#my wife was the queen or whatever

[exculis]

Had A swag dream

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

[midnightdemonhunter]

(IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I WANT NON FICTION) NO ONE'S TOUCHED ME THERE IN A DAMN HOT MINUTE!

[phoenixcatch7]

*Slams fic down on your desk like an interrogator does a newspaper*

Absolutely phenomenal dp x dc fic. Awesome concept brilliant plot incredible execution. Pretty much The Single best supporting/mc oc I have ever encountered, such good characterisation, super interactions and relationships, we are healing and growing in this house tonight lads!!!!

[wonder-worker]

"As regards women whose monuments depict a livery collar, the traditional supposition which saw ladies as appendages of their husbands should be revised. It may be true that some women did have livery collars depicted on their memorials in right of their husbands, but there are examples of those who were probably awarded a collar for their own royal service [...] Elizabeth Donne, wife of Sir John Donne, is depicted along with her husband wearing a collar of suns and roses with a white lion pendant in Hans Memling’s Donne Triptych. As she was one of Queen Elizabeth Woodville’s gentlewomen, receiving a £10 annuity, it is likely that she received a collar in this capacity. The same can be said of Margaret, wife of Nicholas Gaynesford (d. 1498), whose brass at All Saints’, Carshalton (Surrey), survives. Although her husband has no collar, Margaret is depicted in a ‘choker’ collar of suns and roses. According to the tomb inscription, she served in the households of both Elizabeth Woodville and her daughter Elizabeth of York."

-Matthew Ward, "The Livery Collar in Late Medieval England and Wales: Politics, Identity and Affinity"

[sysig]

I somehow forgot how fun Spider Bites is to draw ♥ (Patreon)

[the-kipsabian]

@coughedfeathers asked: 15 - Make a gifset of anything I want.

best friends (orange cassidy & chuck taylor) vs miro & kip sabian w/ penelope ford || arcade anarchy (aew dynamite 31/3/2021)

[geminipixels]

Mrs. and Mr. Celeste for Generation 2

(Yes, Omar took her last name. And he has no shame about it.)

[widowshill]

Character bingo: Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, the woman the myth the legend

Her.

[apollos-boyfriend]

hear me out,

[remember-ur-alive]

CHAT I MISS MY S^W YA0I

[yasminhananis]

okay but this is also house targaryen actually

[beastsovrevelation]

I said I have 4 storylines of Good Omens fanfiction (including the Crossover with Legion). Had I said that today, I would've lied. There's five.

["Diary entry" under the cut, so there's no litany on an unwilling scroller's feed]

NOTE: I haven't seen S2 of GO, not do I intendt to, so beware of canon divergence

Well... The 5th one is less a coherent storyline, more a concept. I was playing Gardenscapes, and suddenly thought "What if F!Crowley were my Antichrist's mother?"

You know, maybe Crowley owed Satan a new Antichrist, or something. I guess, she'd have screwed up this one, too... Well, she'll gladly take over the world, she just won't destroy it.

The conversation (between myself and myself) went about like this:

Me: ...

Also me: what if?..

Me: for fuck's sake, not again

Also me: Lady Crowley...

Me: please stop

Also me: Was Maxine's mother?

Me: whyever would she be her mother?

Also me: because she owed Satan for the ruined Apocalypse, and had to carry the next Antichrist

Me: Maxine doesn't want the Apocalypse, she's a sane politician

Also me: works for Crowley

Me: she also has black hair and blue eyes

Also me: Satan has black hair and blue eyes, Benedict's not his faceclaim, anyway

Me: fine, why would her last name be Frost?

Also me: Satan goes by Lucian Frost on Earth

Me: why would he ever go by the surname Frost?

Also me: a not to Dante's Inferno

Me: I hate you

Also me: 🤪

Me: you're killing me

Also me: with pleasure 😊

[End dialogue.]

Now, like I always do with any new idea, I of course collapsed down into the daydreaming pit, which often turns fanfiction, and original stories alike, into Tolkien-level complex universes you'd need a lifetime to fully explore.

I thought, it could be funny. When Max meets Anathema and Newt's daughter Agnes in Oxford, they can bond over their unhinged families.

"You'll probably think my parents are weird as fuck, they have a pet raccoon they dye black, and pretend is a cat."

"Honey, no, I get you. My mother mentally abuses her house plants, and wears sunglasses at midnight."

Rich people things, I guess. I mean, they're both nepo babies, who would ask questions about why their families are weird. Who would ask questions about why a rising star politician's mother mentally abuses her house plants.

There's a lot of potential for comedy. Crowley's issues with her sister-in-law, for example. Satan and Michael... They have a strange dynamic. The last time they spoke to each other is mentioned in the Book of Jude. But, they both have the familia ante omnia, blood is everything mentality. They support each other's political aim. They would kill for each other. And, Michael feels very protective (possessive, even) over her niece (the family mediator, why do you think she's a perfect diplomat). It would annoy the Hell (Heaven?) out of Crowley. Still, in the end, she and Michael would probably kill for each other, also.

I'd imagine Satan forbidding any contact with his disowned son... I don't know. In my fanfictions (where he is a thing), Maxine and Adam usually do have eventual contact, and consider themselves siblings (do keep in mind, though, Max would always choose her father over her brother). Satan doesn't mind her not wanting the Apocalypse, as long as she's loyal to him. He sees good points in her arguments against. He never really cared for it, anyway, it was mostly the armies.

Also... Maxine rides horses, ever since she was a child. Crowley doesn't get along with animals, everyone knows that. But. She's the nightmare equestrian mom (think soccer mom, only worse - much worse). How does she get along with Max's animals?.. Well, Titan (the hellhound) actually likes her. Ulysses (the horse) tolerates her. Horus (the falcon - yes, Max's so posh she's in the falconry hobby)... I have no idea. He'd probably sit on her shoulder, sometimes. But, Crowley's anxious around him, since snakes aren't usually friends with raptors.

At first, I thought about conflict between Crowley and Maxine. For example, her refusing to ride in the Bentley, because she (every author must place pieces of them in their characters) despises Queen. But... I don't like writing that. I like writing loving, healthy relationships between mothers and daughters. So, it's more "What do you mean you're bad at being a demon? You caused the Fall of Humankind. None of them can compare to you", and"You'll be the perfect Secretary-General of the United Nations, honey". We love mothers and daughters supporting each other here. ❤

I even thought of cute scenarios, like Crowley coiling in Max's crib, because she's anxious, and wants to protect her baby.

Max is fiercely protective of Crowley. That's why she'd be in conflict with Beelzebub - funny enough, for a similar season to the other stories (Beelzebub causes the death of her adoptive mother, after she realizes she's raising the Antichrist). Beelzebub hates Crowley, and the Beast of Rev. will show her very sharp teeth, should someone threaten her mom. Satan's on his family's side, don't worry.

Actually... You know why this story is cool? Horrific things happen to Crowley in my other fics. Not this one. Actually, she's doing great. She's the Queen of Hell. Damn... She'd outrank Beelzebub. She could terrorize... Her? Like I said, I haven't seen S2, Ι don't know the pronouns, and I don't care, you can get them right if it matters to you (I just know in S2 an actress from Bridgerton played her (?)).

As for Satan/Crowley... As long at Crowley's female, I don't mind it. I like it. Good for you, you little serpent tempter. Because, you know I always romanticise the Devil.

Have I any ideas for smut? You bet I do. I even have crack ideas... You know that picture of a female wolf protecting a male wolf's throat? Think that, but Crowley's coiled around Satan in her snake form, and snaps at anyone who wanders close.

So, I let this out into the web. Now I'll have to actually do it. Wish me luck. 😑

[softquietsteadylove]

Kinda missing the Ice Queen/Tyrant King AU!

Maybe you can write something where Gilgamesh and Thena are in a business meeting with some powerfull people but they are disrespecting and insulting them both greatly (especially Thena) so Gil truly gets angry. You decide if he destroys something or hits someone. An anger never seen before wich even surprises Thena.

It started out reasonably within expectation.

Some old associates of Gil and his family were coming into town, looking to procure some American 'goods' for their business at home in Korea. The negotiations made sense to hold between the visiting associates and Thena and Gil collaboratively.

They had met in Gil's office, in Koreatown. Negotiations went smoothly and it seemed that everyone was on the same page about how business would be conducted going forward.

And then they got a little too 'friendly'.

Word had spread back in Korea about Gil and his sham of an engagement. The Little Heiress and her family had not taken it lightly, airing their disagreement with Gil's entire family all too openly. The family had their reputations to worry about and apparently Gil was being labelled as a failure and embarrassment to the family and its business.

And yet somehow what they had to say about Thena was even worse.

They seemed to be under the impression that she wouldn't understand what they were saying in Korean. And while she hadn't extrapolated every single word exchanged, she understood more than enough to hear them cracking jokes about her being a whore.

"That's enough," Gil advised them, and in English--in no mood to entertain their gossiping (shit talking).

"Come on, Hyung," they both snickered while Thena merely sat there. "The only one who's a bigger slut than you in this situation is her!"

Thena kept quiet.

"Yeah, you chose this one over the Heiress?" the other one barked in laughter. "Great tits, I guess, but a little bony, no?"

"You say one more word about her," Gil growled at them, his fists clenching audibly.

"The fucking better be good--and I mean 'better than daddy's money' good!"

Gil rose from his chair slowly, an expression on his face like nothing Thena had ever seen before. And she had seen him work--he had seen her work. But this... "You don't talk about my wife like that."

"Please," the other snorted, jabbing his thumb in the direction of Thena's chair, blessedly separate from the small couch the two men were sharing. "This bitch? I don't know what kind of spell she put on you with that puss-"

Thena blinked, her hair rustling from the speed with which Gil had crossed the distance from between his desk and landed a punch dead centre in the speaker's face. He toppled over the back of the couch and rolled on the rug a few times, already screaming about his shattered nose cartilage and the bone being scrunched into his skull.

She had heard the impact of bone on bone.

The other one looked at Thena, who was as cold as ice (obviously). He looked at Gil, holding up his hands. "Okay, okay, look, we took it too far. We-"

"Apologise."

Thena barely moved her eyes as the man knelt down in front of her, begging her pardon for his words.

"Beg," Gil commanded, pressing his shoe against the man's head, driving him closer to the floor.

"Please, Ice Queen," the stranger snivelled, truly and deeply afraid of the wrath of the Tyrant King. "I beg your forgiveness."

Thena looked up at Gil, who was visibly deciding whether or not to crush in the head of the man like a can of beer. She drew her lace up around her shoulders, utterly unfazed as his business partner continued to writhe in agony behind them. "It's up to Gilgamesh."

"Hyung," the man cried, his head still being held down by Gil's foot, "p-please, I'll never--I'll never speak badly of your wife again!"

"You're right," Gil acquiesced, stepping off his head and dragging him up to his knees by his hair to look him in the eye. "You'll never speak disrespectfully about her again. And just as a form of insurance-"

They all knew what was coming: the prepayment--the deposit, as it were.

Gil wound back for a full force swing, punching the guy so squarely in the throat he choked and gagged, his adam's apple seeming to completely crumble into his neck.

Thena looked over at the mess of a meeting, both men writhing in pain, unable to speak or perhaps even breathe. "They'll make a mess of your floor."

Gil swiped his swinging fist off with his pocket square and tossed the handkerchief down onto the head of the one struggling the most to breathe. "So I'll tell their escorts to take them to the hospital instead of the hotel."

Thena remained seated, watching with a mild expression as he paged his building reception to do just that, also muttering about a carpet cleaning service to come for blood and whatever other substances were expelled while the men were fighting for their lives.

Gil sighed, ending the call and leaning on his desk. He looked up at Thena.

She loosened her lace just faintly. "I don't know if I've ever seen you so angry. And I heard about the threat you made to Eros to send him across the pond again."

"Yeah, but you didn't see it," he chuckled, although his usual lightness hadn't quite returned to him yet. "And I think you and I both have every right to be mad about the things they said about you."

"Like what?" Thena asked facetiously, having understood a minimum of 90% of it.

"Nice try, Princess," Gil managed a smile, walking out from his desk again and going to her side. He leaned on the armrest of her singular chair (he was never going to let those slime balls sit close enough to be within arm's reach of her). "I know you know what they were saying."

She thought she had kept her learning Korean concealed from him. But there would be time to worry about what gave her away later; she smiled up at him coyly, "Gilgamesh, being a woman in any business requires becoming accustomed to being called a slut and a harlot and any variation thereupon. They said nothing I haven't heard before."

"Well I couldn't let them say it when I was here," he grumbled, tapping the side of her elbow where her lace was resting, only to slip his hand under it and up to her bare shoulder. "Sorry."

Thena gave him a raise of her brow, "I think you rather like it when I let you act all macho and territorial."

"Let me?" he snickered before leaning down to kiss her cheek, whispering with his lips all but pressed against her skin. "I am macho, and territorial."

Thena allowed the gentle affection, despite not being entirely alone for it. Or perhaps it was because the evidence was so abundant that this man was willing to do absolutely anything for her, and her honour. She lifted a hand, patting his cheek lightly, "a bit of a showoff, is what you are."

Gil pulled back and offered a small smirk, but it was a hint of his genuine smile, at least. "Well, did it work?"

[taitropa]

The scene at the end of Crooked Kingdom where Inej scares Pekka Rollins so badly that he ran for the hills with no plans to come back to Ketterdam again is so gaslight gatekeep girlboss or whatever the kids say these days.

[nomaishuttle]

its spectacular how 1 room can have 2 of the most annoying beds in this entire dakn building. and yet