#man i love the ambitions ep

[plant-sim]

Emergency time 🔥

[hastyprovocateur]

Mizu, Akemi, Brothels & Bedrooms

Mizu and Akemi's approach to sex (so far) has been very inverse. For Mizu, sex is intimate, almost sacred to the point of inaccessibility. Her pretending to be a man has compelled her far from intimacy in order to protect herself and her secret. On the rare occasion when she does engage in physical relations during her shortlived marriage, she engages in it furtively. She's shy, sweet and submissive. She has very little to no experience and while she enjoys it, she doesn't appear to demand to be in a position of authority while it ensues. She's happy to let go of the reins and allow herself to put in a safe space. Her voice pitches and she doesn't fight to maintain any composure.

Mizu isn't exactly averse to sex. After losing mama and killing Mikio, Mizu just closed herself to the possibility of intimacy. She doesn't intend to romantically engage with anyone or be as intimate with anyone as revenge has become her priority. She now dismisses sex, considering it an act that is void of art or tact. Base. Something that decentres the spirit. Dare I say, she sees it as a facade after Mikio. An act that misguides the participants to consider their bond deeper than it really is. It is parallel to Akemi's first time, where both her and Taigen seem to be proccupied with other concerns, quickly distancing from each other after an act that most would consider to be a paramount of bonding between lovers.

Regardless, Mizu's resolutions haven't killed her intrigue for "peculiarities" as evident in her stint at Madam Kaji's where she (despite her dismissive facade) peers into the windows of pleasure, exploring sutras, bondage and threesomes. With the masculine avatar she's donned on her path of revenge, even if Mizu's resolve grows shaky, she's restricted by the complications that should arise if she goes down the path of any intimacy. Giving her more walls to break through and more walls for any potential lovers to break through as well to get to her tender breast.

In terms of general pleasure, Mizu is shown to be extemely physical and playful. She gets riled over armed combat, her face flush and full of love. To whoever she feels safe and happy with, she gives her all. Whether in bed or otherwise, she'll surrender her body and her sword. Aside from fighting, Mizu is passionate about different forms of art, especially sword making and other creative arts like music. You can call her... cutely nerdy (?) in the sense of her keen understanding of iron work, different fighting techniques, blade strikes, all of which she knows by heart. It can be imagined that a sure way to catch her whims would be to spark conversations about artistry in general.

Akemi, on the other hand, intends all her sexual overtures to have a fixed purpose. She's written as a character who prepares intensely for her ambitions. We see her revising a written speech before arguing her bit to her father, switching to appeasing to his fatherly side by playing the "naive daughter" to get him to agree with her and Taigen's engagement. In ep 4 we see her curating an impish, adulant image of an innocuous sex worker before making Mizu's acquaintance, intending to lower her guard enough to subdue her and bring her to Taigen. She finally goes on imbibe the perfect subservient, loving wife to finesse Takayoshi and thereby solidify her say among other exponents in the Shogun's family.

Her mind is like a self gearing machine in terms of playing pieces to give herself a fighting chance. Sex is a part of this rematch. With sex as a means, it's arguable if she genuinely feels pleasure in the process but she ensures that she's able to pleasure her partners to an end that serves her. With men, it's always about massaging their ego. With Taigen, Akemi initiates sex to be able to coax him into focusing on her and saving their engagement instead of letting him fixate on his recent loss of his hair and honour. In the brothel, she regales Watari, a man who's never won a fair fight, and has become impotent due to his weight, by appealing to his poetic side and using it to flatter him to ejaculation. With Takayoshi, a man subdued by his mother for his stutter and meek ways, Akemi admits to finding his speech impediment endearing, apologising profusely to resume her submissive position as his wife and proceeds to consummate their marriage while encouraging him to recite poetry.

Like Mizu, Akemi's curious about sex in itself and went against her teacher's wishes to explore erotic literature. She's well versed with sexually coloured poetry and easily weaves sex into conversation, using it to talk her partners to orgasm. She has a varied understanding of poetry, an art she uses as a weapon to flatter men, citing Shōtetsu, Minamoto no Shigeyuki and her favorite, Ono no Komachi. A waka poetess writing chiefly in matters of melancholy and passionate love. She's also skilled in all manner of art that are intrinsically ornate but are notorious for being feminine or are used to entertain men such as poetry, koto playing, dancing and calligraphy. An average man would deem such arts lowly but he doesn't consider that such arts can be used to easily lower his guard to his very vanquish without him ever doubting that there was even a ploy in the first place. Akemi wields these talents to her advantage. Sex and fine arts are only a few of the weapons in her arsenal.

Strangely enough, it's not exactly touched upon what Akemi actually finds desirable outside of what she must do to get her way. It can be guessed that she'd be disarmed by anyone who lasers through her simpering girly act, someone who can be valiant and honourable, someone who doesn't weigh virtue and strength through the prejudice of gender, someone who's able to value her in all her intricacies instead of pushing her to be a proper wife or improper whore.

Likewise, I can imagine Mizu wanting the same degree of acceptance. Someone who nurtures her feminine side without alienating her masculinity. Someone who doesn't demonise her appearance or consider her an anomalous product of two races. Her ideal type hasn't been detailed but her bar was really low. She didn't care about Mikio's age or social status or wealth. Akemi was also shown to having a narrow criteria for marriage, preferring Taigen solely because marrying him meant staying in Kyoto, near home. For both Taigen and Mikio, they benefitted from the unhinged cruelty other men could afford, appearing decent by comparison because they did the bare minimum of asking for consent.

It is still very nascent as to what Akemi and Mizu truly desire. Mainly because there hasn't been much room for individual desires. Akemi was already "past her prime" and evading marriage was no option as it was a decision sealed in stone by a girl's father the moment she hit puberty. For a time where women had little say in who they married, managing to get engaged to Taigen was a feat in itself. Her attempts to escape the arranged marriage with the Shogun's son was rendered fruitless by Taigen, Seki and in great part, Mizu. Akemi finally embraced her new married life, making peace with fighting within her means instead of trying to run away from them. This leaves a lot of room for what she'd eventually want for herself in the future. We know a part of her wished to leave with/without Taigen to live on a farm in Kokura but she's still too early in her journey of knowing exactly what she wants but she's constantly figuring things out.

Similarly, Mizu didn't have a say in her former marriage either but she was ready for the obligations it would impose on her, aware that she'd be compelled to conceal a part of her that men wouldn't welcome in their wives. Her masculine side that is capable of fighting like a samurai. Her sword of a soul. With her sworn revenge, aversion to all forms of intimacy and commitment to playing the part of a man, Mizu has become a vessel for all the ill will, prejudice and poor decisions men imposed on her. She doesn't have the liberty to bare herself and engage in fulfilling her desire as she's discovered to like it but the more characters she interacts with, we as audiences can observe seismic shifts in her perception of herself through the people she meets. These experiences serve as guiding lines for developing future desire. Of independent choice.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#23: The Portrait (1.03)

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Oh, this was such a beautiful and emotional scene. I adore it and it hits my heart every time 🥹💗. Right now Rick and Michonne differ because Rick's mission is to bring her home and Michonne’s mission is to bring them home. And as Michonne starts to feel weighed down by their current dilemma, she gets a lovely dose of restored hope when she meets the Civic Republic's portraitist - the very artist who played a major role in Michonne learning Rick was alive and who has helped both Rick and Michonne remember to keep believing along their journey...

So Michonne gets off a bus and her voice-over says, “Shoto, it’s Daito. Someone told me I had to know when to go.” I love that she's again talking to Judith and that she stays holding onto Nat’s words and memory.

And then we see her visiting that little outdoor market area similar to Rick at the top of the ep. And also similar to Rick, she looks behind her observing the place. I like how that parallel again affirms that these two Grimes really are cut from the same cloth. 

gif cred: @taiturner

Michonne says, “I had a chance to go home but I couldn’t do it without The Brave Man.” It’s sweet that she says she couldn’t do it. It shows how she felt like leaving him was simply not an option.

But then she vulnerably wonders, “Maybe I should have.” 😞 It's sad that she has to have that thought swirling in her head. I know she knows she had to stay and keep fighting to bring Rick home, but I think about how Michonne will later admit to beating herself up over being away from her kids too. I feel like this moment might be one of those times where she's beating herself up a bit and wrestling with whether going or staying is what's best for her family.

I also like how prominent the bullet shell is seen in her hair in this shot. That accessory just always reminds me that no matter how upset Rick and Michonne may get with each other, they’re always with each other.

And for me, the bullet shell also is a symbolic reminder that Rick is still that man who would sacrifice anything for his family - it's just right now he’s sacrificing the wrong things. And Michonne is also that woman who would sacrifice anything for her family and that’s why she’s still here despite the hurt.

As Michonne takes in the idyllic scene she shares, “Just when I wondered if he could have been drawn in by the ambition and the hope of this place, that it could’ve replaced us, I found something.”

First of all, I want to cry thinking Michonne even had to go a second thinking Rick might’ve replaced her and Judith with the hope of the Civic Republic. It makes me wish even more that she could read all his letters and know nothing was ever going to replace her and their baby girl. But I get why Michonne’s mind could go there briefly because she knows her Rick would never pull what Sergeant Major Grimes did and so she’s searching for what could have caused this new behavior. 

gif cred: @ex0rin

Michonne sees the portraiture booth and it’s interesting how the first drawing she sees is a woman holding a baby. I feel like this helps paint the picture that now, even if Rick and Michonne have some stuff to iron out between them, Michonne is still as determined as ever on this mission because she’s a mother. And this is as much about fighting for her kids as it is for Rick and herself.

Michonne walks right over to Benjiro’s Portraiture and Art and I’m reminded of how Michonne has always been drawn to art. As Benjiro works on a sketch he looks up at Michonne standing there and then looks down before peering back up, recognizing her.

Michonne knowingly says, “You’re the one who drew me.” And again I think even her just being straight up about that instead of trying to hide who she is shows that she’s over trying to conform in this place. It feels like she just needs somewhere where she can be her for a moment, and she gets to do that really nicely here. 😌

gif cred: @ex0rin

Benjiro smiles and says, “Yes, always you and the girl.” 😭 Y'all, how sweet is it that Rick had this artist drawing Michonne so much that Benjiro could recognize her right away?? 🥹

gif cred: @ex0rin

Benjiro let’s Michonne know, “He would come every few months and ask for a new one.” Which is so heartwarming. 🥰 Rick made sure to find someway to stay close to his girls.

And then, even knowing it’s coming, my eyes still well up when the artist says, “There was a boy he asked me to draw but I could never get it right for him.” Pain. 😞 And this line packs an even bigger punch after episode 4. 🥺

gif cred: @ex0rin

Michonne’s eyes get teary too as she smiles and says, “Carl. His name was Carl.” Ok crying endlessly. 😭 I adore that this is how Carl first gets brought up in TOWL and that he's still so pivotal to Richonne.

The way Michonne says his name is so tender. She loves that boy so much. Also, I love thinking about how now Michonne has a baby that’s related to Carl. Like Carl and Michonne are family in every way. 🥹

gif cred: @ex0rin

And learning Rick routinely got sketches of his girls and was trying to get pictures of Carl but his fading memory made Rick struggle to get the image right - My heart can't even take it. 😥

Like truly thinking about what that looks like is devastating. I can picture Rick every few months describing Michonne and Judith in new ways and his eyes lighting up a bit when he sees the finished product. And then Rick being nice when Benjiro doesn’t quite get Carl right even though it’s crushing him inside to know he can’t remember his own son clearly.

But also I like to think that Rick knowing the images weren’t fully capturing Carl goes to show that he does still hold his memory. He may not know how to get the image right - but he at least still knows when the image isn’t right.

Benjiro says, “You’re more open. Took three years before he’d say names.” Aw Rick really was out here describing the details of his wife and daughter without even wanting to reveal their names. 🥲 You know for those first three years Benjiro only knew Michonne as ‘my wife’ from Rick. I would have sobbed if we saw a scene of Rick when he first probably shyly described them because he still wants to keep his life outside a secret but also needs a piece of his girls with him. 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

Benjiro says, “You’re Michonne and the girl is Judith” and the way Michonne’s eyes light up and get teary as she smiles hearing her and her daughter's name. So precious. 🥲 She’s so far away from home and has been for a long while so I feel like just some moment to get to be herself and talk about Judith is refreshing.

Plus, the timing of this encounter is perfect because Michonne was on the brink of wondering if Rick had replaced the two of them but seeing this stranger already know about her gives her a clear sign that Rick still clung as tight as he could to her and their daughter.

gif cred: @nat111love

Benjiro asks, “Is she here?” And Michonne subtly shakes her head. I know she wants so badly to be together with Judith, and RJ again. Benjiro thinks Judith not being here might mean something more tragic so he says, “Sorry.” But then I love the way Michonne says with certainty, “She’s okay.” It’s the only scenario she’ll entertain. One where her daughter is not just alive but alive and well. 

gif cred: @nat111love

I found this portraiture scene just so moving and well done for many reasons but especially because the following exchange gives Michonne a lot of insight into Rick’s trajectory in the CRM and how he went from hopeful to hopeless.

Benjiro says, “He said he wanted the drawings for until he saw you again” I adore that even when he was still so determined and convinced he’d see Michonne and Judith again, Rick still wanted drawings in the meantime. 🥹

Michonne looks up hearing this and then Benjiro says, “Here you are. He knew he’d see you. He knew it.” And ok I’m legit writing this with tears because at this moment Michonne is getting to hear about her Rick. 😭 A lot has happened since, but the man Benjiro is describing - that’s Michonne’s Rick who loves her more than life itself and she knows it.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I love that even with words, Benjiro is painting a portrait of who Rick was while he was stuck here in the CRM. Still that determined family man.

And then I’m crushed when Benjiro says, “He stopped talking like that '' Y’all, this scene is just a dagger - a well-written, well-acted, well-scored, perfectly-placed-in-the-episode dagger. 👏🏽🥲🔪 Because again Michonne gets to hear about both Rick’s hope and the process of losing that hope.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Benjiro says, “I told him…” and Michonne so sincerely says, “I know what you told him. Thank you. It helped me.” And I love that she thanks him for the way his words helped her too. Instant Benjiro fan knowing he helped both my babies during tough times with his encouraging phrase. 😊👌🏽

gif cred: @riickgrimes

As Michonne softly touches some of the phones, including one that is very Gimple-esque, Benjiro says, “He found you.” And then Michonne just kills me when she whispers with tears in her eyes, “Now I’m looking for him.” 🫠😭

And her saying this is so powerful. Because it shows the search for Rick continues. She found the man in the woods but she still has a journey to embark on to find her man.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Once again, Danai’s delivery was perfect. 🙌🏽 It’s also just sad because Michonne knows the Rick she’s seeing now is not the one she knows but in saying this to Benjiro it shows she’s going to keep searching for him. Searching for the Rick that Benjiro described at the top of the scene who knew he’d be with his girls again.

And as Michonne holds back tears with a smile, Benjiro again tells her to "Believe a little bit longer" and it’s just a beautiful end to a beautiful scene as Michonne lets those words sink in and nods with an emotional smile.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Never have I wanted to give her a hug more than right here. 🥺

gif cred: @riickgrimes

She’s gone through so much and still has to keep believing that this is not in vain, and I know she’s got to be tired and even feeling alone right now. But she’s resilient like no other so, of course, she’s going to keep fighting and believing, even if it means a bit more marital fighting with Sergeant Major Grimes. 🙂

I really appreciated getting to see Michonne just get to be her in this special scene and have this emotional moment reflecting on her family members - Carl, Judith, and the Rick she once knew - while also being fueled to keep going for the living family she has now - Judith, RJ, and the Rick buried underneath all the CRM armor. 🥲👌🏽

[whenmemorydies]

Preliminary thoughts on The Bear, race, power and privilege

I’m a non-Black woman of colour who has spent all of my life in the west…so I’ve consumed a lot of television media that is produced by and for the white gaze. The most obvious way that gaze plays out is when people of colour are non-existent in a cast, or when they are included, are tokenistic, bit players.

A more insidious manifestation is where POC are cast to play parts that could just as easily be played by white folks: characters that have no interiority or external relationships related to their cultural identities, wider communities or individual or collective histories (for example, Mindy in The Mindy Project for most of its run, or the characters of colour in Season 1 of Bridgerton).

I've had some thoughts about how The Bear (thankfully) avoids tokenistic and "colour-blind" representation. I also have some thoughts about how the show models meaningful allyship. I'm so keen to discuss this with folks and hear what others think about it too.

Unambiguous and unapologetic

The Bear is confined in its universe, particularly in season 1 where it’s focus is tightly bound to the physical location of The Beef as the setting for almost every scene. Episodes of The Bear are generally not very long, so time is precious (every second really does count). These factors necessarily limit how deep we can get into each character. But the show is so good at drawing on different means of communication: images, lighting, score, soundtrack, phrasing, callbacks to previous episodes, other cultural references etc, that each episode is like a jewellery box with gems waiting to be unpacked and pored over. I've said that I have started reading this show like a tarot deck because of how rich the symbolism in each episode is.

So despite the constraints of time and setting, characters of colour in this show are also so very rich in their realisation and portrayal. These characters are unambiguously and - this is important - unapologetically racialised: through language (see: Tina’s use - and occasional weaponisation lmao - of Spanish), physical appearance (see: Sydney’s two-tone braids and her stunning, prolific collection of headscarves throughout the show), culturally distinct names (see: Sydney Adamu, Ebraheim, Tina Marrero, etc), food (see: Carmy’s peace offering to Syd in ep 1x03 of Ebra’s family chicken suqaar - a popular dish in the latter character’s birth country of Somalia), etc.

GIF by @chefkids

These may seem like small and inconsequential details to some. In fact I’ve been seeing a lot of commentary from folks online saying that what they like about The Bear is that race isn’t mentioned at all on the show. But make no mistake: race is all over this thing. The examples I've given are only some of the many references to racialised histories and cultures that build out the broader fabric of multicultural Chicago here.

What is not present in The Bear is a script that is wasting time explaining the characters of colour and their rich inner and outer lives to white folks. Those things are just a given and we are invited to witness them being brought to vivid life by this cast and crew. And I am fucking here for it.

Respect and allyship

Another thing I LOVE about this show is the respect given to, and the recognition of, the experience, talent, drive and ambition of its characters of colour.

This is most obvious in the relationship between Syd and Carmy who are signalled as complementary equals in many ways. Others have written on the importance of the representation embodied by Sydney’s character and you should search out that analyses, especially when its authored by Black women. The only other thing I’d say about it is that I love Sydney’s character and I also love endgame Sydcarmy (even if it’s only hinted at in the last second of the last frame of the last ever episode lmao…I will take whatever I can get of these two 😭).

I also see the show’s respect and recognition manifest in The Bear's investment in its staff, particularly in season 2. Everyone who worked at The Beef has a role at The Bear and Carmy, Syd and Nat fund the ongoing training and upskilling of their largely racialised staff to make sure this happens. Ebra and Tina are paid to attend culinary school (Carmy also gives Tina his prized knife for her studies and beyond). Marcus is sent to stage in Copenhagen to develop his skills as a patissier. And then we have The Bear itself - what started as Carmy and Michael’s vision, is now the whole team’s baby, with Sydney literally being made the captain of the ship by Carmy at the end of ep 2x09.

GIF by @savagegood

Part of what was so tragic about Carmy's fridge spiral at the end of season 2 was that he didn't get to see how beautifully the team came through in a crisis. Instead we had him internalising, regressing and lamenting how he had let everyone down. This language centred Carmy as the be all and end all of The Bear (saviour vibes) when this couldn't have been further from the truth (particularly in a season where the man spent so much of his time not in the restaurant but chasing manic pixie no-last-name-having Claire....but I digress).

Carmy is his best when he checks his ego, takes a step back and realises that he is not alone. He is part of a whole chosen family supporting one another at The Bear. And I get the sense that the folks creating this show know that we need more white folks using their power and privilege to step back and facilitate access, and less gatekeeping white saviours taking credit where its not due.

After all, and paraphrasing Viola Davis, the only thing that separates people of colour from anyone else, is opportunity.

12/04/24 Note: I’ve amended this post because I forgot to mention the most pivotal example of Sydney along with her relationship with Carmy. Also made some slight stylistic changes to phrasing cos i fixate on errors lol

[dangermousie]

Loved the Hou x FFYY plot being all uncovered (and the fact that Jing didn't even need an explanation from XY - she tried and he was all 'I trust you, no need') and of course the man got off lighter. I loved FFYY learning she wasted her life on a psycho tho how she wasn't clued in that a man who tortured his brother to near death and insanity for years is probably not dreamboat material is beyond me.

Also, I love how he physically takes care of her in such practical, constant, little ways. AWWW

And her reaction on getting confirmation he's never had anything with FFYY.

I also love that when he asked for another chance, he first promised to not let anyone else or himself hurt her. AAAA!

In those eps we can see little glimpses of how easily happy they can be if the world lets them be.

I mean, even grandpa likes him:

Because he gets that it's Jing who can offer XY what she wants - a simple easy life of cottagecore and no great deeds. I mean, we see later them play chess and TSJ the chess genius just does not concentrate because he's busy making eyes at his girl - and grandpa likes it. Because chess is all ambition and war and Jing just doesn't care. He's got the brains for it and no drive. I am in love with the concept of the best love interest being the one with no cause, no ambition, no destiny. Just an offer of peace and normalcy and mundane moments - because clearly that is all XY wants.

And it reaches its peak when she opens a clinic and he gives her the sign he drew and there are firecrackers and the most amazingly peaceful yuppie life imaginable - as the servant says about them, she will treat people and Jing will collect the money. One of the reasons I really love LYF is that it gets that people love and want different things in life. The default epic/fantasy narrative is people with causes and destinies and quests and kingdoms to conquer and wrongs to avenge. But our protagonist wants only to escape the narrative - she does not want to be in an epic fantasy or a doomed romance - no Game of Thrones OR Throne of Glass is her desire - she wants to live in a xianxia version of PG Wodehouse's Blandings, where the biggest concerns are whose pig will win at the annual fair. And that is one of the reasons only Jing can be a truly happy endgame for her - only with him will her life resemble her ideal vision - neither of the other two men are capable of providing her with cottagecore (and GX is gegezoned also but...)

This is her dream life.

Btw, this will never not be funny. Look how smugly she's telling this about her dad to TSJ.

[beanghostprincess]

I wanna know who your favorite vinsmoke sibling is so bad actually please tell me 👀✨

My friend and my brother laughed at me when I told them my favorite Vinsmoke is Niji, and I genuinely was embarrassed that day because I didn't really know much about him at the time (I think I had only watched a few eps of WCI) and it's pretty clear in the show that he's, uh, the worst of the Vinsmokes. And by "the worst" I mean: The one who's portrayed as the worst because he's the most active one when it comes to abuse and supremacism within the family line. Unlike Ichiji (who's more serious) and Yonji (who's more playful, somehow) Niji is the one who has to actually fight for a role in his family and that's why I think he's so fucking annoying all the damn time. I hate him. I love him. I want to hug him. But also I wouldn't mind punching him very, very hard. I have mixed feelings, but yeah, Niji is my favorite Vinsmoke. And you haven't asked why, but I feel the need to do some sort of mini argument about this because I am a very resentful person and I want to show my friend and my brother that Niji is actually a very interesting character!! And my fiancé thinks I just like him because he's hot, and she's right but only like a 20%. Maybe 40%.

I will try to put my thoughts into words, but it's pretty difficult because I have a lot of things to say about this blue evil gremlin.

I like Niji the most because I think he is, between the three brothers, the one who shows feelings and ambitions outside their emotionless selves the most. I know they technically are the same, but I don't think so (btw, please assume I'm not including Reiju in this text because she's canonically different from them and I'm just referring to the brothers).

As I mentioned before, I think Niji is the one brother who is the most annoying and evil because he feels the need to stand out. Ichiji is serious, and calculative and has a secure place in the family. He is the number one, even if Reiju is the oldest (I would like to talk more about how Reiju, being a woman, even if she's the oldest, she's the number 0. Because she is the oldest but she's a woman, so she obviously doesn't and would not be able to wear the number 1 like a man would. She is the oldest and yet, she has less significance in the family line than Ichiji. But, yeah, this is something that has nothing to do with Niji, sorry). Ichiji, like all of his siblings, wants recognition from his father, but he doesn't have to try as hard as the others to be impressive because he is, after all, the oldest. The typical "older sibling in an abusive household who has to deal with all the bullshit to protect their siblings"? That's something Reiju took over. That's Reiju's responsibility as the oldest and the woman. Ichiji literally doesn't have to do anything besides leading the team and being the evil, emotionless machine his father created. That does not mean that I don't think he could be able to develop more feelings, because I think he could and I love the concept of him being the first one to protest against Judge's behavior, but you get me. When you're the oldest brother with an even older sister, your responsibilities are pretty limited. So he doesn't have to be anything but there and himself.

Yonji, on the other hand... He is the youngest. Even younger than Sanji. He doesn't have to try, because Niji and Sanji should be the ones to do so. Little siblings are not expected to do much besides existing because irl parents are usually tired of raising children and they end up either getting neglected or seen as decoration. As a little sibling myself I can confirm that these things affect really badly to your brain growing up, but I got a more Sanji treatment so I can't speak for Yonji here. The thing I can say, though, is that in comparison to Niji, Yonji is just there. He's silly and goofy. He's funny. He's dumb. He has the excuse of being the little one to act that way. Getting lost eating or doing whatever. Even the fact that his powers are more physically focused instead of power/intelligence centered shows that he can just punch away his issues. He's the gym bro of the siblings. Don't expect much from him. <- Thing that's often said about little siblings, btw, and affects real fucking badly in early teenage years. The fact that he's portrayed like that is so on point tbh but after all, they don't have high expectations for him, so little to no effort is everything he does.

Then there's Niji, of course. My favorite. Love him. Hate him. Whatever. Niji is the middle child. And God, do I have to say things about middle siblings.

The thing about Niji is that he actually has to try and make a name for himself in the family because otherwise he'll probably get forgotten. I often wonder if he had that fear of becoming the next Sanji once he "died" (he's the only one genuinely asking if Sanji died on them before Yonji and Ichiji say they don't care) because his role is not as noticeable as the others. Reiju is the woman, Ichiji is the successor, Sanji is the weakling getting bullied (being technically one of the little siblings but still being in a limbo of middle/youngest because the little one is Yonji), and Yonji is the little one. Then... What's Niji?

Niji needs Sanji way more than he's willing to admit, and I love that. I absolutely love how he's written because he constantly shows that he needs Sanji, through both words and actions. He needs him because without Sanji's existence -without Niji being his bully- Niji is nothing but number 2. And there's nothing more frustrating than being the number two when it comes to family hierarchy. Not going to mention every little thing he does, but as I said, I love how well-written he is. He's the sibling Oda uses the most to show the abuse Sanji went through, but that's only because Niji is the only one who needs to do that. Niji is the one to talk to Sanji first, all the damn time. He gets angry when Sanji doesn't respond. He gets angry because Sanji can't be bullied anymore. He gets angry out of fear, in my opinion, because if the weakling can't get abused anymore, then he's not worth anything. If Sanji isn't the third, the second one is left alone. 2 can't fight 1 because 1 has the protection of starting the line. And 2 can't fight 4 because there's a missing link that keeps 2 from 4. So Niji is mad at Sanji because Sanji isn't the same weak crybaby he used to be, and he can't use him anymore to be secure and safe.

That's fucking horrifying when it comes to family hierarchy.

I like Niji because, despite being an asshole, he has reasons to be like that. First of all, because his father literally made him this way. But also, the little feelings he has (selfish emotions, yes, evil. But they're feelings, anyway. Urges. He's supposed to be emotionless and yet he knows how Sanji feels enough to use that to his advantage) are used as a way to feel superior and safe because he feels inferior. I think he's the one showing more emotions out of the three, even if those emotions aren't healthy or good and it's just him being angry all the time. That means that if he has urges and needs like that, even if he doesn't fear his own death, he could end up developing more and more empathy. His type of empathy comes from a place of fear. He feels what Sanji feels. And it's not that he doesn't care (I mean, I am aware that he technically doesn't, but let me dream) but it's just convenient for him not to care and keep bullying him to secure his place in the family.

Also pointing out that I like Niji because, being the one who says he hates Sanji the most, he's the one to protect him with his own body when that scene of the siblings helping Sanji escape happens. The others only clear the way, Niji stays with him. There's a really cool post about this on Niji's tag somewhere!!! I personally think he does this because, as that post said: Niji keeps seeing Sanji as weak, instead of believing in him enough to just clear the way. He protects him because he thinks he can't protect himself. Because he's weak.

And yes, it might sound offensive and emotionless and it doesn't make Niji a better person. But it makes him an older brother. Believing in Sanji would be great, but thinking that he's weak and needs protection after years of projecting on him only shows that the weak one is Niji. That he wants and is willing to protect his brother, too. If he didn't care about his well-being he would've just cleared the way for him, not caring about what could've happened to Sanji. But he goes all the way to help him out and protect him longer than the others did. Idk. I find that a very beautiful way of ending their relationship.

All of this being said, I have to be honest with you: When I said I liked Niji for the first time I only did it because people around me kept saying he was the worst one and it bothered me because I found his design pretty fucking cool. And tbh when he started being an actual character? I loved him even more. Because during WCI he's a fucking asshole but the way he acts towards Sanji is wanting to get a response from him, and I just find that so curious and complex... Like, if he just wanted to be evil he'd be more the Doflamingo type. But Niji looks for a response in Sanji's eyes. He wants to feel powerful because he knows he isn't.

And also, well, he's very cute and I like his hair a lot and he makes me furious sometimes which is great because if a character doesn't make you want to punch him at one point, is he really a good character? Look at him! He deserves to get slapped in the face. But also, I would love to kiss him afterward. What's that Olivia Rodrigo lyric? Ah, yes: "I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up. Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut." That's how I feel about him.

I really hope it's obvious, with all of this, that "Succession" is one of my favorite TV Shows, because I could go on and on and on (and nobody would listen but idc) about how the Vinsmokes are just the Roy family. Both One Piece and Succession deal with family in which hierarchy is crucial in a very specific and accurate way. It makes me sick. I love it.

Anyway, have some pics of my blue idiot:

I want to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.

[simbouquet]

TS3: Nicer Vendors + Ask Animation Edits

This is a combo of two quick and dirty mods I made last summer to solve some animation-related annoyances I had for a while. 💬

Nicer Vendors

Ever since I started playing TS3, I was confused by the animations used for the Buy Items interaction on registers; it uses the same animations as the "Neutral" outcome of the Ask interactions, where the Sims have vaguely negative reactions to the interaction being performed.

I created a script mod that simply replaces all of the Buy interactions I could find and points them to the "Friendly" state, which contains the more positive animations between the two Sims.

It should work on all registers across all EPs, including objects like the Seasons concessions stand, as well as certain Sims such as the special merchant from World Adventures and the tattoo artist from Ambitions. Let me know if I've missed something!

Ask Animation Edits

This is a jazz script replacement for the Ask animations. It adds more variety to the animations used both for the initiating Sim and the target Sim in the Friendly and Neutral states, so the positive and negative reactions are a little different every time.

The extra animations are generally shorter than the vanilla ones, so Sims actually spend less time performing these socials, which is always a good thing in my book because asking another person what they do for work shouldn’t take as long as it does in this game.

You may still see the vanilla animations happening from time to time, although they will be less likely.

Compatibility

This mod is incompatible with NRaas Consigner.

Ask Anim Edits will conflict with any other mod that replaces the social_askfor jazz script in JazzData.

Download: SFS / MTS

Place the .package file in your Packages or Overrides folder.

Credits & Thanks

Battery’s Script Mod Template Creator: Getting started with scripting quickly.

nraas: I used their Tunings code in my own script, which helped me inject the tuning of one interaction into another.

dnSpy: Peeking into the game’s files.

Visual Studio 2022: Writing the script.

s3pe: Exporting/Importing resources, creating the package file.

Adobe Photoshop: Creating the preview image.

Thanks to @thesweetsimmer111 for helping me work out some issues with the jazz script!

Thanks to gamefreak130 for helping me replace some of the interactions!

Thanks to the lovely community at TS3 Creators Cave!

A Sim walked up to a concessions stand and he said to the man running the stand...!

[vongulli]

HELLO ONE PIECE WATCHER are u obsessed yet

YAYA ITS SO AWESOME GAHH IM SO INVESTED 😭!!!! i actually just caught up in the manga to where i am in the anime!! (on ep 81, and on chapter 134!!!) i've shed lots of tears, laughed, and had my heart touched many times since starting it- i'm totally in love!!! I even cried at the same places i did while watching it when reading manga, ahaha!!!

the characters, the world, the designs, the dreams and ambitions everyone has is SOOOSOSO fun and like, inspiring.. just so good-feeling, i'll even wake up and be like "man, can't wait to watch/read one piece today"

the friendships/bonds created between everyone feels like, so strong- its really beautiful! I love how much fun the fights are, and i really adore the small moments between everyone (like when sanji brings out foods/drinks and everyone kinda just, chills and eats?? the food component of things feels so important too, I love seeing what they eat, idk why haha!!!)

i feel like other shows i love don't have enough time to just see everyone hanging out... it makes me so happy, im really thankful for those moments

also i would take a bullet for any of the strawhats in miliseconds!!! an instant!!!! anything for them!!

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

Show alisaint and Rhaenyra sucks. Glad that people finally understand that

I see people compare them both to cercei and please don’t do my girl cercei dirty like that she would destroy both of them. If Rhaenyra or alicent in the show were anything like cercei the dance would be over in a day.

Show!Rhaenyra has been passive since the time jump. In the book she feeds vaemond’s corpse to her dragon when he dares to insult her sons, in the show she literally stands there 😶🥹 and daemon’s the one to defend her kids. The fact that she just allowed this man to insult her kids and herself like that in front of the entire court book Rhaenyra would neverrrr

Also seems like she genuinely doesn’t even want the throne (daemon even tells it to alys) she has 0 political ambitions so at this point just give it to the greens lmao what’s the point??? She doesn’t even want to be queen apparently because woman in Ryan’s fanfic can’t have ambition

And apparently she resents daemon after asking him to marry her because she needed him girlllll

And alisaint’s no better. I loved alicent in the book she slayed. Loved her kids and didn’t give a fuck about any of TB. Girl was ambitious af and I respect that. Alicent beefing with kid Rhaenyra is hilarious girl knew what she wanted from day 1. She’s like a more evolved margaery tyrell. Also making viserys only care about Rhaenyra is stupid. Alicent had a lot of power in the book because she was loved by viserys. Having viserys only love Rhaenyra and her just choosing for some reason to not intervene when Otto is named hand again in ep 7 and stay away from kl make her look stupid. In the book alicent had a lot of influence over viserys and the story works a lot better that way

Where’s the woman that fed a man to her dragon? Where’s the woman who said “I will have my crown or his head?” Where’s the woman that wished Rhaenyra died in childbirth and wanted to bathe in the blood of b&c ???? Alicent and Rhaenyra are part of a book called “dangerous women” and I have to laugh at how the show has completely ruined them.

It's benevolent misogyny.

And both GOT and HotD have this view that the ones who don't want it are the ones who should have it. That's not true, and ambition is not a dirty word.

[bugboybuck]

do you have any wishes for any buck-centric storylines next season? I feel in desperate need of some proper buck whump, coz it feels like it’s been FOREVER. Like, I think the lightning was supposed to be that, but it kind of felt like it was as much about everyone else as it was buck, and then the whump that should’ve followed it never really turned into anything before being dropped for… Natalia?? I just need to see Buck terribly sad and/or injured next season and maybe that makes me evil, but I don’t care. Season four was so long ago! MAKE THAT MAN SAD 2025!!!

ohhhhh my god SO many wishes !!

the lightning strike was Such once-in-a-lifetime (literally lmao) whump potential and i def feel they didn't follow through after it tbh?? i loved the coma ep and the actual lightning plot, but then they turned it into a healing moment for his parents that didn't feel earned and then just wrapped it up in a plot w natalia that went nowhere, i didn't feel they actually capitalised on it?? i don't want buck to get hurt in a way that will take him out of the 118 for any length of time next season bc i do feel there will be a Lot of shenanigans with the team make-up, but i would definitely love to see what'd happen if he got hurt next season and had tommy to worry about him/have the team noticing how different it is now he's got tommy. like maddie trying to organise another look-after-buck rota like she did after the lightning but every time someone turns up tommy's already there and they're like maddie i don't think this is needed?? his big strong boyfriend is waiting on him hand and foot???

i'd obviously love to see more of him exploring life as a queer man, too!!! i think hoping for a pride ep is too much to ask for, altho something like the team responding to a regular call during pride (nothing majorly disastrous but like someone broke their ankle at a drag show or something trying to do a death drop lmao) and buck excitedly announcing to everyone that he'd be there if he wasn't on the clock!! bc he's bi!!! and just connecting wiht other queer ppl in any way really. in my dreams we get some kind of full plot related to him becoming more out-and-proud and figuring out what that means for him — i think this could work super well with a plot with hen where they do something like protest some anti-lgbtq policy within the department, or run an event for lgbtq firefighters or something. like u CANNOT tell me clipboard!buck wouldn't be alllll over becoming event-coordinator for the lgbtqia+ firefighter society or something lmaoo.

honestly there's SO MUCH i'd rlly love them to explore tho. other figures from his varied past before firefighting turning up! more nuanced exploration of his relationship w his parents that isn't just 'this is all fixed now bc they decided to care age 30 so i'm fine'. career stuff — i don't pretend to know how the lafd works but i hear there's some kind of leiutenant thing u can become that's a step above regular firefighter and he'd CRUSH that and we know he has the ambition of someday being a captain. him deciding to take steps towards that, or training in some kind of specific rescue technique, getting more uber-competent moments where he gets to run a scene on his own.

oh and i want an episode where him and tommy to run a rescue together and them both to be wildly attracted to how good their bf is at his job and then make out against a fire truck at the end

[bengiyo]

At 25:00 in Akasaka Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, they did fuck despite my hopes that they would. However, they are on a romance track that is really working for me. I like Hayama a lot, and I like how he's easing Shirasaki into being more comfortable with him by being genuine in his support and affection. I like Shirasaki and the way he's struggling with his inferiority complex and ambition. I hate the supporting actor who keeps negging Shirasaki. We also had an aquarium date! A win for the gays.

I like that we're seeing an actor struggle to build the emotions in a key scene.

If I am correct, this show is 10 episodes. I like that they're struggling with a scene at the midpoint of their show when we're not close to ours.

The stairs shot is great. He's still got a long way to go.

Yes, Hayama, please fix it with curry.

Nice job playing off this hair drying trope as a nostalgic favor.

I love this man. He said, "Nice bed. We should use it."

I do appreciate that they're letting us see the BL in the show.

Shirasaki is as harsh about his performance as we can be sometimes. Oof.

Back-to-back shows with cuddling. A win for me.

Hayama is so kind about how he's gone about

Wow, I love seeing actors act. That was great.

This show is really giving me the actors acting content I was hoping for. Hayama is doing a lot with a little. I am really enjoying the way he's building this relationship with Shirasaki. Also appreciate that we're seeing the tight schedules for all these projects. They're midway through the episodes and already the show is on air.

[clairedaring]

Jom giving Khun Yai advices about the future - A scene from EP. 10 of I Feel You Linger In The Air

If you asked me my top 5 all-time favorite scenes from IFYLITA, I think this scene where Jom was scratching Yai's back while casually giving him advices about the future would definitely be in the top 5 (and at certain times I think I like this scene most.

One of the biggest grievances/qualms IFYLITA novel readers may have with the adaptation is probably series!Jom isn't as self-aware that he is an architect from the 21st century as book!Jom who was definitely depicted to be a little more sassy and constantly reminding himself that he's an architecture who has modern skills that can definitely be put to good use.

But this scene in EP. 10 of IFYLITA, corresponding with Chapter 11: Return Love to The Wind of the novel, is one of the brilliant moments where book!Jom completely comes to life through the portrayal of Nonkul Chanon.

Rather than dissecting the scene step by step, I've quoted this particular excerpt from the novel, paired with the gifset I made of the scene from ep.10.

Worried by the thought, I ask out a question. "Khun–Yai, since your family moved from Bangkok, it means the Luang has houses and properties in the province, doesn't he?"

"The province?" Khun–Yai turns his head.

I slap my mouth once in aggravation. Bangkok in this era is probably referred to as the Bangkok Region and the Capital. "Sorry. It was a mistake. What I mean is, did your family move from the Capital?"

Khun–Yai eyes me with mild suspicion but still answers, "Yes. My father owns plenty of lands in the Capital. My mother also has hundreds of lands in Thonburi and Nakhon Pathom. My grandfather transferred the ownership of the properties to her before she was born. Why do you ask?"

Oh…So, his parents have always been well–off. I take a deep breath and speak in all seriousness.

"Keep the lands safe. If not necessary, don't ever sell them. The prices of lands in Thonburi will be higher than gold in a short time. Capitalize the farms and paddy fields. If you don't gain much profit from renting them out, take care of them yourself. Hire workers and manage your own lands. As for the properties in the Capital, I hope you protect them with your life. Build residences or row houses for rent and collect the monthly rental fees. You will make more money than the salary of a civil servant."

I have thought it out with ambition. No matter what, I will not let Khun–Yai become a nobleman turning poor. He must have a business with a stably monthly income, not only a salary from any title. The row houses and everything will be designed in advance by me. I will do it for free, not charging a single coin. I am so engrossed in my plan that I don't notice Khun–Yai turning around and smiling.

"Do you know what you sound like?"

Seeing his weird, playful gaze, I ask right away, "What do I sound like?"

"You sound like a wife concerned about her husband's possessions, worried about how to gain profit from them," he stresses every word loud and clear.

"Khun–Yai!!!" I exclaim in shock, eyes widening.

"Yeah…?" Uggggggh. "Don't speak in such a sweet voice." My head hurts as if I have a migraine, but a contented grin paints Khun–Yai's face. "Please don't say that. It's inappropriate. Besides, I'm a man. I can't be a wife."

Bonus excerpt: "What is appropriate, then? Should I ask for your parents' blessings to have their son manage my possessions for the rest of my life?" "Khun–Yai, I'm begging you. Don't joke like this. I'm going to have a heart attack." My heart is fragile. "Please turn around so I can scratch your back." Seeing my serious expression, he relents and turns around, not forgetting to throw one last playfully flirtatious glance at me. I inhale and claw his back in annoyance. "Ohh…Poh–Jom, if you scratch that harshly, my back will break," Khun–Yai groans.

Note: Before the quoted excerpt, there's also an extensive part where Jom pondered on the consequences of WW2 and its effects on Thailand's civil servants or high-rank authorities and how he could helped Khun Yai. You can read the full novel here.

i just really like that although series!jom is a bit more clueless and deer-in-the-headlights than novel!jom, the series is still very careful with their adaptation and brought this scene to life where jom uses his 21th century knowledge to help take care of khun yai (ALSO MY BABY). like i just find this entire yaijom scene (that was cut from the TV version, outrageous) so damn cute and it's been months after the show has ended but my mind is still lingering in this scene.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Kevin R. Wright’s MCU timeline has come to a close. The Loki executive producer and now-former VP of production and development at Marvel Studios has exited his position to produce original film and TV projects, independently. Wright was one of the central creative figures behind the Tom Hiddleston-led Loki, which is widely considered to be the crown jewel of Marvel Studios’ Disney+ slate. On top of six Emmy nominations, the time-bending sci-fi series is the first-and-only MCU live-action series to receive a second season thus far.

In 2018, when Disney CEO Bob Iger pivoted to streaming with Disney+, he asked his most successful studio, led by Kevin Feige, to expand its shared universe into television. So Wright took the initiative with regard to a potential series about the God of Mischief, crafting a 30-page pitch that included many of the future show’s foundational elements, including the Time Variance Authority. The TVA — which is the bureaucratic agency that once preserved the MCU’s “sacred timeline” and now oversees its branched multiverse — proved to be so popular that the entity is soon transitioning to the big screen by way of July’s highly anticipated Deadpool & Wolverine. 

Before writers, such as series creator Michael Waldron, and directors were hired to bring Loki to life, Wright was also responsible for presenting his initial ideas and possibilities to Hiddleston, who, at that time, was content with his existing character arc that originated all the way back in Thor (2011). The Marvel executive even laid the groundwork for the series’ Emmy-nominated production design, having made a strong case to Marvel brass for immersive 360 sets. Besides finishing on time and under budget, Loki season two was also one of the first, if not the first, Marvel Studios projects to not require any additional photography.

In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, Wright expresses his gratitude to Marvel and Disney, before expanding on the reasoning for his departure after nearly ten years with the studio.

“I am incredibly proud of my contributions to the MCU and thankful for my time at Marvel Studios and The Walt Disney Company,” said Wright. “The industry has changed dramatically during my near decade with the company, and I can no longer ignore my desire to independently produce original films and television. I extend my love and gratitude to everyone at Marvel Studios.”

Shortly before 9/11, the Philadelphia native delayed his film school ambition to enlist in the U.S. Marine Corps, and he served as a combat correspondent for four years. Upon completing his service, he majored in writing for film and television at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts, before graduating as valedictorian. Wright then moved to Los Angeles and interned for a couple years, until a chance meeting and opportunity with Marvel Studios materialized at a time when he was considering abandoning his pursuit. He then steadily climbed the ranks, beginning as a development assistant and then the production and development manager on Doctor Strange (2016). That led to an associate producer position on Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018), which put him on a trajectory toward becoming a full-fledged producer on Loki and VP of Production and Development.

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

it’s never too late by steppenwolf (aka the song from the end of 13x5) is thee dean winchester song. let me elaborate.

(i haven’t seen any posts about this so if there are any i would love to know about it bc i am passionate about this.)

firstly, i could pick that entire scene apart with how it relates to dean and what he’s going through as well as all the symbolism—the mother losing her child, billie in death’s library, the shots of the impala, the neon signs in shot when they finally drive up to cas—but honestly i would never run out of things to say about it.

the overarching themes of both that scene and this song are regret and guilt and wishing you could go back and do things, treat people, differently, and so putting them together in that way is perfect. more specifically, the song is about a man who had all these ambitions, mostly because of pressure from his parents, but finds himself grown up having achieved none of them and because of that, it starts to affect the people around him. sound familiar?

especially right now, dean is suffering so much loss, and (somewhat inadvertently) is taking it out on sam and jack, both his kids in a way (on your woman and your child / you release your bitterness). all he wants is his family back (i.e. mary and cas) but since there’s nothing he can do to go back and fix what took them away from him, he has a lot of trouble seeing the point in going on.

although you’re trained to make your mark / you still don’t quite know what to do

yeah. he’s lived like that for a while, but he’s especially feeling it now. his reaction to billie telling him he still has work to do was not exactly enthusiastic.

as he says to sam in this ep, he’s taken every previous loss in stride and just kept going, kept working, and (in some ways) kept starting over despite it all. but he might not be able to do it anymore. we’re seeing him at his lowest, all he wants is to die, but he’s finally let sam in, even if neither of them are sure where to go from here. and what happens next? his phone rings, and his best friend is on the other end.

we all know there’s a stark difference in dean from one episode to the next (13x6 is tombstone), and why is that? dean got the win he needed. he got cas back, and he’s no longer just watching time slip by until his death. a reason to live just walked back into his life. he’s learning that, maybe, it really is never too late.

this happens a lot for dean, specifically with losing cas, where it feels like he’s finally lost for good this time, but he’s always managed to get cas back or to find some way to keep going.

another line i find very fitting for dean is in the second verse:

the god of your childhood you can’t find / to save you from your emptiness

obviously, this could be about chuck and how unreliable he is, especially when dean (and sam) needs him most, which we saw most recently at the end of 13x1. (“the god of your childhood” could also be the samulet, but thats a different discussion.)

again, there’s a lot of lines that i think reflect dean’s character and everything he’s been through really well, but rather than enduring the essay i could write about it, go (re)listen and you’ll see what i mean. it’s just so beautifully fitting, especially given it’s 60s/70s rock which i think dean would appreciate.

that ending scene of dean and cas seeing each other again, particularly with that song in the background, is one i think about a lot and, to me, is criminally underrated in terms of destiel moments. it’s one of my favs and it makes me cry like a baby.

so yes, it’s never too late by steppenwolf is THEE dean winchester song and i hope you agree. it’s also just an excellent song tbh go listen to it and cry with me xx

[mhsdatgo]

"You told me it was our duty to hold the realm united against a common foe. By naming me heir, you divided the realm. I thought I wanted it. But the burden is a heavy one. It’s too heavy. If you wish for me to bear it, then defend me. And my children." 

Episodes 8

What is your opinion on this speech?

Hello anon.

So this is like you said one of the scenes from ep.8, when Rhaenyra visits Viserys' bedchambers and he acknowledges her as his "only child" (not the main point of the scene, but Viserys when I catch you.)

Rhaenyra in this scene looks like a woman who isn't ready for the consequences of her actions and the way they've come back to bite her in the ass. But there's something else, deep inside. And it isn't as easy as this one. To me, this is Rhaenyra realizing that just about everything she is, everything she'll be and everything she has grown herself to want to be, it all depends on Viserys.

She is seeking out his help because it's the only one she'll ever TRULY get. The only one who comes the closest to loving her truly is him, even if this rotting excuse of a man she's weeping to is someone who would've been happy to throw her away to some other lord had Aemma's son Baelon survived.

In the end, I really think Viserys was mostly obsessed with the idea of Aemma. The idea of her, combined with the prophecy, made it so that she became something central, something fundamental, her and the children Viserys thought he'd have with her- nevermind the stillbirths, the miscarriages and the babes dead in the cradle. To him, those didn’t matter. Viserys had possibly consoled himself with the idea of another child who would wear the Conqueror's crown, and so he'd force Aemma's mangled body to work overtime, all for the sake of building the path to future he so desperately desired. And when it killed her, what was he left with? Aemma's only child. Rhaenyra.

In the end, Aemma is the only reason why he ever paid Rhaenyra any mind. The only thing left of his first wife, the one who mostly resembles the idea he had fallen in love with. He indulged her because in his mind, she, out of all people, could do no wrong. But this isn't magic, and Rhaenyra grew up spoiled and entitled, not the godsend Viserys hoped, but he couldn’t see it, too blinded with his dreams and false visions to be concerned with anything else.

When Viserys spoke of Rhaenyra about the prophecy, this passed on to her. Indirectly, and not for the same reasons and ambition as his father, (because what was Rhaenyra, if not a girl who had just lost her mother?) she believed that the throne, and anything regarding it, were entitled to her. Because Viserys named her heir, because the houses bowed and pledged loyalty to her. But most importantly, not because she viewed herself as a godsend, no, that came later. Because Aemma had died for this.

Her mother had been gutted like a beast for the dream, for the ghost of Viserys' dreams. How can she see and understand his reasoning? All she sees is that her father killed his mother. It doesn’t matter who he blames her death on, the giant cut on her belly was his order and the maesters' doing. All in pursuit of a male son, of an heir, something that poor Rhaenyra had grown to believe it was an idol, with the way her father spoke of it like some Messiah. When that title was passed on to her, can you imagine what it must have meant to her? She now has her mother's and all her brothers' deaths on her shoulders. If she doesn’t get the throne, then what did her mother die for? What about every single one of her brothers, the ones born without breath, the ones dead in the cradle, the ones dead long before its term? And at the same time, was her father's eagerness for the ideal heir all for naught?

Really, it doesn't matter what she says and does, she cannot conceive it as something wrong as long as her father allows her and indulges her, but we all know why he does what he does. And in that scene in ep.8, it all comes crashing down to her. It hasn't quite hit her yet that her father only loved her because she was her mother's daughter, yet deep down she knows her future and self-worth all rely on him. It wouldn't mean anything if she went to some other man, but him? He's the King, his word is law. He's her father, he'd defend her against the Stranger if he could. Because if he wouldn't, what's there left to believe?

Meanwhile she keeps on making one wrong turn after the other again and again, over the years and she doesn't even mind her father anymore, now grow up with the same view of herself as him. She doesn't see him for six years, and when she comes back, he's rotting. She realizes that her end is most likely near, and so even if he's visibly ill and close to death, she goes to him.

Yes, this situation is her doing, but the culprit was Viserys and the way he has grown her. Rhaenyra is nothing but the personification of all his mistakes, and like him, she believes hers can be ignored. She was so sure that everyone would just listen and dote upon his and her word that to her, all it was need for this common foe to be "defeated" was yet another reminder that his chosen one is her, no one else but her. When an entire room of people chooses her over the "common foe", this belief is strengthened even further.

No matter her former best friend who's made to be a glorified bedwarmer and a mad woman in the eyes of everyone, no matter the fact that this reminder only served as motivation for her to grasp power away from Rhaenyra as soon as Viserys dies. The damage is done by this point yet she still believes in Viserys to fix it even when he's basically on his deathbed.

So yeah, I think this is everything I've got to say. Overall, this is Rhaenyra realizing how screwed she is and resorting to fixing it the only way she knows how.

Thanks for the ask!!

[silviakundera]

I continue to find Story of Kunning Palace & A Journey to Love an exquisite back to back experience (when taking into account SoKP novel's uncensored climax).

--Ch 246, Xie Wei, A Story of Kunning Palace novel:

There was even a laugh at the moment.

He said, "I once thought, Shen Lang and I are both mortal bodies. Why should I kneel down to him and sacrifice my life for him? Born to all people, everyone is a son, why only the emperor dares to call himself the son of heaven. It is clear that everyone is the Son of Heaven. But everyone is also worthless. Ten thousand species compete with each other, and there is no mercy; kill if you want to kill, destroy if you want to destroy."

//

"I'm the emperor of An. I did what I did. A great success has to be achieved alone. A man with great ambitions shouldn't be concerned with trivial things."

"But we're not trvial. We're living people."

-- ep 32, Ren Xin, A Journey to Love

//

--Ch 245, Shen Zhiyi, A Story of Kunning Palace novel:

Shen Zhiyi sneered: "Am I not guilty?!"

When she was in the palace, although she had a spoiled temperament, she was always considered docile.

This sudden rhetorical question almost made Shen Lang stunned.

His face was livid, "What do you mean?"

Shen Zhiyi looked at him with some sadness. "You killed Zhongliang, and the border was in turmoil, but the one who went to Tartar to make peace was me! You certainly have the blood of the royal family flowing through your body, and you even sit high in the position of the King. Come on, but what have you done that is worthy of your own status? Lord of the world, ruler of all peoples, are you worthy of it?"

//

-- Ep 28, Ning Yuanzhou, A Journey to Love

"Your majesty is really thoughtful. But unfortunately, if you could've applied this thoughtfulness to how you manage military affairs, then tens of thousands of Wu soldiers wouldn't have become wronged souls. This is the remnant of the Wu flag that Chai Ming held onto before he died for you in battle. The next time you want to go crazy or throw a tantrum, you can look at this. Search your conscience. Are you worthy?"