jenanigans1207

[jenanigans1207]

Last year ➡️ this year

The progress I’ve made is something I’m really proud of! When I first started making my version of this blanket, I wasn’t sure there was going to be that noticeable of a difference. I still wanted to make it just to have a version of the blanket for myself, but now that I can see the progress it’s becoming something even more special to me!

(Also, one of the first changes I knew I wanted to make was to add the dark diamond on the bottom of the tie because it was a missed opportunity that I didn’t have the tie backwards last year.)

[jenanigans1207]

Apparently I’ve gone full send insane. I’ve gotten in my head that after I make the Cas blanket, I should make Dean and Sam blankets, too. So I adjusted the dimensions of the Cas blanket from 13x13 to 16x16 to make sure it will match when I use the name Winchester in the other two.

Now I not only have a bunch more squares to make in general, but I need to come up with 12 more design squares 😩 it also means that Cas’s name is off center because the other ones will say Dean (or Sam) on one line and Winchester on the row below. And since Cas doesn’t have a last name, that throws him a little off balance.

For my personal version, that’s okay because I’m going to put Misha’s autograph there but still. The concept of it being off center bothers me 😭

So if you have any ideas for what I should put where a last name would go for Cas (before you suggest it, ‘Angel of the lord’ is too long), or if you want to suggest design square ideas by just telling me things that you associate with Cas or things that make you think of him, I would appreciate it!

(If photo diagrams help or you need a list of the 44 already existing design squares to have a better idea what I mean, that can be provided)

[jenanigans1207]

are you ever going to finish discriminating taste? that is my all time favorite fic and im always so disappointed when i check and there is no updates 💔💔

Eventually, yes! As much as it feels like it (and trust me, I know it feels like it), it’s not an abandoned fic! Part of the lack of update is just the lack of motivation lately. A lot of the lack of update is the surgery I had earlier this year followed by a severe shoulder injury 👍🏼 I promise you that this fic haunts me more than it haunts you guys and I think about it all the time. So yes, it will be finished eventually. I just can’t currently promise when eventually is. And for that, I am sorry! But take my word that it’s not abandoned!!!!

[jenanigans1207]

i’m sure this has been done before but the idea made me laugh so i (re)made it anyway

[jenanigans1207]

“I guess I’m not the man either of our dad’s wanted me to be.” Is honestly Dean Winchester’s most gut-wrenching line in the entire series. It haunts me daily.

[jenanigans1207]

Guys please look at how good my letters turned out 😭😭😭 the progress from last year is really incredible. I’m so proud of them!! That S is my pride and joy, the best thing I’ve ever crocheted.

[jenanigans1207]

Here’s your sign to keep practicing and to know that art is all forms is a skill that you can learn if you want to!

[jenanigans1207]

can i ask, whats the cas blanket? (in the tag on one of your posts from a few days ago)

The Cas blanket is a blanket I crocheted last year over the course of 3 months with a broken hand, and then promptly gifted it to Misha at a con! It looks like this:

It has 44 squares of designs that I made based off of Cas’s character! It was my first ever attempt at something like this so there’s tons of room to improve, but I’m still proud of it!

When I made it for Misha last year, my friends were quick to point out that it would be hard (and borderline criminal) for me to give it away after all the work I was putting into it. And so, I had resolved to make a second one for me to keep. The tl;dr is that I burned myself out on the first one and so I never got around to making mine but now, a whole year later, I feel ready to make mine! So now I’m making this blanket again, but adjusting it based off of what I learned making the first one and the improvement in my skill level since last year :)

And since I binged supernatural while I was making the first one, it only seems right that I binge it while making this one!

[jenanigans1207]

When Sam finds out that Dean sold his soul to bring him back, he’s rightfully mad at upset at Dean. And then Dean, with bigger puppy dog eyes than Sam has ever had in his entire life hits him with the “don’t do that. Don’t you get mad at me.” Like “we only have one year left together, don’t spoil our limited time by being upset with me.” Like “we need to make the most of our time left together because it’s already slipping away, and I want it to be filled with only good memories.” Like “of course I did that for you, the way I do everything else for you, but you weren’t supposed to know.”

Oh how you hurt me, Dean Winchester!!!!!! How you shatter my heart into pieces and hurt my soul!!!!!!

[jenanigans1207]

[jenanigans1207]

Nobody hurts me like Dean Winchester hurts me. And while Dean Winchester hurts me frequently and deeply, one of the worst times is in s2e11. When they’re at that hotel being haunted by the ghost of the grandmother’s sister and Sam gets drunk and begs Dean to promise that he will do as John asked and kill him if he starts to go bad. And Dean, in the smallest voice, quietly goes “don’t ask this of me”.

Oh Dean Winchester you hurt me, you hurt me, you hurt me! You poor, wonderful, darling boy who doesn’t deserve any of the shit that’s put on your shoulders. You poor, caring, bleeding heart who was ready to die with Sam instead of killing him on at least one occasion already. You poor, loving, kind-hearted soul who only wanted to live your life with your beloved little brother and now even that is being threatened by the very person you hold most dear. I will forever ache for you.

[jenanigans1207]

The fact that Dean is already expressing a desire to leave the life and be done with hunting in s2e9 just crushes my soul entirely. He hasn’t hit the tip of the iceberg as far as shit he’s going to go through. He’s just a baby trying his best to care for his brother and he has so much awful stuff ahead of him. Oh Dean Winchester, I ache for you.

[jenanigans1207]

In light of everyone being nice about the cardigans I made jenmish, is this the time to bring back the blanket I crocheted for Misha last year based on Cas? Because I made this whole thing from scratch, unknowingly doing tapestry crochet (and doing it wrong), made more incorrect versions of these squares than correct ones, and did the entire thing with a broken hand.

[jenanigans1207]

Okay I need your help. My next crochet project is to attempt to make a sweater with the rib carvings as the design. I have this to base the front panel off of, but do we have a view from the back? Do we assume there are no carvings on the back and it’s just normal ribs?

Also, do I go, like, full xray and make it so the sleeves have all the bones, too? Or just do the rib carvings?

[jenanigans1207]

While I’m here, the other thing that’s so important to me about Jenmish is how openly loving they are. There’s zero toxic masculinity between them. They can stand in front of a crowd and tell each other how loved they are without flinching or feeling embarrassed. They can hug and hold each other without it being weird for them. They are such a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like, no matter what context you take that relationship in.

Their public, unashamed and unconditional love and support of each other is the kind of thing that really makes such a positive impact and it’s really special every time I get to see it. They can be absolute goofy dorks together, and then they can sit down and discuss really serious and important things. It’s just so, so special and I’m so grateful to them for sharing glimpses of it with us because, again, that’s the kind of relationship we should all strive for and try to provide to those who matter to us.

Misha often talks about trying to change the world for the better with big acts like building schools and supporting refugees and I love and support that so wholeheartedly. But I think this smaller act of being a good example of a healthy relationship has just as broad of an impact and it deserves to be recognized, too.

The thing about jenmish is that it doesn’t really matter if those old men are actually stupidly in love with each other or not. And I don’t mean that in a rude or dismissive way. What I mean is that the chemistry between them is insane and electric—they literally won an award for it.

It’s beyond clear that they’re very important to each other, that they’re integral parts of each others lives, and that they will continue supporting and loving each other unconditionally. But whether that’s from just a strong friendship or a hidden pining/yearning/unconfessed love isn’t super relevant. The moment you put the two of them in the same space, it’s electric.

They look at each other and sparks fly. They feed off of each other, reach for and hold each other, and entertain each other. They’re definitely soulmates of some sort, whether platonic or romantic. But it’s intoxicating to watch them together because of how they interact and how they basically seem to melt into each other. To watch the comfort they have with each other to not only openly express how much they care about each other, but to tease each other and find strength in each other is really something special. It’s really a once-in-a-lifetime connection they share and it’s so insane (in a good way) to witness and experience.

[jenanigans1207]

i love you.

[jenanigans1207]

So how did the autographs go, did you get to give them their cardigans? :)

I did!! And I got mine signed!

So Jensen was running SUPER far behind. Not sure what happened there. But he was supposed to do all autos except for 8x10 photos on Saturday and he ended up not even being able to do all gold/silver pass autos. Like he had to get out of there QUICK because he had the Radio Company panel to make it to. So I didn’t get to talk to him much, but he seemed to recognize the cardigan and he took it from me with a big smile and a sincere thank you! (And let me tell you, when that man looks you directly in the eyes, it’s something)

Misha had a little bit more time and also recognized the cardigan. So I was like “here you go, as promised!” And he smiled and took it and then I said “and you can match Jensen now since he got his, too!” And Misha laughed and said “love that!!” And then he signed my cardigan and gave it back and then like held up the bag his cardigan was in and said “thank you so much, it’s great.”

So it was a lovely experience and they both seemed to remember their cardigans and to be pleased!

And now this is how mine looks with their autographs :) (Misha just happened to be signing in blue so his matches perfectly! And the helper accidentally flipped the cardigan around on Jensen so when he got it sorted, he technically signed his square upside down. But all around the whole experience of the photo and the autos was absolutely perfect to me and so much nicer than even my wildest hopes!!)