#maybe i really am getting better
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i had a terrible day but strangely i’m mentally feeling pretty good. what’s that about
#all the data on my laptop was erased and cannot be retrieved. had therapy and brought up an emotional topic that i’d only briefly touched#on before. had an argument with my mother which made me feel like shit for an hour or two.#but now i’m just? fine? better than fine? in a pretty good mood and feeling hopeful and productive#maybe i really am getting better#wren speaks
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Old looping animation I banged out in like 2 days last year that I never had a place to post it but now I do so here it is
#hand drawn animation#digital art#the band ghost#the smoke was a pain but also really fun to do#maybe I should post the better version bc that is a thing that also exists#but it is 1:30 am and I cannot be bothered to get out of bed to go get that version off my ipad
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Angsty teenage shenanigans have me so hyped
(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)
#our life#olnf#olnf qiu#qiu lin#our life qiu#our life 2#our life now and forever#our life mc#incorrect quotes#not canon!#is this maybe a touch out of character? perhaps but that's the fun of incorrect quotes!#also i have a favorite vers of qiu if you couldn't tell from me choosing the same hair and accessories in both iq i've done of them#i'm really looking forward to step 2 if you couldn't tell#i'm def getting faster at making these but am i getting better? who knows!#Psst! Hey! Send me incorrect quote ideas in the askbox and maybe I'll make them 👀👀
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lol just saw a lesbian nsft blog that has “men dni” on every single post and yet their pinned post says, “this doesnt include trans men, since that isn’t clear for some reason” like hello????
#i wonder why it’s unclear!!! i can’t imagine!!!!!!#idk maybe i’m being too sensitive#or like unintentionally misconstruing their words#but as a trans man that really reads to me as ‘men don’t interact but trans men are fine bc they aren’t Really men’#cis lesbians i am begging you to do better#or even just try. like at all really.#this might be swinging a bat at a hornets nest but idrc#it’s so fucking isolating to feel completely unwanted and invalidated in a community you’ve spent the majority of your life in#silas speaks#anyway.. get BLOCKED#terfs dni#anti transmasculinity#terf#lesbian#wlw#trans#transmasc#transmasculine#transgender#ftm#tboy swag#queer#queer community#trans pride#transmasc pride#trans ftm#transandrophobia#transmisandry#transmasc lesbian
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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— local mandalorian unimpressed by lightsaber duel. more at 11.
#keeping my 2024 watermark for one last drawing!! finished just in time hehe#happy new year please enjoy my beloved#messier than usual and i still dont really like it but i am trying to get better at leaving things imperfect 🫡#however#i have learned how to draw him so much better since april!!!#oc: kaja#my art#star wars oc#sw oc#star wars#maybe this year i will get brave enough to post his 10k+ lore document . or talk about him at all LMFAO
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hey @kindlespark! hope you had a happy holidays and a great new years! i was your secret santa for @paranaturalsecretsanta this year! you said your favorite characters were max and isabel and they are also your favorite friendship, so i took that and ran. hope you like it!!!
#paranatural#pnatsecretsanta2024#sorry that its so late i really pushed the posting period. i wanted to get it posted by jan 1 for you but. i failed that goal ✊😔#OTHER IDEAS I HAD. bc i had so many and didnt have the time to do them: 1. johnny continually trying to bully/fight max and after a while#the jang point out that hes keeping a lot of physical contact with max. johnny gets flustered and starts sputtering that its all a part of#the process and how else is he supposed to bully the dude??. the jang exchange a look#2. dimitri and cody having an l/light analysis moment trying to gauge how much the other knows about the supernatural. the trying to figure#if what theyre saying is going to seem too sus. etc etc. ya know?#3. mina dn spender both having a dream where theyre reliving their friend breakup. maybe having it go better than before. then realizing it#a dream and having to see each other in passing and live with that dream on their mind all day#4. mina and day going to the beach and mina seeing her thighs and spending the entire day getting more and more red throughout the day#at the end of the day val would try to get her to kiss her by going i wonder how i taste :0 and mina would short circuit#my art#this is unrelated but i am so insanely happy about that stupid gif :)
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The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences
#x 2022#pearl#maxxxine#x series#strait-jacket#psycho#what ever happened to baby jane#horror#psycho-biddy#hagsploitation#made this whole big thing which i still might post eventually but. in terms of aesthetics. this abridged version is better lol#i'm not gonna finish the other post tonight but consider this a preview of sorts#i can't stop thinking about what if they leaned more into the 'hagsploitation' aspect of it all lol#i actually find it odd + off-putting that they start and end maxxxine with a bette davis reference#with a big significant psycho cameo at the bates motel itself#and there's not really any payoff for those allusions!!#i think if you're gonna try to tie into a legacy of older horror films you should do it in a sincere way#because that just felt like 'elevated horror' bonus points + nostalgia bait#anyway. it's fun to think about the potential it had + how all the building blocks exist within the narrative to do something interesting#and i am a 1960s hagsploitation subgenre apologist lol#what ever happened to baby jane? changed my brain chemistry the first time i watched it as a kid#so maybe i'm just nostalgia baiting myself making these connections lmao#but it could have been so good#it could have been the perfect synthesis of the shared themes across all three movies#but i don't think hagsploitation gets butts in movie theater seats like girlboss 80s nostalgia vaguely true crime related shit#oh wait also i guess calling psycho a hagsploitation movie is like. probably not 100% accurate#but it is though. it's not an inversion of the subgenre bc the subgenre didn't exist yet#but it builds up a mystery 'psycho-biddy' character only to reveal that she's not the murderer#which is also what happens in strait-jacket so i think it counts!!#+ psycho is directly referenced in all 3 movies so it’s a pretty clear influence on the trilogy as a whole
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Slowly introducing my mephone4 fanart to Tumblr this is probably the most normal one it only gets weirder and worse from here
#OH GOD WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU#object shows#How do you tag osc stuff here I am confused#osc art#ii mephone4#art#Uhhhhh#I've made so much mephone4 fanart in the span of like two weeks I have like 4 fully rendered drawings guys it's not ok#inanimate insanity#I ALMOST FORGOT THAT TAG..#ii osc#mephone4 inanimate insanity#Maybe I would get more interaction if I tagged my posts better but I don't think I really care#Mephone4 they will never make me hate you..#Mephone4 I am sorry for projecting my mental illnesses onto you#I'm working on another mephone drawing RIGHT NOW and no one can stop me#Uhhhhh that was all goodbye#Osc I am scared of you
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Back at it again with another theory: What if Lucanis’ betrayal wasn’t a betrayal at all?
(obviously, spoilers below the cut)
During The Wigmaker Job, we have some dialogue between Illario and Lucanis about their position within both the Crows and the Dellamorte family. Illario wants Caterina to step down so he can take the coveted First Talon spot. Lucanis reassures him that his time is coming, to which Illario makes a snide comment about whether his cousin would ever go against their grandmother’s wishes. When they continue the conversation after the job, Illario states that Lucanis is the potential heir, that he’s her favorite, and that he’s unlikely to say no to her. Lucanis doesn’t argue, only insists that he doesn’t want to be First Talon, and that he hopes she’ll see reason before that. It’s mentioned again in Eight Little Talons - Caterina favors Lucanis. It’s well-known enough among the Crows that Viago and Teia discuss it in front of her (not on purpose, but she doesn’t deny it). He’s her prodigy through and through.
In the opening scene for the Lucanis quest in Veilguard, Caterina is poised, as you’d expect of the First Talon. She’s certain that the body they buried wasn’t her grandson, that it had been altered with blood magic. She doesn’t pose it as a theory, though: she poses it as a fact. It could, of course, merely be her confidence, but there’s another very unusual aspect to the scene – everyone else discusses how Lucanis was clearly betrayed, that someone must have sold him out in order for the Venatori to capture him. Caterina is the only one in that room who never speaks on it. She doesn’t ask for justice, doesn’t mention vengeance, never acknowledges that her grandson was sold out by someone he trusted – perhaps because he wasn’t.
What if, when Caterina comes to him with a plan, with an impossible request, he’s still her favorite prodigal grandchild, and he still does whatever she asks? She’s had him tortured before as a child, has tortured and starved and beaten him herself before, because it makes him stronger and more resistant to it in the future. He says in The Wigmaker Job that he used to hate her for it, but now he understands. He justifies it. All Crows justify it, because they have to - if they don’t, then the cruelty wasn’t for survival’s sake, and their suffering meant nothing. Perhaps he doesn’t even question it. When Caterina tells him that she has a job for him, he takes it.
What if the contract has a caveat? Sure, Calivan must die by his hand by the end of it, a little treat for a job well done, but what if his primary mission is reconnaissance, is discovery? The Venatori are using blood magic to torture and corrupt prisoners. It would behoove the Crows to find out what it entails and how to resist it, before it’s turned back on them. It would have to be someone so deeply, unabashedly loyal to her that when she asked them to infiltrate a Venatori prison, expecting torture at best, their own death at worst, they’d take the job anyway, no questions asked - someone Caterina can trust, certainly, but also someone who has never once said no to her.
And Lucanis has always been a loyal grandson.
#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#da posting#maybe it’s also just because she thinks it would make him stronger and that’s how she always justifies it to herself because she’s evil!!!!#she’s MICRODOSING her GRANDSON with BLOOD TORTURE and DEMONS to fashion him into A BETTER WEAPON#I keep hearing people be like ‘oh there’s a moment in the lucanis storyline where I GASPED’#and other than like ‘he was dead the entire time’ I’m like…… what would be that shocking#and you know what would be that shocking??#if he put himself through it on purpose#envisioning a line where he’s like ‘when Caterina told me to go I didn’t ask questions because I’m a good crow!!!!!’#(also I think that would REALLY give a good bite to his demon being SPITE of all things)#also also I still think that Illario kills caterina (if she’s actually dead) but y’know what?#if he does GOOD FOR HIM#also lucanis just happening to be bursting out of his cell when you get there…. SUSPECT#was he just ready to break out at any time? if so why did he stay and get tortured for a YEAR?#why were the guards so afraid of him?? what was he capable of???#‘you’re a crow’ or ‘but you’re not a crow’ ohhhh so you were expecting a rescue?#oh I am CONNECTING the DOTS (I haven’t connected shit) I’VE CONNECTED THEM#voelene#your caterina + illario post started these wheels turning and I am eternally grateful#also tho did update this slightly because I forgot about their conversation at the end of TWJ#also got so wrapped up in my hatred of caterina that I failed to consider another emotionally devastating option:#that lucanis was the one who wanted to go and caterina covered for him#now THAT’S got some bite to it too#and maybe Lucanis volunteering to take on a demon is why it doesn’t possess him fully#it’s like a wynne/anders thing it’s symbiotic
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How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)
(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)
i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.
for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange
If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:
Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...
EN's official translation is this:
So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.
while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).
Here's some examples:
Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)
HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)
Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)
Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)
What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.
Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.
It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.
Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.
In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.
"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.
Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:
Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!
And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:
That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).
It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.
oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.
read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.
#since the EN translation qualifies as a leak i am scheduling this to post when the event drops#asks#mod talks#i'm going to leave this in the tags because i don't want to make the post any longer#but something that's been really annoying to see recently on twt has been the gradual uptick of players saying that there's no queer#characters/subtext/etc in the game outside mizuki being trans. and i do wonder if EN's consistent habit of toning down#or outright removing moments of heavy subtext and other more ambiguous shiptease moments has anything to do with it.#that or people live under a rock because even EN keeps most of An and Kohane's relationship intact and there's still plenty of#moments that were impossible to edit or tone down due to being plot relevant or being part of longer interactions that wouldn't make sense#if part of it was changed. like the An wedding event.#eh maybe people are just ignorant.#but anyway it does bug me immensely that EN-only players are getting a censored version of the game. it's 2024. staff can do better.#also like i mentioned in the part about rin. they /add in/ things occasionally. so why the hell are they removing so much?
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Decided to redesign my own redesigns of the Trix once again, because I support women's wrongs <3
(old version here)
here's also a speedpaint where I talk a but more about them: https://youtu.be/CPxklymWu8I
#winx club#trix#digital art#character design#winx fanart#clip studio paint#i'm so glad to finally be done with this lol.#don't get me wrong. I'm happy with the designs now and I'm so glad I can close this chapter but man am i tired#feels good to finally put a lid on the winx brainworms i got infected with years ago at this point. off to bigger and better? things#or at least different things#anyway I'm really happy with my Stormy. she's my fave out of these despite me having no clue what to do with her at the start.#or maybe i just like red. much to think about
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Bitter medicine by the crane wives is about undiagnosed adhd. By the way
#ugly sobbing ober the song#ugh#the crane wives#maybe not adhd specifically#but my overall mixture of troubles and problems#underacheiving eldest sibling#something about feeling like i have to shield everyone from my problems because its not their responsibility to fix them#and any sypmathy or help or even love they give me is wasted and better used somewhere else#yet at the same time trying so so hard to get all that and earn it and failing so hard without even knowing why#this isnt even a vent really i am just dissecting#this is strictly academic
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Raise your hand if you feel utterly behind in life 🫠
#i told my therapist that i'm tired of being lazy#sorry for the L word#i just have no energy or motivation to do much of literally anything except distracting myself from the pain#of everything that should be done#i'm JUST a guy. but also an adult who should idk know better??? but i don't i am SO unbelievably lost#and it really just feels like I'm alone in this feelind and I know I'm not but the people around me don't seem to get it#or maybe I just need to lock in and get over myself#but I really really can't lmfao#ANYWAYS-
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To volve
Aka My horrid amalgamation of different scenes from batgirl 2000 for @casscainweek day 4 (quotes|panels) :)
#ooohhh cass shes so cool characters when they have a chatarcter arc augh#casscainweek2025#cass cain#cassandra cain#dc#and for anyone curious what panels/quotes im loosely referncing its all from batgirl 2000 like i said. purple hoodie is the am i volving?#scene my beloved#foreground cass is from when she tells whats his face that you can change#and background cass is her before her death match with shiva saying and then il die#because i am insane about all of that and more#cass is so cool guys for real she is in my brain#duuudeee women when they go thinking perfection for a year is worth death rather than being meidorce and girls when they are filled with#dread that nothing they will do will forgive them from their sins but maybe you can change or you must be able to change because otherwise#she might as well kill herself and girls when they realise they have come far from that horrible place she was and that she is in motion an#and really she can change she is changing and if she can change so can everyone and maybe everyone can change and volve becauuse we are in#motion and im gonna throw up#and then her city blows up and whats even the point duudeeeee#shes just in a better place by the end cradeling my head duudeeeee#most fucked up woman ever filled with so much hope or is it hope who fucking knows maybe its just guilt i dunno but like she gets betterdud#ahem#yes#wohoo cass week. sadly dont have time for more art tho ://#also casscainweek mods hope its ok to tag ypu guys? makes it easier for people to find your blog so i hope you dont mind :)
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it is amazing what fathers will do and think is a good idea. "Hi I sold your car (that your godmother very kindly gave you) without warning you and am only telling you ahead of your mother arriving with the one I traded it for because she threatened to just not come if I didn't warn you ahead of time. Isn't she such a drag for ruining a good surprise?"
#Tldr my mom wants a new car and my jeep is a piece of shit(affectionate) so shes taking my jeep and leaving her current car with me#until she buys the new car.#My jeep is a 98 Grand Cherokee and everything is wrong with her but thats still my car man#My mom doesn't like that the jeep doesn't have airbags cruise control or a back up camera and needs new suspension#She only has a trade in value of like 300 bucks but my moms car. mini. is something she and i are very attached to#as opposed to the jeep which only i am attached to#Like i know its better and im getting a really good deal but im still really upset about this#idk maybe i just need to stop being ungrateful
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