#medicine exists for a reason i never take it anyway

[navramanan]

:/

[rabbitrah]

A continuation on my post about unloved foods, specifically this is my in-depth defense of root beer.

Root Beer isn't inherently gross, it's just one of those weird local flavors that's off-putting to people who didn't grow up with it. We all like different things and also we all tend to like flavors that are similar to what we grew up with. That's okay! But honestly root beer is pretty unique and, in my opinion, delicious.

One of the main complaints against root beer is that it tastes like medicine. Funnily enough, it was originally marketed as medicinal! This is true for most OG sodas actually. Pretty much as soon as carbonated water was invented, people were drinking it to soothe various ailments. A lot of the original soft drinks were actually invented by pharmacists. I just think that root beer is especially cool because the main flavor came from the root bark of sassafras, a common North American shrub. Because it's so widespread and aromatic, all parts of the sassafras plant have been used in food and medicine by many different Native American tribes throughout history and was subsequently picked up and used by European colonists. In the 1960s, some studies indicated that that safrole oil, which is produced by the plant, can cause liver damage. Whether or not this would actually remain true after it had been boiled and added to root beer is unclear, but it was really easy to replicate the flavor, so the sassafras in commercial root beer these days is artificial. Another fun fact about safrole is that it's a precursor in the synthesis of MDMA. None of this information has stopped my childhood habit of eating sassfras leaves right off the shrub whenever I walk past it on a hike. I'm like 85% sure it's safe and also mmmm yummy leafs go crunch.

Another root beer complaint is that it tastes like toothpaste. I think this is probably because another key flavor in most root beer recipes is wintergreen. I'm assuming that the people who think this are the same people who think mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste. I can understand and even respect that some people don't like mint and associate it only with brushing their teeth, but like. Mint is a pretty common flavor. I mean I think it's safe to say that humans have been eating mint flavored stuff for longer than toothpaste has existed... anyway!

Other common flavors in root beer (real or artificial) are caramel, vanilla, black cherry bark, sarsaparilla root, ginger, and many more! There's not one official recipe, and root beer enthusiasts often have strong opinions about different brands. Some root beer is sharper, with more strong aromatic flavors, and others are mild and creamier.

Another thing I think is cool about root beer is that it's foamier than most sodas. This was originally because sassafras is a natural surfactant (and why sassafras is also a common thickening agent in Louisiana Creole cooking.) These days, other plant starches or similar ingredients are added to keep the distinctive foam. Root beer foam > all other soft drink foams. That's why root beer floats kick more ass than like, coke floats.

If you've never had root beer before, imagine if a sweetened herbal tea was turned into a soda, because that's basically what it is. If your first response to that is a cringe, fair enough. That's why lots of people don't like it. If your first response to that is "interesting... I might actually like it, though" then I encourage you to track down a can of root beer today, hard as that might be outside the US and Canada. Next time you see an "ew, root beer tastes like medicine/tooth paste" take, know that there's a reason for that, but also the same could be said for literally any herbal or minty food/drink.

My final take on root beer is that it would be the soda of choice for gnomes. Thank you and good night.

[taiyeoki]

Kashimo Headcanons

↳ Husband!Kashimo x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Pregnancy

Synopsis: Kashimo being a man being from the Edo period doesn't change the fact that he's a loving husband and a soon to be father for y/n and their upcoming child.

A/N: I am so madly in love with him that I had to make a whole Tumblr account just to put this out there. This is a new account but I've been using Tumblr for years so I know how things work 💀 Except I use chrome so I never had an account. This is just for a personal idea but anyone's free to read! This one doesn't have any smut so it's just a wholesome thing but I'd like to put a warning anyway.

Husband!Kashimo who couldn't believe what he had heard when you announced that you were pregnant. You were sure he'd gone deaf when he needed you to repeat it like four times.

Husband!Kashimo opens the present you gave him. Inside was an adorable baby outfit with a little lightning crochet on the chest. "What's this for?" Instead, you just stared at him with excitement as if you were about to explode into a firework of happiness. With no reply from you, he decided to look back down into the gift box then noticed the pregnancy test with two pink lines on it next to the clothing. Immediately he looked back up at you and you announce, "Hajime guess what?! I'm pregnant!! Uh... Hajime?" He gave no response. He looked so dumbfounded and shocked at the same time you had to take a picture of his reaction.

Husband!Kashimo who finally registers the news and immediately his expression changes to one of absolute happiness. You swear you've never seen him express this much emotion before considering he usually kept an unamused or an angry resting face. His smile is so genuine, smiling ear to ear as he's about to burst into disbelief.

"I'm gonna be a dad?! Are you serious?! It took me 400 years just for this moment!"

Husband!Kashimo immediately tackles you into a hug, both of you laughing in excitement from the news. He snakes his arms around your waist as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Despite having large hands he uses for fights, they're actually pretty soft and gentle as he brings his hand around your belly and caresses it.

"Y/n," he murmurs softly, "love you so much..."

It took forever for him to let go. It's as if you would disappear if he lets go of the hug. You better believe he's gonna watch over you 24/7.

Husband!Kashimo refuses to let you out of his sight. You knew he was protective but now that you were pregnant he'd grown even more protective over you than he already was. You try to reassure him, "Hajime I'm fine! I'm just going to the bathroom okay?" But he just finds reasons to stay with you. "But what if you get your morning sickness again? At least let me accompany you in case anything happens." Or he pulls the "there are curses everywhere" card on you to let him watch over you.

You couldn't deny his requests of staying with you especially after he gave the softest look. Wrapping his muscular arms around you in a loving hug, he nuzzles close into you making sure to warm you up. Eventually you gave in...

Husband!Kashimo feels bad whenever you actually do get the morning sickness. He tries his best to find comfort in anything at all just for your sake. "Y/n are you okay? How are you feeling now? Do you want some tea?" At first he's too old to understand which medicine he should give you. After all, modern medicine never existed back in the 1600. Instead, he tried to soothe you with tea, herbal soups and warm bathes. Eventually though he does manage to understand what medication you should take and provides you with them but he still prefers it the old fashion way.

Husband!Kashimo dotes on you all the time. He makes sure you're always healthy and happy and whenever you're not, he'd be worried sick. "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick again? Hey how about I buy you some snacks okay. What are you craving for?" Eventually though you actually do cheer up with how much he keeps spoiling you.

Husband!Kashimo is constantly asking you questions to check in on you, making sure you feel loved and appreciated all the time. "Are you hungry?", "What do you wanna eat?", "do you wanna go out? The sunshine will do you good." "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

Husband!Kashimo refuses to let you get hungry or dehydrated. He makes sure to have you well fed everytime. The food he'd prepare are nutritious and healthy with all the right amounts of everything your body needs. Not too much and not too little. Grabbing a cup of water, he hands it to you, "y/n you need to drink lots. I don't want you or the baby getting sick because you aren't eating or drinking well. You both need all the nutrients and vitamins you can get." If you're planning to diet, be prepared for him to scold you.

"Are you crazy?! Dieting during your pregnancy?! You know what- c'mere. You need to eat now."

Believe it or not, despite being a traditional man from the 1600 Edo period he actually knows how to cook. Husband!Kashimo makes the most comforting food you've ever tasted. Although his cooking style is different, it's because of that which makes his food taste uniquely great. It has a delicious smokey aroma to it. At first he wasn't used to the stove and oven so he'd just cook by the log and fire. He started learning how to operate the stove though because you laughed at him for cooking like a caveman squatting down next to the fire like that.

"Pfft Hajime! You don't know how to use the stove?!" He gives you an unamused pout which you honestly found adorable so you decided to teach him how to cook from the stove. Almost immediately he seemed even better than you do in cooking which has his smug face putting you in shame. He's the one laughing at you now because you forgot you were cooking and burnt the food.

"SHIT," you came back panicking from the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen to see him giving you an unimpressed look as if he's about to lecture you. He already had the kitchen under control the moment you arrive. Giving him a sheepish smile, Kashimo doesn't want you near the fire until the baby is out. "Y/n, I'll do all the cooking now. I don't want you burning anything again. What if you get hurt? Right, that goes for the knives too. Let me do all the work."

Husband!Kashimo reassures you everyday that he loves you. It doesn't matter how you look, whether you get stretch marks or leaking breasts. "Y/n, trust me when I say this. In 400 years of my life you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He caresses your growing belly, keeping you in a warm hug as he nuzzles into you and takes in your scent which he always found to be soothing.

"Nothing you do is embarrassing. I love every single part of you. These stretch marks are a reminder of my love for you; our child. I'm happy to know that you're the one carrying my child."

Husband!Kashimo prefers for you to give birth at home because he thinks it's safer there rather than the hospital. He makes sure to hire the best OBGYN, doctors and midwives to check up on you. He looks at you with genuine care and concern, "Y/n the hospital is full of curses. I don't want you getting into any trouble there. What if our baby gets hurt from them?"

Husband!Kashimo instantly gets alert, sitting straight up and checking on you when you told him your water broke in the middle of the night while you two slept in each other's arms.

"Shit- Hajime wake up! My water broke!"

Good thing he hired the midwives. They were already prepared in advance knowing you were going to give birth soon so neither of you needed to panic into the hospital especially since he couldn't drive. He does try to get a license just for you though so he could help with transportation. Hakari helped Kashimo out too, not trusting him to be completely sane with a car and a driving instructor he might end up beating.

Husband!Kashimo is worried sick and upset that he can't do anything to stop the labour pain. The most he could do now is to try and relieve your pain and stress. Giving you a warm towel, a heating pad, making you some soothing tea, anything at all. It still hurts him though to see you like this.

Husband!Kashimo holds you close to him the moment your delivery is about to arrive. If he's being honest here, he's actually quite scared for you, afraid that anything might go wrong. He stays by your side the entire process, reassuring and motivating you.

"Keep pushing y/n, you're almost there."

"You're doing so well!"

"I'm proud of you and our son/daughter"

Husband!Kashimo lets you use him as a stress reliever. Crushing his arm and hands, he didn't expect you to have this much strength. He tries to calm you down, caressing you reassuringly or wiping sweat off.

The moment your childbirth finally ended, both of you are so happy and exhausted. Husband!Kashimo praises you for doing so good and being so strong. He caresses you, keeping you in a hug wrapped in his loving arms as you feel his tense muscles calm down. For a moment you even forgot about the delivery pain as you got distracted by his muscular body. His large veiny hands pull you close into the crook of his neck all snug, "Hah.. I think you broke my bones."

Well your crushing grip didn't break his bones but he definitely woke up with a bruise the next day.

Husband!Kashimo showers you and your son/daughter with so much love and attention. If he wasn't protective enough before, he definitely was now. In fact he'd be considered as overprotective at this point.

Husband!Kashimo doesn't hire anyone to do the confinement for you. Instead he does it himself, making sure to get you the best natural ingredients. He uses the freshest meat, the highest quality herbs and the finest tea. Surprisingly this ancient man knows a lot about women's healthcare, their pregnancy and confinement. Although he uses the 1600 Edo style rather than the modern one but it gives a unique treatment.

Husband!Kashimo gives you a baby shower consisting of practically everyone you knew from Jujutsu High. Gojo, Nanami, Shoko, Hakari, Kirara, and even the first and second years were there. He's not too fond of people and neither does he really call them friends but he does it just for you. Also he wants to show off his brand new family. It was a sweet heartfelt action which has you falling head over heels for him all over again.

Husband!Kashimo makes sure you get all the rest you need. He knows parenting isn't easy especially for the person who gave birth. Anytime you looked tired to him at all, he'll jump in and tell you he'll watch over your son/daughter even though he was already by your side to take care of the baby. Luckily this man has insane stamina, speed and efficiency to be keeping up with the baby's needs although he does tire out.

Husband!Kashimo showers you both with all his love and attention to the point he forgets he was looking for Sukuna. For a moment he even stops fighting just to take care of you both and make time for his family. The man is a fighter but he knows his priorities. Plus he'd rather leave his family out of his fighting business or he'll never forgive himself if anything were to happen to either you or your son/daughter.

Hugging you close and the baby safely on his lap between you two, Kashimo gives your son/daughter a sweet peck on their forehead as they fall asleep. He then leans in close to you and goes in for a kiss. His gentle, soft and warm lips intertwine with your own as you both share a loving, passionate kiss. Pulling away, he brings you closer to him and you rest your head on his chest. Sighing, he asks just in case, "is anything wrong?"

"Nah. I'm just happy that's all," you reply with an angelic smile looking up at him. His gentle expression smiling down at you with all the love in the world as you bring your hand up to caress his soft cheeks and the lightning marks under his eye which you always found beautiful. He leans into your loving touch, closing his eyes momentarily. Slight sparks of electricity sounded and you know it was a clear indicator of how happy he is right now. Being attached to you and your baby, you could see electricity go from one bun to the other in a mesmerizing pattern.

"Waiting 400 years for this was totally worth it."

Overall husband!Kashimo is a very protective father and husband to you and your baby. He'll do anything it takes to keep you both safe, happy and healthy. If anyone were to even lay a finger on the wife and son/daughter of Edo period's strongest sorcerer, you better believe they won't even get a chance to see their life flash before their eyes with Kashimo's lightning speed ending everything in an instant.

[anistarrose]

So I have only my two cents to give on the "curing disabilities in fantasy/sci-fi stories" trope, as just one disabled person among many disabled people, but here are my two cents nonetheless.

One defense of the trope is that it's simply a form of escapism, and moreover, a fantasy that disabled people themselves can quite reasonably find joy in — as a feel-good story, a break from all the pain of real life. Many — not all by a long shot, but many — of us would jump at the chance for a cure, after all, and it's not like we're not valid to do so. Lots of us take pride in being disabled, but nevertheless, sometimes it really fucking sucks.

The counterargument to the above is this: that this isn't a realistic trope, and that particularly in combination with the suffocating frequency that this trope is used, this becomes the opposite of a hopeful fantasy. When you have an incurable condition, and the only happy endings you see represented for people like you in fiction are inevitably only achieved once the characters stop being like you — that can be indescribably upsetting.

Disabled characters do not get happy endings while remaining disabled — and fiction is fiction and all, but I'm not going to pretend like this doesn't have gradual, accumulative real-life effects on the amount of effort people/society are willing to put into accessibility and acceptance, because of beliefs like "aren't you going to be cured someday anyway?" Or "isn't this disability just going to stop existing, someday? one way or another?"

I hope I don't have to explain how damaging it is to think the above way, or to imagine a future where disability doesn't exist. (Yes, even though disability is partially socially constructed. That's a load-bearing "partially".)

So, if you couldn't tell, I do generally relate a lot more to the harsher, more critical view of this trope — but I certainly don't want to judge actual disabled people for writing it either (and especially not people with progressive conditions), not when there is genuine catharsis and escapist joy that can be wrung from it. I obviously don't trust non-disabled folks with writing "cure" stories any further than I could throw them, due to a long fucking history of non-disabled people fucking it up — but also, no one should be forced to reveal personal details, let alone medical history, to justify their choice to write something.

This is the paradox that I am willing to come to terms with, by throwing up my hands and saying, "okay, so some of the time I sure don't like it, but it's technically none of my business."

That said: if you're non-disabled, or you're writing about a disability much different from your own (a physical disability when you're autistic, for example), and you want to write an escapist feel-good story featuring disabled characters: I also want to stress that "escapist themes" versus "no one's disability gets cured ever" is very much a false binary. You can have both.

I've never written a "curing a disability" story. But I've both written and enjoyed some extremely escapist, unashamedly hopeful stories revolving around disabled characters — and it's all about accommodation.

A story of any genre where society is more accepting of — and willing to collectively help care for — chronic illnesses and chronic pain? That's escapist, and if it's something that characters once fought tooth and nail for, it's pretty damn cathartic. A fantasy or sci-fi story where medicines are still required to treat a condition, but the medicines are more accessible, more effective, et cetera, may also be escapist depending on the context.

Fantasy service animals, high-tech service robots, magical or indistinguishable-from-magic mobility devices? They're all possibly escapist too. (Just note that a lot of disabled people may still maintain a personal preference for seeing the "real world" versions, and that's that's also perfectly reasonable. Remember that the gripe with the original trope has a lot to do with a lack of variety in representation, justified by arbitrary rules about how fantasy/sci-fi "should" look, and the goal should be not to replicate that.)

So, in conclusion: if you find yourself writing a disabled character, and want to give them a happy ending, I urge you not to jump to "their disability is cured now" without at least thinking through the alternatives. Do your research regardless, and accept that disabled people will likely have a wide range of opinions on whatever you decide to go with — but accept that disabilities themselves are varied, and should not inherently have to consign either characters or real human beings to tragic lives by their mere existence.

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross guild idea-

Devil Fruits were named as such because of the story of being crafted by the Sea Devil. But that story is only partially true. They were created by the Sea herself AGAINST the devil. His powers were stripped and warped and cursed into Fruits to avoid Him ever regaining the powers. He dwells in a place deeper than even the deepest of trenches, hidden below the Sea itself.

Devil Fruits grant their users miraculous abilities, but the Sea hates them - She fears them, She blessed them. They are heralds of Her will and as such, All Of Them have a longing for the blue waves. The reason they cannot swim is because She refuses to allow them to reach the entry way to where He is hidden and sealed away - no way to risk Him being revived or awakened.

Since the fruits were made by taking the abilities and powers of an ACTUAL demon/devil, they have some... side effects.

Paramecias are affected in a PHYSICAL manner.

Logias are affected in a MOLECULAR manner.

Zoans are affected in a GENETIC manner.

As a result, depending on the type of devil fruit, the users will have a sort of side effect depending on their fruit. This is where the stories of monsters and such came from.

Zoans often have cycles where they NEED to change, humanity bleeding into their animal form, animalistic instincts bleeding into their human side, but they are required to change regularly. Typically it can be equated to lunar cycles (hence: werewolves).

Logias have become one with their element. They need to utilize it often, and most do so in a creationist way, or manipulate existing material. They can even, with practice, make little "puppets" out of their element. (Hence: witches and golums)

Paramecias have been changed physically in a way different from the other two. There is no element to shape or craft, no forms to change, so they feed. It is smth physical to ingest or consume to align with their own abilities. Cravings can vary, but often it is blood or energy. (Hence: Vampires)

Mihawk is distantly aware of Devil Fruits, but not of the secondary requirements for them.

Crocodile uses his Sand often and without much consideration, never making more than is needed, blending his needs with his wants rather seamlessly.

Both have met Devil Fruit users before, have met Paramecia type users as well, have worked with them or above them. They've met people who feed on energies before.

Buggy does not.

So in addition to trying to balance the Guild, the business, the crews and his life, Buggy must also keep his need to drink blood from his lieutenants.

This is made especially hard when an attack from the Navy hits their medical tents, destroying supplies, bandages, medicines... and their blood bank.

Oooooo this is really interesting!

Now I'm curious and wants to know about Luffy's devil fruit, because it was stated that it was a Paramecia until Wano, would Luffy be acting like the Paramecia's until Wano or not? Anyway, going back to Buggy and the Cross Guild, with Buggy's blood drinking.

What will Crocodile and Mihawk's reaction, Buggy would have told his other lieutenants (I believe that's what Alvida, Galdino, Cabaji, and Mohji are as well, just lower in status) I want to know more, I would definitely read a fic about this

[khunyuki]

I'm very love your stories about Kaiju no 8 and I have an idea that I wonder if you could do it. English isn't my first language so I hope you could forgive me if some words I write go wrong. Imagine Kagami go on a misson with Gen and Soshiro and she's got attack by a Honju and got in a serious injured that make her almost lost her life and fall into a comatose for a few months I think, and their react about that situation. I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thank you for loving my stories!!! Also, your English is fine hehe

To be honest, your idea is actually what I planned for the main story of my series. If you've read the manga, it will take place in the second wave arc, where more numbered kaijus got introduced from 11-15! I will give you a slight spoiler for what I had in mind!

Now I am actually planning on creating a kaiju no. 16 specifically made to combat Kagami! If you've read my post OC: Uzui Kagami, it's stated there that she's inspired by Uzui Tengen from Kimetsu no Yaiba thus she knows of Total Concentration Breathing and is immune to most poisons. So to combat her, the kaiju will be inspired by Gyuutaro that works with poisons and sickle (might change the weapon but it's essentially like this)

This is just a summary for my future work which will answer your question but it goes like this...

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

Kagami is a strong woman who became a platoon leader for her skills and mostly due to her hard work. Being surrounded by people who underestimate her and kept on calling her weak has impacted the way she thinks of herself, hence she doesn't believe she's strong nor had the talent as it took an even longer time for her to be promoted. Kagami can definitely survive a honju attack as she can neutralize kaijus no matter the size with her special weapon.

To be seriously injured, a tough opponent is needed which is kaiju no. 16 who can match evenly with her, maybe even stronger. It would be a battle of endurance between them as poison immunity doesn't mean it combats all poisons. (This is heavily inspired by Uzui vs Gyuutaro okay!)

Anyways, I won't say much as it would be a major spoiler but to give you an answer, her injuries are indeed severe. Her right lung has been punctured making it hard to breathe and use TCB so she had to rely on her suit. The small and big wounds on her body contains poison which is hard to combat making her almost die (like really die). Not even medicines are working because her body is also immune to it. Medicines and poisons are two sides of the same coin.

After declaring her critical condition, Soshiro tries incredibly hard to get to her despite his own injuries. Their locations are distant to each other so he would really need help even if he overuse his suit to get there. He begged, begged for her not to sleep and to wait for him to come. She's already saying her goodbyes as all she thinks about in her last moments was him. She's sorry for she can't wait for him and told him she loves him. Soshiro is definitely ooc for he openly begs and cries for her, breaking the hearts of those listening to their convo.

Gen is also one of them. He's already accepted the fact that he'll never have a place on her heart. Especially as she's never really mentioned him during her last words. As he's the one closest to her, he was the one that took her in his arms and hurried to the base where she would get treatment faster and better than the medic on field. By then, her pulse is almost non-existent and she's getting colder by the second. He also wanted to cry and beg for her not to die but he shut his feelings up.

For miraculous reasons, she's saved but in a coma. She doesn't hear any words they're saying as she's occupied by her dream. Soshiro doesn't want to leave her side even after they defeated kaiju no. 9. For the first few days, he'd cry and not leave her side. No amount of persuasion can get him to leave. Not from his captain, his comrades, his family nor hers. It was only Narumi Gen who got to get him away from there and get him back on track.

Ever since then, he'd visit her everyday after his work that he's practically lived there now. Most medical staff told him that it might be impossible for her to wake up but none of them listens nor believes it. Soshiro has faith that Kagami will wake up for him and their promise.

For the first few days, Gen also didn't want to leave her side but gave way to Soshiro who was more broken than him. He kept most of his feelings to himself despite being crushed as well. The only time he cried was when he confronted Soshiro that make him come to his senses. Amongst all the people, he's the most in denial as he speaks to her everyday like she's just sleeping. He'd actually be the most delusional aside from Soshiro with her coma.

As in all, Gen's more or less accepted everything. The question is...

Will Kagami lose her memories or not once she wakes up? HAHAHAHA

Memory loss is not an issue but Gen can definitely try!

I'll tag you once I've made the main story okay😁🤞

[yikimiki]

I feel like requesting for some CEO erwin who traps reader?

The how, the when, iss all on you

Took me a while to think about the concept of “trapping” here — so I basically went in every possible direction known to man

⚠️ warnings: toxic/dark content!!, vague smut, erwin is very narcissistic and sadistic, CEO!Erwin x MedStudent!Reader, 20 year age gap (25 and 45), manipulation, abusive relationship (emotional, psychological, financial), mentions of pregnancy and baby trapping

—

Erwin’s victory started with a small suggestion — something so bland and unimportant that you didn’t even pay attention to it, but now you deeply wish you could take back. “Why don’t you spend some time away from school? Take less classes. You can stay with me, darling, live a little.”

It was spoken over a glass of wine, in between silly giggles and stupid jokes, lost in the warmth of the candle lights and the dinner in front of you. You and Erwin had been going strong for some time then, almost seven months together, and you had no reason to suspect ill will. So you said yes.

The change was actually very kind to your mental health and, even if you were a semester away from graduating, you decided to step back. Erwin asked you to move in with him, into his beautiful penthouse facing the bay, and you accepted. He suggested that you take the entire rest of the year of to travel with him, and you did. And, when you come back, your education has practically vanished from the forefront of your mind.

You have the intention of coming back to med school, and you tell him so thousands of time — which Erwin politely agrees with. But, at the same time, it is like he always has this great new opportunity for you that stands in the way. “Why don’t we move? You can decorate however you want, darling, I’ll just pay,” or maybe, “Don’t you think going out with your friends has been a little draining? Why don’t we stay together more often, just the two of us?”

To make things worse, Erwin works all the time. He leaves you alone in this humongous, empty, pseudo-modernist house that you can’t stand, doing things you can’t stand — all day long, every day. You clean, you get everything in order, you watch stupid TV shows and you put some pre cooked meal in the oven a little before he comes come. You hate being a housewife, you miss your freedom, your intellectual pursuits in medicine. And, most of all, you miss doing something else.

“I think I’m going back to school,” you say one night over dinner. “I already submitted my information. Just waiting for them to get back to me.”

Erwin places his knife down. And, just like that, it’s like your previous years together never existed.

“To do what, get more debt? Like I’m not paying enough?” He asks — cold, calculated. The room feels like it’s tilting a little. “Do you know how much I spend on you? How much I spent on this house, on everything you bought, and now you want me to just accept another load of cash just… out of my wallet?”

“I’m… I’m not asking you to pay for anything,” it’s all you can say.

He sneers. “Oh, you never ask. But I always do.” Erwin leans back again the chair. “Besides, it’s not like you have the money anyways. So let’s not kid ourselves here — you know I work hard, extra fucking hard, to make you happy. So what is it? Am I not making you happy?”

You blink, not recognizing the man before you anymore. “You make me happy, Erwin. But I need more than this. I miss my life, my friends…”

“Oh, so I’m not enough, is that it?” He gives you this wicked smile that has your stomach clenching. Erwin sighs, disappointed, and gets up from the table. “Let’s do it like this: I’ll leave you alone tonight so you can think about what is it that you want—“

“Wait, no that’s not…”

“—And, tomorrow, when I come back, we can talk better about it,” he finishes. “If you want to go to med school, we can figure it out.”

The night passes in a blur of tears and cries, confused thoughts coming and going in your head. All you can think is that you were raised better than this — better than to lower your expectations for someone else, better than to let someone else dictate your future. But, at the same time, you’re so hurt. Erwin has been your everything for so long now that you don’t even know what you’ll do without him. You don’t have a job, you’re away from family and friends, and you wouldn’t even know where to start he were to kick you out. He is everything you have.

So, next morning, when he shows up with a bouquet at your door, you forgive him. And you swallow your pride and tell him you can wait another year or so to get on your feet.

Erwin seems blissful, and even creates a job at his company for you to make your own money… which he pockets, to take better care of it — because “you don’t know how to invest”. He loves seeing you around every day at work, and you like it too, but you can’t help to feel a little claustrophobic at the way your life has turned into a pendulum between your house and your work. And Erwin. Erwin is always there.

You get tired of suggesting dates with him. Erwin has turned every single comment of yours into an episode of self flagellation — he isn’t good enough, you don’t love him, there’s someone else, you don’t want to be with him. And so you retreat, afraid of more conflict, and let things accumulate.

Erwin’s victory concludes one autumn night, before you even realize there was a game being played. He kisses you like the world is about to end, worships your body like a temple and, at the last minute, suggests that you change just one last thing for him: “what do you think about not taking the pill anymore?”

You hesitate this time, but accept superficially. You keep taking it until it’s over, and you realize that there isn’t a way for you to buy more of it without Erwin realizing it — it’s his card, and he doesn’t give you any extra money. He takes you to and from work. There’s no free time.

So you pray that it won’t happen. For three months after your pause your period doesn’t come, then it resumes, thin and painful, then strong. Erwin fills you up with cum every night, more often than before, because there’s a mission now, there’s a plan in his mind. And you are afraid to say anything else, afraid to sadden him or make him mad, because you feel like without him, you’re nothing. Without him, you don’t even know how you are.

“It’s positive? Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin walks into the living room one day, test in hand. You had thrown it in the trash earlier.

You force a smile, but there are tears in your eyes. “I wanted to make a surprise,” you lie. “Are you happy?”

Erwin smiles. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

[hellaversity]

It really says something that the Helluva Boss fandom is willing to excuse every evil action Stella does and every evil thing she says, especially her abuse towards Stolas and begging for her to have sympathetic traits, yet not once have I ever seen an HB fan desperately wishing for Crimson or Mammon to be portrayed more sympathetically than they are in the show and call it bad writing when they don't show any redeeming qualities. The fandom just accepts the fact that those guys are pure evil without batting an eye. Nobody asks why they're the way they are. But Stella? Nope, there MUST be a sympathetic reason for her being an abusive bitch to Stolas because it's apparently "unrealistic" for a woman to abuse her husband out of spite never mind the fact that those kinds of women actually exist in real life.

These images pretty much speak for themselves.

Crimson, Striker, Mammon, Andrealphus and Valentino are no less two-dimensionally evil than Stella is. What reason did Crimson have to murder his own wife and make his son experience it? Just to traumatize him? The show never really says why he does it, he just does it so the audience can have a reason to hate him. What reason does Striker have to help Stella try to kill Stolas? None, as far as we know. What is there to Mammon's character other than abusing Fizzarolli and being a greedy asshole in general? Why does Andrealphus flirt with his own sister and participate in her scheme to have Stolas murdered by Striker? Because reasons. Why is Valentino a rapist who takes advantage of Angel Dust and sexually abuses him? Just because he can. What makes Stella any different from these guys other than being female?

Fans are just asking for her to be more sympathetic because she's a woman and they can't accept the fact that women are capable of abuse without trying to justify it. The whole "behind every bad bitch is a man who made her that way" bullshit. People who see a woman beating her husband in public and automatically assume he did something to deserve it even if they have no evidence or context for what actually happened. Even though Stella has been treating Stolas like shit before he cheated on her, and he likely wouldn't be sleeping with Blitzø if she wasn't so horrible to him in the first place. He never even puts his hands on her and allowed her to abuse him so that Octavia could live and grow up with normal parents. (As normal as Stella and Stolas could possibly get with each other, anyway.)

Stella made fun of Stolas for not participating in sex with her and laughed about it while he was standing 2 feet away from her, and knew he was there. Whether or not she raped him to produce Octavia is a discussion for another day. If anything, Stolas cheating on her was revenge for treating him like garbage for so many years. She humiliated and embarassed him in public before getting a taste of her own medicine when Stolas does the same to her in return. She wouldn't even let him divorce her because she enjoys being mean to him. I wouldn't mind if Stella was given more charaterization outside of "abusive wife" but honestly? I don't really care if she's given sympathy or not. I don't want to sympathize with her. If Valentino isn't gonna change his ways any time soon, I have no reason to believe that Stella can. FFS Stella apologists make me mad. Even if you type in the "anti stella" tag on tumblr there are more posts defending and excusing her actions than those actually opposing her and saying "uh, no, she's just a cruel bitch" meanwhile if you type "anti Stolas" that's exactly what you're gonna get, pretty much exclusively.

Goes to show how hyper-sensitive tumblrinas are over female characters rightfully being portrayed as in the wrong when they fucking are.

[roseapprentice]

Look At It, It's Got Depression

Content Warnings: depression, ed, suicidal reasoning, ideas that could prod you toward fascism or the murder-y kind of socialism if you aren't thinking critically

I feel steadily more sure that depression evolved as a strategy to cope with times of famine & plague.

Source: I have depression and I've thought about this too much

Hear me out: What caused most premature deaths for most of history? Infectious disease. When did infections kill the most people? While we were starvation-weak.

We think of evolution as a process that refines survival skills, and that's mostly right. But the drive of natural selection is more precisely, "Make sure something with similar genes exists in the future." And our standard for similarity can get wonky.

Humans' top priority is usually offspring, and next up is a messy mashup of ourselves and whichever other humans we know and like best.

So imagine we're a group of early humans, trying to keep our loved ones alive in hungry plague times. What strategies will help? Eat rarely to keep food available. Scarf down calorie-dense food before it spoils, especially if there's a lot or there's no one around to share with. Be lethargic & pessimistic about adventures to conserve calories.

If we feel extra bad, shun the people we love for their protection. Distrust the outgroup because they're here to either spread disease or take our food. Reconcile ourselves to thoughts of death in case wandering off to die with our contagion/empty stomach becomes the best shot at survival for our friends.

What cues could our bodies rely on to trigger this response? Lack of plant life in our surroundings. Worrying mainly about how to manage limited resources. Lack of exercise because there's no food to hunt & gather. Shortage of contact with other humans because the ones that rely on us most are already dead or deathly ill.

If you're a human living in the 21st century, these cues are probably sounding awfully familiar.

Of course the strategies are useless now. Advances like motor equipment & modern fertilizer turned starvation into a purely political phenomenon; quietly fading away doesn't help your people survive politicial oppression. Cross-cultural cooperation gets more feasible and necessary with just about every new technology. Physical isolation can still block disease sometimes, but a lack of social support does the opposite. It's now possible to isolate with tools & careful timing instead of instinctive exile; and anyway medicine & sanitation have made that need a lot rarer.

If I'm right about the cause, modern human life contains a wild excess of depression triggers and a stark lack of uses for depression. It's an outmoded strategy with a stuck "on" button.

I've never seen scientific literature bring up this hypothesis (though it has to be out there somewhere). But here's why I want to tell people about my weird pet theory despite my having no research behind it:

In the worst part of my depression, I came across a post that helped me hugely. It said, "Depression is when your body wants to die but your heart wants to live."

I didn't feel at all like my heart wanted to live, but the words hit so hard that I started to wonder if it was true somewhere deep down under all the numb misery.

Any moments when I did want to live just fed directly into my desire to die; the wanting hurt so much that making it stop felt like the ultimate priority. The force of my survival instinct was twisting back on itself as if my brain was caught in some weird paper finger trap of death.

This illness was vast and insidious and frustrating and pointless.

But if depression is an adaptive trait, then my experience makes sense. My body is intermittently trying to incapacitate, starve, or kill me in order to protect the people I love. (In some cases that includes incapacitating/starving me short-term to provide for my long-term survival.)

That's a depression I can accept and outmaneuver.

I can say, "Yes, I want to protect us/them too! These people are my heart, and I want my heart to live. Thank you for also wanting that. But your methods stink."

Then I can use all possible cunning to remind my body that my presence is a blessing to my loved ones, that adventures can yeild satisfying rewards, and that there is more than enough food around for all of us to thrive if only some jerks weren't holding it hostage.

When I've laid out this idea in the past to other people with depression, they tend to eventually find it intuitive and empowering in a similar way. (Or else they start humoring me 😛)

So here's me offering it up to the internet in general to see what y'all make of it.

Final note: for the gazillionth time I'm linking to the interactive self-care website, You Feel Like Shit. I find it's an effective tool for precisely resisting this intricate self-sabatage contingency that's been stupidly built into my stupidly overcomplicated brain by stupid evolution.

(At least I think that's what happened)

[soupandspoonies]

So a little fact about me is I am pretty much an exact carbon copy of my mum, both look and personality wise. Her and I have always been very close and she has been one of my strongest rocks since I have gotten sick.

While she can never understand how life is for me, she sure as hell tries. I am so incredibly lucky to have a person like her in my life.

In honour of me loving my mum, I found myself writing a small piece that I also wanted to share on here. If y'all have a mum you love, maybe show her this or maybe don't. I don't actually know how good it is but I'm gonna share anyways. Enjoy :)

A mother wishes upon a star.

She wishes for a child. Boy or girl, she is not particular, she simply wishes them to be healthy. What reason do the heavens have to not comply?

So, they send down that very star.

It falls to the earth, burning up in the atmosphere, but cooling once it reaches the mother’s outstretched hands. She holds her star close to her chest and rocks them. The child does not cry but carries a sorrowful look in their tiny brow.

The mother gives her child a name, and then takes her baby home. She clothes them, feeds them, and holds them close to her chest – resting calmly above her heart.

Now the child cries.

They cry for the sky they were cast from, for the comfort of their siblings shining above. The mother tries with all of her might to soothe her child. The child only rests calmly as they curl up near her heartbeat.

Time passes. The young star no longer requires the unending comfort of their mother – settling for the more subtle moments between them. The child knows little of the world, but they know they are loved. Locked in their memories, they hear the thrumming of space around them. They have long since abandoned the heavens, but the comfort of the hum stays with them in their mother’s heart. The mother worries for her child. What will she do when the night sky orders its kin’s return?

So, the mother holds her child, perhaps for longer than the growing star would like. She gives them the best life she can offer. Her little star laughs, they cry, they play in the dirt, and track mud through their home. The mother cares not for her star’s little follies – they are but a child, someday they will learn of the world and its rules.

Until then, she holds her child close. She brushes their hair, takes them on adventures, and rubs their back when the sorrowful look returns to their tiny brow.

She gives her star love.

More time passes and the child continues to grow. Soon however, the little star begins feeling the pains of existing outside of their first home. The sky calls for them, but on earth they have known love. The star does not wish to return to the heavens, and for that the star is punished.

The mother watches as her star changes. They fall ill over and over. The little star, who perhaps is no longer so little, begins to dim a little. Her child still knows little of the world, but they do know pain. It plagues them. It hinders their laugh; they no longer track mud through the home for they cannot leave it.

Despite it all, the star still wishes to remain on the ground. In the comfort of the home they have known for all of their waking memories. Perhaps they hear the heavens call for them in their dreams. But for all the heavens call, they can no longer replace the sound of the mother’s heartbeat in her child’s mind.

The mother may have wished for a healthy child, but she loves the one she received all the same. As the child cannot imagine living without the mother, the mother cannot live without her child.

She wishes she could love her star’s pain away, all the while knowing her love is no miracle medicine. Even so, her star, her beloved child grins through the pain. They may no longer run as if they are trying to shoot through the sky and climb trees as if trying to reach the heavens once more. But they choose to live in different ways. The star learns what they can of the world. They explore the arts and bury themselves in music.

The star knows quite a bit of the world now, but above all they know love.

When the night sky calls for them, they grit their teeth through the pain and think of what ties them to the earth.

They were destined not for the sky, but for their mothers’ arms.

[frogspawned]

this is such incredibly poor reasoning. biden is actively alienating his own party, you know, the thing he needs to have behind him to win, the people who want him to win this fucked up binary of bad options, to appeal to people who absolutely will not vote for him. who cares if they are stirred up! they don't like him anyways! they were never going to be swayed to the left, particularly in the current extremely polarized political climate in the united states. you're alienating your base for ZERO return. why are mainstream democrats always pulling this same tired routine? it has NEVER worked! you're just cutting away your own support, like some idiot sawing at his own rope while dangling over a cliff, because some of the other guy's might slip loose (spoiler they won't).

if trump wants to be the most pro-israel president in history, why are you competing with him for it? let him fucking die on that hill. your actual voters, your staff, the whole fucking world world are all BEGGING you to get off the hill.

"my opponent wants to wear the shit crown, but gosh, his followers -- who hate me viscerally and will never support me under any circumstances -- won't like it if i don't fight for the shit crown. oh well! guess i better wear it first!"

i'm already holding my fucking nose knowing i'm going to have to vote for this joke, because the alternative is the the same but worse! at least i can try to shame biden, and pressure him! we've moved the needle incrementally, and the momentum is building. too slow, but it is. the us abstained for the last UN vote for ceasefire. which is not enough, laughably paltry by any stretch, but at least it's creeping in the right direction. trump's going to continue to fund israel's war machine gleefully, with no hold's barred, if not ramp it up. he will actively enjoy any protest as red meat for his followers. because then he can whinge and posture and puff himself up. biden has an emotional attachment to the idea of israel? who gives a shit joe! maybe one should care more about the reality than the idea, and the reality is undeniable at this point. it's standing stark and naked before the world.

the reality is the united states has poured BILLIONS into a genocide machine who openly celebrates ethnic cleansing. idf soldiers put up selfies and funny tiktoks, and loot the homes of the palestinians they've slaughtered for the crime of existing on land they want. idf snipers target aid workers and doctors and children. they block food and medicine. they blow up trucks of flour. this is not speculation -- even if someone doesn't believe what their own eyes can see, every day, of the horrors pouring out of palestine, then take israel's word for it. they're proud of what their doing. they celebrate it. they snipe old women and beat old men to death, use children as bait for ambulance drivers, tear down homes and temples and mosques and centuries old olive groves then post it for their friends and family to see. they actively corroborate their own war crimes on tiktok.

but because it's easy, because the us has always done it, because it makes money for contractors and makes evangelicals giddy about the apocalypse, we'll just continue to pour anti tank rounds into their hands, missiles, drones, whatever tools they need to """mow the grass"""" in gaza. the military industrial complex has the us in an inescapable chokehold, in every facet of our lives, and god forbid we stop throwing lives and money and blood down the endless money hole. they might stop bombing people if we stop sending them bombs! and then how will israel sell that prime beach front property?

and in a decade we'll wring our hands and coo about what a tragedy it was, how sad, how inevitable, and throw up a fucking memorial in some park so we'll never forget.

[curioussubjects]

in which i revisit black market and it's worse somehow

for reasons even i find elusive, i read the transcript for rdm's podcast episode on "black market" (i know i know), but i really do appreciate the spirit behind this particular pod episode. i just. it's just. y'all....you cannot make this stuff up:

"there is no socioeconomic structure beyond the Rag Tag Fleet. There's no government. There's no social system. There's no nothing. Other than these particular ships. Isn't everything black market? Isn't everything to be bartered?" there's so much going on here. like. what do you mean there's no government or social system. the fleet literally has an executive and legislative branch. the executive literally has an enforcement arm through the military. ron please. 😭😭 the idea there's no social system is also bizarre when there's no indication the colonial social system wasn't reproduced down to caprican hegemony. also love the implication that the presence of a barter system nearly if not completely equates to the existence of a black market. that's. that-. hm. what i do think is interesting here though is that a black market existing isn't actually, imo, a foregone conclusion. that it exists at all suggests: 1. there seems to be no enforcement of the rule of law, 2. no regulation of trade, and 3. the government isn't adequately meeting the needs of the fleet with supply distribution.

sometimes i remember rdm has a polisci degree and i want to jump into a river.

but anyway, some of this stuff is discussed in the writer's room and all i can think about is how in the world did anybody think a topic this huge could fit into one standard episode of television. a lot of the bulk could be done in one episode, but you'd be returning to this as subplots and background commentary in future episodes.

"I was really disappointed in the show and myself and what we had done and didn't feel like the episode really had anything going for it." yeah man no fucking shit. you can't build a story out of vibes alone 😭

"You never quite get at the satisfaction of truly having gone through a plot that you had no idea where it was gonna go and you're shocked where it ended up. And you're not really sitting back and going, "My God. Lee Adama is nothing like I thought he was." It just doesn't- it falls in between. It's classically standing on the two chairs and falling in between both of them." the problem you're having is that you never connect what's going on with the black market plot with what's going on with lee. there's no line there beyond right place right time. clearly there's an ethical issue here in that lee is complicit with the black market. THAT'S what's interesting. our ethical center character, who values justice and the law is complicit in something that is happening outside of legal purview and also harms and exploits people. and then culminates with lee doing some light extrajudicial killing. but we never sit with any of it. much less see it play out in future episodes.

which is why this following bit kills me : "Tigh and Ellen and Ellen's involvement in the black market and she's getting things for Tigh, who is a senior officer in Galactica. There's a whiff of corruption here and what does it mean? We're not gonna- we don't take the easy way out. Tigh isn't shocked at what his wife is doing and promises never to do it again. He understands what she's doing. There is an implication that, "Who knows what else Ellen Tigh is doing with Commander Fisk?" I'm not sure that's a picture I want in my mind, but, ok. And Lee is also a bit dirty in this scene. Lee is also engaged in things that are probably not that above-board. There's an implication that Lee helped get the medicine for the little girl and probably went outside official channels. And it's a personal, emotional, confrontation with people with conflicted and conflicting motivations." THAT'S THE EPISODE! RIGHT THERE! YOU HAD IT!

the episode is about ethics, a government failing its people, and complacency. you want an episode of television without having to make a mini arc out of it? those are your themes.

then there's the clusterfuck that is the gianne/shevon/dee portion of the episode, which makes no gd sense AND HERE'S WHY LMAO: "It's not really getting to a place where we're explaining, or at least hinting, or making you think about what is the nature of the relationship between Dualla and Lee. Why is Lee interested in her and vice versa? What does it mean to him as a character? We had conversations in the writers' room that dealt with things like, "Well, Lee's got the girl he left behind on Caprica, he's seeing the prostitute, and then there's Dualla." So there's the classic- there's three women in Lee's life. One dead, two not. What does Dualla represent in that? What is- what is Dualla to Lee in juxtaposition to the dead woman and to the hooker with the little girl? Is she the hope? Is she the future? Is she something more realistic? Is the hooker the hope? There's a lot of ways you can just sit and talk about it endlessly about what it all represents, and it was all fascinating conversation. Unfortunately it just doesn't quite sync-in to what we have. You don't ever- you never quite get to a place where you're rooting for Lee and Dualla. I think that's might be the central problem with it. You're never quite rooting for her."

truly mysterious why this doesn't work rdm. boggles the mind.

he offers no explanation as to why it doesn't work, btw, it's all just "???"

we're not rooting for dee because lee doesn't actually want her. just like he didn't actually want gianne.

meanwhile shevon is the epitome of lee playing it safe. he's obviously lonely and in need of talking to someone, and having emotional and physical intimacy. he wants it without the possibility of being too vulnerable or hurting someone else when he runs. through shevon we understand some of the reasons why lee left gianne. through his relationship with shevon and gianne, we can begin to see what might underlie lee's budding relationship with dee.

and then perhaps we remember lee's behavior during the miniseries. and then maybe we watch scar next and a couple more things become clear.

we're not rooting for dee because we're rooting for someone else entirely. (kara. it's kara.)

i am in the tantrum hole.

"we're playing that Zarek needs to tell Lee about Phelan and about this ship out there where you can get anything you want that's the hub or the nexus of the black market. And yet everybody else seems to know about it. It's clearly the place where all this activity is going, but somehow Lee needs to be told by Zarek that it even exists, which tends to undercut Lee's role as an investigator and the procedural aspect starts to feel a bit weak because you feel like he should've- Lee should've known all that on his own and again, it's an element that doesn't work"

OR it could be something about complacency, a failure in governance, and how out much the Galactica is actually a bubble. very interesting concept for lee who feels disconnected after RS2.

it's not that lee's obliviousness doesn't work, it's that he has the privilege of not needing to think about it. he could even already be seeing shevon and thinking it's all above board like it was back in the colonies, not realizing there's a criminal enterprise going on that is exploiting desperate people.

what happens when lee does learn about how bad it is out there in the fleet?

that's your episode set up.

"When Lee shoots him, you should feel that he shoots him because, "Oh my God! I'm realizing that he is like Bill Duke and oh! Woah! I'm like shocked. And that's- I don't know how I feel about Lee, but I'm really surprised because he's more like Bill Duke than I thought." I don't think the show really says that. I don't think we've accomplished that mission. And that should have been the mission here, is if you're going to predicate a whole show on this concept, about this central confrontation it should pay off that idea." that should not have been the mission there omfg. lee shoots this man because he's doing fucked up shit. the shocking moment isn't that lee is like the bad guy, the shocking thing is that mr. articles of colonization did an extrajudicial killing. he executed a man without due process.

the question here is: is lee more like his father and laura roslin than he'd like to admit? if so, what is he going to do about it?

and btw, is lee like his father completely ties back to a possible reason why he runs from gianne: he saw himself marrying a woman he got pregnant, thus repeating the story of his parents. and it doesn't need to be 1:1 exactly, but there are too many similarities for his comfort. so he runs.

and another theme: lee doing what he knows is the right thing to do vs. lee doing what he thinks is the Right thing to do. and to what extent does lee hide behind duty because he's scared of going after what he wants. (and oh look at that we're back to kara)

this scene is interesting because lee does something he felt in the moment to be right (and he does it on impulse, which is another bit of tension with his character in other episodes), but he also acted against his ethical code. what are the effects of that? how does lee grapple with that? WE JUST DON'T KNOW

i am still in the tantrum hole.

"I think if I had to sum up what's wrong with this episode in my opinion, it's that this time we went for a much more tv, conventional tale and execution." narrator: that's not what was wrong with the episode. "So again it's a grab bag of things we're trying to do." narrator: that's more like it.

incredible podcast though it's like 10/10 reflection 0/10 insight. showrunner of all time this guy.

[dhaaruni]

i'm curious to hear your thoughts on the demisexual podcast

So we're talking about this article, and its corresponding podcast.

Here's my response under the cut.

I read the article and listened to the podcast and I still honestly think demisexuality is fake lmao. It doesn't make you queer or otherwise ~unique that you wait to have sex until you know and trust the person, especially as a woman where there are substantial risks to casual sex, and I don't just mean pregnancy and STIs. I said this a while ago but for the first month or so when I'm seeing a guy or going on a first date, I always let someone know, whether it's a friend or my parents, because the reality is that many men are violent, and having sex with someone you don't know puts you in a vulnerable state where it's easy to be victimized. The way I frame it to men, namely those who'd never dream of being violent to women, is that 1/4 of women are victims of sexual violence but 1/4 men are not sexually violent since most predators are serial assaulters. Does that make sense?

I totally agree with the idea that it's really cringe and even harmful that we're encouraging teenagers to construct permanent identities to temporary feelings. Plenty of young teenagers are uncomfortable about sex, and claiming that state is permanent will only mess with their minds as they grow older and more comfortable with their sexualities. If you're 14 and uncomfortable with the idea of sex, you aren't demisexual, you're just 14 lol. I think parents should validate their children's identities obviously but allowing them to define themselves on things they may not even feel in a few years is detrimental to their development.

I think that there is kind of a tie between demisexuals and incels, both male and female. There's been a lot of focus on male incels, who want to have sex with women but can't do so for a number of reasons, but I think that female incels do exist although of course, a major difference is that male incels traditionally blame women while female incels blame themselves. It's not female incels who are shooting up colleges over not getting laid, it's the Elliot Rodgers of the world. But that said, I almost feel like female incels will cling onto demisexuality or even asexuality in a way to detract from the pain of social rejection. Like, if they're demisexual or asexual, they can rationalize their not being considered sexually attractive by others as a moot point since they only feel sexually attracted to those they have emotional connections with anyways or not at all. It's kind of a coping mechanism, you know?

There's also something to be said about adults who still identify as demisexual like it begs the question: why? Why do you need a unique identity that literally means "I only have sex when I feel comfortable with my partner?" That doesn't make you unique, that makes you a normal person. I think there's something to be said where women are uncomfortable being like, sexual adults but not sexually available like it's almost as if women are conditioned to feel apologetic for not being sexually available at the beck and all of men, so they construct this whole silly identity so they have an excuse to say no so to speak.

Speaking anecdotally, I've honestly a lot of hate for being selectively sexually available like I 100% got more slander (so to speak) in college than either women that were celibate or women that were very promiscuous because I always had agency. It was my choice, and I don't mean that as a feminist statement or anything, I just was conditioned to not do anything unless I felt like it, and that carried over from not taking my medicine as a little kid and ending up in the hospital with pneumonia as a result to refusing to have sex with people in college unless I felt like it in which case I'd have sex with them 2 hours after meeting them lmao.

Sorry for rambling but I hope this was interesting to you! Let me know what you guys think as well.

[feech]

Last year around this time my mom asked me if halloween was my favorite holiday (it is) and why. My dad jokingly answered that it's the only widely celebrated holiday in the US That doesn't have Christian roots (cue conversation about Christianity adopting/stealing celebrations and traditions from other cultures) which yeah true and fair and probably a small part but my actual reasoning (at the time i was thinking about how autism affects my life and always has) was that its a time when we celebrate the weird and different and macabre we embrace the other at halloween and as someone who always felt very other it was nice to not have to work as hard to fit in because the weirdness was celebrated

Anyway I had a horrible day of pain and brain fog and began thinking about it in the similar but different lens of chronic illness or disability and wrote this little piece. The first draft was close to unintelligible due to the aforementioned brain fog but has been edited and is brought to you now by insomnia

Why do i love halloween?

Maybe its because

I could be a zombie

The way my body falls apart beneath me. no thoughts push through the fog in my head. no feelings exist but a resigned numbness as my shambling limbs fail to go through even the most basic of functions.

I could be a vampire

The way i sleep all day in an attempt to regain energy i never had to begin with and because of the blood i drink when my lips dry and crack. what does it matter if its my own?

I could be a witch

The way my medicine cabinet looks like it should belong to someone 3 or 4 times my age and how i keep trying potion after potion and pill after pill hoping something will help.

I could be a corpse

The way my skins pales and hands freeze and cheeks hollow because i cant eat and how my joints ache in protest to even the slightest movements.

I could be a werewolf

The way my body changes so quickly and so completely because of factors i cannot control. I dont recognize myself in a mirror and my abilities are miles away from what they might've been before. I can barely remember before.

I could be a ghost

The way i hover transparent barely able to interact with my surroundings. never fully there even on my best days. how i wail and moan through the night when i cant sleep because of the pain.

Maybe i love halloween because I fit in here, with all the other monsters.

Is this a poem?

A love letter?

A rant?

I dont know.

You decide.

Everyone from doctors to strangers get to judge and make decisions about my body .

You might as well have my writing too.

While we're at it,

When i die,

Take my bones.

They can be the skeleton on your front porch steps.

[abuddyforeveryseason]

This is the Buddy for February 26th. It's a Harry Potter thing. I'm a Hufflepuff.

I'll be honest, I never finished the Harry Potter series. I did start reading the last book (the deathly hallows one) but for some reason or another, I didn't finish it. I only know the end thanks to reading spoilers online.

Same thing happened with Star Wars, too - I watched the first part of Return of the Jedi at my grandparents' house one day, and didn't see the end of the story until a few years ago. One of those weird nerd things, I guess. People do think the last movie of the trilogy's the worst, anyway.

The one thing about Harry Potter people are into is the four houses aspects. It's fun to pick a house and have this sort of kinship with other people who share your choice, and to be able to tell people abut yourself through this common pop culture branding.

The four houses are kind of based on the four humors of ancient greek medicine, as popularized in obnoxious detail by Ben Johnson.

Gryffindor is Sanguine - they're sporty, brave and "good at everything" - and of course, the type of people who only exist in fiction, or in the minds of people who think real life works like fiction, and see themselves as heroes. But all attempts at mapping personalities usually has a "good guy" personality just in case.

Slytherin is Choleric - evil. Technically, bitter and angry, which does describe Draco Malfoy. And evil people in general are usually angry, right. Cholera, of course, is yellow bile. Have you ever noticed that, when you're angry, you feel heartburn? That's the bile rising. In Japan, there's even the idea that when someone is really angry, they need to throw up.

Ravenclaw is Phlegmatic - Nerds, pretty much. If all the brainiest students go to Ravenclaw, how come they don't win every house cup? Though the idea that intelligence is an innate personality trait is pretty unintelligent in itself. Phlegm, as we know, is snot. Nerds are always sniffling and complaining about allergies, right?

Hufflepuff is Melancholy - basically "the rest" of the personality group, for people who aren't strong, smart or angry enough for the other three. Melancholy is the worst of the personalities, the opposite of sanguine, having neither the intelligence of Phlegmatic nor the strength of Choleric. Melancholy is the black bile, which totally exists, and comes from the spleen. What else would the spleen do?

So, basically, Sanguine/Gryffindors are strong and smart, Choleric/Slytherins are strong and dumb, Phelgmatic/Ravenclaws are weak and smart, and Melancholy/Hufflepuffs are weak and dumb.

People choose their Hogwarts houses based on their personality, or rather, the personality they wish they had. Choosing Gryffindor means they have a hero complex, or see themselves as brave. Good thing they've never been in an actual emergency situation to see how they'd do, right? Slytherin is the edgelord house. They act like they're above simplistic morality and "know only the strong survive". Ironically, many Slytherin characters were born rich. Ravenclaws are proud of their nerdiness. That often just means reading a lot or being good at math, though. Not so much the scientific humility aspect of nerdiness. And Hufflepuffs are the ones who claim to reject the whole idea of the house system and take pride on being part of the "loser house", since it means they're refusing to put themselves in a box.

Makes sense that I'm a Hufflepuff now, right?

[mercurydarlin]

What if the reader keeps having nightmares and doesn't make Malpractice aware of it until he finds out himself? (I'm imagining like a week or so after they start)

Mistreatment In Silence

One word, yes. also, happy you enjoy my work anon.

WARNINGS: angst, nightmares,trauma, tears

Before Wilbur got his hands on you, you had a horrible home life. Your siblings treated you like absolute TRASH, Your parents never cared for you or your siblings, and you had just gotten over a loved ones death. And no one did anything to reassure you-- not like you expected anyone to though... You had never necessarily mentioned any of this to Wilbur, you only really hinted at it.

You've been having these horrible dreams lately, and they all play along in almost the same way. These dreams would start off with you in your familys home, very specifically your room. You'd hear banging on your door along with the laughter of your siblings. "Come out y/n, we just wanna play." They'd be taunting so you would come out of your room. Eventually, they'd find themselves in your room. You were in your bed, looking at them with fear in your eyes...you couldn't move a limb, You could only watch as they stepped closer to you. Once they got close enough, they'd practically abuse you. The only reason this nightmare exists is cause it actually happened.

You've had this same dream for about a whole week now, And you've tried to tell Wilbur, but your instincts just won't let you. You have this fear he'll leave you because of it, that he'll just throw you out, or maybe even kill you with some sort of medicine. The only reason you had that impression is cause thats what people did when you told them your problems, so you've just stopped telling anyone. Keeping your thoughts bottled in for years now is what your used to.But, this didn't fool Wilbur. He started to notice your mood change on day 2.

You woke up somewhere around 4:00 in the morning in tears, you had the dream again. This was the 6th time this has happened. You tried calming yourself down, taking deep breaths, and trying to distract yourself. But that didn't make it any better, you just drifted into a panic attack. You were trying to breathe over all your tears and pressure, but you just couldn't. You sat up on your bed, sobbing uncontrollably. You jumped and slowly caught your breath as you heard your door creak open. "Y/n, are you alright?" You attempted to sound normal, you tried to speak, but all that came out were more tears and stuttering. "I--I'm--F--Fine." You managed to get out, you saw your lamp light turn on. Wilbur sat on the edge of your bed as he pulled you close to him. "No, You very clearly aren't." You started to calm down in his arms, being able to breath without suddenly stopping helped a lot. "Tell me what's going on, love" he kissed your cheek lovingly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. You sniffed, "Promise you won't leave me if I say... please..." You held his hand tightly.you usually wouldn't say something like that, but it just came out. "Now why would I ever leave you? You're everything to me." He smiled at you reassuringly, you smiled back before wiping one of your tears. "It's a long story, and I'm sorry for not telling you..." You paused and took a deep breath, "I've been having these horrible nightmares--" you told him all of it, he listened carefully to you.

Once you were done explaining it all to him, you stayed silent. He cupped your chin and kissed your forehead. "I'm so sorry darling...is there anyway I could help?" Wilbur smiled at you, you looked at him with a blank expression. "Perhaps cuddles..." You said quietly, you looked up at him with a needy look. Wilbur smiled at you before pushing you hair behind your ear gently. "Of course y/n love."