#I! kind of! know how itll end! but if nothing I know I am so willing to improv this shit to the bitter confusing end

[b4kuch1n]

hi it's me. bulletpoints

job has concluded! barring sudden expansion on the project I think that's gonna be it for my work here. six character cards in total! this leads to

wrists are bit fucked. I'll be putting that thang (creen tablet) in da closet again for at least a month while trying to hold as few heavy objects as possible for the time being

why one month deadline? well it's bc I made an artfight account. I'm fucking doing it this year on god I'll kick anyone's ass I'll kick my own ass. I'll post a link to my acc a week or so before the event starts, meanwhile I'll keep updating my roster and cleaning up this cardboard box I arrived at their door in. do u guys have a spare pair of suspenders I have a really funny joke to make

will be doing it on the creen tablet, unless I make enough to get a new graphic tablet that works with SAI2 inbetween. on that note

ink comms should come back sometimes next week babeyy I need to get back into da groove! miss my G pen it feels like I was close to something last time. I wanna get back to it. but also

I'm writing a fic now. tis the season it seems this happened last year too. but I'll try my best to not disappear off the face of the earth for 3 months running again lol I'll do my best to pace myself, since this is gonna be one of the heftier writing things.

sk8 people and another very specific subset of people will be pleased to know it's a sk8 Real Steel AU. if this means nothing to u carry on. have a good day. to the five people still here I'll probably be brainposting abt writing this so don't be surprised if that comes up here and there

circling back a bit I'm currently 120 USD away from the graphic tablet I wanna get, so that'll be what the ink comms are going toward. otherwise if u enjoy my art and have a spare doller to buy the baku a coffee I'd absolutely appreciate ur support! not mandatory but I'll definitely be very thankful! especially bc

I'll probably phase out the redbubble store some time in the future. at the very least I'll probably stop uploading new things on there while looking for alternative. ohh baby they are doing some wild shit and I want off the ride please. please

but yeah. that's the current plan for things. I've accepted that comics happen when they want to, and I have faith they still want to see the sunlight some time this year. meanwhile we keep busy keep training keep recovering! thank u for ur patience. have a good night take this sharp object

[lovesickeros]

now that natlan is out it's tsaritsa yearning hours again because i am one nation closer to either being horribly disappointed or foaming at the mouth!

creator!reader w a little side of conflicted tsaritsa is such good food I can't not yap about it. a woman who has dedicated so much of her life to severing herself from "love" of all kinds and succeeding and. just being so confident that when she meets you she's bitter and angry and mean. because she can't stand you. she isn't supposed to love yet you worm your way into her heart anyway and you don't even know it.

especially in smth like an imposter au. she tells herself your just a tool for her to use but your treated like the Divine you really are, pampered and spoiled every step. tells herself it means nothing when she indulges you – let's you hold her hand in private, eventually let's you move aside the veil, just a little.

and she hates it. hates how easy it is to let you break down the ice she's built up for years.

all you do is smile and she feels like she can't breathe. because despite how violently she rejects love in all aspects, it always bleeds through eventually. she despises it but the way you brush your thumbs over her cheeks makes her bitter and warm and it infuriates her to no end.

she hates you and she loves you and she can't stand you and if you were ever taken from her she'd destroy every inch of teyvat if she had to go get you back.

and ironically enough I think she'd also be the one to initiate any first kiss. maybe she's still trying to convince herself it's just a fluke and itll make her realize it meant nothing, it means nothing. desperate to fix whatever you've done to her and instead it just makes it worse.

a horrible mess of a woman who gave up on love just to be confronted with it when she finally accepted it's absence.

[strab3rr]

ive been thinking abt a week? to delete my account or my story but u know what idgaf anymore because its just gonna give those people more courage for accusing me of being a liar

oh u dont know what im talking bout rn how cute

I was in the hospital til 2 days ago. as a patient. and i believe this happened bc of some jealousy bitches (or im just bein a drama queen)

ik it sounds like im blaming someone but irl yes i do blame someone

in dog years i blame those bitches

last week? i dont even remember what the day

mom got sick again but its okay shes fine now and then i had a car crash🪩🤩🪩my phone died in the crash literally died i had to buy a new one do you guys have any idea abt how much are this things in my country i really dont care abt the money but be for real wtf actually

i answered all of your questions carefully and with kindness i tried to be there for you guys and the moment i tell you abt my success story i had an accident! um sir wtf am i really being dramatic rn? cause ive been thinking bout this for days and theres no other explanation even if there is i cant see

so here it goes,,, i was just chilling in my home and then i read a dm about a girl that she wants to get in her void and as always i explained how she can get in but she kept ask me about how to get in but like girl hellooo i literally told you how. r u kidding me is this a social experiment to evaluate my patience? and then i said to her that this is the only thing that she should do for getting into

she said, no you are lying it cant be like this! bla bla

i transformed to this cat at that moment this is real me now.

anyway at the end of that conversation she said that im lying, if any of these(my manifestation results) are true then i should show her bc she have "doubts🎀" aww for her doubts i should reveal my self in her home bc she have doubts🎀 i should transport there with my void and show her how to do it irl thats what she asked me no- thats what she commanded me to, she was like "do it" and i was like "what😃" i said no ofc what do u want me to say, ok lets do itt lets break my privacy togetherrr let me get in your void for you and again let me do make your dreams comes true yayyy itll be fun right😍😍😍

i dont even know what to say to that

maybe this?

u think im joking which ur right bc i am

but its kinda serious here buddy what should i say to you when u command me to get in your void for you, like how can i reject you and still be that kind sister for u?

anyway i said no to her and she said im a lair and i broke her heart with my selfishness(then i blocked her ofc)then i go out w my friends this is the part i got hit by a car😇

opened my eyes into the white light like im a mf drama movie character

while im in the hospital i thought i can delete my account and can get rid of this bad luck/shits once and for all but again its just gonna give those bitches courage and they think that they right

"loa is a cult and everyone is a liar bc they cant prove bla bla" dont u dare to blame me for your failure

you didn't got in AND you want me to do it for you???honey im sorry for your loss bc it seems like you just lost your dignity yeah we just buried it u missed such a precious moment🥲

and guess what i have nothing to prove you i literally dont have to prove anything to you. like for real. if you dont believe the story can u just move on please? bc i dont give a damn shit about your insecurities, your doubts and ur blablabla

its literally on you girl BC IT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR MF REALITY? LIKE DO YOU REALLY NEED A MANUAL BOOK FOR THIS?

im sorry for being a bitter today but i really feel like this(bitter), so not sorry maybe😗

but i didn't mean it when i said idgaf to ur insecurities.. i do honey its just been a rough week and i dont know how to put my anger in to the words

it can be a evil eye 🧿 or i just might be a drama queen sooo.. again sorry(?) if anything offends u, i love you guys but its just so complicated here(my head) and i just dont know

and now im just being weird w all this nonsense

i should go now, i will return your dms asap just need some rest

loves, siena

[rouge-the-bat]

i think itd be really funny if hiei didnt realize who kurama truly was for a while after they meet. kurama introduces his name to him as just "kurama," and im sure theres More Than One demon kurama, so its not like hiei would immediately assume hes THE infamous youko kurama. and kurama doesnt tell him, because hes a silly lil fox with much patience and finds much amusement in waiting and seeing how long itll take hiei to realize.

and its not like kurama tries to be subtle either. he gets a fox keychain on his backpack, hiei notices it and asks its purpose. kurama says its just a fun decoration, which hiei dismisses as stupid.

kurama eventually mentions having a tail in his old body. hiei realizes he was an animal demon, but doesnt care which he may have been, because what would it matter?

kurama also does not keep quiet about the fact he was and still is a thief. there are a lot of thieves in the makai, though, things dont click in hieis mind yet.

hiei turns down much of kuramas attempts to "pry into his life" (as he sees it) at first, and doesnt want to pry into kuramas either. he wants to keep their partnership as just business, he has no interest in getting all buddy-buddy (he will also not think into at all why he likes looking at kurama, it doesnt mean anything if he doesnt think about it). BUT. he does end up becoming very curious, because how could he not with a demon in a human body, that has such an unusual situation and loads of knowledge and skill?

kurama told him at least that his soul had escaped to the body of an unborn human before he was able to perish. hiei wondered how long ago that happened, and asked kurama how old his human form is. "14," kurama tells him.

at this point hiei is still able to return to the makai, and he goes to retrieve some various seeds kurama needs for weapons/medicine and such. a good way he can be useful for their partnership- he doesnt want it to be one-sided after all- and plus kurama equipped with more items would defintely be helpful for him as well.

on one trip he eavesdrops on some bandit hideout he discovers- nothing interesting they got there, but information they speak about could come in handy. a very unimpressive-looking demon mentions that theyre gonna become the next youko kurama (hiei manages to keep himself from snorting, but not from rolling his eyes). another demon says that theyve been hearing rumors that youko kurama died for over a decade now, but they still dont believe it. says they bet he faked his death so he can catch some big shot off guard and take em for all theyve got.

this conversation doesnt make him question anything until later, when hes relaxing in a tree back in the ningenkai. its late, and his mind starts to wander and remembers the conversation. hes always heard a lot of tales about the king of thieves, but doesnt know how much may be factual. he offhandedly wonders if kurama happens to know any concrete details, since hes proven to be very knowledgeable about many things.

then it clicks. all the little details over the months fall into place in his mind and hes suddenly wide awake and rushing to kuramas house. he slams kuramas sliding window open, and kurama startles and halts from brushing his hair. he sternly tells hiei to be careful, that glass can break easily, and that sound could have woken his mother. shes a light sleeper and needs her sleep! hiei doesnt comment on that, and just urgently says "kurama. what kind of demon are you?"

kurama blinks for a moment, then chuckles. he gives hiei a wicked grin as he replies "youre just now figuring out who i am, are you?" "kurama," hiei repeats, "what are you?" he sees a mischievous glint in those green eyes that almost looked gold before kurama answers "why, a youko, of course."

[devondespresso]

OK POLL IS ONLY GONNA LAST LIKE AN HOUR TOPS IM NOT PATIENT ENOUGH FOR A WHOLE DAY

i woke up today deciding i need to widdle down my wips because the extra options are making it harder to decide what to work on and get wips posted. i have 5? wips i think. 1 long fic, 1 chaptered, and 3 oneshots.

having said that...

some additional Pews information, in case that aids the decision.

Pews' is a perry-the-platypus style pet that doubles as Tews (they're identical, Tews is his own cat they just share the place of Tews im the Henderson household) and is basically responsible for plot-armor-y coincidences that let the plot happen. I have the most of the fic outlined with only one scene not figured out, nothing written obviously i gotta ask the silly guys in my phone first dykdyjdyj

i really liked it, itd be one of those "crack taken seriously" fics, i just don't know how much time i actually want to pour into this with how many other things I've got that i wanna finish

[bunniis-w0rld]

stop trying to lose weight to appeal to men

so many of you need to hear this, especially some of the younger girls on here

there are a lot of posts all over here talking about how 'when i lose weight ill finally talk to my crush' or 'when i lose weight he'll actually be attracted to me' or 'he'll regret hurting me' nooope. we're not doing that ladies

i am well aware this is a mental illness and it can contribute to those irrational worries and thoughts, but they are not true

and i know it sounds so cliche and you probably dont believe it but the right person for you is one who loves you regardless of your physical appearance. one who is all over you wether youve just woken up with smudgy mascara and messy hair or youve gotten all dressed up and spent hours on your makeup. one who loves you if you gain weight and look different, or lose weight and shrink down

a relationship based only off physical appearances, is a superficial one. there may be physical attraction on the surface and thats great, but you also want someone who loves you as a person. for your passions and quirks and the things that make you, you. a relationship based only on your body will only end in hurt, which dont get me wrong makes for interesting character development, but its not worth your time and pain. it isnt. you deserve so much better than that. people also change, and its unstable, knowing that as you grow as a person you will become different, you may gain weight or your body will change or your face may change, and a superficial relationship that is reliant on physical attraction alone will not last those changes

so if you want to talk to your crush, dont wait to lose all the weight and sit around wondering if he only likes you for your body, do it now. build a connection and you may find your person

if you want them to realise how much they hurt you, forget about them. that is what will show them. focus on yourself, and if that involves losing weight go for it, but sitting around hoping theyll notice still gives them the upper hand

and if a guy (or anyone) has ever, ever made you feel bad about your body that just shows his true colours. it reflects nothing on you as a person, all it does is show you that thats not the kind of person you want to spend your time around. he's not worth the energy

bottom line is, if you want to lose weight, do it. if itll make you more confident in finding a partner or more comfortable in your current situation, do it. if it makes you feel better for whatever reason, its not my business. but it is my damn business when i see all you smart beautiful people harming yourselves and putting yourselves down and feeling bad because of a man. no person is ever worth doing this to yourself for. you are worth so much more than that

[jewishdainix]

Not to be dramatic but youll never find the answers till you set your old heart free. Not to be dramatic but when youll lay me down youll only bury bones. Not to be dramatic but cold is the night without you here. Not to be dramatic but heartbreak pales in comparison to love. Not to be dramatic but we were young when we heard you call our names in the silence. Not to be dramatic but like the dawn you broke the dark and my whole earth shook. Not to be dramatic but shell eat you alive. Not to be dramatic but you gotta go on farther than youll ever know. Not to be dramatic but there wasnt any water in the wishing well. Not to be dramatic but if you leave before the stars then there was never love at all. Not to be dramatic but the truth became a tool. Not to be dramatic but still you lead me. Not to be dramatic but all the days of our delights are poison in my veins. Not to be dramatic but they were pointing ever east to see the ever turning eaon cease. Not to be dramatic but rise up to meet it o sleeper awake. Not to be dramatic but heartache Ive heard is part of life and I have broken more and more. Not to be dramatic but it was the raging storm of a foreign war. Not to be dramatic but these bones never rested while living so how can they stand to languish in repose. Not to be dramatic but there will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword. Not to be dramatic but I know who you are now I name you my enemy. Not to be dramatic but theres a wind alive in the valley itll fill your lungs if youll have it. Not to be dramatic but still you beat your drum raising holy wars with every strum. Not to be dramatic but innocent or not youre not a bet I care to take. Not to be dramatic but I babel on until my voice is gone. Not to be dramatic but every inhale I take swallows the ocean whole and I am one with the hurricane. Not to be dramatic but itll rain for forty days and nights and nothing you do can slow the rising tides. Not to be dramatic but by god Ill bloody up my hands with everything I am to cut away the mountains I made and fill the dales bellow. Not to be dramatic but leave it alone child and let it grow. Not to be dramatic but she finishes her cake and takes a bite out of mine. Not to be dramatic but Ive seen the line of ocean and shore the tumbling tide of water and soil. Not to be dramatic but you were the song that Id always sing you were the light that the fire would bring. Not to be dramatic but you paved your hades with precious stone. Not to be dramatic but what other lapis lazuli was hiding behind my colour blindness. Not to be dramatic but promise me that youll start where I end and I promise to give you everything that I am and will go on and on and on. Not to be dramatic but it could feel like rebirth out of some kind of dying to see yourself so glowing. Not to be dramatic but if I'm a mountain moving I think maybe you can be too. Not to be dramatic but we keep fixing what we know is only bound to break. Not to be dramatic but weather by accident or fotune you and I we are matter and it matters. Not to be dramatic but all your sums and your pieces are enough to clean up all the messes youve made I think that youre worth keeping around I think youre worth holding on to. Not to be dramatic but Ill go on and on and on again if my chest dont cave in.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

blank check for ur gold morning thoughts/predictions/etc. how are we feeling about all of this. (& how do u think it's going to end?) <3333

HI. FORGOT I HAD THIS STILL. taking my allotted break time (just started arc 29 ouahg) to finally . answer this

god. what the fuck man. how the fuck am i supposed to put my gold morning thoughts into words. this is gonna be so stream of consciousness and not organized AT ALL sorry :] btw i love that its called gold morning for one. thats so fucked. for the record i still feel so fucking vindicated that i was right all along about scion being scary i will never come down from this high of being so correct about media !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was actually just thinking abt this earlier i still think its so fucking crazy that. the slaughterhouse nine is like NOTHING now. all this time i had thought the apocalypse was gonna be some crazy rise to power for jack and instead hes just. fucking suffocating in some containment foam and his only meaningful contribution was saying some cryptic bullshit that set scion on a rampage. god. i have a lot of feelings abt that. and also the vague bonesaw redemption arc thats happening in the background (i dont want to call it that but also i cant think of the other word for that rn. only other word i can think of is domestication and thats not right either. you know what i mean)

uhhhhhhhhh okay predictions??? overall i do NOT expect worm to have a happy ending. i do still expect taylor to die at some point (shes gotten pretty fucking close a few times but god DAMN that girl is a cockroach (pun . intended)) i think a lot of people are gonna go out in a blaze of glory, specifically because that term has been used quite a few times recently... but i do think theyre going to succeed in either killing scion (probably more likely, we know the worms can be killed or. can at least DIE bc of his counterpart) or my insane person theory which is punting him back out into the cosmos and sending him to continue his cycle somewhere else. if that happens i think all the capes with (natural) powers will lose their powers, but the cauldron capes will still have theirs bc theyre like... artificial and it seemed like scion couldnt affect them as efficiently as he could capes with shards?????? idk. still DYING 2 know what happened to the corpse of the counterpart. potentially the way they send him away is by finding a way to revive it?? and then they can leave together. that seems way too happily ever after than what im expecting though. idk man im just. throwing wet pasta at the wall. if i say enough insane things perhaps i will be sort of kind of right and itll be really funny.

EXTREMELY excited bc like. i have 2 arcs left. i definitely wont finish it today like i was kind of hoping i would but im definitely gonna be. done with worm this week. what an insane thing to say. ive been reading this book since like. what. april? may?? i dont remember. either way holy shit good fucking book everyone read worm NOW. i was planning on drawing/writing some nhw this weekend but god damn i just got sucked into the worm fugue instead i NEED to know how this damn book ends dude.

[dollivication]

hiiii im glad you liked my insane ramblings about guro and OH MY GOD you were so right w the ring finger thing im rotating that concept...i love pathetic men...

speaking of pathetic. kind of springboarding off of what one of the other anons said about Nero but only showing affection when u got them bleeding would make them do some loony shit. you hear hey babe watch this and then dantes intestines are spilling out bc thats the only way he can get your attention and he wants it soso bad. and like they COULD force you to pay attention to them but youre so cold and its so much easier this way because itll just heal later and it really doesn't even hurt that bad anymore? (that is the blood loss talking there are so many stains on the floor that are NOT coming out. perhaps not even just blood teehee)

or like. elbow deep in vergil's guts and hes trying so hard to pay attention when youre naming everything even tho you know hes not gonna be able to focus bc taking an interest in peoples hobbies helps you get closer right?? and really whats more intimate than someone having their hands all up in your organs, no one ELSE has ever touched him there! no one else knows him inside and out like this, its so romantic! especially if you do some freak shit like lick the blood off your hands bc now part of him is in you...utterly delusional i fear

okay last insane thought for now yk how in 3 dante takes a shot to the head like its nothing? imagine asking so nicely and sweetly if you can try it because you wanna see how itll heal and also all the gray matter spattering everywhere. youre not cleaning it up of course its his fault for making such a mess!! also not convinced theres actually brain in there like you are making your insides be on the outside because you want someone to look at you BE NORMAL!!! -☢️

WHEN I READ THIS I WAS GIGGLINH BECAUSE HOLYYYSHIY YU GET ME SO WELL HUGS YOU!!!! LIVE LAUGH LOVE DMC GORE.. cw!!1!1!

THEY ARE BOTH TWO ENDS OF THE FREAKY SPECTRUM AND I AM ABSOLUTELY HERE 4 IT!!! laik omgfgh.. vergil thinks there’s something soww poetic about quite literally giving himself up, all of him, for the person he loves most.

if you decide to laik… cut off his tongue and put it in a jar or just basically any other part of him,, he is going to be over the MOON!!! laik awhh, yu love him so much that you’re preserving a part of him <33 uhm!! please get help! Loony!!!!1!!!1

WHEREAS DANTE IS LAIK.. INITIATING IT!!! comes up to yu laik a kid showing off a bug like hey check out this cool gash you can see my bone!! make it worse pretty please??? you should totally skin me ahahaha…!! LIKE STOP OT YOU CREATURE‼️‼️ JES SO NASTAY he loves the sting methinks..

this is like mary jane 4 him he gets high off this and harder than ever before!!! the only downside for the both of them is that your fascination is often very short-lived… (◞‸◟)

vergil is more likely to wait around until you decide to get hit by another urge to ‘study’ him whereas dante is ALLLWAYS trying to appeal to you. hey, you’ve looked at my ribcage already, look at my brain!! or what about my eye?? YUCK

THE LAST BIT OH MY GODH!!!! it always ends the same! you losing interest after a bit of observing, leaving them to pick up the foul, iron scented mess. auwaaa.. for a split second they probably realize the fucked up situation you’re both in, which i reckon causes them to spiral a bit—before they remember how happy you looked to be squeezing their insides!!…

oh well nobody ever said being together should be a healthy thing! they’ll clean the blood up later,, right now they just need a biiiig nap<3 and the cycle will repeat!!! they can’t wait!

imsosillyimsosillyimsosillyimso

[lesbiantesttube]

Negative/sui weaaarning and also text wall

I know posting about things like this randomly on the internet is like bad and I genuinely dislike using an online web site account for posting about wanting to Kill Myself but I mean obviously irl there arent actually like. Resources for helping with this. Atleast none I've ever found. And if i dont say my words somewhere it WILL turn into a psychotic episode so umm. Uea. Its a habit i dont want to like, keep forever, it's just....Uuuhhh.Yea. Of course no like.. Pressure...For any like, consolance or interaction or anything like I just simply post serious stuff here for the fact it's Out There and Can Be Seen and so theres no forcing to like. Actually say anything.Dont worry

But like i really wanna kill myself so bad. My bday gets closer and closer and closer and I have no excitement. I want to die before it. I know this is like, such a turnaround from my previous thoughts after my sister died, where I was like, "This is where things change!" Nononono. Nothing is where things change or don't change it's all just relative even if she's dead now and even with all of my trauma and mental problems there is no guarantee things will get better, there is no guarantee they WONT get better, nothing is anything Special it's all just Occurrences and Reactions etc and not even in a nihilistic way i literally LOVE the world and feel REALLY hopeful for the world as a whole and I do think everything is amazing it's just like omfg I am so scared and sad all the time and I dont think itll get better like.

I know this sounds like really geeky and stupid but I'm sad that pride month is about to end and I still feel alone and isolated in my identity and who i am and being a gay girl like I really do feel awful if I think about it for too long. I try to ignore myself as long as I can like genuinely until I just cant anymore. I just want to be what everyone else is, that kind of thing.

And i mean dont worry im probably going to be fine. Im going to keep trying. It's just I'm really, really scared and sad and with how my psychotic episodes keep like, getting stronger and stronger in how they control me it's like what if I'm thinking the wrong thing during one and do something I can never turn back from? Like. Uuuyhh.

Pooooooop

[eddiestattoos]

20 questions for fanfic writers!

Tagged by @aintgonnatakethis 💙

How many works do you have on AO3? 46

What's your total AO3 word count? 213 147

What fandoms do you write for? My big two are stargate (any and all. Mostly sg1 and sga though) and csi. Though my ao3 says my most posted fandoms are smallville and spn, and that's technically correct, from the svnatural crossovers. There's a couple other shows thrown in there too but we won't get into my whole writing history and future rn

Top 5 fics by kudos:

The thing about a fantasy (csi, G, CathRick)

Beautiful disaster (sga, sg1, T, Gen.)

Keep me safe (sg1, G, Sam/Daniel)

Take me back into your arms (sg1, T, Sam/Daniel)

Morning person (sg1, G, sam & daniel)

Do you respond to comments? Not always, but no that if you've left a nice comment I'm grinning like an idiot each and every time I read it. I love them.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I feel like I don't write a ton of angsty ending so I might have to say so much for normal (also my 6th fic by kudos). It ends basically how spn starts, so yeah.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oh so many but I think the ultimate one has to be take me back into your arms. Nothing like a reunion after coming back to this mortal coil

Do you get any hate on fics? Thankfully no (knock on wood)

Do you write smut? No siree. Not my wheelhouse

Craziest crossover? I basically started by writing crossovers, but the wackiest is definitely the Jason Teague & Dean Winchester are twins fic. Thanks @morrison-the-ii once again

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I'd allow it!

Have you ever co written a fic? I've bounced ideas with various people, but never actually wrote with anybody

All time favourite ship? I'm not sure tbh. My unhinged svnatural SamLois era was very fun and am still much a fan of Sam/Daniel fics. But one it always seems to come back to writing for me is the brotp between Sara and Nick. They're such a great dynamic to work with and I truly missed writing all csi but especially them so much. Bonus answer Clois, but I don't think I've wrote anything for them. Or at least not anything beyond a ficlet

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have this saving hope doc I've had for over a year that was meant to be a role reversal of the series finale (meaning its Alex because I like to be even more depressing apparently). The doc is still empty to this day and I honestly think itll stay that way but let's be real nobody wants that anyway I know I really don't 😭. Could also say csi road trip fic but I'm damned and determined to write that one

What are your writing strengths? Characters and dialogue. I love characters and I always feel like I have a good grasp on each of them and can keep them in character as much as possible

What are your writing weaknesses? Any kind of creative descriptors.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I doubt I'd personally try it, but I mean if you want to, I don't see a reason not to

First fandom you wrote in? First fic I ever started was Resurfacing (csi, M, gen.) First fic I posted however was the original version of hear it from me (svnatural, G; Clois & Sam)

Favourite fic you've written? Do you know how hard this is? I might have to go with special occasion (svnatural, G; gen.) Just because of how excited I was for that idea combining the best of both worlds. But another one I'm proud of for some reason is just maybe (we'll be alright) (sgu, G; TJ/Young). I don't often feel great about my scene setting and emotion but I like to think I hit the nail on the head with that one

Tagging (no pressure): @sga-owns-my-soul @jencsi @ilkkawhat and @space-helen

But please also feel free to jump on if you see this!

[wolfisland]

hey do you have any first time concert tips

YES!

just as a disclaimer, im physically disabled, australian, and i live in a large city, and those can definitely make a difference here

but heres some tips or things i generally try to follow for myself, under the cut!

⭐ always carry portable chargers. multiple if possible

⭐ stay hydrated. enclosed venues get hot and sweaty and gross and if youre moving around a lot you WILL get dehydrated. some venues offer free water, take advantage of it. also stay masked bc i cannot stress enough what a perfect breeding ground for illness venues can be

⭐ protect your ears. there are loads of noise reduction earbuds marketed towards concerts and loud environments in particular, and honestly in my experience theyre kind of overpricer, but protection is absolutely vital, ESPECIALLY in smaller venues in my experience. noise over 70db over prolonged periods of time will start to damage your hearing and ive seen 90db as the LOWER end for concerts ive been to.

⭐ if you have any headphones or earbuds with active noise cancellation these are also great options, i actually prefer wearing my headphones just with anc on than i do my silly little specialized loop earbuds.

⭐ try not to go to these events alone if you can help it. most concerts are at night and most concerts are at licensed venues and whether youre drinking or not, there will likely be people acting like fools around you. it goes without saying to NEVER accept a drink you didnt watch be mixed or opened yourself.

⭐ make sure people know where you are and make sure you always have enough money easily accessible to you (either in cash, or in your bank account) to pay for an uber or cab or whatever. if its a big concert theres a decent chance itll fuck up public transport. ive left shows at 11 pm and not gotten home til 3 am just because of how crowded shit is and how fucked public transport is after like 10-11 pm

⭐ get your concert merch before the show starts. like every time i am so serious if you wait til after the show 7 times out of 10 whatever you want will be gone.

⭐ if theres an opener i can almost promise you you will not see your headliner for like half an hour after the opener finishes. go pee now

⭐ in some areas if youre disabled just call the venue and ask for accommodations. i can usually make sure i get seated (for free) because im disabled and it makes such a huge difference its not even funny. like just ask. theres no harm in asking, worst case scenario is they say they cant help when you were gonna to to the show anyways. some venues will also make sure security keeps an eye on you so you can exit safely after the show too.

⭐ if youre trying to get close to the front at a show, barricade for example, youre almost always gonna need to show up way earlier than you think you are. an hour? try three. get there early and make yourself comfortable. itll suck and you might not even get close but when you do it fucking rules

⭐ dont be that person who has to get told to shut up. dont be rude or heckle the artists if they arent taking the piss themselves. dont throw shit at them. dont try and climb up on the stage. dont keep yelling while theyre talking. dont interrupt them while theyre talking by showing requests for stuff that isnt on the setlist. if youre close to the stage you might be able to see the setlist (and you might even get the setlist after the show if youre close enough or linger around) OR you can probably search up sets the artists have played recently to get a better idea. dont be a tool.

⭐ pit etiquette sucks rn. covid has made people forgot how to fucking behave and if the artist themselves doesnt set some boundaries dont trust that the venues rules around pits will be respected either. i am so serious. people die in pits so be careful. also tbh almost always unless youre like BIG VENUE big, if you call for a pit and wont get in it yourself youre nothing to me sorry

⭐ if you can, support the openers too! if youre lucky theyll be at the merch stands themselves after if the stand is selling their merch too. definitely go say hi and grab like a shirt or sticker or poster or cd or whatever if you can.

⭐ you will get charged like $20 for a vodka redbull. dont let them charge you $20 for a vodka redbull. pre game elsewhere if youre gonna drink.

⭐ if i think of anything else ill come back here and drop it, feel free to dm me about any of this

[n7punk]

this fic is too much fun and neck stabbings aside catra and adora's relationship issues are also just like. so realistic

"neck stabbings aside" SENT me lmao. thank you! a comment picked up on it, but i was really going in... not necessarily a different direction, but yeah, i guess that's the best way i can think to phrase it XD with this fic and a bit how presented them. exploring a different facet, and the topic of respect in relationships, that kind of thing. it's playing off how catra always felt like she was second best - or specifically, she felt like everyone saw her as second best and she was constantly struggling against that.

so far it has been less than 12 hours. that's all i can say.

wouldn't you like to know uwu nothing like, dark tho lol

(spoiler asks below)

i knew that one was going to be divisive but it's been nearly three years since the show ended and at this point, it's overdue for me to explore LOL. i dont think itll ever pop up again in another fic, but definitely fun to do for this one.

this is actually what i was referring to when i said i wanted yall to just read chapter 3 already LMAO. honestly sometipsygnostalgic's art got me thinking about it and then it just Came Up when i was outlining that scene and i was like. well that's staying in now LOL

obviously im a #catradora4life but honestly i find exploring catrapta and scorptra, kinda season one vibes, fun so catra can have some of that fun too, as a treat. for catra and entrapta, i see it as a fuckbuddys thing where they're just having fun and entrapta's lowkey testing out what her sex toys can do when used collaboratively LOL. catra has absolutely said "are you seriously running an experiment while we're in bed?" and entrapta just blinked at her, uncomprehending, because like... of course she is? how is catra just realizing this now?

and for scorpia's part she's just like... "am i supposed to be sleeping with entrapta too? are we all supposed to be sleeping together? im happy to be included!" XD she's not put off by it, even if she has a crush on catra and wishes they were actually seeing each other. scorpia has a better handle in this on the fact that catra isn't interested in a relationship than she did in, say, Beg For Me. obviously she wants more, but she's not deluding herself that they're more right now. that's helped along by the catra and entrapta thing for sure tho LOL

i like a lot of different headcanons for entrapta, though i lean towards "robotfucker" for her usually because like. she fucked that spaceship lmao. but for this fic, i get to have a little treat and she's aromantic (which is part of why adora said she's not worried about entrapta "replacing" her because she assumed it was just sex), so her thing with catra works out really well. Entrapta doesn't care about finding someone to have sex with when her toy collection is as robust as it is, but when something wanders into her life like catra did, it works out for her.

(sidenote, adora found out entrapta is aromantic because she was going on a rant about catra when they were working on Swift Wind together and entrapta made a comment about being glad she won't have to makes sense of something like this for herself because she finds their relationship tangle confusing which like, dont worry everybody aside from them does too LOL)

girl deeeeefinitely has a big toy collection. and yeah, she made some herself XD her fancy toy collection works with the robotfucker thing especially because like. how else do you fuck a robot if not with fancy toys lol. ive had the headcanon about her having a big collection for awhile because of that

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel kinda bad abt taking my mental health/work day

like yea i get an insane amount of school work but theres ppl i go to school w who have practice, and rehersal and get it done. am i seriously this mentally weak and unstable?? that i get so stressed out and anxious over school i have to take a day to do it cause i cant do my work at school? really???? like i feel idk idk how i feel. i dont think guilty is the right word? but neither is weak? idk. but its bad. theres just so much going on in my family life too that im worried about and i keep trying to tell myself that this is ok and needed and i just have to get the work done but its so hard to not worry and get overanxious to the point i cant go to school. mental health is such a tricky thing and i know its important but i feel so bad when i take care of it. i will say i put on my insta note "needing to stay home from school to do schoolwork is crazy" and like 5 ppl from school have responded saying they do the same thing all the time cause its so necessary. that makes me feel less bad abt taking today off, well not really off im gonna spend my whole day working even tho thats what i did yesterday too after my PSAT and barely made a dent in my planner. its just its so much. so so so so much and i feel bad that other ppl can handle it but i cant. ik ppls brains are built different but how come i struggle so much in school and w school work and others just pass w As and dont even bat an eye???? ig stupid is how it makes me feel. guilty, weak, and stupid. its only october and i feel like im on a sinking ship, i have school to worry abt, loved ones in florida to worry abt, my mas health to worry abt, my health to worry abt, keeping the house at least kinda clean to worry abt, plans to worry abt, social things to worry abt, so much to worry abt. also slightly unrelated but i have a dr appt to go to on saturday and get to skip out on helping w open house at my school and trying to explain to my friend why no she wouldnt rather spend her saturday talking w her mothers spinal surgeon about how she could be paralyzed for the rest of her life, or how her back conditions could kill her. id rather work open house but she insisted i was "lucky" to miss out. i just feel so overwhelmed already. its only october and my mental health is already at such an edge that i cant go to school. ik that going where i go will be good in the long run and the adults around me are constantly telling me that but idk if its worth it since who knows if ill even make it to the long run. they keep insisting that too. ignoring my mental health concerns and just saying that i go to such a good school and my diploma will help me much more than if i went to public school. which is all tru but it shouldnt be at the cost of my mental, and physical health. they say itll make college easier but if this is supposed to prep me for college idk if i can make it another 4 years of this.

im not happy anymore. not long term anyways like sure hoco was fun and i was happy, i was happy getting ready and dancing but as soon as it ended i wasnt happy anymore. i was back to my now usual empty kind of sadness. i watch shows, play games, and make art that usually makes me happy and it doesnt anymore. i stopped drawing for pleasure, only watch shows and yt series to get it over with and havent touched any games in a long time. nothings fun anymore. everyone is so happy, going to parties, hanging out, having fun but here i am practically drowning trying to even crack a smile. ive started just doing the bare minimum for myself to survive. school, sleep, eating, showers basic things. ive abandoned most of my hobbies and ik thats not good for me but i just cant bring myself to do them. i wanna be happy and i dont want ppl ik to worry so i just kinda fake it hoping no one will notice and maybe i can make other ppl happy. im lonely, sad, anxious, guilty, depressed. i should be excited abt things but everything feels like an obligation now. im just trying to go abt life trying not to die and thats pretty much it.

[pwblogarchive]

May 2009

May 24, 2009

“varnish on the table that will last longer than us all…”

in my asymmetrical and non-linear understanding (misunderstanding of) the past few years are only like a dog who bites someones hand. its reflex, by the time the newspaper is swatted at it, its too late the dogs has forgotten everything but shame and self defeat- but not the why. so tail between the legs we circle the yard we just want to come back inside where we can hear the laughs and cheers of the people world going on with out us. its not everything thats different that makes us tick, its the way we hold on to the normal parts of us. we need them most. they are the processing drive that essentially keeps us alive. we need society so that we can sit just at the edge of it and critique it but every once in awhile we need to sneak in and warm ourselves on the fire. there is a grace to rolling, to the perfect spiral. but there is no grace in going end over end. its an amusement park ride at best- but at worst it is light and dark, dawn and dusk, spinning end over end so fast that it becomes a blur. the great black sadness poison and beaks and all and the warming sun just become the same. its that lithium point. the drooling effect. zombie. been going through kitchens and back doors for awhile now, so youd never know. feel like im walking around with a sign on my back of some kind. every one i know wants to take me in, to pull me aside for that all important conversation where i figure me out- we pull out of perspective- maybe i dont want to figure me out. maybe every time you thank me, i feel like ive pulled the rug out from under you. every time you curse me, i quietly applaud because you know what? maybe youre right. maybe they all are. snag. hit a snag. always do. turn over a new leaf, fuck it turn over the whole tree. itll be a new day all the bodies hanging from the branches will be buried in beautiful ceremonies. and besides well finally have roots. something to dig in to. ive forgotten most everyone i ever cared for if they dont keep tabs on me. not saying that should come as much of a surprise its just me. i dont want to clear up any confusion. i dont want to clarify black or white, im totally entranced with the idea of remaining gray. and if my eyes pour its just for the garden that is its lashes. nothing more. cause really its just that newspaper swat and i couldnt remember for the life of me what ive done or where ive been thats got me shaking to my karmic bone. the "h.m.s. sinking" feeling is sneaking up on me. thats what you get in open waters, right? royal navy to the crown prince of pointlessness. you got addicted to the blur. its the stage. its the plane. its the kiss. its the strut. and when it all slows down its just you in a room so dark you cant even tell how big it is. been asleep so long ive forgotten my name. stumble. the night has a plan. if not the night has a point: "if you cant remember it why would you ever miss the blur?" think of all the in-betweens. knuckles numb from the walls youve puched, knees buckling from all the legs youve loved. all the toasts weve made. all the hugs. blow past the exit sign. the exist sign. were ticking. were wicks sparking....

May 28, 2009

“what do you want to call it?”

i got that midnight tennis elbow

the solitaire rugburn

took a turn (an ace up my sleeve)

i want to choke (u)

and get sick off of you like secondhand smoke

ya got me sweating like calcutta nights

such a sweet epiphany

i am a wing

i am a prayer

a thimble and an acorn

a promise from a poor apocathary- to an understudy in love forlorn

ill give you heatstroke

im getting you and im losing me

wed get legendary lil darlin, uh huh lil darlin

but ive got a nomadic head

i love ya but ive caught the doom and the dread

[smileymoth]

venting 👍.

I desperately yearn to create a story that is in depth and has a start a culmination and an end, i have the ability to create really in depth characters, i can plan out their entire lives, but because most characters who i create are just boring people whose lives aren't interesting they don't really get those types of stories. I can write autobiographies of my ocs and one shots of them going out or something, but i lack the brain for actually worthy storylines. It makes me miserable. I just want to create something that would be worth it, that would have depth instead of being just a pretty picture to look at. I get a lot of validation and praise but because im so self critical and nothing i ever do is special enough ill never really accept any of it. I just kind of feel like a fraud with everything i do. Nothing i do is interesting enough, nothing is new enough, nothing is worth the time. I dont really see value in what i do i guess because it has no capital value. I dont know hwy ive based my worth around if i could make it into a career. I guess its because i really dont want to get a normal job, i think it would kill me. But i also know that im not enough to ever achieve what i dream. Im so worried about the ending i dont even know the plot or whatever that flatsound song title was. Literally me. I try create but then i get stuck because its not good enough, and i quit. Becuase i cant figure it out perfectly. Because theres no point in finishing somrthing that has no value. Especially when it comes to writing/comics. I shouldve gone to study estonian fr fr what am i doing in the media dep when i cant even put together a coherent story or make a compelling poster . im kind of just a fraud and a lot of wasted potential because my ego gets in the way of existing because i cant take criticism without falling apart at the seams aproximarely 4 months later because ive sown it into my brain wrinkes by thinking about it on the daily . Its all my own fault but i dont think i can change it. I just need to accept it at one point and become a regular person who works an office job. At least id have regular income. I dont know. I want to drop out but i wont because then ill have no purpose in life. Ill enjoy feeling like i have something to live for while it lasts before it becomes a blur of getting a job (if theyd even hire me ever considering i have no working experience beside freelance and being a hotel room cleaner for 2 months) going to work going home going to sleep waking up going to work etc etc etc like every normal adult . I just wish i didnt get so depressed thinking about being alive but what can you do . Im not skilled enough to become a designer, i have no networking for it, and i hate marketing.

I used to think id die before 40 and tjen that slowly left because damn 40 is sooo young but now im back where i dont think ill make it past that age. So ive probably already wasted all my potential and chances of ever becoming anything. I just dont see the point of being alive really. And i also dont understand why ive been spiralling again. Nothing is wrong. But everytime i think about creating something i just get the desperate need to hurt myself because itll never be anything up to standard. And its all my own fault. Yay. I think i deserve to be miserable st this point because im not even attempting to get better. Im just alive for no reason. Im kind of dead already to myself . I ❤️ self punishment over menial things that nobody else cares about. Worst part im aware how stupid and overdramatic i sound, but i also cant help but believe it all to be true because why wouldnt it be. It makes so much sense to me