#most of the specific dates are pulled from wikipedia

[savebatsfromscratch]

Current events rant time.

Sorry, I don't normally post stuff like this, but this pissed me off so fucking bad. I had to. I had to. What the hell.

(Disclaimer before I really start: I am not an Alaskan Native, like, at all, but I have had a bit of a special interest in Alaska for almost my entire life, and as a result I've spent a LOT (and I mean a LOT) of time studying Alaska's history and geography. That being said, I am nowhere near an expert, I am very sorry for any mistakes.)

(Disclaimer two: This is a rant. I am not very organized in my thoughts, I am extremely angry.)

So this fucks me up. It's not even that bad in the grand scheme of things, but it is pissing me off because of how blatantly rude and dismissive it is.

Okay. An affront to a person's life, achievements, and sacrifice by taking away a name that is relevant to them. Interesting. You know what else did that? Renaming the mountain to Mount McKinley in the first place!

The mountain was named some variation of/something similar to "Denali" for thousands of years, and then some gold prospector in 1896 "named" it McKinley. As. A. Political. Statement. It was officially called that in 1917, 16 years after president McKinley was assassinated. Idk about anyone else, but that sure sounds like an affront to the lives, achievements, and sacrifice of the Koyukon Athabaskans who lived (and still live) in that area! Call me crazy, but I feel like changing the name back is kind of, not nice?!

Aren't the entire group (no, groups) of people connected to that and similar names a larger affront than to McKinley? God, he didn't even GO THERE. He was from Ohio. NOT ALASKA. The name wasn't (originally) even to honor him, he wasn't even a president yet!

In 1975 the state was pushing to call the mountain Denali again because it was the name most often used by the people actually living near it. 1975. That's fifty fucking years ago. I know, there are lots of people around from before then, but guess what? I'm sure some of them are the people who actually live near the mountain! I'm sure some of them are Koyukon Athabaskans!

That fight continued until 1915. That's forty years. Forty years where Alaska as a state fought against the rest of the US (mostly Ohio though) to get their mountain renamed.

It's not even that bad in the grand scheme of things, but, oh my God?? How can someone be that dismissive of an entire group of people and call themselves a Christian??? Like, stripped the McKinley name, an affront to his life and achievements and sacrifice, okay sure, maybe it kinda does. But, you know, stripping the ACTUAL NAME from the place is an affront the the lives and achievements and sacrifice of both the original people who lived there when they were colonized, and anyone descended from them, who fought for the changing of the name back to one of the rightful ones???

It pisses me off so fucking bad.

Like.

Hell.

But, if anyone wants to know, r/alaska is the most united I have ever seen them. ...in disgust and rage at this fucking executive order, I might add.

(Another note: The Dena'ina people, used another name for the mountain ("Dghelay Ka'a") but both this and "Denali" have to do with the size of the mountain. The big one, the high one, etc. "Denali" was chosen by the Alaska Board of Geographic Names because of how widespread it use was and is.)

Some highlights from r/Alaska under the cut (some are very relevant to the point I was making, some a bit less so.):

(That is a LOT of upvotes for this subreddit. There are usually about 2 to 20.)

(And that? Good Lord.)

And this fucking shit:

(Like I, they, are not fucking pleased about the other executive order about Alaska, but I do not have enough time to get into that without blowing my lid. So. They're getting rid of the rule to have no roads in that one forest, they are increasing oil drilling, they are ruining the fucking environment and naming it stupid shit and they know we can do fuck all about it. Honestly? Wish I could fall asleep and just. Not wake up. At least not for four years.)

to be clear I do NOT want to die, I just don't see how these environmental policies will make it so I can live in the future, I felt fine outside with a skirt and a thin jacket and it was negative two degrees F I will not do well

Okay. That's all. I'm done. (I'm not, but I just can't type through the rage fueled tears anymore. I have class at nine this is too fucking stupid to deal with anymore.)

[matan4il]

Most of the time, I don't bother talking about the hate and harassment I get, because I don't think haters deserve the attention. The person I'm gonna write about definitely doesn't deserve any, but they've started harassing others that I know of, not just me.

So this is basically a warning post for Jewish bloggers and bloggers who are allies to Jews, and a request for anyone who can, to report and block this person (if you want to warn other bloggers, then please consider a reblog, too). @staff, This is also for you, proof of a pattern of harassment and abuse. Please do something and protect your Jewish users and their allies.

They first commented here, denying the antisemitism of Hamas, with the url @grizzlyismyspiritanimal and they seem to change their url quite frequently. For now it's @fancowboy but expect that to change again. Since IDK if Tumblr will let the mention (@'ing their url) hyperlink to their blog, here's how you can check out what their current url is, so you can report and block them. Go to this post where they're tagged as @grizzlyismyspiritanimal and hover your mouse over their url, you'll see their blog pop up no matter what new url they changed to. Here's a screenshot of what that looks like:

Here's their first comment on my post, along with my reply. Tumblr arranges these comments with the oldest at the bottom, click to see the image better:

Of course they never provided a link sourcing their claim, instead they provided a link to an op ed, which was not written by anyone affiliated with Hamas. This link did not support their claim that "Hamas specifically stated," but that didn't stop them from ignoring the fact that they couldn't prove their claim. Next, they repeated an already refuted antisemitic conspiracy theory (and I linked them to a refuting source, which they just ignored), while using strawmen arguments (attacking statements I didn't make). Obviously, none of this addresses the point actually made in the post they were commenting on.

When I called them out on the antisemitism of their whole narrative, they pulled the "I can't be antisemitic, because I'm Jewish" line of defense, while also bragging in the same comment about not going the easy route by doing that:

I no longer believe people who say antisemitic things, and then use this defense, after several have been proven to have lied about being Jewish, but more importantly, and this is the point I made to @fancowboy, Jews are not immune to internalizing antisemitism, and repeating antisemitic narratives. But I was curious whether there was any sign of this person having any sense of a significant Jewish identity on their blog. When I went on there, one of the first posts I came acorss was an antisemitic one, claiming that Jews have stolen the Star of David from the Muslims... I know there are a lot of anti-Zionist Jews out there, and that many of them are very capable of saying antisemitic things, but I don't think even they would endorse this false claim.

What's ironic is that the post shares a screenshot from Wikipedia, which explicitly mentions that this Muslim kingdom that existed in the 13th century AD (roughly 700 years ago), adopted the six-pointed star, due to the Muslim belief that it was a symbol on the ring ("seal") of King Solomon, a Jewish king who lived about 3,000 years ago. In other words, this post literally points out that Muslims borrowed this symbol from Jews, not the other way around. And just for historical interest, the first archeological find of Jews using the Star of David is dated to the 6th century BC (around 2,600 years ago).

I pointed out to @grizzlyismyspiritanimal / @fancowboy that I no longer believe they're Jewish, because I don't believe any Jew would reblog this antisemitic lie. In response, not long after, this "I'm not a coward" and "you would've blocked me (aka fanatic)" person blocked me. Instead of addressing what I said, or taking responsibility for their wrongdoing, and deleting this antisemitic post. Our exchange started on Jan 5 IIRC, this post was reblogged by them on Jan 4, and as of Jan 25 it is still on their blog, as you can see here (post and current date highlighted in this screenshot):

A minute after they blocked me from the above blog, they commented on my pinned post with links to my fandom content from another blog, @verygardenerland and this comment made it clear that it was the same person. I made a mistake, I wanted my fandom space free from antisemitic harassment, so I deleted that comment, which means I don't have that piece of evidence that it's the same person, but I do have another bit of proof. Remember how this person claimed to be Jewish? This is how they presented it:

(again, using a strawmen, I never said all Muslims are terrorists, and never would, because it's simply not true, and if anyone made that claim to me, I would be correcting them)

Well, this is the VERY similar way @verygardenerland talked about their supposed Jewish identity, in a post they made solely to harass and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) me:

Jews were almost completely ethnically cleansed from Muslim majority countries, so the likelihood of a random online stranger being a Jew from a Muslim country is generally incredibly low to almost non-existent, and two who just so happen to both harass me on my blog one minute apart is probably less statistically likely than winning the lottery.

It's poetic irony that the one comment the above post got from another blogger, is someone else also calling this person out on the antisemitism of what they're saying:

Gotta love the bonus misogyny with "bitch."

I'm also going to offer you this following antisemitic comment (which distorts the Holocaust, and refers to Jews insultingly as "the chosen ones"), which I also don't believe any person with an actual Jewish identity would make:

And here's also one of the last comments this person made from @fancowboy before blocking me on that blog and continuing from @verygardenerland. Just notice how we have the same antisemitic abuse themes from both of these blogs:

Once more, extra touch of misogyny with "that much of a pussy."

(I have to address the white phosphorus claim. There are 2 ways of using it in battle, one legal, the other's not. Israel stated that when using it, that's only in the legal way. There is no record to show the contrary. People just exploit the fact it's used, to pretend it's automatically illegal. But I accept this is an antisemitic libel against the Jewish state, that sadly some Jews might repeat. The rest is what makes me think this person isn't Jewish)

@verygardenerland noticed I write fandom meta, and harassed me on these posts. Here's one example:

Then they searched related tag/s, and proceeded to harass me by calling me names in comments they left on random posts from other fandom members. These are posts that had nothing to do with me. One of the people on whose post they were calling me a Nazi is someone I have never even spoken to. The OP deleted the harassing comment, but this time I did get a screenshot before that, so here it is, as an example:

Now, on top of all of the above, @verygardenerland also started stalking my main blog at the same time they made their first comment from this url, as well as my two back up blogs. One's last post was on Mar 2022, the other's on Apr 2021, so it's completely pointless to follow them, other than as an intimidation tactic:

And they sent me anon hate. The thing is, they made it explicitly clear through what they said and the language they used, that it's them. They sent more than one message, but the one I'll attach here was obviously meant to freak me out the most, because it falsely starts out as a fandom ask, and then transitions into abusive language, as well as telling me there's more blogs they're stalking me from, basically making it clear that even if I block this url, I'll still not be safe from their stalking and abuse:

From a certain point on, I told them that whenever they make a comment to me, all I'll do is just remind them repeatedly that they're an antisemite, which is exactly what I've kept to. That's when I even bothered to respond. I postponed blocking their second blog, 'coz I wanted to put this post together first. Now I'm done with them.

To wrap this up, here are some final screenshots of their antisemitic abuse, how they obsessively comment on my posts, or posts that in their mind are related to me, and how they have started directly addressing random people who are commenting on my posts, telling them not to talk to "it," meaning they're also using de-humanizing language when referring to me, and of course once more employing the DARVO tactic by accusing me of that which they're guilty of:

My activity feed yesterday:

And not just yesterday. Love the bonus hateful language towards those who are disabled...

And this is just one of their comments on a post simply mourning the death of Israeli soldiers, and putting it in the context of multi-generational Jewish trauma:

To summarize again, please:

report and block this person

reblog this post if you feel comfortable to, in order to warn others

@staff please do something to stop the abuse. Thank you in advance!

[verdemoun]

Hello there! I love the blog, have been stalking it for a while, and finally have a question worth asking

How are the Gang Members remembered by whatever niche historians decide to study the Van Der Lindes in depth? Were the "lesser" members like Kieran and Sean even remembered at all? Did John ever get historical vindication? What the hell do modern philosophers think of Dutch VDL and his ranting? What do the Timewarp gang members think about this?

Also feel free to use this as an excuse to talk about whoever you'd like, I was just giving examples.

Sorry if this is rude!

Please never be afraid of being rude this is such a fun ask.

I imagine the gang would be remembered very similarly to the Dalton gang irl, or Captain Moonlight (Australia and LGBT history represent, ask for an infodump). Which is - not very well and widely speculated on based on biased newspaper articles of the era!

There is a wikipedia article on the gang listing off ALL the gang members and their years active, but it is significantly shorter than the articles on the 1911 gangs. Multiple movies were also based on the VDLs, which I've posted here.

Bill, John, Hosea and Dutch are the four best remembered, with a lot of historians being absolutely fascinated by the fact that Bill and Dutch rode in the VDLs together only to part ways and both go on to be leaders of extremely violent gangs that seemed to be in conflict with the original VDL code.

John is somehow the most controversial VDL, with the evidence having been released but the modern era bureau never making a formal statement that John was coerced by the agency to hunt down Bill, Javier and Dutch. Historians are neatly divided, with some arguing there's literal evidence of Jack and Abigail being held on vague charges by the agency on dates that happen to coincide with John hunting down the gang, ergo he was blackmailed, while others argue John had always wanted to hunt down the gang for the legendary still-missing Blackwater Massacre money and started killing the former gang much earlier than 1911.

Micah is literally only remembered for being 'the first gang member John Marston killed', to his own distain.

Naturally, all the women in the gang were forgotten. Some particularly charming 'vanderlindonians'/redditors still argue that Sadie, who had her own infamy as a vicious bounty hunter, was actually a man and Sadie was a nickname for Sadler Adler.

Ironically, Sean and Kieran specifically are actually well remembered for their alliances outside of the gang.

Due to Sean being the son of Irish folk hero Darragh Macguire, what little is remembered about his life has been widely documented and the burning of the Greys' tobacco fields has been correctly attributed to him.

Kieran Duffy, who has previously been a leader of his own gang, is remembered for his previous gang's activity but 'went missing' in 1888 (when he was captured by the O'Driscolls and later the VDLs). Kieran's gang and the pre-1899 VDLs are often compared by historians due to both being gangs with ''moral'' codes.

^^ This is also how most of the VDLs found out about Kieran's mysterious past as former army man and later gang leader. Whenever they try to ask him about it Kieran pulls 'i'm just a baby' because he is more than eager to forget his past.

Bessie has read almost every essay released about the gang, as well as all newspaper articles from across the decades. Sometimes when she's enjoying a bottle of wine with Hosea she'll read them aloud. Most of the time it's hilarious wrong and they'll both be holding their sides laughing, such as John hunting down Micah actually being a lover's quarrel and they were both ratting on the gang to the Pinkertons only for John to get greedy.

Sometimes it'll be a little too close to home and Hosea will just go quiet - such as one essay suggesting Hosea was the planner and voice of reason in the gang, not Dutch, and after his death the surviving gang members were doomed to follow their darkest human instincts for their own survival.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 3: Part Fifteen

My Idol from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

.

You never realized how much of a problem it would be to feel too much. Paralyzed with the abject fear of facing the mountain you were about to climb; it was tempting to completely detach. Numb yourself so the emotions surging to the forefront would be a gentle gurgle rather than a raging tidal wave.

If only it were that easy.

Sitting on the edge of the couch in the greenroom of a soundstage, you felt so small. People bustled around you, dabbing makeup under your eyes or pulling at the fabric of your clothes so it would fold in a more flattering way. Staff shouted from one end of the room to the other, counting down the mere minutes it would take to get you out on stage.

This was it. Your first My Idol Voting Special. Tonight, you would lose three men who never really even got a chance. Parting ways with any of them left a lump in your throat, although, you could admit, some more than others.

Your most recent date had been a whirlwind. Hoshi had prepared something so elaborate and wild; you hadn't even spent the full amount of time with him. In getting to know his members though, it was like understanding a little piece of his personality that you hadn't gotten to explore with the other men. You got to see where he came from and the people who influenced him as he grew up. Topping it off with an intimate dinner to really dig into his personality was the perfect ending to a chaotic night. Kind, silly, and energetic, he was exactly what you were expecting and so much more.

The date before Hoshi's had also become an incredibly important memory. Not only did Chan show up on your doorstep with a fish friend, but he provided you a bit of solace as well. It didn't occur to you during your date to listen to the recording he had left in your stuffed wolf, but you had listened to it on repeat the past few days when you needed his words the most. "Trust me, you're doing amazing! Even if you're just surviving, you're doing the hardest thing! And you're doing great at it!"

While Hyungwon's date didn't necessarily end on a high note, it did start on one. Okay, that was a lie. It had taken you awhile to grow comfortable with one another, but that was to be expected. You couldn't hit it off immediately with every date you met. When you did start to become friendlier with one another, though, you had the time of your life. The thought of giggling and teasing each other still made your heart skip a beat when you looked back. Not to mention, the feeling of holding on to him while on the back of his motorcycle was something you would never forget.

Before Hyungwon, came Jackson, a man who was passion incarnate. You loved learning about his amazing heart and the care he took in comforting his parents while in another country. He showed you a view of Seoul you had never seen before and swooped in when you knew the producers were looking to embarrass you. Like a few of the other men, you considered sealing your date with a kiss, and had come dangerously close in his instance. You were left sizzling for hours after.

San, your mountain, had been your third outing. While he wasn't there to see your apartment get broken into, he was one of the first to pick up the pieces after it happened. It wasn't just his generous gift that helped with your immense amount of loss, but his sunshiny disposition about life and love. The man was the epitome of a walking green flag, even after the two of you had been rushed by an overenthusiastic fan. He was protective and calm, making sure you knew none of what had transpired was your fault. You'd be okay with remaining his "dubu" for the foreseeable future.

Sweet and spunky Hongseok had really shaped a lot of your My Idol experience. After what had happened at your apartment, he set the bar for how safe a person could make you feel in the face of adversity. You could never repay him for everything he did that night. Before that disaster, his date was idyllic. It was another that didn't start out the most smoothly, but by the time the awkwardness had eased, he swept you off your feet with every other sentence. The butterflies in your stomach had taken flight over and over again.

Then there was the very first date that started everything, Jungkook. You hadn't known what to expect from this show, but it definitely wasn't the comfort and ease of your interactions with him. At this point, you could easily say that you had a crush and may have from the moment you set your eyes on his. He seemed to "get you" on a level that most couldn't. The hours you spent talking seemed to few. It was easy to think of him almost every day since your initial interaction and even if he didn't get to move on, you'd be thinking of him long after this was all settled.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice broke you from your thoughts.

Looking up from spot on the wall you had chosen to dissociate on, you found Insu's smiling face in front of you. "You ready?"

"Not even remotely," you croaked, shaking your head.

"Well," he sighed, crossing his arms. "If it makes you feel better, the security is really well planned for tonight."

Inhaling sharply, you tried not to let his comment cause you to spiral. You knew he meant it to comfort you, but you hadn't even thought to consider the possible dangers of sitting in front of a live audience for hours. A mismatch of My Idol fans and kpop stans had likely already begun flooding the rows that would face you. How could you expect the security to catch every possible danger?

"Great," you managed through a cringe. "Thanks."

"No problem," he said, furrowing his brow as he assessed you. "Look Y/N, if this is too overwhelming, you don't have-"

"Y/N," a member of production smiled as she pivoted into the green room. "It's time."

Gnawing on your lip, you looked from her and back to Insu. You offered a small, sad smile before pulling yourself to your feet.

It would be easy to give up, a relief even, but you weren't that person. Plus, if you were, it would've been after your house was ransacked and your fish was murdered.

Squaring your shoulders and taking a deep breath, you nodded to yourself. You could do this.

You had to.

.

It was incredible how warm it was under the stage lights. You were very grateful that the staff had dressed you in black because you were certain you had started sweating from places you weren't even sure you could sweat from.

At least one perk of the too bright lighting was that you couldn't see a single audience member. If you thought too hard on it, it would have been concerning, but you wouldn't allow yourself. You would firmly be operating under the "If I can't see them, they can't see me" assumption.

Shifting in your seat, you watched as the camera crew began to count down the far too put together host. She beamed at you, waiting, her canned smile at the ready.

Taking another round of deep breaths, you attempted to ground yourself. In a few hours, you wouldn't even have to worry about this moment anymore. You just had to make it through.

"Hello!" the host boomed, her gaze switching from you to the crowd you were certain she also could not see. "Welcome everyone, to the My Idol Live Results special! Are we all excited?!"

A loud cheer came from the bright fog in front of you, causing your smile to falter. It sounded like A LOT of people.

As the attendees began to quiet down, the host set her attention on you once again. "Y/N! It's so nice to see you this evening, you look amazing!"

"Thanks," you hummed, trying to fake the confidence you didn't have. "I appreciate that."

"Especially when you're probably not feeling too amazing," the host clucked with a frown. "You've gone through quite a lot this season, haven't you?"

"I have, unfortunately," you grimaced. "I didn't expect to be worrying about my life outside of the show while we were filming."

"But it looks like the show brought these unfortunate events directly to you," the host nodded. "Is it true that the police believe it was a fan who broke into your home earlier this season?"

"I can't really discuss the details now, as it's an ongoing case," you parroted from the My Idol lawyers you had been briefed by earlier. "It's a sad situation and I hope that whoever felt like they had the right to enter my home and destroy my belongings realizes the mistake they made."

"Does that mean there's still no sign of the burglar?"

You swallowed. "That's all I can say, I'm sorry."

"No matter!" the host sighed. "Why don't we go ahead and get this party started, shall we? Let's bring out our idols!"

The crowd swept up into another round of applause and cheers. The host rose to her feet, motioning for you to do as well. Your stomach did a small flip as you prepared to be face-to-face with all seven men again.

"Our first date hails all the way from the legendary halls of Hybe. The cool and sexy maknae of BTS, Jungkook!"

The crowd's enthusiasm was deafening as Jungkook emerged from the opposite side of the stage. Giving a small bow to both you and the host, Jungkook's eyes found yours again before he navigated toward the stool he would be sitting on. His crooked smile melted your heart as he continued to clap along with the crowd, waiting for the next contestant.

"Next we have our boyfriend full of muscle and charm, Pentagon's Hongseok!"

Hongseok appeared from the same wing Jungkook had, a smile wide on his face. Shooting a wink your way, he took his spot next to Jungkook. Giving the man beside him a small fist pump, they both turned again to look for the next contestant.

"A man who can move mountains because he is one himself, Ateez's San!"

You caught San's small eyeroll before he stepped onto the main stage and plastered on a shiny smile. His cheeks were blazing as he shuffled toward Hongseok and Jungkook. Once he secured his seating, he chanced a look at you, his expression sympathetic and warm.

"The owner of a smokey voice and heart of gold, we have Got7's Jackson!"

Jackson strolled onto the stage, his best smolder on full display. The air of confidence he held was something you thought even his fellow contestants could respect. Just as he took his spot beside San, he turned his head slightly, sticking his tongue out at you.

Letting out a short huff of laughter, you shook your head, causing him to laugh in turn. Leave it to Jackson to make light of such a stressful situation.

"He looks like he just walked out of a flower boy anime, Monsta X's Hyungwon!"

Hyungwon's furrowed brow and puckered lips told you everything he thought of his introduction. Making eye contact with you as he crossed the stage, you tried not to laugh again at his "wtf" face. You had to admit though, seeing him at the voting special was a sigh of relief. You had been half-convinced that he wouldn't show up after the egg incident.

"A leader who needs no introduction, the talented and powerful ace of Stray Kids, Bang Chan!"

Almost as soon as Chan's feet hit the stage he began bowing. First to you, then the host, and then each of the other contestants in turn. A shy smile danced across his lips before he took Hyungwon's hand in his and shook. Standing next to the significantly taller man, you tried not to giggle as he looked at you with a cringe-smile that lasted only seconds.

"And last, we have the mood maker and main dancer of Seventeen, Hoshi!"

This time you did laugh as Hoshi appeared on stage. Contradictory to his main dancer position, he was not in control and instantly stumbled over his own feet. Looking up sheepishly, he caught himself before actually falling to the stage. The tips of his ears were red as he shuffled toward Chan, taking the final empty seat.

"There we have it!" the host gushed, motioning toward the seven men that had dominated your life over the past few weeks. "Let's give these great guys another round of applause."

After several seconds of ear-splitting shouts, everyone finally settled down enough to take their seats.

It was difficult not to let your eyes linger on each man in turn, but you attempted to look at them as a whole. They were all so good looking and unique in their own ways. If you had been left to decide yourself, moving to the second round would have been impossible. They were all simply too good to be true.

"Y/N," the host said, spinning toward you. "How does it feel to see everyone again?"

"It feels great," you nodded, continuing not to look at anyone in particular. With all of their attention set on you, it was growing increasingly harder to seemingly ignore each of their individual existence. "I've missed all of them since we first met."

"Any one more than another?" the host grinned slyly before winking at the assembly of men to her left.

"We're okay not knowing!" Hoshi all but shouted, an instant embarrassed smile finding its way onto his face after he spoke. "Really, I don't need to know."

You let out a sigh of relief as Chan nodded as well. "Totally okay if you choose not to answer that."

"I'll pass then," you chuckled. "It's probably what's best for everyone."

"Do any of you think that Y/N might like you more than the others?" the host asked, pivoting back toward the men.

"I am by far the favorite," Hongseok grinned with a wink. "You can't convince me otherwise."

The group began to chuckle amongst themselves at Hongesok's boldness. It caused you to laugh as well.

"I dunno," Jackson hummed, sucking on his teeth. "I'm convinced otherwise, friend."

"Jackson," the host cooed. "Do you think you won Y/N over?"

"I feel good about it," he nodded with a smile. "But I also may not be the best at self-awareness, so I could be totally wrong."

"What about you San?" the host asked. "How do you think your date went over?"

"There were some complications," San laughed nervously. You had nearly forgotten about his injury, but the small flick of his eyes to his wrist made your stomach plummet. He was still sporting a wrap around the bulk of his arm, mostly covered by his dress shirt. "But I think we had fun overall."

"Complications, yes," the host nodded. "It seemed like this season was plagued by them. Chan, what do you think made this season different in that way?"

"Kpop is more accessible now than ever," Chan nodded thoughtfully. "It brings a lot of fans and focus to this show since so many members of different groups are participating. While we all love our fans, I think some may be thinking they need to defend us."

"I agree with that," Jungkook followed up. "I think Army means well, but they don't realize that I signed up for this show willingly. It's not Y/N's fault that we're all here. The fact that Y/N is being targeting so much is disheartening."

"Speak for yourself," Hyungwon groaned. "You didn't get eggs thrown at your head."

"At least they weren't rotten!" Hoshi gasped. "Sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay," you laughed, trying to push that memory as far down as possible. "Nothing a little cold shower can't fix."

"But it's not okay," Jackson insisted. "None of that should have ever happened in the first place."

"Hongseok," the host worked in. "How did it feel being the first date to really see the negative reaction to this season face to face?"

"Shocking," he nodded. "In a million years, I never would have expected for something like that to happen."

"How did it make you feel, Y/N?" the host turned. "And were you happy you had Hongseok there to comfort you? Even if he was still a relative stranger?"

"I felt lucky to have Hongseok there," you said quietly, unable to make eye contact with anyone. You knew that having to relive the memory of that night would happen multiple times during the voting special, but it didn't mean you liked it. "As soon as we saw the lock broken, my stomach dropped. I felt so lost."

"And you were meant to go on a date the next day as well?"

"San handled it like a champ," you smiled weakly. "When I may have been at my absolute lowest, he still made sure we had a great time."

"Even after there was yet another fan intervention?"

You looked up, catching San wince as he shook his head. "We were a little bit shaken, but it didn't dull the day. Y/N and I had so much fun playing together."

"Did the time you all spent with Y/N make up for the nerves you felt joining the program?"

"I think all of us were focused on making sure it was a good experience for Y/N," Chan nodded. "We wanted to protect them from all of the poor treatment that they had received."

"And in that experience," Jungkook picked up where Chan had left off. "I think I can speak for all of us when I say it was one of the best dates I had ever been on."

"Speak for yourself," Hongseok hummed, rolling his eyes sarcastically. "I've never been on a date in my life."

"So by default, it was the best one," Hoshi grinned, reaching down to pat the other man on the shoulder.

This caused the group to erupt into laughter. You knew Hongseok was trying to poke fun at how irrational fans could be when they found out the reality of their idol's dating, but it was true. They were all grown men and deserved to have that segment of their life just like anyone else.

"Well, why don't we see if one of you will get to have another amazing date then, hm?" the host grinned. "How does that sound?"

You furrowed your brow as you started to hear shouting from the audience. This wasn't the happy cheers that had filled the air before, but more of a frustrated bellow at the thought of an idol moving on in the competition.

Looking to the host, you saw her tilt her head and attempt to regain her composure. She must have heard it as well.

"Alright," she said, flipping through her cue cards at rapid speed. "The...the first idol to move on to the second round of dates is...

Jeon Jungkook!"

Pushing aside the nerves that had been set aflame by the momentary displeasure of the crowd, you allowed a smile to overtake your lips. Directing your focus toward Jungkook, your grin could only grow wider as his brows shot up.

"I made it through?" he gasped, crossing the stage toward you.

"You made it through!" you chuckled, allowing him to take you into his arms. Wrapping yourself around his waist, he draped his arms over your shoulders.

"This is so good!" he squeaked, shaking his head. "Like seriously the best."

Your heart felt full as he leaned away from you and studied your face. Lifting his fingers, he cupped one cheek before kissing the opposite side. Furrowing his brows, you saw him glance toward the crowd, only then cluing you in to the new noises surrounding you.

It was easy being lost in the bubble that was Jungkook, so you hadn't heard the reaction from the crowd in front of you. Listening more intently, you could make out what they had begun to chant "He's Our Idol! Not Your Idol!"

"What?" you croaked, immediately pulling away from Jungkook and taking a step back.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jungkook attempted to comfort the din of the crowd. "Guys-"

"HE'S OUR IDOL! NOT YOUR IDOL!"

The shouts turned to shrieks, seeming to grow louder and closer by the minute.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" the host attempted with a nervous laugh. "Why don't we all calm down? Do you want to hear who else made it through?"

"HE'S OUR IDOL! NOT YOUR IDOL!"

"Maybe not the best tactic," you could hear Hongseok cluck.

"Get them out of here!" you heard Hyuk's commanding voice yell somewhere in the wings.

Someone on the production crew had finally turned the stage lights down, allowing you to see what was happening for the first time. Dozens of fans were standing on their chairs, shouting, shaking their fists in the air, and holding signs.

Stumbling backwards, you weren't sure where to direct your attention. It felt like you had been forced to switch gears instantly, basking in Jungkook's win to automatically fearing what may come next.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as a fan broke through the line of security and began charging the stage. In the blink of an eye, several more fans had made it through.

"Y/N!" Jungkook cried, just as you saw a fan rush the stage and twine themselves around his arm. Instinctively reaching out for him, you were yanked backward by someone you couldn't see.

The crowd had started rushing the stage like ants. There had been no warning, but they were flooding every available inch around you. You gasped as another person pushed you to the ground, nearly trampling you to get to the idols at the opposite end of the platform.

"Come on!" you heard Insu growl into your ear, yanking you up and into his chest.

"We have to help!" you cried, your eyes darting in every direction. A flurry of security staff had begun rushing the contestants in various directions in an attempt to keep them out of fans clutches. As you looked back to Jungkook, his security guard had already batted the fan off.

"We only have six!" Hyuk shouted to Insu. "One of them is missing!"

"Shit," Insu cursed, pushing away the small crowd that was now turning toward you. "Take Y/N. I'll be back."

"Insu," you whimpered, feeling like a doll as he passed you into Hyuk's arms.

"I got you," Hyuk whispered, pulling you backstage. "Everything's fine."

But everything wasn't fine.

The studio had erupted into chaos, one of the guys was missing, and you couldn't help but feel that it was all your fault.

[godsnameisjoy]

119 & 120

Date: 14 January 2025

Duration 1): 19 minutes at 12:20 PM

Duration 2): 40 minutes at 10:46 PM

Depth:

The two meditations from day before yesterday (13 Jan ‘25) left me with specific thoughts. The thoughts were a) maybe there is a bodily imbalance that life energy has chosen to correct and that’s why the blessed force hasn’t streamed any further inwards. And

b) maybe my attention can sense what’s coming next in its journey towards the depths and is shying away from it.

Yesterday’s (14 Jan ‘25) two meditations left me with the distinct feeling that there is a meditational change underway. It is most likely a change in depth. Let’s see if I can list the changes that I have noticed already:

BODY: At the physical level, for the first time ever I have found myself drooling with my mouth open while still in meditation. Not only have I distanced off from my body in the last 4 meditations but also put my body to sleep without being aware of it.

MIND: At the mental level, imagery is back! It is the strangest kind of imagery. In the imagery, I am directly involved in the event unfolding behind shut eyes. The event is hyper realistic in nature, unlike dream like vivid absurdities. The imagery doesn’t have the pull of analysis, like back when my meditations were still well within the waking consciousness or the pull of elaborate schemes of the subconscious to allure my attention into sleep.

I have, in the last 4 meditations, moved away from new imagery with grace. With ease, I have moved into the depth where life energy can be heard within the head. It’s almost as if I now know just how gently mindful I have to be to get to hear sounds that are probably unceasingly playing themselves out, even when I am not meditating. In short, I can hear life energy’s presence with interiorised hearing at will.

SOUL: For knowledge about my soul, I’ll have to revisit Patanjali’s page on Wikipedia and re-read subheadings ‘Dharana’ and ‘Dhyana’.

[howtofightwrite]

When fighting a beast(Boar, Bear, Lion, Wolf, ect.) with a weapon, do you stick to the manuscripts, techniques, and disciplines that teach you how to fight other humans? Or do you just improvise and/or adopt a new style of fighting?

None of the above.

Hunting animals is an entirely distinct skill set and methodology from battlefield combat or dueling. In the case of boars, there was a separate kind of spear specifically designed for hunting them. The boar spear has a heavy cross guard designed to prevent the animal from migrating up the shaft and killing its wielder. That whole, bad ass moment when someone's been run through, but pulls themselves further down the blade? Yeah, boars will do that, and then kill you. In some cases, the animal will even survive the experience. Boars are not a joke.

I'm less familiar with the specific methodology for hunting boars, and what little I know about dealing with bears is from not wanting to kill it, and instead simply driving it off.

Wolves in Europe are an interesting topic, because they posed a threat human settlements. Even as late as the 18th century, there were still recorded instances of wolf packs killing multiple citizens. There's an infamous case in 1450 (I'm aware that Wikipedia dates this attack to 1439), where a pack of wolves reportedly killed forty clergy in Notre Dame Square, before escaping. They were later lured back into the square, trapped there, and picked off by a mix of bowmen, and thrown objects. While the Notre Dame killings are the most famous element of that story, the pack of wolves had been stalking Parisians for a few years by this point (that 1439 date is not completely wrong.) Most of these mass attacks (and this phenomena wasn't limited to Paris), tended to be late in particularly brutal winters (1449 to 1450 was one of these), which meant the wolves were starving, as were many of the people they preyed upon. (If you're interested in reading further on this, there's a lot of information on the “Courtaud” wolf attacks, and the full history is fascinating.)

There's also a story about German and Russian troops in The First World War, entering a temporary truce in the Vilnius-Minsk region (around the modern border between Lithuania and Belarus), to deal with an unusually aggressive, starving wolf population that was preying upon both side's soldiers.

Hunting wolves seems to have been a more ad hoc arrangement, finding ways to lure out, and eliminate the animals. Most of the wolf hunts that I find were either in cases where packs had become especially problematic, or with specific individuals.

As for hunting lions, I'm not familiar with that process at all. At least, not in a pre-modern context. I was under the impression that African lions weren't particularly prone to hunting humans, but, it appears I was mistaken. I'm seeing news articles as recently as last year talking about lion attacks on humans. Though, some of the interviews make this sound like it may be a modern side effect of the lions becoming acclimated to humans. With an estimated 20k remaining African Lions in the wild, and that number has been rapidly dropping, it's a bit of a messy situation.

There's an interesting side note in those news articles, one mentions that African shepherds used to carry (and may still carry) swords to deal with potential lion attacks. This is literally the only time I've ever seen someone mention using a sword to deal with a wild animal as the preferred weapon. This may relate to the specific circumstances where the shepherd is likely to encounter the lion, at relatively close ranges. Usually, the sword is undesirable, because it puts you in strike range of the animal, which is why I assume it's for close range encounters.

On a slightly more disturbing bent, there is a correlation between hunting animals and stalking and killing humans. Hunting most animals depends heavily on the hunter's ability to track the animal, predict and manipulate its behavior, and these techniques can be easily applied to tracking humans. Of course, humans are far more unpredictable, especially if they realize they're being tracked. Humans are harder to manipulate (though there plenty of examples of individuals setting traps by playing on “normal” human behavior.)

(I'm just going to add, when I say, “humans are harder to manipulate,” that could, absolutely, be self-delusion. I'm fully aware how easy it is to manipulate another person, especially with effectively baited traps, so I'm not completely sure we are more resistant to them than animals.)

So, a soldier will have a completely different skillset from a hunter. It's possible for someone to be both (for example, a soldier who learned to hunt before joining the military.) Scouts, and other irregular forces that operate away from the front lines. Maybe even ex-soldiers who've turned to banditry. However, the methods of hunting, are very different from fighting. Hunting humans can be applied even in military situations, just, not in open combat.

On that note, there is one hilarious historical footnote, where Australia attempted to go to war against the Emus in 1932. The Australians lost.

So, no, when you hunt an animal (human or not), that is entirely different from how you fight another human.

-Starke

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[veliseraptor]

Hi Lise, if you are still doing the top 5 meme: Top 5 high fantasy book series. I am kind of looking for recommendations as I am between books.

ooh this is a fun one. always love throwing book recs at people. I mean, first disclaimer is that I have a very hard time distinguishing genres so "high fantasy" is going to be sort of loosely considered here, since I never quite know what counts.

for instance, Wikipedia tells me that The Last Unicorn is high fantasy, which I would not have called, though I suppose it makes sense. (and incidentally, I do recommend.)

completed series only on this list!

1. Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. I'd be remiss if I didn't, because this series is both formative and beloved of me, and for all it gets flack largely for being very long (which it is) and having some slow pacing in the middle (which it does), it remains probably my favorite high/epic fantasy series, with the exception of Lord of the Rings which kind of occupies its own category.

2. Coldfire Trilogy by C.S. Friedman. It's been a hot minute since I read this one, and it's definitely a bit of an oddball as far as fantasy goes, but that's kind of what I love about it. And the dynamic of the trio of main characters is *chef's kiss*, and in particular the Damien & Gerald relationship is. Delicious. I need to reread this one.

3. Malazan: Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson. This is sort of a complicated one, as I attempted to express in my retrospective that I wrote after finishing the series. But it is also one of those series that I keep circling around and really want to do a reread of, even if it would be even more of a time commitment than Wheel of Time, I think, despite being...technically shorter. I think it's because they're harder to read, for multiple reasons. But god, it really is...very good. And not like anything else I've read. I'm sure people compare it to A Song of Ice and Fire but I don't think I would.

4. Farseer Trilogy (and company) by Robin Hobb. Old favorite but still a favorite - one of my O.G. painfully angst-ridden fantasy protagonists! (FitzChivalry, that is.) I loved all of the books I read in the Farseer/Liveship/Tawny Man trilogies, and also the Fitz and the Fool trilogy (though that one slightly less, I'd say). These are very classic epic/high fantasy in a lot of ways, though there's some unique worldbuilding going on here. I wouldn't necessarily call it the most sophisticated series on this list but it is very enjoyable, and very emotionally crunchy, which is a thing that is important to me.

5. The Inheritance Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin. While it's definitely not as strong as the Broken Earth trilogy (which I think is probably her strongest work to date, though that's setting a very high bar), I have a lot of personal affection for this one, both for hitting some personally satisfying notes and also as my first N.K. Jemisin series, and the one that pulled me back into fantasy as a genre after I'd been sort of jaded with it for several years.

bonus recs to Earthsea by Ursula K. LeGuin, Chronicles of the Unhewn Throne by Brian Staveley, and Kushiel's Legacy by Jacqueline Carey, which it feels weird to call high fantasy but it probably counts. (Also wasn't sure if the Divine Cities trilogy counts as high fantasy, but that one's also very, very good.)

the only reason the Silm isn't on this list is because calling it high fantasy feels wrong. it's mythology more than anything else.

I have some general book recs lists floating around on this blog, too, if you're looking for more, including my starter kits (for very specific categories) and a more general list of my favorite books (not all fantasy, but mostly)/top 25 sff of the decade from 2010-2019. there's other recs lists somewhere around in my #sometimes i read things tag, if you're inclined to go fishing.

(also incidentally, Wikipedia's list of high fantasy also claims that the Bas-Lag series by China Mieville is high fantasy, which, are you drunk. very good series! would not call it high fantasy.)

[psychic-refugee]

When it comes to anything shown or explicitly stated within the show, I think it’s fair game for interpretations for personal headcanons.

All headcanons are inherently subject to our biases, experiences, or simply our preferences in order to tell the story we want to tell. So, however you “get there” I think is fine.

Clothes CAN be used to denote sexual preference. Some people specifically wear pins and “pride gear” in order to tell the world who they are. This is a practice that exists.

So, I think it’s fine if people want to headcanon that Enid is gay because of her clothes.

What is not fine, is a) acting like personal interpretations and opinions are fact or canon. b) Acting as if any disagreement of those personal interpretations is inherently homophobic.

Again with Enid’s sweater. If anyone wants to say it’s “lesbian coded" or whatever, go for it. I can see that the sweater and the flag do share what look to be similar if not the same colours and they are both striped. If someone wants to INTERPRET that to mean she’s a lesbian or like subconsciously a lesbian and hasn’t figured it out yet, go for it.

If someone disagrees and says, “well the sweater isn’t a 1:1 mimic of the flag because the colours aren’t the same nor are they in the same ratio or order, I don’t think it’s meant to be the lesbian flag,” that is also fair and they shouldn’t be accused of homophobia, internalized or otherwise.

Further, we have outside data to pull from as well. The show has creators and designers who speak on their craft, so we can infer from interviews what they mean, if they don’t outright say it.

The costume designer specifically says the sweater is meant to contrast and parallel Wednesday’s black and white striped design. (Tumblr, 17/12/2024) No mention of sexuality.

The designer of the sweater has never said it’s “lesbian coded.” It’s called the “Isabel Marant Etoile Pink Ombre Stripe Sweater.” (Femestella, 27/11/2022) No mention of sexuality.

Further, the designer, Isabel Marant, is straight and has been in business since 1994. (Wikipedia, last visited 08/01/2025) We don’t know when she designed the sweater, but if it was available to buy at the time of filming, the sweater’s initial creation could very well pre-date the creation of the lesbian flag. infra.

Enid specifically says she likes Ajax and has a sexual reaction to kissing him. (Her nails grew to mimic an erection)

Again, the sweater itself is not a 1:1 mimic of the flag. Lesbians do not have ownership of these colours, especially since that specific flag has only existed since 2018. (LGBTQIA+ Symbols, April 2020. Archived from the original on 2 June 2021)

Nor does anyone have ownership of stripes. Just because something has stripes, does not mean it’s part of a heraldry.

Such as, Wednesday wearing black and white stripes does not mean she’s wearing the straight pride flag.  

It’s perfectly valid to interpret Enid as straight.

Further, lesbians are not a monolith, and not all claim this particular flag. There are other flags under the lesbian banner. (Wikipedia, last visited 08/01/25)

Some don’t claim a flag at all.

No one needs to wear a “gay uniform” in order to be gay. The reverse is also true, no one has to be straight in order to wear neutral colours.

Just as the rainbow is not owned by the LGBTQ community.

Specifically, a true rainbow with the seven colours in ROYGBIV order, is not owned by anyone. It has been used as a symbol for many different cultures throughout history. (Wikipedia, last visited 08/01/2025)

The pride flag has only been around since the 70’s, which is a drop in the ocean of history.

The gay pride flag is not in ROYGBIV and has its own rich history. There is a reason why it has its specific colours and the order they’re in. It has gone through several iterations since the 70’s. The most popular one today is only six colours, and not a true rainbow. (Wikipedia, last visited 08/01/2025)

The gay pride flag has never been a true rainbow, so it’s ignorant and reductive to say anything with rainbows is gay.

Both interpretations for Enid via clothes are valid and can be used for personal headcanons.

***

The binge model of only 8 episodes per season Netflix regularly uses does have its issues. I do like the ability to watch episodes at my leisure without having to wait for weeks. I will admit that if we could get more episodes on a yearly basis back and would have to sacrifice the binge model, I wouldn’t mind.

In the case of Wednesday, the delay is not any one person’s fault. There was a strike that lasted for months, so in terms of getting it out, I think Netflix prioritized Wednesday and did the best they could.

We also have to look at other factors. Because it’s a worldwide release, they have a lot of post production issues we didn’t have in the past.

Adhering to different regulations according to region.

Dubbing in different languages to get as many views as possible

In a world of magic/supernatural, I wouldn’t be offended if they either did a time jump or simply said “Outcast quick growth/puberty can hit different” and moved on.

Real life actor’s growth spurts aren’t as big of a deal in this situation, IMO.

@hislittleraincloud @psychic-refugee

I think it’s absolutely Okay to headcanon a character as LGBT, but it shouldn’t be based on how the characters dresses.

I personally make my headcanons based on how the character acts. For example a guy who only crushes on girls who are unavailable and feeling uncomfortable when a girl actually shows interest in him. A girl who refers to her boyfriend as an accessory and generally preferring to hang out with her female friends.

I also think it’s pretty obvious that the show is going to face the same issue as Stranger Things and Cobra Kai. Which is that the actors age faster than the characters. Leading to things like the short chubby kid, suddenly being 6 feet tall, even though in the show only a short amount of time has passed between the seasons.

[mysticraven20]

Everyone knows Adrien Agreste likes Passionfruit.

Everyone knows Adrien Agreste is blonde.

Everyone knows Adrien Agreste is ‘the perfect son’.

What everyone doesn’t know is that Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir, and sometimes his sneaky side appears to change things to suit himself.

For example, Nino thinks Chat Noir’s favourite colour is green, his favourite power up is his ice form, and that he is madly in love with Ladybug, and he’s not wrong. Where did he find out this information? On Wikipedia, of course.

But everyone knows Wikipedia can be easily manipulated, right? So when Nino made a bet with Adrien regarding zebras, there was no chance of him losing. After all, he could just change what he needed to and move on.

“Did you know zebras are black with white stripes? I always thought it was the other way around.”

The two heroes sat on their usual rooftop munching on the croissants Ladybug had brought with her.

“Huh?” Her eyes caught his and he shrugged.

“I had a bet with a friend at school about it, I really thought I was right.” Adrien continued, swallowing down his third croissant.

“I’ve never really thought about it before,” she responded, picking up a croissant and playing with it between her hands, “so they’re actually black?”

“Yup, completely. The stripes that they form are species-specific patterns.”

“That’s actually really interesting. So, what have you lost in the bet?” She asked.

His smirk lit up the night, oh how sweet and honourable his lady was.

“Who said I lost?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “There was no way I was losing to this guy again, it would be the twelfth time in a row.”

Ladybug snorted at him, taking another bite of her croissant.

“How petty can you get?”

“Well, if you must know <em>my</em> ladybug, I edited the Wikipedia article to win.”

She stared at him wide eyed, croissant falling from her mouth in the most unattractive way.

Oh yes, she didn’t know how petty he could actually be.

•••••

The next morning at school Adrien walked up to Nino with a smug look on his face, phone in hand.

“Read it and weep,” Adrien said as Nino scanned the article.

“No way, I know I’m right, this can’t be happening.”

His fingers flicked the page on the phone up and down before he turned to the girls and looked at them both, facial expressions begging for help.

“What’s wrong Nino?” Alya asked, Adrien made his way to his seat, sometimes victory was too sweet.

“Zebras? Black on white, or white on black?”

“White on black.” Both girls responded.

Nino shook his head and placed the phone in front of them.

“Not according to Wikipedia.”

Marinette looked at the phone before looking at the smug look on Adrien’s face. There was no way? Was there?

“What? Why are you looking at that?”

Adrien noticed a flicker of something in Marinette’s eyes. Shock? Horror? Unbelief?

“Me and my dude were arguing yesterday so we made a bet.” Nino explained.

“A - a bet?”

Adrien met Marinette’s eyes and a course of panic spread through him. No way! No freaking way!

“Yeah, he was so sure they were white with black stripes.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed, causing Adrien to gulp. Oh no!

“Did you know you can change Wikipedia? You can edit it yourself, and add additional information.” Marinette explained to Nino, “my friend told me last night. He said he’d done it himself once, you know, to win a bet.”

Marinette fluttered her eyelashes at Adrien. Oh he was dead! She took the phone and refreshed it. It seemed someone had gone on and edited the information back to what it was.

“You cheat.” Nino shouted, “smart move, bro, but now you owe me.”

Before the girls could hear what the deal was, Ms. Bustier had called the class to attention and began her lesson. Not that Marinette learnt much considering the curiosity utterly consuming her.

•••••

“I hate you, you know.” Chat plonked himself down next to Ladybug.

“I love you too, Chaton.”

“Don’t play nice now! You know what you did, <em>Marinette</em>.” She looked at him, then burst out laughing. It was clear now what the bet was.

“What is wrong with your eyebrows? Your father’s going to kill you.” She responded.

“It’s your fault.”

“I don’t think so, Kitty, this one is all on you, you cheat.” He plonked himself down next to her, eyebrows no longer blonde but a dark shade of brown. “I’m not dating you until they’re back to normal.”

“Dating? You think I want to date you after the stunt you pulled?” His face twisted into such a pained expression causing her to burst out in laughter again.

“I’m sorry, Adrien.” She looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, whatever.” He attempted to play mad at her only to burst out laughing himself. “Does it look as bad as I think it does?”

“Probably worse.”

He shook his head before resting it on top of hers.

“So, a date? Uh? At least I finally won something.”

They both laugh again, looking out into the night and wondering what Gabriel Agreste would find as a suitable punishment for his now brown ‘browed’ son, but it was certain that Adrien Agreste would never mess with Wikipedia again, unless it was to update Chat Noir and Ladybug’s relationship status, that is. He’d deal with those repercussions all in due time.

[student-by-day]

since we’re officially a few weeks into second semester and i’ve had to write another paper by now, i thought it was about time i shared some precious knowledge for the benefit of the greater good.

some basic things i can’t believe no one taught us:

wikipedia IS NOT EVIL. repeat after me. wikipedia IS NOT EVIL. just be smart about using it. (hear me out on this one.)

it can oftentimes be a great place to start because you can get a quick, simple summarization on the topic you’re trying to learn about.

make sure to check out the bibliography at the bottom---a lot of those sources are credible (which means you can cite them in your work!) and can provide further reading/context.

there are a lot of linked topics within the articles---read up on those too if they’re relevant (for a better overall understanding/extra background knowledge).

just don’t quote or paraphrase from wikipedia (the same goes for any other non-scholarly source) and cite it as a source in your paper---your teacher/prof may or not murder you, knowing this site can be edited by their four-year-old child lol.

put quotation marks around specific words (like names, dates, etc.) to narrow down your search results in case the ones that pop up first are irrelevant or too general.

narrow down domains by sticking site:.edu, site:.org, etc. to the end of a search instead of manually sifting through blogs and a bunch of “unusable” stuff.

explore the other advanced search options that don’t have shortcuts by googling something > settings > advanced search to narrow things down based on language, region, publication date, usage rights, etc.

use ctrl+f on articles to find the most relevant passage(s) if you read through the first paragraph and think “yea man this ain’t it” or if the page is super long/wordy. this will save you a lot of wasted time. 

figure out how to do a split screen and snap windows on your device! this is great for taking notes during a video/documentary or when manually retyping something that you can’t copy+paste while looking at the source for reference. it’s alt+[ or alt+] for chromebooks and windows key+left arrow key or windows key+right arrow key for windows pcs (google it if you have a mac---didn’t want to give out info i couldn’t test myself).

RECORD ALL (ALL) THE RELEVANT SOURCES YOU ENCOUNTER while you research. i don’t know how many times i’ve read a tidbit of information and didn’t think i’d use it later but then spent like an hour scrolling and clicking through my history to find the right site because it turned out i did need/want that piece of information later once i changed the direction i was going in. my method: pasting the link on a doc and writing a little reminder below it about what info it contains/what i would use it for.

if you’re extra lazy, use the docs.new shortcut to create a new google doc.

when citing, WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE DONE WRITING and then use a generator (fyi: i like easybib.com and hate the google docs add-on) to get the brunt of the work out of the way, edit any incorrect blanks, add to ones you have extra info for, and PROOFREAD THE FINAL CITATION while referencing the criteria of your standard (whether that’s chicago, apa, mla, or whatever) using owl.purdue.edu, as mistakes *do* happen, and you don’t wanna get docked points for something as simple as a citation.

remember you’ll have better results if you stop using a ton of filler words and punctation just to be grammatically correct---use fragments or list key words instead when you search things that are harder to find.

reword and reorder the words in your search in several ways. don’t give up right away if you can’t find things---you’ve gotta show some resilience.

read past the third result. please. i can’t stress this enough, considering how many people i know that don’t do this. you have to realize some things just take digging.

explore “related searches” that are suggested at the bottom. even if they’re not as specific as yours, they might pull up different/more results bc they’re common searches!

there are ways to get through paywalls. i’m *not* saying you should go find the loophole links on tumblr... i’m definitely not saying that *at all*.

[toreaders-fromreaders]

Hello!

Welcome to Part 2 of Chapter 5 analysis where we will cover all things plants!

The format will look a bit different because there is a lot to go over!

If you're looking for tea analysis and other details → Part 1.

Please note, as of the date of this posting, I have only read up to Chapter 31. This analysis may not be the most accurate or relevant.

DISCLAIMER: This is all meant for fun, these thoughts are purely based on personal observations and a bit of research. It is not intended as criticism or critique in any shape or form. I have no idea if these are inadaze22‘s intentions and any confirmation(s) from her will be noted. If you have corrections or inputs, do send them my way. All I ask is that we are kind to one another.

Spoilers ahead! You have been warned!

The Plants: The fruits mentioned in this chapter likely serve no significance, but here is some over-analyzing and over-reaching.

Dwarf Mango

Has direct connection to the Hindu goddess, Saraswati who is known as the Goddess of knowledge, speech, wisdom, learning, etc. (traits are of similar resemblance to Hermione)

The Vasant Panchami festival celebrates Saraswati, and involves the offering of mango leaves.

Families often mark the day of the festival by helping their young children learn how to write the letters of the alphabet and create music (foreshadowing to Hermione helping Scorpius to communicate?)

Fig

This is a massive stretch and something I stumbled upon: The Qur'an has a "chapter" that begins with "By the fig and the olive", perhaps this will allude to another plant in later chapters. (Source: Wikipedia, don't come for me)

In Greco-Roman culture, it's associated with fertility *wink wink nudge nudge* (I'm sorry this fact was too good to pass off)

Lemon

This is the fourth time it has been mentioned, so it's nearly been mentioned in every single chapter and Hermione clearly has a fondness for it (perhaps other characters also share this same appreciate for it....)

It is often associated with friendship, love, and purification, which are central themes of this fic. If going with the order of things, it directly alludes to the story arc and sets the trajectory for Hermione's relationships.

In terms of tea, lemon cuts the bitterness of black teas to bring a brighter tone. Similarly, both Hermione and Draco are likely to enter into each other's lives and bring something new into their respective lives.

Orange

It's not specified what type of orange Hermione has planted, but it's safe to assume that its meant for consumption and her tea blends.

Hermione mentions that it's for the kids, maybe Scorpius will like them too? (This is for the Tangerine Twins and The Child Protection Agency)

Pear

No thoughts just another quote I pulled off the pear Wikipedia page about the first mention of pears in literature: "Therein grow trees, tall and luxuriant, pears and pomegranates and apple trees with their bright fruit, and sweet figs, and luxuriant olives." (Please note the presence of figs and olives, thank you!)

Abyssinian Shrivelfig

Used in Shrinking Solution (foreshadowing?)

Used in Elixir to Induce Euphoria, which also uses peppermint to counteract side effects (reference to Draco Malfoy creating the potion in 3rd Year; unclear as to how this relates to future chapters)

Akra (Calotropis gigantea)

Produces biochemicals that can help with germination and growth of many agricultural plants (Hermione likely uses this to speed up plant growth aside from magic)

Specific strains can be used as poison (I highly doubt this fact will be seen in the fic, but it's a fun fact to run with)

Used in traditional medicine to treat neurological disorders, although this has limited scientific finding (perhaps this plant will be used in one of Narcissa's potions)

Asphodel

Part of the lily family

Associated with death and gloom, and Persephone the Greek goddess (foreshadowing to potential character death, and issues that Hermione and others must face in the Ministry?)

Used in Draught of Living Death, which places an individual into a deep slumber (foreshadowing?)

Used in Vitamix Potion, which briefly provides a boost in energy and sharpens reflexes (foreshadowing?)

Dittany

Used in healing potions (foreshadowing)

Used in Wiggenweld Potion, which is an antidote to the Sleeping Draught and Draught of Living Death, and also requires the use of mint (foreshadowing?)

Kava

Used for her teas (refer to Chapter 3 → tea analysis)

May also be used in Narcissa's potions because of the sedative properties

Ipecacuanha

Archaic scientific term

A Muggle drug that uses this plant to cause induced vomiting was discontinued in 2010 (unclear as to how this relates to future chapters)

Leaping Toadstools

Used for Baruffio's Brain Elixir, which supposedly increases brain size but can cause detrimental brain damage if brewed incorrectly (unclear as to how this relates to future chapters)

Neem

Potentially toxic, and a weed in some regions

Used for Fergus Fungal Budge, which is used to treat ringworm infections (unclear as to how this relates to future chapters)

Wormwood

Used as flavouring in spirits and wines

Used in Draught of Living Death (foreshadowing?)

Used in Elixir to Induce Euphoria (unclear as to how this relates to future chapters)

Used in Shrinking Solution (foreshadowing?)

Used in Vitamix Potion (foreshadowing?)

Used in the Healing Potion in the 2010s by the Statue of Secrecy Task Force (parallel to Terrorist Task Force?)

Bits and Pieces: This section is going to a collection of small details and such that I found to be interesting in their wording and meaning. There’s many ways to interpret them, but for this one I’m just going to leave them here. Maybe I’ll come back and do a full analysis later on.

"Halia" (*cue the tears)

"self-partnering" (refer to Emma Watson's interview for Beauty and the Beast)

"except for a twitch in his jaw and a glimmer of what looked like an odd mix of curiosity and suspicion"

🌱 This marks the end of the plant analysis, and bits and pieces section. 🌱

Thank you for coming along for the ride! Hope you enjoyed and see you on the next one! :)

-C

In case you missed the previous posts:

Chapter 1 → review

Chapter 2 → review

Chapter 3, Part 1 → review

Chapter 3, Part 2 → tea + plant analysis

Chapter 4, Part 1 → review

Chapter 4, Part 2 → tea analysis + other details + bits and pieces

Chapter 5, Part 1 → tea analysis + other details

[turtle-steverogers]

Team Bonding

fr when was the last time i posted like,,, a fic on here. like a tumblr fic. damn. anyway. ummmmmmmm this is just your.... typical steve freaks out and the avengers are awesome um yah ok ok 

warnings: panic attack, vomiting (basically steve watches the titanic and doesnt have a very fun time)

word count: 2575

-

If Steve was being brutally honest with himself, he was fucking tired of hearing about “the classics”. Irrelevant people butting their noses into his business, tipping him off to what movies were, “the best of the best!” and “absolute must sees!” He appreciated what they were trying to do, but after a while, it felt like people were more or less just trying to garner a slice of his 21st century experience, and quite frankly, he liked doing things better by himself. It was much more appealing to park himself in front of his laptop, nothing but his own quietude to keep him company as he combed through different wikipedia rabbit holes and caught up on movies and TV shows that were apparently crucial to his very existence.

Most were subpar and honestly, he preferred the copious amounts of popcorn he treated himself to on these solo date nights, but some things surprised him. Like Indiana Jones. He liked Indiana Jones. He was neat, and Marion reminded him vaguely of Peggy. 

Still, he supposed he should have seen it coming when Clint came to collect him from his floor one evening, that sort of eager-puppy energy he carried around with him vaguely prickling the back of Steve’s neck.

“C’mon, man,” he was saying. Steve leaned against the door jamb, tired. He was going to concede, but Clint was rambling and Steve knew better than to interrupt him. “It’s, like, certifiably the best love story ever. You need to watch it--”

And there it was again. That fucking claim. You need to watch this! You haven’t seen that? 

No. He hadn’t. He’d been a little busy, you know, being dead.

“--And the acting is all so raw and it’s just-- Leo DiCaprio-- you know who that--”

“--Yes. I saw Blood Diamond--”

“--Oh, you did? Well, anyway, he rocks in this and--”

“Clint,” Steve cut him off smoothly. “I’ll come, don’t sweat it too hard.”

Clint looked positively elated. “You will?” he exclaimed. “Awesome, yeah, it’s gonna be the whole team. I mean, that’s good right? You’re cool with that? You gotta be, you’re the one who mentioned team bonding that one time--”

“Yes,” Steve cut in again. “I’m alright with that. Give me a minute to change, and I’ll be right down?” He was still in his gym clothes from two hours ago. He meant to take a shower, but he’d sort of… ran out of energy. The sweat had cooled by now anyway. He smelled fine.

“Oh! Yeah, no problem.”

Which was how Steve found himself in a pair of sweatpants and an old SHIELD t-shirt, squashed in between Natasha and Bruce on the communal couch. Someone had handed him a huge bowl of popcorn and Steve was pleasantly surprised to find that it was flavored with some sort of cheese powder.

“White cheddar,” Bruce said, holding up a little blue shaker bottle when he heard Steve’s appreciative hum. “They’re, uh, sort of like seasoning, but for popcorn specifically. They come in all different kinds of flavors.”

“Oh, neat,” Steve said, around another handful of popcorn. He liked Bruce. He seemed to get Steve in that quiet, brutally raw sort of way. A quiet kinship. They didn’t talk about it, but he never made him feel condescended, so Steve decided that was okay.

“I think I fixed it!” Tony said, stepping out from behind the ginormous movie screen where, presumably, he’d been fixing a volume problem. The screen had been frozen on the first frame of the movie for nearly ten minutes. “Okay, okay, let’s see…” he pressed play. Music poured through the speakers on either side of the TV, loud enough so that everyone cringed and Steve nearly dropped the popcorn bowl in his haste to cover his ears. He always managed to forget how damn loud the world could be when he let himself get comfortable.

“Sorry, sorry!” Tony hissed, turning the volume down to a much more tolerable level. “Okay, there. Okay, shh everyone. Gotta let Capsicle--”

“--Just Steve, Tony--”

“--Gotta let Just Steve get the full experience.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but settled in to watch.

The film was honestly better than Steve had been expecting, if not a little… itchy in that way period films tended to be for him. The themes of poverty and love were pretty well-rounded, but they hit just close enough that he almost cringed at the far-fetch’d beauty of it. 

Still, his fingers itched for a pencil as Jack guided a pencil over the worn sheaf of paper. The dim light, the faint scratch of the pencil, the forbidden love. It was familiar. Steve could almost smell the salty City air, afternoons spent under the dim lights of candles so they could see even with the curtains drawn-- a semblance of privacy amongst the compact vulnerability of his and Bucky’s shitty little tenement. 

Draw me like one of your french girls, Rose had said, and Steve’s eyes drifted towards the wall, Bucky’s voice echoing through his head.

“‘Course I want you to draw me. I ain’t denying my vanity, Stevie,” he teased, but his eyes were soft. “Pal, you could draw a stick of butter and I’d still wanna watch. It ain’t about me here.”

There was a soft touch to his arm and Steve blinked out of his reverie. Natasha was watching him, a neutral look on her face that Steve had finally learned to recognize as concern. He shook his head minutely, offering her a smile. She nodded and looked back at the TV.

The rest of the movie passed without much excitement. The acting was pretty good and Steve had even gotten to a point where he could recognize the filmmaking as something like revolutionary for the time it came out. He was quicker on the cultural uptake than people gave him credit for, but that was neither here nor there. He laughed with everyone else, let himself grow somber when the atmosphere lent that mood, and generally, it was a nice time. He hadn’t gone to any movie nights before this, but he thought maybe he’d start going to more.

And then the ship hit the iceberg.

Steve wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Obviously, he knew of the Titanic-- he knew, historically, what happened to it. But for some reason, it hadn’t quite hit him while watching the movie that he was going to have to see the catastrophe go down.

There was a loud creaking of ice on metal as the collision occurred on screen and Steve felt himself go still-- body rigid and tense as the deafening noise played through the speakers. His heart slammed in his chest and he felt his palms start to sweat. He knew that sound-- he knew that--

--He blinked, shaking his head. Movie. Watch the movie. There was a panicked scramble on screen. Characters rushing to amend the situation, more metal creaking and groaning and breaking as dark, foamy water broke through the sides of the ship and Steve could taste it, he could taste the water flooding into the cabin, hitting him from the left as it took the plane down in a harsh--

--He twitched, shaking his head. He was being silly. There were moments of reconciliation as the scenes rapidly flashed between water flooding the ships cabins and peaceful moments of civility. A calm before the storm. A final dance before death.

I’m gonna need a raincheck on that dance…

There was a sudden crash as water blasted through into the work quarters and Steve jumped, watching transfixed as unforgiving torrents pushed workers over, flooding them, drowning them, and they were falling, slipping, sliding, panicking as certain death met them at the halfway point, and Steve knew it must be cold. So cold. Suffocating and unforgiving as it flooded their lungs, saltier than they probably imagined, heavy and awful and--

“Stark, turn the movie off.”

The room went abruptly silent. Steve realized his eyes were closed, chest heaving as he sat, hunched over his lap, hands fisted in his hair.

The popcorn wasn’t on his lap anymore. When had he moved? He couldn’t breathe and he was so cold and someone needed to save those guys, someone needed to--

“Steve,” a gentle voice cut into the roaring waves crashing in his head. Bruce. That was Bruce speaking. “Can you hear me, Steve?” 

Steve nodded, pulling his hair harder. He couldn’t breathe. Was he drowning again? Surely that was impossible. If Bruce was talking to him, he couldn’t be drowning again, but-- but the water-- and-- and the cold--

“Good, that’s good, Steve,” Bruce. Bruce again. It was Bruce. “Can I touch you?”

Touch. Touch. No touch. He was so cold. He wanted to stop being cold, but he was certain if someone touched him right now, he would lose his goddamn mind. More so than he already had.

“That’s alright,” Bruce sounded steady. Calm. So calm. Why couldn’t Steve calm down? “That’s okay. You think you can do something for me?”

Something… for Bruce? Could he? Could he do anything right then? If he couldn’t breathe, how could he do anything-- and he-- he felt sick--

He opened his mouth to answer and vomited between his feet, straight onto the carpet. Someone in the room hissed sympathetically. Steve wanted to crawl somewhere and die.

“Oh, Steve,” Bruce seemed to be talking mostly to himself, but Steve felt his shoulders climb higher towards his ears. “Okay, Steve, I need you to listen to my voice. Just listen. I’m going to count and you’re going to breathe in time with my instruction, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Steve shook his head, choking on a sob. His chest hurt. Like someone had taken all of his ribs and replaced them with weights, flooding his lungs with-- with water-- and fuck, now he was thinking about the plane again. He felt his breathing tick up higher.

“I want you to try,” Bruce said. “With me. In,” he sucked in a breath. “One… two… three… four…”

Steve tried to suck in a breath, but all he managed to do was send himself into a coughing fit. Bruce kept counting. Steve wanted to tell him to wait-- slow down-- shut up--

He braced a hand over his chest. 

Bruce was still counting.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually he found himself matching Bruce’s counts, eyes closed and the heels of his palms braced on his temples as he sucked in greedy, measured breaths. His heart was still slamming hard enough to make him tremble and he could smell his own sick wafting up from the ground, but at least he was breathing on his own.

Bruce trailed off. Silence hung thick in the air, the only noise Steve’s slow, shaking breaths. Shame burned around his ears. He didn’t dare look up.

Tony, predictably, was the one to break the silence. “I’m sorry, Steve,” he said, and Steve was surprised to hear honest regret in his voice. “I was the one who suggested we watch Titanic. I should have thought for more than two seconds about that…”

Steve shrugged. Embarrassment climbed from his stomach to his throat, threatening to choke him. 

Natasha spoke next. “Why don’t you go wash up?” It was an escape-- a way out-- and Steve took it graciously, keeping his head ducked down as he stood on shaking legs and rushed to the communal bathroom.

Inside, he locked the door and braced himself over the sink, splashing warm water on his face. He drank greedily from the tap. His reflection looked like shit-- he’d burst some blood vessels in his eyes, probably while vomiting, and his skin looked sallow and pale. He was trembling, sweat matting his hair to his forehead. He looked how he looked after a nightmare. This, he supposed, had kind of been like a nightmare. Though, he hadn’t been asleep.

Nightmares, he was finding, weren’t strictly exclusive to the nighttime. 

He supposed he’d always known that, though. 

He closed his eyes, bowing his head again. 

His emotions had been fucked to high hell since waking up from the ice. This hadn’t been the first of those awful… fits, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last, but to have something like that happen in front of the team was a whole new level of mortifying. Fuck. He’d gotten sick. And he’d left it.

He felt the ceramic counter straining under his grip. Scowling, he let go.

He could slip off to his room, lock himself away until he could find some way to sneak out of the Tower and never talk to any of the others ever again. Even in this state, Steve knew that wasn’t viable in any sense. He sighed. Besides, he couldn’t just damn the others to clean up his mess. 

Stowing his pride, he dug some spare mouthwash out from behind the mirror and chugged some straight down, keeping a mouthful and swishing it around before spitting it in the sink. He still felt and looked like shit, but at least his breath would smell like wintergreen. 

The others were still gathered in the communal living room, watching what looked like a kid’s cartoon on TV. There was a distinct smell of cleaner in the air and Steve’s eyes landed on the ground where he’d gotten sick. It was clean. He let his eyes drop to the ground, ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. The cartoon paused. He didn’t look at any of them. “I was going to clean up.”

“Nah, man, the only thing worse than freaking out is having to clean up after yourself while you still feel shitty,” Clint said, and Steve looked up. There was no pity in his gaze, only understanding. 

“Yeah, we’ve all been there,” Tony said. “Sucks, but hey, least we know now that Titanic is a no-no for you.”

Steve flushed, swallowing a few times. “Um, I guess,” he looked at Bruce. “Thank you.”

Bruce smiled. “No problem,” he said gently. “We’re watching Phineas and Ferb if you’d like to join us, but we understand if you’d like to go rest.”

“Phineas and Ferb?” Steve asked, guilt replaced with genuine confusion.

“Yeah,” Clint said, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “It’s my go-to when I have a bad day. Nothing like some good old platypus drama to cure life’s woes.”

Steve blinked. “I genuinely don’t know what to say to that.”

Clint barked out a laugh. “Join us, man! Don’t gotta talk if you’re not feeling it, but being alone after shit like that sucks.”

And Steve hadn’t had someone there for him after a breakdown-- not since the war. Not since Bucky. Every ounce of him wanted to run. Hide. Smooth out his face and slip on that mask of stoicism. But maybe… maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe he could let himself have this, if only this once.

“Sure,” he said, voice a little hoarse. He awkwardly sat back in between Natasha and Bruce.

Tony pressed play again and Steve smoothed his hands over his thighs, feeling out of place and a little cramped and--

Natasha settled, casually letting her feet rest on his lap. On his other side, Bruce leaned into his shoulder, a subtle, grounding pressure. Clint caught his eye and offered him some more popcorn.

Steve relaxed.

Yeah. He could let himself have this.

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

yeah this was chatted about in one of the awesome discord groups im in so thanks guyysss lol

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Vanya and the Phantom

I asked and y’all answered (special thanks to @schizoidwire and @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace  and all the people who responded to my earlier post for encouraging me!), so it is time for how The Phantom of the Opera song introduction can be read as a look into Vanya’s self-narrative and also foreshadows future events in a really subtle and interesting way. 

I’m channeling my inner Elliot and going into full conspiracy mode. This is gonna be a long one, y’all. 

Part One: In Which I Expose Myself as a Former Theater Kid

So, for those who aren’t familiar with The Phantom of the Opera, it was originally a novel by French writer Gaston Leroux back in 1909. In 1986, Andrew Lloyd Webber rewrote it as a musical. For purposes of my analysis here, I am just going to be discussing the musical because 1) the score used in the opening scene is from it and 2) I’ve never read the book. (If anyone out there has read the book and wants to weigh in, please do!) 

It’s a very aesthetic show, and draws on a lot of gothic themes and imagery. The plot follows an opera house, and specifically a young chorus girl named Christine Daaé. I’m not going to explain the whole show plot in detail because wikipedia exists, but I will do a quick overview here and point out some things as they relate to things I’ll be discussing later. Also there will be a test after and it will NOT be multiple choice.

The show begins when the opera house is sold to new owners who 1) just want to make money and 2) do not respect the opera house’s resident ghost (who isn’t really a ghost, but we’ll get to that later.) When the Phantom makes his presence known, and freaks out the resident prima donna singer (who will be relevant later) Carlotta, who says she won’t sing under these conditions. It is then that Christine appears. She’s quiet and humble and has always lived in the background, but is incredibly talented. The woman who runs the chorus (also owner of the opera house’s resident braincell) suggests Christine sing the part. She does, and is amazing. Everyone is blown away, and she’s catapulted into instant fame and success. 

We later learn that Christine has been studying under the Phantom, who appears to her in mirrors. She calls him the Angel of Music, and thinks that he was sent to teach her by her recently deceased father. He isn’t. He’s actually pretty malicious, and is obsessed with Christine, wants to control her voice, and doesn’t like her dating anyone. Which is a bit awkward when her childhood friend shows up and promptly falls in love with her. 

Anyways, Carlotta is jealous of the attention Christine has been getting and threatens to leave prompting the new owners to cut Christine from the program. The Phantom doesn’t like it at all, sends a bunch of letters, things escalate, people are murdered, and the whole first act ends with the chandelier falling from the ceiling and crashing onto the stage (which is done with really cool effects, oftentimes beginning the show hanging over the audience. It’s a BIG MOMENT and one of the most iconic ones from the show. This will also be relevant later.)

Act two takes place a few months later, wherein no one has seen the Phantom. Shock of all shocks, though, he’s not dead. He’s been writing an opera and he wants Christine to star in it. More stuff happens, you learn the backstory of the Phantom (which is pretty sad, ngl, but in no way makes him less of a creep) and the story ends with the Phantom kidnapping Christine and giving her an ultimatum: stay with him forever, or he kills Raoul (aka childhood friend/romantic interest guy). She agrees to stay with him and he’s so moved by her compassion that he lets them both go and disappears forever. 

Part Two: Casting the Characters

That’s interesting, Rosie (note sarcasm) but you said this was about The Umbrella Academy? I did, in fact. So, we meet Vanya when she’s playing a medley of songs from The Phantom of the Opera. Since it’s primarily the melodies and not one of the orchestral pieces from her performance later (I don’t think), we can assume she’s just playing it for herself (which is nice! good on you, Vanya). 

Maybe she’s never seen the play and just likes the score, but for purposes here, let’s assume she’s familiar with it. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the stories they connect with (for example, I like TUA because I like fun sibling dynamics, found family, music, and being sad). And I think that it makes sense that The Phantom of the Opera would be a story that resonates with Vanya. The overlooked chorus girl finds power in music, and, after years in the background, is finally given a chance to show how special she is. 

So, yeah. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that Vanya sees herself as Christine. There are some discrepancies, sure, but this is Vanya’s self-narrative, which we learn pretty much immediately is unreliable. (Love her, but it’s true.) And if Vanya is Christine, then we can try and tap into her perspective to look at some other characters. 

Anyways remember Carlotta (the prima donna opera singer who always got the spotlight and tried to destroy everything good that happened to Christine because she felt threatened that someone might be as good/better than her whose entire personality and role in the story I just summarized, rendering my plot recap useless)? Carlotta is how Vanya views Allison. (Kind of all her siblings, but her relationship with Allison is the most important here.)

Think about the scene in the cabin? 

“You couldn’t risk me threatening your place in the house! You couldn’t handle the fact that Dad might find me special!” - Vanya, having a mental breakdown.

This always struck me as an interesting accusation to throw, since prior to this moment, I don’t think there was any indication that Allison had ever felt threatened by Vanya. She excluded her, sure, and wasn’t super friendly at times, but the idea that Allison has been pulling strings to keep Vanya out of her spotlight is new. But that is exactly the role Carlotta plays in Phantom. 

Fun fact! At one point in the musical, the Phantom enchants Carlotta so that she loses her voice right before coming on stage. 

Part Three: The Phantom of the Opera is there

So based on everything I’ve said so far, the most straightforward reading is then, that Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins (who for purposes here I’ll call Leonard) is the stand in for the Phantom, which works... really well. Both in helping to understand Vanya and also because it foreshadows the twist of season one in a really cool way.

So, the Phantom appears to Christine first not as an enemy, but as a friend and teacher, who encourages her to be more confident in her abilities. He trains her to develop her singing ability. While the teacher-student dynamic is actually inverted initially with Vanya and Leonard, from the get go, he is showering her with compliments, encouraging her to be confident in her abilities, and, at least on the surface, supporting her in a way she hasn’t been supported before (he’s a trash human but an expert manipulator). 

But, in the play, the Phantom is also very possessive over Christine and her power (er, I mean voice). He also is perfectly willing to kill and/or hurt people who he views as standing in the way of Christine and her success (see the aforementioned Carlotta incident). Which is exactly what Leonard does to Vanya. He kills the first chair violinist to help her get it, and orchestrates a whole master plan to get her to reveal her powers on his terms. 

Even the part where he starts “training” her to use her powers kind of resembles the second act of the play. The Phantom wrote a play for Christine and she’s going to star in it, whether she wants to or not. 

(One could even make the argument of the parallels between Christine believing the Phantom was sent by her father to teach her and Leonard showing up because of his revenge scheme against Vanya’s father, but I honestly don’t have much support for that.) 

Part Three: Two Conflicting Narratives

So, as you might’ve noticed, I sort of have two different threads of analysis going on right now. 1) The Phantom of the Opera parallel is part of Vanya’s self-narrative and in it she mischaracterizes Allison, making her more suspicious of her motivations and 2) Leonard Peabody is clearly the Phantom and doesn’t bother being subtle about it. I hope that I’ve been convincing (or at least intriguing) for you to get to this point, because here is where they come together.

Vanya has this parallel going, but she doesn’t see Leonard as the Phantom. In the beginning at least, he’s her Raoul. If I had to guess, I’d say Reginald Hargreeves is the Phantom in Vanya’s self-narrative (says he’ll train her but wants to manipulate her and keep her locked away for himself, strict teacher who doesn’t really care about her well being, wearing a mask to appear more normal/human... she wouldn’t exactly be wrong). Leonard, on the other hand, is Vanya’s supporter. He validates her, and believes in her, and taker her side when Carlotta and the opera house owners (er, the rest of the Hargreeves children) gang up on her and conspire to keep her out. 

This is all building to, of course, the final confrontation. The Phantom says Christine has to pick one or the other. When Allison comes to talk to Vanya, Vanya feels as if she’s been given an ultimatum and lashes out.

And that’s where everything (including this parallel) starts to crumble. 

(I honestly don’t know a lot about the other characters and how they fit in. I suppose we could have Five = Raoul if we ignore romance plot and focus on the childhood friend that hasn’t been seen in a while angle? And maybe also Pogo = Madame Giry. Vanya doesn’t really have any friends to be Meg.) 

Part Four: It’s All About the Moon

So that is kind of the gist of The Phantom of the Opera as a window into Vanya’s self-narrative theory, but there are a couple of other loosely related ideas I thought I might as well bring up since this thing is already ridiculously long. 

Remember how I mentioned the chandelier is like, THE scene from The Phantom of the Opera back in part one, and said it’d be relevant later? Bringing that back now, because I’m going to pull a Luther and connect everything to the moon. 

So, to get the obvious out of the way, the moon exploding and the chandelier coming crashing to the stage are similar because something falls, breaks into a bunch of pieces, destroys a bunch of stuff, and creates a powerful and memorable image to close off before an act/season break (the next installment of which begins with a time jump). 

Additionally, it’s worth mentioning that The Phantom of the Opera is told out of order. The opening scene shows a grown up Raoul at an auction for the items left behind after the opera house closes, and it switches to the past as the remains of the chandelier rise upwards to the ceiling, Phantom’s theme swelling (it’s a really cool moment, tbh). Following the prologue of The Umbrella Academy, we switch to the present with two images: Vanya alone on the stage, and then Luther alone on the moon. Which has a kind of symmetry that might mean nothing, but is still kind of cool. 

(Also the item that Raoul buys from the auction is a music box with a monkey crashing symbols on top of it. Which might mean nothing.) 

Part Five: How is she STILL talking about this? (AKA Conclusion)

To be honest, this is more a very tangled “things I noticed and thought were interesting” discussion than a formal essay with any clear thesis. While there is a chance that this was all coincidental and I’ve gone full Pepe Sylvia, the music selection in The Umbrella Academy is one of the things that they seem to be really deliberate about. 

I would love to chat with anyone about this theory, so feel free to reach out in the notes or message me! My inbox is always open. Much love, and thank you for reading, if you got this far! ❤️

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 3: Part Five

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

**TW: Mention of break-in/pet death (it was a fish.)**

.

"And do you know anyone who might want to act maliciously against you?" the police officer asked, his gaze solely focused on you.

"I-I don't," you stuttered, completely overwhelmed. How did they expect you to answer all of their questions when your world was crashing down around you?

"Can we have a minute?" Hongseok asked, tucking you further into his side.

"We need to-" the officer began but immediately halted their words as Hongseok leveled them with a glare.

"I'm asking for a minute," he insisted. "Not the whole night. Let them calm down."

The officer sighed before flipping his notebook closed and motioning for the two of you to stand off to the side. You finally looked up from your shoes and to your apartment door that was now marked as a crime scene.

"Hongseok-" you croaked, shaking your head.

"Shhh," he hummed. You were positive that if he could pull you any closer he would. "I know. Let's have a sit."

Bringing you toward the staircase, he held the bulk of your weight as your slumped toward the carpet. Taking a deep breath as soon as you were seated, you allowed Hongseok to position you to lean against him. For a moment, you were frozen with dismay. Were you being dramatic? Was your reaction too over the top? You knew they were just things...but they were your things.

After Hongseok informed the production crew as to what was going on, you had gone numb. You wanted so badly to get into your apartment, but he was right. The best thing to do was to wait until the police arrived. Once they did, the area was secured and you were allowed to do a quick walk-through of the place you called your home.

It didn't feel like home anymore. What was left could only be described as a shell of what you once knew. Everything had been either destroyed or stolen. Every nook and corner were somehow haunted, the memories of your happiest moments cycling against one another in an attempt to cover up the reality of what was happening.

Whoever had broken in had stolen the most important things, your comfort and security. Aside from that, your furniture was trashed, stabbed, and sprayed down with paint. Vulgar messages were scrawled across the walls in English AND Korean. Your laptop was missing, as was your tablet and several other electronics. The staff had instantly begun tasking you in trying to recall anything that was taken and could be used as blackmail. Luckily, you didn't think you had any. Living in a day and age where things were so easy to be hacked, you tended to avoid keeping anything scandalous lying around. Plus, they employed excellent social media trainers when this whole thing started and you had done a grand deletion of anything questionable then.

The heaviest blow though, had to have been Jinki.

You knew he was just a goldfish, but he didn't deserve to be strung up in your living room as if his life never mattered.

And yes, you had named your goldfish after a member of Shinee, what of it?

"Drink," Hongseok said quietly, handing you a bottle of water that had seemingly materialized out of no where.

You looked at him moodily. "Jinki will never drink again."

"Jinki would want you to be hydrated," he encouraged, pressing the drink into your hands. "And he didn't drink water, he breathed it."

"This is just so messed up," you muttered, humoring him and doing as he said.

"Who would do this?" he whispered, rubbing his forehead. "I understand there are sasaengs, but to go to this level?"

Judging by the words written across your walls, it was definitely a "fan" that was responsible for the crime.

"The online hate was one thing," you said quietly. "I expected it to a certain degree, but I didn't think it would escalate."

"K-pop is such a global and attainable thing now," Hongseok nodded. "There are more fans than ever. I know it's silly not to think any of our supporters capable of this, but..."

"Has the lineup been announced publicly at all?" you asked, tilting your head. The dates were meant to be a surprise for you, but you knew details were commonly leaked online.

"Not that I know of," he sighed. "I mean, of course there's been rumors in the industry of what groups would be participating, but is that really enough to make someone snap?"

"I don't think it takes much to make any given person snap," you muttered. "We could try to reconcile it all day, but really, it's just senseless."

"We can't continue the show," Hongseok said slowly, side-eying you. "Your safety is more important than this."

You hadn't had time to give it much thought, but you figured he was right. The sensible part of you agreed that it was time to shut it all down, but the obstinate part of you pushed in the other direction. You didn't want to give up. You couldn't let the people who did this run you off, but how were you supposed to move forward?

First your apartment...what was next? When would a fan show up at filming and do something even more drastic?

How were you supposed to feel safe ever again?

.

Picking up the pieces of your broken life was one of the hardest things you had ever done.

After the police had finished up at your place, you salvaged what you could and packed it up in a few boxes before the My Idol crew whisked you away to the nearest hotel. To their credit, it was a very nice one that you could never have afforded yourself, but it didn't lessen the sting of the cause for your visit.

And for Hongseok's part, he didn't leave your side until the staff had forced him...into a hotel room down the hall.

To both your delight and horror, the entire show's operation was locking down. You would still be going off the premises for dates (with heavily increased security) but any time a contestant appeared, they would be shipped off to the safety of what had become the My Idol compound.

There was no shutting down production under any circumstances.

You had signed a contract after all, with no escape clauses for this type of situation.

Sighing to yourself, you pulled on an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. Grabbing the ice bucket, you shuffled to your door and gave three knocks. That was the "code" if you needed to leave.

Instantly, you heard the click of your lock (that you weren't allowed the key to) and the door swung toward you. Smiling in the hall was the security officer for the night shift, Insu. "Going somewhere?"

"Ice," you sighed, smiling sadly up at him. Although you had known this man for less than 24 hours, he was already a comforting presence. Standing at least a foot taller, and broad enough to take over half the door way, he was a force to be reckoned with.

And it may not have mattered, but it was worth mentioning...of course he was good looking.

"Optimal time for a late night stroll," he grinned, motioning at you to step into the hall. Walking past him, you tried not to look too long, but it was difficult. While his face was generally unmarred, a long scar was evident from the corner of his left eye, all the way to his jaw. It didn't make him any less handsome, obviously, but added a certain amount of character you weren't expecting. You weren't rude enough to stare or ask, but you were curious of the backstory.

"How's your day going?" you tried, ambling in the direction of the small room that held vending machines and the like.

"Great," he answered calmly, nodding at another security officer stationed by a different hotel room door. You wondered to yourself if Hongseok or Jungkook were locked inside. "I would ask how your day is, but I have a sneaking suspicion I already know the answer."

You felt your lips tug up at this. "It's going better than it was a few hours ago. I think I'm still in shock, honestly."

"That's understandable," he agreed. "Even before today, this world was new to you."

You hummed in response. He was right. Since this show had started, you were trying to navigate new ground, but today had completely upended everything you thought you knew. "How long have you been in security?"

"I did similar work in the military," he acknowledged. "Once I got out, this is what made sense."

"So that means..." you trailed.

"Seven years," he chuckled. "Including the two while I served."

"No way," you gasped, pausing to turn toward him. "How old are you then?"

This startled another laugh from him. "Twenty five."

"Oh," you said quietly before beginning to walk again. "So you joined right after high school then?"

"I did," he confirmed. "I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life and I thought it would be nice to have another two years to consider it."

"Sorry if I'm prying," you winced, worried that you were pestering him while he was just trying to do his job.

"That's not necessary," Insu said. You weren't going to look over your shoulder, but you were certain their was a smile hidden in his deep tone. "It's important that you know who is protecting you."

Turning into the room with the ice machine, you placed your container in the appropriate area and waited. After some loud crunching and getting ice nearly everywhere around your feet, it was time to head back.

"Let me," he insisted, taking the small bucket from your hands.

"It's not heavy," you laughed, glancing up at him.

"Did I say it was?" he hummed, a spark of something playful in his expression.

"Just being a gentleman then, got it," you hummed, allowing him to fall behind you again.

"It's quite literally my job to make this a little easier for you," he affirmed. "But I'll take the compliment."

Walking back down the hall, he turned the conversation your way. After answering a series of questions about schooling and your career, it wasn't long before you were at your door again.

You weren't expecting to feel so...disappointed.

"Get settled in for the night," Insu advised, handing the bucket back over to you. "Hyuk will be taking over in the morning."

"Right," you nodded. "Goodnight then."

"Sleep well."

Closing the door between you felt much louder than it should have. Shaking your head, you tried to clear your thoughts. It had been a long day. It was natural to try to find comfort in anyone that had crossed your path.

"Of course," you whispered to yourself. That's exactly what it was.

..

Hyuk was not nearly as graceful as Insu.

"Sorry," he grumbled, shouldering open the stairway door. He wasn't much taller than you and was likely old enough to be your father. "This building must be old."

"Right," you laughed nervously, stepping around him and toward the lobby area.

Being in one central location wasn't so bad, but you weren't sure how transportation would work.

"He's already at the destination," Hyuk said, as if reading your thoughts. You nodded absently at him as you saw the My Idol SUV already parked outside. Admittedly, you were exhausted. After the day and night you had, it was nearly impossible to fall asleep. The PD's you worked most closely with tried to push today's date out a few times, but scheduling simply wouldn't allow it.

Climbing into the vehicle, you plopped into the backseat, your eyes quickly catching on what was going on outside of the vehicle. Across the street, barricades had already been set up to contain the fans who had evidently found out what hotel you were staying in.

"What?" you hissed, angling yourself to look more closely.

"We've got the situation handled," Hyuk reassured. "They're being kept as far from the building as possible."

"Across the road is as far away as possible?" you whispered, your stomach dangerously close to vomiting what little contents you had in it. "How did they find out?"

"In this city, if you want to know something bad enough," he grumbled. "You can usually find someone willing to give it to you for the right price."

Turning toward him, you knew he saw shock plain on your face.

"Welcome to celebrity life, Mx. Y/N," he sighed.

After a quiet car ride that only took about ten minutes, you felt anxiety begin to crawl up your spine as your driver pulled into a large parking lot. Looking out of your window again, you saw the location for today, the Han River.

"Isn't this too open?" you asked, trying to tap down your panic. "So many people are around."

"We have a specific area cleared out," Hyuk said, his voice more gentle than it had been before. "We will keep you safe."

You swallowed hard and gave a curt nod. If you were going to do this, you had to trust the people around you no matter how difficult it was proving to be.

"Don't let them win," you whispered. Maybe if you repeated the mantra, it would make this whole thing easier.

Hyuk looked at you with a lifted brow. "Good call."

Easing out of the car behind him, you were disheartened. The usual rush of butterflies and anxiety that came before a date were a bit dampened. Of course, it was understandable given the situation, but it also wasn't fair to your date. Or yourself.

Taking a deep breath, you set your feet on the pavement and looked up at the grassy knoll beyond. Surrounded by security and the camera crew, a man stood before a small pop-up tent. Holding a slim box in front of his face, you only assumed it was a man by his build. Broad and muscular, he was dressed in dark, ripped jeans and a black t-shirt. As you drew closer, you narrowed your eyes at what he was holding.

"What's this?" you mused, shaking your head in disbelief.

Your date pulled the box away from his face and gave you a large smile. "Hi, I'm Ateez's San, and this, is a gift from me to you."

Pushing the item away from himself and into your hands, you looked down and chuckled softly. "A new laptop?"

"I heard you've had a rough few days," he hummed, securing his hands behind his back. You glanced up at him, his handsome face wearing an easy smile. "And lost a lot more than anyone deserves to."

"San-," you whispered, on the verge of crying. The gift was expensive, there was no way you could accept it, especially from someone you had only just met. "I can't-"

"Nope," he said, cutting you off immediately. "Getting back to normalcy in a time that's anything but normal is hard. You gotta start somewhere, right?"

"I swear if this starts a chain of dates bringing me household appliances," you teased, looking at him with gratitude.

"Then we'll all be taking our turns making life a little easier on you," he grinned. "One step at a time."

In Loving Memory:

Sea Jin Ki (2022 - 2023)

[my-never-ending-nightmare]

11/22/2021

“Why are you reading Wikipedia in Walmart?”

By far one of the strangest questions I’ve ever been asked lol. And honestly one that scared the shit out of me, too. Because the person asking it was somebody who I haven’t seen in at least 5 years – and they were standing right behind me. I had no idea they were there at all. Idk if I was super engrossed in what I was reading or if her stealth stats are just maxed out but regardless – it startled me. And to put this in some sort of context that makes more sense: I had been looking through the DVD/Blu-ray bargain bin at Walmart and there was this shitty looking documentary series about the most defining moments of the 21st century (thus far, I guess) and the second episode was supposed to be about 9/11, “the first attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor.” Which got me thinking – during WWII didn’t the Germans torpedo American ships in & around the NYC harbor after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor? If so, then I guess this DVDs claim was technically correct – but aren’t a countries waters considered part of that country and thus technically an attack there would be an attack on said country itself? It was these questions that led to me pulling out my phone and looking up U-boat operations in the Atlantic and American East Coast from 1939 to 1945 lol.

I’ve always had an incredibly inquisitive and analytical mind, so much so that when I was growing up adults always used to jokingly tell me that I should be a lawyer. But this kind of a mind meant that Wikipedia was a godsend for me. I’m always pulling my phone out randomly throughout the day to look up random information and facts regarding whatever thought or question has popped into my head. Like, Wikipedia is probably the only reason my head is as full of random names, dates, quotes, & facts as it is. My parents have told me before that it used to drive them nuts when I was a kid because I used to constantly ask questions. Especially during car rides. Stuff like why is the sky blue? Or, why don’t dogs live longer? It got so bad that when I was 5 years old they gave me a portable cassette player (this was 1999) so that I would hopefully distract myself by listening to music. I still remember one of those cassettes really well – it was a tape of Alvin & The Chipmunks songs. In fact, I can even specifically remember listening to it while strapped into the booster seat in the back of my parents van when I asked my mom this exact question: why don’t motorcycles have seatbelts? And I can even vaguely remember her trying to tell me that a seatbelt would just do more harm than good in a motorcycle accident.

As I got older the questions became more & more complex. I wanted to know the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How about everything and anything. So when I discovered Google & Wikipedia sometime around 2003 when I first started getting my taste of unsupervised internet access it must have been such a relief to my parents. I still asked my parents random, pretty difficult questions well into my early teens – but my thoughts & questions were becoming darker & darker until one of the last serious questions I ever remember going to them for an answer to was something along the lines of: If God is real then why do so many horrible things happen? If the world is full of this much pain & suffering then how can God be real if he loves us? And if he is real, isn’t it more likely that he doesn’t want us?

As irresponsible as it was of my parents to give a 9 year old unmonitored internet access, at least it saved them from having to answer such unanswerable questions lol.

It really bothered me growing up when teachers always used to talk shit about Wikipedia & disallowed it to be used as a source in any school work. Like, Wikipedia is an incredibly good source of information regarding nearly anything - and practically every sentence in an article has a source for it. I used to always bypass the Wiki ban in high school & college by just finding the source, checking it myself to make sure it actually contains the information Wiki said it does, then I'd just use that source material as my source. It made life so easy lol. I think boomers just had/have a kneejerk reaction to something new that they don't care to try to understand. But, then again, I’m growing increasingly guilty of the same sort of thing the older I get.

Anyway, I guess my point is this: Of all the awkward situations I've been in (and I've been in quite a few) none were as difficult to talk my way out of as having to explain to an old friend what the Kriegsmarine was & why I'm standing in Walmart reading about their operations against the United States of America during World War II lmao

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Keeping Me Alive

Chapter 10: Get Out Alive

by @dracusfyre​

    Now

“Save who you can,” Tony said to himself as he splashed water on his face.

He blindly grabbed for a towel and dried off, meeting his eyes in the mirror for what felt like the first time in years. “Don’t look back.” He straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, and went out into his bedroom. He picked up the photo that sat on his bedside table and took it out of the frame, tucking it into the pocket of his pants. Glancing around his bedroom, he nodded once, and went down to his workshop. He saluted the painting of Howard on the wall then dug out the photo of the Winter Soldier from his desk and set it on fire, dropping it to the concrete floor and watching it burn.

 “Ready, JARVIS?” he asked. He ground the last bit of embers into the concrete to put them out.

 “Are you ready, sir?”

 “Yep,” Tony lied. “Let’s rock and roll.”

“Let it Burn Protocol initiated.” As JARVIS spoke, Tony felt the first explosion rock the house, rumbling through his feet as he stepped into the matte black suit in the gantry in the middle of the room. The facemask closed over his face as cracks appeared in the walls of the lab, and as the ground fell away from his feet he was already in the air.

36 days ago

Once he was sure that Stane was gone for good, Tony went down to his work shop and said, “Wake up, JARVIS, we have work to do.”

Sitting down at his workstation, he opened up the master file with the suit schematics and eyed the hologram critically. The hardest part of the suit to master was going to be the flight system, so he isolated and magnified that part from the diagram, studying the repulsors built into the gauntlets and boots with stabilizers along the back. “Start machining the parts I’m going to need for these,” he said. “Circumstances have changed and we are going to need to hit the ground running, so to speak."

“Yes, sir,” JARVIS said, and the whirring of machinery became a low hum, punctuated by sharp bzzts as parts were cut and de-burred. Tony studied the prototype, exploding the diagram, moving it around, and after a while came up with a short list of non-critical design items he could spoon feed to Hydra to show his ‘enthusiastic’ cooperation. An hour later, the whirring stopped and the sudden quiet broke Tony out of his concentration. He sat up and stretched, wincing as his back popped. Standing, he went over to the coffee maker and started a new pot, then dug under the counter for his emergency stash of scotch, splashing a fingers worth in his mug while he waited for the coffee.

He had realized two very important things today. The first was that the Soldier needed saving even more than Tony did; the knowledge that the man was Hydra’s slave, kept ignorant and locked up until Hydra needed an attack dog, had shifted Tony’s world view like a kaleidoscope, shaking up everything he thought knew and making an entirely new pattern. The second was that he couldn't keep waiting around for a chance to escape, he was going to have to make one.

This suit, he knew, was the key to both of those realizations. But this half-baked, insane plan to rescue the Winter Soldier was going to kick the anthill big time and Tony also knew he needed to have some kind of plan for dealing with Hydra in the aftermath. This wasn’t going to be like Afghanistan, where he thought he was out and got pulled right back in again. The stakes were way too high this time.

With that thought in mind, when the coffee was done, he filled up his mug and went back to his desk. He pulled up the operating program for the suit and created a subroutine to overload the reactor, ignoring the flash red warning that said that this would result in a critical core breach and an uncontrolled chain reaction, and set the activation code as “Last Resort.”

One way or another, he thought as he sipped on his doctored coffee, this suit would be his way out.

  32 Days Ago

Tony stared tiredly at the news as he took a swallow of stone-cold coffee. The breaking report was about the assassination of an Iranian nuclear scientist. Iran was already blaming Israel, who was of course denying it, but in response Iran was threatening to pull out of the treaties against nuclear enrichment and swore they could split the atom within the year. Political and military analysts were seeing storm clouds on the horizon unless someone backed down and talking about how another war would tax America's already overstretched military. Tony, meanwhile, could tell that this assassination had Hydra's fingerprints all over it, and knew that this was almost certainly the work of the Soldier. "JARVIS," Tony said, muting the television. "I need you to break into Hydra’s servers and find everything you can on the Winter Soldier. Cross reference it with the name James Barnes.” There was a chance that Stane had made the name up, but it seemed unlikely – from what he could tell, the Soldier would have responded to anything, and ‘James Barnes’ was a lot more specific than a simple ‘John Smith’ or ‘Joe Blow.’ “Actually, while you’re at it,” Tony said, having a sudden thought, “I want all of Hydra’s files. Copy them to one of SI’s remote servers.”

Hours later, Tony was just finishing up the wiring assembly for the repulsor system when his computer dinged. Setting down the soldering gun, Tony rubbed his eyes tiredly and turned on his monitor to see what JARVIS had found. To his dismay, there were thousands of files on the Winter Soldier; as he scrolled down the list, he realized that they went back decades. “Fuck,” he said aloud as he looked at the dates and the file names, most of which were a string of letters and numbers that no doubt made sense to someone in Hydra but gave no clue as to what the file contained. He buried his head in his hands and tried not to cry at the enormity of the task in front of him. He was so tired that his eyes were blurry and his head was pounding, but every time he tried to close his eyes he kept seeing James’s body arching with pain and hearing his screams.

“Sir, it has been twelve hours and thirty-six minutes since you last ate,” JARVIS said. “And you’ve made four mistakes in the past fifteen minutes. You need to rest.”

“I have?” Tony pulled his magnifying glass back over to the circuit board and saw what JARVIS was talking about. “Shit. Alright, fine.” He pushed away from the desk and went to the bar sink next to the coffee pot and ran his head under cold water for a second. He came up and wiped his face and the back of his neck, shivering as water dripped from his hair down his back, and went upstairs to look for food. Leaving his work shop felt like he was crossing into hostile territory, like he could be attacked at any moment. And he could, he thought as he opened the refrigerator. Stane had made sure that he always had free access to Tony’s home, because a locked door meant secrets and the only secrets Hydra allowed were their own. He wished he could just walk away from this place, blow it up and find a place to live that Hydra had never stepped foot in, a place that would feel like it was his –

He froze with a jug of orange juice in his hand. He stood there, thoughts racing, for so long that the chiller on the refrigerator came on with a hum. Then Tony said “Huh” to the boxes of leftovers and absently shut the fridge door, OJ still in hand.

25 Days Ago

“JARVIS, this doesn’t make sense,” Tony said, rereading the file for the fifth time. “This thing is saying that the first Winter Soldier was James Barnes, but the current Winter Soldier is James Barnes.” It was hard to think that it was a clerical error, since the earliest files went back to the 1940s and consisted of paper files that had been scanned into a computer sometimes in the 80s. “Is it an alias? Are all Winter Soldiers called ‘James Barnes’ as a security precaution?”

“Facial pattern analysis indicates that it is the same James Barnes,” JARVIS said, and it flashed up an image that looked like a scanned-in polaroid; in it the man was unconscious on an operating table, face dirty and bloody and pale. Next to it JARVIS pulled up an image from Hydra’s own security footage of what the Soldier looked like without his goggles and mask on. There was a vague resemblance to Tony’s eyes, but as the facial recognition algorithm measured the features in each photograph, the conclusion was mathematically precise – there was a 99.7% chance that it was the same man in each photo.

Tony’s face went slack with shock. “How is that possible? He’d have to be almost 100 years old!”

“That part I don’t know, sir.”

“Holy shit.” Tony went back to the original file, reading it more carefully. “James Buchanan Barnes,” he read. “Born 1917. American POW.” He paused at that and sat back in his chair. “Why does that sound familiar?”

In response, JARVIS pulled up a Wikipedia page on Tony’s screen. As he read it, Tony was speechless; for a long moment, he flipped screens between the dead-eyed man from Hydra’s surveillance footage and the smiling man with his arm around Captain America, but this time he didn’t need JARVIS to tell him that it was the same man. The implications made his stomach turn, and as he stared at the screen he exhaled shakily and covered his mouth with his hands. 80 years. James Barnes had been in Hydra’s clutches for 80 years.

He stood suddenly, sending his chair rolling backwards. “We’re doing another flight test. Right now.” 80 years was already far too long, and Tony wasn't going to let it be one more day longer than it had to be.

19 Days Ago

“Tony!” Ms. Potts said with surprise. “I didn’t expect you in the office today.”

Probably because Tony had been dodging Stark Industries for a while now, only coming out of his lab long enough to get her to leave him alone before burying himself in work again. It had occurred to him as he got in his car to go to SI headquarters, blinking in the bright sunlight, that this was the first time he had been outside of the house since Stane’s forced excursion. “Yeah, I wanted to meet with you,” Tony said, shutting the door behind him.  He set a stack of papers in front of her as he sat down.

“What’s this?” She said, flipping through the papers. There was a line of confusion between her eyebrows which only deepened as she started reading them.

“I’m making you CEO of Stark Industries,” Tony said. “Effective two weeks from now. Should be an easy transition, you do most of my job anyway.” He grabbed a pin from her desk and clicked it, the sound loud in the sudden silence. “Sign on the highlighted line, please,” he added, holding the pen out to her, and despite everything he had to smile at the stunned look on her face.

  11 Days Ago

Tony put a hand on Rhodey’s arm and met his eyes, willing him to understand. “I’m saying that Afghanistan wasn’t a random attack,” he said urgently. “I think I was being targeted, and I think whoever did it might try again.” He palmed a thumb drive from his pocket and slid it across the table. In the Hydra files, JARVIS had found that a senator named Stern had been behind the Afghanistan attack, apparently trying to get Tony out of the way so that his good buddy Justin Hammer and his company Hammer Industries could take over SI's lucrative military contracts. There was all of that and more on here, just enough information that if Rhodey put all the threads together he would start getting the bigger picture. Pierce, the STRIKE teams, all of it. “If anything happens to me, I need you to finish what I’ve started.”

“Tony, if you are afraid for your life-“ Rhodey started, still looking dubious but starting to get alarmed.

“Not just me. You. Ms. Potts. Anyone I'm friends with. I can’t do anything to make these people suspicious,” Tony insisted. It was strange to feel like he was lying even though every word he’d said was true. “No unexplained bodyguards, no sudden trips, and absolutely no cops.”

“I don’t like this,” Rhodey said emphatically. “You’re asking me to sit back and wait to see if someone kills you!”

“I know what I’m doing,” Tony said. That part was a lie. He had a plan in the broadest definition of the word; mostly he was making it up as he went along and praying he could handle the fallout. “I need you to trust me.” Rhodey’s mouth was a grim line and his jaw was tight, and Tony knew he wasn’t convinced so he pulled out his trump card. “I can’t do this unless I know you are safe,” he said, lowering his voice and leaning forward. “I won’t risk you.” It took a long minute, and Rhodey looked like he was swallowing something unpleasant, but he finally nodded and put the thumb drive in his pocket. Tony exhaled and sagged with relief. “Thank you."

“When this is over, you better have a good damn explanation,” Rhodey said threateningly, and Tony barked out a humorless laugh.

“You won’t even believe me when you hear it.”

  8 Days Ago

After Tony hit save on the final design of the suit, he stumbled over to the couch and landed on it face first, exhausted. He was laying on the couch, eyes drifting shut as he went over his plan for the hundredth time trying to figure out if he’d missed anything when the lab went dark. “What the hell, JARVIS?”

“Sir, it’s been 56 hours since you last slept,” JARVIS said. “I’m turning off your systems for a minimum of twelve hours.” The light in the stairwell going up to the main floor turned on, its glow just enough to let Tony get from the couch to the door without running into anything.

Tony stayed stubbornly on the couch. “We don’t have twelve hours to waste,” he said. “Turn my power back on.”

The lights stayed off. “Sir, you are a hazard to yourself and others.” Tony scowled and wondered if he had actually programmed JARVIS like this or if he was channeling the man himself. "Also, there's nothing for you to do while I assemble the suit."

“Fine. Ten hours.”

“Ten hours," JARVIS repeated. "I will be monitoring the situation while you sleep,” he added, and Tony knew that he meant not just monitoring Stane and James, but also Tony’s vital signs to make sure he actually slept.

“You’re insufferable,” Tony accused as he made his way up the stairs.

“Yes, sir.”

 2 Days Ago

“Sir, there’s something you should see.”

Tony looked up from the fine-tuning he was doing on the suit’s shoulder-fired weapons to look at the computer screen. JARVIS had maximized the window where he was constantly monitoring Pierce’s communications and highlighted a text that had just been sent. It was to an unknown number and all it said was lvl 10, CovJer10131973 nlt 200810162200Z. The first part was clearly a target identifier and Tony knew enough about the military to recognize the latter as a date time group, set for five days from now. “Bring up the camera feed,” Tony said, and sure enough when Tony looked at the video surveillance of the room where James was kept, he could see that the lights in the room were on and a technician was already in the room powering on computers. They’d found out a while ago that what Tony had taken for a hyperbaric chamber was in fact a cryostasis chamber, which partly explained why James was almost a hundred years old but looked younger than Tony.

“Shit." Tony exhaled long and low, feeling his heart rate spike with nervousness. "How long it takes to thaw him out? Was that in his files?”

JARVIS was silent for a moment. “Evidence suggests approximately 24 hours from the time the procedure is first initiated,” he said.

“Right,” Tony said grimly, turning back to his work with a new urgency. “Guess it’s time.”

 Now

Tony flew north along the coast as his house collapsed into the Pacific Ocean behind him, throwing billowing clouds of dust and smoke into the air as carefully placed explosives reduced it to a smoking ruin. It was thrilling and terrifying to know that for all intents and purposes Tony Stark was sinking to the bottom of the ocean. He'd become a dead man after all, and now the only thing left was this suit and his mission: rescue the Winter Soldier then burn Hydra to the ground.

“Pull up James' video feed for me," Tony said as he flew. Since he was over water, he set the suit to autopilot and shifted his attention to the small window at the corner of his HUD.  James was out of the cryostasis chamber, sitting on a chair as a medical assistant appeared to be taking his vitals. Every now and then he shivered, still shirtless. Other technicians were milling around, tending to the computers, and standing guard were was two members of the STRIKE team, hands on their weapons as they kept an eye on him. His records had indicated that he was prone to ‘erratic violent outbursts,’ which Tony figured was code for “periodically tries to fight back.” Tony had actually been happy to read that, because it meant that Hydra hadn't managed to break him completely. Right now, though, James just seemed willing to numbly submit to whatever the technicians were doing, his long hair a curtain in front of his face as he stared at the floor.

“Sir, we are approaching the facility,” JARVIS said, and minimized the video. Tony flew lower to the water, navigating around the giant cargo ships at dock. Even for a twenty-four hour facility it was late, and there were only one or two ships that had people still unloading shipping containers. He landed close to the Hydra facility but out of the line of sight; he had managed to camouflage the suit to the best of his ability, but he couldn’t hide the bright lights of the repulsors so he made the rest of the approach on foot.

JARVIS’s scanners found four total guards around the building, patrolling in pairs. By sticking to the deep shadows cast by the stacked shipping containers and the orange-yellow glow of the sodium-vapor security lights, Tony got within hearing distance and hit them with a pulse of high-pitched wave frequency. They both stiffened and fell over, paralyzed, helmets bouncing off the pavement hard enough to knock them unconscious. Tony bound them with their own zip ties and hid them out of sight, then used his backdoor access to the security system to unlock the doors and set all the surveillance cameras on a one hour loop. As he strode through the door into the lab, all eyes turned to face him, and before anyone could even speak there was a brrrt noise and they fell to the floor, killed by the precision targeting system Tony had built into his suit.

When JARVIS confirmed they were all dead, Tony took off the helmet and looked down at one of the bodies; the one closest to him had been here a month ago, monitoring James’ vitals as they wiped his mind. This was the first time Tony had killed anyone and he expected to feel..something, sad or upset or even vindictive, but he didn’t really feel anything. It all felt too easy, and Tony knew it was because he had designed a suit that had made it that easy. All the more reason that Hydra couldn't be allowed to get their hands on it.

James was still sitting in the chair, watching Tony as he approached; he hadn’t even gone for cover as everyone around him had died. Tony wondered if it was out of surprise or indifference. “Do you know me?” He asked, coming to stand in front of him. James studied his features for a moment and shook his head. “My name is Tony Stark. You are James Buchanan Barnes, and I am here to rescue you.” Tony offered him a hand to get to his feet, but James didn’t move, he just stared at Tony with those glacier blue eyes. There wasn't blankness in them now, only a narrow-eyed look of consideration. “Come on,” Tony tried again. “We’re escaping. We have to hurry before more people show up.”

James didn’t move. “There is no escape from Hydra. The only way out is-”

“Death, I know.” Tony kept his hand out but gestured expressively around the room with the other. “But they never said whose death.”

James studied him again, then turned his gaze to the dead bodies. Finally, after a long moment, he took Tony’s hand and let him pull him to his feet.