#so I’m not going to make a specific tag for it. I’m just going to put it as “art series”
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Thanks so much for the tag! I would have done this sooner but then blanked on who to tag cause technically this is a side blog and so idk if I’m actually mutuals with anyone on this one specifically. Also social anxiety apparently.
Last song: Curses by the crane wives
Favourite colour: deep/rich forest green (jewel tones in general)
Last book: shit I need to read more, I honestly don’t know.
Last movie: Wicked
Last show: Severance/Ghosts US
Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Savoury
Relationship status: single
Last thing searched: Kathryn Hahn but I can’t remember why
Current obsession: I feel like I’m in between obsessions right now, it’s just a little bit of many things but none of them are like, hyperfixations like I normally have at least one going on. Like I don’t even have a food fixation right now. I was putting a lot of time into Skyrim recently (first playthrough ever) but I’m already losing some of the bonus dopamine from it. Hades 2 probably will be an obsession again when the next update comes out
Looking forward to: season 2 of severance, also ordering myself some Wicked Barbie dolls whenever I next make a “for fun” purchase
Tagging: @knife-wife @writerxwren @opposite-massive @violet-moonstone and honestly anyone who follows this blog! A good portion of my followers I don’t think are real people so anyone who’s here and a person if you want to participate please do!
Ten People I’d Like to Get to Know Better
tagged by: @orphiclovers
last song: It’s all been Christmas retail crap or if you count the radio on the drive home playing Avril Lavigne
fav color: this pale seafoam green for things or white for clothes
last book: Eclipse by Wilder (poetry)
last movie: Deadpool & Wolverine
last show: N/A
sweet/spicy/savory: sweet and savory
relationship status: 4 people proposed to me this year. 1 meant it fr 🥹 (engaged irl) otherwise I have a harem on AO3 going.
last thing i googled: how big is a wintermelon?
current obsession: cooking and Infinity Nikki
looking forward to: I’m planning a road trip with the girls later this week!!
Tagging: @auuwmk, @ssunfish, @ajhaijma, @stoneclaw, @quiteboared, @kiwiandmint, @dgeneralacc, @rex44201, @readingdreaming4951, @thottykunikida
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⋆˙⟡♡ CHALANT
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 { PAIRING; non-idol!jaehyun x reader, GENRE; fluff, uni!au, headcanon, WC; 2.1k, WARNING(S); mildly suggestive, A/N; oh to be loved by chalant myung jaehyun. TAGS; @onedoornet @en-dream @heeheesang @httpenhoon @r1kification @seungheartyou, @starfallia @sugarikiz @hoondolls @prettyange1 @bee-the-loser @pumpkg @lucky-wy @leehanwish}
chalant!myungjae has never been shy about his crush on you. hell, he made it a public affair. anyone and everyone knew about it, including you. you didn’t really know what to think. this good-looking guy was openly proclaiming that he’s interested in you. it sounded like a trap, something that’d hurt you. at first, it was just words. people that knew you both would comment.
“did you know myung jaehyun likes you?” “can you tell your boyfriend to shut up about you?”
he’s not my boyfriend, you’d reply. you started feeling bad for these people at some point. here’s this guy that you knew next to nothing about and he’s talking people’s ears off about how he’s so in love with you. what is he so in love with? he’s never even talked to you. when it was people that you mutually knew, you didn’t think much of it. but then, there were strangers coming up to you.
“uh, are you y/n?” yes. “this dude, jaehyun, is like really into you. he would not stop talking about you at the party.”
so i’ve heard, you’d say. how is this guy telling everyone but you? you started getting annoyed, so annoyed that you finally confronted him. you tried to avoid when he was with his friends, not wanting to embarrass the guy further, but he was always with someone. so, one day, when you spotted him in the library, you decided that enough was enough. you marched right up to his table. what about me are you so in love with? you asked.
if anyone else said that and others overheard, they’d think you were crazy and narcissistic. but, because it was you, no one batted an eye. actually, they all leaned closer, hoping that this was the day jaehyun would finally shut up about you. jaehyun’s face went from shocked to goofy. he had this lopsided grin when he started.
“what’s there not to love? you’re insanely smart—i’ve seen the way you lead discussion sections. you’re really kind—you helped all those freshmen pass genetics even though you were clearly stressed about your stuff. you’re very particular about your drinks, but not in a rude way—i hear you apologizing to baristas about how specific your order is and then you leave a big fat tip. you love the sun. i always catch you sunbathing in the quad around 2pm after class—i swear i’m not stalking you! i just have a class in the quad. you’re funny—the side-eyes you give the people saying the dumbest things make me giggle. you—” you get it.
gosh, if only you could hide further into your hoodie. your face was bright red. all his friends were giving you exasperated looks, as if to say “please go out with him so he’ll finally shut up.” you didn’t realize you ran into him that much. you were constantly stressed, rushing to class, that people were just blurred faces to you. you barely managed to make eye contact with jaehyun and then you saw. he looked at you like you held the answer to all his prayers.
“if i take you on a date, will you stop bothering people about how you’re so in love with me?” you muttered. then, this guy has the gawl to shake his head. “absolutely not. but! i’ll shut up for a day.”
his friends nodded rapidly, begging you with their whole bodies to do it. a day was better than anything, they supposed. so, you asked him out. jaehyun’s grin couldn’t get any wider.
chalant!myungjae stayed true to his word and never shut up about you after that one (blissful) day. just like before, he talked about you with anyone that’d give him the time, even your professors. because you were in the same major, you and jaehyun had the same classes, just not the same section (much to jaehyun’s dismay). so, he’d hang back a few until you arrived so he could give you his notes.
“it’s a preview! so you don’t have to rush to catch everything.”
in those few minutes that you take to arrive, jaehyun’s talking to your professor.
“you should totally make my girlfriend, y/n, your ta! she’s always the top scorer and is helping out other people anyways!” “this is us on our second date. look at how pretty she is! i think she’s the love of my life.” “do you think you could transfer me into this section so i could be with her?” no, they’d say exhaustedly.
if your professors were at all bitter, they would’ve hated you. having to hear about you so much was tiring. but, they all appreciated love when they saw it—or, in this case, heard it. though they didn’t let it show too much, they did tend to favor you after hearing how much you enjoyed the class and helped others. you were certainly helping their ratemyprofessor scores.
chalant!myungjae was a confident person. but, he was never more confident than the times he could acceptably brag that he was your boyfriend.
you took part in dancing as an extracurricular, something that helped college be a little more bearable. because of this, you had performances and recitals. these were college events that jaehyun could finally look forward to.
he always came early just so he could grab a front seat. he was always the loudest, cheering you on whenever you were on stage. when he felt like he wasn’t loud enough, he forced his friends to come along. at one point, he made t-shirts for all of them to wear. we’re here with y/n’s boyfriend. of course, he wore his own shirt. y/n’s boyfriend on the back and the cutest (you didn’t find it all that cute) picture he had of you adorning the front. he was very very proud to be your boyfriend. and, of course, he needed to get you the world’s biggest bouquet every time. you told him that he didn’t need to get you such expensive flowers every time, but he shook his head.
“these aren’t expensive compared to what i really wanted to get you.”
later, you found out that he wanted to get you a thousand lilies of the valleys, your favorite. every time. you scolded him about it, saying how you were broke college students and couldn’t afford things like that.
to that, he said, “yet.”
chalant!myungjae didn’t care for possessing things, you included (because women aren’t possessions, he said), but, man, did he love being possessed by you. anything he could get to let people know he was yours, he’d have. his lockscreen? you. his desktop picture? you. he even had one of those photocard holders attached to his backpack with a polaroid of you. he had half the mind to get the big photocard holders, but he didn’t think you’d like that (you told him that was embarrassing). it didn’t stop at just pictures, though. he even bought himself a necklace with your last name attached. you asked him why he didn’t get your first name or even a necklace for you with his name.
“i want to take your last name! and i didn’t want to buy you something like that without your explicit permission.”
you just sighed adoringly. shouldn’t he have asked your permission for his necklace then?
chalant!myungjae wasn’t just all for show. he also did things that were less noticeable—like having a hair tie around his wrist at all times. you always managed to lose yours and were put out whenever you couldn’t put your hair up. when he saw your cute little pout, he vowed to always make sure you had a hair tie available to you whenever you were together (even if he loved your pout).
another thing he did was carry around a second hoodie—for himself, of course. sure, it made his backpack bulky, but you were worth it. there were days that you’d think the weather was going to be a mild temperature or the buildings weren’t going to blast the ac, so you’d opt out of bringing a sweater. but, when you sadly realized that it was freezing, he’d hand you his hoodie—the one that he was already wearing. you mentioned in passing how much you liked wearing his clothes, but only when they smelled like him, so he always gave you whatever he was wearing at the time and put the second hoodie on (that way you couldn’t say no with the reason that he’d be cold).
chalant!myungjae was always respectful towards women. his mother raised him right after all. there were times though when he wasn’t. like, when he’s getting hit on. you never said anything, never showed an ounce of insecurity. but, he made it his mission to get these girls away from him.
on your late-night outings, both of you dressed up. you looked good. you were bound to attract attention. but, one thing you told jaehyun from the start was that you wouldn’t subject your friends to feeling like they were with a couple when you went out. so, he let you do your thing while he did his. you guys always danced in the club near each other. that’s why you were privy to seeing him turn people away. in an odd fashion.
there were times he’d bark at them. there were times he’d act like he batted for the other team. there were times he’d point at you and show them that he was a taken man. but, the one time this girl didn’t catch the hints—the necklace, the photocard, his lockscreen, his blatant denial—everyone was in for a show.
“your girlfriend doesn’t have to know,” the girl purred, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. you see this happening out of the corner of your eye. you just said a silent prayer for her because you knew jaehyun was about to embarrass her. what you didn’t know was how.
he scoffed. “i tell her everything, even my poop schedule. she’ll know.”
the girl didn’t back off. “well, i don’t see her. she left you here all alone with me. can’t i just have you for the night?”
she’s persistent, you’ll give her that. that’s when you feel someone pull you away from your friends. you’re spun around and a kiss was planted on your lips. your eyes widened before you realized it was jaehyun. you let yourself enjoy the kiss, thinking it was going to be short. but it wasn’t. it was one of the most mind-blowing kisses jaehyun has ever given you. if you were sobering up, jaehyun’s kiss pulled you right back into a haze. he cradled your neck, kissing you deeper, as his other hand pulled you closer. even when the girl finally got the hint and left, he didn’t let you go. if anything, he seemed to take it as his cue to continue. when you heard your friends cheering you on, you let this be the exception to your one rule. when you finally pulled away for air, a string of saliva followed you. you just blinked at him while he had this goofy grin on his face.
“sorry, i had to show her who my girlfriend was.”
safe to say, he didn’t let you go for the rest of the night and you didn’t mind one bit.
chalant!myungjae didn’t really post on his social media. sure, he was active on it, liking his friends’ posts and yours (obviously). he became really active on it once you started dating. jaehyun skipped the soft launch and went straight into the hard launch. every story he posted, his friends could bet that it was going to be you with some corny caption about how much he loved you or how lucky he was. when he did post, they’d just be photo dumps from moments with you. at this point, his account became a y/n fan account. if anyone were to stalk him, trying to see if he was taken or not, they’d know immediately. in his bio, he had your user. his pinned post was your first anniversary date, where you looked absolutely stunning. his profile picture? it was the two of you.
oh, and was he in your comments.
first! i would’ve built rome in a day for you had to pick my jaw off the ground i won’t you. bad. i’m framing this something’s wet and i move my phone to my left hand…
ya... he was getting creative with his comments.
chalant!myungjae makes sure that you know, and the world knows, how much he loves you. he’ll never let a single doubt enter your mind about how he feels about you. you are his girl and he is very much your boy.
disclaimer: this, in no way, reflects the idol. this is purely fiction. ✧ comments and reblogs are appreciated! ✧ give my other works a read too!
#onedoornet#myung jaehyun#boynextdoor#boynextdoor x reader#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor scenarios#myung jaehyun x reader#boynextdoor fic#⍣ 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚: writes#⍣ 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚: headcanon#bnd x reader#bnd fic#bnd fluff#bnd imagines#bnd scenarios#b#myung jaehyun fluff
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ivy: an incandescent glow
(Y/n) just wants to have a fun night out, but Harry has a tendency to ruin things..
[part 2]
masterlist // ivy series
word count: 10.9k
warnings/tags: enemies to lovers, harry x fem reader, angst
Although the week had been quite packed with things at work, (Y/n) had decided that maybe it would be best if she did go out for the night. It would only be for a few hours, and Niall had assured her when he came over the other night for dinner that it would be a good time. Emma begged a few times, of course, and she didn’t want to admit to giving in to her, but she did.. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to go out, it had simply been a while.
“Is Niall riding with us?” She asked Emma when she popped in (Y/n)’s room to borrow a pair of earrings that would better match her outfit.
“No, he’s going with Zayn. They usually go early to meet with the owner and stuff.” She explained as she looked in the mirror, slipping the earrings into her piercing holes. “He might ride back.. I’m not going to drink very much, probably just one drink when we first get there. He’ll want to celebrate after and you know how he is.”
“He definitely doesn’t need to be in a driver’s seat.”
Emma sighed. “He doesn’t even need to do that when he’s sober. He pays horrible attention to the road.”
“Your dress is cute. I love the red on you.”
“Thanks! I love your skirt.. even though it covers your ass too much.” She joked with a grin.
(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “I don’t want my ass hanging out all the time.”
“When it looks that good.. you should.”
“Do I need to change?”
Emma smacked her lips and grabbed (Y/n)’s hand, knocking the makeup brush out of her grip. “Stop! You look perfect, (Y/n), I’m only teasing because your ass is nice and mine is nowhere near as big.” A laugh fell from her lips as she wrapped her arms around (Y/n). “You’re hot, girl.”
“Am not.” She huffed back, embracing Emma just as tight. “But thanks.”
“The skirt is hot. The style is cute on you, plus the sparkles on your shirt are going to shine so much in the bar. Like a disco ball.. all eyes on you, sugar.”
(Y/n) chuckled at Emma’s flattering statements. She was glad to have an encouraging friend like her. Before all the joking, she did have a thought or two about the skirt and the bright orange shirt covered in fake rectangular gemstones. The straps were thin, and the necklace was low but straight across, covering any opportunity for cleavage to show. It was definitely not a shirt someone would wear on a daily basis, but it was perfect for going out.
“Are you wearing heels?” Emma asked, looking down to see her shoeless feet.
“Probably the chunky ones with the straps, the black ones. Are you?”
She nodded back. “I’ll make Niall rub my feet tonight.”
(Y/n) snickered. “I’ll make you rub mine.”
“I mean, I will. You’re my best friend.. as long as you aren’t sweaty.” Emma’s lashes hit her cheek as she winked.
“Don’t you need to finish getting ready?” (Y/n) said as she turned back towards the mirror to work on her makeup.
Emma was notorious for being late, and it took everything in (Y/n) to wrangle her up and out of the door when they were going places together. Niall didn’t give them a specific time to be at the bar, but he did say when the band would start. Emma needed to get ready quick if they wanted to make it on time.
The car ride was full of quick conversations with random topics in between their performances of some of their favorite songs. They had hit a karaoke stage as a duo before, plenty of times, so they were confident in their list of songs. In between the belting and off key singing, they had a few longer talks. Emma asked if (Y/n) was nervous about going to a bar she’d never been to before, in which she said ‘no, I’m excited’ and then let Emma tell her all about the layout of the place.
“You said something about.. Niall celebrating after?”
Emma nodded as she kept her eyes on the road ahead of them. “They don’t play the entire night. Usually have about two afters until closing. Depends on if there’s any requests.”
“Requests?” (Y/n) lifted her brows, surprised by the seemingly popularity Niall’s crew had. “They must be really good?”
Although she had seen videos of Niall, she hadn’t seen any of his band. Emma didn’t really use social media a lot, so she never posted anything or shared posts about their shows. (Y/n) was going to be completely surprised by whatever was to come tonight. She knew it would be good though. If they could continue to book the same venue time and time again, then they must bring in a good audience.
When the silence rose between them, (Y/n) took the opportunity to look at Emma’s outfit. She was humming softly to the song playing on the radio as she drove, her concentration on the road and not on her friend’s gazing eyes. Emma had such pretty dark hair that (Y/n) thought was perfectly placed strand by stand on her head. It had a natural wave to it that was easy to style, whereas (Y/n) had to place heated curls into her long, straight hair whenever she wanted it to look cute. Emma had a slimmer build than she did, her legs were longer despite them being a similar height. No matter how hard she tried not to look, her eyes always naturally fell to catch a glimpse at the gap between Emma’s legs. She never looked at it in a weird way, like she was attracted to her, but in an envious way. When she stared down at her own thighs or burned holes through her mirror, she always frowned and swallowed harshly as her skin pressed together - the inside of her thighs always touching. It wasn’t the biggest deal to her, but it was noticeable in her eyes, so she assumed it was.. noticeable for everyone else. Emma had small boobs, but they fit perfectly on her frame. While (Y/n) had a small cup size, they didn’t necessarily match her body, she believed. Her hips were wider, her ass fuller - as Emma reminded her often - and her stomach was pudgy. She wasn’t skinny, nor tall and lanky. She was short, plump, and her thighs touched.. She never thought she was unattractive but she figured she wasn’t conventionally attractive, she didn’t possess those things that society craved and demanded of women.
Emma’s outfit tonight was perfectly sculpted to her slim body. The red dress had a satin finish to it as it draped carefully over her cleavage, the swell of her breasts peeking out just enough to keep someone guessing. Her tanned skin was littered with delicate gold jewelry - her signature flower ring on her right hand was accompanied by a few random ones, and a ruby necklace hung over her collarbones, Niall gifted that to her for Christmas.
(Y/n) was confident in her outfit for the night, she was comfortable in the articles of clothing. She was very used to wearing heels when going out, she believed they made the outfits even better, so her feet weren’t going to be hurting that bad later on. She thought her makeup was done nicely, a dark grey smokey eye with a shimmery white covering her lid and a pink nude gloss over her thick lips. Her lips, that was the one thing she was confident in each and every time she looked at her reflection. They were plump, full, and much thicker than the average person’s. She had been told several times that her lips would do wonders - although, she hadn’t gotten to that with anyone yet. She had kissed a few people, though, and they told her it was heavenly. She took the praise to heart and was proud of it. Her thighs might touch and her hair might dry straight, but she had pretty lips.. that would surely be enough to attract someone one of these days, right?
After a couple of minutes of silence, more than (Y/n) had realized, Emma spoke up. “Are you feeling okay?”
(Y/n) stuck her tongue out to wet her lips, smearing her lip gloss in the process. “Yeah. Why?”
Emma shrugged. “You’re quiet.. you seem like you’re thinking about something.”
“I’m fine, promise.”
They became quiet again. She knew that sometimes she became mute when she was anxious or thinking thoroughly about something, and she hated when people noticed or pointed it out. She wasn’t intentionally trying to be that way, it just happened. She assumed it was normal, but perhaps she did it too much?
“(Y/n), if you’re worrying about your outfit, please don’t. You look hot. You always do.” Emma suddenly said, a smile laced in her words. “There’s gonna be guys dropping to your feet tonight, like they always do.”
“They don’t drop to my feet.” She huffed, pursing her lips at the thought. “They just want to hook up with me.”
Emma smirked. “It’s your ass, I’m telling you. They love it.”
“Emma, please.” (Y/n) was fighting back a chuckle.
“I promise, swear on every little thing, (Y/n), your outfit is perfect and you look perfect.”
A weighted sigh escaped through her lips as she relaxed in the seat, her eyes shifting to look out of the window. “Thanks, Em.”
While (Y/n) had never been to the establishment they arrived at, she was no stranger to a bar or club setting. Emma no longer seemed to be worried or concerned about any lingering doubts (Y/n) might have about her outfit or how the night would go. They strolled to the door, hand in hand with giggles pouring from their mouths as Emma joked about how excited she was for what Niall was going to give her after the show. Apparently, performing gave him a boost of confidence, energy, and testosterone. Emma was not shy about telling every detail and making sure (Y/n) knew all the craziest parts.
“There’s a good bit of people here.” (Y/n) said as she raised her brows, looking at the good sized line forming to the door.
“Yeah, it’s always packed out. This is one of the best places around. Decent prices, good djs and bands, obviously.” Emma grinned at her own comment. “And the food is actually great. I never came before I got with Niall though.”
“Yeah, I’m kinda surprised we never popped in here during school.”
Emma’s smile turned to a smirk. “They couldn’t handle our karaoke performances.”
Once they paid the cover charge and made a quick trip to the restroom before getting settled anywhere, they headed to the bar, still hand in hand as they weaved through the crowd of people already dancing. (Y/n) took notice of the interior as they waited for the bartender to come over to them.
The place was pretty big for what it was. The main room had a large dance floor space, a stage lined the back wall. Apparently, the place always had live performers or guest djs. It used to be a small theater that was renovated - the seating ripped out to transform the venue, but the stage remained untouched. Along the left side of the huge open room were tables with booth style benches shaped in half circles. Most of them were already occupied, but she could tell it was more of a casual thing - instead of a ‘being seated and waited on’ space. There was a doorway close to the opposite end of the bar covered with a long, sparkling beaded curtain. The sign next to the door read ‘VIP’. She pursed her lips at the idea of this place being so popular that they had a special seating area. Her eyes darted to the bartender as she heard Emma start saying her order. (Y/n) ordered a drink consisting of rum and pineapple juice, intending to get something stronger later once the show started.
“Hey there, strangers.” A familiar voice called out over the music.
“Oh, hi, Niall!” Emma was cheerful as he sat down on the stool closest to them. They had been standing, though, not wanting to claim a seat at the bar. “What are you doing out here?”
He shrugged. “We’ve got a few minutes to kill. Getting started?” He nodded his head towards the drink in Emma’s hand.
“Yeah, just having one.. since you’ll be drinking whatever’s left at the bar later.”
(Y/n) laughed at their banter, which caught Niall’s attention. “I expect you, missy, to have fun tonight. I want everyone to experience how wild you can get.”
“I told her she needs to have fun!” Emma exclaimed, reaching over to grab (Y/n)’s elbow and give it a squeeze.
“I’ll have a few.. but I’m not going to go crazy.”
They both gave her a dramatic eye roll, Niall adding a huff to his reaction. “C’mon, (Y/n), live a little!”
“Yeah, a little, not a lot.” She smiled back, amused by their mix of excitement and disappointment.
“I’ll make sure you have a few rounds of tequila later. On me, of course.” Niall said, looking from her to Emma. “If you don’t drink yours.. then I’ll take it, babe.”
“Are you guys doing requests tonight?” Emma changed the topic after shaking her head at him.
He slowly lifted his head in a nod. “From what I was told. As long as we know it.. we’ll play it.”
“Do my song, okay?” Emma begged with a pout of her lips.
He shaped a grin on his. “It’s on the set list, baby.”
“What kind of music do you play?” (Y/n) asked, genuinely curious about it. Emma hadn’t really given her much of an idea about what to expect, just a guarantee that she’d love it and have fun.
“Mostly rock.. We do a lot of nineties.. early two thousands songs. Bunch of classic rock, though. Little bit of grunge, dad rock.. if that’s what you wanna call it. Sometimes we branch out.. but mostly stick to that stuff.” Niall said as he stood from the stool, a sigh following his final words as he ran a hand through his puffed up dark hair.
“Time to get ready?” Emma pouted, her free hand slipping onto his waist.
“Yeah, gotta round up the lads.” He breathed out, his eyes focusing on Emma now. “I’ll be watching you, babe. Make sure ya dance for me, yeah?” He teased with a lick of his lips, which clearly fell downward to meet hers.
(Y/n) swallowed a sip of her drink and let her eyes move to the floor. She wasn’t grossed out by their display of affection, she just felt like she was intruding. Emma was always so open with her about the things she did with Niall and others before he came along, but she never had those kinds of stories to tell back to her. She had been with one person, the summer before university began, and it was terrible. Aside from that, kissing people was the extent of her experience. She enjoyed most of the times she had almost gone far with people, but it never got to that point.
Emma hugged Niall quickly as he said something about needing to go. When he disappeared in the crowd, Emma turned to face (Y/n) again.
“Niall might stay over tonight.” She said, taking a sip of her drink. “Just to let you know.”
“Alright, that’s fine.”
Emma slid her gaze around the room, taking in the familiar setting, before looking back to (Y/n). “I hope you like the music. There’s a bunch of songs you definitely know on the set.”
“M’sure I will.”
“Are you good?” Emma smiled sweetly, not trying to pry or seem too nosy, but she noticed how (Y/n) had shied away from her and Niall just before he left.
“I’m fine. You worry too much.”
(Y/n) sighed lightly as Emma took her hand. “Maybe we can find you a hot guy tonight. I know you know how to use those lips.”
“Don’t say it like that!” (Y/n) laughed, covering her mouth as her cheeks blushed.
“Kissing, I mean! But I’m sure you can do the other stuff, too.” Emma just smirked, knowing that her attempt at making (Y/n) feel better was working.
They didn’t have to wait too much longer for everything to start. But as they stood next to the bar, partially resting on the stools, the place filled up to more than capacity. It was like a big name musician was in town. Emma told (Y/n) about the popularity of the bar again and how it was always sold out and packed floor to ceiling with people. She was very impressed by the crowd that had formed around them, and she wondered how much of that was just from the place’s atmosphere and how much was for the live show.
Just as the guy who was normally over the music appeared on the stage to announce that the show was about to begin, Emma grabbed (Y/n)’s hand and they shoved their way to the front of the crowd, not quite in the center but close enough. Emma wanted to be in front of where Niall would be standing. The lights dimmed, replaced with flashing colorful lights and white strobing flashes. Emma was cheering with the crowd while (Y/n) waited in anticipation. She was excited to see Niall perform live, but she was more interested in seeing the rest of the band.
A small group flooded the stage suddenly, instruments in a few of their hands, including Niall’s. The lights were purposely not flashing on to the stage yet, so it was too dark for her to tell. She thought she recognized the person getting behind the drum set, but she wasn't sure. Emma let out a piercing squeal as the show finally began.
(Y/n) happily smiled and started to sway her hips from side to side as a familiar opening instrumental of a song started to fill the room. The lights on the floor of the stage popped on, lighting up the band as the singer started the first verse of “Come As You Are”. She was nodding her head to the music as she watched Niall pluck the strings on the guitar, he was pursing his lips and seeming to be enjoying what he was doing. His eyes shot up and he gave them a quick grin before focusing back on the guitar in his hands and the microphone placed near his mouth. Emma had told her that he sings backup vocals sometimes, depending on the song. She let her eyes roam over the rest of the band. She kept getting a bright red light shot into her eye from one of the stage lights above them, so it was difficult to see at first.
“Oh, Zayn!” She yelled out over the music, hitting Emma on her arm. She hadn’t told her that he was in the band - in fact, she didn’t know much about the band at all.
There were two other people she didn’t recognize, one was a girl playing a keyboard and a guy with dark blond hair playing a bass guitar. Another gasp came from her as she finally got to clearly see the person tightly gripping the microphone. She truly didn’t expect to recognize more than just Niall and Zayn. There stood before her, in the middle of the stage with two big hands wrapped around the microphone and the top of the stand was a third familiar face. Sweat was already rolling down from his hairline, his long curly hair was messy on his head as he jerked around while singing. A white t-shirt hugged his body, sticking to him like glue, and a pair of dark jeans over his legs. The jet black ink of the snake tattoo stood out against his skin as the lights flashed over it, the creature wrapping perfectly around his arm. It was Harry.
The next song started almost immediately and it was another one that she recognized right off the top of the first note played. (Y/n)’s dad had a thing for rock music, and she knew the start of “Highway to Hell” like the back of her hand. She was impressed by the vocal range Harry was able to belt out into the microphone. Niall and the other guy she didn’t know the name of were singing the chorus with him. Emma was dancing like it was the actual band performing the song, but her behavior made (Y/n) more comfortable and soon she was doing the same.
Every now and then, Niall would flash them a toothy grin and give them a nod of his head, approving of their performance and dancing. (Y/n) was on her second drink, this one they grabbed soon after Niall left them and it was stronger than the first. She was feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks, and not from the dancing or close quarters of the crowd. It had been a while since she went out, so she was starting to feel that sensation flood through her - she wanted to have fun tonight.
For almost an hour, (Y/n) and Emma danced with each other, screaming out the lyrics they knew to different songs. They would do an impersonation of Niall every now and when he'd look towards them, air guitars and rock star head bangs acted out - all of which made him throw his head back and laugh. Like they usually did when they went out together, they’d grab onto each other and hug while singing or playfully run their hands down each other’s sides. It was all in fun, of course, and the alcohol contributed.
They both let go of their embrace as the music dialed down, twisting so they could face the stage. Niall was guzzling a bottle of water as Harry shoved his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. The bass player grabbed a stool from the back of the stage and brought it to Harry. Emma was familiar with this portion of the show, so she grabbed (Y/n)’s forearm to get her attention.
“I’m gonna get some water, do you want another drink?” Emma asked as she took a deep breath, exhausted from trying to outdo the performance on the stage.
“Yeah, get me another one of these.” (Y/n) nodded as she passed her empty cup, knowing she’d toss in the bin for her. Emma disappeared into the crowd to fight her way to the bar just as Harry adjusted the microphone stand and sat on the stool.
He was holding a bottle of water as he leaned into the microphone. “We’re gone slow it down for a bit.” His deep voice rattled through the speakers, a quick smirk shaping to his lips before he put the bottle to them.
(Y/n) couldn’t help but watch him as he swallowed half the contents of the bottle. It sloshed out, spilling over the corners of his mouth and running down his chin. Water droplets soaked and trailed down the fabric of his shirt. She was still so shocked by the fact he was the singer in Niall’s band. Maybe Emma just didn’t tell her because she knew they didn’t know each other. They met once, but they were strangers. He tossed the half empty water bottle on the ground, some of it spilled out since the top wasn’t screwed all the way on. His eyes roamed over the crowd as he grabbed the microphone. He glanced over his shoulder towards Niall, who gave him a nod and started up the next song.
(Y/n) had thoughts spinning in her head, the buzz from her drinks wasn’t helping her concentrate on just one thing. She wondered what songs they would do next. What kind of slower songs did they prefer to do? She figured it would be some of the same artists and bands they had covered thus far. Her eyes were glued to the floor, thoughts circling her mind at a hundred miles an hour. Had that second drink really been that strong or was she dizzy from being so close to the speakers?
(Y/n) lifted her head the moment she realized what song was being played. She shot her gaze to Niall, then over to the bass guitarist. She knew those chords better than any other song that existed. All those running thoughts vanished in her head as Harry’s voice dropped low with the first verse of the song. The way he sang the words just as slow as they originally were done made her heart skip a beat. This song was special to her. This was something she wasn’t even sure Emma knew. She talked about losing her mom quite often with Emma, but her brother was a different story. And as his favorite song was being sung, she couldn’t help but feel a sadness creep over her joyful mood. All the energy she had jolting through her veins like lightning had slowed to a dull pulse. She gulped as she glanced next to her, Emma hadn’t returned yet. Niall was too busy focusing on the chords he was playing to give her any looks. She felt like she was about to pass out, not from the heat built up from the crowd or the alcohol in her system - but from the overwhelming feelings washing through her. (Y/n)’s strained blue eyes flicked to Harry, and for just a split second he locked his gaze on her. It was gone before she could understand what was happening. She was sure he didn’t notice her, and if he did then he didn’t recognize her or care to remember the glimpse of her face he got at the tattoo shop.
She thought maybe watching Niall would distract her, but witnessing him playing the music she so easily knew was making it worse. She wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there with her eyes glued to the floor. The song wasn’t over yet, that’s all she was sure of.
“Oh, this is new! They’ve never done this one before!” Emma suddenly appeared next to her, a smile over her lips as she passed (Y/n) the drink.
She turned her head, glad to see that her friend had returned but sort of upset that she left in the first place. Emma couldn’t have known what song was going to be next, clearly she was unaware of it, and she didn’t know the intense attachment (Y/n) had to it. She couldn’t blame Emma for anything.
“Thanks. I’m running.. to the restroom!” She yelled over the speaker that was extremely close to them.
Emma gave her a thumbs up and a quick ‘be careful’. Before Emma could drop her arm, (Y/n) was pushing her way through the crowd towards the restroom, well she actually wasn’t sure where she was heading. She had to get away from that stage. She had to disappear for a few minutes to collect herself. It wasn’t the performance that bothered her - Niall was amazing, as were the others playing instruments, and Harry was doing the song justice. It was just her mind. Sweaty bodies bumped into her as she elbowed through everyone. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of people. It was so loud in the place that her ears were ringing. She couldn’t even hear the music anymore, she was unaware the song had finished and a new one was being played. She broke through the crowd, sucking in a quick breath as she realized she was free of the constraints of people around her.
The restroom was close by, and she stopped just outside the door to chug the alcohol from the cup Emma had just brought her. It was gone within a few seconds. She didn’t care about the sticky drops landing on her chest or the few rolling down her lips, smudging her lip gloss and tracing light lines in her makeup. The bathroom was cold, arctic cold at that. It was a feeling of utter relief to be free of the music, the crowd, the lights.
She stumbled to the sinks, almost forgetting the height of her shoes. Her hands gripped the cold porcelain of the sink in the farthest corner of the bathroom. The fuzzy feeling in her head hadn’t faded yet. She stared at the sink bowl, the silver lined drain gazing back up at her. (Y/n) spent far longer in the restroom than she meant to.
After ten minutes of her being gone, Emma decided she was going to check on (Y/n). She was in still in the restroom, and after Emma asked her several times if she was alright or feeling upset, they chose to return to the front of the crowd. (Y/n) convinced her friend that she was just having an upset stomach from the drinks, despite them stopping by the bar so she could get another before they got back to the stage. Emma didn’t think anything of it and just assumed that since it had been a while since (Y/n) had alcohol, maybe she really was just having a stomach ache.
The band continued on for a while longer, taking a few breaks here and there to drink water and take requests. (Y/n) considered submitting a song to Niall, but she was hesitant to. Besides, several other songs had been yelled out from the crowd, along with some people pushing their way to the front to the stage to call out a song title. She assumed this wouldn’t be the last time Emma drug her out to one of Niall’s shows, so she’d just request something next time. Instead of waiting around for the final song, she returned to the bar on her own and ordered a shot. The memories of her brother were faded by now, but she was determined to flood them out with alcohol. Tonight was supposed to be fun anyway, not filled with sadness.
Emma cheered loud for the band as they finished their last song and said a quick thank you to everyone. (Y/n) was perched on a bar stool, her eyes filling with stars as she stared at the bar, trying to stay awake. The usual dj returned to the stage to get the music going for the patrons of the bar. It was obvious that some people only showed for the live music because a good bit exited out the door once the set was over, but it was still a pretty big crowd in the building.
“Hey! There you are!” Emma shouted as she walked to the bar, her hand reaching out to take (Y/n)’s. “Feeling okay?”
“Yeah. Just got some water.” She presented a drunken smile as she held up the small cup of ice water.
“Good! You need to take a break.” Emma grinned back, glad to see that (Y/n) was enjoying herself, but wary of how much she had consumed. “C’mon, Niall and the others are gonna be in the back room for the rest of the night.”
“Okay.” (Y/n) didn’t really have a choice on what to do as Emma yanked her off the bar stool and towards the beaded curtain she noticed earlier. It was sparkling from the lights reflecting on the crystals. “Where are we going?”
Emma gave her a laugh, amused by her obvious buzzed behavior, and just pulled her through the curtain. (Y/n) smacked a few strands of beads away from her face as they tried to tangle up in her hair. The same music that was playing in the main room was also playing in this one. She was intrigued by the new setting, curious to know what kind of important people would be filling it. Was it just for the bar’s usual customers or did you have to have some kind of pass? She wasn’t sure, the disco ball hanging from the ceiling distracted her and made the thoughts dissipate. Her eyes shifted around the room as she took in the new sights. Heavy velvet curtains dripped from the ceilings, covering the walls but not actually any windows they were simply decorations. There were three big, fancy leather sectionals placed in the room - two in each corner and one in the middle of the wall. Curtains hung to separate them, but they appeared to be pulled back tonight. Glowing purple lights centered on short tables in the middle of each couch lit up the leather, making everything seem magical and ethereal. She couldn’t miss the stripper’s pole that was in the middle of the small dance floor, elevated a few feet off the ground on an even smaller stage.
“Hi, Emma!” A girl appeared in front of them, and (Y/n) recognized her as the girl who was playing the keyboard on stage. The girl’s natural red hair was glowing under the mix of lights flashing in the room. “Who’s this beauty?”
Emma grinned, letting go of (Y/n)’s hand so she could gesture to her. “This is my friend, (Y/n). We live together.”
“Oh, nice to meet you!”
(Y/n) mustered up a polite smile and a small wave. “Hi.”
“This is Michelle.” Emma said, glancing at (Y/n) to make sure she was okay.
“You were awesome on stage.” She said to the girl who’s eyes she found to be pretty, the piercing icy blue lighting up even in the dark room.
“Thank you!” She nodded towards the table in the back corner. “I think we’ve claimed that one for the night if you girls wanna sit.”
“Sure!” Emma followed behind her, which led (Y/n) to do the same.
Michelle and Emma plopped down on the leather couch, immediately starting up a conversation as (Y/n) sat next to them, but not as close as they were together. She let her eyes move around the room again, searching for a familiar face. There were a handful of people already in the room, most of which were talking to a girl to place their drink orders. She moved her head a little, trying to see past someone. In that same moment, a security guard pulled back the beaded strings and let a group of people in. By the way they were dressed and how some of them had a smug look on their faces, she assumed these were the higher paying patrons of the establishment. Emerging from behind that crowd, (Y/n) saw Niall brush past the beads. His eyes roamed around until he spotted them in the back.
“Oh, there’s the guys.” Michelle nudged Emma to get her attention as she pointed towards them.
“Finally!” Emma jumped up as Niall got closer to them, she was ready to pounce on him. Their eyes met and he put on a big smirk for her, just as excited as she was to finally get his hands on her.
“Have you met everyone else?” Michelle asked as she slid over next to (Y/n), their thighs touching as she offered a kind smile.
“I’ve met Zayn.” She said with a soft sigh. “Kinda met Harry, but not really.”
“Oh, well, that’s Cory!” Michelle pointed to the guy that walked past Niall and Emma as they hugged and twirled each other around. “He plays bass.”
(Y/n) gave her a nod, silently letting her know she was paying attention. The guy approached the couch before Niall did, since Emma was holding things up with her pecks to his cheeks and lips. He gave Michelle a smile and shot his eyes to (Y/n). His brows furrowed and he held his hand out in a loosely pointing gesture towards her.
“Don’t think we’ve met.” He said, his confused look morphing to a smile as he sat in the spot across from her. “Niall told me Emma had a friend coming. (Y/n), right?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” She turned her lips up, giving him a gentle nod of her head.
“Not drinking tonight?” Michelle asked him with a cock of her brow as she noticed his empty hands.
He laughed back. “Harry’s bringing us a round.”
“Oh, of course he is.”
“Hey, (Y/n)!” Niall greeted her with a loud voice, happy to see that she was finally apart of their small crew. “How was the show?”
Emma took a seat on the opposite side of the coach, letting Niall claim the place closest to Cory. “I think she loved it!”
“It was so good. You guys are amazing.”
“Saw me shredding the fuck out of that guitar, yeah?” He joked, getting a laugh out as everyone rolled their eyes and smiled at him.
“You killed it, for sure.” (Y/n) took a sip of her water, wishing she had more than that was left in the cup.
“What are you drinking?” Michelle asked curiously.
She pushed out a breath. “Just water right now. I.. had a few already.”
“Your outfit is stunning. I love the top.”
Emma beamed as she heard the compliment. “I told you, (Y/n), you look so hot tonight!”
“I’ll say.” Michelle teased just as her phone buzzed in her hand, her eyes falling down to check the message.
(Y/n) felt a bit of uneasiness building in her stomach as she realized she was feeling out of place all of a sudden. Cory was also focused on his phone while Emma had thrown her leg over Niall’s lap and her arm around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. While she wasn’t with complete strangers, she didn’t really know Michelle and Cory. The only other person she knew hadn’t come over here yet, Zayn wasn’t anywhere near that she could see. Emma was distracted with Niall, leaving (Y/n) to fend for herself. She swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat and ran her hand over the ends of her skirt, adjusting it on the tops of her thighs. She reverted back to those insecure thoughts she had while on the drive here. Michelle was skinnier than Emma was, leaving her to feel even more vulnerable and uncomfortable. She tried to ignore it by picking up her head, wanting her eyes to catch something interesting to stare at for a bit - but instead she saw someone she recognized coming their way, two people actually.
“The party’s here!” Michelle announced as she, too, looked up and saw what was heading their way.
Everyone looked up to see Zayn walking to them, a girl on his arm, and Harry leading one of the bartenders from the front room to the table. The woman had a tray of beers balanced on her palm. Zayn sat down next to Niall, the woman holding onto his elbow sitting beside him. (Y/n) figured that was Alyssa - Emma had mentioned her several times while telling stories. The bartender sat the tray down and replied as Niall and Cory both thanked her for bringing them out. She disappeared, leaving them to all to reach for a cup.
“Take one, take one. Drink this damn shit.” Harry yelled with a joyful tone as he grabbed a cup before taking the space next to Michelle.
“Shit, I forgot to tell Harry about (Y/n).” Niall said with a groan, glancing at Emma as he got them each a cup.
“What?” Harry smacked his lips as he heard his name, not sure what Niall was referring to.
“My friend, (Y/n). She was with me at the shop when I got my tattoo.” Emma said, motioning her hand to where (Y/n) was sitting.
Harry leaned up to look past Michelle towards the person he had only briefly laid his eyes on before. He shrugged his shoulders, seemingly not concerned with her presence.
“I got the usual number, so she’s shit out of luck.” He casually said the harsh words.
Emma stood up to pass the drink to (Y/n). “She can have mine! Here, (Y/n), I’m not drinking anything else.”
She gladly took it and brought the cup to her lips, taking just a sip. That caught Zayn’s attention. He jolted up, pointing towards her with a grin on his face.
“Hey! I need to see you chug that since you’re so good at it.”
Emma clapped her hands together, remembering that she’s mentioned (Y/n)’s secret talent to him before. “C’mon, (Y/n)! Show ‘em how it’s done.”
“No, no. Not tonight.” (Y/n) let out a nervous laugh and slowly sipped the beer. It wasn’t her favorite drink, but she wasn’t going to be rude and turn down the offer.
Niall let a smirk grow on his lips. “I need to witness this, too. C’mon, we’ll get ya another one.”
She shook her head again. “I can’t, I might throw up. I’ve had a few.”
“What is it, can she chug quick?” Cory asked, leaning his elbow on his knee as he was now curious with the excitement coming from them.
“Fast as fuck, Cory. I swear, she’s insane.” Emma said with a proud smile.
“She’s exaggerating.” (Y/n) shook her head, trying to hide her flushing cheeks by turning her head.
Niall stood up, his cup still full, and stepped around the table to where (Y/n) was sitting. He grabbed her hand and yanked her up to her feet, laughing as she stumbled but quickly caught herself. Emma was cheering her on, knowing that Niall was about to challenge her.
“C’mon! Let’s see who can finish first.” Niall said, hitting his cup against hers, the liquid sloshing around in the clear plastic.
She let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes at them, aware that she wouldn’t hear the end of it if she chose not to do it. She cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and nodded.
“Fine.”
Niall boasted with excitement, screaming like his favorite team just won a game. Emma watched with a wide grin, her hands clasped together - she hadn’t seen (Y/n) have this much fun in a while, so she was ecstatic over it. Cory counted them down from three. (Y/n) relaxed her throat and let the liquid flow into her mouth. She closed her eyes, trying to dissociate herself so that she didn’t think about drinking quickly. The trick was to forget what you were actually doing and just.. do it. She was fairly good at the trick, seeming to perfect it. Niall still had about a third of his beer left when she dropped the cup on the table, not a single drop let.
Michelle jumped up and raised her hands high, screeching loud as she felt like she witnessed a miracle. Emma was laughing hard at the drop of Cory’s jaw and the impressed smirk on Zayn’s face.
“Fuck.” Niall choked out as he finished, his hand covering his stomach as he felt the beer rushing down his body.
“It’s all in the throat.” (Y/n) joked as she gave him a playful shove.
Niall chuckled, patting her on the back as if she achieved something so great. “M’glad you’re better with your throat than I am with mine.”
“Wait, wait. Now I’m feeling competitive.” Cory said with a laugh, glancing at his own drink that was still full.
“I can do one more, but that’s it.” (Y/n) said, her stomach bubbling from the contents filling it.
“Here. I barely drank any.” Michelle offered up her beer, more focused on the entertainment than drinking it herself.
“C’mon, let’s do it.” Cory jumped up, ready to put his previous years of being in a fraternity to the test.
Niall led the count this time, and as soon as the word ‘go’ left his mouth, (Y/n) had her lips on the rim of the cup, tipping it back into her mouth. Everyone watched again with amazement as laughter and cheers filled the space they shared. Well, all but one let out a joyful noise. Harry was sitting against the back of the couch with his arm over his chest, watching but seeming to not be amused by it. He thought Cory was being a flirt and Niall was just weak because he couldn’t get it down quicker than this girl.
“Damn, you’re good.” Cory couldn’t even finish his drink, he just gave up.
(Y/n) sat back down next to Michelle, who was definitely her newest cheerleader. Michelle had heard some positive things about (Y/n), so she was glad she was enjoying her company.
“I told you she was good.” Emma said with a smirk as if she had placed bets and won.
“Got a throat on you, for sure.” Cory sighed out as he fell against the couch, his gut churning.
Harry scoffed to himself. “Throat like a whore.”
Niall heard the comment, but he wasn’t sure who else did. He shot Harry a stern glare, but he obviously didn’t care. Michelle slid her arm around (Y/n)’s back and tightly gripped her shoulder, pulling them closer together.
“This girl is a champ.” She declared. “Welcome to the group, (Y/n). You’re officially one of the girls.”
Cory lifted his hand in a pretend toast. “It was an honor to get my ass kicked.”
“That’s a talent right there.” Zayn added, having not said that much tonight but he was definitely paying attention.
“That’s kind of gross.” Harry added to the conversation, a cocky smirk on his lips as he looked away from (Y/n).
She furrowed her brows lightly, catching what he said this time. “You’re probably just scared I’d beat you, too.”
It was most definitely the alcohol that was causing her to speak so freely to the person she knew the least about in the group of people surrounding her. Sure, she was confident in herself when she wasn’t sober and she wouldn’t let a rude comment slide by unnoticed, but she was ready to spit out another line if he tested her patience.
Harry snarled his lip up, not liking that she was speaking to him in that manner. “Please, you wish.”
Michelle was never one to shy away from talking back to Harry, so when she added a few words, (Y/n) was pleased to know she wasn’t fighting this battle alone. “You’re such a douche. You’d probably cry if she out drank you.”
Harry shot her a glance, but he wasn’t concerned with his friend’s comment. He wasn’t too content with the idea of some random girl he didn’t know coming into his circle of friends and grabbing all the attention. Maybe he was jealous, or maybe he really was just a douche.
“I wouldn’t be braggin’ about a loose throat.” He sat up, his elbows hitting his knees as he eyed (Y/n) with a cold stare. “Probably take down dicks faster than beer.”
(Y/n) didn’t feel comfortable with him staring at her like he wanted to throw his fists into her body. She pursed her lips in an effort to let it go, not wanting to start any unwanted drama among her newfound friends - well, some of them were friends. Emma nudged Niall and mumbled to him about controlling his friend, but Niall knew there wasn’t much he could do.
“Give it a rest, Harry.” He sighed out, knowing that if he didn’t at least try then Emma would be upset with him.
Harry let out an unamused laugh. “Truth hurts, Horan.”
“Y’don’t have to be a dick about it, Harry. Give the girl some respect.” Zayn added, taking a sip of his drink after. He was staring at the table, not even wanting to give Harry the extra attention of a spared glance.
“All m’saying is it’s not that impressive.” Harry shrugged, standing up so he could make an exit from the group and go occupy himself with something else. But before he walked away, he stopped in front of Michelle and let his eyes fall down to the girl he knew nothing about. “Does your mother know you drink like a grown man?”
“Har-“ Emma tried to quickly intervene, but it was too late. (Y/n) was already responding to him.
“My mom’s dead. So, no, probably not.” Her cold tone and narrowed eyes made
Harry gently furrowed his brows. He heard exactly what she said, but he didn’t seem to care. Niall got up to grab his elbow, knowing that he should do something before any more hurtful comments were made.
“C’mon.” He pulled Harry away from the seating area, mumbling something about him needing to relax.
“Sorry about him.” Cory was the first to apologize as Niall and Harry disappeared into the small crowd.
(Y/n) fell back against the couch, her arms crossing over her chest. She licked her lips and nodded to him, not wanting to talk for fear of losing control of her emotions. Michelle gently rested her hand atop (Y/n)’s thigh, not wanting to be too overbearing but hoping to give her some comfort.
“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I told Niall to make sure he was nice tonight.” Emma frowned, knowing that the comment Harry made would haunt (Y/n) for the next few days, if not longer.
“Yeah, he’s a bit of a dick.” Michelle said, a disappointment expression covering her features. “He doesn’t do well with change and.. I guess you being here is changing things. But it’s not your fault.”
“It’s fine. I.. I’m just going to ignore it.”
(Y/n) felt a burn in her chest that wasn’t from the drinks she downed minutes ago. This was a type of feeling erupting from the insults she caught. She was so upset with what was said to her, not just the thing about her mother, but more than that.. she was confused as to what she did that warranted that sort of treatment. Had she been rude to him by not greeting him like she did the others? He was so standoffish though, he didn’t appear to want to be spoken to. He acted like she wasn’t even sitting there when he walked up, even though he looked at her when he saw her next to Michelle. Was something said about her to him from someone else that he didn’t find appealing? Had Zayn not liked her when they met the second time, perhaps he made a comment to Harry? No, she shook that thought off. Zayn seemed to enjoy her company.
Cory mentioned something about getting a few shots, to which (Y/n) just nodded and agreed that it would be fun. He left the girls and Zayn alone, which made Zayn start up a conversation. (Y/n) was listening, but she wasn’t contributing. All she could think about was the rude behavior Harry displayed towards her. Surely, there must have been something she did to him. She couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Over towards the beaded curtain that was rattling from the vibrations of the music pounding through the building, Niall stood in front of Harry with a clearly irritated look on his face. Harry leaned against the wall, listening with a blank stare as Niall scolded him.
“Are you fucking serious? Why are you so rude?” Niall spat out, throwing his hands up in the air as the disbelief stuck in his mind. “Emma invited her out, you have no right to be such a dick to her.”
“I don’t fuckin’ know the chick.” Harry shrugged, not caring to listen to Niall’s parenting but he knew he couldn’t escape just yet.
“It doesn’t matter, Harry. I told you she was going to be here tonight and to be fuckin’ polite to her. At least treat her like she’s a person and not a piece of garbage.”
Harry huffed and moved his eyes to Niall’s. “I don’t know her. I don’t care about being polite to her.”
Niall shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. “Get to fuckin’ know her then. She’s not going anywhere, that’s Emma’s friend. Act like you have sense.”
“Look, I didn’t fuckin’ know her mom was dead.”
Niall wanted to wring his neck, he wasn’t getting the point. “It doesn’t matter! Act nice. Pretend to have a fuckin’ heart for once.”
Harry pushed himself off the wall, the conversation now boring him. He gave Niall a wave before deciding it was best if he just found a distraction for the rest of the night. Niall couldn’t quite understand why he was being so rude to (Y/n), but there was nothing else that he could say. If his words worked, then that would be a miracle.
(Y/n) sat there quietly for a handful of minutes, ignoring the small talk that was going on around the table. Her eyes were roaming out through the crowd that had thickened since Niall stormed off with Harry in tow. The pole fixed to the ceiling was now occupied by a dancer in a lace bodysuit, strategically placed rips and holes scattered on the fabric. She seemed to have some of the people’s attention. One person she didn’t have, though, was Harry, and (Y/n) took notice of that only because she saw him with his forearm secured around some woman’s waist. He had pulled her close to him, smirking and biting his lips as the woman spoke to him.
(Y/n) wasn’t intending on finding him in the crowd to gaze at him, it just sort of happened. She was unfamiliar with the surroundings, so her eyes fixated on something she recognized - even if it wasn’t the nicest person she’d ever met. He was completely unaware of anything happening around him, all he was concerned with was what lived between that woman’s legs. The sight of him groping her ass and leaning down to whisper things in her ear left a nasty taste in (Y/n)’s mouth. She found it unpleasant to witness. That sort of thing should be private.
Michelle suddenly interrupted her trance with a pat to her leg before she stood up. “Do you wanna dance?”
(Y/n) looked up and let out a nervous laugh. “I think I’m okay sitting here for a bit.”
Michelle groaned and grabbed her hand, tugging her up with all her strength. “C’mon! Let’s go have some fun!”
She couldn’t stop Michelle from dragging her into the crowd, so she just let it happen. Emma gave her an encouraging cheer before they vanished from the table. The girls were shoving between people to find a more open spot on the dance floor, and once Michelle was pleased with where they ended up, she turned towards (Y/n) and grabbed onto her waist. She decided it was best to just let all those thoughts about the things Harry said and the way he acted go. Tonight was meant for fun, not dwelling. She relaxed her body and began swaying to the music with Michelle.
“That ass!” Michelle teased in a loud shout as (Y/n) shook her hips to the song that was blasting through the ceiling.
All she could do was laugh as a layer of blush covered her cheeks. The music was rattling the building and the alcohol was still cycling through her veins. She was enjoying herself again, no longer fixated on that song or those comments. It wasn’t long until Emma and Niall appeared next to them. Emma turned towards them while Niall placed himself behind her, hands secured on her waist. The three of them danced and sang along with the music while Niall mostly laughed and kept his hands on Emma.
(Y/n) had been nervous about going out tonight - not only going to a new place, but meeting a group of new people. She was worried that her first impression wouldn’t be good, that they wouldn’t like the energy she brought. It was obvious that all of them, aside from Harry, actually enjoyed her company. Even though she didn’t get a chance to talk to a few of them, like Alyssa, the way she did Michelle, she was confident that her impression was well made. The pulsing of the music through her ears pushed out the thoughts regarding Harry. Maybe he was just in a bad mood, or maybe he was just a bitter person. She didn’t know for sure, and she didn’t care that much anymore.
Niall disappeared to get himself a beer, leaving Emma to take (Y/n)’s hand and lift it in the air, jumping to the beat of the song and screaming the lyrics. Michelle was thrilled to have another girl to be around, and she hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time they saw each other. She knew she’d have to beg Emma to let her and (Y/n) get together again. (Y/n) wasn’t surprised by Emma’s energetic, sober performance. She didn’t need alcohol running in her system to enjoy a good song. The night was starting to feel endless and free, in the best way. That wouldn’t last too long, though.
At some point, her eyes were absentmindedly looking over Michelle’s shoulder and were pretty much out of focus until her brain registered that familiar face again. Harry. She tried to look away, but she couldn’t force herself to as she saw that same woman he was with earlier place her lips on his. Something deep inside of her gut churned and she furrowed her brows at her own thoughts. She shook her head lightly and cut her eyes away from them. Almost as if there was a gravitational pull she couldn’t stop, her eyes shifted back to him after a few seconds.
His hair was slick with sweat, his curls shining under the flashing lights. The sweat on his skin shined like diamonds as the woman ran her hand down his forearm. Her nails scratched over the tattoo he showed off at the shop, veins popped out and skin tight around his muscles. It was like she noticed every single thing about him. Someone got in her way, blocking her view entirely. She huffed and looked towards Emma, who was still singing happily to the song playing.
(Y/n) was genuinely confused as to why she was thinking about him so much. Why did she care what he was doing? Why did she care who he was with? She hardly knew him. She rolled her eyes to herself and lifted her head in time to see Niall walking up, three drinks in his hand. He offered one to her and one to Michelle. They cheered together, laughing as Niall stumbled his way back to Emma. She jumped back into the song and started singing again, enjoying herself for the rest of the night.
—•—
When morning rolled over, (Y/n) didn’t move an inch in her bed until well after eleven o’clock. She knew Emma would sleep in with Niall, so she didn’t bother trying to be up before them. Niall stayed over every now and then, and of course he always requested a meal be made if the girls were up for it. (Y/n) was put on breakfast duty since Emma said she’s better at it. Niall slurred a quick beg to her last night before Emma drug him to the bedroom to get changed and tucked in. (Y/n) agreed to it, despite knowing her head would be pounding in the morning.
And it most definitely was. She groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, the sunlight peeking through the curtains was enough to blind her. There was no point in sleeping any more of the day away, so she reluctantly got out of the bed after taking a few minutes to compose herself. Her arms stretched high above her head, her back popping as she twisted slightly. She sighed in relief, a weight was lifted from her as her body contorted with her stretches and groans.
Her trip to the bathroom presented her with a horrific reflection in the mirror. Her makeup had not been properly removed before she fell into her bed last night, and her hair was a wreck. She debated on taking a shower, but eventually decided it would be best to get it over with. Emma and Niall were still passed out down the hall, so she wasn’t worried about waking anyone or not having the food done in time. Niall would definitely still want breakfast no matter the time.
After her quick shower, she got changed into a set of loungewear and headed to the kitchen. She gathered all the items from the refrigerator and the cabinets, staying mindful of Niall’s large appetite. He did say he would throw in some money on their next grocery run, so she wasn’t concerned with rationing any particular item. She wasn’t in there very long by herself. Emma strolled in after a few minutes, having smelled the food starting to cook.
“Good morning, sunshine.” (Y/n) smirked as she saw Emma’s tired expression and tangled hair.
“Morning.” She mumbled back. “Niall slept like an animal last night.”
“Did he move around a lot?”
Emma groaned. “A lot? He moved constantly. Usually he doesn’t. I’m so tired.”
(Y/n) held back a laugh and just smiled. Emma sat down at the dining table, her eyes focused on what (Y/n) was doing. She just watched in silence for a while, too tired to say anything. They were by themselves for the majority of the cooking process. The bedroom door opened down the hall, but the bathroom door shut moments after. Niall spent a bit of time in the bathroom, which made Emma groan and hope that he wasn’t throwing up or suffering a bad hangover. He had quite a few drinks.
Eventually, almost the same time the food was ready, he walked in the kitchen with a smile on his face. Emma rolled her eyes as he tried to give her a kiss and a hug, and an apology about sleeping so roughly. (Y/n) let out a chuckle as he threw his hands up in defeat.
“Thanks for cooking, (Y/n).” Niall said once he fixed his plate and sat down at the table with them.
“You’re welcome.”
Emma looked up from her plate and gave Niall a stern glare. He was confused at first, but when she shot her gaze to (Y/n), he miraculously remembered the conversation they had in the middle of the night when he woke Emma up complaining about his head hurting. It took them a while to fall back asleep, so they just talked for a bit.
He cleared his throat after taking a sip of his water. “Um, (Y/n).”
(Y/n) looked his way. “Yeah?”
Niall took in a deep breath and slowly pushed it out. He seemed a bit hesitant at first, but he was trying to figure out what to say. He licked his lips and leaned back in his chair, forgetting the food for now.
“I want to apologize to you.”
(Y/n) dropped her brows, spared Emma a glance, then looked back to him. “What?”
He lightly sighed. “Harry.”
She was still unsure what Niall meant for a few moments, but suddenly everything came crashing back into her mind. She adjusted herself in the chair and started picking at the pancake with her fork, not really wanting to bring it back up but knowing she can’t avoid it now.
“It’s fine, Niall.”
“No, it isn’t.” Emma said, just as embarrassed by the situation as Niall was.
“He said some shitty things to you.. and I’m sorry. I.. I didn’t want that to happen, none of us did. Zayn sent me a text this morning telling me to tell you he was sorry, too.”
(Y/n) swallowed gently, surprised that someone else had reached out about the situation. She thought what happened was unfortunate, but she didn’t think she’d receive such a reaction from them. Emma had a frown fixed on her lips as she kept her eyes on Niall, waiting for him to continue.
“The last thing Emma and I wanted was for you to think our friends didn’t like you. They do, they really do. I can’t speak for him but.. the rest of us are sorry.”
“Niall, it’s not that big of a deal, I promise.” (Y/n) tried to sail past it, but it wasn’t going to go down that easy.
“Yes it is, (Y/n).” He breathed out. “He’s an ass and he says some messed up things. We’re all used to it.. and you aren’t. You shouldn’t have been spoken to that way.”
For a second, she was just ready to ignore it all again, but she changed her mind. Niall was genuinely upset and trying his best to make up for it, and she could tell Emma felt the same way. She remembered how everyone reacted when Harry said what he said last night. She thought about the way she saw Cory pinch his nose and shake his head in disbelief, and how Alyssa smacked Zayn’s arm in an attempt to get him to intervene. She remembered all the little things each of them did and how they all seemed to be in shock, embarrassed, or annoyed with it.
“Okay.. I accept the apology.” She finally said, trying to give him the best smile she could. “I promise, it’s okay.”
“I’ll beat his ass if he says something like that to you again.” Emma crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.
Niall couldn’t resist laughing at her, and (Y/n) quickly joined her. Although the previous night had a rollercoaster of events, she was glad that she had this new group of people to consider as her friends. For now, she’d just forget about Harry and focus on the positive memories she was able to create. As far as she was concerned, she would be perfectly fine if she never saw him again.
[a/n: I’ve been very sick these past few days but I wanted to get this out so pls ignore any spelling mistakes and all that, I’ll fix them later. if you want to be on the taglist, let me know! anyways, hope you enjoy this! love uuu! Also just a reminder that while this is lhh, he’s older in this series than actual lhh was]
-> this is a temporary message I will delete later on::: if it bothers you that I did not name this character and you think I should based on how I’ve written her so far, feel free to vote on a name change.. if you don’t care about it, also feel free to select that and submit your vote! Here
-> well here’s a second temporary message, I’m about to go insane about this first poll so please read this post!
taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @victoriasigaard @ariiscringe @harlowsgirl l @lomllover @haniaaa04 @sideboobrry11 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @fangirl509east @fruity-harry @sassamanda77 @lizsogolden @prettygurl-2009 @boopookie @mypolicemanharryyy
#harry styles#harry#harry styles smut#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurbs#one direction#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles stuff#harry smut#enemies to lovers#lhh smut#lhh supremacy#lhh!harry#lhh#harry styles fic#harry styles story#long hair harry#harrystyles smut#angst#fem reader#original story#harry styles series#series#harry styles mature
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Twisted Games- Meetings
Growing up with a hitman for a father, Andy Barber has never wanted to go near the mafia and used the money from the family to go to law school. When Steve Rogers offered him help after a hit on his family, he was more than happy to ensure no more unnecessary hits were made. As long as everyone is at arms’ length, he can keep them safe.
I want to take the time to give a MASSIVE shout out to @stargazingfangirl18 , who not only read this over for me but also has listened to me ramble and brainstorm over this AU and gave me amazing advice. This series wouldn't exist without her ❤️ I hope you all enjoy! If your name is not tagged it means I physically can't tag you, but I will be redoing my Tags soon so please keep an eye out for that!
Masterlist Buy Me a Coffee
The sun sparkles over the water of the Harbor, starting to set over the horizon as I review the documents for the umpteenth time. Though the hours are long, it’s been well worth the investment. Taking out money from a waitressing job was a huge risk, especially for someone who can’t afford college or a car that ran without being patchworked together, but somehow I turned a small business worked in the little time between jobs into a booming construction company, expanding into design and even buying out several companies in the greater Boston area.
“Ma’am? Your appointment is here.”
Speaking of.
I relax back a bit as I watch the lawyer slip inside, my assistant nodding once before shutting the door behind her. In other circumstances he would be a welcome distraction- short but soft brown hair styled up, a full beard with just the slight hints of grey, and the most beautiful baby blues I’ve ever seen. Tall and well-built, it’s no wonder Andy Barber has the reputation he does.
“Good Afternoon,” He greets smoothly, relaxing in his chair as he grabs his file folder. “I’m assuming you’ve reviewed everything?”
“Of course,” I lock the computer and move to my own paper copy, lazily opening it with a finger. “You’re nothing if not thorough, Mr. Barber.”
He hums, a slight smirk on his lips. “Well, it’s part of the job. Mr. Rogers wanted to make sure everything was covered.”
Yes. That.
“I saw that,” I flip through to a specific section, humming once. “Unfortunately, I’m still not interested in selling.”
Mr. Barber raises an eyebrow, watching me carefully. “Mr. Rogers has offered an unusually high payout for this company. If it’s stability you’re concerned about, he’s clearly stated money is no object.”
“It’s no object for me either, the answer is no.” I let the file close with a little smack, relaxing against my chair. “Will that be all?”
Mr. Barber shifts to lean closer, toying with a pen. “On a personal level, I think you may want to reconsider. Mr. Rogers has hired me for all of his business dealings; I know how he works. He’ll wait as long as it takes to acquire the company.”
I mirror his movements, leaning closer and crossing my hands on the desk. “I’ve done my own research, Mr. Barber. I’m fully confident that I will not be signing any deal that hands my company over to him.”
He makes a noise, putting away the file and slowly rising to his feet. “I’ll inform Mr. Rogers of your response. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again shortly.”
I hum, watching him until the door shuts before sagging against the chair with a breath, glancing over at the clock and seeing how late it is. I turn to look out at the skyline again, biting my lips as I let my mind wander.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow we can plan for the next one.
…
“I assume it didn’t go as planned?” Steve muses, pouring a glass of bourbon as he watches Andy pace the floor of his private office. Though the leader of the group, the blonde looks innocent, almost angelic with his bright blue eyes and clean shaven appearance. He's a walking Greek god, a perfect covering for the horns holding up the halo.
“She turned the offer down. Again.” Andy fumes loosening his tie as he continues to pace, flipping through the file for the hundredth time.
“Is this the third time? Or second?” Steve leans against his desk, eyebrows raised as he looks over his drink, downing it in one swig.
“Third offer. Second refusal- no one ever refuses your deals.” Andy turns, unamused by Steve’s expression. “I even warned her you wanted to continue negotiations. She said money wasn’t an object and sent me packing.” He sighs, accepting the new glass Steve offers. “I told her I’d let you know and be in touch.”
Steve smirks, hiding it behind another drink. “See if you can find what she wants, come up with an agreement. Take her to one of our best restaurants.” He lets his shoulders relax, taking a moment to observe how ruffled the lawyer is. “I have to admit, this is refreshing.”
“Fuck off,” Andy mutters, finishing the glass. “I’ll get to work tomorrow.”
Steve hums, taking a slow drink. “I mean it. I haven’t seen you this animated in a while.”
Andy hums, rolling the ice in his glass. “I can’t get a read on her. It’s frustrating, you know how long I've worked on our offers being airtight? We’re more than generous when we buy out.”
“Well, it’s good for you. Something different.” Steve takes his friends’ empty glass, setting them aside. “I trust you to handle it. I’m not sparing any expenses, this would give us control over the other side of town. More leverage.”
Andy nods, glancing at his watch. “I’ll make it happen.”
“Andy?” Steve waits for the man to pause and look back, hand still on the handle. “Take her to that high rise restaurant.”
“I’m not taking her on a date.” Andy swiftly leaves, leaving a new voice to laugh from their place lounged on the sofa.
“You’re setting up the hard ass?” Lloyd muses, smirking over his drink as his rings gently tap against the glass. His loafers are shining in the light as he crosses his ankles, thick mustache doing nothing to hide his amusement. “You really think this is a good idea?”
Steve hums, moving back to his seat. “You’re complaining?”
“Fuck no.” Lloyd grins, continuing to spin his knife in his fingers, enjoying the way it glints from the lamp light. “Just determines whether I plant those cameras in his office.”
“No.” Steve focuses on his computer. “But send him my black card. I’ll cover his ‘dinner’.”
Tags: @janeyboo @mylittlefandomfanfictions @palaiasaurus64 @averyrogers83 @guera31 @soulmates8 @coffeebooksandfandom @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @pegasusdragontiger @mizzzpink @onetwo3000 @see-you-again-my-sun-and-stars @sleepylunarwolf @wheresmyplums @smoothdogsgirl @marvelouslyme96 @esoltis280 @jtargaryen18 @k-evans-writes @rainbowkisses31 @buchanansebba @katiew1973 @patzammit @time-for-a-lullaby @openup-yourmind
Twisted Games: @hangmanscoming
#twisted games#twisted games au#andy#andy barber#andy x reader#andy barber x reader#andy au#andy barber au
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:D thanks for the tag!!!!!!
last song: die alone by the brobecks!!! i’m so happy it’s on spotify now!! :3
favorite color: green!! all shades but if you wanna get specific I like a dark forest green
Last book/fic: The last book I finished was Gaza Writes Back, a collection of short stories written by young adults in palestine, it was really good but super dark and I cried multiple times while reading it. I’m currently reading Paper Towns by John Green, and the last fic I read was probably some random MCR fic😭
Last movie: The Boy in the Heron!! I got it on dvd for Christmas and re-watched it on new year’s eve with my family :3
Last Show: BBC sherlock!!!! i just finished season 3 episode 1 the other day and it’s probably gonna take me another year to finish watching the show because i’m slow as fuck and i have too much homework 😭
sweet/spicy/savory: probably sweet because i wasn’t allowed to have sugar until i was like 12 so i’m addicted now
relationship: single and not looking :3 i need to focus on my mental health atm
last thing i googled: “what does HAPP stand for APUSH?” i’m dumb and i forgot😭
current obsession: ADAM AND SAM! AT THE DISCO ITS A PODCAST AND ITS SO SILLY!!! and also making kandi and playing minecraft :3
I look forward to telling you: i wanna be your friend but i’m soooo bad at talking to people :( I THINK UR SO COOL AND I LOVE YOU/p !!!!!!
@whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go @squiggitysquonk @far-cry-from-finality @chemicalarospec @my-chemical-deficiency
10 people I’d like to get to know better
10 people I’d like to get to know better
Since I had two separate tags in this, @spaceyjessa and @laughhardrunfastbekindsblog I decided I would make a separate post.
Last song: with lyrics: Beautiful Boy by The Last Dinner Party (I found out about this band like two weeks ago and now I’m going through a phase I’m obsessed)
Without lyrics: I am ready by Kevin Kiner & Sean Kiner: from the bad batch season three soundtrack. Been listening to it a lot lately, as it feels pretty prevalent to the time of my life that I’m at
Favourite color: light pinks and baby blues
Last book/fic: the last book I finished was defy the storm, by Tessa Gratton (I’m getting closer and closer to being caught up on THR)
Fic: Mace Windu fixes the timeline (You should read it, it’s wonderful)
Last movie: the rise of Skywalker (yes, I love the sequel trilogy and what about it 💅)
Last show: the bad batch... I’m re-watching, again... how predictable 🙄
Sweet/spicy/savory: I have a big sweet tooth, especially when it comes to chocolate
Relationship: single real life, but in love with countless fictional characters inside my head🤩
Last thing I googled: what does the quest cookies and cream protein bar taste like? (look, I have arfid. I can’t just buy new things to try without knowing exactly what I’m getting into first)
Current obsession: Star Wars, duh! Specifically clones and TBB, the Mandalorian and the high republic
I look forward to telling you: that if you’re reading this you’re wonderful
No pressure tags (and I’m sorry if you’re being tagged again) @clonethirstingisreal @eobe @dystopicjumpsuit @sunshinesdaydream and anyone else who would like to.
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I hate it when I headcanon a character who’s canonically a girl as a trans man and make ships of him and a character who’s canonically a guy and I refer to it as a gay/mlm/guyxguy/whatever ship and someone gets mad. Like omg let trans people have FUNNNNN. Why are queer headcanons and genderbends cool until they’re saying that the character is trans???
“OMGGG you’re so misogynistic I can’t believe you would erase FEMALE representation!!!”
and like half of the characters in the franchise are women, and a total of… NONE of the characters are trans men. Also, my headcanon doesn’t change the source material. If my stuff upsets you, you can block me and go engage with the source or maybe every single other fanwork, since mine is the only trans man hc for this character that I’ve ever seen.
or when people are like “WTF??? this is so transphobic!!! how dare you imply that a character who looks like that could be a trans man?!?! do you think that trans men are women or something??? she uses she/her, and you’re misgendering her!”
No, I don’t think that being a trans man makes you a woman or vice versa. That’s why it’s a headcanon, and the headcanon is that this character is actually a trans man and not a woman at all! You’ll never guess what pronouns most trans men had to use at some point in their lives, and you really won’t like it when you find out about pre-(or no-)transition trans men… or trans men who are in the closet… or trans men who don’t know that they’re trans yet.
“But the character is a kid!!! Saying they’re trans is sexualizing them.”
I’ve seen this one from other queer people. Like did you miss when all of the homophobes said this about your identity, or do you think that bigotry is only bad when it’s directed at you?
“Why would you say ‘testosterone could fix her’??? Are you trying to call her a delusional woman?”
Why would your brain even go to that first? This literally has to be a bad faith reading, because there’s no way that someone could see what I said and get this unless they were specifically looking for something to be mad at me for.
(Note for anyone unaware: “Estrogen would’ve fixed him!” was a meme going around at the time I said this. I’m not sure if it’s still super big, but this was a joke to the effect of that.)
“So girls can’t be tomboys anymore? You just wanna trans everyone?”
This is like actual real life transphobic rhetoric. This isn’t even just shitting on my headcanon, but in fact, sending transphobic hate to a trans man. Thanks 👍. Maybe you should go send JK Rowling another message about how much you loved her essay instead of bothering me.
#transgender#trans#trans man#transandrophobia#<- not all of it but the ‘it’s misogynystic to be a trans man!!!’ part is. esp because it’s something that people say about real trans men#is this inspired by a Tik tok about how making male characters women is empowering and making female characters men is misogyny?#(although that post was weirdly about genderbending gay ships? idk why that’s discourse going around 😭😭😭. I miss old fandom sometimes.)#not exactly. although the comments on it sucked. I’ve seen multiple variations of posts like that and all of their comment sections made me#feel like I was wading through raw sewage with how full of shit the commenters were.#I saw one violently threatening anyone who portrays a canon girl as a man (in stupid Tik Tok speak)#oh Feng Min… oh Hilda Pokémon… oh Y PokéSpe… you’re all beautiful young men to me#nonbinary hcs also get you that last one super hard#I haven’t seen as much of this about hcing canon guys as trans girls other than posts where op says ‘name a girl character who (blank)!’-#and then makes an addition that you’re an evil misogynist if you said a MALE!!! (even though Brock Pokémon is a transbian to me </3)#which icks me out so bad. omfg. like she’s a girl to ME!!! so maybe that’s why I’m naming her under a post about GIRLS!!!#I imagine that most of the reason for not hearing much about it is because these types of headcanons just… really aren’t common#so if you have a bunch of experience with headcanoning characters who are canonically men as trans girls and the hate that it gets you then#feel free to add on (and also please talk to me about your headcanons… there are so few of us. we need to stick together!!!)#it’s not derailing despite this post specifically being tagged about trans men#that’s just bc that’s all that I talk about in my original post#this post has been in my drafts in different forms for probably like months#long post#I guess#anyone remember a while back when someone on this app got violently mad that someone put a character (canonically a guy) in the m/m tags on#ao3 bc the guy was hced as trans in the fic#and the post was like ‘grrr the ao3 gender ship things are talking about GENITALS!!! not gender!!! I’m not transphobic though <3.’#so now to imagine what it’s like to hc a character who’s canonically a girl as a trans man just imagine that but it’s worse and also you’re#getting it from other trans people too 👍
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gen loss dump part 2 :]
i have a gen loss playlist so the last two was me hitting randomize and drawing a pic based on the song before it finished. the second one technically isn’t that cause charlie’s inferno isn’t on apple music cause they hate me so it’s way more of the song out of spite because they wouldn’t give it to me.
#spotify is prolly better (definitely is for finding playlists i use spotify to find playlists still and then add those songs to my own lmao#but dad pays for a family apple music subscription and free music streaming is infinitely better then paying for my own spotify#also my wound reference i feel like i let him off easy from the seven foot tall wire security monster#but idk this was drawn a year ago idk what i was doing#like i agree w the vest just being REALLLL bad bruising and internal stuff but i feel like he had wayyyy more open area besides that to get#fucked up besides just his arms#but i guess since the wire monster also got turned off by the button since it didn’t immediately go at ranboo next then maybe that’s still#reasonable idk#generation loss#generation loss fanart#ranboo fanart#continuing my not spamming tags trend so even though i bc puls have tagged all three of them im not gonna#still posting this primarily for me and for everyone else second#OH THE OUTFITS ARE FROM MY PIN BOARDS#I MAKE OUTFIT BOARDS FOR EVERYTHING ITS SO FUN#LIKE EVERY FANDOM IVE POSTED HERE HAS ONE#ITS BAD#and then irl i wear sweats and t shirt lmao#i found mouse trap game board earrings#i spend too much time on those finding highly specific bullshit#the jrwi one is especially cringe cause i have a different section for all of the what ifs#and that shit lasted one (1) episode#also the full color drawing i’m so >:| about it#i need to practice coloring sooooo badly but i always get frustrated w it#i need to slow tf down idk#but thats also from nearly a year ago so
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I made the mistake of scrolling around on tumblr KNOWING I follow people who post about the new episodes soon after they come out and lemme just say.
#putting my prediction in the tags to hide them from people who also haven’t seen the whole episode yet in case I’m right#just gotta drown it out first so all the Dndads tags are after this I really wanna make sure it’s all hidden gjdhdjg#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#dndads season 2#dungeons and daddies season 2#I have seen not one but TWO PEOPLE posting about Rebecca and one of them included me and my husband and the other said they were grieving#i may be worried about the wrong person here but as an oak family enjoyer#who has said VERY RECENTLY that I am going to commit hand to hand combat with Anthony Burch if he kills One of the twins#I’m terrified Sparrow Specifically is about to kick the bucket and I’m going to have to go about my day like nothing happened#MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!!#I stand by that he might have a homunculus/his real body is in Oakvale#you can not go missing in Oakvale and tell me it’s o-a-Kay it’s fucking OAKVALE#edit: it was worse than expected ;0;
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Ao3’s search function is great overall but I really wish they had a way to distinguish background pairings from central pairings
#searching for good jeytiri fics is difficult because 90% of the fics they’re tagged in don’t really focus on them at all#they’re just a background element while the teen characters take the main stage#which is not what I’m looking for!!#while we’re add it if they could add “x-reader” to like the category tab or something that’d be great#so I can yeet ALL of them from the search results in one go instead of excluding ten gazillion individual tags#would also make it easier for the people who *do* like those kinds of fics to find them so hey win-win right :P#anyways yeah when I specifically search for jake x neytiri I want something FOCUSED ON THEM#not ‘’neteyam x reader but I’m still tagging jeytiri because they are a canonically a couple even though they’re irrelevant to this fic’’
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Tiny reliquary update: I got toothpicks and now I can get the main body of this thing put together! I wish I had my callipers though, they’re in my toolbox back at my mum’s place and they would make taking these tiny measurements so much easier but at least I have my steel rules :’)
#art talk#should I start tagging this stuff with a specific model making tag? like if people don’t really want these updates on their dash? idk#if you’re not particularly bothered about these kinds of posts where I waffle about drawing or crafts then just block ‘art talk’ for now#that’s the main tag I use for. well. talking about art lol#but anyway!!! I’m excited!!!!!#I get paid on the 8th so I’m going to take a walk up to the haberdashery and see what they have in the way of purple velvet#I need to stock up on thread and embroidery floss anyway because the last few patches I made cleared me out#I also want to see what beads they have#and maybe if I can’t find the things I need there I’ll go to hobbycraft instead#hhehehehehehhehe it’s been so long since I had a fun little project like this. I’m very happy :) :)
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Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on
#dragon#myart#creature#I still generally have inspiration for the first one so that one will probably get finished first#I really like watching the speedpaints procreate automatically records even though it’s crunchy and has a weird green tint#specifically on realism because it’s wild for anything else and is actually psychotic#Mostly because I just suddenly start experimenting with brushes and start turning layers off and on for a good chunk of it#I use 3 layers usually for realism#One for the actual drawing one for the sketch and one for a base color#It makes it better I think because it’s more similar to actual painting or something#That might not be the reason I dont really know#It’s just better I do it that way#Maybe because I can’t get distracted and lost?#Realism is also a great source of learning for me#Even if i never really finish stuff like this#I might this time though who knows#Sorry for leaving you guys stranded I’m chasing a really big train across the country#My priorities are with locomotives#“You guys” (I say to my very few followers 🤑🤑 (that probably followed me in the first place for dragon adventures stuff))#I do what I want and what I want is not dragon adventures right now#Right now I want locomotive#I’m not hijacking that train it sounds like I’m going to hijack that train#however#i would appreciate owning a big train I feel like I would enjoy that#Side note how do my DA followers feel about the genetic traits in the event eggs making motorouk w/ the error trait worth like 100mil#I feel ill when I can recite all of the full species names from memory#It does make sense though I’ve been playing since the first event in 2019#I’m committed what can I say#Almost forgot a tag oops#art
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after SIX YEARS (!!!!) of not drawing her bc of My Shit Teenage Life I have FINALLY redesigned my fursona. she’s goth now👍
↓ sappy stuff ↓
I doubt anyone who doesn’t know me irl is even remotely familiar with kelon but she’s very special to me, a product of my very first bits of real self expression all the way back in middle school, very near n dear to my heart. I’ve been wanting to resurrect her for Years but could never really figure out How bc I hadn’t figured out Myself yet, n I think I am finally finally Finally at a point where I can confidently make her a character that actually represents me(eeeeeeeeeee :3) instead of just making her look nicer n ending up still feeling disconnected. I’m happy that I waited but I’m even happier that she’s finally back. it maybe sounds corny n dumb but I don’t think I’ve felt Whole these past 6 years without having this stupid otter to doodle in the margins of everything. welcome back kelon!
(under the cut is a comparison to her first ever reference sheet, from 2016)
#this is also just fully an outfit of mine that she’s wearing. which makes me really happy :3#I’m so so thrilled that I’m the person now that I would’ve thought was the coolest in the world when I was in middle school#especially after Not being that for so long#I sabotage myself a lot yall. I don’t talk about it but I really really do#anyway. I designed her with an actual fursuit style (kemono) in mind this time instead of just going Vaguely Cartoony#isn’t that fun#though I will admit she Did end up a bit moshi monsters. but it’s ok I always liked those little cunts#sanders art tag#sander ocs#furry#furry art#fursona#GOD. I have fucking missed saying that I have a fursona#character design#she’s a eurasian otter btw! for those curious about Specific Type👍#kelon
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Me seeing someone with a cool name: oooooo, what if
Another part of my brain: no. we spent enough time getting to Jonah. we’re not doing it again
#occasionally I get the urge to just hoard names#I think it would be neat#but also like how would I even tell people that#like here’s a list of random ass names that I think sound kind of cool don’t even know if I like them for myself yet#also sometimes it’s a name that’s typically a girls name and if I went hey I kind of like this name I feel like I would end up getting#misgendered and I don’t want to deal with that#it’s so funny because I’ve always wanted to change my name and I wonder how much of that was trans stuff and how much was I just like other#names#like honestly there are points where boneworms feels like more of my name than Jonah#whatever that says about me#I think I got off the point but whatever it’s almost two am#j rambles#coming back to this to rant more in the tags#so like the current names I’m rotating in my head are Silas (not my favorite of the three and I already have a character named this but#still it’s cool) also Sylvester specifically to be called the nickname syl#and nova which I know is a more feminine name but also presenting masculinly with a feminine name would be very gender#love having a weird gender but I feel like other people would be weird about it in a bad way#it’s not like a don’t like Jonah but I think I’ve gotten too used to it if that makes sense#like yeah it’s my name but it’s not as fun anymore#I’m back again#silver is also a cool name#I should really go to bed instead of just adding to the notes of this post#wait wait wait wait#sylver#okay I’m done now#probably
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I don’t so much know a lot about the Danny Phantom fandom or the show because I was like 8 when I watched it but here’s a really cool idea for those CM and DP crossover fics is the idea that Shazam and Danny have shared custody over Captain Marvel.
Captain Marvel is not necessarily a living being but a spirit that imbues their hosts with the powers of his patrons and accentuates their heroic qualities, and as such theres a big issue in the back of their creator’s mind about what happens to them when they or their host dies because there would be a good chance his creation would be lost forever without an afterlife tied to them.
So Shazam uses the historama and his ability to access whatever point in the timeline he pleases and makes a deal with the most neutral domain of the afterlife and historically its most agreeable King who would strike a favorable deal: the king of the Ghost Zone, Danny Phantom.
In a sort of persephone like manner, when Captain Marvel dies they remain in the domain of the ghost king and when a host is found for them, they return to the living world to fulfill their duties and rejoin Shazam.
Shazam didn’t anticipate how attached Danny would grow to his creation or it’s hosts… or how much of an issue his choices in Marvel’s hosts would be when he picks little Billy Batson.
#Shazam and Danny having the worlds biggest custody battle while the rest of the gods just make bets#most versions of Marvel that are separate from Billy see shazam more like an authority figure so it’d be interesting to watch them struggle#with trying to see Danny the same way and Danny just sort of sees them as a baby#more specifically his baby that he’s responsible for until Marvel gets a new host#especially if you go with the idea that there’s two different kinds of ghosts: dead humans and nonhuman entities#marvel would definitely seem like a baby ghost in the second category sense.#bonus points if Marvel doesn’t remember their deaths and is caught completely off guard when Shazam & Danny start fighting over him & Billy#bonus bonus points if the JL gets tangled up in the drama#billy batson#I’m hesitant to tag DP but oh well#Danny phantom
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i don’t wish i was catholic but i wish i knew more about catholicism/christianity for the sole purpose of being slightly more insane about lapsed-catholic gallaghers
#truly an untapped treasure trove of Thoughts that i unfortunately cannot comprehend as a cultural hindu/theologic atheist#thankfully i have catholic friends whose knowledge i can mine >:)#and friends of other denominations shout out to my methodist buddy i love u my methodist buddy#faery-berry-blast my beloved <3#anyways i think fiona and lip are both atheists#lip is annoying about it though. aka he is the kind of atheist who make fun of theists for their beliefs#fiona does not give a fuck#she just doesn’t believe in a higher power#ian is religious (ik the gay jesus storyline was a manic ep but i do think it stems from genuine belief)#he is specifically catholic#debbie is vaguely christian but not really#as in she doesn’t like how going to church makes her feel but she’s dabbled in a bunch of other religions#and christianity feels right#i can also see her just being generally spiritual w/o a specific religion#carl and liam are both agnostic#they don’t rly know what’s going on up there [gestures vaguely to the sky] but they think there might be a higher power#who knows. to them god is like aliens: probably out there! we just don’t know what they’re like#humanoid or bacteria??? not sure. do they exist? yes#idc about frank all he ever did was look for different ways to be forgiven thru religion i hate him#monica and her fam were probably catholic though#this has gotten out of hand sorry#anyways. religion#i’m a staunch atheist but i love love love thinking about religion#i treat every religious text like a work of literature i’m tasked with writing english essays about and it’s so fun#shameless#shameless meta#gallagher siblings#fiona and her kids#sorry for these fuckass tags
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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