#logic says he did it all right.
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(tw for death, and rise movie spoilers. the premise is justĀ āwhat if he DIDNT get out of the prison dimension thoughā as we all tend to think of sometimes. nearly teared up writing this good luck)
There is nothing left of him.
There was no hope.
There was never hope.
This was simply the tale of a sacrifice,
A laugh and a smile and a katana left,
A world saved,
And a life lost.
The sky receives howling wails,
The ground receives salty tears,
The walls of their home receive the silence and the empty hollow nothing of it all.
A room abandoned.
A grave without a body.Ā
What a world, what a world.
What a world, saved, but without him.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it, boy of blue?
Was it worth it, leaving one katana and a laugh and three mourning brothers and two grieving fathers and a broken sister and a devastated brother, the one that lost you twice?
Was it worth it, starchild? Darling, sweetheart, everything you were and are and could have been?
Here you wander and see and live and dream and die.
There is a ghost, wandering the streets of New York.
It was worth it, the starchild whispers.
Darling and baby boy and blue and aoi and Nardo and love, 14, 14, 14.
He smiles, and the sky receives nothing but a quiet laugh.
New York, what a town.
Thank god I saved it.
#throws this at you WITNESS. BE AFFLICTED BY MY CURSE#sometimes i think too hard and i .#so so young what if he didnt get out. what if he had died there. his final words a singlekatana no body to bury.#and if he stays there? if the blessing of the hamato lets him wander new york yet again at his brothers sides?#and god. if he could choose to do so he would do it again.#because this is his town and his family and his world and he refused to let them hurt like that. refused to let that happen.#logic says he did it all right.#one for the many.#one for the many no matter the age.#no matter how precious they are to anyone.#this was a simple trolly problem and leo knew the solution the moment he saw the situation at hand.#so the sky recieves grief and wishes and love.#so the earth receives an empty grave and flowers planted alongside.#so the world receives the broken souls and its excellent future and it loses a clever sweet fun little soul.#rottmnt#lunas lies#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#tw death#tw implied death#i do get how heavy as fuck this is so hmu if ive flubbed the tags please!#this didnt turn out quite the way i wanted it to honestly? and tumblr HATES poem formats so its not like...put together the right way#but regardless it gets the idea across i think. also its 1 am im allowed to be a lil off
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though š i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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Yes, she decided. The moment she continued to go in his chamber, she could advice him to wed laena instead of trying to have a relationship with him, she could have remember him of his duty. She had a choice as everyone has
clearly logic is something that will not reach you no matter what I say but let's try again shall we.
first off, Viserys married for pleasure, not power or political gain. he knew his duties he knew what was best and had no interest. he married Alicent because that's what he wanted. it would be insanely inappropriate for a girl to advise a king on political matters AND it should not be the job of a 14 year old child to tell a king what he should be doing.
second off, she had a father to please, cause again, to reiterate, she was his daughter and she had a duty to him and her house. this was not a duty she wanted, but she didn't have a choice. she was young but se wasn't stupid she knew what her father expected of her, and if word got back from Viserys that she was actively advising him to marry someone else, she would then not only bring disobeying her father but going against him.
thirdly, and more minorly, "she should have pushed him to marry laena" isn't the gotcha you think it is. laena was even younger than her, and even if it was politically expected of him, still fucking gross.
lastly, cause I apparently can't stress this enough, SHE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE, plain and simple. she had no agency, she had no power, she had no out, she was at the mercy of her father, she had to obey him, she had to do what he said, even if it meant walking herself to slaughter. once she met with the king, he took a liking to her and DEMANDED her presence, he the DEMANDED her hand. again, there was no point she could have said no. she couldn't say no to her father, she couldn't advise the king (he barely tolerated it when she was literally the queen, let alone if she had just been some girl entertaining him in his chambers), she couldn't deny the king of anything, she didn't have a choice.
she was 14 and scared, 14 and trying to survive, 14 and trying to please her father, 14 and sent to a man 3 times her age's chambers, 14 and lusted after by the king, 14 and knowing of her place in the world and what was expected of her. like every other woman in their history, she couldn't escape, she couldn't, there's no plainer way to say it. she faced her duty with poise and a stiff lip, cause that's what you had to do, but she was just a child.
you can't expect her to have been some radical icon, there were none, women who went against their station in life were punished or killed or put into god awful betrothals to lessen the shame brought to her family. she was a nobleman's daughter, she had a house to bring honor to. she did the heartbreaking thing of giving up, for the benefit of her father and house, doesn't mean she wanted it, doesn't mean it was ok, doesn't mean she isn't deserving of pity. giving in to your duty =/= wanting it.
"she had a choice as everyone has" she had a choice every woman has; accept it with grace, be forced into it, or damn herself to a fate much worse (and that's being generous, most didn't even have that many choices). it's the men who had choices, Otto offered his daughter up, he didn't have to, he had no obligation and nothing to lose if he didn't. Viserys had every choice, he could have married whoever he wanted, he could have denied her the second she entered his chambers. the men in her life had every choice to change her fate, yet they didn't take it, and you would rather blame her over them?
and listen, I know your set in your mindset of victim blaming a child bride who was raped until her husband didn't have the health or stamina to keep it up, and that you'll choose to blame her over the men in her life who damned her to such a fate. nothing I say will ever convince you, cause you clearly hate her past where logic will reach. you can keep sending asks with your terrible takes that have no backing or logic and actively ignore the political and societal state of the times and what it means for her as a young noble girl, and I'll keep answering them cause I have nothing better to do and I'll defend my girl to the grave.
#actually unbelievable#I cant wrap my head around this lack of logic and common sense#like her offering up the 12 year old is any better#cause if she did y'all woukd be all over her like a pack of dogs#calling her horrible things#whether or not he even took laena's hand instead#she would have been the evil girl throwing a 12 year old at an olf man to save herself#and the āshe had a choice thingā is such a tired insanely incorrect take that is frankly mind numbing#she didnt#that was the point of her position within the plot#she had no choice no power no agency#she did ehat was expected of her to survive#just because she accepted her duty doesnt make it right#I dont know what else I can say about that#its just the fact of the matter#thats what it was like for women#pro alicent hightower#alicent hightower#pro team green#hotd#house of the dragon#currently gnawing on my own leg with anger
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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just a thought but like. if akiyama, whoās established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryuās death to have been faked (or at least āfishyā in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima wouldāve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasnāt adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didnāt even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so heās got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etcā way better than he wants people knowing, generallyā and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because heās literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions toļæ¼ diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.
tldr: I think the reasons majima didnāt go rogue/apeshit after kiryuās alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think heās legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didnāt die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.
#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem#like I do think heād be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasnāt dead#but thereād be a pesky depressive part of him thatād scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world thatās so fond of#torturing him. he doesnāt think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally#years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventuallyā heād have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense#that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ārealisticā nihilism would Strongly reassure him#via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like#and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryuās fake death obviously but#heād be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling#apart. considering he doesnāt have basis for the kind of hope theyāre capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually#his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts.#I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but#heād be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that heād ruin shinadaās life or cause him trouble#anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didnāt dive nearly enough into the old guard charactersā reactions to kiryuās ādeathā so. yeah#rambling#y6#majima#kazumaji
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im really sorry if this question ends up being repetitive: but, if not for bruceās over reliance on dick to regulate his thoughts and emotions, why would dick grow up into feeling like he needs to repress his emotions so much and his eagerness to act as peopleās support? i know youve spoken about wolfman and his altering of their relationship but if ntt is generally an accurate portrayal of an adult dick, to me this nevertheless sounds like the consequences a parent-child relationship where the responsibilities are titled too much towards the child
i suppose this could also segue into asking for recs that would help me better understand your interpretation of their relationship š
not repetitive at all! to me the irony of wolfman's depiction of dick lies in that it is simultaneously something you can logically ascertain from prior canon but not for the reasons actually presented by wolfman. if that makes sense. he does extra work that isn't actually necessary to help explain why dick would act the way that he does because there's plenty of reasons for it without rewriting his history with bruce to have always been suppressed and edgy and dark. to me it makes far more sense to capitalize on the inevitable disconnect between bruce and dick as an adult and a child. batman: full circle is a good example of that dichotomy (and although it was published in the early 90s it built on mike w. barr's prior understanding of the relationship between dick and bruce that he wrote into the early 80s). bruce's primary concern for the people he works with is never standards or finesse but safety. he worries constantly about others coming to harm under his watch and with a child in particular those worries were exacerbated. he ran a tight ship not because he believed dick had anything to prove but because the only way dick could keep being robin was if he went about it safely. that was obv easy for an adult to understand. but not so much for a child
to bruce these worries were practical and par for the course (as well as an expression of his love and protectiveness) but for dick their consequences formed the crux of his entire world. as a child he idolized everything about bruce. his heroism. his work ethic. his skill. his resolve. his preparedness. if dick couldn't live up to the standard he set for himself in idolizing bruce then what could he ever hope to amount to? that was the thought constantly going through his head. and it's why the bulk of his childhood and primary tenure as bruce's partner was so precariously protected by the fact that nothing bad ever really happened during it (and admittedly this framing is convenient because even chronologically speaking nothing very significant happened in their history with each other until dick left for university in 1969) (i know dixon opted to write that whole shtick with dent in his version of events but personally i never found it necessary to do so). there is enough there in the idea of dick working hard for the course of a decade to embody who he believed bruce to be that lends itself to it eventually being difficult for him to healthily express himself once the rift between them actually began to emerge
because what about bruce was there to actually see that was broken and dark before dick became an adult? i know a lot of dick fans hate batman #408 because they don't like that it enforced "retirement" upon dick (which i personally believe is a conclusion they come to because of the way batman #416 re-framed the same scene) but to me that's an inaccurate reading of the text. batman #408 was about bruce (admittedly far too belatedly) recognizing that he could not in good conscience continue to ask dick to go out and be a vigilante on what he considered to be his own "orders". he viewed dick's close call with death at the hands of the joker as something directly of his own making. although their tenure with each other had been wonderful if dick wanted to continue to be a vigilante it had to be on his own terms and of his own volition. obv that was logical to bruce and it was something dick managed to accept in the moment. but it's still hard to go from always having a purpose alongside someone you idolized to finally being entrusted entirely to forge your own
in general i like the idea of dick the adult becoming privy to all of the personal problems and conflicts that come with being a vigilante. he was conveniently shielded from a lot of those problems as a child because all he had to do was be bruce's partner and hope to live up to the title. bruce had no reason to trauma dump on him or talk about his worries and concerns at length with him because it was never supposed to be dick's job to field those worries and concerns in the first place. he was a child. the only thing bruce wanted to do was to help channel his emotions through an outlet and provide him with a home to grow up in. but when you become an adult often that dynamic shifts. you're still not responsible for fielding those worries and concerns but you can perhaps be trusted with them. that's why i like the framing in batman #408 of dick now being a man. it's a subtle way to frame the double-edged sword of adulthood. the world is in your hands now but so will be the horrors that come with it. coming to terms with the real world that bruce lives in should be hard for dick. coming to terms with who bruce is when he's not perfect should be hard. coming to terms with how quietly bruce kept his grief because he did not see fit to overwhelm a child with it should be hard. that dichotomy of dick both wanting to be bruce's brother and his son should form the crux of their conflict with each other because you can't hope to be someone's equal and someone's protected at the same time in that kind of relationship. for dick to transition into the position of equal he has to expose himself to the fact that bruce is not in fact an idol but someone irrevocably human. and that should interfere significantly with his head and his own standards for himself
#all of this to say. i don't think it's so much about pre-ntt canon directly predicating ntt-dick's characterization#like it's not these events happened in the 60s and 70s so that's why he acts this way in the 80s#it's more the opposite. because these things Didn't happen in the 60s and 70s. that's why being on his own in the 80s is hard#dick wants so badly to be bruce's equal and an adult and a leader and someone trusted by others#but those are all things easier said than done. and the worst tragedy of it is that the bruce dick knows from childhood#is not the bruce he knows in adulthood. they are from the same person. but they are still different#because there are things dick is allowed to see as an adult that bruce spared him from when he was a child#and on one hand that was the right thing to do. but on the other hand it's devastating. because dick obv doesn't know how to cope#how do you cope with the fact that your decade-long idol is not in fact what you made him up to be#(and the thing is it's not that bruce isn't what dick made him up to be) (it's that he's also other things)#(he's sad. he's guilty. he's exhausted. sometimes he doesn't know how to go on)#reconciling with those realities should be unbearable for dick. because being robin has given him so much purpose#and while being batman gives bruce purpose too there are also so many times where he absolutely bends under the weight of it#and that sight should be frightening to dick#that's why i really like knightfall. or the potential of it because i mean prodigal did not deal with the aftermath of it#in a way that i liked at all. it was quite underwhelming#and then you guys obv know my issues with the framing of dick's reaction to jason's death and his conversation with bruce there#but the idea of dick needing to cope with bruce being a human capable of breaking under his own imposed duties is impt#and so my reading of their relationship is less about things written explicitly in text and more about drawing logical inferences#idk. i feel like i am all over the place i'm not sure if this sufficiently answers your question i'm sorryjgfkldghf#outbox
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anyways seeing Duncan still with the Schism at the end left me like ā¹ļø
#like logically i know duncan wouldnt have had a change of heart after we defeated him right#like i know he wouldnt have just went āoh you know what youre so right let me become a good person immediatelyā#but seeing him still within the literal cult that manipulated and took advantage of him when he was still a young kid is so sad and gross#like. gretta darkkettle was also there with him like bitch. step away from him#DUNCAN NEEDS TO GOOOOOO BRO he needs to break away from all that shit and heal#i know the āgood ending where duncan faces the consequences for his actions then leaves to discover himselfā is my personal hc but......#will duncan ever get a good ending in canon. like im not saying he should be in jail for 90 years or anything but i wanna see some growth#IDK suprisingly duncan has a soft spot in my heart (places him gently next to morganthe and gf spider)#maybe just because i can sorta relate to him HAKSBDISLWJU but still yall. i want him AWAY from the schism shit#he should not still be with the group who encourages his harmful behaviors and his hateful emotions#anyways fuck gretta#WAIT WAS THE SCHISM SOLDIER THERE EITH EVERYBODY ELSE OR DID HE STRAIGHT UP JUST LEAVE LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#wallaru spoilers#wizard101 spoilers#duncan grimater
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can my history teacher please shut the fuck up i get itās a college class!! i get that! you donāt need to keep telling me iām gonna fail!!
#the same thing happened when i took ap world except that teacher ended up actually being really good#this guy just wonāt shut up about how iām gonna be āput on academic probation no matter what college i attendā#like okay? your class is only relevant if iām gonna stay in new york#idk i think thatās how these credits work#iām so gonna end up nkt okay this year jus preparing yāall now#we got two college history college spanish college physics and the rest of my core claaaes are all honors#and iām taking two art classes and choir every other day because thatās the only way that fit in my schedule#with no lunch or study hall save for every other day for the latter#and if i do get to eat itās gonna be at 7 in the morning every other day#yippee!!#i did this to myself i have no right to be bitching#idk iām not gonna take the deep dive into why i did this to myself#least ill have enough creds to graduate lmfao#also science counts as an elective for me since in ny you only need 3 science creds to graduate and i have all 3#idk why iām doing this#the outsiders will be my reward#for getting through a month and a half of this shit#i have no right to be complaining that isnāt that hard of a schedule#anyway!#alaskaās bitching#it just bugs me when he says iām gonna be out on academic probation like yes colleges will see i got a b in college history in my junior#<year and crucify me on campus#totally logical#regents
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
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"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks š„²#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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daigo promoting mine to junior assistant early on was INSANE. i know people were spreading rumors cuz id be pretty salty like whatās so special abt this mine guy and whatās with this daigo favoritism!!!!!
daigos not even trying to be subtle about how fond he was of mine he's giving him The Most Public promotions possible šš
#snap chats#going out to drink with him is one thing like daigo probably does that with a lot of tojo men to get to know them yk W/E#the promotions just really add to it all#like if theres any reason why people expect mine to like daigo its because daigo keeps doing grandiose things for this guy ššš#so LOGICALLY ...... a dude would really like a guy looking after him like that ... and theyre right š#i think id throw up if i was a tojo guy and happened to visit the same bar daigo and mine go to#and saw The Special Bottle on the counter and asked bout it and this bartender just hit me with the#'oh no this is the chairmans :) hes saving it for something special' like id be squinting so loud#since when did daigo have things to look forward to ...... i see you chairman.. .....#that just reminded me i wanna make a comic ver of that rggo story but i always say that about everything and i never do it#im truly awful ...
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soulless sam was at his best when he was still being written as a version of sam, to accentuate parts of him that normally get held back, and not as 'guess he's evil now'. soulless sam when he's reflecting sam's tendency to lose sight of everything else in pursuit of a goal. soulless sam when he's just kind of rude without thinking about it without his filter on. soulless sam when he's equal parts intent on keeping dean with him and also happy to lie to him and keep him shut out of the things he knows dean won't like so that dean won't leave. soulless sam when he equally recognizes that he is a better hunter now, and also that he probably can't continue to exist without his soul. (you know. before they went along with making him just kind of evil.)
...soulless sam when he's begging for literally anyone to acknowledge his autonomy in this situation and not force him to take his soul back without knowing how much it could damage him and being ignored.
#i have normal thoughts about this man#i love the soulless sam arc actually until it nosedives#i love how it gives us a new lens to examine sam through#i love that soulless sam isn't even really! malicious! he's just exactly what he says: a better hunter!#like the most Bad thing he does is inarguably dean vampire transformation#but id point out that. that gives us even more fascinating stuff to analyze about him#like for one. sam knows not only About the cure but about how dean can't drink blood for it to work. right?#so what can we deduce from this: 1) he is not arbitrarily risking his brother. he is making from his pov the most logical decisions to kill#the vamps they're after. and 2) soulless sam without a doubt believes that dean will resist drinking blood. because otherwise the cure won'#work on him. and you can say 'well he doesn't have a connection to dean because soulless reasons' but. i mean. that's false. clearly.#even if all it is is leftover feelings of responsibility towards dean and familiarity and knowing that dean's a good hunter.#that's still a connection! dean *does* matter to him! and soulless sam believes he wont go for blood. that dean can't.#(sidenote if dean did? i dont think soulless would have killed him. this is sam & dean we're talking about.#soul or not. vampire or not. sam is keeping him around.)#anyway the point of this is that soulless sam is both Very Simple to understand and Very Complex when you get into the details of it#but on the basic level he is just sam's drive to hunt unattached from morality. he is just a better hunter.#i like that characterization far better than 'he is evil and wants to do murder and bad things'#oh and also he fucks people's wives. he's fun like that.#soulless!sam#spn#sam winchester
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like. youāre telling me that someone who was, for all she knew most of her life, abandoned on the side of a road, left to grow up and be raised in the foster system, bounced around families and group homes of which some couldāve been good ( only to then also abandon her ) but also some of them couldāve been not good ( hello childhood trauma! ) who then made the difficult and selfless decision to give up her unborn child to said system knowing she was in no place to raise a baby let alone ready to be a mother herself. youāre telling me that she sees and knows that her child was loved and cared for and raised in the best possible environment, given everything she was never given as a child, and she somehow thinks she deserves to take him and call herself his mom? seriously? yes, reginaās a psychopathic bitch with homicidal tendencies but she would also do anything for henry and what, emmaās not supposed to see that? sheās not supposed to actually be relieved that her child has someone in his life who is that capable of protecting him? iām- i donāt Understaaaaaaand!
#* ā° Ā¹ / ' reign.#* ā° Ā¹ / ' delete.#did regina make mistakes with henry?#yes#of course she did#but no one can say she doesnāt love him#and she didnāt raise him right#that he wasnāt loved#emma is literally the Best person to recognise that#but canon said fuck adoption and fuck adoptive rights#and fuck logic#IT MAKES NO SENSE OK#( seriously someone stop me iām entering rant territory )#(( this is also why i canāt and wonāt ship them#among other reasons but especially this ))#iām going to forget i posted all this#iāll look in the morning and be like oh noooooo
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Man I just give up.
#dora daily#if only there was a way to just stop everything#idk if I want to die but I want everything to stop#like so many times I go out or smth and something bad happens#or I get triggered in public and I try so hard not to lose myself and start drama in public but I just canāt#every time I show any emotion people start laughing#I canāt even try to stop myself from bawling in the middle of the store without someone#just being so insensitive and rude and diminishing how I feel#you know I say Iām never mad and that is true bc I may seem mad a lot online but Iām not like this irl#but for the first time I actually got mad at someone irl and I was literally gonna beat him#I was genuinely seething so bad itās not fair and things keep getting worse and worse#I was so close to just throwing this stupid phone and shattering it and ripping up those dumbass#birthday cards they sell in the store#and that stupid bitch of a sister I have is so fucking stupid#she sees someone anxious and incredibly upset and she acts like that ? fuck her#like bro idek how I have lived for this long and idek why I donāt go and just overdose on SOMETHING right now because#logically speaking I should just give up#but I donāt know why I canāt#like please my life is literal shit okay is replying on time so hard for you to fucking do so I donāt go even more insane fuck all of youuuu#UGHHHDJSOS#I SWEAR TO GOD I am so sick of this just you all wait#none of you deserve normal treatment all you deserve is something even worse than ghosting#just you wait let this stupid semester end and Iāll deactivate my socials go speak to the fucking wall you morons#you think Iām gonna wait around what are you paying me to be here ? if anything IM paying with my sanity#like if this was related to a spouse who was a billionaire but he was treating me as shittily as you guys treat me then Iāll say fine#at least Iām getting something out of this transaction who gives a fuck#but im not getting paid#im not receiving support#Iām getting laughed at and ignored#and used only at YOUR CONVENIENCE !!! what the FUCK ! I donāt exist for anyone and certainly not yall even if I did.
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