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lovelynim · 6 months ago

Text

More than he gambled for

Honkai: Star Rail - Sunday x Dr. Ratio x Aventurine

Collab with @ticklystuff

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I'm so excited to publish this. Thanks friend ( @ticklystuff ) for bearing me for 2 months, most people would've quitted in the first 48h, but you stayed there.

I had a blast writing this with you and enjoyed every one of our talks during breaks.

ahem, this all started with us thinking about aventurine getting obliterated by two handsome men and here we are. i hope you all like it as well

Summary: What happens in Penacony, stays in Penacony.

Word count: 5208 words

Warnings: N$FW, minor bondage

“Agh,” Aventurine gritted his teeth, using some of his strength to sit back up without using his arms - not that he had an option anyway. “Couldn’t you be a little more gentle, doc?” With mischievous eyes, he looked at the man standing in front of him and, then, to the one a couple steps behind. He wasn’t sure what those two agreed behind his back, but Aventurine knew Ratio was up for something.

Arms restrained behind his back, all the doors that led to the Dreammaster Hall locked and not a soul if not theirs in sight. If this wasn’t Penacony’s dreamscape, Aventurine would dare to say this was some sort of murder attempt. He chuckled, making the other men exchange a confused look - who was he trying to kid? This could be a murder attempt, and how oh-so-exciting it would be if it was actually one. “Please, you’re not going to give me the silent treatment, are you?”

Ratio rolled his eyes, sighing as he had anything but patient to waste on that damned gambler. “You-”

“You’re so confident, Mr. Aventurine. I envy this trait of yours,” Sunday spoke gently, taking a step forward and standing by Ratio’s side. With one hand behind his back, he gestured with the other, continuing his speech. “I was just telling Mr. Ratio about how very appealing you were after your arrival in Penacony. I can’t grant that the Great One would approve your methods, but you sure knew what to do.”

Aventurine’s jaw dropped slightly. A pinch of embarrassment mixed with apprehension and doubt. It was hard to believe that Sunday would actually share the word about their private negotiation, especially with someone like Ratio. But above that, what was even more improbable was the fact that the doctor would bother to hear it. Unless… “Doc, you’re not about to say you got jealous, right?” Aventurine teased despite his position, watching the man keep his serious facade.

Humming a chuckle at the short bickering, Sunday gestured with his free hand as he continued his speech. “It happened to me, Mr. Aventurine, that Mr. Ratio would find it hard to believe just how convincing you can be at certain times. So, I imagined it would be a good idea to show him it.”

…What?

Of all things that crossed his mind when he was first dragged into that room, this was not one of them. A interrogation, a torture session, a stealth assassination - anything! But… “a threesome?” Aventurine chuckled, leaning back into the soft cushions. He definitely did not expect things to come to this.

“But who said anything about having sexual intercourse?” Sunday feigned, tilting his head slightly while Ratio cringed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “But as you said to me a couple system-hours after our meeting in the Reviere, ‘this is Penacony, for the Amber Lord’s sake, land of dreams. Is it a crime to fuck?’, right?”

Did he say that? Well, the line certainly did sound like something that would slip out of his mouth, Aventurine wouldn’t deny. Yet more perplexing was the fact that this specific comment was what stuck with Sunday all this time, imprinting on the Halovian’s mind. Truth be told, there was a bit of purpose to the question. Why not make the most of his stay? Penacony, land of dreams, a place most sought, yet only accessible to the elite. It would be disingenuous to deny that many individuals here possessed an illustrious charm to their person and, if given the chance, Aventurine wouldn’t turn down a bit of fun. And yet, somehow, by the grace of the Amber Lord maybe, he found himself locked in this very room with what were possibly the two most.. delectable men Penacony had to offer. Apprehension turned thrill, Aventurine licked his lips; perhaps lady luck truly favored him after all.

“Speak, gambler.” Ratio’s voice effortlessly resounded off the walls of the hall, filling the dimly lit room with his presence. The authority behind his voice was something Aventurine had grown accustomed to over time, for better or worse, yet there was a noticeable difference that made its mark, sending a tingle of excitement through Aventurine’s body. “Or has the situation before you rendered that tongue of yours impotent for once?”

Aventurine chuckled, a half-attempt of a shrug with his snugly bound wrists. “Oh please, you know me better than that, Doc,” his voice softer than intended, eyes flitting as the imposing figures glowered over him, “but I’m not sure I’m in the position to say anything, to be quite frank.”

“An astute observation,” Ratio nodded with the usual condescending smile, turning to Sunday. “Mr. Sunday, may I suggest we now show the guest of honor why he’s in this position in the first place? I’m aware of your growing impatience.”

“Oh, but of course,” Sunday said, gesturing one hand to Aventurine’s seated figure. “After you, Dr. Ratio.”

Confidence can oftentimes be described as a double-edged sword: effective at fooling not just others, but oneself as well, and as Aventurine watched the two men take their place by his helpless frame that it dawned on him that perhaps there was something more in store, something underneath that smile Sunday wore well. He could only feign his own weakly, the act he put together quite well crumbling ever so slowly with each passing second, observing as Sunday and Ratio seemingly communicated with their eyes. What he wouldn’t give to hear their thoughts.. or on second thought, perhaps the dark was for the best.

“Poor thing, are you nervous?” Sunday cooed, almost in a lullaby-like tone, while he sat himself by Aventurine's right side. Before the gambler had a chance to voice another smart remark, Sunday gently held his chin, turning Aventurine’s face towards his. Barely inches away from each other, it was nearly impossible for the blonde to stop blood from rushing to his cheeks. “Worry not, for you have nothing but good moments awaiting ahead.”

“S-sure…” Aventurine muttered, hoping the small crack on his confident facade would go unnoticed by the other two. As Sunday’s lips hovered above his, Aventurine closed his eyes, letting his face be guided into a short kiss. For someone as “pure, righteous and collected” as Sunday, the head of the Oak Family was surprisingly skilled with his mouth. This was the second time this thought crossed Aventurine’s mind - with the first being during his first private encounter with Sunday - but he couldn’t help but be just as impressed.

It didn’t take long for the gambler to feel a shift in the cushions by his other side. With no doubts that Ratio had joined the scene, Aventurine tried to relax and let the other man work on him as he pleased. Opening the buttons of his coat, Aventurine felt Ratio’s hands trailing up his torso, adjusting his posture so he would lean his back on Sunday while having his legs resting on Ratio’s lap. “Don’t be shy, doc,” the gambler teased, resting his head on Sunday’s shoulder, feeling his wing gently resting against his jawline. “If anything, you should make mr. Sunday impressed.”

If he was about to get fucked, he might as well let himself enjoy the ride, Aventurine thought. Kicking off his shoes, he kept Ratio between his legs by wrapping one of them around the doctor’s waist. The only thing stopping Aventurine from hugging Sunday by his neck being the cuffs that kept his hands together, the gambler let out a pleased sigh, allowing a smirk to take place in his lips. “You already know the drill, doc, come on. ~”

Behind him, Sunday couldn’t help but to look up to the doctor, as if waiting for an answer after such provocations. The scholar, however, scoffed quietly and towered over the gambler, a wicked grin playing in his lips while his hands pushed Aventurine’s clothes out of his way, getting a hold on the blonde’s bare waist. “You should have held your tongue, gambler.”

Finding himself trapped between the two men, Aventurine clenched his hands - that, thankfully, were out of their sight. He looked down, watching Sunday slide one of his hands down his chest and Ratio rest his palms over his hip bones. The texture of their gloves were different, which added a touch of… uniqueness to each of them. While Sunday’s hands were covered in a delicate fabric, smooth and soft as silk, the contrast between Ratio’s bare fingers and covered palms would constantly capture Aventurine’s attention and interest.

But… Aventurine didn’t expect the other two to be touchy. Not this touchy, at least. “H-hngh… hey, c-can you two be a little less… g-gentle?” Aventurine gasped through gritted teeth, sinking his teeth in his lower lip as Ratio rubbed small circles with his thumbs. “T-this kinda- agh, t-tickles, heh…”

“Mmm, interesting,” Sunday chuckled lowly, the wisp of his breath grazing Aventurine’s skin ever so slightly, sending a trickle down his spine. This in tandem with the incessant caress of Sunday’s fingers, from the curve of his waist to the edge of his pecs, made it difficult to focus on the task at hand and Aventurine would open his mouth to fuss about the excessive display of touchiness, but would curl his lips shut soon after, fighting the unique sensation bubbling at the back of his throat. As if to knowingly further coax the feeling, Sunday’s hand slipped underneath the tight shirt still clad around Aventurine’s torso, repeating the same motion from before, threatening to pop the buttons of his top from below. Sunday’s delicate fingers intricately imprinted on his bare skin, a hint that this was a familiar game he played, and with the slight brush of his gloved hand along Aventurine’s nipple released a shiver through the blond’s body, cascading into a ragged arch of his back that accompanied a mewl Aventurine fought to suppress.

Had it been Sunday alone, perhaps the ordeal would have been manageable, but there was still Ratio and his own set of hands to contend with. Despite the certain familiarity behind those hands, the subtle differences were all too difficult to ignore. It was almost like Ratio had taken a page out of Sunday’s book, mimicking the gentle strokes that Sunday used to mark all over Aventurine’s torso, a stark contrast from the rougher treatment Aventurine had grown accustomed to. His legs quivered with each passing second, anticipating the Ratio he knew so well to pick up the pace, yet even the doctor seemed caught in the moment, kneading his fingers into Aventurine’s hips, forcing a sharp gasp from the blond as he involuntarily jutted his hips.

“S-Stop th— this nonsense,” his voice wobbled in his throat, pushing back the laughter that only grew the more their hands claimed inches of skin. “It tickles— stop, I-I said it tickles..”

“Ah, our dear peacock seems to be quite the… sensitive one.” The tone in Sunday’s voice, the way in which he emphasized that word— it all pointed to one thing and Aventurine didn’t like that. This wasn’t what he expected, their plaything in such a manner, and Aventurine discovered the more he squirmed, the more he attempted to retract his legs, the closer their bodies pressed into him—

And yet, there existed a distinct kind of tension, a faint presence rooted at the pit of his stomach. Under normal circumstances, this would be no more than a passing thought, a mere blip in his system, yet the feeling budded ever so slightly, nourished by the stimuli plaguing his body, to the point that Aventurine could ignore no longer. For all his efforts, the feeling continued to flower, invoked by the heat of his surroundings, unfurling its petals to propagate through his limbs, his system, an unfamiliar sensation knotting throughout him, yearning to be touched.

And yet, he still fought.

“Perhaps we should’ve taken care to restrain his legs as well,” Ratio expressed irritatedly as Aventurine’s legs continued to jerk, contrasting the subtle whines that escaped the blond’s mouth with each touch.

“And here I thought you’d prefer a bit of a challenge,” Sunday tutted, resting his chin atop Aventurine’s shoulder, as if he wasn’t struggling in his grasp, searching for reprieve from those damned hands. “And to think, we haven’t even really started.”

A death sentence wouldn’t have evoked as much fear as those words did. Aventurine’s jaw opened slightly, struck by realization. Just when he was about to turn his head to look over his shoulder and face Sunday, Aventurine was forced to look back forward by a firm grip on his chin.

“Is there something troubling you, gambler?” Unlike Sunday’s, Ratio’s voice was firm, demanding, almost as if he was scolding Aventurine. The blonde opened his mouth to retort - his body moving faster than his thoughts - but instead of words, something he had been fighting so hard to repress came out: a giggle.

Distracted by Ratio’s sudden approach, Aventurine failed to notice Sunday’s hands slipping further inside his shirt, reaching for the soft skin of his sides and prodding at those spots - on both sides, at the same time. And as he was caught off guard, a short, breathy laugh escaped his lips.

“Oh?” Sunday mused, arching his eyebrows in a pleasant - at least, for him - surprise. “Did you hear that, mr. Ratio?”

No, no, no, no, no!

A million thoughts rushed through Aventurine’s mind, as if he and the other two were all frozen in time at that moment. The gambler looked up to see the doctor’s face and felt his heart sink inside his chest when he noticed those amber eyes he knew oh-so-well weren’t looking at him, but rather past him.

“R-Ratio,” Aventurine wheezed, with a dozen of other words stuck at the back of his throat, “don’t even think about tha-AHAT!” His body jerked violently, arching his spine when Sunday dug his fingers just below his lowest rib again.

“I beg your pardon, mr. Aventurine, but I was talking to mr. Ratio,” Sunday cooed into his ear, making the blonde grit his teeth. Aventurine felt frustrated, humiliated even, but also… thrilled.

“Yes, I did,” Ratio scoffed, roughly yanking his hand down Aventurine’s torso, ripping off all the buttons of his expensive shirt that were in the way. “But I can’t say I’m anywhere near impressed, mr. Sunday. He has always been ticklish. Awfully ticklish, if you ask me. So this reaction is anything but unexpected.”

Aventurine groaned quietly, feeling a faint heat spread across his face after being exposed, both physically and verbally, like that. He slightly scrunched up his shoulders, as if trying to sink into his own body. If he was a little more flexible, he would have pulled his leg back just to land a kick on Ratio’s handsome face. That bastard, how could he be handing such a valuable, classified intel like that?

“I see,” Sunday chirped content, sliding his hands up and towards the middle of Aventurine’s torso, palming at the underside of his chest. “He seems to know you really well, mr. Aventurine. I bet you two get along well,” he teased, humming a chuckle while his fingers tapped at the top of his abs, making the blonde tremble with anticipation.

“N-no such thi- ah! W-wahahit! R-Ratio, ahAHAh, n-nohoh!!”

“I would appreciate it if you could spare me of your monologues, mr. Sunday,” Ratio snapped, planting his hands back at Aventurine’s waist and drawing both men’s attention back to him. Thumbs dug just above where Aventurine’s bones would be while the rest of Ratio’s fingers prodded and vibrated against his lower sides and back.

“You already have plenty on your hands, no?” The scholar continued, casually ignoring Aventurine’s loud, panicked pleas between his laughter.

Sunday clicked his lips, pondering about what would be a proper response. “By the Great One, doctor, it seems that I struck not just mr. Aventurine’s nerves, but yours too,” he teased, grinning at the sight of Ratio frowning.

Still, he couldn’t really deny that he, indeed, had plenty in his hands already. Sunday clawed at Aventurine’s sides, slowly working his way up the blonde’s ribs and, much to the gambler’s horror, managing to worm his fingers under Aventurine’s arms.

“H-hey, hehey!!” Aventurine whined, throwing his head back into Sunday’s shoulder and kicking one of the nearby cushions as he squirmed. “F-fucking stahahap this shihihit!” Aeons, it tickled. It tickled so bad it made him want to crawl out of his skin. It tickled so bad that he… wanted more?

“Mr. Sunday,” Ratio tutted, “bear in mind that I do not entertain lowly provocations, especially from beings such as yourself,” his voice chided the other, working his hands over Aventurine’s thighs at the same time, “though, if it humors that pigeon brain of yours, my most recent observations confirm that you perhaps possess an inkling of expertise when handling our gambler here.”

“I presume a compliment from you is but a rare occurrence, which explains mr. Aventurine’s display of lonely behavior the other day,” Sunday commented with a hint of playfulness, but full of second intentions. His voice, however, barely audible over Aventurine’s laughter, just loud enough to make his message clear to the scholar, “but I am no man to refuse such courtesy— I humbly accept the praise, mr. Ratio.”

Throughout all this, Aventurine’s pleas fell on deaf ears, begging to be granted even a shred of mercy from the hands that were seemingly everywhere. And yet, if one could take a bird’s eye view of the situation, one would be able to observe the way Aventurine sunk into Sunday’s hold, his legs clinging tighter to Ratio’s body, head lolling to the side, body twitching to the source of the sensations, seemingly begging for more, unbeknownst to Aventurine himself. Each poke, each prod, each pinch, invoked a string of pleasure, wringing together into a jumbled mess that brought both confusion and.. excitement.

“Waihah- stop! Stahahap, I-I can’t—!”

“Yes, you can. Yes.. you can,” Sunday cooed smoothly, his breath warm against the tip of Aventurine’s ear. His hands traveled the length of Aventurine’s torso freely, no longer restricted by the tight shirt from before, taking liberties in how he tormented the blond. Digs to his ribs, a squeeze to his side, learning Aventurine’s body with his hands. A yelp escaped his lips right when Sunday’s hand reached for his exposed nipple and Sunday’s intrigued ‘ah’ that followed made Aventurine want to curl up if he could. Having caught his interest, Sunday’s fingers continued to roll what seemed like his new favorite spot in between his thumb and index finger and Aventurine shifted and squirmed underneath his touch, almost as if Sunday had complete control of his body with one simple movement, all while still digging into Aventurine’s underarm.

And Ratio.. his damned hands at his thighs, digging into them ravishingly. He looked upwards to face the doctor, mouth agape with laughter, hoping his eyes could convey that he just needed this to fucking stop, yet the slight grin that crossed Ratio’s face was enough for Aventurine’s stomach to sink. The man clearly found amusement in Aventurine’s reactions, squeezing harder with each shriek, keeping the slim legs apart whenever Aventurine would attempt to protect the sensitive inner regions, all while keeping that delighted gaze locked with Aventurine’s own helpless one.

“R-Ratio, pleHEHEase! Stop! Just— staHAHap!” The fingers at his thighs combined with Sunday’s special attention to his pecs was too much, past the point of overstimulation. His body felt weightless, head fuzzy from the high coursing through his veins. His struggles withered away, slumped back in their hold as the tickling continued on, and on, and on..

Until it didn’t.

“...Oh.”

It took a moment for Aventurine’s brain to register that the hands had come to a gradual halt— first were the ones at his thighs, then Sunday’s hands at his upper-body. He laid there, eyes glazed over, aimlessly following the blurred stars dance across the ceiling. Although the tickling had stopped moments ago, light giggles still flowed from his mouth, thinning out into the occasional heavy intake of breath as Aventurine took in his break.

“You seem perplexed, doctor,” mused Sunday. “Is something the matter?”

Through half-lidded eyes, Aventurine took in Ratio’s inquisitive gaze, almost like he was focusing on Aventurine, yet not. “Mr. Sunday, it appears that our gambler here has something to share with the two of us.”

Spent of energy, all Aventurine could manage in response was a half head-tilt, rolling the back of his head along the lining of Sunday’s chest, head too hazy to follow along, though it soon became clear what Ratio was referring to. Aventurine’s eyes jolted open and a choked gasp filled the air following the feeling of Ratio’s hand grazing his crotch…. or rather, what was there.

“W-Wait, Ratio, no.. no, don’t, pleas- hAH!” Aventurine’s legs twitched as Ratio’s palm began methodical rubs against the tented pants, gentle pressure to stimulate his already hardened member. Sharp intakes of breath were all that Aventurine could cling to in an attempt to control himself with the rising heat overtaking his body. His eyes once again locked with Ratio’s own, shaking his head in plea, yet the scholar carried on, using his free hand to keep Aventurine’s thighs from clasping together, while the other continued to feel.. touch.

“Ah, I see, I see,” Aventurine could make out a chuckle from behind him, before fingers made their way to the base of his chin, turning his head to face Sunday’s amused smile once more. “What a turn of events— I suppose the course of action is clear.” Breathy whines filled the air as Sunday’s own free hand came into play, palming Aventurine along with Ratio, as if the two men were competing for his attention. “Doctor, if you’d care to do the honors.”

“Gladly.”

It all happened so quickly– first his belt and thigh strap tossed to the side, followed by the graze of fabric shifting against his skin. Despite his earlier demeanor, Ratio was surprisingly gentle throughout the whole process, slowly stripping Aventurine’s legs with care, bending and straightening his limbs with delicacy as he worked away at his pants. While one hand tugged at the fabric, the other would trail along, feeling along the newly bare skin, akin to a merchant threading his fingers through the finest silk, continuing until Aventurine’s feet had slid through his pants, socks discarded in the process.

All the while, Sunday’s fingers treaded the outline of his boxers, toying with the elastic, before burrowing underneath. A short whimper slipped through Aventurine’s mouth the moment he felt Sunday’s thin fingers wrap around his cock. “Hmmm~” Sunday hummed, contrasting the series of frantic breaths that only grew in beat with each passing second. His body jerked with each complete circle that Sunday teased along the head, as if the other man had complete control over Aventurine’s body through a singular rhythm. Even as Ratio’s own fingers hooked around the hem of Aventurine’s boxers, Sunday’s hand never left ownership, keeping Aventurine his plaything till the last layer discarded.

“...s-stop staring,” Aventurine sobbed quietly, his chin pressing down at the middle of his chest as if it was somehow hiding him from the other two - that only seemed to grow more amused at his reactions. His dick, however, stood up proudly, contrasting its owner. It clearly enjoyed the attention it was getting and, of course, it craved for more. Aventurine felt his body burning under the two piercing gazes that surrounded him and, to the death of the last bits of his pride, he didn’t even need to look at Ratio’s or Sunday’s faces to know where they were looking.

He wanted to close his legs shut, kick the doctor in the face and punch the family’s head as he ran away. He wanted to want to fight back, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. As much as he would rather die than admit he got hard because he was tickled, Aventurine knew that his body - that had already betrayed him - would never miss such a chance.

Before these thoughts could occupy any more room inside his head, the feeling of another hand joining Sunday’s around his cock brought him back to reality. Aventurine bit his lower lip, his pupils quickly moving up to Ratio’s face and down to his own erection. “Is something troubling you, gambler?”

“I assume there must be a lot crossing mr. Aventurine’s mind right now,” Sunday answered, humming a chuckle sweetly as he pressed his cheeks against the blonde’s. “Should we help him release some?”

Aventurine wished he could snap back at that, say something and prove Sunday wrong, but, again, he didn’t. Barely any sound came from his gaping mouth and, taking his silence for an answer, the men continued to toy with him.

Sunday closed his palm around the tip of Aventurine’s dick, carefully rubbing circles over the spot as he massaged it, almost fluttering his digits over the skin of the blonde’s length. Ratio, in the meantime, wrapped his fingers around the hard cock - tight enough to force a whimper out of Aventurine’s mouth - and began to stroke it, up and down and up and down, methodic like the man himself.

A sweet, but restrained moan poured from Aventurine’s lips. A shiver ran up his spine, carrying enough pleasure to make his back arch and his toes curl.

“It must be heavenly, no?” Sunday cooed, his free hand resting over Aventurine’s stomach while the other worked nonstop to please him. “The attention, the care, the pleasure… I know you’re fond of those, mr. Aventurine,” he continued, making Aventurine feel safe, reassured, validated. Despite all the warnings and recommendations regarding Sunday’s figure before his current mission, here he was, leaning into his touch and giving himself to the fullest.

Still, something was missing. Something of ultimate importance for his pleasure and that, until not long ago, made itself present during his engagement with the other two. With teary, half-opened eyes, Aventurine stared at Ratio, hoping this would be enough to deliver the message. “D-doc, h-hah… ple-ehease…”

The scholar sighed. Should his and Sunday’s places switch, Aventurine’s needy mumbling wouldn’t carry as much meaning as they did. Ratio moved his other, hooking it under one of the blonde’s legs before caressing the smooth, tender skin. “Is this what you want, isn’t it, gambler?”

Not giving Aventurine the chance to even nod at his question, Ratio squeezed the back of his thigh, pinching and digging in a way that made Aventurine’s head spin and his lips curl into a smile.

“N-nohot so h-hahard, hhngh… doctor, b-be nihihice, ahh…”

Sunday, left out of their conversation, couldn’t help but to allow a slight smile to take place on his lips. “Yes, mr. Ratio,” he added to Aventurine’s pleas, beginning to trace circles and tickle around the blonde's navel while pre-cum slowly soaked the palm of his glove, “mr. Aventurine demands quite the care when dealing with him, isn't that right?”

“H-hehey, don't- ahhgh… S-Suhunday- s-low dohohown! ThaHAHahat's t-too muhuhuch!”

“Peculiar that he still holds himself to a position of authority,” Ratio scoffed, addressing only Sunday, yet his eyes stayed honed on Aventurine, as if scrutinizing the sorry state he found himself reduced to, “though I suppose a modicum of reprieve can be permitted.”

“I believe we are in agreement, then,” Sunday mused, and Aventurine could feel a shift as Sunday leaned in, murmuring against the tip of his ear once more. “You hear that, peacock? We’re almost there…”

“I- hah-hahaaAAH! Pl-please.. m-mm,” Aventurine stuttered, his teeth sinking into his lower lip in a vain attempt of holding the little dignity he had left at that point. He circled his lips, thrusting his dick into Sunday and Ratio’s hands, nearly demanding more.

Protests morphed to pleas, Aventurine’s own voice was foreign to him as he traversed the unfamiliar form of pleasure, steadily losing himself in the ripples. The hands were seemingly everywhere, intricately driving a string of sensations that pooled at the base of his crotch, constantly feeding attention to his shaft that craved for more. Even the slightest of touches were enough to set Aventurine off, evident by the way his body desperately pushed into those hands, seeking relief in what once brought him torment. Helpless whimpers spilled past his lips, unrestrained in nature as the seconds passed. Just.. a little longer…

Tickles and strokes, teases and squeezes. Aventurine's head spun under all that attention, losing track of what made sense and what didn’t. All he could feel was that heat swirling in his lower stomach, underneath the fingers seeing those electric sensations that made him smile and moan like an idiot.

He could feel it, it was right there.

“A-hAHAh, I-I’m c-cumming! I- hnngh! Ahh!!”

A sharp gasp struck through the air as Aventurine screwed his eyes shut, the dam reaching its collapse. Waves of pleasure began pouring through his body as he arrived at his climax, seeping into his nerves like sweet honey, rendering all other stimuli null. Shots of seed dirtied his chest and the hands that adored him so, finally acquiring what they sought. Aventurine relaxed back into Sunday’s hold, dots of color popping into his vision as his eyes stared listlessly into the ceiling of the hall. His legs trembled ever so slightly, recovering from the aftermath that he was finally free from.

Or so he thought.

“W-Wait.. stop! Stop it! Please- aH! A-AhahaHAHAHA! NOHOHO!”

A moment of respite and nothing more, the hands were at full vigor even more than before. Contrary to the previous bout of tickling, there seemed to be a silent agreement between Ratio and Sunday, as if both simultaneously came to the conclusion that play time was over.

What used to be light teases and subtle jabs became rougher digs and squeezes into the delicate skin. Each press against the surface created their own butterfly effect, setting a ripple that spread through his nerves, igniting each one so that the next could be set in greater ablaze. Compounded with the post-orgasm sensitivity, Aventurine’s body felt like it was on fire, absorbing every touch from the fingers that seared him, as if the sensations melted past his skin and coursed through his body to send him into sensory overload. Even the cool air of the hall was enough to make his body tingle.

“P-PLEASE!” Aventurine whined, overwhelmed. “N-no mOHOhore! I-it’s too m-much! AHAahah, f-fuck!” He tried to squirm, but each of limbs felt like they weighed ten times more. It tickled too much, it felt too good.

“You should know best between the three of us that there’s always a price to pay,” Ratio answered as he routinely pressed his calloused thumbs into the divet of Aventurine’s bare hips, speaking with a sadistic grin that made things all the worse. “I mean, this is what you wanted, right, gambler?”

“Besides,” Sunday spoke, licking the shell of his ear while his cum-soaked palm continued to rub Aventurine senseless, “mr. Ratio and I were only working for your pleasure. It’s time you do your share for us, right?” He chuckled, making Aventurine’s eyes roll inside his skull.

“Hold still, little peacock. For the night is still too short…”

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail tickling #aventurine #sunday #dr ratio #aventurine x sunday x ratio #lee!aventurine #ticklish!aventurine #ler!dr ratio #ler!sunday #n$fw #spicy #tickle fic #collabs #aventio #ratiorine #sunturine #avenday

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changbinsboobs · 3 months ago

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Can you please do Stray kids, what physical traits they look for and how would they act around they crush 👀please and thank you if you have done it

Hi:) i just posted a reading on physical traits💗

I also have a reading on skz on how they are when they have a crush but its more focused on their internal state of being, so I'm gonna do a separate one on their specific, outwards behavior towards their crush specifically! Enjoy💗

I'll be using the 3rd Eye Tarot and remember :

*This reading is for entertainment purposes only!

How would stray kids behave around their crush?

Chan - The High Priestess, Page of Cups

He mimics his crush a lot. Like not in a mean way or intentional. Yk this psychology fact that we unintentionally mimic our crushes or people we like/admire, cuz we want them to like us too. I think he's doing that A LOT unconsciously but for the person on the other side i think its pretty obvious, pretty quickly😂

I also think that he would try and change himself a bit. Like his appearance or his likes and dislikes - according to his crush. I think it would be unconscious tho. Not like he thinks "oh she likes guys with blue hair so im gonna dye my hair blue". Its more like his crushes opinion just influences him a lot. Other than that im not seeing much i think he just matches his crushes energy and i wanna say pace too, but im unsure. So just leave it at he matches his crush😂 and he kinda copys them. Whatever his crushes behaviour is to him, that would be his behaviour to them.

Lee Know - Ace of Wands, 6 of Cups

He's normal and nurturing. I don't think his crush would think he's flirting with them, they would just think that he's really kind and helpful and has a big heart to give love and care from. So his approach isn't very demanding(?). Like whatever he does for his crush, u can feel he doesn't do it cuz he expects something in return, but because he genuinely likes them and wants them to be good.

I also see him making some advances but like...ugh idk, like his crush can't really tell if its flirting or if he's just a touchy person or if his humor's just a little perverted. Like what im seeing is a few perverted comments and an evil smile or something😂 and i think his crush would be a bit confused at that but not really take it as a sign of flirting or interest towards them. (Btw the 6 of Cups has already come a few times in his readings! He's definitely a very nurturing person!!!)

Changbin - 9 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, Queen of Cups

Changbin of course had the most cards😂 he had so many cards (7 in total) im too lazy to write them all up there, so im just gonna write the 3 most significant ones. Also this is something i notice a lot with his readings he almost always has the most cards cuz i keep feeling theres more he wants to say, and that he's not done yet, so i keep drawing more and more. Then when i look at them i have 9 cards and 3 if them say thing A, 3 say thing B and 3 say thing C😂 like...my guy you could've just let me say all that in 3 cards m, why'd u make me work so much😂 i feel like its very important to him to describe the details and to explain everything the best way he can so that he does not get misunderstood. And details for him are very meaningful and actually very big, so he pays lots of attention to that and finds it important and wants it to be clear to the readers as well (or whoever's listening)

Sooo he tries to put himself in a good light. Like put his macho on, his gentlemanness, act nonchalant and poised(?), flex his wealthyness a little😂 (i love reading this😂💗)

But at the same time i see him being plagued by his thoughts an fears (literary the same cards as the previous crush reading came on) and thus why i feel like he would be giving mixed signals. Like being awkward one second, avoiding his crush, going out of their way, barely responding, barely having eye contact. To being stern and cold, acting almost as he doesn't like them or is angry at them or something. To being so genuinely kind and welcoming and i see even going for some slight, friendly skinship. To being boastful and slightly flirty again😂 its a rollercoaster i think every time his crush would be getting a different changbin. And maybe not even on different occasions. Maybe they can get 3 different version in one day alone.😂 poor girl.

I also see him having a hot-cold streak in his verbal communication too. Like one minute he's mimicking them (like chan), the other he's jokingly mocking them, annoying them, trying to get them a bit agitated and triggered even😂 he wants to get a reaction out of her. (God i think next time ill leave changbin's reading for last, every time im doing him i get so exhausted and i hope im already at the end of the reading (the whole post), but im not even halfway cuz he's so far up🥲. Now i did him first cuz he had so much cards, and now i wann cry cuz i have ti do 7 more guys🥲)

Hyunjin - Temperance, 10 of Wands

I think he's pretty calm around his crush. Tbh i don't see him making any impression of that kind. I think his mind is way too preoccupied to actually do something.

He might seem clumsy. Stutter, make weird sentences, have s bit if weird facial expressions. All of that is i feel whenever he gets into close contact with his crush. If u look at him from afar he's calm and collected and cool and poised. But if you come up close and actually converse with him he would be rally awkward.

Han - 5 of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune

Ughh...a bit of a looser i fear. Like he's behavior would be very off putting. Like those pick me guys😭 ugh im getting such an ick.

He would be mostly like that, but every once in a while would have a moment where he shines and suddenly gets a boost of confidence and just is being himself and them he does so so well. Rally well! But that doesn't last long sadly and he becomes a pick me shortly after once again.🥲

Felix - 7 of Cups, King of Cups

Proactive. Isn't afraid to approach them. Just shamelessly goes up there and gives them a compliment, makes small talk, ask for a number or a date or whatever. I would say he's pretty smooth but he actually isnt😅 but it doesn't really matter cuz even if his approach isn't smooth, his energy is, and lots of people perceive only that. His overwhelming energy of confidence.

He might think a lot of them and give them small random gifts he thinks they will like, or that reminded him of him. Each time he gets the opportunity to be close to them again and talk to them.

Seungmin - The Emperor, Queen if Pentacles

Very helpful, very initiative, very supportive. He immediately shows how reliable he is. He proves his seriousness and that he's not in it just for the game but for a purpose.

Very stable and straight forward with his feelings and intentions.

Shows patience and doesn't pressure his crush all too much. Just leaves them in peace to warm up to him, while continuously showing up and being there. Reminding her of his high quality and value.

I.N - 3 of Wands, 4 of Pentacles

Straight forward with his feelings and pursuing. I think he's someone that as soon as he realizes he has a crush he goes over there to confess😂 brave guy that one!

He's very possessive of his crush even if they aren't together yet snd i think he would often show that in some ways, like wanting to walk beside her, wanting to take care of her, to answer her questions, to buy her food or other stuff. He doesn't want her to do those stuff by herself or even worse to ask other men about it. Or even allow other men to do that for her. Who are they to allow themselves that😂 only he can take care of her!!!😤😂

#tarot reading #skz #stray kids #kpop #bang chan #lee felix #seo changbin #lee know #hyunjin #han jisung #seungmin #i.n #chan #tarot #crush

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tumblweeds-omegaverse · 4 months ago

Text

omegaverse thought:

even in settings where alphas are dominant, it could be well known that there are certain scenarios where omegas are not to be crossed. not if you value your peace of mind. or various pieces of your body.

force your way into an omega's nest? you fool. you absolute nugget. that omega will turn from happy purring to a whirlwind of deadly claws and rending teeth faster than you can say "oh f-"

put a hand on a nursing omega's pup without knowing it's fine? "there are no alphas around, its fine." lol. lmao even. as if the alpha can save you from an omega that's protecting their pup. you should know better, idiot.

"how dare that omega not cater to my request specifically! i'm the most important person in the room!" do you want rumors spread about you? are you doing a "never get a date again" speedrun? cause that's where you're headed.

just...omegaverse settings where you ignore the power of omegas at your own peril. including settings where "you fight like an omega" says something about focus or determination.

(used omegas for the example here, but I'm very in support of this applying to betas as well! regardless to if you give your betas unique traits or not, they're still people. still members of a species whose greatest abilities include creativity, endurance, and social bonds.

a single asshole alpha can and should have their life ruined by a group of driven betas with the desire to do so. the less likely it looks, the more interesting it gets!)

#omegaverse #omegaverse headcanons #a/b/o headcanons #twovvie chatters #i just think its neat #to explore the power of those who lack obvious power #or who have knowledge or wisdom that's commonly overlooked #me? i'm skipping to the part where everyone respects each other's unique abilities #mostly cause of a disinterest in properly writing the struggle for dynamic/gender equality #especially since it looks different in a setting with twice as many combos #only 1 setting i'm working on is like that #but still #admittedly there are equality issues but more caused by stereotypes and outdated laws/beliefs #rather than specific groups being seen as second class citizens

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battry-acid · 3 months ago

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From your recent piece with Colossus in it, I would love you to elaborate on the autism mention!!

If it’s a hc, I love it, I have never thought of it before and it just makes a lot of sense

absolutely!!! apologies for the incoming ramble

yes it's only a headcanon, not actually canon (for now). i've always related to colossus both as a neurodivergent person and as an artist due to how it's easiest for him to communicate his feelings through art, and how he otherwise normally struggles with words. that is the main reason i view him as autistic, among many other reasons. the many other reasons are listed below!

<< DISCLAIMER: when i talk about x-men characters, unless i'm specifying a particular IP/media, just assume i'm talking about the original run of the all-new all-different uncanny x-men comics and how the characters are portrayed there. 1975-1990 is the sweet spot. that is the "source material" to me, the blueprint of what roles those characters are made to serve and what their most prominent traits are. yay >>

1. COMMUNICATES BEST THROUGH ART

piotr specifically says "my pencil can create far better pictures of this land...than my poor words." in "prison of the heart" (this story appears in vol 1 issue 5 of classic x-men as it was cut from the original run of UXM. it takes place between issues 97 and 98). yet he still calls his drawings "not very good". he thinks he's terrible at communicating no matter how he tries to do so.

to summarize in the story, he falls in love with a fellow russian immigrant with an artistic heart named anya. he expresses his affection by giving her a drawing of her performing, "from my heart to yours". it is the purest way he can express how he feels.

and yet, it doesn't work out. he protects her by turning into colossus, a show of his care for her, and she runs from him in fear.

this sequence makes my heart EXPLODE. mfw autistic people get called heartless all the time for struggling with empathy

the way he talks and acts as colossus is entirely different to how he talks and acts as piotr. it's obvious by how quickly his voice dies in his throat when returning to his unarmoured state. he was boasting such confidence in armoured form, and when it's over....all that confidence is gone. this is the purest example of how he switches between confident and quiet, protected and sensitive, physically and emotionally between forms.

from then on, he's afraid of himself, and more afraid to express himself. he continues to hide his art and he avoids forming stronger bonds with anyone other than fellow x-men, and even that is hard for him. he has intense rejection sensitivity (like meee) and i think he has incredibly high levels of empathy (LIKE MEEE) which is as much an autistic trait as low levels of empathy are. he cares so much, he cares so much it hurts, so he has to protect himself.

it is a common theme with the characterization of piotr that his powers are defense, they are to protect himself and others. he needs to protect his sensitive heart. so large, so compassionate, but so fragile. he may be able to protect himself from physical harm in his armoured state, but he cannot protect himself from emotional harm no matter what he does. he still has his weaknesses, impenetrable skin or no.

2. STRUGGLES IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS

when he gets another chance at romance in "first love" (classic x-men vol 1 issue 21, also in UXM issue 115) he is afraid. he says that he is afraid repeatedly and uhhh there's a lot of things that happen in that story that i am going to avoid talking about right now (it has triggering content and is recognized as a problematic portrayal of indigenous pacific islanders. boy oh boy do i hate the savage land. i may talk about this more in depth at another time if somebody wants me to!) it's like, yay, they don't judge him for being a mutant, or for being afraid!!! but at what cost (bad things happen to him)

and this is, of course, not the only instances of piotr having issues with romance. he seems to constantly experience issues in relationships due to his insecurities, rejection sensitivity, and (very reasonable imo) fears. he has as much trouble expressing his affections for someone as he does verbalizing his discomfort in others' advances towards him. because even when he has said no in the past, some have not listened to him. so he chooses to stay silent. I ALSO HAVE HAD THESE ISSUES!!! it can be so hard being in relationships (romantic or otherwise) as an autistic person, it can be so hard learning effective ways to communicate, it can be so hard constantly fighting to be treated like a person. that's what he feels like to me. he does make progress over time, but it's difficult for him, and he never truly masters it.

3. HAS HIS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

there's also the entire aspect of piotr of being a bit oblivious at times. sometimes it's to depict him as a younger member of the group with less experience, or as the russian who doesn't understand american customs, or just simply a guy off in his own world that only snaps back to reality when he has to focus on a fight. he ain't the leader for a reason, he's a follower type of guy. my favourite thing ever is when they talk about him like he isn't there and he's just "?"

i don't know why they repeatedly depict piotr as just "❓" red question mark emoji personified but i never want it to stop. i actually adore it

but just being a little oblivious isn't enough sometimes. sometimes they gotta push it. sometimes he's portrayed as being so stupid that he can't even count!!! love to see it! (/s) people looove to insult his intelligence. people looove to call him an idiot both in and out of canon. don't that just remind you of somethin? of having your intelligence questioned all the time solely based on how you act?

you see this struggle to advocate for himself, or being a bit naïve in his hopes for another person, in every single depiction of piotr. or, at least, every single accurately characterized depiction of piotr. in as long drawn-out plot points of piotr feeling as though he can't join the x-men in x-men: evolution, from as small instances of deadpool grabbing his ass in the deadpool movies and him clearly being kind of uncomfortable but giving up on trying to sway wade, you see him struggle to verbalize how he feels. he always says nothing. he's called the strong but silent type for a reason.

4. PREFERS TO PLAY IT BY THE BOOK

on a different note, we get to see how much he loves rules and schedules and routines. he is definitely a goody two-shoes at times in terms of how inclined he is to follow the rules no matter what, usually because that's what he thinks xavier wants him to do. it takes encouragement for him to want to do something other than what he understands to be the socially acceptable thing to do.

just one mere example of his nature to follow the rules:

this one panel is single-handedly one of the best representations of how the three of them interact with each other and what makes them such a fun trouple

there's so many more examples i could point out, but it can all be summarized simply by the fact that he is always a follower, never a leader. he doesn't like to make the rules, he just likes to follow them. he likes to have a clear idea of what he is expected and supposed to do, and can easily be directed in ways that benefit others the most. i love being told what to do if it means i get to help other people!!! it's so much easier having someone tell me what to do and clearly communicate what is expected of me instead of playing this constant social guessing game i always find myself in.

IN CONCLUSION...

so he's kind of unobservant, emotionally illiterate, rule-oriented, experiences empathy at an abnormal level, and expresses himself best in artistic ways. so what, you may ask? that's hardly enough evidence to be autistic. make him take the RAADS, you fool. and to that, i say....y'know what, fair, you don't have to agree with me, but also i don't care and he's autistic and yay yippee yippee i love colossus so much yaaay he's autistic just like me :D!!!

i have so many feelings about piotr. can you tell x-men has been my special interest since i was 8 years old?

<< also yes i know there is a kitty-sized elephant in the room. if someone sends an ask for me to do so, i may talk about my feelings on her relationship with piotr at some point. that is a whole other can of worms >>

#thank you for reading my x-men essay. x-say? sure #ask answered #feel free to ask me more stuff!!!#i love writing a manifesto of why one of my comfort characters is autistic #piotr rasputin #colossus x men #colossus #x men #uncanny x men #uxm #x men comics #FASTBALL TRIPLE #my headcanons #autistic headcanon #autism #audhd #neurodivergent

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isa-ghost · 10 months ago

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Any specifically avian related qphil headcanons? I love that Phil being a bit more birdy is canon in the qsmp but whenever we get lore about it its angst

/I don't know why I'm asking if you have any, I know you got them /

*cupping my hands together and holding them out*

/give em here/

/pretty pleasee/

Oh fuck yeah man. I have an angel OC based off Phil, I've got PLENTY of avian headcanons >:)

Previous Headcanon Sets (x8)

MORE: Avian Edition

I've stated it in a prev set I think, but if you put this man in water his wings will sometimes involuntarily flap like he's in a birdbath. It's somewhat of a stim, bird brain just goes "you gotta."

I've also stated before that when he's stressed, his wings will flap kinda like the way someone might nervously shake out their hands.

Another restate, sometimes his laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles.

Another restate, sometimes his echolalia is his bird brain mimicking a sound he heard if it scratches an itch.

Yknow what just skim the previous headcanon sets I linked bc I talk so much about his wings & what he does with them & how he communicates using them. All those apply here.

Obligatory mirror and windows struggles mention.

Obligatory molting & preening struggles when stressed mention.

We've all seen the way he perches above everyone. It's probably his most prominent/noticeable avian trait.

Apparently camomile calms birds down. If this fool liked hot drinks, he'd have another way to settle his anxiety.

His obsession with noodles got him accused by Tubbo of enjoying them bc bird brain likes worms. He was NOT pleased. Almost gagged.

As long as you're careful around his wings, he LOVES back rubs. (It's bc the dumbass mf slept in that damn chair too much so now his back riots)

DO NOT THE WINGS. Petting them is one thing, he loves when Lullah hugs them, he thinks it's cute. But omg do not dig your fingers into his feathers. They're very sensitive. And that could mean tickling OR pain.

However if you gently do it, his wings will spread a little and his feathers poof up, which is kinda funny. It's like how if you touch a cat's foot the right way, their toes will spread out to present The Beans(tm). Blessed.

He likes to gift his shedded feathers to people he trusts. Chayanne, Lullah & Missa each have one. Although he's extremely close with Etoiles and Fit, he feels too awkward to give one to them yet. Feels a little too intimate.

Gift giving in general is a HUGE part of his love language though. Crow brain must give shiny things to people he loves yesyes.

Bird zoomies!! Wings poof up, he starts hopping all over the place like a big dork. He'd fly all over too, if he could.

Bobs his head to music. Those videos of pet birds dancing? That's Phil babey!!

Another one of his fave bits is pretending to understand and have a full-on conversation with birds. Loves pretending to gossip with them right in front of the person he & the bird(s) are "gossiping" about. However the crows he DOES understand & gossip with.

When he can fly, he's an expert at dive-bombing targets like a bird of prey. It's TERRIFYING. And very attractive depending on who you are (*cough* Missa *cough*)

Lullah once tried to test if throwing a blanket over his head would make him fall asleep like how if you put a blanket over a bird's cage they'll think it's night time and go to bed. It didn't work. He was very confused.

Birds whenever they're happy to see you will stretch their wings out like "Hello yes!" Phil do happy wing stretches when he see the kids :D

His hearing and eyesight are fucking amazing. The only reason he's able to be snuck up on is bc he hyperfocuses on things or the things that sneak up on him are super fast.

Rare Isa Fluffy Headcanon: He make blanket nests.

When stressed or overwhelmed, he'll wrap his wings around himself or raise them to shield his head. He doesn't do this so much after his wings were clipped & injured. They hurt too much.

100% will spread his wings all the way out (when they aren't hurting a lot) to look more threatening towards enemies. They almost autopilot do it when he's angry, but if they hurt too much they'll stop. He's pissed they don't look as threatening after The Federation clipped his wings

#qsmp #qsmp philza #q!philza #philza #qphil headcanons

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ryuichirou · 2 months ago

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Which twst characters do you and katsu relate to the most or which match your personalities the most?

Oh Anon, you have no idea how excited I am about your ask… Because I already had the pleasure of agonising over this question a year ago, but Katsu didn’t! Now it’s Katsu’s turn to be uncomfortable and vulnerable! So I am as pumped to read this post as you are to be honest lol

I’ll still give you a TL;DR about my situation first though, in case you don’t want to read my old post: I relate to a lot of characters in for a lot of reasons (I think all of us do), and I definitely named a lot of boys lol But those who I have the most kinship with are probably Kalim, Rook, Ortho, Sebek, Azul, Lilia. I mentioned a couple of other guys in my old post, but they either have one specific trait that I find very relatable, or wishful thinking lol

If I had to pick three that I feel second-hand embarrassment from because of recognising some of my traits in their bullshit, I’d say it’s Kalim, Azul and Sebek. What a combination, I know. But my reasoning from the linked post is still the same….

But also! You know what? There is one addition to the list I’d like to make. I think it’s time to admit that I also want to strangle Trey from time to time because of how similar his attitude feels. I don’t think that I as much of a people-pleaser as I used to be when I was a teen, but there are still moments when I catch myself thinking “I don’t even want to bother with that, it’s easier to give them a non-answer and keep my actual opinion to myself”. This + a bunch of other corny and stupid shit argGghhhh wait do I hate Trey Clover? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Alright, I’m done lol Thank you for your question! Now for the Katsu’s part:

Katsu:

I’m about to make this post 100 times more awkward with my list lol There’s practically no difference in both of your description, so I’ll treat them interchangeably, Anon, as you probably intended.

I asked for Ryu’s assistance for these explanations because my mind went blank when I sat down to write them.

Also, I’m sorry I wrote so much 😱 I wanted to explain everyone to some extent and it seems I can’t shut up... I’m also very sorry if I sound very entitled. It’s surprisingly hard to write something like this, and I end up sounding like I’m constantly sucking my own dick with “look at how cool I am”. This is very embarrassing, please don’t read this post.

I’m a very generic bitch, so my most relatable/similar character is Idia, like he is for a lot of other people. He has it all: our takes on a lot of things is similar, including the nasty ones; apparently, we’re both good at reading other people’s character; he’s very cynical and has a negative outlook on life; the way we view certain things; our priority for quality time and spending it with those we care about; all the teasing and rude things that he does I actually do as well; our... ehh independence of our views?? idk how to say this better, just coming to conclusions on our own instead of taking the most popular option; Ryu thinks I’m smart (I’m not, and I’m especially not a tech genius and I’m actually bad at playing videogames), but I’d rather name it swings between “I’m a genius” and “I’m shit”, this constant desire to be as objective as possible even when referring to yourself while acknowledging subjective opinions when they’re unavoidable; our relationship with people is terrible in a similar way; the way he puts others down and then himself as well is sometimes word for word what I’ve said to Ryu for all those years we’ve known each other, so self-criticism; our love for art and anime in particular, though I don’t watch or read much anymore; his social... everything, his fear of interactions, his confidence in other people judging him all the time and thinking he’s cringe; his attempts to disappear and go unnoticed; the fact he gives up before even trying a lot of times. I can go on and on... It’s easier to tell where we’re different – I’m not that bold online, I just silently lurk; my internet slang is lackluster at best; I don’t play games that much and I’m not a huge fan of multiplayer games... which might seem nitpicky, but I consider it to be an important part of his personality. I feel like I’ve just tried to describe Idia instead of explaining anything lol Sorry

Jamil is also very relatable, he’s pretty similar to Idia personality wise (at least some of the qualities I mentioned), so I won’t repeat myself in terms of his personality. He’s also tired from everyone’s bullshit. Jamil’s desire for travelling and his love for calm times where everything around is quiet should be mentioned. He has to babysit Kalim, and sometimes I have to do something similar – nobody asks me to, but all this micromanagement that he does for Kalim like organising perfect conditions for him, making sure that everything’s right and being prepared to unpredictable events, although I’m not as consistent as Jamil in this regard. I’m the one to buy tickets, book places, come up with routes, make sure nothing’s forgotten, figure out at what time happens what, where to buy this and that thing, how to get to some place, and other things like that. It’s not like Ryu can’t do this stuff (except for getting somewhere, this bitch has no sense for directions), I just don’t allow it a lot of times lol We don’t want accidents. Ryu also sometimes gets praised for things that I do, that can be super annoying, that’s why I hate it when Ryu tries to brag about me.

Vil... gets a similar reaction from me as he does from Epel. I’d hate to know him irl, although a lot of points he makes are actually very true. He holds himself and others to a very high standard which is what I also do, but we do it in different areas. We both workout, although I’m nowhere near his routine or his diet, of course, but the discipline aspect of it is important. The most similar thing is our passion for True Art, the way we view it, the way we approach it, and the way we understand how audience works. Our love for cinema, I watch a lot of movies, but I’m not a nerd when it comes to them. I’m not a film bro- oh wait I actually am. The more you know. Also, all the movies Ryu watches usually come from me.

Ace – the entire first book, from the moment he got a cauldron dropped on him (before that I wanted to punch him). He’s somewhat chill, he doesn’t like anyone’s bs and he hates rules that don’t make sense. He’s relaxed to a certain degree (sometimes too much lol), and the things he appreciate in relationships (both friendly and romantic) are the same for me. Our love for fun stuff, to a certain degree for me though, but not the same level of irresponsibility, as I’m usually the one to chicken out and bail. Not always, though! Ace also gets a grasp of things quickly, but forgets them just as fast.

Floyd – the desire to tease/bully serious people is too strong 😔 Plus, extreme mood swings with losing interest, but these are not nearly as common as his. Sometimes you have tons of fun, and then a second later, in an instant, you lose the spark.

Malleus – we just like to wander somewhere... his love for ruins, but I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t like them or their aesthetics lol His isolation, and Ryu says the way we say/ask/do things sometimes is similar. Also most based overblot reason ever (same for Idia and Vil though). I’d probably be able to point out his character traits better if we saw book 7, but that’s it for now.

Epel – he hates girly stuff lmao His toxic masculinity is relatable for my teen years, and the way his speech is impolite (in my case, I just swear a lot though). He’s somewhat of a slow learner and he cringes from doing cute and girly stuff.

Deuce – he is so adorable... ahem. The way he struggles with learning is relatable, and the feeling when you put yourself fully into something and still fail. I managed to get great/normal marks, but the amount of knowledge I actually have is laughable. Deuce is very earnest, me too, in some ways, but I’m not nearly as proactive as he is. I wouldn’t bother.

Leona – sometimes I get bored in the middle of the day and go to sleep lol Usually it happens when Ryu’s around and draws something, and we have only one desk, so there’s nothing for me to do. Leona’s also lazy. That’s the entire reason Leona is on this list.

#replies

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ceasarslegion · 7 months ago

Note

wait, now im really interested in the silica gel drama. how did hlrp sex ed lead to eating a gel packet?

This is going to require a novel's length of context.

To begin, I want to underline that this is not meant to be a callout post, and I will not be providing any identifying traits that could be used to single this person out. The most you will get out of that are she/her pronouns, and her age at the time this happened, which was years ago, and I will not specify what year. I genuinely do hope she got the help she needed after this, because LORD knows she needs it and didn't find it at home. This is also not meant to be a character assassination, nor should anybody who reads this post consider it to be a takedown of any sort, and if you try to find this person through me or any of our mutual friends, you will not be met with kind words. The only thing this is meant to be is a wild-ass story of some of the most off the wall experiences I personally had with this person from my specific side of the story, with a few no-username screenshots attached to prove I am not bullshitting you.

With that in mind, let's get started. This is going to be very long, so I'm throwing in a read more

Back when I was in uni, I joined a growing group of Half Life roleplay blogs. The whole idea of our group was that we each chose a character, canon or OC, and we would blog as if the pre-Black Mesa incident moment in the timeline was a workplace comedy a la The Office or Superstore. I played Barney, because I was already working night shift security at this point and thought it would be funny. Plus, it gave me something to do that wasn't staring at CCTV feeds all night tossing a ball against the wall. We played off of each other very well, yes-anding our way through funny little situations and plotlines we put together. At one point we had roleplayed enough that one of the scientist rpers created a discord server for us to talk as the actual people we are instead of through characters.

Great idea at the time. None of us saw the "Pandora's box" label on the tin before we opened it. Would I still join it if I knew what was about to transpire? Yes, because I met my boyfriend and many genuinely lovely friends through it. Would I hesitate for a second first, though, as the events that are about to transpire flashed before my eyes? Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.

We started off as many fandom servers do: chill for the most part, very loud minority of a few assholes who ruined it for the rest of us, but unlike most fandom servers, we actually won and it ended in them getting banned and the server itself surviving to this day. But the other two lunatics are not who you came here for. You want the christian lunatic.

Let's give her a nickname to make this easier. I have the Sylveon build a bear on my PC desk. Let's call her Syl.

Syl was not there for Half Life, she was there for Portal. She LOVED Portal, Half Life was just part of the same universe for her. Portal wasn't just a game for her, it was her entire personality. Which I didn't see much of an issue with at the time, because she said she was 15. Whatever, I thought; she'll learn to control her emotional attachment to things as she gets older. Syl also said that she was christian. I am a flaming atheist who doesn't even believe in the concept of a soul in comparison and I am NOT the biggest fan of christianity as an institution to put it mildly, but I'm not gonna like, be a dick to you for your personal religion if you are not a dick about my beliefs, so I didn't think much of it at the time.

It quickly became apparent that Syl looked up to me more than any of the other adults in the group the more I would talk about my life growing up as a third culture kid and moving out on my own at 19, working 2 jobs and going to a good university. She would ask me a lot about growing up and uni and moving out and yes, sex ed, and it became even more apparent that she didn't get any actual guidance from her parents or pastors or ANYBODY beyond bible studies and homeschooling, so I kinda stumbled into a mentorship role in her life. I wasn't cold, but I was aware of the age and maturity difference between us and established the appropriate boundaries with her and made it very clear that I am an internet friend, not an irl friend or an educator, but if no one else was going to give her information that wasn't actively harmful then fuck, I guess SOMEONE had to do it. I could not in good conscience watch some kid go through life with harmful inaccuracies about the world and basic human biology when I could have done something about it, y'know?

And the more things I taught her about the real world and how things actually work rather than how her republican bible-thumping rural town said they did, the more I realized she was born into a full-blown cult under the guise of a christian congregation. Oh goody, I had my work cut out for me. I will not get into the details of how messed up this group was because it will be a dead giveaway of where she lives and potentially who she is, but let's just say that one time I said that I appreciated the gesture of praying for me during a stressful week I was having but it didn't really do anything for my mental health because I was an atheist, and she sent me a bunch of bible verses begging me to start believing and said "I just don't want you to go to hell because you're so nice :((" EXCUSE ME??? Another time she said that death was only sad for non-christians because their loved ones were in hell and that proper christians deaths were a good thing because they were in heaven now. Hi, that's the most insensitive death cult shit I've ever heard in my goddamn life.

Okay, set up is done. All of these details will tie in like the world's worst reboot of Pulp Fiction, I prommy.

After a good long while learning about the world from me (which like... a uni kid working night shift security is not exactly an academic source but we take what we can get) and exposure to viewpoints outside of her in-group, Syl began that very painful journey of realizing that what the cult taught you was a lie. Except that she just wasn't grasping that unlearning things was an active process. She started to flip to the opposite side very quickly, but kept all the fundamental brainwashing of the cult that raised her. The concepts were all the same, just slapped a different label on them. This created a noticeable pull between two sides of the same personality: the cult personality, and the person beyond the cult who wanted to break free. Mix that with how fucking 15 years old every 15 year old is, and you have a LETHAL concoction just waiting to blow up at the first sign of a spark.

Remember how I said that Portal was her whole personality? Syl decided that she wanted to be a scientist, and go into an ivy league program like I was in (I was in a SOCIAL science, but sure). Problem was, she didn't have the grades or the ambition, really. I had told her that I still got into an ivy league when I failed math in high school, and she seemed to completely miss the part where I said that I also joined every extra-curricular, then worked for 2 gap years for recognized institutions, and wrote an essay about why my math grade is not relevant to my program. I did it with one bad grade, so she was justified in basically just slacking off and then excusing it with "but its haaarrrdd" when we'd tell her she needs to put the fucking work in NOW if that's what she wants to do.

It quickly derailed from here. Not only was she going to be a scientist, she was going to be like Cave Johnson. And she was going to... replace her body with robot parts so she could be like glados. I don't... think she actually knew what science is, because she would just publically fantasize about running unethical experiments on people in the name of "science," and talk about how one day she wants to basically establish aperture labs for real. All of us who were there kind of agree that we don't think she was joking based on what we knew about her and the cadence of her tone. Here's something she said at the time to give you an idea of what direction she was nosediving in:

This was after a session with her therapist where said therapist said that she definitely has some kind of personality disorder, after which she was weirdly proud of having one and treated it like a badge of honour.

Syl then made a separate group chat for all the best friends she made on the server. There was her, me, @false-pyre, and @imtheaura. She titled it "My Family," despite the fact that we were all adults and she was 15 and she only knew us over a discord half life server where one person in it stepped up to somewhat equip her for real life outside of a cult. Regardless though that GC was more the vibe of a group of friends sharing memes and chatting about the day than the wider server was at the time. The others began to also take on a sort of mentorship role towards her as well, because that's kind of inevitable when you get someone talking about teenager problems in a room full of adults who all made the same mistakes before in their own lives. Well, minus the cult.

And remember how I said that she didn't unlearn any of the cult shit? Well, there was a lot of proselytizing. She decided she wasn't christian for a spell, but still wanted us and everyone to know that jesus was the lord and savior and we had to accept him or we'd burn in hell. Usually said after we'd make some joke about satan being daddy or declaring ourselves god instead, because that is just the type of humor the others and i have with each other. She took it so personally whenever one of us would go "oh my god" "you called?" it was fucking annoying. I lost count of the amount of lectures she gave us, all of which I'd shut down and tell her to get a grip about because I have a big stupid mouth.

The others and I also like to talk about evolution, and speculate about where we're going from here. My fucking god, did she not like that. She bit our heads off about how evolution isn't real and god made everyone as we are and there's no scientific evidence or whatever the hell. Like yeah good luck getting into STEM with that mindset. Whenever we pointed out that she was objectively wrong about that, she'd have a big stupid meltdown about how much we're slandering god and how jesus died for us and we're spitting in his face or whatever. He should spit in MY face inste-*GUNSHOT*

Eventually, we were making some actual progress with her. She was still one fry short of a happy meal and going off about how much she wanted to put living subjects in test tubes in between knocking on our doors and reciting Hello from the Book of Mormon musical, but we were getting somewhere. And then she went back to in person school, and her favourite teacher got fired.

The schoolboard did not say why she got fired, but we all had our suspicions that it was because she openly supported queer rights in a cult town. She was coincidentally retired shortly after making a declaration that queer people are still welcome in god's kingdom. This teacher was the first in person adult Syl had for guidance, so that incident shook her to her core, and she fell right back into the extremism. Hook, line, and sinker, even more extreme than before.

She was WEIRD that week, man. Suddenly everything was about how great god was, how amazing jesus was. Suddenly she understood why her cult member parents "just wanted to protect her" from gay characters on disney+ originals. Suddenly no one could say "jesus christ lol" around her or she'd have a fit. I said "I hate cycle counts lmao i wanna kms" because my then-job (I had graduated at this point) made me do inventory management spontaneously and wouldn't let me go home until I had counted every product in the store, and she bit my head off accusing me of turning suicide into a joke.

It was that incident that made us tell her to knock it off already, that we understood it was a hard week for her and she was in a period of grief, but that is no excuse for how she had been acting towards everyone around her that wasnt christian, and that she was actively relapsing. I'll let the exchange speak for itself:

So uh. After years of helping Syl through this she goes and pulls this bullshit. And then has the fucking AUDACITY to act like nothing ever happened in the wider server. I am genuinely gobsmacked by the balls on her to act like it was all sunshine and rainbows in the wider server after sending this and immediately leaving the same GC SHE made and titled "My Family" just because we told her to stop acting like a goddamn Jonestown citizen after all the work we'd put in to get her out of that mentality at this point.

So I dragged her up in front of everyone and essentially said "no, nuh uh, you don't get to say that shit to the people who have lost sleep and asked for nothing in return trying to help you escape a cult over the last 2 years and then act like we're all buddy buddy to everybody else. You don't get to be that arrogant and self-righteous without any consequences. I don't give a fuck how young you are, you DON'T treat the people who have helped you this much like that, you selfish little shit. How dare you treat us like this after all we've done for you over the years."

Unfortunately, no one involved had surviving screenshots of this, but they can back me up on it if they so choose. And oh boy, DID she face the consequences of her own actions. The whole server basically turned their heads and went "what the FUCK is wrong with you, Syl??" and asked her to at least like, apologize. She proceeded to double down with the added audacity of "you guys taught me how to establish healthy boundaries, that's all I'm doing right now :(( oh woe is me :(((" like WOW, okay. Someone's really going for the persecution complex.

Here's her last goodbye to us all before the mass block fest occured:

Oh, boohoo. You're so hard done by. You spat in the faces of everyone who stayed up all night multiple times helping you through crises and spent the last 2 years teaching you about how the world really worked and then they asked you to apologize after you tried to escape accountability. You truly are god's strongest soldier, the most persecuted minority in the world. Let me play you an ode to how righteous and holy you are and how this was the most important hill to sacrifice all your outsider friendships on on the world's smallest violin.

Syl then went on to post on her roleplay blog that she "was banned because I spoke up for what was right, and they didn't like that" before deleting it. Truly no one has suffered as much as you.

Anyway, the day after that went down, I called in from work, bought this book, and read the whole thing purely out of spite:

It was greatly therapeutic. After that incident, I vowed to never sanitize my own atheistic beliefs for the benefit of others again. If they don't like them, they don't have to talk to me. But I am not changing them for other people or keeping them quiet just to spare your feelings anymore, I have as much a right to my beliefs as anyone else does, including the world's most persecuted minority here.

And well, the silica gel incident?

There was one incident, during the height of Syl's "I am the irl cave johnson and only want to get into STEM to conduct unethical experiments on people. follow jesus" era, the rest of us were joking about how silica gel packets are the ultimate forbidden snack, and said "haha would eating it make you see shrimp colours" knowing full well it can kill you.

Syl proceeded to actually eat a silica gel packet and then send in "it has a sandy texture and tastes bad" prompting the rest of us to go "WE WERE FUCKING JOKING FIND YOUR POISON CONTROL HOTLINE RIGHT NOW"

And because i didnt get this done until now, I'll tag everyone who said they wanted to read this or expressed interest: @captainjonnitkessler @formydarlingtoread @cra-zwizard @chasingnightrainbows

#ramblings #what do i even tag this

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snakegills · 5 days ago

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Rambling about my fortnite fic (you're a king among the thieves) under the cut. Ignore or read i don't care

Idk if I've mentioned this but the title for this fic is from a song called Midas Touch by AURORA. The full line being "Midas, my dear/No wonder why you're scared/You're a king among the thieves/And your world belongs to me"

Like... cmon i had to! The placeholder title (Ghost's that don't know they are dead) is a line from devil house by John darnielle. Cool as fuck but it was always intended to be changed. Oh so I'm gonna jump right in now

So when it comes to characters like Montague saying that there is very little information about him is an understatement. It's been a bit so don't quote me but I'm pretty sure this freak has ONE line of dialog. Lucky for me characters like this are my specialty!

First off to build a character for what is essentially just a Skin In Fortnite I looked at basically everything epic released relating to him. Any blurb I could find on the society, every item description in his set, every item description in the OTHER society members set, and all the dialog from other society members. There really isn't too much canon that is gleaned from all this, mainly he's French and in charge. So from there i start to make logical connections.

Such as, looking at his character model gives you a lot of insight for what the designers want you to pick up on! For instance, Montague has a prominent eye scar, dual toned hair, and different colored eyes. The scars tell an obvious story, at some point he was injured. From there it can extrapolate that IF he has an eye injury and different colored eyes then one of those eyes could be fake. From there it can create a backstory for that injury, how he lost it, why he lost it, and what it means for him now.

Furthermore, in Montague's loading screen he's driving the society whiplash away from a trailsmasher. It's actually a nice piece of art work and Montague is even smiling in ot! I incorporated it into my fic by simply making Montague a very good driver.

Another example that is far more subtle is his lack of dialog. Because of that he does not actually talk to other characters unless he has to. Obviously as one of the main characters he has to talk, but when he's not in a negotiation or with Midas he typically keeps his sentence very short and direct. The svene in the car with Jules and pj is probably what most of his "conversations" are like. And that's why when I did a flashback scene to him as a child he was portrayed as selectively mute, only speaking when forced to by his mother.

All that aside when I was workshopping his character i wanted to really nail down a few traits that would endear him to, well myself mostly because I don't like him but yknow I wanted to make him have a good side to his bad. Something that draws Midas, and the reader, into wanting him to have a good ending.

So essentially Montague is a cunt. He's prideful, judgmental and selfish. He wants things his way and he does not like being told no or someone getting the best of him. He holds grudges, talks down to everyone, and is all round a draining guy to be around. (All yuppies and most French people are like this)

What makes him good? Well since he is a thief (and french) i wanted to give him a respect and appreciation of Art in all forms. Grand glacier is- was? Chock full of paintings and sculptures. A part of his backstory is him being a dancer and eventually finding his passion as a model because he recognizes the art that is high fashion. It never ended up being mentioned in the fic but him being a dancer is how he met Clara then eventually Valeria. Oh! I also decided to make him like animals, specifically because he's not very fond of people. I think it works because it shows that he is capable of kindness and understanding long before he shows that side to a person. (Maybe that's why he's trying so hard to recruit Silas, the snake and all)

I also wanted to humanize Montague by writing him with BPD (borderline personality disorder). This is not to say that this disorder is for evil people, but it is the reason he behaves so bitter and aloof towards well everyone. Montague thinks about everything people do. He over thinks he runs it around in his head he considers all angles because he has just had everything he worked for brought down by someone on the inside that he trusted. That would be difficult for anyone to deal with, and bcs the fic takes place directly after that it's Montague operates at his absolute worst. He's so suspicious of Midas and truly believes there is a ploy out for his life because the thought of being betrayed AGAIN by someone getting feels a genuine spark of interest in wracks him with anxiety. He doesn't eat he barely sleeps and he just goes one moment to the next until inevitable crash. Even though he is a jerk you cannot help but understand how that feels, and thus how BPD affects people in ways that aren't stereotypical yknow? Montague's BPD is not what makes him a bad person, its how he chooses to act around others. Arguably it's what makes him sympathetic, it makes him human

This leads me into Midas! Which is exciting because unlike Montague i actually like Midas. Idk if anyone's noticed but there is SIGNIFICANTLY more description of Midas' appearance than Montague's. No real reason i just think ascendant Midas is pretty and Montague is French.

Anywhoozers, Midas he has a lot more character things in fortnite and outside. Imagine that. So there's much more to work with and i dont have to construct a backstory for him because all that has already been written! When I started this fic I was very interested in the concept of him literally coming back to life from the Greek Underworld. Against my will I am very knowledgeable about Greek and Roman mythology so I had plenty build from.

My goal was to write the Midas in this fic a very specific way. I wanted him to read as wise but sort of youthful. I wanted his inner monolog to be the positive to Montague's dower.

Before he died he was a lot like how Montague is at the start of the fic. He's so driven by his need to understand the Zero Point that he will not let himself have a moment of rest. When he dies, he is at where Montague is right now. He has lost everything, even his life. In death he finally found peace, and was able to slow down.

When he comes back he carries this peace with him. Though he is vengeful that part is ostensibly taken care of (floor is lava), and the man we see is someone with literally a new lease on life. He meets Montague and doesn't want to fix him so much as be with him while he grows. I think it plays into my love of vampire things where I wrote Midas with the concept that he had been alive for thousands of years in the Zero Point as part of the IO. He's not so much more mature than Montague than he is more wise. Therefore he brings unconditional love and patience to their relationship which Montague desperately needs at this point.

This is what I think is so compelling about the two of them. Their relationship is held on a basis of mutual respect and a recognition of themselves in the other. Midas brings out the best in Montague, and Montague brings out the worst in Midas. They are not necessarily evil people, but they are very hard to love. That's just honest facts too. Some people are hard to love. Does Montague deserve Midas? No. He doesn't. But I am compelled to write a story in which, despite all odds, he finds someone that can love him and that he can love back.

Now, obviously, Midas is no saint. He has an ulterior motive and is willing to do an awful thing to get it because no matter what, he is STILL King Midas and will always be greedy. Montague is not incorrect in suspecting Midas wants something from him. He just doesn't realize that it's HIM Midas wants.

#midague #midas fortnite #montague fortnite #yap yap yap or whatever

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cellarspider · 9 months ago

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20/30 Special delivery

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We return to a movie that has never been to medical school, Prometheus.

Here it is. The scene that everybody remembers because it gave a fair few people the screaming heebies. This is the movie's take on the chestburster scene–except for the less impactful, more literal version of the chestburster scene we’ll get later, I mean. This one, though, this one, they got it right.

Content warnings for gore, nudity, nude gore, exhaustive discussions of the place of chestbursting in franchise history.

But first! I saw a tag with a desire to see the scene with David and the star map. To spare everyone from watching the rest of the movie to get there, here it is!

youtube

[See previous post for lengthy description of the events. I didn’t talk about the music in this before though! It really adds to the sense of wonder in this scene. It reminds me of Daft Punk’s Overture to Tron Legacy (2010), another beautiful and flawed movie. Given the modern use of temporary music in editing that definitely sneaks into what directors demand of scores, there’s a chance this was a direct influence. In terms of the “oh wow, space!” feeling it gives me, I’d also mention the Star Trek TNG opening theme.]

Anyway! On with the horror.

In Alien, the creature’s life cycle was developed by writer Dan O'Bannon, who had two major ideas for its early appearances: sexual, reproductive threat directed at a male character, and Crohn’s disease. O’Bannon had Crohn’s, and he said that inspired the idea of a critter chewing its way out of a man’s guts.

That personal connection has been lost through subsequent media, in part because the series has continued to use the same creature and the same method of killing, minor deviations like in Covenant and tasteless ones like AvP Requiem notwithstanding. The chestburster is a thing that can only ever really work once in a movie. The first time is relatively drawn out, made a setpiece of the movie, and is a horrifying plot twist for anyone who goes in blind. After that? Drawing it out may risk becoming meaningless gore or boring, so most movies have chosen to just have the little bugger pop out within seconds. It’s the sideshow before you get to the main event, despite being the iconic scene of Alien.

Prometheus’ equivalent scene wins back a fair amount of tension by altering the details of the event, if not the general arc of it. It certainly hammers on the reproductive horror aspect, but loses the original subversion of targeting a male character. Which is a shame, because male-targeted reproductive horror is still boundary-pushing. From the world of horror gaming, Outlast: Whistleblower produced some notably panicked reactions from male players when they encountered the emasculating, specifically reproductive threat of Eddie Gluskin. (Content warning for gore, death, forced feminization, misogynistic language, censored nudity.)

Regardless, we have The Chestburster Scene again, but now it’s in the back half of the movie, and happens to the main human protagonist.

I find it very odd that this movie is so self-consciously iterating over things that were first done in Alien. It’s like watching a devout Catholic pray at the Stations of the Cross.

Speaking of crosses

Before we get to the main event, there’s the first actual attempt at character work between David and Shaw in the movie, as we’re in the final act. David confiscates Shaw’s cross as she wakes up from her post-boyfriend-barbeque faint. “It may be contaminated,” he says.

Shaw’s christianity is one of the few character traits in the film that ties into one of the themes, and has its own arc. She’s giving up her cross to the person who killed her partner, a metaphor for a crisis of faith which is so blatant as to barely be a metaphor at all. And, given the general arc of how these things go, means she’s going to get it back at some point. The context for it is going to be confusing and disappointing, frankly.

And it’s especially weird given the other metaphor going on simultaneously: David runs some scans on her, and declares she’s three months pregnant. This is a non-virgin virgin pregnancy. She is Alien Mary. This, then, is the narrative reason why Shaw is infertile–so that she could be the Mary figure, and, more practically for the plot, have foreknowledge that something was wrong.

Except it really didn’t have to be that way to make this work. While christian allegory and the creation of life are themes in this movie, Shaw’s infertility was handled with zero grace. And honestly, the movie could work without it–Shaw and Holloway did not have romantic chemistry, as far as I could tell. Lean into that! Just say they haven’t had sex in ages. This scene would actually flow better, because Shaw explicitly objects that she only had sex with Holloway “ten hours ago. There's no bloody way I'm three months pregnant.”

Which again hammers in how stupid fast this movie has been racing its characters toward their doom, but I’m immediately distracted by David pronouncing “it's not exactly a traditional fetus.”

It certainly isn’t. It’s an alien squid, placed there by the holy spirit of black goo. She’s all set to give birth to Squesus.

I think that’s the only worse way he possibly could’ve said it.

David, frankly, gets some of his worst dialog of the movie here, because he is infected by The Plot for a bit. “It must feel like your God has abandoned you,” he says, after sedating her, “to loose Dr. Holloway after your father died under such similar circumstances.” Which leaves one momentarily with the wild mental image of Dad Shaw sacrificing himself to a flamethrower-welding corpo, but no, David means ebola. David found this out via that dream-watching tech that exists solely to be a mildly unnecessary plot point. Blessedly, this is the last time we see any mention of it.

It’s very strange, how the movie is stuffed full of plot and edited so tightly around the plot that characters barely have room to breathe, yet what it prioritizes as plot-relevant is so scattershot. This failing is also inflicted upon the part of the otherwise very effective Chestburster: The Prequel scene.

Shaw attacks the people who come to take her away to cryo, running in her underwear to the PAULING MED-POD the movie very loudly announced earlier, so that you wouldn’t forget it exists. She tells the PAULING MED-POD that she needs an emergency caesarian. The PLOTPOINT MED-POD informs her that it’s only formatted for male patients.

I’ve seen many people complain this makes no sense. It’s in Vickers’ quarters, why would she have an expensive medical device that she can’t fully use? Others counter that no, it makes sense, because the med-pod was actually installed for Peter Weyland, thus justifying its male specificity. He’s a selfish bastard, he got it for himself, plot hole avoided.

…Except that doesn’t address the more fundamental problem: What does this add to this scene, to balance out the fact that the audience is now distracted by this information? It slows Shaw down a bit as she figures out how to cue up a foreign body extraction from the abdominal cavity, adding to the tension. But you don’t need that to be what draws out the scene. Maybe the PAULING MED-POD has a slow boot-up sequence. Maybe someone follows her there, and she has to fight them off, possibly killing them in her panic. A dead body in the room would solve an actual logical problem with a later scene.

It’s frustrating, because the pacing of this scene is actually excellent, as is its premise. Shaw has to forego anesthesia and make do with self-administered local painkillers, because the prosthetics and CG teams have done a bang-up job making her stomach writhe unpleasantly, making it very clear that whatever’s in there is mobile enough to be a danger to her, even if it’s removed.

The pods instruments are mostly CG, but its combination of unhurried routine and abrupt, industrial roboticism adds to the uncomfortable nature of the scene. Sound design is also important here, with all sound effects well-chosen, and mixed to imply claustrophobic closeness and how trapped Shaw is.

The creature itself? Eh. It’s a slightly phallic squid, and squids were already slightly phallic to begin with. They added on a slightly vaginal mouth, which is also a lateral move--squid mouths already look quite a lot like an unworksafe orifice with a beak tucked away in it. Unless you're looking at Promachoteuthis sulcus, whose inner lip structures fold into patterns that look distressingly like human teeth.

Honestly, this is freakier than the actual prop. Good job, Promachoteuthis sulcus. You're only 25 mm long, and a delightful tiny terror.

...But the fact that Shaw’s stuck in the pod with her flailing squid-child is what actually adds another minute of fear and wince-worthy pain, as the almost comically brutal medical staple gun closes her incision and the pod slowly opens up.

She tries to kill it with what appears to be a soothing mist of decontamination spray. This is the one other stumble of the scene, because it’s just… I mean, look at it.

It’s just been spritzed with Febreze. There’s nothing that leaves you wondering if the thing’s still alive for later, you know it’s still alive.

But overall, a well-done scene. The standout horror scene of the movie, which is light on scares. That sparsity wouldn’t even be worth mentioning if the movie were going for slow tension, but with its strange blend of existential quandaries and unremarkable horror tropes, it takes a very strong, singular scene to feel like the tension has actually paid off. I don’t think it completely balances out the deficits of the rest of the horror, but it very nearly manages it, and does manage to be memorable.

Next time: An entirely underwhelming horror scene, and the movie takes another swing at having themes.

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/aug/30/memory-the-origins-of-alien-review-francis-bacon-greek-myth-dan-o-bannon-sci-fi-classic-film

https://www.stanwinstonschool.com/blog/aliens-chestburster-mechanism-behind-the-scenes

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Seegson

https://stackoverflow.com/questions/3314219/how-do-u-v-coordinates-work

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surgical_staple (medical gore cw)

https://sites.uw.edu/pauling2020/

https://www.paulinamarket.com/

Overflow Ramble #1

A shot of the screen on Chekhov’s g–I mean the PAULING MED-POD, showing the text “EMERGENCY PROCEDURE”, and that it is “AWT VERBAL CMD”. The med-pod turns out to be a Weyland product, because all corporations in Alien movies are either Weyland, Yutani, or Seegson, if you’re particularly unlucky (cite 3).

They made the mistake of putting more actual words on here, and so I’m squinting at the top right corner at “CARDIAC STRESS TEST”, “ELECTROCARDIOGRAPHY” AND “MECH ALGN TCH”, which means the pod appears to think she needs to have her heart checked or her wheels aligned.

But what I find funniest is that there’s coordinate sliders in the center bottom: X/Y/Z and U/W. You know where I recognize that from? 3D modeling. U/V/W are used as an alternate coordinate system in that context (cite 4). Somebody was designing this, thinking “well, we need more buttons. Where can I get more buttons?” and then looked at the horrid mass of options and sliders in their modeling software and realized they had the answer.

Overflow Ramble #2

A close-up of David’s hands, holding a sample container and placing Shaw’s necklace inside. Two details, one of them insane, the other just plain funny: First of all, this is a different set of hands than the one when David was messing with the black goo–there was a small but notable blemish on the fingerprint that wasn’t there, proving once again that hand and arm doubles are one of the odder things you don’t think about in film production.

Second: The container is turned so that the label on it is facing away. This allows you to see the necklace, but it also highlights a completely flat Braille label, reading “PN#ZTZouSthe#Z”, which is obviously very informative.

But the real reason why the label is facing away is because it almost hides the fact that the label says “PRODUCT CODE” on it, which means he may have just put Shaw’s necklace in an empty peanut butter jar.

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#Prometheus 2012 #Prometheus (2012)#finally some well done scenes #though the plot still does not leave them unscathed #Youtube

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ace-race-ace · 5 months ago

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Autistic traits reflected by Max Verstappen - Part 2/?

Part 1

DISCLAIMER: this is in no way ‘diagnosing’ Max as autistic. You should not in any way use this post as a reason to start claiming so on Tumblr or any other platform as it can be damaging in many aspects. These are just observations made by me, an autistic person mostly as a sense of comfort in some similar actions/behaviors. It’s fine to discuss and find more instances, but it’s not with an end goal to ‘prove’ anything

Sensory avoidance/seeking

Autistic people often have very specific preferences when it comes to sensory input. Often times there are textures or tastes that we simply can’t/don’t want to deal with. Neurotypical people might dislike something but can “get over it” either because it isn’t that big a deal or out of social norms (ex: pretending to like food given to you to not seem rude). However, autistic people have a much harder time masking our dislike for certain things. A lot of times it’s because it actually physically hurts us in a way, either by headaches, gagging, or pins and needles. It’s not something we can easily ignore and it’s a constant struggle.

On the flip side, there are also sensory things we really enjoy and will reach out for even if it isn’t ‘acceptable’ to (ex: grabbing someone’s shirt out of nowhere because it looks soft and not letting go)

Examples of sensory ‘problems’ with Max

All of these are moments that separately wouldn’t be necessarily considered autistic behavior but it’s the fact it pops up a lot compared to others

Singapore crab video - right from the start, Max is obviously uncomfortable with the crab. Daniel is quick to point out Max doesn’t like seafood. Despite Max being extremely competitive, he doesn’t even attempt to get over his dislike to win the ‘challenge’. He also walks around a lot, probably as a self soothing gesture. Daniel jokingly puts the crab near his face and he can’t stop gagging and completely refuses to be near it.

Singapore Durian video - Similar to above. What’s particularly interesting about this one though is seeing how different Daniel’s and Max’s reactions are. Durian is known to be a ‘stinky’ fruit that many people don’t enjoy the taste of. Daniel definitely expresses how he finds the smell displeasing and when he tastes it, he definitely doesn’t like it. But he stays pretty tame, simply just saying it tastes bad. Max is much more hesitant, not even touching it to taste it. When he does, he immediately starts violently gagging and walking around. This is reflects the inability to mask some reactions as an autistic person. Most people would try and have a more tame reaction like Dan because durian is quite an important cultural thing but Max not at all

English crisps video - Again a great comparison video since Checo is with him. Max straight away expresses his dislike of cheese and repeatedly brings it up. His facial expressions are so pronounced every time he tastes any of the crisps meanwhile Checo is just kinda there like meh, whatever. Max also over explaining his thoughts on the taste and deeply observing every snack before eating it. Checo looks quickly or might give a quick sniff but Max is like intensely inspecting every one of them.

Monaco pool video - More over explaining on Max’s part. He could have just said oh I don’t like the fact people are jumping in together which would be reasonable, especially with everyone being sweaty after the race. Yet his problem is extremely specific, the fluff of new socks?? Like I’m autistic myself and I have no clue what he is talking about. It’s this special attention to detail that most people don’t think about that really exemplifies the autistic aspect.

AUS GP 2024 sand - This is very blink and you’ll miss it and very personal to my own experience. Max complains about already having sand in his shoe. Again, everyone else is also running in the sand and probably has some too but they can easily ignore it and keep going with the video. Max however makes his discomfort obvious. As a kid, I absolutely HATED having sand stuck to me like this, I wouldn’t put my shoes on or leave the beach before every grain of sand was off of me so his reaction just really reminded me of that.

Examples of sensory seeking with Max

Bahrain 2024 microphone - Max intensely observing the mic he’s never seen before, turning it around. Then he starts petting it like a cat and continues to do so despite Checo talking. Checo even jokingly makes fun of him at the end for how much he seems to like the mic.

Full body hugs - Everyone has seen how all consuming Max’s hugs are (with the people he likes). Autistic people often enjoy deep pressure which can be achieved through these strong hugs. Yet it often seems he doesn’t initiate them himself as much, which could relate to how autistic people are often afraid to initiate such deep contact because other people may find it strange. So he waits to be pulled in before fully engulfing the other in a hug.

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There are many more examples but these are a few I could think of off the top of my head :)

More parts to come!

#f1 #formulaone #max verstappen #mv1 #mv33 #autistic things #actually autistic #autism #red bull racing

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linkspooky · 7 months ago

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Yu-Gi-Oh GX Season 2 - The Fool's Journey

This is an analysis of Yu Gi Oh Gx's season 2's use of Tarot, in regerence to the Fool's Journey, specifically in regards to our proverbial fool and favorite idiot Judai Yuki, and every other Tarot card referenced in this season. Of course, this requires coming through every season 2 episode to look at each individual card Saiou pulled from the deck or referenced so pardon me this is going to be a long one.

What is The Fool's Journey

The Fool’s Journey is a sequence of 22 cards, from 00 the fool and 21 the world. It’s meant to represent the journey of the proverbial fool, a blank slate defined by both naivete and ignorance in their personal growth. In other words the fool leaves on a journey...

...to grow from a child to an adult.

In this journey each card is symbolic for a stage, person or ecounter that the fool makes on his journey of personal growth, and the fool must weather all of them in the journey he can't skip the so-called "disaster" cards like "The Devil" or "The Tower" because part of life is coping with tragedy and loss. So the fool's journey is essentially twenty-two cards that represent different encounters, events, and people in a person's life as they grow up.

Judai is the focal character of Yu Gi Oh GX, and while other characters do matter the central focus of the anime is Judai growing from his "pure" childlike self into a fully grown, well-rounded adult.

The Tarot symbolism is most prominent in season 2, but I'd argue that much like the alchemical symbolism it permeates the whole show especially labeling Judai as the fool. Make no mistake from episode 1 on he's the fool, the very first thing he does in series is run into a magician (Yugi who's signature card is Black Magician) who gives him guidance (the second step of the Fool's Journey. I'm going to quote another post here who states it better than me.

In GX, Judai is, symbolically speaking, The Fool of the Tarot Deck, the Novice Alchemist — a person brimming with infinite potential, yet one who is also supremely ignorant, who walks forward with his eyes closed and often unknowingly causes harm in his great ignorance. In this, he is very much the embodiment of the faults we most commonly associate with teenagers — selfishness, recklessness, shallowness, a lack of dedication or empathy when it’s most needed. Like most people, he has good traits that work to balance out some of the above, but his narrative path through GX ends up being that of the flawed hero undone by his faults — and then that of the atoner, the repentant sinner. In his case, the mistakes of his teenage years are the catalyst for his growth from a boy into a man burdened with duty and purpose.

Judai is a blank slate brimming with potential like the fool, and he's also an ignorant child who doesn't look before he leaps - and there are great consequences for his ignorance. Even in Season 2, a majority of the conflict could have been avoided with the Light if Judai was on the ball, instead of ignoring his friends for weeks after they were brainwashed. Judai is more often than not someone who has to be pushed into being a hero, not someone who voluntarily walks the path and this is something that lets the villains easily manipulate him. Especially in Season 2 where the main villain Saiou's gimmick is convincing the other characters that he's in control of their fate. Someone who doesn't grab the reigns, who doesn't try to control their life will see reality as something that happens to them rather than something they make with every single decision and those people are the kind who easy fall prey to Saiou's manipulations.

It's easy to see life as entirely out of your control if you don't take control. For Judai this manifests in two seasons worth of him resisting growing up and taking responsibility. As the fool he's not wise to the world and because of that, he's often caught guard by what's happening around him and the schemes of villains until it's almost too late.

The need for Judai's growth is especially emphasized in Season 3, where his "pure" nature that he's constantly praised for in the first two seasons becomes heavily criticized as a character flaw. However, the setup is present in Season 2. The first card that Saiou pulls for Judai is the fool, specifically after all of Judai's cards have gone blank and he leaves the academy. The fool is wandering in search of something, because the Fool is missing somethig. You don't leave to go on a journey if you're content and have everything you need at home.

We'll learn in Season 3 just what it is Judai is missing (*cough* Yubel *cough*) but this begs the question if Judai actually needed to reunite with Yubel. After all for the first two seasons Judai seemed to be managing fine without Yubel. In a jungian sense, yes he did because Judai in seasons 1 and 2 had yet to go through the process of individuation. It's the process by which one achieves psychic wholeness, similar to the fool's journey it's necessary for growing up and becoming one's own self.

Judai cannot continue to remain a child, nor can he remain "pure" because pure people don't exist in this world. Judai's pureness comes from a mix of innocence and ignorance, because he's quite literally forgotten some of the darker memories of his past (like Yubel quite literally sending all of his friends into comas until everyone became scared of him) and also from a refusal to "get smarter' or "grow up" on his end. For example does all of the trouble Judai faces in Season 3 come entirely from Yubel, or does Judai also struggle because behaviors that are okay when your first year of high school and still growing become less okay in your third year?

Judai's childish and pure heart that makes him the fool is both his greatest strength and weakness, his strength because he's optimistic, open to new experiences and generally trusting of people which makes him so easy to befriend. However it's a flaw when Judai's childishness turns into childlike selfishess, when his ignorance leads to him making foolish, impulsive decisions. Judai's downright refusal to think, about other people's feelings, about the consequences of his actions leads to great suffering later down the line. After all in the art of the Rider-Waite Tarot card, the Fool is taking the first step of their journey blithefully unaware that they're about to walk right off of a cliff.

So the Fool's Journey is something Judai must complete to grow up and complete his character arc, because the fool may be innocent, and pure of heart, but they're also empty and empty things need to be filled. Each of the cards Saiou pulls this season, are representative of Judai's journey throughout season 2 and some of these are going to be characters, because some of the cards represent people the fool encounters.

Destiny

Before I start breaking down every single tarot card that Saiou pulls, I also want to go into why Destiny is such a huge theme in season 2. There's Saiou's ability to see the future, the multiple tarot cards that are refereced, Saiou's entire deck archetype being based around the major arcana with "Arcana Force" monsters, Edo's obsession with Destiny, the "D-Heroes" or Destiny Hero Archetype that Edo plays which work around the concept of effects that manipulate time (such as sending a card two turns into the future, or flipping over a spell card on your deck to use next turn.)

This season isn't just a typical "there's no such thing as destiny, you can change your fate if you want to" story, because of the way it uses tarot symbolism / Jungian Symbolism. Basically the whole theme of Season 2 (and the leadup to Season 3) boils down to this quote.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it Fate.” CG JUNG

The biggest example of this is Edo, who is also someone who desperately wants to believe in destiny, and that he's a person chosen for a great destiny at the beginning of the season.

Edo’s obsession with destiny comes from not wanting to confront his past and his inner wounded child. If he believes he’s a chosen hero on a quest for revenge, he doesn’t have to confront what DD pointed out that he’s still the grieving child who lost his father.

Since Edo ignores the unconscious, he is for most of the story a pawn in some way or another. He’s a pawn to Saio believing and following his prophecies, he’s a pawn to DD who killed his father never once suspecting him.

Characters who ignore the unconscious, become pawns of Saiou / the Light. What this basically means is that if you are not aware of a flaw you have, you'll be sabotaged by it in some way. Problems don't usually go away by ignoring them after all as nice as that would be. In Jungian symbolism the shadow is made up of the flaws that you would rather ignore or not confront, and all other parts of the personality that you're not aware of. Confronting the shadow is necessary for individuation which is the same goal as the Fool's Journey. Saiou's strategy is to duel someone, exploit some subconscious flaw, Manjoume's inferiority complex towards Judai, The pressure Asuka feels to conform, Misawa's desire for validation and praise from his peers. Once he's exploited that flaw he brainwashes them with the light, because while being controlled they don't have to think about that flaw. Since they don't want to confront their flaw / shadow and it's easier to just keep o ignoring it then they become pawns to destiny.

Now, for the breakdown of every card that Saiou references this season.

53: Destiny Begins The Freshman Edo Phoenix

Pull #1: Death in Reverse

XII - Death I am Wary

Death doesn't mean literla death, but rather change. Dath means change. Death means change. Death means change. Means change.

However, Saiou pulls Death from the deck inverted. You have to have death to have rebirth. If it's inverted then it's stagnancy. It's refusing to acknowledge change, or in some cases it's refusing to grieve and because of that you're unable to move on or move forward.

The situation that Saiou pulls this in is during the middle of Edo's duel with Judai. A duel that Saiou set up, and then told Edo to lose, which Edo obeys because up until a certain point he's always done what Saiou's deck told him to do - because of his firm belief in destiny.

Death in reverse in this case is Edo - because his desire to belief in destiny comes from his refusal to grieve or move on from his father's death. If he believes that everything is predetermined and he's a chosen one, then he's not some sad orphaned kid, he's a hero with a great destiny ahead of him.

Edo is the one refusing to acknowledge death, and refusing to grieve, and therefore he's the one who is stagnating at the start of the story.

Pull #2: Chariot in Reverse

VII - The Chariot I am Driving

The chariot is the card of ambition, action, energy and most of all control. In the rider waite tarot the image is of a hero riding the chariot. However, in reverse it means a hesitation to grab onto the reigns and take control of your life.

This is once again in reference to Edo, who because of his belief in destiny leaves all the decision making up to Saiou. Edo who would normally be a very strong, ambitious, willfull individual is easily manipulated by Saiou because he refuses to take the reigns into his own hands.

The chariot in reverse can also sometimes mean chaos, as in someone who refuses to take control of his life in an "I do what I want" sort of way. In that case it could be referring to Judai, especially the way Judai's extremely self-centered egotism, only dueling for fun compares to how Edo who is always carrying massive burdens on his shoulders and believes a hero has to carry such things (in spire of the fact that Edo is essentially still a child, just a child playing at being an adult). Saiou says that a encounter with Judai is necessary for Edo's growth and that's true, because Edo just like Judai is still a child, but Judai's aware of that fact whereas Edo thinks he's an adult when he's not. Sometimes the first step to growth is taking a good long look in the mirror.

57: The Kaiser vs. Ed

Pull #1: The Chariot - Upright

I already elaborated on the Chariot's meaning above - but it's upright this time. There's an interesting line where Edo says he was going to win his first duel with Judai until Saiou ordered him to lose. Which implies that it's not destiny at play here, but rather Edo's belief in destiny which influences his choices.

The Chariot could also be a reference to Hell Kaiser Ryo. As the sense of loss and powerlessness in this episode that Kaiser experiences humiliates him enough that he has a full breakdown and becomes obsessed with achieving victory above everything else - much like the triumphant hero holding the reigns of the chariot.

Unlike other characters who fall prey to possession (Fubuki, Asuka, Manjoume, etc...) Ryo repeatedly emphasizes that he's not being possessed by darkness internal or otherwise, his apparent change in behavior is the result of his own decisions. Ryou for all of his flaws is much more of an adult than Edo who's being controlled for more than half of the season because of his belief than destiny, he takes responsibility for his own choices when others like Fubuki try to make excuses for him.

In that sense he embodies the chariot much more than Edo as it's the card of having both hands on the wheel. Though once again the chariot in reverse is the perfect card for Edo, because Saiou's trick is convincing people they're not in control of their destiny which is when he starts making all of your choices for you.

61 - Enter Saiou the Tarot Deck of Destiny

He is a duelist who is able to communicate deeply with Duel Spirits - or so my divinations tell me.

X - Wheel of Fortune: I am changing

Saiou pulls this card after Judai's deck has been bleached, when he's standing on the precipice to leave Duel Academy where he'll later have an encounter with the Neo-Spacians. He doesn't name the card, but it's clearly the Wheel of Fortune, he later pulled the card in association with Edo when he believed Edo was the one who could change his eventual fate.

Here Saiou pulls the card while ruminating on Judai's connection to the spirits. In context he believes the spirits are what's protecting him from the fool as pictured above. I went into great detail for how the fool represents Judai so let's skip that to stop from repeating myself and focus on the Wheel of Fortune.

The wheel of fortune is chaotic chance by the ordained power of gods and the celestial heavens/earth. It's also a card heavily associated with Alchemy.

“The Waite-Smith Wheel of Fortune is fourfold in construction, signaling all that is known in the world of matter: directions, elements, Kabbalistic worlds, fixed signs of the zodiac, etc. Spaced around the wheel’s rim is the divine name, , counterchanged with English letters. Most will instantly pick up the word TARO(T)—sometimes called the “book of fate.” But you might also see ROTA (“wheel”), ORAT (“speaks”), TORA (the law or “Torah”), and ATOR (“Hathor”). Alchemical glyphs adorn the axes of the circle. At the top, mercury’s symbol; at left, the salt symbol; at right, the sulfur symbol. These three are the tria prima of alchemy. The glyph at the bottom, though it resembles the Aquarius glyph, is more likely the alchemical sign for multiplication, a process by which the alchemical product becomes more voluminous. Or the four symbols may be elemental: mercury/air, sulfur/fire, salt/earth, wavy final glyph/water. Atop the Wheel is the enigmatic sphinx. Modern tarot scholars consider the yellow descending serpent to be monstrous Typhon and the red “devil” figure to be jackal-headed psychopomp Hermanubis. The Kerubic beasts from Ezekiel 10 occupy the card’s four corners; their books may be the Gospels: Lion[…]” Excerpt From Tarot Deciphered T. Susan Chang

The connection to divine aspect in this context is Judai's connection to the spirits. However, pulling the Fool right afterwards is interesting because it's the card of ignorance. Judai doesn't know why he's connected to the spirits because he's forgotten, both his childhood connection to Yubel and the fact he could see spirits long ago. This is a plot point that's foreshadowed three times, first Judai telling a scary story to his dormmates of when he used to hear spirits in his childhood, then in season 2 when he suddenly remembers entering the Kaiba Corp contest for the Neo-Spacians, that's only half the story though as in season 3 Judai begins to question when he first saw spirits until he finally remembers Yubel and sending them away on another satellite.

The last card he pulls is the hanged man which is a card tied directly to Manjoume. Manjoume is Judai's foil in a sense. Saiou even uses Manjuoume as a replacement head of the cult something he originally planned for Judai. Manjoume also primarily wears black, a color associated with Nigredo. Nigredo is the first stage of alchemy the where most of the impurities are boiled out until the alchemical mixture turns pitch black. Manjoume similiarly, is a character who carries around an inferiority complex and constantly battles with his low self-worth and the pressure to succeed unlike Judai who spends the first two seasons repressing all those feelings.

XII - The Hanged Man I am releasing.

Some people argue that Manjoume has no character arc past season 1, but I'd argue being the villain exploiting you with your worst insecurities and flaws is impressive character work because we learn a great deal about Manjoume here.

The hanged man is the card of surrender to outside forces, the card of taking time to contemplate, and also the card of self-proclaimed martyrdom.

There is more than one religion that speaks of a man hanged from a tree. Mithras in roman mythology, Odin from Norse, Jesus in Christianity, and Osiris from Egypt. This card is often interpreted as a representative of martyrdom - the more accurate word other than a martyr is sacrifice. One of my friends recently shared this with me: "Remember that surrender is an act of will. It is a choice to unclench one's fist and hang oneself upside down and stay there." Kitchen Table Tarot

The use of the word "Sacrifice" is ironic here, because Manjoume is basically used as a human sacrifice to become a vessel of the Light of Destruction.

Using the Hanged Man as the Self-Made Martyr is meaningful here too, because Kenzan proves that losing a duel to Saiou doesn't automatically result in brainwashing. My theory on what makes others fall prey to the light's influence is when they accept Saiou's words about their inner desires, essentially falling prey to their insecurities. The light is a relief in a way to those riddled by insecurities they don't have to to think about the things that worry them if they're brainwashed. If you think about it, Manjoume is exploited for his inferiority complex, Asuka is forced to conform into a more feminine role, and Misawa joins a cult to get validation from his peers after they start ignoring him.

The Hanged Man is all about the choice to hang oneself, and while Saiou is incredibly forceful including using the surrounding plant life to hang Manjoume the card ultimately implies it was Manjoume's choice ultimately because he kept judging himself on his ability to beat Judai instead of just looking at his own merits.

You have a rival that you wish to surpass. However, deep within your heart you have all but surrendered. That's not all, you even entice him with friendship in order to prolong your battle. Yes stagnation stemming from a failure to defeat Judai. You cannot continue like this. That said, you happened to pull he who hung in reverse. This foretells progress from stangation.

The choice to stop believing in his own cards and accept the cards that Saiou gave him was ultimately his own in that moment. As evidenced by the fact that Manjoume is able to throw off his own brainwashing later on and take the Ojamas back.

In the duel itself the hanged man arcana force card lands in reverse, and the meaning is exactly as Saiou states it, stagnation, but a stagnation you have to make the decision to pull yourself out of. "That said you happened to pull he who was hung in reverse. This foretells progress from stagnation. Yes - one can choose their destiny."

Of course the irony here is Manjoume's not really making the choice to escape stagnation here, because he's accepting Saiou's will over his own.

62 - A New E-Hero Neos!

This time a card falls out of Saiou's deck, which is something that happens in real life all the time actually when I'm doing readings. Which is a fun little detail the creators threw in. The card itself is death, it falls in a diagonal position ambiguous to whether or not it's upright or reverse which Saiou terms "rebirth if reversed, destruction if upright."

XIII - Death "I am Weary"

Saiou's reading of the card is a little weird. Death in Tarot is the card of Death and Rebirth in the sense of change. Destruction is more in the wheelhouse of the Tower.

Of course his reading could be referring to the necessity of letting things die, in order for change to occur, whether they be old ways, old ideas, etc. Death in reverse isn't rebirth though, but rather stagnancy and the resistance of destruction.

The definition of Death here does fit with the alchemy symbolism surrounding Judai's character. The main philosophy of alchemy is "Dissolve et Coagula" which basically means death and rebirth. A person is dissolved and reformed into a purer metal until eventually alchemical gold is formed. Judai is in fact a character that has been resisting death, because he spends basically two seasons a stagnant character and his immaturity as a result of his lack of growth is a big focus of season 3.

In the Fool's Journey the death tarot card is all about accepting both grief and death as inevitable facts of life.

The Fool now begins to eliminate old habits and tired approaches. He cuts out nonessentials because he appreciates the basics of life. He goes through endings as he puts the outgrown aspects of his life behind him. He process may seem like dying because it is the death (13) of his familiar self to allow for the growth of a new one. Learntarot.com

Clinging to the familiar self is definitely a way to describe Judai. One of his biggest flaws is his tendency to settle into a comfortable status quo and take things for granted. Hence why he takes so long to try to save his friends from brainwashing in this season.

"It is the ego that sees itself as separate from life; because it is only a mask the ego does not wish to die. It wishes to make itself superior to the universe. If we accept death we will be able to live more fully. The ego never wants to release energy, it wants to hoard it more fully, as a result new energy cannot get in. " Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A book of Tarot

Jung even defines death of the ego as something necessary for growth. In The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959; 2nd ed., 1968), Jung characterized ego death (which he referred to as “psychic death”) as a fundamental reordering of the psyche with the liberating potential to reset human consciousness so that it might better align with the “natural” self.

Which you know season 3 foreshadowing again, Judai accepts death in himself in quite a literal sense as the end of the season he dies and is reborn as a new being entirely.

I'm probably reading too much into it, but it's pretty clear Yubel was the plan at this point, considering both the season 1 Judai seeing spirits in his childhood, and the launching trading cards into space are both things that get added into Yubel's eventual backstory.

70 - Asuka Vs Manjoume White Thunder

The upright Hierophant! It refers to someone who will be of use. Could this mean that it is Judai Yuki and not Edo Phoenix that I need?

V - The Hierophant I am unlocking

In this scene Saiou directly states the card could be referring to either Edo or Judai. Sorry Asuka no card for you this episode (if I had to assign her a card it would be the high priestess passive, feminine inspiration who appears after the Magician she is basically the first friend Judai makes and one of his first duels when he comes to Duel Academy). The hierophant is also the masculine counterpart to the high priestess so that's more evidence for Asuka being subtly marked as the high priestess.

Saiou first pulled the Hierophant in the past shortly after meeting Edo, to show Edo his belief that Edo can be the one to change the terrible future he's predicted for himself.

The hierophant sits between two pillars wearing three robes - red blue, and white - and a three-tiered crown, both erepresenting the three worlds over which he rules (the ego, the id, and the supergo). In his left hand he holds the Papl Cross. He raises his right hand in a blessing, with one two fingers pointed to the Heavens and two to Earth. This represents the connction between man and the divine. While the crossed keys at the Hierophants feet represent the balance between the conscious and subconscious minds. Overall it's a card for a figure that appears and offers you guidance.

A card that is appropriate for Saiou who's conscious and subconscious minds are completely out of whack. The state of Saiou's possession is left a little bit ambiguous in the text. Saiou claims he's completely controlled by the Light of Desstruction, split into two entirely seperate halfs ala Marik and Dark Marik. His good half does in fact go to Edo and help him in the duel. However, the Light of Destruction claims that he is Saiou, and he's enacting Saiou's vengeance against a world that shunned and feared him for his powers. However, either way the fact that Saiou has divided himself into two distinct halves shows a serious imbalance in his conscious and subconscious he wishes Edo to help him fix.

Before the Hierophant kneels two followers. The hierophant's role is to pass down spiritual wisdom. That's likely the Judai part of the card.

I read something that likened the Hierophant to trickster gods. What's this? Coyote, Hermes, Fox, Loki - they take information that we can't quite wrap our heads around and make it discernible. The Trickster is the messenger between the gods and Man. Stealing fire, teaching us forbiddensecrets, giving us an apple. Joseph Sober called the Hierophant "He who shows the Sacred" in The Book of Oracles, or A Poet's Tarot.

If the Hierophant is linked to trickster gods as well then that's the Fool / Judai's role, also as the character who acts as the messenger between spirits and humans which is Judai's role as Edo can't see spirits. Linking both Judai and Edo to this card also foreshadows Judai's eventual role as someone who becomes a guide to help Duel Spirits and Humans coexist.

Judai is also much like Edo, someone who's conscious and subconscious minds are completely out of whack. All of Season 3 is a balancing act for the 3 parts of Judai's soul, Judai (Ego), Supreme King (Id) and Yubel (Superego). The entire duel between Edo and Saiou is basically setup for what Judai must do at the end of Season 3 when facing Yubel when it's time to find balance in his soul (and Yubel is definitely his soul).

Judai is the guide between spirits and humans, but he's still in the process of learning how to guide others something that takes him about four seasons because Judai is a slow learner.

73 - Kenzan VS Saiou! It's Dinosaur DNA, Don

Saiou starts the episode with a four card spread, card one wheel of fortune, card two the fool, card three the hierophant three cards we've already covered and four is The Strength which refers to Kenzan.

And what is this card that accompanies the Fool? The Strength... Power? A symbol of unwavering Power. Do I take this to mean this one might also affect my fate?

VII - The Strength I am graceful.

That sure is interesting card art for the Strength. For the most part Saiou's cards resemble the Rider Waite decks, a religious leader for the hierophant, a fool for the fool, a figure on a chariot pulled by a two-headed figure (as opposed to two lions), Death shows a figure of Death (in Rider-Waite it's the pale horseman but in other decks it's just the reaper himself) but the Strength Card is traditionally a woman in a white dress taming a lion. The white dress is purity, the infinity symbol atop her head an endless supply of strength, and the act of taming the lion itself is feminine energy controlling the lion a symbol of untamed beastly power. Saiou's card art looks like some sort of alien crawling out of the earth with a crumbling tower and the moon in the background.

It's most likely just a reference to Saiou's alien-like / eldtrich inspired Arcana Force cards, which mixes the major arcana with lovecraftian lore to reference the alien nature of the Light of Destruction as an unknowable force from outerspace tampering with earth. Since the Strength is about taming beastly power, the representative of powr isn't a lion, but rather an alien like the strange Alien force Saiou gets his power from - which makes sense as Kenzan is the first character we're shown able to conquer the light on his own.

As I stated above it's ambiguous whether the light is straight up mind control, or just a corruption. Saiou seems to be possessed as in there is an alien force in his body controlling his body like a puppet, but the Light itself claims some part of Saiou too wants destruction. It's different then the way Yubel possesses people, which is just quite literally using their body as a puppet. Johan isn't even inside of his body when Yubel possesses him he gets shoved into a card, Yubel / Johan isn't a reflection of any of Johan's desires or internal darkness. Yubel themselves are referred to as being corrupted by the light, but they're clearly not possessed their actions are their own no matter how twisted they may be. In that case the Light is more mental damage that comes from enduring painful torture for years on end.

In Duel Links, Yubel has an encounter with Saiou where Saiou detects the light's influence on Yubel and asks them to join in his mission only for Yubel to turn them down.

Saiou: Let us fill the universe with light together. Yubel: No. Saiou: What? Yubel: I don't care about the light. I don't care about you. I only care about Judai.

Which is evidence that the Light doesn't fully possess you so much as corrupt what's already there, Yubel already had an unhealthy fixation on Judai before this and the Light made it so Yubel and Judai were the only two people in the universe that mattered in Yubel's eyes.

The point of this long tangent is that this episode shows once again that people can resist the light. As Kenzan is the first person to successfully do it, he shows that losing a duel =/= possession. Misawa wasn't even going to lose his duel, the pressure to conform and join the cult with everyone else because he wanted to be recognized by his peers just made him lose on purpose.

The Light and season 2 as a whole is a reference to the Albedo or the Whitening phase of alchemy, the second stage where the metal has been cleansed of all impurities. Similiarly, the Light seems to work by promising to cleanse the characters who fall victims to it of their impure thoughts, ie their insecurities because while being brainwashed for the whole season more or less the characters brainwashed are succumbing to flaws that are a part of their arcs for the entire show.

Manjoume is constantly battling against his inferiority complex, which is both a springboard that motivates him to get stronger but also sabotages any self confidence he might build up for himself. Asuka is continually fighting the constant pressure of Duel Academy and sometimes even the people around her like Fubuki, telling her to conform to more a more feminine ideal, the conflict between perceived obligation to fill others expectations vs. doing what you want in life. Even Manjoume and Asuka's duel is Manjoume basically brainwashing her because his subconscious romantic feelings and longing towards her makes him want to brainwash her to being his queen at his sides -> forcing her to conform to femininity when previously she responded to his feelings by telling him she didn't have room for love in her life because her first love was dueling. Misawa presents himself as an island who only cares about dueling and intellectual pursuits, but both Tanya and the Light reveal how much he needs love in his life.

When Kenzan resists the light's brainwashing he claims it's because of his dinosaur DNA, but it's more than likely Kenzan himself - his upbeat nature means he doesn't have the same insecurities that Alexis, Manjoume and Misawa have. In season 3 when he's used as a part of the sacrifice ritual to create super polymerization he even says that he's never felt such strong hatred before. Not to say Kenzan's without flaws, he idolizes Judai way too much, but he's also achieved a peace with himself other characters haven't b/c he's tamed his wild side.

You could also tie Jim Crocodile Cook in Season 3 to the strength, because he's heavy foils with Kenzan, Kenzan uses dinosaurs and Jim uses fossils, they're both tied to earth, they both are good-natured guys who value friendship and loyalty above else. Jim also plays a big role in taming the beast when it comes to the fight against the Supreme King / Haou and Judai's inner darkness. Since the Shadow in a Jungian sense is composed of all the hidden parts of our personality, including the beastial instincts that are suppressed by the ego. Jim and Kenzan by embodying the strength card, display find a balance between the ego and the shadow that other characters lack.

The fact that Jim and Kenzan also both conquer this darkness / light respectively shows that in the end it is the character's choice to succumb. Judai when succumbing to the supreme king is SHADOW POSSESSED which is a Jungian term where unaware of our worst flaws we become essentially possessed by them and unknowingly keep committing the same mistakes.

As stated above until you make the unconscious conscious it will rule your life and you will call it fate. The same mistake every character who falls victim to Saiou makes, believing fate is something that happens to them because he called a few coin flips right in a duel rather than something they create with every single decision they make.

Supreme King Judai snaps and decides that nothing else matters except for power and that if he already lost four friends to it he might as well finish Super Polymerization. He's not being puppeteered or controlled though, Judai is falling prey to his worst instincts but it's still Judai making the decisions here. Which is the same for characters possessed by the Light, ultimately Manjoume, Alexis and Misawa have to throw off the shackles themselves. Which makes these possessions part of an arc and not just the characters being reduced to agenciless puppets for half a season (no that's the zombie thing in the third season.)

They key to doing this is embracing your wild instincts / your shadow and taming them rather than trying to repress them entirely. For Manjoume it's throwing his black coat back on and embracing the fact that he's a messy person full of pride and flaws (which is color symbolism b/c the black coat is Nigredo, but also just funny because he doesn't wash his coat), for Asuka it's embracing the fact that she doesn't fit the ideal of queen of obelisk or the stereotypical unemotional ice queen because she has too many fiery emotions (elemental symbolism and color symbolism). The light tries to rid you of your shadow, but you actually need your shadow to be a whole person b/c all those niggling little flaws are a part of who you are.

97 - He Appears! The Mysterious World Champ

"He's actually searching for his father. I understand how he feels. Every man sees his father as someone to surpass eventually. However, Ed had his father taken from him by a murderer. If he wants to surpass his late father, he will have to defeat that crimminal. That's what he believes. That's why he searches so fervently for an opponent to surpass in his father's place."

There's no tarot card pulled in this episode, but these two episodes take a right turn from Jung Territory right into FreudVille with the insanely oedipal speech the principal gives about Edo's relationship with his father.

Oedipus Rex is a play about many things, chiefly family ties and fate. Oedipus hears a prophecy about killing his father and bedding his mother, so in horror he leaves his home. On the highway to thebes he gets in an argument with a man and kills him on the side of the road. Then in Thebes he solves the Sphinx's riddle and is proclaimed a hero and a king for saving the city. He marries the recetnly widowed queen and has several children with her.

Years later a plague falls upon the city. He summons the prophet Tiresias to tell him who's behind the plague, and Tiresias the blind prophet tells him that he doesn't want to know the truth. Oedipus eventually discovers that he was adopted. That his birth parents heard the same prophecy that he would kill one and bed the other, and decided to leave him on a cliff to die - only for him to be saved. The man Oedipus killed on the side of the road was Laius, the former king and his father, and his wife Jocasta is actually his mother.

Oedipus is revealed to be the culprit of the plague in Thebes all along, because he unknowingly killed his father and bed his mother. Ironically, it's also Oedipus's attempts to defy his fate that lead him to committing the sin he was prophesized to do. Oedipus believes himself to be the hero trying to solve the plague in Thebes only to learn he's the very cause of the plague.

Freud believed Oedipus Rex to be a play that speaks to a fundamental truth of the human subconscious, and named the Oedipus Complex after the play. The Oedipus Complex is a Freudian Term that states a boy develops an unconscious infatuation towards his mother and simultaneously fears his father to be a rival.

Edo doesn't even have a mother so the incestuous interpretation doesn't really apply here. Freud can be interpreted another way though, basically the first relationship we ever experience is with our parents, and the relationship we have with our parents teaches us about all other relationships in life (google attachment styles / theory this is a well studied phenomenon).

The principal takes the heavily Freudian interpretation that Edo can't grow up because due to the fact that his father died early, he never surpassed his father as young boy's due. Edo is still stuck in this stage of immaturity where he views his father as a rival because his father was taken from him too early.

Edo also symbolically kills both his father and his adoptive father in defeating DD and killing the remains of his father's soul that was in Destiny Hero Blood-D! in order to finally grow up. Symbolically he's killing his father like Oedipus, but in actuality what he's doing is choosing to let go of the feelings of the past that controlled him for so long and move on. In order to grow up you have to symbolically kill your parents, or at least in childhood your parents have control of every aspect of your life and seem all knowing and part of growing up is separating from your parents, taking control of your life and making your own decision.

Edo is more closely tied to the fate aspect of Oedipus Rex, in the sense that Edo believes himself to be the hero of the story that is center to the narrative but is blinded to the truth all along. He is even at parts the villain of the story, because for so long he helps Saiou's machinations by willingly choosing to be his puppet because he wants to believe he's a chosen, destined hero so badly.

Much like Oedipus, Edo (oh my god... is that why he's named Edo) spends his entire arc searching for the culprit when the culprit has been right next to him all along. He even gets used as a part of the culprit's plan, because DD encouraged Edo to search for the person who stole Bloo-D in order to spy on the police investigation and make sure Edo didn't get close. Edo, like Oedipus believes himself to be the hero of the story.

But maybe, being chosen by fate isn't a good thing. Oedipus technically is a hero, but he's the hero of a tragedy. He's chosen by fate, but that fate means he's ultimately helpless and agenciless destined to commit a horrible disgusting act he doesn't want to do. All of his attempts to avert his fate and exert his free will just end up with him fulfilling that horrible fate instead.

Edo wants to believe in destiny because of his childish belief in heroes, and his need for heroes to exist because his father's killer went unpunished. He also copes with the reality of his father's death by creating a fictional narrative, he was the hero, his father's death is his tragic backstory, and one day he'll avenge his father and get revenge because that's how stories go. Once again though to be a character in a story is to have no agency, because characters don't have control the authors do. Characters are just tools of the narrative, just like how Edo spends so much of his arc a tool of Saiou, and DD.

When DD is justifying himself and his actions in killing Edo's father he sounds a lot like Edo, proclaiming himself one of the chosen ones.

DD:Self-interest? Not quite. I wanted to know whether or not I was the chosen one. Just look at history - all the greats who seized power would always commit some number of crimes. In killing your father, I became a great myself and I proved my status as the chosen one. Edo: You've lost your mind! DD: Edo, I wouldn't expect a commoner like you to understand. The path of a great is a unique one, after all - one devoid of laws and common sense.

DD's logic is a reflection of Ed's, and also Saiou's, as all three of them believe themselves to be chosen by a special destiny, and in all 3 cases it's actually a terrible thing to be a chosen one. DD is even split down the middle just like Saiou, and it's implied for all the victories Bloo-D brought him he might just be possessed by that card, an angenciless tool just like Saiou is to the light.

In Season 4 Saiou even succumbs to his flaws and turns against Judai because he can't stand to be powerless, and getting his powers to see the future back is in his eyes worth the possession it might bring too. All three of these characters want to believe in a fixed destiny because it makes them special, but by believing in fate they also give up their ability to make choices and become tools. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will ruin your life and you will call it fate.

Even Saiou's narrative of gaining revenge for his father turns out to be unsatisfying in the end, after his long quest for revenge all he accomplishes is finding out his adoptive father never once cared for him all along, and he has to kill the last living memory of his real father. The revenge that he thought would bring him closure just rips the wound right back open. His narrative is proven false and Edo is shown not to be a hero as he imagined himself, but just a child who's failed to grow up, or grow past the day his father was killed.

100 - The Ultimate Arcana, The World

I've foreseen what my future will bring - my fate. THe sign that I've derived is destruction. The upright Devil card. Crime, injustice, temptation, restraint.... It implies them all.

XV - The Devil I am choosing.

Saiou pulls The Devil in a flashback in reference to himself and his future, right after pulling Hierophant in reference to Edo and his role in Saiou's future. We went over the Hierophant above so I'm just going to focus on the Devil.

Saiou's reading of the Devil is pretty much dead on, however, he leaves off a critical part that the man and woman who are chained to the devil in the Rider Waite card have loose chains around their necks that they could take off at any time. The Devil is the card of chaining yourself to your own worst habits.

Do you see how people are chained to this throne? Those are pretty thick chains and look fairly sturdy. Look at their necks, they could slip off at any time but they’re choosing not to. That’s what this is about. Who could create a better hell for us than ourselves? Who knows our weaknesses? Who knows how to make us feel low and dirty and worthless? Who is ready to exploit these vulnerabilities and hurt us at a moment’s notice? Yep. Ourselves. We don’t always chain ourselves without help, peer pressure, poor guidance from parents, but whatever your path is - at some point you have a choice to make. Do I wear this chain or not? Do I drink to excess? Do I hurt someone just because I can? This card is about chaining yourself to those things that pull you down. Why do we do things to ourselves? When does it become okay to verbally and emotionally abuse ourselves? I think it comes down to two things, fear and doubt. Fear that we’re not as good as everyone else, and the doubt that allows that fear to trickle in. -Kitchen Table Tarot

It's almost characteristic of Saiou to leave out the part where the Devil is the card of chaining yourself down, because Saiou doesn't believe he has any freedom or choice in choosing his future. He paints himself as the helpless victim of fate, and that makes it easier for the Light of Destruction to control him. As I said before it's left really ambiguous if Saiou is 100% possessed or just corrupted like Yubel, but the Light of Destruction makes the case that on some subconscious level Saiou wants to lash out against the world for excluding him.

Saiou almost exhibits a learned helplessness in regards to his own fate. He doesn't fight back because the light has him totally convinced that he can't fight back. The light also tries to convince Saiou that his destructive impulses are Saiou's own destructive impulses. Unlike Yubel it's less clear - like Yubel is clearly painted as being in control, all of the schemes are Yubel's own designs, Yubel's feelings for Judai are so strong even the Light can't sway them.

Saiou is a mix between being corrupted by teh eldtrich madnezz and just having a powerful dark side ala Dark Marik that takes total control. In favor of the Eldtrich explanation we have the clear lovecraftian inspiration in Saiou, the Light of Destruction, and his deck the Arcana Force. Most particularly the Light is a clear reference to the Color Out of Space.

The color out of space is a short story where a meteorite crashes into a farm owned by Nahum. As a result of the meteor the crops grow large and abundant but are inedible. Thewell water all goes bad. The livestock start to mutate and die off, and their meat is inebile. One of his sons locks himself in the attic and dies, the other vanishes while retrieving water from the contaminated well. The wife then goes to the attic and mutates into a horrible indescribable form.

When Nahum is discovered dying he tells the others that the "color" that arrived on the meteorite is responsible. The color then pours out from the well and makes everything around it go mad, killing the trees, greying organic matter. The "color" itself is an alien entity that corrupts everything around it, much like the Light is described as evil space rays from a White Hole deep into space that corrupts everything it touches. Like the Light makes no sense but it's not supposed to make sense, it's just some weird, unknowable cosmic sense of corruption that twists everything it touches, something with no motivation or sense behind its actions much like alien colors pouring out of a meteorite.

The lovecraftian explanation for Saiou's corruption removes all agency from Saiou, it's not his fault he has just been touched by teh eldtrich lore.

The other explanation is that Devil, that Saiou willingly puts the chain around his neck, that his belief in a fixed future is makes him easy to possess and control. His actions in Season Four support this notion, because Saiou ends up wanting his powers back because of the sense of control that seeing the future was able to give him. The idea that you can control or know the future is a comforting notion to some people, while insecurity and uncertainty over the future is deeply uncomfortable.

There's a quote I love from Choujin X that perfectly describes this very human tendency.

Humans are creatures who tend to put faith in uncertain possibilities, and prophesies are troublesome because they make the possible seem probable.

In other words prophecies provide a false belief of certainty in an otherwise completely random world. Saiou is definitely a victim of this tendency because even his good half so to speak acts completely helpless in the face of the Light instead of fighting back, and it takes Edo's encouragement in order to do so. Edo goes from saying that he wants to hold an umbrella over Saiou's head, to realizing simply standing there in the rain together underneath an umbrella isn't enough, they need to keep walking forward too.

In other words it's Saiou himself who puts on the shackles, and it's Saiou himself with Judai and Edo's help who has to throw them off. When Saiou is liberated from possession he also loses his ability to see the future, the very thing that made him destiny's puppet in the first place.

The World is also referenced by the episode title. It's Saiou's ace Arcana Force card which he uses against Edo, (though his true ace is the Light Ruler which he wins the duel with).

XXI - The World I am Transforming

The world is the last step of the fool's journey. It's the card of self-realization and self-fulfillment. The world is typically depicted a woman standing in the cnter of a wreath, surrounded with four images four astrological signs. The Lion is Leo, the Bull is Taurus, the cherub is Aquarius, and the Eagle is scoprio. These four signs also represent the four elements of aclehym, an fire sign, earth sign, air sign and water sign respectively.

The world represents the final step of the fool's journey, a journey of self-discovery.

"I found this quote about the World and it always strikes me as perfect: "One does not conquer the world, one discovers it." Kitchen Table Tarot

It also symbolizes the final step of alchemy, which is to create gold, or in a Jungian sense to finish individuation.

What can we say of an understanding, a freedom and rapture beyond words? The unconscious known consciously, the outer-self unified with the forces of life, knowledge that is not knowledge at all but a constant ecstatic dance of being - they are all true and yet not true. The purpose of this card can be described as that of uniting ourslves with all thos things seen in trump 10 as the external vision, that is, fate, the workings of life, the element of existence. When the unity is acheived the symbols vanish, dissolved into a dancing spirit. Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A book of Tarot

The most important aspect of The World in this case is spiritual unity. Yu-Gi-Oh and its various spinoffs is after all, the friendship show about friendship. Though I'd argue that Yu-Gi-Oh surpasses the typical "solve everything with nakama speeches" of the Shonen Genre by showing that showing friendships can be conflict ridden, even trying at times, especially in Season 3 which shows the difficulty of trying to save a friend when they are in a self-destructive spiral. The difference between Yu-Gi-Oh! and other shonen manga is that it's themes of friendship are more solid because these friendships are continually tested and tried.

Friendship in this case also means an alchemical union, alchemy is symbolic of the bonds between people. In order to make a bond stronger it has to be broken and reforged again the same way that alchemy's chemical reactions melt down metals and reforge them as something purer.

The unity aspect of the world shows not only what Edo needs to do to reach Saiou, (The holding out the Umbrella under the rain metaphor) but also it foreshadows the union between Judai and Yubel in season 3. In both cases the solution is a union, and in both cases it's not an easy union because Saiou is in conflict with Edo, and Yubel is in conflict with Judai.

Afterwards Saiou has to reform his sense of self without his powers (something he struggles to do in season 4) and Juadi / Yubel has to reform themselves (once again his entire character arc in Season 4) after all the changes they've endured. The World is a card of transformation and once the transformation is complete there's nothing to do but go out into the world and face it, just like when children are finished growing into adults the final test is for them to leave their parents home and embark on a journey out into the world.

There we go every tarot reference in Yu Gi Oh - oh wait I forgot one. One last Tarot card for the road.

XI - The Justice I am balancing

Judai: I am going to save Ed - and you know that goes for the lives of everyone in the world, too! Saiou: Oh? Playing superhero are we?

In this conversation Saiou calls out Judai's decision to gamble with the fate of everyone else on earth, by trying to save Edo instead of just throwing the key into the ocean so Saiou can never get access to the satellite. It's a very selfish, and very Judai-like decision.

I'd say that this is again setup for Season 3 which goes more in-depth into Judai's tendency to make decisions like these, only looking at saving the person in front of him instead of the big picture. From a simple utilitarian perspective you should sacrifice Edo to save the rest of the humans on earth, but life is more complex than just the trolley problem.

There are some times when Judai's desire to save one person over the group is a bad thing, such as when his fixation on saving Johan leads to a situation where the rest of his friends get killed because of his self-centered thinking.

There are times when the characters admit they aren't trying to be a hero just save a friend, Jim Crocodile Cook and August O'Brien save Judai not because it's the heroic thing to do but because they want to help their friend - it's something they admit is selfish on their part. A lot of Season 3 is showing that heroes aren't just slaves to justice and right and wrong and they can often make selfish decisions, but also putting one person over the many isn't necessarily a bad thing.

The utilitarian thing to do would be to kill Saiou, to kill supreme king Judai and then later kill Yubel for the sake of the world, but is that really going to be the solution in the friendship anime about friendship? Especially in an anime that borrows so heavily from Jungian themes, in Jung the solution is not to kill your shadow but unite with it.

Invoking the Justice in this Situation basically symbolizes this conflict between saving your friends and saving the world. As I said Yu Gi Oh Gx doesn't really give a definite answer on the "Needs of the Few vs. the Needs of the Many" debate it just portrays it as something complciated.

I always thought that the Justice card was male, but then I did some research and found that it's based on Athena. If you look at the card, there is no water. This is a bit unusual for tarot cards, particularly in the major arcana. No water? No emotion. This card is about being critical and impartial. There is no room for empathy. Everything in this card is even. The roes are symmetrical, the pillars are parallel, and the sword held straight up balance the scales hanging straight down. She (justice) will start moving as soon as she makes her decision and will carry it out. Justice is about action. Also don't forget that she's holding a sword. The swords suit is about intellect. If you can imagine that Justice is holding the Ace of Swords, you can get an idea of the pragmatism that lives in this card. When this comes up in a reading you have to take all of your emotions out of the decisions you need to make.

Justice is primarily about two things, it's about removing emotion from the equation, and also about balance. Once again I think this is foreshadowing a later conflict, because for the first two seasons Judai makes all of his decisions with his emotions and that works out for him for the most part, until it doesn't.

Judai deciding to surrender the key to save Edo is a purely emotional decision on his part, he's not really weighing the life of Edo against the world he just wants to save Edo.

Judai's decision making is pretty biased but it's not entirely wrong either, like what's the point of calling yourself a hero if you don't even try to make an effort to save somebody in trouble right in front of you.

He's also following the concept of alchemy, as above, so below. That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like that which is above.

In other words decisions in the microcosmos (the world of humans) affect decisions in the macrocosmos (the heavens). This alchemical premise that the decisions you make in your everyday life ripples out to affect the world, because everything is connected, is woven into the show itself. Neos literally tells Judai that his duel against Saiou on earth, will also ripple out and effect the cosmos.

Judai's reasoning isn't entirely selfish, why can't he try to take a third option and save both Edo and the World?

Which is I think why we're invoking the justice here, Judai does in fact need to learn to remove his emotions and think pragmatically, he spends basically all of season 3 and 4 doing just that - but too much cold reason is just tipping the scales in the other direction. There's no such thing as a completely objective person, in the end Judai is a human being making a decision.

Jim, and later August's decision to save Judai when he becomes the Supreme King is a selfish one because they're putting Judai above the world, but they're also teenagers, and they admit that they're not being heroes of justice they're just kids who want to save their friend.

So the Justice here indicates the very balanced take on justice and heroism that the show gives us. People can't completely embody justice because they are biased unlike lady justice herself, however you can't compeletely decide things based on your emotions either because that will blind you to the consequences of your actions. Judai's selfish desire to save Johan and play hero in Season 3 hurts his friends because he only thinks of his own feelings, not the bigger picture or the feelings of his friends.

Honestly this whole concept of love vs. justice that GX is trying to balance reminds me of an anecdote I heard in church from my childhood where the priest was ruminating on god and faith and he basically said, that you can't have justice without love, because without love to guide it Justice becomes cold and unfeeling and basically becomes just about punishment.

That seems to me what GX is trying to tell us with Saiou, and then later Supreme King Haou, and Yubel's arcs. That yes all three of them did bad things, things that hurt other people. Justice demands that they be stopped, and that they face some sort of consequences for their actions. However, justice without any sort of love is just punishment.

Maybe Saiou, Judai and Yubel deserve punishment for their actions, they hurt a lot of people, but they themselves were hurt too. Killing them for the greater good is certainly an option, and maybe that is justice but there's no love in the action.

You could say that Yubel deserves to die for the sins they committed, but every soul lost that could have been saved is still a life lost.

Judai could have killed Saiou for the sake of the world, but because he saved Saiou, Edo spends the next two seasons selflessly helping Judai in thanks for Judai deciding to help his friend.

Jim and O'Brien could have killed Supreme King Judai for the greater good, but the decision to save Judai later saves Yubel as well because if Judai had died do you think anyone would have been left to stop Yubel?

Saving Yubel is also a part of Judai's own atonement arc because from Season 4 on, both him and Yubel are able to work together to help bring balance between humans and duel spirits.

Therefore the solution comes in finding the balance between love and justice.

In the friendship anime about friendship, helping your friends is a good thing and abandoning your friends is a bad thing.

In other words, I could have summarized this entire overly long post in one sentence. I wrote way too many words about the Card Games Anime TM but congratulations to all of you who read until the end - here's a cookie!

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purplink8 · 2 months ago

Note

Ok, you convinced me. Light is not a sociopath

I would say Light is a Narcissist because his motivations and behaviours can be explained with this criteria. All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself.

I agree that Light isn't a psychopath or a sociopath since he's whole world view and motivations can be explained by Narcissism, however he can still have "Antisocial" traits such as lack of emotional control, impulsivity, break rules to fulfill their goals, etc (criminal traits, not necessarily psychopathy/sociopathy traits).

You can see this clearly on Ted Bundy because he is very Narcissistic but also has antisocial traits, WITHOUT having any of the cognitive impairments of the psychopath or sociopath.

Ted started killing women after his ex girlfriend rejected him, this hurt his ego and this triggered his anger, so he started to vent by killing women that looked like her (dark hair, line in the middle,etc).

We can see his Narcissism on his motivation (ego, rejection) and his Antisocial traits on his killing (impulsive, lack of control) however we can also see his empathy: He would let go some women because they had a daughter just like him or they liked the same radio station.

Ted even said that he didn't like talking to his victims much because otherwise it made it harder for him to kill them, this is a twisted and selfish version of empathy, but it's there…

The only one that could probably classify as a psychopath (if he was human) is Ryuk.

I wonder if you mean narcissism in general (as just a personality trait) or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) specifically? If it's the latter then I'm afraid that I shall not discuss it any further as my knowledge about psychology is very limited and it would be unfair of me to share my uninformed (for the most part) views. Nevertheless, I will allow myself to state that I (personally) don't believe that Light has NPD or any other personality disorder for that matter.

If it's the former (i.e. narcissism outside the clinical sense, i.e., one admiring (or being interested in) one's self way too much), I can see how you came to this conclusion. I still disagree as this headcanon is not for me. I'm not going to tell you to change your headcanon or anything (you do you, as the saying goes), I'll just give my opinions on why I don't think he's a Narcissist (even if we're speaking in colloquial terms). Moving on to your ask~

Ok, you convinced me. Light is not a sociopath I would say Light is a Narcissist because his motivations and behaviours can be explained with this criteria. All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself.

First of all, I'm glad that we're in mutual agreement of Light not being a sociopath. But I differ from your opinion that 'All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god', I guess the anime is to blame for this assessment of Light's character. I prefer the manga and will answer this ask in accordance with it. I'm linking this post again + this one (coz it's that important in fundamentally understanding Light's motivations for becoming Kira).

Let me reiterate my points on how Light's murders do not come for his idea of becoming a god in short.

Light finds the Death Note -> Tries it out of curiosity -> oh no! Otoharada *actually* dies -> must be a coincidence -> tests the Note again -> nope! definitely not a coincidence -> him, the model citizen, now a murderer of 2 people? -> let's get rid of this evil thing -> but hey that'd imply it was a mistake, wouldn't it? & Light Yagami doesn't make mistakes = it wasn't a mistake -> it was all for the good of this world!

Observe Light's thinking here:

"...But come on, I can't quit. So I lose my peace of mind. So I sacrifice people's lives...Somebody has to do this!! The world needs to be cleaned up."

There is no mention of planning to become a God of the New world, instead it sounds more like someone dying as a martyr for his cause.

Before meeting Ryuk, Light views using the notebook as a necessary sacrifice of his peace of mind and of other people's lives for the betterment of the world. The important thing to note here is that it's Light telling Ryuk from his POV but the readers should know better than to fall for Light's words. From the moment Ryuk arrived, he is putting on a performance.

So what's the truth? His first 2 kills were unintentional, we know that. Light thought that he was doomed to lose his life/soul for the sin of using a Death God's notebook, we also know that. Combine these two facts with:

Light doesn't make mistakes. Especially not on such an enormous scale;

Light is an ambitious fellow of mere 17 years. He hasn't had a chance of finding his life's purpose this young. If he were to die now, he'd not be able to achieve his life's purpose; respectively.

And we can conclude that all of Light's actions are due to him denying vehemently to himself that he fucked up (his first two kills) + he's scared of dying (at the Shinigami's hands) without making any noticeable difference in the world. These reasons contribute to him killing a LOT of criminals with heart attacks before Ryuk's arrival.

But Light does say this to Ryuk:

"And I...will reign over a new world."

So yeah, an explanation from my side is due, which will be given shortly. Let's break it down:

Till now, I have provided the reasons why Light went on his killing spree. What about his infamous 'God complex' that seemed to appear out of nowhere? The answer will be found once we understand why Light reacts the way he does to Ryuk.

He screams and falls on the floor as he sees Ryuk:

He, internally, believes that Ryuk will kill him for using the notebook and that's why he tries to buy his time, so he may persuade Ryuk otherwise.

He holds eye contact with Ryuk as he gets up.

And says, "I'm not surprised to see you, Ryuk. In fact...I've been waiting for you..." Read what's between the lines. Light wants Ryuk to believe that killing him would be a waste as he's 'not like other humans'. He shows him the Note containing all the names he's written in the span of just 5 days:

And Light's keikaku (to stay alive for as long as possible after the Shinigami's arrived) so far is working! We know this as Ryuk is positively impressed by how Light has surpassed his expectations. "Most people would be too scared." This is exactly what Light was hoping for, the chances that Ryuk would kill this particular human, who is not like most people, has decreased somewhat, in Light's POV.

You wouldn't kill a bird that lays golden eggs, now would you? In any case, Light has established to Ryuk that he's a special human, different from others. Light is still scared that Ryuk would kill him that he has to confirm it with the latter:

Only for Ryuk to inform him that nope, he won't do anything to Light.

When Light double-checks with Ryuk is there really is no price for using the death note, Ryuk tells him that when Light dies, Ryuk'll be the one writing his name down. Translation- Ryuk will, for sure, write his name into his notebook someday to kill Light.

A Death God will be the judge of how long you'll live. What do you do?

Ask him more questions, of course, such as 'Why did you choose me?' To get what Ryuk's deal is. What he wants. To figure out if there's a way to please him so that Light may live a longer life probably. Ryuk's answer that he didn't choose Light, he just dropped it and Light happened to pick it up does not benefit Light in the slightest. He has to work out Ryuk's motivations fast; lest he be killed.

Ryuk dropped the Death Note in the human world because he was bored.

What's the impression Light got from this? How can he use this information to his advantage? See for yourself:

Light, at the earliest opportunity he gets, attempts to establish a connection with Ryuk, a common ground if you will, by saying that he killed all those people because he was "bored too..."

Just how true is that statement? Compare it with these reasons I gave previously behind Light's actions:

"And we can conclude that all of Light's actions are due to him denying vehemently to himself that he fucked up (his first two kills) + he's scared of dying (at the Shinigami's hands) without making any noticeable difference in the world. These reasons contribute to him killing a LOT of criminals with heart attacks before Ryuk's arrival."

Light *is* bored at the start of canon but that isn't the only reason for his actions/killings. So why the alteration?

I believe it's because his story of sacrificing himself for the good of the whole world will likely not be appealing to Ryuk. We know this as we can see just how less of fucks Ryuk gives to how Light's affected by killing other humans.

The 'Okay.' says it all lmao

In all seriousness, this issue isn't lost on Light, he decides that he needs to up the entertainment factor for Ryuk to avoid getting killed. He changes his behavior accordingly. He won't mention that he planned on dying a martyr for his cause as that sounds boring as hell. What he will mention is:

"I'm going to make the whole world know I'm here...that somebody is passing righteous judgment on them!!" which is infinitely more entertaining than the truth (that even Light won't admit to himself (i.e., him covering his fuck-ups by denying it was a fuck-up via performing even more fuck-ups intentionally)).

After all, what can be more entertaining than a teenager trying his hand to play God of the new world?

What I'd like to point out is: Light does not have a 'God' complex (at least in the beginning of the story). He says "I will reign over a new world." which means he views becoming a 'God' as a power he'll gain in the future by killing people. If he did have a God complex at this juncture in time, he'd say 'I am the God of the new world.' I don't think he means God in a religious context, he means the power to make his own rules in his own world as God.

And y'know what? Light's plan works! Ryuk's very excited about watching Light's 'aspirations' to Godhood unfold:

From this point onward, all his murders come from the fact that he needs to entertain Ryuk (as Light knows all too well that him being alive + given the Note is in exchange for Ryuk having fun) NOT from his idea of becoming a God.

Again I don't quite agree with your opinion that 'and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself'.

It's close to the truth but not quite the truth imho. Like yes I agree his trigger is being called "evil", and sometimes he does get impulsive when his ego is being attacked (insert L saying 'Kira is childish & hates losing') yeah. But like his image of himself isn't that idealized. He's used to being the best yet after becoming Kira, it's hard for him to continue insisting that he's righteous but he does it anyway.

However, he does know in his heart that what he's doing is evil. And that's why he can't shake it off when his father says this re: Kira:

He's not so impulsive here, I'd say. Even when his image is being reflected on negatively by his own dad. After his dad's death, he admits to the task force that Kira probably thinks what he's doing is evil. That's why I say that his self-image isn't that idealized.

Light has tremendous confidence, to be sure. And this is reinforced by the results he achieves in his life too. Narcissists tend to have an exaggerated sense of importance but that isn't the case for Light. Because he IS the number 1 in Japan, no question about it + no exaggeration on Light's part to think so, as it's proven by the national test scores.

Gentle reminder that there is no need for explaining any character's evil actions by a mental illness/personality disorder. I don't think he has Narcissism. I also believe that there's not a case to be made for his lack of emotional control when we repeatedly see Light (and ridicule him for it) of being too in control over his emotions. For instance, when L revealed his identity and Light was nonchalance personified. When L accused Light of being Kira, and Light's response was:

So! As we can see Light Yagami maintains a stringent control over his emotions. What happened during the Lind. L. Tailor incident was not a consistent habit of his. Light is the opposite of impulsive, he spends so much of his time thinking what his next move will be so I feel it won't do justice to his character if we call him impulsive.

Yes, he does break rules to fulfil his goals, like killing, hacking etc.

I'm not knowledgeable about irl murderers (& psychology )who may or may not be narcissist so apologies for not replying to that portion of your ask.

The only one that could probably classify as a psychopath (if he was human) is Ryuk.

I can't see Ryuk as being a psychopath. I'd say to tell me your reasoning for this judgment of yours but then again, I don't have sufficient knowledge to have informed views on this.

In conclusion, Light's murders are not due to his god complex, or his narcissism (I don't think Light has narcissism. Period.)

#death note #light yagami #ryuk #mangacaps #p #litralyme #asks #my meta

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