#sorry i am not having a good art day today
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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💘
#this might be the most scribble thing I post here yet bahahahahahahahahahahaaha#I still like how the hands turned out even though I didn’t finish them😇#but it’s pretty messy and the hands might be the only part I like🥲#but since this blog is my art journey documentation here you are#I was pretty busy today so no good art but maybe tomorrow we’ll see#I am preparing things to FINALLY answer my asks🥹#& if you tagged me in anything I actually have been meaning to respond!!!!!!!! my notifications are the WORST and so confusing on here😵💫#and I’m technology grandma…#hope u all have had an amazing day !!!! 🫶#my brother in law has been fishing and catching SO MANY sargo#(sargo = sea bream for the animal crossing playing English speakers😙)#AND ITS LITERALLY SOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS !!!!!#i cook it in the weirdest way possible#you just have to gut the fish and cut off its fins etc#then you put it in a wet salt bed and cover it up…cook it for 30 min…AND VOILA ITS DONE !!!!!#I don’t add any spices…NOTHING…and this fish literally has the taste and texture of crab covered in butter#LIKE…😳 it might be my favorite food/fav thing to cook these days bc it’s so easy and fresh caught fish is just delicious😫#well that was my grandma cooking show of the day👩🍳#now you know how to cook sargo a la sal 👩🍳#also going back to the drawing🥹 I just love these two so much…#I love thinking of sweet moments…most of my angst is confined to writinc😆#the chapter I’m writing right now is SO ANGST DEPRESSING (sorry Eloise)#it will get better…I promise…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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WA!
#my art#Sona: EIM#Am feeling very tired today#probably wont do any requests at the moment very sorry#I might push down the length of the requests by a day or two#since I'm planning on doing a little thing on the 24th#Maybe put it down to the 22nd or something#that's all#have a good day :)
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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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hi it's me. bulletpoints
job has concluded! barring sudden expansion on the project I think that's gonna be it for my work here. six character cards in total! this leads to
wrists are bit fucked. I'll be putting that thang (creen tablet) in da closet again for at least a month while trying to hold as few heavy objects as possible for the time being
why one month deadline? well it's bc I made an artfight account. I'm fucking doing it this year on god I'll kick anyone's ass I'll kick my own ass. I'll post a link to my acc a week or so before the event starts, meanwhile I'll keep updating my roster and cleaning up this cardboard box I arrived at their door in. do u guys have a spare pair of suspenders I have a really funny joke to make
will be doing it on the creen tablet, unless I make enough to get a new graphic tablet that works with SAI2 inbetween. on that note
ink comms should come back sometimes next week babeyy I need to get back into da groove! miss my G pen it feels like I was close to something last time. I wanna get back to it. but also
I'm writing a fic now. tis the season it seems this happened last year too. but I'll try my best to not disappear off the face of the earth for 3 months running again lol I'll do my best to pace myself, since this is gonna be one of the heftier writing things.
sk8 people and another very specific subset of people will be pleased to know it's a sk8 Real Steel AU. if this means nothing to u carry on. have a good day. to the five people still here I'll probably be brainposting abt writing this so don't be surprised if that comes up here and there
circling back a bit I'm currently 120 USD away from the graphic tablet I wanna get, so that'll be what the ink comms are going toward. otherwise if u enjoy my art and have a spare doller to buy the baku a coffee I'd absolutely appreciate ur support! not mandatory but I'll definitely be very thankful! especially bc
I'll probably phase out the redbubble store some time in the future. at the very least I'll probably stop uploading new things on there while looking for alternative. ohh baby they are doing some wild shit and I want off the ride please. please
but yeah. that's the current plan for things. I've accepted that comics happen when they want to, and I have faith they still want to see the sunlight some time this year. meanwhile we keep busy keep training keep recovering! thank u for ur patience. have a good night take this sharp object
#bakuspeech#boy oh boy. its been a Month#hi. I received a sticker sheet and a clay pin of frogs today. its been good#art wise Ive been on day three of drawing break. and day. something. of writing this fic#I! kind of! know how itll end! but if nothing I know I am so willing to improv this shit to the bitter confusing end#you guys dont get to see the proof of that sorry. but my friend yumi specifically u know. u know#at least nobody died graphically ten thousand years ago in space this time#this year has been real fuckin topsy turvy so far art wise. but I have learned a lot! including to fuckign pace myself. and I am practicing#straight up had at least three unrelated art and art-adjacent breakdown in the last three months lmao. its so. this is so#well. Im better now. I am so smart and I kick my own ass so well. we good! we are good. dw abt me!#hope ur having a good day. games official ship date now lands in october. my art will be out there in peoples hands soon......#ah. well right now I need to sleep. or finish ryan chongoshows hifi rush stream series. whichever applies first#have a good night lads! do a twirl to skip this level
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You know what? No. You can't be an artist without experiencing a little torture and hardship in life.
#if everything comes your way no problem and you didn't even have doubts beforehand then can you call yourself an artist?#that sounds more like luck to me rather than making good art#sorry i am BITTER today idk th is wrong w me#oh wait my period is due in like four days#having a bad hot take day
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idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"
#like “i think this is a bad game” is way less abrasive/aggressive than “this is a bad game”#do u know where im going w this like#it's literally 2 extra words and it could avoid like 99% of confrontation#ofc there would still be people who are like “omg how can u hate smth i like ur trash” but idk i feel like so much of this discourse u see#on twt especially#is like ? just people being deliberately aggressive abt stuff they dont like to antagonise others and then going “its just my opinion”#and it's hard to read tone online so it's often hard for me (and im sure for others ?? idk actually) to read whether or not sm1 is being#like. just sharing what they think vs them trying to bait out people who will defend smth they like#idk ive been trying to find ffxiv people to follow bc getting back into the game and finally being confident in my art to draw for it also#has me looking for ppl to follow but i wanna avoid the big livetweet first time experiencers and unfortunately that leaves#a lot of people who are afraid of dawntrail/unhappy with the current patch quests#of which i am neither and i also dont want to log on to the internet every day just to see ppl shitting on things u know ?#and i have seen a LOT of like#'x sucked' and 'fandom lacks critical reading skills' and whatnot#but then u see what theyre talking abt and all theyre doing is shitting on the game itself or going 'x expansion was mid'#like . if u stopped phrasing ur opinions as objective fact i feel like maybe ud avoid half those arguments id k???#just words#SORRY im talkative today the truth is i worked on a drawing veyr hard and i do not have the strength to colour it but it will not look good#without colour and i feel like i cant move on without it so i went and replayed shadowbringers instead and cried a lot#and now i have lots of icarus feelings again#WOW loiok at me writing an essay out here i overshare so much im sorry
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Happy with my crochet today because I had the most work done on my ongoing project (a scarf for my long distance best friend) in percentage since I started :) I'm becoming faster and more precise wooh
#also made a cake today#and cooked for my sister#for a day that started off like shit i sure was able to make it better :D#i am learning new hobbies. i am becoming more independent. i have a job interview on the 31st#and if everything goes well I'll have my dysphoria diagnosis on February 1st#booked a tattoo appointment. thinking about organising a little weekend trip for the next month on my crush's idea#doing a lot of active local politics. participating in and sometimes in the organisation of art / cultural small events and parties#it's a very bad period mentally emotionally and sometimes physically. but I'm reminding myself all that because it can also be good#i have the power of making it good#anyways. sorry for all this list of things in the tags#this was meant to be a little personal post but i got carried away and ended up writing some kind of diary hahaha#thank you if you read all this!#personal
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I decided this year that being introverted was no excuse for avoiding people, and that I needed to focus less on shyness and more on community building and Being Brave For Once, and so naturally one of the steps I took was attending an English department socialization event today--the first time I have ever attended one of their events. And boy did that come This Close to making me regret stepping out of the house
#if you ever find yourself in an enclosed space with twelve english majors i'm telling you SHOUT A HASTY GOODBYE AND SCOOT#that's an exaggeration sorry i love english majors also i am one so i feel some license to make fun every once in a while#HOWEVER#if y'all have ever sat through 15+ minutes of arts major girls complaining about the Trials of being a woman and whining about Men......#in front of the ONE MAN who showed up for the party. poor boy#it is an incomparable experience and one that i would not wish on anybody#on another point the eng department party that showed up hit all the bingos today in terms of conversation:#death of the author. book piracy (one of the exec team girls ADVOCATED for this). how Evil the british monarchy is#(like. girls the queen just passed away last year also can we please not ridicule people in this very contemptuous and cruel way)#gender and politics. gender and ideology. gender and--you get it#cheating in class (one of the exec team girls ADVOCATED for this too)#complaining about the university's policies and system.#also did i mention complaining about Men#it was a Lot and i hobbled back home with a headache#am i going back?? remains to be seen!!!! GOOD GRIEF what a day#slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21
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Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.
Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.
Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader
(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.
Art by @asteriscks on TikTok
This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.
Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.
It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman.
You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday.
Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake.
_
It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account.
Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?
Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.
"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.
"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains.
What?
"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."
"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"
"No..."
You already knew what that meant: double payment.
"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."
You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.
"No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."
Your eyes widened.
Now?
"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"
"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."
Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him.
"The keys?"
With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.
What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?
You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.
Thank God, I didn't hit him.
"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."
What!?
How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes.
"You’re telling me this now!?"
"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know."
That filthy bastard.
No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.
What were you going to do now?
Shit.
"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.
Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.
Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.
"But maybe we can agree on something.
Then you stopped.
"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."
Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer!
"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"
"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”
_
Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks.
Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.
But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.
_
"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."
After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.
I'm going to die today!
After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.
“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."
Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall.
Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01
Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04
Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02
Steven Rudboys F03 – 03
Mia Stone F03 – 01
Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04
Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors.
"I wish you good luck."
C’mon Reader, be like Henry…
But better.
The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.
"Good evening."
Was she real? Was she a doppelganger?
With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?
Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance:
Long hair
Small round nose
She has freckles
...
...
...
Freckles?
Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window.
You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.
No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles.
"You look different...", you murmur after a while.
"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."
Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles.
Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.?
You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye.
Shit.
She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.
Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down.
"3312," you murmur to yourself.
"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."
Cleaning protocol?
What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they?
What if they will?
What if your judgment was wrong?
What if...
Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.
"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."
It took a while until someone finally came again.
This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear.
Milkman...
You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen.
You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away.
"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."
"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."
Long nose
Thin chin
Tired eyes
Short hair
Wears a hat
It all fit. The only thing left now was a call.
Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."
"Yes, today is my first day."
"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."
Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.
"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."
Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.
"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."
You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.
What milk do you mean exactly?
My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?
"I'd be delighted, Francis."
You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone.
"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"
And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name.
You pressed the green button.
_
"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear.
It was your third day, your third time to change shift.
Well, it usually would have been.
Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.
He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.
You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.
"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"
He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him.
"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"
The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.
Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....
Oh?
He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning.
Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you.
Were you so shameful?
"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore. I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."
You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him.
His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”
If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?
Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.
_
"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day.
Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.
"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."
Well, he had a point, huh?
No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that.
You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.
"Have you killed more people?"
"Just more doppelgangers you let through."
Your eyes widened.
You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.
"How many have I let through?"
Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.
"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"
You just nod, smiling.
"Are you going to kill others...?
You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special.
"Would you kill for me?"
"Hooooonn"
When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black.
You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.
_
Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes.
But honestly?
You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.
When you look up, he waves, the milkman.
#francis mosses#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses x you#x reader#x gn reader#x you#x y/n#yandere#milkman#milkman x reader#that's not my neighbor x reader#yandere francis mosses#yandere milkman
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batmom Cass progress post
(masterpost)
Far Too Young: Cassandra Wayne, Teen Mother Debutante?
Danny cringed away from the headline on the newspaper sitting on the coffee table. “I am so sorry,” he said miserably. Someone must have reported on that first day in the city. Why'd they sit on the story for so long? That was the only time he'd been in public with Cass. So far, he'd only left Wayne Manor with Damian and Alfred to volunteer at the animal shelter.
Cass blinked up at him, from her perch on the back of the sofa. “Don't be,” she said. “It's fine. They will always talk.” Her face twitched into condescension. “It means nothing.”
He wrung his hands because it really did look like something. She hadn't given him the article and he wasn't quite bold enough to request to read it. But it couldn't be nice. Even the headline was judgmental.
“It would probably be for the best if we made a statement.” Grandfather Bat said out of nowhere.
Danny startled and jumped straight up. The chair creaked unhappily when he landed back on it.
“Brucedad,” Cass complained.
He huffed and held his hands up. “Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to startle anyone.”
Danny hunched a little more into his hoodie. Well. Tucker’s hoodie. It was way too big for Danny, especially after the weight he'd lost. But it was weirdly comforting. He fiddled with the sleeves.
“Cass, could we talk about it in my office?” Bruce said. His tone was calm and even. Danny sort of suspected it was for his benefit. “Danny, Damian is looking for you.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny let his heels drop off the chair, onto the carpet. “Yeah, okay. Where's he at?”
Danny found his 13 year old uncle out in the barn with his cow. Danny hopped the wooden gate to go inside and sneezed at the dust in the air from dried hay.
“Danny,” Damian acknowledged. He was brushing Batcow. “I hope that you are well this morning.”
Danny made that weird white person smile-grimace where only his lips moved. “Good morning,” he said, instead of either lying or being a bummer. “Are we going to the shelter today?”
Damian didn't pause. “Unfortunately, I have been told that it will not fit in Pennyworth’s schedule today,” he said primly. He dragged another long, precise stroke down Batcow’s fur, exactly lining up with his last stroke. Danny eyed his sure, confident motions. “Instead, I wondered if you would join me in a project in the barn. Have you any experience with wood working?”
“Nope.” Danny drifted a little closer. “Do you?”
“No.” Damian dropped to a crouch to take care of Batcow's hooves. “It is of no importance. We can overcome.”
“Hell yeah, Uncle D,” Danny agreed genially. Why not? He shoved his hands in his pockets. “What are we making?”
“Storage shelving, for materials intended for art therapy.” Damian made one final brisk movement and rose in a smooth motion. He hung up the tools and brushed his hands off. Danny followed Damian as he started to leave.
“Art therapy?” Danny echoed curiously. “That's neat. For ….you?” He ventured.
‘It’s for me,’ Danny thought wryly. ‘This 13 year old takes his responsibility as my Uncle seriously. He'll say it's for him, but want me there, and-’
“Of course not,” Damian scoffed. “It is for Jerry and Batcow. They have unresolved traumas.” He pulled the door shut behind them. “We will require lumber from the storage unit, as well as an assortment of power tools. I am disallowed from using them without the presence of someone who is taller than 5 feet, or older than 20.”
“That is awfully specific.” Danny eyed Damian suspiciously. “I'm not going to get in any trouble for this, right?” He followed even as Damian picked up the pace a little as they crossed the huge green lawn towards a shed.
“Tt.” Damian tapped in a code at lightning speed and then hefted open the door. “No. You will be fine.” He said flatly. He stalked into the dark space. Danny followed and sneezed at the dusty interior. “Can you lift 50 pounds?”
Danny sniggered. “Yeah, easily,” he said with confidence.
Damian hummed in the back of his throat. “Good. You shall be the beast of burden.”
That was such a wild thing to say that Danny blinked twice while processing it. Beast of burden?!? Who said that?
“... I'm not sure I like that,” Danny teased. “Have you heard that I'm the baby?” He gestured at himself. Weedy as he was, he was still noticeably larger than Damian.
“You should be proud,” Damian said in a dry tone. “to be such an accomplished baby. Here.” He pointed at a bundle of lumber. “I require this.”
Danny was a burdened beast back and forth between the shed and the barn for three trips to assemble everything that Damian thought they would need. The preteen oversaw it all with perfect aplomb, dark eyes glittering as his plan started to come together.
There was a learning curve.
“That's why they say to measure twice and cut once, huh,” Danny observed. He pursed his lips at the board that was only about half an inch too short for their purpose. They couldn't like, glue or nail on a slight extension, could they?
“We shall throw this in the woods so that no one discovers our failure.” Damian lifted one side of the poorly cut plank and dragged it to the back of the barn into an unused stall. It dragged a line through the loose straw cushioning the floor.
“He's so little,’ Danny thought hysterically. He could not laugh at Damian. He absolutely could not. The little guy took himself so seriously. Danny was actually shaking with the effort not to laugh or coo.
Damian seemed to have no idea. “For the moment I will store it out of sight here.” He let the plank fall to the ground from an inch or so and then shut the stall door. Danny watched with his head cocked to the side and a hand pressed over his lips to hide his grin.
“We have two more excess planks.” Damian went back to business.
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Mae!!! I am so happy to see you opening up requests for Thawing Out because I am genuinely OBSESSED and I haven’t stopped thinking about it 💖💖💖 So, what if during practice, Remus (unknowingly, obviously) said something to r, like making a correction or something, and it’s something Peter had said. And Sirius recognizes it too!! And you can decide what happens 🥰 Love you! 💖
Thank you for requesting lovely <33
collab with @ellecdc
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16
cw: modern au, chronic pain, Peter mention
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 2k words
You’re an angel on the ice. Gliding and sweeping, your movements so ethereal Sirius half expects to look down and find that your skates are floating above the surface of the ice, or that you’ve etched the next great work of art into the canvas beneath your feet. But he doesn’t, because it’s clear as day that the true art is in the creation, and it’s got its fingers clasped around his. Sirius feels lucky to bear witness.
You have the look of someone who’s given themselves over to their craft, your expression poised but eyes sparkling as you transition neatly from one move to the next until you’re coasting alongside Sirius. You’re wearing leg warmers today, far from unconventional in your sport but it’s humiliating how adorable he finds it on you. Your nails are short and neat, fingers surprisingly warm in his own, eyelashes fluttering as you tilt your head back.
You make it look easy. The way you arch your back until you’re nearly parallel to the ice, skating on only the edge of one skate while Sirius draws you in a circle around him. He starts to lower himself, finding the position you’d practiced off ice. Your grip on his hand is strong, your head tilting until the hairs escaping from your bun are whipping just above the ice, until Sirius is sure you can feel its chill on the back of your neck, and he can’t do it.
He keeps you a few inches above where he knows you’re supposed to be, holds you there with the momentum of his spin, and then hoists you up and into your spin.
You look at him bemusedly as you land on your other skate, a questioning flicker of eye contact Sirius pretends not to notice. You finish out the rest of your routine perfectly.
“That was great,” Remus says from the entryway. Sirius has noticed that he’s taken to watching you from there rather than from the bleachers on days when his hip isn’t giving him as much trouble. He wonders if Remus is almost tantalizing himself, standing on the edge of the ice but knowing he can’t go further. “Y/n, you had a lovely arch going into the spiral, but I want to see you stay more on that outside edge during the lutz-loop combination. Just play it safe on that one, alright?”
“Yeah.” You nod, looking encouraged. “Sorry, I felt myself slip a bit there.”
“You managed it just fine,” Remus reassures you. He gives you a gentle smile, and Sirius stomach does something fluttery and unsanctioned. “It’s good that you noticed, we only want to keep an eye on it, yeah?”
You smile in reply. The commotion in Sirius’ stomach worsens.
“And Sirius,” Remus turns to him, “we still have to get a bit lower on the spiral. Her head should be below her knee.”
Sirius frowns. “I know.”
It’s a non-answer and Remus knows it, but he doesn’t snipe back at him. His brows twitch together thoughtfully. “We’ve still got a few days. Do you need more time to practice off ice?”
“No,” Sirius replies. He wishes the other boy would get angry with him, give him something to shoot back at, something other than kindness and temperance and this lame, irksome understanding. He almost wants to roll his eyes as he adds, “I’ll work on it.”
Remus seems (frustratingly) appeased with that. “Alright, just be careful on your left pick when you get down there.” His voice takes on a teasing lilt. “We don’t need any more accidents this close to competition, Pads.”
Sirius waits for the flash of irritation. But your laughter rings out brilliant and lovely, and Remus is smiling at the both of you with something like fondness, and he can’t seem to find it.
Fucking James. Sirius ought to know better than to automatically trust anyone his best friend likes—you’ve both suffered the consequences from that once already—but it’s difficult to summon his usual disdain for Remus after watching the two of them chinwag and snicker like old friends at practice the other day. It was odd seeing James so familiar with someone else, but Sirius found he couldn’t muster any jealousy. As much as he loathes to think of it, you were right—learning James and Remus were old friends did make him think. In ways that remind Sirius why thinking is one of his least favorite activities.
He shoots Remus the bird over his shoulder. Unfortunately, in doing so, he fails to notice a blemish in the ice which catches his skate, causing him to pitch forward before righting himself.
Remus’ lips twitch, but Sirius holds up a hand. “You can keep your quips to yourself.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Then you can keep your looks to yourself.”
You implement Remus’ alteration to your lutz-loop combination flawlessly. It’s something you’ve always been good at, confident enough to take feedback and skilled enough to make the changes stick. It’s part of why you’re as good as you are, the amalgamation of every scrap of advice you’ve ever received and a fierce determination that's all your own. You jump and spin and twist your way through the routine beautifully.
Sirius, on the other hand, is not so great with critiques. The death spiral stays exactly the way it is, with your head safely above the ice and neither of you low enough to get full points. And that’s likely how it will stay.
He can tell you and Remus are both getting more frustrated, more disappointed, every time he fails to take it all the way, but Sirius can’t bring himself to go any further. His heart won’t let him.
“We’ll do some more off ice tomorrow,” Remus decides for him as you both take off your skates. “We’ve got the time, everything else is looking beautiful. Sirius, maybe work on getting low on your own today, so we’ve less to cover tomorrow.” Sirius nods down towards his skates. He doesn’t feel like looking at either one of you. “And y/n, the only thing I’m still noticing from you is that landing on your triple axle. You’re a bit wobbly. I want you to focus on controlling your descent and really sticking it. It looks nearly perfect, you’re just making me a little nervous—this would be a shit time to have to go into an early retirement, wouldn’t it?”
It’s said lightly, a hint of a smile at the tail end, but your face twinges like he’s snapped at you. Remus’ brow furrows in mild confusion, and Sirius feels a hard fist clench in his chest. He wouldn’t know what had made you react like that either, if you hadn’t repeated Peter’s words to him yourself.
He told the other coach that I was one bad jump away from injuring myself into an early retirement.
“I’m not actually worried about that—you’re too skilled for an injury that severe to be very likely, I just,” Remus is watching you carefully, clearly trying to reason out where he went wrong, “thought I should bring it to your attention. Only as a precaution.”
You nod several times, quicker and harder than necessary. “Yeah.” Your lips press into a smile. “I’ll be careful, thanks.”
Sirius sets his hand on top of yours, shit at comfort but meaning to try anyway, but your hand slips away as you get up and sling your bag over your shoulder.
“I have to get home,” you say, squeezing Sirius’ shoulder as if in apology. Your expression is tight. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” Remus echoes. He watches you go with a half-remorseful look on his face, like he doesn’t know what he’s done but he feels bad for it anyway.
Seeing as you haven’t waited for him, Sirius supposes he’ll be walking home on his own today. He sets his skates in his bag, beginning to tug on his shoes.
Remus broaches the silence almost tentatively. “Did she seem alright to you?” Sirius doesn’t know how to respond to that, but the other boy goes on before he has to. “Did…do you know if I said something to upset her?”
Sirius shrugs. “Nope.”
Remus can probably smell the lie—he’s not gone to any great lengths to conceal it—but Sirius doesn’t care. The look of hurt on your face has set a familiar protective ire buzzing beneath his skin, and Remus is the one who caused it. Neither of you owe him any explanation.
Remus falls quiet again, but he waits while Sirius finishes packing up, walks with him towards the exit.
“How long have you and James been friends?” he asks.
“A long time,” Sirius answers shortly. “I moved in with him and his parents when I was sixteen.”
“Oh.” Remus turns to look at him. Sirius feels his gaze, wide and curious, on the side of his face. “Yeah, a long time, then. It was nice to talk to him again. We used to run into each other so often, but I hadn’t seen him since…well, since I left, I suppose.”
There’s a melancholy that lays itself down over those last few words, the nostalgia in Remus’ voice smothered underneath. Maybe it’s that quiet tone, maybe it’s the image of James and Remus together, laughing and talking about their futures on the ice during early mornings at the rink, but Sirius feels himself softening.
“He mentioned something,” Remus says tentatively, “about your last coach. It didn’t sound like things ended well.”
Sirius pushes out a breath. “They didn’t.”
“Was he not very good?”
“No,” he can hear the frustration seeping into his voice. He wishes Peter were worse at his job. That he’d been an idiot, didn’t understand your styles, and none of you had ever managed to get along. It would have made everything so much easier. “He was good.”
“I’m not trying to pry,” says Remus, “but if what happened with him is going to affect how you two are with me—if it has anything to do with how I upset y/n today—I would appreciate if you told me.”
So Sirius does. He’s not sparing with the details, and Remus doesn’t begrudge him the anger that grips him as he talks about Peter’s betrayal, where it left the two of you, how it’s still coming back to hurt you even now. It makes him furious, but where he’d expected Remus to take it all in calmly, Sirius is surprised when the other boy’s jaw gets tight as he listens. He has questions: How long had you worked with Peter? Did either of you have to get involved with the case, or did his emails speak for themselves? Does Sirius know how long Peter was playing double-agent?
By the time they’re on Sirius’ block, Remus has begun alternating between shaking his head and huffy, revolted exhalations.
“I can’t believe he said that to her.” He shakes his head, guilt digging into the space between his brows. “I can’t believe I said it, either, but I was only trying to make a joke about myself, not…she’s far too skilled to have a fall like that—well, anyone could, but she’s only as likely as anyone else at her level. Which isn’t very many people.”
“That’s what I told her,” Sirius agrees. “I think she was mostly over it, but…”
“I reminded her.” Remus sighs. “I’ll have to make it up to her.”
“She’ll be alright,” he says honestly. “I think it just surprised her.”
“She’s really good.”
“I know.”
“She has to know that.”
“She…” Sirius hesitates. “Do we ever really know it, about ourselves?”
“Oh, come off it.” Remus gives Sirius a knowing look. His mouth tugs up on one side. “You clearly know how good you are.”
Sirius feels a pleased tingle of warmth in his face. He walks backwards up the stairs to his flat, leveling Remus with a cocky grin. “Am I?”
“Don’t. You maintain your own ego well enough without my help.”
“Oh, but it never hurts to have disciples.” He fishes out his key, unlocking the door. “You could remind me from time to time, just for fun.”
When he turns, Remus is watching him from the sidewalk with a gleam of something like amusement in his eye. “Nail the spiral,” he says, “and we’ll see.”
#poly!wolfstar olympic au#poly!wolfstar#poly!wolfstar x reader#poly!wolfstar x fem!reader#poly!wolfstar x y/n#poly!wolfstar x you#poly!wolfstar x self insert#poly!wolfstar fanfiction#poly!wolfstar fanfic#poly!wolfstar fic#poly!wolfstar series#poly!wolfstar enemies to lovers#poly!wolfstar fluff#poly!wolfstar angst#poly!wolfstar imagine#poly!wolfstar scenario#poly!wolfstar drabble#poly!wolfstar blurb#poly!wolfstar oneshot#poly!wolfstar one shot#remus lupin x sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x sirius black x reader#wolfstar x reader#sirius black#remus lupin#figure skater!sirius#figure skater!reader#coach!remus
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I am on hiatus because of exams but @danijaci you have pulled me out of it for today thanks to your biker!Wriothesley drawing. 😭😭💫💕🦋
Please allow me to add some words to your scrumptious art because I am obsessed with this man.
biker!Wriothesely x 9 to 5 job!reader.
not proof read i wrote this in 30 minutes and put it in queue.
It was a wet day. The air was moist and puddles had formed around every corner. You walked with your files clutched under one arm, umbrella held in the other, sheltering you from the light drizzle that remained after the heavy downpour from a few hours ago.
Your clothes were recently washed and neatly ironed. Atleast they were till someone whizzed past you, splashing you with puddle water, soiling your clothes. You yelled curses at them, trying to brush away the water on your clothes which clearly was a futile attempt.
You turned around to walk home and get changed into a new pair of clothes till you noticed the biker who splashed water on you, was coming back. You came to halt as the biker parked their bike in front of you before pulling the visor of the helmet up.
You could see icy blue hues staring at you. The voice was muffled you could make out a 'sorry' in their sentence. "I can't understand what you are saying." You frowned, not pleased with the situation at all.
The biker removed their helmet to reveal a man, beautiful beyond comprehension. His hand reached up to fluff up his black locks which had been flattened by the helmet, while his other hand placed the helmet on the handle of the biker. He swiftly kicked the stand of his bike before making his way to you.
"I said I am sorry for splashing you with water. It was an accident and I should've been more careful." He sighed, assessing the damage caused by his recklessness.
"Oh it is fine, it will come off. The only problem is that I am late for work." You grimaced at the feeling of the clothes sticking against your skin. He seemed to have noticed that.
"How about I give you a ride back home and to your office? It'll save you time and in exchange of helping you, you'll forgive me. Sounds like a win-win." He offered. You hesitated since getting on a bike with a strange guy was complete violation of the stranger danger rul— screw it.
"I'll take you up on that offer."
"Great. One more thing.." he took off his jacket and leaned in to wrapped it around you. You took your time to admire the man while he was busy zipping the jacket up. After he was done he glanced up at you. There was an awkward silence, you could feel his body warmth radiate upon coming in proximity and—
"Let's go. The jacket will prevent you from feeling cold while riding on the bike." He walked over to his biker and mounted it. He gestured you to take a seat while strapping his helmet back on. He then handed you a spare and drove off.
Your life was usually dull. A boring 9 to 5 job, same old sceneries and same old people had made life monotonous, yet this moment of sitting on a bike with the cool air hitting your body, the vehicle effortlessly taking smooth twists and turns was an escape from all of that.
You had your arms wrapped around his waist. Part of your arm could feel his muscular built under the clothing. He was a gentleman, responsible, quick-witted and good looking. What more could a girl ask for—
"We are here." He dropped you off at your house. If only you knew that from that day, the strange man would become an inseparable part of your life.
biker!wriothesley who would drop you to your office and back everyday under the excuse that it will save you time and energy even though he simply wants to enjoy the warmth of your arms wrapped around him.
biker!wriothesley who would bring big bouquets of your favourite flower each week in hopes to impress you.
biker!wriothesley who steals you away from your friends to go on an impromptu outing with him.
biker!wriothesley who loves watching sunsets with you while sharing a pint of icecream.
biker!wriothesley who fell harder after you fell first.
biker!wriothesley who would feel happy even at the smallest biking related gift you get him. He is a strong believer of sincerity.
biker!wriothesley who always gives up his jacket whenever you feel cold and always puts your comfort first.
biker!wriothesley who was hesitant on confessing but eventually mustered the courage to do so.
"Hey big guy, why did you bring me here all of a sudden?" You enquired softly. Wriothesely was a man with many scars and a fragile heart. He only ever dragged you away when he was feeling upset.
"It's nothing. I am just- I have to come out clean about this.." he sighed, trying to face you. The sunset's beauty only made you look more captivating in his eyes than you already were.
Wriothesley had always been gentle with you. Ever since the day he splashed water on you, to the time where he accidentally hit you in the face with the helmet while tossing it to you, hoping you would catch it, uptill now.
He looked at you with endearment, sincerity and love. You were his solace in his adventurous life while he was your spark in your mundane one. You two were like puzzle pieces. Meant for eachother. Meant to complete one another.
"I like you. I find my thoughts drifting towards you all the time. I thought biking was my only passion, nothing could take my attention away from my love for bike riding but then you came and—" he cupped your face, his frost blue eyes spoke a thousand words which his mouth couldn't utter.
biker!wriothesley whose partner in crime (not literally) is you. He can confide in you about his problems and loves when you talk to him in biker terms.
biker!wriothesley who loves taking you on long drives. He loves exploring new places and seeing the smile that traveling brings to your face.
biker!wriothesley who flaunts you off to his biker buddies or 'gang' he named 'The Meropide' talking non stop about how amazing you are.
biker!wriothesley who teases you alot.
"Wriothesley- you have been cleaning your bike since the past 2 hours!" You complained, he treated that bike like royalty. Cleaning it, greasing it, getting air in the tires—
"You see sweetheart, I have to take care of my wife. I am simply spending quality time with her." He smirked at you.
"Oh yeah? Then what am I?" You asked, arms crossed across your chest.
"You are my mistress—"
You didn't let him touch you the entire day.
biker!wriothesley who gets all shy and clammy at physical intimacy, be it holding hands, hugging or stealing kisses.
biker!wriothesley who wouldn't trade you for the world. He holds you dear and the day he confessed to you, he had given a piece of his heart to you and vowed to always be by your side.
this is so scuffed- I haven't written in so long especially in this format.
but hell do I not love wriothesley.
don't copy, plagiarize, repost.
©definitelysel
#genshin fluff#genshin impact#genshin x reader#fontaine#genshin impact x reader#wriothesely x reader#wriothesely#wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#wrio x reader#wriothesley imagines#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#wriothesley x you#wriothesley fluff
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Can u make a jake or( whatever member u want)make up sex ? If not it's okay! 💗🐣
Ofc I can bb 🫶actually was already working on a hurt comfort fic before you requested it
love on you (s.jy)
Idol!jake x artist!reader
Warnings : angst ,hurt-comfort, smut, fluff, reader is insecure
Wc : 4.5k
"Man you didn't tell us y/n won an award wtf" jay's words sounded like static to jake's ears
"What? " He questioned through his hoarse voice, his head throbbing because of the constant state of moving his body had been in for the past few days. He doesn't remember when he last slept for more than 4 hours
"She just posted it on her story, check it out if you even care bro" jay scoffed and left the room, his voice condescending and accusing.
jake's brows furrowed while he automatically reached for his phone
"What do you mean if I even care? " he muttered to himself, feeling anger rise up in his chest at jay's tone.
His thumb swiped at your profile and clicked on your story, all anger leaving his body when he saw your figure holding the golden trophy while standing in front of the mirror, your face hidden from the flashlight of your phone.
His heart sank to his stomach and dread filled up his chest when he realised the gravity of the situation
"fuck" He muttered and rubbed his temples, heart running a mile per minute. What had he done.
He quickly clicked on his notifs and saw a couple of messages from you dated yesterday
"Shit baby I'm so sorry" he muttered, the throbbing in his chest reaching fever pitch, an ugly feeling rearing it's head in his chest when he finally read your messages
[Mine🤍]
[5:40 pm] I'm wearing the blue dress that you love so much tonight :), tell me how I look
[5:40 pm] (photo attachment)
jake clicked on the picture and he wanted to cry. You looked like a fucking goddess. God you were beautiful, you were so beautiful he was questioning how you were real.... how you were his
[6:30 pm] I'm feeling nervous, can't wait for you to be here, I just need to hold your hand for a bit, only for a bit I promise :(
[7:21 pm] you aren't coming are you
[3:30 am] (audio message)
jake's heart felt like it was tearing apart in two, he had fucked up so bad and he didn't think there was anything he could do to make this right.
There were missed calls from you after that last message and finally an audio message that sat staring at jake ominously
He rubbed his palm over his face and finally pressed play with trembling fingers
"Hi babyy i miss you- you slurred, your voice was shaky and he could tell that you were drunk when you recorded this message ,intoxication dripped from your tone
"Where even are you? Busy? Did you at least eat today baby?" he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve your concern or love, he didn't fucking deserve you
"I hope you did- there was a pause - I haven't eaten- your voice sounded solemn all of a sudden, as if you were deep in your thoughts now, ur voice was hoarse like you had been crying
"Don't feel like eating ...... I waited for you- a sharp inhale, shit, you were crying. jake felt his own eyes dampen at hearing your first sniffle, he hated when you cried. He hated that he was the reason why.
"I feel stupid now" You whispered and then laughed condescendingly
"I mean, it's not like it was an important award anyway... just a stupid art exhibition. It's not like my art is that good anyway, I'm honestly questioning if they gave me that award cuz they needed a female in the merit list"
Wrong. You were amazing. And if anyone deserved that award it was you.
But jake didn't remember the last time he had told you that.
another sniffle
"You have more important stuff to do and i get that. And i told myself I won't cry today but here I am- you giggled through your sobs- I look so stupid right now, I bet I sound even more stupid everytime I annoy you with my stupid fucking feelings"
No you don't, he loves you, you are his everything, he wanted to say
"But I'm trying to change i promise.... I haven't been keeping track of our anniversaries anymore since the last time you told me it was childish and you had better things to do with your time"
jake closed his eyes and let a single tear fall down his cheek, god he regretted it everyday, he regretted opening his stupid mouth and talking to you that way every damn day. He had wished you would forget about it after he apologized to you but of course you haven't. That kind of hurt cannot be forgotten so easily
"It hurts but i manage... it's hard to manage tonight, I don't know why.... maybe because I can't stop expecting things to change, hoping that one day I would wake up and I'll be your priority again " You were full on hiccuping through sobs now
"God I'm so stupid and I wore this stupid fucking dress cuz I felt beautiful... not anymore tho, I don't feel beautiful when you aren't there to tell me I am..... you just matter so much to me and it kills me that I won't ever matter even half as much to you"
jake cursed and threw his phone aside while you still talked, holding his head in both hands, jake let himself cry
He let himself cry for all the times he'd hurt your self esteem so much it made you want to change, he cried for all the times he watched your smile fall cuz he couldn't be there for the stuff you wanted to do
He let himself cry for making you feel like you were less of a person just because you got excited over small things and little gestures mattered to you
He cried because he had been hurting the one person who made his life worth living, so much to the point that you had started to make yourself smaller. He had made you shrink.
"You are my first and last everything jake.. and i know you are an important person and have to hide it from the world that you have a girlfriend but i just feel like... Maybe in an effort to make everyone else believe that i don't exist, you started to believe it too.... and i don't even blame you. I've always been forgettable"
His phone dinged to signal the message had ended so he pressed play again. And again. And again. He doesn't remember how long he sat there listening to your sobs and heart wrenching pain. The pain that he had caused.
jake hadn't felt this kind of fear ever before. Not even when he had moved to a foreign country alone. He was losing his mind, dark circles under his eyes as he sat outside your apartment door. You weren't here, he knew that, he'd been coming to see you everyday but no sign of you. A locked door. That's all he was greeted with for the past 1 week.
Your phone was switched off, no calls or messages, no way of knowing how you were doing and where you were. Had you really left him for good this time? Would he never be able to hold you in his arms again? Hear your giggles and taste your sweet kisses? Was this your goodbye?
That was the thought that had him breaking down completely in his car in the middle of nowhere as he drove around looking for you aimlessly.
just once, he needed to see u once.
He wiped his tears and dialed jay's number
"I need you to do me a favor"
You missed him. You missed him so much it hurt. Were you being too harsh on him? You weren't doing it on purpose, you just didn't feel like you were capable of facing him right now, too embarrassed and feeling exposed after you sent that stupid voice note. A drunk mistake.
What if he broke up with you? What if he hated you now ?
You sobbed into your pillows in your childhood bedroom, crying yourself to sleep, imagining his arms around you, shushing you softly, telling you he loved you
God you don't even remember the last time he told you he loved you.
His knees buckled when his eyes fell on you. There you were, so fucking beautiful, so fucking tempting he had to physically stop himself from running to you and taking you in his arms. You weren't smiling and that's what made his heart clench. As long as he'd known you, you were always smiling, you were his personal little cheerleader.
"Y/n look who's here to meet you" your mother's voice made you jolt, almost dropping the antique case that you were cleaning.
And you almost dropped it again when your questioning eyes met his dark ones. Your heart started beating unbearably fast, your palms sweaty as you placed the case back on the counter with shaky hands
"you didn't tell me you had friends back in the city y/n! And such a handsome one at that- your mother cooed, wiggling her eyebrows at jake whose ears turned red - anyways, you kids talk while I bring you guys snacks" your mother said and disappeared around the corner, leaving you and the reason of your escape from the city alone. You stood there fidgeting with your fingers, the silence sitting heavy on you while you made it a point to look nowhere else except your feet.
After a few foreboding seconds which felt like hours you saw his shoes come into your line of vision, moving closer to your feet
Your hands gripped onto your skirt harshly when you felt his big hands cup both of your cheeks and move your face up to look into his eyes. His face inches from yours.
"Baby.. " he whispered and that's all you had to hear before breaking down, your vision becoming blurry and harsh sobs escaping your lungs
"God I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart I'm so fucking sorry" His voice cooed, thumbs swiping at your cheeks to wipe your tears, kissing your cheeks and eyes to calm your heavy breathing
Your hands moved up to fist the shirt on his chest and you closed your eyes to finally let it all out, crying and sobbing your pain out, so hurt and so upset from what things had come to.
He pulled your heaving body into his arms and circled his arms so tight around you, as if afraid of losing you. You sobbed your heart out in the crook of his neck while he apologized to you, whispering countless confessions into your ears
"I love you, I love you so much baby, I'm sorry I haven't shown it to you enough" he whispered and you hiccuped in his chest, letting the hurt and disappointment wash over you, hearing him say he loved you already healing a part of you
His guilt ridden voice had you eventually giving in and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling back to stare into his eyes, small sniffles leaving your lips as u observed his tired face. Your hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, kissing your palm. You traced the heavy dark circles beneath his eyes, his irises were red rimmed and exhausted, hairs messy and uncombed
"How long since u slept?" You asked in your hoarse voice
He stared into your eyes, giddy from feeling you close again, feeling too good cuz you were back in his arms
"2 weeks" He whispered and your eyes teared up again. You knew he had been harsh on himself because of his work, he was often sick, unable to sleep or rest and then there was you and your feelings
Who cared about your stupid feelings when this man in front in front of you couldn't even get proper fucking sleep? If anything, you were the extra baggage that he had been carrying around
"I'm sorry" You whispered and his brows furrowed "baby why? "
"because I'm so inconsiderate, I'm sorry I'm so demanding and - his lips cut your rambling off mid sentence, chapped lips pressed against your plump ones and he kissed you like he had never kissed you before. Desperate hands grabbed your waist while your own tangled In his hairs, pulling him closer to you. You were both hungry. No the better word would be starved. You were starved to the point that even a little brush of skin against each other was sending your heads reeling. The kiss tasted of despair and guilt, it reeked of frustration but most of all jake kissed you like he was scared.
"Wanting to feel loved isn't a demand sweetheart, I'm sorry i haven't been there for you, I'm sorry i haven't been making you feel like you are my priority, because you are. You have no idea what you mean to me baby, you're my little heart" he whispered into your mouth and you started crying again like the crybaby that you were. You were his crybaby tho, his to console and comfort. His to love.
He kissed you again, soft pecks all over your face, whispering things that he had never told you before, he didnt like talking about his feelings this way but the moment demanded vulnerability and he could do anything for you.
You were sure your mother had heard everything by now and that's why you didn't hesitate to drag jake into your childhood bedroom. The both of you snuggled in your bed and talked about your feelings for hours. Tears were shed on both sides but it was comforting in a sense, to clear everything up and come clean about what you both needed
"Will you wear that dress for me again? When we get home?" he asked, his fingers tracing patterns into your waist and you pouted at him
"you've lost that privilege" You teased , slapping his chest lightly
He stared deeply into your eyes, his gaze so serious it made your own smile drop
"I'd do anything to gain that privilege again, to see you look so beautiful for me,so fucking pretty for me" he whispered and you blushed, your head reeling from his words
"I'll wear it" You mumbled shyly, god you were weak for this man
He leaned into you to bite your cheek
"Yeah? you'd let me take it off you too won't you? Unwrap you like a present, just for me? "
You blushed harder, ears burning up, your fists hitting against his chest
"Pervert" you whispered and he chuckled, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer, nose burying in the crook of your neck, leaving small sensual kisses
"Can't help it baby I'm so down bad for you" he groaned into your neck, making you flinch slightly as it tickled. His hold on your waist was tight, squeezing you desperately
"you're seriously not thinking dirty things while my mom's down the hallway right? " You asked giggling even though your cheeks were red and flushed. It had been a while since you and jake had done anything like this, since you felt wanted by him like this
jake's pants tightened uncomfortably upon hearing your giggles. God you were so sweet, there was a reason his manager had been forbidding him from seeing you
You were a distraction. You were addicting. And anyone with two eyes could see that jake was addicted to you.
He had physically recoiled when his manager had told him to chose between his idol career and you, seeing how he was willing to sneak out to meet you, risking everything and putting everyone at stake
But jake had promised he would control himself. He couldn't live without you, even the thought of you not being there made his chest constrict. So he decided to stay away from you for a while. Even though it hurt , it surely hurt less than to stay away from you forever
"I was drunk and couldn't stop thinking about you" jake whispered, coming up to move your body, laying you on your back so that he could hover over you
"so i drank more and kept drinking till I couldn't feel my fingers"
Your wide doe eyes stared up at him curiously, wondering why he was telling you this all of a sudden
He brought his palm up to your face, stroking your cheek by the back of his hand, caressing you like he loved you
"I didn't forget about your award sweetheart, I was too drunk to remember anything at all, woke up hungover the next evening and i realized what I had done. In an effort to forget about you, I forgot everything else as well. I know it's not an excuse but i just need to tell you" He said, his expression guilty and distraught
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to yourself
"Why were you trying to forget about me? Why not just come see me? or call me? "
Your innocent questioning eyes made jake close his eyes in impending sorrow. He leaned down and kissed u deeply, tasting your hot mouth to stabilize himself before pulling back and telling you everything.
You layed wide wake, stroking your fingers through jake's hair as he slept soundly snuggled into your chest. His soft snores and breath hitting your clavicle.
Honestly you weren't surprised that his manager had done such a thing. You weren't a fool, you noticed the hostile stares he would shoot your way everytime you went over to the boys' dorms or practice sessions. His eyes were always set on you in a glaring warning, as if to say, "you're not welcome here"
You hated that you understood where he was coming from. Being responsible for an entire group's reputation must be hard and your presence only made it harder.
You sighed and hugged jake's head closer to you, burying your nose in his hairs, breathing him in after so long. His hands were around your waist, grip so tight even in his sleep, it made you feel safe and so loved. This was all you wanted. Him in your arms, was that really too much to ask for?
You were still awake about two hours later, sleep just wouldn't come to you, head filled with so many thoughts. You tried slipping out from his grip to fetch water but his strong hands were pulling your body back into him
"Hmm don't go" He mumbled, his voice heavy and sleep ridden, eyes still closed but brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and kissed his nose, trying to slip again when his eyes opened wide, a gasp escaped your lips when he was flipping you over, resting his body over yours, nibbling on your ear
"I said don't fucking go" he growled and the sound had you rubbing your thighs together, hands coming up to rest against his shoulders
"I-i was just thirsty" you whispered and he hummed into your skin, nibbling on your ear again, sucking your lobe into his mouth making you whine softly
"I'm thirsty too" he whispered in your ear, his hands moving down to grab your thighs and parting them so he could settle his crotch against your middle, making you feel how hard he was in his jeans
"so fucking thirsty baby" He groaned and thrusted against you, a harsh gasp left your lips at his actions
"J-jake not here" you whispered but even you didn't believe your words, pussy starting to drip just from the way his voice sounded so husky and deep in your ear. His hands groped your lower body, taking a handful of your ass as he issued another thrust against you
Before you could tell him to stop again, he was pulling back, standing on his knees between your legs while he hastily undid his belt and jeans
"I'm sorry sweetheart I just can't wait any fucking longer, I need to put it in" he panted, you squirmed underneath him, watching how he was quick to pull his pants down his legs, his boxers coming off along with them, hanging around his thighs
He didn't bother taking his clothes all the way off, desperate hands reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs
Your breathing was heavy, eyes pivoted to the hard dick that hung between his legs, arousal gushing down your slit when he rubbed a finger against your hole while fisting his own dick a few times "such a pretty fucking pussy"
"jake please" you moaned and he cursed, coming up to capture your lips into his own while he settled between your legs, rubbing his cock against your leaking cunt, rubbing it up and down, bumping against your engorged clit, making you moan into his mouth that was busy licking into yours
The feeling of being so close to each other after so long had you feeling hot and heavy
"Yeah baby? you want it?" he demanded, eyes dark and lust ridden as he gazed into your teary ones
"Y-yes please" you mumbled and jake clenched his jaw. Fuck. You were sweeter than candy and he couldn't control himself when it came to you
He rested his forehead against yours, looking down to stare at how his dick entered your warm sex, hips grinding to slide in smoother and deeper. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan upon the feeling of him inside of you after so long "baby f-fuck" he groaned into your mouth, feeling his resolve to go soft on you fading away at the way your tight walls were clenching around him
"you're sucking me in baby, so tight"
His words made your hips twitch. The indication enough for him to start moving in you. Your nails dug into his shoulders from above his shirt that he still wore as his hips started snapping against yours, his balls smacking filthily against your ass
His hot moans were making you wetter, drool escaping your mouth at the pleasure
"ts so good baby I fucking missed this" he pants, his hands groping your body mercilessly as he kept moving in and out of your leaking pussy
He licked the drool escaping your lips, sticking his tongue inside your hot mouth, licking into it with urgency while he moved your legs upwards, pressing your body in a mating press, increasing his pace
Harsh animalistic thrusts were sending your body in a ripple, making you move back and forth as he moved above you, sending the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall, the sex getting louder, messier
"Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah" he insinuated with every grind of his hips into you, meshing your lower bodies together to create a friction so insane it had you moaning his name in a chant, mind numbing pleasure clouding your senses
You both shared open mouth kisses, sucking on each other's tongue lewdly, uncaring of how messy it was, you loved messy
His hands moved up to hold onto the headboard above your head as he moved his hips deeper into yours, letting your legs fall around his hips, wrapping around his waist, your ankles digging into his ass to keep him buried deep inside of your warm cunt
"Wanted to make love to you but look what you fucking do to me" he groaned into your mouth, occasionally licking into it and digging his teeth into your lower lip, making you whine and moan in extreme pleasure. His dick made out with your cervix, bumping pleasurably into your g spot, penetrating your womb mercilessly
The sound of the headboard slamming was getting louder, bed creaked beneath your writhing bodies, the sweat on your naked bodies making it easier to slide against each other
Your moans were getting louder as his silent curses reached a fever pitch, a bunch of "Umhhnshit baby" and "so good" s falling from his lips, hips getting sloppier, pistoning in and out of you in a frenzy, uncaring of how your mother could probably hear you get pounded into the sheets
"s-so close jake I'm so close" you moaned and his hips got faster, his hand sneaking down to rub against your clit to make u reach your high faster. He couldn't wait to feel you gushing around his cock "that's right baby, make a fucking mess on me yeah?" he groaned, biting your lower lip and rubbing harshly against you, his hips never faltering, thrusting and thrusting until you were cumming all over his dick with a scream of his name
The moan was so pornographic it had him cumming within minutes of feeling the delicious clench of your cunt around his aching cock, filling you up to the brim, harsh pants escaping his lips as he used your pussy to ride his orgasm, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sighs of satisfaction filled the empty space between your mouths
Harsh breaths were shared as you both came down from your highs, sharing sweet kisses and confessions, a string of "I love you" s falling from his lips while his palms caressed your body softly, rubbing against the parts where he'd grabbed you harshly
"Don't you need to go back? what will your manager do if he finds out you're here with me?" you asked some time later, his dick was still in you, feeling too good to cockwarm him just like this
He kissed you softly and shook his head "Told jay to take care of it. I honestly couldn't care less baby I just need you"
You bit your lower lip, getting shy now that he was being so sweet to you, not used to have him say such things to you casually "But u should care jake, you can't just risk your career for me"
"I could do anything for you. Nothing matters if you're not there, I hope you know that sweetheart" he whispered in your mouth before kissing you deeply again. "I hope you also know how proud of you I am my pretty little artist, no one else deserved that award more than you baby"
You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and kissed him back, heart feeling full and all insecurities fading away at his words, cheeks flaming red from his compliments, unable to hide the smile overtaking your face
"I love you" you whispered, as if saying them any louder would take the meaning of the words away
"Yeah? Say that again baby" He whispered back and you giggled shyly, burying your face in the crook of his neck where you repeated the words again
He chuckled and kissed the side of your head adoringly "I love you so much too baby, and I'm going to show it to you every waking moment, I'm gonna love on you till you're begging me to stop"
You curled your body further into him at his words, heart feeling giddy after a very long time. Hoping that this feeling would last forever.
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