#maybe life isn’t all bad

[b4rfbrain]

day n night

[england-nt]

Maddison coming to spurs? What the hell??

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

The Pony and Johnny thoughts are back. And I’m thinking about how much they longed for a life together.

A life where they’d be free from everything that held them down. A life where their worries aren’t about money, or family, or whether or not they’re gonna get jumped on their way home. No, they worries would be about what color flowers would bloom on their plant, their worries would be about who would change the sheets on the bed next. They could have everything they wanted, and they could have it together. They would be free from their town that does nothing but hold them down.

Thinking about how they got some of it. They got out, but their fears become worse. Their fears became thoughts of whether or not the police would find them, whether or not they’d be able to ever go home again, and whether or not they’d ever be ok again. And the worst part is that those fears came true.

Pony’s worst case scenario came true. Because Pony went home and went back to his family and their group of friends, but he did it alone. Johnny was in a hospital until he died. He didn’t get to go back and get the hugs flog reassurance from the gang. He didn’t get to go back to Darry’s cooking and watching Pony read. He goes back to Tulsa to see only the cruel white of a hospital room and feel the utter lack of homeliness magnified. Pony goes back and faces a loss that he thinks he’ll never recover from.

But he can, maybe not fully, but he can move forward and keep living. He gets a chance at their dream and he’d do anything to increase that chance. Because damnit, he has to achieve it. For Johnny. BecauseJohnny doesn’t get his dream. Not then, not ever. Because he is destined to die young. Pony even says that he was too damn good for growing old. But was he too good for growing old? Or was he too good for growing old in their small, stuck, and damned town?

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[jesse-pinko]

Lowkey depressing how many Breaking Bad aus I see that are just like “what if this character -hear me out- was nice to Jesse 😱😭” bc so few characters are actually nice to Jesse in canon and he was on the whole treated so inhumanly that we as an audience are almost as starved as he was to see him forge a tangible human connection that isn’t cut tragically short

[pinkfey]

[theloveinc]

has anybody ever thought about an MIA/KIA moment to a coming home scene …

[arolesbianism]

Welcome to the “they’re just like me fr (derogatory)” club featuring no color because I would rather die than draw Sif with color

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[nice-bright-colors]

Stuck between a rock…

…and a hard place.

Warning: Ranting to follow.

Nothing has been going my way this year. It has taken far too long to get started on things, and I still need to wait another month. It’s been 14 months since this work was first initialized.

I’m tired of waiting.

I’ve also come to the realization that I’m rarely happy, unless I’m working, or alone.

Attempting to plan something for us to do requires: a) food she can eat, b) bathrooms that aren’t “outdoorsy”, c) relative easy conditions, d) more food because god forbid she goes 3-1/2 hours without eating, e) beers that aren’t anywhere near the hoppy side, f) don’t get me started on hard seltzer or cider, g) air conditioning, h) shade, because the sun is bad, i) me to figure out how to get there, j) me to drive, k) me to figure out a place to stay, l) me to get us tickets, m) did I mention the snacks required in between meals, n) more water than is humanly possible to consume, o) must have a scenic view, p) it would help if there are no people, q) must have some shopping to do there, and r) if there’s something therapeutic or whole earth body thing about it that will help.

At least when I travel for work, I’m making money. Plus I’m getting reimbursed for money I’m spending. Most of all, I’m alone.

No. This month has a trip planned for us to go visit my family in Michigan. It will also be our 28th wedding anniversary weekend. Let’s see, shall we…

1) 85 year old Aunt has fallen twice in the last months. Plus she’s had a concussion. Plus they think she might have the start of dementia. 2) 80 year old Father has learned his car frame has a crack, and can’t afford anything new. Plus has forgotten numerous things over the last few months. Plus does nothing but watch MSNBC all day. Plus has imminent kidney failure. Plus doesn’t want to start dialysis. Plus wants me to eat a steak with him to reminisce about something he did for my 19th birthday (over 32 years ago). Plus has verbally told anyone who’ll listen he is ready to die. 3) My BIL has gambled away whatever money he had from his parents dying. Plus the $40K my Father have them. Plus has failed to secure disability for 3 years now (guess what? they’ve probably followed you to the casino). 4) My 53 year old sister will be lucky if she makes it to 60. Her matriarchal lineage would have her on track to die at 65. 5) My 59 year old cousin has graciously invited everyone to her house, when she has gone on record to not allow my BIL or nephew there anymore. 6) My 20 year old nephew doesn’t work, is afraid of everything and everyone, absolutely hates his father, and is threatening to run away to the arms of an older man in Florida.

I’m just so tired of having to manage and do everything for everyone else. Tired of being the rock in this family that is stoic enough for everyone.

I really hope I can coast Oct - Feb on this shit down in San Antonio. Then if nothing else comes my way, my ass will be buying a single, one-way ticket to “who fucking knows, and don’t fucking ask”. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Fín.

[bread-of-death]

Chat I think I need a psychiatrist

[nitro502]

I said Taylor Sw*ft isn’t my favorite person on Facebook and now people are accusing me of being a climate change denying cultist??? When I specifically brought up her carbon footprint as a reason not to worship her???

Also if one more person says “bUt ShE dOnaTes tO cHariTy!” one more time I’m going to explode.

[dykeza]

Ichigo being a stay at home dad who works online is so in character for him actually…… he’s the type of dad to enforce 1 hour of no screen time outside playing in the yard and/or playground. He texts Orihime goofy pictures of Kazui jumping around in some water fixture in the local park and carries him home soaked to the bone and shivering with the biggest smile on his face and then they eat ice cream and wait for Orihime to get home so they can have family game night.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[breakbreadwithme]

i hate it here