#low-empathy

[gengernoway]

✦、LOW-EMPATHY：PD-02

A flag for those that have low or little to no empathy. I didn't like the ones that existed so i put my own spin on it. : )

✦、TAGGING：@radiomogai

[ PT : low empathy: pd-02, a flag for those that have low or little to no empathy. I didn't like the ones that existed so i put my own spin on it. tagging: radiomogai. check our iwc, oomf. End of PT ]

[ thanks to webby-mogai for helping us with the frilly dividers ID ]

[demon-girl-izalith]

Something's been on my mind... As someone with low empathy, when I feel guilty it's always in relation to someone close to me who I do have some effective empathy for or for breaking one of my own "rules" (particularly the latter). But outside of that? I have a hard time understanding the extent to which others feel guilt. It seems to just tear them apart, I don't see it being all that productive or worth it, either. Is empathy that makes you feel like that really all that useful? Is it really helping you be kind? I'm not convinced...

I notice many people I care deeply about who have just astonishing and absolutely horrid amounts of guilt about everything! People I consider so close to me I see them as essentially a part of me, and sometimes the guilt they experience makes me angry because I don't understand it, but I do want them to feel better... Yet it makes me think... I wonder just how much this "pro-social emotion" that they have is actually something instilled in people to make them more controllable.

Is it really natural to have guilt like this? Sure, I may have even less than would be helpful at times to keep me out of trouble or make it easier to get along with those I love, but to begin with I'm not sure the "normal" experience or amount of guilt is truly "normal". I think it's socially constructed as a means of keeping people from taking action. Actions such as questioning authority, questioning the assumptions in their relationships, their own sexuality and gender... I don't know guys, I think our society may be one of control via copious and unseen guilt. Perhaps we should thank the puritanical churches and Catholics for that (speaking as a heretical Catholic myself), but I think it's something deeper even than the religious trauma. Perhaps it's tied to something even deeper.

I don't want the people I care about to feel guilty. I don't want to see them hurt. I want them to care about being kind intentionally, not because someone told them to feel bad if they didn't. Not because they were programmed to hurt themselves over something for an absolutely pointless reason. To be clear, I do not think guilt is pointless. Sometimes I wish I felt a little more if it would make things easier instead of meaning I had to intentionally think about if something is a good social decision or not... But the extent to which it seems prevalent surely is no coincidence.

[rory-moment]

me ranting L man i am PISSED. we are talking about empathy in class right now. I am autistic and on the lower empathy side. I can feel it, but only in certain situations, and I have to be close to the person. otherwise its not there much at all, i'd say. teacher said "raise your hand if you think you have empathy" and i didn't. everyone except me and a few others raised their hands. teacher says something, and then she says "what about our friends who don't have empathy? what kind of friend is that?" and i am so mad. people with low empathy are not lesser or monsters or ANYTHING. we can be good friends. we are not bad people.

[apollos-boyfriend]

they hated him for his low-empathy autism swag

[youlookkindadead]

i've seen quite a bit of confusion about this, so let me attempt to clear things up :

empathy is the ability to feel somebody's emotions as though they are affecting you personally. for example, somebody tells you "my dog died last night!" -> you now feel as though you've lost a pet personally -> you feel grief and sadness just like the other person. not everyone has empathy. it's a trait some people develop and others don't. some have high empathy, some have low empathy, some (like me) have none.

sympathy is the ability to understand and care about somebody else's struggles, even if you don't feel them yourself. so, somebody tells you their dog died -> you realize how this affects them emotionally -> you care about this person, and are upset that they are suffering. not everyone has sympathy either! it's a scale, just like empathy.

compassion is doing something to relieve another person's suffering or make them feel better. somebody tells you their dog died -> you don't want them to remain upset -> you come up with ways to help them feel better, like offering comfort and distractions, or other forms of support. compassion is a learned trait, not something you can be born with like empathy or sympathy. anyone can learn to be compassionate, although some may struggle more with it than others; it's a skill, just like anything else.

however, none of these are required to be a good person. that's a choice you make on your own accord. i hope this clears things up!

[vulstare]

projecting my autistic coded struggles onto autistic coded character

[low-empathy-advocacy]

don't say "empathy" when you mean "helping others."

don't say "empathy" when you mean "moral values."

don't say "empathy" when you mean "taking people's problems into account."

don't say "empathy" when you mean "stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves."

don't say "empathy" when you mean "sense of justice."

don't say "empathy" when you mean "doing right things."

[lureithleon]

this bothers me a lot as someone with a low empathy score:

no, you cannot learn empathy. empathy is when you feel and share the emotions of the other person. your friend is sad? you feel sad.

you can learn to be understanding, and compassionate, and how to react when you don't feel those things, but you cannot learn to experience a sensation that you do not.

[mstrchu]

he has the juice

[orangegloom]

im curious. also please reblog for a larger sample size blah blah blah youve heard it before

[ps1demodisk]

Sorry I'm not low empathy autistic in the "mysterious loner boy who secretly cares about his friends and talks in a monotone voice" way and I'm actually just completely indifferent to the suffering of people I don't know personally and help strangers out of a sense of "this is the right thing to do" and not "I feel so bad for this person" or guilt.

I sit and listen to my friends even though I don't really care about hearing about their problems because I know they'll be upset if I don't, and despite the fact I honestly can't genuinely care about the issue itself, I care about the impact it's having on my friends and that's enough to make me want to help them through it.

Did you know that's actually an expression of empathy all of its own?

It will absolutely happen again I literally am not even sorry

[infiniteorangethethird]

I don't know where this "if you don't feel love/empathy you're evil" idea comes from like if you can only be decent towards people if you love them/feel empathy towards them then I'm pretty sure I'm not the one mistreating more people of the two of us

[rory-moment]

i am not a monster for my low-empathy. i am not lesser than you. i am not sub-human. i am not a bad person. i am not evil. i am not a serial killer. i am not a freak.

I AM NOT A MONSTER.

[wheelie-sick]

this is an unpopular take but actually yeah sometimes having low empathy does hurt people. it just doesn't mean that we're irredeemable monsters who need to be sterilized for the good of society.

sometimes low empathy makes people say unintentionally cold, mean, or downright cruel things

sometimes low empathy leads to a lack of care for others causing people to behave in hurtful ways intentionally

sometimes low empathy means that someone lacks understanding of why something is hurtful leading them to double down when confronted about it

sometimes low empathy makes attempts at offering sympathy clumsy and upsetting

sometimes low empathy can lead to attitudes about bullying such as "well I'm just telling [what I think is] the truth" without recognizing that certain comments can be hurtful even if you believe them to be true

while these actions are not acceptable or productive the big thing about them is that they can be learned from. not everyone can learn empathy- that's okay. everyone can learn to be a kinder, more considerate person.

denying that low empathy can lead to harmful behaviors does us no good. it erases many of us in favor of appearing respectable to the people who do not respect us.

yeah, I have low empathy. yeah, I have hurt people because of it- sometimes on purpose. I have learned from it. stop trying to make me the "wrong type of low empathy" or deny that the things I did were directly linked to my low empathy just because you think it makes you look bad. cool, you're perfect and your low empathy has never hurt someone but that's not true of many of us and you don't just get to throw us in the garbage can because we're inconvenient for your "low empathy hurts no one" narrative.

[literallyagod]

Btw it's not cool to hate on people without empathy..

I don't care what your reasons are,, just cause I don't feel sad when you're sad doesn't mean in suddenly gonna murder your whole family or something

[titan-god-helios]

people who are good and kind and uplifting and say and do nice things for other people, solely for the purpose of gaining attention or upholding your reputation, i love you, and you still are good people.

i don't care if you're seething with anger or jealousy or hatred inside whilst you do the nice things. you're still a good person. i don't care if you're constantly criticising the other person in your head whilst you do nice things. you're still a good person. i don't care if the entire time you help someone or say something nice you're constantly thinking about yourself or how much you want them to say something nice back or only doing the good thing to get praise or for your own sense of achievement. you're still a good person. i don't care if you're messy or find it extremely hard to do nice things for others and in general. you're. still. a. good. person.