#mind fudge

[ruminate88]

The mind fudge of emotional abuse:

After I broke up with my ex Andrew, I’m trying so hard to move on but I was beyond confused because he wouldn’t break up with me at all but was a robot whenever I ended things. His exact response was, “Aww…. Okay! Can we still be friends?” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 what???

Theeeeeeeen I’m a mess. I felt like he’s the one who ended it, not me. I cried so hard the whole freakin night. My family is over and I locked myself in my bathroom with the fan on so no one could hear how hard I was crying. I shook and felt my world crumble. I dreamt about him allllllll night long. It was a VERY sexual dream 😝😝😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 was pure torture! I felt it wasn’t over with him.

NEXT MORNING, I text him soon as I woke up….. wow. 🙄 Why did I do that??? I had no self control. I text him and say, “Hey, how are you doing since yesterday?” AND he says, “I’m fine, thanks. How about you?” Um… YOU’RE FINE???? Youuu did not want to break up but you don’t cry when I do it and you’re fine????? 😨🥴 I stupidly said to him, “No, I’m not fine. I feel like a zombie.” 💔💔💔 He replies back with, “Awww I’m really sorry. You just need time and space for yourself today.” Basically was code for: “don’t text me”. Was it not??? (Prob cuz he’s got his new gf and doesn’t want her to see my text)

I felt very very stupid and tried so hard to get away from him. I deleted my instagram cuz it was covered in his photos 😝😝😝 even tho he had zero photos of me on his. (One-sided relationship) I cried so hard as I forced also delete his photos and text messages. I felt inside of me it still wasn’t over. I had VERY mixed feelings of him. I felt sooooo awful not being in contact with him and I felt still very much attached to him (trauma bond) I eventually contacted him again to ask how he’s doing and I opened a whole can of worms 🥴🥴🥴🥴

suddenly we’re “friends” and he’s texting me like he knows me so well and “cares”. I felt comfortable to open up about my mental health but he turned that conversation sexual 😳 and for two weeks we continued to be sexual but then spent a weekend arguing and I had a suicide attack. He was there for it. ❤️‍🩹 we “made up” on that Sunday night late and he asked me, “Could we please start over as friends and treat each other better and not fight anymore??” I say yes but I am so conflicted. (Of course he doesn’t text me that whole week)

That week i am trying soooo hard to get on with life but then the next week comes, and BOOM he “FaceTime audio” calls me. Who calls on that???? I answer confused and I already know he’s at work cuz I knew his work schedule. He says nothing though but I hear background noise. I talk and ask him if he’s ok, if he’s there and what’s going on. I know he’s at work but I ask, “hey, you at work??? Did you butt-dial me????” THEN he hangs up. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Sends me a text not 10 mins later that says, “I am at work and I’m busy. What do you want?” Wow okay…. I AM NOT CRAZY! I didn’t call him. He called me.

Now I’m realizing he’s playing mind games. I’m losing it for real. I can’t win with him. Eventually we’re no longer in contact and I force myself to get on a new dating app and one of the first guys I match with LOOKS LIKE ANDREW. His twin. Same hat. I was losing it…. This guy matches with me and begins to text me. I ASK the guy if his name is Andrew and he says no. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🥴🥴🥴😳 BUT they twins. Ahhhhh I was going insane!!

I also matched with another guy who went to school with Andrew and knows him 😭😭😭 I COULD NOT ESCAPE Andrew. I tried so hard. Finally I met my husband and a month after we start a relationship, Andrew started FaceTiming me but only letting it ring a few times. Just enough so his name would show up on my phone AND it came up as a “missed call”. He did it twice in the same day and my husband whom I just started dating had to threaten Andrew to leave me alone 😝😳 he said Andrew acted like he was going to cry…

YEARS LATER, I see Andrew’s car everywhere I go and feel he’s watching me from a far off… somewhere near by watching me. It’s pure paranoia and insanity! I see his name everywhere too ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 (of course Andrew is a popular name) When does it all truly end??? It NEVER feels over with him.

[book--brackets]

Summaries under the cut

Gallagher Girls by Ally Carter

Cammie Morgan is a student at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, a fairly typical all-girls school—that is, if every school taught advanced martial arts in PE and the latest in chemical warfare in science, and students received extra credit for breaking CIA codes in computer class. The Gallagher Academy might claim to be a school for geniuses, but it's really a school for spies. Even though Cammie is fluent in fourteen languages and capable of killing a man in seven different ways, she has no idea what to do when she meets an ordinary boy who thinks she's an ordinary girl. Sure, she can tap his phone, hack into his computer, or track him through town with the skill of a real "pavement artist"—but can she maneuver a relationship with someone who can never know the truth about her?

Fablehaven by Brandon Mull

Trespassers will be turned to stone

For centuries, mystical creatures of all description were gathered to a hidden refuge called Fablehaven to prevent their extinction. The sanctuary is one of the last strongholds of true magic. Enchanting? Absolutely. Exciting? You bet. Safe? Well, actually, quite the opposite . . .

Kendra and her brother, Seth, have no idea their grandfather is the current caretaker of Fablehaven. Inside the gated woods, ancient laws keep order among greedy trolls, mischievous satyrs, plotting witches, spiteful imps, and jealous fairies. However, when the rules get broken, powerful forces of evil are unleashed, forcing Kendra and Seth to face the greatest challenge of their lives, to save their family, Fablehaven, and perhaps even the world.

The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott

Nicholas Flamel was born in Paris on 28 September 1330. Nearly seven hundred years later, he is acknowledged as the greatest Alchemyst of his day. It is said that he discovered the secret of eternal life. The records show that he died in 1418. But his tomb is empty and Nicholas Flamel lives. The secret of eternal life is hidden within the book he protects—the Book of Abraham the Mage. It's the most powerful book that has ever existed. In the wrong hands, it will destroy the world. And that's exactly what Dr. John Dee plans to do when he steals it. Humankind won't know what's happening until it's too late. And if the prophecy is right, Sophie and Josh Newman are the only ones with the power to save the world as we know it. Sometimes legends are true. And Sophie and Josh Newman are about to find themselves in the middle of the greatest legend of all time.

Out of My Mind by Shannon Draper

Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy. And she's determined to let everyone know it - somehow.

The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare

Orphaned Kit Tyler knows, as she gazes for the first time at the cold, bleak shores of Connecticut Colony, that her new home will never be like the shimmering Caribbean island she left behind. In her relatives' stern Puritan community, she feels like a tropical bird that has flown to the wrong part of the world, a bird that is now caged and lonely. The only place where Kit feels completely free is in the meadows, where she enjoys the company of the old Quaker woman known as the Witch of Blackbird Pond, and on occasion, her young sailor friend Nat. But when Kit's friendship with the "witch" is discovered, Kit is faced with suspicion, fear, and anger. She herself is accused of witchcraft!

Books of Bayern by Shannon Hale

She was born with her eyes closed and a word on her tongue, a word she could not taste.

Her name was Anidori-Kiladra Talianna Isilee, Crown Princess of Kildenree, and she spent the first years of her life listening to her aunt’s stories and learning the language of the birds, especially the swans. And when she was older, she watched as a colt was born, and she heard the first word on his tongue, his name, Falada.

From the Grimm’s fairy tale of the princess who became a goose girl before she could become queen, Shannon Hale has woven an incredible, original, and magical tale of a girl who must find her own unusual talents before she can lead the people she has made her own.

Fudge by Judy Blume

Life with his little brother, Fudge, makes Peter Hatcher feel like a fourth grade nothing. Whether Fudge is throwing a temper tantrum in a shoe store, smearing mashed potatoes on the walls at Hamburger Heaven, or trying to fly, he's never far from trouble. He's an almost three-year-old terror who gets away with everything, and Peter's had it up to here! When Fudge walks off with Dribble, Peter's pet turtle, it's the last straw. Peter has put up with Fudge for too long. Way too long! How can he get his parents to pay attention to him for a change?

Bartimaeus by Jonathan Stroud

Nathaniel is a boy magician-in-training, sold to the government by his birth parents at the age of five and sent to live as an apprentice to a master. Powerful magicians rule Britain, and its empire, and Nathaniel is told his is the "ultimate sacrifice" for a "noble destiny."

If leaving his parents and erasing his past life isn't tough enough, Nathaniel's master, Arthur Underwood, is a cold, condescending, and cruel middle-ranking magician in the Ministry of Internal Affairs. The boy's only saving grace is the master's wife, Martha Underwood, who shows him genuine affection that he rewards with fierce devotion. Nathaniel gets along tolerably well over the years in the Underwood household until the summer before his eleventh birthday. Everything changes when he is publicly humiliated by the ruthless magician Simon Lovelace and betrayed by his cowardly master who does not defend him.

Nathaniel vows revenge. In a Faustian fever, he devours magical texts and hones his magic skills, all the while trying to appear subservient to his master. When he musters the strength to summon the 5,000-year-old djinni Bartimaeus to avenge Lovelace by stealing the powerful Amulet of Samarkand, the boy magician plunges into a situation more dangerous and deadly than anything he could ever imagine.

Shadow Children by Margaret Peterson Haddix

Luke has never been to school. He's never had a birthday party, or gone to a friend's house for an overnight. In fact, Luke has never had a friend.

Luke is one of the shadow children, a third child forbidden by the Population Police. He's lived his entire life in hiding, and now, with a new housing development replacing the woods next to his family's farm, he is no longer even allowed to go outside.

Then, one day Luke sees a girl's face in the window of a house where he knows two other children already live. Finally, he's met a shadow child like himself. Jen is willing to risk everything to come out of the shadows - does Luke dare to become involved in her dangerous plan? Can he afford not to?

Princess Academy by Shannon Hale

Miri lives on a mountain where, for generations, her ancestors have quarried stone and lived a simple life. Then word comes that the king's priests have divined her small village the home of the future princess. In a year's time, the prince himself will come and choose his bride from among the girls of the village. The king's ministers set up an academy on the mountain, and every teenage girl must attend and learn how to become a princess.

Miri soon finds herself confronted with a harsh academy mistress, bitter competition among the girls, and her own conflicting desires to be chosen and win the heart of her childhood best friend. But when bandits seek out the academy to kidnap the future princess, Miri must rally the girls together and use a power unique to the mountain dwellers to save herself and her classmates.

[ingravinoveritas]

You know what's kind of wild to me? Anna just confirmed they've been together for 6 years. People forget she's still 29, and isn't 30 yet. So they met when she was still 23. Not hugely different from 25, but notable I think. Idk where the narrative that she was 25 came from and how that stuck.

Hi there! So I am still catching up on Asks, and I wanted to make sure I addressed these (grouped together due to similar themes). For those who might not have seen, what is being referred to are two separate incidents that occurred in the days after Anna posted the t-shirt story on Instagram. On Tuesday, she posted this story lashing out at a Swedish publication for sharing a story originally from a UK publication (The Independent) about Michael's answer to the age gap question on The Assembly. The story was originally in Swedish, but the English translation is on the right:

Then on Wednesday, she did the same thing again, this time with another Swedish paper:

Since so much of this hinges on what Michael said in his response, I will post a short clip of that here, so we have the visual:

When AL's stories were first posted, I noticed a few comments on a post from @nightgoodomens from someone who speaks Swedish, and after reading the article, their observation was that all the magazines did was literally translate what Michael said, word for word (which we can then also further confirm by watching the video above).

So Michael's words were translated directly, and on top of that, Anna was not tagged by these papers, or contacted by reporters "for comment"--she seemingly sought out these news stories and shared them on her own social media. What's strange is that most of us would never have even seen them otherwise, and yet she chose to draw attention to them. And if these articles truly are meaningless clickbait, I'm confused as to why Anna would lash out so hard at them, especially if she feels as secure in her and Michael's relationship as she has wanted us to believe.

The other thing for me is that the one voice that is (again) noticeably absent here is Michael's. Nearly every post Michael has responded to/shared in relation to The Assembly was about a moment between him and one of the interviewers, Leo. Not only has the clip of Michael's answer to the age gap question gotten much less circulation/attention than the initial clip of the girl asking him the question, he has not said a single word about it since the show aired on April 5th.

He has especially not said anything about being misquoted (either in UK magazines/newspapers or international ones). And this becomes even more glaring when you realize that Michael immediately jumped on someone Twitter the day before AL shared that first story and corrected them for misquoting him (in regard to his comments about Welsh actors and Welsh roles). So it's very clear that if Michael thought he was being misquoted, there is no reason why he wouldn't speak up about it. And yet...complete silence.

I also find it interesting that for months, Michael was being attacked on social media, first in the aftermath of his comments about the situation in the Middle East, then more recently after recording a video saying hello to Good Omens fans in Russia. In both cases, he was defamed over and over again, accused of supporting war and genocide, and in general had his comments twisted and distorted beyond recognition--in other words, he was repeatedly misquoted (to put it mildly). Not once did Anna defend him against any of this. Not once was there an Insta story or anything speaking up in support of Michael. But as soon as it was something about her/their relationship, here she was posting these stories and letting us know exactly what her priorities are.

To your comments @lookforthelight97 about AL inadvertently saying the quiet parts out loud, that was also something that caught my attention. We could be here all day talking about the narrative and who is trying to change what, but for those who don't know, the narrative of her being 25 came from every media outlet stating that Michael and AL met in May of 2019...despite the fact that she gave birth to Lyra just four months later, in September.

It was this discrepancy that gave a lot of us the feeling that something was off even back in 2019 (and I would urge folks to check out @problematicwelshman, who covered a lot more of this at the time). In actuality, Michael and AL would have had to have met in late 2018 (when Anna was actually 24, as her birthday is in August) for her to then become pregnant and have the baby in September. All of this to say that if the official PR line for the last five years has been that they met in 2019, it makes you wonder why AL is suddenly publicly contradicting it, especially to show the lack of contentment she seems to feel about the relationship even after five (pardon me, six) years.

In any case, my incredulity is and continues to be at AL so readily showing her insecurities in this way, because all these two Insta stories have done is to draw more attention to her response than to the articles that are mentioned. Articles that again, none of us would have known about if she hadn't shared them. Yet as was said above, I don't think there is anything that anyone could post or write that casts doubt on Michael and AL's relationship the way her own social media posts do.

And to what you @vaguelyomens and @angelsadvocate96 said about Michael mentioning that his greatest fear is being alone, I feel like maybe Michael has such a fear of being alone because he already knows what it's like to feel alone. To know deep down that you are not remotely on the same page as the person you're in a relationship with. To know that they don't understand you and never will, but feeling responsible for them nonetheless, and not knowing how to reconcile those two things. It's difficult to imagine anything that would make someone feel more alone than that.

So, those are my thoughts on the Insta stories AL shared earlier this week. As I have said before, I know that I could be completely wrong, and I'm happy for folks to share their perspective, whether you agree or disagree. A heck of a lot to think about, for sure...

[thecrowsart]

👁️🦎🎯

(crops under cut)

[sydmarch]

JOYCE MESSIER: Can you tell me what your relationship with Lieutenant Kitsuragi is?

DRAMA [Challenging - Failure]: You must be completely candid with her, sire. Tell her this exactly: I'm Lieutenant Kitsuragi's right hand arm. Man. I'm Lieutenant Kitsuragi everything. I'm his confidante. His best friend. His silly rabbit.

JOYCE MESSIER: His what?

YOU: His silly rabbit.

JOYCE MESSIER: His silly rabbit?

YOU: Yes.

JOYCE MESSIER: Is that what he calls you?

LOGIC: No.

[sinkat-arts]

That fish was THI--------------IS big. And here’s the proof. 

Just some timeskip Asahi and Noya catching up after Noya’s latest adventures. I love that Asahi became a fashion designer. Almost as much as I love the fact that Noya just decided to go take on the whole damn world. It’s very him. 

Also matching bracelets and (kind of) tattoos because why not. I may or may not clean this up in the future, but in case I don’t... here you go. 

[captain039]

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[fudge24-7]

Wondering if tumblr is really good for me

[shinescape]

pov: you asked junhui if he's still at work since he hasn't texted you after his usual "good morning, sunshine" message and you got kind of worried. and few minutes later, he sent these two photos with the text that says "I'll be home soon. Here's a little treat. ☺️" and then you let out the ugliest screech ever and spend the next few hours staring at his photos...

[book--brackets]

[ridiculouspickles]

[badley]

[aceofstars16]

Me: *writing out a long reply*

The reply thing: it’s too long

Me: ….guess I’m not replying then lol

[mrsjoestarrr]

[rnaeborowski]

ordered some milk chocolate for baking but they changed it to a flavored chocolate instead? and it's a flavour i don't like (it's too sweet) and i needed plain chocolate for baking? just wish they would've just removed the chocolate all together cuz now i'm getting over half a kilogram of chocolate i don't like... so annoyed. it's also 185 gram bars instead of 200 gram bars. it's all so stupid i'm so annoyed.. like at least let me PICK what fucking flavor i want as a replacement