#my body image is. so fucking bad
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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🌊Tess with a kind reminder
ALL BODIES ARE BEACH BODIES🌊
#Tess#body posititivity#YIPPPEE#all bodies are beach bodies#a kind reminder going into this summer#you deserve to feel nice‼️#dress how you like fuck everyone else 💥💥#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#finished piece#my art#digital art#my oc art#2024 art#going on vacation and wanted to spread some positivity about body image#but I wanted to finish this before I left#I love Tess so much honestly#I feel bad for not drawing her a lot because I trying to redesign her a bit but I dunnnoooo what she should wear#I’m sorta debating just giving her high raise jeans and a bikini top ngl#SHOUT OUT TO WOMAN‼️#ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMAN#hope everyone has a good summer and feels good about themselves 💥‼️#evil art style challenge
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...
#I FEEL ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY THAT I COMPLETELY RESPECT SNS TO THE ULTIMATE DEGREE AND I AGREE WITH THEIR SHIPPERS ON MOST THINGS#BUT THE SHIP STILL KINDA PISSES ME OFF IDK WHY IM SORRY IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TRIED TO LOVE IT I REALLY HAVE BUT I CANT#AND MADARA HAD SOME GOOD POINTS BUT I THINK ITS SHITTY THAT HE ABANDONED HIS CLAN AND THEN PLOTTED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD#ALSO ITACHI HAD LIKE OTHER OPTIONS!???? WHY THE FUCK DID HE TORTURE SASUKE TWICE LIKE 😭😭😭#WHAT WAS THE POINT MY G WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM DYING WAS ENOUGH DIDNT NEED TO GIVE HIM 500000 EXAMPLES#WE AS A SOCIETY DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHEN MADARA ASKED HASHIRAMA TO EITHER KHS OR KILL TOBIRAMA#TOBIRAMA GENUINELY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT HASHIRAMA WOULD GO AFTER HIS THROAT FOR LIKE- THIS GUY WHO HE USED TO THROW STONES WITH!???#ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND SASUKES TRAUMA AND WHO LIKES SASUSAKU 😭😭#COS LIKE ILL 100% ADMIT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WRITTEN SHITILY AND SUCKED AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE BROTHERS#SNS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN SSK OR NRHN SOMEHOW???? ITS WRITTEN SO WELL PEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PLOT HAD SNS PLANNED#BUT ALSO SAKURA IS SO SILLY AND STRONG AND DID ANY OF YOU READ SASUKE RETSUDEN “Trapped by a body he knew perfectly”#OKAY SASUKE YOURE ON A MISSION??? CALM THE FUCK DOWN 😭😭#NO AND IN LIKE SSK FICS SASUKE IS SOME BAD BOY WHO JUST SMIRKS AND IS EMOTIONLESS AND SAKURA IS SOOOOO EMOTIONAL FUCK OFF YOU TWATS!!!!#SASUKE IS THE KITTEN!! SAKURA SO OBVIOUSLY RADIATES DADDY ENERGY YALL ARE FUCKING INSANE!!!#WHY DO WE GET KITTEN SASUKE IN EVERY OTHER SHIP BUT THE FUCKING CANON ONE!! AT MY FUCKING!!!! LIMIT!!!#FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE COMPLEXITYS OF SASUKES CHARACTER AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON YET DOESNT HATE SSK CHALLENG#Uh oh I went a bit mad there hahaha#I REGRET NOTHING SASUKE DID NOTHING WRONG SAKURA IS GIRL BOSS AND THE NARUTO WORLD IS EITHER UNEXPLAINABLY VIOLENT OR FAR TOO FORGIVING#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#pro sasuke#haruno sakura#Pro Sakura#Sasuke Uchiha#sasuke did nothing wrong#It looks awkward to just go from all those long tags to the iddy bitty ones#Moldy-flowers#Kitten and daddy? Tf am i on about I've been watching too much game grumps shi 😭😭
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any recovery tip for someone's who's deep in the "I need to starve myself" trenches? thanks <3
i have so many things i could offer up as advice but if im being honest, the heart of it all comes back to something that feels pretty infuriating to hear. unfortunately, it’s not easy, but it is simple.
you have to eat.
you have to hear your body telling you it’s hungry, whatever that looks like for you (craving something, feeling it in your stomach, shakiness, whatever it is), and feed yourself. you have to feed yourself. even when your body doesn’t know how to communicate to you that you’re hungry. you have to prove your brain wrong over and over. you have to show yourself that you don’t need to be afraid. you have to show up and nourish your body and take care of it with consistency. food has to come first, above all. frankly, there isn’t any time for nuance about that while you are mid-starvation. you have to eat.
it’s painful and it hurts and it’s terrifying, but you have to do it. it may even be the most scary challenging thing you ever have to do. but ultimately, being anxious and hurt and terrified is survivable. your eating disorder should you continue to choose it, isn’t.
#obviously getting help w this is so important for safety too if you’re at risk of refeeding syndrome#but at the root of it you have to want to save yourself#whether or not you have help#i could say so much about recovery but at its basics this is all it is#gotta get enough reps in that your brain goes ‘wait it’s not so bad’ lol#i do have additional mandatory advice if your ed is body image related and that is also simple:#get the fuck over your fatphobia !!!#sounds harsh but it’s real and it helps you and everyone you interact with#no fear of becoming/being fat = no more behaviors that are born from fear of fatness#easier said than done of course but like#getting over that fear is a huge part of what saved me!!!#i still struggle w some behaviors now and then but they aren’t body image related anymore !!#anyway if ur still reading this know i say all of this w sooooo much love in my heart and compassion for u in the place ur in#but it’s what i wish i would’ve been told at the height of my illness#personal#asks#recovery
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finished helluva boss and now i have Thoughts
#random thoughts#hell#give me more fat characters. where is the body diversity 🔫 stop showing me twinks#i don't like that stella is so monstorously evil. like i enjoy it but i think stolas would be a more compelling character#if his cheating wasn't excused by the narrative#i think she should still be evil but less of an idiot about it#like for the first whatever years of their marriage they're partners who work together to raise their daughter. like platonic life partners#and stolas is like 'Yes this Must be what love is' because he Does care for her but he doesn't have the life experience to quantify it#so when he and blitzo meet (btw i Do think the 'they were childhood friends' thing is. lame? it's lame)#he gets swept away by just how much he's feeling#so he has an affair which he's hiding from his wife until some pictures of stolas and blitzo hit the tabloids#nothing TOO incriminating so the cat's not out of the bag but enough where he's like 'shit man i have to tell my wife'#so he does and he's thrown off by how much more worried she is about their image (and how stolas may ruin it)#than she is about their relationship#so she's preparing all this damage control and he's like '? excuse me? i CHEATED on you are you? are you not getting that?'#and then she reveals that yeah of course they're in a loveless marriage she thought he KNEW#the IMPORTANT thing is not risking their REPUTATION stolas!!!#so basically she's been kind to him all these years to make the best out of a bad situation and doesn't really actually like him as a person#so she's like 'you can fuck your little imp all you want just keep it where no one can see you'#and when he eventually DOES divorce her she's PISSED because how DARE he ruin the life SHE worked so hard on???#and that's when she starts trying to get him assassinated before the divorce can be finalized (so she can inherit)#(i know there's different inheritence laws in universe but i don't remember then rn okay sue me)#and maybe if she's afraid of octavia inheriting before her she could be like 'actually she was never his so we never had a true heir'#because she HAS cheated on him before and oh god now i really like the idea of octavia not being stolas's biological daughter#basically my ideal stella is hannah gill but one who thought truman was aware their marriage was a sham#haha 'you thought we were in love? that i loved YOU? i knew you were sheltered but i didnt think you were that STUPID'#the closest she gets to being upset about the affair personally is that he cheated on her with an IMP??? are you TRYING to make her look BAD#but back to octavia because now i'm like a dog on a bone and i NEED to explore the idea of her not being stolas's#it's revealed by stella during the show and when octavia comes of age she gets some sick new secondary traits from her bio dad#her sperm doner (as she calls him) is some kind of predator to owls
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Can we please get lore? /nf or anything ofc I just love the way you write lore
OUGHHHHHHHH ok well in short. regarding himawari and willow in simple terms willow is literally just a redesign of himawari which was my old sona but i decided to do some interesting lore shit with it
and that shit being the fact that willow was created by himawari in the nothingness (a place in the realm i don't think i really mentioned yet........god it's so hard to explain lore here cus i practically said nothing about the world) because himawari was ''the creator'', and then she gave him her core/soul so that he could be the '''''new himawari'''''', alongside this she gave him another core from someone who we will later find out (probably). after this she decided to stab herself in the chest in front of him so that the timeline would reset but without her and with willow instead, so that he would become the new creator (basically sona). the thing is this shit was fucking traumatising because willow can't help but think this was all his fault even though this was what himawari wanted
#asks#lore drop#i had to make a whole ass storyboard about this the other day my hand was hurting so bad#only my brother got to see it tho it's like. 15 images i dont think i can post it here#but YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! before becoming the new sona willow just had to fucking witness the old one killing themselves#also this is PROBABLY why willow has top surgery scars. cus. his form was directly created from himawari's body#hence why his hair and skin colour is the exact same#they almost look like siblings#with the core from someone else: that's also a message himawari wanted to pass onto the new sona because they#have to do something with it but. willow just fucking left it in the nothingness because he was too busy crying#before then vanishing and going into the real world#anyways yeah this is like. lore from the realm? in reality willow existed before himawari even ''created'' him#i like to think this realm shit is accessed kinda like a dream? so there's real life and. whatever this fucking world is
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#saw a picture of myself from when i was really struggling with my body image when i was younger and started sobbing#bc i was literally a tiny fucking baby it was like middle school and i look so small#but we were at the pool and i was swimming in shorts and a tank top bc i was so scared of my body existing#and looking at it now is like overwhelming bc what the fuck that’s a picture of a baby#and the fact that i know what’s going on in that kids head and how fucking wild and Wrong the feelings they’re having are#i can’t recall ever seeing a picture of myself from that time bc it was so bad i would never let anyone take them of me#bc i was terrified of having to see myself or ppl being able to look at me like that forever#and actually seeing one and seeing what i truly looked like vs the image i had in my head of how i thought i looked#is fucking wild#and so fucking sad#sorry i’m having a lot of emotions abt this actually didn’t expect that to happen but#here we are ig#personal
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conquered getting a shower please clap.....
#from chronic pain to bad body image issues & insecurity & big wave of dysphoria i didnt want to#but i washed off and even brushed my teeth :) didnt wash my hair but oh well#its 3:22 and i have to be up at 9 and my chest hurts and i am. so fucking sad. but we push on.
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went on an early morning walk w my mom and my pup and then went to the farmer's market and got local produce and yummy coffee and then had lunch made of aforementioned produce and now I want to die. all in a day's work.
#cw// ed#rlly worried abt work and fending for myself#esp considering i havent been doing snacks or my meal plan since discharging even with supposed parental accountability#body image is bad and i want to go use the scale in the gym so badly#i fucking hate my brain and mental illness like WHY can i not do NORMAL THINGS
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I always forget how people back in the olde days used to just die so easily from the flu, until I get the flu myself dhhdhdhf because on one hand I know our medicine is just soo much better now a days but on the other hand I have the immune system of a dead man and once I get sick I'm like the ye olde victorian child on a death bed dhdhdhhd it's been 4 days and I just NOW can get on my phone to watch videos and text, and eat and drink water, and coherently string words together and do more than just lay in bed and moan in pain, and sweat and cough in sick delirium 😭
#im being so deadass#i only slept once between just staring at whatever i was hallucinating on the ceiling and that was last night#and i dreamt that i was eating glass#i know its because ive hurt my stomach and ribs from so much coughing because i can barely talk#at least in my dream i was picky about the glass i was eating LMAOOO i was like NO I WANT THE BUBBLE AMBER DRINKING GLASS NOM NOM#and raided a flea market just to find it and eat it#i dont fucking know#i finally ate some chicken noodle soup and apple sauce too and ive finally had some wonderful and amazing water#i swear i never enjoyed it more in my LIFE#i hate being sick because i get so sick so easily and soo soo so bad#fucking rough man#i had no idea it was Saturday until i just checked#fucking was Tuesday last I remembered god damnit#also its really scary looking in the mirror because I dont look well or look like myself right now#body image warning#but my face looks so hallow and dark and scratched up because apparently I either was scratching in my sleep or something happened#and I'm soo much thinner than the last time I looked in a mirror and got out of bed like 4 days ago#my beard is big and shaggy and i need to shave but i really really don't look good and its hard to do any self care#when you go from looking healthy and glowy to pale and dark and thin in just a couple days#like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that#im caught in a state of#this isn't reality#which i know isnt safe or good but ill be okay because i know im just in shock and that i cant push myself through it#especially in this weakened state#i just need to take it slow and steady#drink my water stay in my blanket and eat what i can and take my meds and thank FUCK I came through the fog and rest
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this song ain’t got no right to be scratchin’ my brain as much as it does
#and i mean that as a compliment#Seven.txt#music stuff#Warren Zeiders#Spotify#gonna start making more use of Tumblr’s features and putting the actual songs i’m obsessed with in the body of posts#instead of just talking abt them in tags. i like music and y’all r gonna Hear about it no matter how bad my taste may be#anyways i’m at an internal war over this song#half of me is like ‘it’s just one of a million Mainstream Country Songs where some white guy sings abt heartbreak. what’s so great abt it?’#but the other half of me is like ‘yeah but. ur weak to that shit. that’s ur kryptonite bitch. it’s in ur blood. we Know this.’#‘also. nice voice + country accent + he’s blaming Himself and not just the girl + 2:40-3:00 makes u go apeshit every time.’#‘Also the cover image is hot as hell and it makes u think of that shot of Boothill standing at that pool table.’#‘oh yeah And the whole damn thing is giving off Seth YuuriVoice vibes. so like. yeah’#and i nod my head in reluctant agreement like yeah ok i guess ur right. damn#anyways if anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner listening to this on loop until i make myself sick of it#hsr boothill#Seth YV#yea fuck it i’ll tag them too why not#if anyone disagrees with me pls keep it to yourself it’s just my opinion pls let me have it in peace
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Honestly? Kinda sad I don’t have any stretch marks. At all anywhere. :(
#chaoticbuggybitchboy#mild vent#I guess?#my growth is all sorts of fucked up both because of food insecurity and because my ocd used to be so bad I could barely eat anything at all#both are a 0/10#body image
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#it's actually rly fucked up how seeing one bad picture of myself can ruin my entire evening#i've spent so much time and energy to reach a level of understanding and acceptance of how i look and it has been working#and it's like. i know i am fat. and it's okay. it is just a fact. i've mostly made my peace with it.#then i see a pic taken of me from an unflattering angle and all the unhealthy thinking patterns i've tried to unlearn come back#i will forever be bitter about growing up basically hating myself and i am SO MAD that it is still affecting me!!!!#it's like. so what if i look big in the picture or if i have a double chin in it. that is literally just how i look and that's it#the level of neutrality has been hard to achieve and it annoys me how precarious it still is :(#not to even mention that maybe neutrality isn't the best goal anyways. but like. the concept of being hot seems so foreign to me#like. other people? sure. me? never#sometimes i simply hate the society for making me feel unworthy of everything because i'm fat.#and how people talk about fat people and how they treat fat people has given me trust issues for life#so i'm just sad it's like this. i want to love myself and all that but sometimes it is just so hard#idk thank u for witnessing my rant if u read this far here have a flower 🌸#body image tw#personal
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When you don’t like a book that much, but not enough to abandon, or skim through it, because it’s still mildly interesting; so you binge-read chapter after chapter so you can finish it as quickly as possible without sacrificing your comprehension. But as you’re doing this, the plot thickens, and you actually start enjoying yourself.
#The Rebuilt Man (AKA: the book I should have been able to finish a month ago because of how tiny it is sksjsjsksksn)#The plot has really picked up ngl#I hate that Beechcroft has to randomly mention everyone’s weight at all times like a fucking maniac (even when it’s completely unnecessary)#and if the character is anything larger than rail-thin; he does so in a disparaging way#Just ick… please seek help for your body image issues and don’t project them onto literally every character in your book#There have also been a couple of “breasted boobily” moments; but they’re not that bad… kinda funny#Like consistently mentioning the sweat breaking out BETWEEN and ON TOP OF Lori’s breasts… I mean… underboob sweat is a thing#but between and on top of the breasts of someone described as “willowy?” (read: not much chest tissue) I don’t think so#or maybe I don’t sweat as much as a normal person and my view is skewed idk… still seems like bullshit to me#And in a couple of instances it’s stress sweat; which would be under the armpits… but she’s too pretty to be gross#(SARCASM)#Prettykin’s parts are entertaining to read (he’s a hitman)#The whump of the MC is pretty good and lasts throughout in short bursts#It also gets… spicy#There is definitely some fan service ssjdnsnsnsjsnsn
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I feel bad for Margaret of York that this portrait is always used to represent her
fuck ass proportions!!!
#she's got a shoulder-head ratio like a bratz doll v____v#even if you ignore the obviously-shrunken body the facial proportions are just clearly out of wack too#its so odd bc it's not as if portraits of the nobility from the late medieval period are normally this bad#a lot of medieval art of like famous ppl--portraits that arent full paintings--arent even bad per se#like the most well-known contemporary image of her father richard duke of york isnt BAD its just not a full painting#so it's quite unsatisfactory to a modern viewer wondering what they looked like#margaret's husband charles the bold duke of burgundy had several splendid paintings that i think many would be surprised at the quality of#text post#medieval art#every time i see this painting it makes me unhappy#i know there are other better images used to represent her but i dont see them as prominently so im guessing theyre not contemporary?#i havent done my research into them so dont take that as fact#usually in a case like this. if the most well-known image of someone is this fuck ugly#it's got the most valid historical provenance for representing them. which is a shame#no human being has ever looked like this portrait of margaret of york duchess of burgundy#it hurts. it's painful to behold
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