#needed to treat myself with something quick and easy

[stealyourblorbos]

1 hr study

[threadsun]

Real quick, not because it's come up or anything, I just want to be pre-emptive about it:

Remember that I'm not the world's leading expert in anything, including kink. Remember to take things I say with a grain of salt and do your own research. I never want to be one of those people who styles themself as an expert and is treated as some sort of guide/leader. For one thing, that's not a power dynamic I'm comfortable with. I'm here to make friends and have fun and spread my love of RACK, not be in charge of anyone (save for moderating the discord).

I happen to know more about queer identities, disability, and kink/bdsm/safe sex than the average person just because they're the three areas I've studied a lot and that most affect my personal life in various ways. But that doesn't mean I'll always be right about everything, or that I'll get across my knowledge well, or that you should just listen to everything I say and take it as fact.

Especially when it comes to kink and bdsm, you should never be teaching others about it just from what you've learned from me, nor should you be practicing it if I'm the only source you've gotten your information from. As a general rule of thumb, never get all your information from one source or believe people just because they usually know what they're talking about. Look for multiple sources, do your own research, remember that there's always going to be different perspectives and everyone has blindspots they don't know about.

So yeah, idk. I just don't wanna be creating weird power dynamics just because I happen to know a lot about kink and like to share my knowledge. And I definitely don't want people engaging in irl kinks based only on what they learn from me, because I've barely brushed the surface of what you need to know before you can safely engage in kink.

Also just because I tease and flirt does not make me anyone's dom. I don't engage in play without negotiation and trust (and friendship or money). If I'm flirting with someone, it's because they've consented to it and they can revoke that consent at any time. But I will never try to engage in actual power exchange here, that would be irresponsible and once again create a power dynamic I'm not comfortable with. I have my limits, and I'll make them clear, so never worry you've accidentally broken them without knowing. And don't worry about trying to defend me, I can defend myself.

[fatal-blow]

actually speaking of that "everything i love causes carpal tunnel" shirt i know! a muscle that causes carpal tunnel-like symptoms!

the bad news is that it's the underside of the shoulder blade, but the good news is that once you figure out how to reach it, it's quite easy to release!

anyways meet the subcapularis

(all images taken from Myofascial Pain and Dysfunction (3rd Edition) by Travell et al)

the subcapularis helps pull the shoulder forward and rotate it inwards, meaning it's involved in many activities which cause the much dreaded carpal tunnel--yes, even though it's nowhere near the wrist. the anatomy of the shoulder makes it easy for nerves and vessels to get compressed, causing all sorts of fun symptoms like pain, tingling, and cold fingers.

this is the referred symptom zone:

obligatory i am not a doctor, just very autistic about musculoskeletal pain, and can't guarantee this massage will help your carpal tunnel symptoms, but I will say that uhhh every time I do this for myself i can feel all blood and sensation rush back into my arm, and it's always best to try massage before more invasive stuff like surgery

--

1. Find a spot where you can sit, feet planted on the ground, and lean forward and rest your head on something with your arm hanging down between your legs. This will slide the shoulder blade to the side of the ribs, where you can reach the underside.

2. Above is what the subcapularis looks like with the surrounding muscles. Using your fingertips (you might wanna cut your nails) or your thumb if preferred, find the bony edge of the shoulder blade, and start poking around the underside.

3. You'll most likely only be able to reach the edge of the muscle, but that's enough! When you press into it, you will probably feel like you're reproducing your symptoms. Don't worry; you aren't hurting yourself and in fact this means you're in the right spot! Massage it gently, enough to feel it but not enough to wince, until you can't find anymore painful spots (or until you feel better, sometimes you can't get it all in one session).

3.5. If your pain increases overall, don't do it. Though pressure should elicit symptoms, this type of massage should provide pretty immediate relief, and if it doesn't then either some other muscle(s) is involved or it's not muscle related at all.

4. Finish up by rolling your shoulder back, like you're stretching out your chest/reaching behind you, a few times. It's normal to hear clicking--good, actually, that's the sound of your body realigning.

5. I recommend doing this at least daily, even after the symptoms have eased, until it's no longer sensitive to massage. Keep in mind that this muscle has been overused, and that the muscles that oppose it have weakened. It will keep trying to tighten up again until the weakened muscles have recovered, so you need to actively treat it and keep an eye out for habits that cause you to roll the shoulder forward.

And that's it! If you intend to resume carpal tunnel inducing activities ASAP, see if you can take a moment every 30 minutes or so to do a quick shoulder stretch. This helps prevent the muscle from tightening, and you only need to spend moments to do so. Quick breaks like this actually go a long way towards preventing injury, and help you keep working without interrupting the flow to go do some body maintenance :P

[azulock]

doing something simple to ease myself back into writing as my hand is finally healing

fell first vs fell harder

Reo Mikage - falls first

If asked this question he would deny the answer to the ends of the earth - in his mind it's the other way around, he is the one who fell harder. But that's obviously coming from his own issues with his self worth, he can't fathom the idea of someone loving him more than he loves them back. It's utterly delirious. But he is such a hard worker that it just comes true.

He falls quick and easy, he isn't quite so good at putting up emotional walls like he thinks he is. Anyone who knows him can see it too, he's a sucker at hiding it too cause when he falls for someone he puts his all into it. It's not about the money, it's about the effort, the care, the dedication. No winder it's easy to fall harder for him, but it's harder to convince him of that.

Michael Kaiser - falls harder

It's kinda hard for someone like Michael Kaiser to ever imagine loving someone other than himself. He's the main character and everyone else is secondary to his existence, so it gives that he's the only one deserving of love. He just never takes into consideration that being loved can be like a drug.

Kaiser seeks sex like a need for the body and the ego. But if someone is patient enough to stick around and treat him like he's truly loved, his walls come down pretty badly. When he loves someone, it's with twice as much intensity as anything he does. He'll never be caught saying it out loud, but when he falls for someone, he loves them more than his own self.

Shidou Ryusei - falls first

Shidou is a weird guy, with strange tastes, not someone that easy to impress. Tho, that comes from his best quality, being true to himself. And in this way, he knows exactly what he wants, and he isn't scared of it, nor is he scared of confronting his feelings. He's the type that when someone points out his crush to mess with him, he shoots them down to just owning up to it.

Tho, that's not to mean he falls easy, and beyond that he is something of an acquired taste. But he's a good one, a guy without fear of making the first move and showing his hand when he feels the time is right. It's actually pretty candid in a weird to see someone who looks like a maniac admit his feelings so easily. It's just makes this weird more of a catch.

Oliver Aiku - falls first and harder

It seems like a far fetched possibility to everyone, including himself. Anyone fucking this guy who still has two functioning braincells knows better than to let their feelings get swayed by his easy charm. Too bad, that's what attracts him - Oliver is drawn to the challenge of someone stoic to his charms, a prize that's worthy of effort.

Tho, saying he fell first comes with a caveat: he's the last one to figure it out. All his friends notice but his brain can't see it - when the truth sinks in, he's already waist deep. He does try to manwhore his way out of the problem, but like quick sand the more he fights the deeper he sinks, and in no time he's neck deep. By then, even he knows the only way out is through.

@tinnaagine @loser-vxbez @kiurona @bentolover @bevernats @weirdbutpr3tty @ada7201 @vollereix @rinitosh @kum1ko-chan @romanticizemai @oneandonlykuronacuddler @borisbq @priv-rose @eliezeer @elisacarynia @gigiiiiislife @isagispuzzlepiece @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife @qichun @fivenightsatwhoreville @geemyfirstluvstory @lecrow-y @yunxbin @mariyumemi

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 3

Part 2

Steve thought he was doing a very good job playing it cool as Eddie drove them to his hotel. He didn't squirm or reach out for him at all, just letting him take the wheel to wherever it was. He knew there was one tell he couldn't control though. His scent. And Eddie wasn't so stoic that he could pretend to not notice.

He reached over with one hand and squeezed Steve's thigh. Steve bit his lip and looked out the window, knowing that if he looked down, he'd break and spread his legs to let Eddie's hand wander. He was no stranger to car sex but typically the car wasn't moving.

A sigh of relief came from him as they got to the building. It was a nice place but Steve didn't see much of the lobby. Eddie used his key card to get in through the back and right up to the elevator without needing to pass by the front desk or anyone. Steve was glad for the discretion but especially when the elevator doors closed and Eddie pushed him against one of the walls.

Steve had been so preoccupied with his own reactions, he hadn't really noticed Eddie. But it was hard to ignore now. Very hard.

"It ain't easy keepin' my hands off of you", Eddie whispered in the breath that laid between them. Even now, while his body was pressed to Steve, his hands were against the walls, crowding him in.

"I don't remember asking you to do that", Steve said. He put his arms around Eddie, slipping them under his leather jacket in the process.

Eddie's head dropped down onto his shoulder, kissing him where he was clothed at first, but then working his way up to the bare skin on his neck. When he got close to his mating gland, Steve's breath hitched and his legs spread a little. His eyes focused and he realized he could see their reflection in the spotless steel that surrounded them. He was able to see very well how Eddie was drinking him in, able to feel it by the erection trying not to move against his hip able to smell it every time he took a breath.

It was so easy to get lost in it, especially when Eddie grabbed his hips and pushed a leg between his own. But watching them get heated reminded Steve of something.

"C-cameras."

"Hmm?" Eddie looked up at him.

"The elevator cameras. Aren't they-"

The soft ding of their floor opening up interrupted him. Eddie pulled away with a grin. He turned his gaze to the camera up in the corner and winked.

"They won't do anything unless you get really egregious", Eddie said while taking Steve's hand and leading him to his room.

"You do that a lot then?" Getting hot and heavy in a public place, Steve meant.

"Only around the kind I can't control myself with."

Eddie kissed his fingers and that just felt...it felt too affectionate for what this was supposed to be. Steve knew that this celebrity had just promised an exotic beach somewhere but he knew better than to take someone's words at face value, especially someone with money. This was just a quick romp because he was someone new with a nice face. Eddie would forget about him the moment Steve snuck out in the morning.

Any thoughts on the morning after were stopped when Steve got a look at the room. Spacious of course, with a big window that spanned one side of the room that screamed 'fuck you' money. The sparkling view of the city was one that Steve had seen before, but it had been a while. And never before while he was so relaxed.

Eddie didn't stop Steve as he walked over to the window. If anything, it gave him an opportunity to ogle that behind. And to also mentally scramble for what he should do next. The tent in his pants clearly had ideas for his next move, but surely he couldn't just bump it against Steve and put him in bed. Did he offer him a drink? A snack? Maybe he'd want to go to the bathroom first?

How did one treat a potential sugar baby when you were trying to entice them? His hands and feet did the thinking, taking him right over to Steve and gently grabbing him from behind.

"Like the view?"

"It's easy to forget how beautiful the city is when you only see it from the ground floor", Steve said.

This man deserved to be sky high, in the clouds, floating on air so his feet never touched the ground, Eddie decided. Steve turned in his arms and kissed him, tongue swirling around while his hand moved between their bodies.

"You've had this for a while." Steve's hand lightly stroked him through his pants.

"You can't be doing much better", Eddie reached out to cup Steve through his clothes, relishing the breathy moan he let out.

Steve knew Eddie wouldn't feel how wet he was through two layers, but he almost wished he could.

"Let's get you to bed, baby."

Eddie said it calmly, but the way he nipped at Steve's lips and the trail of clothes they left on the way to the bedroom said otherwise. Steve was down to his boxers briefs. Meanwhile Eddie was, frustratingly, only topless. When Steve sat on the bed, (covered in the most luxurious bedding might he add) Eddie immediately knelt down and got between his legs. As he kissed up Steve's thigh, he grinned against his skin.

Not only was he in the thick of Steve's scent here, he could see the wet spot on his underwear. Eddie used both hands to pull them off and cursed under his breath when Steve spread fully, revealing his dripping cunt. Eddie wanted to bury his face in it, cover himself in Steve's juice and have the scent cover his own. Let anyone take one look at him and know just from a whiff that his face had been the throne of this angel.

He swallowed, forcing himself to reign it in before he scared Steve off. He kissed his other thigh and met Steve's eyes as he took his first taste. Steve let out a soft moan and Eddie kept going. Steve was hot and sweet and tasted like heaven. Eddie felt like he could write an ode to how soft his lips were. Steve's sounds of pleasure and the thought of making this beautiful man cum on his mouth spurred him on.

"Eddieee", Steve moaned, tugging at his hair. "Eddie you're gonna make me....

Eddie hummed, eyes closed, lost in his other senses as he rubbed a finger against his hole now, slowly pushing inside while his lips closed around Steve's clit.

Steve tossed his head back. "I need...I need...."

Eddie pulled back just enough to talk, his breath floating against the pretty pussy before him while he was two fingers deep. "What do you need, sweet thing?"

"To cum with you inside me."

"Hmm, so you're saying you don't want me to finish playing with your button here?", Eddie teased, his thumb circling his clit.

Steve's eyes rolled back but he was determined. He squeezed around Eddie's fingers. "Just wanna be filled by you. I need it, Eddie."

Eddie pulled his fingers out and Steve got on all fours, ass up and presenting himself. Eddie's mind went to dangerous places as he scrambled to undress the rest of the way. The first was that Steve's cunt looked delectable and he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like during his heat. And then that thought was followed by how perfect any pups birthed by Steve would be.

The most dangerous thought, one he had while rolling the condom on, was that Steve's future pups could be his. Eddie rubbed his tip against Steve's folds, getting it nice and wet. Then, unable to help himself, he pressed the head of his cock against his clit, swirling it in circles and smirking as Steve bucked back and slicked dripped from him.

"Don't tease", Steve warned with a look thrown back. "Alpha."

Eddie growled and draped himself over Steve's back. "I'm 'alpha' now?"

"Only if you fuck me like one", Steve challenged. Any sort of cockiness dropped the second Eddie started to push inside of him. Steve's jaw dropped and he gripped the blanket tight.

If Eddie could write an ode to how Steve's cunt felt on his mouth, he could create a sonnet to how it felt around his cock. The words in mind started out very flowery before devolving into a nonstop stream of goodgoodgooood.

Steve could feel Eddie's knot bump against his hole. Even though he felt the words bubbling up, he knew better than to beg for it. It was a little much to get knotted on the first time. But god, Steve wanted it. Wanted it to plug him after Eddie filled him good. Wanted it to catch.

Eddie let out a small sound, something like a whimper and Steve realized his inner thoughts had become his outer voice.

"Shit, I'm not gonna last long if you keep talkin' like that."

"Don't want you to last. I want you to cum, wanna feel it." Steve's back arched and he wriggled his lower half, fucking himself on Eddie's cock. His pants got short and fast as he got closer to the edge. Then Eddie reached around and started rubbing his clit and Steve swore he stopped breathing.

Eddie was so focused on the sound of Steve's cries when he came that his own orgasm snuck up on him. His hips stuttered as he spilled into the condom, keeping his knot outside of Steve's body with the utmost restraint. He'd get him knotted up soon enough. Eddie would make sure of it.

To be sure, Eddie got up while it was still a little dark. Steve seemed like a runner. Eddie ordered some room service and ran a bath. He caught Steve in the process of trying to find his clothes in the dim light just before sunrise.

"I was just-"

"Come here, beautiful", Eddie held a hand out and led Steve into the tub, climbing in along with him. "I can't let you go without taking care of you, Stevie."

"Taking care of me? Or taking care of me?", Steve asked with a grin as Eddie massaged his thighs underwater.

"Can't it be both?" Eddie had let Steve get comfortable between his legs and with his ass brushing against him it was probably going to go both ways anyway. "Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you." Eddie kissed at his shoulder and moved his hair to kiss at the back of his neck.

"Are the answers in my skin?", Steve teased while leaning back into his chest.

"They say people used to search for answers in the starry skies. And you've got plenty of constellations on you." Eddie finger-walked from one shoulder to the other, using Steve's moles like stepping stones.

There it was again. A gesture, or a phrase that made this feel deeper than what it was. Steve couldn't stop his heart from fluttering but he could stop himself from getting his hopes up. "So, what did you want to ask about?"

"It's more of a proposition, really." An indecent proposal if there ever was one but Eddie wasn't about to let societal expectations get in the way of what he wanted. "I know I already asked last night, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

They had said and done so much last night that it took Steve some time to pinpoint the exact conversation. "You mean when you asked for something not serious but exclusive?"

"Yeah." Eddie took a breath. Nothing left now but to actually say it. "You ever have a sugar daddy?"

Part 4

Because someone asked, this'll eventually be on ao3, as most of my tumblr fics end up there, but it'll be some time before I start uploading this there.

Tag Team

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @marklee-blackmore @dragonmama76 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @sllooney @starman-jpg @oxidantdreamboat @xxbottlecapx @chaosgremlinmunson @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord @beckkthewreck

[silkscream]

CHAPTER 11: POISON ROOT

ੈ✩ gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru x reader

It disgusted you a little bit, needing them like a fiending addict. Living with yourself and yourself alone was starting to get old, though you aren’t sure how much left of you feels whole. You were always fruit split in between a blade, all the gory parts splayed out by the hand of someone greater than you.

ੈ✩ chapter cw/tags: explicit content (18+ mdni) , unprotected sex, drunk sex, threesome, oral sex, cumplay, phone sex, mentions of depression, angst, descriptions of mild gore

ੈ✩ wc: 7k

ੈ✩ a/n: here's a nice and fat chapter for you before we enter The Dark Ages <3

playlist ✸ read on ao3 ✸ series masterlist

“Sorry, what?”

Yaga scowls at you and you’re unfazed. Mostly, you’re exasperated.

“I’ve repeated myself twice already,” he says calmly. More so brusquely, but you didn’t care enough to gauge his reaction. You’re too busy processing his words.

“I—I know, I’m sorry,” you mutter. “But why me? Shoko’s technique is way stronger than mine.”

“Shoko’s technique is not your technique. And unlike her, you actually engage in combat.”

“Because the boys forced me—”

He brings a hand to your shoulder in an attempt for reassurance. You freeze.

“Your technique is remarkable. Stronger than you think,” Yaga sighs, almost in resignation. He doesn’t seem particularly enthused about what he’s proposing to you, but you consider that you’d probably worn him down over the past half hour.

He rolls his eyes at the look on your face. Mouth parted like an animal struck with fear. 

“But—”

“There hasn’t been anyone with a technique like yours in over ten years. I remember it. I had a family friend as a teacher here first—she talked about a boy that could regenerate cells. Practiced on plants and small animals as a child until he was able to resurrect bigger ones at your age.”

“That boy isn’t me,” you protest, your brows furrowing.

“He isn’t,” Yaga snaps back. “He died, and his death could’ve been prevented. This is why I want you to do this. I want you to be strong enough so that the same thing doesn’t happen to you.”

You swallow and look down, pretending to be interested in your thumbs. Your hands are delicate compared to anyone else’s. You had always admired people who could make something out of nothing, people who sculpted, crafted. Sometimes, you often wonder if what you do could be considered the same.

You haven’t told anyone, but it’s easy to destroy things with your hands. Much easier than it is to build anything up, to heal. 

You’d tried it during long walks through the forest. On your way back from solo missions, you’d take routes that were less traveled, needing to clear your head. Once or twice, you remember finding animals that were victims of hunting. Broken limbs, bleeding out too much for you to save. You’d practice the darker parts of your technique, letting quick rot take away their misery.

“For how long?”

“Just two months. July and August.”

You take a deep breath. You could be alone in Kyoto for two months. The boys would survive. At least, you think Suguru would.

When you tell Satoru the next day, it’s a disaster.

“You’re what?”

“Satoru,” you warn, crossing your arms. 

Dealing with him is arduous. You knew he would react this way. He looks at you with irritation, nipping at your bare thigh just to see you pout. You were in the middle of reading when he had barged in, craving the scent of your moisturizer on your inner thighs. Needed the whipped softness of your flesh squeezed in between his hands after some heated sparring with Suguru.

“You can’t.”

“That’s not your decision—”

“You can’t. What did that old man say? Some other guy had your technique and died?”

“I’m not going to die!” you huff, rolling your eyes. 

Satoru frowns, his blue eyes glowing. He was free of missions for the past week, treating you to dates whenever he could. It seems that you’ve ruined his bliss. That ugly thought in his head festered in his mind again — the need to possess you. Trap you in a glass cage to stay alive forever like you were his enchanted rose.

“Like hell you won’t,” he mutters. “Which is why you’re staying.”

“I want to get stronger, Satoru.”

“You didn’t even want to be a sorcerer in the first place! And now you’re desperate to train with your little cell regeneration? Are you gonna dabble in necromancy?”

You frown at his condescending tone. He isn’t taking you seriously. He never does. Satoru has always had his way of belittling others, but he’d sworn to never do that to you given your history. You take a deep breath.

“It’s just… an independent study, alright? This could help me in the future. I could go to medical school with Shoko or something, you know? If you’re so scared of me dying because of combat, then I could just focus on the regeneration part and—”

“And what about the other part? How you make things rot and disintegrate?” he asks you incredulously, nearly snarling.

“That’s another thing I can learn to control.”

“But–”

“I didn’t have private lessons like you! I’m not a prodigy like you. Can I just have this one thing?” you plead with exhaustion. You can see the way his eyes flicker with a quiet rage, his mouth turned down into a pout. Petulant even at his big age.

Satoru sighs heavily. He nuzzles his face into your hand, kissing the heartline. You almost feel proud of yourself for not giving into him before the conversation began. He’d come into your room wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves messily cut off, exposing the hard lines of his stomach. Just a gaze had ripped away your autonomy, brain dumb at the sight of him. 

You wanted to lick him clean before he opened his damn mouth.

“I won’t tell you what to do,” he says in defeat.

“Thanks.”

You sit with him for a while, staring at the ceiling, hair strewn around your pillow. Silence fills the air save for the sound of his breathing. Eventually, he curls into you, nose into your bare shoulder as he mumbles unintelligible things. His mouth in the shape of I’ll miss you.

“I know,” you murmur. “I will, too.”

Suguru copes by getting buzzed in the daytime. He liked the hope on your face, how the light hit your eyes in a certain way. It meant something more. He knew that you were worth more.

Lately, Suguru feels like less.

Not particularly less than anyone else, though he knows that he’s certainly less than Satoru just by default. He remembers the mission all too clearly—it’s the only thing that haunts his nightmares. The blankness on Satoru’s face, his willingness to kill a group of people just for the sake of it.

He thought he’d lost Satoru forever, that he’d fucked up the mission by letting a bullet go through Riko’s head. But then, of course, Satoru survived. Of course Satoru found a way to bring himself back to life. Everything should be fine, because Satoru came out alive, and so did he. So did you.

It didn’t feel like enough. The taste of curses started to get worse, if that was even possible. Suguru has been starting to believe that he didn’t deserve anything palatable. That the universe was working against him maybe, because his depressive spirals last longer now.

And you’re fucking leaving.

He knows he can have you whenever he wants, but he likes to lick the taste of you out of Satoru’s mouth. 

He bites Satoru’s lip and it makes the boy yelp.

“What the hell was that for?” Satoru pouts. Suguru only grins wolfishly. 

“Thought you wanted me to make you feel better. You don’t like it rough?”

“Of course I like it rough,” Satoru grunts. “But you know I hate teeth.”

“On your dick.”

Satoru pauses, rolling his eyes, then sinks his teeth into Suguru’s neck instead. 

“You smell like a dive bar. It’s fucking 3 pm.”

“Day off, bitch,” Suguru mutters.

Satoru pushes Suguru against the mattress and spoons him, rutting against his ass. It’s always a little violent with them. You used to joke about it—something about dogs and masculinity. Satoru kept wanting to fuck like it was a cage match. Bull-headed, annoying. For Suguru, intimacy always felt like a car crash no matter who it was with.

“You’re not fucking my ass,” Suguru mumbles.

Satoru whines childishly, of course.

“Ran out of lube.”

“Spit?” Satoru begs, his eyes comically large.

“Fuck you, dude,” Suguru scoffs.

“I’m trying!”

Suguru turns to fall onto the bed facing Satoru, then shoves his head downward. He feels numb despite his throbbing cock. He knows Satoru’s mouth is probably watering for him.

“C’mon,” Suguru slurs, unzipping his shorts. “You need to work on giving head.”

“Hey!”

“Not my fault she does it better than you.”

Satoru huffs but leans over the end of the bed anyway, his limbs too long to crouch on the bed. He spits on Suguru’s cock and pumps agonizingly slowly, coaxing out guttural sounds vibrating out of the boy’s throat.

For once, Suguru feels a little powerful when the Jujutsu world’s boy-god chokes over his dick. He looks down and pushes his head down, reveling in the sound of him gagging, throat slack. Not as good as you, but getting better. The drool makes him look pretty. It matched the glazed look in Satoru’s eyes.

Suguru nearly finishes right then and there, the barbed wire inside of his body starting to untangle until there’s a knock on his door. Of course you knock—the polite girl you are.

“S’unlocked,” he calls after you. Satoru makes a noise. Something in between a moan and a sound of protest.

Suguru likes your wide eyes. You’re out of your school uniform, dressed in a white number with embroidered flowers at the hem that hits halfway above your knees.

“Oh… I—”

“C’mere, baby,” Suguru rasps, his hand reaching out for you. He’s so close, threading his fingers through Satoru’s hair before pulling at his snowy mop.

Satoru coughs, his throat raw. It makes Suguru laugh. You watch like you’re outside of your own body, eyes wide. It was easy for them to get you under a spell. 

It doesn’t take long for their hands to grope you, have your dress pooling at your waist so that your bare ass is on display. Heathens. Being with them was always like throwing yourself to the wolves.

“So wet,” Suguru groans, circling a finger in the heat hiding behind your underwear. “Wanted a proper send-off, angel? Gonna miss us all the way in Kyoto, aren’t you?”

You can’t respond when your head is already so dizzy with Satoru’s teeth on your collarbone.

“Don’t talk about that, I’ll lose my boner,” Satoru huffs. 

“What a baby.”

“Stop arguing,” you roll your eyes. 

Suguru decides to be selfish, his dick already out and pulsing from the tease of Satoru’s tongue. He slides it along your folds, wetness pooling right underneath him. It makes him groan, his insides white-hot. He’d been craving this since he’d woken up this morning. The heat was making his moodiness deliquesce into desperation burning like acid in his stomach. He needed you and Satoru like a bullet begging to be lodged, piercing out of a bannister.

“Not fair,” Satoru grumbles, his knees bent as he gropes you. Rutting against the mattress pathetically as he whines, his desperation puppy-like. 

His mouth is salty, leftover from Suguru’s precum. His hair smelled like Suguru’s too—he must’ve been copying his hair routine for the hell of it. It was enough to keep him close without asking to sew himself into the boy’s skin. 

Suguru looks down at you and your blissed-out face, vulnerable before he’s even entered you. Your mouth is wet from Satoru’s kisses, spit drooling out of the corner of your pink mouth. Suguru smears it around and already imagines himself pulling out of you to finish there instead, just to see it on your lips. He’d like to see you cry again one last time.

You hum when you’re filled with him. Stuttering hips hitting slack thighs. Soft despite the violence inside him, the little voice in his head taunting him to wreck you. 

He likes you like this, first. Daisy-soft, his fingers in your mouth until you gag. Yelping in time with Satoru’s stupid whines. 

“Twigs,” Satoru breathes, his hot breath fanning your jaw. “Can I put it in your ass?”

You groan, shaking your head as Suguru howls with laughter. 

July, 2010

Gakuganji has you on a leash. It hasn’t even been a week and you’ve already gone on two missions, each that ended with you covered in blood, but luckily unscathed. Satoru would have a fit if he knew. The ghost of him hovers on your shoulder at your weakest moments — taunting you, challenging you. You know he wouldn’t be as cruel if he was with you physically, but your psyche conjures him in a way that feels like punishment. 

You can’t escape him, either. He’s needier than you expect — visiting you during off times during your weekends, treating them like serendipitous encounters. You don’t believe him, and you shouldn’t. 

(He warps to you when he gets in fights with Suguru. When he gets too horny to find someone at a bar, because if it’s not Suguru, it’s you. But he could never tell you that.)

You like to keep yourself busy in Kyoto. Whether it’s immersing yourself in your studies or practicing your technique, you can occupy yourself easily, even if you’re bombarded by images of veiny hands, long black hair, pink mouths. Blue eyes that are too bright, even in your dreams. 

You spend most of your time by yourself, anyway. It’s what you need. If not that, then you’re at the local bars with Utahime-senpai, who transferred to Kyoto months before. 

“Are you their little plaything?” she teases. You’re loosened up after a few beers, all on her tab, but the mention of the boys sobers you up immediately. You scowl.

“What?” She holds her hands up in surrender. “Everybody knows… Shoko kind of already told me.”

“Of course she did,” you snort.

“I’m just saying, you should be careful. They’re insatiable. And never in their right mind. I could advocate for Geto-kun, but I’m sure Gojo’s already corrupted him.”

Corrupted. It’s a funny notion. You wonder if you’ve been corrupted by both of them. Satoru as your first didn’t bother you. To have Suguru as your second only complicated things. You haven’t known anything else but them. You aren’t sure if this should concern you until Utahime talks about it.

“They’re kind of the same in that way,” you mumble.

“Are they both your boyfriends?” Utahime giggles.

“N-No…”

“So it’s not serious? I know I’m not much older than you, but I still went through a few flings. You shouldn’t let them keep you on a chain.”

“They’re not–”

“Are you sure?” she laughs. “You’ve been checking your phone every five minutes. It’s like they brainwashed you.”

“Hime,” you frown.

“I’m just saying,” she shrugs. “There are lots of men around here staring at you.”

“No, there aren’t.”

“Someone is staring at you right now. Behind you. Blonde. Tacky if he wasn’t like, a little hot like he is.”

“Shut up.”

She gives you a pointed look that causes you to look over your shoulder. Lo and behold, there is a man of that description making glances at you with a cocky smirk. It reminds you of the way Satoru looks at you. It makes your stomach flip.

“See?”

“I’m going to the bathroom,” you mumble.

You move past the crowd to the single stall, plastered in posters from vintage porn magazines and graffiti. Your phone’s about to die, but the group chat with you and the boys has unread messages. It’s mostly Satoru complaining, arguing with Suguru about things that you couldn’t care less about. There are separate messages from them, too. Satoru’s suggestive selfies and Suguru’s words of affirmation. You scoff at the difference between them.

When you return, Utahime grins at you like she’s plotting.

“What did you do?” you narrow your eyes.

“He came over here! I knew it. He was interested in you,” she beams.

“What?”

“Relax. He’s a sorcerer. And I gave him your number.”

“Hime!” You shove her arm lightly, groaning when she laughs.

“You need to get laid by someone who isn’t an idiot.”

You roll your eyes. The many beers are making your head swim too much for you to actually be angry. If anything, your cheeks feel warm at the prospect of someone else being interested in you. It’s not something you’ve experienced in your youth, or now for that matter, since Satoru had sunken his teeth in you so quickly.

Images of him talking to other girls at parties flash in your mind, making you grimace. Maybe Utahime was doing you a favor.

The bachelor in question is nowhere to be found. You curse yourself for not getting a good look at him. A pit forms in your stomach at the idea of him texting you – a handsome stranger who watched you babble drunkenly to Utahime. It occurred to you that you hadn’t even considered yourself something desirable in a context that wasn’t bound to Satoru or Suguru.

On the walk home, the thought consumes you. You aren’t sure if you even know yourself without them. During most of your life, you’ve only known obedience. Intimacy with Satoru was no different, you realize. You were wrapped around his finger since you were children – it didn’t matter that you were apart for years. It would always be him.

You aren’t sure if this bothers you or not. You try to push the thought away, shaking your head slightly as if daydreams of him would fall out of your head. It doesn’t work, not really. You’re drunk. Naturally, you think of his pink mouth. The veins on his hands.

You unlock the door of your room. When you enter, darkness envelops you, which you’re used to, if not for the bright blue eyes that stare back at you. 

“Jesus!” you mutter, cursing to yourself once you can get the nearest lamp on. 

“What? Not happy to see me?” he slurs, flashing you a sloppy smile. 

“Can you at least give me a heads-up before you show up randomly?”

“That ruins the surprise, baby,” he purrs, walking over to you to set his hands on your hips.   Trapping you gently. 

“You’re drunk.”

“Hm?”

“You’re. Drunk. Why are you here?” 

“Had a mission nearby. Then I went to a bar to relax. And then, I thought, warping to Tokyo would take too much for a drunk. Why not stay here?”

“I’m not a motel.”

“C’mon, baby,” he pouts. “You’re not gonna kick me out, are you?”

You scoff, moving past him to sit on your bed and take off your shoes.

Satoru chuckles, taking a seat right next to you, thigh touching yours. “You’re drunk, too. I can smell it.”

“I haven’t even been here for a full month and this is like, the third time you’ve surprised me. What’s going on with you?”

“What? Can’t miss my lover?”

He says lover like it’s an inside joke. He never says girlfriend. Never partner.

“You’re so needy.”

“You like me that way,” Satoru says, his voice velvety. He’s not in his uniform, but a light blue button-down and slacks. You wonder if he’s planned this or if he dressed up for someone else, running to you as the safest option because you’re always there. Always willing.

You’d been ready to sink into your shitty mattress and dream of him. You hadn’t been anticipating the real thing in front of you. It was stupid, how he took your breath away, as if he was still something new to you. As if he hadn’t been in the back of your mind since you were a little kid, always.

“I’m tired, Satoru,” you sigh.

“You sure?” he grins. “You smell like beer. Still trying to have some fun tonight?”

You narrow your eyes at him and he laughs. He comes closer, pinching the meat of your thigh right under the hem of your skirt, chuckling when you swat his hand away.

“So short. Who’s this for, huh?” he taunts.

You swallow back an insult the moment you look down at the way his large hands play with a loose thread of your skirt. How large they are compared to your thigh, the calloused tips of his fingers running circles in your skin.

“No one,” you breathe.

“You cheating on me, Twigs?”

“Yeah, with Utahime,” you roll your eyes.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Sounds hot, to be honest.”

Your cursed energy flares. You hate when he belittles you, but you could never do anything about it. You could only fall into his trap, giving into him the way he knows you will. You don’t even notice that he’s caged you within his arms, his hands settling on your hips as his body backs you into your bed. The back of your knees hit the mattress.

His breath smells sweet. It usually does, but it’s something sour this time. Something citrusy, along with the smell of something much too alcoholic. One of those whiskey sours, you guessed. You don’t realize how drunk he is until you look him in the eyes, his blue irises unfocused despite the desperation in his gaze.

“Of course not,” he grins, leaning in to inhale your scent. “You’d never. My sweet girl. My best girl, right?”

“You say that like I’m one of many,” you scoff.

“Are you jealous?” he rumbles, laughing. “As if there’s any other girl I like as much as you…”

He says girl and you think of Suguru. An exception, just barely. You realize how much you miss him, too.

Your eyes flutter closed as Satoru backs you into your bed, teeth grazing your earlobe. You aren’t sure if it’s him or the drunkenness of your brain. You don’t even notice his fingers massaging your thighs, trailing up to hook your underwear to the side to tease your dripping core. It’s his teasing laughter that snaps you awake.

“So wet… did you know I was coming, baby? Or were you expecting someone else?”

You don’t answer. Your breath hitches at the contact of his eager fingers prodding you, pushing upwards into your pulsating cunt before you can protest. The wounded noise you make only spurs him on further.

“You went to a bar, right? Were you thinking about me when you were there? Got yourself all wound up?”

You don’t reply. He’s too busy pushing his fingers to the very edge, stimulating the spot that makes your knees buckle before you can even form a thought.

You gasp, your mouth parting. Slack-jawed, eyes rolling back as you get closer to the edge before he’s even inside you. It could be pathetic if you cared, but Satoru always made everything around you melt, like you weren’t in your own mind anymore. You accepted being a body that belonged to him, nothing more.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he breathes, his lips tickling your jaw. “You’re so quiet.”

“Satoru,” you sigh. His other hand rubs the small of your back, touching the bare skin underneath your thin shirt.

He digs his fingers in further, knuckle-deep until he hears you make a pained noise. He grins at your broken moan like he’d just won a prize. He doesn’t stop, either — he wanted to hear more of those sounds out of your mouth. It was proof that you were still his, wrapped around his finger. 

You try to catch your breath as you lay back on your bed, his strong arms hoisting you up to the wall. You hiss at the feeling of his teeth on your thighs, biting desperately. Satoru was already sweating despite only coaxing bliss from you once. 

He claws at you, pulling at the buttons of your blouse and tugging your skirt down until you’re left bare for him. He groans at the sight of your silky skin, the way your chest heaves in anticipation. Everything about you is ripe, ready to break underneath his hands.

He’s less vocal this time when he takes you, pushing into you before you can say anything. He doesn’t realize how drunk he is until he does this, considering every sense of his was numb until he entered you, igniting his synapses on fire. 

You whimper from the abruptness, aching between your legs. You think that you would’ve bled if you weren’t so in love with him, but you knew better. Anything from him made your entire body warm and pliant, wet beyond your comprehension. You hated it, sometimes.

But you couldn’t hate anything about it now. You were doused in bliss.

“My girl,” he slurs. “So fucking perfect. Say it.”

You mutter nonsense under your breath.

He bends you in half, your calves resting on his broad shoulders. He chuckles at your pathetic whines.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Fuck — I – I’m your girl,” you sob.

“My perfect girl,” he mutters, correcting you. He groans when he looks down at you, his hips stuttering. His thrusts are harder than usual on purpose — he’d rather die than tell you that he’d only warped to you because he was having a panic attack in his room alone. 

He thought he could get his mind off of you, off of Suguru, who he’d assumed was angry with him all day. There were only dry texts from the both of you. No woman at the bar could compete, even if he managed to get a decent handjob in the bathroom. He could only think of you. 

Satoru knew you’d hate him for it. He was disgusted with himself. He feels it now, aching inside the cavern of his chest when you moan his name, knowing he doesn’t deserve a praising word out of your mouth.

He whines, on the verge of tears as he rides out his orgasm in your cunt. 

“Shit,” he hisses into the skin of your neck.

You can barely reply before he kisses down your stomach, licking himself out of you with his nails digging into your thighs.

“Satoru, what are you—oh, fuck—”

“Cum for me,” he slurs, lapping at your clit as he pushes his fingers into you. He pauses, mesmerized at the way his cum drips out of you, only for his fingers to push it back into the hilt, up to his knuckles.

You sob in protest, your thighs shaking as he plays with you. He doesn’t stop for a second. It’s almost as if he doesn’t realize you’re there, his heavy-lidded gaze fixed on the way your pussy swallows his fingers.

“S’too much,” you whine, grasping his wrist tightly.

“Fuckin’ love you,” he murmurs under his breath. You don’t hear him. Your body convulses as he continues to play you like an instrument. He only stops when he looks up to see tears pricking your eyes.

“S-Satoru…”

“Fuck,” he mutters. He finally retracts, licking his fingers as he looks at you intensely. “Mine… you’re all mine.”

The glassy look in his eyes is from the alcohol, you assume, but there’s something tantalizingly too real about the expression on his face. Raw with something he only buries inside his gut. He snaps out of it like it’s not something you’re supposed to see. 

He grunts when he lays his head on your lap, his fingers digging into your skin possessively as you tremble. You prop your head up on your pillow, trying to catch your breath as you stroke his hair.

“Why’d you get so drunk?” you ask quietly. “Were you alone?”

“Of course I was,” he scoffs, almost defensive. But he smells a sweetness on his skin that isn’t from you, and he knows you’ve already picked up on it. 

“You could’ve texted or called me instead of breaking into my dorm.”

“You just hate fun,” Satoru mumbles. 

Despite his attitude, he rubs his cheek against your thigh like he’s a pet. He thinks about taking you again, just to shut you up — enough to have both of you sweating, the musk of your sex drowning out any remnants from the bitch that Satoru had tried to use hours before.

Nothing could replace you and he had to live with that. 

He nips at your thigh, his mouth getting dangerously close to your core. You whine as you pull him back by his scalp, like the scruff of a dog. Satoru is always insatiable when he’s drunk, which is saying something considering what he’s like sober. His cravings for you are always intense. When he’s not in his right mind, you’re more considered prey than a craving.

You don’t have the energy to respond to him. His warmth satiates you for now as he locks his arms around your bare waist. The light breathing fanning your stomach calms you.

When you wake up, he’s nowhere to be found, but there’s a small floral arrangement on your desk. White orchids and blue hyacinths.

August, 2010 

You hate bringing anything back to life as much as you hate desecration.

It’s unnatural — though you know that nothing about the Jujutsu world is natural. Everything to you is a myth you have to deal with. After knowing Satoru for so long and seeing what nasty curses humanity could birth, you shouldn’t be stunted.

It makes you feel a bit ill when you realize how much power your hands wield. As ordinary as you’ve always been, these days you often wish that you were the true epitome of it. Only human, unable to see the horrors of the world. Left in the dark when it came to sorcery. Perhaps you aren’t cut out for this, despite how much you tried to convince Satoru you were.

His voice echoes in your mind. His pleading. The ways he wanted to protect you. He’d belittled your technique for a reason, maybe. You aren’t sure you’re cut out for this shit.

Necromancy is only exciting the first couple of times. After that, it’s the reanimation of body parts that freaks you out. It doesn’t matter that it’s the revival of small birds and rodents on a lab table. You feel like you’re playing God and not even doing a decent job of it.

It catches up to you in your dreams. The image of you getting held down, leaving you to resort to your technique. Rotting flesh. Even in your unconscious, the smell is somehow striking, as if you’re really there. Other times, you find horror in the reanimation of corpses under your hand. Split limbs coming together. Limbs that belong to people you love.

Tonight, you’re shaken by the image of Suguru mauled beyond belief. Sacrilegious violence that makes your stomach turn. 

When you wake up in a sweat, gasping, the alarm clock on your bedside table reads 1:12 am. You dial his number before you can even come to your senses.

“Twigs.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

You hear Suguru chuckle, deep and sweet like teeth sunken into cake. You’re filled with warmth almost immediately. 

“What’s up? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” he breathes.

“Had a nightmare,” you mumble.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” you sigh. 

“Fine. What are you thinking about, then?”

“You,” you mumble.

There’s silence on the other end. Despite this, you can still hear his grin. You can see his little smirk perfectly in your head. 

“Yeah?” his voice lowers. “What about me?”

“Y-your hands,” you mumble. “You make me feel safe.”

“Is that right?”

You make a small noise that shows your agreement, but it’s noncommittal. You hum at the thought of him. You’re sleep-dazed, partially wishing for this moment that he was more like Satoru. Able to talk your ear off without any effort from your end.

Suguru had always known you differently. He had you memorized as much as Satoru did, but uniquely, given the similarities between your personalities. He knew how you worked and he never held it against you.

Satoru would probably try to pry it out of you. Suguru would already know.

And at this moment, he knows. It’d be infuriating if you didn’t see it coming.

“You’re upset,” Suguru says.

“No.”

“You are. Or you’re pent up, which is also like being upset. Need some catharsis?”

“Maybe,” you mumble.

“Tell me what’s wrong, then. Or tell me about your nightmare.”

“No.”

He laughs. 

“Stubborn as always,” he purrs.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” you whisper.

“You want to hear me be mean to you. You like not being in control. That’s what makes you feel safe, isn’t it, princess?”

“Shut up.”

“C’mon, baby,” he laughs. “Give me something to work with.”

Your eyes nearly glaze over as you watch the flickering lights outside of your dorm. A broken street lamp flashes on and off, shadowing your room in darkness only to illuminate seconds later, back and forth. Unpredictably so. You aren’t sure what else you should look at while you’re still so drunk on Suguru’s voice. You think maybe you’d handle this phone call better if you were far from sober.

“I fucked someone else yesterday.”

The line goes silent. Your heartbeat picks up.

After almost an eternity, you hear Suguru’s voice again. It’s soft, almost cooing. It feels awfully dangerous despite this.

“Yeah? Who?”

You swallow thickly. 

“This guy who got my number last month. Like, I didn’t give it to him — Utahime did,” you ramble. “But then we started texting and stuff and he’s… funny. He, uh, came over yesterday.”

“Did you like it?”

You imagine your throat closes up. Part of you wishes it would, that you’d just pass out immediately for no reason just so you didn’t have to have this conversation. You curse yourself for even bringing it up.

“Y-Yes.”

“You don’t sound so sure about that,” he chuckles.

“I am…”

“You don’t have to be so scared, baby. I know that Satoru took away your virginity, but he’s not some kind of god watching over you.”

“I know,” you huff.

“But you feel guilty, don’t you? Like you’re betraying him?” he teases.

You open your mouth to say something, then close it. You notice how he talks about Satoru and not himself.

“Do you care?”

“I know how you feel about me.” His answer is simple. Blunt. It almost sounds sarcastic, but Suguru often talks like he’s cock-sure about everything. Even if he isn’t, he’s always held a certain confidence that was different from what Satoru exuded. 

Satoru was a bad liar, to you, at least.

“Tell me about your boy. What’s his name?”

“He’s not–” you gruff. “Naoya. His name is Naoya.”

“That Zenin brat?”

“Huh?”

“He’s in the Zenin clan. A right bastard, I’ve heard.”

“He seems fine,” you mumble.

“Someone’s defensive,” he teases.

You pause, staring at the darkness of your ceiling. You fix your shorts, your fingers grazing the wetness of your core. You didn’t even realize you were aroused.

“I should go back to sleep,” you whisper.

“I thought you couldn’t. That’s why you called me, right? You need some help?”

“I don’t need help,” you scoff. “I just… I had a nightmare and wanted to talk to you.”

Suguru smiles. He knows you can’t see it, but he’s beaming in the darkness of his room. He’d been restless for the past few days after some disagreements with Satoru. He tried to blame the heat on physical altercations — the sun burning down to rev up the irritation in their shared systems like they were still boys. Always wanting to pin each other to the ground.

They didn’t have you to mediate, so they’d come out of arguments with bruises. Marks from skin tugged too harshly. The ghost of teeth biting down on flesh. 

“I wish you were here, babygirl,” he sighs, his tone desperate. You almost cringe at it — you always assume he’s playing with you.

“Yeah?” you snort.

“Mhm. It’s funny. You didn’t even wake me up when you called. I was already awake, thinking of you.”

“Were you, now?”

“Mhm,” Suguru hums.  “I just kept thinking about your thighs. How small your leg is compared to my hand.”

Your breath hitches and he almost laughs when he hears it.

“Can you do something for me, baby?” he asks. “Want you to touch yourself. Tell me how wet you are.”

You gulp. Your fingers prod at the hem of your athletic shorts, the nylon riding up as you squirm in your bed. Your index and middle fingers prod at the center of your core experimentally. You’re fucking dripping and it makes your breath hitch.

Suguru calls your name.

“I”m…” you stammer. “I’m wet. Why?”

“Poor thing. Maybe that’s why you can’t sleep, no?”

“I-I’m fine… I just—”

“You should play with your clit. Since I can’t be there to do it for you,” he breathes.

“What?”

“C’mon, sweetheart. I can tell my favorite girl just needs to relax. That’s why you called me, right?”

You whimper. It was maybe half-true. Suguru had stopped answering his texts as frequently as he usually did, and you missed the sound of his voice. The odd ache in your chest wasn’t something that you felt like exposing to anyone else, not even Satoru.

The silk of Suguru’s voice brings you back. You wanted to breathe him in, but he hadn’t visited like he said he would. Didn’t have the warping feature that Satoru had, which to this day, still startled you whenever it happened. Ocean eyes whipping your senses from thin air, like a lightning strike. 

Despite your recent gripes about him, you needed the both of them like you needed air. At least to make it all more bearable. It disgusted you a little bit, needing them like a finding addict. Living with yourself and yourself alone was starting to get old, though you aren’t sure how much left of you feels whole. You were always fruit split in between a blade, all the gory parts splayed out by the hand of someone greater than you.

You needed Suguru’s musk, his hair in between your fingers as he rocked into you. Your hands were too small compared to his. 

He has you panting, sweating through Kyoto’s mugginess. The dorms were in even worse shape here than on the main Tokyo campus, probably why Gakuganji was such a vapid old man. Everything was too hot and falling off the bone.

“I feel like I’m hallucinating. It’s like I can smell you through the phone,” Suguru murmurs, his voice like a mirage. You’d laugh if you weren’t so deep in your cunt, fingers pruning and pushed to the knuckles. 

Suguru knew you would do anything for him, so he made you torture yourself because he wasn’t there to do it himself.

Your groans are muffled from you smothering your face in the sheets, knees pressing down and ass up. Willing to humiliate yourself without him even being there.

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up already,” he chides.

“I’m not,” you whine.

“How many times have you cum?”

“None.”

He laughs. “What are you thinking about?”

“You know what.” 

You’re close to tears by the time he lets you cum. The sound of his voice hitting you deep in your core, insides permeated with the thought of him. Sweeter than smoked sugar.

It was the sound of his grunt that tipped you over, imagining him with black strands sticking to his high cheekbones with sweat. The apples of his face candy-pink. Where Satoru looked cherubic, Suguru looked like a girl’s first wet dream. 

“Were you touching yourself?” you pant, coming down from your high. You don’t bother putting on your underwear again.

“Obviously,” he groans. The vibrations of his voice made the speaker blow off-kilter like the audio of a shitty VHS. “Came all over myself.”

You could fall asleep to the sound of his static hums. The chaos in your gut is settled by the time your alarm clock strikes devil’s hour.

“How are things?” you ask sleepily.

“With me?” Suguru asks. “Fine. Same as always.”

“You sound tired.”

“It’s three in the morning, sweetheart,” he chuckles dryly.

“Mm. My phone bill’s gonna be so high.”

“Get Satoru to pay for it.”

The bastard probably would, if you asked.

You don’t get much out of Suguru for the remainder you’re awake. His answers are deflective and clipped. He hangs up by the time he hears you breathing, knowing you’ve fallen asleep.

He sighs in his room, rummaging for his pills. If nightmares didn’t keep him up, then the sheer unwillingness of his brain’s tranquility was often enough for him to run a graveyard shift. Stumbling in the dark, half-dead. He’d gotten productive in finishing the video games he’d started with Satoru by himself. Not much else.

His throat feels dry. He couldn’t differentiate the tastes of anything anymore. It all tasted like curses.

You keep having dreams about Suguru.

Tonight, there’s two of him.

One is the image you’re used to – hair swept up in a bun. Broad chest in his Jujutsu Tech uniform. Eyes crinkling into half moons.

The other seems to be an alter ego. A cursed version, one with eyes to kill and blood on his hands. Hands that are trying to tear you apart.

When you grip his wrist, you can see the imprint of your hand on his skin. Flesh falling away, much too easily. The air around you splinters like you’re in a glitched matrix. The Suguru you know and love falters beside you, his skin suddenly sallow. Pale as bile.

When you scream, nothing comes out.

Pseudo-Suguru smiles as your Suguru fades away into ash. You stare into his cat-like gaze, the familiar of his mouth. 

“Come with me,” he says. 

It’s the last thing you hear before your body wakes you up in a sweat. You gasp as you jolt awake, fingers curling your damp bedsheets. You’re further startled by the crack of thunder as a torrential downpour occurs without warning — unusual for late August, considering the rainy season had died down weeks prior. 

You sit up and reach for your phone almost automatically, your hands shaking as you go through your contacts. Your fingers hover over two names as you swallow thickly.

A few beeps follow the push of the call button.

“We’re sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

[megumiswife4]

More than just friends - Kento Nanami

Summary: You and Nanami had a great friendship, although he new you were looking for a companion who could make losing your virginity worth while; but would having him as your first be a great idea or would it ruin your guys friendship?

CW: 18+ only, Smut, fingering, slight masturbation, foreplay, penetrative sex.

WC: 4.5k

*ART WORK DOES NOT BELONG TO ME*

Being a virgin all throughout your young teenage years and into young adulthood having not yet been touched by a man. They say it's easy to be a woman, she can pick and choose who she would ideally sleep with; but in reality it was the opposite. It was even hard for you to find that one partner who could make something so intimate truly special. That’s when you met one man… Kento Nanami. One random evening at your favorite local coffee & bakery shop, it sure was a strange occurrence but needless to say it might’ve been one of the best encounters in a lifetime.

You've become such close friends with him that he even knew your deepest darkest secrets. Women around you knew who he was and were envious of the friendship you had with one another. Nanami could sense the jealousy and envy of the other women but paid no mind, you were the first woman to only feel platonically towards him and he respected that and your friendship with him. Nonetheless you both would spend day and night with one another, he would even offer to stay the night or have you stay in his penthouse at times due to you feeling a bit worried about being alone in your apartment. Nanami would often hear your scary encounters with perverted and disturbing men following you back home after a night out with friends, grocery shopping, or even just a late night walk. He was always by your side, regardless of what others had to say about the friendship.

Every week Nanami would meet up for your morning coffee date hearing the endless amounts of terrible Tinder dates; in hopes of coming across a man who would actually take you seriously, let alone sleep with you. Every single one of those men had proved you right and were just not a fit to what you were looking for in a one night stand or a potential partner. You wanted a man not a boy, especially at your bedside, one who will learn how to caress you just right, one who would treat you like a woman and not an object to smash and dash on the spot, and who will take pride in aftercare. As it being your first ever experience with a man you wanted it to be absolutely spectacular and once in a lifetime experience, but you’re just too afraid to pick the wrong man to do it with.

“Y/n you understand that these are all the wrong men right? I mean you’re on a dating app that mostly specifies for hookups that usually ends terribly.”

“Well yes, although that is what I’m looking for, I need a partner that will take sleeping with one another serious and treat me as a woman not just a quick fuck.” You scoffed in irritation.

Nanami let out a miniscule laugh, “Well it is safe to say, you haven't wasted that opportunity on a questionable man especially from Tinder.”

This topic had been ongoing for quite some time, you both knew one another well enough to talk about such things it almost seemed as if you two were dating at this point, and if it wasnt that then they would have already assumed you both would have been sleeping with each other.

“You know Nanami, you’re the only sensible man in this world who actually understands a woman and her desires.” Sipping your cup of coffee.

He leans back, one arm on the armrest, both legs crossed as he is holding his drink. “ To be honest with you, I am not one to share my personal experiences but because we are now close enough to disclose these kinds of things. I may or may not have some encounters with women myself.”

“Oh? Is that so Mr. Kento? So I'm sure you’re quite the ladies man then.” You playfully state.

“You’re not taking me seriously are you?”

“Well to be honest with you no I’m not, I mean you never even tell me how these dates even go?” You giggled.

You and Nanami began to hear a buzzing sound coming from the table, both of you checking your phones only to realize it was his, “It's a business call.” Standing up from the chair he paced back and forth speaking eloquently serious. The call soon ended as he made his way back to your table.

“I have a business meeting right now, would you mind having dinner tonight at my place? I’ll come by to pick you up after I’m off, be sure to have an overnight bag packed too.”

As he zoomed off, you were left with just yourself and your coffee.

—

It's now 5 P.M. and you’re wondering if he's off, constantly checking your stove top clock. An uncontrollably loud buzzing sound began, reaching for your phone. It appeared to be Nanami.

“I’m right outside your door, did you have your things packed like I asked you to?”

“Yes, all that was taken care of, I’ll be right out.”

Quickly opening the door, there stood Nanami towering over you. He was in his blue button up, a pair of beige dress pants, a brown belt and lastly a nice accent to the outfit; was his yellow tie that had black splattered detail. You held your bags ready to head out the door proceeding to walk ahead, you felt something similar to a brick wall hit your face.

“Who said you’d be carrying your own bags?” Nanami stated with an arched eyebrow.

You growled in annoyance, “It’s okay for me to do things by myself without help you know?”

Without hesitation he grasped hold of the bags before you could even pass through the door entirely.

“Thank you for trying, but I got it from here.” He clamored carrying your bags without a sign of struggle, if it was you, you might've made a fool out of yourself with your items at hand.

You followed his lead, locking the door behind you. He gracefully opened his passenger door wide open for you to enter the vehicle, as Nanami made his way around to the driver side after placing your luggage in the trunk; your view of him was nothing but his strong torso, and his muscular arm with his hand around the gear stick. Looking away as you catch yourself from the awe of his mere presence.

Both of you arrived at his penthouse, as he assembled your overnight bags in his room. You began to walk around curiously as if you haven’t been there more than a million times before, yet each and every time you still find it remarkable at how beautiful his sky view is from the main living room windows. Staring into the distance hearing a deep voice from behind startles you.

“It’s interesting enough that you always take a liking to that spot in particular, every time you visit me.” Nanami chuckles, removing his reading glasses placed onto the countertop.

“Back home I don't get such a beautiful view like this. Why wouldn’t I want to see this view everyday for the rest of my life?” You smiled, turning to face Nanami.

“Well If you still want to take that offer up, you’re more than welcome to end your lease at your apartment and live here with me. I have that spare room.” He stated.

“You know I can’t do that, I don’t want to feel like such a burden living in your place I…”

“You’re not a burden, I think we’ve established a great relationship and enough to know that we both feel comfortable with one another. Regardless I respect your decision, and if you decide to change your mind you know where to reach me y/n.”

Nanami’s kitchen consisted of a barstool area in the center. He offered to make a nice dinner for the both of you as you had offered the last time you spent an evening with one another. It was a beautifully medium rare steak with a buttered rosemary glaze over it, a dollop of garlic mashed potatoes as a side and sautéed asparagus as the second and final side. Your eyes widened seeing how gorgeous this entree came out, ready to stuff your face with such a delicious looking meal.

“Oh my god, this looks phenomenal Mr. Kento!” Teasing him but appreciative of his skills in the kitchen.

“I’ll only take your compliment if you finish your entire plate of food, I know you haven’t eaten all day since I’ve been at the office.” His face plastered with a serious look.

“Okay officer, my apologies.” You said sarcastically, raising both hands up signaling a truce. He couldn’t help but chuckle, hovering his fingers over his mouth. Knowing how you were, you were always getting a kick out of Nanami with your sarcasm and jokes. He never knew such a woman with a non-serious demeanor, always taking a liking for your sense of humor.

Nanami brought both plates to the small dining room near the kitchen, proceeding to pull a chair out for you to be seated as he slowly pushed you forward to be much closer to the table. You both sat across from one another enjoying the meal, you both talked away through the evening during dinner.

You both hadn’t realized the time it was, Nanami had a movie in mind for you both to watch until it was time for bed.

“Would you still like to watch a movie? It’s always our tradition to do so. But if you’re exhausted I understand.” He clamored.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I want to miss a great cinematic experience with you? Should I get the popcorn started? Possibly a nice shot of whiskey on ice for you?” You pointed at him with a finger gun hand gesture.

Nanami couldn’t help but chuckle and nod in approval, you knew him too well. Ever since you both grew closer to one another, it progressed into both of you being able to stay at one another’s homes, endless dinner nights, to coffee dates, and lastly even for minuscule shopping dates whenever he needed a new suit for work; you were always beside him.

Nanami always had special items placed for you around his penthouse. His guest bathroom included a space with hygienic items, from specific hair and facial care items to your own special soaps; he had bought out of his own curious observation from your apartment back home. He was a detailed man, he truly was enticed at your choice of products and he took initiative to be attentive without your knowledge of what you favored and didn’t. Some days you’d prefer to sleep in your guest room and other days you’d crash in his, but of course it was normal you both were close it didn’t seem abnormal for this kind of encounter. People from the outside would have thought you both were in a romantic relationship but that was far from the truth or is it really?

Both you and Nanami plop onto his modular couch, grabbing a hold of your favorite soft plush blanket over yourself. He switched the channel onto a streaming service to get to the film you both were anticipating to watch. Nanami had great taste for each type of genre for a cinematic film, and tonight was a romance/drama movie. Surprisingly he had a niche for romance drama films but rather he was discrete about it.

As time had passed you both were on your third film, one scene in particular appeared where the main character she was struggling to find a perfect guy to have her first time with, it landed between her and her best guy friend; of course it lead to confessing their built up feelings for one another and one thing led to another and the next scene included them having an intimate moment.

You began to wonder, if having your virginity taken away by your close friend who happens to be a guy is a good idea? As your mind wandered in thoughts of Nanami being a potential sleeping partner, it was so wrong but yet it felt so right in your heart and mind. You both understand each other to another extent that no one else would get, and here you are having none other than possible sexual thoughts of this man caressing your naked flesh on his bed.

Immediately your train of thought was disrupted by none other than Nanami. “Y/n are you feeling alright?” He calmly questioned.

“Y-Yes I’m okay.” You laughed nervously. You adjusted yourself sitting much closer to him; noticing the remote lying on his leg you proceed to grab it and pausing the film right in the middle of a steamy intimate session.

“Ugh! I mean how amazing could it possibly be having your virginity lost to your friend of the opposite sex?” You claimed, rolling your eyes laughing.

“I don’t believe it would be all that bad, generally it could be a good thing just because you both entrust each other and already have a great relationship at hand.”

He had a good point, the bond is already there between two friends, the feelings and tension however isn’t as close to the surface as you would think it would. You curled your legs up from the couch, leaning on your side to face him as a single arm was placed on top of the couch as you nervously looked up at him.

He questioned, “What’s wrong?”

“Can I ask you something?” You mumbled, as he nodded for you to proceed.

“This might be a weird request but… as you know I’m still a virgin.” Lowering your head in embarrassment.

“And… actually just forget I even ask-”

“So what you’re asking of me is if I could be your first time?”

Your cheeks flushed with a shade of red, bright as a cherry. You couldn’t hold back from feeling such shame, for asking such a thing but you knew he could be your best encounter for your first time.

“As long as you are completely on board with the idea, I’ll agree to make your first time as comfortable as possible for you.”

You nodded your head in agreement in hopes that this was a good decision on your behalf.

Not long after the awkward silence you immediately felt his large hand press against your lower back, and the other on your shoulder leaning you down on the couch he was now hovering over your innocent body.

“Is this okay with you?” He questioned making sure you were okay and consented with his actions.

“Y-Yes that’s alright with me.”

You felt your heart beating fast, was it loud enough for him to hear it too? The only light that luminated throughout the living room was the tv screen, nothing else. Nanami continued to loosen his tie as he was still hovering over your body, but nothing stuck out more than those large muscular biceps. Without a single thought your hand traveled up his arm copping a feel, all this time you only ever admired his muscular build from afar but this time you couldn’t help yourself but to touch him up.

“You know I never thought I would be able to finally touch your muscular arms.” You shyly chuckled.

He couldn't help but give a small smile, “Oh, is that why I would catch a glimpse of you admiring me almost every single time we would spend time together?”

Embarrassed, you propped both hands to cover your face to prevent him from seeing you smile. He knew your tactics when you became shy, it was clear that both of you might have unresolved feelings that began to surface.

Nanami took both of your hands gently pushing them aside as he leaned in closer to your face, softly brushing your cheek.

“May I?”

You nodded, “Anything you do from here on out is okay with me Nanami.”

His lips inched closer to yours as he kissed you so softly, your hands wrapping around his neck pulling him in closer for more. His lips slowly tugged onto your lower lip, they traveled below your chin and made their way to your neck. Nothing else could have ever prepared you for that feeling that you craved more of Nanami.

“If you don't mind, I will take this to the bedroom. It wouldn't be proper for me to have your first time on a living room couch.” He kindly chuckled, scooping you into his arms.

He entered into his bedroom as he placed you gracefully onto his cold sheets, as he began to slip his dress shoes aside his bed and unbutton his shirt a tad bit more. He motioned for you to sit at the edge of his bed upright guiding you with his hand, he leaned down to kiss your lips once again grabbing your cheek caressing it pulling you in for more. His hand finally pushed you into his bed once more as he hovered over your precious body, his hands grazing over your neck down to your chest, his fingers unbuttoning your white button up as your bra and torso now exposed. His lips met between your breasts leaving wet soft kisses everywhere, your whimpers enticed him more to make the crevice between your legs ready for entry.

“P-Please N-Nanami…” You moan as you begin to move your hips, turned on by his mere presence and foreplay you tried to remove the excess clothing on your body. You wanted him more and more, your hands traveling to your breast as you cupped it in one hand as the other was trying to remove your bottoms as it exposed the hemming of your thong.

“Let me take care of you y/n, you shouldn't have to worry about anything when I am here. It is my job to pleasure you the best that I can.”

Nanami slowly removed your shirt and bottoms exposing just your undergarment and bra now, you leaned upward unbuttoning his shirt helping him remove it, as it was your time to return the favor of exposing his body. Your breathing becomes heavy as time goes on, your heart beats faster and your pussy feels wetter. Your hands grazing his chest as you bring your face closer to it leaving miniscule wet kisses making your way up to his neck.

He brought you closer to his chest as he began to unhook the bra strap as it fell gracefully, your nipples were hardened and exposed he laid you back down into the cold sheets as he kissed the crevice between both breasts as his hand softly squeezed it. It soon traveled down your stomach, hips and finally your inner thigh, he softly rubbed the outer opening of your pussy making it throb; you pressed against his hand knowing you were craving more. Nanami continued to place kisses all over your body, he traveled down leaving soft kisses on your hips down to your inner thigh. Licking your thighs kissing them as he gently rubbed his hands on your leg, squeezing your hips as if he wanted you all to himself.

“Just relax princess, everything will be alright.”

He began to come back up for more kisses, his fingers pressing into the entrance of your pussy lightly rubbing it as you began to moan. Biting your lower lip as both of your eyes met, bringing your hand up to his cheek then quickly pulling him in for a kiss. Your tongue making an entrance as he tried to match your consistency, he noticed the lips in between your legs grew wetter after each rub. Nanami smiled in between each wet kiss you both engaged in, retracting disengaged your lips from his you couldn't help but gravitated your attention to the bulge pressing against his beige dress pants.

“Take them off for me.” You moaned, biting your lip.

He gently removed his bottoms and undergarments exposing his hard-on. Reaching your hand to grab it, Nanami groaned at the touch of your hand around his cock. As you began to slowly motion it up and down you felt it harden with each stroke you gave him.

“Mmm” his deep groan was so sensual you were ready to take him on. He adjusted your body to make you feel as comfortable as possible on his bed.

“I’m ready, I need you inside me p-please” you yearned, your face flushed red as your eyes glistening and your desirable whimpers, Nanami’s cock and heart were throbbing at the thought of being inside you. Afterall you were a beautiful woman inside and out he enjoyed your friendship with him but he would have never thought that you both would be uncovering a deep desire for one another in his own bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-Yes I’m ready for you.”

“As you wish, just know I’m taking it easy on you if you don’t like something just tell me darling.” Rubbing his finger against your cheek, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead making you feel at ease.

Your body relaxed, Nanami began to slowly spread your legs apart as he slightly spit into his hand and began to massage his cock preparing it for entry.

“Keep your beautiful eyes on me princess, I’ll guide us the whole way.”

“Okay.” You nervously said, grabbing his shoulders.

He slowly began to make his way inside your wet throbbing pussy, you felt immense pressure against your inside walls feeling euphoric but so good. Letting out a loud moan, pulling Nanami in your arms as you wrapped around his large back, lightly digging your nails into it at every thrust his hips made into you. Nothing but groaning and whimpers filled the entire bedroom, with every kiss he gave, your moans traveled its way out of your mouth. Your hands moved up running through his hair as you craved him more and more, he took hold of your wrists and pinning them alongside your shoulders. Your anticipation grew more with each withdrawal and re-entrance of his cock.

“Go…f…faster Nanami”

“Of course beautiful.” Brushing your strands of hair to the side.

As his cock kept at a minimum pace, he engaged much more, thrusting faster and faster. Your breasts began to move erratically with every entrance he was consumed by your beauty and the way you were just submissive to him letting him take the lead.

“Goddamn” Nanami groaned, cupping a single breast leaning over to lick and softly suck on your nipples. Sweat dripping from his forehead, his hair was no longer fixed up as it was now drooping over his face. You thought to yourself, he looked so captivating it was a new look that was never seen before. He was always having his hair fixed away from his face but it was different this time… you loved it.

His pace had slowed down as he grew a bit tiresome of how his speed increased at such a fast rate. Retrieving his soaked cock from your luscious folds, he took his time penetrating that precious pussy of yours. Nanami entered inside of you slowly as you whimpered and continued to slowly withdraw it back out feeling pressure from his long hard cock filling your lower abdomen. Nanami never failed to make you feel reassured and appreciated, someone he took his time with; rubbing his thumb across your cheek leaning in for passionate tongue kissing and never ending compliments that valued you as the woman you are.

“You’re doing so good.”

“You look as beautiful as ever.”

“I can’t take my eyes off you, you’re so captivating.”

“I love being inside of you, I can’t stop fucking you.”

You wanted him more and more just as much as he craved you, you grazed your hands over his abdomen and chest planting small wet kisses, guiding him to now be underneath you as you wanted to be on top. Your legs spread apart each one on either side of nanami’s waist, you pulled his hands touching your breasts to squeeze them and leaned down for him to massage and suck your nipples. Your hands touching every crevice of his muscles from his biceps, chest, and his abdomen, your tongue traveling all over it making its way to his neck and back to his lips. Your hips began to grind against his large shaft as your juices began to cover all over it, this wasn’t over. He slowly planted you accordingly on him as he brought his hand over his cock adjusting for re-entry as you grinded one last time you felt a shiver run through your entire body. Cupping your breasts in the palm of your hands as you lean your head back moaning, you proceed to lean forward and backward movements for Nanami’s cock to slide in and out. It was smooth and felt good.

“That’s it princess, keep doing that.”

Nanami couldn’t get enough of you, he needed more. He wrapped his arms underneath yours to reach your shoulders pulling you in quickly as his pace began to fasten, he was now taking over as his cock penetrated you. His hips thrusting up and down as one of his arms reached down to feel your ass, then traveling back up running his fingers through your hair. Instantly he withdrew his cock, as he grabbed you pulling you underneath him, he promised he’d be the one to please you and do his job diligently to make your first time the best experience and the only man to make you cum. For one last time putting you in missionary, and before you both finished he slowly thrusted his cock inside of you increasing his rate of speed more than usual that you both were panting and whimpering, one hand playing with your hair as he moved it downward to rub your rosy red cheek, he chuckled knowing even at your most vulnerable and being aroused you still were indefinitely a beautiful and charismatic woman in the flesh and fully clothed. That same hand reached up to his mouth as he licked it applying a generous amount of saliva, finally reaching his fingers down to your clit as he massaged it stimulating your nerves as he continued to thrust his wet cock fully covered in your wet pussy juices.

“Keep going Nanami I feel like I’m going to cum.”

“Awe fuckkkk” he began to say, as your pussy was too good he was close to cumming with you.

Leaning your head back into his pillow moaning loud, he couldn’t get enough of how beautifully sexy it was for you to enjoy him being inside of you; being overstimulated by his wet fingers touching your clit and his wet cock covered in juices from your throbbing pussy coming in and out. One hand of Nanami’s on the headboard as the other was right beside you as he had a few more thrusts left in him, sweat was dripping from his face. Finally one big thrust as he released inside of you oozing a warm fuzzy feeling, your body shivering and covered in goosebumps from hitting your peak of the orgasm. You couldn’t help but to pull him in for one last kiss as you both breathe heavily smiling at one another.

You both laid beside one another, Nanami turned over to pull you into his tight embrace brushing your hair and holding you tightly.

“I love you…” you quietly admitted.

Nanami pulled away to take a good look at you, to your surprise he indeed returned the favor.

“I love you too, I’ve been waiting to hear that for quite some time now. I couldn’t be too sure if your feelings were the same.”

You both couldn’t help to be in one another’s embrace, your first time was unforgettable.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Knock knock, whos there?

A reader who's very sad at how empty the Ftm Reader X Jason Todd tag is.

Can we get something sweet between the two of em? Maybe just something depicting a slow morning? Thank you if so, <3 Im longing for more food.

-🐊🪶

Jason Todd x FTM reader

Headcanons

Im basing the readers experiences off of myself, so it may not fit all trans readers and what they’ve gone through. I also gave them pet cats, because I love cats. The reader being trans doesn’t fill much of this, since it doesn’t effect their relationship a lot, but I hope you still like it.

On days where there we no plans, no druglord word, no Red Hood or batfam work, and you had time off from your job or classes, Jason and you liked to take it slow.

The two cats Jason had found on patrol one night laying splayed out on the bed like they owned the place. One was a very large tomcat with big puffy cheeks, even after being neutered, the second cat was smaller, scrawnier but so very long. They had smartly been named Tomcat and Longcat by Jason.

On days where you two liked to sleep in, you could find yourselves being awoken by the beautiful sound of Longcat yowling like was dying, because neither of you had filled their bowls on time. Tomcat was a big baby, but liked you more than Jason, so the moment Jason gets up to feed Longcat his spot is stolen.

Since he’s already up and his spot had been stolen by a cat the size of a medium sized dog, Jason just decides to start going about his day. He ends up finding outfits for you two for the day, and if you wear a binder hell ask if you want to wear one today or not.

Your handsome partner always gives you a kiss before leaving the bedroom, Tomcat tries to get in the way though. It just results in Jason giving Tomcat a bit smooch too, which the cat just wags his tail at.

You’ll keep lying in bed for maybe another 15 minutes, just snuggling with Tomcat and listening to the sound of Jason taking his shower and brushing his teeth, sometimes at the same time. Longcat is meowing the entire time of course, thinking that Jason is drowning.

You let Jason finish up before getting up, tucking Tomcat in after getting up as you should, before going about your own routine. After your shower you stand and airdry for a while if you have to put on a binder, since you can’t pull those on with damp skin.

This is where youll stand half asleep and brush your teeth, Tomcat and Longcat both watching you, one from the tub and one from on top of the toilet. Its also where Jason likes to come up behind you and just hug you as he buries his face into your neck for a bit.

The morning hug and kiss is needed for his day to go well, that’s what Jason says anyways. If he doesn’t get a kiss from you then his whole day is doomed to go badly in one way or another.

He makes sure to hug you before you apply your T gel if you use that, since he knows he isn’t allowed to touch you after applying it. Hes also an expert at helping you inject T if you need it, and you do it from home. Or if your injection point is still aching from your last injection, then Jason is your guy in making it feel better.

If you’re a breakfast person you two will go into the kitchen to make something. On days like this, Jason can be tempted to make a bigger for complicated breakfast. Most days breakfast is an easy and quick affair though.

Longcat is of course still meowing for treats, acting like he hasn’t been fed and like hes still a streetcat living on scraps. Tomcat is just your big hovering shadow, watching from the doorway into the kitchen with his tail neatly curled around his front paws.

You two end up just eating breakfast on the couch as you watch whatever you two can find, though its most likely a comfort show or movie, something you two have watched many times before.

Jason takes the empty bowls or plates into the kitchen before coming back, so you two can cuddle some more as you’re both still quite tired after Longcats very loud awakening.

Jason never minds what you wear or how you wear it, as long as youre comfortable, so you being trans doesn’t really make any difference in your guy’s mornings together. Just what Jason finds for you to wear, and if your hormone treatment makes any differences.

It’s very hard not to fall back asleep on the couch, especially as Jason pulls you to his chest and wraps a blanket around you both.

Tomcat and Longcat obviously quickly join you, both of the cats curling up in whatever nook and cranny they can find and purring up a storm, making both you and Jason more and more sleepy.

You both don’t mind that you fall back asleep on the couch together, since there’s nothing planned for the day, and what’s playing on the tv is something you both know front to back. It just feels nice to be able to let go and drift off again together, even if it’s not in bed.

[lunajay33]

Desperate🍂

Summary: Embry was your best friend since birth never a day without him and when he magically disappeared from your life it shattered your world, desperate to just see him one more time

Pairing: Embry Call x f!reader

•Masterlist•

Being born in forks with your twin sister Bella, it was a crazy start, mom hated it here and took Bella with her leaving me with my dad, the chief of police Charlie Swan, we had a simple life and I loved it we’d have supper together most nights talking about our days, he treated me good he never went a day without making me feel loved, when mom left taking only Bella, I remember her saying I was too much to handle that Bella was quiet and would be easy, after that I feel incredibly bad about myself but Embry was there, even as kids he was always there for me and I was there for him

Today we planned to go to La Push beach and have the whole day together so I got in my shared truck with Bella since she moved back now, and drove down to the beach

Parking in my usual spot and walking down to the beach, taking off my shoes I let the sand cover my feet as I sat in the spot Embry and I always hung out in, close to the water so the breeze from the ocean could relax us, he always said it was his favorite thing to do, just sit with me enjoy the moments we shared

An hour had passed and still no embry so I decided to go to the little shack on the beach and get an ice cream, after getting my favorite flavour I went back to the spot seeing Embry finally here, quick to sit next to him

“Hey Em what took you so long?” I asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist

“Sorry sweets slept through my alarm but we still have the rest of the day right?!” He said smiling down at me, over the last couple of months he’s shot up in height and has become way leaner and muscular

“Of course!” We spent the next few hours walking along the shore with our shoes off, walking through the trees near the beach, getting more ice cream since he was complaining how hot he was even though it was a typical cool cloudy day in La push

Soon he was turning more red and getting light headed then angry, which I’ve never seen before

“I have to go, I’m sorry” he said running to his truck and driving off leaving me confused, finishing the day early I drove back home where it had become gloomy, Bella was always screaming at night and dad and I would barely get sleep anymore, some nights I was allowed to stay over at Embrys to help

I hung up my coat and made my way to the phone dialing Embrys home phone, it rang and rang and rang, sighing I left a message hoping he’d listen and call me back letting me know if he was okay

I slumped down at the dinner table picking at the fries feeling like something was wrong

“You okay kiddo?” Dad asked from across the table

“Yeah it’s just, something happened with Em today, he might be sick I’m just worried”

“I’m sure he’s fine! He’ll probably call you in the morning”

“Yeah I guess”

It’s been a month with no word from Embry, I called all the time only getting word from his mom saying he’s severely sick but I couldn’t believe it, and now I know how Bella feels well felt, she’s been hanging with Jacob and seems to be getting better now I’m the gloom of the house

“Kid you can’t stay in the house all the time outside of school, go for a walk at the beach or something I know you love that” his words made tears bead along my waterline

“Dad you don’t understand, I need him it feels like somethings broken in me, he’s never done this to me before I mean did I do something wrong?” I cried into my hands

“Honey you couldn’t do anything wrong you’re my like sweetheart, maybe he’s just going through something, maybe go for a little hike get some fresh air”

“Fine” I pulled on my shoes and left out the back door walking the trail all the way till I got to the jumping cliff, Embry had taken me here many times because it gave a great view of the ocean, he once even set up a picnic for my birthday

I love embry I always have but I could never admit that to him and risk the friendship we have

After about an hour I was ready to leave when I heard a growl from behind me, turning slowly full of fear with the recent hiker attacks, glowing yellow eyes in the trees as it had gotten dark, but when I heard a whine my fear disappeared

“Hello?” I asked stepping closer

Another whine was heard before a huge wolf emerged from the trees and my breathe was taken from me, it came nearer pressing its snout against my palm as I started running my hair through its beautiful fur

“You remind me of someone, you’re so gentle, I had a friend he was my best friend, I loved him but he’s gone now, I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again if he ever wants to even see me again, I guess I just miss him” I don’t know why but spilling my heart out to this gentle giant made that weight of my chest lighter, the wolf licked my face before walking back into the woods

Another rustle was heard in the trees and a few seconds later the last person I expected to see came walking towards me, Embry but he was even stronger and taller and his hair was cut and a tattoo

“Em? Where did you come from?”

“It’s me well I mean…..that the wolf……it’s me”

“What but how you can’t be……” but then all the stories of the tribe I heard over the years came flooding back, descended from wolves

“By that look I think you already know, I never wanted to leave you god it killed me to be apart from you but that day……that day I got sick I was changing, there’s more of us, Sam Jared Paul, but it’s a secret you already know that, but when we change anger runs out entire life it wasn’t safe to be around you, I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you, but then I caught your scent out here and I couldn’t take it anymore I had to see you”

“But if it’s a secret why are you telling me everything?”

“This is crazy but, people in our pack we have soulmates, picked when we are born the person who’s our other half, each wolf has an imprint and when you see them it’s like your whole world changes everything is about her, she’s your life the one that keeps you going”

My heart dropped the way he was explaining everything sounded like he already found her

“Have you….have you already got an imprint, you’ve found your soulmate” I said my voice shaking as my lip quivered

“I have and I knew, I’ve always known it’s only ever been you, I love you, forever”

“Forever Em”

[trashmouth-richie]

for the hih bonus features can we get eddie x tooty first fight after everything happened 🥹💗

anon🫡🫡 i have been wanting to write something like this for such a long time, i hope you like it. ❤️

masterlist — one year of hih anniversary

you weren’t used to this. 

  the doting, the constant reassurance to see if you were okay. more doting. always a calm voice. Eddie cared—loved you bigger than anyone ever has, and you loved him equally as much.

  but something dragged, crawled against your skin in piercing talons when he treated you as if you were helpless, as if you weren’t capable of doing things on your own. 

  it came out in a snap. a bitchy tone that eddie hadn’t heard since the early days of being your roommate. 

  it startled him. and he froze, not sure if you were serious. so he looked at you with hurt eyes. “what?”

  “i can cut my own fucking steak, eddie.” 

  steve stopped with his lips pressed to his wine glass, scared to move, eyes wide bracing for the car crash that would take place across from the dining room table. 

  eddie sets the knife down, slides your plate back over to you, “just trying to be nice, baby.” 

  with a huff, and a screeching scratch of the chair carving the wood floor under your weight, you throw the cloth napkin onto the porcelain plate, leaving the room in a quick stomp. 

  steve whistles low, “i know those stomps, you’re in the dog house man,” he takes a generous sip of his wine, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “sleep on the pullout in the basement tonight… it’s not too uncomfortable.” 

  eddie rolls his eyes, throwing a dinner roll into steve’s chest, “you’re not helping dickwad.” 

  “easy” steve tries, “better go find out what you did wrong.” 

  “fuck.”

  he finds you fuming, wearing a path in the carpet in your shared room at steve’s, tears welled but not ready to fall. 

  “babe?” eddie asks, shutting the door quietly, unthreading his chain wallet from his jeans setting it on the dresser, “are you… okay?”

  “jesus christ eddie!” you snap, “i’m fine— more than fine!” 

  eddie looks at you blankly, “you don’t look fine.” 

  “oh yeah? of course when it comes to me, you have all the answers, huh?”  

  “the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

  im okay eddie! i don’t need you to constantly ask if im feeling okay, or if im comfortable or if i need anything!” 

  “thats what boyfriends do, babe.” 

  “No— no no no no!” you say pulling at your hair, frustrated beyond recognition, angry tears falling, “you treat me like i’m made of glass, like one step the wrong way and i’ll break! ever since i’ve gotten out of the hospital you’ve treated me like a fucking porcelain doll!” 

  “you almost died, remember that?” eddie says defensively, peering down at you, “i’m never going to forgive myself, or forget what happened, tooty—” his voice breaks but he swallows it down. 

  “we can’t keep living in the past eddie! it happened, it’s over with, i’m not a fucking little kid!” 

  he’s yelling now, voice angry and filled with sad rage, “i won’t forget! every single day— every time i look at you i think of what would have happened if i was there… how i could have stopped him!” he runs a hand through his hair in defeat, bottom lip trembling.

   “Fuck, i’m sorry for coddling you, baby, really i am— but right now.. the only thing— the only fucking thing— that keeps me from breaking down and wondering what a loaded gun tastes like—is taking care of you.”

  he grunts at the weight of you flying into him, holding him tight and sobbing into his chest, he kisses your head, his own cheeks wet, as he whispers, “ i’m just trying to makeup for what I couldn’t do that night, baby. ” 

  you kiss him deep smashing your lips to his, peppering i’m sorry’s all over his skin, pulling him onto the bed with you. 

  he’s silent when he cries, sniffling every once in a while as you comb through his hair, his body on yours. 

  you’ve been rubbing slow circles into his scalp. and his tears turn to small kisses

  “it wasn’t your fault eddie, it never was,” you whisper lifting his head in your hands and looking him in the eyes, “i love you.” 

  his face is red, eyelids swollen, “how? how can you love me after that?” 

  you press your lips to his, speaking the only truth that kept you from screaming into the void from wanting to let the grief swallow you whole,  “because you showed up.” 

[thepersonperson]

The Reproductive Horror of JJK Part 1 (The Loss of Bodily Autonomy)

Part 2

Notes before we start.

1) This analysis deals heavily with topics of nonconsent, grooming, abuse, reproductive manipulation, and pregnancy. Please proceed with caution.

2) This post was inspired by @hermitw

3) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

4) Written as of JJK 265.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface 

This was written with the assumption you've also read these other analyses:

Thoughts on Sukuna and Kenjaku’s relationship as of JJK 258.

Please give it a quick glance at least.

Quiet Horror

Jujutsu Kaisen is a unique piece of horror writing to me because the most upsetting aspects rely almost entirely on implication. Immensely triggering topics such as sexual abuse and rape are never shown, only implied. I personally have difficulty consuming/cannot consume media that depicts these kinds of things graphically, which is why JJK’s framing of it intrigues me. Rather than being sent into a panic, I find myself deeply unnerved. I’ve decided to call this “quiet horror” since I don’t know how else to describe it.

The quiet horror of JJK has been there since the start—the dehumanization, the loss of autonomy, the idea someone’s body does not belong to them and therefore ok to use… It’s right there in your face starting with Yuji becoming Sukuna’s vessel. But the horror is not just that those things occur, it’s that hardly anyone recognizes this as a problem.

These insidious ideas are persistent across the narrative and accepted. And its primary victims are the female characters.

Misogyny

The fascinating thing about misogyny in JJK is how it is rarely outright depicted. Characters will talk about generational abuse spawned by it, but we never actually see it in action until Naoya. And even that is mostly implied. 

That’s how it is in real life too. When people experience overt misogyny, it’s often when they’re isolated. For example a family gathering where the men leer at girls and say horrendous things is witnessed by only those attending. If one was never around this, the only way they’re made aware of it is by a victim discussing it.

And this is exactly what happens with the Zenins.

What’s troubling about this exchange is Momo laying out everything wrong with systemic misogyny and that’s it. She offers no solution to it because she has none. Nobara is told, this is reality and you need to accept it.

Mai falls into the same defeatist trappings, angry at Maki for trying to do something about it.

You can’t really hold this against her. She’s been abused to an extent Maki wasn’t aware of and Maki is the only person Mai can lash out at without consequence.

To be clear, it is heavily implied that Naoya molested her. Some of the first words out of his mouth are him sexualizing his underage cousins. And later as a curse, he taunts Maki for being an adult with Mai. 

It’s easy to dismiss this as Naoya mocking Mai for not reaching adulthood. However, Mai has incestuous thoughts about Megumi and Maki (seeing them as her first crushes per the fanbook), which can be a very unfortunate side effect experienced by incest victims (huge content warning for the linked source). Combine that with the knowledge of Naoya’s earlier sexualization and the implication is heavy.

Mai’s abuse is not the only one framed this way. Naoya’s mother is without a face or name. The only hint of her abuse is the word いっぱい (ippai) which means many. Naoya has many older siblings who aren’t named. He is the next head before Gojo’s sealing due to his Cursed Technique (CT) being the same as his father’s. From this it can be inferred his mother was treated like livestock and used by Naobito until she produced a worthy heir. 

Rika’s character profile is included here because her story is much like Mai’s—her abuse at the hands of her father is heavily implied. Her intense dislike of older men, being aware of predatory gazes as a child, and even using that for manipulation—these are all traits child victims of sexual assault may display (huge content warning for the linked source).

It’s hard to pick up on these things unless you’re in the know. But it is there and it is consistent. …And most of the cast doesn’t do much about it. Maki and Rika are different in that regard. They react to these transgressions violently, killing their abusers (and in Maki’s case the enablers too). Neither of them are in the wrong for doing so. It’s just really sad that they had to take matters into their own hands because no one else would stop it.

Hidden in Plain Sight

The misogyny female characters experience is very subdued and never graphic. Creepy behavior towards them is never shown outright, it’s all implied. We don’t see Naoya leer at Mai, we hear him discuss her figure in her absence. (I think that’s what helps make this less triggering. We don’t have to see them be victimized.) The same cannot be said of the male characters.

Ui Ui is a character that makes most people extremely uncomfortable because the grooming he experiences is in your face, pedophilic, and incestuous. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as a ruthless capitalist, Mei Mei exploits her brother this way for the sake of money.

Through warped affection she has convinced a child that his body belongs to her and that he is only to use it for her. 

What makes this situation go from bad to worse is that everyone around them just tolerates it. The most opposition we see to this relationship is Yuji side eyeing them. Otherwise people are more than happy to look the other way and even enable it by paying for their services.

This contradiction is especially glaring when it comes to Gojo, who very much is against the enjoyment of youth to be stolen away from his students. Why does Gojo pay for and tolerate this woman who is very clearly preying on her brother? Is it because Ui Ui seems happy with situation?

Well, I think it’s because he’s used to it too.

To acknowledge that what Mei Mei is doing as wrong and intervening would be admitting to himself that he was taken advantage of as a child. It’s not like it killed him, you know? He’s strong and he’s beautiful. Everyone wants him for his body. That’s just how things work.

In the fanbook Gege says that Gojo can never be fully honest with a woman. And that is a response to the question: “He (Gojo) seems to be aware of his own handsomeness, does he want to have a partner?”

It’s a bit concerning that Gojo is avoidant with women while having a history of them attempting to prey on him as a child. It doesn't help that in the Gojo Booklet interview, Gege reveals that Gojo would apparently be a sugar baby to someone much older than him if he didn't have to be a sorcerer.

The framing of these scenes as comedic is very uncomfortable. It’s a bit too similar to how male victims are portrayed in real life too. I’m not sure if this is intentional on Gege’s part, but regardless the result for me is horror. These terrible things are happening and nothing is being done about it.

Ui Ui and Gojo are taken advantage of by these adults because of what their bodies can do for them. This is a recurring theme in JJK not much different from how the women and girls are treated by the men of the Zenins. All of this stems from dehumanization that results in objectification. 

I’ve said before that Gojo and Sukuna are twin flames. And in this aspect they’re very similar I think. Something awful happened to Sukuna right in our faces and most of the readerbase didn’t take it seriously because he’s The Strongest and a man.

This is sexual assault point blank. A naked person forcibly put her body against Sukuna and he didn’t want that to happen. And just like everyone else, Yorozu did this because she wants Sukuna’s body for herself.

It’s framed like a joke, but the horror persists. Sukuna is going catatonic here in part because losing means entering a marriage he has no interest in. The implication here is distressing—Sukuna sees this as losing his bodily autonomy and being raped for the rest of his life. Likening that to death is understandable.

Hopefully you can see the pattern now. Sexual assault and exploitation is commonplace in JJK. It’s just subtle enough to make people vaguely uncomfortable without making them realize it’s ongoing theme. That’s the quiet horror of JJK.

The Dehumanization of Vessels

Vessels represent everything that makes my skin crawl in JJK. Someone’s body no longer belongs to themself—it’s a thing, a container that is for someone else to use. They aren’t even afforded the dignity of their name most of the time, being referred to as Someone’s Vessel by others.

Itadori Yuji

It goes without saying, Yuji’s dehumanization is the most blatant. He’s called Sukuna’s Vessel by most of the people around him and slated to be executed for the crime of existing as it. The other teenagers around his age are taught this dehumanization by those much older than him.

It’s absurd. Despite Yuji being born with and living in this body of his for 15 years, it’s suddenly not his. All because Sukuna “tainted” it.

And look at this declaration from Uraume: “Whose body do you think that is?!”

They phrase this as if it was never Yuji’s to begin with. 

On some level that is true, Kenjaku created Yuji to be the perfect cage for Sukuna. Uraume didn’t know that the time Yuji was literally bred into existence by Kenjaku to be a tool, but it’s interesting nonetheless. It’s even more interesting that Kenjaku is not the only one guilty of claiming a child’s body from birth for use by an adult. Tegen has a whole bloodline that gives them vessels for consumption.

Star Plasma Vessels

Amanai Riko is introduced as The Star Plasma Vessel while naked in a tub. Symbolically this is striking—she is a blank slate that can only be projected onto. Clothing reflects a person’s lifestyle, personality, and tastes. Riko being denied this in her introduction demonstrates her lack of autonomy. 

And just like how the Kyoto kids were groomed into dehumanizing Yuji, she is groomed into dehumanizing herself by the adults around her. It’s ok that she’s a vessel and someone else will use her body to live because it’s for the greater good.

Those aren’t her true feelings though. Deep down she wants to have her body and her life. And an adult still winds up taking that away from her. 

Isn’t it interesting how Gojo does this same song and dance to himself as The Strongest? Knowing this history and his adamancy towards Yuji’s autonomy (especially in the light novels) is all the more heart wrenching.

But this didn’t start with Yuji, it started with Riko. …on Tengen’s orders.

It’s strange that the individual taking away the lives of hand-picked young girls would be this considerate, right?

JJK never tries to frame characters as completely evil at all times. I appreciate that because it makes depictions of abuse far more realistic. We don’t see Naobito abuse his wife or enable Naoya, we see him half-drunk fighting like a pro without openly antagonizing Maki. If you didn’t know about the Zenin Clan, he’d just be a funny old man. This dichotomy is often why abuse victims aren’t believed. The people they tell only know the good side. And someone who is capable of that goodness can’t possibly be that bad. 

It’s the same way for Tengen. They’re not a creep that salivates over young girls, they’re a calm and reasonable individual who has convinced themself and many others that these actions are necessary. Yuki is the only person that calls them out for how screwed up this all is.

Before Gojo, she was The Strongest. And before Riko, she was the Star Plasma Vessel. Her body and her life was going to be given away in service to someone much older than her under the guise of a necessary evil perpetuated by religion. She rejected that and escaped her fate by becoming uncontrollably strong.

Yuki has every right to be this angry. What Tengen is doing is very messed up. All kinds of excuses and softenings are made for them, but in the end they are using the bodies of young girls to sustain themself. That’s why it’s all the more horrifying that these girls’ souls are still present and coherent enough to speak.

I really like that Yuki won’t let Tengen know what they’re saying. She’s right to assume that Tengen will just excuse whatever comes from it. However, the fact she’s this angry implies those voices aren’t anything pleasant.

Incarnation

The horror of being trapped in a body that no longer belongs to you doesn’t just exist for Tengen’s Plasma Star Vessels, it’s the very foundation of Kenjaku’s vessel incarnation. Which of them came up with this idea is first unknown. They ultimately do the same things to vessels but for very different reasons.

Incarnation works on two layers of screwed up:

1) The host’s soul is suppressed to the point where the invader cannot detect them.

2) It’s next to impossible to return them to who they were once before.

Following the quiet themes around sexual assault, this bears an uncanny resemblance to victims dealing with the aftermath of such an event. Your body no longer feels like it belongs to you, becoming invisible to those who favor the perpetrator, forever tainted after being used by another.

And following the quiet themes around misogyny, this becomes reproductive horror. A body stripped of autonomy and permanently changed after being forced to give someone else new life—Incarnation is a visceral depiction of forced pregnancies.

Pregnancy Horror (Kenjaku)

I think it’s deliberate that mothers in JJK are hardly given faces or names. That’s all a misogynistic society wants them for anyways. Their bodies are to produce someone worthwhile. A tool for those in power to use for their own ends. 

Our first introduction to this is Kamo’s mother, who despite playing a central role in his life, remains unnamed. She gives birth to a worthy heir of the Kamo Clan and is immediately discarded. 

Thankfully Kamo eventually abandons his clan in favor of supporting his mother. Learning a hard lesson from Maki, he seems to conclude that clans existing through misogynistic practices cannot be reformed into a place for women. 

And this misogyny of the Kamo Clan’s is historical. Enough for Kenjaku to take the place of Meiji-era Kamo Notoroshi to commit the most heinous sexual abuses known so far. And despite this history, the modern Kamo Notoroshi is named after him. Another awful secret known by those in power that is never fully condemned since they ultimately benefit from treating women like broodmares.

Death Painting Wombs

The Kamo Clan’s greatest sin is the coverup of Kenjaku’s actions as Kamo Notoroshi. I’ll be going much more into depth with its severity, be warned.

We’ll start with the facts. The faceless and nameless mother of Choso and his 9 brothers was raped by Kenjaku and a cursed spirit 9 times and had those fetuses aborted 9 times. 

I’ve been on about the loss of bodily autonomy so I’ll be focusing on the abortion process itself. Historical abortions were incredibly dangerous things. Though they varied by region, a lot of the methodology converges.

I will quote the favored methods in historical Japan directly from this article:

“Natural methods included drinking poisonous substances or herbal concoctions, all of which lacked a scientific basis. Many had adverse effects. Other means included acupuncture, cold water immersion, and vaginally inserting sharp objects such as burdock roots to break the amniotic sack.”

Kenjaku is someone that does not care about others’ suffering since everyone is just a thing to be played with. I doubt the victims of these experiments were offered any pain relief. Choso’s mother was made to endure one of these methods 9 times.

When Mahito feeds one of the fetuses to a man, we can see that it is slightly smaller than their palm. Here’s a helpful guide for the size of a fetus by week based on the size of a fruit.

I think a lime or lemon best represents the size and shape. A palm sized fetus is somewhere around 12–16 weeks old. Methods that involve inducing a miscarriage via ingesting medicine or poison decrease drastically after 8–12 weeks. (I’m basing this off the abortion pill that actually works.)

Kenjaku wanted to make sure the fetuses remained intact, so inducing a miscarriage by puncturing the amniotic sac to trigger labor-like contractions was most likely the chosen method. I’m not sure if Kenjaku can use Reversed Cursed Technique (RCT) on others to heal them, but that would allow for C-sections to be possible too.

It takes several weeks or months to become pregnant again after a miscarriage. Let’s standardize this as a range of 2–24 weeks. (Based on the earliest known conception at 2 weeks and the recommended conception time of 6 months.) Choso’s mother endured this without pain management 9 times.

12–16 weeks of pregnancy.

2–24 weeks for conception.

9 Times.

She endured these rapes and abortions ranging anywhere from 126–360 weeks or 2.4–6.9 years. 

I’m harping on this point because unless you know the details, this bit gets glossed over. The struggles of those who are pregnant both willingly and not are often downplayed or kept out of sight. Whatever symptoms she had for the first trimester of pregnancy (0-12 weeks) were repeated without support and knowing it was to be terminated 9 times over.

Here is a list of possible symptoms for the first trimester from the Cleveland Clinic.

Sore Breasts

Nausea: "Morning sickness is one of the telltale signs of early pregnancy. Despite its name, it can last all day and all night."

Mood Swings: "The sudden rush of hormones may put you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You may alternate between feeling anxious or scared to excited or weepy within a span of 30 minutes. It may be helpful to talk through your feelings with a friend or your partner.

Fatigue

Frequent Urination: "Your uterus begins to grow to support the pregnancy. It may begin pressing on your bladder, causing you to need to pee more often."

Acne or Other Skin Changes

Mild Shortness of Breath

I do not blame Choso for only referring to this as Kenjaku toying with his mother. The full breadth of her suffering is not something her child should have to bear.

Kenjaku repeats a similar kind of trauma for every incarnation born of a human made to swallow an object. Their bodies don’t belong to them anymore—they’re just hosts to the life of someone they never wanted to have.

To what extent the incarnated know they will be inflicting this harm on others is unknown. It’s just very uncomfortable knowing that Kenjaku created this method in a way that makes the violation of bodies mandatory. 

Tengen

This obsession with forcing pregnancies onto others does not end with incarnation or the death painting wombs. Kenjaku’s absorption of Tengen is a culmination of these experiments. 

Tengen is turned into a pregnancy. Who we’ve established to be hosting a mass of young girl’s bodies. The yonic imagery is incredibly overt for this process.

Tengen is put into a womb that resembles a vagina before becoming a fetus. Kenjaku’s Domain Expansion (DE) contains the literal decapitated heads of the pregnant. (More faceless women being used for their bodies.)

The DE name itself refers to Garbhadhatu which is the Womb Realm in Buddhism. You could translate this as all-enveloping womb.

What this symbolically means, I have no idea. There is, however, a consistent, misogynistic disregard for consent and the bodies of those who can bear children when it comes to Kenjaku. And that’s horrifying.

Sukuna 

Initially Kenjaku bears the Merger pregnancy using the stolen dead body of Geto Suguru. So even though Kenjaku consents to this pregnancy, the person whose body is being used for this doesn’t get to have a say in it.

But we already know how upsetting that is. We’ve seen how much this has pissed off Gojo Satoru who blames himself for his loved one’s defilement. What’s not being discussed in depth is Sukuna’s being inadvertently made a victim from this.

Sukuna’s fingers, a cursed object explicitly made by Kenjaku, are able to create cursed wombs. Since these fingers were created long before the death painting wombs, it appears that Kenjaku’s first attempts to birth evolved humans started with him.

Note how the finger bearers have 4 eyes, just like Sukuna.

I’ve been over why Kenjaku would target Sukuna and how Sukuna does not desire relationships or progeny and how his strength has prevented Kenjaku from forcing that on him directly. What I’m trying to draw attention to is how this appears to be the start of Kenjaku trying to workaround his boundaries without getting killed.

Knowing the extent to which Kenjaku is willing to turn others’ bodies into breeding stock makes the fact Sukuna’s fingers are essentially capable of birthing powerful curses very alarming.

Kenjaku didn’t stop there. The binding vow between them was still made to produce these cursed objects and the context of its formation is still missing. The other culling game players make it very clear Kenjaku either manipulated or tricked them into becoming cursed objects. There is not a single named character Kenjaku didn’t betray in some fashion after misleading them with false promises.

For Sukuna, Yuji being a cage instead of a vessel already indicated Kenjaku was not being honest with him. I think there’s more to it than that though. The details of the Merger and what activates it are something Sukuna and Uraume do not fully understand. Kenjaku tries to explain a little bit to them, but they both shut it down.

And without knowing the full breadth or implication of their binding vow, I don’t think Sukuna expected to be forced into a pregnancy that requires birthing.

I appreciate that Sukuna falls victim to this manipulation despite being the strongest. It goes to show that anyone can experience the loss of bodily autonomy.

Itadori Jin & Kaori 

His identical twin is not spared of this reproductive manipulation either. Jin is manipulated into having a child with the corpse of his wife who is piloted by Kenjaku. But I want to take the time to give Kaori the dignity Kenjaku has denied her.

Even if Kaori wanted a child, there is no meaningful way for her to consent to this pregnancy. I’m not even sure if Jin fully understood there was someone else wearing Kaori’s body. There is a real possibility she didn’t want a child to begin with. We just don’t know since everyone except her gets to discuss it.

She’s exactly like Choso’s mother here. Her body no longer belongs to her and she has no spoken dialogue. Her personhood is denied on introduction. What she was like or what things she aspired to is treated as irrelevant—she’s just another woman Kenjaku used and discarded like a tool.

Visceral Femininity 

Bloodborne is a game about. Well it’s a game that happens at you. There is little plot or reason to the Lovecraftian horrors that drive you and the characters mad. But when you examine the fragments of lore hidden both in plain sight and on item descriptions…you go insane.

There are patterns though. Seemingly unrelated pieces of this ethereal puzzle can be stitched together with a keen eye. Someone made a video on it and concluded it was about motherhood.

After watching this perspective, this reading seems obvious. With all the disjointed umbilical cords, births, abortions, and blood. It’s a proper reproductive horror.

To me, JJK resembles Bloodborne in that way. And after I was granted the eyes to see, I’ve noticed that this body horror has been here as early as JJK 0.

In fact JJK 0 and first chapter feature female characters being groped by curses. (Sometimes the word Geto uses for violated can be translated as rape.)

Motherhood, and everything that causes it, is something JJK uses as a vehicle to discuss the undiscussable—bodily autonomy and its loss for exploitation. Rather than presenting it as something we’re familiar with, it’s a symbolic, pervasive theme in how the bodies of others are seen as tools for those in power.

The organs and bodies of those who can become pregnant are twisted into things that inflict pain. In the case of Naoya, he quite literally becomes a cunt that torments the surviving twin of the girl he molested.

And his hand sign references a deity who manipulates bodies in the womb, changing females to males.

It’s never quite stated outright or even properly addressed by the characters, but you still feel that sickening pit. There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way things are. Why is so little being done about it?

[darkbluekies]

I just reread the witty and uncanny series and realized something. What would happen if their darling got Stockholm syndrome but prefers one yandere over the other? Like they cuddle up with them more, be more obedient around them, follow them around, etc.. Or maybe even worse; throwing a tantrum when the one they like more is not around.

Would the one that’s not getting attention try to kill the other? Punish/convince darling to love them more? Accept it and let the other get their love?

I won’t lie, but in this series I feel like darling would want Kry more. After likely years of dealing with Silas and his punishments, I don’t think they’d grow to love him more than the doctor. Kry didn’t actually physically punish darling in that series which is why I say this (maybe if you count the threatening but i don’t think that counts). Unless something happened off screen? I highly doubt so, though. He only seems to drug darling to keep them submissive and not anything further. We saw how he reacted when Silas said you need to be forceful…

If Kry gets more affection, I really believe Silas would just snap. I don’t think he could push back the thought of his darling (they were originally his so why does he have to share now? -Silas) showing signs of love toward someone else other than him. I’m in between him just killing the doctor (wouldn’t be easy considering you mentioned Kry is pretty strong) or just attacking him. Either way, I don’t think this time he would be able to stay calm. But if somehow darling liked Silas more, (maybe they realize sticking with him isn’t too bad because he’s not forcing drugs in their body) Kry would just try to get the attention on him too. This will likely be by medication that make them more dependent. Or maybe he realizes that’s the reason darling doesn’t seem to like him! Kry doesn’t seem the type to flirt in order to win a heart over, but more of.. I treat you well so why not treat me well back? I don’t know how to explain. Gaslighting them in other words (his speciality!). But unlike Silas, I don’t think he would ever get physical. This man values keeping darling innocent, and them seeing him beat up the mafia man will not do the trick.

Sorry for the rant! I just love your stories so much and they make my ideas pop everywhere. This series was always one of my favorites, and this train of thought has been roaming in my head for a while. I promised myself to keep it one paragraph minimum, but I couldn’t help myself. I apologize about that. Thank you for being such a fantastic writer, though! Your writing blows me away and I get soooo happy when I see you updated your blog. It’s like I get my fork and knife to devour what information you give us this time lol..

I have to start of by saying that I love these types of messages. Having people dissect my writing makes me happy, because it means that you took your time to take it in and analyze it! I agree, i don't know how to top this series ... Golden Trial is a second, but the witty and uncanny is on another level and I don't know if i will be able to reach it for a long time. Thank you so much for liking it<3

I think that they would kill each other. Dr Kry would probably do it because of the constant threat Silas poses to darling. He knows that Silas will do them harm and to make sure that will never happen, he would kill him. It would be quick and silent, opposed to Silas who would make the doctor suffer.

Darling would probably hate them equally much, because Silas might have caused them more physical pain, but Dr Kry is actively hurting them with the drugs. I don't think there is a "better" person here. Both are awful.

[jolynesmom]

Hey, I’m really sorry to dump this onto you. I really apologize. I don’t know who to talk about this anymore.

I’m 26. Struggling with the void state. I basically messed up my entire life and career and I only found out of the void state like 8 months ago. But I find myself getting so frustrated.

I know it’s easy and it’s basically us. But I can’t seem to grasp this and achieve it. Do you have any tips about this please?

hiya, you really don’t need to apologize! I totally get you and it can take some pressure off when you talk out your worries;

I understand where your frustration comes from, it took me 4 years to finally get any results in my journey, I was just so desperate to get out of here I kept persevering even when I felt like giving up

I don’t know if you want to use the void state to shift or manifest something here but let me tell you something!!

even if it takes you 10 years to get your desires, after you get them, those years will feel so insignificant and short lived compared to the life you live after

why does it matter you messed up your life and career when you can fix everything overnight? the 3D be damned, it’s so irrelevant I literally just laugh when I think how powerless it is compared to me or you

I suggest you take a step back and relax. find the source of your frustrations and address it. treat everything with indifference and keep persisting. even with not entering the void yet, you can manifest a better life here and now. when something negative comes my way i manifest it away immediately, I don’t stay sad or stressed for more than 10 minutes. even if I fail entering the void or shifting, I remind myself I have all the time in the world to achieve it

entertaining the void is very easy: you just need an alternate state of consciousness (hypnogogia, lucid dreaming, sats etc) and intention. you don’t even need to have a positive mindset or fully believe it. if you’ve read my post on how to I entered the void, I mentioned how I didn’t think I can enter the void without doing yoga nidra then entered it a few minutes later because I simply wanted to get into the void

your thoughts create your reality. just state what you want, keep persisting and watch how your desires come to you

repetition and persistence are the keys; you don't have to fully believe the things you want to manifest, you just have to persist with the new thought

if you desire something, just immerse yourself in the idea that it's already yours in your imagination. affirm it, feel it, and don't let the current reality bother you. focus on your imagined reality (4D), persist in it, and over time, your outer reality (3D) will align with what you've imagined. that's when your desires come to life

here is some advice I can give regarding the void and manifesting, but I’ll also link some posts I hope you’ll find useful:

—the void state is nothing special, it’s just a deep meditative state just like when you zoom out in class and can’t hear, see or feel anything

—meditate; find a meditation you find comfortable doing and do it any time you can (I suggest doing it at least one time per day, especially in the morning). I like doing wim hof breathing method and listening to white, pink and brown noise. you can also use guided meditations on youtube. meditation can help you also release stress

—affirm daily for your desires. even if you get negative thoughts, ignore them and continue affirming

—be delusion regarding your desires. even if it feels icky at the beginning, keep on persisting

—if you can lucid dream use it to get into the void. it’s so easy and quick

links:

—cici’s meditation guide for beginners

—the void state is easy

—jani’s law of assumption guide

—the best and fastest way to manifest

—enter the void on command by turning off your left brain side

—lucid dreaming guide

—void method: wake back to bed

—void method: pink hof breathing method

—void method: distraction method

—void method: lullaby method

—meditations to enter the void state

I wish you the best!! I hope only positive things come your way from now on 🤍

[elcpsstuff]

The Summer I Remembered You (C.F) (Part 12)

A/N: SURPRISE! Finished this one quick Get ready for a roller coaster… 😉

Synopsis: house party goes to shit, and Jeremiah finds out the truth. A long awaited talk happens between Conrad and Yn.

—

Last Summer, Age 16

“We have to do something, it’s my birthday!” I grab Steven on the shoulder and he groans.

“Your only 16, what do you want to do, drugs?” Jeremiah pats Steven on the shoulder which only makes me angry. Conrad came up from behind us and sat down on the couch.

“Vicky’s throwing a party tonight? We could go there?”

“Vicky Haspera? Why her?” Steven hits Jeremiah on the head as he says this statement.

“Shut up Jere. We all know you don’t want to go because you made out with her.”

Of course he did. Yuck.

“Would Belly come with us?”

“No.” Steven says, and his face stayed stern. I knew there was no way out of this one but I really wanted Belly to come, who was I supposed to talk to?

“It’ll be fun, yn.” Conrad says while touching my nose and then I smack him on the shoulder.

“Disgusting.” Steven murmurs before getting up and going to his room. I flip him off and soon after, Jeremiah is following.

“He’s so annoying. I mean, why can’t Belly come? She’s practically our age and Steven just wants to fuck someone and if Belly comes she’ll definitely tell Laurel so—”

I stop when I notice Conrad staring at me like that. That look. The look that had changed everything.

“Stop looking at me like that.” I say while shoving his face away from mine.

“Like what?”

“Like, that.” I motion with my hands.

That look could kill me and break me.

“I’m going for a swim.” I say, and before he can respond i’m out the door. I needed to be away from him because if I wasn’t, something bad would happen.

—

Jeremiah and Conrad’s love was different.

After that night, I forced myself to like, even love Jeremiah. I’ve stopped trying though. I thought if I did then Belly could have Conrad and I would be okay with Jeremiah. I did it all for Belly.

Jeremiah loved you in a way you should be loved. If you let him, he would treat you like the only girl in the world. Shower you with constant affection, even embarrass you in public. His love was good. But he couldn’t take things seriously, that’s the difference with him and Conrad.

Jeremiah does a lot of things to try and be better than Conrad, and that’s sadly made him more like Adam. I feel horrible that neither me or Belly loved him like that. Maybe Belly, but not me. At the end of the day, Conrad still was the our first. My first.

Conrad, his love wasn’t easy. On the outside he likes to display this guy who can’t get hurt, but he can. You have to work for every smile, every motion from him. That’s what Belly says, but for me it just felt easy. Everything was so easy with Conrad until it wasn’t. Until I gave into my feelings.

Once Conrad did love you, no one else mattered. Conrad didn’t give a shit about the other pretty girls that payed attention to him, he only had eyes for one. The one. Jeremiah may treat you like the only girl in the world, but he loves to be treated like a king by everyone else. He craves that attention, which is what sets him and Conrad apart.

I always loved Conrad. It look me a while to finally admit to myself, but I did. I couldn’t love Jeremiah. Him and Belly work well together. Because, Jeremiah could be Conrad to Belly, if she just opened her eyes.

Until she does, i’m stuck.

—

Later that night, Frankie was curling my hair for the party. The theme was retro so I was wearing a blue glitter skirt with a retro blue top. The party invites had gotten out and way to many people were coming.

“So, how you feel about tonight?” Frankie says while grabbing a piece of my hair, curling it.

I sigh, “Don’t start.”

“What?”

“I know what your trying to get me to talk about.” I point a finger at the mirror so she can see.

“Cmon, we have to talk about it eventually.”

“No.”

“It was a year ago today.”

“I know.” I whisper.

I’ve tried to avoid it but I know I won’t be able to forever. Just seeing his face is enough.

“I’m gonna talk to him then—”

“Frankie, don’t.” I beg.

“Fine, but you have to eventually. I mean- what happened was.. it was something but he was your.. I don’t know.”

I knew why she didn’t say best-friend because we’re we ever? It took me a while to accept it, but the longing stares, almost kisses, all of them, led up to this. That.

“All done.” Frankie says peering next to me and showing a smile, “You look great.”

I scoff, “Says you.”

“We’re hot bitches.”

“Never say that again.” I shove her shoulder and we both radiate with laughter.

“Let’s go show Conrad what he’s missing.”

“Shut up.”

Once we got downstairs, everyone was already there besides Steven and Taylor, and who knew what they were doing. Steven had a girlfriend, but he already cheated on Shayla once. People were already starting to come in and for a moment I regretted this, thinking about what Laurel and Susannah are gonna say.

“Are you guys sure about this?” I ask.

Jeremiah rolls his eyes and puts an arm around my shoulders, “Yn, please, we have nothing to lose.”

“I would say we have a lot to loose.” Steven says, coming into the circle with Taylor close to him.

“Where’s Shayla?” I say staring Steven down.

“Relax, she’s coming.”

Jeremiah clears his throat which grabs everyone’s attention, and he shows us the drinks he has on a plate, “I think it’s only right we drink to yns birthday, who means more to us then she knows. Happy Birthday yn!”

Everybody cheers before clinking glasses and taking the shot. It felt good, special. Conrad looked at me for a moment, and from my side gaze I looked at him too. Saw him. Everything about him.

“Let’s party!” Belly shouts and everyone screams along with her.

We’re gonna be in deep shit, but why the hell not?

Me and Belly said hi to the debs and as we made our way around the party it didn’t actually occur to me how drunk we were getting until Belly tripped on a wire, me just barely catching her.

“You okay?”

“G- great! I feel.. great?”

I laugh thinking about those words she said on the fourth, and she definitely wasn’t fine. The last time she was dunk she outed Steven for his secret, and even though he deserved it I really don’t want a repeat.

I felt myself stumble a little but a giggle was produced from my mouth.

I hope this could last forever, this feeling. This high.

While walking around, someone called me and I instantly turned to gauge where they were.

“Yn! Come take a picture!” Conrad yells and a smile appears on my face. I ran over to him and he made the objective decision to put his arm around my waist, which I did not decline. I felt him stare at me from the side while Steven took the picture.

“You look beautiful.” Conrad whispers in my ear.

That’s when it happened. The rage. The love. The nostalgia of it all. This night a year ago.

“Stop Conrad.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop this.” I push his hand away from me and he stumbles back a little.

“yn—”

“Leave me alone.” I make my way for the front door, but I don’t miss his footsteps follow me. That high, happy feeling, it was gone. I was angry and God knows what I was going to say if he tried to reason.

—

“Yn would you just listen?” I hear him say and then i’m being pulled back. I practically slap his chest which makes him back up a little.

“No, no. No more listening to you. Once I listen, it all goes to shit Conrad.”

He stays silent as I rant about everything. Everything that’s been on my heart since day one.

“It’s not fair, you know. What you do to me. I come to cousins and your acting like a fucking asshole but constantly remind me of that night, and then you say it a mistake and that you don’t care, and then you fucking kiss me? Make up your mind Conrad!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Me and Conrad’s heads are turned towards the voice, and I swore I heard my heart drop to my stomach when I saw it. Them.

Belly. Belly and Jeremiah.

“Belly—”

“What do you mean ‘that night?’ and kiss? You guys kissed?” The anger laced in her voice was easy to spot, and I couldn’t keep exhausting ways out of this. I’ve tried, but there’s nothing else left to do.

“I can explain.” I walk closer to her but she smacks my arm away and I since a little.

Jeremiah just stares at Conrad in disgust.

“So that’s why. That’s why you guys went home early that night.”

Shit.

Conrad shakes his head, “Jere—”

“Your fucking disgusting, man. No wonder yn stopped talking to you.” Jeremiah spat.

“So there is something with you and Conrad?” Belly shakes her head and beings to raise her voice. “I knew it. You lied to me this whole summer, and last summer and everything else before?”

“Belly, please—”

“No, no don’t say anything. You fucking lied to me, this whole time. Your my sister and you’ve just been lying about everything?”

“This isn’t yns fault, this is all Conrad’s.” Jeremiah points to Conrad who might be shaking at this point.

“What?” Conrad mumbles.

“You can’t just act like yn is your fucking property, Conrad. Not when you fuck her and then drop her—”

“Shut the fuck up Jere.” Conrad’s voice was getting more angry by the minute. I could tell.

“I’m sorry, you guys did what?!” Belly’s hands were on her head and she was pacing around while I stood their in shock. How did Jeremiah know?

“Jeremiah, how did you?”

“Easy, yn. You guys aren’t that good at hiding it.” Jeremiah then walks closer to Conrad, and their noses are practically touching.

“You can’t have it all. Belly, yn, fuck Conrad! If yn wasn’t blind she would realize you used her.”

“Jeremiah, stop trying to use me to get to him.” I say before feeling the tears stream down my face and running back into the party.

—

Conrad POV:

I didn’t want it to happen like this. With yn. I thought I could avoid her and everything that happened would go away but seeing her this summer has proved it impossible. Was it even possible for someone to get more beautiful over a year?

She was always my best friend. From the time we were kids I always noticed her. I couldn’t notice Belly. It was always her. I wish I could go back and change what happened, but I cant.

I stumble through the party, one we never should of thrown and look for yn. When I don’t see her in reach I know there’s only one place she could be, one place that helps us all. I run out the back door and make my way towards the beach.

There she was. With a bottle of alcohol making her way toward the ocean.

“yn! Come back inside!”

“Leave me alone Conrad.”

“I cant.” I almost say begging. Because that’s the truth. I cant leave her alone because there’s this string that ties me to her.

—

I didn’t want to listen to him and his lies. He didn’t want to leave me alone, but he could. It was all too much. The tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my face and that’s when I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me and pick me up.

“CONRAD! LET GO OF ME!”

“Your drunk, yn. We’re going inside.”

I bang his back repeatedly until he finally drops me. I didn’t look at him, I just got up and stared anywhere else but at his gaze.

“I’m not leaving you, yn, okay? Please come back inside.”

“No, no you already did that. You left that night Conrad. Why the fuck did you leave? You fuck me and then act like it never happened? Was it a joke to you?”

He shakes his head rapidly and his voice cracks when he says, “What do you mean, what do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you fight? For us? For this?” I begin to smack his chest and it only makes me more angry when no reaction comes out of him. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was full on sobbing.

“I loved you, Conrad. You were my first love, first everything. Jeremiah was- he was right, you fucking used me. You didn’t love me.”

“No, no that’s not true. If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t have got this—” He pauses before pulling something out of his pocket. It’s a necklace.

It’s infinity.

“Remember infinity? I taught you and Belly it a long time ago. But it reminded me of you. It still does and I got this for your birthday, yn. I should have given it to you this morning, because I don’t wanna loose you.”

I shook my head and looked down but his hands guide my face back to his. Making me look deep into his eyes.

“Yn I love you. Please.”

“I can’t. I- cant.” I shake my head again but Conrad doesn’t give in. Instead, he locks his lips with mine and I can’t help it. I felt like giving in because this was all I wanted. A confession from him.

“I love you.” He mumbles against my lips and a shiver goes down my spine. I love you. I love you.

When we pull away I push his hands away gently and look at him. “I can’t. Not right now.”

And then I’m walking away in tears, not bothering to look behind.

—

A/N: AHHHHH HOW WE FEELING?! next ep will explain a lot of things but y’all i’m pounding these episodes outtttt. Cant believe we’re nearing the end of this series:(

tag list: @kkrenae @callsignwidow @drikawinchester @johannelis2302nely @allnrsnz @galaxy13sworld @paytonloiselle @i-think-you-are-gr8

[haunted-xander]

________

"Hey, Owari-san! Can I take a picture of you real quick? I want to snap a shot of you relaxing during breakfast."

"Huh? Yeah sure, go ahead! Just lemme eat while you're at it."

"Of course! Just act as you normally would, don't mind me!"

*Snap!*

"Haha, you look so free! I'm definitely glad I caught this moment!"

"Hey, Koizumi! You need to eat now too! I know you still haven't eaten yet!"

"I'll eat, I'll eat, no need to get pushy! Haha."

________

"Fuahahaha! I see you require my aid, Mistress of Blades. Very well, I shall extend you my mercy and summon forth a suitable beast for your companionship! Fuahahaha!"

"...So, you'll help me? I would appreciate it greatly..."

"Fehehe. Behold! A beast has arrived from the underworld!"

*Meeeeoooow*

"Is that... a cat? It's so... cute... and... fluffy..."

*Mrrrrp?*

"...C-can I... pet it?"

"Is that not what you have requested of me, mortal? I will have you know I do not accept favors from just anyone. Do as you will with your new companion, but be careful. You must treat it with caution, lest it devour your very soul!"

"Of course. I'll... treat it with care."

*Mrreow!*

"...You're so... fluffy... and cute..."

*Prrrrrrr*

________

"Tsumiki, you should be more careful. You're still recovering, you need to take it easy."

"I-I'm sorry, Hinata-san! I j-just wanted to help... I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-so-sorry for being so useless! I'm so sorryyyyyyyyy!"

"Hey, it's okay! There's no need to apologize. I know you just want to take care of the others, but you need to take care of yourself too. I'm sure everyone would be happy to see you recover."

"U-um, okay... I-if you say so, Hinata-san. I-I-I'll do my best! I'll do my best to take care of myself!"

________

"Hey, Koizumi. Let me take a picture of you real quick."

"H-huh? A picture... of me? Why?"

"Well, you said you don't really like selfies, right? So you probably don't have a lot of pictures of yourself. I think it's only fair to have some pictures of you too, since everyone else have a lot."

"Oh! Well, if you're sure then... go ahead. I'm not really sure how to act in front of the camera though... I'm so used to being behind it."

"It's fine. You don't need to do anything big, just a smile would do. ...You're hair looks nice today, by the way."

"H-huh!? C-c'mon, you can't just put that on me all of a sudden like that!"

*Snap!*

"Ah, there we go. A nice smiling Koizumi shot. Cute."

"Ah- Hinata-kun! Did you compliment me just to get me to smile!?"

"Hey, I did mean it! You're hair really is nice today!"

"H-Hinata-kun!"

________

"Hey Hinata-kun, say cheese!"

"Huh?"

*Snap!*

"Haha, it's so rare to see you caught off guard these days! I just had to capture it somehow!"

"Oh, so that's what this is about. Haha, I guess I'm not really surprised easily anymore."

"No kidding! Sometimes it feels like nothing can surprise you. Good to see that's not the case, haha!"

________

"HEY HEY!!!! MAHIRU-CHAN!!!!!"

"W-what? What is it? Do you need something, Mioda-san?"

"MAHIRU-CHAN!!!! Please take a picture of Ibuki!!! Right now!!"

"H-huh!? I-I mean, sure but... what's the occasion?"

"Oh nothing, really! Ibuki just wanted a picture!"

"Haha, that's so like you! Well, alright, get ready!"

*Snap!*

________

"Big Sis Koizumiiiiii! Souda-kun is picking on me!"

"I'm not picking on you! I just said you had to leave some candy for the rest of us! It's not just for you, you know!"

"Huuuuh? You think a nasty little grease monkey like you deserves any candy? As if! The only ones on this island who deserve candy is me and Big Sis Koizumi! ...And maybe the depressed little girl in the pod room."

"Why does Monaca-chan get candy but I don't!?"

"Because Monaca-chan isn't an annoying, whiny little perverted dumbass, that's why!"

"You haven't even talked to her, how would you know what she's like!?"

"Cute little girls have a natural affinity for each other! Not that YOU would know."

"Saionji-san, you're not even little anymore..."

"B-but I'm still cute, right!? I'm still an adorable girl, right Bis Sis Koizumi?"

"Of course you're still cute, Saionji-san."

"Yaaaaay!"

________

"Hey, Nanami-san! Could a snap a photo real quick? I realized I don't have a lot of pictures of you, and I want to change that!"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Sure. But can you make it quick? I was going to check on Monaca-san in the pod room... I thought she might be bored, so I brought her a 3DS to play with."

"How considerate of you! I'm not sure Monaca-san will be up for playing, though..."

"...No? Hm. Well, I'll hand it to her anyway, just in case she ends up feeling up to it."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it!"

*Snap!*

________

"Oh, Sagishi-san! Look at what I have found!"

"Hm? What is it?"

"It is a serial killer documentation log! It appears that it has written down all the known information regarding serial killers all across history! Just look how thick it is! I am quite excited to read through this!"

"...You like serial killers a whole lot, huh."

"Yes! I find their way of thinking rather intriguing! Oh, but do not misunderstand! I do not condone or agree with their actions one bit! They are horrible criminals that should not be allowed to run freely to do whatever they wish! ...Oh, but... I suppose we are no different in that aspect..."

"...That's true. But our situation is very different. At the very least, we can now atone for our crimes by living our lives peacefully on this island, removed from the rest of society."

"...I suppose you are right. I will not let my past deeds disturb the peace of my present life! I will atone for my sins by enjoying myself in peace and companionship!"

"Heh. That's the spirit. ...Now then, how about that serial killer log? Why don't you tell me more?"

"Oh, yes! I would love to! Okay, so to begin with..."

________

"Haha, you enjoying yourself out there, Souda?"

"Of course! The water's super nice!"

"Kazuichi-chan's barely even in the water, though!"

"H-hey! Just because I don't feel like swimming right now doesn't mean I can't enjoy the water!"

"Is the swimming ring good enough for a baby like you? Kyahaha!"

"Don't call me a baby! Swimming rings are for everyone, not just kids!"

"You're still a total baby!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

________

"Hey, almost everyone's awake now, why don't we take a group picture?"

"B-but Komaeda-san isn't awake yet..."

"We don't know if that guy will ever wake up..."

"Please do not be so pessimistic! I am certain he will awake in time!"

"...Yeah, I agree with Sonia-san. Komaeda-kun will wake up eventually, I just know it. He's just taking a bit longer, is all."

"But why's that freak taking so damn long anyway? Is it 'cus his death was just THAT brutal?"

"No, I don't think so... His death was definitely brutal, but... I think some of the executions were decidedly worse."

"Souda's right. If his death was the reason, then Hanamura, Peko, and Tanaka would probably have taken a lot longer too. But they woke up just fine like the rest did."

"Komaeda's delayed awakening has nothing to do with the events of the simulation."

"...Do you have information regarding the Fortunate One that we do not, Lord of Darkness?"

"...I do. But it's not my place to share. Let's wait until he wakes up for that. For now, let's just take that picture, alright? We can always take a new one when Komaeda wakes up."

"Ibuki agrees with Hajime-chan! Iiiiiiit's PICTURE TIME!"

"Well, alright... If that's what everyone wants, then I'm fine with it too. Let me set up the camera and timer real quick! Everyone get ready!"

3...

2...

1...

*Snap!*

[ghostlykeyes]

Hello. I like your Heartsteel writings c: I just got my wisdom tooth removed today so can I ask a hc or anything for Aphelios taking care of an s/o? 😊

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HEARTSTEEL APHELIOS / SICK READER ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ No TW's ♡ Quick note that I don't usually write for Aphelios (requests aren't open for him) but who am I to turn away a recovering patient??? (Hope you're feeling better/healing well my dear!)

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APHELIOS

When it comes to taking care of a recovering partner, Aphelios has learned from the best. He thinks back to the last time he had the flu and uses Alune's three-day-nurse-stint as a blueprint. Whatever you need, he's ready to silently offer it. Cold cloth for your head? Done. Pain meds? He's got your dosages measured out and your favorite drink on hand to wash it down. Cuddles? Don't even mention it. He's already in bed, cocooning you both in fresh-washed blankets still warm from the dryer. And, if worst comes to worst and one of your requests stumps him, he can always text his sister to come in as backup.

Aphelios doesn't cook often, but when you're bedridden and in need of a good, comforting meal he comes in clutch. He makes a mean galbitang, and he'll even spoon-feed it to you if you give him your best puppy eyes and whine, "pleeeeeeeease, Phel, I'm too weak to eat by myself." (Not without an affectionate eye-roll, of course.) Besides that, he makes sure the freezer is well-stocked with popsicles and other cold, easy-to-digest food that will soothe you. Making sure Sett and Kayn don't eat it all, well, that's another issue entirely...

Aphelios hates to let a good prank opportunity go to waste, but if you're sick or recovering? You're safe. He wouldn't dream of harassing you while you're feeling less than your best (even if it's all in good fun). Expect to be teased extra when you are feeling better, though!

Keeping you clean and comfortable is a top priority for Aphelios. One of his most-hated things about being stuck in bed is how quickly he starts to feel grimy, so he's sure to help keep up on your hygiene routine. If you're up for it, Aphelios runs you a warm bath. He helps you out of your pajamas and eases you into the bathwater. While you're relaxing in the tub he takes care of your hair for you. Gently, he works a generous handful of shampoo into your scalp, massaging soothing circles against your skin as he goes. He hums, sometimes. A rare treat he gives when his vocal chords aren't as painful. This alone relaxes you more than any bath ever could (though of course, you aren't complaining about that part). Whatever your regular routine is, he'll see to it—face masks, body scrubs, he'll even shave your armpits for you if you ask. When you're ready to get out, he has a warm towel ready for you (what a wonder ten minutes in the dryer can do). Aphelios has fresh clothes on standby, too. He really does think of everything, and he doesn't let you back into bed until you feel fresh and rejuvenated.

While you're recovering, Aphelios strings together a few soothing instrumentals to help you relax. It's nothing fancy, just a simple beat to break the silence and lull you to sleep.

Aphelios isn't known for going easy on his gaming rivals. That completely disappears when you, bored out of your mind and desperate for something to do, challenge him to Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat. Kicking your ass while you're already down doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you bag a few wins. That stunning smile when you beat him, like you can't believe your luck, makes it all worth it. Fuck, that smile makes his knees weak.

Normally Aphelios can be a bit stingy with his cuddles. He just isn't overly physically affectionate. But if you need extra love? Say no more. He's glued to your side, snuggling you like it's his job. Your limbs are tangled together, your head finds a permanent pillow on his chest, and your bodies share a comforting heat. He will never tell you no if you're not feeling well, especially if you need more attention.

Aphelios sends you tons of memes throughout the day as-is, but if you're recovering from something? He's practically blowing up your phone. If you don't mute your notifications you will never know peace. Mainly, it's because he doesn't want you getting bored. He's also thinking about you a little bit extra, though, and what better way to express that than through a string of unhinged Tik-Toks?