romance-of-three-memes

[romance-of-three-memes]

Whenever I think of Jiang Wei and the Wei officers he dealt with on these campaigns I can't help but wonder what they and the guys who made up their armies thought of him. Imagine. There's this guy that just won't quit even though he's very clearly at a huge disadvantage, he keeps digging his grave deeper and deeper every time he comes knocking on your door, and it's generally not even your side instigating him, he's just Like That. You have to do this whole song and dance over and over and over for the same result each time, except now more people are dead and more of your resources are drained and you've spent more of the finite amount of time you've been allotted in this life dealing with this guy when you could've been doing something else that probably sucked less. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them got *really* tired of him *really* fast.

Jiang Wei led a whopping amount of ELEVEN expeditions against Wei after Zhuge Liang's death. A lot of these expeditions were deafeated and pushed back by Wei military officer Guo Huai, who once served under Sima Yi during his war against Zhuge Liang.

Jiang Wei's troops sustained heavy casualties and suffered deafeat at Shanggui County while fighting against Wei military general Deng Ai during the ninth northern expedition made many people in Shu dislike him for his warmongering against Wei and draining his country's resources just to for his own personal goals of uniting the land under Han and not the for the actual good of Shu, which suffered from the numerous campaigns.

He had quite the confusing relationship with Zhong Hui, a Wei military general who admires Jiang Wei but also fought against him during his northern expeditions. Zhong Hui treated him well after he surrendered to Wei (under Sima Zhao), travelling in the same carriage and eating at the same table.

Jiang Wei sensed that Zhong Hui had the intention of rebelling against Wei and sought to exploit this opportunity to stage an uprising and restore Shu. He told Zhong Hui:

"I heard that you have been very detailed and comprehensive in your planning since you got involved in Huainan. You have never miscalculated before. It was because of your help that Sima Zhao became the Duke of Jin and gained control over the Wei government. Now that you have vanquished Shu, your fame spreads throughout the Empire and the people sing praises of you. Wouldn't Sima Zhao feel worried that your glory will outshine his? Are you willing to live in seclusion for the rest of your life to avoid bringing disaster upon yourself? In the past, Han Xin didn't betray the Han dynasty but the emperor still doubted his loyalty. Wen Zhong didn't heed Fan Li's advice to retire and ended up being forced to commit suicide. Were they muddleheaded rulers and foolish subjects? They weren't. They were forced to do what they had to because of power politics. Now that you have made a great achievement and earned everlasting fame, why don't you follow in the footsteps of Fan Li and go into retirement to save yourself? You can then tour the peak of Mount Emei or travel around the world like Chisongzi."

Zhong Hui replied: "What you just said is so far-off. I can't do this. Besides, given my current situation, there isn't a need for me to do this."

Jiang Wei then said:

"I only suggested that you go into retirement. I am sure that given your intelligence, you can think of other options and carry them out. You don't need an old man (around 61 at the time) like me to get longwinded on this."

They became even closer friends after this.

Jiang Wei finally managed to instigate Zhong Hui to start a rebellion against Wei and the duke of Jin, Sima Zhao. Some of Zhong Hui officers did not comply with the rebellion and led a mutiny, killing both Zhong Hui and Jiang Wei, as well as Jiang Wei's wife and child(ren)

According to Jin dynasty historian Sun Sheng:

"During the early Yonghe era, when I accompanied General Huan Wen on a campaign against the Cheng Han state, I spoke to many Shu locals about Jiang Wei. They told me: 'After Jiang Wei surrendered, he wrote a secret letter to Liu Shan saying that he was going to pretend to serve under Zhong Hui and wait for an opportunity to assassinate him and restore Shu. I hope that Your Majesty can temporarily endure humiliation over the next few days. I am planning to overturn the situation and restore our state in the same way the Sun and Moon transition from darkness to brightness."

[romance-of-three-memes]

I respect your defense of bisexual woman and all but I just don’t want to put my mouth somewhere I know a dick has been

Yall out here acting like these girls’ pussies be haunted by the ghosts of penises past, this ain’t a Dickmas Carol, be so fucking for real

[romance-of-three-memes]

Sure when teenage girls write self-insert characters that hang out with their faves it’s “cringey” and “bad fanfiction” but when Dante does it it’s a “literary classic” and “redefines the way we view Catholicism”

[romance-of-three-memes]

I finally got my hands on the second volume of The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish and I'm happy to announce that it's turned into a game of psychological warfare between the two main characters, because the prince has figured out that Li Yu is his fish and he thinks he's a spirit that can change form between a fish and a human but Li Yu still thinks the prince doesn't know, and the prince doesn't want to give it away because he's not sure what to make of the whole spirit thing.

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oh well. at least there's research into topics no one but me gives a fuck about

[romance-of-three-memes]

The holy grail of searching through academic literature is coming across a string of publications that are like:

Here’s An Idea. Smith et al. 2016

Terrible Idea; a comment on Smith et al. 2016. Johnson 2016.

You��re Wrong Too; a response to Johnson 2016. Nelson 2016.

Guys Just Stop Fighting, None Of Us Know What’s Going On; a Review of the Current Literature. McBrien 2017.

[romance-of-three-memes]

Yeah these are the only options you're getting. Now perish.

P.S you can be as weird and freaky as you like in your reasonings for your answers and I will not judge.

[romance-of-three-memes]

my ancient history teacher interrupting herself to tell us, while looking very distressed and worried, "just to be clear, never, ever, accept to partake in any form of competition against one of the gods" as if it were a very common occurrence is top tier teaching

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large women 👍. you agree. retrieve your halberd from the armory

[romance-of-three-memes]

[romance-of-three-memes]

I respect your defense of bisexual woman and all but I just don’t want to put my mouth somewhere I know a dick has been

Yall out here acting like these girls’ pussies be haunted by the ghosts of penises past, this ain’t a Dickmas Carol, be so fucking for real

[romance-of-three-memes]

me writing fanfic, a medium known for being whimsical and fun and just a little bit silly: if this isn't 100% realistic and accurate in every respect i'll die

[romance-of-three-memes]

just because someone can articulate their point better doesn’t make them right, it makes them articulated. 

[romance-of-three-memes]

so like how *are* you supposed to defend against horse archers? just asking

You cant. In terms of medieval warfare, there is no tactical counter to horse archers. They can outmaneuver footmen, and outrange other mounted units. Trenches and earthworks with artillery can stop them, but you effectively besiege yourself. The only effective defenses against horse archers are strategic; i.e. "hide in the woods so you don't fight the horse archers."

"But CT, If they're objectively the best unit, why did anyone bother with knights and swords?"

Accurately firing a bow from horseback is hard. So hard, that it essentially requires a lifetime of practice. A regular fighting force of Horse Archers kinda requires that you dedicate a bit of your entire society to training horse archers from birth. This is easier if you are already an equestrian society. Like the Parthians, Mongols, or Apache.

[romance-of-three-memes]

[romance-of-three-memes]

Piss baby gamer bros: what's with all this WOKE NONBINARY SHIT? Dragon Age used to be COOL and DARK and REALISTIC, it never had this bullshit social justice nonbinary-

Me, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose, about to pull out a line spoken by a dlc companion from a game that was released 15 years ago, three entries back in the series, and is the second least if not -the- least played entry: Well, ackshually-

Sooo the new Dragon Age is coming out in a bit over a month so I dunno, I might not be as active on this blog for awhile. Or maybe I'll be just as active as before, like I said I dunno, but I finally started actually seeking out information about the new game instead of just looking at promotional stuff and shit posts my old Dragon Age mutuals reblog, as well as planning the basic details of my player character. I can already feel it changing my brain chemistry, especially since it looks like they're going to finally expand on a couple of different parts of the lore I've been dying to know about for a decade.

So just a potential forewarning, I guess?

[romance-of-three-memes]

Red Cliff Part One Thoughts

I really like the style/design (idk proper terminology) whatever. The sets and the locations! The cinematography. It's all really pretty!

My heart was breaking in literally the very first scene with Emperor Xian and the little birdie and he looked so happy for a single second in his miserable life and then Cao Cao came in and he just went... deflate :(

Speaking of Cao Cao.. he didn't really do it for me. He lacked a certain chaotic pizzazz that I think Cao Cao should have. Like he was just Some Guy who occasionally went into Cartoon Villian mode and it was just a bit... bleh. He looked ok though.

Zhuge Liang is kinda cute and I like his energy. His introduction was fun with the way they had him lying in the grass. Looks-wise he doesn't really fit my image of him (i can't deal with his hair being up all the time for a start) but he's still Blorbo™

ZHAO YUN BABY RESCUE ZHAO YUN BABY RESCUE. I didn't initially know the movie covered Changban but I'm SO glad it does.

Also. He got to cuddle Liu Bei 🥺🥰 (who, I might add, DID NOT YEET HIS SON!!!)

Actually Liu Bei really was just a cute old dad in this 💗

We haven't seen much of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei but I like that Zhang Fei seems to actually have braincells. It's a nice change. Also the scene with Guan Yu reading to the kids towards the end is so fucking cute.

I was a bit confused about Sun Quan already being styled as a prince because I was sure that didn't happen until later? but maybe i'm wrong. He's kinda hot.

I found it a bit weird that Zhuge Liang could just walk up into his face like that because it feels a bit inappropriate to do that to a prince you have literally only just met?

Where is Ziyu? Where is my son??

ZHOU YU??? I HAVE to talk for a long time about Zhou Yu. To me this portrayal is like, the Real™ Zhou Yu. I mean don't get me wrong, I enjoy the petty, competitive little bitch that he often gets portrayed as thanks to Luo Guanzhong, but this dude? He's charming. He's kind. I fell so in love with him. Sure in an ideal world he'd have been more of a prettyboy in the face but hey you can't have everything, and he was still kinda handsome. With a gorgeous smile :)

Oh yeah and the way they introduce him by fixing the flute for that kid. I was like THAT'S HIM THAT'S MY NERD. My HEART.

The romantic and sexual tension between these two is off the charts

They go to see Zhou Yu's pretty wife Xiao Qiao and Zhuge Liang helps her deliver a baby horse... just... because? And they gaze lovingly at each other a bit more

And then they go into a darkened room to have sex play a duet while Xiao Qiao and Lu Su watch on awkwardly.

Then Sun Quan's baby sister Xiaomei shows up and asserts herself as the obligatory Sword Girl™. She insists on being involved in all the action and battle scenes. Which, well, fine I guess. At least she was historically into swords.

Anyway they go hunting and we have to watch a guy almost get eaten by a tiger.

Speaking of girls, after this we have to watch Zhou Yu have ACTUAL sex with his wife (possibly to try and make us forget about his chemistry with Zhuge Liang). Which is fine, I guess. But Xiao Qiao has been pretty much a cardboard cut-out Pretty Wife for most of this. She doesn't have anything inspiring or valuable to say. They don't even mention that she's a good musician too!

Off they all go back to meet Liu Bei + Crew again and they all become FRIENDS and it turns into a really cute buddy movie between Wu and Shu. Liu Bei is WEAVING SHOES.

There's a little bit of dick-measuring, but mostly they all get on and it's cute :)

Then there's a bit long battle or whatever. The most notable moment being Zhou Yu PULLING THE ARROW OUT OF HIS SHOULDER OH GOD WHYYYYY. NOO. WHY WOULD YOU RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD MOVIE WITH THAT

And then they have a big banquet and Sun Quan decides NOW is the perfect time to propose a marriage between his baby sister and that pathetic old Liu Bei. So she seals Liu Bei's accupoints.

The difference between Zhao Yun and Zhuge Liang's reactions to this is very befitting of their characters I think lmao

Cao Cao continues to be a horny vanilla old dick. Zhuge Liang and Xiaomei play with pigeons and have a cute chat. Which feels good to me because I always saw Liangliang as the type that properly respects women.

Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu have a final little chat where they're like "oh gosh I really hope we don't become enemies :(:(:( " and then that's the end!!