#mary and pandora

[norry-yippee]

Morning in the Slytherin dorms

Pandora- You guys how are we feeling?

Barty- I feel good.

Pandora- Oh my gosh, positive energy, I love that. Regulus? Regulus!

Regulus- no.

Pandora- Okay, I love you too!

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

pandora hates hates hates feeling hair on her back/neck. evan used to tie it up for her in braids because pandora gets restless and can't focus enough to (she also hates it messy) but when her and evan fall out she just wants to cry 24/7 because she likes her hair down a lot it's just that when it gets Too Much she doesn't and by then she's already forgotten what the fuck a braid is and at first dorcas used to help but dorcas was busy with her new girlfriend (maria? madelyn? ... ugh who cares) and she goes to a party and her hair is made up pretty and goes down to her elbows and she's having sm fun but Oh No something horrible is happening and she's suddenly so so so aware of everything like the punch being poured and two prefects making out and the heat and the Hair oh my god it's prickly and warm and it's bad and she wants to cry and she's throwing up oh god is she throwing up yes she is its foul and her hair isnt held back and its disgusting and she's crying and and and

mary holds her hair back. pandora stops crying and looks up, mary sweetly assures her that she still thinks pandora is a muggle-hating bitch, and she's only doing this because pandora looks pathetic sobbing into a toilet bowl

then they have shower sex

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[rosieevan]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[sspadfoot]

The Marauders doing the trauma dumping sweet trend on TikTok

Sirius: My names Sirius and my parents used to torture me as a punishment until I had to run away and I brought haribos

Remus: My names Remus and when I was 5 I was bit by a werewolf because he hated my dad and I brought sour patch kids

Peter: My names Peter and I was tortured until I joined a fascist cult and I brought giant strawberries

James: My names James and my boyfriend broke up with my to join the cult because his parents told him to and I brought jolly ranchers

Regulus: My names Regulus and I’m that boyfriend. I also tried to drown myself on multiple occasions and I brought marshmallows

Barty: My names Barty and I was imperioed by my dad for most of my life, until I became crazy, and I brought twizzlers

Evan: My names Evan and I was forced by my parents to join a cult and I brought rainbow laces cause we’re all fruity

Pandora: My names Pandora and I can see the future so I saw all of my friends and family die and I brought skittles

Dorcas: My names Dorcas and my girlfriend was killed by one of my oldest friends and then I had to go face to face with the leader of the cult and I brought airheads

Lily: My names lily and my sister hated me for most of my life and I had a horrible toxic best friend who called me slurs and I brought nerds

Marlene: My names Marlene and I was killed by my best friend, my sister was also kidnapped and tortured and I brought Reeces

Mary: My names Mary and I was obliviated by my headteacher and I don’t remember why and I brought squashies

[vomits0cutely]

Harry: i grew up with a lesbian mother and a bisexual father, both of which have a wife and husband so I didn’t know straight people existed until I was like 6

Ron: [is confused on who has a wife and who has a husband] Hold up, I’m confused say that again but slow

Luna: wait me too

Pansy: that’s the life every child deserves.

[vroomvroomtothemoon]

How each character found out about jegulus!

Remus: saw them together on the map when they had just started sneaking around

Peter: went to his favourite greenhouse to water his plant babies and caught them snogging

Lily: james broke and told her because he NEEDED to say something and knew she could keep a secret

Mary: saw james reading a book so she snuck up behind him and read the annotations and saw it wasn’t his handwriting, he also broke and told her

Marlene: saw regulus sneaking into the Gryffindor changing room so she eavesdropped and heard regulus call James ‘baby’

Pandora: regulus told her as soon as he got back from seeing james because they kissed and he was ecstatic

Dorcas: Marlene told her because she cannot keep a secret for long, especially not from dorcas

Barty: let’s be honest, we all know he followed regulus and watched through the keyhole of the classroom door

Evan: was told as soon as barty got back because they needed to brainstorm how to drop the fact that they know

And finally, Sirius: walked in on James comforting regulus(hugging him and kissing the top of his head) while he cried and told james that he was sure Sirius hated him

[bartychaser]

Reg: ehm, James?

James: what is it, love?

Reg: what if I told you that Barty knows about us and told Evan who told Pandora who couldn't keep quiet and told Dorcas who has no secrets with Marlene so she told her and Mar is best friends with Mary and Lily so they know too and lily- well she is best buddies with Remus and Remus has no secrets with my brother, so-

James: you want to say they are happy for us? That’s- That’s good, innit?

Reg:

James: what?

Reg: you got that part with Remus and my brother and no secr-

*door flies open*

Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER

James: oh… OH shit

[chrhnchynoodles]

New favorite headcanon that when Sirius became an animagus he slowly became red green colorblind bc dogs are red green colorblind so when James sat down for dinner wearing a loose green tie with deshevelled hair in the great hall and Peter spit out his drink, Remus’ jaw dropped, and all the girls were laughing hysterically making bets (Mary thought it was Barty Lily and Marlene guessed it was Regulus off the bat) Sirius was none the wiser and just thought he’d gotten back from quidditch practice or had shagged a random gryffindor. So when Marlene tried to point it out but Remus stomped on her foot to get her to shut the fuck up.

[gender-thief2]

Part 33!! happy pride month!

[norry-yippee]

Marauders instagrams, I might make more

[a-great-tragedy]

I’m glad that J.K. Rowling has never written about the marauders and that no company has made a marauders film adaptation because 1, it would be boring (and straight) and 2, what’s great about the fandom is that we made the whole thing up. Some names were mentioned once or twice in the book and we gave them full on personalities. Everyone has different opinions on different characters and I think that’s the best part of this.

[outromoony]

"My child is fine." Your child is reading the angstiest fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends on purpose.

[brbcryingintheclub]

James “fuck it” Potter

Sirius “fuck me” Black

Remus “fuck off” Lupin

Peter “oh fuck” Pettigrew

Lily “fuck this” Evans

Marlene “fuuuuccck” McKinnon

Mary “fuck you” Macdonald

Dorcas “fuck my life” Meadows

Regulus “fuck everything” Black

Evan “well fuck” Rosier

Barty “for fucks sake” Crouch Jr.

Frank “fuck fuck fuck” Longbottom

Alice “what the fuck” Prewett

[xkingmox]

This is Rosekiller (but also just everyone from the marauders era in general)

[reggieblackdiary]

That marauders fanfic of Jily’s son written by JKRowling is cray cray, why does everyone keep dying ????