#men can be abused too

[themoodyestj]

genuinely asking like what is your stance on danneel and jensens relationship, and how do you feel about Jensen stans? And the recent post about women being subtle abusers towards men, is that directed towards danneel? Are you saying that danneel is genuinely mentally abusive towards Jensen? Again genuinely asking because I’m curious no hate at all

Hello Anon,

I apologize in advance for the short answer, things in life are speeding up again. What do I feel about Jensen stans? Well, not all Jensen stans are made the same, so I'm going to talk about the delulu ones, the gatekeepers.

There are some stans who put him in an impossible pedestal, they want him everywhere, doing everything... except living his own life. People who objectify him and have zero respect for him, tagging him in their delulu episodes, wanting his attention, chasing him down the street for photos. I mean, these people do everything and want everything... except letting him live his life.

Regarding my post, yes, it includes Danneel, and takes her as an example, but it extends to all abusive women. I do see some behaviors in her that lead me to believe there is abuse, and I don't ignore those red flags. My mutuals sure have a lot of evidence on it, feel free to browse. @lightofraye is one of them.

But also, I kept it vague because I have been noticing a lot of sexual bias regarding this subject. Just because men are strong and have a career, it doesn't mean they can't be abused. In fact, I know a lot of men who'd rather take a slap than give it, because they were raised to never lay hand on a woman, or mistreat her in any way.

And some women take advantage of that. And sadly, some people applaud it and call it girl power.

[egalitarianchica]

Excuse me, what the actual fuck? She’s Mary Kay Letourneau 2.0.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[normalbrothers]

TOMMY: The war is done! Shut the door on it like I did.

[bayetea]

I don't like the judo flip in moa as much as the next guy but in my eyes it's largely the result of rick not taking female violence half as seriously as male violence (a result of viewing women as weaker and inferior to men such that their acts of violence don't need to be taken as seriously) and not so much anything about annabeth herself. like I do genuinely feel that annabeth is a complex heroine and definitely one of the better ones in the realm of ya action-adventure fiction produced in the past 25 years but she is still a girl being written by a man and all I'm saying is that her writing clearly reflects that sometimes (more in tags)

[dykedvonte]

I'm probably going to post about this on the MW subreddit, but I still find it pretty hilarious that most fans assume the "struggles" Jimbalaya was dealing with back on Earth were related to criminal acts (usually in order to demonize Curly) meanwhile most of the pieces of clues I've gathered from the HFIM dlc and the QnAs we got about the characters' lives have lead me to believe Jimbalaya's struggles were about poverty.

In the HFIM dlc we're pretty clearly playing a fish version of Jimbalaya, and the whole game is about how a capitalistic system ruins people (fish) and those that climb up help perpetuate the system and those that go down just get eaten. So it's pretty interesting to me that Jimbalaya fish even after consuming other fish and items... keeps going down.

But it was the third QnA that sealed it for me. Curly's hobbies are around a lot of friends and family that he could join interesting things. And of course play snow sports in Winter. Winter snow sports... which let's be honest is a pretty expensive hobby to have. Meanwhile, Jimbalaya can't afford any hobbies other than joining one with Curly.

I think this kinda just adds more fuel for Jimbalaya to both envy yet aspire to be like Curly.

I dunno, it's just fascinating to me watching so many fans claim the "struggles" were so obviously to do with crime when most of the current evidence I noticed seems to point towards money related issues.

-🌟 Anon

I think both are valid and valuable interpretations that’s the MW fandom makes but I think the major problem with it is the severity in which they make Jimmy out to be every factor wrong with men in society.

Like I think it’s interesting to use the idea he has some record, misdemeanors/petty stuff, that has complied to make his life more difficult. It’s all his own doing for his entitlement and general behavior but it can also be used to comment on Capitalism banking on desperation and envy. A lot of his actions are desperate because he knows his crimes on the Tulpar will make it virtually to climb any ladder, anywhere anymore due to their weight. Like in the end the problem is undeniably how the proverbial rat race creates environments that fosters Jimmy’s and creates ineffective systems like Curly represents.

Curly on the other hand benefits from the corporate part of it with his financial freedom, stability and prestige but he too is socially stagnant, deeply unhappy in the identities placed on to him and unrecognizable as anything other than a cog in the machine. I think this goes in tandem with the other members too as the identities placed onto them in the scenario all represent stages in capitalism and class discrepancies: Anya represents largely marginalized identities (particularly women in blue collar fields/harassment) and how they ultimately have to fend for themselves. Daisuke a sort of perception of both a class between Curly and the rest, protected no matter the effects of the establishment due to his home life but at the same time he is the metaphorical future gen, things stripped from him as the older generations squabble amongst themselves in private conversations leaving him unequipped. Then there’s Swansea being sort of those who have lived through it, knowing how it ends but ultimately still lack the skills, resources and want to change it, letting it cycle.

The entire thing with Jimmy circles back to the fandom ultimately wanting easy solutions to the events in the games, a face to blame and a weird black and white thinking to issues that are dangerous to view that way.

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

So I saw a reblog of my gripes about "There Are Other Ways" in Epic: The Musical from @nerdygirl2023 where they mentioned how they get annoyed by Calypso's song, but mentioned they haven't read the Odyssey yet, but I HAVE and I'm about to REALLY RUIN "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" and I am NOT going to mince words! So, Trigger Warnings for Rape and Sexual Abuse.

So, why this song, despite being pretty is the WORST SONG EVER? I have MANY reasons. I'll start with the context in the story and then I'll dissect her song lyrics. It's going to be a LONG POST and I'm going to get salty so I'll add a TLDR at the end.

First, while Odysseus was on Calypso's island, she RAPED him. To prove my point, I'll give you six (double the amount I did for Circe's Coercion) and I'll bold the part that proves it was rape.

"So saying, the strong Argeiphontes departed, and the queenly nymph went to the great-hearted Odysseus, when she had heard the message of Zeus. Him she found sitting on the shore, and his eyes were never dry of tears, and his sweet life was ebbing away, as he longed mournfully for his return, for the nymph was no longer pleasing in his sight. By night indeed he would sleep by her side perforce in the hollow caves, unwilling beside the willing nymph, but by day he would sit on the rocks and the sands, racking his soul with tears and groans and griefs, and he would look over the unresting sea, shedding tears."

2. "On this he took his leave, and Calypso went out to look for Odysseus, for she had heard Zeus' message. She found him sitting upon the beach with his eyes ever filled with tears, and dying of sheer home sickness; for he had got tired of Calypso, and though he was forced to sleep with her in the cave by night, it was she, not he, that would have it so. As for the day time, he spent it on the rocks and on the sea shore, weeping, crying aloud for his despair, and always looking out upon the sea."

3. "With this the mighty slayer of Argus departed, and the lovely Nymph, mindful of Zeus’ command, looked for valiant Odysseus. She found him sitting on the shore, his eyes as ever wet with tears, life’s sweetness ebbing from him in longing for his home, since the Nymph no longer pleased him. He was forced to sleep with her in the hollow cave at night, as she wished though he did not, but by day he sat among rocks or sand, tormenting himself with tears, groans and anguish, gazing with wet eyes at the restless sea."

4. "And in a moment vanished from her eye, The nymph, obedient to divine command, To seek Ulysses, paced along the sand, Him pensive on the lonely beach she found, With streaming eyes in briny torrents drown’d, And inly pining for his native shore; For now the soft enchantress pleased no more; For now, reluctant, and constrained by charms, Absent he lay in her desiring arms, In slumber wore the heavy night away, On rocks and shores consumed the tedious day; There sate all desolate, and sighed alone, With echoing sorrows made the mountains groan. And roll’d his eyes o’er all the restless main, Till, dimmed with rising grief, they streamed again."

5."The killer of Argus, the gods’ great messenger, said these words and left. The regal nymph Calypso, once she heard Zeus’s message, went away to find  great-hearted Odysseus. She met him on the shore, sitting by the sea, his eyes always full of tears,  because he was squandering his sweet life, mourning for his return. The nymph no longer gave him joy. At night he slept beside her in the hollow cave, as he was forced to do—not of his own free will, though she was keen enough. But in the daylight hours he’d sit down on the rocks along the beach, his heart straining with tears and groans and sorrow, as he gazed, through his tears, over the restless sea."

6. "The strong god glittering left her as he spoke, and now her ladyship, having given heed to Zeus’s mandate, went to find Odysseus in his stone seat to seaward—tear on tear brimming in his eyes. The sweet days of his life time were running out in anguish over his exile, for long ago the nymph had ceased to please. Though he fought shy of her and her desire, he lay with her each night, for she compelled him. But when day came he sat on the rocky shore and broke his own heart groaning, with eyes wet scanning the bare horizon of the sea."

Every translation I can find, says Odysseus was NOT WILLING to sleep with her, but SHE FORCED HIM. Now, tell me, dear reader: If Odysseus was the woman and Calypso was the man, what would we immediately call this? Oh, that's right. RAPE. That's RAPE. But far, far too often, I see posts claiming Odysseus doesn't deserve Penelope because she was faithful to him, while he slept with Circe (who he was COERCED to do so with) and Calypso (who RAPED him).

Now, onto the lyrics. These lyrics. I hate these lyrics so much that they put my disgust and disdain for "There Are Other Ways" TO SHAME. First verse, not so iffy, but the Chorus? OH, I HATE THIS CHORUS.

[CALYPSO] And if I pushed you Or if I came on too strong Or if I ambushed you For that, I'll say I was wrong And if you hate me Then I am sorry my love's too much for you But I'm not sorry for loving you

"Came on too strong"? "TOO STRONG"?! Calypso RAPED him and these lyrics downplay so hard what she did to him. Then she goes, "Well, if you hate me, I'm sorry my love's too much for you to handle." EXCUSE ME? That is so MANIPULATIVE that it makes my stomach curl. I've had toxic platonic relationships and this is a COMMON TACTIC. Instead of acknowledging, the abuse is downplayed as just Calypso was being a bit clingy or too forward with her feelings, surprising Odysseus, rather than her sexually assaulting the poor man and if he hates her, well he just couldn't handle her, so it's his fault. She just loved him sooooo much, so she doesn't have to be apologize for that. EUGH.

Onto the next verse!

[ODYSSEUS] Calypso

[CALYPSO] Let me speak I spent my whole life here Was cast away when I was young Alone for a hundred years I had no friends but the sky and sun So when you washed ashore I thought for sure that you were my dream come true I thought I knew

So before Odysseus can even get a word in edgewise, she cuts him off. She doesn't let him say ANYTHING about how he felt about what she did to him before she starts telling him how awful her life was before he washed up on her island. That's also a manipulation tactic: Look, my life was so sad and it was just awful before you came into my life and you made it so much better, so doesn't it excuse my actions and the harm I caused you? NO. NO, IT DOES NOT.

Onto the last part (I'm cutting the Ensemble because it's just repeating her lines):

[CALYPSO] I'm not sorry I'm angry and tired and restless and sad I'm stuck in the moments I swore that we had I wish you would chase me Or try to embrace me For once, I wish you would lie and say

[ODYSSEUS] I love you

[CALYPSO] You do?

[ODYSSEUS] But not in the way that you want me to

[CALYPSO] I hate that I fell in love with you Why did I fall in love with you? What do I do with this love for you? How am I supposed to get over you? Why in the world won't you love me too?

In the verse, she says "I wish you would chase me, or try to embrace me. For once, I wish you would lie and say" which is Calypso acknowledging that she knows Odysseus doesn't love her and never has. He was kind to her and never lied to her about how he felt, but she used her feelings and his kindness to pursue her wants and desires over Odysseus's health and happiness.

Then, Odysseus finally tells her what she wants to hear, but he admits that it's not how she wants. He loves her as a friend or as someone who helped him when he was at his lowest, but he does not view her as a romantic partner. She gets angry, but it's that last line that makes me so furious. "Why in the world won't you love me too?"

Odysseus was raped. He was violated. His consent was thrown out the window and he was still polite to her; the person that took away his consent nightly to the point that he would sit on the beach EVERY DAY and cry, just wishing he could GO HOME where he can feel SAFE. And Calypso can't even comprehend that she harmed him so badly that he was wasting away from the grief and pain. She just complains that he won't love her back and it sucks.

"I'm Not Sorry For Loving You"? SHE SHOULD BE, BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HIM. Loving someone, really loving someone, means you care about that person and even if it emotionally hurts you because you know they won't love you in the way you want, you still want them to be happy and you do what you can to be a positive influence in their life, without trodding on their agency. You may not agree with their choices, but you still are kind and respectful, and you don't use your feelings as an excuse to force your wants/will on them or harm them.

TLDR: Calypso is Odysseus's rapist and "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" is an abusive, manipulative song that isn't a proper apology to him in any sense of the word. It shows that, above all else, while Calypso says she loves Odysseus, she still values herself and her feelings over him.

[themoodyestj]

I am usually a huge supporter of women who have suffered abuse at the hands of men. But this girl I knew(and cut ties with) was very abusive to her bf. She would lock him in rooms, hide his keys so he couldn’t leave when she wanted to fight with him…she would go through his phone and impersonate him to get people she wanted away from him to think he hated them. She once claimed that her upstairs neighbors sexually harassed her bc they called her a fat ass and called the cops on them. She ripped up all the flowers and shrubs in his garden. She would scream at all their friends to get out of her house when she wanted to fight with him. This girl claims that this was all “reactive abuse”. When I called her out on it she said she hope my little girls were abused. I personally don’t think any action that is thought out is “reactive abuse”. The things she did to him were thought out. I myself was in an extremely abusive relationship in my late teens to early 20s. I would never wish harm on anyone else in a million years. Let alone children. I just want confirmation that I am not crazy. I feel bad not supporting other women. But she story has so many holes and so much evidence to the contrary. Pretty sure she is the abuser. What do you think? Honest opinion? I’m here for any insights

Well, before I answer, I want to disclaim that I have no way of knowing of whom the real abuser is, so my answer is solely on my knowledge and experience.

I'm really sorry for the predicament your friend is in. And I think you're right, she is the abuser in this case, precisely for the reason you mentioned. Everything she does is thought out, not in the spur of the moment. And what she is doing (the isolation, for example, trying to have him lose his friends) is textbook abuse tactics. If she's the one hiding his keys, it means he wants to leave the confrontation, but she wants him in, to have the chance to hurt him. There is such a thing as mutual abusive, there will be times when the abused will play by the same rules, because they are so fed up, and they just want some sense of control. But they will never be as hurtful as the abuser, because an abuser lacks empathy, so they will see no limits to what they do, so it never works. Even the attention seeking, crying out wolf in hopes that he gets involved to defend her... Yes, narcissistic.

I'm sorry for your own personal experience, and I'm glad you're out of it. You are clearly very strong and you have my utmost respect.

As for the woman wishing abuse on your little girls... Yes, that for me is a sign that she did not experience abuse, she is just saying something very shocking to have your sympathy. No one having gone through that would wish it on someone else. Especially knowing how hard it is to endure it, but most importantly, how it can change someone and scar them forever, and how hard it is to get free. Honest opinion? Trust your gut. I don't think you're crazy, I have the same feeling. You did well by cutting ties with her, narcissistic people are the kind you want faaaaaaaar away from you.

Thank you for sharing your story. Abuse is not exclusive to women. Yes, there is a statistic that points to the majority of the victims being female, but gender roles are changing, and so will these situations. I mean, we just have to open our eyes a bit more to notice that toxic behavior regarding men is starting to get normalized and applauded. This could definitely tip the scale in the long run. Wishing the best for you and your family! :)

[egalitarianchica]

Yet another reminder that men and boys can be victims of these things too. Glad Justin felt brave enough to speak up ❤️

[unproduciblesmackdown]

winston my quant of billions

[lightofraye]

A Little Perspective

This may be lengthy and detailed and potentially triggering for some. I will be covering a number of possible points of view about things covering why Jensen hasn't left--and may never. (A prospective I'm not thrilled about, to be honest.)

So. Let's begin.

1) Abuse: This is double issue for Jensen. Potentially a triple. How do I mean? For instance, Jensen himself admitted his father beat him with a belt--and from the sound of it, a lot, while he was growing up, as Jensen knew thinner belts hurt more. Worse, his father said he did it "out of love", so there's that bad, unpleasant association right out the bat.

Plus, his mother... this is only speculation, an assumption. She either looked the other way and accepted the abuse, or she was a participant of the abuse and thought it was normal/acceptable. That too may color Jensen's perspective and not a good way either.

Then Jensen became a model... and the modeling industry is/was rife on abuse. A lot of stories come out later where those who quit the industry or endured it suffered a great deal of sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse.... A "pretty boy" like Jensen likely would've suffered as well. I don't believe he's ever shared stories and he likely may never.

(Hi, toxic perception of men as victims again.)

I can't even begin about the sexual abuse that is rampant in Hollywood itself. Yes, women were largely targets, but as we've heard the last few years,... so have been men.

Hell, Jensen was sexually assaulted by Misha! It was used in a fucking gag reel! It's not funny! Jensen even said if he had known they were going to put it in the gag reel, he would've asked them not to. That to me speaks volumes.

There are brief stories out there. A PA witnessed Danneel slapping Jensen when she thought Jensen was flirting with the PA. (He wasn't; he's just that sweet.) There's another story of some restaurant goer who saw how harsh Danneel was bullying Jensen outside the restaurant.

He's... diminished. His baseline for normal is not the baseline for normal for non-abused people. His self-esteem, confidence, and ability to stand up for himself is heavily damaged. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself. Every time he has, he's been smacked down.

Yes, he can stand up for others time to time, but there are instances when he didn't and gave up in face of authority. (Mark Sheppard being demoted to guest star and losing pay and choosing to quit instead... only had Jared standing up for him in the end. Misha caved instantly and Jensen gave up as well.)

So what then does it mean for him and Danneel? Did she become abusive off the bat? No. That's not how abusers work. There were likely instances where she slipped and he mentally made excuses, ignored the red flags because that's how it tends to happen. Hindsight is ever perfect. Being in the heat of it, we tend to try and excuse, defend, or otherwise rewrite it in our minds. We don't want to think of it as normal.

Then once they were married, Danneel began to let that completely slip and fall, and he was "trapped". The cycle continues. By now he thinks of it as normal, acceptable, maybe impossible to escape. He has likely been told no one would want him. He's "middle-aged", damaged goods. This has also been told to female victims and it's hard to break that mindset too. It's hard to find strength to completely break free when you've been fed insidious lies since childhood.

It's a trap. A difficult trap to break. Can it happen? Yes. But it's very, very hard.

2. Blackmail: This one can fall under two very different categories. One, the abuse one. Where the children (I've mentioned this before) are being used as hostages to guarantee Jensen's continued marriage to Danneel. As in, "If you divorce me, I'll make sure you never see the kids again!" It's a common threat, to boot.

Despite what some people have said, I believe Jensen loves his children. Yes, "especially" JJ, but I believe he loves all three. He may not be home a lot to see them, but he loves them. He would like to keep that access to them. It may be he believes Danneel's threat, and I'm sure there's some who believe it'd be "easy" for a woman to make such a threat and keep it.

Here's a hint, folks. The truth to that lie. If a father asks for full custody of the children in a divorce, they usually get that request granted, no matter what. But most of them don't ask for that, and so, the parent that does ask gets it granted. So... if a husband and wife vie against each other and both ask, guess who wins? The father.

Most fathers don't think to ask because of the perception of mothers always win. Mothers are the ones who should be responsible for children. And so forth.

Regardless... Jensen likely might believe that threat and feels some access is better than none.

Then the other kind of blackmail. Note: I do not believe nearly all that I'm about to write. This is purely speculative and a number of possible blackmail that Danneel might have over him.

There's the J2 tinhat rumors. I could see why those rumors lasted as long as they have. I've seen the stories, the posts, photos, watched them in conventions. It's entirely possible that Jared and Jensen did have some romantic/sexual relationship for a time. Maybe even after they got married to Genevieve and Danneel, it might have continued.

It could be Genevieve just accepted it and when it ended (as there was a gradual separation even before the whole The Winchesters/Prequelgate debacle), Jared and Gen were okay. Danneel... however... might not have been as okay with it as she indicated. Her posts over the years, where she tried to make it seem she and Jensen were together when fan photos and such came out at the same time of Jensen and Jared together, might've been wildly embarrassed by it all. She might not have been as okay with it as Genevieve was and just collected evidence to hold over Jensen's head.

After all, sadly, Hollywood still isn't as accepting of LGBTQ as we'd like. When actors come out, their careers usually don't continue, out of the weird perception that gay men can't act straight. (When I hear that, I look at Matt Bomer and go "Are you sure?!" I believed Bomer was a charming straight man even after he came out--his character on White Collar was awesome!)

So there's that possibility.

Then there's the orgies rumor we've heard about in the past. Or rather that one tweet that led to a threat of a lawsuit--which sadly made it valid and legitimate. Danneel really didn't know how to let a rumor die. It might make her look weird and bad too, but her career has been nonexistent for a long time and her reputation has already been destroyed by her own actions. It wouldn't hurt her nearly as much as it might hurt Jensen.

Then there's other possible vices. Alcoholism seems to be the more... "acceptable" of vices. As is smoking. If an actor is an alcoholic, they just go to rehab, get help, and be fine. But for someone who is self-conscious about their image, it might be more difficult to accept. Being seen drunk time to time is not the same as being an alcoholic, after all.

The same goes for drugs. Not that rumor has been very well-known, but it can exist.

Then there's the blackmail of affairs. In Hollywood, affairs and flings are considered a part of the life. They happen. Couples that are apart for a while time to time may dabble in affairs and flings. Even with co-stars. This happens too. More than most would like. (The more infamous one would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Others have happened too. It's just common and accepted. Anyone saying otherwise is just wrong.)

Again, image-conscious and wanting to push the solid love marriage, this could be damaging. Even if Danneel hadn't really made it much of a secret that she's been having an on-and-off affair with Steve... it's still different. I repeat: she has no career or reputation to destroy. Jensen does.

Even if Hollywood wouldn't give that big of a damn about it.

3. PR Marriage: Now I know this has been pushed by other antis, and even suggested to me, but I find myself... hesitating on it. If it was in fact a PR marriage, why would he tolerate the abuse at all? Surely there'd be something in the contract about demeaning him and belittling him? It doesn't fit.

And there should have been protection over mistreatment or not fulfilling parts of it. I don't know... it doesn't quite fit. Not for me.

--

This was a long, long essay. I knew it would be, and it was still hard to write parts of it.

I want to end it with another point.

Female on male violence is often portrayed as a joke. Wedding Crashers had a female on male rape and it was a joke, a comedy bit. The one time I remember seeing such a scenario used on Law and Order: SVU, the male victim wasn't believed because he was a man and should have been able to overpower the woman.

Like it's expected of men to be able to just beat the shit out of their abusive partners... as though no one realized that if come upon by the police, any bruises on her would be taken more seriously than over him! Even if he had bruises too! Unless there's video evidence of physical abuse on him, anything else is considered... a joke. Impossible.

What's sad is that this too is an aspect of misogyny. Men are expected to be able to overpower women, so when a man is "taking" abuse and not fighting back, it's another part of misogyny. Because he's "lesser" than a woman, and that's shameful.

We have a lot of growing to do as a society. We need to realize that just because one person is making the money does not mean they hold all the power. We've only begun to see the problems of abuse, and all the areas it covers.

There's physical abuse, the one most commonly known. Then sexual, the second commonly known. The lesser recognized are financial (unless a person is a senior citizen, then it's considered a legitimate crime), and mental and emotional being the least known or recognized (only considered legitimate if done on a child and with proof).

Until we end the toxic expectations of men, and yes, women, and realize anyone can be a victim, and that we all, as a whole, deserve respect... we have a long way to go.

Just remember: It begins with you. It begins with us.

[jaladwolf]

Serious Rant

Sorry I have to rant real quick because this bothers me so much, not to mention it makes me sick.

TW// Topics of abuse, swearing

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.

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Why is it that male domestic abuse victims don’t nearly get as much attention as female?!

Seriously, did you know that about 40% or more of domestic violence victims are men? I bet you didn’t, because it’s constantly overshadowed by the 60% of female victims. I know 40% doesn’t sound like a lot, but god it pisses me off how much male victims are brushed off in favor for females.

Lemme make something clear: every victim, no matter their gender, race or religion, is valid. This blatant ignorance of this has to stop.

Oh, and to the uneducated ones who say it’s victim blaming to blame the female perpetrators? Please… open. Your f*cking. Eyes! If someone is abused, the gender should not be the first priority. It should be the situation and trying to find a solution to help the victim!

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that this sort of mentality is not only kind of misandrist, but also really damaging. This sort of thinking can make male victims feel like they don’t matter, which is a load of bullsh*t! Male victims are victims too, and telling them “you’re a man” and to “suck it up” is not helpful. It’s just pushing the narrative that they don’t matter. They are no less of men than they were before. And if anything, the mere act of speaking up about their experience is incredibly brave..

My point still stands that this sort of thing should be addressed. Male victims are just as important as female victims. Please remember this. And to all the male domestic violence victims out there, who are too scared to speak out…

You are not alone. There will always be someone who will listen to you. Please… just hold on…

A/N: Sorry if this is a bit off brand for me, but I had to get this off my chest because it makes me sad and angry at the same time.

[iwatcheditbegin]

It would be one thing if the Gaylor speculation was just “ I really relate to some lyrics , wonder if there’s another meaning here 👀?”

And not calling her a liar, making invasive speculations, calling all her relationships fake, attacking her loved ones, sexualizing her, throwing her traumas in her face.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[themoodyestj]

wow, so you don't actually care about victims of abuse, that's pretty much clear, judging by the way you treated that anon. they shared their experience, told you about their pain and you just brushed them off, acused them of making shit up and even called them enabler of abuse! i bet your answer would have been so different if they agreed with you at the end, you would have been so sweet and comprehensive, but that wasn't the case, so you called them delusional. they weren't even rude about it, and you treated them like garbage. look asshole, there's no such thing as abuse cliches or a mold or prejudices, just decades of research and observation of the human behavior. a narcissist won't forbid you from stuff, they manipulate you to do whatever they wan't, and you would be convinced that it was your own idea, that's why is so hard to even realize you're being abused. they systematically destroy you, bit by bit untill you feel like you're nothing. anon was right in pointing out, that Jensen doesn't look like a destroyed person. he has a beautiful and full life.

Oh my, did I hurt someone's feelings? Oh Lord, I really didn't want to. I know when Anons send me these asks they always come with their best intent at heart, and no agendas at all. They're just trying to be constructive, right? Those beautiful, smart, educated people. I now have seen the error of my ways, and I apologize. Clearly, I’m the problem here. How dare I not roll out the red carpet for someone who came into my space, used their abuse as a weapon to invalidate everyone else’s, and tried to play abuse gatekeeper? That was so insensitive of me.

It's clear as day their experience trump's everyone else's, so we should all fall on our knees into their emotional manipulation and just exclaim "Look at their bleeding heart! The truth must be with them! If they say Jensen isn't being abused, and that I wasn't abused, then they clearly know, because they were the only true victims."

I deeply regret not responding with flowers and a heartfelt poem about their bravery while they confidently declared that a man playing golf simply couldn’t be abused. I should have applauded their groundbreaking discovery that if someone isn’t actively sobbing on the floor, they must be totally fine. And you're right, oh my God, you are so much smarter than me. There are years of observation. I'll ignore that most of these "years" were heavily influenced by ancient gender roles and biases, for your own benefit. I'll also turn a blind eye to societal evolution, and how things, like crime and abuse, are shaped by the society and its own evolution, so they change. I'll ignore these things because you're so right, that even when you're a dumb fuck, you're right. I wouldn't want to hurt your already bleeding heart.

And you know what? You’re also right about narcissists. They never forbid things, they just manipulate people into thinking their misery was their own idea. Gosh, I wonder if there’s a term for what happens when someone is constantly belittled, gaslit, and stripped of their agency while being made to believe everything is their fault. Oh wait... that’s literally what I said. Oops. My bad.

But no, please, continue educating me with your extensive research (read: whatever you skimmed off a psychology TikTok). I just love when people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about act like authorities on a subject they don’t actually understand. It’s so inspiring. Oh and lastly, I'm sorry that no matter how many times you come into my inbox with your bleeding heart, I still don't fall for your emotional manipulation. That's an abuser's tactic, you know? I'm sorry that it's obvious that, although you wrote a great deal, your intentions came out very clear at the end. You just wanted to defend your fave. You can't stand that he may not be living in the way you decided he should. Gotta show these people their place, right?

God, sounds a lot like narcissism, doesn't it?

[egalitarianchica]

Love that this outlet called this “relationship” what it is, however I would suggest not reading the comments for the sake of your own sanity. Hope this boy’s parents or anyone else in his life will intervene like they should.