#me: let’s focus on something else

[kexing]

tbvh i’m still here

[beanghostprincess]

Actually thinking more about Reiju's only sin being a woman and... Going into more depth, I know that logically/canonically she's smart and empathetic enough to not want to be in her brothers' place. She doesn't want to be an heir/ successor or follow the family's footsteps at all. She knows they're bad. She sees herself as such, too, unable to change/be different like Sanji was. She doesn't think she can bring her mother's kindness to this world the way Sanji does, so she sticks to what she knows, whether it is to protect Sanji too or to accept her fate.

BUT (and bear with me for a second here, I know I have been watching too much Succession lately) we also do know that during her childhood she didn't do anything to help Sanji from the abuse. She watched it happen because that was the way things went there and because she knew what would happen to her if she did. Of course, she ends up helping him escape and taking care of him but-- I'm just thinking, for a tiny little moment, about how she's actually the oldest.

She should be the heir. She should be the person everybody views Ichiji as. She should be considered the most responsible. The smartest. The strongest one. The one who should take the throne. And she doesn't even want it now, but what about back then? What about when she did have some little, tiny faith/hopes for her family and what they did? She sought approval and naively thought "my father is going to offer me the place I rightfully deserve, right?" blindly seeking acceptance like all of them did.

But no, because she might be the oldest but Ichiji is a man. She might be the strongest, the smartest, the most reliable... But she is not a man. And I believe there must have been a time when she expected her destiny to be something more, and once she realized she was just a woman in their eyes... Well, we know what happened.

I just keep finding similarities between The Vinsmokes (OP) and The Roys (Succession) and perhaps my headcanon of Reiju being similar to Shiv has gone a bit too far. But the scene where Shiv is like "This is real?" when Logan promises she'll be the CEO and he goes "This is real. Remember this. The slant of light" for it to be a lie later is something I fear could have happened with Reiju and Judge if Oda had given us more content,,,,

[ajcrowlor]

| i have questions, i have doubts

i was originally drawing something else *coughDeanbirthdayartistillhaven'tfinishedcough* and was looking for a ref for Cas but came across this screenshot and felt the immediate need to shove the colours, contrast and shapes into my mouth and. well. heavily referenced w some tracey-trace bc apparently now im trying to figure out how to draw more realistic? what is a consistent art style? ahhh!

(mr collins why is your nose so hard to draw help ???)

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[verdantglow]

Fuck it, posts my SmallEtho playlist.

Part-Time Soulmate, Full-Time Problem: A SmallEtho/Boat Boys Playlist

(Best listened to on shuffle.)

This is a kinda long playlist (28 tracks), so if you only have time for a few songs, check out: ‘Pyrokenesis’; ‘I Am Fred Astaire’; & ‘Built To Burn.’

Full track list & selected lyrics under cut.

1. Son of a Gun - Motion City Soundtrack

Have you had enough? Are you tough? Are you broken?/Hit me where it hurts, don’t just curtsey & sulk/I know I deserve every elegant word that you’re hurling at me

2. Pyrokenesis - 7chariot

When you say the things you say, they start a little spark/Ignite this small but also highly flammable heart

You’re setting me on fire, I don’t wanna fight it/You don’t need a lighter, you’re a flame/Drowning myself in water only makes it harder/Hard for me to keep myself away

3. Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way/Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

4. Violently Alive - I Hate Kate

I hate that you’re there/And I’m here/In the same room/Miles from me to you/We’re so distant/But close enough to touch

5. Tiger Teeth - Walk The Moon

Give in, give in, I want you back/One heart, one too many to stomach/Love bites so deep and we got tiger teeth

6. It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish - My Chemical Romance

Hip-hip-hooray for me, you talk to me/But would you kill me in my sleep?/Lay still like the dead/From the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves/And paint these walls in pitchfork red

7. True Romance - Motion City Soundtrack

I’m a screwup of epic proportions/A walking hand grenade/Hyper-manic, a dime store dramatic/A conduit for pain

She said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just take it off, take it off”/I said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just mess me up, mess me up”

8. Violence - blink-182

Like violence, you have me, forever and after/Like violence, you kill me, forever and after

9. I Am Fred Astaire - Taking Back Sunday

I’m under the assumption that I’m gonna be the one that’s leaving you/Tonight, oh, tonight/Well I flipped every switch that I could find on my way out/Just to upset you more/Just to keep you busy/Just to make you angry/Just because you were right

I’m stuttering through it, but I hear it/Well I-I I hear it’s good t-t-to stick to what you know

10. The Wolf - The Crane Wives

I am not a tempest/I light torches in my sleep/I have gasoline in my veins/I am always burning, burning burning

11. Crave - Waterparks

I’m cravin’ a getaway from the/Smooth talk that’s keeping me grounded/To the carpet in my room/My quiet blue tomb of you

I wish I could forget you

12. Hold Me Like A Grudge - Fall Out Boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning and I can’t keep up/Faster and faster, can’t do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem yeah/Hold me like a grudge

13. Formidable - Twenty One Pilots

You are formidable to me/‘Cause you seem to know it, where you wanna go/Yeah yeah yeah I’ll follow you/But you should know/I might be cynical towards you/But I just can’t believe that I’m for you/Yeah yeah yeah I can die with you/Just let me know

14. Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz feat Yacht Money

I ride the edge/My speed goes in the red/Hot blood, these veins/My pleasure is their pain/I love to watch the castles burn/These golden ashes turn to dirt/I’ve always liked to play with fire

15. Bulletproof Heart - My Chemical Romance

I’ve got a bulletproof heart/You’ve got a hollow point smile/Me and your runaway scars/Got photographed dream on the getaway mile/Let’s blow a hole in this town/And do our talking with a laser beam/Gunnin’ out of this place in a bullet’s embrace/Then we’ll do it again

16. The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me - Say Anything

You’re a pretty face, you should like me/I want to get used by you/‘Cause I’m full of hate, just excite me/I want to get bruised by you

17. Red - Pale Waves

Oh no baby, are we gonna make it this time?/I always take hearts that shouldn’t be mine, be mine/Slow down baby, are we gonna make it alive?/You’ve got a face that I always recognize/Always recognize

18. Kill V. Maim - Grimes

I did something bad, maybe I was wrong/Sometimes people says that I’m a big time bomb/But I’m only a man/And I do what I can

19. FUNERAL GREY - Waterparks

I said that you can call me, beep me/If you want my skin/She rolled her eyes and then she said/“I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit”

20. Shiver - Motion City Soundtrack

Shiver away, I thought the action was real/Somewhere I know that’s just the way you are/it’s hard to believe that you’re a part of me/And I can’t believe when you carry on and on

21. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine

My black eye casts no shadow/Your red eye sees nothing/Your slaps don’t stick, your kicks don’t hit/So we remain the same/Love sticks, sweat drips/Break the lock if it don’t fit/A kick to the teeth is good for some/A kiss with a fist is better than none

22. Mr. Brightside- The Killers

It started out with a kiss/How did it end up like this/It was only a kiss/It was only a kiss

23. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days/It’s only just a crush, it’ll go away/It’s just like all the others, it’ll go away/Or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know/You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

24. Can You Feel My Heart (Remix) - Bring Me The Horizon, Jeris Johnson

I’m scared to get close/And I hate being alone/I long for that feeling to not feel at all

Holding on, bring me close, feel my heart/Can you feel my heart?

25. Built To Burn - Shaffer James

We’ll build a world/And burn it down/Everything is pretty/When we burn it to the ground

26. Hatef—k - The Bravery

There will be no tenderness, no tenderness/I will show no mercy for you/You had no mercy for me/The only thing that I ask/Love me mercilessly

27. Stupid For You - Waterparks

You’re playing ring around my head/I’ll wear you like a halo/You’re a symphony/I’m just a sour note/I’ll take what I can get/The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you/And everybody wants you

28. My Obsession - Pale Waves

I’m stood still, I can barely breathe/You’re such a mess but you’re always beautiful to me/Run your fingers across my mouth/I’m not prepared to stay here without you

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[goldenpinof]

.

[walker-lister]

I just have to remind myself sometimes that no matter what anyone else says, the way a piece of media makes me feel and the positive impact it has had on my queer identity is valid, and that tearing myself apart thinking I have to defend it or questioning my own place within queer communities is not at all important when compared to the almost tangible sense of 'rightness' that piece of media helped me to feel about myself.

[krispyjb]

Ah fuck I’m thinking about Water 7/Enies Lobby arc again

Whoops I wrote an essay in the tags

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Full sketchbook page of younger Constant doodles. I am rotating this OC like never before

[carnivorouswillgraham]

there's something incredibly healing about this

[torchickentacos]

Me: "I should take one more art class for my final elective credit, it'll force me to experiment with new mediums and techniques that I wouldn't otherwise try."

Me when I then proceed to have to experiment with new mediums and techniques that I wouldn't otherwise try:

[waterloggedtomorrow]

A lot of posts have been spilled abt being taught to write a 5-paragraph essay, but Personally I think the biggest failure of My academic writing education was that no one sat me down + told me to use headings. So much hullabaloo about how to Structure an Introduction or whatever: you can just write "introduction" at the top + write your introduction + then when you want to move onto something else, you write "something else" and bold it and everyone knows you've moved on.

[duckduckngoose]

Can my dnd character PLEASE stop evading every attempt at me trying to either develop her backstory or just anything

[finelythreadedsky]

i'm fundamentally opposed to book titles in translations of ancient epics ('beguilement on mount ida,' 'a hero's son awakens,' 'the olive tree bed,' 'camilla's finest hour,' 'juno served by a fury') bc it just seems like too much to me to presume you know what single thing the book is really about, but christopher logue is allowed to do it

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 14

"Diamond on a Landmine” by Billy Talent