#i had to make a whole ass storyboard about this the other day my hand was hurting so bad

[sleep-nurse]

Can we please get lore? /nf or anything ofc I just love the way you write lore

OUGHHHHHHHH ok well in short. regarding himawari and willow in simple terms willow is literally just a redesign of himawari which was my old sona but i decided to do some interesting lore shit with it

and that shit being the fact that willow was created by himawari in the nothingness (a place in the realm i don't think i really mentioned yet........god it's so hard to explain lore here cus i practically said nothing about the world) because himawari was ''the creator'', and then she gave him her core/soul so that he could be the '''''new himawari'''''', alongside this she gave him another core from someone who we will later find out (probably). after this she decided to stab herself in the chest in front of him so that the timeline would reset but without her and with willow instead, so that he would become the new creator (basically sona). the thing is this shit was fucking traumatising because willow can't help but think this was all his fault even though this was what himawari wanted

[oh-boy-me]

Demon Outfits Discussed

The wait is over :) thank you for your patience and all the lovely comments on the casual discussion!!

I feel like it got longer this time, so I hope it’s all an enjoyable read!  Also, I apologize for the ugly pictures--it was the easiest and fastest way to both have all the design in one image and also prevent it from stretching so far.

Like last time, please don’t take this too seriously; we love these boys and Justin doesn’t know them but has no grudges against them.  We’re just harping on their fashion sense.  Absolutely no hate is intended towards the boys or the design team!

Participants in the discussion were

Jo ( @jodaneko ), our art major with storyboarding/character design experience, who finds they have more in common with Satan each passing day.

Justin ( @justinlester0629 ), our fashion expert, who dressed up and filled a wine glass with water for the occasion.

Noodle (Me), our untrained eye who owns the Barbie as the Island Princess video game on three different platforms.  It’s not even that good.

Featuring emergency guest star Megan ( @maggo77​ ), my sister who is physically near me as we look at the backs of their designs for the first time.

Edit: Distracted by the pretty jacket, we made a mistake when putting in Levi’s silhouette rating.  It’s the worst.  2/10, not 6.

Lucifer:

“Boy looks like he’s about to swing open the doors of an expensive mansion during a debutante party and give some SCATHING NEWS.” —Justin

“Short shoulder cape and a long split butt cape lol” —Jo

Jo has realized that based on both outfits, Lucifer doesn’t want people looking at his butt.  Possible reasons are: he doesn’t have one, or Diavolo someone was getting distracted.

His shoes match his outfit.  After last time that’s all I care about.

A triple popped color, and how many layers is the middle one?  Is that a book?  Dude has like 27 collars.

The forehead diamond is very important and it’s great that there are diamond buttons to match it.  But uh.  How about those red diamonds on his sleeves.  They.  They sure are there.  (I actually like the red accents and that they match his gloves; I just can’t take the diamonds seriously.)

  Lucifer 🤝 Some Horses Diamond on the Forehead

The peacock motif is HERE and we’re all living for it.  HOWEVER, the feathers on the cape and coattails should have matched, OR there should have been more lime green because there’s so little of that color.

The pants have a pleat in the front, which Justin says means he responsibly irons his clothes, and Jo says only heightens the fact that under the capes this is a marching uniform.

Can he fly?  Jo says these are baby wings that can’t support his weight, and his cape has a hole for the top pair but blocks the bottom pair?  Can’t believe Lucifer handicapped himself for the sake of fashion.

The red makes it regal and the wide flowy design makes it imposing.  Good job, Lucifer!  I might actually be intimidated if I saw you.

Definitely the classiest outfit.  You can tell they put care into it.

Mammon:

“BITCH MY BODY CANNOT TAKE THIS KIND OF SEXY, I THINK I AM OVERHEATING!  NO MORE FURTHER COMMENTS, YOUR HONOR.  HAUTE AND HOT.” —Justin

The whole thing does amazing with only three colors.  We’ve noticed the trend of black and white + one color, but I mean hey.  It’s working so far.

Damn those pants sit low.  No wonder literally all of you wear belts.

The leather jacket?  The studs and harness?  Bless.  Justin calls it “the perfect blend of stylish and ‘I’ll see you tonight *wink*’”.

Kind of don’t like how the belts connect to the pants, though.  It looks better in the back.

“He found a really cool jacket, but it didn’t pair with anything so he just didn’t wear anything.” —Jo

Honestly though?  We’ve all made fun of Mammon for having big hoe energy in his outfits, but like, he knew he had wings and planned his outfit to accommodate for that.  He’s the only one who didn’t cut holes in his outfit.  Maybe Mammon was the smallest hoe after all.

Also if there’s a motif it repeats elsewhere, like the studs and diamonds on his jacket and pants.  Did he and Lucifer have a “tastefully putting diamonds on my outfit” battle?  Because Mammon definitely won.

One of the charms broke off the belt loop and he never bothered to replace it, and honestly thank god there isn’t two of those anymore.

Torn between wishing the boots were tighter to match the rest of the outfit and saying “yoooo they’re open in the back!!!”

Ok so so far we’ve said generally only good things, but there is one major issue with the design: Its gravity.  Everything points down, his tattoos, the diamonds, even his wings.  The center of gravity in the image is his shoes.  Bitch loved his shoes so much he made his whole outfit point to them.

Either way this was universally considered the best and I mourn Justin who doesn’t know how far Mammon’s standards are gonna fall from here.

Leviathan:

Diagonal zipper

“Levi what the fuck.” —Megan

He looks like an e-boy.

Honestly it looks like he borrowed something from Justin’s wardrobe for Pride but he didn’t know how to put it on.

APPARENTLY the biggest hoe.  Abs that he shouldn’t have coming through a mesh t-shirt.  I thought Mammon’s pants were low, but Levi’s whole-ass ass is out.  Ok Levi, I see you.

The shirt pattern is good but he probably leaves it partially unzipped because it’d look really dumb fully closed.

Justin loves the funky pants pattern and Jo likes the pants but not with the outfit.  It’s because the devs were too coward to give him a thick tail base so his pants had to fill that role by sharing the pattern.

The shoes are good, and not just because they incited Justin’s deep-set hatred for Christian Louboutin and his uncomfortable red-bottom shoes.

Justin is offended that he’s hiding his suspenders; either show them completely or not at all, no in between.  Jo’s not fully convinced it isn’t just one suspender.  What are his suspenders doing?  What are they attached to?  Are they holding anything up?  Apparently not.

Jo pointed out that if you squint the belt on his waist looks like fangs and the orange dots on his sleeves looks like eyes so it’s like theres a snake head on his outfit.  Cute!

The gloves are throwing us off though.  Why is Levi of all other brothers need gloves?  I bet he has sweaty hands.

Ok really, does his sweater unzip all the way into two pieces?  Or does it hang by that tiny thread underneath the tail hole?  There’s even a button, just in case.

Can’t believe this antler-sporting, suspender-wasting nerd went diagonal zipper on us because we beat him at a trivia game.  Should have just zipped his hood.

Satan:

HONEY.

“I hate everything about this.” —Megan

First of all, he’s straight up wearing Lucifer’s casual shirt.  Does it only button down the back?  Can he take it off?

Then he spilled bleach on his pants.  Like I get what they were going for but with the white on black that is literally just bleach stains.

Incredibly differing opinions on the belt.  He got it in the cowboy department.  Justin adores it.  Jo despises it.

And are those… athletic slip ons?

And now the elephant in the room.  The ribcage made of ribbons.  The ribboncage.  The idea is great!  I love that they gave him a skeletal theme without throwing him into a Hot Topic.

But if you take the ribboncage and feather boa off he’s literally just wearing a dress shirt and some nice jeans.  And that’s the problem with Satan’s demon form.  Not that it looks goofy.  It’s that they took risks but then hid all the risks behind business casual.

Also Megan said that the back of the ribbons look like a rock climbing harness.  Someone (probably Justin) said the front reminds them of the underbelly of a green cockroach.  Ew.

The feather boa would look better if it was over something you wouldn’t literally wear at the office.  (And also didn’t look so much like worm on a string.)

“He is going to Dragcon 2020 and is definitely going to take a picture and ask to lip sync, but accidentally start beef with Acid Betty.” —Justin

On a good note, loving how the tail fades to highly radioactive green.  Feels dangerous.  Megan pointed out that it’s a pretty wimpy tail, though.  Jo enjoys the self-conscious posture it expresses.

That’s basically the only good thing we have to say, though.

I just????

Merry Christmas.

Asmodeus:

The kanji on the picture is just saying that the coattail is the same on both sides.

Ok now with that out of the way, HONEY.

I’m sure he says that to others but I hope he says it to himself too when he looks in the mirror.

Starting with the good.  The wings?  Adorable.  The heart-shaped hole to accommodate them?  Adorable.  One of the only good adjustments.

And I love that the tips of his horns look venomous, like a scorpion tail!

We love a good floral design and a good twin tailcoat.

But once again, the shirt just has too much going on.  The flowers.  The buttons.  The brick-pattern stitching.  The brooch.  The long collar.  The fact that if he closed the last button it’d end in a diamond covering his crotch.  Sometimes less is more, Asmo.

That scorpion brooch is the best thing to ever grace my computer screen and it shouldn’t have to share the spotlight with the rest of his shirt.  It should have wrapped around his arm and been paired with some more jewelry.  Then he could have ditched those giant cuffs.

The bleeding heart tattoos are a really good idea!  But they should have been angled better and not like someone else put them on at the roller rink.  And maybe they shouldn’t have been outlined in pink.  Those aren’t tattoos, those are gaping holes in his arm.  Is he ok.

I’ve been avoiding the pants, but.  The pants.

“Oh dear god. Oh no that’s… I thought you were a designer…” —Jo

One side is buckled the ENTIRE way down, and then the other side is COMPLETELY plain.  It’s too extreme on both ends.  It should have been only half a leg of buckles.  Not whatever this is.  I still don’t think he can bend that leg.

The shoes are ok but they COULD have been a stiletto so.

Jo is DONE with these demons’ inability to wear socks.

We expected better from you, Asmo.  I hope you have to fasten all those buckles every morning as retribution.

Beelzebub:

He said “how many belts can I wear on one outfit.”

Justin said it’s like Barry B. Benson and Post Malone had a beautiful baby boy, and Obey Me! is cancelled for creating a sequence of events that could lead to me hearing that with my own two ears.

The jacket?  Stunning.  “It’s steampunk mixed with Jack Sparrow, mixed with Billie Joe Armstrong,” says Justin.  It’s got puffy sleeves!  And there’s objectively too much going on with the jacket, but since it’s a leather jacket I can forgive it.  Justin and Jo can’t.

I’m not sure why they keep giving him weird jacket collars but I prefer belt number 9 to fur.

“Why is it bucked in the back?  Couldn’t it have just been a jacket?” —Megan

Good that the black tank isn’t only black, but he has so little color on his outfit that it would have been nice for it and the matching pattern on his boots to have been a color besides gray.

I don’t mind the belts down the leg because they’re not too in your face.  Jo wants the white belt to be thinner.  Justin wants him to just pick one and go with it.

Poor Beel, he can’t do his lil thigh pat pose without his right hand being assaulted by studs and that bear trap-shaped buckle.

Justin feels like the cowboy boots are too wide up top and it’s probably because they’re FAKE cowboy boots.  I don’t know why he didn’t just get cowboy boots instead of putting fake coverings over his dress shoes.

Can’t fault the twin belt, though.  And the wing hole isn’t terrible.

Idk I guess.  They knew what they wanted to do at least.  

That seems to be the pattern with Beel: they know what they want to do, but something weird happens in the middle of it.

Belphegor:

“I don’t know which Teletubby let their son go through the it’s just a phase mom phase, but they should be ashamed.” —Justin

A toddler who just learned how to cut holes in paper got a hold of his hoodie.

Is it a hoodie?  A jacket?  A poncho?  The cow print actually isn’t terrible.  At least it had the decency to be unique in its spotting.  And the actual presence of blue is very appreciated.

On the topic of colors, Jo is calling the devs out on their apparent fear of color.  “Put the pink elsewhere, cowards,” they say.

We actually don’t hate the horseshoe, and using it for the belt buckles is actually really clever.  Even if 75% of them are doing literally nothing.  Feel like he didn’t need that many.  Could do without the bottom one, maybe even bottom two.

There’s a teeeeny tiny cowbell on the back?  Megan apparently finds that VERY important.  Why do they go to such great lengths to remind us that Belphie’s a cow?  Beel doesn’t rub his hands together 24/7.  Mammon doesn’t even get bird wings.

Just like Satan spilled bleach, Belphie has tar pants.

It’s nice to see a change in pant style, but.  Am I biased because I hate harem pants?  Maybe.  Are these harem pants too short on him?  Yes.  Maybe they were supposed to be parachute capris?  But it just looks he outgrew them too fast and Lucifer won’t buy him new pants yet.  At least they look comfy.

If he puts his keys in those pockets will his pants fall down?  Probably.  That’s a problem considering his are the only pants that look like they could hold any keys.

The shoes are fine.  I can enjoy a high topped sneaker.  …Is that a security tag?  Did he steal his shoes.  Belphie stole his shoes.

On the tiny tail hole, I appreciate that Belphie went for modesty.  But I hope it’s impossible to wear these outfits outside of demon form because I don’t want him walking around with a tiny hole right above his ass.

Honestly he doesn’t even look like a demon?  He just looks like… a cow.

There’s one more aspect of their demon forms that I didn’t feel comfortable forcing into a smaller space than it deserved: Silhouettes.  Jo puts a lot of weight on silhouettes and their role in character design.  Is it dynamic?  Is it recognizable?  Jo ranked them as such:

1. Lucifer: 9/10.  Care and effort were put into this design and it shows. 2. Mammon: 7/10.  Points deducted for most of it being form fitting but otherwise still manages to get a passing grade. 3 (tied). Beelzebub: 5/10.  His wings have actual mass but his horns being mostly hidden by his head reduce his score. 3 (tied). Belphegor: 5/10.  Evens out since his clothes aren’t as form fitting as the others but they also kind of turn him into a blob. 5. Asmodeus: 4/10, and only because he’s got multiple wings and that his tailcoat breaks up the bottom half. 6. Satan: 3/10, for the fact HIS BOA carries most of the work in altering his silhouette. 7. Leviathan: 2/10.  The tail and horns prevent this from being a total flop.

Our (surprisingly unanimous!) ranking of their outfits (not counting Megan her opinions deviated) were:

Mammon

Lucifer

Leviathan

Belphegor

Beelzebub

Asmodeus

Satan

In conclusion, any M-rated fic that doesn’t have it take demon Satan 20 minutes to take off his shirt is too unrealistic.

[hetahonda]

hetalia film school AU headcanons

North Italy/Feliciano Vargas

Feliciano took like one acting class for fun and now he fills in for all his classmates’ projects whenever they’re short of an actor 

Director. His style is making up extreme scenarios to get the emotions he wants out of his actors (“Picture your mom dying! PICTURE IT!”). Gets very into it, but hey, it reaps results. 

Does not pay attention during lectures. His scripts are naturally good, and he usually just wings it during shoots (plus he usually gets put in the same crew as Ludwig, so he’s fine)

The one pro of having Feli in your team is that the catering for your cast and crew is pretty much settled - his family owns a restaurant and they’re very, very generous 

Germany/Ludwig Beilschmidt

Very to the book about everything. Has all the techniques and principles and theories memorised by heart, even though the others (Alfred) tell him that “There’s no rules to art, dude!”

Producer. All his productions run like a well-oiled machine - he has production schedules, and backup schedules for bad case scenarios, and even more backup schedules for worst case scenarios

Not the best at writing dialogue. His scripts tend to come out very stiff, so he usually gets help from Feliciano on that.  

Ludwig tends to push his crew for revisions and re-revisions of scripts, storyboards, rehearsals, etc. weeks before shoots even start, but there’s no denying that his stuff always comes out top of the class

Japan/Kiku Honda

Takes notes for everything. Wears the same hoodie to class every day. Also, his laptop is covered with anime stickers. 

Director of Photography. Works the best with Alfred, because they both have big, bombastic ideas that could come out of an anime or an action movie. Will only shoot with his own personal camera.

Kiku’s scripts are okay. His storyboards are gorgeous, mostly from being the best artist in class (apart from Feliciano). Has a whole ass pencil case with pencils of different graphite darknesses for storyboarding, while people like Ludwig and Alfred only have like a single wooden Ikea pencil. 

Doubles on editing. This is an issue because his laptop keeps jamming from the hundred and one tabs he has running in the background

America/Alfred F Jones

The one issue with Alfred’s scripts are that his main characters are always too overpowered. They’re hecka fun though

Director (and amateur fight scene choreographer). Marvel fanboy who likes doing ‘homage’ shots to his favourite action movies. Almost always chooses to work on comedic productions over dramatic ones

He used to be take Director of Photography roles, but he somehow manages to break/lose at least one equipment per project. He’s cost his teammates more than $3k. He’s not allowed on camera duty anymore. 

Somehow has a bunch of super interesting friends to use as profiles for his documentary projects. He’s also got friends in the drama department (Gilbert, Mathias and Yong-soo) who help act for his scripted ones

England/Arthur Kirkland

Arguably the best writer in class. Arthur’s scripts always get chosen for shoots, without fail. He’s very proud of it.

Producer. He’s organised (enough) and is familiar with paper work to do the job decently well, but can be a little scatter brained at times. Tends to edit his own scripts on the spot in the middle of shoots

Other than that, he’s not great at hands on production. He’s ‘helped’ with camera and sound work before where the camera/boom mics weren’t even switched on for the entirety of the shoot

Always gets put in crews with Francis. Both will not stop complaining about it in public, even though deep down, they know they work well together - they both have a liking for the more artsy, dramatic stuff

France/Francis Bonnefoy

Francis’s scripts aren’t bad, just swings on unrealistic - yes, it’s very poetic and yes it’s very beautiful, but nobody talks like that in real life 

Director of Photography. He watches the most obscure (and in Arthur’s words, pretentious) art house films that nobody else in class has ever heard of. Though, all his own projects come out insanely aesthetic 

If he had it his way, all of the budget would be blown on set design and costumes alone. Luckily for everyone else, he doesn’t get assigned to producer roles

Tends to go for more artsy/dramatic projects with Arthur. Can’t work on comedic ones if his life depended on it

China/Yao Wang

Yao’s scripts are very high concept - historical stuff with hours of research behind each of his pitches. However, they are so high concept that they don’t usually get picked because the school has no budget

Producer. He’s not a visual person, so he can’t help much with directing. He does have crazy good connections though - locations, material releases, wardrobe - he handles pesky admin stuff like it’s nothing

Eats in class, like all the time. He’s doesn’t bother to hide it - he will have his lunch during pitch meetings, and during table reads. He doesn’t give a shit. Good for him. 

Helps with sound during shoots, but he’s short and can barely hold the boom pole over the actors’ heads. Don’t mention this to him. 

Russia/Ivan Braginsky

Goddamn is he good at suspense/horror stuff. Ivan can turn a meet cute into a thriller without meaning to

Director. He’s not as flashy as Alfred, or as melodramatic as Feliciano, but he’s definitely got his own style. Shoots with him are very interesting - he tends to go for more unorthodox methods (some rule breaking involved), but Ivan thrives in the risks and it usually pays off in the end

Tends to come off as intimidating but is actually a real softie. Gets legitimately emotional at his own actors’ performances

Has a little rivalry with Alfred that literally no one else in class (but Alfred) cares about. It doesn’t matter because they both usually get beaten by Feliciano’s team anyway

(no this is not self-indulgent. no i am not avoiding my coursework. no i am not typing this at 4 in the morning when i have school tomorrow. ssssh.)

[thegoodomensdumpster]

Hello! I wanted to ask if maybe you have some opinions on the book fragment that always confuses me - when Satan is about to appear, Aziraphale and Crowley have this exchange: "What a day that was, and no mistake. Good old days." "Not really," said Crowley. The noise was growing. "People knew the difference between right and wrong in those days," said Aziraphale dreamily. "Well, yes. Think about it." "Ah. Yes. Too much messin' about?" "Yes." What do you think they’re referring to? (1/2)

I’ve always read that as Aziraphale feeling nostalgic about the “simpler“ times and Crowley remarking how he and Aziraphale had a hand in making being human harder by all their “messing about“. But isn’t Azraphale kinda referring to the original sin? Which would make Crowley seem like he’s rethinking if he did the bad thing after all? And why does Crowley say "Not really“ in the first place? Idk I just can’t make up my mind so I’d love to hear your opinion bc this fragment has me lost. (2/2)OK so I’m putting screencaps of that part of the book for more context:

( I couldn’t resist including the part where they get to hold hands even though it was technically not needed for this particular discussion.)

Hm. First of all, I think it’s worth mentionning that the whole scene on the airfield was… a bit confusing to me, especially when it came to understanding where everyone was and what they were doing and when. Maybe it’s a professionnal deformation from being a storyboard artist, but when I can’t visualize correctly how things go my brain kinda gets blocked and doesn’t treat informations well. So I was very eager to see how that scene was going to be done in the TV series because in retrospect it helped me make more sense of the scene in the book. But I’m still confused a bit.

So, with that in mind, this is a part of the book that left me with the same interrogations but I didn’t dwell too much on it.

I think the part before that actual bit quoted by the anon is interesting to take into account, because it’s the point where Crowley and Aziraphale take responsibility for all the effects they had on humanity by finally stepping up and protecting them. Before that, it was always the excuse “we’re just doing our jobs”. With them accepting to fight for humanity, on behalf of what they’ve done and on behalf of humanity, they claim that they actually belong to humanity and Earth more than they belong to Heaven, Hell, or any other arbitrary demarcation between mortals and immortals. (And one interesting thing is that Aziraphale compares his and Crowley’s actions to those of other people - humans - who were also just doing their jobs. There is no difference between demons, angels, and humans. )

They chose their side.

And once they have chosen their side, Aziraphale picks his weapon, the one he first gave to humanity (so it comes full circle, which is narratively and symbolicly pretty neat) and that’s when they talk about “what a day that was, good old days.” “Not really.” “Too much messin about?” “Yes.” I think … it wouldn’t surprise me if there was voluntarily enough vagueness in these sentences to be interpreted in different ways. 

What day is Aziraphale referring to? The day he gave his sword to Adam and Eve. The day they got kicked out of Eden. The day they might have eaten the apple and learned the difference between good and bad. The day his relationship with Crowley possibly started. The day he did one genuinely altruistic thing out of instinct, but also the day Crowley told him that maybe it was the bad thing to do. The day nothing could ever be entirely black or entirely white anymore. 

Could this be more about himself that Aziraphale is talking about, about him and Crowley, or about humanity in general? Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, because as I said earlier: they are all the same.

Is the nostalgia about before everything became grey, or before they knew what humanity was capable of, or before they started meddling … I don’t know. Maybe it’s not that clear in Aziraphale’s mind either. 

When Aziraphale says “good old days”, I can’t really say what exactly he’s referring to. But when Crowley replies “not really”, the way I see it, he is telling Aziraphale “things have always been this complicated, you just weren’t able to see it back then”. 

The following part puzzles me a little, because I think GO makes it exceedingly clear that, first temptation aside, humanity would have grown to be exactly the same without Crowley and Aziraphale’s influence. Maybe they punctually brought more good / evil around them, in limited areas every now and then, but their influence was very limited. And it keeps being pointed out that the best and the worst things, humans do entirely on their own, and often one single human can do both terrible and very good things. Humanity is only shades of grey.

It’s hard for me to conceptualize that because Adam and Eve were the first ones to be handled the knowledge of wrong and right (wtf are ethics anyway, they keep changing through time and space, that doesn’t mean anything to begin with) they necessarily saw what was the line between good and evil. Why should it be clear to them and not to their descendants? Why should humanity’s ethics degrade over time (I mean, there seems to be a point of reference that is more or less catholicism, so that is extraordinarily up to debate in itself) ??? It doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe that’s just my atheist ass preventing me from getting a religious understanding, but I give up on that particular bit of dialogue.

The only thing I can make out of it is, as I said, that this is about Crowley and Aziraphale taking responsibility for the consequences of 6000 years spent with humanity and interacting with them. 

If anyone has things - possibly better thought out- to say about this bit of the book, please feel free to add onto this post. 

[thedeaditeslayer]

In Conversation with Bruce Campbell.

Below is a short interview with Bruce Campbell that mostly covers The Evil Dead.

The film tells the story of five friends who take a vacation to an isolated cabin in the woods, and find themselves besieged by demonic forces after playing a tape recording of incantations. One by one they are possessed, and Ash (Campbell) as the last man standing, must survive the gruesome mayhem that upset British conservatism and saw the film labelled as a notorious ‘video nasty.’

Campbell spoke about the slow burn success of the movie, the moral ambiguity of the American audience, and how horror shouldn’t be something you’d hear on the six o’clock news

FRIGHTFEST: What were your expectations for EVIL DEAD in the beginning, and could you have anticipated its eventual success?

BRUCE CAMPBELL: Let’s not forget the time frame – its success was a very slow evolution. It took longer to raise the money than we had intended. We went to a different state to film it thinking it was going to be warmer, when in fact Tennessee had one of its coldest winters, and the state we fled, Michigan, had one of its mildest. So right from the start it was all very troubled.

It took about three years to complete the movie and we could not even find a US distributor. We finally got a UK company to look at it, Palace Pictures, and they finally distributed it. We were not even successful in our own country first, which was a big shock to us. It had to happen in another country first and then New Line Cinema came on board after seeing the success in Europe.

The whole thing was very strange, long and drawn out. I think the rights from EVIL DEAD 2, which was seven years later was when we finally got the investors to break even. So it took a long time for EVIL DEAD to be successful - it was a slow-motion success.

FF: From the responses to the film in the UK and Europe compared to America, is there a difference between these audiences?

BC: Well cynically, one would say in the UK they were more at the centre of the fall of civilisation, so they would appreciate chaos and nightmarish imagery. So that would be one theory for it. I think European audiences are more forgiving, whereas American audiences are a little more morally ambiguous. European girls don’t have the moral ambiguousness about sleeping with some dude – like it’s not thought of as being slutty. If you want to sleep with a guy you sleep with him. In the States, it’s this whole dance of should I, or shouldn’t I? Is it right, is it wrong? It’s the same thing in the States of, “Well that woman’s being violated by a vine in the woods, should I leave, should I stay?” Whereas in the UK it was just an outrageous scene and they probably laughed their asses off. So it’s weird, and it’s different civilisations is really what it is.

FF: When you think about THE EVIL DEAD, do you remember moments from the film or do you recall the experiences behind the scenes?

BC: …All my memories are of the experience of filming it, and then the experience of seeing the finished film in a theatre for the first time. You asked a few questions ago what did you hope to get out of it? We just wanted to make a finished movie, and when the film was completed, it was booked into my childhood theatre where I went to see basically every movie from the 70s.

I saw it on a Saturday matinee and there were only about 30 people in the audience, but I thought, ‘Okay, this is it. We did it. We’re playing our movie on our hometown screen.’ The funny thing is everything was gravy afterwards. The goal was could we figure out a way to get our movie into this professional theatre with Hollywood movies, and that was the fun part. So our definition of success might be different than other people’s, and where a big box office would be definition for some movies, for us it was just the fact we pulled it off.

FF: After sitting there in your local theatre, there was then the moment of thinking about what’s next?

BC: Obviously the first EVIL DEAD allowed us to make another movie, and that was the key thing too. We were very concerned about failing with our first movie, and it was one of the reasons why we made a genre movie in the first place. Most of our amateur movies in high school were not horror movies. Most were action or comedy, occasionally a drama, but mostly they were just silly movies, and so we were concerned about our investors getting their money back. We thought, ‘Well let’s pick a genre, let’s pick horror because it’s cheap, you don’t need any name actors and they can be very successful.’

One of the reasons why it was a horror film in the first place, was not because any of us were great horror aficionados. I was a Three Stooges fan, Sam was a big fan of the Marx Brothers, and I don’t think Rob Tapert was into horror of any kind. It was an economic choice

FF: I recall Quentin Tarantino saying that if you want to write books, read books, and if you want to make films, watch films. But could we argue that there are benefits to being less schooled, that allows for a different approach?

BC: …Very often a filmmaker’s first movie is their best because it’s all hands on deck. They go for broke, they don’t know where the limit is and when they should say, “no.” As a result it can sometimes be very excessive and masturbatory, but I thought Sam did an amazing job with his very first movie.

There’s a sequence in there where Ash is going crazy, and Sam stayed up all night doing storyboards for this sequence where the camera was tilted at a 45 degree dutch angle for every shot. I remember at the time we had discussions about whether that was going to be visually acceptable – could the audience even watch what was happening because it was such an extreme way to film. Sam was saying, “Ash is going crazy, the audience should be going crazy too.” It’s actually one of the best sequences of the movie, and it’s one of the most contemporary sequences because it was ahead of its time.

FF: Ideally, you want the film to endure and to engage with a future audience, and to not be limited to the period in which it’s made. Would you agree with this sentiment?

BC: I think nobody knows until the film is out. In my experience a film that is easy to make, is usually hard to watch. And usually films that are very hard to make, are much easier to watch. There’s just something about it when you know that the filmmakers and the actors have really sweated for a project - generally it tends to be better. If you have enough time to sit around telling movie stories between shots, I don’t think you’re working hard enough.

FF: In recent years we’ve seen torture porn and the celebration of violence to disgust rather than to provoke fear. How do you think THE EVIL DEAD fits into a person’s concept of horror who is watching it for the first time in 2020, compared to the context of horror for the 80s audience?

BC: Horror always changes and maybe it’s generational. It used to be the slasher movie, which was some crazy guy released from an institution and with an axe type concept. Then torture porn came in for a while and I’m very happy to see that go, only because it doesn’t celebrate the skill of filmmaking. You put a guy’s dick in a vice and poke it with a stick for half an hour, that’s not really horror. It’s just something you might hear on the six o’clock news.

The real success of a horror movie is getting someone to feel the atmosphere, to feel dread and to actually jump out of their seat. To build to a climatic scare is something that takes an incredible amount of skill between the filmmakers and the actors, and everyone involved. I’m just a big fan of if you’re going to do a horror movie, then it should be scary, but there’s a lot of different ways that something can be scary.

THE SIXTH SENSE I feel is a very disturbing movie, but there’s very little blood and violence in the whole thing. The movie THE TENENT, which is one of my favourite horror movies by [Roman] Polanski, it’s all mental. It’s actually making you think you’re going crazy, and that’s a skill. I’m a big fan of any horror that takes skill.

FF: I always admired that beyond the blood and the violence, it feels like you’re trapped, and you’re slowing succumbing to the oppressive claustrophobia, the gruelling psychological and emotional experience.

BC: The situation was real enough that it permeated into all of us. It was a real abandoned cabin down about a half a mile of road in the middle of nowhere. There was no electricity and no running water. It actually had some creepy history - a woman had fled there during a lightning storm, when someone was murdered at the cabin. So it all helped us to feel the reality.

We were only supposed to film for six weeks and we filmed for twelve. As the film dragged on, people were injured, they left, equipment broke, and it all added up and started to feel real after a while [laughs].

It permeated the movie because back in those days, if Ash hears a sound and swings his shotgun and blows out a window, that’s what you did. You used a real shotgun and you just blew out the window. We just did stuff viscerally back then, but with ASH VS EVIL DEAD, it’s all digital at that point. There’s no real shotgun show, no smoke, that’s digital too, there’s no flash, that’s added later. So I’m glad we made at least one of these movies completely analogue, and just about as real as you’re going to get.

[bluedaviau]

「 cherry. rachel hilson. cis female. she/her. 」 are you ready for the time of your life, BLUE DAVIAU? the TWENTY ONE year old FINE ART graduate from tulane is ready to HOT AIR BALLOON  in DUBAI this semester. close friends would describe them as IDEALISTIC and CREATIVE, but there’s really only one way to find out. get ready for what august has in store for you, BLUE ! 「 pepper. twenty one. est. she/her. 」

ABOUT THE MUN.  the 2000 claymation film chicken run radicalized me

what up, i’m pepper, i’m twenty four, and not to flex but i’ve had writer’s block for two str8 months !! but i’m hoping to change that right here right now with one ms. blue daviau so thank you for coming on this journey with me friends it’s gonna be wild. a bit about me is i’ve gone to the mall literally every day this week and honestly, i am Exhausted from it so i apologize for the mess this intro is about to be. i’m a taurus with a libra moon and libra rising so do with that information what you will. my favourite pokemon is mewtwo. growing up i had a massive crush on danny phanton and ben 10, like i loved those lanky boys that could transform to fight crime for some reason?? i can’t tell you why. also when i was a child i thought god looked like king triton from the little mermaid. alright that is enough about me, moving on to blue. 

BIO.  if you use my coloured pencils you better put them back in rainbow order

this is going to be the short version of her bio but if you want to see the long rambly messy version you can find my google doc/app here ! which i recommend you looking at for no other reason than to see how cute the little cherry doodle i inserted in there is. it took me so long to get that in there and looking cute. it’s baby’s first fancy google doc 😌 anyways sdjhdsjh 

blue was born and raised in hawaii! her mother, stormi, was miss hawaii state at one point and her father, reggie, was a pro surfer! however before blue was born her father had a surfing accident that left him in a wheelchair. he turned to art to try to cope with the trauma of this accident and the reality of never being able to surf again, and he even opened up his own gallery! his gallery became a tourist attraction in hawaii and pretty well known in the art community and after passing down her crown blue’s mother became a news anchor. so the fact was blue was the daughter of two local legends in hawaii and the expectations were high!

not to mention the fact that all of blue’s elder siblings were amazing too. blue has five older siblings and all of them are successful in their own right and in their own niche. they’re also all named after colours funnily enough. the daviau parents had big hippy energy in case you were wondering. 

so growing up blue was always just kind of the ‘other’ sibling. all her older siblings had showed their talents at a young age and grew into them pretty quickly, while blue was just kind of... there. she was an artist, but she wasn’t a groundbreaking artist. she could sing, but her voice was simply pretty, not lifechanging. she could surf, but she was average at best. to put it simply, blue was the daviau sibling who wasn’t at all special. which ironically, made her stand out like a sore thumb. 

blue didn’t mind too much though, at least not when she was younger. she kept to herself anyways. all blue wanted do when she was younger was read, draw, and explore hawaii’s wild life, so she had everything she could possibly need to be happy right at her fingertips. life was good for her despite her inadequacy, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of it (and wouldn’t develop a complex about it later).

when blue was six though her parents decided that they needed to have sweet, sweet, baby number seven to save their marriage. they named that sweet boy gray. he did not save a damn thing, but he sure was cute. blue was eleven when her parents finally divorced and that pretty much marked the end of blue having any kind of parental guidance. 

long story short, both of blue’s parents went kinda buckwild the moment they were single and most of the responsibility to take care of five year old gray fell on blue. blue was the one to make gray’s meals. blue was the one to give gray a bath. blue was the one to tuck gray in at night and get him into his school clothes in the morning. blue was the one to help him with his homework and hold his hand as he crossed the street and honestly pretty much do everything for him until she was about seventeen. both her parents simply checked out on that front, and it the end blue was more of a mother to gray than either of their parents were. 

the pressure of having to not only take care of herself but also gray when she wasn’t even legally an adult yet, was honestly way too much for blue. her anxiety skyrocketed, and the pressure she put on herself only grew. the only way blue could really cope with it and calm herself down was by 1. losing herself in nature, 2. drawing, or 3. reading, or rather most likely, doing all of the above at once. using art of an escape pretty much guaranteed that blue’s love and passion for it grew, and with that her talent for it. by that time blue was seventeen she had a full portfolio ready to send off to any university outside of hawaii that would take her. because you bet your bottom dollar your girl was getting the hell outta there!

as we all know blue got accepted to tulane. it was hard to leave gray and her family behind, but blue set her mother and father straight before she left, ensuring that gray would be well taken care of in her stead and hoping that some distance between herself and her family that was so dependent on her (her mother never new how to cook so blue made all the meals, her father never knew how to handle gray so he was always coming to blue to advice, gray was absolutely lost without her, etc) would lift that pressure off her shoulders. 

it didn’t at first. the first few months were tough with all the calls blue got from home. that plus the schoolwork she had on her plate almost left her more stressed than before. however, slowly the calls began to fade and slowly blue was able to put her full focus in her art program, and later, her animation programs. 

sorry folks my brain is fried, we’re gonna stop here!

HEADCANNONS. on all levels except physical i am sitting on top of the moon with my legs swinging back and forth

Blue’s father is in a wheelchair from the surfing accident that made him take up art. His past as a professional surfer is actually part of the reason why his gallery is so popular though honestly, because the accident was televised and after that tragedy many of his fans and the public wanted to support him. He just also so happened to be really talented. But yeah, Blue’s father was really talented at surfing, he was even invited to the summer olympics in the nineties! But he was also the type to refuse to go because ‘surfing should be freeing, the olympics have so many restrictions, it takes away from what surfing is!!’ dkjsd he was that type yk? I also imagine Blue’s parents were the type to be on the front lines at protests. As it is, Blue is the same, very passionate, definitely has made some bomb ass posters and t-shirts for every women's march she’s attended.

Blue can play the ukulele really well and she honestly has a really pretty singing voice. However she can’t dance even a little bit. Honestly, she could literally break a bone. Really wants to throw it back though 😔

Loves to bake and cook because they’re relaxing activities with built in rewards. Learned to bake and cook because of having to take care of herself and her brother's meals when she was younger, that is if she didn’t want them both to literally get diabetes. As it is though, now that she doesn’t have to worry about her baby brother’s diet as well as her own, she will make a whole chocolate cake just cause she’s a little stressed and proceed to actually eat it. But she will share though. Catch Blue coming to your hotel room with sweets.

All of Blue’s elder siblings are adults now, but Gray is still about sixteen. They exchanged letters from Hawaii to Tulane and Blue always spends hours decorating hers and including little snacks and cute little knick knacks in them, despite the fact that Gray is now an angsty teenager and does not find these things as entertaining as he used to. Despite that, they are definitely the closest out of their siblings for the most part.

Blue’s siblings' names are Sage, Jett, Jade, Ruby, Rose and of course Gray. Jade and Jett, and Ruby and Rose are both twins.

The type to cry easily honestly. Also the type to carry other people’s problems with her. Like if you tell Blue that someone hurt your feelings last week she will remember and she will check on you the next time she sees you. Very empathetic, almost to a fault though because she’s constantly being careful of everyone else’s feelings rather than her own. The type who’s a good listener though. Also the type to give either really good advice or really odd advice.  

Art still tends to be her happy place, something she got from her father. Trying to find her own place outside of her father's shadow. She wants to get into the world of animation and cartoons but the whole task is a bit daunting. Is planning to work her ass off for it though! Spends a lot of time in coffee shops storyboarding and making animations. I think she may have a contract going on with a cartoon network of some sort, like they may have picked up a show of hers? Because I imagine her putting out some of her first shorts on Youtube and that might have gotten a bit of attention and led to her getting a deal for a show, so. She’s probably working her ass off towards that, and is honestly probably 1.doubting if they really picked up her show because of her talent or her father’s name, and 2.wondering if she can really do this.

Loves water in all shapes and forms. Since she can’t go to the beach everyday, the small bath in her tiny ass apartment??? Suddenly heaven. That said, Blue is either terrified of the ocean or loves it and I can’t decide which. Standby on that.

Makes a great coffee cake. Like it’s to die for.

Is VERY passionate about the environment. Is a pescatarian. Goes to the farmers market to pick out fresh produce. Loves to hike.

Always has the urge to sketch or paint after she reads poetry or novels. Highlights her favourite bits and has the tendency to read them over when she’s sad. The parts she loves are usually the parts that leave her wanting something.

Draws when she’s sad too. Claire Saffitz energy when she’s cooking but also just through life. Very friendly, but an introvert when it comes to gathering her energy.

Lives for libraries and bookstores, and has stacks on stacks of books in her old apartment. Loves old children's books honestly, like The Secret Garden, and poetry. Like whimsical and fantastical fiction with flowery words that just brings you to another place? Blue’s freaking jam. Falls in love with someone in fiction every five days, and desperately wants to be in love in real life, hence all the tinder dates and blind dates. I don’t think Blue ever has fallen in love though, like not really.

An absolute baby when it comes to the cold. Literally there could be a slight breeze and Blue will be acting like she’s suddenly in the arctic.  Any cold destinations will be greeted by a bundled up Blue’s Clues.

Made her first painting out of her own feces at six months old. Her parents proudly framed it. It’s probably still up in the attic in their Hawaii home.

Won her first art show at six but was unsure whether it was because her art really was something worth awarding or because of her father’s name. The award got her on the front page of the Honolulu Tribune but with her father proudly at her back and the title ‘Following in her father’s footsteps’ above her head. Blue just wants to find her own footing in the art world, and be her own person.

Keeps a journal and has since she was a teenager.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i’m the friend that needs help opening water bottles. 

coming to theatres near you soon!

[choupichoups]

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.6

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

He hasn’t heard from Eliott since Sunday. 

The professor’s monotone drawling fades out to the background as Lucas flips between the apps on his phone-- a foolish attempt to keep himself from opening up the one he actually wants to check on.

Eliott hasn’t posted anything since the Saturday they were together.

He contemplates sending a message but he can’t think of a good conversation starter. Saying a simple hello is super lame. Eliott always starts their chats with a clever line. How does he come up with those, anyway? Lucas would really appreciate a little insight right now. 

Lucas barely notices his classmates leaving the room and he scrambles to follow along, pocketing his phone so he’d stop staring at it already. 

He’s only taken a couple of steps outside when a vaguely familiar boy with shaven head almost rams right into him. 

“Shit, sorry!” Lucas steps aside at the last minute and the other boy’s arms do a hilarious windmill to keep balance. Neither of them end up on the floor so that’s awesome.

“Sorry!” The boy shouts back, looking at Lucas with wide eyes and a half formed grin. Lucas flinches, trying to hide the double take he almost does. This guy has the brightest green eyes a stark contrast to his dark skin and a bone structure that can cut glass. If he isn’t so ass over head infatuated with Eliott, his brain would probably register just how beautiful this person is. “Lucas?”

It takes a bit for him to realize that it’s weird how this person correctly guesses his name. “Uh, why?” 

“Idris!” The boy -- Idris? Instagram Idris? -- says, enthusiasm evident in his voice. “I’m Idris, I mean. Eliott sent me.” 

“Eliott... sent you?” Lucas keeps walking, not wanting to block the way to the classroom. Idris keeps up beside him. “But where is he?” 

Idris hands him a cup of hot chocolate-- it’s the one Lucas gets once a month to reward himself for not keeling over in stress. 

“He’s holed up in the library,” Idris says while Lucas’s still blinking down at the cup in his hands. “We have a project due very soon, me and him. We have to finish the storyboard.” 

Okay, it’s been two days though. Lucas just hopes they’re getting enough rest. He’s seen a lot of the other film students walking from building to building like dried up zombies. 

Idris keeps going before Lucas gets a word in. “His phone’s on airplane mode.” Lucas nods, watching Idris rub a hand over the top of his head. “Mine too, we do this thing. So we only focus on one thing at a time, you know.” 

Lucas starts to smile as Idris looks at him, slightly wide-eyed. He has a feeling this guy’s been running on pure caffeine since the weekend. “Okay.”

“My point is, he’s not ignoring you.” 

“I didn’t think so.” 

“Good. God, I told him he’s overreacting.” 

Lucas laughs, holding the hot chocolate to his chest. “He’s doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Idris scoffs, waving a dismissive hand. “He forgot to tell you about the whole project thing before, you know, shutting the world out so he’s been freaking out about it.” 

“Why?”

“He thinks you’d forget about him.”

“What?” Lucas laughs louder. “That’s dumb.”

“Yeah, well.” Idris shrugs, his laughter coming out in choppy chuckles. “Anyway, I’ve gotta get back to work, nice to meet you!” 

“You too.” Lucas takes a step backward, smiling to himself as he sips at the hot chocolate. From Eliott. How did Eliott know about his favourite campus drink? “Idris!” He calls out before the other boy is completely out of sight.

Idris turns, raising an eyebrow.

“Good luck with the project! And tell him me forgetting him is the last thing he has to worry about.” He says in a rush, half of him hoping Idris doesn’t hear him but the other half hoping the opposite as he doesn’t think he can repeat that without combusting.

Idris opens his mouth as if to say something but then he settles for a pout, both hands shooting up to clutch at his chest. “Fuck, you really are adorable.” 

Lucas turns away and brisk walks towards the next building. 

Yann drops down beside him in the middle of Lucas doing his homework. He can feel Yann staring at him, but, infuriating best friend that he is, Yann doesn’t say anything as he does it. 

“What?” Lucas breaks the silence, putting his pen down.

“What?” Yann returns, opting for the most innocent of tones. It doesn’t work.

“Spill it.” 

“Nothing, man.” Yann looks down at the phone sitting innocently between them. “Just, you know, wondering if I should round up the guys to properly meet Eliott.”

That gets Lucas’ attention. “Why?”

Yann’s left eye twitches the slightest bit. “You can’t tell me there’s nothing between you two.”

“Well, there’s a thing.” Lucas shuts his textbook, losing any sort of motivation he had going earlier. “But there’s no thing.”

“Uh, okay?” 

“He’s not my man or anything.”

“Why not?” Yann asks, incredulous like it’s easy. Or maybe for him it really is that easy.

“I don’t know, we haven’t really talked about it?” 

He opens up instagram to a new private message, eyes narrowing when he sees the username.

emir.yous hey

lucallemant hi

emir.yous I heard you’re good at chem??

lucallemant I guess 

emir.yous can you help me with somethin I think my brain’s melting

lucallemant ok, imane’s better than me though you can ask Abe to ask her?

emir.yous no she’ll think I'm stupid

lucallemant lol 

“Lucas, his friends are messaging you.” Yann deadpans, obviously having read the conversation over Lucas’ shoulder because fuck manners apparently. “I think that’s a good indication of where he wants it to go.” 

“I don’t-- I don’t know, Yann. What if-- I don’t know him that well.”

“Yet.”

“But what if I... I don’t wanna get too attached and then for it to blow up in my face.” Lucas fidgets with his pen, twirling it restlessly between all fingers until Yann stills him with a gentle touch. 

“Lucas, not everyone will be like that.”

“How do you know?” 

“You’ve got to give people a chance to prove you wrong.”

“No one’s done it yet.” 

His phone pings again, but this time it’s from a different person. Yann looks down at it and Lucas can see the hint of a smile fighting to lift his expression. “I don’t think you’re the one who needs to worry about getting attached.” 

abebkhellal what are those chocolates you gave him? he won’t even let me take a bite 

lucallemant I can get you some if you want

abebkhellal bro I’d love that  but I also love my life and eliott will probably murder me in cold blood if you gave me the same chocolates you gave him

lucallemant lol I'm sorry 

abebkhellal just show me where you get them I’ll buy some myself

lucallemant okay sure

Yann’s smiling when Lucas looks back up at him. “He talks about you with his friends.” 

“I’m pretty sure they’re just cornering me into meeting them.” Lucas chuckles, sliding his phone inside his hoodie pockets. “And I talk about him with you guys too, it’s no big deal.” 

“Are you kidding me? You never talked about Ra--”

“Anyway, what are we doing? Is this a slumber party now?”

Yann rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Are we exchanging our deepest, darkest secrets?”

“That’s not how it goes.”

“Oh, so you’re the master of slumber parties now?”

“Yeah,” Yann shuffles lazily towards the backpack he’d thrown on the ground earlier. “Only slumber party invitees get to play this.” He pulls out the new game he’s just bought while skipping class in the morning, waving it around with a flourish as Lucas gapes up at it.

“No way, that’s so expensive.”

“Yeah, I saved up.”

“Nerd.”

“Then don’t play it.”

“No, let me!”

“Slumber party people only!”

“There are two of us, I’m the one making this a party!”

“No, you’re not even wearing pyjamas!” 

Lucas sleepily watches the television screen, fingers barely moving over the controls as he lets the final boss crush his character for the nth time. Beside him, Yann’s already passed out on the couch. 

He stretches out with a groan as quiet as he can manage, reaching over Yann to grab the remote and shut the screen off. He’s about to head to bed when his hands smack against the phone still in his pockets, and his fingers automatically open up instagram before his brain even registers the movement.

srodulv you’re welcome

Lucas smiles, not exactly hating the flutter in his stomach at seeing Eliott back in his messages. 

lucallemant no longer on the plane?

srodulv haha I've landed

lucallemant welcome back how did the assignment go?

srodulv it was okay

lucallemant  okay that’s good 

srodulv can I see you again?

lucallemant I mean, it’s a bit late 

srodulv what are you talking about? 03h is the best time to go out and live our lives

lucallemant  lol stop that

srodulv careful, you might hurt my feelings again

lucallemant so?

srodulv so you’re running out of ways to apologize :)

lucallemant lol 

srodulv are you free on Thursday?

lucallemant what’s with you and Thursdays?

srodulv favourite day of the week 

lucallemant  lol weirdo

srodulv :) so?

lucallemant okay 

srodulv okay, I'll wait for you outside your class

lucallemant  how do you know where that is?

srodulv :)

lucallemant  stalker

srodulv says the original stalker

lucallemant lol go to sleep eliott

srodulv  good night ❤️

Lucas lays awake for a while after, tracking the cracks in the ceiling as his mind replays Yann’s words. You have to give people a chance to prove you wrong. He’s tried so many times, and every failure does nothing but strengthen the walls he’s trying so hard to scratch past. 

But maybe. 

Maybe this time.

Maybe.

lucallemant  good night  ❤️

Maybe Eliott deserves that chance. 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 9: Denial on so Many Fronts

I’ve managed to have a pretty open timeslot this holiday, where I decided I was going to do lots of catch up work. (I have instead filled up my Background Music Playlist with lots of youtube piano covers of Castlevania.)

So of course I find myself back at this blog to fill the leftover time, it being so many weeks (months, actually) since I was able to do a double update weekend (spoiler, I did not finish a second update  :) ).

This episode, Yugioh decided to legitimately enter romance territory and y’all it is something. And I don’t mean it in a “Ain’t that something!” sort of way, I mean it in the “That is...something.” Kind of way. And for the first time in forever, I actually have to talk about romance today. For once that is actually something this episode is about. For about 5 entire minutes. It’s staggering.

So lets get into it because the stance the show decides to take against the only valid romantic relationship it’s had outside of Pegasus sure is something.

Duke has managed to get inside Pegasus’ facility/Place Duke works at every single day. Incredible that he finally made it inside of his actual workplace. Whether he just found an open door or Metal Geared up a trash chute is undeclared, since that was all off screen between episodes, but maybe he has to do this like...all the time? Like heaven forbid Duke ever leave his phone at the office because this place seems iron clad and apparently there is absolutely no one he can call to let him in.

Like for reals isn’t Duke upper level management or something? Like a team director for an entire model of card game? Wtv, I guess he got demoted at some point and now he’s at the same level as a Google temp.

Duke used to air on international TV, just throwing that out there. He used to be a very big deal. Course, for all we know, maybe he also got locked out of his game store all the freakin time?

Anyway, he finds some random room he’s decided is the security room and uh...

Starts just mashing buttons.

I assume that he was just mashing the entire time it took for this duel to last, PS, because we all know that password, but does Duke? Is Duke, in fact, the only character left on this show that doesn’t know Pegasus’ password because he wasn’t there in most of S1?

(read more under the cut)

As Joey is playing Mai, he’s noticed that she is freaking out, but only intermittently. She’s going in between personalities like Yugi and Pharaoh.

In the show it makes it seem like she’s “Snapping out of it” as far as the Orichalcos’ effects go. But like...becoming a stumbling crying mess in between card draws is sort of like...not making Joey look like a good guy.

In fact, this episode goes out of their way to try and paint him a hero but they didn’t accomplish that. They start to. It starts to look like that. As Mai is breaking down, she loses her weird Oricalchos ability to no longer feel fear, and Joey takes the opportunity to try and get her to away from the dark side.

Thing is, the duel has already started so it’s kind of moot now since neither she nor Joey really know how to end the duel without killing the other. So it’s like he’s trying to reach out to her the only way he can since this duel wasn’t his choice anyway, but it is in a way that is killing both of them. Symbolism, I guess. 

You know, it seemed like the show just needed a way to put a timer over Joey’s head and this was the only excuse they could give because the right thing to have done is just not play anything.

And that whole thing last episode where Pharaoh was like “there is ONE way out of this situation” I assumed would be about a tie. I kind of just assumed a tie would take place like between Kaiba and Alister...instead...it got weird.

First off, Valon--out of all people, Valon the drug card pusher of the wacky accent--decided to be more heroic than any of our heroes who are currently just gawking at a force field.

It’s been like 4 seasons since Yugi jumped and hung off the edge of a clocktower, only holding on by the point of his pyramid puzzle, and I keep seeing situations where we could see Yugi impress us yet again and instead he keeps his feet planted firmly on the ground while random ass Valon just shoots into the air like a rubber band.

Why didn’t I just assume that when Pharaoh said “I know how to beat this.” he meant to punch it directly in the face?

I’m pretty sure it’s an allusion to the fact that Oricalchos takes away your sense of fear that these three are constantly being huge idiots and jumping off ledges and out of airplanes but like...

...they are wearing a lot of padding, to be fair.

(I joke about Joey getting possessed as if he hasn’t been already)

And so Valon, this evil as hell villain who’s probably killed countless numbers of people up until now just starts freaking out about Mai. Like, a lot for this show. Like we even get a really awkward death squeeze. And like she ain’t even dead.

Almost like Severus Snape in that awkward Harry Potter Movie flashback, but Valon actually dated her once (I could go off about the Harry Potter movies but I’ll spare you.) It’s just every time Mai passes out there will be some man crying over her that she doesn’t even seem remotely aware of when she’s awake.

Like remember how Mai got engaged and she forgot? At the time I thought that was super weird but I’m starting to realize she probably just took a nap or something and then boom.

So although none of this is Raphael’s business, he’s so annoyed at Valon for possibly pissing off Darts that he decides to deflect his anger onto Pharaoh--who wasn’t even participating in this duel.

I mean Raphael wanted to kill Pharaoh anyway but it still feels like kind of a reach.

Speaking of reach...I miss our really good storyboarder. Check out that foreshortened hand. Man Yugioh, the whiplash from good to eh. It’s so much whiplash.

So, in a burst of green light, the three bikers vanish.

And I guess now they can just use Mai’s bike whenever, because it’s not like she’s gonna use it. But I doubt very much Tristan will remember that.

And so, this is about where this episode’s romance goes a little weird because Joey just...

Am I supposed to want Joey to break up Valon and Mai? Like I know one time Joey attempted to take a fireball for her (but didn’t, that was Pharaoh, who isn’t currently crying about Mai despite taking a fireball for her), and then another time Joey dueled Marik for her (and lost.) But like...then Joey lost touch with her for over a year and legitimately didn’t seem bothered until just now when she showed up.

Valon not only seems at least 2 years older than Joey, he’s also stuck around with her for longer than a week, which is much longer than the amount of time that Joey Wheeler has spent with her (while she was conscious). And listen I don’t ship, you know me, but I feel like the show isn’t doing a good job to convince me that Valon is anything but loyal to Mai. Just throwing that out there.

It just comes off that Joey is jealous and unable to cope with Mai being around another guy, when it’s like...Joey...Mai was gone for over a year. You can’t claim dibs anymore. It’s possessive this episode to a degree I don’t think the writers wanted to go. It feels like an accident that they wrote him like this.

I guess, story wise, Joey needs a reason to duel and be on this show--but why must it always gravitate around a girl who’s actually just fine without him?

Like Mai right now is a mess but she wants to be this mess. Personally I think he should respect her decision and give her space but I guess this show really wants to go the angle of “If your friend goes off the deep end, dive after them” to which I would like to say “or don’t.”

Like I think this is all on a case by case basis, but...Mai’s MURDERED people (and a gas station). Although one of them was Pegasus, who doesn’t count, this is still a situation where you should maybe avoid your friend and just call the cops already. If there has been a murder, especially if there’s been over 20 murders, it’s OK to finally call the cops. Mai is a SERIAL MURDERER, which should never mean “she can come back.”

I mean it’s not like any of these kids decided to start hanging out with Marik, right? And I mean they kinda all decided unanimously that maybe they should hold back chilling with Bakura? This should be old hat for them now. They’ve had to deal with the murderous betraying friend so many times. Why must Mai be so special?

But I guess that is Joey’s whole shpeal, isn’t it? That’s Joey’s magical superpower? He wouldn’t be friends with Yugi if he was bothered by his friend occasionally going Pure Asshole. And Joey did have a darker background himself (which is something the show keeps telling me but I have never actually seen because we haven’t seen it in Season Zero. Which honestly means I should do a Season Zero next because how long am I going to wait to watch that Joey backstory?)

So I guess I should stop being so practical about it, this is a fantasy story, and the fantasy of Joey Wheeler is that he can actually try to keep the people in his life from going topside and it actually works. The most magical person in all of Yugioh if that’s true because you ever try and change a drug addict? There’s a reason why they have therapists for that.

Speaking of topside,

Kaiba just shows up in the middle of a Joey meltdown and youknow what? He’s barely even that surprised that these guys are in San Fransisco crying on the floor of his ex-competitor’s lobby. He’s just so used to this.

And so, we’re all going to ignore Joey and just try not to notice Rex and Weevil and instead talk about cards.

Ps in the show Mokuba says his brother “swept the floor” of Alister when like...Seto nearly died multiple times. Mokuba’s so ready to lie his face off to save his brother’s face when like...no one asked. He just volunteered this information.

That and Mokuba might not actually know how this game is played (NO ONE REALLY KNOWS) and legitimately thinks his brother did really good in that card game. We still don’t know entirely what the title “Battle Commissioner” even meant and knowing this company it was probably a secret job made to hide lots and lots of illicit insider trading. Because we all know Mokuba wasn’t playing cards.

So, Yugi remembers that he has this key card that is a card with a key printed on it, and figures...it probably opens a door or something. That maybe they should do that thing they came to California to do, and since all (counts on fingers) 9 of them (10 if you count Pharaoh) are here, they may as well all do it together.

Meanwhile, every animator in that studio cried a single tear over the amount of bad hair they will have to shove into every frame between 9 of these people. Crowd scenes wow.

And what’s great about this next shot is that you have no idea which way Joey’s head is pointed. I dare you. take it in.

And so they all go up to the top floor with Duke Devlin while these two are just...still here.

Rex and Weevil are still here. Despite everything.

(forgive me if this is a joke I forgot I read off of tumblr once. I’ve been reviewing this show so long I just...I don’t remember what jokes I’ve already made)

(Also, I can’t believe they stuck in Rex and Weevil but didn’t put in Mokuba into this shot.)

So they open the cryptic door with the cryptic Keycard and enter...Pegasus’ room of toon suits.

I imagine he just pulls these out whenever there’s an event in the city, just like “Hell yes hell yes it’s Bay to Breakers time to be a parrot with boobs for some reason.”

(fun fact, despite the weather, SF is home to 3 clothes-optional beaches. You can see two of them from the Bridge.)

And so Pegasus decides to tell everybody what we already know. Rex and Weevil have overheard this, but they’re busy like...looking for trading cards in all these mascot suits. Whatever makes it easier for this team of animators. Like you never really think about it, but kid’s shows have just a hell ton of crowd scenes. Worse than a Marvel comic right here.

PS, if you are designing a comic or a drawn story of any degree--just never allow a party to be more than 4 people at a time, Kill off anyone you have to in order to make this happen, you’ll thank me later. Never EVER a draw a crowd scene. Once you do, then other people will think that you can draw crowd scenes, and you never, ever want anyone to know that.

It was nice of Pegasus to let Arthur Hawkin’s take the fame for Atlantis, I guess. But like...Pegasus just...he really doesn’t seem to care about the fate of humanity unless it inconveniences his card game.

Bro brought up “how much do you think Pharaoh even knows about America other than it’s a place across the sea that Rebecca lives? Like do you think that he has a good grasp on there being 7 continents?” and I’m guessing...not much. Course this is like a weird America with mesas and deserts in Napa so...I don’t know if the animators have a good grasp even.

Anyway, where do you think the key is?

And What do you think the key is?

So in the show Kaiba sees this card and goes “It’s a worthless card” (because I dunno maybe he forgot for the zillionth time that this was how he got turned into a playing card) and then Pharaoh replies “Maybe to you it is.” and like...

...You know the thought crossed Pharaoh’s mind.

To just put a little Seto in there.

Youknow, it took me 4 seasons but I can deffo see why and how Pegasus did it. If I were in Pegasus’ shoes, how long would it take me before the Kaiba kids are paper? Like 10-20 minutes tops? Especially with how completely insane Kaiba acts this episode?

And speaking of endless denial, Joey still hasn’t quite caught up to the plot.

He’s getting there, but he’s mentally still crying on the floor of the lobby.

Just Joey going all ham about a girl he hasn’t thought about in over a year. And then from the other side of the room, Kaiba is still coming to terms with Ep 2.

Like you have to hand it to Duke Devlin that not once in this entire series has he had a denial meltdown. Even Yugi had a denial meltdown (at several points) but Duke? Duke’s just winging it. Dukes just has no idea what’s happening or what he’s doing and is just winging it every second he’s been alive. He’d fit right into San Fransisco.

Like remember Duke hangs out in the bad parts of the Tenderloin for some reason, he deals with PG&E just deleting your power willy nilly and still making you pay for it, Comcast, Bay Area traffic, and, of course, the entire North Bay lighting on fire once a year, so he’s totally fine when it comes to cards.

And so Yugi, just unable to think of any solution to Kaiba being a wall just holds this up

And so with that, Kaiba has joined the party. I guess.

Well, back to eating this large stack of holiday cookies. Hope y’all have a good one--happy holidays! 

It’s been a very weird year, but we’ve had some good news here in the States recently, I’m sure you all heard about it, that Inktober is legally unprofitable so now that means there will be nigh an Inktober ever again, and I am so stoked. I am so excited that the decade of hellish Inktobers is finally over.

That and the other stuff that happened but we won’t get into that ;)

Hopefully I’ll do another post before 2020 but I’m sort of in denial that 2020 is happening so I’m doing my best not to look at the calendar.

And if you just got here, this is where you can read my recaps in Chrono order from S1 Ep1

[nightslain]

So I guess it’s that time of day where I get up on my soap box to once again talk about the incongruities and gaping chasms in the Netflixvania plot that have yet to be addressed, specifically those that strengthen the case for why shoehorning Leon into this mess divorced of his supporting cast and story is probably a Bad Idea. 

TL;DR I am perpetually tortured by the fact nothing makes sense right now so I am going to whinge exhaustively in a post to exorcise myself of misery and potentially spare my poor friend’s ears.

So. The show’s version of the origin story has not been properly detailed in any meaningful length except for the fact that a) Leon is indeed the patriarch of the Belmont family and b) he entered Wallachia specifically to hunt for Dracula. Sounds like the same story beats from LoI at face value, but just like everything else about this house of cards, it completely falls apart under the faintest bit of scrutiny. I’ve beat the dead horse of Mathias no longer being canon enough as it is, but Mathias is arguably the most pivotal character in the entire story. You cannot make a Castlevania adaptation that excludes his history and expect it to make actual sense. If you remove Mathias, you dismantle every facet of the plot in one fell swoop, especially if you’re going to try and wedge Leon Belmont into your story without him. The two are mutually exclusive, you cannot have one without the other unless you completely rewrite the canon to follow a wholly different trajectory that is free of those trappings (i.e Lords of Shadow, which I do not like, but I appreciate that it was trying to do something totally different and therefore don’t take great issue with it.)

And I would have accepted this level of reimagining was the show’s intention, if Leon wasn’t paid such a heaping dose of aggressive lip service to indisputably assert him as this universe’s Belmont patriarch as well. But put in context with the rest Ellis’ interpretation as is, this just ends up making no God damn sense.

Dracula has been explicitly stated to be the first vampire to exist in this universe. That solidly affirms that Mathias is not canon, so therefore Leon’s history with him is also non existent. So in turn, that logically means Walter Bernhard also never existed, Mathias never hatched that elaborate plot with him to betray Leon, Sara was never kidnapped, Leon never had to rescue her, she was never bitten by Walter, her soul was never sacrificed to make the Vampire Killer. So what did happen, then? If Dracula was never Mathias, then what the fuck was he up to in the 11th century? Getting his distance mirror apparently, which he made an oddly specific point of mentioning he acquired 400 years prior to the events of season two, which would have been approximately 1075. This would leave us 19 years prior to Lament of Innocence, so presumably Dracula was already a vampire when Leon was just a child. Which in itself just more effectively dispatches any expectations of their history together being the same or even just similar to what it was in LoI. 

Albeit, Trevor treats us to some pretty loaded exposition in saying that the Belmont family hailed from France, moving to Wallachia when “the dark things all moved into the east”--followed by Alucard affirming that Leon was in Wallachia looking specifically for Dracula. So Dracula and his monsters were obviously in France at some point in this canon causing a stink that attracted Leon’s notice--we also have evidence of this with one of the storyboard artists drawing Leon in his knightly garb slaying said monsters. But if Dracula was never Mathias in Ellis’ interpretation, what was he even doing dicking around in France in the first place? And furthermore, what did he do to convince Leon to chase him into the east as well as devote his life and the life of every Belmont after him to killing Dracula specifically? Because it’s gonna be a pretty weak downgrade in motivation from the original story if he just wants to kill Dracula because Vampires Are Evil ™, or Dracula just offhandedly killed someone important to him without nary a drop of history behind them to give it weight.

Also another discrepancy between these two canons is Leon is still a knight when he goes into the east whereas he gave up his knighthood in the games; this is quite boldly showcased by his depiction in that big ass painting as well as the fact his sword is present in the Belmont hold--which is also coincidentally the thing that kills Dracula, not the Vampire Killer. And oh yeah, how the fuck is the Vampire Killer here if the whole plot behind its existence has been effectively erased? I repeat, it’s going to be a weak downgrade if it came from anything less than the tragedy of Sara Trantoul’s sacrifice--which its starting to seem like it will be, based on everything else that’s been exorcised from the show canon.

There’s just no sensible way to knit these two interpretations together at this point if Ellis is going to dig in his heels and maintain that Dracula’s history as Mathias is not part of his vision, so I really can’t say I’m sure what in God’s name he’s going to inject into the story to fill this gaping hole he’s gnawed into the canon. I strongly believe Leon should just have been quietly excluded if the most vital elements of his story have been erased along with Mathias as well. I would not be here complaining about this at all if Leon hadn’t been forced into this version of Castlevania unnecessarily, which then just opened up a black hole of inconsistencies. Why even add him? Why have your main cast keep talking about him? Why sprinkle in fresh lore about him? Why make his sword the thing that kills Dracula? Why do all this if he’s going to be either a non-entity in the future of the show, or you’re going to just ignore the entirety of the canon that he is inextricably attached to?

This is why I’m kind of in a purgatorial relationship with the show right now as we wait for season three; I have no idea if there’s going to be even a molecule of exposition showing off the “New and Improved” vision for Leon’s and Dracula’s backstory--a part of me finds their constant chatter about Leon a little too heavy-handed for his character and history to just be swept under the rug thereafter, but another part of me is pretty solidly convinced the show isn’t even going to attempt to address that elephant in the room from here.

However, if Alucard’s going to be left by his lonesome with nothing but his father’s castle and the Belmont library, then he better be busting his ass down there reading up on some Belmont family history. Because honestly? There really is no other purpose his character can serve when isolated from the rest of the cast, the action and the plot, besides acting as a vehicle for exposition. I’d like to believe that this was the intention behind that very sudden and very off-handed plot point of Trevor bestowing his family’s library upon him in season 2. Why else do that and then just leave him there? If Alucard is just going to be steered back into the fray early into the new season, then what was even the point of having the team go their separate ways? 

Anyways. I’ve said before I really wouldn’t mind if the staff decided to rewrite Dracula and Leon’s history together a little due to the bizarre and convoluted nature of LoI’s plot which definitely needs a fresh coat of paint, and I still maintain that; but they seem to be both borrowing the outline of the premise while erasing the primary facets that made it work, and I’m entirely confused about how they’re going to actualise such a shaky narrative structure. Not very well, judging by this janky mess of plotholes they’ve dug for themselves--if they don’t just conveniently forget to ever address it again, I’m half sure their answers to these questions are going to be some wacky nonsense that probably even further diminishes the symbolic importance of the story as a whole.

If the show completely erases any meaningful relationship between Dracula and Leon as well as the gravity behind the Vampire Killer’s origins, then it will have truly sunk to a whole new depth. These are the only things I am begging Ellis not to fuck up. You know, the entire crux of Castlevania’s plot as we know it, and the entire reason this story is even playing out in this universe the way it is.

There’s no shortage of us already frustrated with his treatment of the canon as it is, and its a damn shame. I really like a lot of things about the show. The animation is still gorgeous, the music is wonderful, the atmosphere is great, and I felt genuinely moved by some of the scenes they curated for us. I appreciate the hard work the team as a whole has poured into it in the limited time frame they have to complete every season. There’s no taking away from the fact that the show has value in many areas. But Ellis to date has sadly cocked up more facets of the story than he has improved, which is what is consistently holding the show back. As much as I crave answers from this series though, I’m equally as afraid that I am not going to like them when I get them. Or that Leon’s character is going to get dragged backwards through a thorn-bush should he ever appear in the flesh.

I would love nothing more than season three to blow me away and restore my faith in the future of the series but at this point, I’d honestly settle for a few minutes of icon material and whatever answers there are so I can finally leave this bespoke Silent Hill Ellis’ writing has crafted for me, amen and good night.

[kellyvision]

LOCO

Sasha stars in Kells’ music video while their complex relationship... uh, situation, continues to blur lines they are obviously not ready for within their friends with benefit like definition.

If y’all want more and didn’t cringe from this please let me know. Hope y’all like it. -kellyvision

                                    ***********

I sat on the bed in a lingerie set, aesthetically positioned by the director. I watched as K animatedly talked to the DP and the Director about the storyboard of the visual album. Getting impatient, I sighed to myself.  We had a whole day to shoot. Call time was six in the morning. 

The way he expressed his creativity happened to be cute. I knew he wanted to show out like the attention whore he was and make an extra ass video of him pretending to fuck me on camera so the whole world would not to touch me.  He thinks I am stupid but I knew he had an ulterior motive. The man is so territorial and jealous, he is branding my forehead for the world to see. 

Not like anybody had a chance. 

But knowing how deep his trust issues run, he wouldn’t believe me if I was God and Kells knew exactly what to say to me. He was a master manipulator. He just had to bat his long thick eyelashes at me and I caved. So when he told me I was his muse, I couldn’t stop myself from giggling like the slut I am.

What a white man’s whore.

This recent addition to our “friendship” had only solidified my intense attachment to him. I was a delusional for so long that I had to keep pinching myself that we both were actually dating one another. Was my need to be around him 24/7 a little toxic? Maybe. We might have the tendency to be co-dependent on each other, but I love him. 

I don’t even love myself.

It was pathetic. I know. 

The more I watched him, the more turned on I became. Pete was joking around the other day when and said that K was a sex addict and he couldn’t stopped if he had a gun to his head. Kells then got the bright idea to stop having sex in order to bring out our natural chemistry on camera. The only problem he wasn’t the only sex addict in this relationship.

I have been deprived. 

All the times he was allowed to finger pop his dirty fingernails in me, without washing his hands, in public- I laid in this bed with regret and frustration. I never punished him with sex but he was so quick to punish me. Whatever he can do, I can do twice as bad. I could ruin his whole life if I wanted to. I scowled at him, my eyes piercing though the back of his Invader Zim shaped head.

Men will always have the audacity, I sneer under my breath.

I felt myself pout a little as I wallow in my sexual frustration, the way the cloth of the lace panty rubbed against my clit was uncomfortable as I became moist between my thighs.

I begged him to fuck me this morning but he yelled at me. I remembered his attitude and the little altercation that happened too. I let him think he was in control. It was all part of my plan to get what I wanted. Am I an emotionally and mentally unstable person? Maybe but two of us can play this game.

Checkmate. 

                                    ***********

“Please let me put my mouth on you” I whispered in his ear, I sucked on his earlobe. My lips pressed against his jaw line and then made its way down to his neck. 

He ignored me as he continued to write an email on his phone.

My leg was stretched out on his lap as my bare pussy was angled against his gym shorts-clad thighs, I began to rub my pussy against him until I felt friction against his bare skin as his shorts rode up.

I pressed my succulent lips onto the corner of his mouth and lined his jaw with kisses. I started to suck his neck again, I felt him breathe a little heavier. He snaked his arm so that he could hold me better, he tossed his phone towards the seats in front of us. He lifted me against his hardening cock. I grinded against him as he massaged my ass and brought me closer to his body. I sloppily sucked his tongue into my mouth. He bit my lip and his tongue took dominance.

I knew his ass missed me too.

I pulled back. “Colson” My voice begged for permission, and he nodded.

I slipped my hands beneath his shirt. I traced my fingertips against his abs. I teased him as I ghosted around his crotch, and the anticipation had him buckle against me. I couldn’t wait any longer. He watched me from his half-lidded lustful eyes. 

I cupped him through his underwear when I was about to pull him out; his phone rang and he answered the call, and he swatted my hands away from him. I looked at him in embarrassment. I felt blood pool towards the back of my neck and ears.

“I thought-” I sat there confused.

“I don’t want you” he snapped and then continued the rest of his conversation on the phone.

I sat in faux shock, he left me on my knees, the position went from empowering to degrading in mere seconds. I can’t believe he rejected me...again. 

I shriveled back to my seat. I left a huge space between Kells and me, it was getting bigger as the dismissive silence filled the emptiness in the car. I curled against the window facing away from him.

It didn’t occur to me that I was crying until I started sniffling.

Hot angry tears poured down my face.

I couldn’t stop it cos I was tired, hungry, and sexually frustrated. Every emotion hit me at once. I angrily wiped my tears away.

He looked at me oddly, “I have to go, I call so we can schedule the meeting”. He ended his call.

“Are you fuckin crying” he unsympathetically asked. I ignored him and smirked against the window trying not blow my cover. 

“I don’t have time for you to be actin cranky, stop acting like a little girl, we are about to arrive on set in 30 minutes, you got about 5 minutes to stop your shit” he demanded.

He was so disrespectful. Someone needs to teach him on how to deal with a woman. This only made me cry “harder”. 

He tried to pull me towards him, but I shrugged him off. “I don’t want you” I threw back in his face.

“Stop acting like a little bitch, I didn’t mean it that way baby, c’mere”

I shook my head.

He yanked me towards him, he whispered into the side of my head, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to make you cry” he kissed my wet cheek and then softly kissed my lips. “Even though you look so beautiful like this”

He then wiped my tears away. He kissed me again and tried to deepen the kiss but I turned my head away from him.

“Stop being difficult” he pulled my chin towards him and pressed his lips against mine. I eventually gave in and reciprocated his tongue motions.

Kells snaked his hands up my dress and he cupped my pussy and I couldn’t help my moan in anticipation. I always get what I want, I pressed myself closer to him wanting to feel more friction.

“I’m crazy for you know that,” He said into my lips.

“I give you whatever you want” he rubbed his fingers against my clit.

He lifted me to so I could straddle his lap.

“Wearing no panties, do you like when I have to punish you?”

Punish me? I’m gonna punish you sweetheart. Men are so weak and stupid. 

He thrusts a finger inside me and tapped inside of my wall causing wetness to leak out, his lips traveled to my cleavage as he sucked on my puffy nipple, he bit on to it as I became a mess in his lap.

I threw my head back as I felt the build-up of my impending orgasm, I wanted him so bad. I whimpered at the loss of his fingers. He thrusted his soaked fingers into my mouth while he unzipped himself and thrusts his cock inside of me.

Tears fell because it felt so fucking good, his dick pistoled in and out of me, he hammered into me. After I sucked his fingers clean he grabbed my neck by the side and squeezed harder with each thrust. The visceral look in his eyes made me shake with lust.

With his other hand, he slapped my ass cheeks, I felt them throbbing. I was so close. His grip on my neck was tight and he carefully wiped my tears. I was a mess and I was crying for release, every synapse in my body was about to explode. The nerves were so sensitive, I was teetering on the edge, K roughly rubbed my clit.

“Stop, please I can’t” I said weakly.

Kells looked me in the eyes and rubbed faster. The feeling of pressure building between my legs and my stomach muscles tightening, I felt a tsunami of pleasure crash into me as I couldn’t control the noise or liquid that came out of me.

K’s dick was soaked with my juices. His hand on my clit didn’t move as I continued to cum.

“Isn’t this what you wanted” he sarcastically pointed out. 

“Cum for me” Kells breathed against my neck as he bit my jugular. 

I came harder as he rubbed my clit. I splashed his lap as I squirted and liquid pooled against the seat. I tried to catch my breath as sobs racked my body. I clung on to his body.

“Suck me off” Kells commanded, I obediently got down on my knees and swallowed him whole, as he held my head down.

Tears followed and sucked him to his base as he bobbed my head, hitting the back of my throat. I felt his dick throb and twitch before releasing in my mouth. He emptied his load down my throat and made sure I swallowed every drop.

He put himself back into his pants. I crawled to sit on his lap. I curled into him he wiped my tear streaked face.

“so beautiful”. He kissed brushed his tongue against mine and tasted himself.

Just you wait on what I got in store for you. 

                                    ***********

He loved it when I cried for him, I know he was eating up the fact how distraught he had me feeling over the loss of his dick. Yet I always get what I wanted. 

I still didn’t have enough of him.

His underwear sat right below his thick V cut. His abs were glistening with the baby oil I rubbed into his skin. I closed my eyes thinking about the last time he made me squirt before this morning, he had me squirting everywhere that night, it was such surprise to us, cos it was the first time it happened with just his dick, it probably had a lot to do with the fact I ate an edible and that shit kicked in heavy as fuck. It wouldn’t fuckin stop, it was like a water fountain.

Kells called me his fountain of youth after that. He always brought it up in public and no one else knows what the fuck he is talking about. 

I barely shifted my hips so that my clit would rub against something giving me some release.

“Sash, you good” K asked.

I just nodded, kind of embarrassed cos I was caught. 

“Imma need you to bring your A game. I want you to lick my stomach and shit, whatever feels right, when I give him the heads up, he’ll yell action, the scene will start. We doing B-Roll, so we gonna have to shoot 20 different sex scenes and shit, just in case I want to edit something different”

“This is a whole production” I laughed at him.

“I’m finna start filming when we alone so we can have more intimate moments like the one we had in the car this morning” he smirked.

I pushed him away. “You so nasty” I lick my lips at him.

“You love it” He pinched my ass.

“I do” I smiled at him.

“You ready” he looked at me and I nodded.

K gave a thumbs up to the director. The director yelled action, and slowly Kells came crawling to me, starting sucking my neck and kissing my chest. I forgot they were about 10 cameras on me and lights shining down, I started acting ambitious. I was gonna fuck with him a little and finally put my plan into action.I grinded my hips up to meet him and he barely flinched. He held my hips down and whispered into my ear. 

“Don’t fuck with me” he said.

“Kiss me” I pouted back.

Kells pressed his plump lips to mine and I connected to his face roughly. I wanted him so badly I felt my clit throb. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he thrusted his hips into me. He was gonna get so mad at me for what I am about to do. I sneak my hand down his pants grab his dick and hear him lightly moan. He gives me a look of disbelief, I just give him a seductive smile.

“Behave” he mouths to me.

He pins both my wrists above my head, I am no longer in control. I guess he wants to play dirty. I flip him with my body weight so that I am straddling him.

I pin his hands down and he begins to laugh at me and I just kiss the tip of his nose. Out of nowhere he gets out of my hold and picks me up and sits me on top of his face. I never been this vulnerable in my life. He really is petty. I decide to twerk on his mouth, I could feel his wet tongue lap me over my lace panties.

I stand and face the opposite direction, instead of the headboard and continue twerking for him. I could tell he super distracted with my ass shaking in his face. I sneakily unclip my lace bra from the back. He still hasn’t noticed what I am about to do. I fling the bra on the floor. I feel him tense a little as he realizes everyone can see my breasts, and that there are recordings of me basically being a porn star.

I shake my ass some more and turn around to face Kells again, I put my black heel lightly on his crotch and drag it up slowly to his windpipe. I put a little pressure on him. I remove it once I feel I’ve emasculated him enough in front of our company. Once I pull my heel off his throat, I gracefully walk down from the bed and strut to the middle of the room, I stop once I know every camera can get a full view of me. K sits at the foot of the bed, I bend slowly so he could get the full view, and I slowly untie the flimsy g string that flossed my ass.

I toss it in his face, I slowly walk offset into my makeshift dressing room. I hear a lot of silence maybe cos I was running on pure adrenaline. I hear a loud cut, and Kells shouting. Then I hear his footsteps come into my dressing room with a red face. I don’t know if he is turned on or mad. I actually think I might be in trouble.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

I didn’t say anything to him, so I just shrugged.

He pulled me to his chest. 

“You’re mine, who told you to do all of that, no one. You got me fucked up, no ones post to see you naked, you know I’m crazy. You got me looking stupid.”

I rolled my eyes at his dramatic ass.

“Well maybe if you didn’t disrespect me earlier in the car, I wouldn’t have to teach you how to respect me” I shot back.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me” He yelled.

“You can’t tell me what to do bitch” I pushed him away from me.

“Don’t call me a bitch, Sasha”

“Oh but you get to, I just think its funny how you think its cool to come with all that energy, especially to the one person, or should I say bitch, that puts up with your bullshit. You didn’t disrespect me before you started to put your dick in me, maybe we should go back to being just friends”

Maybe I did this on purpose cos I wanted him to declare it himself. Maybe I was acting out cos I wanted him to say it out loud, obviously, he couldn’t control his emotions when he was angry.

I knew he would feel some type of way. He paced around the room as I bit my lip. 

I anticipated what he was going to do next. I’m always submissive, I blurred so many lines, that I am sure I got to him when I put my heel on his throat.

I let him pull me and bend me over the couch. 

He wasted no time.

His dick thrusted inside of me without warning, and I had to hold my moan in, I felt K pull on to my hips as he hammered into my vagina, he slammed my pelvis into him. His roughness made my eyes roll to the back of my head. He was stroking my g-spot so repetitively he knew what he was about to do.

I felt my vagina contract uncontrollably around his dick. He hadn’t said a word to me yet, but this role-play was so fuckin hot, I couldn’t take it.

The more he swiveled his penis in the right angles, I felt a familiar sensation of release, my orgasm was so far away but I knew that I was about to release the fountain of youth.

“K, please stop, I am gonna make a mess, please stop” I begged him but he knew what he was doing on purpose.

The levee broke as I squirted all over him, uncontrollably. My thighs shook as my clit erected and streams of arousal splashed on to the couch, floor and Kells.

K flipped me on my back and started to play with my clit as he continued to thrust inside of me.

The next wave came harder and longer. The moment he completed one circle against my sensitive clit elicited pints of squirt.

I couldn’t stop squirting, it was splashing all over K’s chest and face.

Tears started to fall from my ducts out of pure pleasure, my clit was so sensitive. With each stroke, I could feel my stomach clenching, the muscles in my body were tightening, as the waves of pleasure began to build, and my walls pounded as my clit throbbed against Kells’ fingertips.

My pussy was making all types of water sounds, which I knew turned him on even more. His thrusts become erratic with every sound effect.

The building pressure was intensifying with continued combo of thrusts and friction against my clit, I felt my vagina contract harder and harder. His dick pushing into that button over and over and over. My body freezes and all I could feel was my soul floating. I’m moaning and squirting, Kells enters me again, thrusting as fast as possible, while my vagina is milking his dick.

Kells body twitched as he emptied himself inside of me. He pulled his thick throbbing cock out of my pulsating cunt. As I contracted, his cum seeped out of my tight apex. He rubbed the head spreading his cum around my clit, each time he rubbed against me I swear I was going into anaphylactic shock from being sensitive.

Kells entered me a few times, very slowly. I held him from pulling out and I looked into him, Kells patted my leg so that I could wrap my legs around him. When I did, he lifted me from the couch, so he could sit, as I lay on top of him, still attached. As he relaxed, he wiped the tears from my face and tiredly smiled at me.

“Are you gonna apologize to me” he cockily asked.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, that’s not my fault you have a weak male ego” I smiled into his neck.

“You knew that little stunt would’ve made me mad” he raised his eyebrow at me.

My shoulder began to shake into him as he joined me in laughter.

“Like I said I always get what I want and I wanted to fuck you again” I licked his jawline as he sighed into me. 

“You could have asked nicely” He placed his hand on my hip.

“Where’s the fun in that” I spoke on the lips.

“So crazy” he whispered into my mouth, I swallowed his tongue. He started thrusting into me again, I gave him a throated moan. As he fucked me, it was a good ache and I didn’t want him to stop. I rocked back and forth in his lap as he thrust into my wetness ever so slowly.

“You feel so good” I threw my head back as I held on to his chest.

“You are loco” He grunted as his thrusts began to slow.

“Te gusto” I smirked at him.

Kells shook his head in laughter. 

“C’mon girl, we need to get back on set” He slapped my butt as he pulled me off of his dick.

I groaned at the absence. He walked away to the bathroom, as I stretched out on the couch face down. I dozed off a little and heard the sound of my skin smacking against K’s hand, I gave him seductive moan knowing it would get a rise out him.

“I am tired, I need a nap” I mumbled into the sofa cushion.

“Take a quick shower and we need to film” he clapped his hands fast.

I got up and dragged myself to the bathroom complaining every chance I got.

“If you stop pouting, I’ll give you a massage as soon as we get home, okay” he promised and rubbed my back. He gave me a kiss.

“I don’t have a choice” I yell after him as he walks out.

I pulled it together and promised myself I wouldn’t sabotage him. The quicker were done, the faster I could be with him naked. That was the only thing getting me through the day. Surprisingly enough, I got through different scenes, acting in different positions in the bed. 

It was so hot watching the playback. Kells sucked my nipples in one of the sex scenes. He wanted a documentary style for his visual album. I was doing B-roll of random things, singing while cooking, me combing my hair in the bathroom, there was even a shower scene, where I was pretty naked but the fog, stream of water coming down my body and shots of parts of my baby oil soaked body were artistically filmed where it didn’t look too revealing.

Once we were done, I changed into one of Kell’s oversized tour merch shirts. I threw on some slides. I took some Clorox wipes and sanitized the faux leather couch we fucked on. I felt a little bad. I also picked up the towels on the floor and threw them into the dirty pile. Kells walked in as I was getting my stuff together.

“Ready” He said in a sing-song voice. I nodded.

I looked up and he was making the face at me. I rolled my eyes cos he knew exactly what he was doing. As we walked to the escalade hand in hand he kept making the face at me.

“What” he said already picking up my facial expressions.

“I hate when you make that face at me” I said in low breath.

“What face” He says facetiously as we get to the car with a shit eating grin.

“I know what you’re trying to do” He lets out an airy laugh as he opens the door for me. We both get in.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he laughs at me as he feigns innocence.

“The horny face Colson!” I accuse him.

“What me?” he says almost as if he is appalled.

“You know I can’t say no to you” I whine and immediately give up.

“I’m not even offering anything” he looks at me so sexily again and licks his lips.

“Stop it” I smacked his arm.

“That’s just how my face is,” He tells the driver to go to the house with his studio.

“What about my massage?” I pout.

“I have something better in mind” He winks.

He pulls up the partition.

“Why did you pull the partition-”

Kells attacks my mouth and pulls away.

“I want to eat you out, think of it as my apology for making you work so hard and also not giving you the massage that you deserve baby”

“Let me make you feel good” he licked his lips as he got down to the floor and spread my legs.

“No panties” He smirked at me.

“I’m all about easy access” I smiled at him.

“I’ve been wanting to taste you since this morning,” he says with a thick voice.

He kissed my thighs. He gave me that look again, I swear, his powder blue eyes made me forget where I was.

Sometimes his stare intimidated me during these moments because I wanted to be sexy for him and not let him down, it was almost as if he knew this, I didn’t know how he did it but with one look, he gave me friendship, safety, and reassurance. With one of his looks, I knew he could eventually hurt me. It was only inevitable.

I felt raw and vulnerable. I saw him for who he was. He was going to eat me alive. When he looked in my eyes, he almost made me forget that he didn’t love me. When he looked at me, I felt pieces of myself attach to him. I felt so connected to him. I never wanted to leave. I know eventually, he’ll stop looking at me that way. When he does it, he will take parts of me that I will never get back.

I wish he would never leave me, I wish he was more in love with me than I was in love with him. Maybe I should just enjoy him for what he is before he comes to his senses. I can’t make him love me, but I sure as hell was gonna try.

                                   ***********

Kells was in another recording booth since he wanted his new song to be a surprise. So I went outside by the pool to smoke by myself in the cool LA air. The more smoke I inhaled the more I began to trip. I mean these thoughts of doubting myself were always there but so much louder when I was alone.

All of the shiny things Kells said and did for me didn’t make me up for the fact that he wasn’t in love with. He disguised fucking as love. He hid behind the fact that he loved sex with me, that he loved me in a way a brother or friend would.

My inner mantra screamed at me all day that he didn’t love me, yet I spread my legs for him every chance I got. It felt great but I hated myself so much after. No bullshit, was he doing this just for me? Was I pity fuck? A placeholder until he found someone else better. Or at least until he gets bored? I can't fuck him into loving me.

Why was I giving my all to someone who didn’t even want me like that? I am waiting for him to pull the plug. After this there’s not much I can do, all I can do right now is love him, wait and pray. And if it doesn't end the way I want it to, I’ll still be his friend and I’ll stop trying. I can’t stop loving him though.

I don’t want to stop fighting for him, he was worth it. I mean if it was any indication we were so good together, well when it came to sex. I will have to face the truth eventually. I hate being alone cos I can’t block the nagging bitch in my head telling me I was his last choice, that he is settling for me.

I feel like I will never be enough for someone like him. The judgment day will come and it will break me cos good things never happen to people like me. Eventually, I will succumb to every dark thought I’ve ever had about us. With him I still felt alive, but when he tells me how he truly feels, I know deep down I won’t have anything left to live for if he no longer wants me.

It’s hard to love someone like me. I can’t even love me. I love a man who is emotionally unavailable. Well only emotionally unavailable when it comes to me.

I won’t be able to love him for the both of us.

[thedefinitionofbts]

A Story that we paint (Ch. 1)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Epilogue

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader | Kim Taehyung x Reader 

Genre: College Au, Future, Scifi, Slight Fluff and Angst

Words: 9K

Description: Butterfly Dream: In which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.

You think you can remember his touch, the sound of his voice, the scent of his freshly washed hair against the cotton pillowcase. In your dreams he is real, he is everything you knew and everything you didn’t need to know. You could always find him in the crevices of your mind no matter how elaborately your thoughts are tested or how convoluted the maze of your consciousness is intertwined.  

“But if you happen to get lost, you had faith that he would find you”

 “Welcome to Virtual Universe 101. My name is Professor Kim Namjoon, and I will be your primary instructor this semester. ” Your eyes follow the tall and surprisingly youthful looking man as he walks to the front of the lecture hall. He smiles kindly at the crowd of students and proceeds to look down and expertly types some commands into his hand held tablet device. The screen behind him immediately opens to display the introductory slide of his presentation.

Virtual Universe 101 was one of the first classes added to the new university curriculum that aimed to combine the traditional liberal arts and the engineering sciences, two major fields of study that had always been divided by a wide gulf due to their contrastingly different ways of thought. Virtual Universe, or VU, is a technology developed sometime after the discovery of true artificial intelligence (machines with consciousness) and slightly before the invention of brain downloading (the process of downloading yourself into a virtual world where you could live and do things as you would in the real world). Now it’s officially a class students can take as an elective in college, and its especially appealing to those who have a knack for both the arts and the STEM subjects, in other words, the overachievers who pride themselves in being equally creative and logical.

“I assume most of you have a general idea of what VU is, so I’m going to go over the introduction rather quickly.” The screen flips to the next slide, giving a brief description of the history of VU and its real world applications. “As you all know, VU is an interdisciplinary area that essentially combines every subject you’ve studied in your educational careers up until now. It’s as thought-provoking as it is rewarding, so if you’re up for a challenge, you’ve come to the right place.” He smiles again, an action that causes his lips to stretch from ear to ear, and a pair of deep set dimples to appear at the corner of both his cheeks.

Professor Kim Namjoon was right. VU was as interdisciplinary as it gets, as it involves the design and implementation of an alternate world, which meant it wasn’t a standalone class. Signing up for VU 101 meant you had to simultaneously take Storyboarding (a literature class taught by the quirky Professor Kim Seokjin, who apparently jokes around more than he is serious), Design Engineering (and art and structural design class taught by the lively Professor Jung Hoseok who you’ve heard is literally the manifestation of the sun), and Mental Environment Homeostasis (a course intended to aid in the maintenance of psychological wellbeing taught by the mysterious Professor Min Yoongi who no one really knew much about).

“This semester you will be assigned a semester long project which requires you to build a virtual world.” He begins to go over the syllabus. “VU has various applications in the real world, ranging from video game design to medical research simulation.” He flips to the next slide. “For this course, you will be randomly assigned a genre for the virtual story you create.” He continues to go over all the due dates of homework assignments and midterms, which didn’t look too bad, since most if not all were just parts of the project divided into different stages to prevent students who had a habit of procrastinating from leaving everything until the day before it was due. “Lastly, at the end of the semester, you will have the option of deciding whether you want to live the life you create.” There’s a glint in his eyes, fleeting, but you were able to catch it before the crowd of students began to stir.

His last statement earned him his first audible reaction from the crowd who had been silently listening and taking notes up until that moment. Gasps erupted through the lecture hall as the students began whispering to each other in hushed yet alarmed voices. You didn’t know what the professor meant by that last sentence, but it sounded like he was implying you could download yourself into the system, which was something you had heard of being previously done, but still uncommon in real world society.

The whispering dies down as Namjoon begins to speak once again; his lips are still curved upward into a smile. “I know it sounds confusing now, but it will become more clear as we proceed into the semester.” He reaches the last slide, which contained all the usual contact information, office hours, and miscellaneous information. “The TAs will be available to help if you can’t make it to any of my office hours.” He says. “Oh, and don’t forget you also have your other professors who I am positive will be more than happy to answer any question you may have.” And with that Professor Namjoon dismisses the class.

You gather your belongings and make your way out of the lecture hall. Many of the students where still chattering amongst themselves, all this project talk had gotten everyone overly excited, which seemed a bit excessive and naive in your opinion. Little did they know of the challenges that lie on the road ahead, as the design and implementation of VU was very complex to say the least. You briefly glance at your phone, taking note that it was almost noon. You had agreed to have lunch with your best friend Park Jimin today, something that had basically become a tradition ever since you met him freshman year.  

As he had promised, he was waiting for you outside the engineering building. You could recognize that smile of his from a mile away.

“Y/N!” He shouts as he spots you walking through the large group of students that had just gotten out of class. He stands on his tippy toes and waves his hands in the air as if you hadn’t already seen him.

“You can put your hands down, Chim. You’re kind of hard to miss.” You joke as you approach him.

He laughs, eyes disappearing into half moons. “So how was class?” He asks as you walk across campus to the noodle shop a block down.

You sigh, and proceed to explain the whole project thing to him. Jimin wasn’t exactly up to date with VU technology, so you gave him some background info on that too, sparing him the confusing he would otherwise be met with later on. As the two of you stroll along the oak tree lined sidewalk, and across the autumn leave covered lawn, you tell him about the things Professor Namjoon had mentioned, VU applications, designing a virtual world…

“You can choose to live in your self-constructed universe?” Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise after you mention that little teaser Namjoon had hinted at during lecture. “Isn’t that still taboo???” He huffs, eye open wide as they go. He was listening so intently, he didn’t even notice the waiter place his steaming bowl of noodles in front of him.

“Yeah, I mean, that’s what I thought, but I guess this professor is more open about these things than society is” You shrug, pulling your hair back and leaning in to eat some of your noodles that were still piping hot.

 …

 “VR2000 is an artificially intelligent operating system that will act as the canvas of your virtual world. It is located in the Human Computer Interaction Lab, the place where I assume most of you will be spending many sleepless nights over the course of the semester.” Namjoon’s voice echoes through the lecture hall once again. There were sounds of students typing notes on their laptop and the occasional cough of some kid four rows over. Namjoon was going over the logistics on how to get started with the project and the resources available to get started. “It provides a human-machine interface where you will be able to enter the world you are building and experience it for each test run. This allows you to make adjustments as necessary, fix problems as they occur, or just optimize user experience.” He explains, while simultaneously showing a demonstration on the big screen.

“Wow” You hear Jimin voice directly into your right ear. He had decided to tag along and sit in on your lecture, even though he isn’t in your class.

“Calm your ass, you’re not the one doing this project” You roll your eyes. “I still don’t understand why you’re even here.”  

“What?” Jimin responds clearly offended. “I don’t have class in the mornings, and I just wanted to see what this class is like. You were the one who made it sound cool.” He blames. “Besides, I may or may no want to take this class next year.” He grins, eyes narrowing into half crescents.

You shake your head defeated. “Again, I don’t understand why a psych major like you would ever want to take this class. Aren’t you afraid it’s going to mess up your psychological wellbeing or whatever? Especially with the whole ‘you will have the option of deciding whether you want to live the life you create’”. You mumble, imitating Professor Namjoon’s voice when he had voiced that particular sentence.  

“Isn’t that what ‘Mental Environment Homeostasis’ is for?” Jimin smirks, knowing he had just won the argument with one rhetorical question.

You mentally facepalm, completely forgetting that, that is exactly what ‘Mental Environment Homeostasis’ was for, and realizing that your own argument was now invalid.

“You have all the tools you need to successfully complete the project at your disposal. I advise you all to use the university’s resources wisely.” Professor Kim Namjoon’s voice pulls your attention back to lecture. “Each of you will be paired up with another student in the class, and each group will be assigned a genre.” He pauses, as the students begin whispering and partnering up before he was finished. “As I was saying” He raises his voice and a hush falls through the crowd. “The genre each group will be assigned will be dependent on random draw, so I don’t want to hear any complaints about unfairness or requests to switch topics.”

“What do you think he means by ‘genre’?” Jimin whispers to you.

“Shhhh” You hush him before the professor gets annoyed again.

“You may come up to the front after class, with your partner, to receive the your project packet which will contain the genre and all the requirements listed.” Namjoon says. “But the one warning I will continue to reiterate throughout the semester is that you must take responsibility for what you create.” He pauses once again, but this time, not because he was waiting for the students to quiet down because the lecture hall was so quiet that you could hear him sigh into the microphone attached to his collar. “Any form of artificial consciousness deserves to be treated as a human.” He slowly looks around at the students in the crowd with deep philosophical eyes. You didn’t fully understand what he meant, but there was no doubt in your mind that he had just shared with the class the most important piece of information about the project.

A student in the crowd raises his hand.

“Yes?” Namjoon looks over at the dark haired boy in an oversized white t-shirt and beanie.

“How are you defining artificial consciousness?” the boy asks.

Namjoon smiles and looks down at the floor for a millisecond before raising his head and answering the boy’s question. “To put it simply, any person you create in your artificial world who has his or her own thoughts and is an independent agent.” He claps his hands together. “I hope that answers your question, and with that, I will give you guys time to partner up.”

“Wooow, this class is awesome” Jimin comments as the other students begin standing up and finding partners.

“God Jimin, your not even in this class. Do you know how hard this project sounds?” You groan, thinking about all the work that’s coming ahead, long sleepless nights trying to get programs to work and who know what other frustrating endeavors.

“But hey, at least you get a partner” He pats you on the shoulder with a wide grin.

Shit. You think to yourself before frantically looking around. You had totally forgotten you were supposed to be finding a partner right now. Half the class was already in line getting their packets, while you were here screwing around with Jimin.

Jimin notices you biting your lower lip and nervously looking around the room. “How about that guy over there?” He suggests, knowing exactly what you were thinking at that moment

Your eyes trail over to the person Jimin was pointing at and low and behold, it was the guy who had asked the question earlier, the one in the white shirt and beanie. He hadn’t even stood up and was just staring at the dark screen in front of the lecture hall like he was waiting for his partner to just magically appear.

“B-but, I don’t even know him” You stutter, weighing out your options.

“Do you know anyone in this class?” Jimin retorts.

You tsk and glance at him annoyed. “Fine, I’ll ask” You mutter while making your way over to the boy who was seated three rows in front of you.

As you approach, you notice that he was kind of zoning out, so you had to wave your hand in front of him to grab his attention.

“Hey, ummm, sorry to bother you…but I was-“

He looks up and interrupts you before you could finish your sentence.

“Partner?” He says with an anticipating smile.

You somehow get lost in his innocent doe eyes for a fraction of a second longer than you had intended before managing to nod your head slowly.

“Cool” He says, as he stands up and proceeds to get in line behind the rest of the students. You stand rooted in the spot, not quiet registering what had happened and wondering if this was all real. Ironic because this was happening before the project even started. “You coming?” He turns and asks after realizing you were still in a trance of some sorts.

“Oh, uh, y-yeah” You shake your head in an attempt to clear your mind and quickly hop over to his side.

“The name’s Jungkook by the way” He comments as the two of you wait in line patiently. There were shouts from students in the front who had opened their packets and got assigned genres that they were probably hoping to get.

“Y/N” You respond with a smile.

 …

 Given the choice, what kind of story would you choose to live out with the love of your life?

“Think of it as a choose your own adventure game, and try to have some fun with it.” Professor Kim Namjoon’s voice echoes in your head as your eyes attempt to focus on the words printed on the first page of the packet.

This was insane. You had expected to be tasked with making some sort of video game, adventure simulation, or something more practical, but a love story? Unbelievable! At this day and age? But the words on the page were concrete and undeniable. That was the genre you and Jungkook were given. The objective that would inevitably dictate all the hard work you would sacrifice for the entire semester. A love story. 

“It’s so lame” You sigh as you toss the packet on the table and burry your face in your arms.

“I thought girls liked these things,” Jungkook comments. He picks up the packet to flip through it one more time. He re-reads the guidelines as he twirls his pen in his free hand.

You guys had met up to discuss the first steps after Design Engineering class with Professor Jung Hoseok, who you soon found out, was indeed the embodiment of the sun itself. That guy literally never stops smiling and he walks as if he’s dancing ballet or something.

“Don’t tell me you actually believe we could make anything interesting with a topic as boring as romance.” You remark, as you sat across from Jungkook in the large library study area. Since it was the beginning of the semester, it was relatively empty. If this were finals week, you’d be lucky to even find an open table.

“Love stories aren’t always centered around romance” Jungkook replies as he lifts his pupils from the pages to glance at you. “They can be…tragic.”

“What? You mean like Romeo and Juliet?” You finally lift your head to look at him. He looked really young, fetus-like almost. His baby face made you question if he was maybe younger than you, but at the same time, his body was quite developed…not that you were directly taking note of that in particular. “We just met and you’re already trying to kill me off?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant” He defends, shaking his hands. “Besides, they both die in that story don’t they?” He voices after remembering the actually ending of the age-old classic tale.

“Oh yeah, never mind then” You mutter.

“We could just base our project off of some really famous romance novel. They’re all pretty cookie-cutter anyways.” He says.

“We could…” You pause to think, realizing that you didn’t want to just settle for something generic. You had an entire semester and the world’s most advanced tools to make something amazing and novel. Why waste that just because you didn’t get an “interesting topic”? There was a limitless amount of room to be creative, the possibilities were endless. “But, I want something unique, something never written before. Something that could be deemed the greatest love story in the history of love stories.” You state in a resolute tone while looking up at the stain glass ceiling of the library, sunlight was pouring in and changing all sorts of colors due to the painted glass.

“Wow, your mindset changes in a hurry” Jungkook says with a side grin. “Good thing we have Storyboarding class next.” He says as he stands up from his chair. “Let’s hope Professor Kim Seokjin has some good advice about coming up with a plot.”

…

 “Good afternoon, class” Professor Kim Seokjin greets the students who all looked very enthusiastic and eager to get started, to your minor annoyance. “I heard you’ve all received your project genres this morning. I hope you all have some amazing ideas swimming in your minds because in this class we will be doing a lot of creative exercises and brainstorming.”

Storyboarding was a new Lib-Ed class adapted specifically for students enrolled in Virtual Universe 101. It had been adapted from the more traditional literature classes such as Creative Writing and the like, and as unnecessary as it sounded before getting your project genre, you appreciated how it managed to help get you reoriented with the project goals after the disappointment you were met with this morning in regards to the project genre you received. Professor Kim Seokjin had said something along the lines of figuring out the main characters of the story before you start planning each stage of the story in separate steps.

“Aren’t our main characters just….us….?” You voice cautiously, after the professor had called for discussion time with your partners.

Jungkook sits up from slumping back in his seat and clears his throat before replying. “Not necessarily” He says. “According to the packet, our story is from the perspective of one of us, not both.”

“Oh right” You murmur, turning to look the other way before Jungkook can notice the flush in your cheeks. You bite the inside of your lip, scolding yourself for being so direct and inaccurate about the words escaping your lips. Of course, how could you forget? The packet specifically stated for you, the participant, to choose the love story you would live out with the love of your life. Not ‘come up with a love story between two people’.

“Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice snaps you from your thoughts. You jump a little in your seat, startled by the clarity in his voice. “I was thinking that we just have to decide which one of us goes into the simulation as the perspective side, and then we can decide whether we want to create a second main character or just have the simulation work its magic.”

You’re lips part as you try to register what Jungkook had said. “You mean, like the concept of soulmates?” At this point, you didn’t even know what you were saying anymore. You didn’t even believe in soulmates, in fact, the idea had always made you want to scoff.  

Jungkook pauses and furrows his brows ever so slightly. “Sure, I guess if that’s what you call it.”

“That’s probably easier anyways.” You cut in, while laughing nervously. “I can’t imagine trying to create an AI.”

“Yeah, an AI….” Jungkook whispers to himself at a barely audible volume.

“I guess I can volunteer as tribute.” You shrug. “Unless you want to.” You look up and notice Jungkook had that blank look in his eyes again, just like the way he was the first day you “asked” him to be your partner.

“Huh?” Jungkook hums, snapping out of his thoughts.

“The perspective roll. I can be the one going into the simulation.” You repeat, waiting for him to either agree or suggest he go in instead.

“Oh, yeah. You do it.” Jungkook says, nodding his head in agreement. “I’ll monitor the stats while you’re in the simulation.”

 …

 The weekend hits you like a breath of fresh air after being locked up in a dusty attic for days. You needed a break from the project, even though the hard part had barely even begun. The creative process was harder than you thought, and you blame it on the lame topic you were stuck with. It was obvious you still weren’t over the “unfairness” of random draw because you had spend a full half an hour complaining about it to Jimin on Saturday while the two of you were grabbing a late lunch at the café near campus.

He had tried to make you feel better, insisting that love stories could be overwhelmingly emotional and there were a lot of elements you could play with, but it hardly changes your opinion because Jimin was into that stuff, as opposed to you, who brushed it off like it was all generic and uninteresting. Despite the futility, you still appreciated his well-fought effort.

It wasn’t until two days later, on Monday, that things started to get interesting. Because two days later, you receive a call from Jungkook telling you to meet him in the Human-Computer Interaction lab, aka the place where the project simulation was supposed to take place and the place you would be spending most of your time in the next coming months. He hadn’t contacted you since Storyboarding class on Friday, and you thought he was just out drinking with his friends or hungover the whole weekend, but as it turns out, he had actually been cooking up a surprise. A real one (figuratively, or so you think…).

“Wow, I’m impressed. He’s…he’s… fucking hot.” You comment, as you stare at the sharp features of the man on the screen. He had large sultry eyes, a tall perfectly shaped nose, and full lips. His skin was smooth and sun-kissed, hair a dark shade of golden brown.

“Well, I figured you’d want someone physically attractive, since you know, he’s going to be the male lead of your love story.” Jungkook says as he places his hands on his hips, proud that his past 48 hours of non-stop work had paid off.

“You mean, our love story,” You correct with a smirk. “I’m just playing lab rat here. He’s not real.”

“Oh, but he will be.”

You freeze in place at Jungkook’s last comment. “What do you mean?”

“Artificial consciousness.” He states. “I made him fully conscious. True AI.”

“W-wait, what?” 

Jungkook chuckles. “It won’t make for an interesting story if I’m just controlling him the whole time, especially since you and I aren’t actually lovers. It should be as real as possible, right?”

You feel your face heat up at the mention of being lovers with Jungkook. “Yeah, of course. What was I thinking? We could never be lovers. Not even close.” You lie, hiding the fact that you hadn’t felt what you did the past few days when you were with him, and pretending that it was the farthest thing from your mind.

“It’s less work for me, and it’s more natural for the story.” He says, eyes still looking at the young male on the screen. “He’s so good looking, I’m almost jealous.” He’s still admiring his work of art.

“H-how did you do it though?” You question, remembering that this was not an easy feat, in fact, not long ago, it was literally impossible to make truly conscious AI.

“Hours of coding, help from the awesome resources the university provides, and a small part of my own brain.” Jungkook grins, looking at you and waiting for your praise. 

You feel your lower jaw drop. “You downloaded you brain into the machine?”

“Yup” Jungkook nods. “Do you know how long it would take to make him fully from scratch? Probably couldn’t even finish it if I spent the whole semester fully on that.”

“So doesn’t that mean he’s basically….you?” You raise your eyebrow.

“He’s 50% similar to me, the other 50% he’ll evolve into as the simulation goes.” Jungkook explains. “In a sense, I’m part of him. Or more accurately, part of him is me. The difference is subtle, but it’s there.”

A moment of silence passes, and the only sound that can be heard is the loud rumbling of the lab machines.

“I shouldn’t have made him so hot” Jungkook finally blurts out after the sort of awkwardly long pause where neither of you spoke. “It’s hurting my pride a little.”

“I’m lucky you’re only realizing that now that you’ve finishing making him” You grin, throwing the joke back at him.

“Ouch” Jungkook says, pretending to grip his chest.

The two of you burst into laughter, and you get a glimpse of the way his nose and eyes scrunches up until they disappear. It was a heartwarming sight, even though your own laughter prevented you from seeing him as clearly as you wished at that moment. You had only known the guy for a week, and it already felt like you had been friends with him for years.

After the laughter dies down, you glance back at the virtual image on the screen, taking in the idea of the pending adventure ahead.

...

“So how are your projects coming along?” Professor Kim Seokjin had been checking in with all of the groups on Monday, making sure everyone was progressing at a good pace, when he finally made it to you and Jungkook.

“Oh, it’s going” You reply, startled by his near silent approach.

“You two are partners I’m assuming?” Seokjin questions, eyeing you and Jungkook back and forth.

“Yeah” Jungkook replies, nodding his head so that his bangs bobbled up and down.

“May I take a look at your topic?” Seokjin requests. You turn to dig through you backpack for the project packet and finally find it hidden amongst your other papers fully of sketches from Design Engineering.

Seokjin takes the packet from you and glances at the front page. “Love story?” Seokjin voices as his eyes glide across the words written in bold. “Interesting.” He looks up and glances at you and Jungkook with a mischievous expression.

Jungkook clears his throat and averts his eyes.

“We’ve already decided on the main characters.” You quickly announce, hoping that Professor Kim Seokjin’s mind wasn’t traveling to a place you didn’t want to deal with right now.

“Oh?” Seokjin raises his eyebrow.

“Umm, yeah, it’s going to be from the perspective of me and an AI that we, or Jungkook, built over the weekend” You explain, hoping that he wasn’t going to point out some major problem with what you guys had planned so far. It didn’t occur to you until now, but it probably would’ve been better to get the plan checked out by Professor Namjoon before going ahead and creating a being who was artificially conscious, as Jungkook had claimed it or he was.

“AI?” Seokjin repeats. “Simplistic model or conscious?”

“He’s –“ You begin, before Jungkook cuts you off.

“He’s conscious” Jungkook says.

Seokjin nods slowly, expression on his face very difficult to read from what you could tell. He doesn’t speak for a good minute, clearly taking his time to register what Jungkook had said. “Have the two of you spoken with Professor Min Yoongi in Mental Environment Homeostasis yet?” He suddenly asks.

“We’ve been going to class, but we haven’t spoken to him directly.” You respond, recalling the black haired professor who always looked tired yet retained an unexplainable type of sharpness in his eyes. You wonder why Professor Kim Seokjin would suddenly bring that class up, after all, the simulation stage had yet to begin. Surely people weren’t having mental breakdowns yet were they?

“I’m assuming you cloned part of your own brain circuitry into the Connectome?” Seokjin says, turning to Jungkook.

“Y-yeah” Jungkook nods, eyes widening and body stiffening up. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and you weren’t sure why he seemed so nervous. You had no idea what cloning brain circuitry entailed, but it must’ve been what Jungkook meant when he said part of the AI was him.

Seokjin nods again, and finally smiles. “Impressive.”

You faintly hear Jungkook breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of the professor’s warm smile.

…

That evening, Jimin invites you to study with him at his dorm. He was one of the more well off students who could afford to have his own room in one of the more “luxurious” residential halls. Luxurious as in, he didn’t have to share his bathroom and his room came with a little kitchenette so he could prepare simple meals on a stovetop rather than be limited to using the classic microwave. Since, you had already agreed to work on the project with Jungkook that day, you decide that it couldn’t hurt to bring him along to Jimin’s place. Jimin practically already knew who he was anyways.

“Come in! Come in!” You hear Jimin’s high-pitched voice vibrate through the wooden door that you had just knocked on. You turn to look at Jungkook who just shrugs, waiting to follow after your steps.

“I brought Jungkook” You announce as you open the door, in case Jimin wasn’t prepared (as in dressed) to receive extra company. Even though, he should be dressed somewhat decently knowing you were going over anyways, but since Jungkook was still a stranger to Jimin, it was only respectful to give him a heads up regardless.  

“Oh, great!” Jimin chirps, poking his head out of his opened bathroom door. “The more the merrier.”

You roll your eyes at his optimism and invite Jungkook to sit on the couch under Jimin’s lofted bed.

“So I heard you two made a real person,” Jimin says as he walks over to the two of you, completely unaware of how he conveniently arranged his words into a sentence that could be taken the wrong way.  

“Yeah, well” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “He’s not real per say. He’s just conscious in the virtual world.”

“Ohhh” Jimin says, pretending he understands the weight of Jungkook’s words, which he doesn’t. “So he’s fake real”

“Uh, no…he’s real real” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “He’s me but not me”

“R-right…” Jimin says, nodding as if it would help him understand if he kept telling himself he understood.  

“Ok, can we just get to work?” You cut in, barely able to handle another minute of this nonsense. “We still have to plan our plot and begin putting our designs in the code,” You sternly remind Jungkook, who nods and quickly pulls out his laptop.

“So does this person look like you too?” Jimin asks Jungkook as he scoots closer to the chocolate haired boy. He was evidently not yet finished with the previous conversation.

“Ummm, heee’s…” Jungkook stretches out the pronoun to buy time to think of a response. “…better looking“ Jungkook finishes.

Jimin bursts out laughing. “Is that even possible?” He says in between his giggling.

Jungkook’s cheeks flush a light shade of pale rose. “Yeah, ask Y/N…she can confirm it.”

You feel both of their eyes rest on you, tentatively waiting for a response.

“Yeah, like he’s super attractive, but he’s not human, so….” You trail off, trying to figure out exactly what you were trying to say, because at this point, you didn’t even know yourself.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier if you two were the main characters of this whole story thing?” Jimin blurts out. “I mean, I can totally see you two as a couple.”

You’re eyes widen in horror and you hear Jungkook choke on the water he was drinking.

“Shit.” He mutters, trying to dry the water that made his white shirt half see through. “You mind if I use your bathroom to dry off?”

“Sure, go ahead” Jimin answers, pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

When Jungkook had closed the door and was out of sight, you punch Jimin in the arm. “What was that?” You whisper angrily.

“Ow” Jimin yelps, while rubbing the spot you had probably left a light bruise on. He’s not in pain for long because he starts giggling at your angry expression. “Stop pretending like you don’t find him attractive. I’ve known you long enough to tell when you like someone.”

“We’re just project partners.” You sternly remind him.

“You like him” Jimin repeats, still looking at you with that knowing smile of his.

You bite your bottom lip, and turn away. “It doesn’t matter”

“There’s nothing holding you back”

“He clearly doesn’t feel the same way.” You huff a laugh. “I mean, he created a virtual person just so he didn’t have to play the role of my lover.” You say. Although it might not completely be true, that’s how you decided to interpret it as.

Jungkook comes back from the bathroom before Jimin could come up with another “unreasonable” response about how you should still go for it anyways, or you shouldn’t come to conclusions so soon.

“Sorry about that.” Jungkook apologizes, as he sits back down.

“It’s fine.” You and Jimin reply simultaneously. You turn to him, making a threatening face to prevent him from saying another sentence that would throw you back into the inescapable depths of embarrassment.

“So how about we start planning the first meeting?” Jungkook says, completely avoiding the topic you guys were discussing before.

“Sounds good.” You quickly reply before Jimin could interrupt in any way.

Jungkook sits back down next to you on the couch, while Jimin pulls out his labtop and begins doing his own homework, finally getting the hint that the two of you needed to work things out on your own.

“So there’s the classic, meet accidentally, destiny type stuff.” He begins. “Then there’s the love at first sight ‘soulmate’ scenario.” He continues, emphasizing the word “soulmate” like the concept was absurd, which you would agree, was. As he’s talking, you just stare into space, listening to his slightly husky voice, iterating all the options he was probably just pulling out of his ass on the spot. “fairytale meet in the magical woods, male lead saves your life, or just the plain old classmates, new neighbors...” He trails off, probably realizing that it all sounded very scripted.

A long moment of silence passes between the two of you, in which only Jimin’s typing on his laptop can be heard. Jungkook finally sighs and turns to face you, giving up on his brainstorming part.

You casually turn to face him. “Surprise me” You say.

“What?”

“You decide. I mean, you did design the dude. Why don’t you also decide how he navigates the world, responds to stimuli, and ultimately behaves in the simulation? I’ll take care of my half of the work, and you take care of his or yours or however you want to refer to the you/him dynamic as.” You reply, nonchalantly, reasoning that it’ll all work out more naturally if you don’t purposefully try to make this story all lovey dovey. “I mean, of course we’ll work together designing the world, but I’d rather not know everything he’s going to do before witnessing it.”

Jungkook pauses again. “I-I guess, that works too…” He says, trailing off again. “It’s just….”

“What?” It was your turn to ask the question he had previously shot at you.

Jungkook jumps a little on the couch. “Uh…nevermind” He answers quickly.

…

The day of the simulation came quicker than you expected, or even wanted it to. This was it, test run number 1 out of who knows how many to come. The past week had been hell, and that was putting it nicely. Long hours of coding, taking all those sketches and blueprints you and Jungkook had conjured up during Design Engineering and making it a virtual reality. The initial design process was still fresh in your mind, long and confusing, reminiscent of all project beginnings where you didn’t even know where to begin.

Thankfully, Professor Jung Hoseok was more than willing to help at the time. He wasn’t one of those kinds of professors who were more focused on their own research than genuinely helping their students succeed. He was extremely compassionate and had given you and Jungkook an array of starting ideas about the physical world that you were constructing.

“Normally your story genre dictates the setting of the physical world that you’re aiming to build, but in your case, you can really make it any way you want.” Hoseok had explained when you told him you and Jungkook were building a world for the setting of your self-designed love story. “ You can start by considering time periods. Figuring out if your story is set in the past, present, or future. Or you can make the setting ambiguous, and design a world which combines things from the real world and fantastical elements.”  

After speaking with Professor Jung Hoseok, both you and Jungkook agreed that it would be more interesting to make the setting ambiguous. A completely innovative design would be more fascinating, and in your opinion, a love story would need all the help it can get to be even remotely intriguing.

The outline of your virtual world was built by taking inspiration from nature, the real world, and fictional worlds from classic books and movies. Since you were the main character, much of the features included in the design would be tailored to you, and you didn’t want to be thrown in completely unfamiliar territory, while at the same time, you wanted there to be enough room for creative engineering. And so you both agreed that your story would take place on Earth, in an alternate universe, and the time period would be in the present. Jungkook thinks that it’s better to focus on the visual effects of the simulation rather than coming up with a bunch of random things that don’t exist in the real world. “You can’t fall in love with a person if you’re too focused on other things” He had said. Meaning that if you felt lost and uncomfortable, it’d be hard to enjoy yourself in the simulation, which surprisingly made sense when you thought about it.

“Like we should focus on making the colors of plants more vibrant, and the structure of natural landforms more… grandiose ” Jungkook suggests, while the two of you were sketching in Design Engineering.

“Just sounds like more work,” You mumble, hoping he isn’t able to detect the lack of motivation in your voice.

…

Simulation Test # 1 “The First Meeting”

The rays of the distant sun were beating down on your face, causing beads of sweat to form on your exposed forehead. Fluffy clouds drifted across the smooth bluish gradient that was the canvas for the sky, occasionally blocking the solar glare and casting your surroundings under a cooling shadow.

As the physical world comes into view, you notice the giant arbors of forest green trees, planted behind park benches. A man was selling large oval shaped balloons, their colors captivatingly vivid and their movement jumbled and light as the breeze swept them against each other.  

You hear sounds of children laughing, a girl giggling as her boyfriend whispers something into her ear, the voices of people you didn’t know, and….screams?

Your eyes dart around in search of the source, there were fences, colorful machinery-like contraptions, a booth selling pink and blue cotton candy, some fake horses attached to poles, decorated, and arranged in a perfect circle.

“Real funny, Jungkook. This is exactly what you should refrain your boyish mind from letting you do.” You say out loud as if he could hear you while you were in the simulation. You roll your eyes as you realize you were standing in the middle of an amusement park, and the scream you had hear seconds ago was from a group of people on a roller coaster.  

“Jungkook?” You hear someone say as they approach you. Turning to identify the person, you instantly recognize him as the hot guy that Jungkook had designed, aka the male lead of your story. He was even hotter in person.

“Are you looking for someone?” The brown-haired male asks, confusion evident in his baritone voice.

You have no idea what is going on, but you’re desperate to get answers. “Ok, can you just stop pretending for a second and tell me where it is you’re going with this story. I’m not about to fail this class because you wanted to play games, fyi I didn’t give you a pass to do whatever you want with this project, you know.” You shout into the surrounding, unsure if Jungkook can hear you from the other side. There is no response, and you can feel the mild annoyance bubbling up, which you address by placing a hand on your temple and begin rubbing to relieve the irritation.

Hot dude’s lips part slightly, and his tongue peeks out to wet his bottom lip. He’s still staring at you, but you’re looking around the park to see if there’s someway to contact the real world in this made up reality. After a good five minutes of fruitless attempt, you sigh and decide that the only thing you can do is play along until the simulation ends.

“So what’s your name?” You ask, turning back to Mr. I’m-too-hot-to-be-real, like literally.

He blinks a few times, and you almost being to question if Jungkook even gave this guy a name. “M-my name is Kim Taehyung.” He finally blurts out. “and yours?”

“Y/N” You reply, narrowing your eyes and wondering if Jungkook is working some controller on the other side of the virtual world you see in front of you.

“Uhh, you want to go on one of those rides?” You ask, thinking what the heck, might as well do something while you’re stuck in this simulation.

Taehyung turns his head and looks at the roller coaster you were pointing at, trying to take in the new piece of information you had presented and calculating how to respond to such a novel type of stimuli. Seconds later, he turns back to you and nods his head eagerly. There’s a familiar spark in his eyes that you swear you’ve seen before somewhere else, but the fraction of it that is foreign prevents you from recalling where exactly you’ve seen such stars.

The two of you get in line. People look normal, in fact, so normal that it almost feels like you’re in the real world. None of them were acting out of the ordinary or as robot-like as you had imagined before entering the simulation.

The two of you were sitting side-by-side, waiting for the cart to begin sliding down the path outlined by the tracks. Glancing over at Taehyung, you notice he looks a bit stiff, like he was really nervous and anxious.

“Are you ok?” You question, looking at his face intently.

“Uh-y-yeah” He swallows, causing his Adam’s apple to bobble up and down. Then his pink tongue pokes out again and wets his bottom lip. “I’ve just never been on one of these.” He adds.

Oh right. You think to yourself. All of this was new to him. He was literally “born” two weeks ago.  

“But I’m somehow able to recall being in love with thrill rides like these.” He continues to explain, making you take back your previous conclusion, and throwing you into a state of confusion.

“What do you mean?” You question.

“My older brother took me to amusement parks all the time when I was little, and I’ve never stopped loving roller coasters.” He says will a silly smile plastered on his face.

What the hell was this dude talking about? Older brother? The fuck? You think to yourself as the cart finally begins to move. “But you just said you’ve never been on one” You shout, as the speed of the cart picks up and the wind is blowing loudly in your ears.

“Yeah, I haven’t” Taehyung shouts in between loud giggles. “Ahh, this is so great!” He laughs happily as the cart makes its speedy descent down the steep slope.  

You squeeze your eyes shut as you feel the approaching thrill of the pending first drop.

After the ride ends, you make a mental note, reminding yourself to tell Jungkook to change Taehyung script or something because a lot of what he was saying was evidently contradictory. You think it might be some bug in the code or some mistake in writing up his dialogue.

In just a half an hour of walking through the park, you learn that Taehyung really like animals. Dogs in particular. He can’t stop cooing and petting them, hopping around like a little kid who just received his long awaited birthday present, and in return they seem to be unable to stop jumping all over and licking him. Taehyung is also quite the foodie. Literally requesting to eat something from every other food stand you guys strolled past, and still complaining about being hungry afterwards.

“You want some?” He says, turning to you and holding out his icecream cone, offering you a lick of the half scoop of frozen confectionary placed atop a perfectly shaped waffle cone.

“Umm, no that’s ok” You reply, politely rejecting his offer. You watch as he smiles and takes another lick of the creamy concoction. “So…Taehyung, why did you come here today?” You question, wondering how omniscient his AI was. Was he aware that he was part of a simulation? Did he know he was a product of this project? He didn’t seem to know about Jungkook, at least, judging by his confused response when you had shouted the latter’s name upon meeting.

“I…I don’t really know” He responds, mid swallow. “I just came because the rides looked fun, and when I saw you, I thought you were really pretty, so I approached.” He looks at you and flashes you another one of his boxy smiles.

You feel you face heat up ever so slightly, but before you could get caught up in feeling flattered that you just received a compliment, you shake your head and remind yourself that this wasn’t real.

“Is that all?” You poke, wanting to make sure you could collect every last bit of information about him, so you could make adjustments as needed.

Taehyung takes a bite out of his waffle cone before replying. “Yup” He chirps.

The two of you continue to walk in silence, with on the sound of other people at the park. The sky was growing dark and you wonder if this was also part of Jungkook’s plan of meeting your “lover” for the first time at the amusement park. The wind picks up, and you feel cold water pellets hit your exposed forehead. It wasn’t long before they became more frequent, and you and Taehyung were rushing to find cover.

“What luck” You huff as you attempt to dry off your hair that had quickly become soaked from the rain. Just as you had voiced that last sentence, you vision gradually blurs.

“Y/N….?”

You hear Taehyung whisper you name one last time before you find yourself back in the pod with wires connected to your skull.

………….......................

“Jeon fucking Jungkook!” You shout when your eyes flutter open.

His eyes widen when he sees you charging towards him angrily right after you hopped out of the pod. He raises both of his hands in the air in surrender.

“I-I can explain”

“Oh, you better think you can” You spat with an annoyed huff. If this was some kind of joke on his part, you were going to threaten to switch partners.  

“He looked bored, and I couldn’t think of a better place to give him his first adventure.” Jungkook explains. He points at the scene displayed on the computer screen. “He just looked so lonely, and I felt bad for the guy, so I thought an amusement park would be a fun first meeting spot.”

You peer over at the man who appeared on the large projector screen in front of Jungkook. It was Taehyung, and he was sitting on what you presumed to be his bed, in a small apartment in some city that didn’t quite exist. His hair disheveled from towel drying it after getting soaked in the rain, and he had changed into his striped pajamas.

“We can watch him from here?” You question in astonishment.  “Wait, he’s actually real? Like he does things when I’m not in the simulation???”

“Yeah…about that…..” Jungkook begins cautiously. “Didn’t you hear what Professor Kim Namjoon said? The part about us having to take responsibility for any form of consciousness we create. He may be ‘artificial’ but he’s…alive”

You’re mouth drops at the realization. Jungkook hadn’t exactly explained this to you fully, in a way that you could understand correctly, prior to creating Taehyung, or maybe you hadn’t taken this artificial consciousness thing serious enough because this is starting to sound like something you did not sign up for.

…

“I’ve heard that all of you have begun the simulation phase.” Professor Min Yoongi’s voice rings through the classroom. The students confirm unanimously. “Good. Now this class can really begin.”

You ears perk up at his statement. Mental Environment Homeostasis had gone on for over two weeks, and you’ve even received homework assignments. What was this talk about really beginning? You pray that he doesn’t mean there will just be more work because that was the last thing you needed after the first round of VU testing.

“Those of you who went into the simulation. How did it feel?” Yoongi questions the students in the crowd. He waits patiently for a student to raise their hand and offer feedback.

“I was fully aware that I was in a simulation, although, I did reach a point where I was confused as to what I was doing and began to question the main objective.”

“How long were you in there?” Yoongi asks.

“Two days.” The student replies. Some of the students in the crowd gasp.

The professor only nods his head before proceeding. “You got lucky then.” He says. “I wouldn’t go over the 6 hour mark on your first test.” He pauses. “You see, the longer you are in the simulation, the more your brain becomes accustomed to its environmental stimulations.” He walks over to his computer at the front of the room and pulls up a few graphs from past studies on human-computer interaction onto the big screen. “Studies have shown that a person’s psychological state can be altered in a way which makes them think the simulation is not virtual.”

“But isn’t there a way to bring a person back even if they’ve been confused by the simulation?” Another student in the crowd blurts out.

“Only if their conscious mind is still rooted in reality.” Yoongi replies. He looks down at ground, seemingly recalling something for a brief moment. “If their minds have consciously fully merged with the virtual world, they are said to have reached the point of no return.” He changes the slide on the screen. “In such a scenario, said person will believe that the virtual world is the real world and vice versa.”

…

“Butterfly Dream” Jungkook says, startling you as you were just about to drag the scene you had designed into your virtual universe.

“What?” You turn your head to see Jungkook look up from his laptop.

“You know, the phenomenon coined by a famous philosopher some thousand years ago.” He explains. “When you lose your point of reference and you wake up from a dream not knowing if you’re awake or dreaming?”

“Wow, that was the worse explanation of said phenomenon I’ve ever heard.” You reply sarcastically.

“It’s like what Professor Min Yoongi said, when you lose your grip of reality and start to believe the virtual world is actually the real world and the real world is virtual.” Jungkook explains.

“What, you afraid I’m going to go in and not come out?” You smirk, saving the work you just completed and preparing to go in for round two.

“Uhh…” Jungkook pauses, and you can literally feel the hesitation in his voice.

“Calm yourself, I’m not planning on staying in that simulation for longer than 6 hours.” You retort. “You don’t have to worry about losing me to the void.”

….

[thorne93]

First Impressions (Part 7)

Prompt: Imagine your friend, Anthony Mackie, brings you with him to an event and introduces you to his friend, Sebastian, who’s blown away by you. He immediately starts flirting and acting silly because you make him nervous and he just wants to impress you

Warnings: flirting (adult style), language (always, with me, come on), and drama (later on in the fic)

Word Count: 1541

Notes: If anyone has kids or wives out of the celebrities mentioned, in this universe, they sort of don’t exist….Just for the sake of keeping it concise. Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes (because shes perfectly amazing) and I could NOT, not, just not have done any of this at all without my amazing girl, @amarvelouswritings

Forever Tags: @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis  @bubblyanarocks3​ @thefridgeismybestie​

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock  @lenawiinchester​ @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi​

Chris Evans Tag (Normally wouldn’t, but he’s featured a lot): @nedthegay​ @camigt1999​  @lostinspace33​​ @alwayshave-faith​ @elleatrixlestrange

First Impressions Tag: @goodnightwife​​ @spacemarkimoo​ @masha-meow01​ @axelinchen @smuoooshie​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later you and Sebastian were out grabbing lunch, things seemingly back to normal between you two. The only difference now was that instead of flirting or heavy conversation, you treated him like you would any other friend.

You ordered your sandwich at the deli and stood back with Seb while you to waited on your order. Suddenly, he grunted and shoved his phone in his pocket before he muttered, “Son of a bitch.”

“You okay?” you asked.

“Yeah….I guess…”

“If I were always as okay as that, I would have an ulcer,” you teased as you glanced sideways at him. “What’s really up?”

“It’s Marissa,” he started. The mention of her name on his tongue sent a fire of jealousy, anger, and hurt through you but you stamped all those feelings way down inside. If you were going to move on, you couldn’t dwell on that sort of nonsense.

“What’s going on with her?”

“I asked her to a charity ball I’m going to and she said she can’t go because she has some party of her father’s she has to go to.”

“Well perhaps the party is important to her,” you tried.

“No, the event itself is just something for her parents. Some sort of auction that she doesn’t even need to be there for. I know why she’s going, all of her model friends will be there, so she can party all night long.”

“You don’t like her partying?” you questioned.

“I don’t like her choosing partying over me, which is always. The problem is, is I can ask her to a hundred of my events, right? Interviews, dinners, galas, premieres, after parties. On a few occasions she’ll come to the huge events, but that's once in a blue moon. But me? If I tell her I can't go for any reason other than working, it’s a fight. She says I don’t care about her and that I should support her. I do support her….I just don’t see why it's a one way street.”

“She sounds selfish,” you noted. This wasn’t the jealousy talking, you were usually a blunt and honest person who didn’t beat around the bush.

Sebastian shrugged as the two of you grabbed your food and went and sat down. “I don’t know. I’m not being fair. Her events are just as important as mine.”

“Does she ever say why she can’t go?” you inquired, wondering if Bee and Chris’s information on her was true. Did she really blow him off to go party? If she did, did he know?

“Most of the time she says she needs beautyrest, which I get, she’s a model. Or she wants to relax after working all day. I get that too, she doesn’t want to parade around in yet another dress and heels. Yeah, I think I'm just being hard on her. It just feels like a one way street sometimes with her, but maybe I’m not being sympathetic enough.”

“Is it just recently or the entire time you’ve been dating?”

“Pretty much the whole time. She made it to a handful of events with me at the very beginning then it stopped.” He picked at his salad. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being unfair. Life gets busy, right?”

“Sebastian, it isn’t about life being busy, it's about her choosing other things over you. If she’s sick, or tired, sure, I get it, let her rest. But, choosing her dad’s lame ass auction that she doesn’t need to attend over going with you, that’s different. She’s just not choosing you.”

Sebastian was quiet for a moment after that before switching the topic to something completely unrelated and he didn’t bring up Marissa for the rest of the day.

-----------------------

It was only two days later he was complaining of her again. In one way, you didn’t mind, it showed he wasn’t completely happy with her and maybe there wasn’t a future there. In another way, he was upset and stressed and you didn’t want to see that. He came into work with a look that could make anyone back off...except you. Nothing could keep you from him. He didn’t scare you and you knew when he needed a friend.

“Hey, Seb,” you greeted, handing him his favorite coffee. “What’s wrong?”

“Marissa. I asked her to take care of some stuff since I was busy running lines with Stacia. Did she do it? No. I asked her to do some simple chores and she couldn’t do it. I know it’s because she’s had maids all her life. I asked her to do the dishes with me once and I thought she was going to vomit, I kid you not.”

At that, you laughed as you looked over your clipboard and the storyboard art. “That’s...that’s hilarious, I’m not gonna lie,” you admitted. “I can’t blame her though. Dishes suck and if she’s never done it…”

“It’s not just the dishes. I’ve asked her to make the bed. She didn’t do it because she couldn’t find the sheets, but the sheets have been in the same spot they always are when I clean. I ask her to clean the fridge out, she claims she doesn’t know what’s bad, but I can open it and find molded cheese and bad chicken within two seconds. She’s just so helpless when it comes to real world work.”

“Well, can she cook? Any woman that can cook must have something going for her,” you said, still looking at the clipboard as the crew set up the shot.

“No. I tried to get her to cook with me, you know, and she just scoffed and said something about only poor people cook. I mean, can you believe that?”

You shook your head, slightly laughing. “No, I can’t. She sounds a little spoiled, but it’s to be expected, right?”

You were trying to just stay honest with Sebastian. Did you want to push him and Marissa together? No. Did you want to give a girl you hadn’t met yet the benefit of the doubt? Yes. Did you want to badmouth a girl you didn’t know? No. But you alo didn’t want Seb to be with a girl that sounded this...egotistical.

“Yeah, I suppose… Doesn’t change the fact that she also told me that Spinee isn’t allowed on the bed any more.”

You turned to him and said, “Please tell me you told her to go fuck herself.”

He laughed out loud at your bold crass. “No, not quite. It sparked another argument between us. I told her he’s always slept on the bed and she just kept saying how he got fur all over her clothing and such.”

“Yeah, it’s what dogs do, but it’s amazing,” you said simply. “How can someone not let your little fluff baby not sleep on the bed?” you mused to yourself.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly as he shrugged.

----------------------

That night, you decided to do a little bit of research on her. You had heard of her family, and you were pretty sure you’d heard of her, but you didn’t know anything about her, not really. You checked her Instagram and Twitter. Sure enough, all the pictures of her were of her and friends, making sure she look the best, that she was at the front of the shot. No pictures of pets, friends, events. It was just all about her.

You checked for mention of Sebastian and it only seemed to come up when it could benefit her. She had pics of him on the red carpet with captions like “My man working the red carpet. Doesn’t he look so good?” Or at premieres, or interviews. There were about three photos of them together and it didn’t look...warm.

Then you noticed she was making rude comments about some of Sebastian’s friends.

“Mackie can’t wear that color. Just...Don’t.”

“Just watched Amazing Spiderman. Would’ve been better with my babe!”

“I hope Chris is ready to hand the torch of Cap America over to my guy! #lookoutcap”

You balked at her and her audacity to say such passive aggressive things about his friends, about your friends. This was so rude. How could Sebastian be with someone that was this mean to his friends?

Next, you were curious about how she modeled. You were, again, giving her the benefit of the doubt and hoping that at least she was a good model, but when you watched videos of her on the runway or for photoshoots, or saw her still photography, it wasn’t good. She had no life in her eyes, no spark to capture a viewer's attention for the stills. When she was on the runway she was clumsy, sloppy, and ran into girls at least once every show. In videos of her running into the media, she was usually hateful, cursed at them, and screamed at them. You found news articles where she refused to sign merch and fan items because she “didn’t want to mess up her nails”. You were trying hard to at least see something good in this girl, but all the signs were pointing to an awful person. She was selfish, rude, and uncaring. What did he see in her?

[graveyardari97]

I need this a whole sperate post.

[https://minority-media.tumblr.com/post/165119573343/life-is-strange-bury-your-gays-and-bullshit] -read this last night.

THIS RIGHT HERE BASICALLY SUMMERIZES HOW I FELT ABOUT THE ENDING OF THIS GAME AND WHY IT DESTROYS ME ON SO MANY LEVELS!

I didn’t even know what Life is Strange was until I saw video compilation of all the worse bury your gays. I didn’t even know that was an actually trope till I show it. I was just coming off the episode where they killed off Lexa I was so sad and pissed at the same time because I recently talked about how good the show was with how they were making the Clexa relationship but that even up in flames hella fucking quickly and I stopped watching. I tried to keep watching for the other actors I liked but I couldn’t do it then I think three episode later they kill off Lincoln a black man.

Anyways, in a way, Pricefield/Amberpice/Amberpricefield kinda mirrors Clexa in a way. The two medias gives us a strong relationship between two of the main leading ladies takes their time for you to love them as individual characters and then as a couple.

To later be like all this time and effort we put into this relationship was basically for shock vault it meant nothing here’s a relationship that’s drier than my hair!

Like, how many times do you want me to kill Chloe fucking game!? There was only two choice I didn’t think twice about and that was kissing Chloe and sacrificing the town! The whole game never gave me any reason to like the town. So, why make the right ending being the one where Chloe is dead?!

And another thing, people who think you’re a terrible person for nuking a whole town that didn’t give a fuck about the character we play gets me so mad.

I made a post a while ago talking about it and it will still piss me off. I don’t know much about the writing process in video game storyboarding but as an armature fanfiction writer, I thought of five different ways this could’ve played out.

Max could’ve re-winded back to the bathroom stopped Chloe from going in. She could have gone back to early in the game and warn people of the storm [sure people will think she’s crazy but there are beached whales] Chloe could’ve texted Max back in the BtS timeline “I’m having a shit day and mom’s got a shitty boyfriend that doesn’t like me. I want to hear your voice” IDK!

I am only 19-years-old and I could come up with a better story than the train wreck that Life is Strange is oh wait I already have!

I admit that I am a shit writer but a number of people that have read my original stories and liked it. Makes me really want to adapt my stories into a TV show. Shameless plug of my own story.

The war between hunters and supernaturals has been going on for years however the newer generation has brought this century long conflict all new sorts of drama. Follow the life of Ashley Kimaru and her group of friends as they fight off her ex-girlfriend who is hell-bent on ridding the world of these demons.

Does that sound interesting to you? If not the whole group of friends are in the LGBT+ and has/have dated one another and still make jokes about it daily. Here’s a something I wrote.

A twelve-year-old Ashley was sitting on the edge of the roof eating Sea Salt Ice Cream. It was the anniversary of the death of her parents, she was doing everything she could to avoid class.

“Hey what are you doing up?” asked young Jade.

Ashley looked up at her friend. “It’s that day. I can’t believe it’s been that long.” said young Ashley bringing her knees to her chest.

Jade confused. “What the hell are you going on about?” asked Jade.

Ashley sighs. “My parent’s death,” said Ashley.

Jade fumbles. “Oh, right I forgot. I’m sorry,” said Jade.

Ashley smiled at her best friend. “It’s not your fault,” said Ashley.

“I was wondering where my girlfriend when off too. Hey, babe you okay?” asked young Kylee.

Ashley shrugs “Hey K. I’m okay I guess.” said Ashley.

Jade not having any of this. “No, she’s not. It’s the day her parents were killed so she’s up here sulking,” said Jade.

Kylee frowns. “C'mon Ashley I don’t like seeing you sad,” said Kylee.

Ashley chocks back tears.“Sorry….I just can’t get his face out of my head,” said Ashley.

Jade sits next to her best friend letting her lean her head on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault! Listen to me you were only three. You couldn’t have done anything about it. Your parents would be proud of you now. The leader of a pack.” said Jade.

Ashley giggles. “You always know how to cheer me up, Kyuubi!” said  Ashley.

Jade nugs Ashley’s shoulder playfully. “Heh-heh it’s my job to cheer you up, Tanuki. If I can’t then who can?” said Jade.

Passing Jade a popsicle stick. “I’ll have to remember that. Hey, I got you this,” said Ashley.

Jade’s eyes lit up“Holy! You got me Sea Salt Ice Cream!?” asked Jade

Ashley grinned. “I know how much you wanted to try it. I bought it for you,” said Ashley

A bit hurt that her girlfriend didn’t think about her. “What I don’t get one?” asked Kylee.

Ashley gives her an apologetic look. “Sorry, I only bought one for Jade because she’s asked me to make her one,” said Ashley.

Kylee frowns. “Oh, okay then,” said Kylee.

Kylee stood there watching as her girlfriend was sitting there laughing with her ex-girlfriend. The two of them have known each other ever since they were kids. Jade met Ashley’s parents they were good friends after all. Sitting there listening to the stories about the adventures that Ashley and Jade had before and after the tragic event was making Kylee jealous.

Jade laughed recounting a remember. “You remember when you got stuck in that tree?” asked Jade

Ashley groans. “How could I forget? You had to run home to get my mom. I was so terrified of falling.” said Ashley.

Jade nodded. “Yeah, when I burst through the door mom thought you were really hurt. She ran out the house faster than I could keep up,” said Jade.

Ashley smiled. “She worried about me. When we got home that day she wanted me to remind you that she thanks you,” said Ashley.

Jade lean against Ashley. “I couldn’t let my best friend stay stuck in a tree. Besides dad would’ve kicked my ass,” said Jade.

Ashley grinned “Yeah, my dad would’ve been pissed if he heard you left me out to dry.” Ashley laughed.

Kylee looked at her girlfriend confused. “Wait, you call Ashley’s parents mom and dad too?” asked Kylee.

Jade nodded. “We’ve been friends since we were babies and our parents were friends too. So, it was like we had another set of parents,” said Jade.

Kylee side glared Jade.“Oh, so you two were really close huh?” asked Kylee in a bitter tone.

Ashley smirked. “Heh-heh-heh that’s an understatement. Jade was my first girlfriend.  My mom thought were going to get married.” said Ashley.

“Kylee shocked by this nearly falling off the roof. “What?!” asked Kylee.

Jade sighed. “After the death of her parents. Everything wasn’t the same anymore. I tried my best to keep her together but it wasn’t working out. So, we ended things.” said  Jade.

Ashley hit her head on Jade’s shoulder “Jade, I’m sorry I didn’t call for a while after that. I was so depressed with life,” said Ashley.

Jade wrapped her arm around Ashley. “Don’t worry about it Tanuki! I know you didn’t mean to cut me out of your life,” said Jade.

Ashley smiled up at Jade.“See this is why I love you so much! You always know how to cheer me up.” said Ashley.

Jade leaned her forehead against Ashley’s. “It comes with the job description. Best friends are there to cheer one another up.” chuckled Jade.

Ashley closed her eyes. “I’ll have to remember that next time,” said Ashley.

Jade kisses Ashley’s forehead.“See you don’t have to be depressed on this day,” said Jade.

Ashley smiled. “Thanks, Kyuubi,” said Ashley.

Jade shifted her weight. “Hey, I know what will cheer you up!” said Jade.

Ashley’s ears perk up. “You mean?”

Jade grinned. “Yup! Happy birthday,” said Jade as she handed Ashley a CD case.

“You did!” freaked Ashley.

Jade stuck her tongue out at Ashley with a wink. “Look at the back,” said Jade as Ashley flipped the case to the back as she gave Jade the biggest hug ever.

Kylee feeling left out. “What did she just give you?” asked Kylee.

“I got her the “Wicked” soundtrack and it’s signed Idina Menzel,” said Jade

Ashley smiled that her face hurt. “You’re the greatest, Jade!” said Ashley.

Jade shrug sheepishly. “You want to start playing it?” asked Jade

Ashley snapped her fingers. “You wanna sing “For Good” with me?” asked Ashley.

Jade nodded. “If I get to be Glinda,” said Jade

Ashley give her friend that look that said are you really gunna ask that. “Always,” said Ashley.

“I’ve heard said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them. And we help in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better but because I knew you. I have been changed for good.” sang Jade

“It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime. So, let me say before we part: So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend. Like a ship blown from it’s mooring By a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a skybird In a distant wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better But because I knew you.” sang Ashley

The two of them started singing the song as Kylee watched. Sitting there in complete and utter jealousy because she doesn’t know anything about Ashley or even Jade for that matter. It was that day everything went down hill for the three young girls.

I still think I’m a shit writer but I have been told otherwise. I don’t know I would love to know what you think.

Here’s to hoping one day maybe I do get this greenlit. I’m just tired of all the queerbaiting and guilt tripping these story writers are doing. They do not know what type of damage they are putting us through. I still find myself crying over Lexa’s death. And I keep thinking how sacrificing Chloe is the “good” ending of the game despite everything that Max is.

This isn’t about some fictional character dying! No, this is about how showrunners and whatever other people that want to make a story use us as shock value. It isn’t fair that there is a trope that is called burying your gays it isn’t fair that we are not looked at as being part of the fandom! Yeah, I’m looking at you Supergirl cast that mocked Supercorp and I don’t even watch Supergirl! I just want to see my story, my life being just as important as heterosexual ships. And it feels like we’re always fighting a losing a battle because people fail to see why we are so hurt.  

Dammit….now I made myself cry. I guess I’ve been holding onto that thought for a while now. It shouldn’t hurt this bad just because I’m gay. I shouldn’t have to fight to see people like me in media happy. This is the result of this trope having me yelling at my computer screen at 11:34 PM.

I just….can’t. Well, that’s my rant for today. I’m gunna get back to writing about my happy gay characters

Being gay shouldn’t hurt this much.

[the-master-cylinder]

BACKSTORY Both Stuart Gordon and his producer Brian Yuzna had talked about doing the film ever since they’d first teamed up for Re-Animator. “It’s always been my favorite Lovecraft story,” beams Gordon. “At one time, it looked like we were going to do it in England.”

Scheduling conflicts on Gordon’s other “Italian” pictures prevented the deal from taking off. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that a major studio and distributor finally expressed a sincere enough commitment to actually begin financing the project. “We set it up with Vestron,” Gordon recounts. “I had originally told them it would cost about $5 million. Vestron came back and said if we could do it for $4 million, we had a deal.”

Unlike other studio blowhards, Vestron put their money where their mouth was. “Vestron set us up in a production office,” Gordon details. “Brian and I did some location scouting through New England Massachusetts, Maine-and we managed to find an isolated town in Maine that was very much like Innsmouth. We also had the whole movie storyboarded and scheduled.”

Berni Wrightson, gifted illustrator and comics superstar hailed for Swamp Thing, was contacted and asked to consider the role of concept artist. Wrightson, is considered by his peers to have one of the finest hands in the business. His flowing, evocative pen-and-ink work is unparalleled in the graphic arts. Wrightson eagerly accepted the job. “It was the most fun experience I’ve ever had,” he attests. “I like working with Stuart. I loved Re-Animator, it reanimated me.”

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Like many. Wrightson remembers being disillusioned with the state of the horror film at the time he saw Re-Animator during its initial theatrical release. Then everything changed, forever. “I’d lost interest in horror films until I saw Re-Animator,” Wrightson confesses. “I’d given up. The imagination had gone out of them. It just wasn’t fun. Jason, Freddy, Michael-how can people keep coming back for the same old shit? I went to ReAnimator without any expectations, and I was absolutely delighted from the opening shot. It was like sitting through a real-life story from EC comics, drawn by Jack Davis.”

Wrightson had been devouring the works of H.P. Lovecraft since childhood and leapt at the chance to work on Shadow Over Innsmouth with a director he so admired. Wrightson had been out for the day and returned to find a phone message. His wife told him somebody named Gordon had called. “I wondered if it was the Stuart Gordon,” Wrightson gushes.

“Berni did some fabulous drawings and paintings for us,” Gordon praises. “He did a great job visualizing the creatures and making them scary. He played with the mutation idea. This wasn’t like a Planet of the Apes basic mask; each person had been affected in a different way.”

Wrightson worked nonstop for over a month and produced close to 70 drawings. Most were graphite illustrations, though several were done in color with mixed media. “Stuart told me to go crazy with it. We never settled on just one look,” Wrightson concurs. “Stuart kept wanting more and different designs. We had humanoid tadpoles, octopi, weird creatures with fins coming out of their ears.” The artist faithfully heeded Gordon’s directions and delivered a plethora of bizarre amphibious creatures that would eventually lead to a slight degree of consternation once the concepts were delivered to FX supervisor and makeup icon Dick Smith. “Dick called me.” Wrightson remembers, “and kind of scolded me, saying it wasn’t humanly possible. ‘You’ve got to have a human being under this stuff!

“Scolded’ is a bit strong.” smiles Smith, currently at work on Francis Coppola’s third Godfather film, “but this is a problem makeup effects people have with artists who work in two dimensions: You can draw anything you want-omit the brain pan, the cavity-yet then some designs can’t be done on a human being.”

Smith sculpted several full-size heads in addition to casting some prosthetic pieces designed as facial appliances. “I did a rough foam latex mouth and stuck it on somebody to see how it worked,” he discloses. “I was trying to avoid mechanical masks; they’re expensive and often counterproductive.” After the initial makeups were designed and proven viable, Smith was to act only as the film’s FX supervisor and consultant, with other crews employed to complete the actual fabrication and application. “The people I recommend are good enough that I’m not needed,” Smith adds. He picked Greg Cannom to execute the complex appliance makeup on the major characters because, “I saw a sculpture of his that I liked better than mine. His work is very organic.” John Caglione and Doug Drexler were to manufacture and apply the various other makeups and prosthetics needed for the close background creatures, as well as the slip-on masks to be worn by extras during the mob scenes.

Though by this time many participants’ hopes had been propelled to stratospheric heights, a Shadow Over Vestron began to gather, casting serious doubts on the ultimate feasibility of the project. Other production companies had expressed similar trepidation in the past, mostly because of the ambitious scope of the story.

“It’s a big picture,” Gordon explains. “You’re dealing with things that are notoriously scary for producers: lots of makeup effects, lots of water, needing an actual town for location shooting. And then there’s the story. The basic idea was a problem. If you explain it to another person, it sounds absurd. The idea of people turning into fish sounds like a joke.” Future developmental plans and preproduction meetings would refer to the mutants as “amphibious creatures.”

Both Gordon and writer Dennis Paoli knew that they also had to add some modern touches to a story that Lovecraft had set in the 1920s. Gordon, Paoli and producer Yuzna all had a hand in the original treatment, but it was up to Paoli to write a script that would measure up to show biz standards.

“What can I do to adapt to a ‘Hollywood’ viewpoint?” asks Paoli rhetorically. “Add a woman, since very few Lovecraft stories include women; speed the pace up, because Lovecraft is atmospheric; you have to have a scene at the beginning the hook, something that quickly tells the whole story.”

Special Makeup Effects supervised by Dick Smith

Special Makeup Effects supervised by Dick Smith

At one time, The Shadow Over Innsmouth was envisioned as a period piece. As Paoli notes, “Lovecraft feeds off the darkness of the 19th century, the puritanical side of New England culture.” Budgetary restrictions and commercial viability soon swayed the production team into a more modern approach. The town in Maine was replaced by one in Washington state. A fishy love story was added as subtext. Parts of another Lovecraft story, “The Thing on the Doorstep,” were added in order to heighten the drama. Gordon further isolated the town until it was entirely cut off from its neighboring burg. “We made it an island,” says Gordon, “so you had to take a ferry to get there. Both of the major location sites offered enthusiastic townspeople who were willing to do nearly anything to attract the film company. “They offered themselves as extras, said we could blow up a dockside building,” Gordon recalls appreciatively. “They were willing to let us do whatever we wanted to shoot the film in their town.”

However, both Gordon and Yuzna soon realized that their imaginations were running far ahead of the budget. Vestron was fairly adamant about the set figure and Gordon began to be haunted by the additional $3 million he figured would be needed to do the treatment justice. “It became very frustrating.” Gordon recalls. “The further we got into it, we realized it couldn’t be made for that. For less than $7 million, you would lose what made Shadow so special in the first place.”

Vestron refused to budge. Gordon counters, “For $4 million, there could be no town, probably just a house, with one family turning amphibious. We had a climactic sequence taking place on the reef; that too would have to go. Probably there would be no water in the story at all.”

Gordon arrived at a point where he knew the compromised version would be so far removed from Lovecraft that there would be no point in calling it The Shadow Over Innsmouth. “It was a mutual realization,” Gordon sighs. “We all knew we just couldn’t do it right for $4 million.” Despite Gordon’s overall cheerfulness and enthusiasm, it is at this point that a hint of genuine sadness and frustration begins to creep into his voice. This project obviously meant a helluva lot to all of them.

“It was a wonderful story,” adds Dick Smith. “It’s just a pity that the producers were stuck with the budget. Stuart didn’t want to do it half-assed, and I respect him for that.”

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY FANGORIA#106 BEST OF FANGORIA 9

Empire Pictures – Shadow Over Innsmouth (1985/1991) Unfilmed BACKSTORY Both Stuart Gordon and his producer Brian Yuzna had talked about doing the film ever since they'd first teamed up for Re-Animator.

[mistryofthefuture-pt-2]

Reflection

For our Teamwork and Practices module, we were given a brief by Ocado, where we had to work in groups to produce a 10 to 20 second video promoting the company. In our groups we had to create a story board and from this, create a video ad that would be shown on their Facebook or Instagram site using the slogan “The world’s foods at your fingertips”. Before we started working on our concept, we went on a site visit to Ocado’s head office, where we were able to see how they developed and worked on various projects. When we were there, we got a tour of the whole office and we were able to talk to some of the members of the design team to see what they were currently working on. I found this very helpful as I got to see the type of style Ocado are known for and how they work, especially when looking at their photography and stop motion work. They also spoke about how they aren’t just a supermarket and develop their own high tech, which gave me an idea for the concept. Our group came up with three concepts which we all put input in and created 3 different storyboards.

Once we had decided which concept we wanted to do, we further developed the idea, so that we were all happy with it and then created a final story board. The final concept we came up with was a robotic arm, like the ones Ocado use in their warehouses, which picks up a mango from Spain; where their mangoes are sources from and picks it up, throwing it to the UK. Then a human hand catches it with the slogan coming in to frame and the discount information as the final frames. We pitched our idea to Ocado and they had some feedback such as making sure the viewer knows the robotic arm isn’t random. This is because most people know Ocado as only a supermarket and not a company that develops technology. To this we had the idea of putting the logo clearly on the hand so that it wasn’t portrayed to the viewer as a random robotic arm with no context. As they gave their feedback, they mentioned that they were pleased that we highlighted two of the main aspects of their company which is freshness of the produce and the high tech they use to carry out their service. So, what we wanted to express with our video was using the worlds finest technology to bring their customers the freshest fruit from around the world.

For our video we decided to use a mix of animation and photography because in our group, I had the idea of the whole thing being in animation, whereas Ali had the intention of creating it using photography stop motion. Before we had clarified this, I had started to illustrate the human hand catching the mango, but then we didn’t end up using it as we used photography for that part. We compromised and mixed the two together thinking realistically, using photography for the human hand and mango part of our concept and the robotic arm; which we wouldn’t be able to re-create in real life part of our concept using animation. Even though we had different ideas in how to execute our concept we easily resolved this issue, however I feel like I took more control in the decision making than Ali. We divided the work between the two of us, so Ali handled the illustration of the robotic arm, while I illustrated and photoshopped them. I liked how we did this because we both focused on our strengths and we both put equal effort in creating our video ad. However, we did have a third member of our group but she wasn’t present when we would meet up and work. She was involved with the beginning concept development and then at the end with the script of the narrative but otherwise, she was not involved when it came to the actual creation of the video ad. I did research in to working with difficult members when working in group projects and came across a forum with other people who shared their experiences and similar views. From this I realised I had two options when dealing with absent members of a group, either “flunk the work in the name of 'fairness' or work your ass off and make sure that you get a good grade. It's not ideal, but it happens all the time” (GoingToBurst, 2017). However, I did put the effort in to try make her come in by messaging her, so she could work with us but was constantly given excuses or was ignored for long periods of time. She eventually called me a day before we nearly finished the project asking what to do but ended up not turning up yet again and when she did in the last few days, gave minimal effort and had little participation.

With the photography process, we took them at my flat and I bought a mango which was all green so that we could transition the Ocado symbol on it, however while taking the photos we faced problems with the shutter speed. When Ali threw the mango in the air the shutter was too slow and we couldn’t lower the shutter speed as it was on the lowest second. This meant it didn’t take enough images that we had originally wanted without it being blurry. Luckily enough we got a few frames to work with that fit together.  With the help of Ali editing the images, we were able to manipulate some of the photos to work within the sequence. Then we moved everything to After effects which Ali did while I made the script for the narration with Kim, until she left and then I had to make the recording of it in time with the video.

On the day of our presentation, I came in early to work on the presentation because time management was a problem for our group since Ali commuted and Kim was unreliable. Me and Ali worked on the presentation and we presented first however, we weren’t prepared which gave off a bad impression. When we had to introduce ourselves Ali froze up and so I intervened to rectify the mistake that had been made. I also had to intervene when Kim was pitching because she was pitching an idea that she had no knowledge or part in. So overall, I was disappointed in our delivery as a team. The feedback Ocado gave us was mostly positive as they liked our idea and how we executed it, but there were small changes they would use like using a different fruit since they thought it should be more of a rounder fruit so that it could merge with the earth. Also, our final video needed smoothening out which I agree to, as it would look better if the transitions were smoother and we used more motion graphic animation but overall they liked it.

To conclude, I found this live brief very educational when working in a group and I have found that I personally take charge even when I don’t want to because I am a headstrong person and that even if I face problems in my group, I will get my work done with or without them. If I could do this again, I would be more considerate when choosing my group members and I would like to focus more on the After Effects side. This is because I feel like I don’t know how to use the programme even though my whole video was put together using it. Also I will try to be less controlling when it comes to ideas as it is my strong suit and tend to dismiss other people’s ideas.

   The Student Room (2018) Surviving group work. [online] Available at: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4561816 [Accessed 23 Nov. 2018].

[zachwritesstuff]

Awesome Trevor: The Long and Winding Road

I’m very used to writing things about other people, products and properties. So this one is going to be a slightly weird one for me. It’s a story of hopeful imagination, and disappointment; Of long hours working to make things perfect, and never finding it; And going through version, formats, people, places and ideas just to keep an idea afloat. But, most importantly, it’s the story of Awesome Trevor, an idea that is eight years in the making, yet so far has not given any worthwhile fruit, no matter how hard we tried. In writing this out, I’m hoping to both show the trials and tribulation of taking an idea from concept to fruition, and how impossible it might seem sometimes. Idealism and inspiration can be a hell of a stimulant, while stalling and depression can be a hell of a… depressant. So maybe someone can get something interesting out of it, or at least find the whole saga entertaining, I don’t know. I should probably quit stalling and actually get to the point… It all started...

Part 1: The Movie

The year is 2010. Just barely out of high school, I was now in Community College, and not working, which was a dumb idea for many reasons. I had worked on independent, or more accurately, amateur, film projects a dozen times, both for class and simply because I wanted to. None of them were good. Despite the fact that I was an adult, I still was not a competent film maker (And some might say that I still am not). But I was young, and still had the delusions of being a big shot director someday. All I needed, I reasoned, was a big project to really pick things up and get a bit of a spotlight. I could continue making simple YouTube videos, but if I actually wanted to get anywhere, I needed to make something bigger.

So I had to make a feature film.

I talked to my regular cohort, Evan Greenhoe. I had known him for a few years at this point, having met when I was still in high school, and we had the same thirst for creating. While he was more of the on camera type, acting and performing music (he still is, but he was then too), I always felt more comfortable behind the scenes, writing and directing. We had talked over projects before, as we always loved making ideas and fleshing them out, and when I told him my desire to make a feature film, he almost instantly handed me the idea of Awesome Trevor.

He had come up with the idea with his girlfriend, Sarah, and had held onto the idea for a little while, never fully formed, but when we started talking about making bigger things, he figured it would be a fit. He had never really formed the idea too terribly deeply, beyond making it a video game inspired piece of a regular joe becoming a hero and saving the princess. We talked out the idea over several days, and eventually we had a strong base to work off of.

Now before I go any further, there is one important note I must add. Around this time, Scott Pilgrim vs The World had just come out. This is important because, in the beginning, Awesome Trevor was a rip off of that. In later years, we would change the story around to make it it’s own thing, but to start with, it was a story of a kind of loser dude going on a quest to save his ex girlfriend from a bunch of people from her past, one of which is even a weird ninja girl. It was a copy.

Now that we had our base, the next step was to write out this masterpiece of original fiction. This was no problem, as I had already written out a few feature length scripts before (all of them going unused, of course). While writing, though, I decided to change up the flow a bit: Instead of one movie, I would make it a six part series, and after all parts were released, I would edit them together as a movie! My genius knew no bounds…

So I got to writing this newly formatted script. I filled it with video game references, witty dialogue, and set it in local areas, so that it would be simpler to film. I introduced the amnesiac main character, Trevor; His tired roommate, Mark; The mysteriously vanished girlfriend, Mary; and the 4 mysterious bosses, Kevin Kurochi, Peyote Jones, Stephanie Connor and Samuel Tanner. The story was of Trevor, who woke up after a heavy night of drinking, to find his memories of a former girlfriend gone, and going on an adventure to get them back with the help of his quip filled roommate.

My wit, it burns....

    The scripts, well… They weren’t great. They weren’t bad for an untrained 20 year old, but I would like to think I’ve come a long way from when I wrote them. But the most important thing was, we had our scripts. Now started the pre-production.

We pretty much had our cast right off, as they were mostly friends of ours. I was going to play Samuel, who was a bouncer at a club with super strength; Evan was to play Mark, the plucky costar; Kevin (a samurai), Peyote (a drugged out metal guitarist) and Stephanie (a cloaked ninja) were going to be played by our friends Ken, Adolf and Amber respectively; And Mary, who appeared as herself in only one scene, was planned to be played by a woman named Amanda Alch. who I was going to school with at the time and was already an established actress (Bad Kids Go To Hell and Claws). It’s likely she doesn’t even remember agreeing to appear in it, which is probably for the best.

Our starring role went to a good friend of mine from high school named Kyle Mason. Then, he was a kid in his late teens with an interest in cosplay and video production. Nowadays, he is a professional cosplayer and video producer, so he’s not doing too shabby. It didn’t take much convincing to have him play the lead role, and we were off to the races!

A Readthrough of the script, which of course didn’t go through any editing

I had even asked a dude I had met in college named James to be our Director of Photography, as he had had more experience working on original projects and camera work. Our hearts were working faster than our minds, and we skipped over dozens of important steps (setting proper schedules, storyboarding, finding proper funding, etc) in our pursuit, instead focusing on marketing, finding places to film, and practicing our parts. We even had popular content producers Video Games Awesome plug our project on their show, despite the fact that there was not any actual substance behind anything we were doing.

Timestamp is at 9:24. A preview of what never comes...

The best way to sum this up is that is was an embarrassment to filmmaking. Had we actually started production as planned, everyone involved would probably hate each other, and the entire thing would be scrapped after about two episodes. I was saved by James cancelling his involvement, probably rightly sensing that this all was half assed, causing the production to fall behind and ultimately being cancelled due to people no longer being available.

And so the first part of this story ends with but a wisp of smoke that was our hope for a movie. Though we possibly dodged a bullet, I was still frustrated and disappointed by all of it, so I put the idea on hiatus and started working on other things. It would lay there for 3 years before it appeared again…

Part 2: The First Cartoon

2013. I was out of community college, and at the University of Texas. I didn’t fit in very well, and being farther away from home and friends made me a bit of a sad, lonely hermit. I knew several people at school, and though I would consider many of them friends now, back then, they were just classmates.

To occupy my time, I was doing side work for Frederator Studios, makers of such fine cartoons as Adventure Time, Fairly Odd Parents, and Chalkzone. I had become friendly with Fred Seibert, the founder of Frederator, after interviewing him a couple years prior, and he had let me make some videos for their YouTube Channel. While I was doing work there, they started up their Cartoon Hangover project, where people could pitch their own cartoons with relative ease, and if Frederator liked it, they would produce a full cartoon short.

This seemed like an amazing opportunity for both myself and Evan, who had experience with animation. I talked to him about it, and he was on board before I even finished explaining the whole thing to him. Like we always do, we started discussing ideas, and after long deliberations, we narrowed it down to three: Captain Amazo, the idiotic superhero; Metal Mania, which was about a metal bad traveling through space to be the biggest band in the galaxy; And, of course, Awesome Trevor, back from the dead.

Well, back from the dead is a slight misnomer. We had discussed the idea once more in between, thinking of bringing it back as a comic. We got far in our discussions, but never made any physical items to go with it, and soon it went back into its slumber.

Editing note: After reviewing the article, Evan has told me that he actually made a comic cover that he never showed me. The cover, unfortunately, has been lost to time.

Both of us were still feeling the sting from the failed mini-series/movie, and as we were now a little bit older, we decided to be a bit wiser as well. Not wise enough to not choose Awesome Trevor, mind you, but also hedging our bets by pitching two shows, the other being Captain Amazo. (Note: we did plan to pitch Metal Mania as well, but we never got around to finishing it).

So this process was pretty much a rinse and repeat. I went home and made a script, and from there, we began working on a pitch. This new script, while not a ton better than the originals, was still an improvement, and since we weren’t having to go through pre-production and big planning meetings, we were able to take stuff in stride. We kept the same general story, but decided to make stuff bigger and flashier, as we weren’t limited by the shackles of real life. We also changed around some of the character designs, as we wanted to have new actors play the characters.

I’m sure I thought of the shirt designs. I’m a comedy genius.

We kept the base designs of Mark and Trevor, but Samuel the Bouncer was changed to match the person we really wanted to play him, Seanbaby. Once Satisfied, we storyboarded everything out  and sent them in to Frederator, eagerly awaiting the approval so we can start again on our dream project.

I wrote in the dialogue myself, despite my awful handwriting.

As these are the first you are ever seeing of the characters or story, it’s needless to say that we were denied. The problem with it was that, whoops, we had sent a full storyboard, when in fact they wanted a beat board (like a storyboard, but using thumbnails instead of large images). He also noted that the end of this pitch was left as a “To Be Continued”, and that they were looking for standalone ideas instead of pitches for full series.

Part 3: The Second Cartoon

While again disappointed, this wasn’t a denial based on content, instead just the way it was presented. So we went back to the literal drawing board and reworked the idea into a standalone. It was at this point, in the first time since the idea was formed, that we decided to change the story up. While we kept the saving the girl idea (as to us, it felt like a very video-game thing), we made him more of a player-character like character, almost like an avatar battling in a game.

Looking back through the beat boards we made, they were lame. While I had grown as a writer, I focused way too much on trying to make something someone else would like, and wrote in a very cliched way. Instead of trying to introduce or establish characters, I made Mark and Trevor generic, and didn’t even give defined forms to the people they were fighting. The jokes were bad, the characters were one note, and for some reason I felt the need to physically write out the dialogue on the sheet, despite the fact that I have terrible handwriting.

Seriously, why did I feel the need to write in the dialogue?!

Evan tried his best to work with what he was given, but I feel that I dropped the ball on this one. And of course it showed when I sent it in and got a response from Eric Homan, who runs all the creative development at Frederator.

“Thanks, Zach, for the work and continued interest.

Unfortunately, "Awesome Trevor" is very far away from what we're looking for in our Cartoon Hangover shorts, in everything from character to story to tone.

I may have recommended this before, but I really suggest you take a look at our shorts as we begin to release them in a few weeks. I think they'll give a better indication of the types of cartoons for which we're looking.

Thanks, again.

-- Eric”

In everything from character to story to tone. That said what needed to be said. Even though I was sour at the time, with five years of hindsight, I realized that Eric was, as he often is, completely right about it, in more way than I could have thought. It was a slapdash job on an idea that was already starting to become kind of stale. We tried to change it up, but in trying to rush this idea to get it made (I checked, there was literally one month between the denial of the first pitch and sending in the second pitch), I did a poor job and let both of us down.

I of course blamed people like Eric, who was just telling me the truth, and situations like my school life, which was causing me anxiety and depression, but deep down I knew that I had done poorly. I had taken this idea, that wasn’t even mine originally, and basically ruined it to the point where we felt like we couldn’t do anything more with it. So at this point, I want to make two apologies. One to Eric, who was simply trying to help and harboured resentment towards for years, and one to Evan, who I kind put a lot of pressure on while we were working on these, and probably wasn’t the best person to work with. Um… My bad.

Part 4: The Past and Future

That last one was probably the last major wave we had in trying to produce Awesome Trevor. It pops up in conversations of ideas a lot, but nothing ever comes to fruition. The closest that ever came after the second cartoon debacle was another video game video series related idea I had. The idea was of an NPC in an open world game who breaks programming and tries to fight back against the player character, who repeatedly kills people for no reason. After discussing that idea for a while, we thought of attaching the Awesome Trevor name to it, as they were both vaguely video game related, and even started jotting down some story ideas. But, like many plans, this one faded away, and was soon in the vault, like the thousand other things we come up with…

And, well, that’s kind of the end. There might have been an expectation of some kind of twist or surprise announcement, but that’s not always how things go. At this point, Awesome Trevor is just an old idea, one that had stewed in our minds for years now. It comes up in conversations every few months, maybe trying out a cartoon pitch again, or doing it as a podcast series, but so far, nothing is set in stone. Hell, it’s possible that after this, a new vigor of interests might pop up inside of us, and the world is finally introduced to this plan that is now 8+ years in the making. You never really can tell.

The main reason I wanted to write this was to just put this all out there, and finally view something of it. Maybe I wanted people to finally see this thing that has been on my mind for a portion of my life. Maybe it’s a cautionary tale of not stepping back and taking the necessary steps to make something come to life properly. Or maybe it’s simply my plea of vanity, begging someone to tell me what I made was good. At this point, I can’t really tell. I just hope someone enjoyed it enough to get to the end.

And man, did it get kind of depressing at the end. Well, for those who made it here, here is your secret easter egg ending. Presented in full is the original draft to the Awesome Trevor Theme Song, produced by the extremely talented Evan Greenhoe. Thank you for reading!