#men can need support and resources and people to look up to and women can still make jokes and comment on their status in society

[jfkisonthemoon]

honestly i am so completely and totally sick of the argument about this supposed "antiman" rhetoric. i simply think its possible to critique men and their place in society without falling into terfdom. pointing out the position men have in our social and political structure does not mean i am engaging in biological essentialism. and 9 times out of 10 when i see this so called anti-man rhetoric discussed its in the context of gender or sexuality discrimination, where by all means we should have an understanding of the way minority groups often dramatize language when conveying their own personal experiences. if i was in a room of gay people and said "ugh heterosexuals" no one would tell me that "actually thats anti-hetero language and-". and obviously i understand that in many circles people do operate on that level but when im seeing dialogue from supposed leftists that is just people complaining that women are too "antimen" and that we somehow feed terfs because of that is frustrating. it doesnt mean you believe in biological essentialism to critique the place that men have in society. when poc say "white people" it does not mean that they believe in a material racial identity or that traits are innately tied to race, but simply that white people hold a spot in society that allows for more power. can we stop critiquing minority people for using casual language to describe the power dynamic they live under.

[genderqueerdykes]

100% on the cis women can be dangerous too. It kinda bothers me when I see "no men" queer events in my area, my partner understands that its for women who generally don't feel safe around men and want a space just for women, but I've said that theres no way to enforce and separate just men without excluding people who would benefit from that space also.

and I'm AFAB and genderfluid, I tend to look more masculine because of hormones and not being white. I use womens spaces, so from just my own experience I've been harassed, assaulted, yelled at, policed, and discriminated against more from women than from men. I understand that's probably just because of me using those spaces, and I do kind of agree with my partner that women should have spaces for women, I just don't feel inherently safe being in spaces that are women only.

god that's so terrible, i'm so sorry, i actually have feelings on this that i haven't touched on before, so thank you for sending this ask

and I'm AFAB and genderfluid, I tend to look more masculine because of hormones and not being white. I use womens spaces, so from just my own experience I've been harassed, assaulted, yelled at, policed, and discriminated against more from women than from men. I understand that's probably just because of me using those spaces, and I do kind of agree with my partner that women should have spaces for women, I just don't feel inherently safe being in spaces that are women only.

the thing about this is that queer spaces are not women's only spaces. you're being alienated from spaces that you should belong to. queer spaces do not men "women only". if someone wants to make groups for queer women that are only for queer women, fine, but if they're general queer spaces, especially like trans and lesbian spaces, other people MUST be allowed to participate. not every single queer identity is centered around women.

i agree with you that women should have spaces for women. and you know what? we do! they're called women's support and resource groups. they exist in many, MANY places. even towns in the middle of nowhere end up having women's support groups. women's hospitals, women's shelters, women's hobby groups... they're out there. i have NO clue why people are trying to turn the queer community into one big """women's safe space""" but it's not right. it's because of rad fems and people are listening to them.

the queer community isn't a "women's safe space". if you think that queer spaces need to be "women's safe spaces," you're actually thinking of women's spaces. you're thinking of women's support groups. if you doubt me, please google this:

these are genuinely real places and events that happen. we don't have to try to turn the entire queer community into one big "women's safe space". trans men need safe places to go. queer men need safe places to go. genderqueer and non binary people need places to go. gays need safe places to go. intersex people need safe places to go. questioning trans women and trans women who are also men need safe places to go.

take care of yourself, anon. this behavior is just ridiculous. it's out of control

[intergalacticfop]

Minoan Heanos

The distinctive open-front dresses worn by Minoan women are probably even more iconic than the multi-layered kilts. Over time, there's dispute whether the garment is one piece or a separate bodice and skirt, but currently the one-piece theory is in ascendance.

The word heanos is derived from the Linear B logogram *146, wehanos. The wes- prefix, which is the squiggle in the middle, indicates a garment. Bernice Jones believes that this logogram represents the garment worn by Minoan men and women.

Marie-Louise B. Nosch, The Textile Logograms in the Linear B Tablets, pp 133-138

More research and construction below the cut:

The theory that the garment is a full-length tunic is further supported from imagery from the time, like these figures from the c. 1400 BCE Hagia Triada Sarcophagus. This detail from the sarcophagus shows three figures in some kind of procession, 2 women and 1 man. The woman at left wears a tunic with some kind of pelt as a skirt, and the other 2 figures wear tunics without anything over them, showing that they are one continuous, ankle-length garment.

Some of the most important resources for interpreting how the heanos was constructed comes from the two women depicted in the House of the Ladies in Akrotiri, wherein the side seams of the tunic are clearly visible running along the side of the body and under the arm.

details of figures from the House of the Ladies, Akrotiri, via Wikimedia Commons

advadbsvasb

Diagrams from Bernice Jones' book Ariadne's Threads, p. 82, via Gorgeous Tangents

The heanos itself is made of 3 pieces of fabric: 1 back and 2 fronts. These diagrams show a concave hem like on the labrys-shaped kilt but I went with a straight hem, which is an equally valid option. The end of the sleeves are level with the edge of the hem at the widest point. This would probably be the width selvage-to-selvage on the fabric, being narrower than fabric widths commonly are today. There are 4 seams: the shoulder seam, the two side seams, and a front seam (optional, but recommended if you would prefer not being arrested.) It may be tempting to fold the fabric across the shoulder, so the only sewing is side seams and a neck hole, but this makes a weaker garment overall. I used this as a shortcut in my fitting muslin and it caused tears and weak points at the three points of the front opening.

my fabric was a lightweight, moderately loose-woven cotton with a supplementary weave pattern in squares and diamonds. Linen or wool would have been more accurate but also? much harder to find from online quilting stores selling fabric for affordable prices. The main fabric is dark orange and the pattern is made out of pink/lilac threads. This weaving technique resulted in a LOT of long floats (unsecured expenses of thread) on the back--you can see how the wrong side of the fabric is much pinker than the right side. These floats could snag easily if I wasn't careful, so while it made a very effective visual for this tunic, I do not think that this fabric type would be viable for everyday wear. I'll leave it to people who actually know about weaving to ponder what more accurate weaving techniques would be.

Construction

The overall pattern is basically a T-shaped tunic, and the most important measurements are shoulder circumference, shoulder width, bust circumference, and the shoulder-waist length. In addition, you need measurements for the bicep, waist, shoulder-navel length, and hip circumference. After working out the fit with a muslin, I ended up with this pattern, 1 of 4 identical quarters.

Your first impulse may be to make the tunic very close-fitting, since the depictions in frescoes are skin-tight, but since the pattern has no added gusset this is a recipe for Cannot Move Arm. So I gave a very generous curve under the arm, which also made the dress look better when my arms were down, avoiding armpit wrinkles. I continued that ease into about an extra 2 inches added on to my waist measurement and plenty of extra space around my hips so that I could do exciting things like Sit Down.

I sewed the shoulder and side seams using the machine, and felled the raw edges on each side of the seam by hand with a whipstitch. I foided back the front edges of the v-neck instead of cutting them, which was a tip I got from the Gorgeous Tangents blog. This strengthens the neckline and keeps it from stretching, and also means that everything can be readjusted if you have size fluctuations or just want to modify the tunic into something more or less modest.

I whipstitched the front edges together by hand--the contrasting selvage didn't matter because it would be covered up by trim. I ended up cutting the tunic a liiiittle shorter than I wanted, so I finished it with some leftover bias binding instead of hemming it to conserve as much length as possible.

Trim

I custom-ordered the woven tape trim from Long Creek Mercantile. Both are made of wool--the "header band" and the hem trim are 1 1/4" wide and the center-front and cuff trim are 3/8" wide. I observed that most images of the Minoan heanos show trim with two colors at most, in a simple geometric or linear pattern, so I consciously restrained myself from ordering anything more elaborate. The clothing on Minoan frescoes is characterized by strongly contrasting colors, so blue trim was the most obvious, and best-looking option. Orange tunics with blue trim appear multiple time in art like the "Dancing Lady" fresco from Knossos:

Dr. Jones suggests that the band across the shoulder would historically have been a header band--a band of threads woven at the beginning of a project in order to properly space the warp bands (see her diagram at the beginning). That may be a reason why the shoulder trim often depicted under the front or sleeve trim, as shown above. Regardless, the trim almost always coordinates.

I sewed on the shoulder trim by hand, the sleeve and hem trim by machine, and the center-front trim with a combination of both.

Tassels

Many frescoes from Akrotiri and Hagia Triada show the ends of the supposed header band turned into tassels. This embellishment is not universal among heanoi, as you can see from the "Dancing Lady" above, but it does add a fun little something!

(yes, my Lounging Pants are very fashionable)

I turned the excess ends of the shoulder "header band" trim into fringes, knotting the yellow ones into a lattice and turning the blue yarns into tassels. The lattice-tassel appears on a fresco from Hagia Triada:

Reproduction of fragmentary fresco from Room 14 at Hagia Triada, Crete

The saffron gatherers from Akrotiri shown below have clearly displayed fringes at the ends of their sleeves. The one on the left has red fringes that appear knotted or ravelled/unravelled in an undulating pattern, and the one on the right has fringes that may be either beaded with papyrus-shaped leaves or cut into short tassels.

Another option is leaving the fringes loose, as seen in the Akrotiri frescoes from Xeste, room 3:

The final garment was super comfy, actually! It's much simpler to create than I thought it would be based on the frescoes, which made it all feel pretty magical when everything came together. I did think it was a little unusual how tailored this garment is, and the potential waste of fabric that comes from a shaped garment, especially compared to how later ancient greek clothing was mainly rectangles. I don't know enough about bronze-age and earlier clothing to have any idea how typical this was, since I'm extremely Not an expert on this subject, but am always open to learning more!

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

The older I get the more I realize these things about dating.

I have been trying to have deep connections and stimulating conversations for some time.

This doesn't seem to work. Especially on dating apps for I guess obvious reasons.

But as an observant, shy, lonely and somewhat intelligent person ( who happens to be gay) I have unfortunately never found love or relationships myself.. I have only seen it through other people

It's pretty apparent that dating is for simple people. I don't mean this in an arrogant way but a majority of individuals seem to not take the question asking part of dating seriously. Idk if this is due to them not being attracted, busy, simple minded or a more narcissistic culture but it is apparent to me that the closer these people are to my location, the less they are willing to learn more about me.

I wonder why that is? 🤔 I've had plenty of engaging online, non dating app conversations with people all over the world.

So part of me thinks that this is due to our new emotionless, soulless culture. Because this problem only exists when I engage with potential matches that can turn into reality.

The need for connection is still there. Fear is holding us back.

Why are people so afraid of reality? What are they running from? Themselves? Other people? Is the world in such a bad place right now that we feel like if we make a connection we know it will probably end up broken like the society we live in? 💔

The more I observe dating and other people's love lives the more it is apparent to me that deep, intellectual, stimulating conversations are not a part of the game AT ALL.

( take it as a grain of salt but from my observations dating goes like this)

One, attraction is the 1# thing! Because if you don't have it there is no fuel to get anything going. The car won't even get out of the lot. Especially off apps.

Secondly, the man usually takes action by getting the girl on the date as fast as possible..he has to woo her by showing her a fun, spontaneous, adventurous, humorous, and flirtatious time.

It is usually filled with banter, funny nostalgic stories, flirting and none of that would even matter if the two ( especially the man who usually carries the convo) was not attracted.

You can seriously make anything work with mutual sexual attraction. I've seen two plain and boring people talk for hours about nothing but because they had those saucer eyes for eachother it just worked! They definitely don't talk about work or deep concepts.

So the man drains his ( or if hes in his 20s) his daddy's resources on the girl to have a "fun" time..meanwhile his sexual motivation is keeping it going because she obviously has many other options.

The girl then looks pretty and vets if he is worthy for a LTR.

If so, she gets brought into this new, advantageous, silly, successful man's life and uses him as a tool to get away from her boring and domesticated life. She uses him for fun, community, hobbies and eventually family.

She uses his resources as a way to post on tiktok, fb and ig to show off to all of her friends " look at the amazing, good looking and successful guy I am able to get" mostly to show status as a woman and to make her friends jealous..because they were mean to her in the past.

None of her *connection* to her man has pretty much anything to do with conversation. ( sounds harsh I know but hear me out)

If you doubt this why do men and women immediately separate at Christmas parties and work events?

Have you ever observed a straight guy talking to a straight girl before? At any age?

It's usually a girl talking with her friends about things that doesn't interest him and his eyes roll over astrology and the girl eye rolling about video games or sports banter. Exc...

It's pretty obvious how for 95% of the population..male and female worlds have NOTHING to do with eachother. And want NOTHING to do with eachother except for what each gender lacks...

Emotional support from the woman and financial stability from the man. What binds them is sex and what keeps them together is family.

This is why my nerdy lesbian ass has such a hard time with dating. Lol

In the typical female way I am relying too much on talking, not much action. And in a very unfair lesbian way I can't seem to find my opposite.

I am trying to find an intellectual match when I should just be finding my feminine opposite. I'm treating dating like lunch dates with friends, Like men discussing politics on the Titanic while smoking cigars.

Unless I want to talk to a mirror long conversation isn't the way to go.

Because it never was to begin with. This is the code I finally cracked. Lol 😆

I'll leave the cerebral banter and philosophical insights to the lonely, individualistic writer side of me..the side of many great minds in history...But even a great writer will drop his work like a hot potato as soon as he finds a woman he is undeniably in love with. 🥰

My point is to find my opposite not my reflection. And my opposite might surprise me with what they can give or know...even if it's not deep or extremely interesting to me. This goes for any gender. Love doesn't work that way.

[pelagae]

Anti-Theism Rant

I hope humanity does progress past religion someday. It's a future I look forward to, and it is optimistic.

Right now, religion is holding humanity back, inspires all kinds of crimes, and has been used to support almost every form of oppression and bigotry there is. I believe sexism, racism, homophobia, and other forms of bigotry would definitely exist without religion. However, it probably would not have gotten this bad, and starting from where we are society-wise, it's largely religious groups that keep a lot of those going. To move forward, humanity has to get out of the religious garbage we've been swimming in for the past several thousand years.

"The creator is a male figure." "My god made males first / in his image and women secondarily." "My god said women have to dress and behave a certain way, which is different and more oppressive than what it says for men." "My god said women must be subservient to men, especially their husbands." "My god said women are too weak and stupid to be trusted." "My god said becoming a mother is the highest achievement a woman can hope for." "My god said humans must have many offspring, and it's women's duty to comply with this." "My god said married couples must not get divorced." "My god said the opposite sex is dirty and must not be touched outside specific circumstances." "My god said women are responsible for our sins and must suffer for it." "My god said women who have children out of wedlock and those children are dirty and should be punished." "My god said life begins at conception, that life matters more than its mother's life, and abortion is bad." "My god said a man can rape his wife." "My god has raped."

"My god said my people are special and his favorite." "My god said my people are better than your people." "Your people are a different color because my god dislikes you / you reject him." "My god said my people are entitled to the land on which your people live." "My god said it's ok to enslave your people."

"My god said same-sex sexual activities and relationships are bad." "My god said sex should be for reproduction only." "My god said the devil causes homosexual urges."

"My god said having pride and standing up for yourself against oppressors like him and my people are sins." "My god said I must worship him in this specific way or else he will be angry." "My god said I must believe and accept what everyone says he says or I will be punished."

We need no further evidence of religions' awfulness than the things written in their books and the agendas of their followers, which they claim their religions support. All these may sound like a certain religion or group of religions to you, but I dare you to show me a religion that includes nothing like anything in the above. They all have at least some of it. They're all shit.

And this isn't even touching on the anti-intellectualism of unscientific claims in religious texts and teachings, how religion supports ideas like creationism that contradict evidence. Religion wants you to be comfortable believing things that aren't true. It's let humanity become gullible and easy to manipulate. It preys on impoverished and otherwise disenfranchised people by offering false hope in exchange for obedience. Religion is man-made, just like all gods. The motivation of religion is for you to do what the people who made up that religion want you to do instead of thinking for yourself.

Yes, even without religion, males would always exploit women's reproductive power and try to control us for it. In-group and out-group thinking is an innate thought process, as is conquest of land and resources, and we'd likely still have racism. Some people may even be homophobic, though for reasons more relating to sexism than religious decree. But my point is that religion has been used as a tool to support these bad things and otherwise control people, and a world without that tool would be better off.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi! (Not calling you "dad" because I have trauma from an older guy forcing me to call him "Daddy".) I have a bit of a situation...How do I navigate this? For the last several years, I have been "best friends" with someone who is pretty much a HUGE part of the trans/LGBT community and fight for rights in our area. She herself is a trans woman. It's in quotes because the longer I know her, the more red flags and toxic traits seem to bubble up and that is someone you normally wouldn't see as a best friend. BUT I cannot end the friendship or call her out on it as she could easily have me disallowed from LGBT events throughout our entire area. It started pretty early on; she basically refused to see me as a man (I am closeted trans masc/male) in public because "I have made no effort to come out or LOOK like a man!". I am closeted because our area/my family tend to be very unsafe for trans folks and I cannot afford to move out of my parents' house right now. That progressed to her calling me "trans-trender" because I don't feel dysphoria, intend on being super femme even after I am able to transition, and don't want bottom surgery. (Top surgery and a hysto would be perfect for me.) From there, she's constantly going on about how trans men/masc folks are gross because we bleed every month and how trans femme/women who don't get bottom surgery are undeserving of support and are "gross and undesirable". (For what it's worth, I met her when she was still living as a man and always supported and loved her fully. She forgets she didn't just magically transition over-night...) But lately, it's reached a point that I don't think she could redeem herself in my heart anymore. (I am so used to being abused that her previously mentioned behaviors don't hurt as much as they should.) I met a really amazing person (also trans masc) and we have become inseparable and, during one of our more intimate chats, they came out to me as intersex which lead to a longer, more in-depth conversation about their body/identity which ended with me giving them links to things for support that I knew of but of course, I am not intersex so there's not much I could offer. So, I went to my so-called "friend" and asked her for some resources in the bigger cities since my other friend recently relocated for work. I have regretted that choice since... She launched into a whole thing about how "intersex people are being greedy by also being trans" and then DEFENDED the surgeries done on many intersex babies "because it doesn't happen THAT much and besides, the parents have to consent to it so it's not like it's a dirty little secret!" She's been stuck on that for a couple days which concerns me deeply because usually she "Drops it" after a couple hours. I am sorry for the ramble but this is running through my brain like a train and I just needed to put my thoughts out there. Posting anonymously just in case she sees this.

Hey kiddo, please don't apologise it's okay. I'm always here to listen and give support where I can. She sounds like a really hard friend to be around and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with that. She completely ignored and invalidated yours and your friend's gender identity, that isn't fair even if she is trans herself. I'm so sorry kiddo. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[dukeofankh]

There is this bizarre little premise that i keep seeing people accept in the wake of the US election: that a politician can either appeal to men's economic anxieties or defend women's reproductive healthcare rights. This concept says we can appeal to men's anger about not being able to afford housing and about not being able to afford to have a family, but to do so is to fundamentally betray queer people. I can't blame people for that, in a lot of ways that problem is one being pushed by the Democratic Party as a core part of their platform. Since the right are misogynistic, if they make their whole platform about how they are the party that protects women and queer people, it means that they don't actually have to radically alter the economic circumstances their donors benefit from.

While under the Democrats things did meaningfully improve, they are not at their core actually capable in their current form of truly addressing a lot of economic issues. They're just too entwined with business interests. They can tweak, they can offer incentives and disincentives,but at its core, the Democratic party is the party of "this is great, the way things are is awesome, vote for us or the Republicans will make it worse."

And people will no doubt point out the serious work that they did while in office--the work out of the FTC was particularly satisfying--but they cannot at their core actually allow themselves to let that become part of their identity. They can't run on that. They can't rile people up about that. They can't go even further, they can't get radical about that. They need the corporate money too much. When presented with the chance to run Bernie Sanders, they physically gagged. They refuse to move further left.

But the Republicans have moved--in many cases against their will--further to the right. They promise to change things. They make it worse, lets get that clear. Any working-class man who votes for the Republican party because he thinks it will materially benefit him does so because he is fantastically ignorant about the actual forces that affect his life. But if you are a man, they are actively willing to break things, and they are claiming that it is because they want to help you.

I can hear people say (correctly) over and over again that leftist principles are the ones that actually help men, be it feminism, socialism, you name it. But that's a non sequitur, because the Democratic party is not leftist. Its major selling point for the past decade or so has been "if you vote for us, things will be normal," when normal for most men looks like being an exploited cog in a machine that no longer even feels the need to compensate them past pure subsistence. Those men are angry. That anger is a resource. There is nothing antifeminist about using it.

There is a natural counterargument here that these men don't actually want to be financially stable. They want to be financially superior to women. They want control over women. And hey, the Christofascist elements of the right cannot be understated. I am not telling you that there are not huge chunks of the Trump electorate that are deeply misogynistic. They clearly are. But that doesn't make every issue they push as part of their platform evil by association. You don't have to surrender this issue to them and let them falsely claim to champion it. The support doesn't disappear if you aren't insulting women while you're fighting income inequality and making housing more affordable.

I've seen people discuss the economic hardships of Americans on here daily. How everything keeps getting worse. How the country was building towards technofeudalism just as much as it was careening towards fascism. How nobody can afford rent or medical bills or student loans, how workers rights and status as anything more than disposable contractors is being eroded.

All of that affects men. Any sane man is going to feel powerless and furious in the face of that. Channel it. Use it. Don't view it as a threat. It's a resource.

[krisandthebluesurgeons]

Do you endorse guilt tripping/shamming people into supporting moral causes?

I'm sorry, I've just seen far too many Palestine and Gaza supporters use guilt tripping to gain more traction.

It gives me the feeling people can't understand that people can be good people and not care for supporting what they want.

Like I'm all for not killing people but people make me and others out for trash for not wanting to do anything and continue on with our lives despite the knowledge.

I don't know i just want to ask you about this.

There is... so much wrong with this ask. I wanted to just block this account and move on, but I can't just... Not do anything about this. Maybe I can't convince you to care about what's going on, but I can try, and I want to try. I try to see the best in people. I'm hoping, sincerely hoping, that you're just... ignorant of the situation, and not just plain heartless.

"people can be good people and not care for supporting what they want"

What they want??? What they WANT??

Palestinians are being murdered, they're starving, being tortured in Israeli concentration camps, and you're speaking as if this is a matter of opinion. Human rights are not an opinion.

Good people are those who care about the lives of others, who know that the oppressed should not be hurt by the hands of their oppressors. Don't even say anything about it starting on October 7th- this has been going on for 75 years. It is normal to care. Even most "bad" people can understand that what's going on in Palestine is an injustice.

"not wanting to do anything and continue on with our lives despite the knowledge"

If you can stomach the genocide of millions in Palestine, children, women, men, and you can just move on without doing anything- You need to do some serious self reflection because this isn't okay. I'm not saying this as a lighthearted jokey thing. This is just Not okay.

You're saying you can't even share resources to help these people? If you can't donate, that's alright, there are so many economical problems going on in this day and age, but you can't even be bothered to share some posts? Information? To share some gofundme's?

You do not have to watch videos of people getting blown up and killed. You don't have to subject yourself to that. But you need to be knowledgeable about these things, you need to know that these things are happening, you should be horrified because these things are not normal. Nothing is normal about millions of people losing their futures.

Just as you deserve to dream of a future, these people deserve the same.

"I don't know i just want to ask you about this."

Another thing that's bothering me. Why ask me about this? Are you just asking any Palestine supporter this question???

If you want information on what's going on in Palestine, if you want reasons to care about this, look at Bisan, Motaz Azaiza, Eid Yara, Plestia Alaqad. These are brave people from Palestine who are suffering, showing the war from their eyes. They're experiencing it.

I want to make it clear, just because I show respect to my followers, does not mean you can confide to me about anything. I am trying to be kind, by pushing you in the right direction. I want you to understand that this mindset you're following is apathetic, it is harmful to others yes and also to yourself. I'm being harsh because I want you to realize that this whole situation, this is wrong. I have hope that you'll understand! That's why I didn't just block you straight up.

I don't hold any hope or respect for zionists, but you just seem ignorant at best. That's why I want to try and push you on the right direction, and if I can't, if I failed to, that's no fault of mine. I did what I could, and I hope you can do better. I sincerely hope so! I know you can improve yourself, you just have to try! Even if you don't think so. I believe you can.

It is dangerous to be uncaring. It is dangerous to not be radicalized.

[romance-of-three-memes]

Anyway I'm going to talk about the world-building and 'lore' for that story I mentioned about some of the people from the Three Kingdoms era who were historically men being women instead. I don't want it to be a reflection of modern values, women clearly have more autonomy since they can join the military but it wasn't because of an attempt at realizing gender equality, a lot of that was because everything was so chaotic and you had to drum up support on such short notice that military leaders started going 'fuck it, I need to fill out my ranks, I'll settle for women if I have to', and they're almost always a minority in the group.

It certainly is a way to potentially avoid scenarios you'd rather not deal with, like a shitty abusive home life... If you can avoid being tracked down, anyway, because if a guy comes along and says 'hey give me back my wife/daughter' it's just easier for the leader to do what he wants and lose one soldier, the only time there's really any push-back is if the woman has distinguished herself enough for this to be seen as a detriment, but even then it's a 'you're not like other girls' scenario, or to make it sound more like something someone in this setting would actually say, 'you're a woman but you have the strength of a man'.

And there's plenty of social ostracism. It's begrudgingly accepted, the wider sentiment is 'look at the times we're living in, even women must take up arms'. A lot of people think these women are there because they were so undesirable as wives/daughters-in-law that no one wanted them, so their parents either kicked them out or sent them off to the military so they wouldn't have to provide for their needs as much, and they could potentially bring their families back some extra resources if they survived, or their husbands want to get rid of them without an official divorce and has another wife or concubine he likes more. That describes some of them, but certainly not all of them.

They tend to come from poorer backgrounds since families with more security are less willing to risk the more reliable bargaining power their daughters bring with arranged marriages, with the exception being women who get their position through hereditary means, like Sun Ce.

And Sun Ce wasn't really meant to be an heir, Sun Jian just had no sons and started bringing her along around age 13, which was fairly common for boys expected to inherit military positions, and went 'oh you know she's helpful, but once I have a son I can have her marry a good guy and she can help me train her brothers and sons when she eventually has them, she'll never have to step on the battlefield again' (Spoiler alert, he never had sons or knew his grandchildren). People occasionally think 'well Lady Wu and Sun Jian only had three children and they were all girls, *clearly* they didn't try that hard, what did they expect?' but you see, Lady Wu also had three miscarriages. So that's a bit of a sore spot. Maybe don't bring it up.

But here and historically it was actually Sun Ce's cousin Sun Ben that immediately took over when Sun Jian died, but a few years down the line he seems to have voluntarily stepped down. Who knows why, he could've easily held onto it since his father was Sun Jian's older brother and he was older than Sun Ce, but I envision him as being deeply uninterested in leadership positions and happy to be rid of it. Maybe Sun Ce kind of talked him into it because she knew it would be easier to convince him to step down and let her take over down the line and promised him it wouldn't be for long, just until she hit age 20 aka the age of official adulthood. There was trouble over a woman taking leadership of the clan, but everyone involved quieted down considerably after she proved herself to be more than effective. It's a bit harder to complain once she's carved out a good bit of territory for them and raised their status.

[delta-lethonomia]

Tried to narrow it to a few and was not successful: 8, 10, 13, 16, 17

8. see last post!

9. worst part of fanon

Hmm. This is actually pretty difficult, I feel like I'm only exposed to such a curated selection of fanon these days I completely miss all the wild takes. I will say that I don't think Astarion would necessarily do that much embroidery/sewing after the events of the game. I got the impression that a lot of it was because he needed to look attractive and put together, lacked the resources to acquire new things, and embroidering dumb things on his underwear was the only amount of bodily autonomy he could flex. He can't exactly dye his hair, cut it, or steal any jewelry without it getting stolen by the other spawn: he literally only has the clothes on his back, and they need to be kept in good condition if he wants any degree of success enticing higher class/presumably less violent and more attractive people back to Cazador.

If anything, I think post-bg3 he'd splurge and get himself nice things, holding onto fraying clothing for far too long but not repairing it. He can buy things now - but the urge to hoard it would still exist, while patching it might strike too close to old habits. He'd pick up the thread and think of something, but wouldn't be able to bring himself to embroider anything for himself. A partner though, yes, but not himself.

There's no need for a stamp across his ass if no one's going to see it anymore.

13. worst blorbofication

the bestest babygirl Astarion. Seriously. What the fuck. We've got Snape levels of delusion about this bitch. He's been "draco in leather pants'd" enough that it's flipped around entirely, because Astarion does actually wear leather pants, so instead he's heteronormative fantasy #142 where he's loving husband material, ready to have adorable dhampir babies and sweetly make love under the blankets of their 3-bedroom house with white picket fence while assuring tav/durge that's 100% ready to have missionary sex again with deep eye contact where maybe one of them gets to come, because it's fine, we don't need sex for emotional intimacy. ????

Astarion absolutely can be kind in a bitchy, understated way, but every time I see a thing where he's too nice I want to write a scene where he does something horrible or picks a fight. Let👏 him 👏 murder 👏

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok already answered BUT HAVE ANOTHER! (Actually have 2!) I don't like "Sweet, supportive Astarion" characterizations. I think no matter the trauma, his is always going to be worse, and even if he doesn't say it he's definitely thinking it. I don't think he'd be actively sweet, more… deliberately not being an asshole, at best. Crying about your mum dying? He'll let you cry on his shoulder, give a sentence of comfort, then change the conversation. Very stiff upper lip - "Must be talk about this?"

Wait ok I just thought of the actual controversial take. I don't get the obsession with putting Astarion in dresses. He's beautiful, yes, but there are a lot of handsome men in fiction, but Astarion especially get put into dresses a lot. Is it because of the wavemother robes??? Did that unlock something in people??? Is it because he comes across as gay sometimes, so therefor let's put him in women's clothing, because crossdressing stereotypes? Putting any man in a dress is subversive, I get that, I just don't get what about Astarion makes people so feral for it. Skimpy clothing, yes, but the heels and dresses. why.

It makes me think of nail polish on men these days. I get the impression it's a certain flavor of liberal man who wears nail polish as a subversive act, trying to show that feminine things aren't lesser, that they're not ashamed of wearing them, but Astarion's absolutely a rather conservative character politically. Like… babygirl's voting Tory/Republican, if he's voting at all. Sorry.

Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this lol. But for real - he's a very masculine-coded character. He cries once, and that's an overwhelming cathartic release after centuries of pain. He's assertive in sex scenes. Even though he sounds like he's close to tears sometimes, he pushes past emotional things very quickly, is driven by a need for freedom, to provide for the player and be powerful enough for the both of them, to keep them safe, has a drive for power that's frightening, and will throw down if it comes down to it. He threatens you if you tell him no about sharing the tadpoles, even after sleeping together. His shoulders are much broader than you think. He's very, very masculine, both in body and values, he just also happens to be a flirt and has had trauma and submission beaten into him. In elf terms, he's the chaddest chad to ever chad.

He would also fold one leg over the other at the knee while sitting on a stool that gives stereotypical "gay" vibes, but I can also see him manspreading all over the place. But I just don't see fanart of Astarion manspreading with a prominent bulge the same way I see dress fanart everywhere. I feel like I just don't get the appeal enough to unpick this!

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Crushing Ascended Astarion into the dirt. I'm so, so glad Larian added that option to take control of him after becoming the Absolute - he doesn't see it coming at all, and it's so good. I just want to see AA as far away from power as possible, struggling with himself, and maybe regretting the Ascension and all that he lost. I don't think AA is completely hopeless - he's still Astarion, just dumber, more arrogant, more scared and out of touch with himself, with all those emotional walls snapped back into place all the harder - but that just makes me want to crack him like an egg.

Oh, or fics/art where Tav/Durge left him instead of becoming his spawn. He lets them leave, but I don't think he ever gets over it, and it's his last little shred of goodness/arrogance/self-pity that prevents him from taking them back forcefully. Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth by howlsmovinglibrary is obviously the best example of this and can't be topped, but I want more cakes!!! Not of "darkly seductive vampire lord Astarion seducing an old flame back to his side" cake, but of "disaster AA embarrasses himself by becoming more pathetic over an obsession he just can't shake." The higher they rise, the harder they fall.

He just wants to be loved unquestionably despite thinking of himself as a proven monster and therefore unlovable

[fictionadventurer]

Would you be able to tell me more about how pro-life positions are beneficial to women?

I have been becoming more pro-life over the past year because I see edges of this argument online, but I don't know enough to try to clearly explain it to myself, much less to other people. One point someone brought up that helped me see this differently was that abortions are a band-aid solution to sexual abuse and help make it easier to hide sexual violence. And I have also seen the point people make that companies would rather provide abortion care than maternity leave because it keeps people working.

I'm curious if you have other thoughts that can help me affirm this point both to myself and to others? I think there's a lot of vitriol around how people speak about women in abortion discussions, and it can make it hard for people who are on the fence to engage. And having more examples of how pro-life advocates care for women would make it easier to enter into the conversation, especially with people who take a feminist approach to the topic.

(I also want to affirm that I'm asking this in good faith, as someone who wants to learn sincerely, and I hope you might respond sincerely too. I'm taking it for granted that a fetus is also a human, so I'm more interested in how to bring up this other part of the discussion with people. If this is a topic you know less about, that's all right too.)

I tend to approach abortion debates by keeping a laser-focus on the fact that the fetus is a human and a person, because we need to remind people that no problem that the mother faces justifies killing an innocent human being. That said, the pro-life position is infinitely better for women in a bunch of different ways. I'm not going to provide sources, because there are lots of better blogs devoted to that kind of thing (@prolifeproliberty is one that's coming to mind), but I can provide a few talking points.

The biggest benefit a pro-life position provides to a woman is that she doesn't have to live with the fact that she killed her own child. People understand on an instinctive level that a woman is pregnant with a baby; they can try to gloss over it with rhetoric, but the truth remains that the woman pregnant with a human being with its own separate life to live, and abortion violently ends that life. Abortion regret is a very real thing; there's a vast increase in depression and suicide in post-abortive women, and these women often can't get help for such regret, because people deny that it exists, or because "it was her choice".

A pro-life position is also infinitely more empowering to women. Abortion supporters look at a pregnant woman and tell her, "You can't do this. You can't raise a child. You can't have a career. You can't get out of poverty. This will destroy your life." The pro-life position tells a woman that she can do this. She's strong enough. She's smart enough. Both she and her child can have fulfilling lives, because we can help her. The pro-life community provides tons of resources to help women get the supplies and medical care and support that they need to either raise the child or to find adoptive parents to help raise it. Abortion only gets rid of the child--it doesn't solve any of the other problems that made it so difficult for the woman to have a child.

Abortion is also the single greatest tool to allow men to sexually abuse women. The pro-abortion idea that men are against abortion because they want to oppress women is laughable. Men get no benefit from a pro-life position. Abortion allows men to sleep around as much as they like, and if they get a woman pregnant, they don't have to pay child support--they just pay for her abortion and go on their merry way. No concern for her mental or physical or emotional health--just convenience for him. Abortion turns both woman and child into objects for a man's pleasure, to be disposed of when they're not fun anymore.

I could go on for ages, but to keep this simple, I'll just list a few other points:

Abortion greatly increases a woman's risk of breast cancer, and can cause fertility problems later in life.

The abortion pill is extremely dangerous, especially used unsupervised, because it can cause extreme bleeding and other complications.

Abortion allows sexual abusers to hide the evidence of their sexual abuse and keep women trapped longer. This includes human-trafficking and prostitution situations.

Women are often pressured into abortion because of lack of support from their family or community. People might be willing to help her pay for the abortion, but if the woman chooses to have the child, people are unwilling to provide long-term support--it was "her choice", so she has to bear all the responsibility. A decision for abortion made under that kind of pressure isn't really concerned about "a woman's choice."

As you said, employers are far more willing to pay for abortion than they are to provide much more expensive maternity leave, health insurance, etc. It can serve as another tool for employers to oppress workers.

Abortion supporters are often so focused on increasing access to abortion that they put women at risk. They have shot down and repealed bills that require abortion clinics to be licensed and inspected and to meet certain minimum medical standards. They've allowed teenagers to get abortions without parental notification, even though they're legally not competent to make other medical decisions, and the abortion procedure could put the teen's health at risk (plus this can cause teens to be trapped even longer in trafficking situations). They shoot down measures that would require women to be given more information about the abortion procedure and other options--even though informed consent is a cornerstone of medical ethics. If abortion supporters were truly concerned about women, they would be willing to put some of these common-sense protective measures in place.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

TW:transphobia, murder, transmisogyny, death, suicide mention

this is mostly a rant that i just need to get off my chest

Trans women are censored, harassed and ignored, stalked, and another trans child has been murdered. its a bad time to be trans in many countries rn

If you think that those things dont go hand in hand then you are wrong. Ignoring a trans women when she reports harassment and stalking is how trans women get killed. when a trans man gets excluded from lgbt spaces bc he is transitioned and people think that men=bad, it leaves him without support if he is suicidal or being harassed. When a child is seen as something other than human because they are non binary, officials don't call an ambulance when they are injured and thats how kids die. What happened to Nex was murder.

The ceo isnt committing murder, but he is contributing to the culture that gets people killed and i hope he feels bad about it, especially since tumblr is the one place where a lot of trans people feel safe being themselves.

@photomatt when the statistics have the faces of your friends it is very hard to take you seriously when you have been so glib about the experiences of the trans women on this site. Trans women are some of the most brutalized and murdered people in the world so sorry if I find the car hammer explosion joke funny. Against @predstrogen you look pathetic. I can guarantee she has gotten real death threats. How do i know? bc I have too, as most of the trans people online have.

Enough of that. FELLOW TRANS!! FELLOW QUEERS!!!

LINK TO TRANS RESOURCES INCLUDING SUICIDE HOTLINES:

Don't give up, and dont stop being angry. We deserve to exist and we deserve to be treated like human beings!

[sadkachow]

sometimes i wish i wasn’t transmasc.

i love being me, but it just gets so exhausting. 

i’m not in an environment where i’m able to be entirely open about it, and it makes every moment when i’m with anyone i’m not out to exhausting. i feel like i’m putting on a show, pretending to be someone i’m not.

and then (and this is the main point of this post) sometimes it feels like the queer community hates people like me. not always, but certainly enough. enough to make me feel isolated, even in online spaces where i can be myself, because no one wants me to be me. the amount of shit i see by other queer people (even other trans men!) about how my manness somehow means i don’t experience oppression (which assumes every trans masc or man can or wants to pass—and even then, they must also be quiet about their transness), that trans mascs and men aren’t allowed to have the language to speak about their oppression, that we’re oppressing other trans people (by merit of being men, i guess???), that we’re evil disgusting monsters. 

the fear-mongering around t, the idea that it makes you bad and dangerous, the idea that certain effects of t are inherently disgusting and bad.

the way that we’re either seen as “evil vicious wicked men” or “poor dumb stupid girls- i mean boys- i mean girls”.

we’re hated because we’re failed women. 

we’re hated because we’re men.

no trans man or masc has ever experienced oppression based on their identity—and don’t you dare go look up the reported rates of violence, harassment, and s/a that we receive, don’t you dare look at how high they are! 

trans men aren’t allowed to see our transness and our manhood as connected in any way, they must be separated (“we have to protect queerness from disgusting masculinity”—which is also harmful to anyone who is comfortable or even enjoys experiencing and embracing their masculinity). 

gay trans men like me are introducing on the gay community.

straight trans men are either preying on innocent women, or they’re “better” than cis men, because they(“‘re not really men”) know what women want and are like and can thus serve women better!

trans men who still identify with lesbianism for whatever reason are either treated as women or treated (once again) as evil invaders out to harm women.

not to mention the trans mascs and men who identify with any other label than those three—no matter what, our identities and labels get twisted around to be used against us, to the point where sometimes it feels like maybe it’d be better if we didn’t identify as anything at all (except maybe that’d get turned against us too).

we get attacked for trying to have more neutral language (i.e. “pregant people” instead of “pregnant women”, “menstrual hygiene” instead of “feminine hygiene”, etc). we get attacked for having our own language (the way every single term used to describe transmasc oppression has been dissected and degraded until it’s become clear that maybe it’s not the word itself but simply the fact that we are using it).

we get told how much men are awful and horrible either as if we arent “really” men (“kill all men. but not you, you’re one of the ‘good ones’ (aka: i don’t see you as a man)”), or because we’re just as bad and need to be separated and killed and harassed and hated (“kill all men, including trans men. you can’t be mad, you’re asking for it by (existing as yourself) being a man!” “trans men really are the men of the lgbtqia+ community” (this is also a form of malgendering—gendering someone correctly for the sake of harming or attacking them (aka with malicious intent))).

i see so much help and resources for other queer people, but hardly any for trans mascs/men. i’ve seen support that parades itself as “for trans people”, and then it turns out it’s for all trans people except trans men. (this isn’t an exaggeration, by the way. i’ve seen multiple respurces that say that they’re for the support of all trans people, and then if you actually read into it, they’re for the support of trans women and nonbinary people only—which is completely fine that those support groups exist! but then don’t label it as “for all trans people” if it’s not for all trans people. that’s exclusionary, and can also present nonbinary identities as “women-lite”—and also often leaves no space for trans women and nonbinary people who present in a more masculine way or who also identify with manhood/as men to some degree, or for nonbinary people who dont identify with womanhood/as women at all.)

violence against trans men is so often erased because we’re misgendered even in death. we’re forcefully detransitioned. we’re s/a-ed and abused at extremely high rates.

we’re pitiful misled girls or failed women or wicked evil men or pick me’s or vile abusers. 

we’re evil and we cannot be hurt or oppressed because we’re men, as if that is not a point of view that is based on bioessentialism/gender essentialism, racism, intersexism, and extremely harmful (especially to marginalised men in general—trans or not). 

no identity is uniquely capable or incapable of harm—anyone can harm anyone, regardless of who they are.

and yet, and yet, and yet, it’s alright because we asked for it by simply being us.

sometimes it just feels so isolating to be a trans boy, because everywhere i look, there’s people hating me for existing.

im just so tired of it.

(clarification: i know not all of the queer community holds this stance. i’ve seen and/or met wonderful queer people of all identities who have been understanding and accepting. i’m also not trying to say that the things mentioned in this are only driven forward by the community—plenty of people who aren’t in it do this stuff as well. what i mean is just that it feels as if this sort of talk—particularly radfem rhetoric—has been incredibly pervasive lately, at least from what i’ve experienced. i feel like a lot of people forget it’s not just the “trans exclusionary” part of TERFs that is bad, but the radical feminism as well. radical feminism isn’t good. it’s incredibly bioessentialist, racist, intersexist, and harmful in so many other ways by its nature. but it still stands so clearly in so many places. this is also by no means a comphrensive list on the treatment of trans mascs/men. i’m not infallible. there’s certainly other things that have happened that i’ve either forgotten or am not aware of—and if anyone wants to add on, feel free!)

[idontexistforcontext]

None of us are free until all of us are free

So I’ve recently remembered that I have a linktree which I haven’t actually used since like 2020/2021, so perfect place to share some of my saved links to support Palestine right? I suppose you can imagine my surprise when I already find a “FREE PALESTINE” header, one I don’t remember adding as a teen in the throes of lockdown and high school, right at the bottom.

I won’t try and pretend like I do remember adding any such thing, or sharing calls for donations for drinking water for Gaza, or for a hospital in East Jerusalem. I won’t act as if I had done the right thing and educated myself, because if I had back then, maybe I might’ve gotten involved in the criticism of Zionism and Israel whole lot sooner into the influx of atrocities and war crimes they’ve committed in “retaliation”. And maybe I would’ve understood just how much control the Israeli have had over the Palestinians sooner, for why would they have needed funds for suitable drinking water in early 2021? And maybe I would’ve known why I was sharing a call for aid for Al Makassed Hospital, which was raided by IOF soldiers dressed as women who sound bombed the area, killing 150 and injuring 600 Palestinians mid-2021. And maybe I would’ve known of Al Quds Open University, of which the hospital was associated with, and was bombed in November last year.

And sure, I could go on, but I won’t. Because the babies burned and decapitated and dismembered in the bombings in UNICEF’s camps in Rafah, the “designated safe zone”, and in their homeland wouldn’t have been alive then, let alone grow to learn from their elders who would have lived through it. Little Hind Rajab, who would’ve been alive then but too young to truly recall, won’t care, because she was murdered alone with her already dead relatives and two brave men who were meant to be allowed to save her. The innocent bodies marred by this so called “war”, the bleak eyes cursed by death, the broken bodies and immovable spirits of displaced persons seeking safety from the greed of the world - they won’t be thinking of matters of the past.

I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore. My heart aches for the Palestinians, as it does for the Congolese and the Sudanese and the Uyghurs and all victims of the manifestations of the greed of humanity. All I can wish for is for humanity to open their eyes, their hearts, to properly watch our world burn and feel the same aches as I do, as so little yet so many do. To take those aches and build the world anew, not from rubble, but from the foundations of our collective morals and drive against injustice and for a sustainable future.

And maybe I’ve written too much and no one will truly read this all, especially since I haven’t entirely censored myself here. But I refuse to put the effort in to make a tldr because I want people to read this all, I want to see just how far my voice can and will go.

The Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet is at the top of my linktree, right under the ‘FREE PALESTINE’ header that started these thoughts. If you’d like to look at the links I mentioned, I’ve kept them as the bottom three, I overall encourage you to research into them if you have the mental capacity to, or to at least keep up to date with the world today. I most likely won’t be updating that linktree again, so please seek other accounts and people who have more resources and material to keep educated.

As always, none of us are free until all of us are free. Choose the right side of history, make a stand against injustice.