#my friends are also struggling
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hey guys 🤩 at the threat of my pride, I've decided to come here and ask for yalls help.
so, I've run out of money for the rest of the months, which is luckily only two more days, but that'd also two more days of literally having nothing for food. I didn't have much to grocery shop with in the beginning of the month, and all of that has run out unfortunately.
So, if anyone is willing to help at all, I would be so grateful for even a dollar. All I've had to eat today was hot chips, and it was my off day so I tried to just sleep the day away 😭 But, yeah, if you would like to help, I'll put my cashapp down below. <33
Cashapp: $crows0045
#i dont eat much to begin with#during my fucken TEN HOUR shifts at the airport#ive got to find smth to eat#my friends are also struggling#so if i could get enough for a large pizza to share#i would be so so grateful#btw im almost done with the next chapter of level infinity#if that serves as an incentive lol
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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"Huh? You got a weird email from me yesterday? U-um, yeah, about that... My account was hacked, so you can just ignore it."
#mob psycho 100#mp100#kageyama ritsu#reigen arataka#hanazawa teruki#comic#teruritsu#riteru#(if you squint)#i struggled A LOT with this comic for the past several months so i'm happy it's finally done!!!#inspired by a chain email my friend sent me in 2010#and also i'm just a huge fan of ritsu being Dramatic.#(also also sneaking in teruritsu crumbs for myself and like. the 5 other people who love this rarepair lmao)
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nightlight
#ive been loving ichika lately.... imagine loving hatsune miku so so much and now shes ur cool digital friend who helps u and loves u too#anyway fun fac abt this drawing ive been stuck on it for a week bc ive not had the time or energy to finish it#and it was also meant to be a bit of an environmental piece with a whole background but ichikas room is a bit plain#so i was struggling a bit to make it look pretty so it just looked empty and ugly so i ended up cropping the hell out of this#anyway lol live laugh love#hoshino ichika#hatsune miku#proseka#project sekai#prsk fa#pjsk#leo/need#leonii#leo need#my silly art
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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meljay + touch
ARCANE (2021—2024)
#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane#arcaneedit#meljay#onlymeljay#goldenforge#mel medarda#melmedardaedit#jayce talis#jaycetalisedit#arcanedaily#ccnet#janielook#userrsun#usergentle#userroh#userbldhound#charactersofcolordaily#kds#they are insane for this#the first gif is like very close to my heart#and they say jayce talis isnt head over heels in love with her#also struggling so much to make all those colors match#but i tried friends#also now that ive mixed and matched those gifs#i realize theres a lot of jayce focus#well whatever#maybe thatll show you guys how soft he is for her hmhm
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The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.
#jane crocker#jake english#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#homestuck#alpha kids#Jane is the struggler don’t you EVER contest that#many might argue it’s Jake but he doesn’t struggle inherently#usually he just vibes until he’s forced into situations wherein he struggles#Jane struggles from the beginning#her entire arc is a struggle#also had to change it from “the fujoshi” mostly cause I don’t like that and also cause it’s not as versatile as the other labels#I don’t actually think Dirk is boring btw i just think that when put up against his friends he has a lot less complexity going on#like his arc is fairly simple as opposed to Jane and Jake’s#and even Roxy’s#His problems seem inherently a lot more straight forward to me simply because he’s articulate enough to realize he has problems#Jane and Jake are almost there#problems are like on the tip of their tongues#and Roxy is kinda like the John of the team where she isn’t even gonna acknowledge the possibility of problems#girl is like “problems? haha not me#I’m the put together one in this group :)”#and just ignores all her internalized misogyny and heteronormativity#she is a mirror to Vriska in that they both put a lot of emphasis on preforming romanticism as a means of affirming their gender#anyway my alpha kid readings are way too boring so I feel like nobody would really be interested in them Sighhhh
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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Ahahaha…..guys guess what🤭🤭🤭
Colt’s dad is herE— I cant decide which outfit to give to him, so imma put up a poll to see which fit to give him. I might keep the other one just for funzies tho🤭🤭🤭🤭 his name is Cristobal and he holds Colt’s family rodeos every year in Home :DDDDDD he’s so silly guys
He’s just a lil fella,,,,Cristobal is a gentle giant, and much MUCH stronger than Colt🤭
HES ALSO MARRIED TEEHEEE (Mrs. Razzle belongs to @///t00fen on Insta)
#y’all don’t understand how much I stRUGGLED with this guy’s colors#a pain in the ass fr fr#shit BEAT MY ASS#fun fact: I started this months ago and delayed it cuz color hard💔💔💔💔#ALSO HE’S CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH CLOWNSUU’S OC HARVEY#VERY NICE VERY NICE FRIENDSHIP OF SILLY FELLAS#welcome home oc#welcome home#colt cattlemen#welcome home fanart#welcome home fandom#welcome home fan character#Cristobal Cattlemen
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anyone up for heavenly sword multiplayer
here's a still in better quality too, since i had to compress the gif down to below 10mb:
#HI IM REALLY HAPPY WITH THIS I HOPE U LIKE IT. ok i will now disappear back into my small computr#gif#eyestrain#benrey#hlvrai#hlvrai benrey#benry#hlvrai benry#half life vr ai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#half life vr but the ai is sentient#benrey hlvrai#...................................playstatiooooonnnnnnn#my art#also the qr code only works.uh. sometimes#hfdsjkf#but it works ! my friend tested it#also holy shit what a struggle trying to compress this was
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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harrier if you didn’t want this to be romantic why did you wear your most boobylicious shirt ???
#answer the question harry#shoutout to alex brainrotdotorg for helping me with the dialogue options :3#i haven’t been that active so i’m just like *drops this like a hot potato and runs from the room*#i think i’d pick 3 or 5#man i STRUGGLED with this piece#i literally went to outback steakhouse and got a bloomin onion with a friend as research for this#i tried like 5 different versions before i got a drawing i didn’t despise#it’s been an uphill battle making this stupid fucking comic#i’m gonna cry myself to sleep now#my art#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#oh also kim is drinking a dr pepper and harry is drinking a fancy juice. in case you were wondering#he loves juice. he’s just like me
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#outfit i'd wear to that next machinegirl show if i was cool ( and if was confident and had friends to go with )#NOT 'if i had it' because wahaha. i do. might have been wearing earlier. might still be wearin some of it. nyohoho.#( took off the shoes bc theyre big old leather boots i received today & i don't wanna be stomping around i have downstairs neighbours )#( heaviest shoes i ever owned )#( they're also not super super comfortable for now jury's still out on whether thatll get better or not )#i'll also haveto learn to draw it better i gotta drastically increase my skills at drawing sick kicks & fuckyou boots#shevr#my lines#anyway aah ahah not my best doodle lately#struggled a bit much with it for that result#still lackin the hhhaaabbit
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bunny butt: shiny edition ✨
[op is a femme dyke, he/ze/bun pronouns]
#ok to rb#everyone thank lilith for these pictures coming into existence 🥰🤭#also: i took these at 8am so the natural light really washed me out but honestly. i still love them#(also i say the light washed me out bc i have giant ass windows in this shitty small apartment so it's like Floodlights that early in the A#tbh we dont actually need lamps in here until the sun sets. its like the One part i love about this building. i love natural light so much)#(but also yeah the caveat means my phone camera really struggles adjusting to the light sometimes RIP)#(but im still hot as fuck even with that)#(also for piss kink friends: this is my pissfit. i havent actually gotten pissed on in it yet but its so cute anyway &i WILL!!!)#(i have used it to be a menace :3c also this is the outfit that jiggles video was in mutuals btwww)#bunnyflesh#femme dyke#fat femme#fat femme friday#femme4all#femme bait#butch bait#dyke bait#t4t nsft#t4t dyke#also i hate adding my sexuality and pronouns to these but I've been getting misgendered a bit lately a few different ways so. worth a try i
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