#my own personal bullshit

[chichirichick]

Big Feelings, Big Update

Love Me Just a Little

... gets another chapter. Check it out on AO3 or ff.net

Summary: It's Christmas at the Albarn's! Soul gets an offer he can't refuse (or can he?). We meet an old friend.

Below the cut are my blabberings about the trigger warning for this chapter and my own bullshit:

Today's trigger warning takes some explaining, but I'm not exactly sure how to do it myself. Anyone who says that fanfics aren't complex is fooling themselves because yikes did I ever have some feelings in this one. I hope y'all get that everything I write is a labor of love. I appreciate the kudos and comments, but at the end of the day all of these pages are for me. The issues I cover are usually just ways for me to process things and this chapter was no different.

You're probably not doing the math, but I'm almost 8 months postpartum now. You've probably noticed my ability to write has significantly decreased, and while I knew it was going to happen, I guess I wasn't ready for the feelings that came along with it. It's not even that I've transitioned to personal projects (oh, how I wish I could finish you, In the Land of Nightingales). Between work and my family, I rarely have any gas left in the tank.

I don't regret any of it. I love being a mother. I love my son. It's just a complex grey area that I live in now. I'm not exactly a person anymore but a parent. My little dude relies on me and my wants/needs have to come second. So my exploration of that with Soul/Spirit in this fic is just that -- feelings I've had, feelings I get. I don't want anyone to misinterpret this as a diss of parenthood, but just an examination of the difficulty.

Ugh, I don't know. I still feel like I have no idea what to label this as. It's just my useless drivel, I guess. Please forgive me if I've offended.

[choccy-milky]

ty to @icedmatchawoatmilk13 for sending this to me! i may have gone a bit overboard but this was so much fun to fill out/think about BAHAHA💖 ill still never get over how perfect the song sarah smiles is for them...the lyrics AND the fact that its an alliteration...im gonna do an animatic about seb and clora to that song one day i swear 😩 ((blank template by oakwolves!))

[qcoded]

I do NOT trust Luz Noceda haters. Some of y'all looked at this neurodivergent, teen girl and claimed she was a bad character?? and a mary sue??? LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE 💔

[boimgfrog]

it's always "autism acceptance" until the autistic person is weird, or fat, or a man, or has poor hygiene, or a POC, or makes unfunny jokes, or isn't a cute feminine gay, or is actually bad at communicating, or needs to have things explained to them, or is too loud, or too quiet, or needs to be told something multiple times to understand it, or has mannerisms that make people stare at them, or, or, or, etc. if you would show patience to the cute autistic girl who collects plushies and stims by flapping her hands then you MUST show equal patience to the large autistic boy who stims by humming or hitting his head and worms underwater welding into every conversation. I am no longer asking. your acceptance cannot begin and end with people you deem palatable.

[mitsuki91]

Unpopular opinion about tbosas: I think that Coriolanus Snow loves Lucy Gray Baird.

A more unpopular opinion: I think that Lucy Gray Baird loves Coriolanus Snow.

That's the real tragedy. Their feelings were true. Always.

[demadogs]

some of you need to hate ai way more than you currently do

[adh-d2]

All in favor of christening that maneuver the Phee Fall say 'aye'

[genericpuff]

"it's only been 3 months, of course we haven't turned a profit yet" - implied Webtoons in their recent Q2 meeting following their Wall Street debut

"it's only been 3 months, what do you mean the lawyers are already here" - I choked out as I was informed of the vultures circling WT's dying corpse from above

(literally just google "webtoons investigation" and you'll come across multiple articles covering different firms with the exact same claims and ongoing investigations)

Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, vultures are vultures, as soon as one smells blood the rest of them tend to circle in to get their own place in line. At this stage, it's simply legal firms that specialize in the investment sector sliding their cards across the table towards WT's investors like, "heeeey, give us a call if you, y'know... don't make your money back in the next three months :) or the three months after that :) we can make the money happen, for a price :)"

That said, whichever vulture honed in first, I don't think they would have followed the scent if they weren't at least somewhat confident there was something to feast on. Then again, I'm not a lawyer, nor am I involved in the complex world of investing and /r/wallstreetbets, but what I can confidently say is... of course Webtoons isn't hitting their projections, this is a company that historically operates at a loss, it says so right in their own IPO documentation. This isn't even some hush hush secret anymore whispered among creators who are privileged to that information or readers who can only take their best guesses, it's now literally official that Webtoons is historically bad at making money. And now in their attempts to save themselves, they've now put themselves in debt not only to Daddy Naver, but to all the eager investors who expected this to be their next big payout. And it's hilarious.

But what isn't hilarious is how this is undoubtedly affecting the creators on the platform, both Originals and greenlit Canvas creators who are currently working their asses off to launch their series. And so I want to make it very clear that as much as I'm currently taunting Webtoons much like the Road Runner taunted Wile E. Coyote's increasingly absurd stunts that always backfired tenfold, I also have the immense privilege of not being in the shoes of those who are witnessing this and fearing they'll be losing their jobs and opportunities.

To the people who are in those positions, I have the utmost respect for what you're currently facing. You're all investors in your own right, looking down the same barrel as the Wall Street betters who are realizing Webtoons' lied to them. You're investing your time, your efforts, your work, your creative rights, your physical bodies and mental health into Webtoons with the expectation that it will payoff. And as we've seen from many creators who have come out on the other side burnt out and often poorer than they were when they went in, that payoff doesn't exist 99% of the time.

So, with the privilege that I have as someone who's not contracted with Webtoons and isn't bound by an NDA and knows fully well how much Webtoons hates their public image being laughed at... my inbox is always open and the anon button is always turned on. Do with that what you will. And know that if you're someone who's currently trying to find a way out of Webtoons, remember the power you have. Their platform is nothing without you.

[stranger-theory]

Can we all give Mike Wheeler some understanding, please? I don't wanna hear your whiny ass say that Mike Wheeler isn't good enough for Will one more time, I WILL find your home address. (Directed)

"Will isn't 'head over heels' for Mike, he just has a crush" I'm sorry but did you have your eyes closed in the interview in which his actor explains how he's been in love with Mike since the first season?? Hello???

Mike Wheeler is a gay boy in the '80s. Mike Wheeler is dating a girl he doesn't love romantically to appear "normal". Mike Wheeler has seen several people brutally die in front of him. Mike Wheeler had to witness the disappearance and possession of his best friend. Mike Wheeler has dealt with thinking two people he cares about have died. Mike Wheeler is a boy who went through homophobic bullying. Mike Wheeler is a boy who had to save the world four times already.

MIKE WHEELER IS A BOY.

He dealt with all this bullshit at the VERY young age that is 12-15. You want to tell this kid he's a bad person for being stressed? He has so much on his mind at such a young age from literally all of that and you expect him to act rational? Peaceful? "Correct"??😭

You are literally stupid if you think that's the proper opinion. He is going through the same shit as the other characters, the only reason you don't get pissed at Will is because he internalizes his feelings, rather than kind of exploding (which is what Mike does). These are just different responses to trauma, dumbass. Sorry it doesn't look pretty for you, but that's not how it works.

Erm, have the day you deserve, I guess. Bye, chat.

[pluralhottakes]

I don't see the issue in believing that your alters are multiple people or not, but saying that it's "anti recovery" to believe that they are is genuinely one of the most idiotic things i've heard. i don't see why it's a problem? i know so many systems who consider themselves multiple people, who are doing perfectly fine in healing, without needing to see themselves as just "multiple parts of one person". Alters can be so completely complex, they can be so different that you'd genuinely see them as completely different people, because they are different people to that system. This is coming from a plural who sees their parts more as just different parts of themself, by the way. Believing your alters are just multiple parts of one identity is completely fine, but claiming that it's "anti recovery" for others to believe that they're multiple people is one of the shittest things you could do. Just let people do what they want, there isn't anything wrong with that? I definitely see that systems can quite literally have what is basically multiple fully formed identities, fully formed people.

.

[sanderssideswriting]

Yeah the ts crit community really is mostly on tumblr. If any crit on twitter is brave enough to call out thomas or even just ask a SIMPLE INNOCUOUS question like ‘hey whens the next sanders sides coming out’ they get dog-piled by his followers. Just now my twitter tl algorithm made some posts pop up from ppl I don’t even follow and they’re just defending thomas + his patreon and saying that we’re just angry jealous ppl who don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes for him (as if THEY do?).

I swear, the die-hard fans that are still left, I’m sorry, they’re not a fandom. They’re a cult. A cult of personality centered around one man, purely there to keep stroking and defending his fragile ego. They’re no better than the sw*fties or any other group of ppl driven by blind devotion, obsession and white knighthood.

Oh 100%, there's next to no ts crit community on twitter, I got curious and checked a few days ago, searching stuff like Thomas Sanders Critisism, TSS Criticism, TSS critical, stuff that's used over here and the only thing that got anything was the first, but then it was just showing stuff with "Thomas Sanders" or even just "Sanders" in the post. So it's hard to organize that kind of community, plus the die hards and Thomas being on there.

I'd say the only place the fandom is pretty active is on Twitter, and that's soley because of Thomas, because he interacts with the fans and makes it so that there's motivation to make tss stuff. You know there's a community on there for it and if you're lucky Thomas will see it and retweet it. Otherwise it's kind of a joke that the fandom is dead until it's breifly revived whenever a new episode comes out. Which then leads to parasocial relationships and the idea that somehow continues to persist that Thomas is a poor boy who can do no wrong and if he did do wrong he didn't actually know any better. Never mind he's thirty-fucking-4. And his fans are half his age.

One this I do kinda disagree with is the idea that all his die hards and current fans are like 14, which I just don't think is true, I think they were like 14 when the last proper episode came out, and are now more along the lines of like 18 or around there. He's got a lot of patrons, including 17 people who paying $125 a month, that money has to come from somewhere and I doubt it's all from allowances.

[itstimeforstarwars]

I think it's really funny when people say I'm converting them either to "korkie is a kenobi" or "korkie is not a kenobi" truthers. You don’t need to be a truther if you don’t want to. Join me in the middle with Schrodinger's Kenobi, where Korkie both is and is not a Kenobi until I figure out which option makes the plot funnier.

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[kedreeva]

Keep your FUCKING cats inside your FUCKING houses. Period. Some asshole outdoor cat just killed one of my birds, on MY property, inside of MY barn, inside their own caging. Not one of the peafowl, thank fucking god, but I'm LIVID right now

[kattythingz]

Hot take but Ed's crippling daddy issues and his trigger-happy attitude around older male figures in his life are completely valid and make a lot more sense when you, too, have crippling daddy/mommy issues

Stop forcing Ed to forgive Hohenheim 2024 :) Please :))

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

My eyebrows always crawl up to my hairline when I see people saying that Oda didn’t truly understand Dazai or know who he was behind his cheerful facade bc have you seen the Dark Era light novel

"You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."

--'Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream."

That was when Dazai first realized:

Oda Sakunosuke understood him much more than he'd ever imagined right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn't realize until then that someone had known him so well.

It's narratively acknowledged that Oda understands Dazai. Dazai knew Oda understood him, and even he ends up surprised when he perceives just how deeply. That's why he chooses to ask Oda what he should do, and why he chooses to keep saving people with the rest of the ADA despite not really believing in any capacity for redemption: because Oda told him to, and he trusts how deeply Oda understood him. Because he trusts Oda.

And another thing is that Oda does not tell Dazai to go out and save people because he believes Dazai needs to do that for his life to matter. Dazai is the one who believes his life doesn't matter, who searches for something that gives his life meaning, hoping it will show up one day if he just holds on a little bit longer; Oda is telling him that that magical something won't appear. You can't expect to turn your life around, for your hopelessness and despair to simply go away if you just find the right thing. There's no such right thing. What Oda is saying is that if Dazai is on the side of light, if he chooses to save people instead, then it will make the life that Dazai sees as so pointless and hollow "a little more beautiful." He's telling Dazai to help people not because he wants Dazai's life to have meaning - Dazai's life already has meaning to him - but because Dazai does not think Dazai's life has meaning, and Dazai wants Dazai's life to have meaning. And Oda wants to help him find a meaning that eases his hopelessness, even just a little. Even in his last moments, Oda wants to help Dazai, and even in his last moments, he chooses his words for Dazai's sake and not his own.