#my hobbies are failures! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doctapuella · 4 months

Text

christ i really need irl friends because i cannot keep living like this

#i've been in SUCH a depressive funk lately and its not great #idk how to get out of it #my attachment to wrestling is extremely unhealthy too #but. i have nothign else. so.#i mean i dont want to die so theres that #but i do constantly burst into tears without any buildup and its really pissing me off #i'm just! angry and sad! all the time!#i rarely leave home!#i dont do anything!#my hobbies are failures!#my career has been dead for over a year!#every tiny little thing i do makes me want to break down #it's fine i'll be fine

2 notes · View notes

hinamie · 2 months

Text

gripping bathroom counter staring myself down in the mirror i have Got to learn not to place all my sense of inherent value into my art how can i get it through my skull that i am more than what i like and more than what i make

#hina.txt #talking to a wall basically :(#when ur hobby and ur skills are your favourite things abt yourself bc u genuinely cannot stand everything else #its not good its not healthy i cant take criticism bc all my self-worth is in my art and everything feels like a personal fucking attack #when im at all unsatisfied with what ive made it feels like im a complete failure #i feel this constant need to push myself n surpass myself bc if i stagnate i'll lose the main thing abt myself i find pride in #this is emo as fuck sorry im normal :)#bad bad mood today ghjdsghd Cold Fury into shame so fast itll give u whiplash

44 notes · View notes

featherymainffins · 3 months

Text

Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"

and I'm there just like 🧍

#like wow ok #i have no idea what i want man I'm just doing what's required of me #or more like i think i know some of the things i want but I'm actively beating them up every day and instead choosing #what i consider to be my duty #like yeah I really want to work in design and you know the dream is character design and concept art but that's unrealistic #and any design would do. but that's selfish so like lol no. psychology it is. social work if i fail at that. it's an acceptable #compromise. it's not what I want but it is what i am ok with subjecting myself to.#whenever it looks like I might fail a class at university i get really anxious but also really excited #because on one hand I'm failing to take care of my duties and responsibilities. on the other if they kicked me out nobody could #say i didn't try. i could just say that I'm too stupid. i could say that i don't have what it takes. id be a failure but not out of my #volition. they could tell me that im stupid or inferior but they couldn't label me selfish.#and then id just fuck off to work as a florist or maybe id just work in a smokes shop or anything low stakes like that #while I'd be looking for a job in design. hell i don't even need a job in that field; id love to just work a simple job where after clocking #out i could just go home and partake in my hobbies. like i wouldn't even need to have it as my field of work id be perfectly #content with posting character designs online and sometimes getting a small buck by selling pins and dolls and etc #that's definitely what i want in life. but that's fucked up and selfish and would make me a failure and then i would never #be able to even dream of earning humanity. so. doing my duty it is

16 notes · View notes

traumagenica · 6 months

Text

I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE

#all caps #vent #vent post #venting #text post #failure #fear of failure #low self worth #mental illness #<< admin tags #IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE #I NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING #I CRUSHED MY FAMILYS DREAMS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY WITH MY SELFISHNESS #I THREW AWAY RELATIONSHIPS I CHERISHED JUST BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING SAD #I WORRY EVERY DAY IS THE DAY MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME #I STILL DONT HAVE KIDS OR A HOUSE OR EVEN A FUCKING DOG #I NEVER WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL #IM TOO SICK TO HAVE HOBBIES OUTSIDE MY OWN HOME #I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN MY HOME #THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER GOOD FOR WAS MY BRAINS BUT I LOST THEM #I HAVENT CREATED ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL OR PROFOUND OR WORTHWHILE #I HAVENT MADE BANK #I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION #IVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL #I STILL CANT AFFORD TO VISIT MY NEPHEW #I STILL BARELY KNOW MY SISTER #I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE #SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY OWN HEAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

16 notes · View notes

bunnihearted · 5 months

Text

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

14 notes · View notes

arsenicflame · 23 days

Text

i will beat the depression slump... i will beat it.... i will........ (sobs)

#doing anything just feels like it takes more energy than i can imagine right now #which feels stupidddddd because all i want to do is engage in my hobby #it should not be that hard to start a task i know ill like #but it feels insurmountable #and i know what it is! im not ignorant to that! and i know i should give myself the grace about it #but i feel like i get so little done even on a good day that doing even less feels like a failure i cannot stand #and theres nothing i can do to change that feeling #nyxtalks #and i guess i keep thinking about all the other things on my list. gifs. replies. charms. write up my infinite ideas. something. anything #i have too much on my plate and i served myself #and those are just the fun things. chores. i gotta learn to drive. basic self care #and instead. i lie here not even having a fun waste of time time

6 notes · View notes

bambino1294 · 1 month

Text

not posting anything of what I’m into rn for fear the interest will leave me

#rambles #when I tell you I’ve had no hobbies for WEEKS #like okay I religiously played one game for like a week but I mean writing lmao #haven’t written anything in fucking forever and I just wanna post smth but I CANT #refuse to say I’ll do anything because I’ll manifest my failure fr #esp since the next 8 weeks at work are going to be hell on Earth because it’s the start of the academic year #and my department is going to go mental #anyway I’m trying to write… trying #I have ideas and I’m trying to keep them alive by reading a ton of fics #but I refuse to say what it is #though alas it is not something currently posted #because god forbid I finish an already published work. apparently #anyway that’s all #😗✌🏻#mayhaps I’ll brainstorm while I room 500 classes this week

3 notes · View notes

the-bot-named-r0z · 1 month

Text

''''''''''

3 notes · View notes

touchlikethesun · 9 months

Text

.

#perfect jan 1st plans #sobbing in the fetal position under the bed like a child #god today sucks #this is why i use escapism so much #i try not to for one single goddamn day and look where that got me #seriously considering disappearing #it’s been years of this #years of one crisis after another and nothing ever gets better #everyone says it gets better eventually but i’ve felt like this since i was 12 #over a decade of my life #struggling and wishing i was dead #and for what? i have nothing to show for it #no accomplishments barely any meaningful relationships no hobbies #just pain and pain and failure and embarrassment and pain #fucking hell #i’m so stupid i’m so worthless i’m so pathetic i can’t keep living with myself #vent

6 notes · View notes

alchemiclee · 4 months

Text

sometimes I think about how everyone is so obsessed with how they look and think other peoples' opinions are what determine if they are attractive or not. by that logic, i'm one of the ugliest people to ever exist because i've never, to my memory, had a random person tell me i'm attractive in any way just by looking at me. I've only had people give me pity compliments after I say something like the last sentence lmao. but I don't accept those. I don't want your pity

#lee text #random thoughts with lee #i'm doing fine without being told i'm attractive. be like me. stop complaining about looks ans calling yourself ugly fbbfnjdsnns #i only think people with good personalities are attractive and pretty si if you care so much what others think:#get a better personality LOL #(what i mean by that is work on yourself and stop trying to use physical appearance to get what you want. its weird and wrong)#((wrong in many ways like looks dont last. thats superficial and doesnt matter. beauty is subjective #YOU WILL NEVER BE ATTRACTIVE TO EVERYONE so give up and find a new hobby))#i feel like this will sound super mean to certain people who have what i call Ugly Syndrome (they think theyre ugly and blame failure on it)#but these people never seem to listen to listen to logic and feel bad about themsleves no matter what you say #even if you call them beautiful multiple times a day. so who cares at that point fhdhhdjjsj i cant help them and they annoy me #i guess thats the unempathetic side of my autism coming out. i live on an empathy sliding scale ive come to realize #lee rambles #if this does offend you maybe think about it. really think about how to fix that issue within yourself. i genuinely hope you get better #also people who use “i do it for myself” but its obvious they actually care more about how others see them. you also suck. get well soon.#I dont want anyone replying to this getting offended or well actuallying me or something. either take the tough love or go love yourself #one of the gremlins in this brain doesnt empathy. its me. the unempathetic gremlin. but i still hope you recover quickly.

2 notes · View notes

websitesdotcom · 5 months

Text

I love having hobbies this shit is so awesome . I think this is why i’m feeling unsure abt my career path

#i love every day thinking what do i want to do?#draw? write? play guitar? write music? tune utau? animate? play games? design character?#i cant imagine locking myself into One Thing Forever yk… every day i want to do different things #and ik i can have a job and also have hobbies but when i was doing my internship i was always So tired when i got home #i didnt have any creative energy #i think thats why i want to work on indie games… more likely for me to have more than 1 job to do on it #though the issue is i dont really care about the programming part of working on games… whoops !#anyways. i think with all the stuff i would love to do on a game the ideal job for me is not something that can actually sustain me #financially . so thats good 👍#what evarrrrr i dont care (lying). i started failure girl cover yesterday and its going well first verse done #speaking

2 notes · View notes

figurativepieceoftrash · 8 months

Text

So tempted to write but then I remember how terrible I feel when the inevitable poor engagement/bad stats hit and I just

Before deciding it's definitely better for my mental health not to 😭

#keep thinking my relationship w/ writing is getting better and then it nosedives again #ik it's a bad look on me but it's seriously so difficult to write when ik everything is gonna bomb 🙃#everyone tells me not to care about stats and I definitely shouldn't but my brain berates me for poor engagement regardless #I try not to compare myself to others but when fandom is so actively communal and opportunities for interaction are inherently linked to #fandom cred/displayed engagement metrics it's really tough 🙃#and then I hate myself for venting ab things bc it probably comes across as so pathetic and self pitying #and yeah it deffo is #but it's very difficult for me to be complacent with mediocrity/failure in my hobbies 🙃🙃🙃#trash talking #personal #vent #ahaha don't look pls I'm experiencing feelings

3 notes · View notes

raplinesmoon · 1 year

Text

i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality

#like I was having this convo with my mom about how I used to do so much in high school and college #and granted a lot of it was to look smart or well rounded for college and dental school apps which is I guess it’s own thing #but now that I don’t have another goal to work towards my life feels more stagnant and I guess I feel like more of a failure?#even though that’s absolutely not true I just see other people always on the grind and feel guilty for not wanting to do as much anymore #bc I’m tired and burnt out from everything #and the worst part is that it extended into my hobbies too #like I used to love baking and painting and being creative until I just set such insane standards for myself #like if something wasn’t perfect or aesthetic or worthy of being displayed as like a trophy #my effort and the process and time invested into it counts for nothing #not to be controversial but sometimes writing feels that way too #i think it’s a mental battle I have with myself but it makes me sad how many hobbies I used to have and enjoyed #that were then destroyed by burn out and perfectionism and imposter syndrome #this turned into a rant #will probably delete later #but I just had to say it somewhere #isi rambles

14 notes · View notes

lottieurl · 1 year

Text

my biggest issue is that i can easily feel a sense of accomplishment AND i fail at prioritizing tasks so i will sit in a mess having forgotten to call a doctor but feel very proud of myself for making a tv show edit

#like at least the last llke 4 years #i used to feel like a constant failure and i was so ashamed of my shortcomings all the time #but now im like well i managed to finish this fun hobby related thing so like laundry can wait and i deserve a treat #and its like well good for you and all but you very much need that doctor appointment 😭 girl PRIORITIZE

10 notes · View notes

ronin-deactivated19851026 · 10 months

Text

actual photo of me, mirrored:

but fr tho my cervical issues are so fucking annoying. they got better after i started wearing braces and fixing my overbite. at least, the nerve area around my ear doesn't get pinched in a way my whole arm gets numb anymore, that's a major progress finally i can play vidya whole day again but other than that, i can literally show this screenshot when asked "how are you doing?" in regards to my neck pain. literally shows every area on my face that is numb, inflamed, tickles, itches, contracts, and hurts all the time. it's so annoying and what i hate about it the most is how it affects my hearing and probably also contributes to the brain fog in one way or another idk high chances that my arteries got pinched too and my brain literally doesn't get enough oxygen, but i still haven't done tests to confirm that

on top of that, a dumb habit that i should cease for good is sitting on my legs up to 10 hours a day because it got to the point that i fucked them up so bad, i ended up constantly pulling them in my sleep and waking up from the pain worse than when i had my bone tissue drilled through with minimal anesthesia. like holy shit i used to be scared of dentists because i considered pain from getting my teeth drilled through the worst, but nope it's not, it's so fucking far from what a stiff body with a lifestyle like mine can go through

on the brighter side, daily yoga seems to be cancelling two decades of my dumbfuckery pretty quickly. more so, i manage to reach spots that i couldn't reach ever in my life before. this actually really excites me, because it shatters the concept of being "too late" for changing things that one was supposed to take care of earlier. i also have been approaching my whole life from a different, more philosophical perspective for last few years and every hardship i go through seems like a challenge these days.

i don't think i'm truly suffering like i used to anymore, at all. i may seem like i do, every time i rant or vent, because on a surface level it looks the same as before. but to me, a really thick, miserable layer of suffering that used to make me feel like i'm poisoned, imprisoned in this existence, locked in my body, forsaken and ultimately defeated, for long years and decades, is gone. venting doesn't make me feel worse, quite the other way round; it makes me feel like i'm embracing hardships, processing them, rather than avoiding, denying, and running away from them. funny how therapy and psychiatry was taking healing away from me this whole time, heh. instead i found it in places that psych-simps told will ruin me. but that's a story for some other day i guess.

#ronin.txt #rick and morty spoilers #ranting #i'm slowly turning into a grumpy babushka with my favorite hobby being talking about health it seems LMFAO #oh well i hope someone here reads this and feels the same way i feel when i read other people ranting about their health #that is: feeling less lonely #i always feel like i'm a waste of space and an utter failure because i generally have a lot of health issues #knowing that pretty much everyone around me has something they struggle with always made me feel less lonely #because i was often told by people ''ohh but you're so young to have X!!'' so i started to assume everyone else around me is healthy #... only now i start to fully realize that most people just suck it up and don't talk about it #in retrospect even those who mocked me for being sick or weak were actually super sick and weak themselves but also just sucked it up #and persisted with self-destructive behaviors until they fell apart earlier that ever #wild #the abled vs disabled dichotomy is really weird considering that abled =/= healthy and it's usually just a matter of time or accident #until the abled person will enter at the very least the gray area of disability #that is if they haven't entered it already way too many people push themselves to do more when they're clearly not up for the task #OK RAMBLE OVER

2 notes · View notes

m3gahet · 11 months

Text

You can't good at something without sucking first

And even when you're great things will sometimes still suck

#im tryinh to push past my fear a failure to learn new hobbies

5 notes · View notes