooper slamming the other man’s blood body beside the door. The other man was coughing and sputtering blood all over the ground as he oozed. 

“There’s a bounty on you two,” The man sobs, his face starting to go pale as blood gushes out of him. He wouldn’t be long for this world, not without them fixing up his stump, which isn't going to happen. 

“A bounty huh,” The Ghoul said, crouching in front of him, watching him try to squirm away from his gaze.

“You killed the wrong guy's brother, Ghoul,” The man beside the door choked out, blood foaming down his face. His eyes were going in and out of focus, words more a slur than speak. 

“Whose brother!” Jade gritted, her hand grabbing stumpy's stump and pushing a finger in. 

The man howled, “Stop, please. Please no more.” He whimpered tears covering his dirt-smeared face. “Joel, Joel Pedro. Dom Pedro’s brother, you dumb cunt.”

Jade looked up at the Ghoul, the two immediately recognizing the name. The ghoul handed her a knife, she took the knife and cut his throat, blood squirting out as he sputtered and choked. 

The Ghoul had a foot on the other man pressing it down into its chest, the man wailing as he pushed on it, “Who the fuck is Dom Predo?”

The man shrivels back, squirming in his own icker. “He’s coming for yah Ghoul. He’s going to take you and the experiment girl alive.”

Cooper shot him without hesitation, the splash of blood on the doorway dripping down. Jade stood there with a confused look on her face, before moving towards the bodies, digging around in pockets. She pulls out a sheet of paper, unfolds it, and holds it up to the Ghoul. 

His face sans hat was on there, and beside him was a poorly done drawing of Jade. Both drawings were half-assed but it was clearly them. A large bounty for them both found alive, less if they were dead. A bit more info was below, they were to be brought to the southern west coast. Details were sparse but it was enough to give them a direction. 

“Well fuck, looks like you got your first bounty on your head, Tiny” The Ghoul states before he folds up the paper and puts it back into his pocket. Trying not to think too hard on the fact that Jade was now in danger because of him. 

“First? You’ve had this happen before?” Jade pushes, Cooper shrugging as he starts to go over the dead men. He had lost track of how many times someone had wanted his head on a platter, it never ended well for the ones looking for him. You didn’t stay alive for this long without killing a few fellas. 

“Won’t be doin’ good if I wasn’t on the boards myself,” He said, grabbing a good bag of caps from one of the men, they’d be well stocked now. The Ghoul pondering a change of course now that there was a bounty on their heads. 

“How’d they know it was us?” Jade asks, pulling out some ammo and pocketing it. Her pants and bag were already heavily weighed down by her findings. 

“Always someone watching, could have been someone in one of the towns or outposts that recognized you.” He replies, fishing out a couple vials of chem, as well as another inhaler. Never hurt to have a spare one or three. The old saying, ‘One is none, and two is one’, came to mind.  

Jade sitting back on her heels looking at the mess, “I wish I could remember their faces, at least we could avoid them then.”

The Ghoul watching her, he could see the wheels turning in her head, he got up and went to her. Crouching beside Jade to look at the body, really what was left of the body. 

“Look’er, I can give you some bullshit 'bout how it’s gonna be okay. That they’ll never catch us dead or alive. But I know you Jade, you’ve seen this world for what it is. It ain’t gonna get better, you decided to follow me. You decided to jump down that creature's throat. We both know that chances of us makin’ it to the other side unscared, much less alive, is low.”  He states, he didn’t know why he needed a speech, but it felt right. “Now ya can try and dig those memories up, to make sense of it’ll. But I’ve been wandering this bullshit for two hundred years, and most memories that’re gone are best left gone.”

Jade looked at him, brown eyes watching him before she stands up and stretches, audible pops as she moves. “I think that’s the most words you’ve said to me.”

The Ghoul huffed, “Yeah, you're welcome, Pip-Squeak. Good it gets me.” He rolls his shoulder under the duster grabbing his bag, hoping that maybe some of the words crept into that thick skull of hers. 

Jade has a small smile as she goes back into the building rummaging through the last dead body. “Well, it does get you a bunch of Chems, and a good amount of caps. I am not a completely useless sidekick”

She jingled the cap and held out the chems, the Ghoul took them. Letting his hand linger on her fingers a little longer. Watching as her cheeks go a little pink, the girl had just killed three people with him and was now blushing at the touch of his glove. Maybe he was still stuck in the forest somewhere living in a daydream.

“Think we should head south at the next intersection.” He said as he stashes the bottles in his bag, Jade doing the same thing, making sure all their loot was tucked away.

“Why south?” Jade asks, closing up her own bag. The Ghoul was grateful to see her not wincing when she shifted it onto her back. He had taken out the stitches at the second outpost. Most of her bruises and cuts are now gone, but he'd catch her every now and again wincing in pain. “Thought we would be heading west?”

The Ghoul pulls out the paper that had their bounty on it. Rereading the words.“Want to know more about this fella. Dom Pedro. So we know what we are walking into.”

“Walking into?” Jade pries, as she walks over to him. “Are we planning on going after him?”

“Won't be who I was if I ran from every slimsnake that wanted my head.” He clicked his tongue, standing up and taking a hit of chem, the numbness easing his mind. “I know of a small town that should be able to get us some information. If you're game?”

Jade shrugs, looking around the place, before back at him. “Don't got any other plans.”

They continued west until they hit a crossroads, the beat-to-hell pavement more sand and gravel than the once black tarmac. Jade stands beside her companion watching him look at the different directions. His eyes squinting, head tipping as he listens. His senses were much sharper than hers, he often stop to do just this. Listen, look, smell, and take stock of what is around them. Since the forest incident, he had been extra cautious about anywhere they went. Constantly making her stay somewhere so he could scope it out. Jade would have called it annoying, but really she knew he was just trying to keep her safe. 

As he turns she saw the wreckage of the scattershot he had taken. Grimacing a little at the wounds, she hopes he’d let her dig them out. It had to be painful, right? He finally faces south, squirting down the way.

“What is it?” Jade finally asks, trying to see what he could. She moves to stand right behind him, shifting the weight of her bag on her shoulders. Regretting having taken those extra cans of cram, the bag's weight pressing down on her tender joints. 

The Ghoul huffs, rolling his shoulders, “I am not sure, something feels wrong.” Jade tried to let her senses feel out, when she had been in the forest she had felt the strangest, the wrongness of the place. Here though, it didn’t feel any different than any of the other trails they’d been on. 

Jade shifts her weight onto her other foot. The thought that they could be going down another fucked up forest trail was not high on her to-do list. “Can we not go that way?” She gestures towards the western trail. 

He turns to her, looking to where she is pointing. “You scared now pip-squeak? Thought you went on instinct.”

Jade rolls her eyes at him, at the moment her instincts are dull. She had blamed it on the many stimpaks and med-x shots she’d taken, but standing there she wondered if it was something else. “Instinct would like me to live, not go through another monster-being-dropped-on-my-head forest walk,” Jade replies sarcastically, trying not to let the fear creep into her voice. 

The Ghoul let out a wheezing cough of laughter, a crooked smile on his face, “Yeah, I would rather not carry your dead weight around.” Jade gives him a dirty look at the comment, “We should keep going West then, it will be a bit roundabout.”

“Roundabout, but alive sounds better than, straightforward and dead.” Jade sighs, turning towards the western path. She is about ten steps down the road before realizing he hasn’t moved yet, “You losin' it, old man.” 

The Ghoul turns towards her, eyes covered by the shade of his hat. “Dotcha think it’s a little odd, how everytime we try to go in a directions somethin is standin in our way?”

Jade shrugs again, she hadn’t really thought about it that much. Really she hadn’t thought further than the next place they slept. Was it weird? Maybe, but this was the Wastes, and it wasn’t uncommon to run into issues. 

“It’s really only the one time?” Jade said, walking back over to him. “Not like we’ve been traveling for months here.” 

“Fifteen days,” The Ghoul said, still staring down the southern path. Jade standing beside him, wondering why he had kept track of how many days. Maybe it was an old-world way she didn’t understand. 

“If you really want to go south, we can,” Jade states, yeah she was not really up for another battle, but she wasn’t going anywhere without him either. Sense dulled or not, she couldn’t imagine being alone out here. The realization that she is heavily relying on him, made her heart clench. Did he even feel the same way? Was this a hint that they would be splitting?

The Ghoul turns to her, his hazel eyes looking over her face. Jade held his eye contact, wishing he would just tell her what he was thinking instead of staring at her. The silence was always so much worse than the arguing. 

“Well, let’s go,” He said, moving past her down the western trail, in a flurry of material swishing behind him.

Jade’s shoulders slump as she follows him, working hard to keep up with his long-legged pace. Wondering why he had decided to move at the speed of sound all of sudden. She thought about his comment, about how there always seemed to be something in their way. 

“What did you mean back there,” She finally asks, “About something being in our way?”

The Ghoul was quiet, Jade’s boots echoing around them as they moved. Jade stops, waiting for the Ghoul to do the same. He turns back looking at her, she still couldn’t make out the expression on his face. Maybe this was it, he had finally decided he was done carrying her dead weight.

“What?” He asks, throwing his hands up. “We're going West, will go around. Save us the headache of finding another critter.”

“What do you mean what?” Jade asks, “You were standing there like you were contemplating the meaning of life instead of which direction we should go."

“Just doesn’t feel right is all.” Ghoul huffs, making as if he is going to leave but doesn’t move much. Instead pacing back and forth. “We should.” He swallows, looking away towards the trees. “I can’t,”

Jade is moving towards him, but he is still staring off face covered in shadow. “What is it? Is this ‘cause of the bounty? Thought you said this wasn’t uncommon?”

“It’s not safe traveling with me. Yah got a bounty on your head, you almost got killed. Cause you are following me.” The last words are so quiet she almost doesn’t hear them, his shoulders drawn up like he was trying to hide himself away from her. 

Jade stands in front of him, seeing the pain in his eyes makes her heartache. The holes in his chest had mostly stopped bleeding, but would need to be tended to. At the moment his mind was what needed tending. She reaches up to touch his face, but he moves away from her touch.

“Stop it.” He says, the words holding no venom, he takes a step back from her. Jade wasn’t having it, moving backward with him.

“Me? Stop it?” Jade cusses, “You think I can’t make my own choices?” This time when she reaches for him she pushes him backwards. He barely moves, head tipped down, not looking at her. “Treating me like a child.” Jade is now raising her voice, “I am here, following you. Cause I want to be here.” She shoves him again, “My life has been a living hell for years, and the last however many fuckin days, have been some of the best ones. Even if the monster almost killed me.”

She goes to shove him again, the Ghoul is grabbing both her wrists holding them in iron-like vices. He pushes her back, she stumbles until her back hits a tree with a thump. Thankful that her backpack cushions it. Jade’s hands are pinned against the branch, the Ghoul is right in her face, eyes lit like fire as he glares down at her. Jade's Heart pounding in her chest as his eyes flow over her face. 

“You are so frustrating,” He growls at her, Jade staring right back at him with just as much venom, “I can’t keep you safe forever.”

Jade grits her teeth, struggling against his grip, knowing she most likely won’t break free. But there was no way in hell she was going down easily. “I am not asking you to. You vacuum-sealed raisin.”

A small smile twitches his lips at her insult, “Look who's talking, smooth skin.” 

Then he leaned down and pressing his lips against hers. Jade froze for a moment, brain trying to figure out how they went from arguing to kissing. Pushing that out of her mind, she pushes back, the bridge of his nose bumping against hers, the warm brush of air as he breathes out. Her whole body reacts when he opens his mouth and sucks her lip into his, keening as she pushes her body against his. Feeling her wrists being let go, his hands traveled down her body, pulling her close. She reached down and held his face, his rough skin under her hands, feeling each scar and mark. Trying to remember the way they felt and how he tastes, all of it. 

As suddenly as it started it stopped, the Ghoul pulling away, resting his forehead against hers, hat shading both of them. Their breath mixes as they try and catch it, hearts thundering under their clothes. 

“I don’t need you to save me,” Jade whispers, opening her eyes so she can see him. Feeling how his brow furrows at the words. “I just need you with me. For however long we get.” His breath is evening out, eyes still closed, Jade wishing he would look at her. “Please, I don’t know how long I will get. But I’d rather spend it with you.”

She hears him swallowing, his hand coming to cover the sides of her face. “I don’t know if I can lose someone again.”

The hurt in his voice had Jade wrapping her arms around him, hugging him close to her body. Feeling him tremble a little as she held on, refusing to let go of him. She didn’t care about anything else but holding onto him. Holding onto a man, who had seen every part of his world destroyed. Lost family, friends, and more to this horrid wasteland. 

“I will follow you, wherever you go. Until this world of ours ends,” Jade whispers, holding him tight for a moment more.

Part 10

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated. It helps more people find me <3

*Updating one a week depending, please note my schedule is getting hectic but I will continue to update! Please be patient with me

@pixelatedprofilepic @hiddlebatchedloki @toogaytofunctiondangit

@dionneroyal49

[potato-salad-uk]

I've been meaning to make this post for a while telling my experience with the new Splatoon 3 DLC Side Order. I've been having a lot of fun playing it and I just wanted to tell people my thoughts and experience.

Warning This will have some spoilers for Side Order

Color Chips

The color chip system is very fun and interesting and I like all the funny builds one can make with them with my favorite being the all drone chips. I do have one small complaint about them tho which is that some chips were for some weapons weren't in the primary or secondary color so that is making them a bit harder to collect all data from them.

Weapons

I love all the weapon chooses and that are given to us and even if I'm not good with a certain weapon I can always choose color chips that can make it easier for me to use an example of this is how I struggle with using the roller but with faster firing and faster rolling speed I can use it with ease. I have beat the game with all the weapons and I had a lot of fun doing it, non of them felt like it was too hard but also not too easy.

Story

The story for Sure Order was a bit underwhelming to say the least, it wasn't too hard to understand and the way that you unlocked the bits through Instagram like stories by Marina locked in the lockers was fun and gave me another reason to want to beat the game with every weapon just to see what was the cause for Side Order.

The World

The World of Side order was so beautiful even if there was barely any color in it it didn't feel lifeless even though all the white coral was supposed to represent coral bleaching which is a very dangerous thing that is happening. I love th music of the Order sector and the foyer with the sounds being represented by in game effect of shapes going in and out of existence which is something I can't say I've seen in games before.

Music

I was only a little disappointed that Acht aka Dedf1sh wasn't making the music for Side Order because I really enjoyed their music, but Free Association wasn't bad at all my favorite songs are Cold Storage and Je2ting. I have been a fan of electronic music for a while now and having a "game" that 90% if the songs are electronic was so cool, I even listen to the songs when I'm not playing which just makes me want to play Side Order

Characters

Pearl and Marina are so gay and it's fun to see Acht have to deal with it. Im glad that Acht didn't turn out to be a bad guy because I just love them too much, they are just such a silly goose and I want to give them head pats. Eight is there I guess having to deal with another horrible experience, seriously girl needs a break, but it was fun to know that she went on tour with Pearl and Marina that was just so cool. Smalusk is so cute especially because he wants to be so big and strong but he's just a little guy.

That's about it if you want to know anything else about my experience playing Side Order let me know I'll also up load some screen shots I took in the reblog <3

[treasure-goblin]

Fiorella (she/they/he)

Roland (she/they)

And here's another episode of "Ran doesn't know how to write endings"

The first time she heard the noise, Fiorella just assumed that their neighbour had acquired a new videogame. A very loud videogame. One that turned on at seemingly random hours of the day, because there was no way Roland was so jobless to be playing whatever it was all the time — during peaceful lunch, late at night long after the world had fallen asleep, early morning before the sun’s first rays dared disrupt the people’s slumber.

And what even was that game about? She heard sounds of roaring (ah, so a typical adventure game, then. One of the bosses must be a monster of some sort), gurgling (whole lotta rivers in that game, huh), giggling (so… kids? Maybe some side-quest?), snoring (yep, definitely monsters involved), heavy footsteps that actually seemed to scurry about over her ceiling (dang, the devs worked really hard to make the sounds realistic), and sounds of crashing glass (they should probably ask Roland for the name of the game. Maybe give it a try in the future).

The only problem was that they seemed to love playing the game 24/7. And were unaware of the concept of headphones. So she decided to confront them about it, as a concerned citizen.

Of course, that was until they actually saw the ‘game’.

He stood on the doorway of Roland’s apartment, wide-eyed and jaw agape. He could not convince himself to look at anything else, having totally zoned out on whatever her neighbour was saying. A small toddler sat on the rug, playing with Jenga blocks and giggling. And that was not right.

Because she was pretty sure Roland did not have a kid. Or was involved in babysitting activities. Or the fact that human babies were not supposed to have pitch black skin, or compound eyes, or another set of arms protruding from their shoulders.

“You know what?” Fiorella finally said, turning to Roland, “I’m done here. I don’t even want to know. I’m out.”

As they turned to leave, Roland held her hand with a pleading expression. “Please, Laurette… Please don’t tell anyone about…”

Fiorella let her eyes soften. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

They let go of his arm, but still looked apprehensive. “Listen, it’s just a kid, I didn’t want to leave it suffering and—”

“I get it,” Fiorella interrupted. “I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

Their features brightened up visibly. “Thank you.”

She smiled. “But,” she said, turning back again, “you have to tell me everything that happened. Over coffee.”

“You sure you won’t need something stronger?”

“Nah. Coffee’s fine enough.”

And as they headed downstairs, they heard a soft “Gotcha.”

👀!!!

(Baby Bean's Perspective)

...

Mama lived in a weird place, Hussk decided. Mama didn't have a nest. Or a web. Mama lived in a weird box, with a door like a trapping pit, and now so did Hussk.

It was a nice box, he decided. The greens and purples were duller in the box, which was weird but good. Hussk got a warm fuzz when he was cold, and yummy food, and Mama had made Hussk a nest for himself, just like a big spider. He loved his mama very much.

Mama spoke a weird language. Hussk didn't understand it, but he was just a baby, and didn't understand a lot, so he wasn't too troubled over it. Mama made herself clear enough, and Hussk was a smart boy.

Hussk loved his mama so much. And everything was perfect.

Huh? What was that?

Hussk was playing with his sticks one day while Mama did something on their bright thing when there was a knock on the box entrance. Hussk chattered softly to himself, shrugging it off and continuing his playtime. He knew it was Mama's job to bring in the prey from the entrance. He listened as they walked, and when the door opened, he blinked curiously at what was there.

It was another four-legged spider, like Mama! Hussk watched as Mama and the other spider talked, and he was happy Mama wasn't the only four-legged spider. Maybe they really weren't missing legs. Maybe they were supposed to look like that.

He perked up when Mama grabbed the other spider's wrist, wondering what it meant. Was that prey? Was that spider for eating?

Oh, never mind, Mama let them go again, and they seem ok. Hussk was confused sometimes by his four-legged parent, but he decided not to worry about it. Mama knew what they were doing. He clicked happily as Mama scooped him up in her only arms and hugged him close, saying something in their strange words. Hussk leaned against Mama's chest and sighed in contentment.

He didn't understand, but that was ok. He would one day, and then he'd talk to Mama all the time.

Hussk loved his Mama.

[eriexplosion]

Entering season 2 with Spoils of War!

Honestly I think this is one of the best season openings I've ever seen. The setting is perfect for showing off their animation chops and the upgrade between seasons, bringing everyone into sight with Echo falling flat on their face is hilarious, and it leads into a fun high energy sequence that lets us see the time gap between seasons and just how much Omega in particular has grown. While also introducing us to why everyone is so tired because god are ALL THEIR JOBS LIKE THIS?

Cannot overstate how funny Echo face planting is.

Fucking. Splat.

We went over the plan FIVE TIMES.

Tech turning the ship too sharply and throwing Omega out of it like what did you expect you knew she was out there

Baby girl has gotten SOOOO GOOD WITH HER BOW. I'M PROUD OF HER.

WHY IS OMEGA HANGING OFF THE SHIP?????? Hunter is SO TIRED. He is going to have a fucking heart attack at any moment and he sounds so much more tired than last season already.

"Better late than dead, I always say." Truly I would have done anything this woman said from this point on. Phee is so unspeakably gorgeous and this is still the best line to possibly have Tech come back on, just SAYING.

The faces Wrecker and Omega make at each other on 'this one's too big, this one's too small' are amazing

THIS ONE'S GOT A FACE TATTOO just roasting Hunter with NO provocation, going straight for the giant tattoo on his face. Reasonable, frankly, it's not great for going undercover.

"GOT A NAME BROWN EYES~" I love her.

Wrecker stuttering out 'Yes ma'am' is exactly how I would be around Phee, huge mood.

Echo is the only one besides Tech that she doesn't roast, clear acknowledgement of the fact that Echo is perfect.

Cid leading a mutiny when Hunter doesn't like the war chest plan is fantastic honestly. "We took a vote" and Wrecker can barely even look at him. Sorry Hunter this team has been turned into a democracy you're being overruled. Even Killjoy agreed. Can't tell if Echo is horrified by the name or that they got ratted out.

Cid giving this job is interesting, because the obvious reason is that she wants the money too, but what she tells them is true and comes into play at the end. Eventually the Empire will come out here. If they had succeeded here, they might have split from her completely amicably which is probably what she preferred.

"You can have a future. Isn't that what you're after?" and Hunter looks at Omega I'm WAILING.

Echo has probably rehearsed this speech SEVERAL times. And while neither of them are entirely right (Hunter is right to want to protect Omega, but he's wrong to think that getting away from the Empire is even possible in the circumstances, Echo is right to want to fight the Empire but that doesn't mean they need to throw themselves right into the battle with everything they have) I think that ultimately Echo's POV is the more realistic. And what we've seen in other Star Wars media, and has also been set up in TBB before, is that it doesn't matter what Omega deserves, the world they're in doesn't allow kids to be kids. I'm thinking of Cham in season one saying that he doesn't want Hera to live her whole life fighting like he's had to, where we know damn well that it's exactly what happens - it might not be what they WANT for their kids, but sometimes it's the realities of life. They can't just walk away from that, no matter how much they might want to, not just because of a moral imperative to stand up to the Empire but also because it's just not possible.

Anyway I'm emotional as always over the fact that all Hunter wants is to let Omega have a childhood and that's one thing that I think she will not be able to have.

"Our lives are like this because of Omega" OW OW OW OW Echo WHY did you have to say that her room is RIGHT there.

"We. Should be doing. More." GOD BUT THEY'RE NOT WRONG, THEY'RE NOT, JUST UGH. THIS HURTS.

Omega in her little room with Lula thinking about what she just overheard I'm destroyed.

One of the reasons that the theories that Hunter will die to save the team don't quite work for me is, like Tech, we already know Hunter would die for them. Right here his plan is that if anything bad happens he'll divert their forces entirely by himself, sure he has plans to do that and make it out alive but if he doesn't? He's fine with that, if it gets them out safe. Him sacrificing himself for them isn't any kind of character arc because we're already starting from a point where he'd do that without a second's thought.

Wrecker smoothly scooping Omega into the cargo crate is such an adorable moment.

Even through his helmet the power of Tech's >:T at Wrecker for stunning a guy is powerful enough to be felt.

Shout out to Hunter's gratuitous roll

"How could all of this belong to one person?" that's capitalism Omega

Somehow never noticed Wrecker calling Hunter 'Boss' before oh my god that's adorable.

"Are you sure this hatch will lead into the ship?" "If I am incorrect, we will instantly be sucked out and perish. I am seldom wrong!" I love him, he's so chirpy about it.

"Congratulate yourself after we escape" NO NEVER HE WILL CONGRATULATE HIMSELF RIGHT NOW

The inside of Dooku's palace is soooo gorgeous

Listen if the cargo containers can have thrusters to slow down their descent, I think that the tram cars could have them too, just saying.

"You are correct, I am impressed!" is so cuteeee oh my god.

THE MOST FACE.

God I am cry at Hunter being too boggled to understand how to operate a lift. TECH USUALLY DOES THIS baby it is a TOUCH SCREEN it cannot be that hard what do you mean Tech usually does?

He's so fucking stupid I adore him.

THE S C R E A M

[anarcheamor]

Okay, Now I Can Talk About Annette's Vodou

Sike! I have to detour through Maria's summoning first. Spoilers for Nocturne will be said here so please stop reading from here if you haven't finished the show.

I know I watched the trailers and saw her summoning birds and thought it was cool but it still took me aback to see it in the show. And I think it's because, for one, knowing that her mother was a speaker made me question why she didn't know speaker magic and, for two, it was the first set of magic that needed a not-plot-relevant explanation for how it works. In the first show, the only times we got explanations for the magic was when something big was happening and the explanations served as part of the setup such as Doctor Saint Germain in the Multiverse of Madness and The Parent Trap: Alucard's Nightmare Editon. For Maria, there wasn't a plot reason for her powers being explained, it just seemed like the show had to provide one because the question was gonna be asked as we were watching. After all, she was summoning animals from somewhere and no other character we have seen had powers to teleport beings from one place to another so casually. Okay, so we have a daughter of a speaker magician who doesn't use speaker magic and we know that her daddy is definitely not capable of teaching it to her so what gives, right? Thus the show (read writers) felt compelled to break a convention from the first show and give us an explanation so that we could understand Maria's abilities and introduce the existence of other realms- something that was introduced in the first Castlevania via Saint Germain: Into The Germainer-verse. And that's fine, nothing too complicated, her relationship with the animals she summons seems to be something both originating from her magic and also from her using them in every day life. Cool! The alternate realm even has a name: the Other World. Alrighty, so I'm certain that it's that simple and we won't need anything else to be explained.

Except there is... turns out that the Otherworld is part of Celtic/Gaelic/Britonic myth which would explain why Maria's powers are different than her mother's as they most likely stem from her father's side of the family. An odd thing to leave out, no? I almost thought it was like Forgemastery where it was a Castlevania original form of magic. A small dive into the native roots of her magic could have added a bit more to her character and have the double effect of prepping us up mentally for Annette's Vodou especially since the two were directly compared but also to help showcase just how different Vodou is from people's traditional views on faith and magic.

Now I should say that my understanding of Vodou is coming from being an outsider to the faith but still connected to it culturally due to my ancestry, upbringing, hearing stories, etc., and then having to fill in the blanks with some research. This isn't gonna be accurate Vodou info because we're talking about a faith with three major variants that all have been pretty secretive for most of their existence due to religious oppression, demonization, and centuries-long attempts at exploiting and capitalizing on their "exoticness". So with all that said, take what I say with a good amount of salt.

Edouard says that Maria's Otherworld sounds like Annette's ancestral plain which is right in the sense that there is AN ancestral plain similar to the Otherworld. AN as in one because, in Vodou, there's multiple "nations" or families of spirits, with each spirit behaving and acting differently in some accordance to the nation they're in. The first red flage here is that the ancestral plain we see is pretty ambiguous and is just a gaggle of spirits in some ethereal place and the spirits themselves are mostly just diversely colored shadows save for Annette's mambo (teacher), Cecille. The next red flag is that Annette's magic is her own. In Vodou, powers are given by the spirits themselves, there's no level of spiritual genetics that can just imbue you with magical ability. Why? Because a major lesson in Vodou is that our strength comes from those who came before us and we can use them to support us as long as we reach out to them. Removing that aspect of Vodou from the equation just turns Annette's magic in regualr magic but with some Haitian flavor on it. And all of this is made most apparent than the biggest red flag...

THEY BROKE PAPA LEGBA'S NECK!?

So, Papa Legba is one of the most beloved of Lwa. First of all, you can't do much without him being involved as you have to talk to him first. Have you ever lived in a neighborhood and there's this gentle old man always sitting at his porch whose basically everybody's grampa? That's Papa Legba and his "house" is the entirety of the lwa nations (although he's considered to be from the Rada nation, one of the major nations I mentioned earlier). But he ain't no slouch and to cross him is to play one of the biggest FAFO games in your life. He's the head guard of all crossroads, doorways, etc., so him being summoned to deal with a portal to Hell and Forgemastery machine sounds appropriate but who thought it was a good idea to have him die? Is he dead? Just... why? How? Can spirits just die now? Ugh... on top of that, they could have just had him possess her. Usually, when Vodou practitioners want something from a lwa, the lwa can only interact physically through a human body so a rite is performed for the lwa to "dance in the head" of a trained practitioner who personally works with them. I can understand cutting corners in the show so that all Annette has to do is focus and call the name of a lwa but this would have been cool to see, allows greater focus on Annette, and allows you to have Papa Legba there without doing him dirtier than what American Horror Story did to him by having him just stand around until his neck gets turned intoa tetris piece.

You can see why I had to take this long to get to my main point, right? The first Castlevania used the straightforwardness of their magic to great effect but Nocturne introduced two new forms of magic with rocky starts because they don't match the formula established by the first set of magic. I hope that we get to see better representation of both.

[hinamie]

I would bet my two arms the piece is gorgeous anyway, but I understand if you don't find it good enough. Now, about the concept being something already done, jjk is such a big thing that I feel that's bound to happen? I've been in this fandom not too long yet I find the similar ideas repeated over and over. And I don't mind. Quite the opposite, I love it. I wish that were true foe the small fandoms I have been in for years. It's the "holy shit two cakes!" thing, but it's not just that. It's the fact that I just like some artists' styles better than others just because of personal preference, but it's also, mainly, because every time the same fonce has a bit of a twist that is uniquely that artist's, and it's always great. And you say it's not enough, but in a third person pov as a non artist person,I truly find sometimes even the small details in which the art/concept differs sometimes bring so much to the piece they make you reconsider a whole point of view, a whole dynamic, a whole aspect of the text/manga/character

I think it's like comparing translations. Two translators make trantlate the same text into the same language, but even so you can see differences between them,and a bit of the translator,what they thought of the text, the characters, the ideas, their interpretation, shines through. That's the feeling it gives me when two artists go on about doing similar concepts with the same characters/worlds. And there's so much of it in jjk for real

I don't know. I've written a lot but I just wanted to say I'm sure it's all wonderful and gorgeous, that I know/understand why you'd ask more from yourself, but that every piece I've seen of yours has been fantastic, that I always utterly adore your take on concepts and ideas, that it's one of my favourite aspects of your art, and they I love your insight about your pieces in your tags, even if sometimes they also read like you're being a bit too hard on yourself.

thank you so much for taking the time to send this <3 you're absolutely right of course, I know that audiences are not going to turn their nose up at More Content :'> and it makes me happy that u think so highly of my art and the spins i put on certain concepts ! with the recent gojo/screens art , when I drafted the sketch for it I immediately went 'no way this hasnt been done before' so I knew going in that I had to bring my a game, n i got rly discouraged when all th bumps in the road started popping up. by the end I was mostly just tired of working on it, not to mention frustrated that I had wasted a fair chunk of time on the partner piece that I ended up having to scrap. overall just a lot of headache over a piece tht rly shouldn't have warranted it

also . i know i'm too hard on myself a lot of the time but old habits and all that hdsfg it is simply in my nature to pour absolutely everything of myself into my work. it ends up being a double edged sword a lot of the time bc when things like this do inevitably happen it's difficult for me to look past the areas I view as shortcomings . but messages like this do help to put everything into perspective dsghjfh i try to remind myself that most people will look at a drawing once and nowhere near as in-depth as me having worked on it for however many hours.

idk if i said anything in all that but tl;dr thank you for your kindness and reassurance i rly appreciate it <3

[msmargaretmurry]

ok first i have to come in by saying tnno is one of the best things i've ever read. anyways this is a super super indulgent request so feel free to ignore but would you happen to have anything else in your wonder twins activate doc that you wouldn't mind sharing 👀

hi anon, sorry for taking a few weeks to get to this! i don't have a lot more shareable content in the wonder twins gdoc, but could i interest you in some wonder twins backstory? and i'll put a little snippet from a scene after that ❤

kev is a middle child (older brother, younger sister, all pretty close in age); he is from small-town alberta and played his junior hockey in saskatoon. he was drafted high in the second round. of the pair, he is both the more fastidious and the more chaotic one. he has a tendency to care more about other people than about himself.

tanner is from the ottawa suburbs and he played his junior hockey with the 67s. he has one older sister who is several years older than him; she also lives in toronto now, for work, so they get to hang out sometimes, which is nice. he was a fifth-round draft pick who had a big breakout season in his draft+1 year. of the pair, he's messier but a better cook, and quieter and more introspective in comparison. he's slow to anger but if provoked (say, if someone takes a headshot at his bestie) can occasionally go apeshit.

they met when they were on the canadian world juniors team together (tanner did not attend the draft) and just clicked immediately. their world juniors team does not correlate to a real world juniors team because i'm too lazy for that, but they won silver in a heartbreaker, and promised each other they'd both be on the leafs the following season so they could play together again. kev had been having kind of a slump of a season but was :) somehow inspired :) to step it up and had a great run in the second half. both their teams went to the memorial cup, where neither won the tournament but tanner's team beat kev's, so he has bragging rights, but he doesn't use them too often.

-------------

“You’re still up,” Kev says, sounding surprised even though he’s the one who called. “It’s like three in the morning there.”

“Yeah, the guys are all passed out, but I couldn’t sleep.” Feeling his way through the dark cabin, Tanner finds the den, then follows the wall until he hits the side of the sofa. He flops onto it, letting his feet dangle over the arm. “I’ve been really restless lately. Thinking about the season starting and stuff.”

“You’re restless?” Kevin laughs. “At least you got rookie camp! I’ve been wasting away alone in bumfuck nowhere Alberta since May.”

This is not strictly true. In June, Kev went on vacation in Miami with some buddies from junior, and he’s regularly made the 90-minute drive to Edmonton to see a PT specialist there. He’s been on several trips to Banff to go hiking and get drunk on Lake Minnewanka. Also, Kevin loves bumfuck nowhere Alberta. He owns more Carhartt than anyone else Tanner knows. 

“Okay but, speaking of, how is the shoulder?” asks Tanner.

“So much better,” Kevin says, and launches into an explanation of the training and therapy he’s been doing. He’s very upbeat about it all, detailing everything his doctors have said, his timelines and prognoses, and some excruciating specifics about the ligaments in his shoulder. They thought at first he might need surgery, but he decided to try rehabilitation; Tanner fielded a lot of early-summer facetime calls to talk through his concerns that it wouldn’t work and the team would be pissed he wasn't ready for the season. But he’s feeling good — he’s started doing some light stickwork, and he’s confident he’ll be ready to go come training camp.

“You better be,” Tanner says. “Rookie camp sucked without you.”

“I don’t know why you even had to go. Everyone knows you’ve got a roster spot already. Well, I guess it’s good for the kids to have a grizzled vet around to teach them how to be.” Kevin sounds so genuinely thoughtful as he works through this that it makes Tanner grin up at the ceiling. 

“Most of those guys are older than me, idiot,” he says. “Except like, the brand new ones. And I do have to earn my spot, you know.”

“No, you don’t. Your spot’s on my line.”

“Oh, you’ve already decided that?”

“Yes,” Kev says. “I’ve had a lot of downtime this summer. I decided on the whole roster.”

“You know McDavid’s not coming out of retirement to center you, right?”

Kevin huffs. “Obviously not. Stromer is centering us.”

Tanner is struck by the urge to ask if Kevin has seen the picture Dylan posted from France. Except Tanner was just looking at the comment he left on it, so it’s a stupid question. He shoves it aside and says, “Sounds good so far. Tell me the rest.”

[indiejones]

OF 1940'S BOLLYWOOD'S CHILDHOOD FRIENDS -TURNED- (DIRECTIONLESS & LITERALLY NAMELESS) NEW PESHAWARI KIDS ON THE BLOCK! - OF VASUDEV & RANBIR ! ... OOPS ... YUSUF KHAN & SHRISHTI NATH ! ... OOPS ... DILIP KUMAR & RAJ KAPOOR!

Did you know that the Dilip Kumar- Raj Kapoor friendship goes back not just to their childhoods growing up close by in Peshawar, but to literally several generations back, with Dilip's Dad being best friends with Raj's Grand-Dad ie Prithviraj Kapoor's father, their ancestors in fact having grown up in the same locality all life.

Infact 'tis via this friendship with Raj's grandfather, Lala Basheshwarnath, that Yusuf's father came to crystallize his dislike for the acting profession as a whole, letting no opportunity pass by in unabashedly criticizing his friend's son Prithviraj's wayward ways, in front all & sundry incl Yusuf, in a profession that he regarded of loose moral values & low prestige, this outlook also borne of his staunchly orthodox Muslim views on life, also simultaneously being heavily politically involved in Muslim politics, alongside the Ali brothers, & a big supporter of the Caliphate Raj idea itself.

So anyway, once in Bombay to try his luck (for as he narrates, "any job available whatsoever in Bombay Talkies" (the story leading to which we've already narrated in our Dilip Kumar-Ashok Kumar blog), he landed up bagging not just any, but the main lead's role, for which was also offered a certain pretty handsome salary price. But what really set his interest going, was that this sum, was much much higher than the salary being received by his good friend & only person he really knew even remotely from the movies then, Prithviraj Kapoor's son, Raj Kapoor, who he was in regular touch with, & who'd been working as an Asst Director in the same studios for some time too! Which is why, as he humorously recalls, unaware of the (perennial) hierarchy btwn Assts & Heroes, he had to get it re-confirmed from studio bosses, whether this offered sum was a monthly or yearly figure!

Next problem though, remained in informing his father of this new job placement, which he knew, would be totally & utterly against his express & strongly held beliefs! And so, afraid of his father's wrath, decided to not tell his family of his new job placement, as long as he could avoid, a very important turn of events in the story, to what was to follow next - the naming of the new hero, a routine affair in Bollywood back then!

Studio bosses came up with 2 alternative names, Dilip Kumar and Vasudev!

Dilip recalls his immediate reaction being, "Anything but Yusuf Khan pls!"

He amusingly recalls, how he too, just like the whole world, would learn of his new, & forever re-christened name, from the morning papers of a month later. And Dilip Kumar was born!

Also re-birthing his old childhood bond with Ranbir (birth name Shrishti) now re-christened Raj from their kiddy Peshawar days, a time he would fondly recall in interviews many decades later, of those nascent times of 1945-46, when both these to-be pillars were yet wannabes-

Dilip says: "Both us friends lived in constant fear of what'd happen at the studio each next day. And he (that's Raj, being an Asst Director, & incharge of more petty matters) would keep harping on small things & what all could go wrong, & I'd keep scolding him for always bringing it up & spoiling my mood."

Dilip continues- "I also had a fondness for watching good films, many many times...upto 3 theater shows a day, & that repeated for many days, if a film fascinated me enough. While Raj was not of the same view. He found the repetition confusing, moreover and thought it a waste of time. I always defended myself, by pointing to the quality of films (intl & natl) being watched by us here, & the value of our purpose. Anyway, what I imbibed from my observation, as one starting out, was the minimal amount of acting being done. I recall him saying once, "Listen,what we'll do is change it. Do it differently, this & that..", & I immediately reacted, "NO. I WILL NOT DO IT. I JUST WON'T!" "

How was History to know, while one became the grand "Showman"of Indian Cinema, the other would go on to be called the loveliest & among the Greatest Method Actors the world's ever seen!

[thecaptainsbunk]

had a moment last night i could very clearly feel the healed parts of my brain and it was weird.

recap for those who haven't read my mental breakdowns on here, or don't follow my main: i have many mental illnesses because i was neglected or otherwise treated badly for most of my life. One of the symptoms of these is the huge big depression rumination spiral that happens when any number of things that might go wrong does.

A lot of the things that trigger me are Normal Fucking Human Interactions. This probably has something to do with the Autism. This is neither here nor there.

Another thing that can trigger the depression spiral is sub-drop.

You're starting to see why this is here and not on my main now, yes?

Guess what happens when those two things collide?

yeah.

I'm gonna... figure out a patch for the sub-drop cause I am sort of still feeling it a little, and I'm not sure masturbating it away is going to help as much as I want it to lol. I mean don't get me wrong, that's absolutely something I'm doing later probably but i'm going to try not to use it as a mend for the actual problem I'm having because I could accidentally make it worse instead, I probably got super lucky the way it panned out last night.

Cause guess what happened last night.

Listen... I know what happens when I cum. I know. I'm the easiest slut and the subbiest sub this side of the Mississippi (i assume), I'm just, y'know, don't have a lot of takers on the offer as it were. But hey, I can get myself to sub-space just fine all by myself.

I just have to make sure there's a plan to catch myself and last night the plan... faltered a little. Mainly because I had not communicated this was necessary and also because of timing. It was late, everyone was tired, rough evenings had been had, it's been a long stretch of stressful shit, there's more stressful shit in the world to get taken care of, stuff's just happening.

So I wasn't expecting to have to do anything more than just the usual night time routine to catch myself from dropping and because the usual routine hit a small snag in the form of Sudden Intense RSD due to circumstances I am aware are not actually the issue, the drop happened shortly thereafter.

And I desperately tried to slide into the normal spiral. The spiral that takes me down into the worst parts of my psyche and tells me all the horrible things I believe are true, and that everyone hates me. Like I was actively aiming for the spiral at one point and I just could. Not. Get there.

My brain kept turning around and reminding me those things weren't fucking true and to say them was really mean about the people in my life actually.

DO you know how fucking weird that is? do you even understand how it feels to be cock-blocked from your own menty-b you control because your brain says that's too mean to everyone involved including myself?????

It's not perfect. Just because the spiral didn't happen doesn't mean the effects aren't still there. I did manage to get it up again, as it were, and take care of business, as it were to try and get the endorphins back running enough so I could just go straight to sleep and skip the possibility of a 2nd sub-drop (mr. president etc. etc.)

I've had a handle on my inability to have a good time post orgasm for a while now, at least that it's a Thing That's Specifically My Brainchemistry and not something people are doing to me - that's a separate type of traumatic sub-drop i've experienced, different entirely from what I usually go through for the Normal Style and masturbation levels of sub-drop. I know how to catch myself most times, and I can avoid it for the most part if I sleep immediately afterwards (assuming my dreams cooperate, if the stars are misaligned i'm fucked lmao).

And sometimes if I'm feeling especially self-hate-y I will entertain the sub-drop and subsequent extreme depression that can sometimes carry on for a couple days. Not dropping as much and also having generally a better life over all has reduced this urge for self-destruction by a lot but I was kind of feeling it last night.

except that I apparently wasn't.

I kept trying and trying and it just... my brain kept saying "no, that's not true. Reframe it. Look at it again. Remember that this is different now. Use the new rules" and turning me around, over and over again.

I reminded myself that i was stressed out - see aforementioned long-term stressors that aren't going away as quickly as we want for the whole family, my usual mental health struggles, the upcoming election, learning my sister's going to have a baby, I am currently extremely conflicted and so of course my brain is going to latch onto the negative things.

It's just never had so few negatives to latch onto and then use Actual Logic And Reasoning to talk itself out of.

And I think the main reason this has never worked before, aside from all the hard fucking work I've been doing to fix my goddamn brain and make it happier over all, is because i'm not being gaslit by anyone here. No one is trying to change the way I'm seeing the world, no one is trying to tell me my perceptions are wrong (well- I need to figure out a way to communicate my needs on that one, but like, it's a non-issue because it's not intentional, it's not manipulative, it's desperately trying to get me to be nice to myself and sometimes I just cannot but like. I get it. I'll figure it out).

My world is more stable just by virtue of being surrounded by people who aren't actively trying to make me see the world only specifically their way and no other ways. There's still stuff that like. yeah I wish some stuff worked differently than the way it does in my life, and the whole disabilities thing is...crushing most days more than it isn't. but like... at least i know the way that the world is is real, and not like... whatever i'm being fed. I think i could tell that the thigns I was being told and the stuff I was seeing didn't match up, and I think it really affected me a lot more than I realize sometimes.

Plus side, I have now identified two important things I need to work on: plans for post-nut-drop and being open outside of the breakdown on why flat pushback on my negative world view and self-esteem during breakdowns is not actually helpful despite the best intentions, and may be actually making shit worse in the moment that I can't effectively communicate *during* the breakdown. So there's that.

And, y'know, hey the healing is working. It's super unsatisfying to not go all the way down the spiral the way I'm used to because this is the only other way I know how to get through the drop is to just ride it out, which is what is currently happening right now. I'm just....gonna have to figure out how to use my words. And maybe pick a better time than today for the hard conversations.

[notori]

CR Thoughts - As of C3E68

Personally, I've always been more invested in character-based stories than world-based stories. And I get it, that is a personal preference and it's up to me to curate what I consume. But it has made me pick up on the thought that, at least I feel, since mid-C2, CR has shifted to more world-based stories over character-based stories - *For the most part.

TL;DR: Really hoping for some RP, shopping, and merriment.

What I mean is, I feel like from mid-C2 onwards, it's been a lot of "The world happening to the characters" and less "the characters happening to the world." I understand that, in certain doses, the "We are up against something massive and bigger than all of us beyond comprehension!" plotline is exciting, but after a while it just gets so overwhelming.

Like Ashton said, odd jobs are good, you have a focus and it's clear. And I wish that they would shrink or slow just a bit to allow for some more inter-character RP overall.

Yes, I am an Imodna shipper whose favourite across all CR is Laudna. However, I still say that from an objective standpoint, the episodes where they were trying to get her back were some of the best because they were so character focused. They had a goal that was meaningful and personal. Everything with the gods is causing so much feet dragging because, aside from FCG (and even then, it's limited), there isn't a personal connection between the gods and the characters. I feel like this is the wrong party to have this plot for. It's going to be impossible to get them to focus because all but one of them will just go wherever their friends go because that's what matters.

So the plot needs to shrink a little and focus for them. It isn't to say that everything with Ruidus can't still be happening or can't be the main thing overall, but we have very down-to-earth characters with minimal stakes (or minimal understanding of those stakes).

The past few episodes were also very good because there was a clear task for Orym. A character had a personal connection to what was happening, and everyone worked together to help. It wasn't for the gods, or the titans, or Predathos - it was to save his family, flowers or no flowers.

Going to see D(evexian) has the potential to be that moment for FCG, and going to the Shattered Teeth can be that for Ashton. But it could also easily turn into something too big for them to reasonably think about and handle, and we'll be spinning our wheels again. Because when things get too big, like fighting a god-eater on the moon, it starts to lose meaning.

Connecting with fiction is often about connecting with bits and pieces and imagining a what-if scenario. It's why character-based stuff works well, because, fantasy/magic or not, we can all relate to concepts of love, betrayal, camaraderie, friendship, play, jealousy, etc. It doesn't matter if the characters have unreal forms or abilities because the themes are relatable. However, when we are constantly against some form of "This is way bigger than you, you can't possibly hope to defeat it." you either need characters who are motivated and hopeful (VM/M9) or you have no choice but to give up and say "Well shit, I guess I can't do anything about this so I might as well live chaotically until we die" which is I feel is a lot of BH's whole thing. Which, I get it, relatable, but less emotionally impactful.

We desperately need some moments of joy and fun in C3 - and right now we have the potential for it. If the angle is going to be "We're in it for our friends" then we need to see them just being friends. Friends, as in, not "I can't let you die because it will cause me too much pain", friends as in "Remember that silly thing we did together?"

It's not even just "More RP episodes plz", but specifically inter-party - possibly one-on-one/small group - interactions that have nothing to do with the world. Because we have spent episodes establishing that they are not in it for the 'world' (in the greater meaning of the concept), but are in it for each other. But why? We know, meta-wise, what a lot of their deals are, but we need to see it in-game. Why are these people friends?

I'm not denying that they are, I'm just saying that a lot of it seems to have taken place during time skips. Most innocuous moments have been cut for the sake of keeping the plot rushing along. Moreso than VM and M9 have there been moments where they go to bed and I get all set for at least a few to talk over the night, and then the time passes. Sometimes multiple nights in a row if they're just speeding it up to the next big thing. But it's in those moments that we really connect to the characters who are on the line when the world comes for them. We have seen a lot of why the Hells are codependent, not necessarily friends.

And you can have a party of codependent non-friends in a game! But then the premise for them working together needs to be solid where they all have a personal stake in the matter. If the group motivation for 'doing the plot thing' is "For the sake of my friends!" - then we need to see more of those innocuous, light-hearted, joyful moments of friendship. Not heated desperation to not lose someone in the middle of a conflict.

I'm not saying get rid of it, either! We just need those moments in between.

Anyway, long post. Lot of thoughts. I have so many conflicting emotions about C3 because it's given me some of my favourite characters overall but sometimes man... I just want to see them live.