#lot of people bringing a LOT of baggage to my notes

[captainjonnitkessler]

Me: In November, either Trump or Biden will win. There is no third outcome, so we should vote accordingly for the option that will mitigate the most harm.

The people in my notes: Oh, so you think direct action is bad? You think voting is literally the only thing we can do? You hate activism? You love Biden and endorse everything he does and think nobody should criticize him ever? You think voting will just magically solve all our problems? You think protesting is wrong? You love the status quo and think everything is fine?

[allisluv]

Emily prentiss x single mom!reader, Emily introducing her new gf reader and her kid to the team?

meet the family -- e.p

summary: emily introduces you and your daughter, verity, to the team.

pairing: emily prentiss x single mom!reader

word count: 1.1k

content warnings: derek being a lovable menace and interrogating reader but he's just worried for emily! apart from that, i don't think there is anything else but if there is, just lmk! <3

author's note: thinking about turning this into a series so feel free to send in as many scenarios for these two as you'd like! <3

when emily tells you that she wants to introduce you to her friends from work, you're nervous, to say the least. you've heard great things about the bau— not only are they damn good at their job, they also treat each other like family.

you're sure they're lovely people, honest, but part of you wonders just how nice they will be when they find out you have a daughter. you've been going out with emily for the better part of six months, and while she has been nothing but supportive of you being a single mother, that doesn't mean everyone else will be as understanding.

over the last four years, you've faced a lot of backlash about being a single mother. in fact, you had started to give up hope altogether on finding someone new. people do not like to take someone on when they have priorities or "baggage", as one man called it. you were debating taking down your tinder profile when emily messaged you— and boy were you glad she did.

"relax, my love," emily soothes, resting her hand on your thigh as she focuses on the long stretch of road ahead. "it's just dinner. and i promise they don't bite. well, derek might, but he's all talk and i'll kick him in the balls if i have to."

you laugh, wiping your clammy palms down the front of your black blouse. "are you sure i look alright? i feel stupid in this skirt."

before emily can get a word in, verity pipes up from the backseat. "you look pretty, mommy."

you meet her eye in the rear view mirror and smile. her words settle your nerves ever so slightly. "thank you, honey."

"see?" emily quirks a brow. "verity knows her stuff, don't you, v?"

verity is too busy playing with her barbie dolls to give emily a proper answer, but she hums her agreement, which is good enough. emily brings your hand up to her mouth and presses soft kisses to your knuckles, something that she's learnt over the last few months that soothes you.

emily holds your hand, verity holding your other, as you walk into the restaurant. it's buzzing with life, and it's warm, which makes a change to the bitter cold outside.

you hear someone call emily's name, and your heart sinks into a pit in your stomach. as if she can sense your anxiety— and lets be real, she's a profiler, so she more than likely can— she squeezes your hand and leans down to kiss your forehead. "that's jj."

a blonde with bangs pulls emily into a hug as the rest of the team stand to their feet. before you have time to back out of the situation altogether, a woman with orangey-red hair squeals and envelopes you in her arms. "i'm penelope!"

"hi!" you giggle, placing a hand over your chest in an effort to keep your heart from beating so fast. you give her your name and she compliments you on how pretty you are. "thank you," you laugh.

as you go around the table, learning everyone's names-- david and jj and aaron and spencer and the infamous derek-- you feel a tug on your arm. verity's hiding behind your legs and you hoist her onto your hip, not caring who's watching. she winds her chubby arms around your neck, and buries her face into your blouse.

"who've we got here?" spencer smiles, trying to catch verity's eye.

you look to emily for help and she places a reassuring hand on your lower back. "this is my girlfriend, and her daughter, verity."

for a minute no one says anything, and you debate running back out the front door and away from the prying eyes. you swallow the lump in your throat as emily's thumb traces soothing patterns against your lower back.

aaron cracks a tiny smile, something that looks to be a rare occurrence, and puts his hands on his hips. "it's nice to meet you, verity. how old are you?" verity pulls her face away from where it's buried in your blouse for just long enough to hold up four small fingers. "i have a son, jack, who's just a little bit older than you! he's five! maybe next time i could bring him and the two of you could play together? how does that sound?"

verity flails her legs about, a sign that she wants to be let down. you oblige, and she stands by your side, gripping your hand like a vice. "does jack like superheroes?"

aaron grins. "he does indeed."

verity juts her chin out. "then it's a date."

the team erupt into laughter and derek mutters something fondly about how jack will have his work cut out with this one.

emily pulls your chair out and you sit down, offering your girlfriend a smile in return. she sits beside you and verity makes herself comfortable in the chair on your other side. "i couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice, i'm sorry."

spencer dismisses you with a wave of his hand. "don't be. 66% of babysitters are between the ages of 11 to 13 anyway. did you know that?"

you smile. emily had filled you in about spencer’s rambling. while some people found it annoying, you found it endearing. “i didn’t know that."

derek leans across the table, using his elbows to prop himself up. "so..." he says to you. "what are your intentions with emily?" penelope whacks him across the back of the head. "what? it's a simple question!"

your face flushes scarlet. emily takes your hand under the table. "well, my intentions with emily are strictly confidential, if you know what i mean." you bat your lashes and rest your chin in the palm of your hand. you cover verity's ears. "does that answer your question or do you need the nitty gritty details of our sex life, too?"

jj bursts into a fit if giggles, aaron almost chokes on his red wine and derek ducks his head to hide his embarrassed smile.

"she's fiery," david notes. "i can see why you like her, em."

"well, i'm in love with emily," you announce. "and, unfortunately for you guys, i'm in it for the long haul, so you're stuck with me." you catch derek's eye from over the rim of your cocktail glass. "have you got a problem with that?"

derek tongues the inside of his cheek, smiles, and shakes his head. "not at all. i hope you don't mind me being rude, i was just seeing if you could hold your own, that's all. no hard feelings?"

you shake his hand across the table. "no hard feelings."

emily lets go of your hand to fold her arms across her chest. "im glad the air is cleared between the two of you, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, i will castrate you."

"is that a threat?" derek muses.

"no," emily says, slipping her hand into yours. "It's a promise."

[writingwithcolor]

How do I respectfully discuss the topic of diversity with a co-author, as well as assigning a race to an “ambiguous” character?

Anonymous asked:

My co-author and I, for context, are both white and in highschool. For the main cast of our story, each of us ended up creating three characters. All three of her characters were white. Two of mine were white as well, alongside one character who is ambiguously brown-skinned. Do you have any advice on respectfully bringing up the subject of diversity to a co-author, even if it means potentially changing our established characters? Additionally, do you have any advice on retroactively assigning a race/culture to a character? I now understand after reading this blog that “ambiguously brown” characters should be avoided, but I did not when initially creating him. I worry that I could fall into stereotypes— while portrayed positively, he’s somewhat of a “nerd” archetype. But I don’t want to whitewash him either.

“Hey, why’d you think we made a mostly all-white cast?”

In other words: Just be normal about it. As you yourself note, you also didn’t exactly put a great deal of thought into the racial/ ethnic identity for your single brown character either, so it’s not just about your writing partner. This is about how you guys like to create as a team, and what sources of inspiration you both tend to gravitate towards. If a pair of high school students who write together can’t have a chill conversation about the races of the characters they are creating, then I’d worry more for their dynamic as a creative team. Discussions of race are only as weird and awkward as people decide to make them, and that’s often framed by the baggage each person is bringing into the conversation.

Whether or not you change the characters is up to you.

“Diversity is a marathon, not a sprint!”

Write diverse characters when and because you want to. I think the push for diversity is best when it’s self-motivated. Strangers on the internet telling you to do something is definitely not the reason to do it. I’ll note the same applies IRL. Otherwise, you’re changing your behavior for the sake of peer pressure. Writing groups on the internet like our blog do not exist to sit in judgment of your work. These are venues to discuss, critique and receive feedback, but the final choice always rests with you.

There’s not enough info for me to tell if the experience of whiteness is so intrinsic to your characters that changing their race will alter them greatly. I would argue the same for gender and sexual identity. Sometimes, changing dimensions of a character’s identity alters a lot about who they are. Other times, particularly if the character is not thoroughly fleshed out, changing their race only adds to their characterization. Only you can say which scenario applies here.

Other mods have written on how to handle your dilemma of “white as default” in an earlier post available here. Please explore our #POC Profiles for more inspiration. 

Your third paragraph can be answered by re-reading all 3 sections of the FAQ and exploring our archives using the tags. 

Marika.

[felassan]

Article: 'The Industry Is Divided On How To Write Video Game Romance', by Kenneth Shepard

Baldur’s Gate 3 is the latest big game to follow an inclusive (but divisive) trend in video game courtship

excerpts from the article are under a cut due to length and mentions and discussions of queerphobia, biphobia etc.

(note: I have censored the term "pl****sexual" throughout these quotes).

Some excerpts:

"In 2011, BioWare’s Dragon Age II portrayed its four main romantic conquests as bisexual, allowing them to be pursued by either the male or female version of main character Hawke. At the time, I was a young, mostly-but-not-completely out gay high school student, and I spent hours each week on the BioWare forums, hoping for some information about which men I’d be able to pursue as I ventured through the fantasy city of Kirkwall. When the game finally came out, much to my delight, there were no restrictions. I wasn’t forced into one choice like I was with the roguish elf Zevran in Dragon Age: Origins, or excluded completely like the first two Mass Effect games. The approach was met with predictable pushback from bigots, and Lead Writer David Gaider responded to criticisms that the game neglected the “main demographic” of the “straight male” in what became a core text about who deserves to be depicted in video game romances. He wrote: “The romances in the game are not for ‘the straight male gamer’. They’re for everyone. We have a lot of fans, many of whom are neither straight nor male, and they deserve no less attention. We have good numbers, after all, on the number of people who actually used similar sorts of content in DAO and thus don’t need to resort to anecdotal evidence to support our idea that their numbers are not insignificant... and that’s ignoring the idea that they don’t have just as much right to play the kind of game they wish as anyone else. The ‘rights’ of anyone with regards to a game are murky at best, but anyone who takes that stance must apply it equally to both the minority as well as the majority. The majority has no inherent ‘right’ to get more options than anyone else.” The idea that romances could be “for everyone” stuck with me, and with the video game industry. Dragon Age II was an early example of what has become colloquially known as “pl****sexual” experiences, in which every romanceable character is pursuable regardless of your character’s gender. Everyone got an equal piece of the pie. Queer people weren’t relegated to table scraps while straight people got to have a feast. But it turns out, giving everyone all the same options brings its own baggage, and in the years since Dragon Age II, developers are still struggling to find the best approach. The mother of invention According to Gaider, while Dragon Age II’s love stories have become a model for inclusive romance design, they originally took this form due to the sequel’s breakneck development timeline. “We were working on far fewer resources compared to Dragon Age: Origins,” Gaider told Kotaku. “The whole game was gonna be done within a year and a half. So when it came up to how are we gonna do the romances, it was really a matter of economy. We’re gonna have four romances. If we decide to make them sort of a spread of sexualities that are immutable, then there’s no choice for the player. They have one character available to them, and we didn’t like that idea.” Resource division and lack of choice remains a cloud that hangs over even the biggest games that feature romance."

-

"When every romanceable character is pursuable regardless of who the player is, it creates a perception that these characters’ identities are defined by the protagonist’s presence. Gaider likens this to treating characters like a “toy” just meant to be romanced. This is part of how the “pl****sexual” moniker came to be, as it implies that characters weren’t bisexual or pansexual, but adhered to whatever main character they came across in any given playthrough. Dragon Age II has a specific plot beat that added to this: If the player chose to play a male version of Hawke, Anders would be forthcoming about his past relationship with another man, but that conversation doesn’t come up when playing as a woman. Gaider explained this was meant to distinguish how Anders related to male and female versions of the same character, with the BioWare team believing he might keep a past relationship with a man “close to his chest” if he were interested in a woman. In retrospect, he says he understands how it could be read as something only real in one version of the story. “Unfortunately, we just didn’t have enough time to get enough feedback and iterate on those situations,” he said. “We would hit a particular interaction, we would make a judgment call either as a group or the writer on their own, and that was it. There was no time for anything more than one gut-check, which is probably not the way to go.” Room to explore While Dragon Age II was written to accommodate any pairing because of the economic realities of its development, it’s become a recurring blueprint for several romance-driven games."

-

"As Dragon Age II has been pivotal in discussions around the pl****sexual design philosophy, its successor Dragon Age: Inquisition has been hugely influential on relationship systems featuring more defined identities. Gaider said the decision to tweak the approach came from a desire to decenter the protagonist in each of these character’s lives. “We didn’t like how [pl****sexual] made the characters feel like they existed in service of the player; like they were there in the game to be a toy. [...] We felt like that wasn’t why those characters existed. That wasn’t the kind of game we were making. These characters were characters first, and they had their own stories, and the player could interact with them, but it wasn’t always about the player.” The result of this shift is characters like Dorian Pavus, a mage from the land of the Tevinter Emperium, who is a gay man. His backstory involves nearly being put through a magical version of conversion therapy, an abusive and baseless real-world practice reliant on mental and often religious conditioning. Dorian’s parents planned to use dark magic to make him straight and take part in an arranged marriage, prompting him to run from his family. His story touches on real-life experiences of queer people, and fills in Dragon Age’s world in the process. “Dorian’s story could not be told if he was in a game where pl****exuality was the rule of the day,” Gaider said. “When I say that it opens up different types of stories, Dorian is the best example, because his story is about being homosexual and that doesn’t work in any other context. So that was very special. [...] it meant a lot to me as a gay man that I had this opportunity.” Defining Dorian as a gay man is intrinsic to his story, but sometimes the effects of this approach aren’t as grandiose. Cassandra, the first party member you get in Inquisition, is a straight woman, and if you flirt with her as a female protagonist, she takes you aside and tells you…well, straight up. Whether that’s a fun wrinkle to your story or feels like the game is gating content is in the eye of the beholder. “For players who just wanted to romance whoever they wanted, they would do something like encounter Cassandra as a female character and get turned down and be like, ‘that’s not the game I wanted,’” Gaider said. “But then you had other people who were like, ‘that was really cool that Cassandra has her own identity, and it has nothing to do with who the player is.’ I think that makes for more realistic characters, and a more coherent world, and allowed us to create characters that were more self-realized.” The middle ground between opting for pl****sexual romances and representing the queer experience is making sure those bisexual and pansexual identities exist whether the player is there or not. Baldur’s Gate 3’s party is a solid example of this. Characters like Gale, Wyll, Astarion, and Shadowheart have established relationships and flirt with others of different genders, regardless of whether the player romances them. This ensures their identity doesn’t come off like a switch to be flipped depending on which protagonist shows up at the beginning of the game. Gaider points out that part of circumventing the weaknesses of the pl****sexual approach is adding “a metric ton of content” as Baldur’s Gate 3 did. Overcoming those hurdles is “possible, just very expensive.” Howard-Arias cited Dorian from Inquisition as an example of a story that could not be told in a pl****sexual game"

-

"When you’re on the outside looking in, it’s tempting to assume developers are intentionally snubbing certain groups of people. The Mass Effect series pushed the envelope for sex and romance in its time, but it was deeply dismissive of queer men, and BioWare’s explanations of Commander Shepard supposedly being a “predefined” character weren’t satisfactory considering the series’ emphasis on choice. Breaking down choices to numbers isn’t telling the whole story, but it does ultimately leave some people feeling burned. “[Some players reacted to limited romance] like it was unfair that I didn’t get more options, as if in-game romances were a matter of social justice,” Gaider said. “Like, in terms of how fairly you allotted them to players, like candy being divided. It’s such an awkward conversation to have because it’s so removed from the realm of game development. But still, game developers do need to stop and have that conversation.”"

-

"Even the word “pl****sexual” sounds like it’s an identity, which can be problematic. Gaider points out this is especially touchy for bisexual and pansexual people, who often face erasure in the real world, so labeling characters as something other than what they actually are sours the discussion before it even starts. Hunter echoed the sentiment, saying having characters “flip flop” felt like a betrayal. “The difference between a bisexual character versus a pl****sexual character really is a matter of context,” Gaider says. “By calling a character ‘pl****exual,’ you’re sort of erasing the fact that they are bisexual, but, the part where having a term for that becomes useful is when you start to investigate, like, why is this character bisexual?” So these two distinct approaches aim to be inclusive, but both can carry a perception of unfairness to either queer identity or queer experience. The sentiment from everyone I spoke to was that both approaches are legitimate; they just have their own pitfalls that anyone making a game should be aware of. Sometimes you just have to accept when one game is aspiring to something different than another. Gaider says the key to making either approach work is to stop trying to please everyone. “Say something with your writing, with your game, with your romances. Because if you don’t say anything, if your goal is to make it inoffensive, then it’s gonna land like a wet fart. It’s not gonna have any substance to it,” he said. “So say something and just be aware of how it can be interpreted and stand by it. That’s all you can do as a creator.”"

[source and full article link. the full article also discusses and covers other games]

[bi-bard]

Family Trip - Rafael Barba Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Family Trip

Pairing: Rafael Barba X Reader

Word Count: 1,024 words

Warning(s): bad family, bullying, cussing

Summary: (Y/n) just got back from visiting family. However, instead of bringing back funny stories or leftovers from their parents, (Y/n) brings back baggage that no one could see. Baggage that (Y/n) didn't want to acknowledge.

Author's Note: The holidays are rough for a lot of people. If you need a better family for the holidays, then I am happy to be a part of your found family.

--------------------

It wasn't meant to be anything more than an off-handed comment.

I knew that.

That didn't stop my brain from going into fight or flight mode when Rafael made said off-handed comment.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure why Rafael was there. We didn't have anything for him to look at or talk about, but he was standing in the middle of our office.

I had started rambling. I had been reading this new book series. It was new and exciting, so I was talking about it. I knew that sometimes my rambling could be a little intense and hard to follow. I knew that. I should've known that.

"My only problem is that I can't seem to find the last book," I explained, probably talking a mile a minute. "It's pretty popular, but I didn't think that meant that I wasn't going to be able to get my hands on a single copy of the thing. I've checked most of the places around me, but there's one shop- it's between my place and this little coffee shop- that might still have a copy-"

"(Y/n), (Y/n)," Rafael smirked as he held his hand up to mimic telling me to slow down. "Take a breath."

My mouth reacted before my brain could stop it, "Jesus fucking Christ."

I shook my head and looked down for a moment.

"Hey, I was just-"

"You should try letting people enjoy things without being treated like shit," I snapped before he could explain himself.

"Excuse me," Rafael asked. The whole team seemed to freeze.

My jaw clenched. I didn't speak.

"Liv," he turned to her. She had stopped when I snapped at him. "Can we use your office?"

"Be my guest," she nodded.

Rafael looked at me again. I sighed, already regretting my choices as I pushed myself out of my seat and toward the office.

He didn't speak up until he had shut the door to the office, "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry," I ran my hands over my face.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on," he asked.

"I... I just got back from visiting my family," I said. I took a deep breath. I was already yelling at myself for how I had reacted and for talking about this whole thing. "They're... They're just a bit difficult. I get a bit... touchy when I visit them."

Rafael's eyebrows were still furrowed.

"They just make a lot of jokes," I tried to shrug it all off. "Quite a few of them are targeted at me. Whether they're just about shit that I've done or how I look or the things that I like or... whatever. I tend to get a bit defensive."

"I... I didn't mean to-"

"I know," I stopped him, forcing a grin. "I'm just overly sensitive. I know that. Can't learn to take a joke."

I felt the tears in my eyes. I tried to figure out how to subtly blink them away. It must've not worked because Rafael stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me as he tried to shush me before I started sobbing. I wrapped my arms around his torso and closed my eyes.

"I don't mean to be invasive, but this doesn't seem like innocent joking," he muttered to me. "If it's this upsetting... (Y/n), this isn't normal."

"I'm the one that's not normal," I stepped back, rolling my eyes. "I... I just can't get my brain to not take it personally. Either I get defensive and overreact or I shut down and that's still overreacting. I just never learned how to take a joke. It's always been that way."

"(Y/n), no."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Hey-"

"I have a lot of work to get done," I said. "I'm gonna go clean my face up and get back to it. I'll see you later, Barba."

"Wait-"

"See you later," I repeated before walking out of Liv's office.

I ignored everyone's sad looks. I just continued working. Typing and writing. I answered a call or two. It was the rare occasion where S.V.U didn't feel like it was being left to drown and hopefully take down a few terrible people before we sank completely.

Sonny tried to talk to me a few times. Rollins too. Liv had called me into her office, but I pushed her away. Fin seemed to respect that I needed the space.

I had shut down. I figured it out as soon as I got home. Just like I always had. I had fucked it all up. I thought that I could keep myself together when I was away from my family. That those reactions could just fade away with time. But here I was. Still acting like such a child.

I spent the entire night caught in this cycle of punishing myself. Stuck in my thoughts and insecurities until I finally couldn't force myself to stay awake any longer.

I came back the next day to see something sitting on my desk. It was wrapped in some Christmas wrapping paper. It was just after Thanksgiving. It was probably what was in stock.

"It's from Barba."

I looked at Rollins as she spoke. She had caught me staring at the gift. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. At the idea that Barba felt the need to get me a gift.

"I saw him put it on your desk."

I chuckled.

"Will you open it," she asked. "The curiosity has been killing me."

I scoffed before picking up the gift.

I pulled off the wrapping paper to find a book. On top of the book was a folded piece of paper. I put the paper down on my desk before properly reading the cover of the book. I chuckled.

"What is it?"

"It's the last book in that series that I was talking about," I said, holding it up for her to see. "I... I don't know where he found it."

I grabbed the piece of paper that had been placed on the top.

I grinned a bit at the short note.

You deserve so much better.

Maybe he had a point.

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[yeonkimintakecare]

Washed Up - Chapter 3

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader; Angsty Fic

Summary: You finally come face to face with the man you once loved, lets just say, it doesn't go how you expected.

Author's Note: Short chapter, sorry. It just felt like the right place to end it for now. I will be working on writing more, and longer chapters from here on out.

Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, mental health issues, swearing, general angst.

(previous chapter)

Rina had picked what you wore, a blue cardigan with a silk camisole and light wash jeans, to give you a mature look, like the character. You were thankful that your makeup and hair had been professionally done as well, because Taehyung looked really fucking amazing. When you first saw him, your breath hitched. He looked so different from how you knew him.

His hair was had grown out and styled messy and in his face, he was wearing a fitted jean with a black t-shirt and a long black overcoat with several necklaces. He had a much colder appearance to himself, he used to be silly and smiley, and now he looked like he could kill somebody with his stare alone.

He bowed to and nodded to people as we walked in and took his seat across from you. You kept your eyes locked on your friend, fearing that if you looked at him that you'd break your composure somehow. But you feel his eyes come around to you, you start to mess with a bracelet on your hand, pretending that you don't feel his stare boring into you.

"Ok, ready when you guys are." Yoongi says from behind the camera guy. You finally give in and look at Taehyung, as much as he had changed, you could still see the man you loved in his eyes. No matter how cold he made them seem, there was still this boyish wonder behind them that just reminded you of the times you had together.

You inhale, exhale, and without looking away from your old lover, you release a small "ready..."

They counted you down and you waited for Tae to start.

"You never loved me back, did you?" He says with his face softened, looking so much weaker than he had a minute ago. Wow this scene is going to be harder than you thought. It was one thing to do this scene with a guy you had never met before, but hearing that come from the only man you've ever loved, hit like a ton of bricks.

But you have to keep going so you don't have time to sit with your feelings, you have to use them to make this scene better.

"Not in the way that you want me to." you say, trying to sell the fact that the character is meant to be older, mature, and is a lot more put together than you are.

"I just don't understand why I'm not enough for you" Your heartbeat quickened from how he was looking at you. You never gave him this conversation. In all honesty, you ghosted him after your company told you to end things. One of the many mistakes you made regarding your relationship with him.

"It's not that you're not enough, it's that I can't give you the love you deserve. You're such a beautiful person, inside and out, and you deserve a girl your age, without any baggage. I have so much going on in my life, all I bring is drama." You feel like you're finally getting this moment to have with him, even if it isn't your own words.

"But I can help you with it, I can handle it." Wow, Taehyung has gotten very good at acting. You thought about watching some of his projects before, but you couldn't bring yourself to. You told yourself you'd force yourself to if you got the role.

"But what I'm saying, is that you shouldn't have to." you notice something flicker in his eyes.

"I'm so tired of people always deciding what's best for me." This shocked you, this was not in the script. "Isn't what's best for me to decide and to learn from it? I'm an adult, I can make my own goddamn decisions, fuck!" He stands up suddenly, covering his face. You just stare at him, blinking, that definitely seemed like what he's wanted to say to you.

Somebody else starts talking to him, you can't pay attention because you're trying to hold back tears. You feel somebody touch your back and guide you outside, you realize it's Rina. She guides you to the bathroom and wraps you in a hug, that opens the floodgates, you start sobbing into her shoulder.

A few minutes pass and you stop crying. She rubs your back while your body shudders, you look into the mirror and all of your makeup has fun. To put it kindly, you looked like shit.

"I'm going to go and talk to some people, you stay here as long as you need to." She says, leaving a kiss on your forehead before stepping out. You find yourself sitting on the floor for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath. Finally, you stand up and clean yourself up, to the best of your abilities.

When you step out of the bathroom, you see Taehyung leaning against a wall in the hallway. He looks up at you and shakes his head, before looking down again. He looked at you with such hate in his eyes, not that you could judge him.

"Are you okay?" you ask, not knowing what else to say. He scoffs.

"Am I okay? That's what you're going to say to me after all this time. A I okay?!" He glares at you, you refuse to let yourself look away, you don't deserve to be uncomfortable about this.

"I know it probably won't mean much to you, but I am sorry for how things went down." You say, trying to hold yourself together. He laughs again, backing off the wall and walking toward you, he's a lot taller than you remember, but you hold your ground.

"You're right, it means nothing to me. You mean nothing to me." he says before walking back into the studio.

What. The. Fuck.

[littlemoonastrology]

All About: CAPRICORN ♑︎ - The Zodiac Signs

This post will cover all the basic information needed to understand Capricorn, the tenth Zodiac Sign!

Take a look at my other posts to see information on: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius!

What's next? Aquarius! Keep a look out!

If you feel like this post has helped you feel free to Follow, Like Reblog or Repost (as long as I'm credited!).

~

[UPDATE]

My Big 3 Astrology Readings are open! If you'd like to purchase one or support me, head on over to my Ko-Fi https://ko-fi.com/littlemoonastrology . <3 Thank you!!

~

Capricorn ♑︎

Date (Only applies to Sun Signs): December 22 - January 19

Symbol: ♑︎ - The Sea Goat

Associated House: Tenth

Associated Degrees: 10°, 22°

Associated Energy: Feminine

Planetary Ruler(s): ♄ Saturn (Modern and Traditional)

Element: Earth

Modality: Cardinal

Keywords: Visionary, Ambitious, Skilled, Self-Motivated, Competitive, Reliable

This Zodiac Sign is determined, visionary and make great decisions which only allow for more progress in life - not just practically but emotionally too. Capricorn is reliable and steady, a great friend to go to when you need an honest opinion. Whilst this placement may tend to come across as biased sometimes or judgemental it's because they tend to hold high standards for themselves and the people around them. However, this doesn't mean they do this to bring others down, they do this to help aid others and give them some kind of direction in life. A Capricorn already intuitively knows who they are and their goals, often thriving in competitive subjects and can become highly skilled in multiple different topics (although this doesn't mean they are organised at all). They may like to keep their environment clean as well as their mindset, easily being able to say goodbye to toxic situations.

In fact, someone with a Capricorn placement may come across as lazy when this isn't the case. As hardworking as this sign can be, they may also procrastinate a lot and have trouble starting projects if they are not in the right mindset which can end up becoming some form of baggage. It's important for this placement to come out of their comfort zone (especially when they don't feel like it) and motivate themselves to get things done they don't want to (rather than staying in bed scrolling through social media all day. I see you.).

However, sometimes tasks may become too overwhelming for Capricorn - maybe even their emotions can become too much for them or they become really anxious over something. This can cause someone with this placement to act out of character - maybe acting out in anger or coming off as erratic (although this is only usually once triggered if they have been sitting and seething for a long time). In some cases maybe they look for ways to escape, whether that be through material things, people, ideas or work. If this problem keeps getting bigger, Capricorn may even become somewhat idealistic - relying on fantasies, emotions and possibly digital media to help them get through life which may result in them pushing others away and forming somewhat delusional or fantastical beliefs. It's at this point, Capricorn needs some kind of structure to help them come back to reality. Philosophy may help with this (or further certain unhealthy beliefs).

When Capricorn feels capable, skilled, respected and validated in an aspect of their life they may have a tendency to engage in it an unhealthy amount. This can lead them to avoiding other parts of their life (such as getting engrossed with work and forgetting to maintain friendships) or maybe put a lot of effort into an unhealthy relationship. It's important for someone of this placement to stay grounded, stable and work on projects/relationships which are healthy for them. Much like Cancer, pay attention to the amount of effort you're putting in and the rewards you receive.

~

Notes/Keywords/Phrases

Zodiac Sign

Each of the Zodiac Signs are a constellation. The Zodiac Sign shows how a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is being represented and expressed. Once a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House falls into a Zodiac Sign, it adopts the energy of it.

For example: if Mercury falls into the constellation Sagittarius, Mercury adopts Sagittarian traits. If the 6th House falls into the constellation Aquarius, the 6th House adopts Aquarian traits.

Associated House

The Houses in Astrology are dependent on the time and location of birth in a Natal Chart and there are 12 different ones. Each of these 12 Houses are then assigned to a Zodiac Sign and 1 or 2 Planetary Rulers. The Houses in Astrology show you what area of life the energy of the Zodiac and Planets/Asteroids/Fixed Points is appointed to and helps provide depth into the chart.

For example: Capricorn's Associated House is the 10th House.

Associated Degrees

When a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House falls into a Zodiac Sign constellation, it will be appointed a Degree. This Degree shows how far along the Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is in a Zodiac Sign. Each Degree is also associated with a Zodiac Sign, meaning when this Degree comes up it can nuance the way the Zodiac Sign of a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is being represented.

For example: Mars is 6° in the Zodiac Cancer, 6° represents Virgo - therefore the Cancer Mars also takes on Virgo traits. The 2nd House is 23° in the Zodiac Scorpio, 23° represents Aquarius - therefore the 2nd House in Scorpio takes on Aquarian traits.

Planetary Ruler(s)

This phrase refers to the Planet(s) that rule a Zodiac Sign. When a Planet falls into the Zodiac Sign it has rulership over, the energy of both the Planet and the Zodiac Sign is amplified.

For example: Pisces' Planetary Ruler is Neptune.

Modern / Traditional

These words are associated with two kinds of Astrology: Modern Astrology and Traditional Astrology. Traditional Astrology refers to Astrology that was practiced before the 19th century, whilst Modern Astrology refers to Astrology that is practiced now. Some people choose to practice Traditional Astrology, some people choose to practice Modern Astrology, whilst some others might practice both types or combine them together.

Element

Each Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree is associated with an Element and this covers certain traits which are unique to the Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree they correspond to.

These Elements are: Fire, Air, Water and Earth.

Modality

Much like an Element, each Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree is associated with a Modality. The Modality describes what the focus of a placement is and how the energy is expressed.

There are 3 different Modalities: Cardinal, Mutable and Fixed.

[letters-to-rosie]

My one oneshot of all time is impossible. 

There are three. Well there are more but I forced myself to stick to three. I'm terrible with choices

'Affection in all the wrong places' by LeBenj 

“You need to stop showing up here,” Ekko says as he unlatches his bedroom window with a loud click.

Without looking at him, Jinx’s lips perk with a hint of a smile. “You need to stop letting me in.”

It's soft and hopeful, with an undertone of hurt, and I love it. 

‘What's broken can still mend’ by MidnightLightHowlite

He hates her as much as she loves him, for nothing good ever happened to people who loved her back. But he cares, and that's different because people who hate you but also care will not forget, because they will forget a kindness but not a curse. People remember curses, remember misfortune if only to avoid it, and she's enough of a sin to be unforgivable.

… 

“You’ve been surviving for so long.” He brings her knuckles to his nose and takes in the gunpowder. When his eyes meet hers they’re frozen. “But have you truly been alive?

So many gems in this fic. It hurts just right. Learning to live and complicated baggage and hope (I might have a thing for that) 

And last one 

‘Why’ by PenguiniShipsIt

‘That's all everyone wanted to do these days. Blow up. Beat everyone up. Hurt someone. End someone.

It got tiring to a point that he'd rather wreck himself than hear everyone around him already wrecked.

And he got what he wanted at the sight of her on his couch. Again.

"Hey." He shook her by the shoulder. "What the hell, Jinx? Is this what we're doing, now? You're just gonna stay here when it—"

She's burning.’

Caring despite all the rightful hesitations, a bit of ridiculousness, and from Ekkos's perspective, an incredulous situation makes for such a good read.

okay I have been super tired, so this took me like 3 days to write lol but we're so back baby here we go!

going one by one:

Affection in all the wrong places is very cute! I like the concept of things having eventually calmed down years later and Ekko and Jinx being able to relate to each other without the mediation of the conflict we see in the show. in some ways it also reminded me of one of my fics, with the whole "years later" thing, and I just think it's fun to see how different authors interpret similar ideas 😊

for What's broken can still mend, I think I actually read this one before I had my account?? I read a lot of CaitVi back then lol but I was just starting to get interested in timebomb. yet the summary sounds familiar...

but anyway, on to the thoughts! this is such a small thing but I love the idea that Vi comes to the Firelight base and plays with kids. I love it so much I might steal it for the end of revolution lol (with credit, naturally). and Ekko deciding not to kill her? wild lol, just wild. a little curious about why then, but hey, it felt very poetic and we can never be mad at that haha also was surprised at how it ended, but I was happy to see that Vi and Jinx made up, because who knows how canon will go 🥲

and for Why!

I feel like I've figured out your pattern lol you like fics where after the events of canon things chill out and Jinx goes to Ekko. and then implied/actual sex haha

the top author's note on this one is so fucking funny lol

I do enjoy Ekko being a bit of a dork here. the first fic I wrote with him in it has him telling bad science jokes lol. but he's also so sassy here which is how he became my favorite Arcane character in the first place, so we love to see that too.

He loved the way she swallowed. around here is when he started to get really terrible and I was so down for it lol. AND it's reciprocal! I like that playfulness coming out with them. you can feel how much they're into each other, and that along with how they're not saying everything (which I feel like is also a commonality between these 3 fics). since this is the longest of the 3 by a good bit, it really comes through, and I like in particular how Jinx is really torn up about the idea of loving him while Ekko is eventually able to convince himself to stop holding back, even though he's still afraid she'll hurt him.

She had seen what happened to people she loved and loved her back.

Not Ekko. Not chubby-cheeked, pouty-faced, sad-eyed, Ekko who hovered around her when she was sick and injured, who tended a nice little garden of friends and firelights, who zipped through the fissures like one of those masked heroes in barbershop stories.

yeahhhhhh this is good shit lol

“Are you aware of any reason she might threaten your safety?”

Yes. I edged her six times and came in her twice.

pffffffft

the end to this one is also really interesting. I would say it's my favorite of the 3. I like how the tension between Ekko and Caitlyn and Vi plays out, though I'm wary of the Firelights being legitimated by Piltover (though Ekko is, too, which is why I love him lol). it's interesting to see them inhabit this space created by all the tension in the world around them. and then, of course, Jinx comes back. more bittersweet than the first 2, but in a way I enjoyed a lot

thank you for sharing! 🥰

[heavencasteel420]

Re: the "tell me what you remember" meme: The ballet book throughline in Save the Last Dance for Me! I loved that detail. Thematically, it worked so well to support what you were doing, was moving and beautiful, and was just used so effectively and interwoven so deftly. Actually, so many aspects of that story, tbh. It's just a really lovely work, with such heart and care.

I am so glad that you liked the ballet book! I thought a lot about Lucas and sports, because even based on what we get in canon it’s really complicated. He’s playing basketball for practical reasons (wanting some level of social protection) and there’s all this baggage around it, but he obviously takes pride in his accomplishments and (based on his previous interest in martial arts) I imagine he enjoys sports on a physical level as well. And I liked the idea of him being intrigued by ballet because (a) it’s aesthetically so pretty and romantic and (b) it requires an incredible amount of discipline and strength. Because he’s a very boyish boy but he’s clearly not limited to liking what people think he should like—whether those opinions come from bullies or society at large or his closest friends.

One of my favorite parts of the story (if I say so myself) is when Lucas reflects that he’s “not a team player.” I meant it as a neutral statement; Lucas is far from selfish, and someone like Dustin (who does enjoy functioning as part of a group more, IMO) isn’t unthinking or a doormat. But it’s a genuine difference in personality.

I liked using the book as a way for him to think about Will, too. He’s not a visual artist but he appreciates Will’s skills and knowledge.

I mentioned this in my author’s note, but it is based on a real book:

[demigodofhoolemere]

Collecting all of my thoughts on the 60th specials now that they’re over and there’s a cohesive overall picture, because I had many and I want to de-clutter them in my head for my own sake. Not in any particular order of significance, just stream of consciousness as I rewatch.

Be warned that while there were definitely things I enjoyed, there’s going to be a good bit of negativity in here, so if you understandably don’t want to see critiques of something you really liked, please do yourself the favor and don’t read this. I know what it’s like to see very negative takes on something you loved a lot and I know how bad it can feel as it sits with you in your stomach for a while if you’re particularly sensitive to it. Enter at your own risk. Also, I’m not looking to be argued with so if you read any of this and disagree with me on things, please just keep scrolling. This is just me throwing my thoughts at the wall.

And obviously, massive spoiler warnings here. I’ll be talking freely about all the things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE STAR BEAST

- I’ve seen people make fun of the opening but I don’t find anything wrong with it in particular. The Doctor standing there like he was cut and pasted is a little silly but it’s not laughably bad either. I get the feeling they realized after they’d already shot the specials that they needed a recap and threw it together pretty quickly but it’s not terrible.

- The new credits are GORGEOUS and the music makes me very happy.

- I have issues with it that I’ll get into but despite myself it’s nice to see Tennant again. He was my first Doctor and his era is very nostalgic for me so it would be hard to be totally unhappy to have him around.

- That said, now with the context that the return of this face somehow has nothing to do with the Toymaker, I’m baffled and not a fan of bringing him back just for the sake of it. I really thought there was going to be SOME kind of interference by the Toymaker that would be delved into a bit when he eventually turned up, something to justify this, but no. Which means that he really is just back because that particular regeneration needed closure or something, and yeah, Ten had issues and not the happiest sendoff, but in my personal opinion it just feels more like favoritism from RTD. For 57 years, regeneration has meant letting go, and it comes across like RTD can’t do that if he has to make up non-interference-related reasons for bringing an old face back and thereby altering regeneration mythos (which he does again in an even worse way later…) by suddenly saying it’s possible for a past life to come back. I know there’s technically precedence for old faces returning, in the form of the Curator, but that was done so quickly and vaguely that it’s not invasive. This is asking us to go along with old faces coming back for *checks notes* reasons, and to give a whole new number, altering our numbering system forever, to who is essentially just Ten again. I’m sorry, but I am never calling him Fourteen. I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll have to refer to Ncuti as Fifteen and so on from there, but that’s just Ten. The only difference is that he’s got three more lives in his head that make very slight differences to his personality. Very, very slight. But it’s bugging the crud out of me that Tennant is apparently so special that it’s fine to randomly have him become himself again, that he gets two numbers, and is now being made to appear twice on every poster that has the full lineup. I am never going to acknowledge him as a whole new regeneration between Jodie and Ncuti, I’m sorry. I adore Tennant, he’s my first and I’m legally obligated to mention that I do love him extremely dearly, but if none of this had anything to do with the Toymaker torturing him and playing with his emotions or something by making him look like his old self who had so much baggage, then this whole thing is immediately silly and self-indulgent on RTD’s part.

- I know that the Doctor and Donna were brought together again because the two of them combined as the DoctorDonna could save London, but it happens so fast and without emotion. Their paths just sort of happen to cross, immediately. It’s done very quickly and in a way that doesn’t let me feel the full weight of him reacting to seeing her again.

- However I love seeing Donna again. She’s very much the same Donna I’ve always loved and it’s great to see her.

- I do like bringing back the recurring joke of Donna missing out on obvious alien attacks, lol.

- Nice that this stuff takes place in Camden seeing as Bill Hartnell partly grew up there.

- I appreciate moments like the psychic paper saying “Grand Mistress” instead of “Grand Master” as acknowledgment of Thirteen’s existence. I was worried she’d be entirely swept under the rug.

- Allons-y! 💙 That does my inner 2012 self’s heart good.

- Shaun Temple is a sweetheart and a delight.

- Gotta love throwing in one last reference to Nerys, lol.

- Donna, I’m proud of you for being such a good person that you want to give away your money to people in need, but keep at least SOME of it, girl! You’ve got a family!

- Shirley Anne Bingham is awesome and she can stay as long as she likes.

- Oh boy… pretty much everything to do with Rose feels very ham-fisted and clumsy to me. You can have a trans character without going about it like this. If the point is supposed to be to normalize portraying it in media, then it should be natural, not be about making a point. Shoving it down the audience’s throat every minute is naturally going to make people dislike the writing, even people who fully agree with the intent. I’ve already seen a fair number of LGBT+ viewers discuss this being poorly done. It doesn’t feel well-written to me and I don’t think it’s going to age particularly well either. More on this later as the worst of it crops up.

- I love Sylvia trying so hard to protect Donna by completely denying anything alien and acting like everything is normal. This poor woman is doing everything she can. I never thought I’d like her so much.

- Sad to hear Donna talk about feeling like she’s lost something but never knowing what it is.

- The Meep and the Wrarth Warriors all look incredible.

- Not a fan of the sonic basically being a magic wand. There’s a reason they ended up ditching it in the Classic series, because it was getting so that the Doctor relied too much on it, and that was before it had anywhere near the convenient powers it’s had throughout the modern series. This is a big step even further than they’ve ever taken it before and it really took me out of it. The sonic shouldn’t be able to create Iron Man HUD screens or Green Lantern hard light shields. I’m hoping they don’t do that again as the show continues.

- Murray Gold’s music is beautiful and it’s great to have it back. It does have a tendency to get too loud, though. I like to hear what people are saying.

- I do quite like the interactions between the Doctor and Shirley. She’s got a good personality to bounce off of him. I especially like them waving at each other as he sneaks off onto the UNIT truck.

- That pretty purple light coming from the ship was more exciting when I thought it was the Toymaker’s power coming to control them. Oh well.

- Love Donna’s reaction to the Meep.

- Poor Sylvia at her wit’s end. Someone help that woman.

- While it’s fitting that the Doctor has now been slapped by the trifecta of mothers from the RTD era, I’m not sure that we should still be doing gags like that where it’s apparently okay and funny to slap someone if they’re a man. The reverse would go down very differently. At least in context it makes perfect sense for Sylvia to be angry that he’s shown up and to want to get rid of him, but I hope that kind of humor doesn’t stay.

- Shaun walking in on all of this chaos like

- Nice to see the Doctor get emotional over Wilf. Same, dude.

- ^ I also really like that Kate took it upon herself to get him into a nice care home practically for free. I appreciate that she gets in touch with so many of the companions and that she’d go out of her way to help him have what he needs. I could see her dad doing that, too. I’d like to think that Yates is in the same care home (considering Richard Franklin is in real life at this point) and he and Wilf can share stories.

- Gaaahh at, “You’re assuming ‘he’ as a pronoun?” Nobody talks like this.

- Not sure the Doctor should be talking so freely about aliens and two hearts right in front of Donna and risk her remembering. He even casually hands her the sonic for a moment and shortly after starts explaining what it is. Probably not the best idea. Bit careless, mate.

- Part of me feels like the barrister wig bit is a little too silly, but then again:

- Anyone who had any awareness of the original comic was already waiting for the Meep’s turn, but knowing didn’t make it any less of a good reveal. I liked the very sudden shift.

- Shirley having weapons in her wheelchair, heck yeah. Reminds me of the Brig’s concealed gun in his cane in SJA.

- I like Donna feeling compelled to help even if she can’t remember having ever done anything like this. I also like Sylvia’s chilled realization that Donna called him “Doctor” without having ever been told.

- Lol at the kid watching the destruction from the window and not running or looking freaked out in the slightest. Boy has no self-preservation instincts.

- There is definitely some good emotion going on with the Doctor’s conflict in having to reactivate Donna’s memories, and it’s extremely well acted, but for whatever reason I don’t feel as much weight here as I should. It’s not just that I’m too disconnected from their original run at this point, because I rewatched The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End as well as The End of Time in the lead-up to this airing and I was severely emotionally impacted like I’d been thrown back 10 years in time, so I have no idea why I just don’t feel as much as I wish I did. It’s definitely not about their acting. Maybe it’s just too quick? Because I feel like the pacing of this episode in general goes by so fast that there hasn’t been enough time to really drive home the drama of what remembering will do to her, or the full extent of their relationship. Everything just sort of happens. The conflict of having to choose to restore her memories is great but the actual regaining of those memories just feels… sudden? Unearned? I don’t know.

- Don’t know how to feel about Donna having straight up Winter Soldier trigger words to unlock her memories.

- I really feel like her getting her memories back should have been a much more emotional moment between the two of them. She has no reaction to suddenly having it all back — it’s just undercut with the humor of yelling about having given away all of her lottery money, and being mad at him that there was a subconscious part of her that had his influence that drove her to do that. Honestly, I believe Donna would do it anyway, you don’t need to make some explanation for his soft heart still sticking around in her head like she wouldn’t have done that on her own. After a decade of wishing Donna could one day have her memories restored, this isn’t what I wanted out of it.

- It’s better a minute later when she realizes she only has 55 seconds left before her brain fries but she’s okay with it because it’s the best 55 seconds of her life to now be fully herself again. It’s also sweet when the Doctor is holding her as she begins to fade away, even if it’s undercut a moment later by her suddenly waking again.

- I’m not sure why the metacrisis energy in her head would split off and have half go into Rose in the womb. I suppose you could come up with a way that makes it make sense but it’s pretty convenient.

- Doctor: “We are binary.”

Donna: “She’s not. Because the Doctor’s —”

Doctor: “Male.”

Donna: “And female.”

Rose: “And neither. And more.”

… Huh??? Are they trying to say that Rose is trans because the Doctor is capable of being either male or female and the metacrisis somehow passed this on?

- I like the quick moment between the Doctor and Sylvia. Didn’t know I wanted more of them.

- The Meep’s ominous allusion to “the boss” doesn’t seem to have been about the Toymaker, so… what gives? Not that that’s a bad thing that it wasn’t, I wasn’t sure what to think of him having people working for him anyway, but I’m curious if that thread will ever get picked up.

- Donna: “Yes, we know.”

Rose: “We know everything, thanks.”

Donna: “And you know nothing. It’s a shame you’re not a woman anymore. ‘Cause she’d have understood.”

Rose: “We’ve got all that power, but there is a way to get rid of it. Something a male-presenting Time Lord will never understand.”

Okay, first off, why the attitude with the Doctor? Geez. Second, Thirteen never let go of anything in her life lol, no she wouldn’t have understood. Third, did they not just say that the Doctor is ‘male and female and neither and more’? Now a few minutes later the Doctor is suddenly just a dumb man who could never understand because he doesn’t have a woman’s perspective? One minute we’re saying gender doesn’t matter because he’s both and none, the next we’re using the standard binary against him to act like the women are so much smarter than him? There’s no need to pick on him like that, and please, just pick one, you can’t have it both ways. Also, oh my word, ‘male-presenting Time Lord’? Russell, can I have a word with you about writing sentences that sound like they would actually come out of someone’s mouth?

- ^ Additionally, the solution to the metacrisis is to just… let go of it. They literally just choose to make the energy leave them. Easy as that. That feels so incredibly unearned and completely undermines the stakes involved. For 15 years Donna was at risk of having her head explode. Her ending was an absolute tragedy with very serious consequences. And now they just go, ‘Well, they can let go of the metacrisis though’. All of the drama of her circumstances feels horribly undermined by the easiness and convenience of that. I don’t think they should have fixed everything in just the first episode of this anyway, let alone that lazily.

- I am quite a fan of the new TARDIS interior. It’s a bit big, hopefully we’ll get some furniture in there over time or something, but it’s a very neat design. I’m very pleased to have the Classic white back, but that the lights can also change colors if they feel like adding a bit more mood or character to a scene. I’m also assuming that its wheelchair accessibility means we’ll get Shirley in there at some point, which I look forward to.

- Aw at the Doctor remembering how Donna takes her coffee.

- “I really do remember, though. Every second with you. I’m so glad you’re back, ‘cause it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.” Aw 💗

- “I said so!” Poor Sylvia, lol.

- Watching this the first time under the assumption that the Toymaker was pulling strings throughout the first two specials, I really thought they ended up at the end of the universe because he hijacked the TARDIS, and the coffee was a coincidence. Nope. Turns out the TARDIS really just broke down that bad over one spilled cup of coffee. It really should be more resilient than that!

~~~~~

OVERVIEW

I liked more than I realized, there is some good in here (Sylvia was the unexpected MVP), but for me the bad just outweighs it too much. The things I do like are generally small moments and the things I don’t are generally quite big ones, which is a problem. I’ve got a number of issues with the writing, and that’s just if the episode were standalone, let alone the fact that this is supposed to be for a big anniversary. In the context of the entirety of the specials it’s got even more problems. This doesn’t feel like it’s celebrating anything, except perhaps the original comic which is nice at least, but apart from that, it’s just… an episode. A poorer one at that, imo. The pacing is rushed and the writing is often either forced or lazy or both. It doesn’t have anything to do with the next two specials and it doesn’t set up anything that it should. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected that it would, but I find it bizarre that it doesn’t.

I really wanted to like this and I went into it expecting that I would, but even beyond the writing problems, I just couldn’t connect. I don’t know if it’s the pacing or what but I don’t feel nearly as much as I want to and feel I should. Ten and Donna are being very much themselves and they’ve got stuff here that should make me emotional, and to a degree it does, but… something is just off. I don’t feel the weight of it, and that’s a recurring problem throughout all of these specials. For whatever reason the episodes just don’t emotionally resonate with me for the most part, even if I’m pleased to be watching Ten and Donna and should therefore be more excited about it and care more about the fact that they’re back on my screen. I really, really want to care more about seeing them again. I do care, but it’s just… off. The rushed resolution to Donna’s problem doesn’t help, either. I don’t feel the emotional payoff. Part of me feels like if they were going to undermine the impact of Journey’s End by solving everything with such ease and casualness, then maybe they shouldn’t have done this at all. And I love Donna, I do, I’ve always wanted her to remember eventually, but I really feel there needed to be more to it than this. This doesn’t feel earned. I’ve got little to no emotional catharsis out of it. I would wonder if it was just a me problem if not for the fact that my sister came away from it feeling the same. Tales of the TARDIS handled this better for Jamie and Zoe in just 5 minutes — they didn’t have stakes for remembering like Donna did, it was just a cruel thing done to them, so it doesn’t feel like it’s undercutting anything to have their memories restored just as easily as they were taken, and there’s a whole ton of emotion packed into that 5 minutes that feels real, earned, and gets to me every time I’ve watched it. Why I don’t feel the same about Donna is beyond me.

I’m really struggling to understand why after just this first episode so many people were rejoicing that RTD has saved the show. Granted, I didn’t hate the Chibnall era, just select parts of it in the same way that I would have problems here and there with RTD and Moffat, so I’m not coming from a place of having felt like the show I loved was dead, but I really don’t see how The Star Beast is any better than most given episodes of the preceding era. I didn’t feel some magical shift. If anything, I liked most Chibnall era episodes more than this. I don’t know what everyone is talking about.

Thankfully the next special is a vast improvement imo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WILD BLUE YONDER

- The opening with Isaac Newton just feels completely unnecessary to me. I feel like Russell just wanted to make a joke about changing the word “gravity” to “mavity” and decided to create that opening scene. I believe I also saw that the actor is a friend of his so this also could have spawned from him trying to create a bit part for him. Whatever the origin is, I’m not a fan of it. I really hope the mavity joke doesn’t continue past these specials, because I find it very annoying for reasons I can’t even quite place. Just gets on my nerves. And let’s forget the fact that the word gravity existed before Isaac Newton anyway.

- The TARDIS blaring the military song at the beginning and later near the end is another thing I would have sworn was the Toymaker having a laugh. Nope. No clue why it’s doing that, then. They do say something about the TARDIS playing them a war song, I guess they mean to imply it was some kind of warning of what they were getting into? But it kind of just happens. I feel like RTD keeps doing things without explanation just for fun. And there’s definitely a time and place for that, but in these specials it keeps being stuff that really should have elaboration and then they just don’t.

- I really like the massive spaceship and its design. Feels like something my brain would make up as I’m listening to a Big Finish story. The moving pieces are awesome as well.

- This is just me being someone who primarily prefers the Classic series a lot of the time, but I’m kind of done with New Who making a point of people’s attractiveness. I don’t need commentary on how hot the characters think anyone they’ve run into is, let alone a historical figure. New Who has a strange obsession with sexualization. RTD and Moffat are the worst offenders with this. Can’t call to mind times where that happened in the Chibnall era but I could be missing something. In any case I really want them to grow up a bit.

- Hey, that’s the first reference to the Doctor snapping his fingers to control the TARDIS in who even knows how long! Not that I was even a fan of that concept but it’s interesting to hear about it again.

- I like that Ten quickly stops himself from placing any blame on Donna and apologizes.

- The Doctor kissing her hand and holding it to his chest when she starts panicking is very sweet. 💗

- Woohoo, bringing back the HADS! Troughton fans unite!

- I love the robot. That is a great robot.

- I totally thought that the void outside was the Toymaker’s realm. That’s what I get for listening to Solitaire I guess.

- ^ I was also waiting for the glass that the Doctor was pressing against to completely disappear and he would fall into the Toymaker’s realm. Would make a good fic though.

- With all of the shots of Ten and Donna being watched from behind I kept expecting the forms of old companions like Susan or Steven to show up to mess with the Doctor. Never mind.

- I knew he was going to lick the strange gooey substance. Same old Ten.

- Poor Donna wondering what her family would do if she never returned.

- I thought it was abrupt that the Doctor had finished his job and already come back to Donna, but the moment where we cut back to the Doctor fiddling around immediately made it click that Donna was NOT talking to the real one, which is terrifyingly creepy.

- ^ I assumed at first that the Toymaker was faking being the Doctor to get information out of Donna. Then when the fake Donna turned up I thought they were both just his puppets he’d sent. Even when it was revealed what they really were I still imagined the Toymaker had something to do with sending them after them. Still jarred that these first two specials had absolutely no set-up for the big bad they were teasing in promotions for ages. But this particular instance is still very good without having anything to do with him. The Not-Things are chillingly creepy and I was constantly on edge.

- I like how Donna has absolutely no reaction to, “My arms are too long,” as if the Doctor would just say that lol.

- The long arms are so freakish in the best kind of freakish way.

- I seriously thought for a minute that they were turning into giant marionettes. There’s a bit of music during the reveal that sounded a bit circus-y for a moment as well. I could not stop seeing the Toymaker around every corner lol.

- David and Catherine kill it as the Not-Things. It’s fascinating to see them play against themselves in such a dark way.

- The way they look when they’re growing enormous and are appearing more and more freakish really feels like something my brain would concoct while listening to Big Finish if they did a story like this.

- I really enjoy the darkness going on here generally. They didn’t shy away from being absolutely twisted and terrifying and disturbing. It’s good to have a bit of that sometimes.

- This is seriously David and Catherine at some of their best. This special has the best stuff for the Doctor and Donna as a duo and their relationship, as well as having to play everything twice. They’re so good at making the Not-Things convincing that I was genuinely having a hard time figuring out which ones were real for a while.

- I hate the Timeless Child lore but it’s used here to good effect. Same with the Flux. I actually quite enjoyed the Flux arc but the fact that it did permanently wipe out half the universe without getting reversed or fixed and we just don’t talk about it is ridiculous. While I wish they would fix the situation, similarly to the Timeless Child it’s used well here.

- That contorted crab walk thing is incredibly disturbing even if it does look stupid lol.

- Really, how can they use a line like, “To play your vicious games and win,” and not have me think the Toymaker was involved somewhere in here?

- The Doctor not being able to stop thinking is very relatable lol. I would fail so badly in this scenario.

- I really like the design of the old captain of the ship. I’d love to see what that species looks like when they’re not just skeletal remains. Unless they actually do just look like bone anyway like Thestrals, in which case that would be even cooler.

- Everything about the climax is very well-executed. The drama, the pacing, the stakes. Very strong stuff.

- Poor Donna being left behind. But do you know what I was expecting? Naturally, for the Toymaker to pluck her out before the ship exploded so that he could keep her alive to force to play games. These specials did not go anything like I expected lol.

- Sweet Ten and Donna just sitting there reeling for a minute.

- Not sure what invoking a superstition at the edge of the universe is supposed to do with the return of the Toymaker in the next ep. He says it’s because the walls of reality are thin and all things are possible, but that doesn’t mean that pouring some salt on the ground magically has something to do with him specifically. Feels like a very weird reason to give when the logical thing to do would just be to say that the Toymaker has been plotting to get him back for a long time and finally showed up now.

- Wilf broke me. This was the one thing in any of these specials to get me truly, legitimately emotional. Shed a tear over him and his sweet face. It’s a shame they weren’t able to film any more scenes with him but I’m so glad they got that one in.

~~~~~

OVERVIEW

By far the best of the specials. I quite enjoyed the sheer darkness and madness of this one, and David and Catherine absolutely knock it out of the park. The writing is largely very good and it’s very effective in its scare factor, as well as in showcasing the relationship between the Doctor and Donna. This is the best stuff they have in any of these specials and I felt a little more connected to them here than in the other two. That doesn’t say as much as I’d like it to, but I’ll take it.

It stands up very well on its own, which in one way is great and the mark of a wonderful episode, but in another way also speaks to one of my overall problems with these episodes which is that they’re not connected to each other. This is a fantastic story and extremely well done, but once again it doesn’t feel like it’s celebrating anything and I truly don’t understand why these specials weren’t written to be a lot more connected than they are. At the end of the day it’s just a collection of random episodes that fill a gap before Ncuti takes the reins. That said, I’m not complaining about this one, this really was very interesting. Definitely the standout episode out of the three.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE GIGGLE

- Getting this out of the way right from the start lest I comment on it during every scene of his: NPH steals the show. He acts his heart out here. On the one hand it’s a very different approach to and portrayal of the Toymaker, which would otherwise bother me, but I can buy it as a Toymaker who has had centuries and centuries since the original serial to grow madder and madder and madder (and though he doesn’t regenerate like a Time Lord, I’d still be willing to believe that pieces of his personality might shift with different faces). On the other hand, there is still very much an element of Michael Gough in his darker, more intense moments. Glints that you can see in his eyes and his wicked grin. Very different but very the same. I really wish more of the episode had focused on him, and even further that he had been involved in all three of these specials.

- I appreciate the different accents he puts on throughout, as it proves me right that he just copies things from all manner of cultures he has no connection to. Vindication.

- Genuinely creepy in the opening scene the way he talks about the doll family as if buying the one doll would be separating it from its family and make them sad. You get the impression he’s not kidding. Even creepier when he says the hair on the doll was from a woman who won’t be missing it and won’t miss anything ever again. This one scene sets up right from the off that he is deeply unsettling and has done truly horrifying things to the victims of his games.

- I keep looking for Easter eggs in the toy shop and keep finding nothing lol. Wasted opportunity to have a Trilogic game or something hidden in the background.

- There’s some very dark music that plays frequently which seems to be the Toymaker’s theme. I really like it.

- Very unsettling that the Doctor’s first interaction with the Toymaker is unbeknownst to him. I like that he just stays in the background for a minute before messing with him while he still doesn’t know it’s him.

- I don’t like that the new UNIT building is essentially Stark Tower. That’s much too ostentatious for an organization that’s supposed to keep a low profile. Their building in The Power of the Doctor was already way too big. I don’t know why they seem to have gone very public now.

- I like that Kate is so scared by all of this that the first thing she does is to just grab the Doctor in a hug. Also, nice shoutout to Kate having fought Yetis.

- Mel! 💗 It's so nice to have her here. I haven't seen her Classic stuff yet but I've always adored her from afar, she's so precious. I'm always here for bringing back old friends as long as it's done well. The Doctor's reaction to her is so sweet.

- Sorry to disappoint, Mel, but you’re not the first redhead lol.

- Cool little robot guy. I'd ask why they have him working for them but they also had an alien as their scientific advisor for years, so whatever.

- Very interesting to demonstrate what happens to people's minds by turning Kate's protective armband off. Her tirade over nothing is both funny and frightening.

- The return of newscaster Trinity Wells! Nice to see you, girl. Though I have no idea how UNIT not only created but has already been trying to mass produce and give to the world these Zeedex bands within 2 days for this to even be on the news. Apparently they were an invention of the robotic character the Vlinx but that’s still a bit fast lol.

- I like that Donna was able to figure out the music scale from a perfectly ordinary experience. And lol at having Bonnie Langford sing the arpeggio.

- Considering the implication that having traveled in the TARDIS prevents the effects of this on an individual, I now want fic of every companion who's living in modern day Earth reacting to all of their neighbors and family suddenly losing their crap. Ian and Barbara watching their friends pick loud fights in the streets, Jo seeing every member of her family go mad. Not to mention the characters who either never set foot in the TARDIS at all or not long enough for it to protect them. Poor Liz Shaw somewhere, and Benton and Yates. All of the SJA kids except for Sky since she's an alien, and she'd have to deal with all of them being terrible.

- I like that they have Mel doing some technical stuff since she was supposed to be a computer programmer.

- Glad they gave a reason for why and how Mel is back on Earth lol. Nice shoutout to Glitz while they were at it as well.

- Kate really seems to like offering everybody a job lol.

- Subtle bit of creepiness to the Toymaker that no matter how many of his juggling balls he throws, he's still juggling the same amount of balls.

- I'm glad they had him already know Donna's name. I imagined he would have to but you never know what writers are gonna do. I'm also very pleased that it's immediately acknowledged that the Toymaker is an extreme threat by having the Doctor tell Donna to go back to the TARDIS the second he's realized who it is.

- Heck yes to the brief Hartnell and Gough flashes! It's not only lovely to see them in general but I love the weight that it adds, that they know each other from so long ago, and that those people are still who they both are inside the different faces. You can see Michael Gough's eyes in NPH right here in particular and for a moment I feel I can even see Bill's eyes in David.

- Shoutout to the hidden Joeys in a couple of different places. They're not nearly as visible in the episode as the set pics made it seem but I know he's there.

- Love that he means Hartnell when he says, “When I was young.”

- I like the unnervingness of the endless hallway and all of the doors just leading you nowhere. I can imagine that kind of a trick in the original serial. (In fact I now really want to see that be something they'd have to deal with. I can just hear Steven's huffy, 'Oh, no,' when they realize they're never getting anywhere lol.) The two of them ending up separated is also good stuff.

- I still don't see what invoking a superstition at the edge of the universe has to do with bringing the Toymaker in. It's a really weird and nonsensical reason to give when the only reason you need is that he's finally coming for his rematch.

- Very creepy stuff with the poor man being made into a marionette, as well as the Doctor seeing himself as one. That’s the kind of disturbing factor I was hoping for with this special. There isn't a ton of this kind of thing here and I'd have gone quite a bit darker myself for this whole episode but I appreciate what we have.

- The Toymaker looming above, looking down as he holds the puppet strings is some really good imagery.

- Donna vs the rest of the doll family is very freakish, but I also feel bad for them because there's no way those weren't real people at one point. Particularly disturbing to have Donna rip Sue's head off and kick it across the room, considering. I know she doesn’t know these were people, and even if she did she does have to protect herself somehow, but yikes.

- I love the painted stage backdrops in the middle of absolute black nothingness. I was hoping they'd have this sort of thing, since much of the original is in this sort of broad, void-feeling space.

- I really like this bit where the Toymaker is showing what happened to the previous companions that have been on the show since Donna left. Very chilling to see him be well aware of all of the particulars of these events and I’m glad they went for it in torturing the Doctor with personal pain. It wasn’t as much or as dark as I’d hoped but I like it, and I always like seeing a Doctor acknowledge companions he was with when he had different faces. Very nice to see Ten’s face talk about Amy, Clara, and Bill. Also, nice recap for those who may have stopped after Tennant originally left, and wow, the Moffat era really had a ton of tragic departures. I keep thinking what must have been going through Neil’s head reading about a character who was killed by a bird, and the various insane-sounding reasons from the Doctor as to why these characters are somehow okay despite what happened to them, considering he apparently didn’t know about Doctor Who whatsoever prior to being approached for the role!

- Oh, the shift in the Toymaker’s face when the Doctor challenges him to a game. Stuff just got real.

- It’s so good to see them playing at a table again.

- “I made a jigsaw out of your history. Did you like it?” Not sure what that means unless they’re trying to indicate that he’s somehow responsible for the Timeless Child mythos, or at least for various inconsistencies in the Doctor’s life. I doubt they’d hand-wave away the whole TC arc like that when Russell said he wouldn’t undermine his friend’s work, so I don’t know what to make of this. But if we can ignore that from here on out then that rocks.

- Poor Master, lol. I can only imagine bedraggled and broken Dhawan being offered a chance to live if he played a game, taking the offer, and promptly losing. I want to know how that went down. Apparently very badly, if the price was being trapped inside the Toymaker’s gold tooth. Also, is he aware of what’s going on or is he just sort of in stasis in there? It would be awful for him if he were conscious of everything, but awful results are how the Toymaker operates, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Imagine the Master trying and failing to scream to the Doctor to do whatever he has to to get away.

- Okay, who on earth is this person the Toymaker supposedly didn’t dare play? They’re claiming that he played and defeated God but there’s somehow someone even more powerful that the Toymaker of all people is scared of? “The one who waits”? Jokingly headcanon-ing that it’s Rory until we get anything further on that, lol.

- I mean, the Toymaker ain’t wrong about the issues of the human race in the 21st century 🤷‍♀️ VERY weird to hear him say the word ‘cancel’ though. That originated here on tumblr to my knowledge. Things like that have gotta stop breaking containment, now they’re spreading so far that a character from 1966 is saying them.

- Love the Toymaker’s aghast reaction to Donna saying he’ll just cheat. Though they make it sound like he’s forced to always play by the rules by some sort of cosmic force that binds him. In the original you get the impression that it’s just a matter of principle to him, which I prefer.

- I like that the king on the playing card looks like it could either be Michael Gough or NPH, or perhaps a blurred line between them to represent both.

- Part of me feels like the dancing scene is a bit too far in terms of silliness for circumstances that should be very serious, but it’s also too enjoyable for me to not get a kick out of. They also managed to make it quite dark and threatening, having him appear all over the place, forcing Kate and then Mel to dance, turning the two UNIT men into bouncing balls that still retain the images of their screaming faces and the Doctor telling Kate that they’re dead, and making all of the bullets turn into rose petals therefore showing them all that they’re helpless against him. For something that should come across as ridiculous, it’s actually surprisingly effective. Though I don’t know what it is with RTD and having his big bads dance to girl group songs lol.

- When Kate asks where the guards and staff have gone and the Toymaker just goes, “I think they’re still falling.” Eek.

- Ten really has a thing for offering bad guys to travel with him instead of wreaking havoc lol. But I love that they had him say that the two of them together could be ‘celestial’. Thank you for the little reference and for proving me right again that that’s the context in which we’re supposed to take his title. Also, interesting little moment there where the Toymaker very nearly almost seemed tempted.

- This scene is very quickly ruined, but I like Donna and Mel going to the Doctor’s side to be with him as he regenerates. Very sweet to see two past companions who still love him very much and are willing to put themselves in the line of fire just to make sure he’s not alone. And when the Toymaker comments, “Handmaidens,” it reminds me of the original serial when he comments on Steven’s “adolescent expressions of loyalty”.

- Nice detail that Mel seems a lot more prepared and okay with the realities of regeneration, just comforting him with a smile and not seeming terribly worried whether he’s going to be okay because she knows he will be, she’s seen him in the aftermath of a regeneration before and loved both Doctors she was with. Of course she and Donna are both emotional, but Mel definitely strikes me as more ready to deal with what comes next.

- I’m really mad that this moment is all about to get undermined, because having Ten 2.0’s last words be, “Allons-y,” aka, ‘let’s go’, is incredibly fitting and poignant in contrast to the original, “I don’t want to go.” Why’d they have to go and ruin what could have been a nice, touching regeneration?

- Aaaand here’s the moment that ruins the entire rest of the story for me. Rather than regenerating like normal, the Doctor “bigenerates”, splitting into two of himself so we have both Tennant and Gatwa together. It’s hand-waved with, ‘oh there’s this thing called bigeneration that’s supposed to be a myth but apparently not!’ and then not discussed any further. Russell, you just got back, did you seriously have to already bring a massively disruptive lore change with you? We just had one. I seem to be in the minority, at least on tumblr, but I am not on board with having two Doctors existing simultaneously. It feels more like the Doctor split off a twin. You can’t copy a soul and have two of that soul at the same time. That is not how people work. I keep having to focus on Mel being adorable in the background because the rest of this is aggravating.

- I feel it robs Ncuti of a proper entrance as well. He doesn’t get the same process that every Doctor before him since Troughton has gotten. He’s relegated to splitting off of the fan favorite rather than taking his place as is kinda his right, which could also easily cause people to forever view him as an offshoot and not the proper Doctor. Not to mention the fact that their split also divided articles of clothing between the two of them, meaning Fifteen is left running around in underwear for the entire remainder of the episode. A lot of people seem fine with this but I really think it’s an undignified entrance for the poor guy, and I’m not sure it’s going to age very well either. It would be humiliating enough for any Doctor to start out that way but I can already see people in the future looking back on it as a very degrading introduction for the first black Doctor. My mind also often goes to considering whether certain things would come across the same if it were a woman, and boy, that would not be received well if the new Doctor were a woman having to run around in her underwear as an intro, which means it isn’t really great for a man either.

- I wish I could enjoy the two Doctors excitedly interacting, but that’s the kind of thing that’s only fun or interesting in the usual context of multiple incarnations meeting up from different time periods. This stuff would otherwise be cute, but in the context it’s in, I’m just too uncomfortable to enjoy any of it.

- “Do you come in a range of colors?” is another line that I’m not sure is gonna age well. I’m not sure I like the sound of it now as it is.

- The Toymaker claims he played against the “guardians of time and space” and shrunk them into voodoo dolls. Are we talking Fifth Doctor era Guardians? Poor guys.

- Part of me feels the “ball game” final fight is cool looking (or at least, it’s well-shot to distract me from the fact that it’s not that good; I can’t decide), but the ultimate result is disappointing. It’s pretty unsatisfying to have the Toymaker’s defeat be that he happened to not catch a ball. It makes him look unskilled to just have it graze past his hand when he easily could have stretched slightly further and gotten it. I know people say that his original defeat in the old serial was anticlimactic, but he was defeated because the Doctor was clever. It wasn’t that the Toymaker did anything that would lead to his own loss, it’s not that he wasn’t as clever, it’s just that the Doctor had a good idea and succeeded with it. It was very evenly matched, but somebody has to win even in a very tight game and it was the Doctor. Here, the Toymaker loses because he was unlucky. It wasn’t a victory on the Doctor’s part, the Toymaker just messed up. That doesn’t feel like a satisfying defeat at all because it’s not even a defeat. Everything hinges on the Toymaker somehow not catching a ball.

- Don’t know if that’s the last we’ll see of the Toymaker. It may be the last of NPH playing him at least. I wouldn’t be shocked if they brought the character back for another round some decades down the line, just get him out of the box and dust him off on the rare occasion.

- He says his “legions” are coming, and I believe RTD has said that Fifteen is going to keep facing them. Curious who those will be. I don’t exactly see the Toymaker having armies in reserve somewhere.

- Good for the poor man that he gets to not be a marionette anymore!

- Fifteen: “You can’t save everyone.”

Ten: “Why not?”

Because you go Time Lord Victorious when you start asking that question. Have a Snickers.

- Again, I wish I could enjoy the two Doctors. Fifteen comforting Ten should be a very sweet thing, but this whole thing just feels so wrong to me.

- Well, cue endless speculation on whose hand picked up that gold tooth with the Master in it. That should keep the fandom going for a while.

- ^ Also, ahhh, the various Master laughs when it focuses in on that! I think I hear my beloved Delgado!

- I greatly appreciate all of the Classic references when they’re talking about all of the things they’ve gone through and never stopped to rest after, and all of the people lost.

- Fifteen: “Sarah Jane has gone, can you even believe that for a second?”

Ten: “I loved her.”

Fifteen: “I loved her.”

Owww, official confirmation in TV canon that Sarah Jane is gone by now. I’d appreciated that they had never explicitly said anything like they did with the Brigadier. I loved her, too. 😢

- ^ Also mentioning loving Rose, ahhh. The Doctor has never actually said those words to or about her because he was always an idiot thinking it didn’t need to be said. Finally, a Doctor says onscreen that he loved Rose! 2012 me is pleased.

- Mavic Chen! RTD said he’d be mentioned at some point, but still, there’s a deep cut of a reference! Heck yeah, Hartnell enthusiasts rise.

- “I’m fine because you fix yourself. We’re Time Lords, we’re doing rehab out of order.” Okay, this particular line would seem to imply that at some point when Ten 2.0 eventually regenerates, it will be to Fifteen? That he’s thrown back into the timeline and bigenerates out of himself as Fifteen, thus meaning there’s still just the one Doctor and the timeline aligns itself? Nothing else in this episode indicates that whatsoever, but if that’s what I’m meant to take out of it then it would fix a lot.

- So… they’re seriously saying that he became Ten again for the emotional catharsis of sitting back and living with Donna’s family for a while. Messing up regeneration lore to enable past lives to come back, ignoring that the point of regeneration since its inception is to move forwards, for what is essentially RTD’s fix-it AU fic for his own characters. This continues to feel like it’s RTD’s celebration of his own stuff rather than an overall 60th anniversary celebration. I really want to be happier about having my Ten back, and that Donna gets to remember everything, but so much of the way this has been done leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

- Aaand oh boy. Here’s the bit where they duplicate the TARDIS. For the sake of argument, say that Fifteen really did come after Ten 2.0 living his life with the Nobles and he’s just thrown backwards in the timeline. If that’s supposed to be the same with the TARDIS, that he’s just bringing it into this time somehow from where it last was with Ten 2.0 prior to his regeneration, then that would be fine. But there is absolutely nothing that indicates this. The takeaway I get is that the TARDIS has been copied. Tennant is going to stay at the Nobles’ and have the original TARDIS on hand so he can still leave sometimes. Gatwa takes off in the copied TARDIS. The Doctor that we’re supposed to be following from here on out is no longer traveling in the very same TARDIS as he always has. If that’s seriously the case, then that’s a GIGANTIC heck no from me. Absolutely not.

- Oh, how I wish I could more properly enjoy this final scene of Ten with the Nobles. On paper it’s absolutely adorable. If they confirm that Fifteen is the regeneration after and not an awkward offshoot, then retroactively I could enjoy this a lot more, but until that potentially happens, I’m still uncomfortable with the two separate Doctors at the same time and therefore uncomfortable with the context of him being here because there was a second Doctor who can keep going instead.

- Would have sworn that the Doctor’s eyebrow story was going to be about Delphon but then he says another name. Oh well.

- I do really like that Mel gets to join in on the Noble family gatherings. Lovely to keep her until the end and that she gets to have sort of a family. “Mad Aunty Mel” 💗

- ^ Also sweet that the Doctor took her to New York in the Gilded Age for a nice little trip at some point in the time skip before this. Mel deserves nice things.

- Why are we saying that Wilf is shooting the moles in the garden? Unless there’s something I’m forgetting where he’s done something like that before, I don’t feel like Wilf would hurt a fly let alone moles. With how hard it was for him to take out his gun after so many years in The End of Time I’m not sure I buy him being okay with shooting anything. Weird note to end on for him.

- Having the Doctor spend most of his time living with the Nobles and resting presents a bit of a Steve-stays-in-the-past-in-Endgame problem in that there’s no way he wouldn’t always be trying to right wrongs around him. Just like Steve would have to ignore every horrible thing he could do something about, including rescuing Bucky who is being tortured out there, any time this Doctor isn’t there when something is going terribly wrong nearby, it means he’s ignoring it while he lounges. That doesn’t sound like him at all.

- And off Fifteen goes, getting ready to go into the Christmas special. I’m worried about it but hopefully it’s better than I think it will be…?

~~~~~

OVERVIEW

Oh, massive mixed bag.

I really like the Toymaker parts of the episode. He wasn’t in nearly as much of it as he should have been and his downfall is disappointing, but the overall writing for him and performance by NPH was fantastic. There’s some very good dark and twisted stuff in here and I’m glad they went for it, even if I would have done even more with it. He is far and away the main highlight of the episode and much of my enjoyment of it is down to him. Mel also plays a considerable role in that, just because I’m thrilled any time an old companion turns up, but I also felt more connected to her, whose stories I haven’t even seen yet, than Ten or Donna somehow. Honorable mention to Kate and Shirley who were also great.

As has been true of all of these, I still just can’t fully emotionally connect with Ten and Donna. I desperately wanted to, and there’s a part of me that did in a way, but nowhere near how it should have been. I feel like I’m insane because on paper there’s nothing even wrong with them and it sure as heck ain’t the performances. But going from a few of their episodes in series 4 in the lead-up and feeling all sorts of strong emotions, that somehow just didn’t carry over to this and I don’t get why. Pacing? Trapped in the poor writing around them? I seriously can’t figure this out, but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to at all. Something is wrong and I don’t know what the heck it is.

And there’s the matter of Ten coming back because apparently that specific incarnation needed a happy ending. I really feel the need to emphasize that I LOVE TEN, but being nostalgic and sentimental isn’t a good enough reason to mess with the regeneration cycle and skip backwards a few lives. Literally the reason they give is that this particular face needed rest (they do say that the Doctor needs rest generally, but they didn’t have to go back to this face to do that — Donna indicates that this face came back so that he could ‘come home’ and be happy.) It feels way too much like favoritism to single this incarnation out in such a big way, and honestly? Ten needed to go when he did. He was becoming someone he wasn’t and it was his time. Of all of the Doctors, his was the one that actually really needed to regenerate, for the sake of his own soul. It was certainly distressing but it was a solid end for him. I don’t feel he needs this do-over to go back and get a happy ending. No one Doctor deserves that over another (though if they did, it would be poor Two whose life was cut short by execution courtesy of his own kind.) I love Ten so dearly but it feels wrong to act like he’s so important that he specifically has earned any of this treatment. I’m beginning to appreciate Tom Baker’s approach of not making multiple comebacks precisely because of his popularity.

For a good chunk of this ep, the writing was pretty good, especially where the Toymaker himself was concerned. But once the bigeneration happened, it was so downhill that it makes me struggle to want to rewatch this even for the good parts. I’m really, really hoping that I’m right and Fifteen is meant to come after Ten 2.0 has already had his lifetime, ditto his TARDIS, because it would largely save this episode for me and because the alternative is completely appalling and I can’t be okay with it. To make matters worse, Russell has claimed that he believes the bigeneration echoed back into all previous regenerations and causing each Doctor to split off from the last so they all get to go on with their own life, that they’re ALL out there in some kind of “Doctorverse”, which is absolutely insane. It defeats the purpose of regeneration: “Times change and so must I,” and, “Life defends on change and renewal.” This completely flies in the face of a critical aspect of the show, that one has to move on eventually. There’s a time for each of these incarnations, but they can’t last forever. It weakens all of these deaths, a good number of which were sacrifices, to claim that they all actually get to live on, and the very idea of it also supports my fear that there’s seriously just supposed to be two Doctors now and we’re supposed to be okay with that. According to Russell there’s a whole ton of Doctors existing simultaneously and that’s supposed to be okay. It’s the definition of bonkers is what it is. I really feel the opposite of all of the ‘RTD saved the show!’ sentiments; it feels like he’s gotten too big for his britches and has returned with a bizarre god complex where he’s wielding way too much power and plans to use all of it however he wishes. He’s single-handedly making me nervous for this entire next era.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BIG PICTURE

Though there are definitely things I liked, particularly the Toymaker and Wild Blue Yonder, there was far too much that I don’t feel good about for me to be able to say I really loved these specials. I probably won’t reblog much of it beyond what I already have and I’m not particularly motivated to rewatch these except in a full-scale series rewatch because I’m not the sort of person who can let myself skip stuff.

I really feel like these should have been either Jodie’s or Ncuti’s. Ten didn’t need to be here, much as I love him. It could have either been a very dramatic ending for Thirteen (though I enjoyed The Power of the Doctor for that) or a very interesting beginning for Fifteen. It would be interesting to see a brand new Doctor have to navigate such intense stuff. And if it had been Thirteen, I honestly feel I may have emotionally connected better because she’s who we’ve been with.

In my perfect world, these would have all had to do with the Toymaker. Have him be woven throughout the first episode (and give that first ep a very different plot than what we got) and then a cliffhanger that reveals him as having been behind it all, leading into two full episodes of fighting against his power. Either keep Wild Blue Yonder, because it’s pretty darn good, and just have it so that my initial thoughts regarding involvement from the Toymaker were correct, or alter it entirely and focus on really delving into who he is and how much danger they’re in. Make them play deadly games. Get some incredibly dark and disturbing visuals and emotional torture in there; show past companions as puppets and dolls (whether it’s really them or not), have them come to life and taunt the Doctor if they’re fake or hauntingly beg him to save them if they’re real, make him face choosing between saving Donna vs other friends, really dig in as deeply and darkly as is possible without permanent consequences like death. Make episode 3 a long battle of wits with lots of intimate time between the Doctor and the Toymaker, with extremely severe personal stakes. Go all out. If you’re going to use the Toymaker again you really should be taking advantage of just how far you can go with a character like this, and the dynamic between him and the Doctor. Give NPH a boatload of screen time and a big, twisted sandbox to play in. Loads of emotionally, mentally, conceptually, and visually dark and disturbing things. They had some very good stuff but there should have been more of it, and even more unsettling, or at least on par with the marionette man and the soldiers turned to balls. If we keep Tennant for this, make the regaining of his face a plot point that was influenced by the Toymaker, something to torture him because Ten was one of the most emotionally volatile and damaged. When regenerating into Fifteen, let it be a normal regeneration, preferably caused by the Doctor needing to sacrifice himself to defeat the Toymaker because he can’t get away like he did before — this time, he really does have to face going down with the Toymaker to succeed. Keep Donna because she’s a prime resource for hitting Ten where it hurts, but have their reunion be orchestrated and the regaining of her memories be more complicated. It shouldn’t be as easy as it was. Have ample time to give full acknowledgment to the stakes involved. If she regains them in the first episode and it feels too easy, make it so that the Toymaker has only made it seem that way, but she’s in serious trouble the longer she goes on with her memory intact. Either tragically make her forget again in the end to save her life and to not completely undo Journey’s End, or make it far more complicated to ensure that she can safely retain the memories. It should only be in the final episode when they’ve fought for it and come out victorious that they can confirm that she’s safe and is able to go on this way. Definitely keep Mel somewhere in here, as well as having other old friends appear in some way or another. In the VERY least, just reference Steven and Dodo, because they didn’t, dang it all, and I ask for so little.

There’s so much that I wish these specials had done, that I wish they’d been. And largely, they just didn’t. For all the good that there was, there was a heck of a lot that ultimately makes it fail as a collective whole, at least for me. I had to put on a Classic story as a palate cleanser after going through all of that again.

[anderscim]

oh! something actually not about david for once

(whit young train of thought)

(take this giant wall of text with a grain of salt)

// spoilers for drdt chapter 2

i believe many of you have already picked up on this, but i’m just thinking about how whit uses his sense of humor and his lighthearted “indifference” to deflect any feelings of grief.

okay i think i’ll have to explain a bit further so. here we go

think back to whit’s secret:

“your mother is dead. you always omit that truth.”

and, unironically, this is true. he had a couple of opportunities to bring up his “true secret” but never did.

for me, the part that specifically stands out is when he claims his life is too uneventful to know what his motive secret is, and even lists some of his minor secrets to prove his point:

(side note: whit being a bisexual icon. hehe)

in a way, he’s almost acting like he forgot about his mother’s passing, although something like the death of a family member is usually a painful fact that would hang over people’s minds.

whit probably felt that, if he ever tried to properly process his grief, he would break down as he was unable to hold all of that emotional baggage at once. so instead, he pushed his mother’s death into the back of his mind; in doing so, he wouldn’t have to remind himself of it again.

also, when he admits to his secret during the 2nd trial he handles it very lightly.

he mentions it in passing almost as if it’s a spontaneous realization, rather than something that hangs heavy on his mind.

and yes, i do know that there isn’t really much else he could say here, but i still feel like it’s important enough to address. and this may just be me, but i feel like his word choice was really vague which seems slightly out of character for him—but i may be wrong about that so i’ll fact check later.

anyways,

both of these together, i think it’s safe to say that whit:

refrains from addressing anything about his mother / repressing his grief surrounding her death

tries to act indifferent about it

and my personal interpretation is that he does this so he doesn’t have to deal with his grief.

however, this doesn’t just apply to his family.

this also applies to whit’s sense of humor in the killing game. think about the number of times hu had to yell at him at class trials for the way he seemed to be taking everything lightly—at first i didn’t think much of it, but now, i think the reason why he’s actively trying to be lighthearted, and comes up with as many jokes as possible during the trial, is so he doesn’t have to think about the fact that someone just got murdered.

whit’s current lighthearted demeanor is his coping mechanism, but i feel like he’s accumulated a lot of bottled up emotions over time because of it. however, he’ll have to face them sooner or later—and i think that’ll be a very important portion of his character arc.

and actually, i’m kinda scared that character arc is gonna consist of whit actually having to face grief head-on sometime in the next two trials or so.

and uh, i think

you know

what i mean

silently places a death flag on charles

anyways

feel free to reach out to me, refute me, etc. whatever floats your boat honestly

because i would LOVE to hear your opinions on this! really

(and as always take this with a grain of salt)

[liskantope]

More stream-of-consciousness musings related to the topic I was posting about yesterday. (I'm really really tired. This may not make tons of sense or hold together that well.)

Suppose that controversies over universal health care were to get focused on how unaffordable necessary surgeries are for too many people, and the whole thing became framed as a debate over whether or not people should have access to surgery. I wonder if then there would be a substantial number of activists walking around with stickers or signs saying "I <3 Surgery".

I bring up this hypothetical because it seems like such a motto would be an absurd choice, but actually I could kind of see why some people might proclaim it. This is hard for me to relate to, but some circumstances lead a person to be overjoyed about getting some kind of surgery, when it may save or vastly improve their life (I've seen this overjoyed reaction on My 600-lb Life for instance, and then there are trans folks who desperately want transition surgery, and so on), and that's a valid emotion to have without being obligated to carry along with it the baggage of wishing circumstances in the first place were different so they wouldn't need surgery. My own point of view is of someone who is a wimp about medical procedures in general, has never had any kind of major surgery, and finds the idea terrifying (both the procedure itself and the aftermath).

If we add to our hypothetical universe the supposition that there's an anti-surgery pushback by people who think getting surgery is wicked and evil (see Christian scientists maybe? and certainly some of the more extreme anti-trans types currently, about certain types of surgery?), then it would be even more understandable to want to proclaim "I <3 Surgery" to signal opposition. I still think it would be kind of a dumb, tasteless, and ineffective idea though.

Another hypothetical that occurred to me today is that someone on the left-wing side of fiscal issues, wanting to push back on Republican tax-cut and anti-benefits-programs policies, might go around with a sticker saying "I <3 Taxes". In fact, the hypothetical circumstance is perfectly real at least in the current US political environment, yet I've never run across an "I <3 Taxes" sticker. It seems unthinkably silly. And it's even the case that there's a certain subset of people to push back against, who think taxes are inherently a form of evil: the "Taxation is theft!" libertarians.

A variant on this, by the way, would be "I <3 Paying Taxes", which I think is already kind of implied by "I <3 Taxes", or at least that's how many people would understand it. But I think this variant illustrates my point (to the extent that I have one) even more clearly. Because nobody, unless they're trying to be really edgy or advertise themself as both wealthy and super generous, truly expects anyone to believe that they enjoy paying taxes. (I distinctly remember then-Senator Obama mentioning that he hated paying taxes in order to make a point in his third debate against McCain in 2008!) And it seems kind of insensitive to those who aren't rich but do have to pay some substantial taxes and feel financially limited by it, even if said people are Democrats who happen to favor those taxes.

Either way, it just seems like something that you wouldn't see, which is perhaps why I feel so taken aback by how many people are happy to go around saying "I <3 Abortions". (Counterargument: perhaps we would see "I <3 Taxes" if only the political Overton window didn't restrict most of us to the view that taxes are generally bad except possibly when forced on the rich: note that certain left-wing types, most notably AOC, are willing to go walk around proclaiming "Tax the rich!". I'm still not super supportive of this tactic, but it makes a lot more sense to me than "I <3 Taxes" would.)

[tiger-mcqueen]

I see a lot of folks noting the things Ted Lasso has in common with Sleepless in Seattle after Ted said it's the superior Nora Ephron film.

And, yup, I did a rewatch of the film (it's one of my favorites) and took notes too just like a lot of you lol.

There are the obvious things of course. The whole soulmatey-destiny-cosmic-forces vibe, signs (that the heroine is a skeptic of), a focus on planes and boats, an Oklahoma reference, Dr. Fieldstone (who begs people to just talk to each other and admit their feelings). There are Wizard of Oz nods too: Somewhere Over the Rainbow plays after the first radio show, when Annie hears Sam for the first time, Annie and Walter's dinner at the Rainbow Room, Sam mentioning growing a new heart, the reference to a friend named Glenda.

But being the tedbecca clown and yoga enthusiast I am (*proudly adjusts clown wig before stretching*), here are a few other things I noticed:

When Victoria is traveling, she offers to bring Noah a snow globe from the place she's visiting.

The quote: "What we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match." "Y'all's baggage just matches right up, don't it?"

When Annie stops at the diner, she orders tea.

Jonah's Seattle Mariners hat matches the believe colors, and (I know but I stretched before this reach) at the end of the movie, when Sam and Annie hold hands for the first time, he's wearing a yellow jacket and her coat is blue.

And, my favorite (I honestly gasped), the host who seats Sam and Victoria when they first meet for dinner is named...Derick.

Now for my Affair notes:

Sleepless in Seattle paid homage to An Affair to Remember, so let's think about that movie in relation to Ted Lasso, too.

(Before I really dig in, we all know from both movies about the Empire State Building and February 14, but do you remember the teaser trailer for this season was dropped on Valentines' Day?)

Now, in Nora Ephron's Sleepless, the movie and especially the ending of Affair was touted as the most romantic thing ever.

To summarize it: The heroine (Terry) and hero (Nickie) meet while they're involved with others and take a quick "friends to lovers" journey. They realize their feelings and vow to resolve the issues keeping them apart (relationships, careers), and then meet in six months at the top of the Empire State Building. When that day comes, Terry's hit by a cab while rushing to meet Nickie...and Nickie waits in vain in the rain and thunder and lightning until he gives up, thinking she doesn't love him. She won't tell him about the accident because it left her unable to walk. Nickie visits Terry in her apartment and is just about to leave forever when he sees one of his paintings (that his agent gave to a woman in a wheelchair) and realizes what happened. Love and happiness ensues.

So:

-Ted and Rebecca aren't involved with others when they meet, but they are very hung up on their exes, and they have to work through their issues before they're ready to be in a relationship with someone.

-There's been debate for a while in the general Ted Lasso fandom about the show foreshadowing a car accident. Ted even almost steps in front of a car a few times.

-Rebecca's "thunder and lighting" haven't happened yet.

-Ted's not a painter like Nickie, but the Hockney drawing that Rupert gave Rebecca is important to her journey. And this show likes parallels, so I've been thinking about how a drawing/painting/piece of artwork involving Ted might play a part in an eventual tedbecca. I've wondered if he might get her a copy of one of Hockney's lightning prints because he knows she likes the artist.

I don't know.

I'm not thinking Ted and Rebecca will vow to meet at the top of the Empire State Building or anything like that. But I have long thought any revelation of feelings between Ted and Rebecca would be in the very ending of the show, just like in Sleepless in Seattle.

(*puts on clown shoes*)

Now I'm fully into the idea that a car accident, thunder and lightning, and possibly a painting...all in homage to An Affair to Remember...will play a part in the realization of feelings and ensuing confession.

[libra-stellium]

Tracking Venus transits!

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

Venus sextile Ascendant (May 8 - May 12)

I was sleep deprived during this time from my loud upstairs neighbors so I didn't go anywhere lol it was still a chill time

Very lighthearted time, you should be able to relax with friends

You feel so good you want to share it with everyone and express your feelings of affections

This transit helps to improve your relationships with everyone especially those closest to you

Good time to go out and meet people

Transit helps ensure you make a favorable impression

Venus sextile Saturn (May 13 - May 18)

This transit will show you in a positive way the duties and obligations that you have to live up to in your relationships, this will not be difficult

On 5/17 my aunt came to my apt asking for a slice of bread (she lives in the building lol) and I was like just make a sandwich and she did and at the same time my bestie texted me she was on her way and I was like ??? you're a day early lol but she didn't want to stay at her house so I told her it was fine to come and that was honestly fine! I think that the space I created for myself is so homey that it also brings other people comfort when they are here and I'm happy to share it!

Transit favors any creative activity demanding close attention to details

I made so much progress on my 3000 piece puzzle! I went to zumba and that was a lot of fun!

Your work will be carried out with great discipline

I packed my suitcase so easily!

Venus trine Neptune (May 15 - May 20)

Very pleasant transit, not very good to get work done, daydreaming

I didn't have any work at work and I was getting ready for vacation lol

Enables you to deal with people with great compassion and tenderness, you understand what they feel and think

That same night my aunt came for the sandwich we had a conversation and she was basically saying how she doesn't like having thoughts and i was like ??? tf?? lmao but basically she doesn't process anything ever bc to her it happened in the past so it doesn't matter anymore lol and then in the same convo she wants to talk about stuff her dad did when she was younger and the effect on her lol like....okay girl

Transit induces unselfish and spiritual love, just wandering about in a fog

I think this was an ideal transit to have while traveling bc this sounds like barely sleeping on the place and still having a fun day out bc it doesn't even feel real!

Venus trine Uranus (May 18 - May 23)

Transit will bring a little excitement to your life, something unexpected and stimulating that will help to make ordinary days more easily borne

New experiences every day in Amsterdam!

People you meet today are likely to be quite different from your usual friends

I was in a different country so everyone was different lol all super nice! Although tell me why at baggage claim when we arrived this lady literally punched my shoulder to move me out of her way LMFAO old ass bitch

You will seek different forms of entertainment today, maybe a concert of experimental music

Bestie and I tried edibles for the first time! It just made me more hilarious tbh but it was interesting to see that i had the same "sober up" power for like 5 min that I have when I'm drunk which is just enough to make sure we were safe and would get to our hotel safely lol

Venus opposite Pluto (May 20 - May 24)

You will seek feelings and emotions that transport you out of the ordinary

I feel like it was fated to try edibles in Amsterdam lol

Existing relationships may suffer difficulties because of obscure conflicts

I wonder if my aunt sharing my pics with my mom on 5/21 would count as an obscure conflict....

Be aware of yourself at all times, don’t let resentment flare up, air tensions but not destructively

I don't remember tensions tbh

Venus trine Sun (May 23 - May 28)

One of the most pleasant transits, good for enjoyable activity

This was the last couple days of my vacation, the trip back and first day back at work lol it was a fun time overall and that first day back at work no one emailed me asking for things so that was great!

Transit is good for recreation, pleasure, and amusing yourself with friends

Bestie and I went on these swings at the top of a building in Amsterdam and that was amazing!

[ben-talks-art]

Super-Heroes, Relationships, and Catfishing

In the latest episode of "My Adventures With Super-Man", the story took a rather interesting direction on how they approached the relationship between Clark and Lois.

This choice caused some people (and by that I mean Twitter) to feel like the same thing that happened with the character of Amber from Invincible was sorta happening again, although to a not-as-bad degree.

I was a little surprised to be honest because I felt this was handled worse in Superman than it was handled in Invincible. So I took some time to ponder about both situations, trying to consider everyone's perspective, and reorganize my opinion on the topic and how I feel about each case.

I also felt this could be interesting to talk about so, let me share my thought process...

(spoilers for both shows)

First of all, let's talk about secrets and relationships by using a certain Japanese animated movie as an example, "Wolf Children."

For those who don't know, this movie is a story about a woman who develops a romantic relationship with a guy that can turn into a wolf. He keeps it a secret at first but eventually reveals to her his secret and she accepts him for what he is.

As time passes, the woman eventually gives birth to two kids who inherited their father's wolf powers and thus also can turn into wolves depending on their emotions.

Only problems is, the father who knows all about how wolf people work ends up dying trying to catch a bird for his kids to eat (which should be sad but it's such a silly way of dying that I couldn't help but laugh when I first saw it), leaving the mother alone with no idea on how to raise children that are half-human and half-wolf.

The entire movie is just watching this poor lady trying to handle a situation that she clearly is not prepared for. The husband told her next to nothing about how wolf people work or how to take care of them, and she has no idea on where to find other wolf people to ask for help, making this whole thing into a guessing game of what's right and what's wrong.

The reason I bring this up is because I feel it's important to note how extremely selfish it is for the father to get involved with a partner and start a family with her without ever preparing her for what kind of life he would be throwing her into.

He never considered what it would be like for her if he ended up dying, and not only that, his soul appears in her dreams after he passes away to basically go "You better not quit on them! I'm guilt-tripping you, lol!"

Of course everything turns out okay in the end, but still, this movie is a great example of what's like being in a relationship and having to learn how to deal with aspects of someone's life you completely were not prepared for.

It shows the weight of accepting someone into your life and what this really means.

When there are aspects about your life that greatly affects the people you're interested in, it's your job to let them know about it if you plan to start a relationship with them so they can be prepared or so they can know if they want to be with you or not.

I think this is important to keep in mind when thinking about relationships with Super-Heroes, because the way I see it, a hero who keeps a secret identity and develops a romance with a civilian is not very far from an act of catfishing.

A superhero is someone who could die at any moment and leaving their partner alone, someone who has several enemies who would love to use their loved ones as a way to hurt them, and is someone who constantly has to take time out of their schedule to help out those in need.

Dating a superhero, or a person who happens to be a very big figure with a very significant career, is not an easy job, and it's not for everyone.

When you don't let the person you're dating know that you're bringing a lot of baggage into the relationship that they will need to deal with, you lose all the moral ground.

It's not that you have baggage, it's that you didn't prepare them for that baggage.

And again, that's not that different from someone committing catfishing on the internet.

You're pretending to be something you're not to lure someone into a relationship with you by omitting all the facts about you that might affect their judgment, all the struggles they might face, the changes that they will have to adjust to, the people that they might no longer be able to interact with.

You're cornering someone, and you're not letting them know about it.

Now… With all that said, how do I feel about the way Invincible and Superman tackled this theme?

In Invincible (the show not the comic), Amber broke up with Mark because she found out who he was and kept waiting for him to tell her the truth, but he never did and he wasn't planning on doing it until he felt he was about to lose her.

Except by the time he finally did tell her, Amber had already lost faith in Mark because, as Eve put it, she felt like he was just "stringing her along for five months."

A lot of people don't like this scene and Amber as a character because it felt like she was blaming Mark for being a hero and disregarding all the good he was doing and all he was sacrificing in order to help out people while not being understanding of the hard position he's in.

I'm honestly kinda mixed on this...

On one hand, if she knew what he was going through, why didn't she make the first move and cleared everything so they could try actually working through this together? You know, trying to make the life of the guy who's constantly having his head smacked against the pavement a little easier?

On the other hand... The fact that Mark has a noble and important job does not absolve him of the fact he was promising her a relationship without letting her know what she was in for.

Yeah, she found out, but what if she hadn't? Mark would have dropped new information into her lap that would completely change everything about their future together.

If this was like, after a week into dating, then sure, he's right in not knowing if he should tell her or not, but five freaking months? I feel like by that time he should already be sure if he really wants to stay with her or not and if she could handle the truth or not.

It's a delicate situation but... I feel like I'm siding with Amber in this one. I feel like Mark should have been honest much earlier or have broken up with her himself if he wasn't ready to let her know what kind of life she would have to deal with, and I feel it's fair for Amber to feel like she was being treated like an idiot for not being told what kind of relationship she would need to prepare for.

It's not even that it would be a hard to adjust relationship for her to accept, it's the fact he kept acting like he could control everything when he clearly couldn't. He wasn't acting like they were partners in a relationship, he was acting like she was just a thing he needed to handle so she would be happy... which, honestly? Feels like a very common relationship problem.

Someone trying to be the one handling everything without letting your partner help you out in it so you two can deal with it together because you don't trust their ability to accept you or don't think they have anything to contribute.

Mind you... I feel like the scene was a little too rushed and the big problems to address weren't made very clear, which end up making Amber look like a kid that's mad their best friend didn't share a secret with them.

I like the idea and the message, but I don't think they executed in the best way they could.

And now finally, the Lois and Clark scene from episode 5.

In this episode, Lois snaps at Clark for hiding about being Superman after spending a whole episode trying to get him to confess to her the truth, resulting in her trying to catch him with his guard down and eventually resulting in her throwing herself off a building so he could fly and save her.

The two end up fighting, Lois because she feels betrayed and Clark because she's not seeing where he's coming from and ending on a sort of "We're no longer friends!" moment.

From what I saw, people seem more forgiving of this scene than the one from Invincible.

My take on it is... I actually think Lois is 100% in the wrong in this situation, and I much prefer how it was handled in Invincible.

Keeping in mind, Clark and Lois have flirted multiple times throughout the series so far, but they are not in a relationship.

Clark doesn't owe Lois a thing. If anything, Lois owes Clark a lot for all the times she herself tricked him, used him, and had her life saved by him. Not to mention, Clark has said to her that he himself is still figuring out things, so even if he wanted to tell her, what would he even have to tell?

This isn't a "How could you not tell me you were this kind of person when you asked me out?" situation, this is just a person who doesn't feel comfortable talking about his secret not talking about his secret, a very harmless secret that does not affect her whatsoever.

The most you can say is that he kept her running around on a wild goose chase after Superman even though Superman was right there the whole time... Except he didn't? Cause we see multiple times Clark as Clark going to Lois "Maybe you should stop obsessing over Superman?" But she simply refused to listen to him.

So, unless I'm missing another point of view that I didn't consider yet (which could always happen, I'm always ready to be proven wrong and take in a new perspective), I feel like Lois has no leg to stand on, and I feel like the Lois scene is honestly much worse than the Amber scene.

Now... Does this mean I hate Lois? Of course not, because the story isn't over yet. All it means is that I'm gonna be very skeptical towards her character depending on how they handle her moving forward.

I love good redemption arcs. I love stories about characters making a mistake, realizing it, and then learning from it and thus teaching the viewer a valuable lesson they might need to learn too.

If they are to use this as some sort of setup to explore why someone would be so unhealthily obsessed with the truth to the point where they would ignore their own friend's feelings I would be interested in seeing it.

If they were to use it to teach some lesson about the importance of respecting boundaries and not being so demanding of facts 24/7 and so entitled towards crucial information always being in your lap with no effort (which is a lesson the internet desperately needs to learn), I would be down for it.

They could use it to teach a lesson about how sometimes you just don't need to know everything.

I don't know, I'm hopeful.

Maybe they make good use of this direction the story took, maybe they don't. We'll have to wait and see.

Like I said above, I do think there's a time and place to share certain things with certain people. I don't think this was the time and place or the thing to share, but I still wanna see where they go with it before making my call.

Fingers crossed!

[larathia]

A note on my feelings about Nate.

As a character he wasn't awful. He also wasn't worth keeping around that actor for. When I say I miss Nate as the mastermind, and that the Redemption crew seems a bit milquetoast to me, I'm not saying "bring Nate back".

I'm saying bring Nate's anger back.

I'm saying that whoever fills that final slot needs to be fucking pissed off at the marks. That they need to be someone who sees the mark not as "someone with money to be stolen" or "someone more evil than me", but someone who understands that what the marks have done is wrong. That the only justice a lot of people are going to get is the Leverage crew's handiwork because this mark, this asshole, lives in a rigged system with rigged rules and knows how to evade any other attempt at justice, at fairness.

That's what Nate brought to the team. The rest of the team knew they were crooks from the outset, and they rarely judge the people they're taking down. The marks have money, they've pissed people off, that's...most of what the rest of the crew thinks about it. It was Nate that went "this person has done evil. This person has destroyed lives ...not even 'just because they could' but because those lives were between the mark and another dollar. And those lives had value, and that value is going to be taken out of the mark's hide."

It was Nate that knew fury. It was Nate that knew rage.

Mr. Wilson....is just like the rest of the crew, frankly. He knows he's done bad and his time with Leverage is him trying to make up for it. Hence, "Redemption".

Nate wasn't about redemption. He was about bloody snarling claws-out balls-to-the-wall vengeance.

Now, that came with a lot of baggage, and I wouldn't mind in the least if that got shuffled around, or skipped over, or whatever.

But damn, I miss the rage.