#only either or

[feech-phylicia]

Last year around this time my mom asked me if halloween was my favorite holiday (it is) and why. My dad jokingly answered that it's the only widely celebrated holiday in the US That doesn't have Christian roots (cue conversation about Christianity adopting/stealing celebrations and traditions from other cultures) which yeah true and fair and probably a small part but my actual reasoning (at the time i was thinking about how autism affects my life and always has) was that its a time when we celebrate the weird and different and macabre we embrace the other at halloween and as someone who always felt very other it was nice to not have to work as hard to fit in because the weirdness was celebrated

Anyway I had a horrible day of pain and brain fog and began thinking about it in the similar but different lens of chronic illness or disability and wrote this little piece. The first draft was close to unintelligible due to the aforementioned brain fog but has been edited and is brought to you now by insomnia

Why do i love halloween?

Maybe its because

I could be a zombie

The way my body falls apart beneath me. no thoughts push through the fog in my head. no feelings exist but a resigned numbness as my shambling limbs fail to go through even the most basic of functions.

I could be a vampire

The way i sleep all day in an attempt to regain energy i never had to begin with and because of the blood i drink when my lips dry and crack. what does it matter if its my own?

I could be a witch

The way my medicine cabinet looks like it should belong to someone 3 or 4 times my age and how i keep trying potion after potion and pill after pill hoping something will help.

I could be a corpse

The way my skins pales and hands freeze and cheeks hollow because i cant eat and how my joints ache in protest to even the slightest movements.

I could be a werewolf

The way my body changes so quickly and so completely because of factors i cannot control. I dont recognize myself in a mirror and my abilities are miles away from what they might've been before. I can barely remember before.

I could be a ghost

The way i hover transparent barely able to interact with my surroundings. never fully there even on my best days. how i wail and moan through the night when i cant sleep because of the pain.

Maybe i love halloween because I fit in here, with all the other monsters.

Is this a poem?

A love letter?

A rant?

I dont know.

You decide.

Everyone from doctors to strangers get to judge and make decisions about my body .

You might as well have my writing too.

While we're at it,

When i die,

Take my bones.

They can be the skeleton on your front porch steps.

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[problemnyatic]

the steven universe hate is insane bc people are (or at least were) more upset that fictional war criminals got fictional hugs than they recognize that it singlehandedly advanced queer rep in children's media by lightyears and then straight up ate heavy retaliation for the nerve.

It does have real flaws that are worth discussing, but it also put their male protagonist in dresses and skirts and played it straight and even empowering, they aired a lesbian wedding on television, it was a genuinely queer, genuinely diverse piece of media through and through. It did a lot of real good for the real world.

But also the fictional characters caused fictional harm to other fictional characters, and didn't get an onscreen firing squad sentence. So, you know, it's basically ontologically evil in real life.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[jewfrogs]

i can’t decide if this is the single coolest girl in the world for making danger her middle name or the silliest for not seeing the raw power of “millipede danger” which is the greatest name i have ever heard

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

[nashvillethotchicken]

White People on tumblr who dont listen to rap, ignoring all the racial and historical context of why Kendrick is going against drake to just make it a fun trendy meme/ Kendrick being a hater is the same exact reason Kendrick called drake a colonizer

Edit: I actually Do Not Want resources on this post! I made this post to complain about a specific type of white person cluttering up my notifications saying that they didn't know what was going on and that they didn't care about rap and now those same white people are cluttering my notes again! Like I don't want to give white people who read my initial post the space to say it doesn't apply to them cus they watched a couple of videos. It still absolutely applies. You can have all the historical context in the world but you are still a colonizer and outsider in this space. I don't want you adding videos or anything explaining the beef because this post is not about that. There are literally hundreds of other posts explaining why this is happening and you don't need to come onto a black person's blog to ask them to do so.

[otiksimr]

Favorite genre of picture, snakes wrapped around bird beaks.

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[bisexualpercyjacksons]

pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:

[librarycards]

there is a group of people in the world who have almost starved to death and there is a group of people who haven’t (yet). as a member of the former group, I think the genocide of palestine hits different for us.

[ruporas]

and together we set out on a journey to find treasure! (id in alt)

[hyperblue]

terry: i used to make really poor choices about my life, so now I'm redeeming myself by being batman

dick, who is always five seconds away from killing himself when he has to be batman: what an... interesting way of seeing things

tim, who can not EVER be allowed to be batman: huh.

[who-is-riley]

or at least it went something like that

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[choodraws]

🌱✂️ (crop from this month's patreon piece)

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