#my “kill your gay” disaster

[steviewashere]

They Were Roommates!

Rating: Mature CW: None Relationships: Steve/Eddie, Steve & Robin, Eddie & Robin, Eddie & Chrissy, Robin/Chrissy Tags: Alternate Universe — Modern Setting, Texting, Dialogue Only, Text Fic, Humor, Sexual Humor, Bad Flirting, Mild Angst, Stardew Valley References, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Eddie Munson is a Little Shit, Robin Buckley is a Little Shit, Chrissy Cunningham is a Sweetheart, Alternate Universe — Roommates/Housemates, Robin Buckley is a Chappell Roan Fan, Steve Harrington is Chronically Offline, Eddie Munson is Chronically Online, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Gay Disaster Eddie Munson, Alternate Universe — No Upside Down, Alternate Universe — No Supernatural Elements, Neurodivergent Steve Harrington, Neurodivergent Eddie Munson, Neurodivergent Robin Buckley Originally posted here on AO3, but I felt it was time to bring it over to Tumblr. Lots of sexual jokes in here, I'm sorry lol

📱—————📱

Steve: Do you wanna hang out in my room? I could rent that new Kristen Stewart movie.

Robin: Can’t. I’m being gay and listening to music.

Steve: …what?

Robin: I’m being gay and listening to music.

Steve: You’re…??? I don’t understand.

Robin: Chappell Roan.

Steve: ? Who?

Robin: Chappell Roan. The singer. The lesbian icon. Chappell Roan.

Seen 2h ago

——— Eddie: hey

Steve: Hey? Aren’t you driving? Why are you texting me?

Eddie: yeah, about that

Eddie: I was driving home and I guess I ran over a nail?? or maybe a sharp stick or something? I dunno but now I have a flat tire and I need to be picked up

Steve: You don’t have a spare? Shouldn’t you carry one for a van like that?

Eddie: steve.

Steve: Eddie.

Eddie: what makes you think somebody like me has a spare tire?? I don’t even have a modern radio in this fuckass van why would I have a spare tire

Steve: So that you don’t get in situations like this? Forget the spare tire. Where are you? I’ll come get you.

Eddie: I’m uhhhh……at Walmart in the parking lot

Eddie: I got something for your birthday so you cant look inside of my bag

Eddie: god, this shit is a pain in the ass

Eddie: this would’ve never happened if harambe didn’t die

Steve: Who?

Eddie: you’re joking. steve, tell me you’re joking and that you know who harambe is.

Steve: Was he a friend of yours?

Eddie: holy shit. you don’t know who harambe is. what the hell were you doing in 2016

Steve: 🙄 

Steve: Can you just tell me so that I can pick you up and we can have dinner?

Eddie: you’re gonna have to sit down for this

Eddie: basically, harambe was this gorilla in the……cincinnati zoo, I think?? anyway he was this gorilla that was just sorta vibing in his enclosure and then this little boy fell in

Steve: Oh my god. Is the boy okay?

Eddie: oh, the boy is totally fine

Eddie: the zoo killed the gorilla tho

Seen just now

Eddie: steve? hello?

Steve: They killed the gorilla? Did the gorilla even do anything?

Eddie: nope

Steve: So they just killed an innocent gorilla?

Eddie: yeah

Eddie: they thought he’d kill the kid

Seen just now

Eddie: soooo….u on ur way?

Eddie: steve?

Eddie: steeeeveeeeee

Steve: Hold on, dude.

Eddie: I can order an uber

Steve: Just give me a fucking second. I’m crying in the middle of our apartment’s courtyard, Jesus Christ.

Steve: A little boy just asked if I was okay and I had to tell him that some zoo killed a gorilla and now he’s crying with me.

Steve: You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.

Eddie: ???

Eddie: we sleep in separate beds. in separate rooms.

Steve: Couch.

Eddie: ….fine, m’lord. sorry.

——— Robin: why did you tell him about Harambe?

Eddie: he asked!

Robin: he. won’t. stop. using. my. computer.

Robin: even when I get it back, there’s like five tabs in my history about that fucking gorilla.

Robin: wait. hold on.

Eddie: oh, god. Is he crying again?

Eddie: I’m already at the store. I’ll get him a tub of that mudslide ice cream and uhhh…do you think he likes red or white roses??

Eddie: there’s a sale on those big Reese’s easter eggs….I’ll get him a few of those

Eddie: do you think it’s too much to get him balloons…

Eddie: robin? hello? why do you guys just stop responding?

Robin: dude. he reads People magazine. like…

Robin sent a photo

Robin: that’s his inbox, dude. he left himself logged in and there’s like fifty of these People emails.

Eddie: robs, don’t kick a guy while he’s down

Eddie: that’s poopy :(

Robin: you’re the reason he’s feeling so shitty! suck his dick or something, fuckhead. that might make him feel better

Eddie: yeah? you think?

Eddie: doesn’t he use flavored condoms though? 

Eddie: mmmm…strawberry dick

Robin: HE BOUGH CHAPPELL ROAN TICKETS??? THE BASTARD

Robin: he doesn’t even know who she is…

Robin: also

Robin: please don’t send me “mmmm….strawberry dick” ever again.

Eddie: sto psnooping and i won’t do that

Robin: …no

Eddie: get ready for me to suck your best friend’s dick, then. I got him three of those Reese’s eggs, a tub of ice cream, a bouquet of white roses, and Walmart’s finest boxed wine.

Eddie: he’ll forget about his woes with ye olde harambe

Eddie: cuz he’ll only think of my name, motherfucker

Seen just now

Robin: I hate u

Eddie: eat my farts

Robin: 🖕

Eddie: I love you too, robs

Robin: get me sprite please.

Robin: and pads ultra absorbent in the orange wrapper.

Eddie: will do with haste, m’lady

Eddie: got you a new bottle of midol and a large chewy nerds rope

Robin: thank you

Robin: just don’t tell me when you suck his dick, that’s all I ask

Eddie: I make no promises.

Seen just now

——— Steve: Why is there like five Reese’s eggs sitting on my bedspread right now?

Eddie: I’m apologizing

Steve: For?

Steve: Wait…Is this about that gorilla? Dude, don’t worry about that. You could’ve told me that it happened eight years ago.

Eddie: oh thank god

Eddie: robin keeps encountering me in the kitchen in the middle of the night with her scary lesbian aura and the eyes sharp enuf to kill a man

Eddie: I got you ice cream and flowers, too did you see them ????

Seen 3m ago

Steve: When are you coming home?

Eddie: uhhhhh

Eddie: like two hours my shift here should be done by then if my dickwad of a manager lets me out on time

Eddie: fucker might ask me to stay back tho because the closers can’t do their jobs

Eddie: why?

Steve: I need to eat your love straight out of your asshole.

Eddie: Jesus

Eddie: …

Eddie: damnit Steve, now I’m fully erect in the walk-in

Steve: You can’t come home now?

Eddie: no sweetheart I can’t

Seen 5m ago

Steve: I put your pillows on my bed. If you don’t fuck me into next Sunday when you come back, I’ll tell Robin you’re the reason our couch has a huge stain on it.

Eddie: mmm

Eddie: you drive a hard bargain but…ok.

Steve: Really? You’re easy to convince.

Eddie: you kidding me? I’ve been wanting you in bed with me since the day I met you, pretty boy

Eddie: im fucking over the moon right now that my proposition worked

Steve: If you call it “propositioning” one more time, Robin will know about the couch.

Eddie: okay fine, I’m not propositioning

Eddie: I’m rizzing you up

Steve: What does that mean?

Eddie: you’re so offline and it’s doing things to me

Eddie: charming. I’m charming u

Eddie: you’re my favorite old person.

Steve: ?

Steve: I’m twenty-three.

Eddie: whatever you say, peepaw

Eddie: I gotta go have to take care of this massive hard-on you gave me. can’t wash dishes like this

Steve: Yeah? We should put that to the test.

Eddie: and I’m the freak ??

Seen just now

——— Robin has created a group chat with two other people

Robin: the next time you guys resolve the issues you two idiots create for each other, can you let me know ahead of time? you’re lucky I didn’t bring Chrissy home with me from class.

Eddie: I don’t know what you’re talking about nothing happened

Robin: I thought somebody brought home a girl, but it was just Steve.

Steve: Do I sound like a pretty girl at least?

Robin: the prettiest, but seriously. 

Robin: I don’t need to hear you guys getting it on while I’m trying to eat my after school taco.

Eddie: don’t you need Chrissy for that ??

Robin: I’m going to put nair in your shampoo.

Steve liked a message: "the prettiest, but seriously."

Steve: I’m ordering pizza. You guys want cheesy bread?

Robin: Yes!

Eddie: plz? With the garlic dip too 🥺 ??

Steve liked a message: "plz? with the garlic dip too 🥺 ??"

Robin: you text like a bottom

Steve: Trust me, he’s not. ;)

Robin: uggghhhhh!! I’m so proud of you two but also go fuck yourselves, you turds

Eddie: with pleasure

Eddie: robs, steve and I are gonna have sex before the pizza gets here

Robin: you two are insufferable.

Robin: I’m gonna sit on the porch and call my girlfriend. before I implode.

Delivered 10m ago

Robin: Chrissy says congratulations.

Delivered 2m ago

——— Eddie: robs, I’m about to have birthday sex with Steve

Eddie: put your headphones on

Robin: he opened that game you got him and immediately needed to do it? Jesus

Eddie: about to get me a slice of that birthday cake if you know what I mean

Robin: please just shut up.

——— Robin: Eddie.

Eddie: ? wut

Robin: you need to tell your boyfriend that he can’t use voice to text when you two are flirting

Robin: I was on the phone with my fucking gyno’s office and I could hear him through the other room say

Robin: and I quote

Robin: “I’m going to ravish that perky ass of yours.”

Robin: my gyno asked me if I was busy, Edward. busy having buttsex with my platonic soulmate. I was humiliated.

Robin: I need you to have a convo with him or something.

Eddie: u should buy earplugs

Robin: I WAS ON THE PHONE, EDWARD

Robin: ON THE PHONE WITH MY VAGINA DOCTOR

Robin: IT WAS EMBARRASSING FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED

Eddie: but he’s such a slow typer

Eddie: it’s literally like watching my uncle try and use his phone

Eddie: but fine.

Eddie: I’ll make him play that game I got him or something instead of text me

Robin: fucking thank you

Robin: and stop leaving your dildo in the bathtub

Eddie: wut dildo ?? I don’t own a dildo

Robin: …

Robin: I’m gonna wring his neck, brb

Eddie: he’s using a dick that isn’t mine ?? :(

Delivered 10m ago

——— Steve: If I can’t use voice to text to flirt, then you shouldn’t be able to have loud phone sex with Chrissy, Robs.

Robin: …no comment

Eddie: are u having loud phone sex with MY platonic soulmate ??

Eddie: bro…

Robin: she told me my trumpet tounging skills were good and that she couldn’t stop thinking about them

Robin: 😔 so I got horny with it, I’m sorry

Eddie: birdie getting horny on main ?? with a praise kink of all things ??

Steve: Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time.

Eddie reacted to a message: "Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time."

Eddie: sorry sweetheart, ’twas only in jest

Robin: I thought Stevie was listening to music while playing his farm game! I didn’t think he could hear me!

Eddie: tsk tsk

Robin: I’m going to Chrissy’s. and turning my notifs off.

Eddie: where does she live ??

Robin: what? you’ve been to her parent’s house

Eddie: in pound town ?!!

Eddie: oh that… that sent too l8

Steve: Eddie, can you come back from your uncle’s? I started playing Stardew Valley this morning and I’m at a point where I need to find the mayor’s shorts. I don’t know where they are.

Steve: Never mind. Got them.

Steve: Why were they in Marnie’s room?

Eddie: steve… baby …

Steve: ?

Eddie: they were having crazy sex animal style

Seen just now

Steve disliked a message: "they were having crazy sex animal style"

Steve: When are you going to stop being on the internet? It’s fundamentally changed something in you that I don’t think can ever be reverted.

Eddie: that would be whimsy, m’lord

Eddie: and childlike wonder

Robin: can you guys get a room? I’m trying to drive and my stupid car play keeps reading out your text messages.

Steve: Why won’t this character leave his bedroom? Is he Eddie?

Eddie: … ur so feisty today

Steve: Feisty for you.

Robin: GET A ROOM, YOU FREAKS

Delivered just now

——— Robin: I just got home and Steve’s in the exact same spot on the couch that I left him in at like noon. it’s six.

Eddie: is he seriously still on that game I got him ??

Robin: the farm game, right? otherwise, he bought a new game while I was gone

Eddie: yeh. he mentioned it like once and I thought it wood be nice for his birthday but now I’m regretting my choices

Robin: I just peeked my head into the living room and he’s currently feeding chickens on the big screen and cooing at them as if they’re real. I don’t think we’re gonna be watching Chopped tonight.

Eddie: 😔 that’s my favorite part of our dinners tho

Robin: it’s your fault. he’s been on there since like eight this morning.

Robin: I heard him yelling about some bitch named Pierre because he couldn’t buy seeds. I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing game??

Eddie: it usually is but you know Steve

Eddie: he rages over like every game

Eddie: I just thought it would be a change of pace from that match three game he keeps getting himself sucked into

Robin: mmm…that royal match one, right? he keeps sending me invites. think he’s on like level 560.

Eddie: how ?? he started playing that two days ago

Robin: pattern recognition.

Eddie: ahhh yeahhh pattern recognition

Eddie: the reason why every horror movie marathon ends up boring for him

Eddie: he figured out the killers in the new scream movies within the first ten minutes

Robin: he’s yelling about someone named marnie?? he needs to buy hay but can’t get it. I might need you to come back from your uncle’s and convince him to put the controller down.

Eddie: no, marnie can go fuck herself. she’s having an affair with the mayor and putting everybody’s animals in jeopardy.

Robin: so much rage and gossip for a game about farming.

Seen just now

Robin: Eddie, he’s making kissy noises at an NPC and telling him that he’s gonna capture all the frogs in the world.

Robin: should I be worried?

Eddie: nah, just let him be at least this is giving him something to do

Eddie: he’s been having a pretty bummer week

Eddie: had a phone call with his parents. didn’t end well.

Robin: ah, okay. will you pick up our normal pizza order on your way back?? I’m not in the mood to cook tonight.

Eddie: yeh, sure

Robin: remind me to send you money on Venmo.

Robin: I’m gonna get him to info dump.

Robin: maybe I’ll start playing with you guys, too.

Eddie: don’t worry about the Venmo thing. but I am going to force you to play. think you’ll love it.

Eddie: although, then I’ll have to deal with two Stardew addicts

Eddie: oh well, be home soon

Seen 2m ago

——— Robin: can Chrissy live with us?

Eddie: I don’t see a problem with it, homie

Steve: Yeah, I don’t see why not.

Steve: Is everything okay though? Does she need a place to stay right now?

Robin: everything’s fine, Stevie. don’t need to worry

Robin: I just want her with me and as much as I love you guys, I’m tired of being the only woman in the apartment

Robin: and being the only level-headed one

Robin: but mainly because I want to cuddle my girlfriend every night

Steve: Yeah, sure.

Eddie: fuck yeah

Eddie: two pairs of best friend chaos

Eddie: surely this will go well

Robin added a person to the group

Chrissy: Hey guys!!

Eddie: Chrissy, my love my light my world

Eddie: you’re going to regret everything

Steve emphasized a message: "Chrissy, my love my light my world"

Steve: I thought I was that?

Eddie: you’re my moon, stars, and galaxy

Eddie: you’re the universe

Steve: Hehe, really?

Robin: hey chris, this is how they are please get used to it because they’ve been driving me insane for months now

Chrissy: I think it’s cute! 💕

Chrissy: I should add them in the Sims!!

Steve: What’s that?

Robin: oh no

Eddie: Chrissy, don’t do it don’t tell him

Chrissy: Oh, it’s this game where you can make characters and build them a house and basically guide their lives. It’s really cool, Steve!

Chrissy: You should play it!

Steve: Is it fun?

Chrissy: Oh my god, yeah! You can make anybody and literally do anything. 

Chrissy: Like think of all the people you hate.

Chrissy: You can make them and kill them and make them suffer and it doesn’t actually harm anybody in real life, it’s great! 💕

Robin: Chrissy

Chrissy: Yes, love?

Robin: he just disappeared into the home office.

Eddie: somebody needs to take his card away from him like right now

Robin: too late. I just heard the music start up.

Eddie: Chrissy, I love you to bits and pieces but I think you’ve successfully indoctrinated a new monster

Steve: I can fine tune the genders of these guys.

Steve: I’m making a dog and his name is going to be Peanut.

Steve: This game is wonderful.

Delivered 30m ago

Steve: Eddie’s pregnant and the kitchen is on fire.

Eddie: wut how it’s been half an hour

Eddie: why am I pregnant

Eddie: steve, what did you do

Steve: 😏

Steve: You know what I did.

Eddie: Steve. I’m coming home early from my trip at Wayne’s. but I need you to answer when I call you. I can’t be horny in here.

Robin: You guys are disgusting. Chrissy, what have you done?

Chrissy: Robin, we’re getting married in the Sims.

Robin: I luv you 💕

Chrissy: Now we’re having sex animal style.

Eddie: I hate that I taught you that.

Steve: We had a son.

Seen just now

Eddie liked a message: "We had a son."

Eddie: name him corn. it would be funny

Seen 5m ago

Eddie: no love for corn boy ?

Steve: Sometimes I wish you would shut up.

Eddie: make me

Steve: I’m gonna be fucking Eddie when he comes home in like thirty minutes. Don’t come back until I text you.

Robin: I’m staying at Chrissy’s tonight to help her pack. don’t do butt stuff on the couch.

Eddie: I make no promises

Steve liked a message: "I make no promises"

Seen 5m ago

——— Robin: Steve, what’s with the orange envelope on my desk? it’s too ominous for my liking.

Steve: You should open it! :D

Steve: It’s a gift for you and Chris for your guys’ one year!

Robin: CHAPPELL ROAN

Steve: :)

Steve: In New York, too! I found the good flights from Chicago to there and back. I booked you guys a hotel and there’s a whole printed out page of all the good restaurants in the area! And I also have some cash that you guys can use for food and souvenirs and stuff!

Robin: …Steve you beautiful beautiful man thank you

Robin: I’m making your favorite dinner tonight

Steve: Eddie’s reading a book right next to me, though?

Robin: why are you gay

Robin: no bitch. I was talking about a reuben sandwich

Robin: but I guess if you wanna suck cock, then whatever

Steve: Eh. I’ll save it for dessert.

Steve: Also, you don’t have to act surprised about those tickets. I know you looked through my emails.

Steve: You’re literally this motherfucker.

Steve has sent an image

Robin: That’s literally just Snoopy.

Steve: You got this.

Robin: …oh

Robin: maybe don’t subscribe to People magazine and then leave fifteen tabs about harambe open on my laptop

Steve: Blame Eddie.

Robin: Blame Eddie, you’re so right.

——— Eddie: Chrissy, am I being shunned?

Chrissy: Harambe.

Eddie: what?

Steve: The gorilla.

Eddie: not this again

Robin: you have been banished to the shadows for aiding me in my quest to find the Chappell Roan tickets

Eddie: YOURE THE ONE WHO SNOOPED I TOLD YOU NOT TO

Chrissy: Babe…you told me you didn’t.

Sent 10m ago

Robin: I’ve been shunned :(

Eddie: welcum to the club, loser

Robin: I hate you

Eddie: :)

Steve: Eddie’s pregnant again.

Seen just now

Eddie liked a message: "Eddie's pregnant again."

Eddie: plz name it corn this time plzzz

Steve disliked a message: "plz name it corn this time plzzz"

Eddie: I shall avenge you corn boy, for you will not be shunned like your father

Steve: If I stop shunning you and suck your dick, will you be normal?

Eddie: maybe

Steve: Robin, Chrissy. I need you to go to the grocery store for a little bit. I have something to do before I need to go to work and you guys can’t be here.

Robin: you guys are like rabbits when is it hunting season

Steve: Love you too

Robin: Love you more, dingus. Just please stop fucking all the time.

Eddie: how else am I going to be pregnant?

Robin has left the group chat

📱—————📱 I plan on making a part two for this one! Here it is as-is, for now, though.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

I woke up to the news of Ms. Patti LuPone getting a Critics’ Choice nomination, so, you know. VINDICATION!!!!

lilia is back in the tunnel with jen, looking like the definition of a sad wet cat

it's actually cute that she can be so gullible at times. incredible seer powers, but not so good with irony

hadn't noticed jen tearing off half her dress and creating a perfect miniskirt

Because I wanted it to. I ignored it. I put it away. Lilia admits that losing her powers wasn't something that happened to her, but an active choice she made.

I always appreciate the visual gag of a tall actor and a short actor behind a wall

my new favorite disaster duo!

following the actual timeline, this is the first time they see the trial, but lilia has been here already, in the future.

billy's so happy he hasn't killed them lmaooo

the SWAG this woman has

WHO MASSACRED THIS SPREAD i can't

LITERAL CHILDREN. mom's back home and wants to know who started the fight

gay jokes. gay jokes as far as the eye can see. and billy going me me me let's make this about me

oh this is such nice framing

she's so commanding. i love it when lilia is in control

everyone's comedic timing is on point in this scene. and jen holding an apple!

when I say billy is making it all about himself, I mean that he - intentionally or not - created the Road as a way to understand his own identity, to figure out how his human life with the kaplans and his witchy heritage can fit together. and he's making it everybody else's problem.

yesss supportive jen

I'm gonna write down this whole speech because I want to learn it, and I also want to listen to patti deliver it again and again.

"The first card is you, the Traveler. next comes What's Missing, the reason for your quest. here is the Path Behind, wounds suffered, lessons learned. here is the Path Ahead, a place for growth and discovery. of course you will face Obstacles, preceding a potential Windfall. you must overcome all to reach you Destination."

so 1) the subject, 2) their goal, 3) the past, 4) the future, 5) shit they're gonna go through, 6) shit that's gonna help, 7) destination.

Gotcha.

clowns

you are the Magician. you have enormous potential and the ability to turn all your goals into reality. very fitting. I love that billy's card is not about danger, but about potential.

detective agnes still trying to figure out billy. you know her mind is doing the math lady meme

and here agatha jumps ahead to save lilia from the falling sword. you know what she's doing? she's doing what alice would have done. in moments of danger we've seen alice barreling to the rescue with agatha one step behind, almost following but ultimately suppressing the instinct to help. I don't know if agatha absorbed something of alice's essence by killing her, or if her example was simply contagious. but agatha has taken up her mantle, and, without realizing it, she's protecting the coven in her stead

lilia jumps to episode two, episode four and episode three in rapid succession, and lands herself back with maestra.

lilia says she didn't want to come, maestra once again calls out her bullshit. nobody put her on this journey, nobody stole her powers. she did it all herself.

I'm a forgotten woman. Then REMEMBER YOURSELF! is one of the best lines in these shows, I'm putting it up there with what is grief but love persevering. it's so empowering. because look, we can ask for help, we can find community. we need to, actually. but nobody can save you, if you don't save yourself first.

lilia's past, her family, her coven, an entire generation wiped out, with her as the sole survivor. she saw it coming from miles away and couldn't do anything to prevent it.

in her anguish, lilia has just revealed her old maestra exactly how she's going to die. and this impossibly wise woman just shrugs it off.

it's all we have in common.

we cannot escape our suffering. we can only share the burden.

go to episode 7 part 5

[thrashkink-coven]

Okay here’s the hard part.

I think a lot about that guy, so called Jesus, and his philosophy of radical forgiveness and empathy. For a long time I thought that was just a line abusers use to force their victims to forgive them (AND IT IS)

But! I also think about Lucifer and the things he taught me regarding the concept of hell. If I was the ruler of hell and I had to manage all these terrible people, what would I do? Torture them? Give them endless suffering so they feel guilty? Do to them what they did to others so they can understand how bad it feels?

Latinos who voted for Trump, oh you disappoint me, but no, I don’t want you to be deported. Women who voted for Trump, *sigh*, no, I don’t want to see you get an ectopic pregnancy or carry your dead baby. No I do not want all those conservative gays to lose their right to marriage. And no, I don’t even want all of those fucked up fascist nazi racists to die.

It would be SO satisfying to see them get what they deserve, right?

God, I’m so sick of being apart of a species that loves to conquer. We bleed, they win, they bleed, we win. I’m sick of patching wounds. All I see is hellfire.

My friend Taylor Mcnallie is facing fraudulent charges because of an altercation that happened while she was protesting in Calgary. The bitch of a cop who assaulted her not only received no punishment, she got a fucking promotion. I remember during one of Taylor’s speeches someone said something like “I hope she gets arrested and goes to jail,” and Taylor said, “I don’t hope she goes to jail. Jail shouldn’t exist. I just want her to get fired and apologize. That’s all I want.”

Pacifism, true pacifism, like the kind that guy preached about, doesn’t mean laying down and accepting every terrible thing assholes do to you with a smile. It means taking away their ability to harm without harming them yourself. Eliminating the evil without becoming evil. Punching nazis does not make you a nazi, but praying for the death and destruction of people, human beings, because you hate them as much as they hate you? *sigh*

The hardest part about this whole radical empathy thing, is the fact that I cannot even wish harm upon those who want me dead. Isn’t that funny? That literal neo nazi, yeah, I hope he has shelter. Fuck I hope that rapist still eats tonight. I hope he feels shame until the day he dies, but I don’t hope he gets raped in prison. I don’t even want him in prison to be honest, I want him to be cared for, and I want his ability to do harm stripped away.

“Even if he hurts a child?”

God damn it, yes. I can’t add more suffering into the world, even if it is inflicted upon the people I’d love to hate most. I want to take away his power to do evil, I want everyone to know what kind of person he is and the terrible things he does so they can keep themselves safe… and then I want him to be safe.

I want all those terfs to have clean drinking water. I know they hate my guts, ugh, it is what it is. But praying that they experience the pain they’ve caused me, hoping that they die or suffer only makes me more like them.

WHICH SUCKS. This way of thinking is NOT satisfying AT ALL!!! Being vindictive and petty is FUN and it FEELS GOOD!!! That’s why it’s so fucking easy, and that’s why we keep eating each other over and over again.

Having said all of this, we should definitely bring back the guillotine lmao. I’m not saying that we should be super nice to people who are trying to kill us, do fight back. If the people need to kill their oppressors to be free then, hey, I’m not going to tell them they’re wrong for that. This isn’t a “we should all hug and sing kumbaya together! Kindness is always the way!!!” take. If the only way to bring death to the empire is to bring death to its owners, then so be it. Do so in the way that produces the least amount of degradation to your soul.

But wishing natural disasters on Texas, hoping that that racist woman’s parents get deported, out of spite and hatred… what are they doing to you? What are you doing to yourself?

Humanity is disgusting, truly truly abhorrent. I want to be able to look at us and embrace us with acceptance of that. Every single fucking terrible person on this earth deserves liberty, life, and freedom. Even when you spit in my face and hurt the people I love, damn it, I won’t hurt you. I see you as a rabid animal that needs to be sedated and slowly acclimated to compassion. And I will keep trying, even if you never learn. I can’t give up on humanity.

This is the most important and the hardest part. I’m not telling you to forgive, forgiveness is for you. If it doesn’t serve you, don’t forgive. But don’t let people without humanity kill the humanity that exists within you. Don’t let hatred fester in your soul. You’re allowed to be mad, hell, you should be furious. Let that fury keep you warm, but do not become a monster too.

To all you stupid fucking fascist pieces of shit, I hope you get exactly what you deserve. And what you deserve is not death, pain or suffering. It’s self reflection and growth, guilt and humility. As much as I would enjoy seeing you hurt, I refuse to become like you. And damn it I love you, I love every human being on this planet. I love you so much that I cannot become you. I love you so fucking much that I will continue to fight for your rights even when you’re trying to take mine away. and I hate that I love you like this, but I can’t stop.

So I will stop you.

- James Baldwin

[your-worst-boy]

you give these fucking "centrists/independents" every chance to say hey, yeah, fuck nazis. fuck fascism. fuck bigotry. the literal most simple fucking thing in the world. like comparable to saying "hmm, bad people are bad, I believe :-(" and they say nothing with their complacent ass.

YOU ARE FUNCTIONALLY A REPUBLICAN. at least own it. you are genuinely fucking spineless with ur routine of speaking when it's liberal shit u hate, and staying silent when it's conservative shit you won't admit you agree with.

won't even acknowledge the EXTREMELY TARGETED, VERY BLATANT policies against trans/gay ppl, women, poc...anyone who doesn't fit the 1950s nuclear family picture-perfect standard. And at this point I don't have to delve into what that looks like bc we all fucking know.

I'm embarrassed by your deep, DEEP fucking cowardice & ineptitude. your complacency in literally every aspect of your life will be your undoing.

"But since [...] no one pays attention when I outstretch my hand, since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you [...]"

"They will call to me but I will not answer; they will look to me but not find me, since they hated knowledge [...]"

"They will eat the fruit of their ways [...]"

"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them; and the complacency of fools will destroy them"

-Proverbs 1:28-32

I'm not even religious & that's embarrassing! ur own god says ur a pussy! amazing

[replaycamera2]

What Your Fave Redacted Character Says About You

Davey - You value a lot of things in a man: the most important being his ability to snap you in half.

Asher - You are the annoying younger sibling who is completely aware of exactly how much they can get away with via years of experience.

Milo - When people ask you what your hobbies are you say “reading” but the silent part of that answer is “fanfiction”

Vincent - I could go on for hours about all the parasocial relationships you’ve had in your life.

Sam - You’re rapidly running out of things other than yourself to blame for your problems, and honestly, it’s just a cry for help at this point.

Lasko - The people in your life have learned not to use the turn of phrase, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Because you will immediately launch into a 20 minute PowerPoint presentation with cited sources on exactly everything that could possibly go wrong.

Damien - Your parents were PTA terrorists. They were planning your bid for student council president while you were still in the womb.

Hux - For the people who think other people are always flirting with them or buttering them up, but they’re honestly just being nice and you never really learned how appropriately reciprocate that because life has taught you that everyone is always after something.

Gavin - God gave you depression and anxiety because if he didn’t, you’d be competing for his job

Avior - You’re either a burned out “gifted kid” or you only just got diagnosed with ADHD in your mid 20s. No in between.

Vega - Dear god do you love to be stepped on

Blake - You can not fix him. YOU CAN NOT FIX HIM.

Elliott - The ultimate fantasy of every demi-sexual out there.

Aaron - Depends: if you’re a straight woman, this is just everyone’s daddy fantasy. Otherwise, you’re a white gay guy. Only they would see a 1-to-1 recreation of their bully and go, “That is my husband.”

Ivan - I’m not saying you’re scary when you’re mad, I’m just saying the Venn diagram of people who have crossed you and the people you never hear from again is a circle

James - Admit it, you find degradation just a little bit hot. Just give in and go for it, it’ll be cathartic, trust me.

Anton - Literally that meme of “Thank you for changing my life.” “I’m literally a white man from Arizona mumbling and mouth-breathing into a mic.”

Geordi - “Patience of a saint” and “persistence of a rock” do not even begin to describe you. We have had nothing but radio silence from this man for 7 months.

Regulus - You just want someone to end your existence without actually killing you and honestly, valid take.

Guy - Your insecurities might scream at every person you meet, but not if you scream louder

Ollie - Your life moves from one disaster to the next and you are desperate for a shred of stability, which is probably why you’re listening to boyfriend role-play.

Morgan - There are two kinds of people in this fandom: Those who know what “19 months” means, and those who don’t.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi! Curious as to your headcanons on how Harry would realize he’s gay/come out? I like to imagine him not realizing it until he’s blundered his way into a relationship with a man, but surely he would be to clever for that 😆

Lol, I mean, yeah, Harry is clever, but not when it comes to relationships as he so adequately demonstrates throughout the books. That being said, I think it has more to do with his hectic situation rather than his intelligence. He just has other priorities — like, not dying. I saw someone suggest that by book 7, Harry is somewhat aware of his orientation with his: "not my type, but he'll do" comment to a transfigured Ron asking how he looks.

Like, I think Harry was aware he finds men attractive since 4th year, but he didn't really know what it means because he had other priorities. Like, he'd think he just finds guys attractive but it's normal, he has eyes, after all. But in general, I think the moment Harry is not in immediate life-threatening danger, he would figure it out. Just give him a moment to relax. It might take another failed relationship like Cho, but I really believe that he would get there on his own.

It probably wasn't anything big or grand either, just, kinda like a gradual understanding of: "huh, I guess I don't like girls" that eventually leads to "huh, I always thought guys are hot". (If we ignore the epilogue we can say he had this moment of epiphany while camping in the woods, I mean, there was a lot of silent time for introspection there, or maybe through a talk with Hermione/Ron)

If we go with canon-divergence for fic purposes when he's younger and is still wrapped up in, like, 3 plots to kill him a year, he might just blunder into a relationship with a guy and only realize it's a relationship later. But, Harry is smart enough to know that if he's holding hands and cuddling with someone that isn't a usual friendship for him. Especially if this is after his disaster date with Cho where he dreaded her wanting to hold his hand or kiss him again. Harry would notice if he was interested in that compared to with Cho, that he actually wants to spend time with this guy and likes looking at him and being close to him, but it might take him a while still. It's also very possible [male Harry ship of your choice] would be the one to basically tell Harry what they have is a relationship, but it really depends on the specific canon divergence. In general, it's less likely Harry would start this relationship as he is in a quest to be normal (which is part of why he decided he has a crush on Cho), she's a safe option — pretty, good at Quidditch, and appearing unattainable when he chose her. Point is, I don't see the Hogwarts-aged Harry pursuing a relationship with a guy without certain changes to get him there (the guy of your choice might though).

Alternative to this situation, it could be Ron or Hermione who bring it up to Harry, with Ron being the more likely of the two to bring it up. I think Ron has known since 5th year that Harry is gay, Hermione doesn't seem to really know, but by 7th year she probably figured it out (I mean, even in the muggle world this is the UK in 90s, it's not like being gay was overly accepted). So, they could also bring it up to him.

As for coming out, I feel like he would accidentally joke about it a bunch, like in that book 7 comment and most people would think it's just a joke, but I think Ron and Hermione would clue in early he actually means it. Ron at least would have already known and both I believe would be supportive of Harry. I think a bunch of others would be told as well, I think most Weasley kids won't have a problem with it at all (Ginny is likely to be disappointed, but I don't think she'd be mean about it to Harry). I think Molly and Arthur might struggle a little, due to ignorance rather than malice, but they would definitely be kind and try to be supportive. Arthur would probably mention some Weasley cousin who's gay as a way to connect to Harry because I'm sure there is one. Sirius would support everything Harry does and chooses (and he himself is likely, not straight) so, yeah.

Beyond that, coming out more publicly would heavily depend on the Wizarding World's approach to homosexuality. I personally believe they don't treat it great and it's kind of an unspoken thing — considering we don't see any gay relationships in the books, their focus on legacy and producing children, and the characters that are mentioned to be unmarried seem to live like confirmed bachelors (Dumbledore, Aunt Muriel, Alphard and Cassiopeia Black, etc.). Also, considering Harry's dislike of the Prophet and the attention he receives, I don't see him choosing to ever make it public knowledge since it's none of their business.

I imagine Witch Weekly keeps placing Harry in number 1 their Most Eligible Bachelors list years after he has already moved to live with a "close male friend" of his (choose who to your preference). And like, everyone knows, but no one would really acknowledge it. Whenever Harry is asked about "when he's gonna settle down" by some interviewer or random ministry personnel or some foreign ambassador he needs to be held back from throwing hands when younger. Later in life he probably gets used to it, besides, the older he gets, eventually the questions would stop, I imagine. It's also possible eventually attitudes in the Wizarding World would change, but that's something that takes time and depends on a lot of other factors.

[mamirhodessxox]

More Resident Evil Incorrect Quotes for my Bby’s <3

Leon: All snacks are gone.

Y/N: I AM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE?!

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Leon: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Jill, watching Chris and Carlos fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

Leon, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

Jill: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?

Chris: Leon.

Carlos: Leon.

Leon: Me.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Y/N: Yesterday, I overheard Wesker saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Ada replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Wesker: You’re kind of a pushover, aren’t you, Leon?

Leon: …I’m sorry.

Wesker: See!? That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Carlos, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Carlos, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Carlos: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Luise: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Y/N: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?

Leon: Please don’t get arrested.

Y/N: No promises! <3

Jill: Why not both? Get creative!

Y/N: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.

Leon: Please don’t encourage them, Jill.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Leon: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Leon: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Leon: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Chris, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?

Y/N: The car takes a screenshot.

Wesker: Please pull over. I’m driving now.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Wesker: Y/N, we tried things your way.

Y/N: No, we didn't.

Wesker: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

Ada: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Y/N: I really care about your feelings!

Leon: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Ada, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Jill: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Carlos: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷✨🌷

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @valkyrurx

[bookwyrm-art-stuff]

I forgot about this for like two months but uh

Thing I said while reading The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

(some spoilers- nothing detailed but some pretty big things)

Have to be nice to Luo Binghe but can’t be OOC? Just be a tsundere!

Wow, I think this guy might actually like women. Bisexual disaster, this one

Binghe is adorable and precious and I love him but I know what he does LATER and my brain keeps REMINDING ME. FUCK!

I wonder when he’s gonna realize this is a danmei

Trying not to sob he trusted him! He trusted him up to the last moment! He trusted him with a sword in his chest! He trusted him and he still- still, he- gods damn you mxtx and all your amazing characters

Oh my gods the author’s here too? This is even better, what happens when HE realizes his book is now a danmei?

I swear to every single god if you don’t stop willfully letting him misunderstand you this fucking second I will strangle you

Let’s use our thinking brains here, now what does Gongyi Xiao see?

Now he has you terrified your clothes are gonna be ripped off at any moment? That’s fuckin’ hilarious, continue

WHY does she INSIST upon killing her fucking MAIN CHARACTERS- EVERY TIME???? FUCK ME!!!!

Devastated screaming into a pillow

(I put down the book for a solid five+ minutes here just to process)

I fucking hate this guy

(Pained, at the author) I hate you.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HIS DICK. I CAN HANDLE THE DEATH, I CAN HANDLE THE TORTURE, BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO TALK ABOUT HIS DICK. I KNOW IT’S BIG. PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP

cackling <- regret of chunshan

Oh I forgot. I forgot about the necrophilia. Kill me.

One, why. Just- just why. Two, why heavenly pillar. Three, what is it with you and coffins???

Binghe (recently compared to a housewife): Liu-shishu hasn’t returned. Liu Qingge, kicking down the fucking door: INCORRECT-

PROGRESS!

I don’t think you can’t fly on a sword I think you’re just gay. *gasp* gay people can’t DRIVE it makes perfect sense!

Ah, thank you, the purpose for which you’ve been embellishing his dick all books

“Mine.” That’s adorable!

gasp he’s a cat!

Depraved, thank you, that word I’ve been using to describe these books on and off all series

He thinks. It’s. Mpreg.

[im-normal-about-everything]

Hello it’s me @dennylachancerights coming at you live from my main, I will in fact be sporadically yapping to you about little Outsiders things feel free to tell me to zip it at any point!

Anyways I’d love to hear your input on your headcanons for all their sexualities now I’m so curious

Hii!!! If I ever tell someone to stop yapping about the outsiders, y'all have to kill me because I will have been replaced by a clone. Anyways, so this turned into a giant ass rant,.sorry about that lmaoo

My sexuality head canons are always all over the place, but here's my main ones and a little bit of backstory for them.

Ponyboy-usually I like to say bisexual, but I'm also a fan of him just being gay. In my mind, he didn't really have a crush on Cherry, he just thought she was interesting. Also, the fact that a fourteen, he 'wasnt into Girls'. Like yes, I know that fourteen is young, but every teenager I've ever done has at least liked someone at that age.

Sodapop- panexual + polyamorous. I am a stevepop and Steviepop truther so Soda's always going to be pan in my mind. He's just entirely full of love, for everyone.

Darry-gay. I don't like parry that much (don't kill me) but I still think it's a very interesting dynamic. (I also just have a deep rooted hatred for Paul but that's a story for another time)

Steve- bisexual+ poly. Once again, stevepop and Steviepop are some of my favorite things sooooo. Also in the movie, Steve was just CONSTANTLY checking soda out, can't even deny it atp

Johnny- gay. I don't really have an explanation for this one. He just is. 🧍‍♀️

Dallas-bisexual. He literally does not care, he will flirt with everyone. (Also he's from NY. How much more could you need?)

Two-bit-either the token straight of the group, or a disaster bisexual. I'm leaning more toward bisexual, because like Dallas, he doesn't care and is just a massive flirt.

Curly-gay. Dated girls but never really liked them, mostly just Angela's friends or girls who asked him out first. Since I'm a PaperCut stan, I absolutely believe that he realized that the reason he hadn't wanted anything serious with girls was because he didn't like girls, he liked pony. (Not boys, just Ponyboy.) I also hc that he had a crush on Dallas when he was younger.

Tim- bisexual. I'm low-key a fan of tally and tarry, so those are the main reason for bisexual.

Angela-straight. I'm sorry, I don't know enough about her but in my mind, she's a girl who talks with Pony about boy problems

Thanks for the ask!!

[science-lings]

Being annoying about each option under the cut

1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.

2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.

3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.

4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)

5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.

6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)

7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.

8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.

9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.

10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday, Shana! 🎉🎉🌻🌻

Untamed or Naruto?

When Naruto is born, the nine tailed fox is pulled from Kushina along with her and it's only because of Minato's quick application of a seal that keeps disaster from becoming even worse.

Dozens of buildings and hundreds of lives are lost in the devestation. Still, it could have been a far worse attack, if Naruto had not been a suitable host for the demon.

It's a risk, one that Kushina screams at him for taking. The seal might not hold. Babies are not meant to be containers. It could kill their daughter, and sure, the nine tail might die along with her, but at what cost?

The seal holds. Naruto's strength holds.

The ordeal nearly kills Kushina and weakens her enough that she'll never again be an active duty ninja.

Minato sleeps at his office after that. Kushina doesn't even let him hold her until she's six months old and it's not until Naruto is almost two that she lets him move back into their home.

Still. Things aren't quite the same between them after that, when Kushina saw how he quick he was to sacrifice his daughter for the village.

Practically, she understands.

But no one has ever accused Kushina of being practical.

~

A container forced to spend their whole life fighting the fox will be weak. There's nothing for it - all their energy and chakra and time is spent subduing the fox, consciously or subconsciously.

Her daughter has been sabotaged from her first breath, made a target and given no way to defend herself.

"You want me to marry your daughter?" Kakashi squeaks, wondering if this is some new cruel prank she's playing on him. "She's a baby!"

But Kushina is serious. She's serious a lot these days, but at his question she almost smiles. "Not now. In about twenty years."

"Why," he starts, and then doesn't know how to continue.

"You're selfish," she says and his shoulders hunch. "Naruto won't be able to protect herself when people discover what she is and start coming after her. Minato has seen to that. My identity as the container was a well kept secret. Thanks to the attack, half of Konoha knows what Naruto is, and the other nations will hear of it, and they will come for her."

"I can protect her without marrying her," he insists, looking down at the baby in Kushina's arms. The idea that anyone, never mind him, will marry her someday is ridiculous.

"You're selfish," she repeats. "You'll choose her if she belongs to you."

Kakashi doesn't know what to say to that. He knows why Minato hasn't come home.

He goes to him, and his teacher just shrugs and says, "Don't you want to be my son-in-law, Kakashi?" Then, "Don't worry about it for the next twenty years. A lot can happen between now and then."

Gai hears he's been betrothed - uhg - to the hokage's daughter and congratulates him on an excellent political match and then takes pity on him and takes him to a bar.

It's his first time drinking and he probably shouldn't have let Gai goad him into a drinking contest.

~

Naruto is wary of people.

Some people love her, coo over her being the hokage's daughter and a brave little girl, patting her head and shoving sweets into her hands.

Some people glare at her, hiss about her being a demon who's killed the hokage's real daughter, and slam doors in her face and throw rocks at her back.

"Is it weird having a husband?" Ino asks while they make flower crowns from the days discarded flowers. It's the end to their first week at the academy and her parents are fighting - again - so Naruto had gone home with Ino instead. The Yamanakas are always nice to her.

Her mother doesn't want her to attend the academy, says its a waste of time and dangerous anyway. Her father says that the child of the hokage can't not attend the academy.

Neither of them had asked her what she wanted.

She pauses, thinking. Kakashi greets her and bows to her but he's ANBU, something she's not supposed to know but seems very obvious, so she doesn't really see him outside of when he comes by to talk to her parents sometimes. "No? He's not my husband yet anyway."

She's overheard him a couple times asking her father to find her a different husband, saying that he'll be bodyguard forever if only he doesn't have to marry her.

It hurts that Kakashi thinks she's a demon too. She'd always thought he was really cool and had thought it was nice that she'd have a nice, cool husband when she was older.

But she doesn't think she wants to marry someone who hates her.

~

The Uchihas aren't always nice to her, but Mikoto always is, coming over to her house to talk to her mother and dragging her sons with her, or keeping her door open to Naruto whenever she comes knocking.

Itachi stops coming early on, promoted quickly and no time to tag along to his mother's house visits. Sasuke is there and he scows and pouts but can be efficiently bullied into helping her get into whatever trouble she's decided is most worth her attention that day, so he's pretty all right, for a boy.

Naruto has to pay a lot of really close attention to people, because she never knows if they're going to be nice and mean, and the Uchihas aren't like the Yamanakas. Their reactions differ, so she has to pay attention.

Something is wrong.

Her mother doesn't believe her.

Her father doesn't listen.

She goes to Kakashi out of desperation. She tries to avoid him as much as she can, but he's the one person who might be able to convince her father that something is wrong.

"Ah, Naruto-hime, what can I do for you?" he asks, tone respectful. When she was younger, she liked that nickname. Now she knows that he's mocking her.

"Something is wrong with the Uchiha and you need to get my father to do something about it," she says.

His face is hidden by his stupid mask but she can tell he's frowning. "Why would you-"

She cuts him off, wanting this conversation to be as short as possible. He doesn't believe her either - shocker - but he agrees to look into because it's the quickest way to end the conversation.

Danzo is quietly, secretly, executed for treason. Madara Uchiha is listed as an active S class missing Konoha nin.

There are lots of talks about what, exactly, to do about the Uchihas, on how to handle their almost betrayal. Considering the outside manipulation, her father is inclined to ignore it, but something has to be done. Symbolically, if nothing else.

"If they feel excluded, then do something to make them feel included," Naruto says, nine years old and exhausted from the years of tension between the Uchihas and - well, everyone. Sasuke is so worried about his reputation that it takes ages to get him to do anything fun. It's almost quicker to get Shikamaru involved, which is saying something. "Do something no one else can question."

"Itachi or Sasuke?" her father asks, head bent over his paperwork.

She doesn't know what he's talking about. "For what?"

"Which do you prefer?" he asks.

"Sasuke?" she says, because Itachi is always very nice to her, especially after she helped prevent him from becoming a mass murderer, but he's never once helped her prank Iruka-sensei.

He nods and says nothing more and she rolls her eyes and goes to find something to do. Kiba has started training with Akamaru and she bets she can totally derail that without getting yelled at by Tsume.

A week later Sasuke climbs into her window and hisses furiously, "We're getting married?"

Huh.

Well, it looks like Kakashi got what he wanted.

She decided a long time ago she didn't want to marry him, and Sasuke is her friend, so this is fine. It's better.

Sasuke pats her shoulder and doesn't even yell at her when she ruins his shirt with tears.

He's already a better husband than Kakashi could ever be.

~

Minato is dreading today. Enrolling Naruto into the Academy had seemed like the right thing to do seven years ago, because what would people say about a hokage who didn't, but now that it's Graduation Day and he's going to have to deal with the gossip around the Hokage's daughter failing to even become a genin.

Iruka comes to drop off the team assignments and he does a double take when looking through them. "She passed?"

The chunin blinks and then asks, "Who, Hokage-sama? Haruno Sakura? It's rare for a civilian child, but her academic scores are quite high, even if her physical is lacking. She has a lot of potential."

He waves a dismissive hand. "No. My daughter."

The silence turns frigid and when he looks up it's too Iruka outright glaring at him. He's so taken aback that he can't even reprimand him for it. Iruka swallows, visibly forcing his face into less mutinous expression, and says, "Naruto is Top Kunoichi. That's why she's on the same team as Sasuke, who's Rookie of the Year, even though I was hesitant on putting them together when they already work so well together. They could use variety. Sakura is Dead Last, but only because of her physical skills. With the right teacher, she'll shape up quickly."

"Top Kunoichi," he repeats dubiously. "I've seen her test scores."

"Not since I took over her class, apparently," he says, and that tone should get him in trouble, but Minato doesn't care about that now. "Her previous instructor was ... biased. Under fair instruction, she excels."

She can't excel. She's handicapped, and it's his fault, not hers, but that doesn't change what she's capable of. "That's not possible."

Iruka's eyes narrow. "She's passed my tests. Now it's up to her jounin sensei."

Assigning someone with no biases is impossible, but he can at least assign someone who's never matched the shinobi art of lying about things they don't care about.

~

Naruto hopes this is a nightmare. Sasuke is pinching the bridge of his nose and not looking at any of them.

"Um," Sakura says hesitantly, "nice to meet you, Tsume-sensei."

She scowls at all of them. "I hope you fail. I have a clan to run! I don't have time to deal with untrained, undisciplined puppies!"

They probably shouldn't have broken into the Inuzuka compound so many times. Tsume has plenty of reasons to make their lives miserable. Or, well, hers and Sasuke's. Sakura's never done anything to her.

At least it's not Kakashi.

[sleepybabybees]

Incorrect quotes because I'm bored-

Price: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Gaz: I really care about your feelings!

Soap: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Price, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Roach: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Ghost: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

-‐---------------------

Price: You know what?

Price: When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Soap, Gaz and Roach continue screaming about mold water*

Price: Not the other way around.

Ghost: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

------------------

Soap: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Ghost: It was Gaz.

Price: It was Gaz.

Roach: Gaz broke it.

Gaz:

Gaz: ...yOU PROMISED-

-------------------

Roach, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

Ghost: A family.

Price: A better love life.

Gaz: Mental stability.

Soap: *clueless* Bagels?

--------------------

Soap: What's the worst thing you guys have done?

Roach: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.

Ghost: I kicked Price in the shin-

Price: -So I kicked Ghost between the legs.

Gaz: I burned a town down.

Soap: What?!

Price: What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Gaz: A lot of things.

Ghost: No shit.

-----------------------

Gaz: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Soap: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Price: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a colour until 1000 years ago.

Ghost: What was the colour called before then?

Roach: There was no colour, duh! Everything was black and white!

---‐-----------------------

Soap: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Ghost: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

---------------------

Ghost: Boo! Boo, I say!

Soap: Ghost?

Ghost: Oh, I am not Ghost. I am the scariest thing known to mankind. A failed math test!

Soap: Yeah, right… I’m gonna move on now…

Ghost: You can run, but it won’t be to the college of your choice!

-----------------------

Nik: *angrily presses Price against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Price: ...

Price: Are we about to kiss-

-----------------------

Nik: You need to be more careful!

Price, who was dragged into Nik's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

-----------------------

Nik, sweating: Price, there’s something I need to ask you-

Price: Finally! You’re proposing!

Nik: How’d you know?

Price: Nik, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Price: I even picked it up once.

----‐-----------------

Laswell: Two bros!

Laswell: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Laswell: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

------------------

Laswell: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

-------------------

Price: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?

Laswell: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.

Price: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?

Laswell: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

[boredclarinet]

OKAY GAYMERS ITS THE CONAN GRAY x TMA LIST

STARTING WITH KID KROW (im only doing albums cause im fucking lazy and its easier)

COMFORT CROWD - NAOMI HERNE CAUSE SHE NEEDS MORE LOVE

The Cut That Always Bleeds - S4 Jmart from martin pov. I dont know okay i dont knownit just makes sense leave me alone

Fight or Flight - S1/2 martin. but like, i dont. fucking know? it just. the chorus. okay. piss off.

Affluenza - Mary Keay. literally a middle class woman in a rich white man dominated field (i don’t actually know what her income was). she did horrible things but i respect the grind. (still fucking hate her)

(Can We Be Friends?) - Tim and Sasha. Im fucking crying go away.

Heather - Martin misinterpreted all of jons interactions with the lesbians. theres a vision here

Little League - comparing S3/S4 to preS1/S1.

The Story - time sasha first bit, then jon and martin (shut up i know it worked out but piss off), then wtgirlfriends and jmart. iF you get my vision I love you.

SUPERACHE

People Watching - Martin. no, not jon. its martin.

Disaster - jmart or timsasha. idk. depends, you know what i mean.

Bestfriend - Tim and Sasha (im going to fucking die im tormenting myself arent i?)

Astronomy - tim and sasha. FUCK. FUCK IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY.

Yours - fuck you. LonelyEyes.

Jigsaw - my friend @wormpiratesblog said the bridge was martin, and i agree, but i believe the entire thing could be martin at his mother.

Family Line - the song to start it all. Lukas family. or martin or gerry. but i like the lukases more.

Summer Child - Martin. no notes

Footnote - Tim about Not!Sasha.

Memories - S4 jmart.

FOUND HEAVEN

Found Heaven - it. i dont. something about the avatars, and misfits, and the gays, and manuela domínguez. i dunno.

Never Ending Song - tim and sasha. fuck. what even is their ship name?

Fainted Love - can I say doorkeys? imma say doorkeys. make your own fucking list if you have a problem with my shit. i just need a break from thinking about tim and sasha

Lonely Dancer - Stranger. thw fucking circus 💥. FUCK ITS JUST TIM AND SASHA FU-

Alley Rose - guys our lord and savior conan gray hates me. its all timsasha and i dont think i can fucking cope.

The Final Fight - its. its tim. guys i need help. why is it all tim. im actually on the verge of tears.

Miss You - sasha. im so. fuck.

Bourgeoisieses - Mary Keay. Do i gotta explain? i think i already did.

Forever With Me - Jmart.

Eye of The Night - literally everyone in London whose had an entity encounter. jon is just around the corner to take their statement.

Killing Me - okay i dont want to say jonelias. but. its sorta jonelias. but if thats not your cup of tea. jmart and the eye/web.

Winner - god so many possibilities. S5 jon at Elias (not shipping), S4 Martin at his mother, Gerry at his mother. Hell maybe even micheal at gertrude. Who fucking knows, ya know?

Anyways. Now Im sad. What have we learned? The Archives wouldve loved Conan Gray. and tim is conan gray coded apparently. fucking hell.

[achaotichuman]

A Proposition

Some people get sentimental about the new year starting, some people have a mental breakdown, some people are recovering from a wicked hangover, and others are mentally preparing to start writing 2025 on dates rather than 2024

I'm writing gay sex and sharing it with the internet. Here you go, internet. Happy New Year to all my fellow whores, I hope your 2025 is not disastrous and full of good things, here's what I hope will be one of said good things.

Summary:

The High Lords meeting is being held in the Night Court, and Lucien is bored out of his brains, but when he realises the Heirs of Night and Spring have slipped off, what would have once been a very boring day suddenly becomes the opportunity for something he'd never even thought of.

Fic below the cut or here on Ao3!

The Night Court wasn’t his favourite territory to visit, but it wasn’t the worst. Lucien had freezed his ass off in Winter, and whilst the Night Court had a bite to it, being in the Hewn City meant that there was temperature regulation in most rooms. 

Eris had scolded the six of them the night before this visit, had lined his younger brothers up like soldiers and given them the talking too of a lifetime.

“Don’t screw around. Don’t run off with any dalliances. Don’t provoke anyone. Don’t get into fights with each other. Toe the line.” 

The Heir had talked himself hoarse, it was a miracle he had a voice to use today. 

Of course, the warnings weren’t really aimed at Lucien, but all the behaviours Eris told them not to partake in were regular patterns amongst the Vanserras. Lucien couldn’t say he wasn’t guilty of jabbing Silas too much, or purposefully pushing Brom to the brink of insanity, at times.

Any other Courtly visit and Lucien may have wandered off on his own, ignoring Eris’ warnings in favour of his own curiosity. However, when they passed through the stone doors of the Hewn City. When they had sealed shut behind them, trapping them all in the dark depths of a mountain renowned for cruelty, Lucien had decided to stick close to his brothers. 

There had been a formal introduction, followed by the usual custom of mingling and small talk, as music played in the throne room, and people with stiff backs danced with their respective partners. Everyone on edge, as if waiting for a bear trap to snap closed. It had successfully killed any fear Lucien had, replacing it with tearful boredom as he resigned to dancing with a Lady named Mirassa, she had smiled and giggled and entertained him for some time. They danced for the majority of the night, until the merriments ended, and the High Lords were called to the meeting. Lucien left, and Mirassa’s disappointment had trailed after him long after he left the dancing. 

The meeting itself was a near disaster, with Beron and the High Lord of Spring, Elvin going at each other like cats and dogs. 

Elvin scared the shit out of Lucien, and not just because of his famously cruel nature. He looked like something fresh out of a nightmare. Handsome, yes. With long dark gold hair that appeared a light chestnut colour in the dark, and like gleaming yellow gold in the sunlight. Gold-speckled dark eyes, tall and well-built. Yes, he was handsome but…

The way he looked at people, like he could skin them with his gaze, dig his hands into exposed flesh, examine the bone. He was like a creature that took Fae form to deceive. Only here because of how intrigued he was by people and their strange forms. 

Beron and Elvin had been at it a long time, before even Eris was born. So, Lucien wasn’t surprised when they made the whole evening about their petty grievances. He sat in the seventh chair, at the back, in the corner, away from everybody. 

But it wasn’t long into the meeting that Lucien noticed two missing presences. 

The daughter of the High Lord of Night sat beside her father and mother, hands folded in her lap, despite how bored she looked. But there was something missing…

Rhysand. 

How had Lucien not noticed? It was like he was a thread pulled away from a piece of cloth, unnoticed, not missed. 

Lucien blinked rapidly, the feeling of their being something off persisting. It was then that he looked towards Elvin. 

His wife, Dahlia sat next to him, raising an eyebrow as she watched her husband bicker with Lucien’s father. She seemed somewhat amused, snagging glances at the Lady of Night, who fought to keep a smile off her lips at every glance from Dahlia. Lucien thought to note that for later. 

But there was something else… Baile, the eldest of Spring, and Aletris, the second-eldest sat beside their mother. Baile looked at though he had more than enough, and Aletris twitched every so often. 

Tamlin. The thought hit Lucien in the chest. Where was Tamlin? 

A knot formed in Lucien’s chest, it was not like the Tamlin to miss a meeting like this, his father would have his head. He was usually extremely punctual, heeding to the tight schedule his father demanded, bending in impossible ways to fit the expectations of others. 

But Rhysand… Rhysand did as he pleased. 

Lucien clenched his fists until the knuckles turned white. 

Tamlin befriended Rhysand almost a year ago now. Found him in the War Camps. Sounded about right, of course the spoiled brat of Night would find amusement in watching those beneath him train. But for whatever reason that Lucien wouldn’t understand, Tamlin had seen something in him and decided to get closer. Now, the two were practically attached at the hip. Every single time he and Tamlin saw each other, it was just, Rhysand this, Rhysand that. ‘Oh, Lucien, look what Rhysand showed me.’ ‘Oh, Lucien, Rhysand taught me how to do this.’ ‘Lucien, Rhysand took me to this place.’ ‘Rhysand, Rhysand, Rhysand, Rhysand’ It never ended. 

He was not jealous. He was not in the slightest. Tamlin had trouble making friends and Lucien was glad he had found someone else to have fun with. After all, because of their fathers, Lucien and Tamlin often didn’t see each other. Though Rhysand's father and Tamlin’s father didn’t like each other in the absolute slightest either, Rhysand was in the War Camps, which meant they were with each other from when the sun rose, to when it set. 

Of course, they would be friends. It didn’t mean Lucien had to like him. Or approve of him. 

Rhysand was bad news. Rhysand was cruel. He was unpredictable. He liked playing with people until he pushed them to the very edge, he drove them insane. He was spoiled, and reckless, and frustrating. 

And worst of all, Rhysand was a snarky, arrogant, handsome, cocky male. He was vile in every sense of the word and he knew it. He was a slow-acting poison, and Lucien was forced to just watch Tamlin drink him down. 

God, where were they? If Tamlin ended up with yet another bruise, broken bone, or scar from his father’s punishments because Rhysand made him late, or worse, convinced him to skip the meeting. Lucien would set him on fire. 

“Will you now?” A voice like cool silk floated down into his head. 

Lucien nearly jolted in his seat, but managed to catch himself. 

“Where is Tamlin?” Lucien addressed the Heir of Night. 

“With me.” Rhysand seemed to laugh, clearly amused at Lucien’s growing anger. 

“Figured. Where are you?” 

“Come find out, fox boy.” Rhysand taunted. 

Lucien blinked. 

“What?”

“They won’t notice, they’re under a minor enchantment. They won’t even notice you getting up and walking out.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“Do you want to know where Tamlin is?” 

Lucien took in a sharp breath. Yes, he did want to know where Tamlin was, and he wanted to get Rhysand far away from him. He wanted to pull him away from the Night Court entirely, and convince him to stop fucking drifting away from him. Godfuckingdamnit, Tamlin was his friend. Not Rhysand’s. Not anyone else's. His, fucking his, all his. 

Laughter, bright and full, once again bubbled in Lucien, not his own though. It came from Rhysand, speaking to him from wherever he was. It shocked Lucien back to reality. 

What the hell was he thinking?

“What the hell are you thinking?” Rhysand purred. 

“Get out of my head.”

“Come find me and make me.” Lucien didn’t know how, but he knew Rhysand was smirking. 

Fuck. 

Gently, Lucien eased out of his seat. Watching the faces of his brothers. Of the other Lords. As he came to his feet, not even Eris glanced his way. 

Quietly, he slipped away, to the door, resting his fingers on the doorknob, he glanced at Eris once more, and his empty seat. Sure enough, none of them noticed as he left the meeting. 

“Where are you?” Lucien muttered. 

“Go towards the higher rooms.” 

The higher rooms, the ones that were reserved for the High Lords. Bathed in purple luxury, and gilded with gold, they were specially made. 

Lucien swallowed hard. 

“What are you doing to him?” Lucien found himself asking Rhysand. Feeling sharp anger stabbing his core, he let all of his rage pour out into the entity invading his mind. 

“Oh you wanna spy on him now?” Rhysand mocked, “I’ll do you one better. Do you want to hear what’s happening to him? Then I’ll let you guess what I’m doing.”

Shit, shit, shit. Lucien didn’t know what he was thinking anymore, as he picked up his pace, going up the spiralling stairs, feeling a tug that grew stronger with every step. 

“Well, Lucie?” Rhysand demanded for his answer. 

Fucking Hell. 

“Fine.” 

There was a pleased hum from Rhysand that vibrated through his entire being, against every good sense, he shivered. 

Then another voice came into his head. Lucien nearly tripped, as his heart started beating out his chest, heat flooding his face making a pink flush spread from his cheeks to his ears and down his neck.

“Please. Oh, please, Rhys. Pleas- Fuck.” The words were breathless, interlaced with gasps and low whines. 

The connection quickly cut off, and Rhysand returned saying, “Is he still only yours now, Lucie?”

“You vile piece of worthless shit-” Lucien mouthed the words out loud, unable to contain the rage stoking higher and higher, as a pressure settled low in his gut. 

“Such language…” 

“Where. Are. You?”

“Why do you want to know, Lucien?”

Those words made Lucien stop in his tracks, staring at how far he’d come. The solid stone walls, the spiralling staircase behind him, the hallway stretched out in front of him. 

“You know what they say, Lucie.” Rhysand murmured, “Two is better than one.”

“I don’t know what fucking game you’re playing, Rhysand. But quit it.” 

“I’ll spell this out for you, Vanserra.” Rhysand said, “You can go back to that meeting, stay there bored out of your brains while you imagine what I’m doing to your beloved- No, don’t try to deny it. We both know you will. Or you can come find us.”

Lucien felt his whole body shake. 

“What’s it going to be?”

Fuck…

He didn’t even have to think about it. What did that mean for him? That he so easily gave in to this invitation? 

“Where are you?”

Lucien could practically feel Rhysand’s grin. 

They were in one of the highest rooms. The large door was heavy, locked. But as Lucien reached to touch it, he heard a click from the inside. The invitation was there. 

He couldn’t hear anything from outside, his blood pounding in his ears as he tried to imagine what could be happening. What they could be doing. What he was going to walk in on. 

“Fuck.” Lucien whispered, but he couldn’t stop his hand. He pushed the door open. 

He didn’t know what to imagine when he walked in- No, scratch that. He knew exactly what he was imagining, it was just nothing could compare to the real thing. 

The room itself was one of the smallest, it had to be the one made up specifically for Tamlin. Whenever a High lord visited, the chambers he was given to reside in were customised according to the Lord’s needs and preferences, the same was done for all whom accompanied him. But Lucien and Tamlin being the youngest, both got the scraps compared to what their superiors were given. 

But still the bed was large, in the centre of the room, it was decorated with dark, emerald green silk, and when Tamlin first came here, it was no doubt made up perfectly. 

It wasn’t perfect right now. 

But in Lucien’s head in that moment, it was better than perfect, because Tamlin was twisted up in the sheets. Sweat-slicked skin gleaming, back arched, his hair an absolute mess, face scrunched up in pleasure all the while, Rhysand was bent overtop him, his slender fingers fisting the back of Tamlin’s head, shoving his face into the mattress. They laid facing the door. 

Lucien’s breathing picked up, and heat shot straight down into his belly, as he shoved himself back up against the door, slamming it closed. 

The sudden noise alerted Tamlin to someone entering, Lucien could see the moment, those hazy green eyes snapped from his own cloud of pleasure, panic filling them as he quickly looked up. 

But that panic subsided as it gave way to disbelief when he locked eyes with Lucien. 

“Lucien,” Tamlin breathed out, Rhysand still over top him, pressing him down in the mattress. 

“Seems like the little fox has come to play, my love.” Rhysand murmured. 

Tamlin craned his neck back to stare at Rhysand confused, “What-” He shook his head, quickly grabbing the sheets tangled around them to try and protect his decency. 

But Rhysand’s strong grip held Tamlin firmly against him, “I mean it my love.”

“What?” Tamlin repeated a little firmer this time as he looked back at Lucien, his eyes still a little unfocused, no doubt trying to stay grounded, even as Rhysand’s naked form was pressed against him. 

“I should leave.” Lucien said, making no move to leave. 

Rhysand smiled so cruelly at him. Tamlin was breathing hard, his cheeks and ears scarlet red, his hands fisted in the sheets. His hair was an absolute mess, he was an absolute mess, and Lucien’s heart was beating faster. 

“You can leave.” Rhysand said, that smile refusing to leave his face. Lucien had the sudden urge to slap it off him. With his hand of course. Even though his eyes kept darting to his lips, “Or…”

“What are you doing, Rhys?” Tamlin hissed, shooting an apologetic look to Lucien, his eyes filled with embarrassment, Lucien wanted to cradle him close and present him with Rhysand’s filleted body on a silver platter. 

“Oh me and Lucien have been chatting.”

Tamlin’s face dropped, all at once, anger swallowed that fucked out look on his face as he purposefully shoved Rhysand back, but the older male still kept him down, “You’ve been mind-speaking to him! While we’ve been-”

“I should leave.” Lucien said again, this time his hand reaching for the handle behind him. 

“Before you run off and before he bites my dick off.” Rhysand spoke in a drawled, lazy manner. Looking at Tamlin struggling against him disinterested, “I have a proposition.”

“What are you trying to do?” Tamlin demanded to know. 

“Don’t try and tell me you wouldn’t have him sit in that chair and watch you if you could. I hear your thoughts, darling.” Rhysand replied, his eyes going towards Lucien at the end. 

“Rhysand!” Tamlin shouted, actually managing to shove him off this time. Rhysand took the push gracefully. Leaning back onto his heels, unlike Tamlin, who scrambled to grab a sheet to cover himself, Rhysand was perfectly content to let Lucien see every part of him. 

Lucien froze. 

Locked in a space between what his relationships with these two had been before and what it might end up being, he stared at Rhysand, then his eyes drifted to Tamlin. Lucien slowly cocked his head to the side. 

“You fantasise about me?” He asked, Lucien was surprised by how breathless his voice sounded. 

Tamlin’s face somehow got redder, and he glared at Rhysand.

But he didn’t deny it. 

“Now, back to my proposition.” Rhysand declared. 

Tamlin loosened a growl, but the Heir of Night simply waved him off. 

“Little Lucien made the trip all the way up here just to find you, darling. It would be rude to send him off so quickly.”

“Spit it out, Rhysand.” Tamlin growled. 

Rhysand rolled his eyes, then he looked towards Lucien, “I’ll be more direct then. I want to fuck you both.”

The room got infinitely hotter, though it wasn’t as if Lucien hadn’t been considering this. He’d practically agreed to it when he spoke to Rhysand through his mind. When he’d heard the way Rhysand had been making Tamlin sing out. 

Fuck. 

But Tamlin looked at him as though he’d threatened to light the whole of Prythian on fire. His mouth opened and he looked towards Lucien like he might apologise, but his words were stolen when he watched what Lucien did. 

With a cunning, graceful slowness, Lucien slid his jacket off as he stepped closer to the bed, “I wouldn’t be… opposed.” He breathed out. 

Rhysand’s eyes scoured him, raking over every inch of his body like he was a piece of art to be studied, understood. Lucien didn’t miss the way his mouth opened slightly, his blue eyes seeming to deepen in colour. 

Tamlin couldn’t seem to land on an emotion to feel, his face not hiding a single one as they flew through him, but underneath it all, Lucien could smell his arousal, could see the hardness he attempted to hide with the sheet. 

Images ran through Lucien’s head, what his friend’s cock looked like, what it’d feel like in his mouth, what his seed would taste like. Flicking his eyes to Tamlin’s lips, Lucien wondered if he was thinking something similar about him. 

“Only if Tam wants it.” Lucien added, not daring to look him in the eyes, instead his gaze roamed over his throat, the bruises there that were already starting to heal, all no doubt left by Rhysand…

The want to mark that milky, freckled skin with his own mouth was nearly startling. 

“Well, darling?” Rhysand asked, crawling across the sheets to grab at Tamlin’s waist pressing kisses to his skin that made him shiver, “What do you say?”

Tamlin’s breathing turned shallow, as he looked back up at Lucien who was no close enough to be nearly towering over him. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

“I would have left if I wasn’t.” Lucien assured. 

Rhysand cocked his head as if to say, “Well?”

Tamlin looked between the two of them, then his eyes drifted back up to Lucien’s. His voice was practically a whine as he said, “Please.”

That was all it took for Lucien’s restraint to snap.

He shoved one knee into the mattress as he leaned forward to capture Tamlin’s mouth in his own. Tamlin moaned as their lips met, opening up to let Lucien deepen the kiss. The fire Lord wanted to drag it out, he wanted to start slow, but he felt Rhysand sliding up beside him, dragging his tongue across Tamlin’s nipple, Tamlin’s hand fisting in Rhysand’s hair as Rhys started biting and sucking. The loud moan that was torn from Tamlin’s throat, was enough to make Lucien quicken the pace. 

Lucien grabbed a fistful of Tamlin’s hair, the blond loose curls soft and wet with sweat between his fingers. Tamlin’s other hand flew to his shirt, trying desperately to undo it. A claw slid out of his knuckle, and Lucien broke the kiss to lean back and undo it himself. Trying to preserve what clothing he had brought with him. 

Rhysand laughed lowly, and Tamlin’s head tipped back, eyes once again bright with bliss and pleasure. 

The Night Lord looked up briefly, locking eyes with Lucien, and understanding hit him all at once. 

This was about Tamlin. 

The blond had been stressed out of his mind as of late. In the few times Lucien had managed to be able to see him he hadn’t been sleeping or eating properly. Sometimes Lucien had to force him to lie down or eat even a little bit of a meal. Neither of them really knew what was going on, but for a little while now, Tamlin had been going to Hybern with his father more and more often, and every time he came back from those trips he looked worse and worse and worse. 

Tonight was about Tamlin. It was about bringing him as much pleasure, as much happiness, as possible. Gods, the man sometimes just thought too much. 

But how could he possibly think, if he was being fucked out of his mind?

Lucien quickly threw his shirt to the ground and crashed his mouth against Tamlin’s again as he fiddled with getting his trousers off. He was never wearing this many layers again. Not if they slowed him down from being able to finally fuck the male he’d been dreaming about. 

When Lucien finally was able to pull his trousers down and let them join the rest of the clothing scattered across the floor, Rhysand settled behind Tamlin, his hands going up and down smooth, toned thighs, while Lucien rested in front of Tamlin, their knees touching, his decency still hidden by the thin green silk sheet. 

“How do you want it, darling?” Rhysand murmured, his voice soft like silk as his lips trailed the line of Tamlin’s neck, Lucien watched, transfixed. His hands moved on their own, wanting to touch, to hold, to bite, bruise and suck. 

“I want…” Tamlin was breathless, his eyes falling closed as his head tilted back, practically begging for that soft spot between his throat and shoulder to be bitten. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Rhysand laughed, then he hummed, as his fingers buried themselves into Tamlin’s hair, “How about you make Lucien feel welcome, hm?”

The breath was stolen from Lucien’s lungs, as his cock twitched with interest, Tamlin’s eyes flicked down to it, his hand flexing slightly. 

Rhysand moved back, slipping off the edge of the bed, and then all of Lucien’s attention was on Tamlin. 

“Can I?” Tamlin asked, as he moved to kneel. Lucien felt his face go hot, as he opened his legs on instinct. 

“You may.” Lucien said, he watched as Tamlin grabbed the base of his cock, stroking slowly. A breath whimper left him, he was helpless to stop it, especially as those pink, plush lips ghosted over the tip of his dick. 

It was breath-taking. Tamlin, looking so utterly fucked, with his hair a mess, his skin a mess, his eyes staring up at Lucien, searching for approval, for his approval. Lucien’s cock started leaking as Tamlin’s tongue dragged along his shaft. 

The blond wrapped his lips around him, sucking on the tip hard, before starting to work his way down, stroking what he could reach. Lucien moaned and bucked his hips, feeling like he was being unraveled, he forced his cock deeper down Tamlin’s throat, grabbing at his long hair with one hand. 

“Fuck, Tam,” Lucien moaned, “You feel so good. Such a pretty mouth.”

The moan that left Tamlin, vibrated along Lucien, and he couldn’t stop the way his hips moved, making Tamlin gag on his cock. The sensation was quickly pushing him towards the edge. 

In all of this, Lucien hadn’t been watching what Rhysand was doing. He didn’t even know where he was until he saw him return from somewhere in the shadows, holding a bottle of what looked to be oil. 

Rhysand watched as Tamlin worked Lucien with his throat, spit and precum dribbling down his chin as he sucked and stroked.

He was getting closer, his body was burning, everything was so hot. He felt so good. He looked so good. He was fucking perfect. Tamlin’s wet, hot mouth was bringing him so close to the edge, just a little bit more. Lucien’s moans grew louder and higher, his fingers curling tighter in Tamlin’s hair. 

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum. Tam, fuck-” 

Lucien just about nearly screamed when Tamlin was roughly yanked off his cock. Rhysand tutted as he kept Tamlin’s hair fisted in his hand, Tamlin’s neck bent back at an uncomfortable angle. 

“Not so fast, little fox, we still have so much to do.” Rhysand grinned, his smile only widening at the tears pooling in Lucien’s eyes from the stimulation, and the aching in his cock. 

Rhysand then leaned down and asked Tamlin, “Think you can take us both, darling?”

“Yes,” Tamlin all but moaned as Rhysand let go of his hair, his face falling into the mattress. Suddenly, that fire in Lucien’s core burned twice as hot, the heat threatening to consume him entirely. He and Rhysand locked eyes and that cheshire grin was suddenly on Lucien’s face as well. 

Being shoved back against the headboard, as Rhysand manhandled Tamlin over both their weeping cocks was not where Lucien thought he’d be today, but he wasn’t about to argue, especially not as he watched Tamlin’s face, sweat collecting on his brow, clutching his shoulders as Rhysand’s oil slick fingers stretched him out. Tamlin moaned, his head dropping into the crook of Lucien’s finger as Rhysand purposefully propped that sweet spot inside him. The Heir of Spring rocked back against his fingers, oil slicked up the insides of his thighs, his hips kept thrusting into the air, his legs trembling and Lucien needed to be inside him. 

“Are you alright, darlin-” Rhysand tried to ask, but Tamlin cut him off by taking Lucien’s cock in his hand, lining himself up and sinking down. 

Both males moaned as the head of Lucien’s cock stretched Tamlin’s wet, hot whole. Lucien’s fingers flew to his hips, digging into the flesh, digging red marks into the skin. All coherent thoughts went out the window as unbearable warmth shot like poison through his body. He wanted to cum so badly, his depraved imagination wanted to shove Tamlin down into the bed and watch as his cock sunk in and out of his hole, he wanted to fuck Tamlin until he was crying out his name, until he couldn’t think of anything outside of Lucien, and how fucking good he felt. 

Then Lucien’s attention was drawn to Rhysand, and how his hands had travelled to Lucien’s thighs, digging in there. Lucien’s eyes found Rhysand’s, and the Night Lord grinned that stupid fucking grin. That smile like he knew everything going through his head. 

Lucien’s mouth fell open as he remembered, Rhysand did know everything going through his head. 

“Our little fox wants to ruin you, lovely.” Rhysand whispered in Tamlin’s ear. Tamlin blinked his eyes open, staring into Lucien’s with that soft gaze that only Tamlin could give to him. Lucien bathed in it, he felt Rhysand’s hands roaming him, watching him, listening. 

He felt more seen than he had in his entire life. 

Tamlin’s hands tightened on Lucien’s shoulders as his eyes squeezed shut, moans, whimpers and high-pitched whines falling from his mouth as Rhysand pushed the head of his cock inside of him, his hole stretching to accommodate them both. Lucien looked down and watched as Tamlin took both of them, slowly adjusting to the intense sensation. 

All three of them were panting, little whines and moans escaping as Tamlin finally sunk down to the root. Lucien held so tightly onto him, trying his best not to lose his control entirely and just fuck without restraint. 

Tamlin crashed their lips together, kissing him hard, Lucien’s mouth opened, and Tamlin slid him his tongue. They both grabbed at each other, feeling more like wild animals than anything else. 

“You ready, darling?” Rhysand asked as his hands left Lucien’s thighs to grab hold of Tamlin. 

“Fuck. Me.” Tamlin ordered. 

And the two were happy to obey. 

Tamlin bounced up and down, his head falling back, leaving his neck exposed to Lucien’s bruising lips as the two of them fucked into him, not in sync but going hard and fast. Tamlin quickly got lost, Lucien manoeuvred himself to hit at a deeper angle, and Tamlin nearly cried when he started abusing that bundle of nerves deep within him with his cock. 

“I’m so close.” Tamlin cried, “I’m so close!”

Lucien was relishing in this, as his eyes rolled back, sweat dripped down his neck, his hair which had been brushed and styled to perfection was a mess, his clothes were somewhere on the floor, and he’d never felt so fucking good. Everything was good. Especially watching Tamlin ride both their dicks like he was made for it. 

One of Tamlin’s hands left its place on Lucien’s shoulder, grabbing the wooden headboard, scratching echoed through the room as Tamlin’s claws jutted out. And seeing that powerful display, seeing this male, so far above him in terms of just how much strength he wielded. Falling apart, impaled on dick, barely able to control himself, was what finally snapped all Lucien’s last remaining threads of self control. 

Lucien dug his heels into the mattress, digging his fingers so hard into Tamlin’s hips, bruises bloomed underneath them. He fucked up, harder and faster, hitting Tamlin’s prostate with every thrust. Rhysand leaned over and grabbed the headboard, seemingly feeling the exact same way, as they both abused Tamlin’s hole. The blond’s legs nearly gave out underneath him, but Lucien kept his grip strong. Just a little bit, just a bit more.

Tears filled Tamlin’s eyes as a scream was ripped from his throat, white cum shooting out over his stomach and Lucien’s chest. The other two weren’t far behind him, and just a few thrusts later, white heat shot through Lucien, his orgasm hitting him violently. His body twitching and shaking as he came inside Tamlin. 

Rhysand came, his teeth digging into Tamlin’s shoulder as he did. Then the three collapsed atop each other. Or… more just atop Lucien. 

After a few minutes were spent trying to catch their breath as their bodies refused to come down from the high, they finally found enough energy to get underneath the blankets. 

As clarity came back to him, Lucien blinked his eyes open to see the white ceiling above him, and a sinking feeling came to him, as he thought Tamlin and Rhysand might kick him out. Might say he had to go back. 

But, instead, he was cocooned in warmth, as Tamlin slung an around over his chest cuddling into his side, Rhysand curled around his side, his lips pressed gently against Lucien’s neck. 

“How was that?” Rhysand asked. 

“It was so good.” Tamlin answered in a breathless voice. The praise sent a pleasant warm tingling all over Lucien’s body. 

“Next time, you should show Luce your wings, he’d have a field day.” Tamlin commented. 

Lucien blinked, confused, he turned to Rhysand who was half-heartedly glaring at Tamlin. 

“You have wings?” 

“I am half-Illyrian, I inherited the wings… High Fae tend to be off put by them.”

“I wouldn’t be.” Lucien answered, sincerity lacing every word. 

Rhysand seemed unconvinced, but Tamlin reached over, lazily twirling a black hair strand around his finger, and Rhysand’s expression softened.

“Maybe next time. If you want a next time that is?” That grin returned as Rhysand traced circles on Lucien’s chest, the redheads breathing askew once more. 

“Maybe.” Lucien offered, normally this was where he’d quip something smart. But he fucked out of it. Having both these males so close to him, still covered in their shared fluids, still feeling that lingering warmth and tingling of pleasure. He couldn’t think if he tried. 

“I want a bath.” Lucien said. 

“Same,” Tamlin agreed. 

“Demanding, both of you.” Rhysand said deadpan, still getting up to go run the bath. 

Once he disappeared, Tamlin took in a breath and whispered, “So…?”

Lucien sighed, turning towards his lover, he said, “He’s not so bad.”

Tamlin smiled so beautifully, and Lucien kissed him. 

As they separated, Lucien heard footsteps, and looked up to seeing Rhysand looking down at him with an unreadable expression. He turned his head slightly away, “The bath’s ready.”

Lucien smiled, he sat up and tilted Rhysand’s face towards him, and kissed him too.