#i need a haircut. bad lol
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king don't overdo your binder using ok? take care stay safe
thanks for the concern 👍 dw about it tho this is the first time ive binded in ages lmao
#i dont usually bind it typically isnt a deciding factor in how i get gendered#today was just one of the days where if i got called maam i would literally flip my fucking lid lmao#i need a haircut. bad lol#anon#ask#have a good one!#im also naturally sweaty. it has nothing to do with length of binder use#oh is this related to the crochet post. binder was already off in that case ahsbdnbfnfnf
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canr believe its almost 2025 thats crazy.. art vs artist time
i didnt really know which ones to put up here but. i think ive come a long way!! im still unsatisfied w my art but thats just part of the process lol
#i only really started caring about art in late june#but caring about things does wonders lol#my hair doesnt look like that anymore i need a haircut so bad#my artwork#art vs artist#art vs artist 2024#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital art#traditional art
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
#bakugou x reader#bakugo#this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u#no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war#i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL#like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying#and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO#and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy#but he's not like. *there*. you know#and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with#and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk#your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was#but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him#but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut#and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day#and only watches japanese top gear#and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it#DREAM BOY#and then he's big hero later#anyway#caitie post#gen
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☀️
#going to eat some food!#going to text people back!#and thats IT!#no other expectations for myself#mental health was really bad yesterday and i think im generally burned out#so we're taking it bit by bit 👏#i got my haircut and if i really need attention i may show it off later LOL#rose rambles
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the benefits of being mexican and adhd means you're always late to a party (@phanniemasquerade ) 🤪
i'm mando, and i'm half a month from being exactly a decade younger than dan. first mask is a nod to my area of study, second is based off alebrijes. i'm gay as fuck and in an inchresting Situation that is extremely similar to phan except we're somehow not technically together. i started watching dnp (+listening to muse) a decade ago and even did a few phandom meetups back in the day, thought they were cringe for a while, and now i'm back to being cringe <3
i might want to do some music stuff if i ever get off my ass, but mostly i want to get back to writing rpf now that i have dnp's blessing... and to not let whatever i wrote in grade 8 be the only phan stuff i have out there :/
#phasquerade#phandom meetup#yeah working in a lab is funny part of it is a placenta lab. and yes i met tarotphil there. hiiiiiii robinnnn#also yes that's chopin. dan keeps stealing my songs. nocturne op9 no1 is MINE and MY BOY'S. i had to stop the halloween baking vid when dan#started playing it. i know he's definitely played others but alas. IM the one unhealthily obsessed w chopin tyvm#oh speaking of 'music'. ive been wanting to do what i like to call 'composer rpf' where i mash like. beethoven and tchaik together. but i#probably need more practice with composition LOL. that and im thinking of doing something like the breaking bad remix but for phan#like lady door yeah. frankly me writing anything is more likely but We'll See#we're not talking about my pants. they were a better option than my old soccer shorts and i didnt wanna put pants on#i desperately need a haircut too. and maybe a shower. but im going to say i did this on purpose. for the Masquerade Look#mandont#yapping alert#phannie jumpscare#k mention
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how it started
(all from august-september 2021)
vs how it's going
(from earlier today/two days ago)
#the glow up is UNREAL . ik those aren't even my only foxboy gawaines they're just from the only era when i posted that shit#like ik one of the first ever pieces of med lit fanart i did was foxboy gawaine way back in 2020 and i have another big one i did#this time last year for ap art . and i probably have several dozen others scattered through the years i never posted and thus couldn't find#n e ways. god the glowup is unreal . i need to do more serious arthurian/rtm art so i can do more comparisons like this .#i thought i ate so bad w that lineless one but ough . my strength always was and still is traditional sketching and it showed .#like i'm just now catching up digitally. it's inch resting to look at the ways my style has changed over time here. obv i took away#gawaine's fuck ass bob and gave him a cuntier (but still kinda fuck ass) haircut . i still draw fox ears p much the same. noses and lips to#and as for eyes i actually went back to my style roots Before i started doing it the way i did in the 2021 ver .#oh and the hair follows the same idea but w diff execution and the cheekbones are exagerated but now it's on purpose . back then was just b#i sucked at art lol#arthuriana#arthurian legend#gawaine
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It didn't spoiler bar the first time lawl
Dysphoria is so funny because you can go through a month long stretch of having it be reiterated through experience over and over that you don't pass even with shaved hair and binding and not talking and you'll ride that out on a fairly low wave of it all, and then one moment of an algorithm onna website going hey yr a lesbian right. Yr a gay woman yeah. Is what tips you over the edge into feeling like dog ass about it all
You have to laugh!!!!
#jay talkin#YES ITS ME BACK W A BRAND NEW VENT U CAN IGNORE DW BOUT IT#yes online friends see me as jay and use he/him but lbr nobody irl has even w my haircut#lol. it sucks. in struggling with it a lot more than im letting on haha#i do not think passing is something required of you as a trans person#but god i personally need to pass as a trans man i need to pass as a man so bad please#i cant take not knowing i really never will if i cant get medical assistance hahaha#ok. im gonna go cook cheesy pasta. im ok. just yknow how it is
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compilation of knife hairstyles
#sketch#oc#oc art#🔪.art#🔪.ocs#oc: knife#fursona#furry#ms paint#no idea what my ''fuck i need to cut my hair'' is gonna look like now since my hairstyle is completely different LOL#no idea how this is gonna grow out#it might look too bad and i might just not let it tbh#i normally only get one haircut a year tbh. sometimes two but p much never more than that#i do NOT maintain this shit <3
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Old man face reveal to test my new phone camera ✌️
#i need a haircut very bad#my mullet grew out and now its all shaggy and weird ugh#damn this camera too good tbh you can see every giant pore on my face lol
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I remember this game (Patreon)
#Doodles#Terrible news: My hair has gotten long enough that it's trying to center-part all on its own#I need a haircut so bad I don't care how cold it is#Anyway lol onto what this is Actually about#Namely of refixating on Handplates lol - I totally called it ♪ Not that it was hard to guess pfft#When I think about it - I don't think I've ever talked about how I found Vargas through Handplates? :0#Which is weird to me looking back lol they were both very pivotal moments in my life! One affects the other affects the other on loop#It's a very interesting dance inside my head haha#Being So back on Handplates now really throws that into relief for me#Not to be cheesy Immediately lol but I'm just- so happy that I get to experience these stories ♥ That I get to Keep experiencing them :)#It's only gotten better with time I wonder if it'll ever stop haha - I keep falling more in love with them!#It's really unlike anything else I could compare them to - holistically excellent across the board#If there was just One Thing that I could pin down and say ''This Right Here is the The Thing that I like so much and am so inspired by''#But there isn't - there isn't just one thing it's everything!#If it wasn't everything I wouldn't be so inspired by Handplates to make Vargas stuff and so inspired by Vargas to appreciate Handplates#And everything in between! Helix and RespectAWoman and just- It's everything! It's holistic excellence!#Even when I first transferred over from Handplates to Vargas it was everything - up to that point anyway haha#I'm just....always having a good time when I'm reading ♥ It's my favourite-favourite#I feel very lucky :)#Handplates#I mean - ostensibly anyway lol
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Having the worst time here bodywise
#the discomfort#is immense#everything hurts and im dying but like only low key so i could technically still do all the things i need to do because i don't have an#excuse to just lie in bed all day except for feeling slightly bad#also lack of sleep makes this even better#what should i do#add caffeine to make this body vibrate even more to the point where i might just throw up#i can't sleep tonight anyway#i have that counselor appointment at 7:45 so i need to get up at 6:30 which is usually the time#i go to bed#so#another sleepless night#i also really need a haircut but i have no money and i also don't want to go to a hairdresser but i cannot do it myself so#im just suffering lol#shut up amy
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#sotd#vent#I feel tired and overwhelmed#demotivated but driven at the same time#I’ve been feeling rly dysphoric and not like my usual self lately#on top of usual life stresses#I need a new job but I’m so scared to quit#I need a haircut but I feel so ugly and dysphoric that I couldn’t possibly look right#I need to do all this shit to make life better and easier but it feels like so fucking much#and trying to space it out and do one thing at a time is not helping#is this regular depression or seasonal depression who fucking knows lol#and my anxiety has been so bad#I don’t know myself anymore#I don’t know who I am or who I want to be#everywhere I go„ everything I do#I feel so out of place#like I don’t belong and I’m taking space that isn’t mine#and it feels like everyone else is thinking that too#like they see me and know I’m not supposed to be there#and I have all these thoughts of who I should be. What I should be doing#I want to wallow in self pity and have someone else pick up all the pieces for me#I need someone else to fix me#but that’s not how life works. that’s not ok for me to do. to myself or someone else#I don’t know how I’ll ever be an actual adult. how tf am I supposed to grow up? I don’t think I’m capable of it#but at the same time I think me saying and feeling that is holding me back. and it’s so frustrating#I’m tired of fixing myself#I’m tired of doing the work#but fuck I dont want to be like this forever either#I don’t want to wallow anymore but more than fucking anything I DO want to.#I feel like I’m in limbo. and it fucking sucks. I want to be healed. I want to be good. I want to be me. I’m just so tired.
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#Hey I have polls that's neat#I need a haircut so bad it's so long and I hate it lol#Tbh I'm very tempted to do a buzz cut again just for a reset lol#Not as short as I did like whatever it was 4 yrs ago but still
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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.
#ffxivposting#suicide mention#I GUESS. SORRY#made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3#and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help#just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie#keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely#btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr#and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol#like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too#busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw#anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever#ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.
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I bought a bra because sometimes I want to actually wear shirts that don't show everything and I hate undershirts and why is my tank top defining my boobs, literally can see everything through the tank top. Who is this for? Certainly not me!
#i have a binder and im wearing it now and its great but like it does not go with the cut of this womans tank top#why women be shopping these ridiculous sizes#who is this for???#who designed this!?!?#i need to have a conversation pls#ughhhh#attire#dress to dress idk#bra femenineme#i am desperately in need of a haircut before i literally take the shitty kid scissors from the bathroom and lob it off myself#except my friend and hairstylist would literally kill me#they dont fuck around man#they were my friend first i knew them as a history major lol and then they were like peace i am doing beauty#also i swear if this doesnt fit right or just is super stupid im burning it#im not ill get my monies back but ugh#i dont have gender dysphoria all i have is rage#like and my torso isnt even that odd not that torsos are odd#like it fits my body type i have broad shoulders and my waist is slightly slimmer then that its not bad#but god does fitting into womens clothing suck assssss#it makes me want to combust
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This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved
(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)
Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!
He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.
He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.
At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)
The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.
The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.
Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.
Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D
I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.
#coffeepaintart#jonathan sims#jon sims#tma#the magnus archives#scopophobia#scopophobia tw#tw scopophobia#the archivist#tma fanart#tma art#if i need to tag any other tws or cws lmk
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