#long but really insightful

[antis-hero]

"The great strength of the radical program is now, as it has always been, the powerful appeal it makes to the serious young woman. Man and marriage are a trap—that is the essence the young woman draws from the campaign for woman's rights. All the vague terror which at times runs through a girl's dream of marriage, the sudden vision of probable agonies, of possible failure and death, become under the teachings of the militant woman so many realities. She sees herself a 'slave,' as the jargon has it, putting all her eggs into one basket with the certainty that some, perhaps all, will be broken.

The new gospel offers an escape from all that. She will be a 'free' individual, not one 'tied' to a man. The 'drudgery' of the household she will exchange for what she conceives to be the broad and inspiring work which men are doing. For the narrow life of the family she will escape to the excitement and triumph of a 'career.' The Business of Being a Woman becomes something to be apologized for. All over the land there are women with children clamoring about them, apologizing for never having done anything! Women whose days are spent in trade and professions complacently congratulate themselves that they at least have lived. There were girls in the early days of the movement, as there no doubt are to-day, who prayed on their knees that they might escape the frightful isolation of marriage, might be free to 'live' and to 'work,' to 'know' and to 'do.'

What it was really all about they never knew until it was too late. That is, they examined neither the accusations nor the premises. They accepted them. Strong young natures are quick to accept charges of injustice."

-Ida M. Tarbell

From The Business of Being a Woman, 1912

[quicksilversnails]

Took some notes from the Wild Life retrospective episode of the Imp & Skizz podcast featuring Grian because I thought the behind the scenes info was really interesting!

(3:15) The wild cards were all kept totally secret from the players (apart from Grian), with the exception of the superpowers and finale (as they required the players to set keybinds)

(3:45) The players were given files containing the required mods each week, which were named things like "creeper rain" to throw them off

(4:12) Wild cards were a combination of data packs and mods

(4:38) Grian told them not to read the folder name to avoid spoilers (which is kind of impossible), so everyone fully believed there would be creeper rain lol. Grian was saying it in jest but everyone took it seriously and were apologetic about having seen it, to which Grian told them not to worry

(6:58) Grian originally contacted a data pack dev called Brace for help with programming the wild cards. Some, like the shrinking/growing could be achieved with minecraft attributes, but the snails were too janky and unusable. Grian still liked the idea though, so he reached out to mod developers Henkelmax and Breadloaf, who designed the pathfinding/behaviour from scratch

(8:49) They had a debugging mode used to test the pathfinding of the snails, shown in the podcast and in Grian's credits

(10:09) Grian wants most of the credit to go to the development team and artists, as he was mostly in charge of ideas & organization!

(10:39) Grian's only regret with the snails was that they were too fast in session 3, leading to unexpectedly many deaths. They were apparently not so difficult to get away from during testing, but perhaps the testers were more used to them than the players were

(11:44) Grian: "We did develop to the lowest common denominator" ie. prioritizing how players would struggle over how worrying about if players would do too well

(12:56) Oli's voice for the snails was iconic. It cost Impulse a life because he intentionally stayed closer to it to hear the voice lol

(13:42) Danny was in charge of the snail models and animations

(14:11) During testing, the snails just sounded like Oli, which made it feel weird. They pitched up his voice so that it'd be less immediately recognizable

(15:18) The snails' jumping attack was meant to be clearly telegraphed: they would stop, wiggle, make a "ooeee" sound before jumping. Many players had their friendly creatures volume turned very low/off (as cows and other mobs are loud), which made this attack much less obvious for them

(16:57) The growing/shrinking had the least testing done for it, as it was the simplest conceptually and to program. This meant that the falling off of blocks due to the shrinking hitboxes wasn't anticipated

(17:55) Before the 1st session, Grian told them that he didn't think anyone would die to the wild card. Pearl's death made Grian pretty nervous, as he didn't want everyone dying too early in the season

(19:29) 6 lives were given, knowing that many of the death to the wild cards were unexpected/unfair. The intent was for ~3 lives to be allocated for wild cards, and ~3 for PvP.

(21:13) The developers were all fans of the Life Series!

(22:43) The shrinking/growing was intentionally pretty simple to ease players/viewers into the concept and build up toward more dramatic wild cards like the snails

(25:38) In the hunger episode, Grian didn't know which foods would be good

(25:58) Grian thinks that "it's unfair that Grian already knows everything" is valid criticism, but that it's important for him to be involved with the ideas. Having someone else do that is like having someone else record his videos: Life Series is his brainchild

(26:35) Well before the season began, while they were still developing the concept, Grian asked the other players for wild card ideas that would meet a few criteria. All of them ended up being unused for one reason or another. Impulse thinks his ideas were very "inside the box" because he was viewing things through what was possible in vanilla Minecraft. His idea was to have a scavenger hunt where the players would search to find a relic. The first person to find it would get a buff. Skizz's idea was for every player to turn into a random passive mob for every given interval of time. They would have to find every other player of the same mob type as them or else the whole group loses a life.

(29:44) The food qualities were weighted by the rarity of the item, so very common blocks like dirt and cobblestone would never give anything good. The other items were randomly selected

(30:23) Regular blocks/items cannot be made edible normally, so they had to circumvent that and custom code a fix for items not stacking correctly

(32:41) While a lot of players do want to win, the main priority is creating entertainment, which prioritizes playing recklessly

(33:20) The food wild card wasn't included in the finale because it would've felt like "too much". There was a higher risk of technical issues since it changed the data values of items, and Grian didn't want someone's last death to be because they ate their sword. In his mind, it was a good and fun wild card, but didn't need to be repeated in the finale. Impulse points out that they all would have collected more rare items by that point, removing the incentive to search for blocks to eat

(33:46) The wild cards in the finale were nerfed from their original sessions. The shrinking/growing had a smaller height range, the snails moved slower, etc.

(36:21) The personalized snail skins were a late addition by Danny, who made 18 skins very quickly

(36:49) Grian did not anticipate the snails becoming as popular with fans as they were. After the session released, they had the idea to release the snail merchandise, which directly funded the rest of the season

(39:20) Grian spent what "felt like every day" testing with the developers. They'd record the sessions on Tuesdays, meet up with the dev team, talk about what need to be done, testing, bugs, etc, edit and upload on Saturday, and would get a few days grace before starting again

(40:01) After the snail session, Grian was worried that the season would be very short due to all the deaths. They were considering toning down the later wild cards but ultimately didn't change them too much

(40:36) The time wild card was carefully balanced. If it had gone even a little faster, many players likely would have died because they wouldn't have time to react to threats like baby zombies or creepers.

(40:57) While sessions normally run for a variable amount of time, session 4 was hardcoded at 2 hours. Grian ended the session ~10 minutes early, just after they hit max speed, because he felt like things were getting dicey

(42:46) When the wild card first activates, it looks a lot like the server had frozen or crashed. Grian told the players before the session started that it would look like the game was broken, but that it isn't broken. Skizz tabbed out anyway and missed the beginning 😔

(43:30) Having the rain start just as the wild card began was a good visual indicator of time slowing down. This was a suggestion from the dev team (probably Brace)

(44:41) Impulse and Grian "cheesed" the end of the session by going branch mining. Grian wanted players to take advantage of the wild cards (eg. mining quickly, helping to kill someone), and not have them just be an annoyance.

(45:30) Keeping the client and server-side time stay in sync was challenging. The sky's motion was changed to be smoother on client-side. The players were also not as fast as the server (around 2x faster), the server was going faster than that, and the time of day was even faster

(46:56) The sounds were pitched up/down based on the speed to add to the effect

(27:46) In testing, if the players were made 7x faster, it would be basically unplayable, which was why it was capped at 2x speed. This made mobs very dangerous, as they were now faster than players and could catch up to you and kill you easily

(49:01) On several occasions, they had to extend the fuse duration of creepers to make them more fair. In the time session, their speed was only increased by ~10%

(49:39) Usually, Grian was the one to test the wild cards and notice when things like creeper speed would be an issue, since he was the one with experience making videos

(50:50) A challenge with balancing wild cards is accounting for the playstyles of so many players: reckless players like Scar and Skizz, "kind and gentle" players like Bigb who would stay off to the sides, and "the sweat squad" (Scott, Impulse) who play very cautiously

(52:48) Trivia Bot was the only wild card that was not planned in advance. Grian was struggling to come up with a wild card for that episode, and wanted to have a wild card available that could give people lives in case many people died to early wild cards without it feeling cheap.

(53:33) Trivia seemed a little boring on its face, so presentation was essential

(54:34) This one made Grian the most stressed due to all the moving parts involved in making it (coding and pathfinding mostly by Henkelmax, visuals by Hoffen, audio/music, questions)

(55:08) Trivia Bot's design was based on Grumbot and Mettaton from Undertale. Hoffen drew concept art shown in the video

(58:32) They show Trivia Bot's custom animation for becoming a snail and it's really cool

(59:12) The music was the most stressful part of the project. Grian spent 2-3 days looking through Epidemic Sounds for a Trivia Bot theme song and couldn't find anything good. He commissioned Zera @hopepetal for a theme song, which is played in the podcast. However, Grian realized he needed a full audio package, so he commissioned Oli late in development, who created the final soundtrack and many audio variations

(1:01:38) Grian wants to send appreciation for everyone who worked on the project, even if their work ultimately went unused

(1:02:58) Skizz was happy to give back however he could by staying on standby in the final episode as a zombie, as the players were able to "reap all the benefits" of the hard work of the development team

(1:05:21) Grian didn't know any of the trivia questions beforehand, which were done by fans of the series. The goal was for ~50% of the questions to be answered correctly, which was approximately met

(1:07:11) Players couldn't get questions about themselves because it would be too easy. This would encourage players to leave their bot, allowing other players to mess with them

(1:07:57) Grian felt a little left out from the discovery element of the wild cards, and decided to mess with Scar by hiding his bot. He wasn't expecting Scar to die from it, and could tell that he was genuinely a little upset by it. Grian felt bad about it, which led to a genuine in-game alliance between them

(1:12:32) Grian was very close to letting Trivia Bot give lives as rewards, but decided it would feel too cheap

(1:14:38) Mob swap was slightly toned down, with more camels and sniffers spawning

(1:15:07) Evokers didn't drop totems anymore. Instead, there was a minuscule chance a warden or wither would spawn, which would drop a totem if killed. Grian was a little disappointed that the warden got cheesed in the end

(1:17:45) Having the mobs start passive and turn hostile was mostly for the presentation, building anticipation, and so players could predict where mobs would spawn and react accordingly, making things feel less unfair

(1:20:32) There was no superpower made for Skizz (or Mumbo presumably)

(1:20:38) The superpowers were another late addition. There was a large design doc where Grian created all the powers, which were handed over to Henkelmax and completed over 4 days

(1:21:42) Grian avoided superpowers involving strength, that could cause someone to die easily. Most of the powers were social or movement-based, which couldn't be used for offence as easily

(1:22:25) Some powers were randomly assigned, others weren't. Impulse's was random. Cleo's, Bigb's, Lizzie's, Grian's were assigned.

(1:24:25) Grian gave himself the mimic because it could easily backfire (like in Grian's fall damage death), and because it would've been confusing for a player who wasn't aware of the other powers. They likely would've spent the episode just figuring out how everything worked and not actually using the power to its best ability

Lots of discussion about the superpowers and how they interacted in the episode itself, go watch if you're interested :)

(1:33:38) Talk on how the series "standard" rules evolved since 3rd Life. There was no keep inventory, and no restrictions on enchanting levels or potions, which created slow or unbalanced fights

(1:36:23) 3rd Life was designed to be an experimental series, which made Grian eager to improve it. For example, some people just weren't dying in 3L, leading to the boogeyman in LL, and so on

(1:37:17) The goal with the seasons isn't to one-up the previous one, but to create a different experience every time, which keeps things engaging for the creators

(1:38:31) At the end of each session, Grian would ask the group if they had fun and how they felt about the wild cards. According the Skizz, the answer was "a resounding yes"

(1:39:08) Grian had moments throughout the season where he personally felt like things didn't go well for him, and was anxious for the rest of the group's episodes. Things worked out while editing the raw footage, though. His issues were never with the wild cards themselves, but his own actions (traps not working, spending too long branch mining), but would always find funny moments in his footage

(1:43:41) Everyone in the Life Series cast genuinely likes and genuinely respects everybody else in the group. This allows them to make the show and get mad at each other, because they know it's all just in-character

(1:44:50) It'd be hard to top Wild Life in spectacle, and Grian doesn't want to start an arms race with himself. The next season could potentially be closer to 3rd Life, but Grian's not sure yet. For Grian, Wild Life was the most enjoyable

(1:45:20) Grian: "As long as people keep enjoying [the Life Series] then I'd love to keep doing it"

(1:49:35) With the finale, Grian knew how the wild cards played out the previous sessions and was able to adjust them

(1:49:56) Grian's goal was to create safe chaos where everyone knew what was happening and wouldn't die to them, which didn't go entirely to plan. The snails were 60% of their original speed and people still died

(1:51:03) Grian made a precise timeline of when each wild card would start/stop, it wasn't randomized.

(1:54:16) All the superpowers were randomized, with Bdubs' power being removed from circulation because it didn't have much use in a finale setting

(1:56:10) It was important for Grian that in the final moments, the wild cards were removed, so there were no interruptions. The timing worked out well because there were a few people left and it ended within ~10 minutes (this implies that the change wasn't based on # of players alive, as people had speculated based on Gem's death)

(1:58:48) The players all randomly switched to zombie skins throughout the session to mess with people on NameMC. Well-played :)

[secriden]

Something about how Fadel’s first instinct after he finds out the full extent of Lily’s betrayal is anger at Keen and then later guilt and anger at himself.

Something about how Fadel never even considered the possibility of her being his true enemy when his ex disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Something about how Fadel — fastidious, paranoid, cautious Fadel — refused to noticed any of the red flags until the accusation was put into words and something in his brain slotted into place because suddenly all the things he has been ignoring for years made sense.

Something about how thoroughly effective Lily’s brainwashing was because Fadel desperately wants to have a mother, wants to be treasured and protected and loved with gentle and soft hands.

Something about how Style gives that to him without thought or prompting, all instinct to reach out with a delicately soft touch, because his love for Fadel enables him see true, to see the broken heart Fadel tries so hard to hide behind a harsh exterior, before Fadel has even uttered a word, and in so doing, loves Fadel with all the careful tenderness that he so richly deserves.

(Something about how Fadel trusts Style so fully that he does not show the slightest bit of hesitancy or caution when Style touches him so intimately.)

Something about how Fadel was searching in all the wrong places for someone to simply hold him, and found it instead when he wasn't even looking, in the arms of the most unlikely and wonderfully perfect person.

[crunchybeards]

I'm sure this has been beat to death by now, but my favourite aspect of Sam as a character is the fact that he truly does encapsulate one of the most pervasive themes in the game, the theme of being humane. Sorry for the really long ramble but I just wanted to get this off my chest and just genuinely commend the game for what it does with its protagonist. Be warned for spoilers for the whole game and some endings.

From the begining, Sam is shown to be an empathetic character, despite being a pseudo-silent protagonist. As different as every route can be, Sam always feels some form of very human remorse. He feels remorse over killing cursed individuals when he reflects in the mirror. He feels remorse for fucking up the ritual and damning the astronomers. He feels guilty over taking the resources of people who have become cursed, even though he knows that they won't be using them anymore. At least once per playthrough, he experiences some form of remorse towards another party.

As far as a reach as it is for me to say this, I personally saw the dialogue options that players can pick as Sam's own thoughts and the specific thoughts that you choose to pick are the thoughts that become fully realised and are added to his overall character for that playthrough. There are often a lot of dialogue options that are negative or reactionary. Yet every single time, there's at least one positive one, one where he feels empathy, one where he believes there is hope for an individual despite how bleak the situation may seem. Or at the very least he chooses to be civil and non-discriminatory towards a cursed person.

As grotesque as the game is and as twisted as the Cursed become, they're still human, they're still people even if not physically apparent. And 9 times out of 10, they still behave like people. My favourite aspect about the game is that there are some characters that seem like they're too far gone, that they only wish to hurt people and yet if kindness is extended towards them, they can still be saved. We see this with the hidden-away garage. The fish and chips shop. The Cursed are still willing to trade and salvage the situation as best as they can. They're making the most out of a shitty situation despite struggling interally with their sanity and adjusting to newly formed bodies.

Choosing to be humane at the end of the world is one of the best things about Sam's character. Nobody would hold it against him if he were to kill cursed individuals indiscriminately. There are several characters that he can befriend who have done the same like Hellen. But being given the option to negotiate, the option to talk and to extend an olive branch, he takes it. He talks to cursed individuals who are lucid, he even befriends a few like Joel. Even in the ending where he becomes a swarming mass of arms and feels overwhelmed by his new ever expanding form, even though he is so scared, he took a moment to calm himself down, pick himself up and get to work helping people. Even as a borderline Lovecraftian being, he actively chose to be the driving force for good. Even though the prior examples I listed are choices that can be made by the player, this ending proves that Sam is a genuinely good and humane person. In the 104 Gods ending, the gods still destroyed parts of humanity and even divided it further. In the Screaming Sky ending where the astronomers ascend into a unified god like entity as the Exhaulted Four, they were actively destroying the planet and killed random people in an unpredictable bloody purge. Every other instance of people being presented with this awesome change, they were destructive, unintentionally so due to insanity, but ultimately destructive. The sole exception to these realities is Sam. When he's aware of what he's become, he helps, he becomes the Saviour of Humanity. He could've been like any of the 104 Gods, start his own cult/ community, be the supreme ruler of Earth because like with the gods, who could stop him. But he didn't, and that's what truly does differentiate him. The Gods could've been lucid and with how they actively do rule over the earth in their respective zones, it appears as though they are. And yet we have Sam, a god in his own right, but is a good person (well except for the Perfect Ritual ending where he overwhelms the earth Xin Amon style but I attribute that to losing himself completely as opposed to his character's intention).

As corny as it may sound, Sam truly does choose to be kind as opposed to choosing the 'right' option of caving into fear and attacking enemies/ isolating himself. To Sam, being a kind person is not dependent on appearance, it isn't dependent on what you can personally get out of helping another person but it's about being a helper of your fellow man, regardless of everything that is happening. No matter the route, no matter the player's input, that humanity is always there and I admire that about him.

Tldr:

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Every time I see people talking about morals in Slay The Princess I just have to say that it’s… not the point of the game? Morals don’t really matter in the world of STP. So labelling which of the voices and or vessels are good people or not really doesn’t have any meaning. They’re just reacting to the circumstances they were given. Very human reactions, may I add.

The game encourages the players to look at a different perspective and understand why the characters act the way they do, and in turn maybe understand themself better as well. The existence of morals and what’s good and what’s bad defeats the whole purpose of the game. All that really matters is what you do and how you react to your relationship with the Princess.

(Edited to have this cause I have a stupid idea. Ignore this)

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

okay so i finally finished it... allow me to present a comprehensive, chronological compilation of miles and alex singing *THAT* moment in standing next to me for the whole eycte tour 🌟

this video took me the better part of two months to make, and cost me a not insignificant part of my sanity (related: i may never want to hear this song again), so yeah... i hope you enjoy 😅

[dorotheado]

im not sure you understand this but you left your typewriter at my apartment straight from the tortured poets department. i think some things i'll never say, like who uses typewriters anyway? but you're in self sabotage mode throwing spikes down on the road, but i've seen this episode and still loved the show. who else decodes you? and who's gonna hold you like me? and who's gonna know you if not me? i laughed in your face and said, you're not dylan thomas. i'm not patty smith. this ain't the chelsea hotel - we're modern idiots. and who's gonna hold you like me? nobody. no fucking body. nobody. you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate. we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist. I scratch your head, you fall asleep, like a tattooed golden retriever. but you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head, but i've read this one where you come undone - i chose this cyclone with you, and who's gonna hold you like me? who's gonna know you like me? i laughed in your face and said, you're not dylan thomas. i'm not patty smith. this ain't the chelsea hotel - we're modern idiots. and who's gonna hold you like me? no fucking body. nobody. nobody. sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me, but you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave, and i had said that to jack about you so i felt seen - everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. because we're crazy. so tell me: who else is gonna know me? at dinner you would take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on and that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding. who's gonna hold you? me. who's gonna know you? me. you're not dylan thomas. i'm not patty smith. this ain't the chelsea hotel - we're two idiots. and who's gonna hold you? who's gonna hold you? who's gonna hold you? who's gonna hold you? who's gonna hold you? you left your typewriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department. who else decodes you?

[good-beans]

this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad. 

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either. 

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

[mcu-opinions]

That’s an awful lot of words to use when “Project Insight 4.0” would do.

On the other hand, do I think Tony is the sort of person who would look at his first two failures with AI-controlled death-from-above orbital weapons (Ultron and EDITH) and try again? And instead of expressing any regret for the death and destruction they caused, give the next try a smug, self-congratulatory name?

Yes, yes I do.

How people who like Tony can claim he would act like this is beyond me. This sort of insufferable, short-sighted, douchebaggery is one his absolute worst qualities.

[sevenines]

watching rocknaldo reactions is so painful for me not because i hate rocknaldo but because i never understand why everybody else hates it T_T

[tabellae-rex-in-sui]

20th century historians be employing 21st century blorbo-eyed tumblr tactics to defend the actions of a man from the 18th century

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Do you ever think about how Shifty, the embodiment of change, wants things to go back the way it was before the split, while TLQ, the embodiment of being static, is conflicted over going back to how it was before and becoming a god again since he had a taste of what it’s like to be mortal and be his own person? And that part of him wants to change that? I think about that sometimes

(Edited to have this cause I have a stupid idea. Ignore this)

[queer-reader-07]

op could you elaborate on the she/her muriel thing. because i totally get what you mean but i find it so hard to articulate why... its just like. mmmmm. canon they/them character. but you wont respect their prns. but then again i enjoy when people get genderwierd w the ineffable spouses. would you respect my prns if you cant even respect a fictional character. is that the same thing. idk.

hi anon! i'll try best to elaborate, but apologies in advance if it comes off a bit... intense?

to give some context to my words:

i am nonbinary

i am afab

my pronouns are they/them

most everyone with the exception of close friends and people on the internet misgender me with she/her pronouns because they perceive me as a woman.

i think the root of it for me is that muriel has no experience interacting with earth, let alone humans, before they're sent down to be Inspector Constable. and because they have no experience with humans, they most definitely have very little context for the human construct that is gender. muriel's pronouns are they/them because those are the default gender neutral pronouns in english. muriel (like the other angels and demons) is referred to with they/them pronouns because, for all intents and purposes, they don't have gender.

whereas aziraphale and crowley (and even gabriel to a certain extent) have interfaced with humanity enough to have developed some level of understanding regarding gender, and possibly even an understanding of what they want their gender to be/be perceived as.

additionally, crowley and aziraphale play with gender in a way that feels very intentional to me.

crowley has canonically, in the show, presented femme. meta writers far more skilled than me have examined how, during the crucifixion scene, crowley is very obviously dressed more like the women in the background than the men. and it's not just in the historical flashbacks that we see crowley's genderfuckery. his modern look is comprised of a combination of femme and masc pieces. he wears a woman's cut waistcoat and his "11 years ago" look features women's sunglasses. all while inhabiting a decidedly man-shaped body.

i'm also just going to remind the audience that crowley outright denies being "a lad" in season 2. he straight up told us he's not A Dude.

aziraphale's genderfuckery is definitely less obvious and some might say debatable. that being said, i would make the argument that aziraphale's tendency to dress and present in a way that results in him being almost universally perceived as not only A Gay Man, but an effeminate gay man at that, is a quintessential example of gender as performance. and i do believe that aziraphale is making a very conscious and deliberate choice to present as a gay man. for fuck's sake he calls himself THE Southern Pansy, he knows what he's doing.

also, i know it didn't actually happen, but we almost got both of them presenting femme in the 60s so like. there's that too.

so, to me, it's ok to fuck around with crowley and aziraphale's genders in fanfic and art and the like because they do so canonically. the book makes it very clear that they are "man-shaped" but not necessarily men, ie they have chosen bodies that are perceived as being A Gender but that doesn't mean they technically are.

whereas muriel does not. muriel doesn't have a concept of gender because they haven't been on earth or around humans long enough to develop one. they are only ever referred to with gender neutral language. so it just feels really gross to me when people choose to she/her them. because to me it feels like saying "well this body that appears woman-shaped to me must mean they are a woman" which is a sentiment i, unfortunately, know all too well.

muriel is a character that is canonically referred to with they/them pronouns, on a major TV show on a major streaming platform no less. so it really fucking sucks to see people disregard that because they "can't remember to they/them muriel" or because they "seem like they use she/her."

to put it bluntly, every single argument i've ever read in favor of she/her-ing muriel has boiled down to "i just can't be bothered to remember they use they/them" and if you can't use a fictional characters pronouns correctly then i have zero faith you can use a real person's pronouns correctly. all i hear when i read those arguments is "i can't be fucked to do the bare minimum of gendering trans people correctly."

and lastly, i know it's genderfuckery when people she/her aziraphale and crowley because they're "man shaped" in the book and played by male actors in the show. but i don't have much faith that it's genderfuckery when people she/her muriel because i can almost guarentee it happens for no other reason than the fact that Quelin Sepulveda is a woman.

[grapecaseschoices]

RO jamble, I let the die decide. So one for each: Andy x Adam, Hiyam x Seven, Irvin x Cressida and Kendis x Lae'zel (oh boy, I can see them butting heads)

Andy x Adam

So, Andy's best friend is Nate [surprisingly] but he and Adam have a lot of commonalities -- they're both ridiculously loyal, they have great poker faces, they're diligent workers [andy when he chooses to be lol, adam always], and they're protective [go team would save a loved one at cost of other things!*]

So, I do think personality-wise they COULD work. HOW would they work? /shrugs. BEATS ME! I mean. Let us be realistic. The in for Mason was the sex. And MASON realizes he's in love before Andy does. MASON! Okay? Let that sink in. Adam don't fuck.

I suppose it would be a very and truly slow friends to lovers. I think it would ideally work starting when Andy was younger, because Andy was ... more brittle but also more open. Plus Andy is ridiculously sentimental [and I could say Adam is too], so starting something when Andy was younger would make Adam an exception. Not just in considering love [because well, he's already there] but as an Exception he would be already past the most basic defenses. Andy would be willing to be there with and for Adam much sooner.

If this happens when Andy is older, as the detective. Then Adam is gonna get a taste of his own medicine. Do we think Adam is the type to have sex with someone he loves just to be close with them because said person is 'lolz the fuck is romance? valentine's gimmick?'? Because if so, that's how it would happen. Adam would have to be VERY careful not to fuck that up tho -- he would have to walk a tight rope or he'd get shut down fast. And wow this got away from me.

*if it was mason and wayhaven specifically it would be hard for andy, but mason would win ... and i guess in this scenario adam would win. but if it was them PLUS wayhaven vs the world. the world could burn roflmao. and pls rebecca is dead in this scenario, i cant think of the angst of counting her separate]

Hiyam x Seven

actually WERE together in the past, they're on the ex route. And they were each other's everything. There is not much of a chance of them getting back together. The only way Hiyam would leave with Seven would be a guarantee -- Seven would have to be able to ensure that this new band or them as a duo would get the traction Hiyam already has. Because Hiyam loves Seven but she arguably loves fame more. And I think the second Seven realized it - and they would be suspcious I feel - it would not work. And staying would kill parts of Seven which ... despite Hiyam being up her ass she would notice, and that would hurt her too. Then they'd be back at square one.

So could it work? Yeah. But not for long. Maybe they were doomed to fail. Maybe if I play more I will change my mind. Is this what tragedy is?

Irvin x Cressida

Yes. They're best friends. It would have to be friends to lovers, because if Irvin started with a crush or Cessida approached him that way he might be a bit skittish bc how her father feels about Drakos [and Cyrus' big mouth making that obvious]. But at the moment she is his very best friend -- and that is saying something bc Irvin has a big heart lol. She absolutely adores him.

They COULD become something. Would they work long term? Hmmm. Cressida is more ambitious than Leon, I will leave it at that.

Kendis x Lae'zel

Oh, your'e right. I already tried it. Well, sex. Lae'zel would have to know when to shut her mouth and she is far too smug for Kendis' liking. I feel if Lae'zel wasnt so rash with her tongue and so self-confident [which would make her not who we love], I could see her ... complying with Kendis. And Kendis tolerating taht. It would be sex to fuck buddies to .... slow friends to lovers.

Maybe they don't have a chance to talk for a week after they first have sex then they fall into sex a second time too tried to talk. And then that way.

I feel they actually could work, especially a more matured Lae'zel in the sense that she is better at tongue holding but also she would prick at Kendis' softer side and by then Kendis would have built up tolerance and even amusement of Lae'zel just being Lae'zel. But it won't happen bc of ego roflmao.

Ty for the ask! This was so fun!! Especially Andy's. Deliciously great food for thought.

mismatch ship ask!

[razrogue]

channeling energy (Minthara x Tav)

It takes Minthara some time to come to terms with the force that Gan is.

Someone being so in sync with her and wasn't trying to kill her to take it all was like a fever dream. All the right words are said, almost all the right moves are made, Minthara found it unsettling at first. Many nights she wanted to push into Gan's mind to really find out if there was a dagger waiting for her. The one night her curiosity got the better of her and she did, it was illuminating and incredibly frustrating.

Gan felt Minthara's tadpole engaging hers as they got situated in Rivington. She knew it couldn't really be anyone else because it was a sensation she'd known before with Minthara given how she often intruded into her thoughts long before now. Minthara hadn't done it since before the shadow cursed lands when she last saw her after the party so Gan was a little annoyed at the intrusion now. She dropped the bag she'd been holding and stared at her, waiting for her to use her words. It surprised Minthara for a moment before she finally tells her.

She wanted to know if this was all a dream. If she had to be worried that they would eventually end up on opposing sides. Gan looks at her before finally agreeing to let her in. Minthara is hesitant at first. She had to admit to herself that her intrusion was not entirely about finding out if she was only a rest away from a dagger to her throat, not unlike how she'd once done to her. Whispers of companionship had also crossed her mind. She knew the elf was coupled with the vampire spawn. She'd seen them cavorting about but he was of no consequence to her, he barely registered as a threat, let alone a rival. Minthara did find it puzzling how such a formidable person had gotten tangled up with such a fiend but being on the surface had introduced her to many strange customs.

The two of them went into the barn, away from prying eyes, and allowed their minds to mingle.

Minthara pushed in, gently at first, bracing for whatever lie in the thick of it all. She found herself greeted by hesitation of Gan wondering if they should trust them then admirable scenes of the two of them side by side slicing and smiting their foes. It brings Minthara joy to see them removing threats to their claim. But then Minthara pushed further and saw something a lot more personal. The two of them embracing each other by firelight. Gan lying beneath her, hands palming her ass, running her tongue along the edge of her ear. Quickly nibbling its point as she slides her hand further down until it reaches warmth.

Minthara pulls back. It is a revelation indeed. She tells her that she is a little surprised, not that they had not connected physically before. But the vision Gan had shown her held far more intimacy than she anticipated.

She reached for her hand, letting her know her feelings were not one sided. Then she had to lay everything out - that she did not share those she cared about.

Gan runs her thumb across the back of her hand, along a freshly healed scar. She understood that Minthara felt that way but she could not live like that. She told her how she grew up in a family with many parents who all loved and embraced each other freely. She found it incredibly selfish to want to consume someone wholly when you are capable of loving many as love and the capacity to love was not finite. The irony wasn't lost on Gan how she could be unapologetically selfish in so many aspects of her life but loving and sharing herself with others was not one of them. She understood that Minthara felt how she did but she was not one to hoard her affection for others. Gan grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm as she stood up. 

She valued Minthara, not only as an ally but as someone she was starting to care about in a sense, but she would not be made to conform to someone else's definition or expectations. And so Minthara takes that knowledge and response in stride.

It was not her way and she knew the surface folk moved very differently than those in the Underdark. She couldn't fathom having to share her affections with others because when she loved, she only wanted to love one.

But time and insight had a way of bringing clarity. When they were engaged they were no less attended to than the spawn was. Even if it hadn't been in a romantic capacity at the time, Minthara felt no less important to her. Minthara slowly came to see what Gan meant. It may not have been her way but it was a sight to see and to be a part of. So when she finally decided she was willing to partake, she did so with the full knowledge that she wouldn't feel lesser.

[antiadvil]

ok i'm trying to figure out exactly what is going on in my head bc i don't really find the wad hat thing particularly cute like it's funny and i'll joke about it but it inspires no shippy feelings in me.

and i think like. part of it is that migraines can be so scary and difficult to control and i don't find "oh this one specific hat helps with migraines even though no others do" to be like... a comforting or reassuring narrative. if that happened to me like yeah i'd be happy that it helped but it's really scary to have so little control over your disease! what happens if i lose that hat? if i don't know why it's working i can't replicate it. it's scary to rely so much on one specific item that can't be replaced.

i also don't want people to actually think that the hat is a cure lmao. i know i literally called it a cure in probably more than one post and like it's fine to joke about but blah blah blah migraine is a lifelong uncurable neurological condition that can only be managed with preventative and abortive medications. people casually call things "cures" for migraine all the time and like the colloquial use of the word cure is super different than the medical use so i can't really say people are using it wrong, but for something to be a medical cure it needs to get rid of a condition and stop it from coming back. there are no migraine medications that do this: even if botox stops me from getting a migraine ever again, it's not a cure because it wears off and i need to keep getting it every 3 months for it to keep working. i know that people say "cure" all the time when they really mean "medication that works really well at managing symptoms" and i'm not going to demand people stop that entirely but i do also want to point out that phil only said it helped with migraines he got from looking at his phone (I'm sure he gets migraines from many other sources) and he didn't say how well it works. and i'm sure he's using a fuckton of other preventative tools. which doesn't mean the hat isn't helping! phil hasn't spoken much about the details of his migraine management (which is completely his choice and i support it, tbh if i had a major platform like his i would be really worried that i might accidentally influence people in the wrong way, like i would never want someone to make their migraine management decisions based on what worked well for me) so i don't want people to think that like avoiding chocolate + wearing the wad hat are the pillars of his migraine management plan just bc that's all he's shared.

i'm also maybe a little scared that people are going to start unironically suggesting that i get the hat for my migraines lmao bc ppl give me stupid migraine hacks ALL the time like... i'm not going to drink half a liter of purple gatorade in 60 seconds and then do weird breathing exercises for half an hour i'm glad it seems to be helping you but i don't have time to try every stupid migraine hack someone recommends. and some of them have very real risks involved, like SO many people have suggested i get a daith piercing (which is not an easy piercing to care for!) and i might have to kill the next person who tells me i should get one, i don't mind explaining why i haven't gotten one but it's crazy to just confidently tell me i should get one. and okay yeah i do mind a little! when it's like the tenth time i've had to explain it and the people i'm talking to don't really care! if you genuinely are curious about migraine treatment options and want to know why i haven't gotten a daith piercing i could talk about that for ages but it really comes down to "there is basically no evidence this will work" and i'm tired of having to justify myself every time people present me with "treatment ideas" that are stupid and won't work! i'm tired of having to pretend like these are good ideas just to be polite. i understand that sometimes really weird random things help with migraines, but if they worked regularly for large groups of people, they wouldn't be weird migraine hacks, they would be actual medically advised migraine management techniques. human bodies are weird! something working for one guy absolutely does not mean it will work for everyone else. if the wad hat was universally helpful for migraines i think people other than phil would have noticed by now. like i said, i find pressure on my head to generally be pretty painful so i find the concept of something snug on your head helping migraines to be incredibly weird, but i'm glad it somehow helps phil lmao. like, i haven't seen any posts even remotely genuinely suggesting people with migraines should have gotten the wad hat. i'm just preemptively defensive about it because it just seems like the kind of genre of post that could feasibly pop up i guess? hopefully i'm preemptively being defensive about nothing.

idk i don't wanna be a killjoy like it really is a bullshit fanfiction scenario and i think a lot of the jokes are funny i just don't want people to like genuinely believe/spread migraine misinformation bc of the wad hat? which is like a crazy sentence to say i know idk how i got here either. and i'm more interested in this fact from a migraine perspective than a phan perspective. like idk i'd be more impressed from a phan perspective if dan designed the hats that way on purpose or something lmao. the functionality of the hat presumably has nothing to do with the wad design part so like eh? i do think it's kind of cute the way he Always has it with him like idk the same way i hope that my little hat and glasses and massive bag of rattling pill bottles and inability to properly frown and someday, probably my weird lack of forehead wrinkles, are all endearing to my friends and family. like not TOO endearing you know. but a little bit endearing.