#btd6 time

[vivian-the-fae]

Intro post time:

Hey all, you can call me Vivian, V, fae, Thea, Gummy (gaming alias) or whatever you can come up with, i go by he/she/they and any neos you can think of so go crazy. I'm aroace and genderfluid

I collect posts usually based on my current obsessions (some may call them hyperfixations, but we don't listen to the haters) which are at the moment: EPIC: the musical, greek mythology in its whole, history sometimes, anything queer, and some lesser ones are: the owl house, gravity falls (haven't read the book of bill yet so no spoilers pls), Dr. Who, board games, DnD, hamilton, Six, and the greatest showman.

Some of my music: musicals of course, female vocalists go insanely hard, here are some of my favourites: Reinaeiry, Annapatsu, Chloe Breez, MilkyMelodies, and Derivakat.

If you're into some fantasy creative writing i suggest checking out my side blog @faes-creative-writing

DNI's: bigots, pedos, nazis, and all other scum. Also people who have "men DNI" on their account, I could go into a whole rant about that, but just know I don't want you here.

And without furtherado (or however the fuck you write that) welcome to my mess!!!!! :3

[vivian-the-fae]

Yeah i feel that. Like, I should rest, but then I'm lazy and wasting my time. Let's hope it gets better

yknow the worst part of burnout

for me at least?

i dont rest

i cant rest

i cant relax

i dont feel calm, really ever

it's 10 pm right now

i should i have 2 hours to rest

but instead

im gonna cry

im gonna write

im gonna work

im gonna clean

im gonna do anything

else

because i never feel relaxation

the closest thing

is probably talking to con

but im just always on edge nowadays

and its shit

im so fucking tired

i could sleep 16 hours and im still tired

its

just

shit

[mutant-girl-mintt]

First post of the year; something to get me back into drawing because goddamn i didn't do shit last month lmao

[heroisdraw]

the rest of my art from spark, since the app died recently lol

[panikkoi]

eti :)

[aquablossomsart]

Reject humanity. Return to monke.

[rcclouder]

putting too much effort in to a 4 frame bit

[nipchipcookies]

Realisation

[inky-goddess]

I did a thing

And even though it says hate on the template I dont hate little nightmares i just dont like it that much because I was never able to really get into it.

[aperfecta-rt]

Psi from BTD6 except I took some liberties w their design (forgot their pants)

[cloud9v]

happy spooky month!

[vivian-the-fae]

TW: vents below the cut

Idk what to anymore. Well that's a lie, I know exactly what I should do, I should ask my parents for help, maybe even get therapy, but I don't, because I've lied to them for so long, I don't think I can take it, opening the curtains for them.

I just live moment to moment at this point. I have no bigger goal as motivation to live, I keep living because of my friends and family, who I love so fucking much.

I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this. Changes need to happen but I am not structured, organized, or motivated enough to make them happen. I mean I try, I really do, but nothing really sticks.

Am I going crazy? Would I even know? Am I right back where I fucking started? I'm kinda starting to hate myself, my physical appearance, the way I act, how I keep lying to basically everyone all of the time.

On top of all this, there is no real reason for this, I live in a politically stable country (at least for the next year or two) I have an amazing family, I love my friends, I'm smart, I've never had to worry about money or safety, I'll most likely get a good job as soon as i get out of university, and I'll probably be able to afford to buy a house before I'm 35. I know how lucky I am to have all these things, not everyone does, but yet I'm not okay, and because there's no discernible reason, it's harder to stop these feelings.

The only think i can think of is being a burnt out gifted kid. I might still have some of that drive to prove myself, so that i can prove that I'm worthy of love and attention. Which is probably where my attachment issues stem from.

In conclusion: I'm fucked up in the head, and not in a good way, and it's driving me insane trying to find the root of all of these issues.

[number-1-harumi-hater]

mermonkey hcs

•they are super shy which is why they havent been seen helping out in raids (the bloons passing over the ocean often might make them change their mind)

•like druids, they are loyal and friends to ocean obyn. they absolutely love him like a king

•they bring up gifts from the depths and throw them on the beach when monkeys arent looking

•they are not fan of the submarine monkeys tho they throw rocks at the submarine when they’re below the ocean

[cocobeanzies]

Pin (xx2 Engineer) dressed in Christmas attire 🎀🎁

Another piece for the BTD6 Fanart Collab!

[codemonkeylikesyou]

lets pretend im not stupid okay? he just wouldnt wear that ghillie suit at all times....

[kaptaincat]

a collection of all the gifs ive made of my oc's within the past couple of days!! I've also renovated their artfight pages!! i dunno if ill make a toyhouse for them or not lol