#my goal is to have enough money next year to be able to get myself and maybe my close friends lil flower bouquets and stuffed animals ….

[sanchoyo]

Happy Valentine’s Day 💘

I hope u guys have a great day (romantic connotations aside!) let ur friends and loved ones know u cherish them and don’t forget to love urself too today :)

[gommyworm]

:^}

[ros3ybabe]

2024 goals & resolutions 🎀

with 2024 right around the corner I figured it would be a good idea to list out some of my 2024 goals in the different areas of my life. I will have financial goals, health goals, fitness goals, academic goals, and relationship goals.

💕 Financial Goals

build my savings account to a minimum of 1000$ by the end of the year

save enough (~800$) to move into an apartment with my boyfriend

pay off my two credit cards, then use them sparingly

begin investing my money

use a monthly budget spreadsheet (loosely)

💕 Health Goals

Follow a semi anti inflammatory diet using the 80/20 principle

get closer to my goal weight range (healthy weight for my height)

only eat out on occasions, otherwise cook at home only

incorporate more whole foods into my diet

stay hydrated on a consistent level

💕 Fitness Goals

walk 7k-10k steps daily

keep a consistent weight lifting/cardio routine

begin attending pilates/workout classes

don't skip any of my yoga classes at my university

work on improving health and reaching my dream physique

💕 Academic Goals

raise my GPA closer to a 4.0

pass spring/fall classes with all B's/A's

keep a consistent study routine

turn in all assignments conplete and on time

increase class attendance as I am paying for my education and should utilize class time

💕 Relationship Goals

join one to two on campus clubs

make a friend or two within my major

take myself on solo dates

weekly dates with my boyfriend

keep in contact with all friends I make

💕 Random Goals

Read at least 3 books in their entirety throughout the year

Move into a new apartment/rented house

Continue regular posts on my tumblr

Get to N5/N4 level of Japanese proficiency

Get to conversational fluency in Spanish

Those are my goals for the next year! Given that there are 365 days in a year, I should be able to accomplish at least 85% of these!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[annieqattheperipheral]

HER STORY IS INCREDIBLE EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND LEARN FROM THIS QUEEN ⤵️

Kiana Scott, who played minor hockey system for 11 seasons, including four seasons on boys teams, gravitated to scouting from watching her brother’s games and critiquing his strengths and weaknesses.

Unaware of jobs available in hockey, she enrolled in makeup artistry college after high school, but knew her heart was in the sport.

She eventually enrolled in an online hockey general manager scouting course.

Scott joined the International Scouting Service Hockey mentorship program in 2018 and scouted for the service for two years while holding down two jobs.

“I love scouting future prospects, and the evaluation process,” she said. “I think that's kind of where my passion lies. It's just the evaluation process. And it's exciting, building a team.”

Scott spent two seasons as a full-time scout for Erie before she took a bold step and left the organization to move to Calgary and became an independent scout in June 2022.

“I just kept practicing my craft and kind of paid my own way, like, throughout the whole year,” she said. “All of the tickets to every game, all of my travel expenses, everything. I just put all my money into scouting and trying to evolve and then I ended up getting my (Avalanche) internship the next year.”

Scott had some financial help from her family for the move and she supplemented her income by working as a bartender at a Calgary casino, a job with hours that allowed her to scout games.

If all that wasn’t enough, she also enrolled in the University of Florida’s online sports management program.

“I've always had the mindset to just keep betting on myself and working hard and evolving,” she said. “I think I've taken a lot of risks to get to where I am, but I wouldn't try to change the journey for anything.”

Scott said she hopes women, women of color and people who don’t come from a so-called “traditional” hockey background will follow her on the journey.

“I grew up playing hockey, but I didn’t play professional hockey, I didn’t go to college or university for hockey,” she said. “I just had a passion for it. I love scouting. I worked at it, and I continue working at my craft.

“People that don’t necessarily come from the traditional background, I hope they see themselves in me and believe that they can put their minds to it and get it done.”

-----

The 2024 NHL Draft was as eventful for Kiana Scott as it was for the players who were selected in the seven-round event at Sphere in Las Vegas last month.

The 25-year-old Barrie, Ontario, native signed with the Colorado Avalanche at the draft to become a full-time amateur scout, fulfilling a goal she has had since she was a teenager.

“This is something that I've worked really hard for my whole career to be able to sign my first NHL contract,” Scott said. “I was elated. The Avs have been really good for me the past year, and I’m excited to keep building with them.”

Scott joined the Avalanche after working as an intern for the organization.

Colorado general manager Chris MacFarland said he and executive director of hockey operations Suzanne Borchert “were impressed with her work ethic and her passion."

MacFarland said: “Kiana was on our radar when she was scouting in major junior circuits ... and it worked that a few years ago we had an internship opportunity for her.

“She did a good job in that role and was an integral part of our amateur scouting department. We’re excited to see her contributions moving forward in her full-time role as an amateur scout.”

-----

Scott made history when she became the first woman scout in the Ontario Hockey League with Erie in March 2020.

She was among the initial of a wave of women who were hired in recent years as scouts at all levels of hockey, including Cammi Granato (Seattle Kraken), Blake Bolden (Los Angeles Kings), Krissy Wendell-Pohl (Pittsburgh Penguins), Meghan Hunter (Chicago Blackhawks), Gabriella Switaj (Anaheim Ducks) and Brigette Lacquette (Chicago Blackhawks).

Granato moved on from Seattle to become an assistant general manager for the Vancouver Canucks on Feb. 10, 2022, and Hunter was promoted to assistant GM by the Blackhawks on June 22, 2022.

“When I first started scouting, I didn’t know of any women in the industry already,” she said. “Cammi Granato got her job with the NHL a year after I started scouting. That’s when I kind of knew it was possible. But I never had anyone to look up to. I just had this dream and the passion for hockey. I knew that I had to the talent and skill to do it, and to try to keep building on them.

"That’s what I’ve always gone off on -- keep evolving, never give up on what you love.”

[lesbianashleywilliams]

So those of you who have been following me may have noticed that I all but disappeared for about three months...well, that's because I've been planning to go to Japanese language school, and the wheels have really begun to start turning!!!!!!

I have been given the opportunity of my lifetime to be able to attend a Japanese language course at the International Study Institute in Tokyo's Shinjuku Ward. The course runs for a year, with the opportunity to extend it to two years, if my grades and money are sound [insert sound of children cheering here].

Being able to study Japanese locally and long-term has been a life goal of mine since I was fourteen. Though I'll probably never be able to fulfill my teenage dream of being an interpreter/translator for expats, this feels like the next best thing. Due to suffering from several comorbid chronic conditions that have majorly altered my life, most notably the beast known as systemic lupus erythematosus, I will probably never be able to seize another chance like this ever again. I won't be going in as a total novice, as I was able to take a year's worth of 1000-level Japanese language courses in college…before I had to drop out…… Since then I've been self-studying and using language exchange apps for practice, but nothing will beat the experience of using it in the day-to-day.

At this point in time (January 2024), my first six months of tuition have already been paid for. I am currently in a quiet waiting period while I wait to get to the next steps of the Certificate of Eligibility/Student Visa process. Before that, though, I need to secure my flight and housing. For the sake of my health, safety, privacy and comfort, a sharehouse will not be an option; I will have to seek a private apartment. I am here today to request assistance with the aforementioned flight and initial housing costs. It's still too early to commit to either of those, but:

The average cost of flexible one-way flights from where I am to either of the two Tokyo metro airports (Haneda and Narita) is running around $1200

I am doing some preliminary apartment scouting and am hoping not to exceed $800 per month (I will be traveling with suitcases and will need to properly store them). The apartments I am looking at do not require a security deposit or key money, but will probably come with a guarantor fee.

Now because I'm not going over there through one of the more common avenues - through a university or a job - I have to do it myself. Real life has meant that I've had to dig into my bank balance a bit, and after paying for the first six months I'm a little under the 2 million yen (~$14k) threshold that Immigration likes to see for a year's study. I'm lucky enough in that I will at least have a regular source of (unearned) income, as well as a financial sponsor; it's just the bank balance, flight, and accommodation that are hanging me up. Right now I am setting the initial goal at $3000, but I expect to move those goalposts at least once. Any extra will go towards a flight home for the Christmas holidays in December. After that, it'll go towards paying down my credit cards as much as I can prior to leaving the United States.

I can provide my conditional letter of acceptance from ISI, as well as the school invoice and receipt of the bank transfer for the first six months of tuition upon request (identifying information redacted, of course).

Because there's still a couple of months until I'm set to fly out I put together a GoFundMe (now that's a name I haven't used in a while) to idly collect whatever help I can. At the very least I just need this post to circulate enough to eventually cast a wider net outside of Tungle.hell.

GoFundMe

If you can't use GFM, V3nmo and P4ypal are also options:

V3nmo: @/venus3palette

P4ypal: @/fantasytheater

Again: I'm not in that much of a hurry, and the situation isn't dire! Thank you for combing my wall of text!!!!

[kawaiipony-productions]

IMPORTANT: My Situation and GoFundMe

Hola y hello, to those who don't know who I am. I'm Itzel aka Kawaiipony Productions. I'm a 17 y/o (mostly Mlp) YouTuber. I'm non-binary asexual biromantic (he/she/they) and I'm also an AuDHDer. And well, I need help. I live in an emotionally abusive household and my own “father” is my abuser. And while my mom isn’t as bad and my relationship with her has gotten better in recent years, she has still caused harm even by letting a lot of this slide.

Around February 18th, 2022, my parents snooped on my phone and found out I was trans. They had taken my phone, tablet, and Nintendo Switch. Which I wouldn’t mind too much if I didn’t purchase majority of these. I bought my tablet myself sometime around 2018 to 2019 with my own money. And I split half and half with one of my sisters to buy our Switch. That is hundreds not only stolen, but also destroyed as they’ve broken my tablet (which was around $300-350 when I bought it) previous instances it’s been taken from me. And I have not received any of these devices since.

Not only that, but my abuser in the past years of me dealing with my abusive relationship with him, h has threatened not only kick me out of the house, but also send me to the military without my consent or send me to my family in México to “straighten me out.” Not to mention his constant ableism towards me. From being anti-vax (a very ableist rhetoric towards autistics), forcing me to mask, etc.

This has led to me secretly doing my job as a part-time YouTuber for the past 2 years now, especially since I was forced to delete the previous Kawaiipony Productions channel cause of him. I have a GFM to help fund me for being able to get proper equipment again for doing my work. Not only that, but also possibly for things I plan to get once I turn 18 such as starting to get therapy, medication for my ADHD, etc. And now that I started dating my girlfriend, Vikki, I want to start saving some of this money to possibly meet her irl sometime next year.

I am taking a few small paid jobs for work right now, but it’s still not enough for my situation. So, you may ask, how can I help? Well, if you have the money, donate to my GFM. My GFM goal is $2,000 and I still need around $1,200 for reaching my goal. I also have adoptables for sale right now for $25 each. If you can’t financially help, then you can share not only my GFM, but my work. From my artwork, my videos on YouTube, and projects I’ve been a part of as a voice actor, animator, and/or artist. Any of this helps support me through everything going on in my life. I could really use it right now. So any and all support helps me out. Thank you all for reading this thread, I appreciate any and all support I need!!!

-Itzel C.D. aka Kawaiipony Productions

Ways to support me!!!

My YouTube channel:

My GoFundMe:

Current Adoptables for Sale:

[gwenaelle-art]

Hey, I don't like being in this position of begging but I am desperate. For the last 5 years I have been living with physical, mental, verbal and financial abuse from the family I live with. I've been doing my absolute best to get through it all in the hopes of seeing my girlfriends happy and living a peaceful life with some modicum of control for myself. My entire life is trapped inside one single bedroom, one of my girlfriends has been subjected to this same treatment which only makes me feel all the worse with it being my family at fault. Transphobic behaviour also prevents my ability to seek HRT and the financial manipulation only makes everything else all the harder.

My mother manipulates police and housing officials to nullify every legal action I take against this behaviour, I don't understand how but it is apparently possible. She has been lying to the landlord to make them believe she still lives here and because she earns a good wage, it makes rent here all the higher. She refuses to shift utility bills into my (or anybody who lives here) name and so the bills go without government grants and cannot be negotiated without her direct input. We're looking at having our utilities cut within the next 30 days as a result of this.

I have been forced to take in housemates I do not agree with. I have had several stitches from physical abuse, my lip was punctured by my tooth, my nose has been broken and several black eyes. My right shoulder has been damaged and scans show the socket is starting to wear down and nerves are being harmed by the dislocation. I have had several teeth broken and the dental work has been very extensive from this.

These housemates raid my room for whatever they want any time I am out. Cutlery, clothes, electronics, food, drinks, money, furniture, dishes, etc etc.. the list goes on for much too long. To make matters only worse, whenever these housemates *do* pay part of the rent, they only pay 1/2 of what is due.

My housemates aren't listed as tenants of the house but any action I take to my advantage on that, is nullified either by claims that there is not enough proof they live here or my mother getting it ignored. The damage they and their pets have caused to this house is extensive and with only myself and my girlfriend as present tenants, we are losing credit with our housing agency, we may never be able to find a house through them again and they are considering removing us at this time but there is no clear timeline on that.

Police responses to all of these events have been abysmal and I don't have anywhere else to turn than to just get away as fast as I can. I lack the ability to make enough money on my own to outpace the bills and rent but I want to open a savings pool that I will not touch until I can move away.

The plan right now is to keep any money I make extra aside as solely a moving out fund that I will not touch unless it is to go toward a new home. I will move out of this house and since my mother will not remove her name from the, now overdue bills, it will not be my problem. I will be entirely leaving my family behind, restraining orders will be involved and I will finally have the agency over my life I need.

Anyway, all of this is just for me to say, I have a donation pool available through Ko-fi and I do commissions too, so feel free to grab one if you want too. A few examples of my own work are below

https://ko-fi.com/gwenaellemun/goal?g=0

[bbluesrreality]

I’ve posted a really hot clip of me jerking strap to twitter that I can’t stop watching over and over again and thinking about hypno and editing and my creation process and dance and the person in the mirror and self worship and rumination and how to be a better person. I spend a lot of time staring at my own face and body and perhaps it’s a defense mechanism to eroticize myself to myself, or maybe my ability to do so is why I decided to do what I do, but watching my own body orgasm over and over again on Premiere to monitor sound levels and color grade and make sure the pacing is good and crop to what I want to audience to focus on or change angle at the right time to maintain visual variety, makes me wet in my seat.

Being able to pay my bills with ass money has done a lot of my self esteem, genuinely, but it kind of makes me fear the day something goes wrong. Something changes about me that I didn’t know what was made me desirable enough to be paid in the public’s eyes… the day I share too human an experience, or become disabled in a way that effects my ability to work. (more than my moderate depression and anxiety and adhd effect it already) will be a very difficult one on my ego. I will continue to cultivate other skills and I feel lucky to feel like I have other options in life if I decide this is no longer fulfilling me at some point. I feel like I will add on other jobs or skills to what I’m doing now, most likely, rather than change up completely, but that could become a lot very quickly and I don’t want to spread myself too thin, and I’m not meeting my personal goals for media production in general at the moment, so I’m going to continue to focused on getting organized and regular with my life and establishing internal routine that feels healthy and natural, outside of the rule of the academic calendar. I’m feeling really unstructured in general.

New tangent: I’m excited to explore using lifestyle BDSM with my partner to help me fulfill my own goals. He’s got a pretty self-controlled mindset with his own goals but he… he has a soft spot for me and it makes it hard for him to be strict. I’m a little bit of a brat and am less on top of my own self control with work than I want to be, but the moments he’s tried a sternness with me, especially with me putting off streaming, it’s made me want to do it less. I usually enjoy streaming, but the worry of how it will feel IF it ends up being a bad night, and how long the setup takes me in my bedroom-as-studio-and-camroom organization, keeps me from starting enthusiastically pretty frequently. Aside from that there’s a sitcom-like cast of family and loved ones in my life and I have various, sometimes unpredictably time intensive responsibilities to them that can drain me before I’m able to do the actively money-making part of my job, streaming or filming.

I keep rearranging my room to try to minimize the amount or room I have to clean to stream, that would be a big help, but I hate the idea of putting the desk in the middle of the room kinda and chopping it up. I need space to dance close up, and far away, and sit on the big leather office chair, or sit in the big plush loveseat, or sit myself on the ground and stretch all sexy and stuff.

He’s really my biggest fan. He got me a lovense mini fucking machine to help motivate me and also bring in that BANK and I’m so pumped to unveil it on stream. We do monthly check ins and I think this next one, we’re going to sort of reflect on and rewire our whole system- look at what was working, what was not, adjust and set new goals, and I want to learn more about how lifestyle stuff could help transfer his ability to abide by a more rigid structure to me through sexual rewards and motivation. I mean my job makes me horny anyway, we did a week where he hid my vibrator until I posted on Reddit each day and it worked, but he’s not around to do that all the time. Ohhh maybe a lockbox…

It can work. I know it can work. This year I intend to revolutionize the way I use BDSM as self-help and focus in on what I want from it. It’s really good for conditioning new desired behaviors, it seems like, and I want to be upswing these tools more frequently and with more intention. And to learn to articulate and share those methods with others. Kink is a powerful tool that is stigmatized in part by its ability to enact a great amount of harm, but, kinks is fun and beautiful and cathartic and has huge capacity to be constructive for the lives of a huge number of people. I feel so profoundly thankful that I get to be a person who is afforded the time to think about sex and psych and sociology so much. Adults allowing themselves to play, questioning deeply what it is they want in life and what experiences they derive pleasure from, and forming intricate, intimate social bonds, is an opportunity we all should be afforded and I am happy to be a hot person encouraging more people to be hot and chill and comfortable with their desires and seek satisfaction and connection that makes us all better, more empathetic, more productive, whatever, together.

Happy 2025!

[queenofthearchipelago]

With New Years being a few days from now, I'm thinking back to who and where I was a year ago. It's been such a hard year. I can't go back to what life was before.

But tonight I'm sitting in my safe apartment surrounded by my new cute things. And it's winter right now but it was warm today and so my window is open. I can smell the fresh air and hear the birds chirping and I washed my bedding in the laundry earlier today. I swept my floors. Everything smells nice and it's clean and it's mine and I'm safe.

And I realize not just how far I've come but how much farther I have yet to go. How much farther I CAN go now. Next year I get to make enough money to put art on my walls. I get to experiment with cooking and become the Good At Cooking and Baking friend. I get to keep reading my books and watching my shows and I get to show up to new places and potentially make new friends while I'm there. I get to finally have a mimosa and see if I like it.

I can keep towards my goals of being able to have my own piano in the corner and get a cat. I get to keep opening my windows on warm days and not care if anyone else would think it's too hot or cold or humid.

I get to keep buying new clothes for the season, in colors I WANT to wear. I get to buy a sexy nightgown to sleep in, not because there's anyone to impress, but because I want to. No one is here to judge me about it.

I get to finally just BE the lady I want to be. I get to experiment and see what feels right. I get to find out that, no, I don't like garlic AND onion powder in my food, actually. I think it's overwhelming to put them both in the same dish.

I get to be that one lady who is always dressed slightly too fancy for the occasion. I get to be the lady with the flower wreath on her front door. I get to be the lady who has the time to paint her nails with the good polish. I get to be a person with a home that, when people walk in, they're like, oh yeah. This makes sense. This is Her.

I spent a lot of this year mourning everything I lost. Because at one point, I lost everything. But now I think I see something else. Now I get to have everything I want. What's lost is lost, yes. I must grieve that which I was forced to leave behind. But LOOK at what I've built in such a short time after losing it.

I have a home. And the potential for a new family. I have prospects for a brighter future. And so many adventures. I'm back being the protagonist of my own life.

This clarity won't last forever, I know. The fogs of depression will roll over me again someday. Something will happen and I'll wonder what the point of it all is. But now when that happens, I get to come home to right here. I get to forevermore return to this shrine I built to myself. A place to be comfortable and safe and happy for as long as possible.

2025 is gonna be the year I keep building it. I'm gonna keep going. I can't wait to find out what my life will look like a year from now. What art will I choose? What friends will I make? What cat will I pick?

But right now I'm also just excited to be in the Right Now. One day I'll look back on this version of me I am right now and I'll remember all the grief and how hard it was. But I'll also admire the excitement of building my own life for the first time. Decorating it. Loving the feeling of being alive for the first time in years, and in some ways, for the first time in my life. I'm gonna be so proud of this life I'm gonna build.

I know you can't buy happiness, but I wonder if it's true that you can build it. I'm gonna find out.

@queerfables @per4mancecheck Thank you two for being a couple of my biggest cheerleaders, and for getting me through some of the rockiest waters. Love you both so SO much and I hope you both have a wonderful new years. (Sorry, Katie, I mean Doomsday lol)

[wipnexus]

So... I may have had a lil bit of a crisis today...

I've wanted to teach myself how to animate ever since I was a kid, and since I'm unable to work because of serious physical and psycological health issues, I thought now was gonna be the perfect time.

It took me almost a month to write the script for my first animated youtube video and create the storyboard for the animation as well as the thumbnail, and it took me two days of recording and mixing the audio before I was ready to animate in Krita-- cuz that was my only option.

I spent several hours being confused and frustrated with the buttons before I finally made progress and made maybe around 30 seconds of (sketchy) animation...

Then it crashed.

And again.

It kept crashing every time I tried to draw a single line.

Upset by the fact that hours of hard work were for nothing, I tried to get adobe animate, which was unsuccessful thanks to their software being impossible to even download now.

So my only option that won't crash is clip studio paint ex.

I have pro-- which means I can only create 1 second long animations.

To upgrade, it's like £150. WAY too much for me to be able to afford within at least the next year.

Luckily, my birthday is in like 2 weeks, but I have very little faith that my family will even get me anything this year, let alone send me money so I can chase a dream.

So I have a Ko-Fi goal, and there's no pressure to help, but regardless of whether or not I get phenomenally lucky enough to recieve the money for it for my birthday, anyone who decides to donate will be credited in every video I make for AT LEAST the remainder of 2024 because I can't imagine me being able to afford this without help for the forseeable future.

[dezzurtur]

My Story (please read)

Hi! If you don't know me, I'm Dez. I'm an artist here on the big ol' internet in need of some help. I have about 5 months until I become effectively homeless. Now, you might be thinking, five months is a lot of time! And it is, however my situation is a bit unique. I am currently in an abusive household. I'm freshly 19 (my birthday was 2 days ago!) and I want to leave, escape even. I'm currently in college, but I am not allowed to live on campus. I am being forced to stay home and drive two hours to my campus and back every day. I am also absolutely not allowed to get a "real" job. Should I get a job, I would immediately be cut off and I would no longer have a car, as it is not in my name. I'm wanting to transfer schools next year for a multitude of reasons: I would be moving into an apartment with friends close to campus, fully freeing myself from my abusive household, I would be able to live with my girlfriend of many years, and the tuition is cheaper than the alternative... but I will have all my finances completely cut off once that happens. It is my only way out. But not just for me. My girlfriend also needs help.

My girlfriend, Michi, is in a much worse situation. Her household is abusive and she has absolutely zero control over her money, her car, or her life. Her life has been threatened on multiple occasions. She is also turning 19 soon. We are separated by over 1000 miles of distance, so I cannot directly help her, but I plan to change that. Should I make enough money through commissioning my art and my patreon, I will be able to get my own car (a cheap one of course, probably heavily used and on it's last legs, but a car that runs is all I need), go drive the 1000+ miles to go and get her, and pay rent for the apartment once we move in. Then we will have the freedom to get jobs and our education.

So if you can, and you would like to, please consider commissioning me or subbing to my patreon. I may also make a fundraiser for this, I'll likely need 8k-10k to pull this off. Please share this as well, I need all the help i can get!

tl;dr: Me and my long distance girlfriend of many years are both living in abusive households and are planning to get out in the next 5 months. Please commission me or sub to my patreon for exclusive content so I can raise enough to give us better lives.

And note: I am a furry artist, but I will draw just about anything if it means getting closer to my goal.

Thank you so much for reading, it means so much!

Please share!

[petra-creat0r]

Annual Update 2025

Hooooo boy. Howdy Creative Creators. Okay, as of writing this, I just got back from a 10 day trip from Washington, and it's December 30th, of 2024. Just a couples days until 2025, so I guess let's try to review.

Most of the time, I try to make these annual updates as a sort of promise of what I'm gonna try to get done in the upcoming year (or at least what I WANT to try and get done) but... Well, looking at the state of my comic, I think it best to just, stop trying to promise anything. Between college and the huge shake up that's about to happen in my life in the upcoming months... Yeah, I don't quite see it getting done soon. I had like, one bought of wanting to work on it sometime in the beginning of December and then had to work on Christmas stuff or preparing for the trip.

So, instead, I'm gonna try and outline some personal goals for myself here. I can already tell that 2025 is gonna be a turbulent year so, I might as well have some sort of list to keep me on track. I'm gonna leave them under the cut, but if anyone wants to read them be my guest.

Hope you have a Happy New Years, Creative Creators, and I'll see you in 2025.

Graduate college with my associates degree.

Personally, I would like to go for a bachelor's but... I think that might have to wait for a while. With the change that's happening, my main source of tuition payment (my dad) will be in another state and even if I'll still qualify for in-state tuition... Stuff's gonna be hectic enough. I'm already close to being done with the associates for my current major, and could already apply for one for my previous major so, best I try and wrap that up as soon as possible. I'd already have to at some point anyways to make it easier to transfer colleges later on.

2. Get a job

Something I've been struggling with for... a while. I think I should be able to get one I can hold for longer once I'm out of college, but even before then, I really need to find something. I need a job history, I need an income, the sooner I can get to be more independent and able to pay for my own life, the better. And sadly my fanbase is a bunch of broke teens/young adults, so commissions will get me no where.

3. Make progress/finish on my Deltarune Chapter takes before Chapters 3 and 4 come out sometime this year.

We (or at least those of us active in the fandom) all know that the next chapters are coming out 2025, it's unclear WHEN in 2025 they're coming out, but Toby has confirmed they're 100000000000% coming out this year. And while I am beyond excited to FINALLY get to play through more of this story... I also want to get my personal chapter takes done before then. At the least figure out more of the characters and locations for both my chapter 3 and 4 takes before all my ideas get influenced by the canon. Bitsy, Elymas, and Veratus will always exist in my AU, mostly as it's an AU that I know is diverging from the canon, but I'm worried about aspects of my take inevitably getting influenced by the canon when it comes out. Call me silly if you want, but I want to get my takes down before the actual chapters release.

4. Enjoy and play Deltarune Chapters 3 and 4 once they release

That being said with my own takes, like I said I am excited to get to play the next chapters once they do release. I'm going to make sure I save a bit of money specifically to be able to purchase the game once it comes out. I will likely stream in on my Discord Server once I'm able to buy and play it.

5. Continue Fool's Fate

I still need to finish the Chapter 2 roleplay of Fool's Fate, and come up with more characters. I think I sorta got caught up in stuff, but at least Fool's Fate I don't have to continue or finish before the next chapters of Deltarune proper come out since it's story won't be influenced directly by Chapters 3 and 4's release.

6. Hopefully finally be able to continue AtDFF

It should be easier once I've graduated college, but I DO want to get back to work on the comic. At this point I've redesigned and reworked things AGAIN for AtDFF, and I don't think that AYC is going to be continuing. At least not in the same form it was prior. Like I mentioned, I did have a bought of comic inspiration and motivation early December, before getting caught up in other stuff, so it's not that I don't want to work on it, it's just always been a matter of time and motivation. Ideally, I'd be able to get to point where I can consistently work on it there's just... so many factors from backgrounds to scripts, thumbnails, boards, actually drawing the thing, other stuff in my life. I technically have a small team to work on this with me (mainly my girlfriend and another friend), but I would like to, I don't know, pay them? For their work and help with it? That get's difficult when again, my fanbase is as broke as I am.

7. Get to work on my other projects

Dragon Riders, POW-R, my Fakemon region, Kinder Eyes, etc. I have no doubt I'll develop them more a bit over the upcoming year, (mostly as my hyper fixations shift), but I'd also like to be able to post about them. Preferably get asks about them (whenever I decide to turn back on asks)? Undertale/Deltarune might be my main thing, but's it's never been my ONLY thing, and I want to be able to share my other projects more as well.

[apricotbuncakes]

Happy pride month!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

This pride month, I kindly request that you help me (a disabled queer trans guy) get closer to my goal of $6,000 for top surgery. (Yes it has decreased from 10,000 to 6,000. More Info under the cut). Currently the GoFundMe has raised $340/$6,000 of what I need. While I am saving my own money and pouring whatever I can spare into my savings, there's no way I can reasonably save enough on my own to reach my goal of getting top surgery before the end of next year.

If you can, even just a few dollars is extremely helpful, and you can donate here: https://gofund.me/60a8148b

Some more nuanced information is below the cut.

My insurance (my state's Medicaid) is required to offer gender affirming surgery and cannot discriminate against myself or anyone else for being trans. Unfortunately the system in which it takes to get approved for coverage is extremely difficult. I wouldn't be able to even qualify until after my birthday next year (you have to be 21 to qualify). And the other steps can be just as tiresome. There's a lot that goes into it, and it's a lot that would be unreasonable for me to get done even if I started now. Not to mention the fact that after reaching out to several doctors in network, only one responded to me (and my phone call with him was anything but kind).

Out of pocket with a plastic surgeon is my best bet, and the safer one too. Currently the ONLY thing preventing me from getting top surgery is my finances, hence the GoFundMe. I found and consulted with a surgeon in my area who is willing to perform the surgery, and a therapist willing to provide a letter stating that basically I'm of sound mind and body to be making this decision.

Truthfully I've needed top surgery since I was 14. Even if I wasn't trans, my breasts cause me significant physical difficulties including mobility and breathing (which, when paired with a physical disability that causes chronic pain makes everything incredibly hard). The dysphoria is a complete other story. I've been binding since 14 too, and considering I'm 20 now, is a pretty long time. Binding for so many years has it's own consequences, especially when you are someone of my size. Needless to say, this is not only medically necessary from a gender affirmation standpoint, but also a quality of life one. It is absolutely a need.

It's also necessary because of my mental health. I made a post a short while ago that admitted to me being... not the best mentally. It wasn't a break down of sorts, but it was an honest reaction to my situation that I needed to get out of my system. The biggest contribution to this not-quite-breakdown is the fact that I can't afford top surgery. That's a hard concept for some people to grasp, that lack of access to this surgery could make me incredibly depressed. So many people still see it as elective or cosmetic. It's a hard feeling to explain, but it is the truth. It's not meant to be a guilt trip or to make you feel pity. It's my reality, and frankly the reality of many other trans people in similar situations.

The estimated cost for the surgery and all its required components is $10,000 (of which my joyfriend has so graciously offered to cover $4,000 of that). That leaves me with needing to cover 6,000 on my own*.

Being physically disabled makes working long hours hard. I get wiped out after a few hours at my normal job, and my summer job at a camp this year is sure to leave me with more exhaustion than normal as my days are significantly longer. (It's sad to say but I am working here mainly for the money, and the super awesome and supportive community I've found is a really awesome bonus. While I anticipate getting more saving money because of the pay increase at this summer position, it's not going to be enough to cover top surgery by itself, and come the end of this position and summer, I'll be back at my original place of work with only a one dollar increase in promotion pay. ($12/hr). I'll likely be making even less money than I normally do because I'm starting school again.

I'm just now realizing how busy my life is going to be after typing all this out...

There are some questions I've had people ask me, but most of them have been answered in other posts of mine that are pretty easy to search up on your own through my blog. That said, if you have any questions about anything regarding this, please ask through the ask box or DM me. I don't mind answering good faith questions, and will happily repeat myself to make it easier for info to find.

*With the help of the GoFundMe.

[ichtios]

20.10.2023

guys I made very hard decision and closed almost all of my market transaction except one. It means loosing tons of money and it is hard to accept it, but it was taking my life away from me, as I was always stressing about it and loosing eating and sleeping. I left one transaction that is suppose to go up next week when google, meta, and something else will publish quarter earning reports. Also it is so low now that it shouldn’t go much lower, rather only up. I left it so I can restore some more money and give it back to my mom. I borrowed lots of money from her in hope of rescuing my funds (I had enough of my own money but it wasn’t immediately available because it is on some funds etc). But I just don’t want to fight anymore. I want to live normally. I talked about it on therapy yeasterday and I felt convinced.

i was never interested in investing in the market. This company called me hundred times and I finally broke, you know, ok I will see how it works, just leave me alone. I had money that I received after my dad died. It was so much that after I bought some stuff for home, I had no need for the rest of them so I thought it might be not so bad idea to invest it. You know, my intentions were good, I like to help people, I thought when I have more money I will be able to do more good. Sounds reasonable. BOY WAS I WRONG. Of course at the beginning everything went great. Then, first mistakes, and problems, also bad advice from that company advisor, and I was spiraling down for almost a year. The truth is that I was mostly deceived and manipulated by this investment company. I can’t really blame myself for all of it. I experienced so much stress and trauma during that year because of it that it is unbelievable. I want it to be over whatever it costs me.

i’m planning to close that last transaction next week when it reaches the level that I hope for. It is realistic goal. I think so. I hope it is a good decision. I was neglecting everything. I want to stop staring at charts and numbers all the time and get back to real work. Thank God all that I do as my job, are good things that bring joy and are helping people. I’m so glad for it now. If I worked in a company that is casually making people loose their money I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the eyes. I really appreciate my work now even if it doesn’t bring me huge wealth. I realize now how much more important is what you do than what you have on your account.

It’s ok, I still have enough money that in case, lets say, I need to replace my car, I will be able to do it. I also earn a good money and I’m self employed. I don’t have to worry that I don’t have a money for living. It is more of a psychological effect. I need to process it. It is not easy. But I think it will be easier to get over that loss than live in constant stress and tension night and day. Writing about it here is a part of processing for me. i will update next week when it is - lets really root for it - finally over. Also it would be nice if Euro go up a little bit, as it is very low now - I would also get some more money when changing to Polish Zloty.

[vivian-the-fae]

TW: vents below the cut

Idk what to anymore. Well that's a lie, I know exactly what I should do, I should ask my parents for help, maybe even get therapy, but I don't, because I've lied to them for so long, I don't think I can take it, opening the curtains for them.

I just live moment to moment at this point. I have no bigger goal as motivation to live, I keep living because of my friends and family, who I love so fucking much.

I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this. Changes need to happen but I am not structured, organized, or motivated enough to make them happen. I mean I try, I really do, but nothing really sticks.

Am I going crazy? Would I even know? Am I right back where I fucking started? I'm kinda starting to hate myself, my physical appearance, the way I act, how I keep lying to basically everyone all of the time.

On top of all this, there is no real reason for this, I live in a politically stable country (at least for the next year or two) I have an amazing family, I love my friends, I'm smart, I've never had to worry about money or safety, I'll most likely get a good job as soon as i get out of university, and I'll probably be able to afford to buy a house before I'm 35. I know how lucky I am to have all these things, not everyone does, but yet I'm not okay, and because there's no discernible reason, it's harder to stop these feelings.

The only think i can think of is being a burnt out gifted kid. I might still have some of that drive to prove myself, so that i can prove that I'm worthy of love and attention. Which is probably where my attachment issues stem from.

In conclusion: I'm fucked up in the head, and not in a good way, and it's driving me insane trying to find the root of all of these issues.

[rurutopia]

17 sept. 24. 01:11 she has been conceived

she (another one of a billion tumblr accounts i've made). conceived (me entering another phase which i will actually try to maintain - let's see if this lasts like a week max).

i just wanted a place to put all my thoughts in. buying empty notebooks (trying to make them into journals but the whole putting emotions onto paper healing universal experience feels too erratic girl interrupted syndrome). asking my friends if they wanted to buy stupid tiktok shop microphones and start a podcast with me emergency intercom-esque (they hate me). running twitter accounts that had blown up at some point since the phase i was in truly appealed to the masses but also attracted a bunch of freaks. but that also made me realise that at least i was good at putting words into the internet - could have been better but also could have been worse. although i can't really think of anything worse than the internet.

topic of conversation. i realised how AWFUL i am at adulting. adulting being spending money. of course i have to have that trait of buying an iced vanilla matcha if i pass by a cafe. or buying that 'vintage 2007' shoulder bag from shoreditch that literally had parts of it ripped off only a couple days after i got it (£35 down the drain - FUCK you). made me realise i need to get a job and get my money up but actually tell me why i need generations of experience to get a job as literally a barista or a fuck ass sales assistant like i literally might as well sell an arm and a leg to basically survive.

that leads onto my aims for uni and what i want to be like this year. if it wasn't clear enough, i want to be more responsible with money. less comfort takeaways. stand on business when kristin takes me shopping. maybe apple pay is truly the root of evil. i also want to be more open to things now that i live significantly closer. go to the gym more often, spend more time outside. even if i have fuck all to do, try to occupy myself as often and not let myself get into a bedrotting state before at least 6pm. also just lock in because being broke this summer truly woke me up about how much i never want to be a bum and that i do have to work hard to be able to have the lifestyle that i want. also the fact that when i was crying to my mum about how i felt irresponsible with money, she shaded me saying that at least she 'doesn't have money problems unlike someone'. but she also had a point that crying doesn't really do shit. so that's another goal - less crying, more actually doing something about it and changing my ways.

obviously there would be way more interesting shit for me to write about but for now she has been conceived. i've become a mother to another stupid little thing so i have a stupid little excuse to refer to it as my daughter.

until next time

ps: i think the red hair dye is seeping into my brain i feel violently #sick now