#marie talks about life

[mariesilvsews]

Life things!!

Okay so, as a few of y'all have noticed I've been absolute crap this year as far as being productive, social, existing in general, etc etc etc.

So... besides being super burned out earlier this year because of overdoing it at school, I was also just kinda overdoing it at life.

Mental health; my depresso is stresso. I'm talking to my primary care about getting a referral for a psychiatrist this week, so I can work on my depression more successfully with meds + therapy. Hopefully it'll help (fingers crossed). This right here is like my number 1 reason why I haven't done shit. It's been so bad I've barely felt like I exist.

It's been so bad I started off the new year with a menty b as well as something else that I hadn't done in years, but won't mention here.

Class starts this week but 3 (maaaaaybe 4) of my 5 classes I'm not expecting too much trouble in this semester. One should be kinda challenging? Not sure about a second one yet.

Physical health; some of y'all know, I got hand surgery last summer and while my nerves no longer hurt, I'm still struggling with the bone and ligament pains. So, I'll be contacting my ortho about that as well. I miiiight need physical therapy to work on hand strength idk. I was recommended rest but unfortunately because of the depression, I Cannot Rest™ or I will get more big sads.

I'm also just feeling shitty in general cause guess who got asthma symptoms from allergy shot therapy (me). Working on that too. ;^;

Skating classes resume in two weeks, and while I feel grossly not ready for it physically, I am kinda looking forward to it. Hopefully with help from psychiatric and pain management, I'll be able to actually participate more aah. (I kinda gave up half way through the fall class session, and didn't even participate in winter, so literally I haven't been to the rink since September.....)

Skating friends probably think I ditched them qq and I kinda did, cause I haven't gone to acro yoga or rock climbing or anything with them since before hand surgery, too. I feel bad for not joining them on things but I haven't been able to do anything lately, really.

I've baaaarely been existing and barely able to even take basic care of myself (like getting myself to brush my hair, shower, eat, drink water, do laundry, that kind of thing).

Gonna try (emphasis on try) to work on health this year mainly. I made myself a detailed list of misc goals and to-do list for this year too. I'm hoping that with the personal care needs getting better, I'll be better about working on my to-do list too. Fingers hella crossed.

[jenanigans1207]

What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.

And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.

He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.

And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.

Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.

And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.

But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.

Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.

It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.

Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.

And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.

And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.

And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.

“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”

And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.

And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”

[sherokutakari]

Okay but can we have Mary meet Ed

PLEASE can we have Mary meet Ed?

[arthursfuckinghat]

The worst part about playing rdr2 again is knowing who's going to die, how they're going to die, when they're going to die, and not be able to do a single thing about it

[labyrinthhofmymind]

the marauders talking in their dorm room at night:

james: are you sure she was looking at me like that? i don’t want to get my hopes up

sirius: no i swear, evans was looking at you like you were a snack she wanted to devour

peter: that seems far fetched-

sirius: no i mean it! c’mon remus back me up!

remus: i mean she did look pretty happy to see you…

sirius: see! i told you!

james: wow ok…. *starts giggling and blushing and kicking his legs on the bed*

the girls talking in their dorm at night:

marlene: if i flung myself off the top of the astronomy tower, how long do you reckon it’d take for someone to find me?

mary: depends if you fall screaming or you just jump off quietly

marlene: mhm, fair point-

lily: no one goes around the bottom of the astronomy tower, and if you didn’t tell anyone that’s where you were heading than it’s possible no one will ever find you. your body will just end up lying in a distorted position on the grass for years probably, your corpse will be all decaying and rotting. that’s only to say if the animals from the forbidden forest haven’t eaten you yet. i mean i guess if someone was flying on a broom they might be able to spot you overhead, but there’s lots of trees and it’s a very secluded area, so chances are very slim.

marlene:

mary:

lily: but yeah mary’s right if you fall screaming someone might find you-

[beyondthislifetime]

People who truly dislike Edwina Sharma are wild. Heaven forbid an 18 year old be charmed after being almost relentlessly pursued by an older man. Three married women, including her mother, are for the match. THE QUEEN is for the match. The only person saying he isn't right for her is her sister and like I'm sorry but my sister could swear that a man wasn't that into me and I would not listen if he BOUGHT ME A HORSE!???!!?!!

[m-a-r-i--c-h-a-t]

maybe it's lust cat noir! can't you just let a girl have her kink?!

[sciderman]

spider-man & the human torch #5

[honeygreatminds]

I'M CRYING, SOMEONE JUST TOLD ME ABOUT HOW MY FAVOURITE SMALL ARTIST I'M SEMI BESTIES WITH (WE OCCASIONALLY TEXT) AND HAD A PART IN HER MUSIC VIDEO, IS A TRUMPIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ofhouseusher]

drunk and thinking about mary mcdonnell

[static-scribblez]

Can you guys tell I like drawing the bug woman

Thought I’d mention this outside the tags - this is a redraw of a previous/recent doodle I made of her, incase anyone wonders why I’ve already redrawn something not even a month or week after posting it

[landslided]

lawrusso ending where they started living together and johnny gets a little fat because he’s eating three homecooked meals a day now and he’s fucking beautiful. lawrusso ending where daniel stops working on the floor of the auto shop because he’s great at being a salesman but it doesn’t mean he likes it and he stops dyeing his hair and the grey at his temples makes johnny all hot and bothered. lawrusso ending where they’re old and in love and happy!!!

[capybaraonabicycle]

Apples of Avonlea (Anne & Marilla & Matthew)

For @jennyandvastraflint for the prompt 'apple picking'

Here you go, friend! I want to apologise in advance for the anti-math stance prevalent in the fic. That is not my opinion, I am completely blaming it on Anne. And Marilla and Matthew agree with me that algebra is lovely. Probably.

I hope you enjoy! Thank you for the prompt <3

Rating: General

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, but the complaints about math, I believe

Words: 968

It was October and the apple trees at Green Gables were hung full with the sweetest, reddest apples in all of Avonlea - that was if you asked one Anne Shirley Cuthbert. Miss Stacy had given an algebra lesson to be worked upon for the afternoon, but the sun was in the sky and Matthew was starting the picking season.

So Anne had begged and pleaded until Marilla had exclaimed "Then go with him, Anne, for Heaven's sake! You won't be able to concentrate on your lessons in either case!" and the girl had fled the kitchen not a second after.

Matthew was all too happy to have chatty, wiry Anne with him, who had a much easier time climbing up ladders and coming up with ideas to sweeten the work, like work songs to sing or birds to wave to that were retreating south for the winter.

When Marilla found them, Matthew was picking already fallen apples from the ground and Anne was prancing through a tree's canopy, pretending she was Princess Cordelia overseeing the orchards in her realm, donning apples to the commoners when filling her bag.

"Anne Shirley Cuthbert!" Marilla called in exasperation, hurrying closer fast as she could. "What are you doing!"

"Oh, Marilla!" Anne sighed, leaning from a branch at a dangerous angle to wave at her. "Isn't it just the loveliest day to go apple picking? Isn't autumn just the most splendid time in the year?"

"You get down right this minute!" Marilla ordered. "Matthew! Did you allow this?"

"I -" Matthew looked up, scratching his neck. "I didn't think it was an issue, having Anne on the ladder and me on the ground."

Admittedly, by the time he had finished his defence, Anne had climbed down to the ladder, almost twice her height lower than the canopy she had presently resided in.

"You should be ashamed!" Marilla fumed, cradling Anne against herself as soon as her feet touched the grass. "Both of you! I dread to think what could have happened."

"I am sorry, Marilla" Anne cried. "I did not mean to be bad, today, I promise! It just keeps happening against my deepest desires!"

"Well, this time, it is Matthew's fault more than yours, Anne" Marilla allowed. "He should have reminded you to stay on the ladder. And preferably not let you mount in the first place."

Matthew looked fittedly sheepish and Marilla signaled with a curt nod that all was forgiven.

"Dry your eyes, now, Anne." She stepped away from the girl. "Nothing bad has happened finally."

"Are you no longer angry with us, Marilla?" she asked, dabbing at her eyes with her apron.

"No, I am not angry" Marilla smiled.

"That's tremendous, Marilla" Anne rejoiced. "Because I got something for us!"

She pulled three perfect, round apples from her apron, holding them out to her family.

"These are the prettiest apples I could find" she said solemnly, handing one to Marilla and Matthew each. "And I hoped - I hoped -"

She heaved a sigh, overcome with such a deeply-felt emotion, she could not continue.

"Get your words out slowly, Anne" Marilla reminded her strictly but fondly. "There's no need to rush yourself."

Matthew in turn reached out a hand for Anne to hold and steady herself on, which she took gratefully. Anne nodded, breathing in and out once more before managing to go on.

"I hoped, no, I dreamed," she whispered, "we could eat them together now. The first apples of the season! We could have a little ceremony to greet autumn and celebrate the apple harvest. Can we do that, Marilla? Oh, please say, we can, Marilla! It would be terribly romantic!"

Not long ago, Marilla would have found such a notion silly. But she knew how much ceremonies and romantic moments meant to Anne, so she nodded her agreement.

"We can have a ceremony and then you can come back with me and do your algebra while Matthew finishes up here" she decided.

"Oh, Marilla!" Anne whined. "How can you speak of algebra now, when we are standing underneath the most resplendent apple tree? Algebra is not romantic at all!"

"Hush now" Marilla said. "I agreed to your ceremony, so quit complaining."

Immediately, Anne turned all serious and festive.

"We should hold our apples close to each other in the middle" she ordered and Marilla and Matthew followed her lead. "And then we think very hard of the beauty of autumn and how grateful we are the tree is carrying so many delicious apples and how good it is to live in a world where you can go apple picking in Avonlea at Green Gables."

"And-" Matthew started shyly but when Anne nodded encouragingly, he continued: "And we're very grateful too, that we have an Anne at Green Gables. Who can pick many apples. And - and enjoy autumn. With us."

He clapped his mouth shut and Anne squirmed with happiness.

"Matthew!" she beamed. "Thank you! That was beautiful!"

"And now?" Marilla asked and Anne, very carefully, tapped her apple against Matthew's and Marilla's.

"Now, we eat the apples" she said.

The all dug in and Anne's face contorted in utter bliss.

"Matthew" she whispered. "This is the best apple, I have ever had. Your trees are miraculous!"

"They will make for a fine apple crumble" Marilla agreed, gingerly licking apple juice from her fingers. "Good work, Matthew!"

Anne's eyes grew wide.

"Apple crumble?" she echoed devoutly.

"I'll teach you the recipe" Marilla promised. "But come on now. You have work to do in the kitchen, and so do I."

Anne nodded wistfully. She bid goodbye to Matthew and followed Marilla willingly enough.

"You know what, Marilla?" she said, while they were walking home through the fading evening sun, "After eating an apple like that, not even algebra can scare me."

Thanks for reading! Shut up, Anne, algebra is very romantic <3

[fictionadventurer]

I didn't realize just how much Little Town on the Prairie meant to me as a book. I've barely started and every bit feels iconic. This one and Little House on the Prairie feel more like home than most of the other books do.

[clegfly]

‘Puter mari can’t read rooms. Or screens I guess

[garciafamlover500]

MORE AUTISTIC JAVIER GARCIA

So i like to imagine when javi was younger and finding out he was autistic, he would feel ashamed of himself because he felt like he was weird and more different then other kids. He never really liked loud noises or playing with people his age and was always a picky eater when it came to certain food textures. This would cause him to get picked on a lot and the only person he openly talked about it with was david, and david (because i crave more brotherly fluff between these two) would just sit with javi and offer his best support.

Speaking of david, i could totally see little javi infodumping about all his special interests to david and david would just sit there and smile the whole time while also forgetting half of what he's talking about because of how fast he would speak.

I also see javi stimming in multiple ways. (e.g chewing on different stuff like pencils and his own shirt, humming to himself, rocking back and forth and rapidly tapping his feet.)

(AND LIKE IMAGINE DAVID GIVING JAVI NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES IN CASE HE GOT OVERSTIMULATED AND JAVI WOULD JUST GATHER HIM IN THE TIGHTEST BEAR HUG EVER.)

But as javi and david grew older and their relationship began to crumble, i imagine javi would start to feel more ashamed of himself and would desperately try to hide his autistic traits, such as stims and sensitivty to loud noises (at least whenever he was in public). And as the apocalypse began it got even worse (escpecially when the events of ANF happen.)