#this subject will probably be its own post by the end of the book

[fictionadventurer]

I didn't realize just how much Little Town on the Prairie meant to me as a book. I've barely started and every bit feels iconic. This one and Little House on the Prairie feel more like home than most of the other books do.

[drdemonprince]

At one point he was down in between my legs, fingering me, and he made a throwaway comment about probably being Autistic. 

I leaned back, trying to relish what pleasure I was getting. “Well, we can talk about that subject, if you like,” I said vaguely, not really wanting to bring my professional life into things. 

He kept working away at my body, kissing between my lips and thighs. “Oh I know who you are,” he said suddenly. “Your book changed my life. In a way, I guess this is me thanking you.” 

I made him exit my body and we went to the kitchen to hash it out. It turned out he was a big fan of many things I’d written. 

“I’ve seen you around the neighborhood many times,” he confessed. “But you posted online that you don’t like when people come up to you, and so I always decided to leave you alone.” 

He said, “Your book is the reason I got divorced, actually. My ex-husband was a therapist, and when I showed him your book and said I thought I might be Autistic, he didn’t believe me. We have been separated for a year.” 

He asked, “Did I just make this weird, telling you when I did that I was a fan?” I told him that if he’d said it sooner, I would have never fucked him at all. 

People never realize that when they approach me, what they are doing is dragging me into work. It doesn’t matter whether I was at breakfast, or an orgy. I was just some guy standing there, enjoying his beer, but now they have made me the known scholar and author. And sure, my job might be meaningful, but that doesn’t mean I like to work. 

I tell my friend that I no longer want to be a public figure, and that I am planning how to make it all end. She tells me, “You’ve got to do what is the best for you, even if it’s something that the rest of us wants and can’t imagine giving up.” 

I ask myself, did I want this? It would be more flattering to say I didn’t, and play the role of the hermetic author whose work developed its own life purely because it was so good. But that isn’t true. 

From the moment I got a Myspace account in high school, I was publishing essays about my political views. I serialized multiple novels on Tumblr, guerilla marketing them with giveaways and custom-made images until they hit the Kindle sales charts. I have made memes, tried starting viral trends, coined phrases, and given hundreds of hours’ worth of media interviews. I write prescriptive nonfiction, for Christ’s sake. Of course people seek guidance from me. I offer it up! 

I have been strategic about how I dress, and my video backdrops, and retaken clips of myself speaking over and over again until they sounded right. I’ve hosted debates with my most vicious critics while I’m in the shower, started public beef with creators who had larger accounts than I did, and rushed to my keyboard when upsetting news broke, because I alone was possessed of the most correct take on it.

I wanted this. I didn’t know what this was, this internet fame I was chasing, but I did all I could to make it mine. I thought that by writing so much, I would one day be able to escape myself, maybe really feel connected to other people. Instead it has meant never being able to stop thinking about myself: how I am seen, what I am working on, how it all fits together, what comes next. It has also meant being spoken about, theorized about, and criticized, and developing a firm exoskeleton of disdain between myself and the world. 

I believe now that that it is immoral for any person to be listened to by ninety thousand other people. Holding authority and status like that runs counter to my anarchic ideals. I am not more important or correct than anyone. I should not be trusted to tell people which commodities to buy, which companies not to support, what to read, what to think, what words to use, or how to conduct their lives. 

All the other animals know there is no one way that a creature “should” live. There is only the way that it does. The world has no consciousness, no beliefs. It cannot pass judgment. We only feel so watched and evaluated because we have covered the planet with so many millions of our eyes. But we can stop performing dignified human goodness at any moment. 

I think that celebrity is an evil, corrupting force that pits the human instinct for bonding against itself. Instead of appreciating the singing of our friends around the fire, we stream Chappell Roan until stalkers break into her house. Rather than playing card games together, we stan Twitch streamers, filling up their chats with highlighted messages until they acknowledge us. We long to be famous novelists because then we would have the social permission to write, and we don’t have the money or time to enjoy the activity on its own. 

I wrote about Chappell Roan, stalker stans, and how turning art into content creation ruins the work, and the creator's life. It's free to read in full (or have narrated to you by the app!) on Substack.

[lxmelle]

Gojo’s letters & the implied parting message (Part 2)

I came across a view on Twitter (now X) that was interesting that I probably would have never thought of myself. While I may not agree with it 100% on its own, I can totally see the value in it and I wanted to share it here, seeing as how others may appreciate the perspective too. I’ve added my own thoughts which you’re welcome to read… Then you can make up your own mind about your personal interpretation 😊

So the sentiment is as follows:

At the end of HI, past-Gojo casually went up to Megumi to tell him that he killed his father, showing us that he is a little tactless. But, upon being told what Megumi wanted, he respected that Megumi didn’t want to know and accepted this for 10 years.

Despite that; however, we can infer from things we have been shown that he has always wanted Megumi to know. He was probably waiting for a good time. (As we know, Gojo doesn’t really impose his view onto others.)

Knowing there had to be a time where this message was delivered, he prepped the letter that would only be delivered if he (Gojo) died.

And what better timing & purpose, if it could help Megumi absolve any guilt he might have over (his body) killing Gojo? (Because him being dead meant Megumi likely killed him, thanks to Sukuna.)

According to the person whose Twt I read, they felt that Megumi’s laughing reaction was due to Gojo’s uncharacteristic consideration for him.

In other words, he was relaying it after he died to Megumi as a way to say: You got this cuz I’m dead. “And if you think your father is out there somewhere, he isn’t. It was me who killed him. Soz!” So don’t feel guilty.

Hm. Well, this was kind of echoed in at least another tweet and there were a few who made it out as if this was a fitting interpretation.

I also gathered from my last post on this subject, that Megumi was chuckling out of fondness, like “Geez, that’s so typical of you, sensei.”

But I do personally think it’s important to underline the fact that Gojo has always put in the effort to understand people even if he struggled to show it, or showed it clumsily. (Just like, “have you had too much somen?” - as said to Geto, back in the day.) So maybe it seemed uncharacteristic to Megumi, but I hope as a reader, we understand that Gojo had his own ways of being kind.

After all who can blame him if he didn’t quite fully understand what it meant to have blood family, being separated from his own? Born as an anomaly - a mutant amongst mutants. Who felt like others (flowers) couldn’t never comprehend a creature — and who could, unless they were bestowed with some monstrous skill themselves? (Like Geto, and Gojo had hoped, Sukuna... but the latter clung onto his stubborn self-protective belief of not needing “love” (compassion) until the very end, choosing to die instead of taking Yuji’s hand - another post on this another time).

And Gojo, after having been told last words from Toji and Geto about the importance of family, he may have gathered that it was better for Nobara and Megumi to know, than to have it concealed from them. Hence, the letters.

Know your family. Then decide who your family really is.

My own thoughts about the theory are as such: Gojo may have really wanted to tell Megumi that it was he who killed his father, because this was the only person he killed without a reason. (…that we know of: Gojo was canonically shown to have only killed two humans - Toji & Geto).

After Geto left, the parting message was: “don’t kill anyone other than me” - in other words, don’t do what I did, because that will make you lonely. If you need to kill, kill if there is a clear purpose or meaning in it.

This was his last lesson delivered to Gojo. We know his parting phrase was imbued with meaning due to everything we saw in HI and the draft words that Gege released from chapter (78) - important enough to make it to the exhibition and Gojo’s JUMP GIGA Character Book.

Geto played a significant role in him smartening up, how to connect with others, how to empathise with people, to think about what his responsibilities were as someone with strength.

So Gojo telling Megumi this was almost as if to say: you can stop wondering about him now; you weren’t left behind. I killed your father. You don’t have to feel responsible for it because there was meaning in it too.

In words Gojo might use: I killed him, you killed me. We’re even!

I guess it’s not only because Megumi couldn’t help it being Sukuna’s vessel. But also that he avenged his father’s death. All of Megumi’s thoughts relating to his father and Tsumiki as above: Retribution, karma, discipline… fairness and Megumi deserved happiness too.

And he chose to live again, starting by living for Yuji. A new purpose… he didn’t want Yuji to be lonely.

A loneliness I think he knew all too well.

He can add on more family after that. Nobara. Etc.

That’s it I guess. Thoughts?

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

The Locked Tomb Series- Alecto Theory

Brace yourselves this is 3000 words of me connecting dots that aren't even there.

First things first, this post is an amalgam of various brilliant theories I have seen posted on Tumblr, so if anything feels familiar, that will be the main reason. I am just going to present my own take on this, and hopefully add something new to what we already have.

                The subjects of today’s conspiracy theory are Alecto and Anastasia -and Cassiopeia in part, the vow to Anastasia’s bloodline and what could very possible be, Dios Apate MAJOR.

                So let’s start with what we have from the books, and feel free to correct me or add sth I might have forgotten.

                Anastasia and Samael are the only ones of the original Lyctor batch, that didn’t complete the Lyctorhood process, thanks to - in no small part – John, and/or possibly Alecto. (“I am sorry about Samael”). Which could mean that Alecto was somehow involved in the whole process going wrong, and thus she feels responsible for Samael’s death, or that she was close enough with Anastasia and Samael, that she herself felt Samael’s loss, or she felt for Anastasia’s grief. (I like to believe that they did have a tentative friendship even before the vow thing happened.)

                Anastasia is also the only one of the Lyctors we know, so far, to have had children. Which is an important bit on its own, (Can full Lyctors, have children? If so, are they different from other children, necromantic or not? Is there a reason that in spite of biological capability- if it exists-the other Lyctors have chosen not to have children? Even with Augustine’s and Mercymorn’s plan we see that in the end Gideon is conceived with Wake’s material – John is a whole different story as far as Lyctorhood goes so he doesn’t count.)

Back to our discussion though, Anastasia’s bloodline was so important to the Ninth House that it has been preserved for 10.000 years. We do not really get a clear picture on whether the Reverend Family knows why the continuation of the bloodline is important, Harrow certainly doesn’t, but it was so deeply ingrained to them that Anastasia’s bloodline must remain intact, that they effectively committed genocide, dooming the House’s future, in order to produce one more direct descendant of the Saint that wasn’t.

We do get a hint, a rather big one, on why the preservation of Anastasia’s blood is so important, in Nona’s Epilogue. Alecto states that Harrow is “the blood of the tombkeeper” after kissing her and drawing blood. What did she taste on Harrow’s blood I wonder? And how did she recognize the taste, as the taste of Anastasia’s line? Did the vow she initially made to Anastasia herself involve them drawing blood? Did it bind them to one another, so deeply that they ingrained themselves into each other on a molecular level?

To add to this, young Harrow, young desolate Harrow, who had had enough with her life and was prepared to die, young Harrow who opened the Tomb for that express purpose, loves Alecto from sight. And decides to keep living for her. And there is something exceedingly weird to just how much Harrow loves Alecto. Alecto is probably the most attractive person Harow lay her eyes upon to that day, true, but this instant infatuation, and its persistence throughout the years has something more to it, don’t you think? As Gideon points out, both to herself and to Ianthe, Harrow’s heart belongs to the dead cold body in the Tomb. And said cold dead body in the Tomb, recognizes Harrow from sight when she wakes “Alecto recalled her, for it was a face once dreamed in Alecto’s dream.”

And this line begs the question. Could Alecto dream, in the tomb? If so, how? And what did she dream of? Did she dream of Harrow? Why did she dream of Harrow if that is the case? Or did she dream of Anastasia, and the resemblance is that great? On the other hand, if this refers to Harrow first opening the Tomb, and looking at Alecto, does that mean that she was in some form conscious throughout that stasis? Does this mean that she could have heard and felt Anastasia while they were both locked in the Tomb, for however long the other woman lived?

(The scene where Nona describes the feeling of Anastasia's hands in the water and feeling safe. I am going to cry.)

I do have an interesting theory about Alecto’s “dreams” but we’ll get there in a bit.

Something else that is fishy, is that the Ninth, is the House of the Sewn Tongue. It sounds a bit like too much flesh magic for a bone magic house to specialize in, right? The cure to the Sewn Tongue on the other hand? Removing the mandible and all that? That sounds like a Bone Magic solution to a flesh magic problem. And I wonder if the fact that the Ninth House’s emblem is the Jawless skull, insinuates that the Ninth is not so much a house where many secrets are kept – though this is undoubtedly true, as the Ninth is known as the House of secrets by the other houses – as much that in the Ninth, all secrets are revealed. Where the sewn tongue is healed, and the truth comes to light. And I’d like to point out that it sounds a bit like foreshadowing, and a promise. Anastasia has been betrayed by John and sworn to secrecy, and then locked in the Tomb to die and take his secrets with her. I feel like the jawless skull acts as a constant reminder, that even with the sewn tongue, all curses can be broken, and all secrets will eventually come to light. And it feels like a promise to John, that her House, the house of secrets and unspoken truths, will be the one to rid of the sewn tongue and bring the truth he so fears forward. And this aligns a tad too well with the Sixth’s mantra, Six for the truth, over solace in lies.

And you know what else fits here, in this concordance of the Sixth and Ninth Houses? Cassiopeia and Anastasia’s friendship. Their alliance if you will. We know they both worked closely together trying to figure out the perfect Lyctorhood process, and it is possible that Anastasia made her attempt a bit before Cassiopeia. The exact same attempt, that performed in perfect conditions ended in failure, with John ultimately killing Samael.

 We also know that Cassiopeia left contingency plans in place, should the emperor become a hindrance to the empire. And from what we have seen of Cassiopeia in the books, it is safe to assume that she is driven, determined, exceedingly intelligent, perceptive, logical, and excellent at planning. She is also the one to point out John’s less than favorable qualities pre-Resurrection such as his interest in taking vengeance on those that wronged him being bigger in his interest to save lives.

So, we have, Cassiopeia and her logic driven, truth seeking brilliance, and Anastasia, the thorough, overly methodical researcher. We have them both working on perfect Lyctorhood, and we have them both, in one way or another, being betrayed by John. Chances are, that they were the first post Resurrection to notice John’s flaws, the first to concoct a plan against him. But contrary to Cytherea, Mercy and Augustine, they are more subtle than those cannonball attempts. No, I believe they planned. And they planned long term, and together. Cassiopeia left her House a note, left them instructions, she was preparing them for when John would become a liability. And then an aforementioned amount of time later, Anastasia is asked to design the tomb.

We do not really know anything about Alecto’s relationships with the other lyctors apart from the fact that most found her revolting, a “monster” in Mercy’s words. So here is a thought, perhaps Anastasia, the one of the original Eight to never ascend, perhaps the one whose failure Alecto was involved in – “I am sorry about Samael” – finds kinship in John’s unnerving pet, his undead “cavalier”, the one he betrayed first, the soul of earth. Perhaps they even became friends. Perhaps she and Cassiopeia realize the extend of what John has done and realize that Alecto is the key to undoing it. When John refuses to kill Alecto to appease the others, the plan fully forms.

So, they construct the tomb. And Cassiopeia is well-known for building mechanisms within houses, so maybe her and Anastasia create secret passages, and mechanisms with extra access to the tomb that would be independent of John sneaking in, or whatever he planned to do with that blood-ward.  And hear me out, we know that Cassiopeia stayed 7 minutes in the river before being torn apart by the resurrection beast – at Mercymorn’s account at least, not sure how reliable of a narrator she is. But what happened during those seven minutes? Paul says he thinks he knows how to get to the Locked Tomb via the River. So, the river and the Tomb are connected. What did Cassiopeia do, I wonder? (Here I’d like to say that my other theory is that she did eventually die, or rather was consumed by Varun the eater, much like Judith Deuteros was. The RB burned through her in what, a couple months? How long would a Lyctor last? Perhaps that was the reason that Varun didn’t resurface until 100 years after Cassiopeia’s presumed death. She could have been alive and slowly wasting away, while still making failsafe within failsafe until she lost her sense of self and eventually wasted away)

To recap until now, the first part of my theory is that Anastasia and Cassiopeia dissatisfied with the world John had made and the truth he had served them, probably worked together to find the truth. And they worked together from the shadows, to create a plan, a long-term plan, with which they could bring John down if the need ever arose, and undo what he had done. And Anastasia’s bloodline and their secrets are really bloody important to that plan. (Also, some nice symbolism about the Ninth being about secrets revealed, rather than secrets kept, and that functioning as a bit of foreshadowing.)

Now into the second part of my theory. Anastasia’s bloodline is so important because she has bound her bloodline to Alecto. And I think this happened in the premise of the Vow Alecto has made to her, or they have made to each other. This might be part of the initial vow, of which we know nothing about, apart from the fact that Alecto pledged herself to Anastasia, and that it is important enough that she pledges herself to Harrow, or a failsafe within it. A failsafe to ensure that should Alecto wake after Anastasia has passed, she will not be fooled by any imposters, or anything else John might have planned. Or perhaps, a failsafe to ensure that even if John changes his mind and finds a way to rid of the body within the tomb, to “kill” Alecto, she will not be completely gone, she will keep existing within Anastasia’s line, thus ensuring that the plan for John’s demise can still be enacted and that the soul of the earth will not be dead.

That plays really hard in the Alecto is within Harrow from the beginning theory. And I will explain. I believe I saw something that looked like this in Twitter by lesbian_mothman, but I do not really remember so I apologize if all this has been said before.

In all the dream chapters with John, we relive memories from just before and after the resurrection, and John talks to Harrow as if she is Alecto “You always say that Harrowhark” as a response to “I still love you.” Or when Varun recognizes the Earth’s soul “green thing” within Nona in the car chase scene, or when Judith regaining consciousness asks “Harrowhark?” and Nona replies, “No, and I never was.” So that begs the question of how much of Harrow is Harrow, how much is Alecto and how much are the 200 souls within her? (And there was a crowd of dead children there. They were striving loudly against living children on the far-off shore of the tomb. CHILLS)

In Nona we learn that Palamedes and Camila on the one hand and Pyrrha on the other have two different theories about who Nona is. The Sixth believe that she is an amalgam of Gideon and Harrow, and Pyrrha believes she is Alecto, golden eyes and all. And I am more inclined to believe that it is indeed Alecto, or at least a part of her, that resides within Harrow, and took the wheel when both Harrow and Gideon were gone. Think abt it. Gideon is back in her body, and we have no idea what the hell happened to Harrow, only that she doesn’t have the wheel, and Nona acts nothing like Harrow or Gideon did. It’s like she is learning how to be human for the first time. She learns how to love and be loved for the first time. So with no soul to govern the body, the part of Alecto within Harrow takes the wheel.  

And then there is the candle metaphor in NtN. Alecto’s soul is the candle passed from one necromantic heir of the Ninth to the other.

So long story short, part of the vow, if not all of it, is that part of Alecto will always live within Anastasia’s descendants, so long as they are necromancers. And here comes the part of Alecto’s dreams. Because if indeed she lives within the souls of Anastasia’s necromantic descendants, does she see through their eyes? Does she feel through their hearts? Does she dream of their lives, while locked in the Tomb, while a part of her lives in them? Is she conscious within them? Or does the whole thing act like a cavalier- lyctor sort of connection, where she cannot take the wheel unless the other soul in the body Is gone?

 Part of her soul is bound to Anastasia’s line, and they are bound to her, and over the course of 10.000 years do they spill over? Alecto to Anastasia’s descendants and they to Alecto.  Was this part of the plan to have a failsafe within Anastasia’s line in case something happened to the body in the Tomb? Was it a promise Anastasia made to Alecto, to give her a chance to live, to be human, through the lives of her own descendants?

All in all, I guess I could some it up in a few concise points.

Cassiopeia and Anastasia worked closely together, they were friends and allies and saw in John, the unfulfilled promises he made, and all the faults he tried to cover with rewriting his own version of history.

They decide to make a plan, a long term one, a detailed one, for when John is more a liability than it is worth. And thus, Cassiopeia creates the mechanisms in the Sixth and leaves the protocols for the rest to find. Truth over solace in lies.

Meanwhile Anastasia attempts to ascend, and John kills Samael. Alecto might be consciously or unconsciously involved and harbors guilt over Samael’s death.

Anastasia probably befriends Alecto or finds kinship with this strange being that is the soul of a planet that no longer is.

The planning continues and John after being asked to kill Alecto decides to lock her in the Tomb instead and has Anastasia design it. He later asks her to stay in the tomb and guard Alecto. (Antigone style)

Anastasia designs the tomb, probably with Cassiopeia’s help, probably with a few hidden mechanisms of its own and or a secret pathway through the river, an extra way out.

At some point, Anastasia sires a line, and she makes her vow with Alecto.

The vow probably is in regards of bounding Alecto to Anastasia’s line so long as there are necromantic heirs. A part of Alecto is constantly alive within each descendant of Anastasia’s.

It might work a bit like the lyctoral process, because Alecto only takes the wheel when there is no Harrow and no Gideon in Nona’s body, aka when there doesn’t seem to be another soul guiding it.

Alecto dreams. Whether she dreams of herself within the tomb and that’s how she recognizes Harrow on sight – from the memory of Harrow first unlocking the Tomb – or her dreams are glimpses of the lives Anastasia’s descendants lead I don’t know.

Alecto is thus bound to Anastasia’s line by blood. She recognizes Harrow by her blood, tasting either Anastasia, or the part of herself residing within it, when she kisses her. It also ensures that the line is intact the vow is intact and it’s not a pretender trying to fool her.

Anastasia and Cassiopeia planned to bring John down by opening the tomb when the time was right and leaving her to Alecto’s (and the RB’S???) mercy. There is still a lot left to be explored.

The tomb is to remain closed until the time has come God has to die. We can all see how that can be misinterpreted to > if the tomb opens God will die. And instead of a promise to be fulfilled it becomes a terrible terrible thing, that will spell everyone’s doom.

The freaking skull of the ninth is a threat, a foreshadow and a promise. The Ninth was a house that should have died with Anastasia in the tomb. But it didn’t. It continued existing its bloodline unbroken for 10.000 years. Nine for the tomb and all that was lost. The Ninth is predominantly I feel a house of mourning – the whole nuns, all black, and skull makeup thing. But it is also a house of secrets. It is a house represented by the cure to even the tightest secret held. So the Ninth, the house that should never have been the house that should have died with its secrets in the tomb of its inception, is the one that will break the sewn tongue, and reveal all the secrets, bringing the truth to light.

[splitster]

answering asks

you'll have to befriend her first sorry

chocolate was the first sweet that Pom had so it's her favorite!! she won't go nuts or anything but she is very easily manipulated if you promise her a bar of chocolate

↓ more asks under the cut!! ↓

wraithification ideally does preserve peoples memories! part of the process is forming the core that holds said memories, so as long as the process goes somewhat smoothly then the person should wake up very disorientated but with their memories and personality in tact.

naw she's thankfully immune to most elemental hazards. one of the perks of being a wraith!

YEAHH i've been trying to keep up with the comics! this comic is a bit old at this point but i'm so glad bald dingo is canon 💖

i think it'd be funny so yeah sure

there is always an inherent risk to the process. i'd say the absolute ideal circumstances you could have would be if a wraith like pom and a doctor like yonny were working together to increase the likelihood of survival. the process hasn't been studied at all, given the rarity of wraiths as an organism and the added rarity of a wraith becoming so attached to a creature that it wants to convert it.

there is a metaphysical aspect to wraiths as a species that defies understanding, so the person being wraithified or the wraith themselves having a strong will for survival would definitely contribute to the success of it. thankfully, unless there's a VERY specific set of circumstances (that are relevant only with someone like yonny wraith who has two cores), the subject would fall unconscious and not form memories of the wraithification itself (which is fortunate, because that would be kinda horrifying).

if she's saving dingo and this is a last ditch effort, pom absolutely puts her whole being into it. it's very, very hard on her and she has every last bit of energy sapped from her. depending on her reserves, she could end up hurting herself with the amount of energy it requires. but wounds are temporary and death is forever, so pom would persevere through and give it her all to save him

yeah! pom's skin might technically be fake because it's made from goo, but she still feels sensations through her goo. she probably doesn't get itchy that easily. she's probably a little ticklish? but i'm not sure if you want to try that on a wraith that could easily stab you in a heartbeat...

wow when i was looking back for this pic i realized i first posted about the pom wraith au on september 1st, so the au is like 4 months old... time flies

WAHHH THANK YOU....🥺💖 asks like this are never a bother!! my favorite part about posting my content online is the engagement like this, i'm very happy to make stuff that you and your bro can bond over

procreate on an ipad! i use an empty cheezits box and three splatoon manga books to prop up my ipad to draw on, and i've been told its one of the worst drawing arrangements ever documented, so no matter how you draw it's probably gonna be better than my set up

of course! i didn't like... invent wraiths or anything. i just expanded on the little tidbits of what we know about wraiths in the pikmin universe. anyone is free to make their own wraith ocs or their own headcanons on what wraiths are

whuh... have i? i post pretty frequently. i used to post a bunch for a week or two and then disappear for 6+ months repeatedly so this is very good compared to my historical track record lol

AHH thank you!! i'm glad that i can inspire!

thank yall for all the asks, i'll continue getting through them... slowly

[deadbeat-motel]

For my rewrite, I wanted to tie each sinner who's staying at the motel to a specific deadly sin to make it easier to understand what got them in hell and just for the fun of it.

It doesn't apply to the rest of hell to have a specific sin, but I thought it was interesting that the inhabitants of the motel will represent a sin.

Some of these characters are still rough ideas and will be subjected to some changes once i finalize the actual lores for these characters:

First up, Angel Dust is easy to confuse as Lust because most people might assume that since he's a sex worker, its probably what got him in hell right? Though, his sin had nothing to do with being lustful since he didnt become a sex worker until then (plus being a sex worker doesnt warrant someone a tacket straight to hell). Instead what really did him in was Gluttony since it was his appetite for vices that got him into trouble and also inadvertently lead to his death and it was that appettite that lead him to take any and all clients to feed his appetite for angeldust.

Nifty's sin is Lust, though not in the traditional sexual sense that we know. For her sin's sake, Lust is all about an uncontrollable desire that leads one to do horrible acts in order to attain what they've been obsessing over. In the rewrite, I was going to let her be a lot younger (most likely an adolescent-young teen) with a very skewed sense of what romance/love is like and have her lean in more towards a yandere-type character or a crappy creepypasta kid character (think Nina the killer levels of crappypasta). I'm torn between the two ideas at the moment.

[Also fun fact, hearing that nifty was a japanese woman from the 1950's kind of took me off because googling it, she wouldve been a woman who grew up in the middle of world war 2 and lived through a bit of the Post war boom if we assumed she's also american as well. Having someone with a background like that who acts like she's mentally a child makes it feel like Viv did no research at all.]

Husk's sin remains as Greed, as gambling just seems so hard to quit for him, even when his life is on the line, especially when he's cheating death so many times. Maybe it was after he had his first close encounter with death in his youth... or the few couple of times during the war... that he began to think of himself as too lucky to die. Unfortunately for him, he'd have to learn the hard way that whatever force that was trying to save him can't do anything about his own body failing from years of self-destructive alcoholism.

[Husk will literally kill me with all the research I'll have to do from 1910-1970 to get his story straight.]

Alastor is one Prideful mf. As an intelligent serial killer (possibly cannibal), he was able to evade the police whilst keeping the high-profile radio host job he killed others for. He enjoyed leaving clues and slipping little hints around his scene that stumped the entire police department. In the end, getting sloppy because of his own overconfidence in his abilities was what did him in and he was chased down and shot by a hunter in his escape.

Sir Pentious is Envious of the Victorian family and those above the middle class. He believed that he deserved to have the same kind of privileges they have especially since he was a brilliant inventor who believed he could forward Great Britain to a greater future. So he gave up 15 years trying to take over the monarchy by himself and failing miserably. He died due to an invention gone wrong and that was the day Great Britain was rid of its persistent annoyance.

[Some people may read about him in history books and confuse him for an anti-monarchist when this man's entire goal was to replace the monarchy with himself.]

Cherri Bomb grew up as a resentful youth of the Japanese 70's being a sukeban of a delinquent girl gang. Their Wrath was known all across the other local schools in their area and they were known for their sheer brutality. However, Cherri Bomb in particular was also feared by other members of the gang as she was ruthless punishing those who wanted to leave the group. She doesn't ever disclose how she died to others and thus no one is ever really sure how she ended up down here but no one really feels the need to ask.

[I'm extremely unfamiliar with Australian history so Cherri Bomb will have to have grown up in Japanese 70-80's delinquent culture.]

.

There's one sin left.... but since I don't really have anyone in the HH cannon that could realistically fit Sloth, I'm left with two options: Characterizing the blank slate that is Crymini myself or leaving the last resident as a community effort "Build-a-Sinner."

So first poll ive done but....

[polaroid-petals]

My chart for post-ending headcanons and the scenario for what might end up happening with Basil, Aubrey, Kel, and Sunny!

Some notes:

Follows the good ending's timeline

Four years after the game; everyone here is 20 years old

Although Sunny and Basil reconcile, Basil ends up being subjected to a court case for aggravated assault. As such, he barely sees the others after he wakes up and faces most of it alone with Sunny and Kel.

The alleviating circumstance of his psychosis leads to no real conviction, but under the condition of getting assessed and treated at a closed ward. His medication doesn't agree with him, and by the time his friends are allowed to visit, he's lost all hope and life. Basil doesn't believe he'll ever be forgiven by the others, so what's the point?

During Basil's absence, Kel and Sunny grow closer and end up going to college together while Aubrey grows more distant from the group again despite wanting to hold onto her friends more than ever. She has a rocky road concerning how she feels about Sunny and Basil's actions and deception, but ends up coming around.

After Basil's premature release into a world he's not even half prepared for, he doesn't tell anyone that he's being made to leave. Aubrey awaits him by her truck and suggests booking it, seeing as they both have pretty bleak lives. They're on the road for a year until an incident with a broken car in the middle of nowhere during a winter storm and Basil catching pneumonia forces Aubrey to reach out to the rest for help. They survive by the skin of their teeth, but the incident does reunite the group.

Really, Kel ending up between Aubrey and Basil was by any means unintended, but they ended up finding comfort together after Sunny wasn't opposed to an open relationship. There's just too much love among them to keep it constrained to a single relationship.

Sunny is the only one who's attached to a single partner, hence why his relations with Aubrey and Basil have a platonic component. He deeply loves them, but at the same time struggles with understanding his romantic feelings and as such is mostly involved with Kel.

Everyone loves Basil

Hero's not here because this chart was drawn to show only The Polycule™ and its workings 💔 He's still in the picture and has his own relations with the main four, maybe I'll make that chart next?

I want to write a fic about this timeline, though it's probably gonna be rather heavy as it's going to be from Basil's POV during his time wilting away in the mental hospital.

[adaptacy]

Johnny Slaughter Pregnancy H/Cs Pt.1

Cw: Mentions of trauma, angst, but also fluff and him being pretty cute for an (ex)cannibal, older Johnny, post-Sawyers

Important Notes:

He'd left the Sawyers a long time ago. Almost three years now. Things had gotten shady- shadier than ever. Police got involved. He had to split. And he'd moved to Georgia of all places. Close enough that he was still in familiar climates, far enough that he was removed from the interference.

He didn't know what happened to the rest of 'em. Probably for the best. He'd gotten a job as a butcher, of course. It was what he was good at- carving, skinning, etc. And it paid the bills. And introduced him to you.

About a year after he'd moved, the two of you met in the shop. Johnny had been assigned to cover the register for the day since the usual coworker was gone, and you'd happened to show up that day as it was the shop you frequented when you went on grocery trips.

The interaction went as you'd expect. You asked for what you needed, and he gave it to you. You also asked if he was new, and what happened to George, the usual man behind the counter. Johnny explained that he was out sick, so he was covering for him. You found his accent amusing, since it was different than what you were used to. You asked where he was from. He said Georgia. You didn't believe him.

And you left with a kind goodbye. Didn't see him again for another two months. Didn't really think about him. Until you found him in a bar, and recognized him. The two of you chatted, and he ended up asking you on a date. Things only went uphill from there. You got along really well with him.

Well enough that, now, a little over two years later, the two of you lived together, and you were almost 6 months pregnant with his child. You didn't know a lot about his past. You knew he'd been born in Texas and didn't really know his parents. He said he'd been in a foster house, but wasn't ever adopted. He never said anything more. It seemed to be a sensitive subject for him, so you didn't really bother prying.

Overall, he was really sweet. Intimidating as hell, and had a sinister smirk, but you'd never seen him be aggressive or violent in any way. He was like a really cuddly teddy bear. A great example as to why you shouldn't judge a book by its muscular cover.

While the two of you weren't engaged, he definitely was planning on proposing. But he didn't want to stress you out- he wanted to wait until after the baby was born. He was actually quite looking forward to having a kid, but he was also very anxious about it.

Pregnancy Head-canons (SFW):

He was unsure at first. When you told him, he had no idea how to react. He put on a smile, but you could see through it. However, you didn't want to upset him, and decided it was best to give him time to process it before you overwhelmed him.

Truth was, he was scared of having a kid. He was scared for you- His own biological mom had been killed, and while he knew that it was a freak situation, he couldn't not worry about the same happening to you. In some twisted way, he worried that somehow his past would come back to bite him in the ass. And that you'd get involved.

He had occasional thoughts of running before you were pregnant. He felt that, even if something terrible happened, if he somehow was found by the cops, he could just leave you. That he could run, and protect you. But now that you were pregnant with his baby, there was no more running. And that scared him. He never would've wanted to leave you, but it was comforting to know that it was an option. It didn't feel like an option anymore.

He also wasn't sure he could be a good father. His 'family' was batshit crazy, and they'd raised him the same. What if he passed on bad traits to your kid? What if he was an awful dad and turned his kid into a psycho like him?

He'd been doing better, of course- Johnny stopped killing people, he had to. At first, he'd told himself that he'd just lay low and go back to it once the cops were less a problem, but after the first couple months, he got used to it. Got used to normal meat, to normal diets, and he found he had a lot more free time when he wasn't chasing victims around all the time.

Even so, he still worried that he'd somehow manage to make a psychotic cannibal even when he was far from it. Or that his kid would have his anger issues, or his anxiety, or somehow have his trauma- he didn't want to put that weight on anyone else. And he didn't want you to have to see that.

But eventually, Johnny warmed up to the idea. especially when you started showing a tiny baby bump. He loved how certain shirts wouldn't quite come all the way down your stomach anymore, and even if you complained about it, it gave him some... really sweet, sickeningly domestic feeling. A feeling he'd never even dreamed of.

Despite everything, he was a family man. His family was the only thing he knew growing up. And while his was a mess, and left him worse for wear in the end, he still suffered from a constantly feeling of loneliness. He was so used to constantly being surrounded by, irritated, and cared about by family, and when he was living on his own, he lacked that completely. Moving in with you certainly helped, and now that there was going to be a third in the house, it actually reassured him a bit. He'd still be able to build family bonds, and with biological family this time. Plus, you weren't a psycho, so that definitely helped.

Because of this, he grew very attached to the baby once he got over his initial worries. He'd still have the occasional intrusive thoughts, but they were rare and he was able to push them out of his mind. He wanted a family with you, and he was going to have one.

But, Jesus fucking Christ, you were so goddamn careless. You acted the exact same, did the exact same activities, you lived life precisely how you did before you were pregnant, and Johnny was surprisingly overprotective of you and the baby. He refused to let you go to the bar or have even the slightest drop of anything alcoholic, and you'd expressed your frustrations that he was still allowed to drink but you weren't.

So? He stopped drinking. And then you came out one day to share a cig with him, and he'd practically carried you back inside because he didn't want you anywhere around cigarette smoke. You didn't really believe that cigarettes and drinking could have that bad of an effect, and you didn't do them all that often anyways. But Johnny refused to take any risks. He wanted to give your kid everything that Johnny didn't receive growing up, and that started with making sure you were as healthy as possible.

It wasn't long before he gave up smoking, too. It was tough, for both of you- really tough, actually, but you managed to make it through. If he could give up slaughtering and being a cannibal, he could give up cigs, and he knew you could too.

When the morning sickness started, he swore that you were dying. You had to reassure him constantly that it was fine, but only when your doctor also reassured him of this did he finally let it go. Still, he made sure to get whatever anti-nausea remedies possible, since you 'needed to keep the food inside of you' for the baby.

Oh, that too. He made meals. on meals. on meals. on meals. He was still a butcher, so he got first pick of the meats, and he loved bragging that he cut it himself. It was actually really cute to see someone so muscular and manly in the kitchen seasoning chicken and making salads. He was a really good cook. Wonder where he learned that...

Pregnancy cravings he would do his best to fuel, and while you joked about how he should try them with you, he refused. Listen- he could stomach a lot, but pickles in ice cream? Absolutely the fuck not. He could hardly watch you eat it, and he was a fucking cannibal for most of his life. But, he still provided them nonetheless.

Listen, the baby bump was one thing, but when you really started showing and started complaining about the baby kicking, he was at a loss for words. He didn't even know that was something that the baby could do at this stage. Well, to be fair, he didn't really know anything about pregnancy since he was the youngest in his family, but he could've assumed most of it. Other than the baby kicking. He'd ask over and over again if you were sure it wasn't just a stomach ache, or if you'd eaten something wrong.

In order to reassure him, you'd grab his wrists and put his palms against your belly. "What are you doin'?" "Just wait..." "Sweetpea, I'm serious, maybe we should go to the doct-" A pause. He looked between you and your belly. "Feel it?" "That... that was it?" "Mhm. That's our baby."

Rest assured, the first thing he did any time you mentioned the kicks in the future was reach to feel it himself. There was something about feeling the kicks that just... made him happy. Pleased him. Maybe it was knowing that your kid was healthy, or the fact that feeling it meant it was really happening- it just made the entire thing feel more real to him.

Around the 7 and a half month mark, he refused to let you do anything by yourself.

Getting food? "Nah, darlin' I can get it. Just stay here, I'll be right back."

Dropped something? "Don't- Don't go bendin' over, yer gonna fall, or hurt yerself. Where'd ya drop it? I'll get it."

Showering? "Hold onto my arm- I gotcha, sweetpea. How bout I run a bath fer ya? Make ya more comfortable."

Changing clothes? Well, he kind of already was there for that since he liked seeing you naked, especially with a baby bump, but you get the point. No matter what you were doing, he was there, doing his best to help you, even if it was pretty unnecessary sometimes.

Part 2 coming soon! Tumblr just has a word limit. Domestic fluff Johnny makes me so happy <333

[swordfright]

What do you think is your most controversial dsmp take?

I got this ask a while ago and I've been wracking my brains trying to come up with something, but honestly...I don't think I really have many hot takes? At least, not ones that I'd consider controversial. Most of my controversial takes are about fanon/how the fandom interacts with the source material, which I assume isn't what you're looking for (but BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOSE.) I also have likes and dislikes when it comes to duos and shipping stuff, but that's subjective obviously and more opinion than lore interpretation.

I guess if you put a gun to my head, I might say these are my most controversial Actual Lore Takes, but they're not all that interesting imo:

The experiments in the revival lab happened AFTER c!Dream's incarceration, not before it. My understanding is that most people interpret that sequence as occurring prior to the incarceration because...why would c!Dream let himself be locked up, relying on his knowledge of the book to be his life insurance, if he hadn't tested the damn thing out yet?! This logic tracks, but I think you could also flip it to argue the opposite: that he also could have conceivably waited to fully test the book until after escaping. During the run-up to the Disc Finale, c!Dream was incredibly busy with the fallout from Dethronement + Exile + Manburg related stuff etc, as well as busy preparing for the confrontation with c!Clingys, plus arranging the staged finale with Punz. The guy was busy as hell and he was also like...still kinda in the midst of a manic episode. Also, keep in mind that while the book was his life insurance for the finale and its immediate aftermath, he had no idea that c!Sam was going to betray him. Considering all that, I don't think it's inconceivable that c!Dream may not have had time to thoroughly test the limits of the revive book beforehand, and he likely didn't realize quite how vital his knowledge of revival would become during his incarceration period. So yeah. I'm open to either interpretation, but I am partial to the possibility that the Vikk and Lazar necromancy montage happened after the prison era. And the exact date/location of the lab are never specified either, which makes me even more open to the post-prison necromancy option. Not a hill I'd be willing to die on, but a hill I like to sit on and admire the view from.

End of Las Nevadas is the weakest stream of the Las Nevadas series. I found it narratively unsatisfying, and not in a clever way. I don't hate that stream, I think it had some really interesting moments, but overall I'd say its messaging was convoluted and the tension was pretty poorly mismanaged. I'd be willing to go on about this if you want, but I think a lot of other folks have probably already articulated it better than I can. Oh, I'll add that I also have complicated thoughts about c!Slime as a character. Don't hate him, don't love him...but I am puzzled about the role he was presumably meant to play in the story vs. the role he actually ends up playing. I could go on about this in detail but it's late and I'm sleepy.

c!Quackity has very simple goals and motives, but his pursuit of those goals is oftentimes way more convoluted than necessary, which ends up making him read as a more complex and dynamic character than he really is (I like this btw!) Another way to put it would be that Q is not a terribly complex character in terms of motivations and ambitions (dr3 has rly good meta on this btw), but he does tend to needlessly complicate his own life and the lives of the people around him in pursuit of simple goals. I think one of his big failings is that he sees violence as an easy solution to his problems but in reality it just creates more problems for him. It's like he keeps failing some sort of foresight check, over and over again. Take the formation of Las Nevadas, for instance. Most of the country's members were intimidated/threatened into joining, not because they're people Q particularly wants to hang around with, but because they're people Q sees as either strong (i.e. they are capable of contributing to LN) or directionless (i.e. they're in need of an owner a leader.) Quackity doesn't really forge alliances, he just...buys people, basically? And then he's shocked when this backfires. His relationship with Purpled is the most obvious example of this, but also LN as a whole: in LN5 (?), Quackity's angry and offended and hurt that only a tiny handful of people show up to the opening ceremony, even though by all accounts the reason the turn-out isn't bigger is because the server has by this point become a chaotic and violent place where anything can happen to anyone for any reason and most inhabitants feel safer sticking to their own turf...and that atmosphere of chaos and violence is something Q has ostensibly contributed to, even before Pandora. c!Quackity creates a country that no one is truly loyal to, inhabited by people who are closer to employees than allies...and then his solution, when he realizes nobody really gives a shit, isn't to try recruiting people in a more equitable way, it's to bioengineer a slime army. That is insane. That is an insane way to solve your problems. In no way is bioengineering a slime army a normal or well-adjusted solution to any conceivable problem. This is what I mean when I say he's a relatively uncomplicated character who complicates everything - he's constantly jumping through hoops of fire to avoid changing his behavior and taking any kind of accountability whatsoever.

I have tons more takes but they're mostly about silly subjective stuff and/or fanon, so I'll leave that for another day if anyone's interested.

[hjparisian]

make a wish- harry j potter x reader

p: harry j potter x reader (she/her pronouns) w: kinda deep, mainly fluffy, not proof read summary: it's (y/n)'s birthday but it doesn't feel like it. she doesn't want to celebrate it as it is a reminder that she's growing up and is getting older. boyfriend harry (and the rest of her friends) are determined to remind her it's still a special day. a/n: its my birthday today and this is based on my own feelings of getting older. sorry for not actively posting as much, i haven't had much motivation but will hopefully get back soon as i have so much planned out including a harry x reader book for a different platform

It was a special day, and no, not Christmas. It was (Y/N)'s birthday. But to (Y/N), it just felt like any other day. As the years keep going by, her birthday just felt less special. With the end of the school year slowly coming, (Y/N) realized that her youth is slipping away, nearing the stages of adulthood but not feeling prepared.

(Y/N) walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, fellow students wishing her a happy birthday as she walked towards the Gryffindor table where she'd eat with the rest of her friends. She began piling some fruit onto her plate when she saw Hermione and Ron sit down in front of her.

"Happy birthday (Y/N)" the two said to her. "I can't believe you're getting older," Ron points out

"Thank you," she said with a sour smile. "Where's Harry?" She asks wanting to divert from the reminder that she's another year older as well as wondering where her boyfriend is.

"He's still getting ready, he overslept a bit," Hermione told the girl.

Right after she said that, the subject in question rushed over to the group, taking a seat next to the birthday girl.

"Sorry I'm a bit late," Harry told his friends as he piles food on his plate. He looks over to his lovely girlfriend and kisses her cheek. "Happy birthday love!"

"Thank you Harry," (Y/N) says.

"How does it feel to be another year older?" asks Harry. "Are you planning on doing something big today? Fred and George could probably get food over to the common room and we can have a big party for you?"

As interesting as it sounds to (Y/N), she really had no plans. The day no longer felt special now that she's getting closer to adulthood. What was the point of celebrating something that no longer makes her excited?

Losing her appetite from these thoughts, she decided to leave, wanting some alone time. "I think don't wanna do anything. I should go now, I need to grab something from my dorm." She quickly left the hall, leaving her half filled plate behind.

Ron looks at her fading figure, slightly confused. "That's kind of odd," he points out. "Is she okay?"

"I hope so," Hermione says. "But she usually isn't like this. She was so excited last year. I'm worried."

Harry was worried too. He always wanted to ensure the happiness of his lover. He had to find out what was clouding (Y/N)'s mind and try to cheer her up.

"What if we throw her a surprise party?" Ron says. "Everyone likes surprises."

"Not everyone enjoys surprises, Ronald," Hermione huffs out. "It isn't a bad idea though. And like Harry said, we can use the twins help. We can invite her friends to the Gryffindor common room. What do you think Harry?"

"It's not a bad idea. But I want to check on her to see if she's alright," He says.

"Well you're going to have to wait until later. Class is going to start soon," Hermione said.

Unfortunately Harry had to wait til after classes to have a proper chat with (Y/N) since all the classes they had together decided to be busy so there was no time for them to chat. Didn't help that in half of them they don't even sit by each other.

The moment classes ended, Harry went to find (Y/N), dragging her to his dorm.

"Harry where are we going?"

"My dorm."

Harry opens the door to his shared room, closing it behind (Y/N). He drops his stuff beside his bed and goes over to his girlfriend and gives her the biggest hug, which she returns.

"Are you okay love? You don't seem excited today." He hears her sigh, cracking open her true emotions. He brings her to his bed to lay down, wrapping his arms around her as she lays her head on his shoulder.

(Y/N) began to speak."I don't know, its just, its kinda of dumb."

"Whatever you're feeling is not dumb (Y/N)," Harry tells her.

(Y/N) could feel the tears trying to build up in her eyes. "Well my birthday just doesn't feel special anymore, it just feels like another day. I feel like it's just a reminder that I'm almost an adult now and I have to start figuring my life out. Graduation is coming closer and closer and after that, we're all going to go chase our dreams and who knows if we will be in contact. I just wish we were still first years exploring Hogwarts for the first time. I miss being a little kid and having no worries. I'm not ready to get older Harry."

Harry shifts his body to face her, and giving her a kiss on her lips before responding.

"(Y/N), it's okay to feel like this. What you're feeling is completely valid. Growing up is scary, but it means new experiences to try. We still have a lot of time. You don't need to grow up yet and you don't have to have your life situated right now. Sirius told me to live in the present. If we spent too much time worrying about the future we will forget to live in the moment." Harry pauses for a second. "I promise you that we will all still be in contact together. Hermione and Ron could never forget you. I could never forget you. If anything, Ron and I already planned to get houses right next to each other so we will always be together."

Harry leans over and opens his bedside table, pulling out a small box and hands it to (Y/N).

"This is one of your gifts. Open it," Harry tells her.

(Y/N) removes the wrapping and opens up the small box. Inside it was a ring. It was simple, but it was beautiful. She puts it on her ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

"It's a promise ring," said Harry. "To prove that I will always be right by your side. That I promise to love and take care of you even after Hogwarts. I see a future with us (Y/N), and I don't plan on letting go of you."

The tears in (Y/N)'s eyes filled up again, but for a happier reason. She wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and pulled him into a big kiss.

"I love you so much Harry," She tells him. "You're the most amazing person ever."

Harry smiles at her. "I love you too (Y/N). Don't make your self grow up yet. You're perfect just how you are."

(Y/N) smiles back at Harry. The one man who validated her feelings, telling her it's okay to feel what she feels, who comforted her. Birthdays don't have to be a reminder that she's getting old, rather, it should be a day to celebrate life. She doesn't have to force herself to be an adult yet. Will these thoughts continue to plague her head from time to time? Yes, but it will all be okay. She just has to remind herself to live in the moment and enjoy life.

"So," (Y/N) began. "You said this was one of my presents. What about the other?"

"Oh we'll come back right here for it." Harry winks at (Y/N) causing her to blush. "But first, there's something else waiting for you." Harry takes (Y/N)'s hand and brings her out the dorm.

"Gonna need you to close your eyes," Harry tells her.

"Why?"

"Just do it. Please? I promise I won't let you trip and fall."

(Y/N) closed her eyes. Harry held her hand as he guided her down the stairs to the common room.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now love."

As (Y/N) opened her eyes, she sees a bunch of people jumping out from behind furniture.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)!"

The common room was decorated in streamers and confetti. A sign hanged in the middle of one of the walls saying "Happy Birthday (Y/N)!" All of her friends from every house was here, to celebrate her.

Hermione and Ron came up to her and gave her a hug. Fred and George were right behind them with a big cake with candles.

"Make a wish!" The twins said.

(Y/N) thought for a moment. I wish to just enjoy my life with the people I love the most.

She blows out her candles, everyone cheering.

"What did you wish for?!" Someone in the crowd asks.

(Y/N) chuckles before letting her answer slip. "This!"

Fred and George helped pass pieces of the cake around. Harry went closer to (Y/N), placing his arm around her waist and gave her a kiss.

"Happy birthday (Y/N)."

[positivelyruined]

Okay, so first off — I barely even understand what happened. I woke up to chaos. Normally, this is not something I would ever post about, but apparently, my name got dragged into the ACOTAR fandom drama last night for being someone who does not support SA victims.

How? Apparently, an anti-Rhysand post which I liked is considered offensive by several people.

I cannot say this strongly enough. You cannot know someone by looking at their likes with absolutely no context.

Like plenty of other people, I primarily use my likes to save posts to look at in the future.

The post in question was strongly worded and I understand how it could be triggering to victims of SA. As one myself, I have openly spoken about the use of proper tagging when it comes to incredibly triggering subjects such as SA and DV.

Can I just say that if those are two things which trigger you to the end the degree, the ACOTAR fandom is probably not the safest and healthiest place to spend a lot of time. These books do not deal with these topics in healthy, respectful, and educated ways. They are often glorified, ignored for their horror, and pushed into the story without enough research or due diligence.

I allow myself to be in a very tiny part of this fandom because I am still healing from my own personal experiences under my mountain.

To anti-writers, I don’t hate you. I don’t blame you. I am often proud of those who call SJM on the carpet for not handling serious topics with care and concern. In a gentle reminder, consider posting a warning at the top of your post, using tags, and trying to keep a logical and straight tone — despite how easy it is for these things to ignite anger. To those who do those things, you are the real MVPs. Thank you.

To fellow victims, I know your abuser will never apologize, so please let me. I am so sorry that someone else chose to use their actions to personally harm you in a way that can irrevocably change a person. I am sorry you were ever put in that position. I am sorry the world does not listen to you when you are screaming at the top of your lungs. You are valid. Your struggle is real. I understand.

The fictional characters you relate to during your time of healing do not have to be ones who others hold up as pillars of morality. You are allowed to heal however you need to and it’s okay if people don’t like how it looks.

My final point is this. It is very easy to judge a book by its cover, a user by its likes, or a person by the characters they like; but, when it comes down to it every single person in this world is carrying their own unique struggle and story.

It is okay to disagree with someone. It’s a part of life. Yet, I am personally resolved to treat those I come across with kindness. For all I know, today could be the worst day of their life.

Carrying pain well does not make it invalid.

That is all.

Rest well. Breathe deeply. The world is not over and the sun continues to rise.

[whats-she-gonna-post-next]

So I just finished binding Trust Life by the absolutely amazing @chaiandsage (Hello, I am ready to be perceived now, I hope that I have done your story even the slightest bit of justice) and I just wanted to make a post both showing it off, and going through what I learned doing this bind because I did a few new things here and want to talk about it.

Also I'm not going to subject you all to this, so most everything but the final product here is going to be below the cut.

(Also so sorry that the photos aren't the best. I am... Very bad at photography, lmao)

Ok, so let's start off with some of the cool things I learned during this bind. Or, maybe not necessarily cool, but they are things I learned and I think that learning is cool!

First off, I learned how to download and add fonts to Microsoft Word, which while not interesting, does open up a whole world of fonts for future binds. Is it a little late in the game to have found this? Probably. But it is what it is. I actually downloaded a pretty good chunk of different ones, but the fonts I actually used were MF Love Dings for the heart motif dividers, which was a new download, and then a few standard fonts - Edwardian Script ITC for the title pages, Baskerville Old Face for the chapter headers, Book Antiqua for the chapter titles, and good old Garamond for the actual text of the novel.

Here is the divider and the title fonts. I just think they are neat.

Another thing I learned was how to make book cloth! I found these squares of white cotton fabric at a dollar tree and decided to give it a go. The way I did mine was by painting them first (a task in and of itself, and as you can see on the cover, did not turn out super even, but I love them nonetheless) and then I glued down a layer of tissue paper to give it a little stiffness and make it stick to the chipboard easier, it was a super cool process and I look forward to trying it again in the future now that I have done it once and have a better idea of how I can improve in the future

And now onto some of the other cooler parts of the process!

So I had a lot of fun doing the formatting, it's my favourite part of any binding process, I cannot tell you how many fics I have formated that I have yet to print out and actually bind because I enjoy the process so much (the answer is actually 5 that are completely formatted and ready to go, 3 that I am actively in the middle of formatting, 4 projects completed - including this one, which... may technically count as 3, granted 2 of them were gifts for other people - and 3 that I am planning on doing that I haven't gotten to start on yet. Oh, and a 5 part series that I have printed out but haven't actually bound yet. I have a problem, lmao.) As I mentioned, I downloaded a few fonts for this but it just ended up looking so good in the end. Here is what some of the inner formatting looks like (I did just take the screenshots from word, I thought it was easier than getting the pages in the book)

Something else! This was the first time I actually broke a single fic into multiple parts, and I do not regret it. Each section is fairly large on its own, so it would have been a monster all together. I gave them basically the same title pages and such, just used the main stories summary for all of them and copy pasted everything - work smarter, not harder - and kept the same format for the chapters and such. There were 2 obvious spots (at least imo) for breaking things up, those being at the end of chapter 24, and then again at the end of 57, if you know, you know. However, that made the divide be 24 chapter, 33 chapter, 9 chapters. I was a little worried about how that divide to affect the look of the books, but I was pleasantly surprised how well it worked out. Book 2 there is quite obviously the largest part (it's basically double the length of book 1) but book 3 was surprisingly long for being only 9 chapters and I think they look fairly cohesive together. I didn't realize how long the last nine chapters themselves were. The first and third ones are actually about the same size together as book two, which is pretty cool!

When it came time to put together the actual books, I stuck with my tried and true french link stitch, as I find it to be a sturdy stitch, and then used green, yellow, and red card stock for the end pages, I felt it thematic.

I'm super excited to have this as a physical book now, thank again to chaiandsage for allowing me to bind this amazing story and just for writing it in the first place! I read it like twice in the span of a month, and I swear I have read chapter 57 and 58 themselves way too many times to count. Not even going to mention the amount of times I read the last 6 chapters because I just love a good happy ending.

But yeah, I'm really happy how this bind turned out, I still have to put an actual cover in these - which I plan on doing, I have a friend who is going to help me with the cover design when they are free, so there will be an update at some point.

[minweber]

The thing about Watchers of the Throne books is that I found them at best moderately interesting while reading through them, but have since thought about their contents much more often than such review would suggest.

It comes down, rather unsurprisingly, to the main characters. Valerian and Aleya are great! Each is interesting to read about solo and they have a great dynamic when put together... It’s a real shame then, how little of them as a duo we actually get. Makes me wish that the whole Tieron/Jek/High Lords/Terran perspective on the historic events thing - which actually is also great! - was its own separate book, while these two starred in a different, smaller scope story.

But the part that really makes me come back is how appealing I find both Valerian and Aleya as windows into mentality of their respective orders. The way they think, act and react gels really well with the way I want to see Custodes and Sisters portrayed - so much so, in fact, that it's almost a shame that both of them are presented as something of deviants within their factions.

Valerian's calm and pleasant, but somewhat detached manner is a great way to portray these nigh-immortal superhumans, I think! Competent and well-meaning, but so far removed from the humans they interact with, that they aren't capable of fully understanding some of their emotions and motivations.

One of my favorite bits of the first book is when Aleya takes her frustrations with custodians' inaction out on Valerian and accuses him of not caring about humans and their lives by mentioning her homeworld and going "Oh, I bet you've never even heard about it". Not wanting to antagonize her, Valerian doesn't object, but in his head begins to reflexively recount a whole ass wikipedia article on the place, to a level of detail that suggests that he probably knows more information about it and its history than Aleya herself. What a delicious moment! Both refuting and supporting her sentiment - clearly this sort of detached, "academic" knowledge does not infer the kind of caring she meant... but it does infer some kind of caring. Even with a magic brain of a custodian, taking time to study something, learn about it in detail, put in effort - it all implies care for the subject - possibly a huge amount of it, depending on the perspective.

And I really like that! For a setting so obsessed with trans- and post- humanism, warhammer - in my whiny opinion - doesn't seem to delve enough into the way its supposedly hyperevolved superhumans would think. More often that not the depiction of what is supposed to be this whole other mode of human existence is limited to a character being super smart while offscreen and having very hightened, operatic emotions while onscreen.

And on one hand - it is very understandable why it ends up this way. All stories we tell - be their subjects talking objects or space supersoldiers - are, at least in some way, about human condition. So distancing your characters from it may seem counterproductive to telling a good story. But on the other hand - surely there exists enough variance in this incredibly vague term to justify broader exploration and departures? I found Valerian's way of thinking and caring to be a refreshing and interesting character trait. But could it mean something more, be more relatable perhaps, to someone neurodivergent? Or just someone otherwise different from me?

What I am trying to say is that I believe that leaning into exploration of what various "modified" ways of human thinking and perception might look like, is not only worthwhile as a tool for creating better fantasy stories - but also a generally useful literally tool that can help one deepen their understanding of others.

Aleya's side of the story actually feeds into it as well, though, I believe, a bit differently. Where the entertaining thing about Valerian is often how unconscious he is of his differences from those he interacts with, Aleya overcompensates in the other direction. She seems to be very acutely aware of how her condition makes her different from regular humans, and constantly runs her perception of the world through that filter, noting that several times throughout the books how her opinions or reactions are different to those a regular human would have in the same situation.

There are the fairly objective consequences of her powers, like most humans being uncomfortable around her, or her perceiving daemons and all their activity drastically differently. But she also notes herself as being less emotional than humans (which further reading... puts in question) as well as often unable to understand their motivations (which is very much a thing that very regular humans do as well). And while entirely possible as consequences of whatever pariahs' condition in warhammer is supposed to be, it is also tempting to say that it may have much more to do with her self-perception and upbringing. And that, in turn, poses a question about the source of otherness in general - we've all felt alienated at one or another point in our lives, but how much such feeling are to be trusted? When do they come from within and when without? When do we fight them, and when do we embrace them?

Anyway, the books are fine. I am normal about them. They kill a few Minotaurs in there.

[sideprince]

A movie question I wanted to throw your way: what do you think about the decision to use a decent amount of physical acting on Rickman’s part for comic effect? I’m thinking his snatch of thin air in Philosopher's Stone, his creeping along the table towards Ron and Harry in Chamber, his dramatic point in that same scene, his walk up to the stage for Dueling Club, his whacking students in Goblet and Order, etc.

On one hand, I feel like this does match the tone of the books; he canonically lurks and prowls and points and snatches at the air, and his menace is often undercut by a physical description that’s meant to be some level of comedic. On the other hand, we don't see Snape nearly as much in the movies as we do in the books, so this aspect of his character seems somewhat overinflated by the movies?

TLDR I don’t think these decisions in the movie were completely out of left field, but it also feels off for some reason. Idk I don’t know how exactly to verbalize my feelings on the matter and wanted to hear your thoughts!

It will probably come as no surprise that I feel like any answer to this question is inseparable from the absolute hatchet jobs that are Steve Kloves' screenplays for the HP franchise. This reply is going to end up inevitably long (you ask me about my favorite subject, you suffer the consequences), but all of it is ultimately framed by the problem of having to make the best of a badly written script. (**edit: This post is way too long. Run away. Don't look back.)

The writing doesn't support the story

The first thing that jumps out to me is that there's a separation between where and how these comedic moments are used, up until the end of GoF and after. They're more a part of the story only until Harry's story arc reaches the point of Cedric's death, when he first witnesses death in the way that allows him to see thestrals after. GoF is when the story takes its first dark turn, and up until then the tone and story is much more in line with children's literature, so it makes more sense that Snape is portrayed in a bit of a playful way. After GoF - even though the films reveal it as an aside and much later than the original story does - Snape resumes his role as spy and becomes more integral to the story as a key character and is thus no longer just a foil in a children's story. I think what doesn't work about it is the inconsistency. The books have comedic moments with Snape too, which are cartoonish, up until the end of DH - I feel those are also out of place, but at least their existence gives a basis to what's done in the films.

Nevertheless, one of the biggest problems with the films is that they're badly edited. I'll leave that analysis for another post (you're welcome), but essentially these comedic moments feel inconsistent in part because there's often a disconnect between the performance a director has asked of his actors and the tone that's established in the editing room once pacing and a soundtrack are added. Any vision a director had for these films was muddled by the involvement of big studio producers and limitations. This is made more jarring by the way that Kloves has interjected light, funny moments in awkward ways throughout the scripts. He struggles overall to convey the world that Rowling has created, and if it weren't for the brilliant production design of Stuart Craig, Kloves' failures would be much more obvious (again, worthy of its own roast post).

Take the scene where Snape whacks Harry and Ron on the head in Gof: why are the students all studying in the Great Hall? Why are various years sitting together? Why is Snape overseeing them? It's a scene almost verbatim out of the book (Fred asks Angelina to the ball casually, he and George tell Ron and Harry to get dates "before all the good ones are gone," we find out Hermione already has a date), but like pretty much every scene that originally takes place in the Gryffindor common room, this one is moved to another location for no discernible reason. The main difference in the change is how restrictive it is: in the common room the children are free to be themselves, but in the Great Hall, under a strict teacher's nose, they have to be quiet and restrained. Another subject that would need its own post is the myriad of ways Kloves goes out of his way to rewrite settings and characters to avoid allowing them to express themselves or grow as characters, and how hard he works to stifle and limit them in ways that are convoluted and work against the story, as if he himself couldn't deal with any kind of emotional vulnerability (in a way, his scripts are a desperate cry for help). This directly contributes to why so many of Snape's comedic moments feel off.

The changes in the scene in GoF don't even make sense from a production perspective, as they required more actors, more lighting, and more setups. Instead of using the cozy setting of the common room to establish camaraderie between the students, Kloves replaced that energy and lightheartedness with Snape in a way that's uncharacteristic. The scene, as he wrote it, is already light and has humor, but Kloves doesn't trust it - he feels the need to exaggerate it and the casualties, as always, are the characters and their portrayal. It's as though he's following a formula and saying, "this page number/scene number must provide relief from the tension of the story" and then doesn't consider how following that directive fits into the rhythm of the narrative. It's closer to being an isolated scene akin to a comedy sketch than to a scene that's part of an act that's part of a film. It's worth noting that, in GoF, Kloves interjects this scene as if he's forcing this moment of comic relief into a story that didn't require it and then relies on playing off of Snape's usual seriousness as its crux. In OOtP, when there's a callback to it as Snape smacks Ron with a book again, it's no longer the point of the scene, but an aside in a comical montage focused on Umbridge (OOtP was also the only film not written by Kloves, so this moment is more likely the result of Michael Goldenberg trying to maintain a consistency with Kloves' work). Overall, I think that feeling of something being off is, again, more rooted in the writing than the performance.

Rickman as an actor playing Snape

There's a lot of criticism in the Snapedom of how Alan Rickman portrays Snape, but not enough acknowledgment that none of the characters are portrayed well, and most of it comes down to Kloves' writing of them. Book!McGonagall insists that all students under 17 are evacuated before the Battle of Hogwarts, where Movie!McGonagall only cares that the Slytherin students are locked in the dungeon, everyone else can stay, what does she care if first years die? Book!Hermione is intelligent and empathetic while Movie!Hermione is a two dimensional maternalistic harpy whose main job is to be a mouthpiece for plot exposition. Book!Ron is funny and brave and fiercely loyal, while Movie!Ron throws Hermione under the bus, is cowardly, and is reduced to a flatly written sidekick. Book!Harry is complex and while I could list a million examples, I'll stick to this one: in PoA when he finds out Sirius betrayed his parents, he's enraged but has no reply when asked if he'd want to kill Sirius. Movie!Harry says with conviction, and without prompting, that he wants to find Sirius with the explicit purpose of killing him. Every single character takes a hit because of how Steve Kloves writes them, and Snape is, sadly, no exception.

While some film shoots allow for improvisation, a big budget production on a tight schedule with scenes that require a lot of prep work can't afford to make many changes. So, for example, while Ralph Fiennes was asked to improvise his scene as Voldemort at the end of DH2 when he re-enters Hogwarts victorious (and that's why the dialogue is redundant and that weird hug with Draco continues to plague us), it could be done because the wardrobe and set and cast were already in place and the time required had already been scheduled in. It wouldn't be possible, though, to add an additional scene - like Snape going feral in the hospital wing at the end of PoA - unless it was written into the script. Additional actors would be required, which would mean coordinating with their schedules and adding them to the budget, not to mention scheduling in additional days with the crew who may already have other work lined up. It would require either pushing every other shooting day back - which is near impossible - in order to use the hospital wing set while it's still up, or tacking on production days to the end of the shooting schedule and rebuilding the set on those days. This can be done for necessary pickups that round out existing scenes, but you can't really say, "hey I decided we need a scene here that didn't exist before" without causing huge problems. Because of how contracts work, any significant scene changes would have to be sent back to Kloves who would have to write alternate scenes and/or dialogue, and even then if you wanted to fix a specific character's arc - like Snape's - you would have to add in so much that it just wouldn't be feasible. Screenplay lengths have to fall within a certain number of pages, because each page is approximately a minute of screen time, so adding a few more to a finished script mid-production is very difficult. The actors have to make the best of what's on the page. Which brings us to Alan Rickman, his choices as an actor, and what informed both him and the character of Snape.

Alan Rickman was a RADA trained actor, so his approach to a character involved a lot of physical work as well as character analysis. As far as I know, he was the only actor to contact JK Rowling directly to ask about his character, because he wanted to make an informed decision about how to play him since Snape was so nuanced and gray. Unlike some of the other actors (like Michael "DIDYAPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYAH" Gambon) Rickman read the books - those that were available when he took on the role, and each as they came out afterwards - and used them to inform his understanding of his character beyond what Kloves wrote (presumably in crayon with all the e's backwards). In interviews and Q&A's it's clear Rickman was fond of the HP books and story, and had a thoughtful process taking on Snape's character. He did not see him as a villain, because, as he's said, he didn't approach characters with that kind of judgment. And while I'm sure the egregious amounts of cash Warner Brothers threw at the actors was inevitably a factor for all of them, several of the ones playing teachers or other adults have said that they took on their role because a child in their life insisted on it, despite them being unfamiliar with the books, whereas Rickman's process was to read Rowling's books in order to decide whether to take the role. Again, he was a RADA trained actor, and thus had a meticulous approach to his work that followed a thoughtful, considered process and a decision based on whether he felt he could embody a character in a way that did them justice/if they were interesting enough to him. By the time he started shooting PS, he also had experience directing a film and was working as a director in theatre as well as still acting, so he understood the process from the perspective of not just an actor, but also as someone behind the camera, someone working with actors both as a peer and director, and someone sitting in an editing room.

We know from his diaries that he became increasingly frustrated with how his own process and expectations clashed with that of the producers on Harry Potter. He wasn't interested in renewing his contract after the first few films (goodness knows how much money they offered him in the end - his wife has said that he never let anyone else pick up a tab in a restaurant and if they argued, he would just say "Harry Potter."). He writes about seeing the films at premieres and being frustrated with how little story and development there is (especially for Snape), which makes me think there are deleted scenes somewhere that haven't been released. At one point he writes about a premiere party where he had internally lost patience with the three Davids (Yates, Heyman, and Barron). It's obvious that there's a discord between the work he wanted to do with Snape's character and what choices the production made:

He describes how, during the filming of the Yule Ball scene in GoF, there was an attempt to get him to dance but he refused because he didn't think Snape would dance:

It was a rare moment of potential for improvisation because, again, the set and cast and timing were already accounted for, and in this case there wasn't even dialogue. The scene where he smacks the boys with the notebook - as far as I know - was scripted. So there's a difference there in how much freedom he had, as an actor, to say no to what he was asked to do. Even in the above diary entry it's clear that, given his way, he felt the character wouldn't even be present in that scene, but he had no choice. This tells me that when he had more freedom to make choices, he did so based on his understanding of Snape as a character and, given that he was an actor who was both very respected (and got away with more than most) and also someone who could get argumentative about his character choices, I think this is the most apt lens to examine his physical work with Snape through.

Knowing that he wasn't interested in continuing the role of Snape after the first couple of films and that he was often frustrated with the lack of characterization and story arc, his physicality in his first scene in CoS (when he reprimands Harry and Ron for flying the car) says a lot. (Caveat that one of the reasons he didn't want to renew his contract was that the shooting schedule restricted his schedule and he wanted work on other projects, but I can't help but wonder if that had been the case had HP provided a more satisfying process.) It's almost certain that he had read all the available books by the time the scene in CoS was filmed, including PoA where Snape becomes apoplectic with rage in a way that, to a child reader, is comical (and intended to be) and to someone analyzing Snape is clearly rooted in triggered trauma.

Alan Rickman knew from the outset that Snape's motivation was his love for Lily, so he would have understood the dynamic between his character and Sirius re: who Snape thought sold Lily out to Voldemort. He would also have understood that Snape's reaction in PoA was more about distress and anxiety, and that this was connected to the promise Snape had made to protect Harry for Lily's sake. This would have therefore informed his portrayal of Snape's anger at Harry in CoS, and it's reasonable to assume that Rickman was trying to walk the line between the way Rowling portrayed Snape in full unhinged rage in PoA, what this tells him about this character when angered, and the connection between the moments in PoA and CoS when it comes to Snape's anxiety over Harry's safety. Unlike the author of a book however, who has full control of how they tell a story, Rickman was an actor in a film - an inevitably collaborative medium which therefore made his portrayal reliant on the decisions of others as well.

Chris Columbus, the HP movies, and feral Snape

PS and CoS were directed by Chris Columbus, the guy who directed both Home Alone and Home Alone II and Mrs. Doubtfire. He was a successful director from the 90s tradition of children's movies whose sensibility was informed by the era's attitude towards children's media: kids wanting to see themselves in narratives, in ways that felt empowering and allowed them to process the confusion of a world run by adults in playful, quasi-cartoonish ways within a 3 act structure where the villains - mean adults - get their comeuppance because it feels fair. One thing that set Harry Potter apart was that the villain was not the mean adult; Snape, the mean adult, is a character kids can hate and project their own experiences onto, but Voldemort is a true villain who represents evil and is vanquished by the hero. Chris Columbus established a tone for the first two films that was no longer apt by PoA, not only because it didn't work for the story, but because that 90s era of children's movies had ended and the culture moved on to more complex narratives (and Columbus has focused more on producing than directing since, because his style doesn't work for audiences anymore).

What's ironic about the way Snape's scene at the start of CoS comes off is that, in the book, there's a great comedic moment that's left out:

This is cut from the film, and instead it's Filch waiting at the top of the marble stairs who catches Ron and Harry being late and delivers them to Snape (I don't know why, the scene in the book is much more dynamic and would have taken up about as much time on screen). Rickman, meanwhile, is using the information he's gotten on who Snape is from the books, and imbuing some of that feral Snape energy into his portrayal of a Snape who is genuinely angry:

(Thank you for making these gifs @smilingformoney , they are truly the gift that keeps on giving.)

The thing is, no matter how much of feral Snape Rickman brought to this, no matter how menacing his performance is, this moment still lives within the dynamics of a Chris Columbus children's film. It gets cut off by Dumbledore's entrance - meant to be a comeuppance for Snape, since Dumbledore (being the voice of wisdom and fairness in this world) prevents him from punishing Harry and Ron (you know what, at least in the books they got detention, but ok). Despite Rickman's performance, Columbus as a director has framed this scene in the same context as the one Kloves cut. The tension is brief, and the focus is on Snape being foiled, because it's what children want to see - a mean adult experiencing consequences. It's down to the editing and soundtrack, choices Columbus made in the editing room. In addition, we don't know how many different ways an actor tries a scene, only what ends up in the final cut of a film. The process of the work done on a set is often much richer and more diverse than what an audience sees in the finished film.

Tbh I think this is also why Snape's feral moments were cut from PoA: it's a darker film, but had to straddle the line between being for both children and tweens and not getting too playful, nor too intense. As much as I want to see feral Snape on screen, it's extremely difficult to make work in a narrative that is about Harry and his friends. It either skews too intense, making the audience uncomfortable because seeing an adult becoming unhinged and in pain is difficult and frightening for most young people, even adults, and would therefore take away from Harry's goals and narrative as well as his changing relationship to Sirius (all of which is already barely supported by Kloves' writing). Alternately, it could also skew too comical and over the top, which takes the audience out of the tension of the film's climactic moments.

If Snape's story had gotten more focus and screen time, an unhinged moment would be better justified because the audience would have been more invested in the character and their arc. PoA sidesteps pretty much all of the most compelling parts of the book, which is the realization that Harry is not only connected to Sirius personally, but that his dad, Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew created the Marauders Map, that they were animagi, that Harry's patronus takes the form of his father's stag, and that Snape was initimately connected to all of them as well. For me, reading the end of PoA was what cemented Snape as someone who would be crucial to the narrative and whose role would increase as the series went on. As a result of Kloves skimming over these essential plot twists, Snape is a minor character in the film, showing up mostly as a foil who tries to expose Lupin and then catches him and Black in the Shrieking Shack (this also sets his character up to be minimized in every film down the line, which has a worsening impact as Snape becomes increasingly integral to the plot).

One thing I find interesting is that Snape's comical physicality changes over the films. In PS and CoS he's menacing, a looming, larger than life figure the children fear and easily assume to be a full-fledged villain. By GoF there's a relationship embedded in how he interacts with Harry and his friends. He's no longer terrifying, just intimidating, more of an adult Harry challenges than someone he must defeat. The comedic effect now comes from a rapport within an established dynamic between characters. By HBP, the only comical moment is at Slughorn's party, and it's no longer Rickman who uses physicality - the action happens around him, and the comedic effect is in his lack of reaction to any of it. In other words, he's no longer the comic one, he's become the straight man in a (badly written) comedy sketch (with abysmal timing, what even).

Ultimately, as with most of the characters in the HP films, Snape is undermined by the writing. Rickman was stuck working within the confines he was given. No matter how well he may have understood the character, the limited screen time and character development were always going to stifle how Snape was portrayed on screen. I'm very much pro Let Snape Be Feral but I also don't fault Rickman in how little we saw of that.

How Feral is Snape?

If I'm honest, I feel like the Snapedom has taken the Let Snape Be Feral thing and has started forgetting that he wasn't all-feral-all-the-time. The point of Feral Snape is that it's a heightened state of tension in a character whose trauma is being triggered. Apoplectic Snape wouldn't have an impact at the end of PoA if that was his usual way of being. And, as you so brilliantly showed @said-snape-softly Snape's speech patterns are primarily quiet and controlled, his speech gets softer the more dangerous his mood, and it's only after he reassumes his role as a spy that the description of his speech becomes increasingly volatile (but is still controlled). Feral Snape's definitive aspect is the lack of control shown by a character who usually is so exceptionally capable of self restraint and compartmentalization. So again, while I would have loved to see Feral Snape on screen, I think it's also important to acknowledge that this is not the defining feature of his character and is more about what those moments mean to his arc. Their absence is primarily due to poor writing that didn't create space for them (including what leads up to them), and the direction that didn't carve out any kind of niche for them, not Rickman's choices as an actor.

In fact, Snape as a character is defined by descriptors of his voice more than any other character by far. I have my own theory about why this is, and it has to do with Alan Rickman being inextricably connected with how Snape is written. Chris Columbus said that Alan Rickman was always Snape as far as he was concerned, because when JK Rowling showed him a sketch of Snape she had made, it looked exactly like Rickman. I don't think this is accidental.

Alan Rickman was always intended to be Snape

First, what's important to remember is that before Harry Potter, Alan Rickman was best known in the 90s for playing both villains and sad romantic leads. His signature defining feature was his voice. I think it was Ang Lee who described the casting choice of Greg Wise and Alan Rickman in Sense and Sensibility as wanting Willoughby (Wise) to be dashing and Brandon (Rickman) to be sexy (if this was Emma Thompson and not Ang Lee, my apologies, I can't remember where I read this and can't find the source). This is how Rickman was perceived by audiences up until Harry Potter. And I know a lot of the Snapedom considers him to be sexy as Snape too, but the general audiences of the films don't, so please don't @ me, I'm just setting up a point here.

This is relevant because, as we find out in the end of the books, Rowling wrote Snape's motivations to be rooted in romantic love (I'm very nobly putting aside, for the sake of focusing on Rowling's intentions, my personal interpretation that Snape's feelings for Lily were platonic, please acknowledge how brave I am for this). She pulls a lot from gothic tropes into how he's written, and as much as she's talked about the character having been inspired by a chemistry teacher she disliked, and as much as she's talked about Snape being both morally grey and someone she personally dislikes, she also romanticized him. Between this and what Chris Columbus said about her sketch of him, it's hard for me to ignore that this character, conceived of in the 90s, wasn't written with Alan Rickman in mind from the beginning, especially since Rowling herself has said that she envisioned him in the role. Whether or not he lived up to Rowling's imagination is, frankly, his choice and Rowling's problem.

The story of how Harry Potter was written according to JK Rowling is that it started with the idea coming to her on a train ride in 1990. She completed the PS manuscript in 1995. While everything I'm about to say is absolute conjecture, I can't help but wonder at the connection between these films and the way Snape was written (spoilers ahead, no regrets, these films have been out for over a quarter of a century - forgive my reviews, I can't help myself):

1988: Die Hard comes out. Alan Rickman plays Hans Gruber, a villain who is a genius, composed, controlled, and soft-spoken. (Great film, a classic, the only valid Christmas movie.)

1990: Truly, Madly, Deeply. Rickman plays a man whose wife can't get over his tragic death, nor can his own ghost, who comes back to spend more time with her. No one else can see him, and they can't really share a life anymore. She eventually lets him go as she realizes that his spirit doesn't belong in the mortal world and her own life can't move on as long as she clings to it. (Beautiful film, will break your heart and put it through a shredder.)

1991: Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Rickman is the Sheriff of Nottingham, an unhinged, feral villain who wears all black complete with billowing cape. (Terrible film, disaster of a period piece, Rickman's performance is the only redeeming thing about it. Halfway through its press tour talk shows started booking Rickman instead of the lead, Kevin Costner, because Rickman stole every scene.)

1995: An Awfully Big Adventure. Rickman is an actor who comes back to his hometown to revive his role as Captain Hook in a local theatre production of Peter Pan. In the process he has an affair with a young ginger stagehand who reminds him of his lost love, a vivacious woman named Stella with bright red hair who, as far as he knows, birthed his child - a son - before she died. It turns out the girl he has an affair with is his daughter, which he realizes when he visits her home where she lives in the care of her aunt and uncle - whose name is Vernon - and connects the dots of who this girl's mother was. (He then rides his motorcycle out to the pier, screams "Stella" at the heavens like he's in a revival production of Streetcar Named Desire, trips and hits his head on the edge of the pier and falls into the water, drowning. I can't make this up. Mike Newell directed this. The same guy who directed GoF. As if following in the vein of the 90s movie obsession with incest as the controversial-trope-du-jour wasn't enough. I don't even need to review this, just sum it up.)

1995: Sense and Sensibility. Rickman plays Colonel Brandon, a forlorn, grieving man who lost his first love at a young age and spends most of the film pining for the only other woman he's ever had a romantic interest in. Wears all black, rides a black horse.

Given what a well-known actor Rickman was in the 90s - especially in England - and how connected his characters all seem to be to various aspects of Snape, it's hard not to see a connection. The entire premise of Truly, Madly, Deeply sounds like the inspiration for the Resurrection Stone in Deathly Hallows. The redheaded lost love whose child is left in the care of an Uncle Vernon in An Awfully Big Adventure is difficult to look past. All of these characters either exude menacingly soft-spoken Snape energy, feral Snape energy, or forlorn because of his lost love Snape energy. As a result, I feel like it's almost inevitable that Rickman inspired Snape, especially when you consider how known he was for his voice and how frequently Snape's voice is used to describe him. When Rowling said that she envisioned him in the role, it makes me wonder if she meant during the casting process for the first film, or well before it. I think his previous roles were a contributing factor in how the character was written in the books. After Tim Roth - who was originally cast in the role - had to back out due to scheduling conflicts, she got her way. Authors don't often get to choose who plays their characters, but in this case it worked out as the production thought Rickman was a good fit as well.

I'm done, I promise

So where does this leave things at the end of this horrendously long post? Rickman's choices of how he physicalized Snape - comedic or not - are only part of a larger whole. He was playing a character who was written based on his other roles, and limited by the shortcomings of how Steve Kloves translated that character from Rowling's books into his own screenplays. Whatever Rickman did on set was limited by that writing, by the directors he worked with, and by the choices made in the editing room.

I'm fascinated by the idea that Rickman was playing a character written with him in mind - but not really him, the him who embodied other characters whose echoes show up in Snape. It's difficult enough to contend with an actor playing a character in a screenplay you wrote with them in mind when you're directing your own script, because they'll never be what you imagined in your head. But for that process to get filtered through several directors, a team of producers, another writer who changes your work, and an editor, let alone throughout a decade of films - that's downright wild. The original intention gets lost and reinterpreted like a game of telephone, and I think that a lot of the consistencies between Movie!Snape and Book!Snape are down to Alan Rickman's nuanced and generous nature as an actor. If I'm honest, I'm not convinced that every Snape moment that comes off comical was meant to be so by Rickman. But again, film is such a collaborative medium that his intentions aren't the only ones that matter, ultimately, at least they aren't the only thing that ends up in the final cut.

My take, personally, is that I'm more interested in critical analysis than personal criticism. I respect that everyone has their own vision of a character and fandom is absolutely here for, among other things, having a place to share those thoughts and feelings. But a character is rarely going to appear on screen the same way you see them in your head, and that's not always going to be a fault, even if it's a disappointment to you. It's interesting to hear different people's perceptions, but there isn't that much to discuss there - you can't refute how someone feels, and you can't argue that their truth is what it is, to them. Whereas with critical analysis there's a lot more to talk about and examine, so it's where my own interest is much more invested.

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: many worlds, portal fantasy edition

A typical portal fantasy follows a human from our world who steps through a portal into a magical land (think of narnia). But there are many fun variations of this trope! Sometimes it's the magical people who come to our world; sometimes we get to follow people who have returned from their adventures and are seeking for new meaning; sometimes our world isn't involved at all. As might be assumed, most portal fantasies are fantasy stories, but some lean more toward magical realism, others toward sci-fi. It's a fun spectrum!

I'm separating portal fantasies from alternate timelines/parallel worlds type stories (which will get their own rec post soon-ish). I also generally do not include stories where the character travels to fairyland/land of the dead/etc as those feel like a genre of their own to me, but the lines between them sometimes blur and this is, obviously, a subjective list.

(Titles marked with * are my personal favorites)

Other book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books

For more detailed info on the books, continue under the cut.

The Magicians (Magicians trilogy) by Lev Grossman*

You may not have heard of this book, but you have probably heard of the scyfy series of the same name that crashed and burned a few years ago. This is the book it’s based on (pros: it doesn’t end in the same way; cons: it doesn’t feature the juggernaut ship of the show in any major way). For the uninitiated: features what is essentially a (secret) magic university for tormented geniuses. When he finds magic isn't enough to grant him happiness, main character Quentin goes digging into the truth surrounding his favorite childhood books searching for meaning, and finds out that the magical other world they describe might not be so fictional after all.

Stray (Touchstone trilogy) by Andrea K. Höst*

Young adult told through diary entries. Including this as a portal fantasy is a bit of a stretch, but essentially: Cassandra unkowingly walks through a wormhole and lands herself on another planet, where she has to survive on her own until she is rescued. Soon she finds herself embroiled in a war between creatures from dreamlike other dimensions and the people who saved her. Skirts the line between scifi and fantasy (it has psychic space ninjas!), but generally feels mostly like sci-fi. Absolutely fantastic worldbuilding.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan*

Young adult. Kids who can walk between our world and a magical one get recruited into a magical school that trains them either to be fighters or sort-of diplomats. Our lead decides that fighting is stupid and that he’s going to peacefully solve every conflict ever, all while being the most delightfully obnoxious little brat possible and getting incolved in the most bisexual love triangle imaginable. Very good, funny, and heart-felt coming of age story.

NPCs (Spells, Swords, & Stealth series) by Drew Hayes*

This one only counts as a portal fantasy on a technicality and on the fact that I love it and this is my list. Follows a group of DnD players whose characters immediately die, forcing them to make new characters, and, parallel to their adventures, a group of NPCs from the fantasy world who find themselves forced to take the place of a party of recently deceased adventurers. The two parties do cross path on occasion, but there aren't actually any portals involved as all characters (mostly) stay in their respective world. A fun and light-hearted adventure that turns a lot of the expected tropes of the genre and of character archetypes on their heads.

The Time of the Dark (The Darwath series) by Barbara Hambly

1982 classic. Medieval history student Gil and biker Rudy are complete strangers, but when they get mixed up with a wizard from another world the two must work together to survive and get back home. Fairly traditional fantasy with its fair share of issues, but! It has cool swordswomen, creepy lovecraftian monsters and also mammoths!

The Twelve Kingdoms by Fuyumi Ono*

Young adult, light novel. Yoko Nakajima is a regular high school student, or at least she was one until a strange man showed up in her school, swore allegiance to her and whisked her away to another world. As the two get separated, Yoko is stuck on her own in a strange world, hunted by humans and demons alike as she travels in search of a way home. Absolute high point of isekai literature, with an incredible main character and really cool and unique worldbuilding (also available as an anime, however I have yet to watch it and can't speak to its quality just yet).

Peter Darling by Austin Chant*

Novella. An older Peter Pan returns to Neverland after years spent in our world, only to find that everything is different. Before he knows it, he finds himself working with his lifelong enemy, Captain Hook. Very gay and very trans, with interesting takes on toxic masculinity. Made my heart ache in the best of ways.

A Curse so Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Young adult. A retelling of beauty and the beast, where 'beauty' is a girl brought in from our world to a fantastical one and the narrative focuses a lot on what actually happens to the kingdom when the royal family suddenly disappears, and whether it’s even possible to fall in love with someone you know is deliberately trying to seduce you to break a curse. This is part one of a trilogy, however I'm only really recommending the first book as the second did not work for me at all.

The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials trilogy) by Philip Pullman

Young adult/middle grade, fantasy but has a lot of sci-fi aspects as well. Already well-known and for good reason, the His Dark Materials trilogy starts as what seems a pretty typical fantasy with some cool unique aspects (everyone has a soul-bound animal only they can speak to as their best friend!), and soon veers into a truly one of a kind story. It has magical portals, it has strange worlds with equally strange inhuman creatures, it has physics, it has god murder, it has gay angels, it has tragedy, and it’s very much worth your time.

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children series) by Seanan McGuire*

A tumblr favorite, the Wayward Children novellas feature a school open to children who have returned from adventures in other realms and now have trouble adapting back to regular life. Some installments are set in our world, others follow children as they have their otherworldly adventures. The main characters vary between books, but are generally pretty diverse with among others asexual, trans, intersexual and sapphic leads. Both funny and dark, it takes a closer look at the trauma many endure growing up different.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picnic series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I'm sure you'll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to both find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime.

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron

Young adult. Brody is dealing with a lot, but it all gets a little easier when he meets Nico, who shows him how to access Everland, a magical land where he feels less out of place. But when the doors to Everland start disappearing, Brody must choose which world is really home. I'd categorize this less as fantasy and more as coming of age with a fantasy slant. It's also very gay.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Surreal and fairy tale-esque, The Starless Sea is stories within a story, following graduate student Zachary as he finds a strange book which, in-between other tales, tells a story from his own childhood. Trying to find out how this came to be, Zachary gets involved with a pink-haired woman and a handsome man who are doing their utmost to protect a strange, otherworldly library available only through magical doors. It's a book hard to put in words, but which I once described as "romantic without being a romance while stile having a love story at it's core", and which can be summed up only as "an Experience". It's also quite gay!

The Memory Theater by Karin Tidbeck

Listen, there’s a whole bunch of Swedish portal fantasies I read growing up that I'm dying to include here, but I'm not because they’re not available in English. The Memory Theater however is available, and is very good. Two children who were stolen into an otherworldly realm that wants them dead fight return to earth, and are followed by one of their captors across universes. The story has the feel of a dark fairy tale, and their captors, while not fey, are very reminiscent of them.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow*

Historical young adult, more magical realism than fantasy. In the early 20th century, January is living under the care of her father's employer while he travels the world searching for valuables and secrets. But both her father and her caretaker are keeping something from her, something about her own family's history. When she one day stumbles upon a strange book, one that speaks of other worlds, she finally sets out to find the truth. However, there are those seeking to stop her and destroy the doors between worlds, no matter what.

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher*

Horror rather than fantasy. After having divorced, Kara moves to stay with her uncle and help him run his museum of curiosities, until one day she discovers a hole in the wall of his house. The hole leads to a strange bunker, and beyond that, a dark and dangerous world beyond her understanding. In the company of a friend, she goes to explore this world, but quickly comes to regret her decision to do so.

The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood*

The sort of portal fantasy you get when all the worlds connected by portals are fantasy worlds, and none of them are ours. The portals themselves become simply a part of the worldbuilding that the characters use to travel between fascinating places, and it's all really cool. It follows Csorwe (lesbian orc assassin whom I love), who grew up in a cult, indoctrinated as a child sacrifice to a god. But on the day she was meant to die, she instead chose to follow a powerful wizard and train to become his loyal servant and sword. Aside from being an excellent fantasy, it's also a close look at the hard path of unlearning indoctrination and the search for love and validation where you'll never find it, and learning to live for yourself.

Odin's Child (the Raven Rings trilogy) by Siri Pettersen

Norwegian (vaguely Norse mythology inspired) young adult. Fifteen-year-old Hirka grew up thinking she simply lost her tail to a wolf attack, but one day she finds out she never had one: she's an Odin's child, a human, sent from another world and rumored to spread rot and ruin wherever she goes. To keep her secret safe, she goes on the run, but there are forces hunting for her, wanting to use her in their war. This reads mostly as a fairly typical epic fantasy, with the portal aspect not playing a major role until the second book.

The Barbed Coil by J.V. Jones

1997 classic. Tessa is a young woman with little going for her, until she stumbles upon a strange ring that transports her to a magical and dangerous other land. Here she meets Ravis, a mercenary who takes it upon himself to protect her, and discover her own special abilities, which she must use against an evil king whose mind has been corrupted and taken over by his crown, the Barbed Coil.

Skeen's Leap (Skeen trilogy) by Jo Clayton

1986 classic. While most portal stories are fantasy, this one has a distinct sci-fi flavour. Skeen is master thief wanted in a myriad solar systems, until her spaceship gets stolen and she's stranded on a backwater planet. Here she hears rumors of ruins leading to a strange other land. Hoping for treasure enough to get her off-planet, Skeen goes in search of this place, but finds herself stuck and unable to get back. This one has a unique, almost stream of consciousness prose that takes a while getting used to, but rewards you with a one of a kind experience.

Inkheart (Inkworld trilogy) by Cornelia Funke

German middle grade/young adult, in which the fantastical other worlds are those told of in books. Young Meggie's father has the ability to, when he reads, bring things and people out of the books, or put other people into said books. However, once having done so, he knows of no way to put anyone back where they belong. Now, years after he accidentally brought the terrible villain Capricorn and his henchmen out of their book, he and his daughter must evade them at all costs or be forced to bring further horrors out of the page and into the world.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows

A teenage girl accidentally follows a worldwalker from her world to a magical realm on the brink of civil war. I believe this on has both a major polyamorous relationship and ace/aro characters?

The Sleeping Dragon (Guardians of the Flame series) by Joel Rosenberg

1983 classic. A group of college dnd players find themselves transported to the magical realm they previously thought just a game.

The Wandering Inn by Pirateaba

Webnovel. After having been transported to a magical world, Erin decides to, rather than become a warrior or a mage, start running an inn.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The Marked Girl by Lindsey Klingele, The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Kay, Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica, Spellsinger by Alan Dean Foster, The Shattered Gates by Ginn Hale, The Awakening by Nora Roberts, Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor.

[ratwavegamehouse]

Doing work on This is Your Lifepath season 2 has got me thinking about lists of inspirations again. So I rounded up some lists in upcoming projects.

(Ritual Magic for Besties isn't here as its bibliography is fairly short and more explanatory rather than list-y, also like it comes out later this month so you can just wait)

PSYCHODUNGEON

The games listed are primarily about mechanical influence (which is why they're mostly a very large slice of Belonging outside Belonging games). Big exceptions are Subway Runner and DD.TV which are both there for post-dungeon fantasy influence. ACWtM is there for the influence on the asymmetric roles, which are a divergence from how BoB setting elements tend to work, and so my own Fear the Taste of Blood is there because working on that is how I understood that element better.

Probably should clarify Moonstruck is the comic (as like loose setting influence) rather than the film (which bangs but doesn't relate much to PSYCHODUNGEON).

NHSmackdown is a wrestling/performance art show by a friend of mine which was focused on being a nurse. The influence is in how it got me reflecting on being trapped in job which is nominally doing good but isn't protecting you and is honestly actively harming you.

Nemesis Revealed

Nemesis Revealed is a storytelling game of great rivals, where you play someone's nemesis, their dark counterpart and follow their story. It has multiple playsets which frame a different hero to create your nemesis in opposition to.

So the game influences are either in mechanics or in the structure of a book basically. Whereas the other section primarily focuses on specific influences for different playsets (there's a sort of conventional street level superhero, a gender-twisty tokusatsu inspired story, as well as strange space knights and near-distant future mecha crews). It's a scattershot and probably reads very opaque without context (I think that's how all my bibliography lists look which is probably why I place them at the back, where a reader will find them already armed with context, rather than at the start as a taste setter).

Transgender Deathmatch Legend II: Grand Slam

TDL2 actually has two separate lists. There's a traditional bibliography. I referenced my own work I've drawn on because it seems honest. Fox in the Forest is there for influencing the original mechanic. Hieronymus influenced how i wanted the shape of the book to be. Stealing the Throne influenced some non-fighting mechanics.

The other references are more for how they influenced specific scenarios (like one is loosely Raid inspired but turned into smashing up a GIC, while another is a direct Warriors-riff).

I included the Party of One episode i did cause it helped clarify how i felt about the game. British lads hitting each other with chairs is there because it's a mood.

Sh!t Theatre Drink Rum with Expats was a fringe theatre show I did set up for and it ended up influenced the content of a work-in-progress show I did called Crossface (which was a wrestling inspired character comedy performance drama). Some of the content for Crossface has been recycled into some personal essays I have in the book. So paying tribute to that root felt important.

But before that section TDL also has a Recommended Reading list. It's mainly stuff that I think conveys what's enjoyable about wrestling. I wouldn't say everything was a direct inspiration, but if you read the book and played the game and wanted to know more about wrestling; there's a little roadmap in the book.

(Though being serious this appendix is obviously super subject to change before release if anything horrific comes out about anyone featured, obviously the danger in recommending any wrestling tbh)