#my goal is to have enough money next year to be able to get myself and maybe my close friends lil flower bouquets and stuffed animals ….

[sanchoyo]

Happy Valentine’s Day 💘

I hope u guys have a great day (romantic connotations aside!) let ur friends and loved ones know u cherish them and don’t forget to love urself too today :)

[gommyworm]

:^}

[ros3ybabe]

2024 goals & resolutions 🎀

with 2024 right around the corner I figured it would be a good idea to list out some of my 2024 goals in the different areas of my life. I will have financial goals, health goals, fitness goals, academic goals, and relationship goals.

💕 Financial Goals

build my savings account to a minimum of 1000$ by the end of the year

save enough (~800$) to move into an apartment with my boyfriend

pay off my two credit cards, then use them sparingly

begin investing my money

use a monthly budget spreadsheet (loosely)

💕 Health Goals

Follow a semi anti inflammatory diet using the 80/20 principle

get closer to my goal weight range (healthy weight for my height)

only eat out on occasions, otherwise cook at home only

incorporate more whole foods into my diet

stay hydrated on a consistent level

💕 Fitness Goals

walk 7k-10k steps daily

keep a consistent weight lifting/cardio routine

begin attending pilates/workout classes

don't skip any of my yoga classes at my university

work on improving health and reaching my dream physique

💕 Academic Goals

raise my GPA closer to a 4.0

pass spring/fall classes with all B's/A's

keep a consistent study routine

turn in all assignments conplete and on time

increase class attendance as I am paying for my education and should utilize class time

💕 Relationship Goals

join one to two on campus clubs

make a friend or two within my major

take myself on solo dates

weekly dates with my boyfriend

keep in contact with all friends I make

💕 Random Goals

Read at least 3 books in their entirety throughout the year

Move into a new apartment/rented house

Continue regular posts on my tumblr

Get to N5/N4 level of Japanese proficiency

Get to conversational fluency in Spanish

Those are my goals for the next year! Given that there are 365 days in a year, I should be able to accomplish at least 85% of these!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[cyberbun]

edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WE GOT TO THE GOAL IN LESS THAN A DAY!!! I'M SO GRATEFUL TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED!!! Locking reblogs to prevent it from spreading further.

Urgent: Transgender Asylum Seeker Needs Housing Assistance

My name is Charlotte; a lot of you know me for my presence online and many will know I am a transgender international student and asylum seeker in the US, currently set to graduate from my Master's degree in a month (hooray!), which means I'll need to move out of my university dormitories.

Unfortunately, both thanks to costs of living and the low, low salary graduate employees get, my funds have been left completely drained by this point. I have been living paycheck-to-paycheck for the past four years, and I am at a point where I don't have the ability to house and feed myself any further. I've let my physical and mental health deteriorate due to the conditions I've been living under. Throughout all of this, I've lived in university housing due to not making enough as a graduate assistant to afford anything else, staying in whatever the cheapest option is each term. What's worse, this summer, I took a full time job at my university that was not only physically grueling but also pulled the rug from under me two months before the end of the summer and cut my hours drastically, forcing me to look for help with my bills and rely on my credit card for a while. Thanks to that, I was able to remain in my current dorm housing situation, barely making rent and food every month.

This, however, leaves me in a precarious position, as I am soon to graduate, meaning I will be forced to move away from campus housing. I am currently in the process of finding an apartment in my vicinity, while also trying to find work after graduation and also juggling the end of my studies. Thankfully, once I find work, thanks to my qualifications I expect to be in a much more stable position, but I need help with my immediate housing situation, as I will be forced to leave the dorms in the 14th of December, necessitating I find a place by then.

Because of all of this, I am looking to raise $2,500 USD in order to help shoulder these charges; 2000 of which will go towards finding and furnishing an apartment (rent, security deposit, and some basic furniture), and 500 towards helping pay off the last of my university account balance and my work authorization. I am at a point where I have no choice but to reach out and ask for the help and generosity of my followers and friends in order to raise this amount in time. If this is not successful, I will have no way of affording a place to live next month. While I have a few options at my disposal in that worst case scenario, I hope to be able to avoid making use of them.

Whatever money ends up unused from this fundraiser will go towards savings, though I estimate I'll need to spend at least $1500 in rent and security deposits at the least.

If you're not able to donate, I encourage you to spread this around and share with your friends and followers, and any donation, no matter how small, will help towards my goal of remaining safe, housed and healthy.

Thank you all for your time and consideration,

-Charlotte

[annieqattheperipheral]

HER STORY IS INCREDIBLE EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND LEARN FROM THIS QUEEN ⤵️

Kiana Scott, who played minor hockey system for 11 seasons, including four seasons on boys teams, gravitated to scouting from watching her brother’s games and critiquing his strengths and weaknesses.

Unaware of jobs available in hockey, she enrolled in makeup artistry college after high school, but knew her heart was in the sport.

She eventually enrolled in an online hockey general manager scouting course.

Scott joined the International Scouting Service Hockey mentorship program in 2018 and scouted for the service for two years while holding down two jobs.

“I love scouting future prospects, and the evaluation process,” she said. “I think that's kind of where my passion lies. It's just the evaluation process. And it's exciting, building a team.”

Scott spent two seasons as a full-time scout for Erie before she took a bold step and left the organization to move to Calgary and became an independent scout in June 2022.

“I just kept practicing my craft and kind of paid my own way, like, throughout the whole year,” she said. “All of the tickets to every game, all of my travel expenses, everything. I just put all my money into scouting and trying to evolve and then I ended up getting my (Avalanche) internship the next year.”

Scott had some financial help from her family for the move and she supplemented her income by working as a bartender at a Calgary casino, a job with hours that allowed her to scout games.

If all that wasn’t enough, she also enrolled in the University of Florida’s online sports management program.

“I've always had the mindset to just keep betting on myself and working hard and evolving,” she said. “I think I've taken a lot of risks to get to where I am, but I wouldn't try to change the journey for anything.”

Scott said she hopes women, women of color and people who don’t come from a so-called “traditional” hockey background will follow her on the journey.

“I grew up playing hockey, but I didn’t play professional hockey, I didn’t go to college or university for hockey,” she said. “I just had a passion for it. I love scouting. I worked at it, and I continue working at my craft.

“People that don’t necessarily come from the traditional background, I hope they see themselves in me and believe that they can put their minds to it and get it done.”

-----

The 2024 NHL Draft was as eventful for Kiana Scott as it was for the players who were selected in the seven-round event at Sphere in Las Vegas last month.

The 25-year-old Barrie, Ontario, native signed with the Colorado Avalanche at the draft to become a full-time amateur scout, fulfilling a goal she has had since she was a teenager.

“This is something that I've worked really hard for my whole career to be able to sign my first NHL contract,” Scott said. “I was elated. The Avs have been really good for me the past year, and I’m excited to keep building with them.”

Scott joined the Avalanche after working as an intern for the organization.

Colorado general manager Chris MacFarland said he and executive director of hockey operations Suzanne Borchert “were impressed with her work ethic and her passion."

MacFarland said: “Kiana was on our radar when she was scouting in major junior circuits ... and it worked that a few years ago we had an internship opportunity for her.

“She did a good job in that role and was an integral part of our amateur scouting department. We’re excited to see her contributions moving forward in her full-time role as an amateur scout.”

-----

Scott made history when she became the first woman scout in the Ontario Hockey League with Erie in March 2020.

She was among the initial of a wave of women who were hired in recent years as scouts at all levels of hockey, including Cammi Granato (Seattle Kraken), Blake Bolden (Los Angeles Kings), Krissy Wendell-Pohl (Pittsburgh Penguins), Meghan Hunter (Chicago Blackhawks), Gabriella Switaj (Anaheim Ducks) and Brigette Lacquette (Chicago Blackhawks).

Granato moved on from Seattle to become an assistant general manager for the Vancouver Canucks on Feb. 10, 2022, and Hunter was promoted to assistant GM by the Blackhawks on June 22, 2022.

“When I first started scouting, I didn’t know of any women in the industry already,” she said. “Cammi Granato got her job with the NHL a year after I started scouting. That’s when I kind of knew it was possible. But I never had anyone to look up to. I just had this dream and the passion for hockey. I knew that I had to the talent and skill to do it, and to try to keep building on them.

"That’s what I’ve always gone off on -- keep evolving, never give up on what you love.”

[lesbianashleywilliams]

So those of you who have been following me may have noticed that I all but disappeared for about three months...well, that's because I've been planning to go to Japanese language school, and the wheels have really begun to start turning!!!!!!

I have been given the opportunity of my lifetime to be able to attend a Japanese language course at the International Study Institute in Tokyo's Shinjuku Ward. The course runs for a year, with the opportunity to extend it to two years, if my grades and money are sound [insert sound of children cheering here].

Being able to study Japanese locally and long-term has been a life goal of mine since I was fourteen. Though I'll probably never be able to fulfill my teenage dream of being an interpreter/translator for expats, this feels like the next best thing. Due to suffering from several comorbid chronic conditions that have majorly altered my life, most notably the beast known as systemic lupus erythematosus, I will probably never be able to seize another chance like this ever again. I won't be going in as a total novice, as I was able to take a year's worth of 1000-level Japanese language courses in college…before I had to drop out…… Since then I've been self-studying and using language exchange apps for practice, but nothing will beat the experience of using it in the day-to-day.

At this point in time (January 2024), my first six months of tuition have already been paid for. I am currently in a quiet waiting period while I wait to get to the next steps of the Certificate of Eligibility/Student Visa process. Before that, though, I need to secure my flight and housing. For the sake of my health, safety, privacy and comfort, a sharehouse will not be an option; I will have to seek a private apartment. I am here today to request assistance with the aforementioned flight and initial housing costs. It's still too early to commit to either of those, but:

The average cost of flexible one-way flights from where I am to either of the two Tokyo metro airports (Haneda and Narita) is running around $1200

I am doing some preliminary apartment scouting and am hoping not to exceed $800 per month (I will be traveling with suitcases and will need to properly store them). The apartments I am looking at do not require a security deposit or key money, but will probably come with a guarantor fee.

Now because I'm not going over there through one of the more common avenues - through a university or a job - I have to do it myself. Real life has meant that I've had to dig into my bank balance a bit, and after paying for the first six months I'm a little under the 2 million yen (~$14k) threshold that Immigration likes to see for a year's study. I'm lucky enough in that I will at least have a regular source of (unearned) income, as well as a financial sponsor; it's just the bank balance, flight, and accommodation that are hanging me up. Right now I am setting the initial goal at $3000, but I expect to move those goalposts at least once. Any extra will go towards a flight home for the Christmas holidays in December. After that, it'll go towards paying down my credit cards as much as I can prior to leaving the United States.

I can provide my conditional letter of acceptance from ISI, as well as the school invoice and receipt of the bank transfer for the first six months of tuition upon request (identifying information redacted, of course).

Because there's still a couple of months until I'm set to fly out I put together a GoFundMe (now that's a name I haven't used in a while) to idly collect whatever help I can. At the very least I just need this post to circulate enough to eventually cast a wider net outside of Tungle.hell.

GoFundMe

If you can't use GFM, V3nmo and P4ypal are also options:

V3nmo: @/venus3palette

P4ypal: @/fantasytheater

Again: I'm not in that much of a hurry, and the situation isn't dire! Thank you for combing my wall of text!!!!

[kawaiipony-productions]

IMPORTANT: My Situation and GoFundMe

Hola y hello, to those who don't know who I am. I'm Itzel aka Kawaiipony Productions. I'm a 17 y/o (mostly Mlp) YouTuber. I'm non-binary asexual biromantic (he/she/they) and I'm also an AuDHDer. And well, I need help. I live in an emotionally abusive household and my own “father” is my abuser. And while my mom isn’t as bad and my relationship with her has gotten better in recent years, she has still caused harm even by letting a lot of this slide.

Around February 18th, 2022, my parents snooped on my phone and found out I was trans. They had taken my phone, tablet, and Nintendo Switch. Which I wouldn’t mind too much if I didn’t purchase majority of these. I bought my tablet myself sometime around 2018 to 2019 with my own money. And I split half and half with one of my sisters to buy our Switch. That is hundreds not only stolen, but also destroyed as they’ve broken my tablet (which was around $300-350 when I bought it) previous instances it’s been taken from me. And I have not received any of these devices since.

Not only that, but my abuser in the past years of me dealing with my abusive relationship with him, h has threatened not only kick me out of the house, but also send me to the military without my consent or send me to my family in México to “straighten me out.” Not to mention his constant ableism towards me. From being anti-vax (a very ableist rhetoric towards autistics), forcing me to mask, etc.

This has led to me secretly doing my job as a part-time YouTuber for the past 2 years now, especially since I was forced to delete the previous Kawaiipony Productions channel cause of him. I have a GFM to help fund me for being able to get proper equipment again for doing my work. Not only that, but also possibly for things I plan to get once I turn 18 such as starting to get therapy, medication for my ADHD, etc. And now that I started dating my girlfriend, Vikki, I want to start saving some of this money to possibly meet her irl sometime next year.

I am taking a few small paid jobs for work right now, but it’s still not enough for my situation. So, you may ask, how can I help? Well, if you have the money, donate to my GFM. My GFM goal is $2,000 and I still need around $1,200 for reaching my goal. I also have adoptables for sale right now for $25 each. If you can’t financially help, then you can share not only my GFM, but my work. From my artwork, my videos on YouTube, and projects I’ve been a part of as a voice actor, animator, and/or artist. Any of this helps support me through everything going on in my life. I could really use it right now. So any and all support helps me out. Thank you all for reading this thread, I appreciate any and all support I need!!!

-Itzel C.D. aka Kawaiipony Productions

Ways to support me!!!

My YouTube channel:

My GoFundMe:

Current Adoptables for Sale:

[gwenaelle-art]

Hey, I don't like being in this position of begging but I am desperate. For the last 5 years I have been living with physical, mental, verbal and financial abuse from the family I live with. I've been doing my absolute best to get through it all in the hopes of seeing my girlfriends happy and living a peaceful life with some modicum of control for myself. My entire life is trapped inside one single bedroom, one of my girlfriends has been subjected to this same treatment which only makes me feel all the worse with it being my family at fault. Transphobic behaviour also prevents my ability to seek HRT and the financial manipulation only makes everything else all the harder.

My mother manipulates police and housing officials to nullify every legal action I take against this behaviour, I don't understand how but it is apparently possible. She has been lying to the landlord to make them believe she still lives here and because she earns a good wage, it makes rent here all the higher. She refuses to shift utility bills into my (or anybody who lives here) name and so the bills go without government grants and cannot be negotiated without her direct input. We're looking at having our utilities cut within the next 30 days as a result of this.

I have been forced to take in housemates I do not agree with. I have had several stitches from physical abuse, my lip was punctured by my tooth, my nose has been broken and several black eyes. My right shoulder has been damaged and scans show the socket is starting to wear down and nerves are being harmed by the dislocation. I have had several teeth broken and the dental work has been very extensive from this.

These housemates raid my room for whatever they want any time I am out. Cutlery, clothes, electronics, food, drinks, money, furniture, dishes, etc etc.. the list goes on for much too long. To make matters only worse, whenever these housemates *do* pay part of the rent, they only pay 1/2 of what is due.

My housemates aren't listed as tenants of the house but any action I take to my advantage on that, is nullified either by claims that there is not enough proof they live here or my mother getting it ignored. The damage they and their pets have caused to this house is extensive and with only myself and my girlfriend as present tenants, we are losing credit with our housing agency, we may never be able to find a house through them again and they are considering removing us at this time but there is no clear timeline on that.

Police responses to all of these events have been abysmal and I don't have anywhere else to turn than to just get away as fast as I can. I lack the ability to make enough money on my own to outpace the bills and rent but I want to open a savings pool that I will not touch until I can move away.

The plan right now is to keep any money I make extra aside as solely a moving out fund that I will not touch unless it is to go toward a new home. I will move out of this house and since my mother will not remove her name from the, now overdue bills, it will not be my problem. I will be entirely leaving my family behind, restraining orders will be involved and I will finally have the agency over my life I need.

Anyway, all of this is just for me to say, I have a donation pool available through Ko-fi and I do commissions too, so feel free to grab one if you want too. A few examples of my own work are below

https://ko-fi.com/gwenaellemun/goal?g=0

[wipnexus]

So... I may have had a lil bit of a crisis today...

I've wanted to teach myself how to animate ever since I was a kid, and since I'm unable to work because of serious physical and psycological health issues, I thought now was gonna be the perfect time.

It took me almost a month to write the script for my first animated youtube video and create the storyboard for the animation as well as the thumbnail, and it took me two days of recording and mixing the audio before I was ready to animate in Krita-- cuz that was my only option.

I spent several hours being confused and frustrated with the buttons before I finally made progress and made maybe around 30 seconds of (sketchy) animation...

Then it crashed.

And again.

It kept crashing every time I tried to draw a single line.

Upset by the fact that hours of hard work were for nothing, I tried to get adobe animate, which was unsuccessful thanks to their software being impossible to even download now.

So my only option that won't crash is clip studio paint ex.

I have pro-- which means I can only create 1 second long animations.

To upgrade, it's like £150. WAY too much for me to be able to afford within at least the next year.

Luckily, my birthday is in like 2 weeks, but I have very little faith that my family will even get me anything this year, let alone send me money so I can chase a dream.

So I have a Ko-Fi goal, and there's no pressure to help, but regardless of whether or not I get phenomenally lucky enough to recieve the money for it for my birthday, anyone who decides to donate will be credited in every video I make for AT LEAST the remainder of 2024 because I can't imagine me being able to afford this without help for the forseeable future.

[apricotbuncakes]

Happy pride month!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

This pride month, I kindly request that you help me (a disabled queer trans guy) get closer to my goal of $6,000 for top surgery. (Yes it has decreased from 10,000 to 6,000. More Info under the cut). Currently the GoFundMe has raised $340/$6,000 of what I need. While I am saving my own money and pouring whatever I can spare into my savings, there's no way I can reasonably save enough on my own to reach my goal of getting top surgery before the end of next year.

If you can, even just a few dollars is extremely helpful, and you can donate here: https://gofund.me/60a8148b

Some more nuanced information is below the cut.

My insurance (my state's Medicaid) is required to offer gender affirming surgery and cannot discriminate against myself or anyone else for being trans. Unfortunately the system in which it takes to get approved for coverage is extremely difficult. I wouldn't be able to even qualify until after my birthday next year (you have to be 21 to qualify). And the other steps can be just as tiresome. There's a lot that goes into it, and it's a lot that would be unreasonable for me to get done even if I started now. Not to mention the fact that after reaching out to several doctors in network, only one responded to me (and my phone call with him was anything but kind).

Out of pocket with a plastic surgeon is my best bet, and the safer one too. Currently the ONLY thing preventing me from getting top surgery is my finances, hence the GoFundMe. I found and consulted with a surgeon in my area who is willing to perform the surgery, and a therapist willing to provide a letter stating that basically I'm of sound mind and body to be making this decision.

Truthfully I've needed top surgery since I was 14. Even if I wasn't trans, my breasts cause me significant physical difficulties including mobility and breathing (which, when paired with a physical disability that causes chronic pain makes everything incredibly hard). The dysphoria is a complete other story. I've been binding since 14 too, and considering I'm 20 now, is a pretty long time. Binding for so many years has it's own consequences, especially when you are someone of my size. Needless to say, this is not only medically necessary from a gender affirmation standpoint, but also a quality of life one. It is absolutely a need.

It's also necessary because of my mental health. I made a post a short while ago that admitted to me being... not the best mentally. It wasn't a break down of sorts, but it was an honest reaction to my situation that I needed to get out of my system. The biggest contribution to this not-quite-breakdown is the fact that I can't afford top surgery. That's a hard concept for some people to grasp, that lack of access to this surgery could make me incredibly depressed. So many people still see it as elective or cosmetic. It's a hard feeling to explain, but it is the truth. It's not meant to be a guilt trip or to make you feel pity. It's my reality, and frankly the reality of many other trans people in similar situations.

The estimated cost for the surgery and all its required components is $10,000 (of which my joyfriend has so graciously offered to cover $4,000 of that). That leaves me with needing to cover 6,000 on my own*.

Being physically disabled makes working long hours hard. I get wiped out after a few hours at my normal job, and my summer job at a camp this year is sure to leave me with more exhaustion than normal as my days are significantly longer. (It's sad to say but I am working here mainly for the money, and the super awesome and supportive community I've found is a really awesome bonus. While I anticipate getting more saving money because of the pay increase at this summer position, it's not going to be enough to cover top surgery by itself, and come the end of this position and summer, I'll be back at my original place of work with only a one dollar increase in promotion pay. ($12/hr). I'll likely be making even less money than I normally do because I'm starting school again.

I'm just now realizing how busy my life is going to be after typing all this out...

There are some questions I've had people ask me, but most of them have been answered in other posts of mine that are pretty easy to search up on your own through my blog. That said, if you have any questions about anything regarding this, please ask through the ask box or DM me. I don't mind answering good faith questions, and will happily repeat myself to make it easier for info to find.

*With the help of the GoFundMe.

[ichtios]

20.10.2023

guys I made very hard decision and closed almost all of my market transaction except one. It means loosing tons of money and it is hard to accept it, but it was taking my life away from me, as I was always stressing about it and loosing eating and sleeping. I left one transaction that is suppose to go up next week when google, meta, and something else will publish quarter earning reports. Also it is so low now that it shouldn’t go much lower, rather only up. I left it so I can restore some more money and give it back to my mom. I borrowed lots of money from her in hope of rescuing my funds (I had enough of my own money but it wasn’t immediately available because it is on some funds etc). But I just don’t want to fight anymore. I want to live normally. I talked about it on therapy yeasterday and I felt convinced.

i was never interested in investing in the market. This company called me hundred times and I finally broke, you know, ok I will see how it works, just leave me alone. I had money that I received after my dad died. It was so much that after I bought some stuff for home, I had no need for the rest of them so I thought it might be not so bad idea to invest it. You know, my intentions were good, I like to help people, I thought when I have more money I will be able to do more good. Sounds reasonable. BOY WAS I WRONG. Of course at the beginning everything went great. Then, first mistakes, and problems, also bad advice from that company advisor, and I was spiraling down for almost a year. The truth is that I was mostly deceived and manipulated by this investment company. I can’t really blame myself for all of it. I experienced so much stress and trauma during that year because of it that it is unbelievable. I want it to be over whatever it costs me.

i’m planning to close that last transaction next week when it reaches the level that I hope for. It is realistic goal. I think so. I hope it is a good decision. I was neglecting everything. I want to stop staring at charts and numbers all the time and get back to real work. Thank God all that I do as my job, are good things that bring joy and are helping people. I’m so glad for it now. If I worked in a company that is casually making people loose their money I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the eyes. I really appreciate my work now even if it doesn’t bring me huge wealth. I realize now how much more important is what you do than what you have on your account.

It’s ok, I still have enough money that in case, lets say, I need to replace my car, I will be able to do it. I also earn a good money and I’m self employed. I don’t have to worry that I don’t have a money for living. It is more of a psychological effect. I need to process it. It is not easy. But I think it will be easier to get over that loss than live in constant stress and tension night and day. Writing about it here is a part of processing for me. i will update next week when it is - lets really root for it - finally over. Also it would be nice if Euro go up a little bit, as it is very low now - I would also get some more money when changing to Polish Zloty.

[rurutopia]

17 sept. 24. 01:11 she has been conceived

she (another one of a billion tumblr accounts i've made). conceived (me entering another phase which i will actually try to maintain - let's see if this lasts like a week max).

i just wanted a place to put all my thoughts in. buying empty notebooks (trying to make them into journals but the whole putting emotions onto paper healing universal experience feels too erratic girl interrupted syndrome). asking my friends if they wanted to buy stupid tiktok shop microphones and start a podcast with me emergency intercom-esque (they hate me). running twitter accounts that had blown up at some point since the phase i was in truly appealed to the masses but also attracted a bunch of freaks. but that also made me realise that at least i was good at putting words into the internet - could have been better but also could have been worse. although i can't really think of anything worse than the internet.

topic of conversation. i realised how AWFUL i am at adulting. adulting being spending money. of course i have to have that trait of buying an iced vanilla matcha if i pass by a cafe. or buying that 'vintage 2007' shoulder bag from shoreditch that literally had parts of it ripped off only a couple days after i got it (£35 down the drain - FUCK you). made me realise i need to get a job and get my money up but actually tell me why i need generations of experience to get a job as literally a barista or a fuck ass sales assistant like i literally might as well sell an arm and a leg to basically survive.

that leads onto my aims for uni and what i want to be like this year. if it wasn't clear enough, i want to be more responsible with money. less comfort takeaways. stand on business when kristin takes me shopping. maybe apple pay is truly the root of evil. i also want to be more open to things now that i live significantly closer. go to the gym more often, spend more time outside. even if i have fuck all to do, try to occupy myself as often and not let myself get into a bedrotting state before at least 6pm. also just lock in because being broke this summer truly woke me up about how much i never want to be a bum and that i do have to work hard to be able to have the lifestyle that i want. also the fact that when i was crying to my mum about how i felt irresponsible with money, she shaded me saying that at least she 'doesn't have money problems unlike someone'. but she also had a point that crying doesn't really do shit. so that's another goal - less crying, more actually doing something about it and changing my ways.

obviously there would be way more interesting shit for me to write about but for now she has been conceived. i've become a mother to another stupid little thing so i have a stupid little excuse to refer to it as my daughter.

until next time

ps: i think the red hair dye is seeping into my brain i feel violently #sick now

[inkofamethyst]

March 3, 2024

It's so weird to already know what instrument I'm going to learn next (and also to have purposefully selected a time to learn it). Like, I didn't know I was going to want to teach myself the saxophone in high school, it just kind of happened (though these days I do lowkey wish I had gone for alto rather than tenor (will not make the same mistake with the bass, will prob go for a short scale)). Same with the uke--I was just bored one summer. But knowing that the bass is coming up (but that I'll be waiting over a year for it still (not a bad thing, as I'll be able to use this summer to learn more about my community at large)) makes me a bit antsy to just start playing. I'll be listening to music and will have to make a mental note of a cool baseline I'd like to learn (the "Life Will Change" bridge !!!!!!!!! (though I'll prob have to learn something like "Mask" from P5 before that if I want to play while singing (supposedly notoriously difficult on bass which is lovely)--slower, more repetitive)) but like, that's over a year away. I mean the wait gives me time to save and plan, sure, but I also just want to play something sometimes.

Speaking of planning, when I get to that fateful day next May of picking a bass (not sure if I want to go the cheap route and grab something used online or the Main Character route and have some hot guy in a guitar shop help me pick one out based on his expertise and then offer to give me lessons and then we fall in love (can you tell that Hadestown has pushed the dial right back over to R??) (though the guitar shop plan makes more sense for my first one (of one? of many? who knows) since I don't know any bassists and I don't know what I'm doing (yet))), I'm also going to have to decide whether I want to go for lessons. Honestly? I'm considering it. I know my whole deal is like "hur hur hur im a self taught multi-instrumentalist" (!!!! I'm a multi-instrumentalist !!!!!) but also if I can't find good videos on/am unsure about technique, might as well talk to a professional.

God I'm so excited to learn that instrument. Can you tell?

Speaking of saving, one thing about my savings goals notion page is that I wish it was more.. dynamic. In that, sometimes I save extra towards a goal one month, and it'd be nice if the suggested monthly savings amount went down to reflect the new minimum needed to reach that goal by the desired date. Or alternatively, change the end date based on the amount saved if the minimum payment stayed the same. I don't know how to code either of those, but they'd be a nice touch.

Though, kind of on a similar note, saving so aggressively in January and February has meant that, after typical spending habits, I've been left with basically nothing at the end of the month lol. Everything else taken into account, I've got ~$200 for random discretionary purchases monthly. That's been perfectly fine (aka just enough) but it also feels a little tight? Idk. I suppose I can rationalize it by the fact that it will keep me from overspending and will allow me to reach other goals quicker but it still feels like I'm livin paycheck to paycheck hehe. But this will only last as long as my ultra-aggressive saving strats do, so for about another year, then I start letting up (if all goes to plan).

Also, went ahead and did the per-day calculations because I've always heard that it's cheaper to make your own food than to buy it, and I am actually saving so much by making my own meals every day*. Like, so much. Now, at my uni, getting breakfast or lunch a la carte isn't terribly expensive, but it certainly can and likely would add up.

*Granted, I do benefit from the occasional free lunch or dinner.

Can you tell I'm rationalizing anxiety with over-strategizing? I truly do not make enough money to be so focused (rationalization: start good habits early). The moneydiaries subreddit has fried my brain I think.

Thinking about putting on some fake tattoos at the end of spring break. Partly because they make me immensely, unreasonably happy, partly because I'm curious if anyone would ask about them hehe. The last time I did a full sleeve and met up with some friends (years ago) they were a lil shook.

Today I'm thankful for.. a lazy weekend. And nighttime rain storms.

[mooniemilkieway]

UPDATES

HELLOOO okay so i’ve been very active on Tumblr for roughly 2 months and i’ve had some of my posts blew up which THANK YOU ALLLL FLOWERS FOR ALL OF YALL.

I got active on Tumblr mostly because I wanted a form of escapism since I was experiencing a low point in my life and I got back into drawing after years just to distract myself. Then I remembered my absolute love for creepypastas and other fandoms I’m active in and started posting my art on here and it helped my mental health by a LOTTTTT. I would love to thank every single one of yall that has supported me, it means so so much !!

As for my goals for next year, I really do want to do commissions/sell stuff on probably Etsy. I do work on my college campus but it is a part time job and we have this really dumb rule where we can’t work over 20 hours. I want to be able to support not only myself but my beloved partner. Don’t panic though! We are doing just fine financially but we do need our funds for college.

I’ve been looking at button machines to make pins along with sticker machines and I was like “mmm maybe I should sell those along with my artwork!” I’ll probably wait until 2024 starts and when I do have enough money to get whatever I need along with being comfortable with my art style.

I do have more drawings and OCs to posts (specifically creepypasta obviously) to posts so stay tuned for that!

Also enjoy LJ taking a blunt he’s taking it like a champ

-Moon

[learningsanctum]

October 04, 2024

Studying constitucional law.

Back in February I had started this blog with the intentions of sharing my progress on the new and variated faculty subjects I was going to undertake in this new year. After all, I was finally at the higher education and things had to be different now, right? I wouldn't be barely passing subjects just like I did back in high school, would I?

Well, yes. The first semester was a fiasco of me barely passing and I had to retake most of my exams so I could score just enough not to have to take the subject again. It was disappointing but I didn't think much of it because in my heart and mind I had this hope and idea of doing things differently at the higher education system. I was going to make it right.

Then the new semester started and I was still not studying and sleeping on my free time, tired from working from 07am to 02pm and then going to classes from 07pm to 10pm. Still, I have a gap between 02pm and 07pm I could have been using and had planned various time to use it... only to end up sleeping the whole afternoon.

Please, do understand, I'm not the most health person in the world, much on the contrary, going to the GYM is a habit I have been postponing with the same excuse I had to studying "I have so little time and I am so exhausted", but I realized I had to start creating new habits if I wanted to become a healthy person.

A word to the wise I'd like to share before anyone thinks I suddenly came up with strength and studied all my subjects at once, I didn't. I started therapy about three months ago and you wouldn't believe how the mere fact of knowing I have one hour at week just to talk about myself to someone is relieving. Specially since I'm a very introverted person on general and really dislike bothering my friends with my problems. Therapy helped me to rescue myself from the dangerous trap I was setting up around myself; I was able to identify and actually think about me be going about life and days in a survival mode. I was so deep into surviving and not thinking that somewhere amongst the trenches I lost the sense of what I really wanted in life.

What do I want? That's what I had to stop to ponder about. Did I even remember? It was surprising to see that yes, I definitely remembered what I wanted.

My biggest dream was to go to study abroad. I wanted Cambridge and Oxford. Books, libraries, coffees and burying myself in study for hours a day.

Then came the next, most terrifying question: how could I achieve it? I used to be a golden child, know-it-all, teacher's pet and a goddamn academic weapon! And I had long fallen from grace. I started slacking at seventh grade when I swapped the private hard and thriven education system for the basic public one. I was a star in the public system because everything they were learning I had learnt already in primary. it, of course, came to bite my ass in high school since I assumed I didn't need to study anymore. And I know damn well that if I want a Russell Group university I will have to gain an scholarship. My country's money is worth nothing near the big European pounds.

All things considered I started searching about going to Oxford. Months of research and weeks trying and asking even AI about scholarships available for me to pass to university. Turns out only "Reach Oxford" is available in my country. And tons of people made sure to throw it at my face and say Brazilian acceptance rates in this scholarship were almost inexistent. I didn't give up. I have become set on my goals already.

Then I did what all girls wanting to bounce back into academic life do: I made a mood board, applied to a higher position then the one that I was (I passed!) and started to change my mindset. Day by day. Month by month. A long and torturous process that took a tool on me but was necessary. I had lots of setbacks and just this week I discovered the process to enter Nottingham university through foundation year is easy (if I get the desired grades) since it's an automatic progression pathway, but I have to pay a money that I don't have and believe in my current situation I won't be able to make anytime soon. Still I haven't given up.

Today, at my lunch at work - and it's important to me to talk about my work because while some people have the privilege to sit and study eight hours per day, here in my country, most low class people have to work to study and this ends up in a destructive exhaustion since classes are at night and work usually takes up all the morning and afternoon leaving almost no time to study - I had time to research more and I decided to prepare myself to study once I got home.

I though that since today I didn't have any classes because it's an election day and my faculty will serve as voting spot I would study the much I could for the subject I supposedly should be having today. I decided that even if I can't take IGCSEs and A-levels now because I'm very short on money then I would start studying for what I have in hands, which is my law faculty at my hometown. it's all I have so I might as well be my hometown's good before I become Oxford good.

All of this to say that I am happy to inform that today I studied one whole hour the subject of constitutional law and am able to answer few - even though more simple - questions about the subject. It means my therapy is paying off and it means that my hard work in changing my mindset is giving me the expected result, not only accepting that I might not have what I want now but also motivating myself to use the resources I have to make the best out of my situation. This might as well prepare me for when I finally am able to sit through hours at a library at Oxford to write a paper, no? ;)

And from this, if you have read this far, I would like to say that yeah... maybe you can't study like that one girl from the internet who doesn't do anything but studying... but sometimes half an hour is all you need to keep yourself motivated and to... honestly? Change your whole damn mindset.

[theleafpile]

shit I wish I could tell myself in my twenties now that I'm 35:

- don't play house with that man.

- loaning money to friends is the same as throwing it in the trash. you will never get that money back.

- if it feels wrong, it is. that goes for literally everything. there are no exceptions.

- never compromise. stick to your goals, even if it means you lose people. you will lose them anyway.

- buy the best used car you can afford and be prepared to take care of it for the next ten years.

- sentimental value isn't real. stop lugging around junk. thank it for being in your life and move on.

- there's no value in having a lot of books you're never going to read again. you gained the knowledge you need. if you don't need it for reference in the near future and are only holding onto it as a status symbol, you're not doing yourself any favors.

- don't stop focusing on your health and working out. it is so much easier to maintain a healthy weight than it is to have gained and try to lose it again.

- just because you can stay up as late as you want doesn't mean you should. there is no greater freedom than being able to get enough sleep.

- those summer jobs and volunteer opportunities will do nothing for you. never work for free.

- don't buy that exotic pet. when an opportunity for something fun comes up you don't want to have to be worrying about finding someone to take care of your fucking rat or fish or whatever.

- when you start getting a regular paycheck the first thing you're going to do (after essentials) is pay your debt. then you're going to build up a nest egg of "fuck you" money. do not make big unnecessary purchases. you'd rather have savings than a new TV or furniture.

others please feel free to add on advice for their twenty-something selves. I wish I could go back and shake some sense into myself. in the end everything worked out and I am happier than I could have ever dreamed, but I could have saved myself a lot of heartache along the way.