#nah maybe another time
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Sleepover
The quality ended up being terrible in all of the images (thank you so much, Krita), but i still wanted to show these anyways
[Without the weird circley things [and a lighter background for some reason]
Theoretically, they should be bickering like cats n dogs, but Fuyuhiko's busy eating [COOKIES!!!!!!!], Drew's getting his ass kicked at *insert game here*, and Chuuya’s enjoying spending time with his friends while he still can [I'm so sorry, Chuuya]
#sdr2#tmf#bsd#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#tmf drew#chuuya nakahara#Two members of the Japanese mafia and then there's Drew!!#if you're wondering when this is set in their timelines [you aren't but i will tell you anyway] its post drake-up. pre-hope's peak. anddddd#maybe midway through stormbringer#if you are wondering why on earth i made this [ once again you probably aren't ] it's because these guys are infecting my brain#this is set in Drew's universe [doubt they'd get a moment of peace if they were in another].#they got here spiderverse style. minus the glitching These guys go through enough#SIKE!!! *angsts them*#nah maybe another time#i would give the story as to what is happening in the actual drawing but iv already revealed too much [im running out of space]#ill do a few more tags methinks#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#the music freaks#danganronpa 2#dr2 goodbye despair#sorry for rambling#i have a lot to say is all
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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.
#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility#of an afterlife being located on the moons#Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some#other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central#ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife#Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they#need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through#this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead#make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like#in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living#and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink#and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth#to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as#barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located#behind the moons and stars) like everyone else#And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be#partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so#he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the#transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda#Go Get Him#Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah
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[ cute raincoat ]
#nah that raincoat is way too expensive but i love how it looks#but imagine alex found something nice but it's a lil bit at the expensive side and alex be like ah no let me find another one#but george be the one who be like no we will give that one to the las; but he must value money a lot more for working so hard in the mine#but maybe one time he splurged on one nice clothing for evelyne and she wears it forever (maybe the pink poncho)#OR-- we can just pretend that raincoat has less expensive price from the very beginning. The End. fhsdhsh#sdv#stardew valley#Feast of the Winter Star#sdv alex#sdv farmer#sdv vincent#stardew alex#stardew farmer#stardew vincent#fanart#stardew valley alex#stardew valley farmer#stardew valley vincent#stardew dog#anyhow i just thought it would be cute if a bachelor/rette prepares present to exchange with the farmer personally despite the yearly lotto
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someone on twitter drew the trio Freaking It in duos and then the third one interrupts the other two. they posted horrordust + killer and kist + horror but not horrorkiller + dust and i just gotta say Yeah That Makes Sense. yeaaaah it makes sense that horrorkiller was the one that was "too lewd to post",,,,,,,
#psssssst i need to see the hrkl one. heres 100 bucks#I CANT TRANSLATE IT BECAUSE THEY USED A MASSIVE WATERMARK BUT THE ART ITSELF IS ENOUGH TO TELL#jnl25398 youre so real.....#jnl do not worry nobody would bat an eye if you drew horror and killer raw dogging it and dust interrupts#keizukogumisuko reposted it thats how you know its peak continuation group content#i love the jp murder time trio fans they dont know it but i support everything they post about#YOU GO!!! POST ANOTHER RAMBLE ABOUT WHO TOPS AND BOTTOMS!!! ILL JUST KEEP GOOGLE TRANSLATE OPEN OK :3333#theyre always talking about the dreamswap creepypasta squad over there and i'm TEMPTED but also#i fear for my life. because i think ds!dust or bobby is a KID??? idk.....#wait nvm he's 18!! nvm!!!!#still. whatever i guess#randy's just 25 why do people refer to him as an old ass bitch????#aaactually waaaait hold on.... creepypasta squad thoughts taking over#I NEED TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM WAIT#WHY ARE THEY FEATURED IN A GOOGLE DOC ROLEPLAY CALLED THE MAWWIED SAGA I NEED TO RESD THIS WAIT#i hate the way that theyre all humans in this au#and the way that the au has nothing to do w utmv anymore#NOT THAT ITS BAD its just kinda weird.......like dude why is hacker's name THEODORE???#ok i knew that something was off about the creepypasta squad that i wouldn't like. randy considers bobby his son#FUCK!!! FUCK!!! nah i'm sorry i can't ever picture horror seeing dust as his son nvm#maybe i can appreciate from the sidelines..... maybe the creepypasta squad will be my gateway into familial mtt hcs....... i dont know#i'm done with dreamswap for the day i cant#tricule rant#OH SHIT WAIT I FORGOT THIS AU WAS AN EXCUSE FOR THEM TO SHIP DREAMMARE TOO. EW#nvm. creepypasta squad i'll take you 3 all away from this don't worry you're safe in my arms.....#gives randy a new flannel. pets bobby on the head. gives hacker some chocolate or something idk#man...... my trio has to be RUINED by association of dreammare. this sucks balls
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Goldie needs to be able to one up Scrooge (it’s practically an addiction). So when the twins arrived and she hated them she needed a new approach. And she already had stocks in Scrooges business and maybe she’s been neglecting them sooo perhaps she should pay some special attention.
#wink wink#that’s right#Goldie decided to be a business woman in the 90s#((not that she wasn’t already she had a successful hotel empire by this time but still))#there was no way she’d gone the entire 60s 70s and 80s regularly interacting with Scrooge#((that’s right I said it they spoke regularly for 30 years fight me))#only for her to allow them to go back to no contact#just because some stupid kids live there now#nah ah#she will get her fix one way or another#and if means sporting business suits instead of her usual adventure gear then so be it#and if she happened to use this to her advantage#to say show off her assets#((or maybe just feel clean rather than dirty and sweaty when she was him))#like Goldie is fashion icon#we all know this#so when I say she turned up looking her absolute BEST#I need you to know how badly I mean this#ugh I wish I could draw#I would show you guys all the outfits that are in my mind rn#goldie o'gilt#scrooge mcduck#ducktales#scroldie#the duck twins#Goldie is addicted to inconveniencing Scrooge#nothing will stop her
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Idk
From the drawing challenges I present to you Starscream and shattered glass Starscream. If you ask where the back things for him are, I honestly forgot about them.
#tfo spoilers#tfo starscream#shattered glass#transformers one#transformers starscream#idk what else to tag#bye i guess#what if I make this the longest tag ever.#Nah#but what if?#maybe for another time#i’m just rambling#Byeeeeeeee
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There’s this one tiktoker who made a few viral videos talking about relationships I’ve noticed in a few of her videos she mentions feeling like she is being blamed by these men for her relationships ending/other party losing interest or feelings, which I can kind of relate to but also not really
Like in general I am pretty sensitive to blame/criticism, and can sometimes feel like I’m being blamed/criticized for something when really the other person is just voicing a frustration (think ‘damn the laundry isn’t done yet’ but I hear ‘you’re lazy/dumb for not starting laundry earlier’)
But that’s generally not the case for me in dating I guess, like whenever I’m dating someone new and they told me that they didn’t want to continue seeing me or that they lost interest in me, I’ve always kind of seen it as a ~them problem, like the other party is telling me a fact about themself. I never internalized their reasoning as something that was my fault or that they were blaming me for losing feelings, maybe because I think of myself as a generally authentic(👁️) person and so it’s not like I have any regrets about my behavior or what I could have done differently
(unlike the laundry example, where I clearly see how I could’ve started laundry earlier)
#txt#maybe I need to practice being more authentic to my needs and desires when I’m alone 🤔 I have no problem doing it w other people#but apparently struggle to be authentic to myself when I’m by myself#for example today I had the whole day and it was so lovely I thought abt going to Central Park but I was like nah I should stay home clean#but then I stayed home and didn’t clean so I felt like I wasted the whole day#also another note about the tiktoker but she apparently only dates these men for 2-3 months before they lose interest which… is like normal#I think it takes 1-2 months to get to know someone enough before deciding if you wanna continue dating and maybe 6-7 months to fall in love#so these men dumping her after 2-3 months is like. a perfectly reasonable time frame to decide to stop dating#the fact that she believes these men that are like ‘I could see myself marrying you’ during that time just makes me think she’s naive#and chooses men who are emotionally immature / like to put her on a pedestal. which sounds like I’m blaming her but I’m just stating a fact#that being said I also have trust issues and it took me like 6 months after partner and I started saying ‘I love you’ for me to believe them#like we’d say I love you but then I’d fear we break up whenever we had a disagreement. which is maybe unnecessarily guarded 😬
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#having a new earring is a great way to farm social validation. customers all day have been complimenting me on it.#my brother saw a dude with a pair of pink guillotine earrings and came home like 'I bet you could make that' and I finally did#the blade is an actual razor because it's cooler to have a sharp earring#only one because I like asymmetry and also inspiration only strikes once for me. my results are pretty much never replicable#maybe I attach an image. yeah I'll do that. y'all get to see the earring I guess#ford's Art#it's a razor blade cut to shape and then a walnut frame glued together and oiled to bring out that lovely dark texture#it's a little long. I should have made the frame slightly shorter but oh well. I still love it#I've had so many people ask if I sell my crafts and the answer is nah. I'm not disciplined enough to make multiples of something.#even as a kid making wooden swords. I made a neat claymore hilt and another kid asked if I would make him one. I said sure and then#and then ended up turning out a much shittier product because my heart wasn't in it the second time around#anyway. today was good and I'm happy. I'm out of the depressive slump and just chugging along
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Ok, I’m sorry but, what in the flying FUK!?!???!
WHAT
PAKU!? GODAIIN!?
Godaiin my boy, you are the only friendly face I trust, actually no, it seems like they brainwashed you, Paku pls save us.
Dude her entire family is dead I fuking can’t
Their current uniforms remind me of the ones they used on that first chapter, with the adult versions of Izumo, Ryuuji, Koneko and Shima.
(Can't find the damn cover thing, gah)
IF WE ARE TRAPPED IN A TIME LOOP IM GONNA LOOSE IT
Like, I actually prefer Satan winning over that.
WHERE ARE YUKIO, IZUMO AND RYUUJI!?!??? How the fuck did Shima survive??? He was right there with them?? They must be alive Kato cannot simply kill off the entire cast of main characters like nO.
Like, this is Angel- and Angel is alive cuz he got dragged out of the battlefield and has been fighting a temptaint since then??? fak cant remember. This is what happens when you take a long break and the manga gets a hiatus out of nowehere.
Shura, dear, is that you??? Pls tell us what's going on, where is Yukio, Ryuuji, Izumo and Koneko, Lewin??? Osceola?? Lucy, Liu?? WHERE IS EVERYONE?!?!?!
WAIT IS THAT DUDE TAKARA???!??!? FAK
Anything but a time loop please, Mephisto, you had ONE JOB, ONE JOB SIR! TALK TO US!!! YOU CAN SEE US, EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!
No, no, like, TELL US, don't just smile stupidly there please, goodness...
Angel said that Satan is returning...
Is Satan still the Demon King/God??? Is Rin now the Demon King or is he just a Demon King? He has black hair I-
Where the heck is Shiemi?!?!!?? And her mom?? I just-
I rlly was like: ok then, a war, fine, I will try not to think about all the psychological consecuences it can cause on the body and mind of a bunch of 16 year old kids, is fine...
and Kato was like: Nah bich, a time skip with hints to a time loop, everyone is gone, Shima is doing advertisements, Angel has a temptaint, Mephisto disappeared and Rin is now the Demon King.
._.
Ma'am. Is barely 10am. I just-
That last page gave me the vibes that Rin came to rescue Paku ??? gsgsg pls Rin tell us you are a good guy, imean, this is Rin we are talking about but still. I'm confused.
Ok wait.
I think... somehow Lucifer is inside Angel's body, he's running over the True Cross, but that wouldn't explain the rampant demons ugh (Astaroth/Reiji, dears, where are you? I wanted to see you fight, ima start crying... )
but it would still explain the weird brainwashing we saw with Godaiin, *gasp* is all this part of Shiemi's creepy uncle's plan?! Ye, I don't think Lucifer is inside Angel's body but again, he didn't have a reserve body during the war, I just-
Ok idk.
I'm just stressed over the fate of everyone. Maybe they made a resistance or smt?? Imean, Satan is returning, for the second time in this manga, they have to reunite to fight him again no?? Gods, did Rin finally train and obtain complete mastery of all his powers??? Hell yissss!
Yukio, you better be managing the entire Resistance at this point please, with Lewin and Osceola as mentors. Ryuuji, Izumo please be safe, stick with Yukio, can't wait to see you two kicking demon a$$, please T.T.
SHIEMI MY QUEEN, WHERE ARE YOU DEAR!?!?!? ima start crying, i hope she's alright, gods.
This is a two year time skip, they are all fresh 18 year old adults, gods, they grow up so fast T.T, asghshss.
This chapter is a mess, so many things to discuss but dear goodness, I loved it!
#aoex#ao no exorcist#ao no exorcist manga#ao no exorcist manga spoilers#I will try to make this sentence as long as possible so you dont see the spoilers ahhhhhhhhhhhh#renzo shima#mephisto pheles#noriko paku#sei godaiin#arthur auguste angel#imean if shima is there it must mean things arent as bad as they seem right???#what we saw of him was an advertisement maybe hes being held somewhere... nah they must be having him fighting out there jsjsj#guess is time to wait for another month
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love is truly the dumb fuck juice of all time because a man can literally tell you 'i have violent thoughts of harming you' and your ass will be twirling hair and kicking feet like 'but would we kiss after that or?' like
#life#nothing recent lmao just been thinking about my younger self#and how utterly in love i was with someone who didn't have their best intentions with my goofy ass#and i was EATING. IT. ALL. UP.#like sure i was in the absolute depths of depression and ping ponged from one suicidal thought to another#and at times those feelings were about the only thing keeping me from jumping off the 16th floor of my dorm building#but then again when he abandoned me like a wet dog on the side of the road#i uh.. almost killed myself yaknow.. maybe it was NOT worth it in the long run lmao#i lived bitch.jpg#but yeah nah just looking back at all that in retrospect and it's truly truly wild as shit how utterly in love my ass was#talking about that suicidio attempt i actually ended up writing about it because it was almost comical how i survived#when your darkest demons crawl out of the shower drain to roast you into living mi amore <3#it helped me process the whole thing when i was in a much better place mentally#and i read it to my writing group with a bunch of people different ages different walks of life it was a great experience#suicide mention cw
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TWICE. LOST GALAXY HAS SHOWN AN UNSUITED GINGAMAN CHARACTER T W I C E. FIRST GOUKI AND NOW SHELINDA I AM LOSING MY MIND
#like did they just not care or did they assume no one would notice#i guess tbf i can see how the lil Shelinda could have gone unnoticed but the gouki one was so so bad#but its so fucking funny#cause when the episode started i thought 'oh this is about Damon - i wonder if they are gonna pull from the Hayate v Shelinda fight'#and then thought 'nah Shelinda isnt in a suit they cant really use any of that footage'#only to eat my fucking words cause they used a long shot with her vibing in the damn corner lmao#before watching gingaman i just couldnt ever get in to lost galaxy but oh boy am i so glad i gave it another shot#the way they use parts of ginga feels so bizzare and delightful#idk how to explain it but it just FEELS different to how other pr seasons feel...#maybe im just too attached to gingaman lmao#or maybe its the super jarring colour and quality change every time we jump to gingaman footage 😂😂😂#lost galaxy
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soooo. that new big time rush album huh
#how we feeling today rushers (。•̀ᴗ-)✧#also yes i've come back from the dead just to post abt this like. i owe this blog *this much* at least ykyk#anyway its like 3 in the morning here and ive just woken up after a vv long and exhausting day yesterday so this was a pleasant surprise :>#i haven't really listened to it in full yet bc idk adhd things but when the mood hits right y'all know i'll be VIBING#i never talked abt it but waves and can't get enough were great earworms so i'm excited to see how the rest of the songs will turn out#also hope everyone's doing well here on the btr side of tumblr hehe y'all been absolutely fed this year <3#is this gonna be allen's 2k23 tumblr comeback??? nah prob not i'm too in love with the fooo conspiracy atm but hey maybe also who knows 👀#(*heckler from the back of the audience* NO ONE CARES ABOUT U AND UR TRASH CONTENT IDIOT STFU FOREVER ACTUALLY!!!!!)#but yep. life has been fuck work has been a headache and so many unwanted tragic plot twists this year. but at least we got new btr lezzgo!#also happy pride month y'all!!! just saying this for absolutely no rhyme or reason related to this post at all wdym lmao ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯#okay thats all promise i'll shush now and it's time for old grampa to disappear into the darkest recesses of the internet yet again hejdååå#btr#big time rush#another life#album#stop it forever#lmao i hardly remember my dumbass blog tags;;; it's for the best hdbfkgk
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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i cannot believe i feel bad after not taking care of myself properly for days on end that is so weird how could anyone predict this outcome i'm shocked
#-me#maybe if u washed ur hair and ate 3 meals today and went to bed on time and saw some sunlight u wouldn't be so bad#maybe if you even took a little walk or spoke to another person or just stopped trying to isolate....#but nah that's ridiculous surely that wouldn't help#.............................
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so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe
#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info#pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number#or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big#in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain#will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean'#and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool#nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed#to feel like this!!!!#so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it#this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too#and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons#but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats#when you should start being like ok somethings afoot#like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative#...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely#and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL#anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them#/suicide#/suicide mention#/suicidal ideation#/depression#/death mention#and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and#start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side#passive*#eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is#im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres#any errors left my apologies
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ugh there it goes
#our promotion 😢😢#1st place is gone#today was tough our opponents were all way better than us#we only won 1 match out of 6#now they're leading our league well we should at least win our last matchday and get 2nd place#the no1 seed was in another league from ours 6:0 6:0 altough she's quite a good player at our club#we only won one doubles match altough they were not as good by far as their other players#and all the matches were quite one sided they were also way higher rated than us#i also lost my match 😫 altough it was quite close actually but that is even worse sometimes idk#i certainly could have won idk why i didn't i mean there were not many chances but they were there#i lost 5:7 4:6 ugh 😭#maybe with a better serve i would have won#but i was 5:4 up and i didn't win that point like that's when you have to be there and make it#i think this might just be one of my weaknesses i'm really good at conebacks and believing in that i'll win but i have to be more effective#and 'cold' when it matters sometimes i'm quite wasteful with my chances#i often make the craziest most difficult shots which are 'impossible' to get back but then fail at the easiest one's#especially in the crucial moments maybe i should play it safe more and be more patient#nah but winning that first set would have changed everything because 3rd sets are more likely to be my advantage with my speed and fitness#and in the 2nd i was just always one behind i always caught up but never went ahead#my serve also wasn't really there today and my 2nd serve is still too weak opponents take advantage and if i have a bad 1st serve percentage#like today it makes it difficult to win my own serve and i also made many double faults (4) 😕#i aced her once tho 🤪#but my serves are sometimes great but very inconsistent dependent on the day (the 2nd one always bad)#my backhand also wasn't as good as usualy i hit a lot of them out but it got better altough then i took many with my forehand which worked#and my opponent had riddiculous stops they wouldn't go up the ground again 🫠#and she was so good at net and also whenever i went there she'd pass me or lob me 😅#i gave up doing that very soon my best shot at this was just hitting winners and hitting balls deep to her forehand#i succeeded at that a couple of times but it was not enough#i mean i didn't play badly but what a shame#she was very nice though and very fair it was a pleasant match and she told me she was the best opponent she encountered in the league
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