#make that three notebooks
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More like what isn't in my pockets and bag.
im so curious abt what ppl carry around on the daily.....rb & tag what's in ur pockets/bag?
#lessee#phone#keys#wallet#not listing everything in my wallet#notebook#make that three notebooks#pocket calendar#hairbrush#lip balm#hand cream#writing utensils#rescue inhaler#business cards#hand sanitizer#sunglasses#utensil set#coupons#lemon drops#whoops found another notepad#no it's not a bag of holding#mask#hand and face wipes#vaccination card#gum#painkillers#dried mango#pistachios#something I need to return#this is pretty typical for me actually
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making mick deal with barry when len is in the “sabotaging things before they can get any more serious” stage of their relationship is truly one of my favorite things when writing coldflash… it’s like that part in pride and prejudice (2005) where darcy flees charlotte’s guest house after seeing lizzie there and charlotte asks lizzie “what on earth have you done to poor mr. darcy?” except mick knows exactly what barry has done to len and he thinks it’s hilarious, but he’s also just loyal enough to len to not say that to barry’s face
#still working on the water for elephants outline/sketch of the first draft#and i’m doing it curled up on the couch with a notebook and pen like i’m scribbling hearts around their names in a diary <3#feels good feels organic#barry just made a drunken pass at kissing len and len has now dumped him on mick to put him to bed before someone else takes him up on it#so barry is of course mortified and thinks he totally misread len and doesn’t want to say a word to mick#and it’s all mick can do not to slap the kid on the back and explain that len’s making him drag barry to his bunk because#barry’s three sheets to the wind and len doesn’t trust himself alone with him and a dark bedroom
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listen i could write and be an actual fucking godly at it, but i will never be able to write something half as good as the hinterland doctrine (those who stand for nothing fall for nothing) and that's kind of. fucked up.
#🍂 arian's shit#death note#the hinterland doctrine#those who stand for nothing fall for anything#there are various pieces of very very very beautiful media i have read#some make me like. super motivated to write.#like i need to write this instant it's so becautiful#BUT THEN SOME OF IT MAKES ME LIKE.#feel bad for even attempting to write ANYTHING like#why did i even learn how to read what is the point#the hinterland doctrine is one of them#something about death and a notebook. or whatever. she dies of diarrhea in three minutes.
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for todays wip wednesday i thought it would be kind of fun to do a little wips vs final drafts post just to kind of illustrate how far back first drafts can really start. so following the famous 5+1 fanfic format (4+1 cause u can only post 10 pics on mobile)—four wips (left) & their related final drafts (right) + one that is still a wip (bottom two)
#in the doodle those are supposed to be their eyebrows fyi#this post is just cause we writers like to suck our own dicks sometimes#an anon sent in a follow up ask after my writing advice post talking about little notebooks…#i have gone through three 200 pg notebooks during the drafting of some of this content lol#one 200 pg notebook was basically ONLY slider one shot content#1. the little doodle that led to the cyclone one shot#2. ayrmy…. this doesn’t even count as a 0.5 draft#3. this is not the first attempt at this scene. this big blowup scene went through like a dozen different drafts#& it’s still kind of whatever imo#5. here are my original notes/outline for wwgattai :) it’s all i had to go on for the entire story#the first concrete image for the entire story i had was of mav begging ice to quit smoking#and ice quitting only cause he asked out loud#6. this is the WIP. female mav for a prompt fill. will then lead to of course! lesbian charliemav.#thanks for tolerating all my wip wednesdays :) they’re just kind of fun for me even if nothing makes sense out of context#top gun#top gun maverick#tom iceman kazansky#pete maverick mitchell#icemav#top gun fanfiction#edts notes#btw in the cyclone excerpt epaulettes should be shoulderboards whoops#ignore the weird tag numbers there were originally 6
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had a horrible realization today that ai slop has made me have an instinctively negative reaction to seeing a photo of a group of puppies together.
like the amount of AI-generated "memes" where it's supposed to look like a group of "cute" dogs but when you zoom out or squint you realize the shadows make it say "send nudes" or some other phrase has made my immediately reaction to seeing a group of puppies "fuck what's this actually saying i guess i should check everyone has the right number of legs and faces are proportioned correctly" instead of just "aw. puppies."
this realization brought to you by i'm currently going through all my old notebooks and one from like 2nd grade has a trio of golden retriever puppies on the cover. and like. i was in 2nd grade WAY before the AI boom. iphones were still fairly recent at the time. there's no way this notebook cover could be AI. but i've seen so many horrible uncanny valley dogs that my brain just expects it at this point. the internet was a mistake
#i have seen a few of those ''hidden message'' memes with cats or a crowd of people but i feel like most of the time it's puppies#or even if it's not a hidden message i feel like AI-generated puppy images are a thing#anyway my mental health has been kind of shitty since moving back home but i think a huge part of that is that my room is awful#since it's just been used for storage lately and now i need to make it livable again#so step three (i already did steps one and two you don't need to know every step lmao) is reorganize my bookshelf#and i have a LOT of tiny-jess's notebooks which i absolutely refuse to get rid of#this puppy-cover notebook features a script 8-year-old jessamine wrote for ''autocorrect: the musical''
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-Asking my friends to draw a line/scribble and I need to complete it, part.1
#this line was made by mari (the ““line”” is the one marked with a pen)#there are just three drawings(for now maybe. I think- jqbzb)#so I’m not going to make a specific tag for it. I’m just going to put it as “art series”#art series#random character#random oc#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#my oc character#notebook art#my sketchbook#sketchbook art
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the day my brain was literally rewired and my gender was being changed by the second SO HERES A GAS STATION SPECIAL before this joint was even a gas station in the FIRST PLACE !!!!
FUCKING FREAK
#kommento#// theres a whole love letter in here dont open these tags it's a readmore equivalent#p4#⛽️🌫#moel gas station attendant#tohru adachi#boot.tingting#arttag#// sneak peak before the manager became a manager and only put the uniform on to see how well it would fit and hasnt taken it off since.#// im tearing up because i hate how it's been three years and also i cant find the other notebook so i went through gphotos instead#// also that i miss blorbo so much i miss my old self so much she was so sweet and genuine and the passion and love and everything#// STUPID SEQUENCE OF PHOTOS the way my brain was so fucking rearranged i had to get up and make memes and take screenshots and then#// draw then COME BACK AGAIN to watch the thing that changed my life forever. AGAIN#// sorry was having technical difficluties in yokohama im back istok im normal (affirmation )#// this is literally all me before i started thinking about myself and wondering about my gender then the dysphoria came rushing in like#// some freshwater spring about to make a waterfall and i had to let it settle and get used to the ecosystem with two more years#// took a month where p4gsteam was booted up and i made my own save at some point and finished it on july 8#// clasped my hands and had a honeymoon period over. mimi <3 then the day after rolled around and i watched the .chair car adventure#// literally my first p4 doodles were mimi and adachi theres no fucking denying it theyre the og. theyve been with me from the start#// theyre so important to me theyre so personal they made me who i am thats why im so mad with the community i have to share them with#// because theyre all so different from me and i took that personally#// IT'S KOKAY !! look at how far ive gone. this is the biggest archival effort ive ever done my entire life ive grown branches#// farther than ive done before ive put such a variety of skills to use just to make myself food and manage this damn station#// and keep some sort of love alive which was all from me and is still from ME !!!#// crying while writing these tags now sorry okyakusan i'll clean it up soon#// these doodles really explaining my mindset from the start and how the grindset has never really changed at all#// it was all friendship for three years and still will be i love adachi i love gas station attendant so much THERE I'M SAYING IT#// cherry on top friend just dm'd me to get an actual job at a gas station IM SHITTING MYSELF#// happy anniversary to my genderest best friend and the most problematic uncle ive ever had#// we're all holding hands and theyre treating me to topsicles because it's all i could ever shamelessly want
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the urge to start writing fanfiction but i have never written a piece of fanfiction ever and haven't written creatively outside of school projects in years 😭😭😭😭
#this is one of the most painful things my mental illness took from me actually#i used to be writing ALL THE TIME#i wrote on wattpad (not fanfic)#i wrote in google docs#i wrote in notebooks#i wrote on anything i could get my creative little hands on#and i was GOOD at it!!!#i went to a young author's conference three years in a row!#and then i got fucked over by my own brain and lost my spark and ability to do anything without approval from others#i hate it and i wanna find my way back#maybe. just maybe. i should talk abt this with my therapist instead of posting abt it on tumblr#(i won't)#i wish it was earlier in november cuz then i could force myself to participate in nanowrimo#someone kick me in the ass and make me write
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Also GENUINELY don't know why so many people are reblogging my terrible comic day post. I genuinely thought it was such a flop I only posted it because Terrible is in the name. It's nice though it made me feel fuzzy so thanks I guess.
#in case anyone is curious the actual punchline was going to be kim writing down in his notebook#that he needs to explain transsexualism to harry later#🙏im a t4t harrykim truther. kim is a trans man and harry is some flavor of genderqueer. i see ppl saying bigender a lot and i like that#i dont fw labels so i also think harry wouldnt fw labels. hes just disco baby#😘#anyway. did you guys miss me making 700 personal posts a day and rambling in the tags to an audience of...#*checks notes* the three people who clearly have my post notifications on and nobody else#hi btw. love u. mwah <3
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my dumbass somehow managed to delete the first post i made of this drawing, so here we go again
#i cant believe myself#i’m a mess#how does someone make a mistake like that like four times in a row#i’m fucking frustrated#anyway cool spider punk fanart since i just saw the movie#yes i know i’m late#the stupid thing only now made it in the nearest theater#and now i stained something like three pages of my notebook with alcohol markers while doing this#spider punk#spider punk fanart#hobie spiderverse#spiderverse fanart#my art#fan art#artists on tumblr#hobie brown art#artwork#traditional art#art#fanart#across the spider verse fanart#spiderman#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse
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I'm almost finished with this notebook with it's horrible paper, and I just finished the first page of my Big Project
#Oh yeah - it's all coming together#Hgggg I am so sick of this notebook! It's wack as fuck!#It has made editing a Chore for the past eight months >:0 Not fun or meditative At All#Even worse is that the paper feels good to draw on but the cleanup is just! Awful!#I've just been completely ignoring my non-lined homemade notebook because it feels bad to draw on lol#The rest of the doodles for this year - yes that's how far the queue is backlogged rn lol - are still on that paper#But at least I'm like ><this close to being done with it ugh#I've got two blank pages and then like three half-doodled on pages that I'm planning to just knock out#It looks so weird 'cause the pages are all out of order lol - the first page was in March and the last in November#But like the next page after the first is /also/ November lol#Like it's largely in chronological order but it jumps around quite a lot! It was an interesting experiment#I also think it's funny since the first page got some fandom stuff that didn't come back around until now but it Looks chronological lol#I think I'll do it again but with some modifications - if I run out of steam/interest/motivation then I can fill it in however I want#Keeping it on-theme is fun but I find myself pushing ideas when I don't actually have any :P That's no good#It's not Always bad - I like quite a few of my spacefiller ideas! But if anything that just proves that finishing things out to make room-#Well like I said it was fun lol#And! As stated! I finished the first page of my big behind-the-scenes project! >:3c#Man I haven't worked on a comic proper-like in uhhhhh#It's gotta be at least five years lol geez#It's been a weird rhythm to try to fall into lol I'm Way out of practice - but it's nice to see it come together!#Lotta steps to get it into the shape I want - hard to sustain - but slowly and surely I've got this one :)#It'll be good to finally have it Out haha
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When the writing fairies hit (kinda):
#i thought i hit a breakthrough with one of the main backstories#so much so that it made me light a candle and get out the notebook#so i’m not at square one anymore at least!#i’m actually at square two and way more confused about this story than i was three months ago#that’s how this writing thing is supposed to go right?#making yourself more confused the more you think you’re unraveling plot points? right?#r—right guys?
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one of these days i am going to make a teru mikami rp ask blog thing. when i do, it'll be so over for you all.
#not now though#i need to let him rotate in my mind for a little while#but i bet it's going to be fun#*claps hands together* he will be the world's biggest simp.#but please don't misunderstand me mikami is my fav i am not going to reduce him to some dickrider simp#i think he is one of the intriguing characters in dn because like. i feel like what fandom thinks of light's moral worldview#actually applies more to him.#also HE IS SO PEDANTIC. HE IS OBSESSIVE. HE IS METHODICAL TO AN EXTREME LEVEL#kinda unstable as well#i am going to make that rp ask blog slightly delve into that#but he can be a simp. one sided mikalight world domination#death note#teru mikami#dn rp blog#something about death and a notebook. or whatever. she dies of diarrhea in three minutes.
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It's definitely a warning sign when you start to catch yourself repeating patterns of behavior that you only learned as a way to survive in a deeply deeply bad situation with people you definitely can't avoid
#what is it with me and ending up in situations where i'm not allowed to say no#or situations where i can't make any decisions for myself#this is the third time#albeit not the most serious of the three#it definitely ranks second in terms of consequences#like i even talked to my therapist about it!#she's going to be so disappointed in me and the fact that my notebook will be full of failures#haven't stood up for myself at all at any point#at least she knows i'm a coward (“anxiety”) so we're okay#still how do i keep finding myself in these situations?#the pattern of behavior obviously being never say no because you're not allowed to#but try to get around it by still doing what's best for you secretly and with some lying#i realize it's unhealthy and bad and no one likes being lied to#but can we stop putting me in these situations please#literally ignore me#this is why i discourage being my friend as well#and also why dating would be SUCH A BAD MOVE#i'm trying to work on this behavior but man just stay away from me and don't keep throwing these situations at me
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y'all, despite having More Time Sensitive Tasks(tm), i have instead spent my holiday afternoon ripping apart my writing storage to reconfigure it (and figure out where to shelve Driscoll through the end of the year). i Photographed This Endeavor, so: please hold, pictures inbound
#text#personal#writing#seriously i ripped apart everything for this lol#did i actually move that much around?#no#however: i did count notebooks about it and managed to make all the paper products Fit#the casualties were three (3) empty binders and a purple folder#unclear where those will go but im sure i have another box i can shove them in#writer life
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I love lending out books to my friends, it’s a love language
#turns out one of my friends read the haunting season#and so she’s read Natasha pulleys story in there#so when I mentioned it she was like o h I know that that makes so much more sense that they exist in other books#and so she ended up borrowing the bedlam stacks#and then went home and sent me a snap where she was like#this is the book I’m currently reading that I told you about#I wanna finish it quickly so I can start the one you lend me#it was very sweet#she bought me three small notebooks bc she didn’t wanna coke empty handed and thought I could use them in England#very sweet#me
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