#my logic is bullet proof

[charli3emily]

Piggy had OCD because I have OCD and he is me

[traumxrei-archive]

【 take me home (don’t wanna be alone anymore) 】

summary: Yuu was standing and alive, a logical part of him said. Screw being fucking logical, Leona thought spitefully, they had almost died. (or, the leonayuu mafia au where yuu almost dies and leona isn’t equipped for how that makes him feel)

word count: 1.5k | warning: suggestive content

author’s note: leonayuu except they’re both bad with feelings + in the mafia, so the only way they know how to communicate is to hurt each other. hope you enjoy ^^

[ or read on ao3 ]

It was a greeting devoid of words. Leona's eyes met theirs and his hand slipped under their shirt in an attempt to deny it. To deny the fact that Yuu had gotten injured. Yet all that Leona could feel was the expanse of bandages covering their body.

His hand mapped the wrappings, from their ribs to waist to their lower back. They winced at his grip though they kept their mouth shut while the anger burned, scalded, and tore at him.

"Off," Leona demanded, and there was a short intake of breath before their shirt was being thrown onto their bed. It was worse now that he could actually see everything.

"What the fuck," He muttered as he traced over another bandage on their arm and shoulder that he had missed.

It was...maddening. Absolutely maddening how he saw red when it came to them; when it came to the bandages scattered across their skin. Yuu was standing and alive, a logical part of him said. Screw being fucking logical, Leona thought spitefully, they had almost died.

He was sure that they were dying to speak, their sweet words of reassurance ready at the back of their throat. But before the words could escape, Leona got there first. His hand wrapped around Yuu's neck, squeezing with promise as his other hand pushed them back toward the bed. They went easily, the movements practiced though they shouldn't be. Because it was the first time he had done this, the first time that they had—

Leona forced his gaze into theirs, finding a quiet trust there. He shouldn't have felt so reassured. Bad habits always die hard, he thought as his thumb pushed Yuu's chin to the side, exposing their mercifully unmarked— unhurt— neck. His teeth itched to sink into their skin, to force them to submit, and promise that they wouldn't do something so reckless, to never disappear from his—

Yuu's throat bobbed, and raw compulsion shot through Leona like a bullet.

He caved, his lips dragging against their neck. Leona had no mind to be gentle. Not when he was seeking reassurance in the most cowardly way possible. Their heartbeat thudding under his mouth, the feel of it spiking when his teeth bit a little too hard; a little too close to tearing skin. It was all proof that they were alive. Here. Right under him. 

Cowardly, how cowardly. The crownless king who had so much but couldn't truly ever possess the one thing he wanted more than anything. Because the only way to possess a person was to cut off their wings, they were...they were Yuu.

Wonderfully vexing Yuu, whom Leona would follow to his foolish death.

"Ah–" It was the smallest sound, just a half formed thing that had barely escaped by chance, yet he greedily devoured the syllable from their lips, his fingers tangling in their hair. His other hand traced over the bandages again, the one that mapped the expanse of their side, to the one at their arm, and finally to their neck, where he knew bruises would soon bloom.

Leona pulled away, the kiss ending as abruptly as it started. The only trace that neither wanted it to end was the way their bodies were still pressed together; hovering too close to feign ignorance.

He wiped at his mouth, "Were you trying to die without my permission?" It wasn't the right thing to say. Leona knew it wasn't, but they had been playing this twisted game for so long. Ever since that day he met them in that decrepit alleyway, the day they promised to follow him with blood staining their smile. He did not know how to treat Yuu with softness, for everything they did made him burn.

"Leona," There was a half smile on those lips; this time devoid of blood. "It was an ambush. I only did what I did to keep everyone alive." Liar, Leona bit back his words. He heard that they had been targeting Yuu. And he knew it was all to get to him.

"If I didn't want you alive, I wouldn't have taken you as one of my people," Leona was surprised at how calmly his voice sounded as he spoke, even if his fingers were digging deeper into the mattress. "If I had tired of you, then maybe—"

"Leona," His brow twitched, and Yuu's hand finally brushed his hair. Did his expression betray him? "I'm sorry it escalated so far." His lips twisted into a scowl. Leona's mind couldn't help but conjure the memory yet again. 

The sirens were blaring as he pulled up to the building. It was reported to be a fire, but he knew an ambush laid in wait. Leona rushed in, gun in hand as he fought his way into the office. There were too many scattered bodies for him to see straight beyond the smoke.

And Yuu was missing. The person that had tripped the fire alarm, recklessly locking themselves in the building with the attackers.

Leona broke down the door to his office. He found it ransacked, desk full of bullet holes. There was....blood everywhere. On his chair, his papers, the couches. It was like someone wanted to make sure that everything was as bloody as it could be.

The inside of the safe was the only hiding space left to check. A numbing fear hit Leona as he entered the code. You'd think that there was no way someone could survive after losing that much blood. But against all odds, Yuu had their gun trained on the door as he entered.

Yuu had seen him.

Their eyes flickered with recognition, as their lips mouthed what was he knew was his name. And it was like their will to hold on had vanished. Their eyes slipped shut, body growing limp and already cold before he could reach them—

A warm hand touched his cheek, and he looked at them again, "If I was ever gonna die, I'll die after you die."  Something in Leona calmed considerably at the sentence. It was a platitude, plain and simple, but he couldn't shake the deep satisfied relief he felt to hear it, even if they were lying.

Leona's eyes dropped to the bandages, and again the scent of blood seemed to cloud his nose. A hand tugged at his collar and Leona was jerked closer.

Now they were frowning, "Stop it." Stop replaying it in your mind. They knew him too well for him to hide any longer.

And then they kissed him.

I'm alive, look at me, they commanded, kissing him with such bruising intensity it halted Leona's thoughts.

Stop looking at me like I'm gone, they seemed to demand, their teeth biting at his bottom lip with purpose.

They hammered the words into him, and Leona felt almost breathless at the feeling. It consumed him, until all his anger faded and all he could think about was them, their presence in front of him commanding the same gravity that the sun wielded. And Leona was nothing but a slave to their orbit, as they were to his.

There was a tremble in their hand as they held his face, a gentleness unbefitting of the aggressiveness they displayed. If he was a coward, then it seemed that they were two of a kind. Leona knew it then, as his hand brushed away a stray tear from their cheek. (Did there exist a person who was immune to the fear of death? Leona sure had never met one.)

They parted, languidly this time, and Leona lowered his head. Their hand brushed over his hair before they spoke, "My wound hurts." Leona instantly shifted his weight, lying by their side instead. "It's not your fault, dummy lion." He grunted, keeping his eyes closed as they nestled closer. They held firm onto his hands, as if they knew that they itched to run over the bandages again.

"Welcome back, Leona," Yuu murmured, the nostalgic greeting burrowing deep into his heart, finding softness where he didn't know it was capable of festering. It was late, late by the weeks it had taken for Yuu to recover and wake up, and the weeks still it took for him to track down the people who had dared to order such an operation against his right hand.

"I'm back," Leona answered, and it felt right. It was a promise, between two people whose lies would probably bite them back someday. It was was an open secret that Leona would give his life if it meant that Yuu was safe. And he was sure that Yuu would do the same, no matter how much he insisted that they shouldn’t.

But that was who they were.

Two cowards, who couldn't allow themselves the weakness of love. Two liars, guns pointed at the most vulnerable parts of each other. But for now, they were just Leona and Yuu. And they were finally home.

supplementary brainrot bc this au has been plaguing me for days:

leona’s the boss and yuu’s the right hand (and ruggie’s the left hand >:D)

the gang started off as leona, yuu, ruggie, and jack, and grew into an actual criminal organization as they grew together

in this au, leona’s family aren’t in the picture bc leona ran away from home as a teen

the reason why leona’s so protective over yuu is because they grew up together

(they met as teenagers, and after fighting n saving each other a few times, yuu does the completely normal thing of offering leona their undying loyalty, and leona responds by doing completely normal thing of telling them that they’re now 'his person’.)

+ obviously he’s madly in love with them, he just has the emotional intelligence of a grapefruit (and so does yuu. rip relationship.)

they’re both bad at admitting their feelings; leona was worried and it translated as anger, and yuu was afraid of dying, but it translated as nonchalance,,,,,they’re just little freaks (lovingly)

also songs i listened to while writing: take me home by ateez; new cydonia by starcadian; easy love by sf9; gunners in the rain by mili

thank you for reading ! if you enjoyed, check out other fics on my masterlist or ao3 <3

[wellsbering]

i've been going through prismatic-bell's blog to try to piece together exactly what happened to make xir think that reporting someone to the FBI for terrorism with zero evidence was a logical course of action, and i came across something i felt like i just had to pick apart here. i thought about responding to the post directly, but i don't want my notifications to get overrun by zionists (i mean, that'll probably happen anyways, but...fingers crossed)

if you don't wanna read this whole long thing where i explain why this specific gofundme is indeed trustworthy, at least share & donate to muhammad's campaign here

first, what kind of fucking racist brain worms do you have to have to see an arab man asking for help and think that it's "threatening"?

what, exactly, is threatening about this screenshot? saying the honest truth, that being unable to afford medical care for a serious injury could make an amputation necessary??? asking someone to share a link on other social media to increase reach??? using ALL CAPS, LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET DO FOR EMPHASIS?? please explain it to me.

and then, of course, we have Zionist of the Year prismatic-bell's response.

most of these grammatical inconsistencies that prismatic-bell seems to think of as damning proof (mixing up 1st & 3rd-person pronouns, mixing up "hand" and "arm") are probably not things that someone who doesn't speak english would catch. tell me, tumblr: which of these do you think are "he" and "his", and which do you think are "i" and "me"?

if you're unfamiliar with the arabic writing system, you have zero clues to go on, right?

some of the people sending these asks are copying & pasting english text they see other people using to ask for donations (this is what led to that other scam controversy with bassel). learning a new language is fucking hard. trying to proofread their own messages in not just a foreign language, but a foreign ALPHABET, is not a good use of their time when they're in a warzone and desperately trying to ask anyone they can for help. also to elaborate on the hand/arm thing, it's not that fucking hard to find his gofundme, which contains photos of his actual x-rays.

you can see the shrapnel in his arm. reverse image search only brings up 5 results, 4 of which are tumblr posts linking to this gofundme, and one of which is the gofundme itself.

the bullet is in his arm. as you may imagine, having a bullet strike and break your arm is going to impact your ability to use your fucking hand. muhammad has nerve damage as a result of this injury. so yes, surgery is necessary. you can't really fix nerve damage with a simple round of antibiotics.

"ALSO also also: has nobody in Gaza heard of antibiotics? Why are we going straight for surgery?" is so fucking patronizing. yes, everyone in gaza has heard of antibiotics. unfortunately, antibiotics don't randomly spawn in hospitals like a fucking video game, they need to be TRANSPORTED there, which impossible to do when israel is blocking nearly all humanitarian aid from entering the gaza strip. this is why there are so many amputations being performed in gaza right now. they are running out - or in some locations, have already completely run out - of basic medical supplies.

also, by reading the gofundme description, the "rebuild" vs "evacuate" bit becomes clear: his family needs to rebuild their home, and he has to leave gaza to get adequate medical care. in other words, he has to leave a dangerous place that is being bombed to get to somewhere safe where he can receive medical treatment. if only there was a word for that. perhaps one that starts in evac- and ends in -uate. if only!

regarding the emojis: personally, i don't use a ton of emojis in my writing. but again, considering the aforementioned language barrier, is it surprising to see a lot of emojis? those are at least something that make sense in every language. they also serve to break up a big wall of text that people might otherwise scroll by. i have adhd, so sometimes if a long post is broken up with an occasional ❗ then my eyes will be drawn to that, and i will actually read that sentence and get put back on track.

i don't think i need to get into the "outed as a scammer" bit, since that's been thoroughly debunked. even blogs dedicated to identifying scams on tumblr, like kyra45, consider el-shab-hussein and 90-ghost's vetting process to be reliable and share their lists of vetted fundraisers.

and finally: "People can be bought. Accounts can be hacked. Maybe they used to be honest. They’re not now." this wording seems to imply that all blogs dedicated to palestinian gofundmes are dishonest? it's just as ridiculous to say "every single ask you get is a scam" as it is to say "every single ask you receive is legitimate". a blanket statement like this only serves to continue to undermine the legitimacy of the many REAL GAZANS who are asking for help to rebuild their lives.

i hope this clears some things up if anyone was confused about the legitimacy of some of these asks. the long and short of it is, it's not that hard to just look up a person's blog and see if a trusted person, who actually knows what they're doing (unlike prismatic-bell), has verified the legitimacy of their campagin or not. to be honest, i think that automatically assuming every ask related to gaza is a scam says something about the way you view palestinians. and it's not pretty.

[milkhwi]

Casino Nights - Gambler! Chenle

Summary: Gambling and more gambling, that’s all that mattered to Chenle. The probability of him winning was always high until one day you showed up and decided to change that and his life, too.

genre: gambler! chenle x  gambler! reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: illegal gambling & swearing probably not proof read enough

a/n: originally was supposed to be a bulleted scenario but honestly,, think this came out better idk anything about gambling dont do it kids- also it’s been in my draft since 2020 omg..4 years yeah last fic ever probably i’ve retired from my good old days. idk if anyone will read this but i’m proud :3 also my longest fic of my entire career who else cheered!

masterlist。

—

Dies being rolled, cards being shuffled, chips being placed, and bets being made. The casino was always full of gamblers- especially on a Saturday night. The casino was like a second home for Chenle. Every Saturday he would be there- gambling. Chenle, only being an eighteen year old, wasn’t allowed to enter a casino. Reason: age. Of course, it was no secret that gambling at that age was illegal. But Chenle was an exception. He knows how to gamble. In fact, he’s very good at it. The only reason he was allowed in the first place was because he’s rich. Being rich was an advantage to him. He put down exactly $10 million on the line- to which of course, anyone would accept if it was that amount of money. To make things worse, he was going to gamble against one of the best known gamblers. “If I win, I’ll be allowed to gamble and get twice the amount I’m betting. Alright?” Chenle said, with no tone in his voice.

Chenle’s opponent chuckled and smirked at him, “Alright kid, it’s a bet.”

Not long after, the best gambler out there was not only dethroned by an eighteen year old, but exactly 20 million in debt. Chenle chuckled slightly, “You were really that confident, huh?” His opponent gulped, he knew this was something so embarrassing that it would even haunt him in his dreams, “You cheated, didn’t you? Let’s go again, I’ll prove you wrong.” Chenle pretended to think about it, then nodded, betting down $30 million this time.

“Watch me close if you really think I’m cheating.” Everyone watching the game taking place was already sweating. Not long after, they were neck to neck- this made Chenle’s opponent laugh, relieved about the fact that he had a higher chance of winning, but since misfortune was on his side, Chenle won.

50 million in debt.

Suddenly his opponent stood up to say something, but immediately fell to his feet. Shaking at the realization. Chenle leaned towards him- towering him, “Wanna go again? Want to try proving me wrong again?” He said as his eyes darkened.

Everyone was shocked. How could someone so young be so deadly?

From that day on, Chenle became the youngest gambler. No one really opposed the idea of him becoming a gambler- especially at the gambling den and if they did, Chenle would ask them to play a few games.

Chenle did gambling as a hobby. For fun. No one really knew how he was so good at gambling. “He’s rich so he was probably taught in order to bring money to the house” or “What do you expect? It probably runs in the fucking family.”

The truth is, the first time Chenle gambled, he was at stake of losing everything. He wasn’t driven by money. He only gambled because he wanted to see how easy it was to see someone else defeated. He didn’t use his emotions- he used logic. After that, surprisingly- he didn’t get addicted to gambling like many do. Luckily, his parents weren’t aware of what he did in his spare time and they didn’t really care, either. 

His parents only cared that when he finally turned 21, he would take over the company- or when his dad retired and handed him the company. Chenle was completely fine with that but wanted to have a hobby that was amusing to the eye.

Once he got home back from gambling at an ungodly hour, he headed to his room. There was a golden envelope with his name written in calligraphy. He turned his head slightly, murmuring a slight “huh?” and opened the envelope. His eyes turned wide at the contents of the letter. He was invited to go to the most important event of the year, held once a year, the talk of the year- NCT, something anyone would die to attend. The only thing that went through his head was how much money he would make if he would gamble with the rich people attending the event.

-

“You’re gonna have to attend, alright?” His mother said, taking another sip from her coffee.

“I know. It’s next week, right?”

“Yes, so after your meetings and lunch go and get your suit tailored.” She smiled, and grabbed her bag heading out the door.

Chenle sighed, at the sight of the empty house and how alone he was in the morning. Once he finished his breakfast he headed out to his meetings.

-

The day finally arrived and his mood was going downhill. ‘It had to be on a saturday, didn’t it?’ Chenle rolled his eyes, knowing he won’t be able to go to the casino. He silently sat in the dining room waiting for his father to finish going through documents inside his office. “Your father is ready to see you.” His mother said, opening the door to the office, making Chenle stand up and head inside.

His father glanced at him and then back at his computer and continued typing. Chenle walked over to his father’s desk, causing him to stop typing and clasped his hands, “I heard your friends are also going to the event.” Chenle noded, a barely audible ‘yes’ coming out of his mouth.

“Well, besides that, put out some good words for the company and try to get us as many new customers you can.”

“Yes, father.”

Chenle’s head swayed back and forth, making his eyes flutter shut at the soft jazz music playing in the background while people talked amongst themselves. As his head was about to fall to the table, Jisung smacks the back of his head, causing him to jolt awake. Jisung laughs and says, “At this rate, you might as well go home.” 

Chenle looks at his watch and sighs, “It hasn’t even been an hour.” 

Jeno sits next to him and says, “Did your father tell you to promote his company?” 

“Yeah- like always.” 

Suddenly, two plates of food were placed in front of him, “While you’re at it, you should eat lots of food!” Jaemin grabbed one plate and started digging in. 

“He’s not wrong. We’re all probably gonna be stuck here for the rest of the night.” Renjun said, trying to grab food out of Jaemin’s plate. 

Chenle checks his watch again, realizing only two minutes have passed, sighing. He looked around trying to come up with a plan on how to leave without anyone noticing in order to go to the casino. He stands up waving slightly, “Anyways, I’ll catch you guys later.” 

“Where are you going?” Donghyuck says, his mouth stuffed with food.

“It’s a saturday.” 

All of them collectively sigh at Chenle- knowing he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, but allowed him to do it anyways since they were all friends.

Chenle wandered around aimlessly around the building. Trying to find an exit that was not the front door seemed harder than he thought. At times he got distracted at how many people he had to greet or how the lights oozed an unexplainable aura. He goes up the flight of stairs trying to see if there was a way out. As he looks around, he stops and gazes at you- because of how dark it is, he doesn’t recognize who you are.  But all he knows is, he has never seen you before at these past parties. Even though a lot of people attend, he knows everyone by memory. He continues going up the stairs trying to get a closer look at you, trying not to lose sight of you either. He shakes his head, thinking about how he should find an exit instead. 

About two hours later, he enters the gambling den and a familiar smell lingers around causing him to smile. It has only been a week but he already missed the sounds of the slots and the ambient music playing in the background. As he was walking to the furthest part of the den, he noticed how many people were causing a commotion around a table of blackjack. There you were. Betting with some random old rich man. Chenle shook his head lightly, sighing at the fact that you most likely have lost- if not thousands by now. He signals towards a dealer near your table and shifts his eyes towards you, asking what you were doing here. 

“They’ve been here for an hour. And they’ve won all their games already.”

His ears perked up to that new piece of information. All games won? Chenle loves a challenge. As he walks towards your table, watching you win. He reaches his hand out, “Let’s play a simple game of poker, shall we? I heard you’re pretty good for the hour you’ve already been here.”

“You’re not afraid to lose?” You say scanning Chenle’s face.

“Absolutely not, I have faith in myself.” 

You were in his territory after all, why would he be afraid? Especially if he’s never seen you around. So he put all his chips to bet. 

“Already? But it’s just the first game” You furrowed your eyebrows debating whether to believe if he was really good at this game. 

“One game is all I need.” Chenle said, as he sat down. 

You smirked, realizing how confident he sounded, you placed all your chips down, too. 

And so, the game began with the dealer handing both of you 7 cards. People were already gathering around the both of you. Watching and waiting for this weird tension to be cut. With your poker faces on, the game began, rotating from one another. 

“Raise” You said, causing Chenle to look up from his cards again. Although Chenle looked unaffected from the outside, he was confused, why would you raise again? Was your hand actually that much better than his? Or were you just bluffing? His hand wasn’t all that good, but he needed to win. He always wins. But this game seemed to feel like it was taking too long. 

“Raise, too” Not wanting to back down, Chenle was determined to win. He never felt like he was going to lose against you. Maybe you had a one hour win streak, but he was about to break it. 

Full house. A tie. Everyone started murmuring around the table. A tie? Against the infamous Chenle? Even Chenle looked slightly upset at this. But even this had a solution, he had the highest kind of a full house, automatically winning. 

“Congrats, I’m Y/n by the way. New to the area, heard the rumors, and I guess they were true! Let’s do this again next time, shall we?” Before Chenle could speak, you were heading out, and he was too stunned at the fact that he almost lost a game to some newbie.

“The Zhong Chenle.. almost lost?” Haechan said, bursting out in laughter. Jisung and Jaemin seemed to hold in their laughter in order to not hurt his ego, but hearing Heachans contagious laugh, they couldn’t hold it in.

“Guys stop laughing, this should come off as surprising instead. I mean, a newbie? And a tie at that?” Mark said, while also trying not to laugh. Jeno shook his head, looking at the ground, not wanting to add fuel to the fire.

“I lost my mind that night. I don’t know what to feel.” Chenle sighed, still astonished by what happened almost a week ago.

“Are you gonna go tonight?” Jeno asked, out of curiosity.

“Take us with you this time! I wanna see you get your ass kicked!” Renjun hit Chenle’s shoulder playfully.

He sighed and nodded, “Fine, just don’t say anything stupid.”

Night fall came, which meant gambling night! Chenle brought the boys and was looking around to see if you would show up again. And so, you did.

You walked up to Chenle, tapping him on his soldier, innocently smiling, “Hi! I sure hope you weren’t too hung up on last week’s match” To that remark, Chenle felt his neck burn up, out of embarrassment. The boys looked at him, their jaws almost dropping. They didn’t expect that to be the way the night was starting, but it was probably going to go downhill from that. 

-

After a few games, that Chenle obviously won. Your interest in him peaked, you were the same age as him after all, and wanted to know what made him more special than the rest. But your ultimate goal was to win a game against him in less than 5 months. This caused you to show up to the den even on the days Chenle never showed up for. But of course, he found out a week after, so he started showing up more, just to see what you were up to. It was strange, really. Both of you were gamblers, but the fact that he felt a connection with you since he tied a game with you was what kept him wondering. The fact that you kept coming and blowing up thousands of dollars just to play with him was also strange. You were a good gambler, keeping Chenle invested in your games. And so, you would meet outside of the gambling den, during the daytime to eat lunch or even dinner. He learned your hobbies, besides gambling all your money away and learned you were an exchange student with rich parents in the other side of the earth that would send you pocket money every weekend to treat yourself. Of course, they didn’t know you were blowing it off to some games every weekend, as long as you kept it hidden and kept a low profile, everything would be fine. 

Chenle felt like the closest person you’ve met in your life. You cherished your friendship with him, but after realizing it’s been 4 months since you’ve known him, you felt a strange sensation of wanting to be even closer to him. And you didn’t know if he felt the same. You didn’t want to risk it anyways. The fact that you managed to figure out how to beat him after 8 weeks of gambling with him and keeping up an act to let him win was something you didn’t wanna tell him. But you were going home for the summer soon and wanted to know if you were even coming back. So you decided to wait 2 more weeks and win against him officially. 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving soon.” Chenle said, sitting down at your usual table. 

“And I’m spending my last days at the casino, how funny is it?” You smiled feeling a sense of competitiveness rush up. “By the way, can I pick the game?”

Chenle nodded realizing they haven’t played a few certain games in a while. And one of them was poker.  “Poker it is.” 

As always, people were dying to see Chenle play against anyone, knowing he would win. But this time you weren’t gonna hesitate. As the dealer handed you  cards, you realized you had to win no matter what.

A straight flush. Everyone cheered around you. Chenle seemed to have gotten the second highest hand out of the deck, and there was no way your bluff was going to work against him. So, you showed your cards. A royal flush. The highest hand. Everyone stood quiet. Even Chenle couldn’t believe his eyes. He clapped, slowly causing everyone around you to cheer, “I knew you could do it, I always believed you.” 

As if it was the adrenaline or the amount of people around you, you suddenly spoke and said “Chenle, I like you”

People took this as a cue and fled to different directions, not wanting to know what was going to happen next. Chenle’s eyes widened slightly and chuckled lightly, “I like you too, so come back as soon as you can”

- 

That summer, Chenle would finally take over the company, which meant he would stop gambling if he didn’t wanna risk the future of the company. And you were working under your parent’s company but managed to land a sweet deal with Chenle’s company while his father still ran it and was allowed to work back with Chenle. 

Taking trips to Sin City was something you adored with Chenle. The faces of other gamblers were priceless when you or him managed to win flawlessly, and with no “record” of ever gambling before. You hardly ever lost any money, so it was only ever done for fun. 

“Chenle, I want to tell you something..” 

“Go on”

“I figured out how to beat you and let you win multiple times afterwards.”

“Oh, it clicked to me the first time we met, I think I got lucky the first time we met.” 

“Wait- really?”

“Yeah, but I was also really lucky that we met that night, I mean what were the odds?” Chenle says, planting a kiss on your lips gently, causing both of you to reminisce about the first time you met.  

[rin-and-jade]

I'm Definitely Faking: A Post about Self Doubt

Alright, i get it. Many people had done things like these but it won't stop me from taking this topic deeper than anyone had done (as i ever read them too) so, for any of you who are interested, or attempt to find a dedicated answer/discussion around this topic, please and PLEASE read it, you will not regret this.

I'm very sure most of you are doing your usual routine, until a thought strike at you fast as lightning, "wait, what if i'm just faking __", or if you knew something you "shouldn't" (say, being a system) then it makes you spiral down the rabbit hole, right? And it is not beautiful, it's extremely taxing both emotionally and mentally. Nobody wants to lie accidentally to people, what if we're actually fine? How would you know? Are you tricking people to get the attention you never received as a child?? How would you actually know?? And etc. I will tell you how. It will stop those doubts for good.

Where it all started..

First of all, anything can be the starting point to where it all goes down. But, generally speaking i think it stems from how people think of what being a system is like, and i mean it in a personal view. Too rare to have one? Probably faking, Good communication? Faking, aware of other presence of parts? I'm faking, can't switch? Faking again, darn it. You get the idea here, right?

About that crippling doubt of mine..

Why would someone panic when they think they’re faking, when real fakers never gave a fuck? The problem is not on the disorder but more on the lack of proof for certainty,, and because you start to doubt from it, you then think you’re actually faking. I have a few to say about how it attacks, so bare with me:

Tendency to think on extremes When you start to think that having something means needing to suffer for like every single second.. that one minute period of ease and relieve will be the bullet in the gun to trigger a thought of "faking". Getting a better view that, for example how depression means you can laugh or feel good from a comfort show, does not mean you don't have depression due to that particular moment.

Focusing on the wrong dot What if i tell you, that you might be looking at the wrong side? Be it only looking at one side of the coin (biased towards looking for clues to prove yourself wrong, e.g. alters are not distinguishable from each other, and so it means you're not a system) or focusing too much about how other's experience is like and if you don't relate then you're not real, or maybe you have your own assumptions/expectations about how the disorder should look like and when it doesn't meet the criteria.. well.. you know what to say.

"I feel like.." When emotions hits to the roof, logic gets thrown out from the house. Tell me who can think well in stressful moments,, the answer is no one, some can appear more collected or have a higher tolerance before they can panic but you get the point. We all have feelings at the end of the day, no one is unfeeling and no one can escape from it,, i'm not saying you have neglect it, more like i want you to be aware when those said emotions are controlling (more like affecting) your thoughts. Too much of it can throw off the balance in rationality, easier to dismiss proof, and worser decision making. So, if you feel overwhelmed,, make a quick choice on calming yourself down, it will be easier to challenge the worries and negative thoughts once you are aware and actively practicing.

This isn't my first time..

You guessed it. Sometimes one assurance won't do the trick anymore after a few weeks, it comes back with more and more bullets to shoot you down, who says the bullets are gone when someone makes a post about people that their experience is valid? You have to work on yourself, because one day, you will doubt about something people never post and you are alone,, dealing with all the murky thoughts will be less harder, if you follow these tips:

Everyone is different, the disorder never look static and same for everyone. Having a different struggle or way of functioning never equates to being a fraud. Tell yourself that.

Focusing on evidence, not on what you don't experience or have, being a green apple does not make you a pear,, you are still an apple because of its shape and taste and overall appearance. Not just because you're green, it invalidates every other evidence of what counts as an apple.

Throw away all those unhelpful confirmations, you don't need to constantly check wether your other parts are real, you don't need to know having a blackout means you're still not faking, you don't need anything related to this? Because we are going to heal and learn, confirming becomes obsolete,, as things will change, clinging onto an image on how you should be or live like will do no good. Seeking constant assurance does more harm.

Never downplay your own experiences. Easier said than done but i know someone will say right on my face that being beaten up regularly by a father is not that bad to develop trauma or a system (for example) while it darn is. If things are downplayed more often and to many aspects, you will be more prone to thinking that you're "faking". Due to the nature that developing this disorder requires severe and ongoing trauma, and guess what,, trauma comes in all forms.

With this, it will be much easier to accept you have a disorder,, and accept that it's not all black and white, actually this can be applied with anything, but my point is that. Practice more compassion for yourself, by understanding and being aware,, and not resorting to self negativity or elses, this will not be a major problem for you ever again. Also noting that yes its alright to relapse and question everything again, but this time you fight back,, you hear me soldier?

Do you copy that, *walkie-talkie sound*

- j

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Without Logic, or Reasoning

Summary: Din Djarin x Fe!Reader -> In truth, he didn't know why he saved her. Just that something in him, without any logic or reasoning, told him to do so. And it might have been the best thing in the world.

Disclaimer: I have used traslations from google and tumblr for the Mandolarian sayings. Also, used Google to create 'Hulbi Ca'Bar' (I have only watched the Mandolorian - no other Star Wars. I know, I'm sorry). Mentions of kidnapping, wounds, angst, parents, kissing, FLUFF. Not proof read.

She didn’t know where she was. All she could remember, or at least try to do so, was seeing a few buildings explode around her before running. After that, it’s a blur. 

Maybe a pirate ship? Maybe someone yelling for her but she couldn’t hear them - but she could see them. She didn’t know them that well, but it wouldn’t matter because seconds later, that building went up. 

Miraculously, she had made it out. Or, at least she thought she had. That was when-

She shot up. 

She seemed to be tangled in…blankets?

“Relax, hey, take it easy. You’re safe.”

She looked around to try and find where the voice was coming from. That was when she saw a man, clad in armour, sat on a box a few yards in front of her. 

So, he hadn’t killed her. Then what? Use for a ransom? She was still alive, she had to be being kept alive for something.

Not that she wanted to stick around and find out. Haphazardly untangling herself from the blankets, she stood up. “So, what? You just decided to kidnap me? That was it?”

So, she had gotten her memory back. 

She began to make her way towards the exit of the ship. “I’d call it saving your life.” He told her. 

“Oh, well, thank you so much for the generosity.” He got up to follow her out of the ship. “But I didn’t need saving.”

“Your planet was about ready to implode. If not by itself, then by its inhabitants.”

“Thanks.”

She looked around her. She wasn’t too far from a town - maybe she could walk it. “What planet am I on?”

He’d reached her side. “Nevaro.”

“But I thought-”

“It’s changed its ways since then.” He answered. 

He stood and watched her for a moment. “You know, if you let me help you-”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Fine.” He defeated. “But, just so you know, you have a…right there.”

She now looked down to her side and placed her hand to it. She had been shot. Mostly, the bullet had grazed her but it was still bleeding. 

“Oh.”

“You seemed tired so I let you sleep. If you let me patch you up, I can take you to the High Magistrate and he can help you find someone-”

“Well, from the limited information you’ve given me in the last five minutes, I don’t think that will be necessary.”

The armoured man seemed shocked. “You don’t know anyone outside of your home planet?”

“I barely knew anyone inside my home planet.” She pressed a hand to her wound. “Do you have-”

He handed her a towel, she thanked him before pressing it to her side. 

“We’re you an orphan?”

“Sometimes.” She answered. “Depended on when my folks wanted to admit my existance.”

“I’m…sorry."

“Don’t be. You weren’t the one to forget about me.”

It took the man a few moments to gather what she was saying. “Is this you…thanking me?”

She looked to him for a moment. Somehow, even though he was covered in armour, she could see him. Or, it felt that way. 

“Maybe. I mean, you did save my life. So, yes, thank you. I am indebted to you. And I don’t like being that way with people so I will find a way to pay you back.”

The man just nodded and turned back to his ship. “I have some clean-spray aboard and-”

She nodded. “That would be wonderful.”

All in all, she didn’t know whether to trust him or fight him. There was something about him that made her feel safe - like, with him, nothing could ever harm her. But, at the same time, she had never met him before. She didn’t know why he had saved her, or why he had been on her planet in the first place. She still didn’t know if he planned on killing her or using her for ransom. Not that he’d get much. By the sounds of it, half of her planet was either captured or dead. Or both. 

He had been concerned, telling her it was okay to mourn those she’d lost. But she just shook her head. “If you mean my folks, they’ve been off world for a couple of weeks. Some grand government thing, taking tours of other countries.”

He knew he would jump at the chance to contact his parents to tell them he was okay, if he had the chance. Except, she didn’t. She just sat there, on the stool, spraying her wound as if it was just about to become another battle scar. As if she hadn’t just lost half of her planet and home in less than a day. 

“Is it a custom not to mourn on your planet?” he asked her. 

She looked up. “No. I just…it’s hard to mourn the loss of something that you lost a long time ago, I guess.”

It took her a moment but as the spray settled onto her skin, she looked up to him. His back was to her. He was fiddiling with some kind of weaponry. 

“Why did you save me?”

He stopped dead in his tracks for a moment before continuing to move and handed her a bandage. “When…When I was young, I was told some people who I met, I would save. There would be no reasoning or logic behind it, but I would know I need to save them.”

“And that is why you saved me?” She asked. He helped her place the bandge on her skin and over her wound. 

“I do not know why I did, but I knew it was the right thing to do.” He answered, honestly. 

“Then what were you doing on my planet?”

“Collecting a bounty.”

“Did you get them?”

He shook his head beneath his helmet. “He managed to escape during the pirate raid. 

“What if I helped you?”

“What?”

“What if I helped you?” He stood now, and her eyes tracked him. “I can come in handy. It wouldn’t repay my debt to you but it might help.”

“You don’t know who I’m -”

“Hulbi Ca’Bar.” She answered. She might have been able to see his face, but she could see the change in his body language. 

“Please,” she scoffed a little. “Everyone and the droid’s mother knows he’s wanted by plenty of Bounty Hunters on 30 different planets. He’s skilled.”

“Do you know where he rests?”

She nodded. “I have an idea."

“Okay.” He finally agreed. “But first, I need to stock up on provisions and you need new armour.”

“What’s wrong with this one?” She stood, watching him throw a brown satchel across his body. 

“It’s old.”

After a short moment, she turned around, mimicking his voice. “Oh, it’ old he says.”

In the space of a few hours, she had been dressed in new armour upon the request of the High Magistrate. Mando- as she had come to know him as - had stocked up on provisions and everything he needed before they took off in search for Ca’Bar. 

It hadn’t taken them long to find him. With her knowing insider information, they’d found him in half of the time. But that didn’t mean it was easy to bring him in. 

Mando had approached him slowly, standing there, stoic. She tried her best to ignore how hot he was. There was just something about him. 

But, stuffing her thought behind her, she made her way around the bar to the back exist. 

It took a few minutes but eventually the back door swung open and there stood Ca’Bar, looking around frantically. 

“Hey, there.” She smiled. 

He attempted to run in the opposite direction but her shot was too good. In seconds, he went down, loopy and sedated. 

“Good work.”

She just nodded as Mando approached him and picked him up by his neck. That was when a droid came over, offering help. 

“No droids.” Mando stated, clearly. That was when an old, rickity manual cart was brough over and Mando dropped Ca’Bar inside before pulling him to the ship. 

“So, what did he do to get onto your radar?” She asked, as they walked abck. 

“He stole a key.”

“Physical or metophorical?”

He looked back to her. “What? Was it an actual key or was it, like, a map or something?”

“It was a code to a safe, off world of my client’s planet. A fail safe if something bad happened.”

“Like a world exploding.”

“Yes.”

By the time they got back to the ship, Mando freezed the body over. But that was when she heard noises coming from the sleeping capsual in the corner. She got closer, and that was when the door shot up making her jump back. 

“Grogu.” Mando warned. 

The green foundling mumbled something before looking at her with a wide smile. 

“Is he a…bounty or is he…”

She got her answer, however, when the green foundling jumped into Mando’s arms. 

She smiled a little. “Son, then.”

She couldn’t see his face but she coud have swore he smiled under his helmet. 

Mando placed Grogu on the floor where he walked towards her. 

“She’s going to be with us for a while. Be nice.”

Tapping the bottom of her leg, she bent down to pick him up. He placed a small hand on her cheek, feeling her skin beneath his hand. 

Mando chuckled. “He likes you.”

“Hi, buddy.”

Mando tried to ignore the way he felt when he saw Grogu in her arms, them both smiling. He also tried to ignore the way he felt every and any time he looked at her. 

He didn’t know why but his stomach would errupt in butterflies, his heart would so the same in turn and finally, his vision would become blurry as his thoughts turned his brain into mush. 

Over the following months, he found himself watching them together and most times, he just wanted to hold them both in his arms, and never let them go. 

The more he thought about Greef Karga’s offer. A nice spot of land. A job. A school for Grogu. Peace. 

But, the more he thought about it, the more he thought about her, too. Spending time with her, Grogu having a full family. 

He never thought it would happen, but recently, he’d been thinking about the ability to remove his helmet. 

Although his creed didn’t technically allow it, it did allow for the removal of the helmet in front of a spouse. Never in his life time did he think that the opportunity would even present itself. 

But now it had. 

It had been clear from a few month in that he was completly boots-over-helmet for her. Most people they ran into brought it up once or twice when they were in the vicinity of one another. 

After a month of recieving such comments, both of them - not going unnoticed by the other - had began to remain quiet on the subject, cutting straight to the point of why they were there. 

By that point, she had also come to learn of his real name. 

Din Djarin. 

She only every called him by his name when it was just them, together and alone on the ship. Other than that, it was Mando. 

Yet, he couldn’t ignore the way his heart leaped frrom his chest whenever she spoke his name. She’s always say it softly, and never with even an ounce of a harsh undertone. It was something personal, between both of them. 

Some nights, she’d ask him to tell her about some of the Bounty’s he had��caught. 

“Come on,” she said as she picked the meat from the bone. “A mysterious bounty hunter such as yourself should have at least one story to tell.”

In return, she’d tell him stories of her childhood. Some of the few adventures she went one when she was alone. How she’d climb the highest trees just to watch the sun set over her home. How she’d stay up all night to watch the stars shoot across the sky and how she’d make a wish in order that she might run away and make memories with…others. 

“I didn’t have many friends as a kid. Not many people wanted their kids to be friends with a Government’s daughter. I guess the thought that I could have ratted on them if they did something scared them too much.”

“And did you?”

She shook her head. “Not once."

“Did they ever do anything illegal?”

“Technically, no. Mostly it was using loopholes that were frowned upon.”

A few more months passed and before they knew it, it had been almost a year since they had met and he had saved her life. 

To Din, she had paid her debt a thousand times over in the year. But, selfishly, he didn’t want her to leave. 

So, he could only hope she had forgotten that a ‘debt had’ to be paid. 

Except, that thought came to a head when Grogu’s life was thrown into danger. 

It had been a band of pirates. They had wanted revenge for when Din had last out-smarted them. 

And they took a hostage. 

By the end, it landed in blasts being shot back and forth and before one landed towards Grogu, she had ran over, covering him. 

When she hissed in pain, Grogu looked to her. “I’m okay.” Grogu placed a hand on her cheek. She pressed her hand over his. “I promise, I’m okay. Come on, let’s get you back to your dad.”

Removing the small shackles the pirates had Grogu kept in, she picked him up and made her way out, Din not far behind her. 

By the time they made it back to the safety of their ship, Din flying them all out of there and out of harms way before destroying the ship behind them, she had a chance to inspect her wound. 

“I’m okay, kid. I promise.”

Din now turned in his chair, trying to maintain focus on the space in front of them but his whole mind going straight to her 

“You’re hurt!”

“I’m okay.” She reassured him, spraying another canister of healing spray. It would take a few days to properly heal, but it would do for now. “Din, I’m okay. Just get us out of here.”

By the time they reached Nevaro, he flicked on auto-landing and rushed to her side. 

“Let me look.”

The wound was still fresh but she’d be okay after a few days. He could see that for himself, but it was still too long. 

The home that Greef Karga had promised Mando was decent enough. Four bedrooms, a bathroom - as well as one in the master room - an office, a living room, a large enough kitchen and a garden in the back. Open windows in most places that allowed for a lot of natural light to sweep over the rooms. There was even a conservatory at the back allowing for them to sit under the stars yet still be comfortable and warm enough. 

Karga had also made the point that there were no droids around or in the building. There could be, if they wished, but he already knew the answer to that. 

Over the days that passed, it became harder and harder for Din to concentrate. And, unbeknownst to him, for her, too. 

Simply seeing her in this domestic setting in the morning, watching as she moved around the home, it was enough to make him fall so deep in love, he thought he might never surface again. 

And for her, seeing him now relaxed. Seeing him as he walked through the town, helping people where he could knowing there was no intimate danger, it made her heart swell. 

She may not see his face but she could tell. She could tell he was happy. 

She could also tell he was happy by what he called her. In the beginning, it had been by her name - once he learnt it. But now, her name was rarely used unless to catch her attention when she really wasn’t listening. Mostly, he used terms of affection; cyar’ika, mesh’la, cyare, and once or twice, riduur. That final one was only used in situations where there was a danger to her and even she could feel it. Din would step closer to her and be by her side the whole time. He’d also glare off anyone who walked within the direction of her. 

But, finally, after this foggy existence of constant feelings that felt like they would burst at any moment, a shift finally took place. 

Grogu had been taken by Greef Karga to an overnight school experience. it had been newly introduced to allow the students to learn more about the galaxies. They’d be sleeping under the stars in a safe dome whilst talking and learning all about the stars. And, somehow, Karga had convinced Mando and her to stay home. 

And apparently, that was the push that they needed. 

Being stood inside the living room, talking about Grogu; the subject of their lives came up. 

The debt was paid. 

She - although she could have always left - was free to leave. She was no longer indebted to him. She had risked her life in order to save Grogu. 

“What if I said I wanted to stay? What would you say?”

“You are family, to Grogu. I’m sure he’d be happy enough and-”

She took his hand in hers. “No. What…what would you say, Din?”

It took him a moment. He felt like a kid. One look from the girl he loved and he no longer could function like a human being. 

“I’d…” his voice was quiet. Both of their voices were quiet. Intimate. Were they finally going to admit what they had been haphazardly dancing around? “I’d say stay…”

He now lifted his head. “Stay with us.”

One small movement and she could feel the cold metal of his helmet against her forehead. 

A Mandalorian Kiss. 

Finally. 

She felt his hands grace her hips gently, being sure not to go too far up in case he grazed her wound and caused her pain. 

“Cyar’ika,” 

Slowly, the both moved back, able to see one another clearly again. Only, this time, Din’s hands moved away from her body and towards his helmet. 

“Din…” Part of her wanted him to stop. This was his creed. If he removed it-

It didn’t stop him. The hiss broke the silence in the room for a moment before he lifted the helmet from his head. 

It was the first time she saw his face. 

But it didn’t matter.

He was still Din. 

He always would be. 

Her hand raised to touch his cheek and that was when she felt his gloveless hand - he had removed them as he placed his helmet down - touch her own, enveloping it in his. He pressed her hand to his cheek, leaning into her touch. 

“I broke my creed over a year ago, before I met you.” 

It felt odd, seeing his mouth and face move as he spoke. 

He wondered if his cheeks were going bright red with love. Even though he could see her clearly through the ‘T’ of his helmet, this was something different entirely. 

He could feel her. 

“Even if I hadn’t…I would break it for you.”

This made a small smile grace her lips. Her eyes searched all over his face as if making a metal image that would last long after they were both gone from the world. 

“Can I kiss you?” She asked him. 

A moment passed by, although comfortable. He nodded. That was when he felt her forehead on his. 

Skin to skin contact. 

He felt his cheeks warm, her hand still on his cheek from earlier. His hands now back by her hips, pulling her a little closer.

Then, her kiss. 

It was soft. New. Perfect. 

It was both of them, together, officially. Locked together for what they wished would last forever. 

They pulled away for a moment, smiles on their faces that hadn’t been seen…ever. 

His hand now graced her cheek, pulling her in once more. This time, the kiss was more. The push and pull of one another until finally they pulled away, reluctantly, for a breath of air. 

Their foreheads lay together once more. 

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum,”

She smiled. “What does that mean?”

“It means, ‘I love you’.”

She couldn’t help but smile wider, even if she did try to suppress it before her cheeks hurt even more.

“And, what does Riduur mean?”

She saw Din blush for a moment, breaking eye contact to look away and down. “My wife.”

She smiled again, placing a hand on his cheek and her thumb under his chin to make him look at her. 

“I like the sound of that.”

He smiled back before surging in for a kiss. This time, it was more heated and passionate, pulling each other as close as possible. 

They’d danced about this for a year or more. 

They didn’t need to anymore.

[cheeriecherrymain]

With Love, Pip

Viktor x Reader

Content Warning: loss of a pet (cat), hurt/comfort, let me write my silly little stories for comfort, okay

Format: Headcanons/bullet point story

---

---

-Viktor sits idly at his desk, listening to the tick of the small clock set on the edge of it. He pokes and prods at a delicate machine, oh so carefully folding tiny wires over each other and soldering them into place.

-You’re late.

-He has other work that desperately needs to be completed, but he finds himself unable to focus on anything less than menial. Not when your presence isn’t lighting up the room.

-It’s not so much your presence, he realizes, so much it is the fact that you’re late. You’re never late. 

-Every morning when you woke up together, he’d tenderly kiss your face until you squirmed and opened your eyes. You’d smile drowsily at him, and brush some of the fluffy hairs off his forehead, trying in vain to tame his bedhead. Your conversation would be quiet, while he got ready to head into the lab.

-You always stayed in bed while he shrugged on his clothes for the day, sitting up only to help him with his tie, and to straighten his vest. You’d tell him about your plans for the afternoon, and whether or not you were planning on dropping in - if you’d bring food with you, and if he had any requests.

-But now, settled at his desk, he wonders if his mornings are blurring together. He loves waking up next to you, and he loves the little bit of time you get to spend together: it might be expected and predictable, but it’s hardly monotonous. Every moment with you is something to be remembered.

-Which means you must have said you’d be in during lunch, today.

-Which means you’re late.

-He knows that he’s being a little overbearing about it. But part of what he loves about you is the fact that he rarely has to guess - not about where you’ll be, or when you’ll be. He doesn’t have to worry about having to sit through some kind of weird dinner, or floundering around some spontaneous date activity.

-He enjoys the mundanity of your shared home life, and he’s comfortable in the routine you’ve made together.

-Which is why he’s so stressed that something has changed. Without his knowledge, nonetheless. It wasn’t like you to just up and decide to do something different with your day - not after you’d already told him you’d come by to visit, and not without talking to him about it first.

-Which makes him think that something must have happened.

-Logically, he knows that something happening doesn’t mean something bad. For all he knows, you could have run into an old friend on the way over, and gotten caught up in a lengthy conversation. Or maybe some parts of your usual route had been closed, and you’d had to go around.

-But he can’t shake the feeling that something terrible has happened. 

-But you’re only ten minutes late. How would he even explain to Jayce why he needed to leave early for the day? Explain that he - a man of science and hard proof - had an awful gut feeling that something was wrong?

-Jayce wouldn’t make fun of him for that sort of thing - they’re friends, and Viktor knows he struggles with his own set of issues. But still.

-After much internal debate, he decides that he’ll wait. Patiently, and quietly, he’ll work on his tasks and go through his experiments, and if you’ve still not shown up by the end of the hour, and no message has come by to explain your absence, then he’ll consider stepping out.

—

-As luck would have it, he gets a little caught up in everything. Like usual, he’s distracted by his work, and the act of fixing smaller experiments is enough to quell the anxiety looming in the back of his mind.

-Until he finds himself squinting down at the little details he’s picking at, having to flick on a bright overhead lamp just to continue to see what he’s doing.

-And that’s when it dawns on him.

-The sun is hanging low in the sky, casting beautiful pastels and vibrant reds across the sky…and you’d hadn’t shown up at all. 

-He sits up in his seat, glancing over to the clock on the corner of his desk to confirm that yes, it’s really that late in the day. 

-It doesn’t take him long to pack all his things, tucking away a couple of notebooks and small tools that he might need for his projects around your home. Jayce doesn’t even bat an eye at him, wishing him a pleasant evening as he slings his bag over his shoulder and slips out the door to the lab.

—

-He’d hoped that the journey back to your shared home would have relaxed him a little bit. That the fresh air would have soothed the worries roiling around in his gut, and calmed his lingering sense of dread. But everything seems to have the opposite effect.

-Every step he takes towards where he hopes you’ll be, his heart sinks lower and lower. As if he’s expecting something terrible to have happened, as if he somehow knows that you’re sick, or hurt, or worse.

-He tries to tell himself that he’s overreacting - that what he’s feeling is nothing but a lingering anxiety after you’d failed to show up for lunch. It’s normal to be worried, he thinks, as he unlocks your front door…

-Only to find that it’s already unlocked. His brows pinch together in concern, and he steps inside to further investigate.

-It’s only worse once he’s in.

-From what he can see, nothing is any different than it had been that morning. Everything smells the same, and looks the same, and your keys are still hanging on the hook behind the door. Your shoes are on the rack, and your coat is in the closet, which is still open from when he left.

-But the air is stifling. Heavy like lead, bearing down on him and crushing the air out of his lungs.

-He toes his shoes off, and lets his bag drop softly to the floor. He calls your name. Steps further into the apartment. Calls your name again.

-Everything is silent, except…

-He hurries towards the sound, letting it lead him deeper and deeper inwards - past each room, dark and empty and untouched. Until he reaches the familiar sight of your bedroom, where he finds you.

-Curled up in your bed, still and silent, save for the occasional wet sniffle. He murmurs your name again, concern rising quickly in his chest as he makes his way over to you. You don’t say anything, don’t turn towards him or croak his name. You just…lay there.

-And once he’s at your side, he sees why.

-There, bundled up in a towel and protectively nestled in your arms, is Pip. The little cat you’d adopted years ago - before the two of you had even met each other. She was a constant companion in your life, your baby, the furry holder of your heart.

-Pip, who had wormed her way into his heart as well, providing him with comfort and affection and the aesthetic addition of cat hair to his clothes. Warming his lap on cool winter nights, welcoming him home when he arrived long after you’d gone to sleep.

-She could be sleeping, he thinks, but staring down at her, at you?

-He knows.

-And it breaks his heart.

-He doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t try to ask you what had happened, doesn’t try to ask you to recount the day and go through everything all over again. He leans his cane against your bedside table, and clambers onto the mattress beside you, slotting himself firmly against your back, letting his body slip into the same curve as yours.

-Your sobs come harder, when he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in your hair. Harder and harder, the tighter he holds you: as you allow yourself to let the grief sink in, knowing he’d be there to catch you.

-The three of you stay like that for what feels like hours. The sun dips below the horizon, and the sky darkens, revealing the twinkle of stars. Neither of you want to move from where you lay tucked up with each other, the only place you feel you might be safe from the harshness of reality.

-But you know you have to.

- “Do you think our landlord would let us bury her in the back garden?” you ask, your voice raw after so much crying.

-He sighs deeply, blinking back the newest sting of tears. “I think so,” he replies, laying a long kiss on the curve of your shoulder. “He always brought treats for her, whenever he dropped by to check in. And I know our upstairs neighbor put one of their own to rest beneath the cherry bushes.”

-You sniffle again, and he watches sadly as you stoop to press one last kiss to Pip’s soft, dappled head, before covering her with the towel.

—

-The rest of the night is quiet and somber. The two of you make your way to your landlord’s apartment, to quietly ask for permission to put Pip in the garden. He understands, like Viktor had promised he would - even more, he helps you dig a little site for her, while Viktor keeps her safely swaddled in his arms.

-He then leaves the two of you to lay her down, rumbling his condolences before heading back into the warmth of the building.

-It almost feels wrong, leaving her out in the cold like this. But you know, and Viktor knows, that she’ll be happiest there: in the soil, among the flowering plants, where she can return to the universe.

[worldwide-simp]

Diary of the inferior

Scp x reader

(isn't really proof-read )

This is something I had written a few words of, stored in my drafts and didn't let it see the light of day (see what I did there hehe) for some time. But I have now finished it (kinda) and its certainly one of my longest pieces. 

(The first few entries are short and poorly written, but it becomes better after some time.)

warnings: gore, kinda pessimistic views, I hate Entry 1 with all my heart, false reality, violence, euthanasia, body horror, religious talk, death.

Scp 105 is post Omega-7, she’s 24 here.

Entry 1: New Beginnings

Dear Diary, 

Maybe I should’ve listened when people told me to never take strange job opportunities.  

I thought it was perfect, I was working in a shop on minimum wage, and I could barely afford simple life necessities.

I still had to pay off my student debt and that made life all the harder. When I saw this strange opportunity presented to me by a shady caucasian man, I believed that this would be my saving light. 

I wish I had been shot that day. A bullet mysteriously found its way into my skull. A news reported merely stated it was an accident; or running from that horrid officer only to “disappear” and never see the light of day again.

I just wish that death had claimed me as one of their countless victims before immortality and the infinite loop of time laid hands upon me.

—-

Entry 2: the flower of beloved Iris

Dear Diary, 

On my photo ID, there was my smiling face. It was a smile of pure joy. You could glance at it and call it cheeky if you dared. But I was merely innocent. Innocent as a human could be. 

After the photo had been taken, I was briefed on what I’d be doing. A rambling speech about the foundation's lack of care for qualified staff and instead people with logic and reasoning. 

That gave you a fighting chance, because how bad could this job be if you just needed a little logic?  I met a girl a few weeks later. I always wondered why she had that camera with her. Perhaps it had been a dear hobby of hers? 

I found out my presumption was wrong when she took a photograph of a flower in a vase some distance away, took the picture out and then proceeded to stick her hand in the image; giving me the flower after twirling it in her fingers. 

Iris seemed proud of making me joyful, I believed I laughed all night. I later placed the flower on my desk, and even after it wilted and its petals fragile and bleak; I still folded it into my pocket and to this day it still resides there. 

She was more on the quiet side but still gave me those sad smiles with dimples on her cheeks.  I had distinctively remembered wondering about the cause of those scars on her eyelid, jaw and hands.  — 

Entry 3: false reality

Dear Diary, 

I found out Iris was an anomaly; an Scp, if you wanted a more precise definition. This was told to me by a person higher on the foundation hierarchy for its staff. Not Iris herself. 

Was I slightly hurt? Yes. 

It had left me staring into a void, although I had seen her camera doing its magic. I must have created some false reality in my head that explained this bizarre situation. 

At the time, I was scrawling through my notebook with such vigour it was comparable to an inspired writer. I was not inspired in a awestriking way. Simply wanting to write about my trepidations concerning this topic and send the letter to me in a shitty way of making myself laugh.

(Mind you, if you too were stuck as a lab assistant watching sentient doughnuts bite people, you almost certainly develop terrible humour.)

—

Entry 4: the beginning of the end

Dear Diary, 

Something strange had occurred.

I had been assigned a mission. Naturally I was confused. Lab assistants being assigned things other than cleaning up the blood after cross-testings? It was something I found most peculiar. 

They, (foundation staff),had suited me up in some strange black equipment, handed me a gun and pushed me over to some people waiting inside a black van.

I don't even have a formal qualification to handle a gun; I had screamed. Why would this be happening? I remember saying that to myself. over and over again.

A pathetic mantra that I so feebly considered answered by the many voices in my head. I cried. Then I wiped the liquid with my hand; I had refused the notion that I was a weak, feeble creature hiding the true meaning of my nature. 

When I really was just that. 

All those other people had kept their heads down, mindlessly fidgeting with their hands or drumming their fingers nervously on the knee. I merely stared at the wall, already feeling the sensation of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. 

I didn't know them, and at this rate; I would never.

—

Entry 5: pathetic chess games

Dear diary, 

They had gotten off the van, dressed in full tactical gear and shivering with a dreadful fear. This situation felt wrong and I memorized the look of someone who knew too much. It was in a puddle of water. It was my face.

Perhaps I was seeing the foreshadows of fate that dangled right in front of my eyes. But I saw nothing, heard nothing and knew nothing. This was all one of the many cruel games the foundation played, killing people as if they were mere chess pieces. 

All just to win to the game, only for another to proceed after that.

—

Entry 6: the majority and the minority

Dear Diary, 

 Scp-001 S. D. Locke’s proposal is one of the many 001 proposals that exist: detailing the sun becoming a hostile being that eradicates human beings, converts them into sentient piles of flesh which aim to find unconverted humans and drag them into the sunlight, for them too to become those hideous masses of skin. 

The scenario occurred in my timeline, at first I didn't know what was happening, only that the other staff members had screamed about the light being good and holy before I heard the most awful noises.

It squelched, moaned and cried. I suppressed gags and muffled my mouth with a cloth. What the fuck was happening? Where had they all gone? Why do they sound not human anymore?

I had ran out from the cover of the van to shield under the safety of a building, not before looking back and laying my eyes upon a horror of flesh melting away under the rays of the hostile sun, dragging its amorphous clumps of bodies towards me. 

They had once been human like myself. I had only saved myself but not them. I should go join them to redeem myself to the judging light and have my sins cleansed. I was a wretched human not worthy of being alive. 

I kept on running, determined to never let the sun touch my skin ever again. I had slammed the door of the building. It was desolate and empty. When I’d step on the ground too hard, I could hear the echoes of the impact.

The was a distinctive waft of bleach, specifically chlorine that reminded me of swimming pools. There was a lack of furnacing; which reminisced the not-so-distant memory of my office. I took shallow breaths, slumping down to the ground and rubbing a sore ligament. 

This was a weak thing a human could do, but I sobbed. I cried and cried until I felt like everything went numb. But it cleared my mind slightly, feeling less like a suffocating cloth and more so like a haze of cloud. 

I felt around in my breast pocket, closing my fingers around a packet and tearing it off and chewed on the granola bar slowly. My mouth felt dry and my throat burned, however, despite the lack of comfort, I still ate. 

I pondered on what I could do. Could I stay here and call for backup or try to find someone who was still alive? 

I sighed, then fiddled with the packet from the granola bar. Was I at fault for my comrades being turned into those abominations of flesh? I could've saved them; told them to stay inside the van and that I’d go out and check. It would’ve resulted in my death, but wasn't appeasing the majority a more important factor than the minority? 

—

Entry 7: The silence of the lamb

Dear Diary,  

I had a radio that I had snatched last minute from the van before dashing off. I had tried reaching out to anyone I could. But there was only silence.

—

Entry 8: Nihilism

Dear Diary, 

I had successfully contacted a person without being disoriented by loud static. I heard heavy breathing, it was loud and quite alarming. There was a persistent sloshing of liquid in the background. It was quiet for a few seconds; eerily quiet. Before someone spoke. 

“You are alone. You will stay forever alone if you do not accept the beautiful light. Go outside.” 

I threw the radio to a corner of the room, and it broke into several pieces. The voice didn't sound human anymore, it was distorted with an otherworldly passion. I was so blinded by the anger that had irrationally consumed me for a second I broke my only means of communication.  

Maybe I would be truly alone if I didn't go outside.

There was nothing to live for anymore.

—

Entry 9: kiss away the gore

Dear Diary, 

If loneliness was the way I would die, perhaps it would be better to perish in the sun than of hunger and the echoing quiet. I lived in cowardliness and fear. I can be free where I belong. 

I opened the door I had blocked two days ago. Such a feeble mind, but I had found revelation.  I will cleanse my body of this impurity, harbouring sins and the devil's hands caressing my skin. 

I will burn it all away. 

This was the only way I would be accepted, then I’d find peace. 

I stepped into the sunlight and stared at the scarlet sun's beauty. I felt my skin being pulled apart, melting into a puddle of goo, bones liquefying and a boiling feeling. My human mouth shrieked, but that was insignificant. My fingers merged together before becoming a singular stump and my body was crafted new.

There was an agony I couldn't describe in words. No matter how many times I may rip out this page and rewrite it countless times, no work of poetry could ever shed light on the feeling. 

My body was crafted pristine, I now moved surprisingly fast. The puddle of goo had moulded itself into the body of my absolute nature. I sought new flesh. That I would bind myself to another pure being. 

Later, I stumbled across a facility devoid of people, there were only pools of blood on the floor. The once pure white walls had undertones of fleshy colours. If I were still human, I would've gagged at the goriness of it all.

But I didn't, instead I lurked deeper into the building. A net ensnared my body all of a sudden, and I choked out a throaty snarl. A familiar figure loomed over me, with a knife poised at my throat. 

I gnashed my fleshy teeth together, reaching out to capture this impure human and bring it to the light. But the creases under their eyes faded, tossed the knife to the side and removed the netting. 

What was this revolting human doing-

I was engulfed in an embrace, a hand of theirs resting on the small of my back and the other placed upon my throat, pushing it back. Almost as if it was endeavouring for me not to rip out their face.

“I can't believe something like this could happen to such a beautiful person like you.” They murmured, gripping my body tighter like I would dissolve into ash at any moment. My jaw snapped abruptly and they hushed me. 

I heard the shuffling of fabric. Cool metal grazed my face before I heard them speak again; “It must be painful for you, I’ll shoot you so you can rest peacefully.” 

Then they squeezed my back with such gentleness it would be hard to imagine that someone like this would shoot me. 

The last things I felt were the soft fluttering of my dead heart, a soft kiss on the lips and seeing their appearance one more time. Admiring their shortly cut blond hair, scars adorning their face and cerulean blue eyes. 

Those beloved dimples showed as they smiled so miserably at the prospect of being alone once again. But this was for your sake. 

“Wait-”

She pulled the trigger. 

And you saw nothing. 

[ouatsnark]

CaptainSwan has an abusive marriage because Hook was a villain. DEBUNKED.

I had a request on X formerly known as Twitter to debunk the below CaptainSwan hate. I think I have covered all of this before but I thought I might remind the Regina Apologists that if you use these arguments against CaptainSwan you’re a raging hypocrite. So yes, this is going to be another “but what about your ship” post just for the purpose of pointing out the hypocrisy.

So buckle up CSers and let’s dive into another installment of “WTF did that Regina apologist just say!?”

Proof of Emma & Killian’s Abusive Marriage?

Apparently Emma is doomed to a life of abuse, because according to Regina Apologists, Killian has a history of abusing Emma:

Hook physical assaulted Emma: Body Slamming, Shoved, abused other women too (villain Hook)

Hook sexual assaulted Emma and other women (false)

Hook attempted to kidnap Emma’s son (a swing & a miss)

Hook has poor communication skills (writing trope, stfu)

Hook has a drinking problem (HAD. therefor head canon)

Hook is rude to Emma’s mother (shower remark) and Henry (ONE TIME. You’re never rude to anyone?)

Hook shifts blame from himself to Emma (ONE TIME if you even want to count this & it’s about killing David’s father & he corrected himself)

Hook made Emma co-dependent as she was willing to let her parents die and her brother become an orphan (What is this even? Is it the Under World trip? But Henry isn’t mentioned… I think they got their Regina list confused with the Killian list.)

Hook treated her like trash, manipulated & lied to her, put her down, especially when angry (Villain/DO Hook)

Hook jumped off a roof just to get Emma to talk to him (get over it losers)

Hook is Professor of Moodiness 101 (What is that even? They didn’t have enough bullet points I guess)

Hook thinks family and friends are possessions but Emma’s loved ones are threatened by Killian?? Tried to maliciously kill Emma’s family and friends (more Villain/Dark Hook & he apologized, went to hell and was tortured)

What about the future of Regina & Emma's toxic friendship (cause canonically that's all that existed)?

Regina physically assaulted Emma and plenty of other people too.

Regina sexually assaulted Graham AND y’all seem to think “taste my forbidden (poison) fruit” is sexual.

Regina abused Emma’s son, tried to turn him against her and then attempted to kidnap him (she was evil so she had no rights, please understand this)

Regina has a self-centered, wont listen to anyone else, attitude problem

Regina also has poor communication skills

Regina is rude to Emma’s family and friends ALL OF THE TIME. So not just once like Killian. But All the time.

Regina was the one that actually let Emma’s parents sacrifice themselves in S6 for her instead of being a true hero.

Regina actually treated Emma like garbage before and after her supposed redemption (Regina lied, manipulated, used, insulted, degraded and dismissed Emma all 6 seasons)

Regina used the dagger to hurt Emma and tried to force Emma to tell her secrets that Emma didn’t want to share with Regina

Regina murdered Emma’s wish parents in front of her & no amount of begging made her stop (she still failed)

Regina destroyed Emma’s life and was the one to actually try and murder Emma and her parents on multiple occasions AND SHE DOES NOT REGRET IT.

If things that Villain Hook and the Hook consumed by Darkness did is proof that redeemed Killian Jones will abuse Emma Swan then the exact same can be said for Regina Mills. And Regina was never consumed by darkness. I know you all like to pretend that Dark Hook was the “Real Hook” but it wasn’t and you need to get over that. The darkness controls & manipulates its host but you’d know that if you looked at Rumple or even watched Season 5.

So are we done using these as reasons Emma and Killian will have an abusive marriage? Because obviously if SwanQueen had ever been a thing then they would have an extremely abusive partnership if we apply this same logic to them. Actually, Regina is more likely to abuse Emma than Killian Jones because between the two of them my list is more accurate for her and she has history of domestic violence (Graham, Snow, Henry, King Leo, her father). And the fact that Regina is an abusive “friend”.

But OUATSnark, all of these one time things add up! Yeah, we’re human beings. Our mistakes tend to do that. That’s why circumstances, context, intent and patterns and responses matter. So let’s break these down one by one shall we? I will be throwing Rumbelle into the mix just in case any Rumbellers out there wanna agree with the Regina Apologists.

Physical Assault

CLAIM: Hook physically assaulted Emma by body slamming her and shoving her. He also physically abused other women.

CORRECTION! Emma and Hook physically assaulted each other. Kinda. Is this what the kids are calling sword fights these days? This happened when Hook was a villain. When Emma and Hook were on opposing sides. Yes, they had a sword fight. Things happen during a sword fight. You know how that ended? He got a rock to the face. Way to go Emma! That was also after she betrayed him. Way to not listen to your literal inner voice, Emma. And yes, Hook gave her a little shove out of the way to get to Rumple. All of this happened when they were still enemies.

Neither Hook nor Emma touch each other in a violent way once he is on his path to redemption and aside from them being literally consumed by evil. Them as dark ones is not a measuring tool for how they are since they’re no longer consumed by evil.

Other abuse: Yes, Hook was a villain. He had victims that were women. He had victims that were men, too. The women victims, however, weren’t victims because they were women or because he was seeking to control them in a relationship so that does not mean he’d be an abusive husband. He was an equal opportunist villain. Please check his EQUAL partnership with Milah as more proof he is not a domestic abuser. Just because someone commits one kind of crime doesn’t mean they commit all kinds of different crimes. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

So why is all of this a problem now that Hook’s redeemed? It’s not a problem unless you hate CaptainSwan because you (wrongly) think Hook ruined your chances at your actual abusive toxic ship because…

Regina was physically abusive to Emma before her redemption:

She tried to poison Emma, twice (S1)

Threw her down a driveway (S2 when Emma rightly called Henry “HER SON”)

Punched her (S1 over Graham)

Choked her (S2 trying to stop Emma from getting in the way of turning Cora into a DO)

So Regina also has a history of being physically abusive to Emma when they were still enemies. I guess that means Swanqueen would have a terribly abusive marriage too, then, right? Or are you a double standard hypocrite? For the record, I don’t think the above is proof she undoubtedly would be. However…

Oh but wait, Regina was physically abusive to Emma AFTER her redemption:

Regina used the dagger to control Emma and LIKED that it hurt Emma. This is only significant because Regina reveled in hurting Emma with that dagger. She didn’t even apologize or care either. In fact she thought it was great that she made Emma thank her. That’s just abusive behavior. I’m sorry. When you hurt someone you love you apologize even if it’s an accident. And you sure as hell do not do it again then demand being thanked!

She used that dagger to torture Emma into revealing truths to her that Emma didn’t want to tell her. Regina might have been trying to help but she continued when an obviously hurting Emma BEGGED her to stop. Regina ultimately failed. But if Hook’s past is a reason you claim he’ll physically hurt Emma in the future then this is definitely a sign that Regina will push Emma past her breaking point if Regina wants something from her bad enough. Fair is fair, y’all!

Regina then murdered Emma’s wish parent’s in front of her Emma’s anguish didn’t even phase Regina. Again she pushed Emma past her breaking point and didn’t stop. SHE DID NOT STOP. Because Regina wanted to be the hero by any means necessary and she still failed! Emma’s pain is what brought Killian out of the darkness. Regina just kept on going!

Other abuses: Aside from all the murder, she choked a village child, abused her knights, tortured people and goodness knows what other things during her years of Tyranny. So. Yes, Regina likes to abuse people. She abused Belle after her redemption and didn’t care. She verbally abused young August (yes, she snapped under pressure but she is rude to someone at least every episode).

But do you know what Regina’s big red flag is? She forced Graham to have a relationship with her then killed him for rejecting her.

So which one is more likely to domestically abuse Emma and force her into a relationship? Hook or Regina? Regina has a history of domestic abuse so the answer would be Regina.

And for you Rumbellers out there that think Rumbelle had a beautiful marriage, lets remind you that Rumple was physically abusive to Belle:

Shook her

Threw her in a tower & locked her away

Put her in a sleeping curse

Uh oh looks like Rumbelle is going to be a highly physically abusive marriage! But wait, we already knew that. At least those of us without blinders on.

Newsflash y’all the enemies to lovers ships have a history of fighting. Shocker. But the only one to come to physical abuse AFTER redemption was SwanQueen. Therefor if you ship SwanQueen you shouldn’t be saying “CaptainSwan’s marriage is violent because of stuff that happens when they’re enemies”. And if you ship Rumbelle you should just stop talking all together.

Sexual Assault

CLAIM: Killian kissed Emma without her consent! He’s a pirate! All pirates rape! And he’s admitted to getting women drunk to rape them!

Do I have to say this again? Killian was trying to break a curse. The writers were paralleling them with Snowing. Just get over it!

And no, just because he was a pirate that doesn’t make him a canon rapist. You want to fanon him as one? That’s sick but it’s your right. But your fanon is not proof of canon.

And those words were not in that EF pub scene, that is not what that scene was about, and Emma has NO REACTION? Please just exercise some honesty and use some brain cells, I beg you!

Besides, If Hook is a sexual abuser because of the attempted true love kiss then so is David. If we follow this logic then surely he assaults Snow on a nightly basis, right? This isn’t meant to be a strawman argument… I am just trying to point out the hypocrisy. I know no one believes David does this cause it’d be far too ridiculous. So why is Hook held to a different standard? Because he is a villain or because you just hate him? Cause both kisses happened under the same circumstances and we never see Hook force a kiss on anyone outside of this very specific circumstance.

But let’s talk about Regina. Since y’all think “how to get the savior to taste my forbidden (poison) fruit” is something sexual then what does that say about your ship? Because to me it says sexual abuse is just fine as long as it’s Regina doing it. And as I said earlier she forced Graham into a relationship with her. She sexually assaulted him for 28 years then murdered him when he rejected her. What about David? Yes, her trying to seduce a cursed David is 100% attempted sexual assault. I’ve even seen people convincingly argue that she’s even touched Killian inappropriately and suggested she’d make David a sex slave when she had him in her prison.

And for you RUMBELLE stans out there: Yes, Rumple assaults Belle several times. Once when he was masquerading as Killian AFTER her rejection and ejection from her life. He uses the author to re-write her as his wife AFTER her rejection. And he kisses her without permission while she’s in the sleeping curse AFTER she’s rejected him again.

OK while we’re here let me just draw the SWANFIRE fans into this: Yeah yeah yeah Neal wouldn’t have been charged for statutory rape since 16 was the age of consent in that state but lets not pretend that a 150 yr old with a 16/17 year old isn’t cringy. His body might not have aged but he has the experience of two lifetimes worth of emotional and mental maturity. And again it’s just sick.

So I ask you… out of all these couples…which one is more likely to sexually abuse their partner? Regina and Rumple is the answer because they have CANON history of doing so. Neal is more likely to cheat on Emma with a much younger woman. Deal with it.

So lets also scratch sexual abuse off your reasons CaptainSwan is abusive cause one, its a lie and two, your favorite (Rumple, Regina or Neal) is actually the canon rapist.

Kidnapping Henry

CLAIM: “Hook attempted to kidnap her son. (To save him from Zelena, Cool motive. Still kidnapping)… I’m sure none of these things will cause problems in their marriage [sarcasm]”

So apparently Hook attempting to kidnap Henry to save him from Zelena is proof that Hook is going to abuse Emma during their marriage? Or maybe they meant Henry? Still. Say what? That does not even make even a little bit of sense. But to say this as someone who ships Regina and Emma? Are you for real? Lets review.

Regina actually physically and emotionally abused Henry.

Regina poisoned Henry (To kill Emma. Cool motive. Still did it.)

Regina mind-wiped Henry so she could kidnap him to the Enchanted Forest and leave Emma to die (she had no rights to him)

Regina used vines to restrain Henry after his rejecting her Regina gaslit Henry and made him & everyone else think he's crazy.

Regina lied & manipulated Henry to get him to hate Emma and Snow

Regina used him to get Emma to leave the jail so she could talk to a prisoner

Regina sent Emma’s son to spy on the dark one so she could rewrite her own story & screw up everyone elses

Hell, Emma kidnapped him in Season 1 to get him away from Regina’s abusive ass!

So before you use “Hook kidnapped Henry” as an excuse as to why CaptainSwan will have an abusive marriage please check your own ship first because Regina actually has a history of abusing Henry to get what she wants. At least Hook was attempting to protect him. Regina was purposefully hurting him.

Furthermore... I know you all would have been 100x more critical if Killian did nothing or if he'd chanced telling Emma. You all would say he was still endangering Henry. So, honestly, save your fake outrage.

Poor Communication Skills

CLAIM: “Hook got drunk instead of telling Emma the truth about her grandfather"

Since Hook got a little drunk one time while trying to work up the courage to tell Emma about David’s father he now has poor communication skills? That’s right folks. One time. See logical people understand that if something happens one time it’s not an indication that it is an ongoing problem. But if you hate Killian Jones it is an excuse to say that if he did it once of course he does it all the time!

Also it’s not like failing to tell someone something isn’t the oldest writing trope of all time. That couldn’t be it, could it!??? Like this is such a pathetic reach. CaptainSwan talk all the time about everything. About his part in Rumple’s past. That time he sat down with her and helped her see what her parents were going through. The fact that he’s always the one to say “I love you” first. But sure you go ahead and ignore that.

What about Regina and Emma? Regina had to use the dagger on Emma to try and get her to tell her why Emma was holding onto the darkness. All Killian had to do was ask. Regina dragged Emma to a bar to get her to open up about Killian leaving and Emma opened up to a bar tender instead! Regina refused to talk to Emma about Robin. Regina refused to listen to Emma about Henry/Pan and just walked away instead of communicating! Regina went back to Cora instead of seeking help from Emma. So far I am seeing more instances of SwanQueen not communicating!

You wanna talk about RUMBELLE’S communication or lack thereof? When did you ever hear Rumple ask Belle what she wanted? Cause he basically was just like “I’m gonna move your life around where I want it without asking”.

So again, what ship has the worse communication problems? Regina and Emma’s friendship sucks but honestly I’d give this one to Rumple since he just takes charge of Belle’s life.

Alcoholism

Hook apparently STILL has a drinking problem. Did you guys know that? I didn’t. Literally news to me! OK I’ve heard the claim before but it’s just another reach and a miss. Claims of Hook having a drinking problem are from biased people who’ve obviously never seen alcoholism. Or someone who successfully got on the wagon and stayed on it.

First off, no drunk is the same. You have angry drunks, friendly drunks, happy drunks, sleepy drunks, hyper drunks. We never see Hook as an angry drunk. So to say that he’s an angry abusive drunk is 100% fanon. We actually see him as a pretty happy, charming, drunk who’s giving Emma an out on whether or not to accompany him to his ship. So obviously not an angry or controlling drunk.

Secondly, has anyone actually counted how many times we’ve seen him drink? Because it was not every episode. NM that having one drink a day doesn’t make you an alcoholic. Getting drunk every once in a while does not make you an alcoholic. If it did then I guess I’d better get myself to AA.

Thirdly, we only see him as a falling down drunk on a few occasions. We know he was a drunk while on a slaver ship. And if you're going to hold that against him then I know you're a biased hypocrite who only cares about your fanon version of Regina's childhood and refuses to think about the fact that Killian was sold as a child slave. Liam pulled him out of that life and he was a good sailor in the navy (until the king double crossed them). The next time we see him as a falling down drunk was the season 3 finale when Emma was plying him with alcohol to keep him distracted. He was inebriated when he proposed but he was neither stumbling nor slurring his words.

So my point is: We never see present day Killian Jones drunk when he is needed or shirking his duties because of it. Alcoholism destroys jobs, relationships and your ability to function in life on a weekly if not daily basis. When did Killian do any of that? Again. Having a couple of drinks does not make you an alcoholic.

Furthermore, Hook is over 300 years old. If he STILL had an alcohol problem he’d have succumbed to it by now. But he obviously overcame that addiction since leaving the slave ship. There is nothing in canon about present day Killian Jones to suggest he'd fall back into alcoholism since he has something to live for and isn't being abused on a slave ship.

Just admit you all look for ways to hate on the ship instead of being honest.

Being rude to Emma’s mother and Henry

CLAIM: "Hook was rude to Snow & made a remark about needing a shower. He also snapped at Henry."

So let me get this straight. One joke about taking a cold shower means Killian will be so rude to Snow in the future that it will affect his marriage to Emma? Where is the pattern? It happening one time (I never took this as being rude but hey you’re welcome to the opinion) doesn’t indicate a problem. None of us ever behave perfectly. But apparently Killian Jones has to or else y'all go into hysterics!

I think it’s rather unfair to take one instance, blow it out of proportion, and use it to say CaptainSwan is abusive or will have an abusive marriage. If you don’t think it’s funny, that’s fine. Just acknowledge your bias and move on.

And the thing about Hook snapping at Henry? Again. ONE TIME. And it was under stressful circumstances. It’s not like the frustration was coming out of nowhere. The lives of people he cared about were in danger. And if you know anything about Hook, he hates just sitting still. I mean watch how antsy he was waiting on Merlin to find a way to help Emma. His reaction was 100% wrong. But it was also human.

Do you all know how often Regina puts Snow down? Are you all aware of it? I know you guys like to call it “sass” but clutching your pearls over one joke makes y’all look like hypocrites. I can let one thing slide but you know something is wrong when there is a pattern and Regina has a consistent pattern. She does it all the time. And it’s not even just to Snow! She is rude to Emma’s friends as well and the man Emma is dating. I don’t care if you hate the person your BFF is dating. You don’t put them down. It’s not going to do anyone any good except to hurt the person you profess to care about. And that’s not being a very good friend is it? No.

So I ask you again. Who is more likely to consistently insult Emma’s loved ones in the future? Regina. She has the pattern and the history of doing so. Therefor, strike this off your reasons to hate on CaptainSwan because your queen is just as guilty!

P.S. Rumbellers - don't think you're off the hook here. Be for real. Rumple doesn't value anyone's life except his own (and therefor Belle's because he wants her).

Shifts Blame

CLAIM: “Hook shifts blame from himself to Emma and blames her for not being able to tell her about David’s father”

“I swear to you… I wanted to tell you. I tried. But then you found that ring, and I just couldn't bear to ruin that happiness. Because I was ashamed, Emma, and scared of losing you and everything that matters to me.”

I never took Killian’s line here as him shifting blame. He was not accusing her. His tone was not accusatory. He was explaining to her why he couldn’t bring himself to ruin her happiness. He also goes onto explain how ashamed he was. All of that played a part in him making the wrong decision.

If you want to see this as him shifting blame. Ok. That’s you're right. HOWEVER. Again. To say that this one moment of weakness defines their entire relationship is completely dishonest especially since he totally recognizes his fault and says so the moment he reunites with her. And this is literally the only instance you can find of Killian (possibly) shifting blame.

I also think it’s very disingenuous seeing that he could have continued to blame Emma for everything he did as Dark Hook since she went against his wishes. But he didn’t. He took responsibility for his weakness. So this thing over David’s father is not a normal every day behavior. Y’all act like he’s gonna yell at her about dirty dishes he left in the sink and it’s just absurd. Killian was sincere when he tells her "I could never be angry with you" and he's pretty much lived up to that since his redemption.

Furthermore, have you never been so embarrassed by something you did that you tried to get away from it? What Killian Jones did was a very human reaction to immense guilt.

And then you have Regina Mills. She is the queen of shifting blame and she’s done it more than once. Tried to blame Henry being in the mine on Emma when it was really her fault. The entire Marian arc was about blaming Emma for her own mess. Regina blamed Emma for the wraith chasing Robin Hood. Blames Emma for having to kill Wish Snowing. She NEVER apologizes for any of that. The author only records what happens (only one canon instance where the author abused his powers to manipulate a story and that was Snowing) yet Regina blames the book for the choices she made. Regina blamed Snow for making her the evil queen when Regina chose to do what she did of her own free will. She blames Rumple as well and while Rumple might have handed her the key she chose to take it and open up the door to dark magic. She sought Rumple out. She chose to go down that path. But everyone else gets blamed besides Regina. Cora gets blamed even though she was long gone when Regina sought Rumple out because she admitted to LIKING the dark magic. Hell, for a good portion of S6 they all acted like the evil queen was a separate entity!

Co-dependence

CLAIM: “Killian made Emma co-dependent as she was willing to let her parents die and her brother become an orphan“

WHEN WAS THIS? I don’t think it is S5 otherwise they’d mention Henry. If they are talking about S6 that was Regina… like when I say they project, they project! Emma tried to stop serumQueen. You know who could have easily stopped the serumQueen? Regina. By using her own heart. But she only did that to save Zelena. Regina also could have sacrificed herself to save the very people that are responsible for the 999 chances she's gotten and whose lives she destroyed.

So laying this on Emma is just an outrageous reach especially calling it co-dependent when just last season Emma set out to kill Dark Hook and then made the decision to leave Killian in the Underworld and return to Storybrooke.

You want to talk about co-dependence?

Regina was so damn dependent on Robin and getting her happy ending that she shut Henry out of his occasional home so she could mope. She was so damn dependent on Robin for happiness that she thought about destroying Emma’s happiness with Hook. Regina was so dependent on Robin that she abandoned Emma and their ride BACK TO HENRY to chase Wish Robin after she just got done reassuring Emma that Wish People weren’t real! Kindly STFU.

You want to talk about co-dependence?

Rumple refuses to let Belle go.

Badly treated: manipulation, lies, insults, etc

The only times Killian has ever treated Emma like “trash” is when he was a villain (and she gave it right back to him) and when he was literally cursed by darkness. And no, my little Regina apologists, his Dark One Hook persona is not who he REALLY is. Who he REALLY is, is the man we saw right before being consumed and after. The man who always put Emma first, encouraged her, supported her and believed in her. If you follow canon, it is quite clear that being consumed by darkness changes you and not only that the darkness was pushing for him to hate Emma so that they could separate them and use Killian to get what they wanted.

What really irks me is that if everything Killian said to Emma while a villain or consumed by darkness is reason that redeemed Killian would abuse Emma later in marriage then newsflash hypocrites Regina would do 10x worse. Because even after her supposed redemption Regina insulted Emma and ridiculed nearly ever plan or idea she came up with. Yet it is OK to ship Emma with Regina? So let’s review.

Regina treating Emma like garbage, lying, manipulating, insulting her etc etc BEFORE her redemption:

Regina: I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do.

Regina: …How grateful I am to have Henry. Because not having someone? Well, that’s the worst curse imaginable. (Praying on Emma’s vulnerability)

Blaming Emma for Henry being the mine when it's Regina's fault

Regina: Well, of course not. Because you’re incapable of feeling anything for anyone. There’s a reason you’re alone, isn’t there? (again praying on Emma's vulnerability & shifting blame for emma's life)

Fires Emma from her job. Says she doesn’t deserve the badge.

Regina: Well, I think you picked a really slow horse this time. It’s not like you to back a loser.

That time she published Emma’s jail record; Regina: Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t want people to know you cut his cord with a shiv?

Snaps at Emma for saving her in a fire

Regina Mills spent the first season trying to turn Henry against Emma

Would have let Emma die but only saved her and Snow in the end because of Henry (s2)

Regina: Because you know so much about parenting in the five minutes you’ve been with him. Talk to David. At least he took care of him while you were away. Like I did, during the ten years you were away the first time. (anti-birth parent rhetoric, victim blaming & diminishing the child abuse she put Henry through)

Regina: Miss Swan. I assume you’re here to apologize. - where the eff is her apology for everything?

Regina: He's not yours. He's mine. And after I cast this, you'll never see him again.

Regina called her an idiot

Dismissing Emma about fearing for Henry in NL (S3)

So surely if all of Killian’s words against Emma before his redemption & during being consumed by darkness is a sign he’d continue long into their marriage then Regina’s insults and ill treatment are a sign she’d do the same? Right?

Oh but wait, Regina’s ill treatment of Emma AFTER her redemption:

Dismissing Emma’s struggle as Dark Swan & acting like she knows more about what’s it like to be consumed by evil when she has never been consumed (5x23)

Acting like she’s the only one to ever lose love (S5, Robin stabbing)

Never once thinking of Emma when Hook died - all she could do is belittle Emma over trying to save him because it effected her yet she did the same thing with Robin & even Daniel! 

Wanted her HEA at the expense of others & endangered Henry to get it & also ignored the danger Emma was in to find it (s4 over rewriting the book)

Saying she was Henry’s best chance during the Shattered Sight curse (s4) and that wasn't true

Ignoring Emma’s concerns about Henry and falsely accusing Emma of being jealous (Pan-S3)

Making Emma feel bad about Henry’s tear all because she is jealous she doesn’t know Henry as well as Emma & ignoring how much she hurt Henry (S5 finale)

Regina called Emma a problem (5x01)

Regina stole Emma’s agency because she didn’t trust her to make the right choice whereas Killian insisted it had to be her choice without forcing her.

Regina believed the worse; that Emma would destroy light magic.

Regina blamed Emma right away for the demon. She never apologized (5x02).

THE ENTIRE MARIAN ARC. Regina had Emma doubting in herself when in fact everything that was happening was Regina’s fault.

Calls Emma an idiot again

Regina claims Emma ruined her life

Regina often doubted Emma’s abilities & thought she was more capable and Regina refused to follow her leadership (S3 over the map, S3 over Zelena, S3 over finding Neal who could read the star map, S6 in mirror mirror)

She often used anti-birth mother rhetoric (accusing Emma of being jealous in 3x10, being safer with her in shattered sight curse, S5 finale over Henry & Violet’s favorite song & the sEQ calling herself his real mother).

Swanfire really needs to shut up about this too. Emma and Neal weren’t enemies so their list isn’t as dramatic as SwanQueen and CaptainSwan but it doesn’t mean it isn't bad! And it is bad considering the fact that Neal abandoned her, laughed about her powers, yelled at her for not telling him about Henry AFTER he was the one to walk away from her, let her take the fall for his crimes and then only tried to get her back when it was convenient for HIM.

Rumbellers also have no room to criticize Killian’s past and use it as a way to disparage CaptainSwan because their ship is full of horrible things. Adultery. Liking Belle to an object to have (makes statements that he can have Belle and his power). Lied to her about the dagger then married her anyway. Thinks Belle is ignorant and wants to keep her that way. Literally shackled her with that bracelet to control her.

OutlawQueen can take a seat too. The fact that they committed adultery next to his dying wife's frozen body makes that ship absolutely disgusting. And yes, it counts because they believed her to be his wife. Intent matters. And the fact that Regina never told him the truth or how she wanted to make sure his son never had a mother so she could have Robin. AWFUL.

Hook jumped off a roof just to get Emma to talk to him

Come talk to me when he does this cause she’s on a date with someone else, just sitting around talking to her friends or family or you know otherwise busy and when they aren’t in the middle of a major crisis where everyone could die.

Hook is the Professor of Moodiness 101

Seriously. Wtf is this? They didn’t have enough bullet points I guess? Have they met Regina Mills? Cause Regina is constantly snapping at everyone. I know you all like to laugh and say “she’s just sassy” but that doesn’t make her comments or the tone she says them in any less rude. And no one laughs but you all. And yes, she does this a lot in frustrating moments but it’s all the time compared to Killian’s …what? Two?

Whether you all like it or not Killian Jones's attitude is dramatically different after the S3 winter finale onward. And he improves even more after the s4 winter finale. By the time we get to the last half of Season 5 we are looking at a much more mature Killian Jones being the man he was always meant to be.

But Regina? Regina never loses her attitude. She may have stopped killing. She may have joined team hero to get her happy ending. But she is still rude and extremely self-centered.

Trying to murder friends and loved ones

CLAIM: Family and friends are possessions but Emma’s loved ones are threatened by Killian?? Tried to maliciously kill Emma’s family and friends

I love how they threw “maliciously” in there like there is any other way to try to kill someone? Gotta make it sound more sinister, I guess? Ok Regina Apologist! Whatever floats your boat!

I think this refers to Killian being consumed by darkness which he only did because he was indeed consumed by darkness. So if this is why Killian will abuse Emma in the future then surely Regina’s lifelong goal of killing Emma and the Charmings is also cause to say that she too would abuse Emma in the future? Otherwise I missed all of the plotting he did before and after? He doesn’t have cause to try and kill Emma’s friends or family. He never did. So the only way this would occur is if he’s cursed again.

Regina has reasons to though! Out of jealousy and her want to have Henry to herself! So yes, my little Regina apologist. Regina is more likely to snap later on and decide she’s sick of watching everyone else be happy and create another curse. Just look at how much she wanted to steal Emma’s happiness when she lost Robin? That is after her “redemption” too.

And for you Rumbellers out there, Rumple tried in S4, 5, 6 and 7 to isolate Belle from everyone by killing them off or harming them in some way. And when he finally managed to get her alone, she rapidly aged and died. So really you all have no room to talk about any other ship.

Regina also tried to murder Robin's wife. So OutlawQueen can also scratch this one out. I mean the only reason they're together is because Regina murdered his wife.

CONCLUSION: Regina is more likely to abuse her future partner & Rumbelle is the poster ship for domestic abuse

So heads up OutlawQueen, SwanFire, SwanQueen, Rumbellers or pretty much any ship outside of Snowing... do not come at my ship for things that have nothing to do with the present day relationship when I have plenty of "present time" receipts to make your ship look 10x worse.

CaptainSwan fans ship Emma Swan with the Killian Jones who was the only one to ever put her first, let her make every decision moving forward in their relationship and was the only one to always believe in her.

[lavenderbang]

Felix And Your Tavern; Chapter 2

A/N: Okay so I’m back by popular demand because I LOVE LEE FELIX AND SO DO YALL!!! Anyways, doing this part in bullet points too, so sorry if you were expecting me to make an actual well written fic cause this is not it. As usual, forgive any spelling errors, I ALWAYS miss some on my proof reading cause my word vomit is insane. Anyways, enjoy!

Part I Part II

Warning(s): alcohol, swearing, also some talk about death, but that’s about it. Reader has the title of wife.

HES SO !!!

It was late autumn when you brought the idea up to Felix about getting a bar-hand for the Tavern.

With the weather getting colder, people were more likely to want a hot meal with their drink, which meant that Felix was getting a bit too busy managing both the kitchen and the bar by himself.

And with you serving the tables, keeping track of all the payments, and dealing with the inn residency, you were too busy to pick up his slack.

Felix knew this.

it made logical sense

but it made him anxious to no end...

“My Love, I understand. But we can’t trust anyone.” He said with a frown. You nodded along, wiping the bartop with a rag. When you looked up at your husband, you mirrored his frown.

“I know. That’s why we don’t tell them anything.” You countered, tossing your rag in the sink. You then went around to the tables and began removing the chairs from the top of them, tucking them in their rightful spot underneath.

You were to open for the evening soon, so Felix began to help you prepare by taking chairs off the tables and putting them in their places as well.

“They won’t need to know anything besides we own a tavern and an inn, and that we need their help.” You hummed, dusting off your hands on your thighs and returning to the bar, where Felix was removing the final stool.

You looped your arms around his waist and pulled him closer to you. He gazed into your eyes and you swore you still got butterflies when he stared.

“We need the help, Dear.” You whispered, focusing more on the beating of your lover’s heart than the actual conversation

and with the way Felix was gazing at your lips, it seems like he wasn’t too focused on the conversation anymore either.

“I know we do.” He sighed in defeat, before letting his heart take over and place a kiss on your lips.

When you parted, you smiled at him

You’ll never get used to the feeling of kissing Felix

it always gave you this light, airy feeling in your chest.

Pushing off him, you went back to work, not before placing one last peck on his cheek.

“I’ll post a notice by the door.” You hummed, taking the clean cups from where you left them to dry and hang them on the wine track above the bar

That night, you got a few inquiries about the job, but nobody who seemed truly interested.

But your saving grace came through the door well into the evening.

Hwang Hyunjin.

He was an occasional visitor at your little tavern, opting to come once or twice a week to have a drink and then go off to wherever he went

you honestly didn’t know what he did at night after his visit at the bar.

nor did you think it was you place to ask

none of your business, you supposed

but he always ordered the same thing; red wine and some fresh bread.

all you knew about him was he was a hunter.

Well, you assumed he was a hunter

He would tell stories of being out in the wild woods, how beautiful the world looked from under the green canopies with nothing but the grass under your feet, wind against your skin and the moon in the sky

You liked Hyunjin.

He was always very kind to you and Felix while being at the bar

as well as respected other patrons

not to mention, he never asked questions about your personal life

he only ever asked about what your plans for the future were and stories from the days he didn’t come in

Felix liked Hyunjin too.

He made sure to compliment Felix’s cooking and always left a bit of a tip ‘for excellent company and even more excellent food’

Hyunjin was a good guy in Felix’s mind, no matter what the other patrons said.

some thought he was odd because he preferred to be alone and was very private, but that never really bothered Felix

Hyunjin was nice to him and you

always was.

“Why hello stranger!” You joked, serving the man at his usual table near the back of the tavern

it was closest to the area you had musicians come perform.

Hyunjin always enjoyed the music when he came in

“The usual I presume?” You asked, to which Hyunjin nodded, with a smile.

You returned quickly with his usual order, setting the glass of wine down carefully

Felix liked to fill it to the brim when it was for Hyunjin

“What’s new?” Hyunjin asked, taking a sip from his full glass. You tucked the serving tray you had under your arm before shifting your weight more comfortably on your feet. 

“Nothing much. Winter is coming soon, so we’ll have to start preparing the inn for that.” You hummed, letting a humorous grin play on your features as an image popped into you head, “I’ll have to get Felix to start chopping fire wood.”

“I think that is much more of a job for you, not him” Hyunjin laughed, taking a bite of the warm bread you had brought him, “I don’t quite peg Felix as a manual labor kind of guy...”

“You’d be surprised!” You said with a grin, “I’ll have you know, Felix worked as a farmhand for half a year to support us.”

“Now that I don’t believe!” Hyunjin chuckled, taking one more sip from his drink, “Felix is so skilled with domestic things like cooking and keeping clean, I would have never guessed.”

“I guess Felix is good at a lot of things.” You said simply, brushing a stray hair away from your face.

“Speaking of jobs, I see you’re hiring?” Hyunjin asked, nodding his head towards the door where your little parchment was hanging.

“We are.” You turned to look at the posting before smiling back at Hyunjin, “know anyone who would be interested?”

Hyunjin hummed, swirling his drink in his glass a few times before downing the remaining alcohol.

“I’d be interested.” He said, seriousness evident in his demeanor, 

“that is, if you would want me?”

You perked up at the offer.

Hyunjin seemed like a good fit for the job

He was charismatic and seemed to be able to think and act quickly

not to mention both you and Felix already got along well with him and he knew the Tavern well from his visits.

“I’ll have to speak with Felix, but I think you’d be a fine fit for the position. Can you maybe come in tomorrow at noon?”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Great! Me and Felix will talk tonight and ask you some questions tomorrow, but truthfully, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be a perfect addition to our operation here.”

Hyunjin smiled with a nod, before standing and bidding you a farewell. He placed the coins he owed on the table before leaving, weaving gracefully between the tables and other patrons

Felix agreed before you even needed to explain your thoughts

If you had to get a bar-hand, Hyunjin was your best bet.

And Hyunjin enjoyed his work at your tavern

It always had felt like a second home to him

well, besides the woods of course.

He felt welcomed by you and Felix!

so spending every evening there was nice, especially now that it was getting cold outside

and he always needed to make more money so he’d be able to live.

And yes, Hyunjin made sure to never ask about your personal lives

because it was truly none of his business to ask you beyond what you were willing to share

However, he wasn’t stupid.

He wasn’t exactly sure about your past with Felix, but he tended to notice things when he would come in.

How you avoided talking about where you and Felix came from before landing in here in Miroh

or why you didn’t have any family or other friends.

or even where you got the long, silver bow that hung behind the bar.

You were good people, who never gave Hyunjin any reason to question that.

So he thought it best to just keep quiet

Working at the Tavern went much more smoothly after Hyunjin joined in

Felix mostly stayed in the kitchen now, but he also helped take a bit of the load off you too by dealing with the inn residences

and Hyunjin worked the bar well, never forgetting to serve the counter as he prepared your orders from the tables with an equal amount of quality and haste.

for months, this system worked well!

even when the dead of winter rolled around and the inn and tavern were at its all time peak in patrons due to the cold weather.

It was another night like this where the bar was packed and many people were sat and stood around the tables

You had a man singing today, his voice beautifully ringing throughout the tavern for all to hear.

You reminded Felix to make a plate up for him for when he was done his performance.

(You think he was named Seungmin? Rumor had it he was once a court musician for the Duchess of the Central Valley before he was dismissed)

You were slipping through the people, trying your best not to bump into anyone or knock your tray over when you felt it.

sharp eyes burning through you.

You made a quick glance around the room when your eyes met with a man in the corner of the room.

He was accompanied by two more men, all of which seemed to be skilled adventurers.

You kept your composure under the man’s scrutinous gaze, however you couldn’t help the sick feeling in your stomach.

You looked away, turning and standing at the bar. You placed your tray down for Hyunjin to put your order on it.

“Jin,” You called, earning a hum form the man behind the bar, “That group in the back. Who are they?”

Hyunjin let his eyes float to the table you were referencing before slightly frowning at you.

“Travelers. I’ve only heard passing whispers about them, but they are known around these parts as 3racha.” 

“And?”

“All I know about them is that they often take many quests and wander the lands slaying monsters.”

“Hmm. Thank you.” 

You took a deep breath, trying to shake the nerves you felt from being so close to adventurers.

 it was the first time you’d ever encountered bounty hunters, and it scared you shitless.

Approaching their table, you put on the brightest smile you could as your eyes locked onto the one who wouldn’t stop staring

A stoic looking fellow with a fur cloak draped across his broad frame. 

to his left, a shorter, stronger man holding a large claymore and a nasty look.

and his right was a pretty, squirrelly man that you could feel had this aura of magic surrounding him

You could tell they were strong just from the atmosphere they created around them

“Hello gentlemen, what can I do for you this evening?” You said, tone even.

You weren’t even sure if they were here for you, but you felt defensive nonetheless

The man with the cloak hummed, eyes not breaking contact with yours

“We hear you are famous for your baked goods.” He spoke confidently, voice coming out with an accent, “What would you suggest?”

“My husband spent all morning baking cranberry tarts.” You said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear as you smiled softly, “I would recommend that. We also have a fine selection of beverages if you feel so inclined.”

“Your husband?” The Big man asked, digging the tip of his claymore into the wood of the floor, before he looked up at you, “You mean the man behind the bar?”

“No, that is our bar-hand.” You answered simply, before quipping back, “Why do you ask? Perhaps you have an interest in him? I can introduce you, if you’d like.”

Pretty man let out a chuckle at your joke, before trying to cover it with a cough. Big man’s face heated up in what you could only assume was embarrassment or irritation, before your attention was directed back to the man in the cloak.

You blinked innocently at him, holding your tray limply at your side.

You felt like you were on trial as he stared at you. The tension seemed thick before he cleared his throat and grinned.

It made you feel even more unsettled...

“Tarts sound wonderful. We’ll take three.” He spoke politely, to which you nodded and retreated behind the bar into the kitchen for the pastries.

Felix was working there, washing dishes and humming a tune to himself with a small smile on his face.

It made you happy to see him so carefree.

You came up behind him, wrapping your arms around your husband’s torso.

You could feel the beating of your heart in your throat, and for once it wasn’t from Felix...

“Hey Love.” He cheered, turning his head to be able to place a chaste kiss on your lips, “Busy night, huh?”

“Very.” You chuckled breathlessly, trying not to let the sickness pooling in your stomach read on your face.

You didn’t want to worry Felix with the trouble of 3racha

As much as you loved Felix’s emotional side, it was sometimes a curse.

one that you didn’t need right now when you were barely holding on yourself.

besides, you weren’t even sure if it was trouble yet.

it could be just a feeling of unease and paranoia getting the better of you...

“I’m here for the tarts, A table just ordered some.” You said as nonchalantly as possible.

Felix beamed, eyes lighting up upon hearing that someone wanted to eat his baking.

as if it wasn’t a normal occurrence for people to ask specifically for Felix’s food

“Ask them how it tastes.” He said excitedly, drying his hands on the towel near the sink before helping placing some on a plate and hand them to you, “I tried a new recipe and I need to know if its good.”

“Will do, Dear.” You said with a smile. You eyes fell upon Felix and you felt your chest heave with anxiety and your heart squeeze with worry.

Before you could even think about it, you set the tray down on the counter and wrapped your arms tightly around your husband

Even though he was confused on why you hugged him unprompted, he didn’t hesitate to hug you back, holding you close to him.

you stayed like that for a moment, taking in his scent before sighing.

“I love you so much, you know.” You whispered dreamily, causing Felix to squeeze your body tighter.

“I love you too.” He replied, and you could hear the grin in his voice, making you grin too. When you finally let him go, you placed one more kiss on his soft lips, letting it fuel you enough to go back out there and face whatever was in store for you.

And when you did return to the table, placing the tarts on the wooden surface gently, you willed yourself to be calm and to appear as cheerful as possible

even if your instincts were screaming.

“Thank you, Darling.” The man in the cloak said with a smile. The name sounded like poison coming from his lips and you resisted the urge to grimace.

“Is that all for you, gentlemen?” You asked sweetly, hoping to be done with this interaction and get back to work.

You were sure this feeling was just paranoia and you were overreacting

yes, this must all be a misunderstanding and-

“Actually I have a few questions for you, if you don’t mind.” The man with the cloak answered seriously; Big man and Pretty man were much to busy eating to even speak, which would have been kinda endearing if you weren’t sick to your stomach.

“What can I help you with?” You asked, cringing at the fact that your tone came out a bit more shaky than intended

“I’ll be straight with you, we are adventurers. And we have come to these lands on a quest.”

“ah, I see...”

“Looking for the kidnapped prince from Clé. I’m sure you’ve heard of him by now?”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you nodded along to the man’s words. You felt a burning in your throat and you could barely trust yourself to be able to speak.

“Rumor has it, he is being hid away somewhere in this area.” The man in the cloak watched you intently, a wicked grin adorning his features, “You wouldn’t happen to know about that, would you?”

His associates stopped eating for a moment, gazing up at you.

You felt like you were suffocating in this moment.

Like you were drowning, everything around you slowed and you took a breath, hopefully to steady yourself enough before replying.

“I don’t, sorry.” You said weakly, feeling like a mouse caught in a trap.

“Now, we all know that’s not true, (Y/N).” The cloaked man said bluntly, leaning his elbows on the table and tilting his head slightly.

You stared back at him helplessly, feeling like you were an inch tall under the man’s gaze. 

He knew you.

He knew your name.

It was like someone pumped your body with lead as you stood staring at the man.

“Y’know, these tarts are very good. I’d love to tell your husband myself how good they are.” The Pretty man hummed, batting his eyelashes at you tauntingly, “What did you say his name was?”

“Felix. His name is Felix.” You said firmly, willing all the strength you have in your body to standing upright.

“How much would you bet that your husband bares a resemblance to Prince Yongbok, hm?” The Big man asked, before pulling out a parchment with a portrait on it. You glanced down and immediately recognized it as Felix on the painting of the royal family that was in the dinning room of the castle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband isn’t the prince.” You said weakly, clearing your throat, earning a grimace from the cloaked man in front of you.

“If there is one thing I hate more than kidnappers,” He growled, gaze cold, “It’s kidnappers who lie.”

You could see out of your peripheral Big man grip his claymore as if he was ready to draw it on you.

You didn’t want to start a fight in the tavern while it was full and busy

but you were damn sure not going to let these men ruin everything you and Felix built.

so you did the only thing you could in the moment.

“I don’t lie.” You explained stiffly, narrowing your eyes at the men, “If anything, whatever you’ve heard about that situation is the lie.”

You were hoping to buy yourself some time to think of a way to defuse the situation

perhaps even lead the men outside for a confrontation instead?

That didn’t seem like an option when the man in the cloak chuckled, clearly irritated by your words. He moved his cloak out of the way to reveal the shiny steel of a sword hilt.

but before he could say another word, you felt a warm hand wrap around your shoulder.

Hyunjin.

Your beam of light in the darkness.

“Hey fellas, what seems to be the problem here?” He spoke smoothly, expression light as he held you firmly.

“Nothing.” The cloaked man said, before smiling at Hyunjin. He readjusted his cloak to cover his sword back up, “Just enjoying these lovely cranberry tarts and wanting to tell the chef.”

“Oh, he’s very busy tonight,” Hyunjin chuckled, gesturing around the room before landing his eyes back on the three men at the table, “My dear master here will be sure to tell the chef you enjoyed them though, don’t worry!”

“Splendid.” The man with the cloak said, features bright as his gaze still bore into you face.

You couldn’t help the uneasiness you felt, but with Hyunjin there you knew it wold be okay for now.

“Is that all? My master has many patrons to attend to.” Hyunjin asked with ease. You were almost in awe at how he seemed so unshaken and was so easily able to release all the tension in the air.

“erm.... well...” The man in the cloak mumbled before Pretty man’s face lit up.

“Indeed!” He cheered, glancing between you and Hyunjin, “We require a room to stay in.”

“Excellent.” Hyunjin hummed with a bow, before gesturing to you, “my master will go prepare your key and room for you, if you’ll wait here.”

He quickly sent you away, not without a look of worry that you dismissed with a nod and a weak smile.

You hoped that your expression conveyed how grateful you were to Hyunjin

Because the moment you got to the back to grab a key, you took a sigh of relief.

You were okay for now, but you knew this was just prolonging the inevitable.

so when you closed up for the night and laid down in your room to sleep, you didn’t forget to put the long, silver dagger you owned between your mattress and the frame; hilt out for quick access.

And while Felix failed to notice this, he didn’t fail to notice how on edge you were.

He stripped from his work pants, eyeing you anxiously fiddling with the sheets below you and staring off into space.

“What has you so troubled, My Love?” Felix asked softly, folding his work clothes and placing them on a chair across the room.

“Hm?” You looked up at Felix’s broad back before he turned to face you, eyes soft and face gentle, “Nothing.”

Felix hummed disapprovingly, walking to where you sat on the bed and knelt in front of you.

He laced his hands with yours, studying your face before placing a kiss to your knuckles.

“You can tell me anything, you know?” Felix said

“I know.”

“Then tell me, what is on your mind?”

“I guess it’s just...” You start. You look into Felix’s eyes and feel a sense of warmth.

He always brought you comfort, his empathetic nature was one of the best parts about how in touch with his feelings he was; you always loved that about him.

“I love you so much, it’s painful sometimes.” You begin again, taking a deep breath and bringing Felix’s hand to your cheek. He reacts immediately, cupping your face gently and smoothing his thumb over your cheekbone, face full of worry.

“I’m so happy with you and we’ve worked so hard, I worry sometimes how easily it can all be taken away. How you can be taken away.” You explained, feeling the stress finally spill over as you release a few tears, “Life has no meaning without you. I just get scared sometimes it’s all going to disappear.”

Felix stands before finding his place beside you on the bed, coming so close you can feel his breath across your face.

his heart felt like it was going to explode at your words.

of course he’s had anxieties and worries too

but he’s able to get through it because you’re always there

you’re his stable rock telling him it’s okay and as long you are together, everything will be fine

so he needs to be that for you now.

“Come here, lay with me.” He suggests, pulling you down so you lay in his grasp.

he is warm under you, like the midday sun.

You can count the freckles on his beautiful faces from this distance, like stars painted on an angel.

“I know it’s scary,” Felix begins. His deep voice is resonating in his chest against your head as he smooths his hands up and down your shoulders and back soothingly, 

“I love you more than words can describe, (Y/N). And I promise you, as long as I’m still living, I will do everything in my power to be with you. I’ll keep you safe and happy, until my dying breath.”

“I love you.” You confessed again in a hushed tone, nuzzling your face into his neck. Felix grinned to himself, feeling giddy as if it was the first time he’d heard you say those three magic words.

“I love you too.” He repeated, squeezing you slightly.

You laid with Felix in the dark for what seemed like and eternity, with Felix lazily stroking your back and placing soft pecks on your head before he allowed himself to slip into the sweet release of sleep.

But not you.

You stayed awake, listing to the evenness of Felix’s breathing as you relished in his hold.

it felt like the last time you’d feel it.

It was well into the twilight when he came; the man in the cloak.

He moved quietly, only the sound of his feet padding against the wooden floorboards could be heard as he entered the room

he was illuminated by the light of a single lantern, just bright enough to see your sleeping figure.

carefully, he drew his sword and placed the tip at your throat, ready to strike you where you laid.

but he hesitated when he saw Felix grasping onto you so tenderly

why would he..?

“I expected you to come.” you whispered, your bleary eyes reflecting the light of the flame. It shook the man to his core how calm you seemed

“Yet you still housed me and my party...” He said, voice low and deep. you shifted ever so slightly as not to wake Felix or be stabbed through the neck

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t run you through.” He asked firmly, eyes cold and sharp as he stared down at your tired face.

But you had prepared.

You gracefully swing your arm up so the tip of your dagger laid at his chest. You expression showed no fear, much unlike the man’s, although he did his best to stay composed.

“You want to kill me? do it.” You said simply, pushing the blade closer to the man, “But be prepared to pay with your life.”

Just then, Felix shifted slightly and you freeze.

You would hate to wake him, even now when your life was potentially moments from ending.

The man froze in place too as Felix pulled you closer to him and took a deep breath, seemingly at ease by your presence. 

This made no sense...

you sighed, removing the dagger from the man’s chest only slightly.

“Listen, if you’re going to kill me, please not here. I don’t want to wake him.” You begged quietly, eyes softening at the man in front of you.

He was still for a moment before nodding solemnly at you. He backed away enough for you to wriggle out of Felix’s grasp.

However, your movement caused your husband to stir.

“mhhmmm... where are you going, My Love?” He slurred, eyes closed and body still heavy on the bed, but clear concern in his voice.

This behavior confused the man even more as he watched you give Felix’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You lied with an endearing grin, petting his hair lovingly. The prince hummed before rolling over, facing the far wall and falling back to sleep.

You turned to the man and nodded towards the door, where you both exited. 

Placing your dagger and his lantern on the bar, you pulled out two glasses from their places on the drying rack.

“What are you doing?” He asked, voice laced with an uncertainty.

“Well,” You began, grabbing a bottle of wine from behind the bar and uncorking it, “If you’re going to kill me, I’d much prefer to have a drink first, wouldn’t you? It’s on the house.”

The man stared at you for a moment before pulling a stool down and sitting at the bar, sword laying in his lap.

You silently poured the wine into the two glasses, sliding one across the bar to him.

You take a drink from your glass, feeling a sense of dread deep down in your stomach

but it was smothered but this horrifying numb feeling of the inevitability of this situation.

“Can I ask you something?” The man asked after what seemed like an eternity.

“shoot.”

“Why did you do it? Why did you kidnap the prince?”

“I told you, that’s a lie.” You swirled your drink around in your glass before taking another sip of it.

It tasted bitter as it washed down your throat, but you weren’t sure if it was truly from the alcohol or because of what this man was accusing you of.

“Then what is the truth?” The man mumbled, eyes down as he circled the rim of his glass. His lips were drawn into a thin line as you smiled weakly at his request.

“The truth is, we were in love. We are in love.” You hummed, leaning your elbows on the bartop before continuing.

“Its funny, it was actually his idea to leave, you know.”

“What happened?”

“Oh gosh, where do I even begin?”

And you told the man everything; how you began working in the castle as his courtier, how you fell in love, how he got the name Felix, the engagement, the ball, buying the tavern.

Everything.

When you finished, you downed the remainder of your drink and put the glass in the sink calmly.

The man said nothing all throughout your story, and even now he stayed silent. He stared down at the bartop, conflict running in his mind.

“You expect me to believe that?” He finally said, looking up at you. His expression was softer now, almost apologetic.

“Believe what you want.” You said with a shrug, grabbing the hilt of your dagger and holding it at your side, “But you better believe you’ll have to kill me before you are able to lay a hand on Felix. And even if you do kill me, because you know I won’t go down without a fight, good luck bringing Felix back to that wretched place in one piece. He would rather die than go back there and live as the prince.”

The man sat in silence for a moment, trying to read you; see if you have spoke any untruths.

But he couldn’t seem to find any in your tired eyes.

“You know,” The man sighed, grabbing his sword by the hilt, “I pride myself on being a man of honor. One who has a good morality and always does what’s right, no matter the consequences.”

He sheathed his sword and held his hand out for you to shake.

“I want to believe you. Based on everything you’ve said, this place, even how the pri-.... Felix was behaving, I trust you.”

You shake the man’s hand, letting out a deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“Thank you.” You whispered, feeling like you were going to cry from all the tension you had stored up for the past 12 hours.

“I’ll be sure to explain to my colleagues the situation. I’m sure they’ll understand your predicament. Especially Jisung.” 

You nodded, but your confusion on who that was must have read on your face because the man in front of you chuckled tiredly.

“I forgot, you don’t even know our names...” The man hummed, before grinning at you, “The name’s Chan.”

“Nice to meet you, now that you aren’t pointing a blade at my face.” You snickered, feeling relieved at the newfound ally-ship of Chan.

“I wont keep you up any longer, (Y/N).” Chan said, bowing at you. You bowed back at him, turning to retreat back to your room

back into your husbands grasp.

But you remembered something.

“Oh, one last thing!” You called back to Chan, who was already at the bottom of the stairs to go back to him room. He looked at you perplexedly, but stopped anyways to let you speak.

“Felix wanted to know how the tarts tasted? He was so happy someone ordered some.” You grinned. Chan let out a breathless laugh, the corners of his mouth curling upwards at your question.

“Tell him they were fantastic. I’m pretty sure my colleague Changbin wants some for the road.” Chan replied, showing off a set of dimples. You nodded before waving the man off, retreating back to your room.

You swore, you have never slept as good as you did that night after your encounter with Chan.

You would also occasionally see 3racha come back to your tavern time and time again

usually when they were in the area for a quest, but they never failed to spend the night and try whatever was specially made that day.

and because of them, you put up a Quest board by the door for people who had odd jobs and were looking for adventurers to complete them.

Things calmed down a bit after that

You were glad, cause it meant you got to spend much more time with Felix, which was nice.

Some nights Felix would hear a song he particularly liked and would emerge from the kitchen to pick you out of the crowd and dance with you.

You always felt happiest in those few moment holding his hands as he twirled you around and sang off key

and on the particularly cold nights, after you were all closed up for the evening,

Felix would read to you, with you snuggled up under his chin and his arms around you, illuminated only by the light of a single candlestick.

It began with simple short stories, but soon enough it became a nightly occurrence and Felix would read novels over the course of a week or two.

And when the snow eventually started to melt and spring rolled around, you would go out to the meadow just beyond the northern border of Miroh and have afternoon picnics.

Felix liked these days best.

You always looked so beautiful, basking in the warm sun while telling him about whatever juicy gossip you heard at the tavern that week.

It reminded him of the afternoons you would accompany him to the greenhouse at the castle, and how those were his favourite days back then too.

only now, you were his wife, and he was free to love you more wholeheartedly.

It was a sunny afternoon and you and Felix were simply enjoying each other’s company

he laid with his head in your lap as you talked about the newest shipment of ale you were to get tomorrow morning, your fingers mindlessly scratching at his scalp.

he let his eyes flutter shut, the sound of your voice and the smell of your skin putting Felix in a dreamy haze

He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep for when you finally tapped delicately on his cheek.

“Hey, I’m so boring you fell asleep?” You teased, causing Felix to sigh and look up at you.

Felix swore you had to be an angel, especially in that moment.

“You could never bore me, My Love.” Felix replied, voice deep and groggy from just waking up.

He sat up and stretched his arms over his head, blinking his eyes a bit to adjust to the warm orange sun.

“We’d better get back, its almost time to open.” You urged your husband, reaching for the cutlery to put it in the basket you bought.

“I wanna stay here with you.” Felix whined playfully, scooting over to lean his head down on your shoulder.

“We cant stay here, we have to work.”

“whyyyyyy?”

“Because! If we don’t work, we can’t have yummy food to eat or books to read or a place to sleep when it gets cold.”

“That’s dumb. I want to just lay with you in the grass and listen to you talk and hold onto you and kiss you and not worry about anything.”

“I know, but life isn’t perfect like that, Dear.” You finished packing away all the plates and cutlery before placing a kiss on Felix’s head, “Besides, if we don’t open up our place for people to stay and be happy for a while, who will?”

Felix hummed, lifting his head to look at you before leaning in and kissing you. 

This time it was longer

Felix felt so lovesick, much like he always does when it comes to you.

He willed all of his love into the kiss, holding you tenderly as you kissed him back with just as much fervor.

When you finally parted, you stood up and held your hand out for Felix. He gladly accepted it, standing too

You made your way down the cobblestone street, swinging your hands back and forth like children as you spoke about how lovely the weather had been the past few days

As you approached the tavern, you noticed there was a man sat on the steps out front

When you actually recognized him, you almost dropped your basket

Minho.

Upon noticing your arrival, he stood up, and blinked a couple times. He seemed like he was the one who was surprised you and Felix were there

He wore simple looking clothes, a cloak for travel, and no crown; this was probably to avoid crowds forming and too much attention…

Felix swore his heart stopped as he froze in place, locking eyes with his brother

He wanted to go to him; hug him and tell him how much he missed seeing Minho. 

He had thought about writing to his older brother, but resisted to urge as he was afraid.

Minho wasn’t just his brother,

He was heir to the throne of Clé

Which meant he had responsibilities.

Ones that probably included bringing Felix back

So instead of going to Minho, greeting him lovingly, Felix held your hand tighter and swallowed heavily

“Yongbok.” The Prince gasped, a breathless chuckle passing through his lips as he approached the two of you, “so the rumours were true…”

Felix said nothing, only putting himself between you and Minho and taking a half step back.

He didn’t know why he had come, but his worst fear was you being taken from him.

Upon your reaction, Minho stopped, eyebrows quirked in confusion. His smile faded

“Why have you come?” Felix asked, expression firm, but he felt like he was made of jelly

You held his hand tightly, swiping your thumb gently across the back of it to help calm your husband down.

“For answers.” Minho replied, fingers fiddling with the hem of his tunic as he watched the two of you, “and to see you I guess…”

The Prince walked back closer to the door, nodding his head towards it, “I arrived a bit earlier and I didn’t get an answer, so I assumed you were out. May we talk more inside?”

“Did you come alone, your highness?” You asked, finally speaking up. You weren’t sure if you should treat Minho with formalities or not, but it felt wrong to address him any other way…

The Prince nodded, “I didn’t want too much attention if I didn’t end up finding you. So..?”

Minho once again gestured to the door and you looked at Felix, who still seemed to be glued to the spot on the walkway

In all honesty, he could barely sense anything besides the sound of the blood rushing in his ears and the feeling of your hand in his.

He felt like his brain was shutting down.

This situation didn’t feel real.

It couldn’t be real

“Dear, what do you want to do?”

It was real.

“What do you think?” Felix finally whispered, turning to you. You gazed into your husbands eyes to find panic residing in them

However, you felt oddly at ease

If Minho was alone, he wasn’t a threat to you

For now, at least

Besides, he already had all the information he needed to ruin your life

He found you.

What more damage could be done by inviting him in?

You nodded, urging Felix to go to his brother

Felix nodded, turning back to Minho, who looked at the two of you expectantly

Felix wordlessly approached the door, holding onto your hand still as he unlocked it, allowing the three of you to enter the tavern

Minho looked around the room; if he had any opinion on your tavern, he didn’t say. He simply stood by the bar, as you closed the door.

Felix was still staring at his brother. It had been so long, he almost didn’t remember what he looked like

Had he always had that hair colour?

“Uhm.. can I get you anything, your highness? Perhaps a tea or something stronger?” You asked tentatively, pulling down a couple of chairs at a table for them to sit at.

“Just tea, thank you.” Minho hummed, sitting at the table you prepared for them. You nodded, taking the basket back to the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink and prepare a pot of tea.

Felix still stood near the bar, feeling anxiety bubble up. The only ease he felt was the sound of you in the kitchen; it was the only thing that grounded him.

“What do you want?” Felix asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He missed Minho, but he couldn’t trust him right now.

“To talk” Minho stated, gesturing to the chair across from him. Felix hesitated, bouncing his leg nervously. Minho slyly grinned, “I don’t bite, Yongbok.”

“Don’t call me that.” Felix mumbled, finally coming over to the table and sitting down across from his brother.

He was still weary, but he knew you were close by if anything happened

“Oh yes, I’ve heard you have a new name. Felix, is it?” Minho asked, frowning as he tapped his fingers on the table and hummed, “Interesting choice. It suits you.”

“What do you want?” Felix repeated, leaning forward in his chair with his expression cold. Minho smiled again, playfully looking at the younger man.

“No need be defensive! I told you. I came for answers.” Minho said. You returned, teapot and a couple of teacups on a tray that you sat down the table. Minho thanked you with a smile, only for you to bow.

You felt unsure if you should sit

Technically, you didn’t work for the royal court anymore, but Minho was still royalty...

You decided to stay standing, placing a gentle hand on your husband’s shoulder to hopefully help ease him.

It did, as you felt Felix’s shoulders relax under your touch.

Minho poured himself some tea, the sweet citrus aroma filling the air; He quietly stirred in a spoon of sugar before tapping it against the rim of the teacup.

“First and foremost, It is nice to see you.” Minho hummed, blowing on his drink twice before taking a tentative sip.

Felix was quiet for only a moment before mumbling out “It’s nice to see you too.”

He meant it.

As much as he felt defensive and out of his element, it was nice to see his brother after all this time.

Minho grinned, looking down to his lap at the confession. He chewed his bottom lip nervously before taking another sip of tea

“You know, you really stirred up a lot of trouble back home.” Minho chuckled, lacing his fingers together and setting his hands on the table, “Do you know what mother has been telling people?”

Felix was quiet; he hadn’t heard anything from Clé since you left.

“That I kidnapped Felix.” You answered for him, causing Felix to look over at you. Your expression was unreadable, but you stared at Minho with some sort of resolve

The Prince looked to you, raising his eyebrows and scoffing.

“Exactly that. “The Trusted Courtier took weapons from the armory and forced The Helpless Prince Yongbok to leave with them, never to be seen again.”” Minho huffed in a sarcastic tone, crossing his arms over his chest, “Can you believe it? How absurd.”

“You don’t believe it?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed and lips drawn into an amused pout; Your expression could be described as cat-like; cautious, yet curious.

“How could I when I found this?” Minho laughed, pulling a folded parchment from out of his pants pocket and placing it on the table.

Felix picked it up and opened it, revealing his own handwriting.

He immediately closed it when he realized what it was, causing his brother to let out a laugh from deep in his chest.

“What is it Felix?” You asked, leaning over to look at your husband’s now reddening face.

“I noticed you took all of your journals and letters with you.” Minho hummed, before pointing at the parchment, “But it seems you must have forgotten one.”

“I- Well...” Felix stammered, looking between you and Minho. Sighing in defeat, he handed you the parchment and let you read it.

Your eyes lit up to see it was a letter

addressed to you.

from Felix.

“Dear (Y/N), I’m not sure I’ll ever be allowed to say this out loud, so I’m writing this letter. You’ll probably never see it; in fact, I intend to never give this to you, but I need to say this or else I’ll probably combust. I am in love with you (I can’t believe I just wrote that...). You’re so smart and so kind. I feel warm when I am around you. You are the only person I feel like truly understands me and I hope that you enjoy spending time with me like I enjoy spending time with you. The truth is, you make my days bearable. You are like the sun. The stars in the night sky. I had the realization I have been struck by Cupid’s arrow because I think about you at all hours. You are my muse; I wonder which flowers you like best while I tend to all of them in the garden. I take my dance lessons and I imagine you are my dance partner. When I lay in bed at night, I think about how I must fall asleep quickly in order to see you again. But what I think about most is if you feel this way about me too? I hope so. - Felix”

Minho watched you read the letter, eyes softening as your expression grew ever so brighter as your eyes flicked down the page.

Felix watched you too, clearly embarrassed by his younger self; but all that dissipated as he saw how bright you were.

“I don’t think someone would write something like that about their kidnapper.” Minho hummed, taking another sip of tea as you finished the letter. You folded it up and held onto to it for a moment, feeling your heart flutter at the words.

Of course, you knew Felix loved you more than anything. But it was special seeing how much he loved you and for how long he’s loved you.

You gazed lovingly at Felix, placing a quick kiss to his cheek. He smiled up at you, grabbing onto your hand that laid at his shoulder.

“So.” Minho cleared his throat, “Seeing as I found that, I knew that something else was going on. And I needed to find out for myself. So I followed the only lead I could find.”

“Rumors of a tavern in Miroh?” Felix deduced, to which his brother nodded, leaning back in his chair. He looked around the room before smiling softly.

“and it looks like the rumors were true.” Minho said looking between you and Felix.

A silence washed over you all for a moment. It seemed Minho was pretty understanding of what your relationship with Felix was

however, that didn’t necessarily mean he approved.

“So, what does it mean now that you know the truth?” Felix asked bluntly. Minho stared at him for a moment before leaning forward

“Are you happy?” Minho asked, tone serious as he laced his fingers together again and placed them on the table.

“More than I’ve ever been.” Felix said honestly, staring down his brother. Minho shook his head before letting out a sigh. His demeanor shifted a bit as you and Felix watched him seemingly have an internal struggle raging in his head. After a moment of silence, he pursed his lips and tapped his fingers on the table nonchalantly as he seemingly had made a decision.

“The truth is, I told myself if it really was you, I’d bring you home.” The Prince said simply. He looked down at the table, brushing a hand through his hair, “I thought you had made a rash and irresponsible decision and I was going to bring you back to where you belong. Of course, I’d leave (Y/N) alone. If I brought them back, Father would surely have their head...”

Felix’s grip on your hand tightened, his stomach dropping at his brother’s words.

Minho’s expression softened as he looked at the two of you, taking one last sip from his teacup.

“However, I see now this is where you belong.” Minho said with a nod. He gestured around the room, playful expression finding it way onto his face, “You have made quite a beautiful home here and you seem to be happier with (Y/N) than I’ve ever seen you be at the castle. It would be wrong of me to take that away, I think.”

“Minho...” Felix sighed with relief, thankfulness written all over his face, “I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you, your highness.” You said, bowing at the prince. Minho shook his head and waved his hand, slight pout on his lips.

“There is no need for you to do that, (Y/N). You’re my brother's wife now, so consider the formalities negated.” He said, chuckling to himself, “Besides, I’m not the heir to the throne right now. I’m just a man who came to visit.”

“You should stay for the night.’ Felix exclaimed, smiling at his brother for the first time since he arrived, “The tavern is very lively in the evenings. And I’d love to talk to you more.”

“I can’t stay, unfortunately.” Minho said with a frown, “I’m supposed to be at an alliance coalition with some of the western kingdoms early tomorrow morning, but I snuck away just to see you.”

“One more cup of tea couldn’t hurt?” You suggested, raising an eyebrow at the prince and jabbing a thumb in the direction of the kitchen, “Not to mention, Felix baked a lovely batch of blueberry muffins this morning, and it would be a shame for you not to try one.”

“My brother’s a baker?” Minho teased, turning to Felix and cracking a grin, “No way he would be capable of something like that. I simply must try it out for myself!”

“I’ll go put the kettle back on, and give you two some time to talk alone.” You hummed, placing a quick kiss on Felix’s lips and retreated back into the kitchen; you did take the love letter with you to re-read though

Felix giggled, his body feeling like it was on cloud nine.

He swore, he never felt so happy

maybe it was because he was relieved that his life wasn’t over,

but it was also nice to see Minho again.

The two of them talked as they used to, comfortably and casually.

Felix wouldn’t have the chance to speak with Minho often when he lived at the castle; his brother was much more busy and with conflicting duties and schedules, they never really had the time.

But whenever they did, it was never uncomfortable or awkward.

You didn’t want to intrude on their time alone, so after the tea was done and ready, you brought it to them before scurrying back to the kitchen to make yourself busy preparing for the dinner tonight

Felix asked about Karina and how Clé was doing; Apparently they were well, and Minho seemed to truly love the future queen. Felix also learned that apparent Winter had been married last autumn and was doing well too (Felix felt very relieved to hear this)

Clé was in a minor food shortage, but Minho was hoping to supplement that with an trade alliance with the western island of Halazia, who needed lumber for ships.

Felix then told Minho of the tavern and what it was like trying to afford to get it up and running. He spoke of the evening activities and how he got to do what he loved all the time. 

And of course, Felix spoke of you; he told his brother how you supported him always, how you would do anything to make him happy, and how much he adored you as a person. He talked about all of his favourite activities to do with you and how it felt like a dream come true to get to fall asleep next to you everyday.

They were so caught up in conversation, they were both taken by surprise when someone walked in the door

“Wow, you guys have been slacking off today! The chairs aren’t even taken off the bar yet.” Hyunjin huffed out, smile on his face as he hung up his jacket. When he realized Felix was with another man, he flinched and grew flustered.

“Oh, forgive me! I didn’t realize you had a visitor.” Hyunjin apologized with a bow, “Sorry for intruding.”

“Don’t worry about it, Jinnie!” Felix chuckled, turning to Minho, “This is Hyunjin, our bar-hand.”

Hyunjin bowed again, waving at Minho before disappearing into the back to “take an inventory check”

“I guess that would be my cue to leave.” Minho hummed, standing from his chair. He hesitated to go, wanting to spend more time with Felix...

but Minho knew his responsibilities far outweighed his desire.

Felix lunged at him, engulfing his brother in a tight hug, which was reciprocated warmly.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well here.” Minho said, releasing Felix from his grip, “I’ll be sure to write to you occasionally. And if I can, I’d love to visit you once again.” 

“You better! I’ll miss you too much if you don’t” Felix grinned, leading Minho to the door, “Goodbye and safe travels.”

Minho hesitated once more at the door before hugging Felix again. With that final hug, he said goodbye, with Felix watching him walk away until he was out of sight

Felix felt his heart ache at the sight, but knew that he would at least be able to see Minho again someday

which was much more joyous than never hearing from him at all.

“Uhm... Lix?” Hyunjin asked, coming out from the back and leaning on the bar. He had a slight frown on his face and a pout on his lips.

Oh yes, Felix almost forgot he would have to try and explain the sudden visitor, which was very out of the ordinary of him to have.

“Yes?”

“I don’t mean to pry, but who was that?”

“That was my brother.” Felix mumbled, thinking up an excuse. He chewed his bottom lip before gazing up at Hyunjin, “He’s from a far away kingdom, so he can’t visit often.”

Hyunjin’s frown deepened, but he simply nodded, flashing a fake smile.

“Well, I’m glad your brother could visit.” He hummed, before starting to prepare the bar for tonight.

Did Hyunjin really have no further questions for Felix? It felt odd considering that the situation was strange and Felix gave a kind of wishy-washy, short answer.

technically he didn’t lie to Hyunjin,

Minho was from a kingdom far from here.

He just didn’t tell him Minho was soon to be the king of said kingdom

Felix doubted that Hyunjin didn’t have anymore suspicions about his visitor; He had always been bright and attentive, being able to read pretty much anyone. Hyunjin most likely knew something was fishy but simply decided to not say anything about it.

that is, until the bar had closed down for the night and the bar-keep beckoned both you and your husband to the back storage room to discuss something.

“So, what is this all about?” You asked, oblivious to the situation at hand

“I finally pieced it all together.” Hyunjin stated simply, expression unreadable

you furrowed your brow in confusion, looking over to Felix who looked as though he had seen a ghost. 

of course he figured it out. 

Felix knew he would 

But what did that mean for all you’d have built?

so many new people being let in on your little secret made him sick. Putting trust that his and your entire life wouldn’t be ruined in another person’s hands makes him anxious beyond belief.

“Pardon? I’m not sure what you are referring to, Jin?” You confessed truthfully; you weren’t sure what the bar-keep was speaking of, but you could feel your nerves grow weak as you were sure to be able to guess what this could be about.

“I was wondering why we had the honor of a visit from Prince of Clé,” Hyunjin began, eyes darting between you and Felix as he spoke, “I couldn’t remember where I recognized him from at first, but then I remembered seeing his face in the paper after his wedding. And Felix informed me that it was his brother coming to visit, which cleared all my suspicions up.”

“I... I don’t know what to say...” Felix spoke shakily, body trembling.

god he felt so stupid!

of course people would know what the Clé prince -the future king of a neighboring kingdom- would look like.

why did he reveal it was his family...

“The bounty hunters, not speaking of the past, even that Clé longbow you keep behind the bar...” Hyunjin hummed, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk, “not to mention you bear a striking resemblance to a particular missing prince?”

You were silent, standing like a statue as you assessed what to do.

truthfully, you were even less surprised than Felix that Hyunjin had figured it out; intuition and a few clues you supposed.

“Am I correct?” Hyunjin tilted his head slightly; his gaze was playful as his lips were drawn into a thin line.

Felix looked to you, reaching out his hand to lace his fingers with yours before turning back to Hyunjin with a curt nod.

there was no sense to lie to the man anymore.

Hyunjin bit his bottom lip, staring at the floor. The room was silent and the air was thick with tension

Until Hyunjin let out a breathless chuckle shaking his head. A grin found its way onto his face as you and Felix held your breath

“Honestly, I’m just more upset you guys didn’t tell me sooner” the bar-keep hummed, looking between you two, “how long have I worked here by now? And you still don’t trust me?”

“Sorry Jin,” You frowned, feeling a slight bit embarrassed at him scolding you, “But I’m sure you can understand why we want to keep our past a secret”

“No shit, hey?” Hyunjin laughed, which sounded like a symphony to Felix

He wasn’t going to turn you both in

Honestly, now that he really thought about it, it wouldn’t be in Hyunjin’s character to betray you both like that, so why was Felix even worried in the first place?

Well, plenty of reasons, considering what the secret was.

But it was Hyunjin.

And Felix liked him.

He trusted him.

And you did too.

“Hyunjin, we should have told you the moment we hired you. We are really sorry.” Felix confessed, reaching his hand out to shake the other man’s. For some reason, Felix did feel genuinely guilty for hiding his past from Hyunjin…

It must have shown on his face because Hyunjin simply looked at before swatting it away, pulling your husband into a hug

“Hey, I get it.” He spoke softly, pulling away to wrap his arms around you tenderly, “both of you must have gone through hell. I don’t blame you for wanting to move forward and never look back.”

“Maybe we can, just once more.” You suggested, looking between the two men with a knowing smirk, “I think you deserve a bit more detail onto how we got here, no?”

“Should I put the tea on?” Felix asked, smiling at you and then at Hyunjin fondly.

He couldn’t agree with you more; if he’s going to know, Hyunjin should get the whole story. The truth.

“I’d love to hear all about it.” Hyunjin exclaimed enthusiastically, walking out to the bar and pulling down a couple of the stools, “I’m sure it’s a hell of a story…”

And you couldn’t help but agree; your life with Felix was quite the story…

One that now had more interesting characters in it.

And one that you couldn’t wait to see how it goes next, with the dawn of new connections, but the same love you had and always will have for Felix

——————————————

A/N: OKAYYY FINALLY DONE!! Just over a year this baby has been in the making, but posting my 3racha fic in this universe had me inspired to finally finish it. I know this part has a little less focus on you and Lix, but I get as though other characters and relations are also interesting. I hope you enjoyed it :33

[bloodyshadow1]

my detailed thoughts on the first season of Percy jackson.

Cons:

The pacing, I know everyone says this, but really the pacing of this season was all over the place. having 8 episodes while probably the only option for the writing team really hurt the series overall. Adding an additional episode would helped keep things better I think and would allow a better flow. Not to mention it would help keep things structured in a 3 act system with a beginning, middle, and end that a lot of stories, are told in which would have just fit and flowed better. I would prefer 12 eps, for each act having 4 eps, but that is greedy since they're probably going to be stuck with 8 for the rest of the series too

Lightning, the series was just too dark in a lot of scenes, I didn't have much of a problem because I watched on my smarttv, but I know a lot of people who watched on computers or phones had trouble

The beginning, there should have been more episodes in Camp Half-Blood, at least 1 more. I get that the meat of the story is in the journey, but by not establishing camp half-blood as the first place Percy felt like home it makes it feel emptier. I do like how they including flashbacks of luke training percy in the finale but I would have liked more in camp half blood before the start

There's a less wonder and magic in the series than there was in the books. I don't really know how to describe it, but the books made it feel like there were two worlds hiding within each other and there is magic everywhere. Just small things like Ares turning his lost shield into a bullet proof vest because that's the more modern take.

I'm not with a vocal part of the fandom that bitch and moan over the kids not falling into every trap, I like that Percy is smarter, but instead of just making him smarter, I think they should have just had him ask more questions, like if he was a 12 year old with ADHD who had his eyes open to a world. By making him ask questions, it would help let them explain the world more by having people answer Percy, instead of him knowing everything. Certain things I think could have been done better, like the Kronos reveal and the Luke reveal, it could be done as a reveal instead of Percy figuring it out and I think it would have worked better. like have Percy realize it when talking through the prophecy with Luke because Luke mentions the bolt and the helm, something Percy wouldn't have told him or anyone at camp.

For the most part, I like how they did the gods, with the exception with Zeus and Athena. Zeus is such a larger than life figure, as much as I love Lance Riddick's performance, he played him too epic. The Zeus from the books feels more like a powerful blowhard while the series makes him feel too cool to me. As for Athena, I'll admit I'm bias because she's my favorite god but I don't like her being made the villain in Annabeth's story especially offscreen. I get that they're playing up the gods being shit more than the books and since they made Poseidon more sympathetic, making Athena more antagonistic is a choice to make. I just don't think it fits her cold and logical, but still cares about her kids in her way that she was portrayed in the books.

Grover. I honestly like a lot of the things they added to his character, but I wish they didn't take away from his canon character moments. Not many, but I liked him being a different species than Percy and Annabeth, he isn't human, he's part goat and instead of the books stuff, he's more just a kid with different legs and short horns than another creature. Also by taking away his reed pipes and not showing him being able to do magic, it limits the character.

While people complain about the show... showing not telling, I feel like there was a lack of exposition in the show that wasn't there in the books. It kind of goes with Percy being smarter in the show than the books, but there's a lot of stuff left out of the show that is good world building. small example, no one mentions that monsters don't die for good, which is a very important plot point in heroes of olympus, even if they don't make it, it's a good thing to tell a new demi-gods. Or other plot points, like Annabeth wanting to see her father after all these years, despite how badly things broke before, which just kind of resolves offscreen.

Honestly though, it was only the fandom that ever really bothered me. Too many people focusing on uncharitable changes about the series that had to be made since there is a difference between a first person perspective book series and a tv series that they had to make. That they couldn't fit everything into an 8 ep series that's in a whole book

Pros:

Honestly, one of the best adaptions I've seen despite all the cons.

The acting in the show is awesome, the actors for the kids are young but perfect for the roles they were assigned. they might not look like the books, but I genuinely think it doesn't matter if they're going to be this good. Walker, Leah, and Aryan stand out as the stars of this show and for good reason

I really like the way they portrayed Luke in the tv series, I get the twist in the books, but by bringing up stuff with him earlier I think it makes him more sympathetic. I also think by not including the scorpion to kill Percy, and instead make it clear Luke doesn't want to kill Percy makes him feel more like a kid making a dumb decision instead of someone willing to murder a 12 year old.

I like how they portrayed Sally in the show even if some people disagree. I like that she shows more flaws and character than just being the sweetest saddest woman that she was in the books. As much as Sally loves Percy, him not only being a demi-god, but a neurodivergent kid, it wears on any parent's patience, especially a single mother. Having her get angry and lose her temper, having us as the viewers know what she's been through makes her feel more real and fits better for a tv show.

I like most of the effects, I think it fits in the show and looks better than a lot of blockbuster movies. Lightning aside. I think the monsters looked good and so did the magic even if I think the latter could be better

Honestly, I think the fight scenes were great for a disney show where the main character is supposed to be 12. I know people are annoyed with how short they are, but that's how they were in the books. I think they were adapted fine.

I like that since we're not in Percy's head, we get more of Annabeth and Grover. It feels like a real proper adventuring trio than the books where it felt like it was so Percy focused with Annabeth being the secondary main and grover being a main, but kind of sidekick character. Letting Grover and Annabeth be characters, to have scenes without Percy and changing things from the books, like having Annabeth seeing the fates cut the thread, makes more sense when you're not doing a first person books

Overall I think they changed things in a very fair and pragmatic sense. There were a lot, but there were less egergious than the movie that changed the whole plot.

[easternmind]

Last year in classic games

For motives I cannot expand on with much glee, I found a little more time than usual this year to reduce my seemingly endless backlog of classics. Despite all the fine new releases 2023 has greeted us with, I was able to finally dive into this eclectic handful of games I gathered over time. It is perhaps no coincidence that I reached out for more direct game experiences than story-driven ones. I find myself increasingly drawn to games designs that are mindful of the player's time as a commodity not to be carelessly squandered.

One note, if I may: I would like to inspire my readers to progressively discard the use of the word retro this year. We are all of advancing years and wisdom, I trust. The introduction of the term retro to the videogame vernacular was a gross mistake furthering the abhorrent notion that games were as ephemeral in their nature as fashion. It is a purely commercial designation by which to profitably repackage old software as a category of its own, originating from the same minds that considered games as mere novelty trinkets of limited marketable lifespan.

It is up to the player to individually decide on an older game's appeal, whether they may be discovering it for the first time or revisiting it for the umpteenth one. This is not only an appeal for those of you who write about games in any capacity, rather to anyone who takes videogames as a serious interest and communicates with others about this the object of their predilection. Thank you.

This loose cart came with a Famicom bundle auction I won in 2009, if memory serves. I turned on the Famicom and tested it merely to verify if it was still in working condition and found myself engrossed in that trademark Pajitnov/Pokhilko elegant approach to game design. As per the cassette's label, Hatris was originally a concept developed in collaboration with ParaGraph, a Russian studio that went on to develop specialized professional software, a year before the Bullet-Proof Software licensing deal. They produced a few games in the turn of the decade that were rather unusual and, some would say, even visionary. I recommend that you look up their story, if you're curious.

The only entry from the group that isn't of Japanese provenance - though it is a Japanese edition - I played it for purely nostalgic motives, perhaps a yearning for a certain pixel, palette and parallax that resoundingly evoke a time I was fortunate enough to experience, first-hand. If I may be honest, I purchased the game for the visual value of its unique cover art, which I deem superior to the US edition's. In saying that, I must highlight that the original Amiga game box art was quite accomplished.

In the Summer of 93 while on holiday at the beach, there was a French Nintendo magazine for sale whose purchase I could not resist. It was very common to find Spanish, English and French publications at the time in Portugal. This edition had a striking four page preview of this Jaleco gem, Ikari no Yōsai, or Operation Logic Bomb as it was named in the West. For years I searched the PAL version in vain, then ultimately decided to import it on account of - you'd never guess! - the superior box art. Playing it this year at long last, I was instantly reminded of an old Game Boy favourite, Fortified Zone, which I now know to be its prequel. Most top-down shooters are best played in co-op. Ikari no Yōsai is strictly and single-player affair and not once did I miss the absence of a friendly companion.

Keio Flying Squadron 2 first came to my attention via an infamous Saturn demo disc, which came into my hands through circumstances I have since forgotten about. I use the word infamous because the entire game code was available in the disc and the level select cheat code enabled me to unscrupulously play the entirety of the game for no additional expense - at only the cost of missing out on the colourful Studio Pierrot anime FMV interludes.

Having played the sequel first, I was somewhat disenchanted to learn the original game did not feature any platforming segments, it being a pure scrolling shooter in the same whimsical vein as Parodius or, say, an AirZonk. Still, a jolly good time with the old three buttons.

For reasons that will not be immediately apparent to younger reading audiences, I pride myself in having completed most Shinobi games, The Revenge Of and GG being my preferred ones. Shin Shinobi Den, or Shinobi X in Europe, was a game not readily available from my usual game dealers. I eventually borrowed the PAL version once, though not nearly long enough to master it. I finally saw it through this year, mere days before SEGA announced a new episode. While the live action clips looked a tad maladroit in the 1990s, they came to acquire that nice patina I now look for in classic games.

Omega Force was known to take the sporadic breather from producing some of KOEI's most cherished and profitable series. I distinctly remember enjoying Destrega quite a bit in its day, a game quite unlike any other. What their 1998 Enigma lacks in consistency and originality, it more than amply makes up for with its own bizarre concepts, extravagant characters and unexpected genre fusions. Of all the titles in this post, this was the one whose pace felt the most sluggish, and needlessly so.

Microsoft Game Studio Japan release schedule plans were not at all kind on this, their first production, Magatama. Earlier this year I praised this era for its highly inspired H&S action adventure titles and even spent a few days delighting myself with the likes of Blood Will Tell, Nightshade, Bujingai, or Chaos Legion. This most unusual creation, developed by the aptly-named Team Breakout - a group composed of many talented ex-Square employees - is one among the finest of the era. Sadly, it did not do enough to persuade players at the time that it was a better purchase than Otogi or its sequel. Playing it with my mind and heart set back in time to 2003, I can say that this misguided consideration may not have withstood a second thought.

I've long wanted to write an extensive article on Japanese firefighting games. In fact, I have the structure laid out for a Japanofiles entry gathering moss in my Tumblr drafts for over a decade now. For a brief period this year I convinced myself I could finally fulfil this aspiration and resumed Sakurazaka Shouboutai as research. Developed by Racdym - later Racjin - for Irem, it is every bit as good as Firefighter F.D.18 or Hard Luck, and in many ways more inventive from a conceptual standpoint. While Konami and Spike found a way to have their games released in the west, Sakurazaka's poor regional sales performance clearly accounts for Irem's reluctance to bear the cost of an overseas ticket.

[watusay]

TW: Mention of shootings

My school has a back entrance, I think most schools do. All the doors are locked from the outside all day except at the beggining of the day when kids are coming into the building. anyone can be let inside from anyone already in the building. At my old school I mentioned to my mother(who works at the school) how students could easily leave or let someone in. She had explained how it won't and can't happen, I don't remember her reasons but they made since. Today at my school I saw kids letting people in through the back entrance. My school has kids wear lanyerds, I think most school do. After 3 school shootings in a week my school has been making it top priority for students to wear them to make sure people who arnt supposed to arnt in the school. The person who was let in wasnt wearing a lanyerd. They were obviously a student, and I've seen them before, but this brings up the topic of security issues and breeches.

A common question I ask myself is "when it isn't students, how are the shooters getting in?" I feel what I saw could answer the question(in some cases) .

Shootings have been on my mind for several days and I have a few Ideas on how we could prevent shootings and intruders.

Prevention 1: Bullet proof glass

If you look at the chart above you can see, shooters arnt just kids. This leads to the question of how. Schools have protections so people can't get in, but if we think back to 2023 with the Nashville school shooting, Aiden Hale (the shooter) had gotten into the school by shooting at the doors which were mostly glass. The bullets shatterd the glass giving him access to the inside of the building.

A way this could have been prevented is bullet proof glass on the doors, even windows. Only about an estimated 2% of school nationwide have the technology to make this change.

The cost isn't very flexible or feasibility though, with an estimated $50,000-$75,000 per elementary school alone to make this change. With there being 130,930 k-12 school in the US, around 70,000 of that including elementary, It would cost around 3,500,000,000-5,250,000,000 for just elementary schools alone. (I think. I'm bad at math.) This isnt cheep at all but neither at funerals.

Prevention 2: requirements to buy a gun

In a personal opinion I feel we as citizens, should have the right to bear arms, but with a background check, a psyche evaluation, with a permit and proper training, and for anyone over the age of 25.

I know some of this feels unnecessary but it's not. 2 of the things I think would be most controversial are a psyche evaluation and anyone over 25.

A psyche evaluation would be a good way to protect a person and others. If someone's not in the right state of mind and struggling mentally they might buy the gun with an intent to kill themselves and something even others who they might blame for why there struggling as revenge.

And the reason I say a person should be over the age of 25 is for a few reasons.

1: you turn 18 while in high school. This is giving high schoolers across to guns

2: your not even old enough for alcohol, why should you be given access to weapons, especially when you can find them at any Walmart in the South Midwest(idk about other regions)

3: study's show your brain isn't fully developed till around the age of 25. Your still likely to do illogical and dangerous things after your 18 and even after 25, but pushing the time back and giving an extra 7 years to mature should help

In my state, anyone can get a gun as long as there 18. I'm sure this is the case I'm lots of states, but the fact you don't need a permanent in insain to me, cause as I said earlier, 18 is still a high schooler.

There are many other ways to prevent this cough like gun laws cough, and I just don't have the time or patience to go through all the logical stuff right now. I will definitely write more on this topic. This was kinda just a rant but if you read all of this props to you:}

[dragonsarecool]

Febwhump Day 29 - Not Allowed to Die

A/N: A short look at Marty's thoughts as he returns to 1985 in Part I.

His head fell back as he let out an agonising wail.

Were all of his efforts for nothing?!

The universe certainly knew how to screw with him.

His hands clutched Doc's collar with such vigor that he could've torn the fabric seams apart. He frantically shook his best friend, ignoring how his head flopped uncontrollably. "DAMMIT DOC, WAKE UP!"

He can't be dead!

HE CAN'T BE!

Not after everything we did…!

"Doc…" Marty sobbed. "Don't…leave…me…! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!"

I can't do this on my own…

"You can't die on me, Doc!" He roared. "DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE!"

This isn't how it's supposed to end!

He couldn't see anything through the thick curtain of tears descending down his face, let alone Doc's lifeless body, so he chose to close his eyes and embrace the sorrow enveloping him. He curled up and wrapped his arms around his legs, hugging himself as he sobbed.

I should've run faster!

Hell, I should've used the damn car that can go faster than me!

Should I have come back before he even showed up to the mall and waited for him?!

A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder, and he could've sworn his soul left his body. "HOLY SHIT!"

Marty whipped around, his jaw falling open. "…Doc?!"

The scientist smiled as he nodded, removing his hand from Marty's shoulder. "I heard you, and I'm not going anywhere." He began unzipping his jumpsuit, pulling it aside to reveal a bullet proof vest decorating his frame.

Son of a bitch! Marty finally realised there was no visible blood; the logical part of his brain was spiralling with questions. "But…how?! I never got a chance to tell you!…"

Doc reached beneath the vest to reveal a very familiar piece of paper. It had yellowed considerably and was taped in multiple places, but Marty recognised it all the same. The young man grabbed the note and unfolded it, revealing his own writing had been impeccably pieced back together. Surprisingly, the ink had barely faded, although the logo for Lou's Cafe was looking a bit worse for wear.

But what about all the damn space time continuum bullshit?

He took a moment to compose himself, wiping his eyes on his shirt. "What was all that talk…about screwing up the future? The space time continuum?"

"Well," Doc whispered. "I figured, 'What the hell?'"

Marty found himself laughing heartily. He tossed the note aside as he threw his arms around his best friend, allowing joyful tears to run freely down his cheeks. Both men embraced each other tightly, ignoring the damp ground, the icy chill in the air, and the fact both of them were shaking violently.

There was a lot that still needed to happen. After all, Doc had thirty years' worth of questions he could ask now that the timelines had synced up. And judging by how distressed the young man in his arms was, there would be a lot of talking to come over the following days.

But for now, they celebrated each other's company in the parking lot, with Einstein barking happily next to them.

Their future still lay ahead of them, and no one could change it now.

A/N: And that concludes Febwhump 2024! Thank you to everyone who's been following along and leaving comments - it's been wonderful reading them and hearing your thoughts! Glad to hear people enjoyed my take on bashing poor Marty.

[tenebriskukris]

An Exhumation of Hikaru Kamiki's Character Act III Act II: Two Idiots Walk Off A Cliff And The Writing Follows Suit

Spoilers for the entirety of Oshi No Ko below.

159 ends off with the start of the second confrontation between Hikaru and Aqua with all the issues that the previous confrontation had with a new serving of shitty writing to boot! For starters, how did Aqua find Hikaru in the first place? Why is he approaching Hikaru alone when he presumably has Akane help him protect Ruby and judging by the sky during the time when Nino tried to stab “Ruby”, this confrontation chronologically happens after Nino gets caught red handed. 

The narrative does not feel the need to answer any logical questions any reader might have about this current situation. Just open your mouth and let the authors shit in it. That’s what the manga is telling the reader throughout this entire confrontation. Don’t believe me? Chapter 160 and all the chapters after that are proof enough in my mind.

160 leads us off with Hikaru explaining how he’d met Nino and Ryosuke and the circumstances that led to Ai’s death, to which Aqua doesn’t believe for a moment considering that he never did anything to save Ruby from Nino considering that he’d just stood by and let it happen. It makes sense, after all. Hikaru himself didn’t go to the police or towards Aqua or Ruby if he suspected that Nino was unstable. Aqua then goes on to describe Hikaru as a liar who manipulated people for his own ends, with clear panels of Ryosuke and Nino involved, validating this conclusion.

Hikaru then goes on this tirade about how Aqua and him are not so different because they lie to fulfill their goals—which is the most dogshit “Not So Different” Remark that I’ve ever seen in a piece of media. Fundamentally speaking Hikaru has used his abilities to make people pawns of his own demented game of murder while Aqua, even at his very worst, never manipulated people to the extremes that Hikaru has. It’s a matter of looking at the end results of said manipulation and reason behind such manipulation in the first place. Aqua manipulated people to kill his father, a murderer, in order to avenge Ai and even then he wasn’t even very good at it—so much so that Ruby when she had two black star eyes was a superior manipulator—and the fact that Hikaru is just plainly a more insidious murderer doesn’t make their moral standings anywhere close to equal.

Of course this could just be the man latching onto something, anything to get Aqua, who is pointing a knife at him, to back down, but the manga doesn’t deserve that kind of credit as a whole. 

161 brings us to a bloody monologue by everyone’s favorite plot device, Crow Girl! If there was ever a way to handwave characterization and move the plot along, it would be through her. I don’t think I need to reiterate exactly Why shoving this information down the readers’ throats is bad after all this time so I’ll proceed directly to the real meat of this interaction.

Hikaru and Aqua have a little talk at the edge of the cliff, discussing how Ruby isn’t eternal and that if Aqua kills Hikaru, Ruby will be branded the sister of a murderer. Hikaru goes on this whole speech about how Ruby won’t be able to be an idol if Aqua kills him—which is so funny since Aqua could easily claim self defense here with the lie that he could spin. The important bit is that he appears so confident and nonchalant about this whole situation, thinking to himself that Aqua’s not going to actually have the guts to kill him. Why would he? The kid has his entire life in front of him and using it to kill someone who’s already on borrowed time is just counterproductive.

Of course, when push comes to shove, Aqua commits to killing Hikaru. We see quite clearly in the panels that Hikaru just fucking folds immediately. The readers see his panicked face, his unease, his general surprise as someone is finally willing to bite the bullet and cut out the cancer. It’s a moment that, under other circumstances, would’ve been quite satisfying to see unfold. 

Once again, my criticism for Hikaru from the last act still rings true. Villains need to be seen at their best before they can be cast down for the hero to vanquish, and this entire confrontation was just processed too fast for Hikaru’s big moments of manipulation to not be undercut by just how fucking pathetic he was at the end. Even with Aqua having a knife, Hikaru still has over fifteen years of age over Aqua. He should be at least competing with Aqua physically, especially since Aqua stabbed himself in the stupidest attempt at a double suicide I’ve ever seen. Hikaru could’ve pushed Aqua away, could’ve ran after Aqua stabbed himself, could’ve just ducked after Aqua’s lunge, or just ran in general the moment that Aqua came out with a knife. It’s just a contrived scenario all around that really throws shade at Hikaru’s intelligence and the general quality of the manga that it’s legitimately impressive how bad this chapter is after one analyzes it for a few minutes.

162 ends Hikaru’s life by having him be choked by Aqua as they both drown together. You’d think that a literal adult would be able to shake off a teenager, especially one that’s already bleeding out, but nope! He hit his head on the rocks on the way down! And it wasn’t even shown to the reader! Incredible writing chops right there!

The cherry on top of Hikaru’s character here are his thoughts as he drowns. It’s impressive how all the sympathy for a character can drain away when his final thoughts are that he wished he could’ve killed his daughter so he can get closer to the girlfriend he’d pulled the strings to kill in the first place. It’s one final reminder at the depth of depravity that Hikaru choices have landed him in. One of the last things in the world that Hikaru and Ai made together and he wants nothing more than to crush it in his hands so that he can feel closer to Ai. I’d say it’s tragic but the narrative and the writing has left much to be desired in his portrayal.

With this chapter passes the last vestiges of Hikaru Kamiki. I’d say good riddance but considering how the narrative fumbled his character enough for this death to be a mercy. There’s one final mention of him by the narrative in 165 which slideshows Hikaru’s crimes to the reader in an unsatisfactory way but by now the man is finished so there’s no point touching on it besides nailing in the fact that Hikaru was—is—a murderer.

These chapters dictate just how far the series’ writing quality has fallen. I’m not going to speak about Aqua’s general stupidity, how contrived the circumstances were to deal with Hikaru, as well as the sheer lack of setup for this second confrontation in the first place. I’ve done that plenty in my chapter reviews for the series. I am instead going to talk about Hikaru as a character in general now that all is said and done as well as my thoughts on him. 

Hikaru, in these chapters, fumbled so badly as an antagonist that all the setup that was used to dredge up intrigue regarding his character amounted to nothing. In the span of a handful of chapters, he was defused as an antagonist, revealed to be the true antagonist of the series, and then unceremoniously and unsatisfyingly taken out of the series. His confrontations with Aqua was half baked and sudden given the manga’s pacing, broke suspension of disbelief multiple times—sometimes within the same chapter, even—and was just a flat mess of on all accounts that squandered all the effort that was used to set him up. As a whole, they feel anticlimactic, contrived, and feel like they were written without thought to the rest of the chapters that came before it.

All the mystique that the series established regarding Hikaru Kamiki disappeared as soon as he took his first steps into the spotlight. There was none of that mysterious figure lingering in the shadows with knowledge that the main cast were seeking all along, none of this big industry figure who Aqua had to painstakingly hunt down. Stripped away from the darkness and lies that shrouded him is just a pathetic little man desperately clinging to Ai’s silhouette who doesn’t even feel interesting to watch as he unravels right in front of the readers.

>INTERMISSION ==>

>INTERMISSION 2 ==>

[andrewkun]

Man it's been a while since I talked about my AU, does anyone remember? Probably not.

ANYWAY!! I remsde knights' armours :3

When I first made them I was quite stupid to just give them a chest thing and say "over all protected by magic" because it didn't made sense too much. Anyway they weren't really protected in the name of logic 💀

Now they have a chest thing, over the head on the eyes, at elbows and knees, boots and a shirt that is like bullet proof, and still over all protected by magic.

I know I should probably give them more armour but this is a great progression so far :3

For more information, please check this, this, this, this and this