#looking at them. thats my kind of brand
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the kind of only looking at each other when the other isn't looking sort of dynamic though ...
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#saw fanart where you see two characters look at each other with so much love and adoration in their eyes ... only when the other wasnt#looking at them. thats my kind of brand#thats the kind of love somewhere i imagine myself into having.#broooo the crushing. the ANGST OF THIS. thinking its not requited but man it so IS...#good evening dash its not getting out of my mind any time soon#have messages to get to sending#AND to reply to. im sorry if anyones confused about that.#i am. very excitedly. off for a WHOLE WEEK after tomorrow (technically my longest holiday of the year so far#im planning on doing smth super long in the work universe for xmas u see .... )#if i dont come out of my week next week feeling accomplished ill be sad :')#big love to u alll! ill be in ur dms soon (this is a threat full of love <3)
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a big brain dump about autism, life, being indigenous, and whatever else is going on
so the past few months I made it a personal journey to understand my autism more (and maybe a possible ptsd diagnosis but whatever whatever whatever). and that's what i'm calling it--the autism--because no other thing makes sense for me, and while i'm parsing through childhood memories and experiences, it's definitely...a bittersweet conclusion? bitter because in a lot of ways, i dont relate to the stereotypical autistic experience because every autistic person who has clocked me was usually a White Queer. It's probably why it's taken so long to get to this point of concluding Autism is what it is. I grew up in an immigrant family as a girl, and for that reason I was expected to not be disabled and to be a completely normal and high achieving Mexican catholic girl who went to college and became a doctor or whatever. Now i'm a fag of a man doing none of those things haha.
My older brother was supposed to be assessed for ASD in his youth, and like most immigrant dads, mine decided that nothing was wrong with him and the rest is history. Except my older brother is a man riddled with childhood trauma, shame, and so much autism. Absolutely uncharted rates of autism, and while he gets some sort of pity from my parents for him ("it's all out fault" "he never got the help he needed" "cut him some slack he doesnt understand"), I can never let my own parents know about how much I struggle. Hell, I can barely show it to my own friends because even they don't understand the extent of my autistic struggles. it's actually caused continuous miscommunications, people mad at me, me mad at myself, meltdowns, shutdowns, and a lot of crying. And shame. (a peer recently even demeaned my habit of keeping to myself, despite the fact that I had actually been trying to put myself out there more)
so i'm at a point in my life where I've accepted that I can only take responsibility over how I communicate, and I take ownership over that. Accepting this responsibility allows me to keep myself safe, as I've essentially lived over 2 decades of my life feeling like I was responsible for not just my communication, but everyone else's, including all of the judgements, missed cues, failures, miscommunications, and whatever else came from it. It's definitely double empathy. Last time I truly took on everyone's communication, it nearly killed me (cue over a year of suicidality). But, in a lot of ways it's very freeing. I'm sort of detaching myself from this neurotypical/White need to socially interact with others on their terms. In other ways, it's restricting. I uh. Don't really talk to a lot of people nowadays, and there used to be days where I wouldn't say a single word out loud. But because I don't talk to as many people, I'm able to put energy into the quality of my connections and not just the quantity. Which unfortunately a lot of people take personally. They dont like you admitting that you only see them as an acquittance, or as a classmate, or something like a friend but not quite there. I find comfort knowing how people feel about me, even if its that they actually dont feel close to me. Great! Now I know! Knowing makes me feel safe! But I'm finding that people actually really fucking hate when you admit that to them, the how you actually slot them in ur brain in terms of social levels. I can understand why, but I also don't get it.
Another thing that's helped is I've changed how I do eye contact. I used to make eye contact with professors or classmates while I spoke up in class because I thought that was important. Now I've found I can actually focus more on what I'm trying to say when I don't make eye contact. My god how freeing that has been. I don't have the same anxiety as I used to before, nor do I experience all of the involuntary blushing as I did for many years of my life. It didn't matter how confident or how prepared I felt, I would just blush furiously and I fucking hate it. Now my blushing is almost nonexistent, and I say what I mean with the flat ass tone that I love speaking in because it makes me feel safe. Sure, I miss the real-time non-verbal reactions to my words in class, but it's an okay trade-off for feeling more safe in myself and more confident in the classroom.
another thing is my internship. I work with majority neurodivergent students, and many of my clients have autism, adhd, or both, and are sometimes BIPOC, trans, or children of immigrants. Man, I've been having a blast. Sure, I'm learning how to be a therapist and best practices, but screw everyone in my life who has called me "cold" "emotionless" or "heartless". I have connected with so many people on such a human level, and I have sat there and helped them hold their pain in that tiny gay office for 45 minutes every week, and even though it's only 45 minutes, i'm showing them that they're allowed to ask for help holding that pain. I have had challenging sessions, difficult conversations, and times where I wasn't sure I would know what to say. But at it's core, I know that I'm capable of connecting with the person in front of me because my autism brain is automatically in tune with the person in front of me. It is so wonderful, and overwhelming, and so confusing all at once. When people start crying in front of me, I feel tears well up in my eyes, even if I'm not actually sad with them. It shows me that I'm capable of this empathy that so many people over my life have questioned, which they questioned all because I processed things slowly, or made quick decisions, or because I was honest about how I felt.
on to being mixed indigenous. Phew. I've been trying to build more connections with other Native folk, and I have a couple who I can thankfully call friends and who have never disrespected my detribalized experience. but recently I was interviewed a few times for a fellow indigenous researcher's dissertation, and I did not expect to be chosen on account that I am detribalized. But it had been a lovely experience and I finished my final interview today. It really left me with a lot of emotions that are hard to put into words. Mourning would be one of them, as I likely won't ever know what my tribal affiliation is. Never knowing who my people were, what language they spoke, the land they lived on...I can't describe just how much it destroys me. It feels like literal death, because that's what it is. A disgusting colonial death. And it's why I abhor that of all my identities, being autistic and being mixed indigenous has been met with the most vitriol online. like i guess people can only handle the trans fag mexican dude when hes not autistic and mixed indigenous, because now I am far too ambigious for anyone else's good. though i do know better than to listen to what random people online have to say about me and my path toward reconnection/neurodivergency.
beside's that, i'm trying to find neurodivergent spaces that feel safe, and I'm trying to find ways to keep myself safe. stimming, carrying stuffed animals around, using fidget toys, engaging in my interests, listening to the same songs, eating the same foods. I've had coffee with bagel and chive+onion cream cheese for over a year now. I've listening to almost only Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains for nearly a year now. I rewatch the same youtube videos over and over again. I wear the same few outfits. I wear the same shoes everyday. I walk the same way to and from campus everyday. I try to be in nature as much as I can, and really see it. I imagine nature where it isn't, and I get emotional thinking about the life that used to be on it. I wish so badly that I was a cat, a horse, a bunny, a deer, all so I could experience life through their eyes. i'm putting trust into people, into the universe, and into myself. safety is hard to come by, but im doing my best to accept the risks of life, trying to be flexible, and learn how to sustain myself for the good of the world. I deserve to be here too.
that's about it. besides that, i'm moving to philly once i'm done with grad school ^-^
#muerto talks#im trying to honor myself more and let myself cry#its okay to take my time to understand my feelings#they catch up to me#all ive ever asked for is time#so im allowing that for myself#ive been a little exhuasted over social communications over the past few months honestly#yknow like when u ask people if theyre okay and theyre like “yeah im doing good” and then u believe them#and then they get mad at u for not pressing them on that and asking them again or digging into their response#yeah ive kind of had that kind of miscommunication over the last few weeks alone and it just tuckered me out#i was like wow i thought i was doing really good staying up with all these new people and dynamics and lingo#welp had to fuck up at some point#i think thats what im trying to convey about not taking sole responsibility for all communication#i just cant it would kill me like it tried to kill me before#and just because people are neurodivergent doesnt mean theyll be curious about your own brand of neurodivergency#anyway i am looking forward to moving to philly once this is all done#boston is definitely not home but im grateful for the time i had here even if a lot of it was painful#but im ready to return to the people and places that feel like home#besides that ive turned in all my finals#just this last week and im out of here for the winter break#i wish everyone love and healing and rest <3
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WE GOTTEM BOYS
#hate my home lcs lowkey. or well thats kind of strong but they reorganized everything sometime recently and its soooo unintuitive#this was on the shelves but i couldnt find it -- which before i also couldnt find 1 and 2 so i had to go behind the counter#but the guy this time got confused and was trying to set up a pull etc but im living at school so it would only be over breaks blah blah#way too complicated a concept for them and my mom was like double parked outside xyz#thankfully the other guy stepped in and just got me one off the shelf which again. horribly organized im so sorry. before they had it split#up by brand and now they dont but the store is segmented weird and their alphabetical is so stupid like AWW is under W not A which i checked#but lowk W is kind of hidden and then they have a whole section of like variants thats kind of in the way??? just its NAWT the move guys#also i just feel like theyre generally kind of unhelpful and i hate how the store is laid out sm#its also RIGHT across from the grocery store and has big windows aimed right at the comics selection like guys plssss i do not need the mom#of someone i knew in middle school witnessing me here rn. be so fr#i just like the other one better bc it makes sense and is in this little basement under the target and theyre super friendly and love#talking. i go to look for smth and we make a whole lil conversation nerding out abt multiple things likee#i read saga bc of them lol#i bought me historica hardcover there and the next time i went i mentioned to them i liked ww and they were all like#“omg you need to read historia its sooo good” like girl I KNOW RIGHT!!! (to the 40yo man)#i mean the one dude there is a total tom king warrior which like oop but hes nice so its okay. let him push some woman of tomorrow i can#handle it lol. anyways like the college one way better but havent been since september bc the AWW drops keep mostly coinciding w my trips#home and all. someday#what was i saying. oh yeah my potatoes are ready bye
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its interesting as someone who used to be a bit closer to the very online capital A "Art Community" but is now a little more outside of it and focused on local art academia etc instead because the former always compliments me on "art style" and the latter always compliments me on the supposedly bizarre subject matter choices i make... its not bad its just interesting to see those two bubbles and how surprisingly separated they can be. unfortunately for them both, my art style is only Like This because i have a learning disability that slightly colours every line i draw and the unusual compositional choices like only drawing one eye and shit is because i was on deviantart in 2009 <3
#i dunno i was thinking about this because i was doing some experimentation with different ways to draw cartoon characters#i used to do it way more often but recently ive been super busy from school and family stuff going on (nothing bad just a lot of work)#the bmpmp3's artstyle is only extremely consistent when shes stressed!!!! jk jk but kinda LOL#if im too busy to play around my drawings will slip into whatevers comfortable for my dysgraphic hand <3 <3 <3#but i loooove experimenting and fucking around. consistency for brand purposes is long outside of my perspective at this point#do i wanna draw detailed hair and faces... do i not.... who knows. it will change within the hour#i do appreciate when people compliment my art style tho even tho its not something i really try to do#because while i dont try to make things look a certain way - recently i had decided to not hold back on my dysgraphic nature#i probably talked about it before. instead of painfully agonizing and trying to get a line perfect and scrapping a whole drawing because#of the hand-got-tired-after-2-lines jerks and wiggles i just decided to leave that all in. show off the drawing even if its scribbly#the other day i got a compliment saying my art style is robust. im not sure i fully grasp what that means but i really like that compliment#its very evocative. robust..... gonna be thinking about it for a while#but im not joking about the academia thing professors get so baffled by some of my drawing choices and like i straight up tell them#these are habits of children largely. children on early internet in my case that i never grew out of but also habits that children still us#go on an art website and sort by new and look up fanart for something popular with kids and you'll probably see someone doing#stuff with similar artistic choices. maybe not the same because i am 26. but similar. coming from similar places.#they always laugh and seem to think im being humble or making a joke.... im not orz im not trying to downplay my skills either#if anything im trying to bring up the skills of a thousand children uploading oc art every moment of every day.... they are out there...#yeah i dunno its funny these different relationships im having to different art worlds. in the end i will always probably be a tiny bit#outside of them all as some kind of alien or creature masquerading as human but i think thats what we're all doing after all
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#im all for curating ur online space to just the things u like#but whats just annoying to see is when a page shows their stance on a very important political issue and comments r like#“i thought u were a [content] page. why are u bringing politics into this?” maybe YOU would like to stay blissfully ignorant#but to the cc it was important to show people where they stand on it. and its not even off brand for their page either#theyre BUNNY TRAINERS. if this persons been actually reading the things the cc has been posting about its VERY on brand.#its basically taking people away from their living space and putting them in foreign environments and no resources#is obviously bad for their mental and can leave them with trauma. no support system or safety either in undamiliar places.#thats so scary. and to be forcefully removed is the worst part. and she literally says she works w mammals and thats the connection#on why she feels she needs to address it or how she'll support her statement like. its not rocket science.#and anyway i understand curating your online experience but asking why people living in a that country are addressing#political issues is just fucking stupid. AND ITS JUST ONE POST MIND YOU.#and again shes not even like a cute bunny page or anything. shes a bunny trainer.#none of her posts are “look at this cute bunny🥰” its literally shit like#if ur bunny is biting u its scared of u and probs thinks ur a predator#and if u react aggressively ull reaffirm their beliefs and ittl get worse. also some bunnies are so scared that even just yelping#even if u werent aggressive can startle them. so sometimes u just have to just gloves and show them biting doesnt do anything.#LIKE ITS THAT KIND OF SHIT. ofc she would address it this way like it literally makes sense😭#and shes very firm on her stance too! ^^#but yeah my thing is like. im also very shut off from everything but not this shut off.#why do people so badly want to close themselves off from reality like this? it doesnt make sense. esp if it isnt affecting you.#address it and support those who are willing to support others who need the help. you could scroll past one post.#youll live. but other people wont. like it makes me so mad when people shut things out and blatantly say shit like#“ughh politics 🙄” GIRL SHUT UP!!#i do understand if there are maybe graphic pictures attached to every post and you cant take it so you have to block a tag#or avoid news. fine. i understand it makes people uneasy. but this person does not seem bothered by people being wronged.#they just seem to want this to be a cute bunny viewing page. which it literally fucking isnt.#anyway. fuck that person and fuck the rest of you who cant just hit unfollow or scroll past ONE post before you fucking yap.#SOME PEOPLE CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE IN DANGER. the LEAST these pages can do is explain whats going on and how its bad.#44597
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xoxo, gossip girl
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you kind of popped into lando's life out of nowhere-and he loves it. but there's no such thing as being private when you're dating a formula one driver. sorry, did i say dating? i mean when you're friends.
a/n: yay first smau of the year and the second driver i'm writing for! i started watching gossip girl recently n i was inspired
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liked by alex_albon and 128,407 others
f1gossipofficial: mclaren's lando norris was spotted out and about in the big apple last night with a mystery girl!
view all 6,353 comments
user1: uh oh magui's going to be mad...
user2: ngl thought that was her at first user3: they got back together AGAIN?? user1: @/user3 someone posted a vid of them partying
user4: alex being messy in the likes LMAOOO
user5: aww did he give her his hoodie in p1
user6: such a gentleman 😍 user7: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT user8: girl be fr he's nothing compared to osc
user9: lando stick to one girl at a time will you
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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replies:
hannahstjohn: i bet you're glad i convinced you to get dinner w me that day 👅
yourinstagram: oh shush i had to sit through two hours of you and liam gazing into each other's eyes. DISGUSTING. hannahstjohn: please. don't act like you even looked at anyone other than him
yourbff: regular dates now i see...
yourinstagram: we're just friends!!
lando: i learned for you 🥺
yourinstagram: liar lando: hello?? yourinstagram: you literally told me the other day you used to do your sister's hair lando: maybe i lied yourinstagram: well you definitely did at some point
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liked by hannahstjohn and 203,991 others
f1gossipofficial: we think it's getting serious with y/n l/n, daughter of NYC-based tech mogul y/d/n l/n, and lando norris. rumor has it that they met through liam lawson and his girlfriend hannah. despite the newly promoted red bull driver lacking friends across the grid, norris is probably grateful for the introduction 😉
y/n and lando were spotted at not one, not two, but SIX different locations across new york in the past week. above is a compilation of photos fans have taken of them dining out, shopping, and even going to the opera together.
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user1: grocery shopping?? do they live together already??
user2: sleazy af if they do user3: maybe they wanted to cook something together its not that deep
user4: what a golddigger...
user5: how is she a gold digger user4: @/user5 did you not see how she dressed for the opera? probably his money she spent on that dress user6: the way people r so illiterate and yet so confident drive me crazy IT LITERALLY SAYS HER DAD IS A TECH MOGUL user7: i don't even know what a mogul is but it sounds rich user8: @/user6 right and if you just googled her dad you'd figure his sister was the one owns the brand she's wearing 💀
user9: the way he looks at her in p1 though
user10: wonder how long they've known each other 🤔
user11: hannah we see you
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lando has added to their stories
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replies:
user1: LANDO DID YOU POST ON THE WRONG ACC
oscarpiastri: mate
lando: 🥺 yes osc? oscarpiastri: lily says this is why you've been in NYC for so long lando: idk lily's always right oscarpiastri: you said it was for a brand deal! lando: maybe her dad wants to sponsor mclaren lando: actually forget about that i think he already does 💀 oscarpiastri: i don't like talking to you on instagram text me lando: what if i don't. lando: hello???
mclaren: so cute!
lando: HI ADMIN
maxverstappen: someone's been busy
yourinstagram: what happened to being private 😭 now they definitely think we're dating
lando: sorry i didn't know it was such a bad thing yourinstagram: at least my fake boyfriend is a lot of people's celebrity crush yourinstagram: can't be ruining my image
user2: LANDO ARE YOU STALKING THE #LANDOYN TAG ON TWITTER?? HOW DID YOU FIND THAT??
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liked by scuderiaferrari, redbullracing, and 1,913,500 others
f1: lovely seeing all of you at the o2 ❤️ we hope you enjoyed the livery reveals! one week until pre-season testing begins in bahrain.
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user1: admin you know what you're doing with that pic of lando
user2: missing him and yn *liked by f1 user2: f1 a landoyn stan confirmed?
user3: eh liveries, great articles about max trying to get out of going
user4: alexandra the prettiest wag
user5: yn appearance when 😔 did anyone see how he looked around for her then stopped bcs he remembered she wasn't there
user6: I KNEW I WASN'T CRAZY
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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replies:
lando: did me so dirty with that pic
yourinstagram: shh you look adorable lando: adorable AND pretty? you flatter me yourinstagram: don't get used to it
yourbff: "friends"
yourinstagram: but you're my best friend 😋 yourbff: cause he's more than a friend where is your media literacy
hannahstjohn: I SAW HIM CALLING YOU BACKSTAGE
yourinstagram: so did everyone else it seems hannahstjohn: whoever runs the f1 account loves wag appearances🤷♀️
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lando has added to their stories 🔁 yourinstagram's story
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replies:
oscarpiastri: are you sure you don't like her
oscarpiastri: sorry i meant are you sure you're not in love with each other lando: you know i think she might fancy me a little oscarpiastri: a little?? lando: im not sure how i feel about her though oscarpiastri: the cameras literally caught you blushing on call lando: ARE YOU SERIOUS oscarpiastri: yeah admin outed you oscarpiastri: they tagged you
user1: posted her on main again aww
yourinstagram: im not even complaining
lando: am i that charming yourinstagram: no i just look great in that photo yourinstagram: y/n l/n, absolute baddie who bagged what's his name norris lando: ☹️ yourinstagram: its okay your fangirls still love you
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liked by oscarpiastri, f1, and 330,217 others
mclaren: lando when y/n calls him (for legal reasons we can't repost that clip until f1 posts it but you know which one we're talking about 🤐)
tagged: lando
view all 57,341 comments
user1: admin you're so brave * liked by mclaren
f1: it's okay we won't rat you out
mclaren: thanks bestie!
user2: oscar crying in the club because his boyfriend is in love with someone else
user3: @/oscarpiastri would you like to comment user4: he's been crying since jan prob
lando: admin i am literally going to hunt you down
oscarpiastri: he follows the landoyn tag on twitter lando: @/oscarpiastri HELLO??? mclaren: he said it not me user5: they're so chaotic
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bahrain
you saw him get out of his car, landing evenly on the ground. you looked at oscar, who gave you a small nudge. "go on, he doesn't know it yet."
"what if he doesn't-"
"then he's a dickhead for leading you on." you liked his bluntness. it was a change from how polite he normally was. and it showed just how strongly he believed it.
you nodded, then strode forward. you could hear the cameras turning, but it didn't matter. lando had taken off his helmet, and his back was to you as he talked to his race engineer.
it was now or never. you gave him a small tap on the shoulder. he whirled around so fast you almost toppled backwards. realizing it was you, his hands shot out and wrapped around your waist. "y/n? oh my god."
you gave him a shy smile, wrapping your arms around him. "told you it was good."
he buried his face in your neck, embracing you so tight you didn't know if he was capable of letting go. eventually, he did.
"so what did you have to tell me?"
you blinked at him slowly. "try to guess."
his eyes widened, as if a hope had come into him. "you won't laugh?"
a shake of your head. "promise."
"then-" he bit his lip, looking down for a minute. "do you like me, like that?"
"what are we, in grade school?" you deadpanned. you saw his heart plummet, then wanted to take back your words. "yes, lando. yes, i came all this way just to see your stupid face. yes, i like you. like that. like i can't get your smile out of my head and i'll stay up until 5 just to watch you hold an award. like i'll respond to you any time, because talking to you is-"
he raised one of his hands ever so slightly so he could pull you closer, so close his lips were on yours and you were cut off mid-sentence. you'd been waiting for this since you'd met him, you realized. since you'd first seen that curly mop of hair at dinner with liam and hannah. since the first time he'd laughed and you realized you'd never heard a prettier sound.
"i like you like that too."
and the cameras caught all that, words and kiss and pictures and all, but it was different. this was something you wanted to remember.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by yourinstagram and 1,504,891 others
lando: a great end to pre-season testing, all thanks to my lucky charm 🤍
tagged: yourinstagram
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yourinstagram: me fr -> 🍀
yourinstagram: (get it. FOUR leaf clover) lando: i literally worship the ground you walk on lando: you're the reason i believe in fate yourinstagram: woah slow down there buddy user1: i'm so single its not okay user2: they're basically a married couple already
mclaren: your team in the garage rn like 🧍♀️🧍
lando: love you guys too! user3: @/mclaren f1 account alr posted kiss why have you not 😡 mclaren: @/user3 we're carefully selecting the cutest ones
hannahstjohn: lando norris and his "friend"
yourinstagram: IM STUPID OKAY hannahstjohn: can't believe it took you that long
user4: hes so happy 🥹
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
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yourinstagram: by your side 🖤
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tagged: lando
lando: baby where'd all your posts go ☹️
yourinstagram: oh i forgot to add you to my close friends lando: is that because we're more than just friends yourinstagram: no i just forgot user1: HELPP
user2: hottest WAG on the grid
oscarpiastri: i'm sure you'll take good care of him
yourinstagram: scout's honor 🫡
user3: okay her dress is so pretty though where's it from
yourinstagram: my aunt's brand! (brandname) <3 user3: @/yourinstagram OMG TYSM QUEEN
user4: she finally made her acc public AHH does this mean landoyn content
lewishamilton: lovely meeting you, y/n
yourinstagram: 🤩 you too lewis!!! lando: you're such a fan. yourinstagram: you're just jealous
#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#formula one#formula one x reader#f1 smau#lando norris smau#f1 x you#lando norris x you#oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩
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celebrity energy⋆.ೃ࿔*:・💅🏽
so i got an ask about this a while ago and i wanted to make a post about it but i went on hiatus 😭 so im making the post now. thank you to the anonie who asked the question that inspired this post and i hope you see this cuz it answers ur ask...💬🎀
THE TRIPLE C'S ;
while making the notes for celebrity energy (the big C) and i was able to umbrella it to three main points. those points being confidence, cuntiness, and charisma.
confidence ; celebrities need to have undeniable confidence in themselves and their abilities. they're famous for a reason and they know that. work on ur self concept and watch ur confidence sky rocket.
cuntiness ; to be cunty is to be feminine and aware of urself. be cunty in the things that u do and the way that u handle urself. to be cunty is to find the perfect balance of inner strength and delicateness. cunt = refined.
charisma ; authenticity is the heart of charisma. be authentic and dont be afraid to take up space.
ALL ABOUT IMAGE ;
to have celebrity you need an image to put forward. this is where the power of social media comes in. your social media is like your brand. in this day and age social media is such a powerful tool not only for networking but also for getting u into places that u wanna get to.
in order to do that though u need to learn how to formulate ur own distinct image and advertise it expertly on social media.
PERSONAL BRAND AND REPUTATION ;
to further touch on those points ur social media IS your brand. this section kind of ties in with the next but im trying to distinguish between the two. so ur personal brand is what u do. so lets say ur rly SUPER smart and ur known for getting A's on like everything.
that is ur personal brand and that comes with a reputation that u may or may not feel obligated to uphold. but its important to uphold a reputation of some sort. with that being said be careful of what u post on ur social media because DIGITAL FOOTPRINT IS REAL. and when people look at ur social media they're seeing a representation of what ur putting out to the world so always be mindful.
WHATS UR SIGNATURE ;
you need something about yourself that’s gonna set you apart. the way that you walk the way that you dress the way that you do ur makeup etc. decide what kind of energy u wanna serve, and SERVE IT. i choose to serve princess energy and i could write a whole separate post on that but find someone who serves that same energy so that u can learn from them.
remember, dont introduce urself as a vibe that u cannot maintain
but back to what we were talking about what is your SIGNATURE. what makes u or people think "yea thats so (insert ur name)" is the way that u talk or the way that u carry yourself. make sure to refine urself and be ur own distinct individual.
and dont be afraid to play around with signatures, ur allowed to have a few or one singular one, dont limit urself and keep trying until u can create the perfect one for you…💬🎀
while on the topic of signatures i wanna touch on STAR QUALITY. learn how to market urself not only as a person but as ur own brand. star quality is the perfect blend of (talent + training + confidence)
POLISH YOURSELF ;
refinement refinement refinement. u need to be studying yourself and you need to be able to see urself from other point of views. seeing urself from other point of views can be so refreshing and useful and it rly helps when ur trying to polish urself.
take impeccable care for urself and constantly show urself that u love urself. polish the way that u talk and the way that u carry yourself so that u can be exuding so much you-energy. its basically taking ur signature and the energy that u exude -> and refining it.
you have to create the energy before fame comes. if u wanna have celebrity energy u have to start getting comfortable with putting urself out there which leads me to my next point...💬🎀
KILL CRINGE ;
when people call u cringe thats like them exposing their fear of being seen and analyzed by the world. they're upset because ur putting urself out there and they're insecure, but thats for them to fix within themselves. so dont take it personally when someone calls u cringe.
furthermore ur fear of being cringe is holding u back because ur always overthinking everything and u won't let urself do anything even if it'll help you because ur worried it might be cringe or ur worried what other people think so nip that in the bud and let urself live! u might have haters but dont let urself be ur own hater.
SOME MORE SOURCES ;
THE IMPORTANCE OF BRANDING
MIRROR WORK + AFFIRMATIONS
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#advice#self care#self love#that girl#law of assumption#it girl energy#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#manifestation#manifestation tips#manifesting#celebrity energy#energy#hyper femininity#confidence#confidence tips#charisma#vibe#princess energy#princess#kill cringe#self awareness#self development
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Your future spouse first impression of you ?
+ your first meeting details
Posted on : 19 nov , 2024
Pac #2♠️ of my future spouse series
All of my pacs are queer friendly
Since not everyone wants to get married , you could read for your s/o as well
Pics & dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners @/saradika
Apologizes for any mistake
Let me know which pile you picked & dont be afraid to express your thoughts!!
Pile l . Pile ll . Pile lll.
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Pile l .
The situation?
You are definately in an event together but you dont know each other for sure , you catch their attention first but its not very direct , this situation is very passive i'm seeing a scenario where someone actually saw the other person because of an accident its like you caught their attention by accident, this is an open space it could be a garden , an amusement park some sort of gathering or a wedding , there's people but they are minding their own business i do get a lot of chitter chatter so it could be a lively event . Yeah so back to the situation, i feel like maybe someone fell or something fell and you were around that object in that space so it all happened very naturally and the other person is prob sitting somewhere maybe a bar or some corner and they are bored asf ,this person seems to be drinking something as well , you both are well dressed they seem wasted and kind of intimidating to approach.
Why did you caught their attention?
Your person is in a time n space where they are not really feeling a lot hope or happiness, nothing bad has happened its just they are in a reflective/hermit mode and they dont have any energy or interest to interact with others, they could be going through their 12h transit so they are appearing to be very mysterious than they intend to , i'm seeing its love at first sight but you guys won't be that forward with each other your love story will slowly gets to its destination, so this person will for sure see you first but you are very much not aware , you on the other hand seems to be in a good mood , you could be picking up something for someone it could be a glass or some sort of utensil that made a loud noise lol or maybe someone tripped and fell & you kind of helped them out , you will feel as though someone is staring at you and yep you are right its them your fs , its not that awkward for both of you tbh you guys are feeling attracted to each other its like something clicked and you cant look away ,you guys will be sneakingly stealing glances throughout the night and did i mention? its late evening vibes , as i said this person will be feeling nervous its like they wanna say something do something they are very much on edge there's this fear of time , they will be contemplating on their thoughts should i go ? I dont know ? What to do ? Blah blah n stuff . Now onto my readers , you guys are feeling confident you are feeling brave in this situation you could be air signs or there's this Airy fairy vibes to you , you could be a scorpio moon as well or it could be just you are taking in everything and being in control of your emotions
Who will approach who first ?
I see there is some third party that will interfere like a friend or an acquaintance , they could be pulling you guys for a dance, for a game, just anything and thats when you will decide to approach them but its very subtle like oh i love what you're wearing? Navy blue ... its my favourite colour or you could just go and sit beside them ,So yeah those kind of small talk will lead to bigger things between you guys , you and your person are very similar to each other , you could come from same hometown you could be wearing same brand clothes , you could love cats and they could have a cat child as well . I do see you exchanging socials or trying to be with each other often . This person will feel rejuvenated its like starting a new chapter & anything thats new is exciting, Its very clear you like each other but yeah you guys will take time to confess 🙂↔️✋🏽
Okay cool people this is all i got for you , its veey simple yet interesting .
The song i got for you is also very "interesting" because in that music video they use this theme of falling in love at first sight and they meet each other by accident but its all destiny , i mean you can watch for yourself .
Song :
Thanks for reading !!
Pile ll .
The situation?
This is the story you will remember and laugh , you both will meet through other people and you both had to interfer , you're trying to create peace between two people who are creating conflict, you could be at a shop buying something and i think a fight will break out and its very stupid like you dont have change ? You are the store owner you get it for me , and the other person is like you cant talk to me like that give my stuff back , get out ......(I suck at giving examples so bear with me 🥲✌🏽) it could be as small as that or as big as you both are divorce lawyers fighting a case for your clients , but yeah you dont have anything to do with this situation but you guys had to intervene , when this situation gets over , you guys are kind of discussing/ bitching abt it like your ideologies match ... " Oh people are so stupid nowadays" ..... "yeah i agree " they fight on such small things like there's no understanding in the world *there is this Aquarius situation* where you guys are somehow jumping from topic to topic and its very logical , i'm literally hearing someone get political like yeah its the government they suck they increased taxes 😭🙌🏼blah blah
This is so funny lmao , you unknowingly kind of clicked , it is a situation that involves two strangers and something abt buying or returning is involved , i could describe another scenario for you guys to understand this , it could be a family conflict , your friend arguing abt the last donut , or people pushing each other to buy merch at the concert and its ridiculous because they are pushing each others button so you guys are kind of being the responsibile one is what i'm getting. I feel like the reason this situation is funny is also it could be your friend and their friend is arguing abt something and you guys are Falling in love like oh i didn't knew you love hot food , yeah i totally recommend this restaurant its so great and in the background its like a whole world war 8 waiting to happen.
Why did you caught their attention?
Because you were there and they found you attractive , i'm seeing this is the pile of my introvert readers or in this situation you could appear very calm n collected ,one moment you are shopping you are looking good and the next moment your friend is fighting and the next you are finding a stranger attractive like everything is happening so fast that too in a day lol , you will be attracted to them because they are your type and this person has some GOOD communication skills as well as great fashion sense, its something abt their eyes or hair that will attract you . Anyways i think you will be in the same locality and you will keep meeting each other , i didn't knew you existed kind of situation, so in the morning you guys are in the same park , you are studying in the same uni , you are volunteering for the same organisation, they are your new neighbour, stuff like that 🐰👏🏼
Who will approach who first ?
Them because they do not want to loose a great connection, they could be a leo mars so if they like someone they go all in to shower the person they love with attention and care , your energy seems very inward and their outward in this situation, they are the type of person who will be always ready to help you , your showers not working i got it ? You want notes , i got it , they will lookout for you , i do think you are away from home so you could meet them when you are in a transition period and you will admire them , there won't be any obstacles like you guys are meeting freely n stuff so you both are independent and content with your life ,you both are a great addition to each others life its like i found a great companion in you . This person is sweet but protective its those people who wants to take their lover everywhere and hold their hand all day , your fs has this energy of hold my hand and travel the world with me , they are also very sensual, humble , sweet , i feel like this person is enamoured by your beauty they feel like they needed you in their life and when they have you they're not gonna let go .
As everyone knows , i do have a movie addict roommate and his tip is to watch the movie "ishq" . So yeah let me know what the story's about .
Chanelled song :
Thank you for reading !!
Pile lll .
*Sorry for cussing so much in your reading, when i channel i just pick up on things as they are *
The situation?
You guys are my starboys/girls ,you are those people who have high standards in love , you will meet them when you both are not looking for something serious , this person will tempt you to think differently about love , I'm seeing you will meet them when you're rigid about your values , you are in a fierce energy its like you will go through this whole transformation where many people will not resonate with you anymore and you will be looking good af , you will be in an energy where you will attract people to you , this person is someone who's also on the same length as you , you both will be in this...." i'm single & i'm hot"..... energy , people would wanna be friends with you n stuff , i feel like you will also be a completely different person when you meet them , you were an introvert ? now you are not . You used to drink ? now you dont . So you are changing a lot of things about yourself in general & so is this person , since you guys are my ...." i dont need anyone "....pile you both will fail to resist one another , i took an oath ? Nevermind i'm breaking it , its like you know those 2 friends in a group who everyone knows they are fucking behind our back but no one dares to ask yeah that's you guys , people don't really need to know if you are into each other its VERY obvious , this is that person who does not care they show their crazy in love ,if they dont like it they're gonna say it , they don't want you to wear that they're gonna say it and they win everytime, i feel like you will give in ,you might be an independent bitch but with them you are not , this is kind of my dark soul people who have seen things in life , got their heart broken , they resonate with dark music , their eyes look intense , they give off intimidating vibes and this person is also very similar to you , its like unconsciously you wanted someone as intense as you , where your intensity does not scare em .....it turns em on... and this is that person who will be the result of your manifestation's .
Not to mistake this love as some stupid love , you guys will have a level of dedication to your relationship, you have principles set for your relationship, like we won't say stupid stuff to each other when we are angry n stuff . You guys have a lot of respect and loyalty for one another this is the typical they were made for each other & they found one another , this is all they needed . You guys are that couple who haunt each other like crazy , you guys don't mind waiting for one another , you won't leave each other ever and i think they will soothe this fear of your's (abondonment in love )
I will say this is the standard we all need in love ngl ❤️🔥✋🏽🙂↔️
Why did you caught their attention?
Bro this person is down bad , i am hearing crazy things anyways ......what about you does not attract them ? Everything, they were attracted to your light, shadow self ,crazy self they knew you were theirs the moment they met you i didn't clearly got where they met you but its some cafe i hear light jazz yeah you both were relaxed and this place is expensive asf , you could also meet them on a beach i see sea view and dim lights , you could wear red that day like there's wine , music , people this place is cold too , yeah so they were atrracted to your energy you stood out to them maybe you were the only one zoned out i dont see you being interested in whatever's going on in the background but everyone's enjoying it like its a whole DAMN mood , this person will be with their friends just observing you and honestly they could challenge you in your first meeting, you both are giving hints to each other back to back , like i know i have power over you , i know what i'm doing, i know you are flirting with me and its working, they are coming off as cheesy ,this could be a restaurant but you are alone and kind of exhausted, you could also go to this place after a hectic day, this person's style reflects a carefree rebellion nature , there is something different about em they could have tattoos they could wear earings even if they identify as a men , maybe paint their nails , maybe the women's also have short hair they could also hair dye their hair , piercings, they could wear something black on their eyes idk what you call them idk maybe they dress emo but yeah they look like they believe in breaking stereotypes. I feel like you on the other hand does not experiment with their looks n stuff but you will be during the time you meet this person , they might assume you are like them .
Who will approach whom first ?
Both of you are giving signals to each other , i do see someone behaving over the top here like they are risking it all *being very obvious in approaching the other * ahh idk i'm confused but their actions will flatter you for sure, its very clear to you , maybe there's a singer in that bar or place & this person will tell them to dedicate a song to you but there's a challenge here for sure , you think they are challenging you on something but its very playful and not hostile , it could also be a hookup but you will meet again and when you do its gonna be shocking maybe they are your senior or smth .
Song :
Thanks for reading!!
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“Bout time you answered the damn phone..”
You wrinkle your nose at the hint of attitude in Toji’s deep voice, finding it a little cute since you knew that just his personality.
With your phone tucked between your ear and shoulder, you continued working down the mountain of laundry in the basket on your living room floor.
“Uhm, rude?” you snort, tossing a freshly folded towel to join its appropriate pile before picking up another.
“What ever happened to ‘hello’ or ‘hey big booty’ ?”
“I reserve those types of greetings for girlfriends that pick up the first time I call.”
At that you roll your eyes, snatching up another towel.
“Girlfriends? So theres others?” you begin folding it. The faint sound of echoe’d music and a muffled voice requesting assistance in the frangrance department let you know Toji was out and about, more than likely at some convenience store.
The big nasty was probably restocking on condoms and that special brand of lube he used on you a while back. The one that resulted in you needing to change your bed sheets.
Twice.
“See, I could play your game and say there are others just to fuck with you....’xcuse me...” he pauses to say to an older woman he squeezed past in the aisle.
“...but you cant take a damn joke and I plan on getting some tonight.”
You pert your lips at the statement but dont argue. Even in the several months you and Toji became exclusive, it was true that his sense of humor surpassed yours when it came to him and other women. You werent nearly as possessive or jealous as he was (usually), but he knew better than to test it.
“Smart. Im glad you value your life. Talk to me nice.” you respond in the most brattish way, making your boyfriend chuckle dryly on the other end of the phone.
“Shut up. Anyway, what kind of soap do you use again? I vaguely remember what it looks like but theres 5 bottles that match what I see in my brain.”
“Soap? Like to wash my body?” you furrow your brow distractedly, continuing to fold clothes.
“Naw to wash your dog.” he tosses back sarcasticaly. If there was a camera crew in your house, you’d be glancing at them with a deadpanned look of annoyance.
You didnt have a dog.
“Would it be so hard just to answer a question? I swear I dont like you sometimes.” you mutter, flapping out the pair of pants you were about to fold and Toji’s smirk is as audidle as his snickering.
“But you love me all the time. Now stay focused. Soap. The kind you wash your ass with.”
You sigh in exasperation at the simple question. And it was for sure simple ,but as many times as Toji had been in your shower, sometimes with you, he should be able to know which damn soap you used.
Old ass..
“Dr.Bronner’s babe. Unscented..”
“The light blue one. See, I knew I remembered it.”
Toji snatches the largest bottle of pure castile soap from the shelves. His massive hand grasps it effortlessly as he made his way to another aisle, squinting at a display of electric shavers curiously.
“Well alright. Thats all I wanted. Carry on cheating or whatever you doing..”
You let out a loud breath, tossing the pair of pants aside.
“Why are you like this? That’s not funny, you know?”
“What?” Toji strolls leisurely down the shave aisle now, eyeing the array of products.
“You saying shit like that. Accusing me of cheating every time I don’t pick up or text back fast. Its irritating..” you huff, aggressively flapping out another pair of sweats that you immediately knew belonged to Toji.
“Is it?”
“Is it?” You mock him, balling up his oversized joggers scornfully and throwing them on the floor. God he was annoying. If he werent so fine, and tall, and big..
And fit.
And sexy.
And intimidating.
And..
What were we talking about?
A breathy chuckle vibrates against your ear, as well as the echoing *beep* of the cashiers growing louder, both yanking you off your tangent.
“Aww, mama. Don’t be like that. I only say it as a joke. I know you’d never cheat on me ‘cuz my dick’s too big.” Toji remarks all too casually, not even acknowledging the way an old man shoots him a disgustingly surprised look at his crudeness out loud as he walked past him.
You snort in amusement and shake your head.
“True. But don’t be so sure. Theres plenty of trees in the forest.” You remark cheekily, glad that you weren’t in front of him after saying that. Part of you wished you were though. Watching those pretty beady eyes of his shrink with his glare was equal parts scary and arousing. To your surprise, Toji finds your rebuttal funny enough to laugh.
“You must really want me to fold your ass like a futon, huh? Just wait, I’ll be by there later.”
Toji turns to get in line at a check out lane. A little girl standing with her mother behind him stares up at his back with wide eyes, probably never seeing a man of his size and stature. Ya boy was scraping at 6’3 barefoot, so in shoes he was surely around 6’4. Even you would find yourself gaping up at him when he stood in front of you.
“Yeah? What you gon do?
*beep*
Toji shuffles forward, the scarred corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk.
“Fold you like a futon. Duh. You want candy?” He quickly changes the subject distractedly, falling victim to the mini wall of chocolate bars and gum.
The threat makes your core flutter while his subtle way of always keeping you in mind had you biting down on your grin as you continued folding laundry.
“Nooo, Baby. I don’t want candy. Thank you though.” You giggle, rolling your eyes.
“Well dont ask for some of mine ‘cuz I aint sharing..” Toji grumbles, still picking up two candy bars.
“Mmhmm.”
Having folded the final article of clothing and setting it aside, you sink back into the couch cushions with a huff, lifting your hand to untuck your phone and hold it against your ear.
“So wait, thats why you were blowing me up? Over soap?”
“Basically. I wanted you to have your own for when you stay with me. I know you have sensitive skin and shit…” he responds before reciprocating the cashiers greeting as he set his items on the belt.
“Awwww DaddyBear, how considerate of you. I wanna kiss you now, instead of slapping your face”
“Youre too easy to impress woman. Its just soap. You leave shit at my apartment anyway so I figured you’d wanna have something to shower with too.”
“I know but it’s still sweet. Come over now so I kiss on you and touch your butt.”
Toji snorts at your antics, knowing damn well he wasn’t letting your hands go anywhere near his ass.
“Yeah yeah. I gotta swing by Shui’s to pick up some money then Im gonna head your way.”
“Ok. But wait, you still could have just texted me that. Why call and make a fuss?”
“Damn. Maybe I also just like hearing your whiny ass voice y’know?”
You sigh, your giddiness fading immediately.
“Just hurry up and come over, ass.”
“See? Can never take a joke.”
“Bye Toji.”
“See you later Big Booty..”
<call ended>
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Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 13
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?
Warnings: angst, tension
The morning sun spilled through the sheer curtains, my head was still heavy from last night, and my body feeling sheer exhaustion of what had happened. I had barely slept, replaying the scene at the restaurant over and over in my mind. The embarrassment, the sting of Matt’s words, the way I had to walk away while holding back tears.
A soft knock at my door made me wake that bit more. "Hey, you awake?" I hear Nick’s voice from through the door.
I remembered I locked it once Matt left last night so I pulled myself from my bed and unlocked the door letting Nick to come in. I turned and walked back to my bed, sitting up against the headboard, pulling the covers around me. Nick closed the door behind him before standing at the end of the bed. "Alright, spill. What the hell happened last night? You left, and then Matt stormed in looking like he just saw a ghost."
I exhaled, rubbing my temples before looking at him. "Your mom asked Nate if he was seeing anyone, and he said no, which was fine, right? But Matt decided to make it seem like that was some kind of rejection for me, like I was meant to be upset about it. Then, out of nowhere, he brings up to your mom and dad that Nate and I went on a ‘date’, which you know yourself wasn’t even a date, so then Nate tried to clarify that we were just friends, but Matt just kept pushing it. Then he said that I was a quick fuck and then friend zoned. Right in front of your parents." I swallowed, feeling the embarrassment all over again.
Nick’s eyes widened slightly, but his expression darkened. "What the fuck?"
I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah and I’m so embarrassed if your parents heard that last part because first of all, I had just met them, and second of all, it’s just not even true. It made me look bad, it made Nate uncomfortable, and Matt acted like he had some right to embarrass me like that."
Nick sighed, running a hand through his hair. "No I get why you’re upset like he was way out of line. But listen, when Chris and I came back in, our parents said you were lovely and that they hoped you felt better soon. I’m telling you they didn’t hear that part."
I let out a slow breath of relief. "Really?"
"Really" Nick nodded. "They just thought you weren’t feeling well and needed to leave early."
I sank back into my pillows, finally feeling like I could breathe a little easier. "Good. Because I swear, I was ready to dig a hole and disappear forever."
Nick laughed. "Nah, no disappearing allowed. But are you gonna talk to Matt about it?"
I frowned, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "We did last night kinda, but I’m still so angry. And the worst part is, I don’t even know why he acted like that. It was like he wanted to embarrass me."
Nick shrugged. "Matt’s an idiot. He says dumb shit, but he also knows when he’s messed up. I guarantee you, he feels like shit about it right now."
"Good" I muttered, still unwilling to entertain the idea of forgiving him just yet.
Nick sighed again but didn’t push it further. "Alright, well, the four of us are going out with my parents for the day. You coming?"
I shook my head. "I think I’m just gonna stay back here today, I just want things to die down."
"Thats cool." He stood up, stretching. "Try not to overthink it too much, alright?"
I gave a half smile. "Easier said than done."
As Nick left the room, I rolled onto my side, staring out the window at the pool below. I knew I wouldn’t be able to just brush this off, but at least, for now, I could breathe a little easier knowing that Nick’s parents didn’t hear Matt’s words. Still, the anger remained, simmering just beneath the surface. Eventually, I decided I needed some air, some sun, some quiet, and a break from all the tension.
I slipped out of bed and grabbed my swimsuit, opting for a tiny bikini that I knew would be perfect for lounging by the pool. The straps sat snug against my skin, the warm morning air already filtering through the open balcony doors as I pulled my hair up out of my face. After tossing on a loose cover up, I slid into my sliders and grabbed a towel before heading downstairs.
As I reached the foyer, the others were gathered, chatting and getting ready to head out for the day. The energy in the room was light, filled with laughter and the occasional clatter of sunglasses being thrown into bags. As soon as they spotted me, they greeted me, well everyone except Matt, who didn’t even glance in my direction.
Chris was the first to speak. “You coming with us?” His tone was casual, but his eyes scanned my face like he was checking in.
I shook my head, adjusting my towel over my arm. “Nah, I think I’m going to take it easy today. Just chill by the pool and relax.”
Nate nodded approvingly. “Honestly? Probably the smarter move.”
Chris shot me a small smile. “Enjoy the sun. We’ll be back later.”
I returned the smile, forcing the tension from last night out of my mind. “You guys have fun.”
With that, they all filed out the front door, their voices fading as they disappeared down the steps. The villa was suddenly silent, the only sound being the faint rustling of palm trees outside.
I exhaled slowly before grabbing an ice tea from the fridge and making my way out to the pool, letting the warm sun wrap around me as I laid my towel down on one of the lounge chairs. Finally, peace and quiet.
I stretched out on the lounge chair, letting the sun soak into my skin as I sipped on the cold drink. I had left the villa door open, wanting to hear when everyone got back, but after a while, another sound caught my attention.
A knock.
Frowning, I sat up, adjusting my bikini top before grabbing my cover up and slipping it over my hips. I wasn’t expecting anyone, and the guys wouldn’t have knocked, they had keys.
As I rushed barefoot across the cold tile floor, I hesitated for a second before pulling the door open.
A mailman stood there, holding a large box. He barely glanced up before handing it over. “Delivery for Fresh Love.”
I furrowed my brows but took the package, feeling the weight of it in my arms. “Oh, thanks.”
With a nod, he turned and walked back down the driveway. I shut the door with my foot and carried the box to the kitchen counter, setting it down with a small thud. I smirked, realizing this must be the personalized samples Chris had mentioned, the ones he ordered for all of us. I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture of the box before opening up my messages with Chris.
Me: Personalised samples just got delivered.
A few seconds later, the typing bubbles appeared.
Chris: Sick! You check ‘em out yet?
I glanced at the box, debating if I should wait for him or just open it now.
Me: Not yet. Was gonna let you do the honours.
Chris: Okay cool. We can do a shoot with them at sunset later.
I bring the box up to Chris’ room and set it on the bed so he can see everything when we get back in. If we’re doing a shoot I want to look extra radiant and glowy, and that won’t happen from standing inside the villa. I grabbed one of the body oils in my room before making my way back out to the pool. I poured a little into my palm, rubbing it over my legs as I stretched back out on the lounge chair.
Matt’s POV
We were halfway through the guided tour when Chris suddenly checked his phone and said, “Oh, the personalized samples came in. Y/n just texted me.”
Hearing her name wasn’t helpful. Not when I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind since last night, and god how she looked in that bikini earlier didn't help. I kept my eyes straight ahead, pretending I didn’t care, but my mom didn’t let it slide. “Oh, Y/n is such a lovely girl” she said with a warm smile, then turned to me. “Is she feeling better now, sweetheart?”
Before I could even begin to answer, Nick cut in smoothly. “Yeah, she’s fine. Just needed a bit of sleep.” His tone was light, brushing off the question like it wasn’t worth pressing. He knew me well enough to know that I didn’t want to talk about it, especially not here, not in front of everyone.
I kept my mouth shut and just nodded in agreement, though the truth was, I felt far from fine. Guilt sat heavy in my chest, chipping away at me. Last night, I had let my emotions get the best of me. I let jealousy, because let’s be honest, that’s exactly what it was, take control, and I lashed out in the worst way possible. I had said something cruel, something I couldn’t take back. And knowing Y/n, she wasn’t the type to just let it roll off her shoulders. She put up walls, and I had given her every reason to keep me on the other side of them.
The more I thought about it, the worse it got. I had no right to be mad at her, no right to act like what she did or didn’t do with Nate, or anyone else for that matter, was any of my business. But that hadn’t stopped me from taking a low blow, from making her feel small in front of people who barely even knew her. If she had done that to me, I’d be furious. So what did that say about me?
I exhaled, dragging a hand through my hair as I barely registered the tour guide’s voice. My mind was somewhere else entirely.
I had to make this right.
I knew I had a way to make it up to her, it was something I should've done ages ago. And now, I could only hope it wasn’t too late for her to forgive me.
Y/n’s POV
I was sitting outside on the patio, a plate of food in my lap as I watched the sun dip below the horizon. The sky was painted in soft shades of pink and orange, the kind of sunset that made everything feel a little quieter, a little more peaceful. It was one of those moments I wished I could freeze in time, just me, the sunset, and the distant sound of waves hitting onto the shore.
But then, the front door swung open, breaking the stillness.
The familiar sounds of shuffling feet and tired voices filled the villa as the guys returned. I set my plate aside and stood up, making my way inside to greet them.
“Hey” I said, leaning against the kitchen counter as they walked in.
They all looked exhausted, Chris, Nate, Matt, and Nick, their faces slightly sunburnt, their hair tousled from the slight breeze and even though they didn’t say much at first, their body language said it all.
Chris let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair as he took his cap off. “Long day,” he muttered. “We were out in the sun for way too long, and I think it’s catching up to everyone.”
Nate groaned in agreement, tossing his sunglasses onto the counter. “I need, like, ten hours of sleep.”
Matt didn’t say much, just nodded, his jaw tight. He looked at me for half a second before glancing away, like he was trying to avoid something, most likely me. I ignored the sting in my chest and forced a small smile.
“Yeah, we’re all wiped” Nick added, stretching his arms above his head. “Think we’ll just stay in tonight, order some takeout, crash early.”
“That’s fine with me” I said, realizing I was more drained than I thought. Between being in the sun all day and everything that happened last night, I could use a quiet night too. “I left that box in your room” I say turning to Chris.
“Cool I’ll have a look now, we can take pictures tomorrow evening instead, when everyones a bit more awake”
And with that, Chris, Nate, and Matt didn’t waste any time disappearing into their rooms, clearly eager to knock out for a bit.
Nick lingered behind, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m gonna shower first, but after that, I’ll come to your room? We can just chill for a bit, a movie maybe?.”
I nodded. “Sounds good.”
I walk up to my room, kicking the door shut behind me as I switch on the TV. The smart TV mounted on the wall was a lifesaver, especially on nights like this when there wasn’t much going on. I sink onto the bed, remote in hand, sifting through Netflix, too see if theres anything both Nick and I would like. The knock on the door wasn’t enough to pull my attention from the screen since I assume it’s Nick, I don’t even think twice before calling out, “Come in.”
But it’s not Nick.
It’s Matt.
He stands there in the doorway, looking uncertain, a silver metallic gift bag dangling from his fingers. Looking like the same one I spotted in his room next to my ‘Thank You’ card. For a moment, neither of us speak. We just stare at each other, the weight of unspoken words thick in the space between us.
My tone is blunt when I finally ask, “Are you alright?”
Matt doesn’t answer. Instead, he lifts the bag slightly, as if offering it to me. His expression is unreadable, something between nervousness and determination.
“What is it?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
“Just look in it” he says quietly.
I hesitate for a second before reaching out, taking the metallic bag from his grasp. Peeling back the layers of tissue paper inside, my breath catches in my throat.
It’s my locket.
The delicate chain pools in my palm, the pendant glinting from the sunset shining in my balcony window. My fingers tighten around it as I snap my gaze back up to Matt, my heart pounding.
“Where did you get this?” I demand, my voice barely above a whisper.
a/n : most of this is a bit of a filler soz
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Thiugh reddit definitely does deliver on interesting specimens as it usually does. even if it takes some digging
getting any kind of interest on a fashion related topic is actually so dire everybody else who talks about it is SO boring to me. like we are just never on the same page about it
#people are still so unpleasant though? even if its kind of entertaining to read old debates and what ever....#makeup especially feels like it attracts the nastiest most self centeted people on this wretched earth .#(finding this out just now because i wanted to look into tips#you would not believe how nasty these people get over finding foundation shades .#god forbid a bitch complain they dont have a good match theres gonna be a Brigade of people saying WELL I DONT HAVE A MATCH EITHER!#the complete inability to just Commiserate instead of makinf the whole thing about them .#actually experienced this live yesterday when i eas like yeah so i bought this chinese makeup and the woman was like#'Uhm they dont have my shade though :/' likeok thats not great i agree. a lot of brands have your shade though#asian makeup brands often are colorist as fuck yeah its a big deal over there.#but Like national and american brands mostly all have near exact matches for this woman come ON#you cant really cry that much about the beauty industry excluding you if you own TWENTY FOUNDATIONS#(and thats without mentioning how she should not own them#you cant say anything because theres always someone whos gonna pop up and say theyre more oppressed than you even if theyre very clearly not#i fhought this was just miss ladys issue but no reddit has people like that all over too 😭 god help em
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part 2 to jealousy, jealousy????? 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
jealousy, jealousy ii
axel kovacevic x larusso!reader
hey everyone!! sorry its taken me so long to get back on it but i'll be back in full swing again soon. sorry if this is kind of short, i just didn't want to hold onto this for much longer. i'm gonna be starting some personal projects (poetry, short films, videos, ect...) so i wanted to get this out before i am even more distracted. super excited for s6p3 to come out!!! okay thats it, enjoy!!
your heart was thumping against your chest with vigor. you could barely hear the announcer introduce everyone.
there was no place to hide as the arena lights beamed down on you, leaving you visible and vulnerable to the attack of glares being thrown your way. the entire miyagi do team was focused on you, especially sam and your dad. they couldn't believe you would do something like this and their vision was beginning to cloud with betrayal. you understood it and that's what made it harder. you would react the same.
and then they finally looked away from you. it only took you a second to realize their faces had turned towards another traitor. tory was representing cobra kai, standing next to kreese besides your team on the mat. you caught her gaze and you both looked at each other with the same confusion.
"but today is about enjoying our host city and making new friends. or enemies. we have a field trip arranged for our competitors and for our sensei's, a cocktail mixer with some of the world's finest martial arts brands. it's a beautiful day to make a first impression. and i suggest you enjoy it because tomorrow, your lives change forever."
the arena errupted in applause and you were locked in a staring competition with sam again. "come on, let's go change." axel tugged on the sleeve of your gi. you nodded and followed him out of the arena, sam still staring daggers through you.
"now everyone smile and say barcelona. 1, 2, 3..."
the chorus was weak. "barcelona" flash.
"one more"
"barcelona." it was a little stronger this time.
"you two in the back, perfect." the photographer pointed you and axel out when all you were doing was holding hands and smiling. axel wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer when he noticed everyone now paying the two of you attention.
"and one more... i guess not." tory walked away from the group before the photographer could take another shot.
"i'll be back." you spoke to axel, making your way to follow tory through the aquarium.
"y/n!" you heard miguel call after you. he was standing next to sam and once sam laid eyes on you, she turned around and walked in the other direction. you looked at tory's vanishing silhouette and then back and miguel before walking up to him. he didn't even give you a chance to speak. "what the hell are you doing here?"
"sekai tekai? karate world championship? ever heard of it?" you rolled your eyes, annoyed at the accusatory tone he was directing at you.
"you know what i mean." miguel was never good at hiding his frustration. his brow was all furrowed and his eyes weren't the soft puppy dog eyes you were used to. they were hard. of course you and miguel had little spats here and there in the dojo but he had never been genuinely upset with you. "how could you do this to us? to sam? to your dad?"
"miguel, i know you're just trying to have sam's back, but this is none of your business." you snapped and it took miguel by surprise. he had never seen you be this assertive before. you were both seeing new sides to each other's character. "sam's the favorite. everyone knows it, you know it. even anthony knows. they don't care about trophies and championships but i do. this is my one chance. i know you know what that feels like."
miguel nodded, now beginning to understand your point of view. "you should talk to them."
"they're not going to hear me." you gave miguel a half smile. "good luck, miguel. the team and my sister are going to need you." you caught back up with axel, letting him lead you through the aquarium.
you spent the rest of the afternoon with axel, trying to get that nagging voice out of your head that said miguel was right. you needed to talk to your family. you knew the karate drama would come quickly but you didn't want to deal with it just yet. you just wanted to be axel's girlfriend for a few more days.
the first challenges began later that night. in the first match it was miyagi do, cobra kai, furia de pantera, and iron dragons in the first group.
"we should attack miyagi do first. they're gonna protect the egg. it won't be that hard to pick them off one by one." you spoke into your huddled team members. everyone was looking to you and axel. axel was about to agree with you but sensei wolf rose a hand to stop you.
"the point of this challenge isn't to take down the most teams. the point is for my captains to stay untouchable. understood? the rest of you will protect them. stay in this corner. v formation. let them come to you." sensei wolf instructed and you all nodded, following his directions. you could always get behind a defensive strategy
the game began and tory immediately started attacking miyagi do as you had suggested to your own team. the mat was chaos. you and axel watched from behind your line of defenses. "how are you feeling?" axel spoke in a voice just low enough for you to hear.
"i think i'm fine." you spoke in return. "just trying not to think about it too much." your new teammates easily defended you and axel from the opposition. "i kinda like not having to do anything here though."
"it makes us look... cool." he replied and it made you crack a smile at his response. you were finally able to relax a bit. it didn't take that long for sam, robby, and the other teams captain to get taken out of the match by cobra kai. there was only 3 of them while your entire team was still standing. axel looked down at you and you nodded when you met his gaze. the four dragons that had protected you two dropped to a knee at sensei wolf's command and walked off the mat.
tory looked to her teammates. she had never seen you look this intimidating. you and axel were standing there in a junbi stance, not having even broken a sweat yet. two weapons of destruction kept safe for the final attack. she envied you for having axel at your side when she desperately wanted robby at hers. she furrowed her brows and put on her game face, bouncing on her toes as she rose her fists. "ais!" she yelled, trying to shake away her uncertainty and lunging towards you.
you easily dodged her first attack, quickly spinning around for a hook kick that she narrowly managed to dodge. meanwhile, axel had already dropped yoon to the floor and was now facing kwon. it wasn't hard to tell that tory was nervous. her energy was almost as intense as the last time you saw her. she was unable to stop bouncing around so much and she was telegraphing. you faked a punch, which she followed and opened up the opportunity for you to kick her across the face and down to the mat.
beside you, axel had also taken kwon down. "it's good to see you tory." you offered her a hand and she hesitantly took it, letting you help her stand up. "just remember to breathe, okay?" you offered her a smile and it looked like she wanted to say something but kwon and the other cobras dragged her away. you looked at axel and grinned, hugging him and he lifted you off the ground a little before you both left the mat. it felt good to be under your boyfriend's arm after winning a match.
your dad watched with a heavy heart. his little champion was doing it without him and she was succeeding. you didn't need him anymore. he wrapped an arm around sam's shoulders and walked with her out of the arena. daniel needed to make things right but he didn't know how. he didn't know if it was even possible to convince you to come back to miyagi do, considering how well you were competing away from him.
"are you okay dad?" sam asked, looking up at her father with concern.
"yeah, sweetheart. i'll be alright. we'll be alright." daniel spoke, trying to convince himself as well as sam that everything would be alright.
"what the hell are you doing?" sam approached you in the hallway leading to your room.
"getting ready for bed?" you responded in an obvious tone, not wanting to have this conversation right now. she approached you the same as miguel earlier, but you knew she wasn't actually looking to talk like he was. she just wanted to argue and get all her anger out.
"cut the crap." she stepped closer as if she was challenging you. "why would you do this to us? i mean, i get you're mad at me and dad but everyone else? are you really that selfish?" she crossed her arms and shook her head in disapproval. "and did you know that tory was coming? we all saw that little moment you had and if you did-."
you scoffed and cut her off. "do you hear yourself? this is why i didn't tell you i was joining axel's team. you take everything so personally. this was never about you. it's about me. you should know better than anyone that i have worked my entire life at this. this is my only opportunity and you and dad stole it from me. i did what i had to do." you defended yourself.
"so you're not even gonna apologize?" sam narrowed her eyes at you. "you let all of us down, you hurt dad, and you're not gonna apologize? we were counting on you."
you shook your head and a disbelieving smile crossed your face. of course, she would try to guilt you into apologizing. that was her move since childhood. you weren't going to let her use your dad against you. "and tory was counting on all of you. if you came here looking for an apology, then you're looking in the wrong place." you swiped your keycard and entered your room, closing the door and pressing your back against it, sliding down to sit on the floor.
you were finally alone but the noise in your mind was still loud. you began thinking about your father. the man who gave you life and all the skills you are now using in the biggest moment of your life. that same man who tried to take this opportunity from you. the same man that you betrayed. your dad wasn't even angry. you remember his expression as it has been seared into your mind. you couldn't believe that you could be the cause of so much pain and sadness. he's your dad and you turned your back on him. he wasn't his usual self, that always had a comeback. normally he would try to talk his way in but this time, your dad had nothing to say to you and it made your heart ache.
you tried to remember axel, who would be by your side no matter what.
during the next day of challenges, you excelled. not a single point had been landed against you. axel was doing just as great. a true power couple. you could feel sam's judgement from across the room. everytime you caught a glimpse of her,she would narrow her eyes and say something to miguel, or robby, or anyone that was around. it was beginning to annoy you that she insisted on being mad at you. all her focus was directed at you and while she wasn't being beat on the mat, most of her teammates were. you wanted to tell her that being captain also meant that she had to be there to support her teammates and lead them. you didn't though. you said nothing as you watched miyagi do's rank sink lower and lower and the iron dragons stay at the top.
miyagi do managed to stay in the tournament, just barely, so naturally they hit the bars in the beach district with the other teams who avoided elimination.
you arrived at the bar under axels arm once again. the both of you were really liking how close you were able to be now that you were on the same team. axel was loving being able to actually be your boyfriend. it was hard to be apart from you for so long. there was so many moments where he felt he needed your support and you couldn't be there because of the distance but now you were doing this together. you were fighting the same battles and protecting each other. he wasn't too fond of how his teammates and basically every guy looked at you but he understood. you were incredibly beautiful and skilled. he knew his jealousy was a reminder that you were amazing and everyone could see it. that didn't make it any less unbearable when guys glanced in your direction with that certain look in their eyes.
the pit in your stomach had finally managed to subside and you were swirling your drink around in its glass while you listened to your teammates talk. they were nice, less intimidating than when you had first met them. the other dojos at the bar looked at you guys with curiosity and hunger. you were the top dogs. everyone wanted a piece.
and then miyagi do walked in. it was more of a sad stumble into the bar as they all carried a grim air with them. you could understand them beating themselves up for their less than stellar performance, but even hawk wasn't standing as tall as he usually did. miguel was missing from sam's side and sam hadn't even bothered to glare in your direction when your eyes met. something was wrong. "i'll be back." you said to axel and he turned his attention to where yours was.
axel knew how much you cared about your family and friends and what they thought of you. "want me to come with?"
you shook your head. "maybe in a bit." you stood up, kissing axels lips briefly before walking over to the table all the miyagi do's gathered around. "hey..." you spoke with caution. they all stared at you with the same blank expression. "how's it going?" you didn't know what to say but you knew saying nothing was worse.
"how's it going?" sam scoffed and shook her head at you. instead of going off on you like she normally would, sam walked over to the bar and sat next to robby. you were tempted to follow but you knew it would take sam a little longer to have an actual conversation with you as opposed to yelling at you.
"so when were you gonna tell us you're dating ivan drago?" demitri asked, curiously looking behind you to where axel was watching you with intent. you glanced at him over your shoulder and smiled. his expression softened and he waved at you and your friends. they all timidly waved back.
"his name is axel kovacevic and i met him at a tournament about 2 years ago." you explained.
"so that's who you're always on the phone with?" devon asked, eyes now gleaming with the hope of an overseas romance of her own.
"yeah." you answered, blush creeping up your face. "i wanna say that i'm sorry guys. i wasn't trying to lie to you."
"were you always going to switch sides?" eli asked and you shook your head.
"no. i really wanted to be your guys captain but everything worked out the way it did and then axel offered it to me. i couldn't say no." you pursed your lips together. "you guys know this is my life right? only two of those trophies in the dojo belong to my dad. the rest are mine. this doesn't matter to them the way it does to me, it was my only option."
"hey, i get it." eli nodded, surprisingly understanding. "i've done what i had to do in the past. it's not easy. we'll try to talk to sam."
"you didn't know about tory though, right? because sam is convinced you did." demitri asked.
"of course not." you shook your head. "i would have told her its a bad move." you looked at tory across the room. "what's with everyone's doom and gloom? i mean i know you guys were kissing the mat all day but what's up? where's miguel?"
eli and demitri looked at each other. "miguel and johnny had to go home. there was a problem... with the baby." devon explained and your eyes widened.
"is his mom okay?" you were fond of miguel and his family. he was like another brother to you and his mom and yaya always treated you like one of their own. they didn't deserve this.
"unclear." demitri answered and you looked at both sam and robby at the bar, deflated versions of themselves. you decided to make your way over, sitting next to sam.
"i'm sorry." you spoke and before she could respond you continued. "miguel and his family are strong. they're gonna get through this. i'm just really sorry they left and the both of you had to stay. i know you two would want to be there to support them." robby glanced over at you and gave you a silent nod while sam let out a shaky breath followed by a sharp inhale. her eyes were glassy as she had been thinking about miguel and the baby all night.
"i can't do this right now." she stood up and walked away from the bar. robby watched her go.
"go ahead robby." you gave him a reassuring nod, letting him know it's okay to follow his best friend. he did just that, leaving you alone at the bar. axel had still been watching you from afar, anxious to be at your side again. before he could approach you, someone else swooped in.
"what are you doing talking to the losers of the day?" kwon jaesung took the seat besides you. you glanced over to where him and tory had been sitting but it was now empty. the cobras had gone.
"old friends." you looked him up and down, sizing him up. you saw how ruthless he was on the mat, no matter who his opponent was. you couldn't help but worry that he would try to use his strength against you.
"really?" he asked, leaning in closer. "from where?"
you took a deep breath, deciding how much you wanted to reveal. "childhood."
"interesting. so why're you not on their team?"
"do you always ask this many questions?" you asked, confused as to how he was approaching you. you couldn't tell if he was trying to be intimidating, flirty, or friendly.
"just trying to get to know the competition."
you narrowed your eyes at him. "hmm... how's tory?"
"you know her too? wow..." kwon smiled amusedly. he was just trying to rile axel up and throw him off his game but now he realized that he had the chance to mess with everyone by toying with you. of course he would take it. "she's not as good as she thinks she is."
"she's been killing it." you responded. besides the point you landed on her yesterday, not one point had been landed against her. tory was at the top of her game, no hesitation whatsoever.
"guess i don't like people who have everything handed to them." kwon answered back. "not even one day in the dojang and she's already captain. pshh... please."
"trust me, tory hasn't had it easy. it might seem like she just showed up and had it handed to her but she earned that captain spot." you were a tory defender through and through. you had even helped your mom find help for tory when the karate drama was at its peak. you knew she wasn't a bad person, just misunderstood.
"right..." kwon clicked his tongue and glanced you up and down subtly. "and what about you?"
"what about me?" you shrugged and watched him sip his drink.
"did you earn your spot?"
the question took you off guard. thankfully, axel had came to your rescue, arm wrapping around your shoulders. "kwon." his voice spoke the name of the competition in front of you. axel narrowed his eyes. kwon was too friendly, too calculating, too smug and too close to you for his liking.
"axel." kwon shot axel a look you couldn't read and began walking away. "nice meeting you, y/n. see you around."
you watched him go and axel took his seat. "what did he say to you?"
"nothing really. he's actually kind of interesting to talk to." you smiled at axel, turning to order the two of you more drinks.
"hmm..." axel trusted you. he knew you weren't the type to lead him on. axel never questioned your feelings for him because he knew it was real. he just didn't trust kwon in the slightest. he didn't like the way kwon looked at you, like you were a plaything for his amusement. kwon was arrogant and entitled and he only hoped he would be around for any attempt at an advance kwon tried on you so that he could put him in his place.
mornings were axel's favorite time of day. it meant that the slate was clean and that everything was ahead of him. his routine was the basis of his entire person. he started the morning with a run to clear away all the fog in his brain, followed it with sensei wolf's intense training regimen and ended it with a shower. he listened to a lot of music but he most often found himself listening to something classical, usually chopin. to be the most center and focused version of himself, he needed to silence any noise in his head and body.
he was just finished with his shower when he walked down to check on you. you told him you wanted to practice your kata before today's challenges. it was a pleasant surprise to hear your laugh as he made his way down the hall. "no, like this." you were instructing someone, probably a friend from home. cute. however, once he stepped inside the small mirrored room, his stomach dropped.
kwon was at your side, eyes raking over your frame in the tight athletic clothes you were sporting. no wonder he wasn't getting the kata forms right. axel cleared his throat, catching the both of your attention. "axel!" your face lit up and you waved at him. "i was just talking about you. you. you should show us your kanku dai kata. even i can't remember all those moves."
axel had been listening to you but was locked in a serious staring match with kwon. "maybe some other time." the noise was starting to come back. an intense, angry static that overlapped with the sounds of people talking and a high pitched ringing. looking into kwon's eyes, axel could see what his intentions were and he hated it. "let's go, y/n."
"okay, i'm almost done here, there's just a few more-"
"now." axel was speaking to you but his focus was still on kwon. you glanced at your boyfriend and then at kwon, offering an apologetic look to kwon as you grabbed your things and followed axel out. kwon was left in that room by himself feeling like he had already won. he got a kata lesson from a pretty girl first thing in the morning and he got into axel's head, on top of all the damage he had been doing to miyagi do. kwon hadn't even broken a sweat yet while all of you were beginning to feel the heat.
meanwhile, you were struggling to keep up with axel as he headed towards the elevators. "axel, your legs are way longer than mine. wait!" you called out after him and he stopped in front of the elevator, pressing the button. when the doors open, he grabbed your hand and almost yanked you inside.
"what were you doing with him?" axel asked when the doors closed, leaving the two of you alone in the elevator.
you pressed the button for your floor. "practicing kata forms? why?" you looked up at axel and he was out of his usual calm element. his hands were clenched at his sides and his jaw was set.
"i don't want you talking to him anymore." axel said firmly.
you were confused. "why's that?" kwon hadn't done anything wrong. he was blunt and cocky for sure, but he was just being friendly with you. he knew you were with axel and he acknowledged your relationship all the time. he even gave you pointers and showed you a few offensive moves.
"i just don't, okay?"
"axel, you need to give me a reason if you're going to tell me not to be friends with someone." you crossed your arms, mood now being dampered after your good morning.
"i don't like him." axel couldn't figure out how to tell you that he just knew what kwon was up to without any real proof. it was all in his eyes. "and i don't want to see you with him again, okay?"
"i don't get it, why don't you like him?" this was the first you were seeing axel's jealous side and it wasn't your favorite. he had nothing to worry about and should have known it. you didn't appreciate feeling like he couldn't trust you around other guys. before axel could answer, the elevator doors open. a little down the hallway, your dad was standing in front of your room. "great." you sighed and stepped out of the elevator, pressing the button to shut the doors before he could say anything else.
"sweetheart." your dad walked towards you, engulfing you in a big hug.
"dad." you whispered into his chest. "are you okay?" you could tell something was wrong.
"no. can we go inside?"
"yeah, yeah." you opened your door quickly and you two stepped into your room. "what's going on?"
"i need you to leave the iron dragons. now." daniel sat at the edge of your bed and let out a sigh. he had just found out that terry silver was behind the iron dragons and he couldn't live with himself if you got hurt because of it. you rolled your eyes.
"that's what's wrong?" you asked. between axel telling you not to be friends with kwon and your dad telling you to leave the team and sam being mad at you, you were threatening to explode.
"yes. you don't understand. there are-"
"no." you stopped him. "you don't understand dad. i have wanted this for my whole life and you were just going to take it from me. you didn't even give tory a chance. you're so concerned with doing things the right way and honoring mr. miyagi but i know mr. miyagi would have wanted me to take this opportunity. he would have wanted me to be here."
"you don't know what you're talking about." with all daniel was learning about mr. miyagi, he didn't even know what his late sensei would think of the situation they were in.
"i'm not leaving the iron dragons. i can't keep waiting around and being passed up for every opportunity when i can go out and take it for myself. i can't keep going in circles dad. i'm never going to grow that way." the silence weighed heavy between the two of you. "i'll see you in the arena dad." you walked over to the door and opened it. your dad left. you shut the door and went into the shower, attempting to wash off the morning you just had.
at the arena, you found yourself alone in a practice room. there, you tried practicing the kanku dai kata that axel had shown you. it was a total of 65 moves and you only ever managed to remember it when he was doing it with you. you got about halfway in before you saw a reflection in the mirror that made you whip around.
"kanku dai?" kwon asked from the doorway.
"yeah." you responded, now rocking awkwardly on your heels. you didn't know how you should act, considering how axel felt.
"sorry if i caused trouble with axel." kwon said from his spot across the room.
you shrugged your shoulders. "jealousy. i get it. i'm not crazy about him training with zara all the time."
"ah yes, the queen of karate." kwon recognized the name. "surprised she hasn't tried to take axel from you."
"what do you mean?" you asked, grabbing your water bottle and straightening your gi out.
"she has a reputation." kwon said and noticed your expression falter. "i'm sure it's not like that though. axel would be stupid to let a girl like you go."
you smiled a little at the compliment and took a sip of your water. "are you serious?" sam's voice came from the doorway, next to kwon. she was walking with robby and miguel towards the locker rooms. you just couldn't catch a break.
"sam." you could only watch them go. "i should get going too. i'll see you out there."
"see you." kwon bid you goodbye, smirking to himself as he leaned against the wall. the fun was just beginning.
#axel kovacevic#axel cobra kai#cobra kai season 6#axel kovacevic x reader#cobra kai season 6 part 2#cobra kai x reader
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Stray thoughts from an unhinged mind caused by a song called Robin
Since my teens, I have always been a Karlie Kloss fan. No amount of vitriol from the Swifty’s has ever strayed or strained my conviction that Karlie is on many levels, and aside from being absolutely gorgeous, a better human being than Taylor Swift.
By that I mean she seems to project a warmth and a level of kindness and humanity out into the world that is so pure and honest, when compared to Taylors, sometimes vengeful and darker persona ~as well as her being Queen Mother to one of the worlds most vindictive and exhausting cults who would gladly fillet anyone at “Mother’s “ request. Taylor (the brand) has made a career and a fortune from feeding her tales of romantic misfortune and presumed ex lovers to her hungry mob with merchandise to match.
Karlie on the other hand has a nurturing and supportive side to her and don’t let her beautiful and seductive exterior fool you for below that sultry surface she gives off a warm and fuzzy golden vibe- like a puppy. She’s sophisticated, highly intelligent, NYC chic and street smart , often silly and maturing like fine wine while somehow becoming more beautiful as she ages. She also appears to be one Hell of a good mother to those babies.
All that being said about their personalities is exactly why I believe Karlie’s sunshine is the perfect match for Taylor and her moody, broken, impulsive ,often over indulgent, midnight rain personality. Not only are they equal in status - they have a Yin Yang balance to them - Only that sunshine can dry up the rain in Taylor .
I’ll continue.
While listening to songs off of the TTPD I was stopped dead in my tracks when I came to the song, Robin. I listened three times and found a tear rolling down my right cheek. I was choked up and the tiny hairs on my arms stood up . To say I was moved would be an understatement. There was something so raw, so pure and so loving in those lyrics. I had to sit with my thoughts for a while but I feel the need to share them now among those who i consider “my people”.
The Kaylors.
Sidebar confession: Yes, I’m a Kaylor.
I firmly believe Taylor Swift, and Karlie Kloss had a long running romantic relationship. They were more than friends. They were lovers too. The level of denial it takes to doubt that is astonishing. It wasn’t just Kissgate that sealed the deal. It’s the way those two looked at each other and communicated in a secret language all their own. They were deeply in love.
I believe it all started prior to the public meet up at the VS Fashion Show and even long before the “your kitchen or mine cookie “tweet.
I believe Taylor and Karlie first met when Taylor was showing up at fashion shows that Karlie was walking in as far back as 2009. Where they had a relationship then? Probably not because they were both involved with others but the sparks were flying. Thats when the foundation was laid. The attraction was there. The seeds planted. Destiny and the Universe did the rest.
Think Love Story lyrics
“We were both young when I first saw you” which I believe Taylor wrote about Karlie and which also happens to be Karlies favorite song. I believe they had an ongoing relationship that continued on until late 2017-early 2018 and then I believe something happened and they broke up, as many long-term relationships often do. My guts tell me it was cheating and it was on Taylor’s part and the regret from that will haunt Taylor for her entire life because it caused the trajectory of their path to change.
Karlie married in 2018 yet many speculate they were still together and the unofficial story is the real trouble actually came in mid 2019.
Taylor was furious over the masters, fingers were pointing everywhere, cheating rumors flew. This entire story certainly has all the drama of a Netflix series that could easily do 8 seasons
There’s so much more to this Masters incident than the public is aware of. Also the fact that Josh’s families company ~ the Carlisle Group provided the funding to Scooter is an often overlooked storyline.
Was Taylor angry at Karlie for that but how could Karlie control that if she was even in that loop of that drama. Or~ was there more -because in any good mystery - there’s always several layers more .
What did Scooter have to leverage getting that kind of money from them to buy the masters? Being Karlie’s manager at the time perhaps he has something on her or Taylor or both of them and used it as that leverage . It’s a whole other rabbit hole that I don’t have time to visit right now but regardless Taylor is still angry about to this very day which tells me it goes way deeper and my gut feeling is that Taylor’s dad was the one involved with knowing things and not Karlie Kloss who got fed to the sharks over the situation.
So I’m going on record here saying I never believed Karlie had anything to do with Masters Heist. I believe that story was used as an explanation to explain their separation. I know there’s a whole other level of messy lore involving this and a love blackout and Trumps election and Karlie’s association with the Kushner’s but I’m going to skip over that season and move on -except to say that it was absolutely shameful the level of hate Karlie was forced to endure because of that and still her sun shinned while she was being made the villain online and much of it still continues to this day. At any point during that scandal Karlie could have spoken out but she didn’t. She quietly took one for the team.
I’m not going to pretend that I know what happened during that murky period or what is happening now - because honestly -I do not…but there have been a strange set clues and way too many “koincidences to simply chalk up to being coincidences.
It’s just a gut feeling but I also don’t believe their connection went fully went away or ever will for that matter. They are and will forever be tied together even in the times they are apart but I kinda think they reunited ( again) in early to mid 2020.
I’ve read all the theories. I’ve heard all the rumors ,I’ve been to the rabbit hole, I’ve climbed out, I’ve fallen back in, and most days now you’ll find me sitting on the edge dangling my feet still and kinda wondering. I live my life ~ they live theirs.
So am I a LSK?
No, not really, but some days …ok, maybe. You see for as much as I try to say no…there’s just this tiny string I can’t help but see so I keep my feet planted on the ground but my mind open.
By open I mean open to the possibility that Taylor and Karlie are in one of those kind of “relationships” where as hard as they try ~they just can’t seem to quit each other and they go through periods of on and off times. “pauses” is what I like to call the brakes or bumps along the way. You know that couple that’s over but they’re never really over ?
Where are they now? I have no idea.
Taylor has another year of touring and promoting and probably Travis. My money says Taylor Swift will be the halftime show at next years Super Bowl.
Karlie, along with her modeling contacts ( Carolina Herrera, Estée Lauder, Donna Karen etc ) is venturing into the business world. Along with running Kode with Klossy, she’s CEO of her newly formed media company. She bought I-D magazine and also Life magazine, which Josh also invested in , this year. She’s got a lot on her plate
Yes, Karlie is married but is she really married in the traditional sense of what we all consider marriage to be? On the surface, yes… but once again- the layers and the lore here is incredible.
What a character she’d be on that Netflix show I imagine in my head . Just give her an Emmy already.
Does she love Josh? I’m absolutely sure she does- but the real question is…is she IN love with Josh? You know- romantic love -which, I as an observer ~don’t believe she is or ever has been. You can just kinda tell and no matter how many pictures she posts the connection just isn’t there and whenever I see her with her beautiful babies (even if he’s in the photo) she gives off that “ single mother vibe “
That level of chemistry, no matter how the pictures are posed~ or the hand in hand walks are staged -the passion ~ the look in their eyes - it just isn’t there and honestly it never was.
They have always given off that bff energy and frankly ~ Karlie’s friendship with her “big brother “ Derek actually feels more real, relaxed and genuine.Then there are the gay rumors ( past and present) surrounding their entire little multiverse ~but we won’t go into them right now either. We’d be here all night.
And yes, Taylor has had her share of public relationships but have they been real? Have they had their moments? probably. Did some become more than PR for a brief period of time. Possibly She’s been linked to everyone she even walks by or talks to but somehow it all pales and fades in time. I’m sure there have been flings along the way but flings don’t fly and usually run their course in that 9 1/2 week period that flings seem to take.
If I’m being honest, as I observe from the treetops all of Taylor’s relationships and Karlies relationship with Josh, they never reach the level of the real connection and happiness that I saw between Taylor and Karlie. That’s something you just can’t fake or reproduce with another .
Whatever is going on with Travis is so cringey and sadly embarrassing.I tend to think it’s PR but if it’s real then he truly is her obnoxious karma and karma isn’t usually a good thing. But hey the moneys good. Maybe they’ll even get lavender married so she can stay in her closet and continue to throw red meat to the $wifties.
The future is yet unwritten.
All that being said, I’ll get back to my original point of this ramble and that’s a song called Robin.
So yes, I’ve heard the rumors, I’ve read the theories, I’ve seen photographs of visual evidence. Karlie Kloss was in Los Angeles during the pandemic, the same place where Taylor was in fort part of 2020. When she returned to NYC if you count the months - she was pregnant even if she didn’t look it. I also believe Karlie was there in the shadows during the Long Pond Studio recordings in Upstate NY. Jack kind of gave it away when he referenced “Joe the dog” as being who he thought Taylor was talking about when she said “ Joe and I wrote a song”
I’ve also heard the rumor that there was a ceremony between them that they tried to pass off as a ceremony between Taylor and Joe which Tree later denied that there was ever a ceremony of “any type”.
Ok buckle up because here it comes
I’ve seen the “turkey baster”( IVF ) post that Karlie made. Like who uses a turkey baster in May? What an odd thing to do unless you were signaling an IVF pregnancy situation. Regardless ~ she was extremely happy that day.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c0dd0b6d5a8aca85110b873ac6c22e9a/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-4b/s540x810/722efcc5eeed02a3551ed450e673a96a7f1ed9d8.jpg)
I’ve seen the cinnamon buns post ( think the expression “buns in the oven ) that Taylor made a few days later back in May 2020. She was “proud” of her cinnamon buns.
Happy & proud …hum
Is that a crazy set of coincidences? Hand on whatever holy book you set before me ~ I’d have to say “yes”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4eb9d419ed3f483440e77929149b8eb4/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-ab/s640x960/c92ea44ef39d53c7ab90e53096c9173e0ed3237f.jpg)
And it’s Absolutely crazy considering the fact that Levi was born a little over nine months later.
Add in the fact of how emotional Taylor got accepting her Grammy for Folklore when Arron thanked his “ wife and kids “during the acceptance speech.
For a few moments there you could feel the raw emotion in her as she nearly burst into tears andJack tried to console her. Blonde was gutted. It cut deep.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/55ff10ae37aec45098d478e1d30fd6d3/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-73/s540x810/8d2532e9fd60c2e6f9af9cf929409d668dcbf452.jpg)
Sidebar:
Yes Aaron has a son named Robin but he’s 9 years old and other than the name cleverly used for gentle cover of the truth in case damage control is ever needed~ there is no connection to that child or a secret, no showmanship to cover it up or anything that would make Taylor react as she did. Other than his name there is no connection to the words in the song
But the fact that Levi’s birth was announced during the Grammys absolutely does connect.
So I’ll just put a pin in that and move on.
Listening to that ballad yesterday rocked my entire world . It was so soft, gentle and living. So heart wrenching that I just let my emotions flow through me as my mind wandered back gathering and processing all the previous rumors and lore I had heard along the way. It left me rattled as it tumbled through memories. Could it all have been true?
So now I’m just gonna say it out loud running the risk of being attacked and also sounding like a supermarket tabloid…here goes “could Levi be Karlie’s and Taylor’s child?”
I know it sounds crazy…secret love child but …
I’m not trying to out anyone and I want to respect the fact that a child is involved here. Honestly I had second and third thoughts about posting this but if I’m being real ~ it’s also a collective of things that have been shared openly about Taylor and Karlie here for years. Somehow the song was like a puzzle piece that snapped into place.
…those loving words ,the emotion in Taylor‘s voice as she sings about her strong heartfelt attachment to a young toddler, as she encourages him in being wild and free in his wonder years, playing with abandon and roaring at the dinosaurs~
There was real love in those words
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a7727ec517728aa6417da337082eab80/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-d7/s640x960/f6bd51e65a870b26ec287deb4dfa31d4013280ad.jpg)
.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/71acf6d6fd29a5b390f41e6a84efda5a/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-92/s540x810/fd1beb22cda18b2fa8e8a634ada2324fbb359719.jpg)
.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2e144d1302463c2fd82bd020fbcae895/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-12/s540x810/1bae3832f126cef24c40651d12962fab06837b03.jpg)
Looking out his window over his kingdom (NYC) and speaking gibberish
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/73a8ca82a556b2b4728e2cc20d804f2f/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-70/s540x810/5b63ae530056919afa8d5a10b7316b2d084b0fad.jpg)
She also advocates for him keeping his innocence for as long as possible and then speaks of a secret that a inner circle of people have chosen to keep from him” in sweetness” to protect him and the “showmanship” to cover up that secret that he has no idea of.
And as she watches his unabashed play in his toddler purity she prophesies there will come a time in the future when the world he faces will have harsh words for him and she reminds him that he will bounce back like he now does on his trampoline.
“ and you have no idea
Buried down deep and out of your reach
the secret we all vowed
to keep it from you in sweetness
strings tied to levers
slowed down clocks tethers
all the showman ship
to keep it from you in sweetness
way to go, tiger
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f17c93f2b3d359dd5694d5cb7a7f29ad/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-7d/s540x810/acf407f887fad4493be849f2aa7b9cefabfee156.jpg)
I’m not crying , you are and Levi looks just like his mommy 🤍
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8c79878b682be0b6185b54c28c1ac93e/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-d5/s540x810/496d26efee464bd94069c064c9832c8267d0e4d0.jpg)
.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4b8737b63aecab2a705e8610d9aeece7/9c2c8ba89a6e62da-da/s640x960/35a4630734ce42612c2ed604beccc561c6f6fec9.jpg)
Let’s keep this in the family ✌️🤍🏳️🌈
God I love this show .
Stay tuned for next season
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tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut
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i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG
YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME
it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU
like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,
like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.
STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.
like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.
ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot
ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK
and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"
DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh
AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay
it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???
he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...
lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???
and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL
the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT
the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!
some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:
i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional
i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.
see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)
and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.
the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.
yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.
and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.
suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.
the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because
something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.
something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)
and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....
if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {
kyle_betrayal(alicia);
}
this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time
and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE
theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME
apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF
WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB
I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish
the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!
javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH
AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK
ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL
this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.
and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!
anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean
SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep
thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji
#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#lynn misc#lynn yaps#i really really hope people understood all that coding stuff i spewed in the middle of this HAHA#IF NOT PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK. I LOVE YAPPING ABOUT STUFF I KNOW!!!#i didnt think id yap abt it that much but well. here we are#i was close to if not completely sobbing when i read this ep and i am extremely scared of whats next#itll be okay though right? no more anguish after this? right? <- trying so hard to cope
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Six Feet Under the Sea
I love how ridiculous this episode starts off as and then somehow circles back to an actual federal crime. They kind of stumble across it, but i like to think it’s karma for taking the sea lion murder seriously, like a 2 for 1.
This funeral must have smelled like a thousand fish farts
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/44ee0f3040d5652f699b3bfc8bd6a4c1/e94d3118c1c3ac0a-c5/s540x810/2aefa492eb6d42c6bb89768df2a26868c0fd13a6.jpg)
Burglary ring at gentlemans finishing school. Well, hello pre-determined reference ;)
Shawn says he doesn’t like funerals because people are sad but i think it just makes him uncomfortable when people are sad and he can’t do anything about it. I think it has more to do with his loss of control- but I’m no therapist.
This is just a shot i found interesting. Its like a 90’s zoom or something idk
She would actually be a great love interest for gus. For one, she is very passionate about her subject, much like how he gets, but shes also a risk taker so she’d push him out of his comfort zone like shawn does. She also said she likes how weird shawn is, but gus is too! And if he stopped trying to impress her by being someone hes not, she’d see that. Plus, she became fast friends with juliet which is a win (though their little interaction barely passes the bechdel test).
Gus, just no, don’t do that. My boy does this a lot, though. He comes on too strong, it’s off putting. Hes just so passionate about this too i guess :)
This really is the coolest office ever
Aquariums make me sad btw. Like those poor dolphins are used to swimming thousands of miles! Now they’re in a little enclosure 😭
Shawn and gus’ real enemy is security guards
Chief vick is phil collins biggest fan
Went on a bit of a deep dive to try to figure out the rocinante reference, and while i understand its the name of don quixote’s horse, i don’t get the reference gus and shawn make about it reminding them of a full body syrah (i assumed it was in reference to a wine brand) or a gay couple from lisbon (which is just unclear to me. Though, some believe don quixote to be a “good metaphor for queer identity” but i doubt thats what shawns referencing haha)
This is really james driving btw :)
Shawn must be real suave this season. This is his like 4th romantic interest? I never paid attention to it before, but this is a pretty big part of this season. Also does the end scene make her the original shules shipper???
P.S I LOVE THESE OWLS.
But why are they sharing this look??? Did their child do something endearing yet predictably wrong in their 90’s sitcom?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/10910aa734d5736a00fde8d770fe75d0/e94d3118c1c3ac0a-39/s540x810/3b77a2c9c526165cfb8ce8ae742caea9985dc571.jpg)
#psych#psych rewatch#psych tv#shawn spencer#burton guster#shawn and gus#james roday rodriguez#james roday#dulé hill#dule hill
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Breaking and Entering | Bruce Wayne(Batman) Xgn!reader pt II
TW: Character Death (Jason Todd), Grief, and eventual age-gap relationship (Bruce is mid-late 40s, reader is 17, soon to be 18)
Rating: Gender Nonspecific, General Audience, SFW
A/N:
Thank you so much for all the love on pt I, I’m so happy to get back into the swing of things.
as always,
with love and healing,
-Lark(ly)
⊹₊⟡⋆ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⊹₊⟡⋆
“I thought you weren’t going to show,” Y/N said as their footsteps crunched softly against the fall leaves. Still in their school uniform, they carried a backpack lazily slung over one shoulder. Jason Todd’s jacket hung loosely around them, its weight a small comfort against Gotham’s persistent gloom.
Bruce’s blue eyes flicked up from where he stood, his gaze sweeping over them. His tall, broad frame dwarfed theirs as he finally spoke. “I told you I’d come.”
“You said you’d consider it. Thats usually code for ‘go fuck yourself’ but in a polite way” they quipped, a playful edge in their voice as they leaned closer to him.
Bruce rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance, and gently nudged them away. “In my case, it means ‘I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep and stretch myself too thin,’” he countered, his tone firm but with a subtle warmth.
Y/N’s eyes drifted to the lilac-colored box in Bruce’s hands, wrapped carefully with a white bow on top. “What’s with the box?” they asked, curiosity piqued.
Bruce handed it to them with a slight nod. “You were right. Titus completely demolished your shoes.”
“Seriously?” They raised an eyebrow, half-amused.
“Mmhm. And Alfred’s rose bush,” Bruce added, rubbing his temples as if the memory itself was a headache.
“Oh… no, that one was definitely me,” Y/N admitted, a bit sheepish.
Bruce looked at them incredulously. “You flattened Alfred’s roses?”
“I, uh, fell off the fence,” they mumbled.
“You climbed my fence?” Bruce’s tone shifted slightly, the disbelief clear in his voice.
“How else do you think I got in? I certainly didn’t just waltz through the front gate,” they said with a small grin, carefully peeling back the paper to reveal a New Balance box. “You got me... dad shoes?”
Bruce’s expression remained neutral, but there was a slight arch to his brow. “Dad shoes?”
“Yeah, you know, the stereotypical dad shoes. The kind you’d wear golfing.”
“I don’t golf in sneakers,” Bruce replied, his tone matter-of-fact.
“People do,” they quipped, opening the box to get a better look at the shoes.
“These have excellent arch support,” Bruce pointed out, his voice firm but with an undertone of practicality.
Y/N glanced up at him, a hint of disbelief in their eyes. “Titus ate my Converse, and instead of just replacing them with another pair, you got me... these?”
“They’re durable and better for your knees,” Bruce said, his gaze steady, as if daring them to argue with his logic.
They paused, holding one of the shoes, with a smile. “So, you care about my knee health?”
Bruce met their gaze, his expression unreadable, but his tone was calm. “You’ll thank me when you’re older.”
“I’ll thank you now,” they say with a smile, holding up the shoes. “I think these are pretty neat, even if they’re a little… dated.”
“Dated?” Bruce scoffs, his tone slightly indignant. “They’re the top brand on the S&P.”*
“They’re kinda retro, Wayne.”
“Retro?” Bruce repeats, narrowing his eyes. “How old do you think I am?”
“...When’s your birthday?”
“I’m not disclosing that,” Bruce replies, his tone firm.
“Why not?” they press, amused by his sudden defensiveness.
“Because I don’t do birthdays. And I have a feeling you’d try to surprise me at the office, and I’d rather avoid the attention.”
“You flatter yourself,” they tease, sitting down to try on the shoes.
“You mentioned your birthday is coming up,” Bruce says, slipping the comment in with calculated nonchalance.
“My birthday? You want to know mine but won’t share yours?” they challenge, eyebrows raised.
“Just making conversation,” he replies smoothly, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.
“Uh-huh. Well, can we pick a different topic?” they shift their tone, tugging at the laces. “I haven’t celebrated in four years, and I’m not about to start now.”
Bruce pauses, his smirk fading as he meets their gaze. “Fair enough,” he says, the respect in his voice mingling with a hint of understanding. “But if you change your mind, I’m here.”
“You want to celebrate my 18th birthday with me?” they ask, glancing up at him as they tie the right shoe.
“Turning 18 is a milestone,” Bruce states with quiet authority. “Jason never got that chance.”
They shoot him a sharp look. “You’re really going to bring up my best friend—right in front of his grave—to guilt me into celebrating?” There hand gestures at the imposing concrete headstone, as its eye -to-eye with them.
Bruce’s gaze remains steady, unfazed. “It’s not guilt, Y/N. It’s perspective. Life is fragile, and not everyone gets to see their milestones.”
“Mine are limited, and so are yours,” they fire back, a hint of defiance in their tone.
“That’s exactly why they matter,” Bruce responds, his voice calm but firm, emphasizing each word as if it were a lesson.
“Oh yeah? Then why are you so evasive about your birthday, hm?” Y/N asked, their curiosity piqued.
Bruce’s expression remained inscrutable, though a flicker of annoyance flashed in his eyes. “It’s not evasiveness,” he said firmly. “I just don’t see the point in making a fuss over my birthday.”
“That’s a double standard,” Y/N countered, a hint of exasperation in their voice. “For someone so keen on celebrating life, you’re reluctant to acknowledge your own significance.”
“It’s different, Y/N,” Bruce replied, his tone carrying a hint of finality.
“It’s not different,” they shot back, shaking their head. “It’s a matter of acknowledging what’s important. If I’m going to celebrate my milestones, then you should too.”
Bruce sighed, his frustration evident. “Tell you what,” he said reluctantly, “we’ll celebrate yours when it comes around.”
“And?” Y/N prompted, expecting a bit more.
“That’s it,” Bruce said firmly, as if he’d made a decision that should settle the matter.
“That’s not it,” Y/N laughed, a playful glint in their eye. “If I celebrate mine, you’re going to have to celebrate yours.”
“You’re a pain—almost worse than my kids,” Bruce muttered, though there was a trace of affection in his voice.
“They like to celebrate?” Y/N asked, intrigued.
“Dick does,” Bruce admitted. “But no, I meant your stubbornness.”
“Thank you!” Y/N grinned, clearly pleased.
“That’s not a compliment,” Bruce hummed, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, betraying the partial admiration he felt for their persistence.
Y/N finished tying the other shoe and looked down with a playful frown. “I look like I have clown feet,” they complained.
Bruce regarded them with a mix of amusement and practicality. “It’s not about the appearance; it’s about the support,” he said, offering his hand.
Taking his hand, Y/N let him pull them up. Standing a bit taller now with the shoes, they grinned up at him. “So, you got these so I’d be in line with your neck vein?” they teased.
Bruce’s lips twitched slightly, betraying a hint of amusement. “Haha, Very funny, Y/N. I got these because you were headed towards flatfoot. Converse aren’t exactly known for their support.”
“Converse are not terrible shoes,” Y/N countered, still playfully defensive.
“Says who?” Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow.
“2014 Tumblr,” Y/N replied with a smirk.
Bruce looked puzzled. “I don’t even know what that is, nor do I want to,” he said with a hint of dismissive amusement. “You know you might actually appreciate the comfort once you’ve broken them in.”
“I do appreciate them. I just like giving you a hard time,” Y/N hummed with a playful smile.
Bruce huffed dryly, a trace of amusement flickering in his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure you do, kid.”
Y/N bent down to collect the New Balance box and the wrapping paper, carefully shoving it into the large pocket of their bag. As they straightened up, a thought crossed their mind. “You took off work for this?” they asked, a hint of surprise in their voice.
Bruce crossed his arms, his expression neutral but his tone a little more serious. “I can make time when it matters.”
Y/N’s expression softens, and they gently grab Bruce’s hand as they both gaze down at the name etched in stone. “It means a lot,” they say quietly, their voice barely above a whisper.
Bruce’s grip tightens slightly, his thumb brushing over the back of their hand. “I know,” he replies, his tone even, though the weight behind his words is unmistakable.
They stand together in silence, the world around them muted by the gravity of their grief. Y/N’s voice trembles as they speak again, “He was my friend.”
“He is,” Bruce responds without hesitation, his eyes still fixed on the grave, the words carrying a quiet, unwavering conviction.
Y/N’s voice falters, thick with emotion. “He was your son.”
Bruce’s expression doesn’t waver, but there’s a slight softening in his eyes. “He always will be,” he says, his voice steady, as if stating an unchangeable fact.
Tears well up in Y/N’s eyes, and they blink rapidly, trying to hold them back. “I miss him,” they admit, their voice breaking.
Bruce pulls them into his side, wrapping an arm around their shoulders with a strength that’s both protective and comforting. “I know,” he says, his voice low, the words carrying the weight of shared sorrow. “I miss him too.”
Y/N leans into him, their tears starting to fall as the grief they’ve been holding back overwhelms them. “It never goes away,” they sob, their words muffled against his chest.
Bruce tightens his hold on them, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles against their back. “No, it doesn’t,” he agrees, his voice calm and measured, though there’s a depth of feeling beneath it that only someone who knows him well would recognize. “But we learn to live with it.”
They stand there for a long moment, Bruce’s presence solid and unwavering, offering them the quiet strength they need. In the silence, there’s a sense of understanding—an unspoken bond.
₊‧⁺ ⊹₊⟡⋆
Damian Wayne prided himself on his situational awareness and keen observation. Lately, his father had been behaving differently—disappearing for hours on Fridays, far more secretive than usual. Damian couldn’t ignore the shift and was determined to get to the bottom of it.
“Why are we following Bruce around again?” Tim asked, trailing beside Damian and Dick.
“Yeah, I thought you called me for backup over an emergency, Damian,” Dick added, crossing his arms as he followed his younger brothers.
“It *is* an emergency!” Damian hissed, his tone sharp. “Father’s acting weird. And I intend to get to the bottom of it.”
“Weird how? Bruce has always been suspicious and dodgy,” Tim pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Damian.
“It’s different this time!” Damian insisted, his frustration evident.
“Okay, little man, no need to get testy.” Dick ruffled Damian’s hair, a habitual gesture that never failed to annoy him.
“Don’t do that, Grayson,” Damian snapped, swatting Dick’s hand away. There was a significant age gap between them, and Damian always felt the need to assert himself as more than just the youngest.
“Shut up, shut up! They’re right there!” Damian whispered urgently, ducking behind a nearby tombstone.
“Oh hey—Is that Y/N?” Tim asked, squinting at the figures standing in the cemetery. One was unmistakably their father, and the other, a teenager who was familiar to him.
“When you said emergency, I wasn’t expecting lukewarm gossip, Damian,” Dick hummed, leaning casually against the fence, though his eyes betrayed a more serious curiosity.
���Who the hell is Y/N, and why is Father hanging out with them?” Damian growled, narrowing his eyes at the sight.
“I just told you, Y/N Y/L/N, they attend GA with us, they’re two grades above me,” Tim explained, though he knew it wouldn’t satisfy Damian’s questions.
“That doesn’t answer the ‘why,’ Drake,” Damian snapped, his frustration bubbling over.
“Oh wait, whoa whoa—Y/N Y/L/N? Jay’s friend?” Dick’s expression shifted as realization dawned on him.
“Well, that would explain the atmosphere,” Tim said quietly, gesturing to the graveyard.
Damian frowned. He had never met Jason Todd, and the family tragedy surrounding him was something he still struggled to fully grasp. “So?”
“So, the anniversary of his death is coming up,” Dick said, his tone more somber. “They’re probably in mourning.”
Damian’s expression faltered, his usual bravado dimming slightly. The weight of what Dick said hung heavily in the air.
Tim stood silently for a moment, then, without a word, started walking through the fence to join Bruce and Y/N. Dick, catching Tim’s intent, followed, but paused when Damian grabbed his wrist.
“Grayson, where are you going? Where’s he going?” Damian demanded, his voice tinged with confusion.
“We’re already here, Damian. Might as well pay our respects too,” Dick said gently, looking down at his youngest brother.
“He was our brother,” Dick added softly, the words carrying a gravity that Damian couldn’t ignore. “You’re welcome to stay out here if it makes you uncomfortable. But the family is in there.”
Damian hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. “Alfred’s not,” he said indignantly, trying to regain some control of the situation.
“But he would be if he were here,” Dick replied, his voice gentle but firm. “We all mourn in our own way, Damian. You don’t have to go in if you’re not ready.”
Damian’s gaze flicked between Dick and the figures at the gravesite, his usual resolve shaken. After a moment, he released Dick’s wrist, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly.
“Fine,” Damian muttered, his voice quieter now. “But don’t expect me to get all emotional.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dick said with a small smile, giving Damian a reassuring pat on the back before following Tim through the fence.
Damian lingered for a moment longer, his eyes narrowing as he watched his brothers join Bruce and Y/N. Then, with a deep breath, he steeled himself and followed, his steps slower, more deliberate. The weight of the moment pressed down on him, but for the first time, he didn’t feel the need to fight it.
After all, as much as he hated to admit it, maybe he was starting to understand what it meant to be part of this family.
Tim stepped up beside Y/N, his presence calm and reassuring. He gave them a soft nod of acknowledgment, his eyes flickering with understanding as he noticed the tears and the way they leaned against his father. Tim didn’t need words to convey his support; his silent companionship was enough.
Dick moved to stand beside Bruce, resting a hand on the older man’s shoulder. A shared look of understanding passed between them, one that spoke volumes without a single word. This moment was heavy, but they had each other, and that made all the difference.
Finally, Damian squeezed between Dick and Bruce, his small frame nestling close to his father’s side. His sharp eyes narrowed slightly at Y/N’s closeness, a flicker of something protective crossing his face. He discreetly clung to Bruce’s sleeve, a silent claim of territory that only someone as observant as Damian would make.
Y/N’s gaze shifted to the Wayne siblings, their eyes widening a fraction in surprise to see all of them here. The sight of the entire brood gathered around Jason’s grave added a weight to the moment that they hadn’t expected.
Pennyworth’s steps were light as he approached, his presence as impeccable as ever. Despite his age, Alfred carried himself with a dignity and grace that belied his years. He stood behind the five, a steady pillar of support. “I don’t suppose any of you brought an offering?” he teased lightly, his tone gentle yet playful.
Bruce’s normally stoic eyes softened, a rare warmth bubbling up from his chest as he glanced at Alfred. “Figured that’s your department,” he responded, a hint of affection in his voice.
“White lilies, daffodils, and forget-me-nots,” Alfred announced, setting the beautifully bound bouquet in front of the grave with care. His selection was thoughtful, each flower chosen with intention and meaning.
“It’s quite beautiful… A shame they’ll wither,” Y/N said softly, their voice tinged with melancholy.
“All things wither with time, dear. That doesn’t make them any less meaningful,” Alfred replied with gentle wisdom, his tone reassuring.
Y/N shot Bruce a look, a mix of surprise and familiarity in their eyes. “Someone gave me an eerily similar speech,” they remarked, their lips quirking into a small, knowing smile.
“I did. My wisdom comes from somewhere,” Bruce acknowledged, his voice carrying the weight of years of experience.
Alfred gave a wink and a nod, his expression warm to Y/N before his attention shifts to Dick. “I didn’t expect you to be here, Master Richard,” he said, his tone affectionate.
“Ah, I left Blüdhaven in good hands for the night,” Dick replied with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Wouldn’t miss a reunion for the world.”
Bruce’s gaze swept over his family, the people who had become his anchors in this world of shadows and loss. In moments like this, he was reminded of what he fought for—what they all fought for. The past could never be undone, but standing here together, they honored it, even as they looked toward the future.
And for a moment, in the quiet of the cemetery, with the scent of flowers lingering in the air and the presence of loved ones all around, the Wayne family found a fleeting sense of peace.
⊹₊⟡⋆ ⊹₊⟡⋆ ⊹₊⟡⋆
*(Please note New Balance is not actually on the S&P because its not publicly traded, I just thought it was a comical interaction)
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Approx. Word Count: 2,917
pt I - pt II - pt III (coming soon)
//Series Tag List: Available Upon Request!
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