#maybe it was the margaritas? idk

[andy-clutterbuck]

Apocalypse Dad Uniform™ Rick Grimes - The Walking Dead | Joel Miller - The Last of Us

[brenna]

i'm feeling chatty. tell me about your day or ask me a question or give me a prompt or whatever. got a random fact? anything you want to know? how are you?

[muncaster]

books i read this year ranked top to bottom from fave to least fave ft. Strangers (who was hangin out throughout all of these)

[myownwholewildworld]

uniformed!joel one shot - the police officer

series masterlist | main masterlist | part ii

pairing: police officer!joel x f!reader.

summary: you're driving back home and, unbeknownst to you, you've committed quite a few traffic offences, noticed by the one and only police officer, joel miller. he's not gonna let you get your way that easily.

a/n: umm hello?? idk what happened, but here we are. i threw this idea to the wind, people seemed to like it, so i started typing and this is what came out. read the warnings and do not judge me please lol this is inspired by this and this ask, so kudos to them! so basically i have decided to start a series of one shots where joel miller wears different uniforms. YEAH, i know, i'm not okay but that's okay. if you guys have any suggestions for this series, my askbox is open! also, i've decided that if i/you guys want, i can write the same uniformed!joel more than once (e.g. two fics of police officer!joel). if someone is interested in being in the taglist for this series, please do let me know. anyways, i do appreciate all comments, reblogs, likes and asks. as always thank you for reading! <3

warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. dark theme. filthy smut. dub-con. age gap, no age gap, you choose (joel is mid-late 40s, reader is at least of legal drinking age). power imbalance (joel is a cop). alcohol consumption (reader is sober by the time it happens). fingering. squirting. oral (m and f receiving). mouth fucking. slut shaming. cheating. rough, public sex. unprotected piv. creampie. joel is a bully and a dick, basically, so be warned. alternating pov. no description of reader apart from having hair that can be pulled. not proofread so i'm sorry.

w/c: ~4.6k.

tagging some people who seemed to be v interested (please let me know if you want to be removed, no pressure!):

@fartcloudfartcloud @liciafonseca @fan-fiction-floozy @sweetlummie

“Shit”, you mumbled as the car keys slipped off your fingers.

You crouched down and blindly dabbed the asphalt, your phone falling off your hand too. You grunted in frustration ― maybe you did drink a bit more than what you had intended. Not to the point where you thought it would be dangerous, otherwise you wouldn’t be driving home. You were already clumsy when sober, so this was no sign of anything, really.

The keys had tumbled under your car, so you got on all fours and bent over to reach. After a few trials, you finally got hold of them. Steadying yourself on the handle of the driver’s side of your car, you got up. Your tiny, fitted skirt had scrunched up at your waist, so you pulled from the hem to bring it back down. Looking around, you hoped you hadn’t flashed anyone.

You had dressed up for the occasion. As you grew older, your group of friends slowly drifted apart, so agreeing on a date and time to meet up had been a fucking miracle. You had been out since midday and sipped on many margaritas to quench your thirst. But knowing you would need to drive back home, you had stopped drinking a couple of hours ago. If you could, you would have gotten hammered. Living in the outskirts of Austin sucked.

You managed to finally open your vehicle and sat down. You hunched down, avoiding the steering wheel, to undo your heels. A satisfied sigh escaped your lips when you took them off ― your feet were hurting so bad, you questioned all of your life choices. A minute later the motor roared awake, and you were on your merry way without a hitch.

That was until you drove out of the city center onto not very well-lit roads. You were driving through an industrial estate when sirens went off behind you. Clicking your tongue, you looked through the rearview mirror, thinking it may be an ambulance asking you to give way.

Ah, no, you were very mistaken. It was a freaking police car, and it seemed like it was asking you to pull over. Great, just fucking great, you thought.

The headlights blinded you, so you couldn’t see the man approaching your car. Then you heard a tap, tap, tap on your window, the officer dazing you with the torchlight. You inhaled deeply, putting on your best smile, and rolled down the window.

“Good evening, officer. What can I do for ya?”, you battered your eyelashes at him, still dazzled by the torchlight.

Maybe if you played all sweet and innocent, he would take pity on you and let you go.

However, you were met with a deep, husky voice.

“License and proof of insurance”, he barked, no good evening miss, no please, nothing. So rude.

When he put down the torch, you caught a glimpse of the guy’s face. Bearded jaw with a prominent moustache, brown curly hair with slivers of silver, an attractive hooked nose, and some devilish hazel eyes. He was in his mid or late forties and was so fucking handsome you almost drooled at the sight.

You bit your bottom lip, a lopsided smile curling at the corners.

“Yes, of course, officer”, your voice was sweet and smooth as you bowed over the passenger’s seat, your boobs casually resting on the steering wheel.

You opened the glove box and handed him the papers, faking the most innocent, girly look you could muster.

“Is there something wrong, officer?”, you asked, leaning on the door frame, gifting him with the tentative sight of your deep cleavage.

His eyes wandered off the papers he was holding and lingered where you intended. You read the tag on his shirt: Officer Miller. Well, Officer Miller looked damn good in that tight uniform. The black shirt clung to his flexed biceps, the buttons slightly giving way to the bulge of his chest, the belt hugging his waist and… good fucking lord, those thighs, the size of a rugby player’s.

Your mouth watered.

You would lie to yourself if you said you were not affected by his presence. In fact, your damp cunt might as well fucking disagree with you. You pressed your knees together, unconsciously looking for some relief to the sudden wet heat gathering in between your legs.

His eyes drifted up lazily, locking on to yours. You swore a muscle on his jaw twitched.

“You were speeding, doing 40 on a 30-mph road. And your headlights are off”, he replied, his tone raspy.

Fuuuuuuuck, that’s why I couldn’t see shit. Were you that drunk? You didn’t feel like it.

Your face expression didn’t flinch, playing dumb might just do the trick. So you giggled, smacking your forehead with the palm of your hand.

“Ah, silly me. But it was well lit up until now, sir, so no harm done, right?”, your honeyed voice pleaded. “I swear this was a 40-mph road a couple of months ago?”

“It was but got changed. Did you not see the road sign?”, he seemed to be very annoyed.

You had no time to answer, because Officer Miller pointed to your lap. For a second you panicked ― surely your arousal had not drenched your clothes, right? You were aware of how wet your pussy was, but not to that extreme. Right? You looked down ― your phone was resting on your lap, but nothing else. A wave of relief overcame you and then you glanced up at him, confused.

“You were talking on the phone while driving, I presume.”

You gasped and promptly shook no with your head.

“No, no, officer. You see, I left it there when I got in the car, I forgot it was on my lap. I promise I wasn’t texting or anything like that.” Your explanation was genuine, but he cocked a brow. “I wouldn’t lie to you, sir.”

“Why? Because you’re a good girl?”. That question caught you off guard and turned you on at the same time, sending shivers down your spine. Your clit twitched. You gaped and nodded unwittingly. “I see. Step out of the car.”

Your heart was racing, attempting to jump out of your chest. Maybe you had been too suggestive. But he was the embodiment of the law, surely the officer had had his good share of temptation and would not yield so easily.

You got out of your sedan, slightly dishevelled, and tugged at your skirt so it would stop riding up your thighs. Officer Miller had taken one step back, his eyes measuring you from top to bottom, loitering on your breasts. His tongue quickly darted out to wet his bottom lip ― you were mesmerised by the simple gesture and pondered how it would feel if you choked on his tongue.

That thought made your cunt gush some more. You pursed your lips ― eyes on him, trying to convey normalcy.

“You’ve been drinking and have also been driving barefoot. That’s a total of, what, five offences?”. Miller clicked his tongue in disapproval. “It’s like you’re begging to spend the night in a cell.” His eyes flickered with malice ― and something else. Lust?

You really did not want to sleep in a cell tonight. You just wanted to get home, that was all. Also, most of your “offences” were bullshit. You were certain he couldn’t charge you with half of it, but his wickedness made you wary.

“I’m not drunk,” you said with a languid smile, touching his forearm, his arms crossed at his chest. “I stopped drinking two hours ago, officer.”

He raised an eyebrow ― Officer Miller didn’t believe a word you said.

“I can smell it.” You didn’t know if it was intentional or not, but his eyes drifted down to your pussy.

“I-It?”, you repeated, lips parted.

He didn’t say anything, just stared at you for a long minute. Your bravery had flaked a bit, although your cunt was begging for him to do something about it.

Joel was having a hard time curbing his horniness. You were so inviting, so insinuating, it was like you were asking to be fucked there and then. Oh, yes, you were, he knew you were. Showing off your boobs, wetting your lips, rubbing your knees together, playing with the edge of your tiny skirt. He had noticed every single one of your seductive attempts.

His cock was hard, so much so that it was stretching against the zipper of his work trousers. He kept his arms crossed, but what he really wanted to do was to readjust his erection so it wouldn’t be so damn uncomfortable.

“Turn around, hands on the car”, he ordered with a steely voice.

You first looked muddled, but finally obliged, giving him your back ― your palms resting on the roof of your car, your knees pressed together. He was sure your cunt was pulsing, and you were just trying to calm yourself down.

The thought made him mad with lechery. His dick was throbbing already.

“I’m going to pat you down, and then I’m gonna cuff you. Understood?”, he warned you, getting close to you.

You suddenly looked over your shoulder, your smile unwavering. You tilted your pelvis back, your ass against his bulge. You glanced down and then back up at him decisively.

“I’m sure we can work something out, officer?”, you whispered, your butt pressing on his swollen lump.

No, Joel was not imagining things. You were definitely asking to be fucked senseless in exchange for just a warning. He was still contemplating whether to entertain the idea or not. You were tempting, he would give you that. Your body was built to satisfy a man’s pleasure ― he could see that even when you were clothed. Barely clothed. Your top was too small, your boobs almost spilling over the neckline; your skirt was too short, your ass cheeks almost visible ― and he was sure you had some slutty heels on before you jumped into the car.

His cock jerked at the thought of rearranging your guts. Because that was what Joel would do to you if he had the chance. He cupped his groin for a second now that you were not looking, pressing it slightly to relieve some of the tension.

It didn’t help. If anything, it made it worse. He suppressed a frustrated groan.

Joel slotted his right knee in between your legs and forced you to separate them, his heavy boot grounding him. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, you’re under arrest for at least reckless driving. Now stay still.” He was fully aware of how the top of his thigh brushed your crotch, but made a titanic effort to ignore it, for his own sanity.

Your panties were so fucking drenched, you feared your discharge might start dripping down your inner thighs. In fact, you let your head down to check discreetly and sighed with relief ― nothing to worry about, he wouldn’t notice how fucking horny you were.

Then he forcefully parted your legs, and you felt the fabric of his trousers sliding against your wet panties. The subtle touch made you jerked your hips up and then back down in surprise, your clothed cunt flushed against his thigh ― you had to swallow the sluttiest moan of your entire life, it felt damn good.

“I’m― I’m sorry”, you mumbled, lifting your body up to break the contact.

You didn’t need to look down to know that there would be a wet patch on his black trousers.

“You should be, making a mess of my uniform like that”, he grunted, exasperated.

Pressing your lips, you inspected every inch of the roof of your car while he patted you down. His big, calloused hands lingered on your underboob longer than necessary, almost cupping them. Both hands travelled down to your waist, his fingertips slightly under the waistband of your skirt.

Your heart was pounding, suddenly unsure of the whole thing. What were you really doing? Were you so desperate that you would let him use you in exchange for letting you go? Were you getting more than what you had bargained for?

It was like the excitement had burnt the last drop of alcohol in your blood and now you were fully aware of what you had unleashed.

But you had no more time to question your attitude, because Officer Miller completely slipped one of his hands under your underwear and buried all of his fingers in your soaked folds, except for his thumb which quickly found your clit. You shut your eyes and moaned audibly, your knees giving way.

His free hand wrapped around your waist to help you stand up, while his fingers traversed your whole slit, from your perineum to your clit, buttering your cunt with your own fluids.

“You are so fucking wet already, you should be ashamed of yourself”, he whispered in your ear while he pushed your ass back into his bulge.

Your treacherous body had awakened at his touch, your clit felt like it was on fire and your cunt was pulsating so hard it was uncomfortable. You rubbed his dick with your buttocks, unconsciously looking for some more friction. Miller groaned behind you, jerking you closer, his cock hard pressed against your ass.

Two of his fingers dipped further down and found your leaking hole, his thumb still rubbing your clit languidly. You whimpered and stirred your hips when one fingertip circled your entrance tentatively. Your back arched, pushing your butt further into his erection.

“Aren’t you a slut?”, he hissed as both fingers slid inside you, your brain not registering his words.

Your moist pussy clenched around his fingers, squeezing them hard. Every time your heart beat, so did your cunt. Officer Miller started fingering you, first slowly, and then picking up a relentless pace. Unable to control yourself, you mewled like a kitten in heat, your forehead now resting against the cold metal of your car and a thread of spit hanging from your mouth. Your needy cunt was so stimulated, so hot, so slippery, you couldn’t stop yourself from coming, even if you wanted to.

So you let go. You orgasmed so hard, you squirted with his fingers still dug in your creamy pussy. But you coming didn’t stop Officer Miller from driving his digits inside of you over and over again, forcing another climax on you a minute later. Your inner walls palpitated so violently, you felt the emptiness of your womb. Then you noticed it: the trickle of your own cum streaming down your inner thighs.

Officer Miller forced his fingers out of you, a pop sound making it obvious that your pussy was drown in your own fluids. The cop tapped your pussy a few times, almost gently, as the last wave washed off your nerve endings. You had never come so hard in your life before. Not even your boyfriend of five years had been able to turn you on this bad.

When your limbs regained some strength, Miller let go of your waist and stepped back. You slowly turned around to face him, but as your eyes drifted down his uniform, you realised that there was a new wet patch on his trousers, this time on his bulge. You had leaked so much, you had drenched his own pants.

You tried to find the words to explain to him that this was not what you had intended. Or was it?

“You’re still under arrest”, his voice was resolute, as if nothing of what just happened had affected him.

Before your neurons could make contact with each other, he handcuffed you, your laced hands resting in front of you, conveniently covering your spent pussy.

“But―”.

“No but’s, blackmailing a cop is an offence too. So that makes it six now, right?”, he cut you off.

You huffed, not believing what he was saying. You had not blackmailed him, not even close, he was just making it up now. Before you could argue, Officer Miller removed the keys from the ignition, shut the driver’s door and locked your car. He then grabbed you by your elbow, forcing you to walk in front of him towards his cruiser.

“Oh, c’mon, you’re now just bullying me”, you complained, your sweet façade quickly toppling.

Miller didn’t reply to your taunting. He simply opened the back door of his Crown Vic and threw you in. You almost tripped but manage to stop the falling. You sat down on the seat, your legs still out of the car, bare soles against the asphalt.

You didn’t know what possessed you, but your cuffed hands darted up and played with the buckle of his belt. Maybe if you gave him some head, he would relax and let you go. You were already in too deep anyway, your whipped pussy living proof of your desire.

“Officer, please, I can make it worth your while if you let me go”, you muttered, your fingers unclasping his belt.

Miller did not say one word, he just stared you down while you held his gaze. His waist slanted forward in an unspoken invitation, his eyes swirling with lust and wickedness.

You were not sure why you were doing this, or if you wanted to do this. But you were a horny mess, your pulsing cunt urging you to keep going, saturating your panties even more. Sure, you could drive home and ask your boyfriend to take care of you, but by the looks of it, you were going to spend the night in a station cell if you didn't do something about it. About him.

With firm hands, you undid the buckle and unzipped his trousers. His big, meaty cock sprung out with no warning, swaying in front of you. He was wearing no underwear. You marvelled at the sight ― his dick was the longest you had ever seen with a considerable girth, veiny and hairy at the base. It looked scary, but also fucking tempting.

“Don’t just stare, do something”, he commanded, grabbing your cuffed hands to bring them closer to his erection.

Ah, someone is impatient, you thought with a smirk before wrapping both of your hands around his circumference. With your mouth agape, close to his leaking tip, you rubbed the precum against his slit with your thumb and then started pumping him. His cock was palpitating, hard and velvety under your clasp ― and warm, so fucking warm you could feel his blood rushing underneath.

His jaw clenched, his eyes transfixed on your moving hands as you upped the rhythm. And then, without prior notice, he fisted your hair in a ponytail and drove his whole dick down your parted lips. You retched when his glans surpassed your uvula and coughed with his cock still in your mouth.

You were suffocating, but he didn’t give a fuck. In any case, he pushed his cock further down, but it had nowhere to go. His pubic hairs tingled the tip of your nose as you looked up, silently asking for mercy with teary eyes.

Miller glanced down at you and the motherfucker just smiled as you were still gagging.

“Look at you. What a whore, you’re taking it so well”, he mumbled under his breath before pushing your head back.

His cock slid out and you coughed to clear your throat of precum, swallowing it. His brutish attitude, although unwelcome, made your traitor of a cunt gush.

“I’m gonna fuck your throat to teach you a lesson. Open up for me, darlin’.”

You didn’t know why, but you just obeyed. Without breaking visual contact, the cop slotted his cock back in between your lips. With his hands on your temples, he tilted his hips forward until his tip stroked the end of your throat. Then he pulled out harshly and started jackhammering your mouth relentlessly, driving his cock in as far as he could every single time, his hairy balls hitting your chin. With Miller taking the lead, your cuffed hands were free. They were lazily resting on your lap until you dipped them down, your index caressing your deprived clit.

You just took it like a champ. After a while, your gag reflex relaxed and you dared to press your lips around his girth, so it would be more pleasurable for him. His slick cock was drumming in your mouth, filling it up entirely, choking you.

Miller pulled your head back sternly ― you were panting like a puppy by the time he was done with your throat. Your eyelashes were damp with unspent tears. You were sure that tomorrow it was going to hurt like if you had caught the worst cold of your life. Your mouth was filled with his sticky precum, a bridge of it connecting your mouth to his cock.

“You’ve not thrown up, well done”, he chuckled darkly. “Clean this mess for me.”

Again, as if you were not in control of yourself, you did as you were told. You licked his throbbing cock, swallowing all the fluids you had swept off his groin.

He lightly patted your cheek. “Good girl, now get up and take that finger out of your pussy.”

You had not realised you had been fingering yourself all along and your clit was begging for some relief. With a trembling sigh, you removed your hand from in between your legs and stood up.

Only then you caught on: he had not come yet. Fuck, you thought.

Did you want this? You were not sure. Letting him finger you and giving him head was one thing, but letting him fuck you was a completely different story. You were not a slut nor a cheater, but he made you feel like one. Your dribbling pussy made you feel like one.

Joel snatched his fingers around your elbow once again and made you walk to the front of his cruiser. He was in extreme need of relief ― his cock was pulsing so hard it was driving him mad with lust. He was gonna fuck that cunt of yours till you begged him to stop.

Unceremoniously, he splayed you down across the hood of his car ― your chest against the metal surface, your ass up in the air and your legs spread wide. If he could take a picture to jerk himself off to, he would.

He needed to see for himself, taste for himself. He was sure as hell that your pussy was drooling, beseeching to be filled to the brim. So he knelt behind you and parted your ass cheeks to have a better look. You whimpered, tiptoeing to give him better access to your soaked flaps.

“You’re such a slut. I could scrunch your panties to fill up an entire glass with your cum. Your thighs are all wet and tacky too”, he couldn’t stop himself from pointing it out, driving his hands up from the back of your knees, up your inner thighs, until they reached your crotch, framing your pussy.

He leaned forward and sipped from the fountain of your underwear, his fingers digging in the flesh of your ass, smelling your sweet sex. You wept, moving your hips against his mouth. Ah, yes, he knew you wanted him to fuck you hard. Very hard.

Joel rode up your tight skirt, exposing your ass to the elements. And then he pulled down your panties and put them in the pocket of his vest, as if they were a trophy. Because they were.

He now could have a better look at your creamy cunt, all smeared with your wanton fluids. Spreading your pussy open with his hands, he lapped you entirely a few times, even your butthole. Joel heard your moans loud and clear, knowing that you had never had your pussy eaten this good before. So he kept on going ― lapping, licking, sucking, biting until you squirted in his mouth, leaking like a broken tap and whining like a bitch in heat.

Joel drank it all and when you were finished, he stood up. He spanked your ass and with a swift movement, impaled you until his balls were flat against your thighs.

You screamed, literally screamed at the top of your lungs, when he stabbed you with his cock. You tried to hold onto something, but there was nothing you could grab. This was exactly what your cunt needed, being stuffed like a goddamn turkey in thanksgiving. Officer Miller drove his cock in and out of you lazily at first, and then he started fucking you stupid with such vigour that your body was being rocked back and forth, the handcuffs sliding against the hood, scratching the metal underneath.

You just moaned uncontrollably throughout the whole thing, unable to quieten yourself. Your cunt clutched around his throbbing dick, squeezing it hard, so hard you felt your muscles strain. Your clit spasmed severely, another fucking climax creeping up on you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK”, you implored to the sky, to him, to whoever was listening.

The cop then fisted your hair in a ponytail and pulled backwards, forcing you up off the hood, your back arching against his chest while he drilled you mercilessly. You were sure the squelching sounds your pussy was making could be heard from a mile away.

Then you finally came again, shrieking ― your treacherous pussy clamping down on his dick, leaking absolutely everywhere, trying to desperately milk him dry. Your eyes welled up, your black eyeliner running down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna take it inside and you’re not gonna complain”, he moaned in your ear and even in your blissful daze, you panicked.

“I’ve got a boyfriend,” you mentioned, but you knew it wasn’t going to stop him.

“Ah, do you? Doesn’t seem like it right now”, and then he huffed heavily, letting go, driving his cock as far inside of you as he physically could.

His warm cum filled you to the brim, painting your walls of sticky white. Irremediably, you sighed, heaving, and closed your eyes, letting yourself rejoice in how full you were of his spent, of his cock.

And as soon as it started, it ended. His dick slid out of your crying, sensitive pussy, leaving your damp skin exposed to the cold air.

You took a minute to compose yourself and pushing down your skirt. When you looked at him, he had already tucked away his cock back in his work trousers, his cop uniform slightly in disarray. Now there were more wet, sticky patches adorning his groin area, a mixture of your shared pleasure.

“Can I have my panties back, please?”, you requested, extending your hand to him, with a sunny, albeit quivering, smile.

“No, I’m keeping them.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Can I at least have a tissue to clean myself up?”, your voice grew smaller as you lost confidence.

“No. I want you to go home with your pussy bursting with my cum, so that boyfriend of yours knows you’ve been fucked stupid by someone else”, he explained, full of himself.

At least you were going home. Or so you thought until you saw him walk to the back door of his Crown Vic, holding it open for you to jump in.

“This means nothing, you’re still spending the night in the cell”, he said, matter-of-factly.

You scoffed, angry. “Are you fucking serious?”, you asked, although what you really wanted to do was cry.

But you swallowed your tears, contrite ― your pride was bigger than your shame. And right now, you felt mortified.

What had you done?

Well, you had gambled, and you lost.

But, on the other hand, he had fucked you so good, so filthy, you were not sure any other cock would measure up to his.

[biancadoes1]

Am I alone in thinking this is just two friends getting a meal together? Yeah idk again regardless I’m firmly on the Lukola SHIP but idk this still seems like a friend vibe to me with maybe an inside joke about hot sauce. I’m still thinking about Nicola’s latest British Vogue interview where she confirmed her fave drinks are margaritas and Guinness pints (also Luke’s faves) and how much they have in common lol. Not to mention the pic Nicola posted of her and Luke solo in Brazil with the mirror walls have much more of a romantic vibe than this so just saying lol.

You're not alone.

I think the majority of people on this blog at least have come to the consensus this was a friendly dinner date.

Not a romantic one.

These pictures do not have the same vibe as this:

[chobani-flip]

@bucktommypositivityweek

prompt: what they love most about each other (yeah, idk... i just realised that this was happening like an hour ago? i was wondering why so many fics had a similar theme today... oh well... im not sure what this is, but it definitely is. enjoy?)

--

so there's this line that buck heard at a wedding once. it was while he was working as a bartender in peru, and this american couple who'd met in the bar he worked at during his shift decided to get married there.

and Sex-on-the-Beach-Easy-On-The-Cranberry-Juice said to Dark-And-Stormy: "how do i love thee, let me count the ways"

which made buck look up from where he'd been mixing up a margarita because: thee? really? but then Sex-on-the-Beach-Easy-On-The-Cranberry-Juice went on to list a truly ridiculous list of attributes which made buck sigh a little wistfully and wonder what it was like to have someone to love like that.

(who'd love you back)

he thought he'd found it with abby, but well...

and with taylor he sometimes lay awake at night rolling the words over on his tongue like bobby taught him you should do with wine, to actually have a chance at tasting some of the insane things the labels promise. but back then how do i love thee, let me count the ways always left a vague fuzziness all over his mouth, all grippy tannin.

(they weren't right for each other, buck knew that now. maybe they could have worked if they'd met sooner, or later, but not then.)

"evan?"

"hmmm?"

"the seatbelt?"

oh. slowly, buck blinked at tommy through the warm cabin light. he'd had just the mai tai at the bar, but it'd been a while since he'd had anything besides an occassional beer and he could feel the alcohol hitting him more than usual.

it made the interior of tommy's car blur just a little as he turned his head to reach for the seatbelt. it made him grin wide and stupid into tommy's lovely face as he smiled his crow's feet smile with his eyes and turned the key in the ignition.

a single sure turn of the wrist. buck loved tommy's hands. big. wide. and big. and the bone, the one that stuck out a little at the wrist. the one that hen smacked him for laughing at it for the hundredth time when he was helping her learn anatomy with flashcards. pisiform bone. buck loved it too.

"you ok?" "i like your hands"

they didn't speak at once, but tommy had barely finished his question when buck began his confession so it was very nearly the same thing. tommy threw his own hand a slightly bemused look before reaching for the gearshift and changing gear.

because tommy drove manual. buck loved to watch the muscles of his legs contract and release in perfect synchronicity as he released the clutch and stepped on the gas.

he wore jeans tonight for their meet-up with hen and karen. buck loved how they fit around his thighs, made him kinda wanna bite them.

and then move up and taste his hipbones again, and bury his nose in the hair at the base of tommy's cock and suck at the sensitive skin of his balls and-

"evan, you know i love to hear you talk but i really need you to shut up now. im glad you like how tight my jeans are but they're really fucking tight."

buck blinked a little faster at being brought back from his daydream, licked his dry lips and realized the sudden absence of sound vibrating his vocal cords.

huh.

tommy was throwing him little looks in between checking the side mirrors, smiling, maybe a little bit in disbelief. buck loved the way his upper lip grew thinner the wider he smiled. he also loved to bite on the fuller bottom lip.

how do i love thee, let me count the ways

buck bit his own lip to keep from grinning and, with the aftertaste of rum and sugar smooth at the back of his throat, went on with his list.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Something dark... maybe like Eddie lived but was displaced by the Gov... and like 5 years later you find him.. in a little hole in the wall and maybe a little angst.. maybe a little smut maybe a little longing.. falling back together etc.. idk Something freaky fresh 🤪

Okay, I love this idea! But I’m going to change it a little if you don’t mind!

Eddie x fem!reader

cw: MDNI (18+) unprotected sex (wrap it before you smack it) fingering, angst, grief, whole lot of hurt/comfort

It had been five years since Eddie had passed away down to the day. It was a day that was one of the hardest of the year for you. It felt like it had just happened and the emotional wounds were still fresh, still exposed and you were hurting more than ever.

You had been going to therapy ever since, but the nightmares never stopped even though they were less frequent. You could still feel Steve pulling you away from Eddie while you watched his lifeless body lay there, covered in blood. You felt his hand let go of yours and the life left his eyes. You screamed his name over and over, but he never responded. He was officially dead.

The funeral was rough. The very few people who showed up sobbed the entire time and you all huddled together, vowing that you would be there for each other. And you were. You all had dinner together almost every night and it was pretty much the only thing you looked forward to in your life.

Every single year on the anniversary of Eddie’s death, you went to his favorite bar that was a few towns over and ordered his favorite drink to honor him. It was your own little tradition and everyone knew not to bother you while you spent the day by yourself while you mourned your dead boyfriend who very much should have been alive.

What you didn’t know what that Eddie was very much alive. After he had escaped the Upside Down, he had somehow stumbled upon a hospital that had nursed him back to health. He had no idea what had happened to everyone, so he decided that he wouldn’t call anyone and go into hiding to avoid the police no matter how much he wanted to see if you were okay.

He ended up heading to the town with the bar that he loved, knowing that he was far enough away from home that no one would recognize him. It was a win-win all around. But he missed you. He missed you so fucking much that he could hardly stand it and he felt so guilty for not contacting you and telling you the truth.

So, he dealt with it the only way he how. He drank away his problems. He’d go to the bar every day and order margarita after margarita and throw them back like they were water. Maybe it wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it was the only way he knew how to deal with the pain.

You sat on your favorite stool and ordered a margarita, holding back your tears as you waited for your drink. You lowered your head so no one could see your face and your drink was set in front of you along with a plate of mozzarella sticks. You looked up at the bartender and he gave you a wink as he pushed the plate towards you.

“On the house. You look like you could use something comforting.” The nice gesture made you tear up even more. You weren’t hungry, but you felt like it would have been rude not to eat them, especially since he wasn’t going to make you pay for them.

“Thanks,” you smiled weakly. You took one of the sticks from the plate and took a bit despite your nausea and ate until the plate was empty. You hadn’t eaten anything that day because your grief had been taking up your thoughts.

“Of course,” he nodded then turned to take care of the customer who was sitting a couple of stools away from you. You turned to look at them and did a double take, absolutely sure that your mind was playing tricks on you. There was no way that your dead boyfriend was sitting right there. It wasn’t possible.

You were sure that you were hallucinating. The guy looked like Eddie but it couldn’t be him. You missed Eddie so much that you were imagining him to make yourself feel better. Maybe if you reached out to touch him, you could confirm that it really wasn’t him. You just wanted to be sure so you could put it out of your mind and put your curiosity to rest.

You tried to get off your stool, but the whole thing ended up toppling to the floor, taking you with it. The loud sound of it hitting the hard wood made everyone turn to you. You weren’t sure why, but your ears were ringing. You couldn’t hear anything but muffled voices as everyone in the bar hovered over you to see if you were okay.

“I’m good, I’m good,” you assured them as you sat up, actually telling the truth this time. Your arm hurt a little, but other than that, you were okay. You didn’t even care anyway, the man making his way towards the front of the crowd being the only thing on your mind.

Once they confirmed you were okay, everyone dispersed and went back to their tables, leaving you and the stranger alone. He was looking at you with wide eyes like he couldn’t believe you were there and your expression matched his. His eyes were watery as he reached up to touch your face, his thumbs wiping away your own tears.

“I knew it was you,” you told him, throwing yourself into his arms and he was quick to catch you, wrapping them around your waist tightly. You sobbed in each other’s arms for what felt like a while then pulled away, your lips attaching to his in a messy kiss. You tasted something salty and realized that it was the tears that you had both cried but that didn’t stop you from breaking apart until you both needed to catch your breath.

He took you by the hand and led you outside and down the block to an apartment building so the two of you could have some privacy. Part of you felt like you were in a very surreal dream but feeling his hand in yours made you realize that he was actually there. Right in front of you.

As happy as you were that he was alive, he had lied to you. For five years you thought he was dead and he had failed to contact you even though you were his fucking girlfriend. He had told you had he loved you in the Upside Down when he was dying in your arms, but apparently it wasn’t a lot since he had kept something like that from you.

He pulled you over to the elevator and pressed the button that would take the two of you up to his apartment. The doors opened not too long after and he pulled you inside, his lips attaching to yours once again. You felt a pit in your stomach and pushed him away, causing him to hit the wall.

“Still like it rough, huh?” He asked, his lips chasing yours, but you kept your hand on his chest, keeping him against the wall. Tears welled up in your eyes again and Eddie’s face softened, the lust completely gone from them. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? You lied to me, Eddie. You’ve been alive this whole time and didn’t even think to contact me?”

“I was trying to protect you. I knew that the police would be after me if I came back to you. I know it was selfish and I’m sorry, so sorry, baby.” That made sense to you, but it didn’t make you feel any better. Did he think that you would tell anyone? Because you wouldn’t have. Not if he didn’t want you to. He had your full trust. Always.

“You still could have called me. I could have hid you just as well.” Eddie knew that and he wanted it so bad, but as time went on, the guilt was too much to bear and he couldn’t stand to see the look on your face when you found out that he was actually alive. The look you were giving him right now.

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry. You have no fucking idea.” His hands cradled your face and you let him wipe your tears away. “You can say anything you want to me right now and I won’t blame you. I’m a fucking dick-”

“You’re not a dick, Eddie. You were just doing what you thought was right. And as mad as I am right now, I’m just so fucking grateful that you’re alive.” You pulled him in for a kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. The elevator doors opened and Eddie grabbed onto the backs of your thighs and lifted, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist. His hands held onto them as he carried you to his apartment, only breaking your kiss to fish his keys out of his wallet. Once the door was unlocked, he slammed it closed with his leg then attached his lips to yours once more.

You licked into his mouth as he set you down on the kitchen counter, neither one of you able to make it to his room. Your pants and underwear were off in a flash and Eddie spread your legs open to get a good look at your sopping wet cunt. You were nervous because you hadn’t shaved, but he didn’t seem to give a single fuck about that.

“Glad to know I can still get you so fucking wet,” he chuckled. “You’re soaked.”

“And desperate,” you replied breathlessly. If he didn’t do something right then, you were going to have to take care of it yourself. “Haven’t fucked anyone in five years.”

“Me neither, sweetheart. Gonna need to open you up, huh?”

“Eddie, hurry,” you urged and as soon as the words left your mouth, he shoved his fingers inside your cunt. “Oh,” you moaned, realizing just how much you missed the feeling. Your fingers didn’t do the job nearly as well as Eddie’s.

“Fuck, angel, you’re so tight,” he commented as his fingers pumped in and out of you. “Gonna be good as new when I’m done with you.”

“So good,” you whined, leaning your head back, your eyes closing in pleasure as Eddie fucked his fingers in and out of you.

“Don’t go dumb on me now, angel,” he urged. “Haven’t even gotten inside of you yet.” His fingers moved harder and faster inside of you and you came undone at the feeling, forgetting just how good it felt to have him do that sort of thing to you.

“Need your cock, Eddie.”

“Don’t have any condoms.” That was the least of your worries. You needed him right then.

“I don’t care. I haven’t fucked anyone and neither have you and I’m still on birth control. So let’s do this.”

“Still needy for me, huh? Some things never change.”

“Eddie, hurry up before I care of it myself.” Your eyes bored into his and he got rid of his jeans and boxers, his dick springing free. It was bigger than you remembered and you wondered if it would even fit.

He lined himself up with your cunt and pounded into you, his lips meeting yours in a filthy kiss, his tongue scraping against yours as he continued to pound into you. You moaned into his mouth and the sound was just as delicious as he remembered. His lips moved to your neck as he hips bucked against yours so his mouth wasn’t muffling the sounds falling from your lips.

“Feel so good, baby. Still know how to take me so well,” he whined. “God, you’re so hot.”

Your back arched as he moved faster, his dick hitting just the right spot to make you melt. You were already reaching your orgasm and he had barely even done anything. Your vision went hazy from absolute euphoria he kept going and his moans were doing wonders for your already sopping wet pussy.

“Look so hot taking my cock, baby. Guess I’ve still got it.”

“Eddie, I think I’m gonna-” you finally reached your climax and felt embarrassed that it was so quick, but Eddie was not long after you, his body leaning over yours as he reached his own peak.

“Guess I did too,” he chucked, as he wiped the sweat from your forehead. “Did so well, sweetheart,” he praised as he pressed his lips to yours. “And again, I’m so sorry.”

“We can work through it,” you rubbed your thumb along his cheek. “I know it’s still daylight, but can we please go to bed?”

“Sure we can, sweetheart.” He picked you up and carried you to the bathroom to clean the both of you up and once you were all done, you both got into the bed and got the best sleep of your life because you both were finally reunited. And there was no way that Eddie was going to let you go ever again.

[chasedeys]

i've decided to lump all my shippy rpf au/non au thoughts together so. some nsfw btw, some non bengals, and like several ships you'd maybe have to brace yourselves for idk.

(also feel free to ask abt/share your thoughts on these or even other ships hehe maybe i'll get inspired! there's like 15 ships here goodness)

joemarr:

avatar au - airbender jamarr, firebender joe i knowwww some of you would think its the opposite but no i am finitely correct. the way jamarr would be bouncing around leaping around that man is an airbender!! not of the acolyte variety though 😭 while the deadset focused single mindedness of joe is for sure giving firebender hiding his scalding inner feelings. highly talented jamarr running away from the air temple in a very its-not-a-phase-nobody-understands-me-esque way and joe never getting the due diligence over his abilities in the fire academy so post graduation he's training hard under some obscure master (coach o lol) and getting outrageously good at his bending from sheer petty stubbornness and need to prove himself. they team up for that avatar korra organized bending fight thing i can’t recall and kick ass. and make out etc etc.

time travel au - old and greying married joemarr heaved with fresh out of the oven just won a natty joemarr. jamarrs tearful face clutching his ball staring in shock at ja’marrs unimpressed face clutching a margarita bowl in the middle of his and joes fucking kitchen. baby joes on top of the kitchen island bc somebody high up fucked up the calculations. older joes in the back trying to water their honestly dying plants. comfortable in their skin older joemarr reminiscing their years together tangled on a love couch while ten feet apart in the L shaped couch baby joe and jamarr red in the face just would not look in each other's direction like at all. jamarrs still clutching his ball. they’re still wearing their gear. joe would not stop staring at their gigantic ass framed wedding photo on top of the fire place. the emotional rollercoaster of being faced with the reality of possibly not playing together again steamrolled by the slap of imagery of them being married. being in one team. being a team. being more than what they thought they were together. and that time travel is real joes nerdy ass quantum mechanics enjoyer would be pissing himself in excitement probably. some crazy 'im gay for my qb/wr?' dilemma.

joemarr endgame with jjmarr fuckbuddies fwb extraordinaire :) except jamarrs very obviously to everyone but joe in love with joe, but he’s a slut (affectionate) so him and justin fall into bed very easily. one morning joe randomly dropping by jjs apartment greeted by justin making coffee etc he’s sitting in the kitchen island and jamarr walks out of justins room in just boxers yawning scratching at his belly with marks all over his body very obviously having gotten laid (pressing his hands against his eyes so he doesn’t see joe he just smells coffee and asks aloud if he can suck justins dick as a treat this morning lmao). cue horrific faces all around! cue misunderstandings! angst! why would you two hide this from me me! feelings realizations! tee having to suffer through joes breakdowns!! justin being exasperated through it all as joe be his stupidly loyal self congratulates him for his and jamarrs thing before cutting the man off by saying he’s in love with his coach fuck of jb fr. joe avoids jamarr for a hot minute before suddenly getting pushier and handsier with jamarr and that somehow leads to a cinematic fight and subsequent Great Big Confession in the middle of nowhere in a field of orange and purple flowers and green grass and hiding peeking woodland creatures and rain falling down heavy on them when they’re yelling only for it to suddenly clear and a rainbow to shoot right above them when they kiss end scene. cut scene to them sitting on a couch knees touching very bravely telling an unimpressed tee how they got together as tee shits on them for getting the flu of all things.

others (bengals/bengals or /nonbengals):

23 rookies poly - suchhh interesting dynamic between them alllll. drunken night of celebration of their touchdowns calling each other little tiny baby leading to chase getting spitroasted. waking up horrifically sticky and spent the next morning but charlie just goes right for the kill and climbs on top of yoshi for round four. social admins favorite targets yoshi and charlie being scrutinized heavily by the admins the next day wondering if they should be on that days segment 😭✋ (they really shouldn’t)

tee/justin - that one vikings vs bengals game where justin points/pokes at tee saying that his insane tuddy was crazy. that he was crazy for that one (it was. he was. tees sooooo). help me. help meeeee. (justin jamarr competency kink do you feel me) I’m thinking sonnets and ballads here guys they just talked and complimented each other for 1 (one) minute but I’m hearing wedding bells. no but okay so they just casually like each others posts and reply emojis to each others stories and start dming cute shit like hey heard u like this guys music or hey whyd u make a face like that in this one ad lol or hbd bro keep grinding or joe and jamarr said this insane shit abt u is it true or hey u in la right lets link up etc etc finally having each others numbers and texting near 24/7. joe and jamarr get suspicious when justin knows exactly what they’re talking abt tee when they have their random catch up sessions with him before it clicks like hm. theyd be good for each other huh. justin erratic yet pin straight demeanor vs tees calming affectionate accepting nature huh. both their outrageous babygirlism. huh. the two promptly get down to business (setting them up) but like all their efforts are literally already done by those two. making and faking cancelling plans only to find out they carpooled together and were planning on spending the night together anyway etc etc.

joemartee oughhuhguhhuhhh secret established relationship joemarr being disgustingly in love but nobody knows they just think they’re like that or like oblivious and bets running around if they’re actually together/getting together/Very Good Friends etc while tees Going Through It falling for joe that one year first (on no he's a hot jock nerd) and getting close with his paramour the next year (oh no he's a hot semi-stereotypical jock) and they're both just oh so sweet and just genuinely going through the wringer with these insane feelings and joemarr oblivious asses oohing and aahing and blushing over tee higgins crying as i picture this i lvoe them your honor. it ends with them holding hands together in the middle of their home field on top of the tiger print b logo (which they all were in college. tigers that is. in college. where they faced each other for a natty. crazy).

tee/tb - both too pretty not to be obsessed with each other tbh. the angst aspect of ducking out of the bengals is there lol but what i want is tb pure class of dining and wining tee higgins like he deserves!! except he’s also a freak so tees constantly getting hit with random sensual touches and the dirtiest innuendos he’s ever heard of in his 20+ years of living.

joe/evan - the afc smoooocchhh being all that evan could think about 😭 joe being absolutely enamored by evans competency and confidence (that guys crazy he’s like looks like we're going to the afc championship or smtg i forgot but joes smile talking abt him is burned into my gyri) while on the other hand evans in his head thinking joes with jamarr and like am i really going to go for a man clearly in with his college bf only to be bamboozled by jamarr barging into his hotel room one night and yapping abt joes adoration for him and how all his 'why doesn't he like me' woes annoy the ever living shit out of him so he drags evan to joes room and locking them in together (how he does it nobody knows)

bayou trio poly - THSI SI SOOOO. there’s actually so many thoughts abt them but i cannot for the life of me even begin to word them out. joe being very obsessed with his receivers is like the entire precursor to this if I’m being honest because this man just would not shut up about jj and jamarr like that one interview about olympics flag football and his first thought is he’s playing with his guys shutttt your faceee. but just him relentlessly pursuing his guys and them fucking with him right back and with each other is so <33

trey/ja’marr - this bitch/bitch pairing has me by the throatttt trey being outright fucking wooing the shit out of jamarr but also unable to keep his smartass comments to himself and jamarr getting his feathers absolutely ruffled but the wooing he’s actually kind of oblivious to is working so well 😭 trey making an effort to be interested with jamarrs likes interests and hobbies, semi perfect gentleman because again he can’t help himself he has to be a smartass, one scene in my mind i can’t let go of is of trey dragging jamarrs plate of chilli he was handed off by someone unknowing for himself and giving his own plate filled with jamarrs favorites to him and that shit flusters jamarr bad but trey just has to make fun of him for his anti chilli agenda. he complains to tee and joe they each have to hold his hands very gently to tell him that that giant man is trying to wife you up and the world rearranges itself in jamarrs head so the next day he flirts disgustingly shamelessly outrageously with trey who’s flustered as all hell when jamarr actually just puts his entire hands all over his belly and waist. tee and joe 20 feet away from jamarr shamelessly feeling his man up with hands over their faces because oh my god jamarr be normal would you.

mims/erick - i don’t actually know them that well but their one instagram interaction, the fact they’re both rookies, and their beauty compels me so.

keon coleman/ja'marr i know this makes ZERO SENSE but let me tell you something x3 😭😭😭 the fact that jamarr stingy ass follows him on insta??? from like a single training (?) session??? this notoriously unwilling to just follow anyones ig followed keon from when is probably the first ever interaction they had together????? adorable. both from nola!! keon being such a sweet emotionally and intellectually intelligent sweetheart people on tiktok calling him dumb just from the way he talks (sincerely and honestly, yall nasty people wouldn't get it) get behind me 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚. no do you get me jamarr getting lowkey obsessed with keons cute ass funny ass 6'4 ass goofy chill ass self and keon slightly starry eyed at jamarr guahagauahuh hear me outttttt (this is literally all i have in me to say sorry)

others (non bengals)

micah/cj - i keep getting these twos interviews and events together in tiktok its crazy micah says the most delusional shit and cj has to stop himself from cussing him out in disbelief its sooo funny. getting ‘casually fucking’ from vibes alone, the sexy way they debated on an imaginary cj offense vs micah defense play in micahs podcast (?) was also very compelling lol. like cj definitely fucked this man from annoyance of his bullshit but also of his brain and also bc he's hot okay.

cj/bryce - watching glimpses of their high school (?) lore and now the black magic shit going on….insane….the angst…..have they met up or talked at all this season. what would they say to each other. the tender angsty horny aspect of it all. haunts me i won’t lie.

bryce/andy - the panthers qb disasterland angst aside, bryce went after that old man like crazyyyy. the ethics of fucking a much younger man youre mentoring whos looking up to you for guidance and going through a very vulnerable moment in his life while you're also weighed down by a franchise calling for blood is so. soooo.

fred/brock - lowkey into the 49ers but their situation rn is. very dire. i wish them the best truly. heal quick and completely. but freds suchhh a gorgeous man and all his mic'ed up moments are adorable and brocks lore of being the absolute last pick and outperforming the other qbs drafted before him just stokes the fire in me and theyre just so. the slight curdle knowing youre the last pick the sudden responsibility shoved into your hands the star player backing you up relentlessly. learning each others ways during training camps and on the road trips gradually realizing theyve talked more about anything and everything that theyve ever talked to anyone before, brock freaking the fuck out while fred gets incredibly down with everything etc etc

koc/jj - constantly getting the vibes of ‘he fuckeddd that old mannn’ when i see gifs of those two with jj just being 🥰😘💞🎀💓🌸💖💝🩰🌷 aughguhgh outrageous levels of besotted he’s WORKING he’s GETTING HIS MAN he’s FLIRTING hes using EVERY weapon in his disposal (competency, beauty, babygirlism, etc) you have to respect that shit. stupid fic idea that won’t leave my head is of them getting into a scandal caught by paparazzi romantic ass dinner holding hands and ending the night clubbing close but they really aren’t anything at that time but ahaha you get where I’m going with this right FAKE DATING!!! except this isn’t really feasible bc lets be real a coach dating his player = fired. period. or the player traded to a different team which. WHICH. but theyre both like invaluable to the vikings so they just go ok fake dating have at it (that makes zero sense but whatever). anyway super fun idea can’t lie justin upping his cutesy lovey schtick and koc quietly dying from it. joe legit reaches out like 'ur not being coerced or anything right' while jamarrs like 'get that silver dickkkk' (hes like 39 but whatever) etc etc.

stosh - i can’t say it. i just can’t 😭😭 the point is stef is definitely vicious as all hell and josh is rightfully protecting himself and post week 5 game they fucked one last time racing against time before joshs flight back to ny and there were tears bitten back words and just like a final goodbye for both of them. for good. forever. or is it. (it is.) (they still think of the other.) (josh sees the ghost of him in every corner of his stadium. in every stool in his kitchen. in every tightened smile around him when he says he's practicing throwing to a receiver.) (stef feels the ghost of his touch every time he throws a ball perfectly to a fan in the stands. when cj tells him to snap his wrist correctly when he jokingly plays the quarterback. thinking of faking not being able to throw just to feel his touch in a crowd of people.) also stef saw that is it in ad meme and has a visceral reaction he barely stops himself from tweeting heinous shit about joshs dick game

okay so brace yourselves:

lamar/ja’marr - LMAOOOO don’t come for me but jamarrs competency kink. the shit he said about playing lamar in madden. lamar being witness to the sexy as all hell 82 yard td and 70 yard td annoyance against his team and being driven to do SOMETHING about it. guys see my vision. see beyond team sports for a minute and seeee myyy visionnnn. but yeah that’s the thing that compels me abt them lol

pat/ja’marr - HEAR ME OUTTTTTT the sheer distaste jamarr has against the chiefs is sooo ???? them randomly meeting each other one day and ja’marr instantly has his hackles up -> pat responding right at jamarrs vibes and annoying ass heckling the shit out of jamarr (his intentions were playful. jamarr does not see it that way) -> ja’marr fight mode activated -> straight up making out and fucking dirty in the backrooms -> never speaking of it again. the narratives!! that’s basically it

joe/pat - lowkey compelling 😔🤚 just imagining absolutely disgustedly affronted ja'marr in the back as joe and pat do a shy blushy demure 4 feet for jesus between them vanilla ass flirting light hearted 'haha i beat you' jabs 'good game bro pal buddy' dance is so 😭😭😭 jamarr spritzing water at pat pushing joe away behind him 'really. right in front of my salad. get the fuck away i swear.' joe trying to advocate for his feelings while jamarr shoots them down saying thats the most toxic shit hes ever heard (its not even remotely toxic hes just saying shit) somehow getting roped to helping set them up and he burns (slight insane thoughts of him and pacheco working together and then ehehe etc bc of that one time pacheco gassed up the crowd to the background of jamarr Going Through It and like. pachecos fucking gorgeous yall look at him. pacheco needling at jamarr like ‘u in love w joe or smtg’ asking semi seriously bc jamarrs like super funny and cute and absolutely incapable of being chill about his team wow and jamarrs dying everybody quit asking if hes in love with his qb he swears esp this gorgeous ass annoying prick)

joemarrpat. no i will not elaborate. (dirty hate fucking. jamarr right in the middle btw shut upppppp)

ok bye

[pixiesfz]

kyra cooney-cross x reader

plot: you and Kyra used to be best friends and now she's on top of the world and you feel like you're falling behind.

warning: angst, swearing, idk

You sat at the restaurant with a menu in front of you as another waiter came to ask for your order "I'm just waiting for someone" You smiled politely but they just nodded their head and walked away.

You checked your phone again it was 8:30, you had both agreed on 8:00, all those years ago, every Friday. She was hardly ever late. Well that was until after the world cup.

She had thrived and you watched on the sidelines almost every match, she gained attention and you loved that for her, you were even the first person to go to her apartment to congratulate her on her signing with Arsenal.

But now she was busy and even more popular with the fans, you wanted to be so happy for her but it pulled her away from you so you never fought it, you only texted her a couple of times with congratulations and the conversations never lasted long. But you always had your Friday night 'dates' your other friends called them.

It was no secret that the two of you had some feelings towards another and your flat mates bullied you for it non stop. You realized you liked the girl when she got the call up to be in the senior squad for Matildas. She was so happy and her dream had finally come true.

You had a feeling she liked you too but you never acted on it, you were always scared whenever the opportunity came up.

You regrated never telling her because maybe then she would be sitting in front of you right now looking at the menu over and over even when you knew she would just settle with a classic margarita pizza and a sprite lemonade. She wasn't to fancy.

It had been 45 minutes now and you had lost your hope, she wasn't coming and she didn't even send you a text. You felt embarrassed as you sat up and paid for your drink as you had told the workers you were waiting for someone and now you were walking out alone.

It was when you turned the corner of the street you saw the girl you had been waiting for in a frantic state almost running to the restaurant.

"Y/N!" she called out as you walked past her "you were late" you told her, not changing your pace. You felt her go to your side again "Y/N I'm so sorry-"

You breathed in before turning to her "you didn't even bother to text!" Kyra looked down to the floor giving you an opportunity to talk again "where even were you?" you questioned and she was silent again "I forgot" she mumbled and you took a step back.

How could she forget.

For three years you've been doing this. What could have been so adamant on her mind that she forgot that she was supposed to see you.

"Or did you forget about me?"

Your question struck something in Kyra "No I could never-" "No I'm serious" you told her "I'm happy for you I really am but I feel like I'm just something that you're leaving behind, we don't talk as much, we haven't facetimes each other in god knows how long" you ranted

"I'm sorry" Kyra said looking at you but you shook your head "I know 'm not your girlfriend or anything, but I don't want to be another ex friend" you started "we've been through too much for that" you told her before walking away and to your car and driving off.

When you woke up the next morning you didn't know how to feel, did you just fuck up everything? You looked to your phone to maybe see a message from Kyra but instead you saw one from Steph, Kyra's team mate from Arsenal and the Tillies.

Steph: Hey do you know what's wrong with Kyra she seems weird today

Fuck. You ruffled your hair between your fingers and ignored the feeling in your stomach

Y/N: Yep I have a feeling, I'll come over after training.

You didn't want Kyra to feel like this even though it was what she made you feel for weeks on end, but you couldn't give up on her, you couldn't give up on the both of you.

It was late when you finally had the courage to drive to Steph's house where Kyra had been staying before she found an apartment near training. It was dark and the stars were in the sky.

When you knocked on the door Steph was quick to greet you "hey Y/N" she smiled and let you in "hey Steph" you sheepishly smiled as you walked in "Kyra's in the guest bedroom, been stuck in their since training" she sighed and turned to you "you're the only person that I've seen her be so happy with" she pointed out "sorry if I interrupted-" "your fine Steph" you waved her off before breathing in "I'll go talk to her" you nodded before making your way into the guest bedroom.

You hesitated before knocking on the door but did anyway "I'll have dinner later Steph" she called back "It's not Steph" you replied back and Kyra was quick to open the door after hearing your voice "hey Y/N/N" she whispered "Hey Ky" you smiled before letting yourself in and closing the door behind you.

"Steph texted me, said you weren't yourself" you admitted and Kyra nodded "I can't believe I forgot" she told you and you nodded "to be fair I distanced myself a little bit, I didn't want to invite myself to everything whilst you adventured with Arsenal" you shrugged and she looked up at you "I noticed the distance" she told you "I thought you started seeing someone or something"

You laughed "me" you pointed at yourself "never" you shook your head and the girl laughed a little as you sat next to her on the bed. You both of you stayed on the bed in silence before Kyra spoke up

"I didn't just forget yesterday I went out" she admitted and you nodded, it didn't really change anything "with the team?" you asked and she nodded "It started with the team then I got stuck in a conversation with a fan"

"was she cute?" you teased and she laughed "Nah you're cuter" she teased back and you both blushed "what did you talk about?" you asked "Football, my career, treating me better than I had at other clubs, treating me like I was somebody"

"Your getting a fan base Kyra, you play for the Arsenal" you poked her shoulder as she leaned back and came back and leaned her head on your shoulder.

"I wonder if she would've talked to me if I wasn't somebody?" she wondered "I would've" you smiled and Kyra looked up at you.

You just kept your smile as she looked at you "I've always been your biggest supporter" you reminded her "I know" she smiled "and I plan to stay" you shot your eyebrows at her and she nodded "I'd like that...a lot" she laughed and looked back down to her legs.

"Can you stay tonight?" she asked sheepishly and you nodded "of course" you stated and gave her a kiss on the forehead that lingered "always" you said as you walked over to the door "Imma ask Steph though"

"Y/N your making this seem like a sleepover in high school" Kyra laughed and you shrugged "oh well the most eventful stuff happens at high school sleepovers" you said and walked out to Steph, leaving a blushing Kyra behind.

When you came back Kya was pulling out pajama's for you which consisted of her Matilda's jersey and old pajama shorts which you laughed at. "You just wanna see your name on my back" you smiled as Kyra shrugged and just jumped on the bed, you following once you got changed.

Once you got comfortable Kyra turned to you "When I asked you if you were seeing anyone you said never" she stated "what did that mean?" she asked and you looked at her "I'm not sure I guess..." you trailed off "I just had a crush on someone and just never got over it" you said quietly before moving closer to Kyra who subconsciously did the same "what about you?" you asked even more quiet as Kyra's eyes were set on your lips "same thing" she said before leaning down and giving a slight peck on your lips but not leaving as your foreheads stayed together, nothing was said before you leaned i again and kissed her back, it was nice as your lips just felt like they were made for you, when you pulled back you both smiled.

"Yeah I'm not going anywhere" you laughed.

[sol-consort]

Yeah, hi me again, dragon age girl. Unfortunately I have to tell you that I think I wanna squirt straight on that bald dude's head, even though I'm 128% sure it's gonna end badly because I was watching edits of them (and accidentally spoiled myself I'm pretty sure😐) and they're all angsty so I think he's gonna betray me in some way. But oh well, I love a doomed lovers moment. I can't wait to complain and cry about it later.

"I wanna squirt straight on that bald dude's head" - Anon, 2024.

When I tell you this line alone convinced me to go install the game and try it out because there is no way boiled egg of a man could ever pull this tremendously

And oh.

Oh.

Was I wrong.

I never thought I liked assertive passive-aggressive men until now...damn. The way he so causally takes your hand and does what he does. No explanation. Eggboi kinda hot.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed the most amazing perfect pair of tits to ever exist, and my brain did a complete factory reset.

FORGET BALDIE BASICS I WANT HIM I WANT TO SUCK ON HIS—

God. What a big juicy personality. I bet his heart is just as massive. They're staring at me, I just can't stop looking. Don't ask me what colour anything is idk man his eyes were purple maybe uhhh milk

BUT ALSO...also there is the hot ruggish knight woman whom I want to protect me and carry me to safety in her arms <3 also let me ride her thigh, the armour stays ON during smooch sex.

Lastly, my toxic trait is that I simply cannot play a game without creating the most gorgeous barbie-esque doll of a character. Pretty ladies all around! Brown hair my beloved. I clearly have a type but shhh

LOOK AT HER MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. My pretty doll! My bratz girlie!! A snotty noble human who's completely ignorant of the way of the world but thinks she knows it all + doesn't want to be here and would rather be back home in her privileged cushy life sipping on margaritas in pool parties, but forced to be the hero against her will. So she pretends to care and says what others want to hear.

I plan for her not to take anything seriously until the realisation of how dire this situation is, all the deaths and tragedies, make her have a change of heart and actually tries to help and save others. Becoming more jaded with time and losing that innocent naivety and arrogance.

Oh and double blade rouge bc dagger go swoosh swoosh aka she doesn't wanna carry a sword (it might break a nail) and never cared much for bows (splinters might make her fingertips calloused) and can't do magic for shit (magic?? HERESY! BURN THE WITCH NOW <- most normal aristocratic family teaching)

Sp daggers/theif bc she may or may not have used to lock pick her mother's sweets box as kid to steal candy, but we don't talk about that...or how the dress she's wearing rn is her older sister's, she took it from her closest without permission. Aka, why the blood splatters are okay with her.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Out In The Sticks (Broadchuch Drabble)

Alec Hardy x GN!Reader / requests are open and encouraged!

Summary: It's high time you forced Alec to take a vacation.

Song: Would That I - Hozier

CW: very soft stuff- idk,, go to your dentists after reading to check for cavities

Broadchurch tag list: @clarina04 @kaylinelizabeth4004 @yeethaw13 (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Alec’s never really been one for vacation. Never been one to kick his feet back, sip on a margarita and relax by the pool with a good book. No, Alec’s idea of relaxing was a quick cup of tea and a read of the paper. 

It had taken a great amount of effort to convince Alec to take some of his very, very extensive leave entitlements and pop off for a weekend away, but you’d got there in the end. 

So here you both were, just arriving at a cabin out in the sticks. It was due to snow tonight. It was safe to say that you were excited, and Alec less so. He really was a total grump, but you loved him anyway.

“I hate the snow,” he complained, right hand reaching out to feel as the first flecks of snow started to fall. “So bleedin’ cold, too.” He shook his hand off when the first two melted instantly, the water cold. 

Alec shivered in his big puffer coat and you cooed, pulling him into your embrace. You patted his head mock-comfortingly. 

“Aww, poor baby,” you pouted. “Izzit too cold for you, hm? Poor little thing, come on inside, darling baby.” 

Alec pulled away from you, giving you an only half sincere glare. 

“Shut up,” he growled with no bite, pointing an accusatory finger at you. You broke out into laughter and pulled him by the hand towards the cabin door. It was a quaint little thing and you couldn’t wait to get inside. There would be plenty of time to explore tomorrow. Alec pulled the key from his pocket and unlocked the cabin, pushing the door open with a very satisfying wooden creak. 

There was a fire roaring in the fireplace for you already. Seemed a little dangerous to you, but hey, you weren’t the one paying for the insurance. You let out a gasp as you took in your surroundings. Wood grain everywhere, pretty rugs and a big comfortable-looking leather sofa. Oh, yes, now this was more like it.

Alec shrugged your coat off, pressing a kiss to the top of your forehead. He placed both yours and his coats on the hook by the door and followed you inside. By the time he’d managed to close the door and toe his shoes off, you were already in front of the fire, warming your cold hands and shivering with relief as the cold finally started to ebb away. 

“We should fuck on the rug later by the fire,” you say casually, not looking away from the flames licking up the sides of the logs. “I’ve always wanted to do that. Isn’t there champagne in an ice bucket somewhere too? It’s a plan. Fuck on the rug and then celebrate our fucking with our ice bucket of champagne.” 

Alec scoffs by your ear, wrapping his arms around you. You jump from how cold his skin is and tut. 

“Jesus, man,” you say, not pulling away in the slightest. “I’m going to have to strap water bottles to you this weekend, aren’t I?” 

Alec kisses the top of your head in response.

 

The two of you stand there for a little while, swaying softly in the heat of the fire, enjoying each other's company and finally, after a good long while, getting to relax. No work, no stress. 

The only thing that waited for you this weekend was the spa, some wine, maybe a snowball fight and- if you had any say over it- a lot of naked cuddling. 

You couldn’t wait.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in:

July 2nd, 2024 🎀

Hello! I'm backkkkk! Now that I'm finally doing stuff again, I figured I'd start my daily check ins again and keep myself motivated and accountable with doing productive stuff daily! no challenges, no pressure, just an understanding that something is better than nothing!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

took a 2.5 hour nap in the morning (had an anxiety attack randomly that left ne absolutely exhausted but the nap was so nice)

reviewed a few Spanish lessons on Busuu

completed 2 new Spanish lessons on Busuu

completed 2 Korean Hangul lessons on Busuu

booked an Italki Spanish lesson for July 15th

booked an Italki trial lesson in Korean for July 24th (pushing myself to learn the alphabet and study as much as possible til then so I won't be an absolute absolute beginner, hopefully)

reached out to a tattoo/piercing shop about some piercings my friends and I want to maybe get while in Colorado

bought a margarita pizza from a little Italian pizza shop and it was DELICIOUS

journaled in the morning

did my night time skincare (I needed it, my face was dry and flaky)

drank ~40oz of water (definitely should've drank more)

reached out to an online health and fitness coach, so we'll see how that goes, if it goes anywhere

💔 What Could've Gone Better:

random anxiety attack stopped me from going to workout so I stayed in bed most of the day, exhausted

didn't get many steps in or do much in general

ate 4 out of the 6 slices of pizza (it was comforting, idk. it happens, so I won't beat myself up. saved those 2 slices for my roommates if she wants them!)

could've definitely spent less time on tiktok and more time studying the languages I'm trying to learn

might even broken my middle toe on my left foot after slamming it into the side of a bottom drawer that I didn't know was open

💗 Stuff For Tomorrow (July 3rd)

make all necessary payments (rent, new apartment, credit cards, etc)

study Spanish a bit (~1 hour or more)

study Korean Hangul a decent amount (~1 hour, or more, preferably)

try to workout or at least keep my steps up

do laundry

wash our towels (housekeeping here in seriously not the best)

find somewhere to buy Tylenol and tape for my (most likely) broken toe

try not to spend too much money eating out today, since I got paid

do not forget to take my medications!

morning journaling and night journaling

doing my skincare in the morning and at night

keeping up with my hygiene in general, like brushing teeth, shower exfoliation, Shaving, etc (kinds like having a self care maintenance day)

💕 Song of The Day: Girls Never Die - tripleS

this is my favorite song to listen to on the bus home from work at the moment

not much left to say, but today will definitely be a good day for me! I'll make sure of it

til next time lovelies 🩷

[armando-triplepapito]

Dang crazy how Roberto left part of his acciones to Betty! (not 100% sure but it’s pretty obvious)

Ngl if I were Marcela I’d be pissed but mostly betrayed especially since she viewed him as a second father. In her defense it would’ve been normal to expect she’d get some of Roberto’s share. He knew how much Marcela loved Ecomoda. Tho it’s too early to assume anything.

What I’m guessing is that Doña Margarita died before Roberto so who knows maybe she gave Marcela some of her shares and Marcela then felt entitled to Roberto’s as well? Or maybe Roberto did leave something for Marcela which he thought would’ve been more valuable than his acciones but Marcela didn’t viewed it as such?🤔 idk but I can already sense Marcela is going to blame Betty for not inheriting anything…

Okay prediction time!:

I think Marcela’s overall goal was to win the presidency for her son (or who ever that guy is, he’s definitely a Valencia).

I’m assuming Betty was president before she left for two years. Something happened which Marcela was able to ask for Betty’s head.

While voting for the presidency she probably lost due to majority rule and Armando took over as president. She was fine with it cause she probably knew he wasn’t going to last long. With Betty out of the picture and with Roberto’s death she was certain her son will take the presidency because she assumed she will inherit some of Roberto’s acciones. She probably wouldn’t have won majority vote but she could’ve won cause her vote would’ve had more weight with Roberto’s acciones.

Obviously Betty got the acciones and became president again and which ruined Marcela’s plan…

Obviously Marcela’s pissed and will now go above and beyond for her son to become president.

And that’s where another prediction come in!

What if she convinces her son to seduce Camila?👀 it’s history repeating itself! Camilla will go through what Betty did! A man seducing her for Ecomoda…

^but yea idk about this prediction tho💀 i can already guess that Hugo’s assistant (im assuming) will try to seduce Camila. But I don’t think it’s for Ecomoda but for another sick intention. That will be the difference between Marcela’s kid and Hugo’s assistant.

Also I wouldn’t be surprised if Marcela’s kid actually falls in love with Camila (again history repeating itself) and that’s how Marcela will get her redemption. Having to watch her son fall in love with a Mendoza just like her , watching them end up together just how she wished for herself. She will then understand that the hate she carried is a waste and will finally get along with Betty finally restoring the strong bond between the Mendoza & Valencia’s.

So yea that’s what I’m expecting as subplots for this sequel…

[fictionkinfessions]

Being from several sources where reincarnation is canon is... Idk it's somehow very reassuring and comforting. Like yeah, it's always been a thing for me, and it still is. The sky is blue, the sun is warm, and reincarnation is not only possible but more or less common, depending on certain stuff.

One day, I will remember this life and miss the friends and family I connected with, grew up with. I'll miss my sweet clingy cat, and getting margaritas with my father, and those little flecks of light that kept my head above water during the hard times. Maybe I'll draw myself, or lament about having lost the skill- perhaps in that life, I will gain skills I always wished to have in this one, and relish in that joy.

It's a nice thought to have; that this has always been a reality for me.

c

[gabelesimp]

Okay, This is some hardcore shit but-

TW: Drinking, Alcohol

But, how high is their alcohol tolerance?

Both Humans and Gods!!

Norse Pantheon!

Valkyries: Brunhilde, Hrist, Geirölul and Thrud may have a high tolerance for alcohol, only Wine and Spirit.

Thor and Odin: Yes.

Loki: Can only handle Wine(Idk, there's not many stories of him drinking in Norse mythology)

Seigfried: (How the fuck do you spell his name- I keep forgetting-) Yes.

Greek Pantheon!!

Zeus: Yes, but he'd throw up after.

Poseidon: Prefers Wine.

Hades: Same as Poseidon, but likes Champagne and sometimes likes gin.

Hermes: Just Wine.

Ares: He has a bit of a weak tolerance, and would totally black out.

Aphrodite: Same as Hermes.

Heracles: He doesn't drink (I mean, just look at him, does he drink??)

Apollo: Yes. He has a high tolerance, but only drinks during occasions.

Leonidas: Yes, Wine is at its finest. He would probably like Beer, Vodka and Margaritas once he tried them.

Hindu Pantheon!!

Shiva, Indra and Rudra: Fucking High. And of course, they like Mahua or rice beer or wine.

Shiva's wives(yes the three of them.): Take it lightly, and just drink for fun! Rice wine or if they want to take it to the next, Rum.

Asia!!

Seven Lucky Gods: Yes, except the young one (I forgot who they are-) Benzaiten loves to get drunk, while Bishamonten would scold her.

Zerofuku: No. The Innocent boy doesn't drink.

Buddha: kinda? Lol, drunk after two glasses

Kojiro Sasaki: Maybe? Gramps likes Sake or Amazake.

Okita: No.

Kintoki: Yes. Likes Awamori.

Qin Shi Huang: Yes. There's nothing that a king can't handle! Loves Osmanthus wine, Huangjiu and Baijiu.

Raiden: Yes, but doesn't drink often. Sake is his to go.

Lu Bu: Idk, He's like the type to likes to drink but doesn't at the same time-

Europe!!

Jack the Ripper: No, I don't think he drinks.

Nikola Tesla: Kinda? Often busy to drink.

Science crew: Newton has a high Tolerance, Marie and Noble do too. Galileo would take it easy, Einstein would too. But, Edison. He's a party animal-

Bible!!

Adam: No. He doesn't know what Alcohol is. (Including his family.)

Beelzebub: Maybe? Hades would invite him over for some wine.

Lilith: Yes, Wine Momma.

Lucifer: Lol, Yes. He loves Rum.

(RAAAAAAAA IDK ANYMOREEE)

Honorary Mentions: @average-lovejoy-listener, @kushii-huang, @riseofamoonycake ❣️❣️

[oneforthemunny]

halloween movie word association with the eddies

bride of chucky (specifically lol) is so rockstar!eddie. the sound track, the vibes, tiffany. it's so him in every way he would love it. you think he has a little crush on tiffany and maybe he does, bc the year it comes out, you dress up as chucky and tiffany for your halloween photos.

older!eddie idk i feel like he'd love practical magic. i think we cannoned he's kinda a rom com guy and it's close-ish??? a rom com halloween classic that he looks forward to each year. big fan of making midnight margaritas with you (bc tequila makes him horny lol).

mafia!eddie isn't big on horror, like he'll watch it but it kinda bores him after a while and i think in his free time he'd want something tamer, so i'm going with a classic- the addams family. i've said forever gomez and morticia is literally him and reader, and i think he'd just love that they're quirky and weird.

cowboy!eddie is the opposite lol. he loves a gory, gross movie that has you squirming and hiding in his shoulder and chest, peeking out only to lurch back in bc it's so foul. i'm going (with the cowboy theme in mind for funsies) he loves texas chainsaw massacre the first one, specifically. you're always petrified bc how can he watch that and be ok being alone after?? lol

bouncer!eddie loves scream. any scream movie, all scream movies. he loves the idea of the phone calls and the suspense of it all. it actually keeps his attention and he likes the mask lol.

janitor!eddie loves edwards scissorhands and it is so him and his vibe you can fight me on it but i'm not changing my mind EVER. the idea that this normal, perfect girl falls in love for a "freak"... he feels so seen. and he loves peg and the all black leather contrast to the pastel world ahhh!!! i could go on for days!!!

modern!eddie... i'm gonna ruffle some feathers here, but he's a nightmare before christmas guy and yeah... he's one of those guys i'm sorry. makes it his whole personality and def has a jack skellington tattoo lol. he watches it year round, but 10000% has decorations that are all that theme (and keeps them up year round lmao).