#nature-related genders

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[in-tua-deep]

Book recommendation for yall! Found this in the library and checked it out bc I was a curious. It’s a really interesting look at the lives of women in the UK and the lesbian community, and has lots of chunks of stories from the various folks who were interviewed

The stories are very honest and very interesting! It has a lot of different answers to questions such as “how do people conceptualize themselves when they don’t have the language to do so” and is super insightful, I think a lot of it is applicable to non-UK folk as well

If your local library has it, definitely give it a read!

[epiceneandroid]

what being epicene means to me

so, hi! i'm epiceneandroid: a tumblr user defined by my identity as an epicene, well, android.

epicene has a lot of meanings, both personal to me and others and dictionary definition. its dictionary definition has a plurality of meanings, including, but not limited to:

-has characteristics of both male and female but is neither gender;

-has characteristics of both masculine and feminine but is neither;

-has both and neither masculine and feminine characteristics;

-has both and neither male and female characteristics;

-genderless or sexless;

-gender indeterminate;

-androgynous;

-gender neutral or neuter;

-unisex;

or a gender like male or female, but is neither.

of course, an epicene person can relate to any, multiple, or even all of those meanings, and still be epicene, and no two epicenes, just like no two women or men, will define their gender the same way.

however, i see my epicenity, as i've grown up over the years, beyond just "has characteristics of both male and female, but is neither" and "gender indeterminate".

think of those gender spectrum charts, like say, a circle. on one end is male, on one end is female, on one end is neutrois, on one end is aporagender, etc...the very center of the circle, in the middle of + having aspects of every gender but not BEING every gender like pangender, is epicene to me, i've discovered.

so it's a gender that has aspects of male, female, androgyne, femache, neutrois, aporagender, maverique, agender, really, countless genders, without being exactly all of those genders and being sort of its own thing. it's kind of like an aporagender that is simultaneously NOT an aporagender. it's kind of a schrodinger's abinary sort of thing, as it has aspects of genders that have nothing to do with binary masculinity/maleness or femininity/femaleness, but also has aspects of genders that HAVE relation to masculinity/maleness and femininity/femaleness at the same time. but, again, it's only ASPECTS of it, not exactly the exact gender. so epicenity is sort of like an abinary/midbinary combination, or a nontrinary gender, on the surface, but moreso...to me, an anonbinary experience.

so yeah. this is how i view my own epicenity. i wonder if other epicene people view their gender the same way.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[fussystreetlight]

https://youtu.be/D_aRzXXCv4s

I'm referring to the comments on this video because they give me a headache. No one thinks more about sex, and kids, and "kids in sexual situations" than pro-censorship people do. I don't know why they think book banning is "making sure the Kama Sutra isn't in elementary schools" but...it's not. It's really not. (I also don't like how most of the commenters are acting like the other side is just blowing things out of proportion and making a big deal out of nothing so they can hurt kids because that's what they were told. The first part of that rhetoric can easily be used by certain people to commit or sweep atrocities under the rug. And the second part, that's just the typical anti-lgbtq+ rhetoric...)

Anyway, that's not really the majority of the stuff that gets banned.

I only know about book bans in America so I can't speak about other places. And this is the site I normally use: https://pen.org/

Some of the top banned books were:

Nineteen Minutes by Jodie Picoult:

"Sterling is an ordinary New Hampshire town where nothing ever happens--until the day its complacency is shattered by a school shooting. Josie Cormier, the daughter of the judge sitting on the case, should be the state's best witness, but she can't remember what happened before her very own eyes--or can she? As the trial progresses, fault lines between the high school and the adult community begin to show--destroying the closest of friendships and families. Nineteen Minutes asks what it means to be different in our society, who has the right to judge someone else, and whether anyone is ever really who they seem to be."

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood:

"In Margaret Atwood’s dystopian future, environmental disasters and declining birthrates have led to a Second American Civil War. The result is the rise of the Republic of Gilead, a totalitarian regime that enforces rigid social roles and enslaves the few remaining fertile women. Offred is one of these, a Handmaid bound to produce children for one of Gilead’s commanders. Deprived of her husband, her child, her freedom, and even her own name, Offred clings to her memories and her will to survive. At once a scathing satire, an ominous warning, and a tour de force of narrative suspense, The Handmaid’s Tale is a modern classic."

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison:

"In Morrison’s acclaimed first novel, Pecola Breedlove—an 11-year-old Black girl in an America whose love for its blond, blue-eyed children can devastate all others—prays for her eyes to turn blue: so that she will be beautiful, so that people will look at her, so that her world will be different. This is the story of the nightmare at the heart of her yearning, and the tragedy of its fulfillment."

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie:

"Junior is a budding cartoonist growing up on the Spokane Indian Reservation. Determined to take his future into his own hands, Junior leaves his troubled school on the rez to attend an all-white farm town high school where the only other Indian is the school mascot."

Yes there are some of Sarah J. Maas' books on the list, but they're trying to ban that from high schools (teens and toddlers are different age groups people, please stop infantizing teens).

Censorship isn't really about protecting kids from "books that predators will use to groom them" or "child molesters", it's not about not giving kids access to sexual content when they're too young for it, it's really not about protecting kids at all, and it's not about getting rid of "icky sex books" in general.

It's mostly about control and having power, especially over LGBTQ+ people and minorities. It's about the people in charge getting rid of any narrative that they personally don't like or silencing any voice that doesn't resemble theirs (anyone who's not a straight white rich man really).

And it's not about the fact that "well you can still get these books so banned books are a myth!" It's the fact that people are trying to make it harder for students to access these books. Books that can help them. Maybe they're going through a difficult time, maybe they're struggling with mental health issues, maybe their home life isn't great, maybe there aren't many other people in school like them. And these books have characters just like them, going through the same things. And it makes them feel less alone or helps them realize things about their situation and come to terms with it. But these helpful stories are the ones targeted the most. And it gets harder for anyone who's even slightly different to feel like they belong or that it's okay for them to exist and be themselves. Books being challenged and removed from libraries is about making people conform to what the people in power want them to be, and again, what they want them to be is what they can tolerate and use.

PS: some schools in Florida also had to take away and review dictionaries for "sexual conduct" because of a relatively recent bill (that seems to also be against teaching students important sex ed, "along with requiring schools to teach that "reproductive roles are binary, stable and unchangeable"). But also the Bible is apparently still allowed, despite having all that stuff people claim to dislike.

[schizowitchic]

also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions

[vampmilf]

This is you making Holidate

Also, the way I imagine him kicking is feet the first times he got messages from fans (he's mister social media manager after all).

And idk man, vibes

OH THATS ME ALRIGHT 👏🏻✌🏼✨️

also fair, fair, i can see that and im also very much happy with getting a jan assessment! i can definitely relate to him heavily in a lot of things 🫶🏻

[midnight-sea-angel]

I figured out my gender in the weirdest way but instead of a crisis I just kind of shrugged and said so be it.

I have the rare gift of not having gender envy for my weird gender identity. Instead it's a sense of satisfaction when I look at nature. I look at trees, moss, a garden, random grass, flowers, bugs, mushrooms, a river and think "You're just like me. That's my gender". I find comfort that nature is relatively not gendered in my mind.

I thought I was a girl even though that pushed a line at times. I don't wear makeup, never have felt comfortable wearing makeup, don't paint my nails or do up my hair, I was confused why body hair was unwanted when it makes me feel so pretty and lovely (it must be a ginger thing). There is something so gender affirming of a feeling like a cottage witch wearing a floral dress and having body hair. My body hair is natural! It came free with my integumentary system! Why would it not make me happy to feel like a lovely hobbit with some leg hair?

I have never felt held back by beauty standards (this feels like a very uncomfortable privilege to have) to wear makeup or shave because I am always being told I am pretty. I guess I ran with those complements and I like to think I am pretty in a way mountains are gorgeous. That I am as stunning as the moon is when she is full and bright at her peak of the month or even when she is gorgeous as a sliver in the sky. I don't know how else I would be pretty if not like wild flowers growing between the cracks of sidewalks or water running over rocks slicked with algae or moss growing on a brick wall! But once again I feel pretty in the way nature is pretty in all it's genderless glory, not in a way I guess I would if I was told I am pretty in a feminine way.

Some very brief-ish reasons I concluded I'm just not a girl.

Growing up if I was in a group of girls and if the teacher/leader referred to the group as "us girls" instead of "us guys" I would get an uncomfortable feeling. I hated the group was gendered and would get antsy

Tiktok trends. I don't have tiktok but "girl math" and "girlhood" and "But I'm just a girl" and "girl dinner" sayings have made me really uncomfortable. Essentially if there was a gendered trend I could never refer the trend to myself because it made me feel just uncomfortable. I couldn't relate in experience and I guess in gender identity

I feel no shame being flat chested even though I grew up being made fun of for being flat chested. Instead I had fun messing around with baggy clothes, cutting my hair shorter and messing with people to confuse my gender. I feel relatively fine chest wise and feel no need to bind because people/family have made it clear they associate girlhood with big breasts and I don't have them. I am thoroughly frustrated I can't be topless in a casual way the way a guy can

I wear dresses and skirts for practical reasons. When I lack energy I wear skirts or dresses with no bra because pants take more energy to put on. They are like sweatpants to me even though people see it as being "put together" and it annoys me sometimes.

My first prom dress made me feel so uncomfortable I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror. It was because of my hips. The way the dress was made fitted me in a way that my hips were obviously sticking out. Any dress I wear I am careful to make sure it doesn't make me uncomfortable with how obvious my hips are wide. I prefer baggy dresses with no waistline or at least dresses with pockets.

I am still frustrated by my hip size and my skinny waist. I want to wear a t shirt without it feeling like it takes my frame and shows I have a skinny waist. I want to be a rectangle not a mermaid shape is the only way I can explain it.

I wanted large muscles when I was little. I grew up a skinny stick so muscles were a big dream and I am so happy I am working towards that dream for mini me. I was told no man would want me if I had large muscles and I was confused why I would even cared.

[angelcatsiel]

really want to get rid of any mention of my real name on here and use something else but I swear to god I've been trying to think of a name I could go by for literally about 2 years at this point and I just can't find one that feels right aaaaargh

[gomacave]

SHIP NEGATIVITY BELOW BEWAREE

i like/ dont mind aer/iseph but only if ppl think seph is not a man too many aer/iseph shippers have a weird innocent light bunny prey animal girl and big domineering darkness man thing going on

[annalyticall]

To be honest I think I'm starting to become so apathetic to gender that I could possibly be non-binary but at the same time I am also just apathetic enough to not care about changing my pronouns or doing anything differently about how i present to people

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Tears in the Water

NA contemporary slice of life romance about a competitive swimmer with anxiety at a sports university

they start seriously questioning their gender when they make some new friends and start dating a trans volleyball player

queer friend groups, aspec characters

[knifeslidez]

i think if i posted about media i like more often, my interpretations could single-handedly restart several fandom wars

[phagodyke]

whenever ppl ask me what my type is (or even like. what celebrities I find attractive) I have a rly hard time pinning it down for them bc things like familiarity actually factor in a LOT for me so I don't tend to immediately recognise whether someone I've never seen before irl is hot or not. actually if we wanna get properly into it the reality of how attraction works for me is that I fall in world-rearrangingly devastating love with someone and my "type" then redefines itself accordingly as a category of ppl who remind me of them in specific subtle/less-than-subtle ways and the imprint of that sticks with me forever so whenever I find someone instinctively beautiful I'm always just seeing the ghost of past loves in their face or the way they hold themselves. but I can't explain that to ppl bc I feel like it comes across weird and a little creepy so I just laugh and tell them "well its arbitrary, I'm just attracted to ppl on an individual basis! um and also ayo edebiri is sooo gorgeous" which is true

[lokh]

king don't overdo your binder using ok? take care stay safe

thanks for the concern 👍 dw about it tho this is the first time ive binded in ages lmao

[tumbloggingattheendofitall]

... Having some Feelings, and I can't entirely even blame the shitty sleep I've been getting this week lol