#and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but

[designernishiki]

just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

[mcytcares]

Hiiiii, how are you?

Can you maybe do a OSMP Techno with wolf reader?

Have a good day/nighy

sure thing, anon! i did a short one-shot for this, if that's ok! fun fact: the google doc name for this is "bunnyblade and the big, not-so-bad, wolf". hope you're having a good day!!

OSMP TECHNOBLADE AND WOLF READER

Type - One-shot

Platonic

Origins SMP

Note - This involves the OSMP character only. Also this is written with a gender neutral reader in mind :]

Warnings - N/A

Word Count - 947

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You stalk amongst the low, apple-burdened branches of the orchard trees. The shade lets you cool down from the sweltering summer heat, beating down in a shimmering haze. You keep yourself low as you move listlessly between the trees, ears pricked warily. If one were to see you like this, they'd think you were dangerous- stalking prey. In truth, you were more like a sheep in wolf's clothing. Your wolf hybrid lineage passed onto you heightened senses, as well as wolf ears and a tail, and sharp teeth fit for eating meat. You were more than your frightening appearance however- a kindly forager who enjoyed dark furs, the smell of pine trees, and cooking. You only hunted when you needed to- arrows piercing through the air to fire upon a stray buck or an unsuspecting rabbit.

Unsuspecting rabbit, your mind echoed. You watched through the foliage as Technoblade- the bunny hybrid-turned-farmer- dug his trowel into the dirt. He sprinkled carrot seeds into a row of shallow holes, set on planting and nothing else. Off to his side, a basket of carrots. A bountiful harvest. He turned his back to you, bending down to place dirt back over the seeds. You inched closer, ever curious. While you've never formally interacted with the bunny hybrid, you admired his diligence to his work. He seemed to enjoy it, even, looking proudly upon the rows of newly planted carrots. You've never been a farmer- disinterest in vegetables and most fruits lended to that. However, that didn't mean you weren't interested in how exactly the process happened. Technoblade seems to take to farming as easy as breathing. Like it was his whole life. You guessed it was- you'd come by a few times and he was always there, planting carrots.

You didn't want to seem creepy, snooping around- not at all! You were simply just too shy and awkward to approach. The farmer seemed so absorbed in his work, you didn't want to bother him. Still, curiosity tempts the cat- or the wolf, technically- and the cat gives in to curiosity.

One more step, and a branch shudders and snaps underfoot. It makes you pause, shoulders tensing up to your chin. Technoblade stills, caught in the motion of digging. His ears twitch and swivel, trying to capture the source of the noise. You hold your breath, suddenly anxious. You shouldn't be afraid- you know you really have no reason to- but you are. After all, you're about to be caught sneaking around Technoblade's farm!

He half turns, eyeing the tree line. "I know you're there," he says, steady voice breaking the silence. Sheepishly, you step out of the shade and into the sun.

"Hello," you greet, voice hushed and warbling, "sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I was just, ah, watching you work!" You're sweating because of the heat. Totally.

Technoblade gives you a dubious look, one eyebrow raising. It's like he can see right through you!

"I don't- I mean-" You scramble to save yourself from your own awkwardness, "I really like your work ethic! It's admirable! And I was interested in learning how to farm." That's not necessarily true, but if it would get you in his good graces, then you were going to ride this train to the end.

He turns to you fully, tugging at the straw hat atop his head. Your eyes connect and— wow, his eyes are intense. You find yourself unable to look away as he mulls over your words, rocking his weight on one leg. His hands and knees are muddied with dirt, appropriate for a farmer. He wipes one hand on his overalls, using it to tap his chin in thought.

"Hrmm… well, I suppose that's not such a bad compliment. But flattery isn't gettin' you anywhere, 'specially if you want any of these carrots." He looks possessively back at his carrots, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Huh?" You blurt out. Your hands move on their own, defensively coming up and waving around. "Nnoo, no, no! Really, I do admire your work. And– and…" You trail off.

"And?" The bunny hybrid prompts.

"And I think you're the best farmer– ever–! I want to learn from you!" You exclaim.

Technoblade looks at you. And laughs.

It's this low, rumbling chuckle that crescendos into a near cackle. You're left stupefied as he thumps his foot on the ground, getting all the giggles out.

When he's finally done, he looks up at you, a half-smile on his lips. "'Course I'm the best farmer ever," he says, "I'm one of the only farmers around. Nobody's got me beat when it comes to farming. But… If you really wanna learn…"

Techno walks over to a basket full of carrots, still sprinkled with dirt, fresh from the ground. He plucks one out, breaks off a half, and proffers it to you.

"Consider this my metaphorical olive branch," he rumbles. His eyes, you notice, are a carmine red made vibrant in the light of the sun. "Show of good will an' all. I'll teach you, and you stop snoopin' around here."

You take it, slowly, hesitantly, turning it over in your hand. Just a regular old carrot.

"Promise you'll teach me?" You ask.

"Promise," Techno replies.

You take a bite. Crunch.

Techno smiles.

[husbandohunter]

A Small Predicament [Baby Genshin x Reader]

Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo

Synopsis: Cursed for a week, the boys either have to live with it or find a cure as soon as possible. You on the otherhand hoped otherwise.

(A/n): It only takes ONE glance for me to start having ideas. It was twelve in the morning yall, enjoy~

Oh here's part 2

--------

Scaramouche

• "Oh you shrank? I couldn't tell-"

• Threatens that he will murder you to pieces and burn your remains but his voice was so squeaky and high pitched (voice crack) that you couldn't help but burst into a tearful laughter. 

• Its payback time  Bully him, take his hat and hover it above his head. Truthfully, without his hat Scaramouche looks like a little schoolboy. Overall less intimidating.

• Tries glaring. Cute. He's really bratty as a kid, sitting on a high chair (which you had to help him get on) and demanding his servants to do his bidding. In reality, his personality never changed. You realized that even as a grown up he still acts like this (bratty kid in a grown man body).

• The curse made his week a living hell. Signora had the audacity to pull his ear when he misbehaves. Childe constantly messes with his hair while giving head pats and the WORST of all, pinching his cheeks. Scaramouche never wanted to commit arson so bad in his life.

• Eventually finds a cure so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore and orders everyone to never speak of it again. Though, he's plotting how he'll get revenge on everyone who made fun of him using the very same curse (You better run).

~~x~~

Diluc

• "Oh…Oh my! Diluc you're just so cute!" 

• Diluc grimaces as you glomp him in this state. How can you help it? With his head so small it makes his hair all the more fluffier! His coat no longer fits him to the point the sleeves had made past his fingertips. He tried wielding his claymore again, only to lose balance and fall flat onto his bum

• (insert kid voice "Retribution!") Did I mention the babyface?

• Diluc tries to act as if everything was normal, acting like the Darknight hero and Mondstadt's Tycoon but fun-sized. He couldn't. There was no way people would take him seriously in business meetings. Same with fighting abyss mages, his smaller form was too much of a disadvantage. Thus you ended up doing most of his paperwork.

• One time you caught him sitting on the floor couldn't reach his office desk  while reading away the various books for a cure. It was three in the morning. You told him it was way past his bedtime and he argues saying when did he ever have a curfew schedule. In the end you managed to convince him and he begrudgingly obliges.

• The type to NOT ask for help even when it's obvious that he really needs it. Before he was the one who helped you reach things from the top shelves, oh how the tables have turned. He avoids Kaeya like a plague unless he was in it for another round of funny remarks. When he wanted to go out and get some fresh air, you insisted on accompanying him. Worst mistake in his life. A travelling merchant bumps into you and commented that you had a very cute son. Diluc was mortified.

• The day ended up with him sulking in his room. Although it was tempting, you resisted from cooing over his adorable form after days of treating him like a child. It wasn't because you were teasing him, Diluc just works so hard that you wanted to spoil him a bit. At least he could still play a game of chess with you.

• When things went back to normal, Diluc ensures that you will NOT see him as your son.

~~x~~

Kaeya

• "Well look who it is, my little Prince Kaeya~"

• Tries really hard not be bothered by it at all. Kaeya still maintains his suave facade, throwing in a couple of flirting lines here and there (and forcing his voice to go a few octaves too low in which puberty has yet to occur HA). Though no matter what approach, he couldn't ignore the sparkling mischievious glint in your eye. You were obviously not taking him seriously.

• Things couldn't get any worse. He lost his masculine physique and boob window, he wasn't able to go to certain places without supervision. But the worst thing of all was that he was underaged. Kaeya hated the fact he couldn't drink anymore, he even insisted you to sneak him a few bottles (which you refused) and had to settle with plain beverages such as fruit juice (what an insult). He was never really grounded since his childhood days but he certainly felt like he was grounded now. 

• Kaeya still kisses you on the lips whether you like it or not. If you ask him to sit on your lap, he will find a way to turn the position into his favour such as resting his face between your breasts. You're not gonna treat him like a kid, nuh-uh, he actively avoids it.

• Since his personality still remains, Kaeya is a naughty child. He will use his innocent appearance to sway people (even you) to get what he wants. That was how he was able to take a sip of the wine he stole somewhere (he wouldn't tell you). Diluc scolded him heavily and threatened to ban him from drinking from his Tavern for a week (they ended up arguing, Kaeya being the passive aggressive little shit he is).

• He was extremely relieved to return back to his normal form again. He has so much to catch up (specifically his bedtime activities with you *wink wonk*)

~~x~~

Child(e)

• "Hmmm to be honest, this actually suits you very much."

• Unlike the other boys, Childe was completely okay with it. Turns out that YOU were the one who was not going to be okay. If you thought taking care of Teucer was energy-draining then expect Childe to take that tenfold and beyond.

• You've officially became his full-time babysitter who is in desperate need of a raise (and rest). You can't take your eyes off of him and archons forbid that he will ever meet Klee. One point he'll be running ahead by your side and the next you'll find him getting himself in a 1vs7 situation with some shady looking treasure hoarders. Childe genuinely thinks he could take them on but the curse downgraded his abilities. You carried him and barely made out of it alive. (This made you ponder whether the best solution would be to strap him against a chair for the time being…)

• Childe being a child will eat all the candies and ice cream he pleases. You wonder if the curse also turned him a few years back or was it that he acts like this simply because he wanted to (it was the latter). He loves being spoiled, spoiled by you! Childe demands your full attention, spoon-feeding his meals, back rubs and head pats. Yep, he's definitely doing this on purpose.

• Did he just call you 'mommy'? (Childe has mommy kink confirmed).  He has so much energy that it was exhausting, you literally had to drag him away from what ever he was doing in order to get him to bed. "No Childe, your sleeping time is 9p.m stop whining." He bargained that he'll sleep if you sleep beside him (you didn't get any sleep. You knew what he was planning. In the end, you tried to make sure he didn't sneak out behind your back.)

• Finally you were able to get out of that hell-hole. Childe promised to make it up to you, you deserve it after all~

~~x~~

Small (aka Xiao)

• "Did you know in the Liyuean language, Xiao translates to small?" You didn't say that out loud. Not when he's this angry (this angy)

• He just stands there, crossing his arms and grumbling. You were hesitant to touch him in case he might hiss at you. Xiao has always been short, maybe an inch taller than you, but seeing him like this made you think 'my almighty yaksha can't be this cute♡'

• He gets mad when you no longer call his name for help. How could you? He's just so precious~ Xiao makes it clear that no matter what form he takes, it doesn't make him weak ("Adepti and you mortals are nothing alike." Or so he says but you could tell he wasn't running as fast as he used to because…small legs). You may not comment on it aloud but he can tell just by the look on your face and it irritates him.

• Also the type to not ask for help but worse. Xiao is an agressive little kid, he seems as if he'll be willing to bite someone's finger off if they try to pet him (He gives strong cat vibes, so thats understandable). His spear was too big for him to wield so he often has to put it away or else he might knock someone over with it. Xiao hates being short so you'll be hearing him complain alot.

• Since he was an adepti, he didn't need to sleep however, the curse must have brought down his power by a significant amount to the point you DID catch him napping. You almost swooned out loud just by taking a glance upon his face. For once he didn't wear his signature grumpy look. Xiao appears like a normal child, one full of innocence. His snoring was soft and breathly but that just meant he was deep asleep. (You wished to take a picture). 

• Of course, everything had to come to an end (much to your disappointment), he still complains about the incident to this day.

~~x~~

Zhongli

• How is it possible for a baby to still look so handsome? (Must be his godly abilities)

• Zhongli is unfazed by this 'curse' since his past lives have already taken many forms. Though for some reason whenever he walks down the streets of Liyue, young girls, mothers, ladies all come him was and start complimenting him and gushing over him (he was suffocating). They'd squeeze him tight or squish his cheeks, it only takes once glance before the little girls start blushing and hiding behind their moms.

• Needless to say, despite what form he is in, Zhongli is still able to get free stuff. He got some free candies and some free kites to play with. You had to help him carry his items. Zhongli ends up tripping too much because his tailcoat reached his feet (he decided to just take it off. You had to hold that too). Seems like he can have anyone do things for him in the end HA.

• He still got that drippy voice and you're just like ???? "What on Teyvat Zhongli, you're a kid." This is why you can't see him as one, its nearly impossible.

• Actively avoids Hu Tao and Childe. Once Hu Tao caught sight of him and chased him for hours, he couldn't stay in one spot knowing that she might just pop out of no where. Childe still spoils him, however Zhongli feels irritated by the fact the only things Childe buys him toys (its different when other people do it.)

• Everytime you guys go back strolling through Liyue, you had to hold his hand in case more women come swarming hin again. You swear that at this rate he might get kidnapped because hes just such a beautiful baby.

• Zhongli learned an important lesson after his curse was lifted: no matter how many years he lives throughout  never take a form of a child.

~~x~~

Albedo

• You find him buried beneath a pile of books and had to dig him out before he suffocates.

• Albedo has the cutest eyes, they're big and round full of curiosity and they sparkle too (he has the prettiest eyes out of everyone tbh). He is the only person who is fascinated by this outcome and immediately goes in the wild to test out his new physique. 

• He was always curious why Klee T-poses when she runs so he decided to try it out himself. She was thrilled to find out that she now has a little brother to play with. In the end, Albedo indulges in the games she always wanted to play but couldn't because he was too old: princess dress up tea parties.

• You felt many things when you saw Albedo wearing a frilly gown and a plastic tiara tucked on his head. Deep down you knew regardless of what gender Albedo was still pretty. Klee even had the guts to redo his hair and hardly anyone was able to recognize it was him at all. He has pigtails, PIGTAILS! You made sure to burn that image into the very depths of your mind forever.

• The only advantage was the he was ablw to fit through small spaces, other than that, being small was way too inconvenient. He knocked down a few of his potion bottles which damaged the floor (thankfully not him) because they were lethal (he wonders how Klee was able to not injure herself when using bombs). You carried him and lifted him to alot of places such as trudging through the snow because Albedo would surely fall on his face due to his small form.

• Enough was enough, he only lasted a day with this and decided to just make a potion and put an end to the curse once and for all. 

[kekoma]

— hanamaki as your boyfriend.

hands belong in pockets, not in your pants unless you’re him. hope you enjoy.

hanamaki hours has now entered the chambers.

such an amazing man. would do many things for him, but you didn’t come here to know that.

you came here to see how life is like dating hiro, yeah? so let’s get into.

how you two ended up dating isn’t munch of a mystery.

makki  had s personality that attracts all kind of people without even trying so it wasn’t a surprise when he had been able to lure you in as well.

as for when he realized that he actually liked you was when mattsun had pointed out how much he spoke you to him. 

and he also picked up the fact that he started flirting with you more than before too yet it no longer had that playful feel around it— hiro was serious about wooing you over.

pretty sure he was the one to make the move on you. he isn’t someone that is shy so when he asked you if you would go to the amusement park with him— that’s when he became a bolder.

“how are you enjoying our date so far?”

“it’s actually amazing~ can we... huh? wait... our date?”

“well yeah. this is our first official date. heh i suppose this is my chance to confess to you now.”

everything went smoothly. he was quite confident that you’ll say yes since makki made time to learn everything about you and paid close attention to any and every small behavior along side gestures you revealed.

not much to really go on about so i’ll hop right into the actual stuff.

i’ve mentioned it before with issei so it’s only right i’ll mention it here too since takahiro gives off the same energy.

you two are DEFINITELY the kind of couple who jokes around about breaking up over the strangest things and it’ll be at random times too.

“my guy... who cuts your hair?”

“huh? what are you talking about cutie?”

“i can’t help but realize that your hair reminds me of an upside skate ramp. who are you paying because baby...”

“so i see you woke up and choose violence today... you know, i didn’t come to get roasted. i came here to love you y/n and this is what i get?”

“hold up! stay right there. i’m gonna go find my tech deck and do a few tricks.”

“i- yeah let’s break up. my lawyers will call yours and i’m taking the kids too. can’t believe i’m bullied right now.”

vv dramatic but it doesn’t bother you since you go along with his ways.

being serious? is considered rare within the relationship.

however, when it does occur then hiro can be deapan.

which i will take the time to discuss arguments with him briefly.

again, it’s something rare since the relationship is mainly playful and uplifting each other.

yet when you two get pretty heated, it can go two (2) ways.

a) he’ll opt for the silent treatment since he could say some really foul things that could possibly hurt you to the max and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. may even go as far to put a little more distance between you two so he can calm down and approach you in a better manner.

b) actually voices how he feels about towards the situation at hand and will probably sound extremely venomous when doing so. his main goal when speaking is getting his point across if you dismissed it and/or made it seem like he’s in the wrong.

up to you on how you would like to view his way of approaching arguments though.

but if you want to make it up to him then give makki space for a while before apologizing. also make sure the apology is honest because HE WILL know if you’re lying and if he catches you then it’s back to square one...

with that out the way, let’s return.

DEFINITELY is an supportive boyfriend that likes helping you grow as a person and reach your goals. since you do the same for him, it’s only fair plus he likes seeing the smile on your face once something is accomplished.

although he already has you— makki will still flirt with you. it’s just more cheesier.

“damn babe. is your father a priest because i’m feeling blessed when i’m with you.”

“shut up before i eat your food.”

“ooh~ that’s hot. guess your dad isn’t one. perhaps i’m dancing with the devil because you’re hot as hell.”

“... takahiro. sir please. stop.”

“okay okay but i think you should see this.” proceeds to shove his phone in your face, the front camera on to reveal you on the screen, “this is the prettiest person i’ve ever met.”

“you’re lucky you’re cute and that i love you.”

definitely does the hand in his pants thing in your house and in his (ofc).

even if they have pockets or you call him out for it, it’s just an automatic for him so you gotta accept it.

besides that, if you’re someone that LOVES to bake or occasionally bakes— best believe he’s the first to taste it all.

extra points to you if you make cream puffs.

is most definitely the kind of boyfriend who invest in matching items. clothing, jewelry, phone case, and etc. he finds the concept cute to be honest.

if you’re lucky enough, he’ll let you buy matching hair clips (something cute like Sanrio, fruits, animals or etc.) and lets you put them in his hair.

won’t compain if it seems extremely girly/cutesy. instead makki will take a bunch of pictures and post a few on his sns about how you two are matching.

also loves to make it known he has the most divine girlfriend in the world. dude is proud to be your boyfriend so ofc he’s gonna show off.

nicknames? yeah yeah nicknames real quick.

top ones for you are 🥁🥁 babe/baby, beautiful, cutie and lover girl occasionally makes it’s way around.

something a little extra: hiro will even call you his doll sometimes but its only brought up at random times. 

moving onto pda since it’ll also be a bit brief.

in love with PDA when it comes to you. 

although he tones it down when you two are in public so of course you get the basics, but something he’ll always do is wrap his arm around you or constantly interlock his fingers with both combined hands on his thigh.

as for private, it’s not as filtered. would say he’s a bit more touchy but i must advise... don’t keep your back turned to him for long because makki will use the opportunity to either smack or grab your ass while saying “i like your cut g.”

... can’t convince me he doesn’t do that. rip y/n’s ass.

last but not least— dates!

don’t think hanamaki is picky about what kind of dates you two go on.

but most dates are chaotic in a way. will deadass text you in the middle of the night or show up to your place be like “wanna film dance vids in a parking lot? or like walk around and eat good street food.” and you just gotta go with it.

however, when they aren’t that way or involving outside then some dates consist of staying indoors. probably baking together, watching a bunch of movies, doing his makeup and etc.

overall: 10/10

best relationship with constant fun <3 we love it here.

and that’s where i end this bc makki do be breaking my brain.

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[jadekitty777]

On Your Six, Chapter 5

Day 5: Mission Go- Cooking for @taiqrowweek

Wait what do you mean I switched the prompt days around? Dunno what you’re talking about ;)

(Don’t worry it’ll make more sense in the long run)

Rating: T for this chapter, M for overall

Words: 2.5k

Summary: Qrow was what most of society would call a small-town criminal. But to those oppressed, he hoped only to be a healer. In an effort to make a change in the world, he moves from kingdom to kingdom, searching for branded omegas in need. His goal? To turn the derogatory words the reformatories forced them to bear on their skin into works of art.

Then one day, his past catches up to him in the form of Taiyang, his former best friend, with a brand of his own stained onto his skin and a plea for help in his eyes. Qrow has no choice but to answer, even if it means he’d have to face his mistakes once and for all.

[An ABO-style universe in a modern-day style Remnant. No Grimm, because people are the real monsters in this one]

Ao3 Link: On Your Sleeve

~

Tai had started feeding him.

At first, it had begun with little things, shortly following that fateful day he gave him the picture. Prepackaged snacks or fresh fruits or vegetables as a healthy addition to the cheap, instant lunch meals he could easily afford. Then it quickly dissolved into tubberware covered leftovers of various pastas or stews, things that kept well and were well adept at making in large servings.

By late May, with the advent of Qrow’s twenty-sixth birthday, Tai arrived at his place loaded with grocery bags, a proper skillet and a determined purpose to make his favorite dish of chicken curry. It was, hands down, one of the best meals he’d had in years.

Yet, even after the occasion passed, the trend continued until it seemed Sunday became the day his stomach most looked forward too. Normally, Qrow would put up a fight about being doted after – Tai wouldn’t be the first omega to develop the habit. The most prominent of whom had been Maria, whose sessions had to be shorter than most both due to her age and the difficulty working with thinner, more wrinkled skin.

But she had also been a grandmother. A feisty one, who smacked him on the head a lot with her cane, but was also kind and worried and constantly remarking on his too-thin frame until he just gave up and let her do whatever she wanted.

But with Tai, he couldn’t even manage to feign annoyance. In part because Tai’s cooking was damn good and he’d be a fool not to gobble it up at every opportunity. But also, because it gave an excuse for their sessions to run long.

He didn’t even think it was a one-sided endeavor. Beyond the innate omega instinct to care for and Tai’s naturally generous personality, there was a loneliness in those blue eyes that told the truth behind all the fumbled attempts to waste time or make breaks run longer. By July, Tai wasn’t leaving his place until at least ten at night.

Neither of them complained about the arrangement.

Then August rolled around, and Qrow had an absolutely foolish idea.

The first Sunday of the month was on the 5th and it passed with little incident or notice. They were back at the first of the designs, arguably the most complex with the amount of color layers needed, so their dinner was nothing fancy. Just simple sandwiches and side salads, so most of their time could be spent under the needle instead.

He’d banked on that happening so that what would happen next wouldn’t have a chance of paling in comparison.

You busy tonight? He messaged early Wednesday.

Tai responded a few hours later, probably when his first break popped up. No. Why?

Come over after work. I have something to give you. He replied after he’d finished with his client for the day, sometime early afternoon.

The final response was cheeky and towards the end of the school day. You’re about as subtle as a brick.

Almost at 6 P.M. on the dot, there was a knock on his door.

“Coming!” Qrow called, dancing between the kitchen and the table to make sure everything was perfectly in place. He gave it all a satisfactory nod, then hurried over, sliding the door open only enough so he could wedge between it and the threshold, blocking Tai’s view.

The omega looked different, fresh out of work. His blond hair had been lightly gelled, just enough to give it a bit of bounce. The casual wear he was normally in was swapped out for a more professional look; pants and a collared shirt ironed of any wrinkles and shoes shined enough they gleamed.

So of course his eyes fell onto the one thing that completely ruined the look with a teasing snort. “Nice tie, Tai.”

“You like it?” He grinned, pulling at the absolutely hideous yellow abomination that was covered in yapping cartoon corgis. “The kids love ‘em. They call me the Funny Tie Guy.”

Oh Gods. “Bet you get a kick out of it every time.”

“I literally can knot get enough of it.” Tai had the nerve to wink as he said it too.

Qrow groaned. “You are so lucky it’s your day. Speaking of-” He swung the door open, revealing the room with a flourish.

Admittedly, it wasn’t much. Still, it was satisfying to see the way Tai’s face lit up with joy as he spotted the modest little table set for two, dinner already set in their bowls and the most expensive white wine he could reasonably afford already poured. The omega looked from it to him, grin growing, “You did all this?”

“Yeaaah.” Qrow flushed, trying to hide his anxiety. He’d never been great with giving gifts. “Happy birthday ya big lug.”

Tai laughed, throwing an arm over his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. “Thank you. This is just what I wanted.”

He could have stayed there forever – but he didn’t work himself to death to let dinner go cold. He pat his back, mindful of the healing wounds, and said, “Let’s eat.”

Qrow’s relationship with cooking was disjointed and the spread seemed to reflect that. The fried rice was perfect; it was one of the first things his mother taught him how to make on the stove. The garlic broccoli, more of a staple in the Xiao Long family, had a bit of crunch where some of the pieces hadn’t fully cooked through because he hadn’t had Tai beside him to remind him to stir. Just like the many other easy things he helped him learn how to make when he found out he and Raven had been living off nothing but white rice and peanut butter sandwiches for months.

The moo shu pork was the trickiest and most complicated dish by far and nothing he’d ever even attempted before. His amateur hand left it looking a bit of a mess as they poured it onto the tortillas. Unpretty as it was in presentation and lacking a few of the pricier ingredients like oyster sauce and sesame oil, the marinade had the pork still bursting with flavor.  

The wine was there to act as a garnish to make the food seem better than it was. Which was probably why Qrow kept pouring it until he and Tai had split two and a half glasses between each other. Either that, or because Tai was adorably chatty when he was tipsy.

“So, there we are, watching about thirty of these Fayblades spinning around, knocking into each other and some of the cheaper ones are falling apart. Everything is going too fast for any of us to do the math problems on them. And Missy and I just look at each other like we both just realized what a horrible mistake we made. It was only the first week back and I was pretty sure we were about to lose an eye or something.” As he told the story, Tai animatedly gestured around with his glass, liquid sloshing almost past the rim. “We get the kids to back up until they all stop. Then Missy starts gathering a few up, saying how this time we would try less so we can actually keep count – when Velvet speaks up from the back and says ‘Blue wins 124 to 90’.”

Qrow polished off his own glass, setting it on the table. “That’s the quiet one with the rabbit in her bag, right?”

“Mmhmm. She kind of tries to hide when everyone starts looking at her, so I don’t say anything right then. Just take it as fact and move on. But when recess comes around, I pull her aside and ask her how she knew the answer. And she tells me, completely serious mind you, that she’s a camera. So it was easy to do all the math when she basically had the pictures saved in her head. And I’m like, holy shit!” He taps his temple for emphasis. “She has a photographic memory.”

“Ain’t that just a myth?” He asked, starting to gather the empty dishes.

Tai waved him off. “Pfft. Qrow, you gotta stop thinking like the world’s just a big science textbook. It’s more like a-a fairytale! Where magic can happen at any moment.”

“Tai, you’re drunk.”

“I am not!” This time, when he gestured, some of the wine hit the table. He blinked down at it. “Ah, shit!”

He laughed. “Man, you still can’t hold your liquor.”

“You dishonor me.” The omega accused, pointing to his right hand as if it were an exhibit. “I’m holding it just fine.”

That only made him laugh harder, until he had to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes.

~

Somehow, they found themselves laying side by side on the bed, shoulders pressed together. Tai’s scroll was balanced between the head of the bed and the wall, the display playing the finale of their favorite show growing up, Silver Eyes.  It was the height of the final battle. Rosette was locked in battle with Bastinda while the rest of her friends lay, unconscious or ensnared in traps, around them.

“Do you not yet see how pointless this all is? How my power eclipses you all?” Bastinda snarled as she swung her wand down. “You’re all just insignificant riffraff!”

Rosette seemed to find some strength, blocking the attack with her broadsword. “You’re wrong! No one is insignificant! Even the smallest of us has something good to contribute.”

“Foolish child!” A powerful gravity spell threw Rosette to the ground, knocking her sword out of her hand.

“Gods,” Qrow griped. “This is cheesier than I remember.”

Tai shushed him. “Hush, the best part’s coming up!”

He rolled his eyes, but his traitorous mouth smiled all the same. Alright, so maybe this part was pretty hype. Watching it play out again on the screen, he felt ten again, practically glued to screen as his excitement built.

A large shadow stretched across the valley, delaying the witch from striking the final blow as she turned to the source. Up on the hill, sun behind him, was Zwei. Rosette’s little corgi that had been with her from the start of the show. He came racing down the hill, stubby little legs barely able to pick up speed.

Bastinda sneered, pointed her wand at the dog. “Pathetic.”

“Zwei, no!!” Rosette cried, tears filling her eyes just as the blast fired.

It seemed like the end for the lovable pup as smoke filled the air.

And then, with a blast of light, something came flying out of the dust and landing before the witch. The world rumbled under powerful paws as the giant white wolf stood before her, letting out a powerful growl that brought her to her knees.

“I don’t believe it!” Blanca cried from her mirror prison. “Zwei’s a Guardian!”

The rest of the finale played out just as he remembered, Zwei turning the tide of the fight and giving Rosette a chance to free her friends, all of them coming together for one final attack that rid the world of the cruel witch once and for all. After that, the wolf turned back into the lovable and more marketable corgi pup, and everyone headed home to enjoy true peace for the first time in a millennium.

Tai sat up as the credits began to roll, stretching his arms above his head. “I still think it holds up pretty well.”

“Sure, if you ignore the fact they completely sidelined Silver Eyes. It’s only the title of the show.” He snarked.

“Come on now. It’s not about the power ups. It’s about the journey and the-”

“Friends they made alone the way.” He mimed gagging. It was only the motto shoved down his throat at the end of almost every episode.

Tai merely laughed at his antics, picking up his scroll and slipping off the bed. “It’s late. I better head home.”

Maybe it was the vestiges of the alcohol or maybe it was the other’s scent, sweeter and more inviting than usual, that loosened his tongue enough to offer, “You could crash here, if you want.”

“In your bed? We hardly fit.”

Acquiescently, he rolled onto his side, practically shoving himself against the wall as he pat the wide, empty space. “It’ll be fine. And your drunk.”

“Hardly. And I’ll have to get up early to get back home and get ready.”

“It’s fine.” The noise left him involuntarily. It wasn’t a growl, really; it was barely more than a rumble. Regardless, the regret hit him instantly as he bit down on his tongue and turned his face up apologetically.

The omega just arched a brow, entirely unaffected and unimpressed by his pitiful display. Then he chuckled, any meteor-sized tension there could have been burning up long before impact could be made. “Gods, you’re such a punk, you know that?”

“I…uh…”

“Alright, you win.” Tai set the alarm on his scroll with his right hand, while he crossed the room and got the lights with his left. He used the glow coming off of the device to find his way back, dropping it onto the nightstand. In the bits of moonlight coming from the window, Tai became an erotic beauty as he undid his tie and buttons, shrugging out of his shirt. His belt hit the ground next – though mercifully he kept his pants on.

Qrow watched him, utterly transfixed, as he lowed himself to the bed, mattress dipping anew with the readded weight as the omega stretched out onto his stomach. Beyond all comprehension, he had to fight every muscle in his body from reaching for him. The need to bring him close and curl around him was overwhelming. So, he shoved his hands underneath the crook of his neck and locked his elbows.

Why had he thought this was a good idea again?

Tai heaved out a long sigh, mumbling, “Goodnight Qrow.”

He swallowed, voice barely above a whisper as he responded, “G’night.”

Without a clock in the room, there was no telling how long he lay there, coiled up tight like a spring waiting for the pressure to come loose, listening to the sounds of Tai’s breathing slowly evening out. It wasn’t until Qrow was absolutely certain the other wouldn’t wake that he risked it.

Though it felt a bit reprehensible, it was with that same uncontrolled desire in which he found himself scooting his upper half forward, inch by agonizing inch, until the bridge of his nose was pressed up against the curve of Tai’s shoulder.

His eyes slipped shut, breathing in deeply. The omega’s scent swirled around him, sunflowers and soil and bright summer days; a smell that was unmistakably, irrevocably Tai.

Here. With him.

Slowly, the rigidity to his muscles relaxed and he finally drifted off, the scent embracing him as securely as its owner could.

[rukakikuchi]

LOONA theory - Heejin isn’t God of the LOONAverse; she was a fallen angel

One of the most popular theories regarding the LOONAverse is that Heejin is the God and created not only the LOONAverse, but the other girls as her angels. While this is an intriguing idea, since she is the first member of LOONA and her video “ViViD” essentially marks the start of the LOONAverse and their story, I don’t think Heejin is a God.

I mean, would an all-powerful God want to turn themselves into a high school girl and get stuck in an infinite time loop curse?

Okay okay, joking aside, while I found the idea interesting, I personally just see Heejin as a normal girl. However, I have recently been considering a new idea in regards to who Heejin really is.

In my theory about ViVi, I mentioned that her representative color was pastel rose, a shade of pink and an irregular color. Well, Heejin’s representative color is also a shade of pink; bright pink. And we’ve previously tied the colors of the girls to which world they might have originated from. So this got me thinking…

Was Heejin originally from Eden? Or perhaps even Heaven?

Heejin’s story

So we’ve already talked about Heejin’s story in “ViViD” in the context of her character in the LOONAverse, as well as through dream analysis, but now let’s look at it and see what clues we can find to Heejin potentially being from Eden.

We see Heejin working as a servant or housekeeper for a woman in black (played also by Heejin) lamenting her boring, repetitive days and wishing for a life filled with vibrant colors and excitement.

The woman she works for is clearly wealthy from what we can see of the music video. From the colorful mansion to the fancy clothes, there’s an overall feel of elegance and wealth to it. 

And as we know, Eden is meant to be a perfect world, though that “perfection” comes at the cost of personal freedom. And Heejin isn’t happy with the life she’s living. She’s bored of doing the same thing over and over; she wants something new, something different, something that excites her.

She says in her lyrics, “I wish for a new day each day I wake up, I don’t want to become numb towards myself without the light.”

This could’ve led her to the decision to leave Eden. I mentioned before that in the final shot of “ViViD”, she looks out the window as if she senses something. Maybe she felt something calling to her, or a strong desire to go to Earth.

Either way, she finally decided she had enough of her monotonous life in Eden and escaped. But, like we discussed with ViVi if she was originally from Eden, Heejin left without eating a forbidden fruit.

She didn’t become an android, but I think she could’ve lost her memories of Eden completely by the time she arrived on Earth. Or, perhaps like with ViVi’s memories, they were simply altered.

Another “ViViD” story

It’s interesting that Heejin has two versions of her solo song; the original jazzy “ViViD”, and the more laidback acoustic remix.

She didn’t get a second solo song like Kim Lip or Yves, which would’ve continued the pattern of the first member of each subunit getting two solo songs. They specifically gave her two different versions of the same song, similar to ViVi’s solo with “Everyday I Love You” and “Everyday I Need You.”

In fact, the two music videos we got for both versions seem to serve the same purpose as ViVi’s. “Everyday I Love You” showed us a restored though slightly warped version of ViVi’s human memories, while “Everyday I Need You” focused on ViVi in Hong Kong in what we can assume is the present day.

Now what about “ViViD”? Well, while the music video for the original version shows Heejin dreaming of a more exciting, colorful life in luxury, the video for the acoustic mix shows us Heejin on Earth, in Paris.

The footage was actually shot during the photoshoots for Heejin’s single, and most of the sets show Heejin in a gorgeously lavish mansion, wearing fancy clothes and jewelry. 

Moreover, she’s clearly happier, and more free.

Interestingly enough, they actually include a few clips that clearly show the photoshoot going on, with the staff visible, and Heejin talking to the camera. Several of these clips were even used in LOONA TV.

Now, outside the context of the LOONAverse, it’s a cute little montage of behind-the-scenes footage from Heejin’s Paris photoshoot. But what does it mean *within* the context of the LOONAverse?

Are we to assume that the real Jeon Heejin’s life as an idol is at least somewhat shared with her fictional counterpart in the LOONAverse? I wouldn’t say it’d be completely out of the question. After all, in Cinema Theory, there was a special clip called “ViVi’s Letter to Hong Kong” which showed the girls living their lives as idols but also contributed to the lore simultaneously (namely the ending shot of Jinsoul in her outfit from SCL).

It could be possible that Heejin becoming an idol would help her find the other members to gather LOONA, and they use their music to spread their message to other “LOONAs” in order to help them break out of the loop.

Moreover, there’s a shot that shows Heejin on a merry-go-round, perhaps representing her being stuck in the loop.

I also just generally find it intriguing that Heejin’s photoshoot have her in such fancy settings and dresses. Maybe this Heejin’s life is wealthy and luxurious, similar to the life she dreamed of having in Eden, but because she didn’t have the other members around, she could feel deep down that something was missing.

Heejin’s connection to Olivia

It’s been made clear to us that there is a connection between Heejin and Olivia. They’re the first girl and last girl to debut respectively. One girl not only has bright pink as her representative color, but wishes for her life to be full of vivid colors like a rainbow, while the other has silver or black as her representative color. They are day and night, the beginning and the end.

If Heejin was originally from Eden, it would make sense that they’d know each other, just like ViVi’s connection with Yves.

In fact, if you watch the Cinema Theory teaser, Heejin is the only one shot in black and white, holding a black bunny instead of a white one like in her solo video. 

Olivia was just shown as a silhouette, because she hadn’t been revealed yet, but why would they have Heejin, the girl associated with bright vibrant colors like pink, be shown in black and white?

Could it be representing when she was in Eden, and how she saw her life as lacking color? Or maybe it’s her shadow/dreamworld counterpart, something we’ve associated with being shown in black and white in the past. That could also explain why her rabbit is black instead of white; because things become reversed on the flipped side of the Moebius strip.

Okay, now that we’ve discussed one possibility, I’d like to discuss another possibility for Heejin’s true identity.

Heejin, the fallen angel

I’ve already talked about how I believe that the true God of the LOONAverse is a Goddess named “LOONA” and each girl might represent some aspect of her.

Well, I think Heejin might’ve actually been an angel who served under the Goddess, possibly even helping her create the LOONAverse. Like I said earlier, she was seen in “ViViD” as a servant, tasked by her master (who I have also theorized could be the Goddess taking human form to watch over Heejin) to clean the mansion.

Heejin might’ve been in charge of keeping the LOONAverse stable. But remember, Heejin is ambitious, a dreamer, and gets bored easily.

She might goof off every now and then instead of doing her job. She might dream up her own ideas of what she’d want to have in the LOONAverse. And that hubris might’ve gotten the better of her.

There have been a couple of hints that the story of Icarus plays some part in the LOONAverse. We see it referenced in Yves’ solo song... 

And there was also a painting of “the fall of Icarus” depicted in the mansion where yyxy taped their videos.

What if Heejin caused the LOONAverse to become unstable? Maybe she tried to add something into the LOONAverse to make it more exciting, more full of vibrant color, like she would want. However, whatever she did made the world unstable.

I’ve seen a theory that Heejin might’ve been the one to cause the loop the girls are trapped in, and if that were the case, maybe the LOONAverse becoming a Moebius strip was a result of that instability.

Regardless whether or not she did, she might’ve tried to undo her mistake, or even flew down from Heaven in order to try and stop the instability from getting worse.

Eventually, Heejin got caught up in that instability, drowned in the colors as they spread out of control, like we see in the music video. The Goddess likely undid what happened, as we see the colors fading by the end of the video, but it doesn’t completely get rid of the instability. The LOONAverse is now stuck in a Moebius loop, and Heejin is turned into a human girl without her memories as an angel.

It’s also possible that the instability and time loop curse might’ve been caused by an outside force. Pandora’s Box is mentioned in Kim Lip’s solo.

I even wrote a short story based on the LOONAverse where I portrayed the girls as angels, and that chaos was unleashed onto the world after a devil was released from a box. (Read here.)

Whatever the case may be, if Heejin was in fact an angel, she might’ve fallen from Heaven because of her ambition getting the best of her, and tried to save her friends and the world her Goddess made, only to become trapped on Earth as a result.

Hope you guys enjoyed this theory! Let me know your thoughts as well!

Until then, stan LOONA!

[tunesscribbles]

Portgas D Ace x Reader   Nights

a 4 + 1 style fic | gender neutral reader | subheadings from ‘Shake It Out’ - Florence and the Machine

I I like to keep some things to myself

You heaved the unconscious body on the ship before fully climbing onto it yourself. That marked his- what? 87th failed murder attempt on Whitebeard? It was also at least the fifth time you had to fish him out of the ocean since devil fruit users can't swim. You shivered in the chilly night air. Nothing better than a dive into freezing water in the middle of the night! You really hoped you wouldn't catch a cold as you wrung out your hair and clothes a little.

You were seriously doubting this guy's sense of self-preservation. It was clear as day that he would never be successful. Ironically enough, the only one getting injured due to his murder attempts is himself. So why does he keep doing it?

You accepted the towels another crew member handed you with a thanks. Next to you Ace seemed to become conscious again. You wondered what was going on in his head. Definitely nothing too cheerful, judging by the way he curled into himself, knees brought up, arms folded above and head resting on top. Although he made a pitiful sight with seawater dripping from his body and collecting in a puddle under him, he seemed anything but defeated.

This stubborn idiot was going to try again, wasn't he? You wouldn't put it past him to go for it this very night. Instead of asking him why or trying to convince him not to, like many had tried before you, you threw a towel over his shoulders and moved to sit down.

You lifted your gaze upwards to look at the sky. Not a cloud in sight, no moon either, just billions of twinkling dots. The past few days had been cloudy and childish as it may be, you had missed the stars, just a little. No matter where you are in the world, the stars look the same. They were a source of comfort.

You heard Ace shift as he reluctantly began to dry himself with the towel. Oh, right. For a moment you completely forgot about him. Weren't you supposed to try to talk to him?

"Okay, so..." Strong start, already getting weaker. This was a terrible idea all around. You threw a glance at him to find him looking up at the sky like you were before. There was a certain glint in his eyes, like he was trying to remember where they kept the weapons on this ship.

You sighed. "At least try not to fall into the ocean again tonight." You got up to leave him to his own (certainly self-destructive) devices. "Ain't no man above a common cold!"

II I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't

As soon as Ace finally accepted the invitation and became part of the crew, he defended Whitebeard's name with such vigor that you wondered if he was putting in an extra effort to try to compensate for his earlier actions or if he was simply this much of a ride-or-die person. The more time you spent with him, the more you leaned towards the latter.

It surprised you how lively and open the freckled male turned out to be once he lowered his guard. He seemed so different from the troubled teenager Whitebeard had picked up. Ace was actually easy to talk to and the two of you got along well.

The stars shone dimly through a thin layer of clouds as you were about to land on the next island.

"Lets go grab some food, my treat.", he offered. He stood next to you and spun his bright orange hat on his finger. That hat was frankly ridiculous! As if he was pretending to be some sort of cowboy-pirate.

"You never pay for your food.", you remarked and raised your eyebrows at him.

"That's not-" The hat slipped of his finger and in an attempt to catch it Ace almost threw it into the ocean. He composed himself again and adjusted his trademark clothing item on his head. "I'll pay this time, it'll be nice."

He seemed nervous, why was he nervous? You squinted your eyes at him in a scrutinizing look.

"You're planning something, I don't trust you when you're planning something. You had a prank war with Thatch last week and now you want to pay for someone else's food when you never even pay for your own?"

The look in his eyes was a mixture of panic and suffering like a plan gone wrong. You knew it!

He threw his hands up in defeat. "You know what? Forget it! I bet it wouldn't have worked anyway!" and then his words became unintelligible as he grumbled to himself. Something about being damned if Marco was right and how it was not even that big of a deal, whatever 'it' was. You would feel bad for him, if you had not just dodged a prank.

"Aw, don't be like that! I can help you trick someone else, if you want.", you tried to cheer him up. "Take a look at the stars! It's the perfect night to cause some mischief. Just because I didn't fall for it, doesn't mean no one else will." The more you talked, the more you got the feeling of being on the wrong ship and sailing away into the distant land of "I-really-fucked-this-up-but-I-don't-know-what-I-missed".

That feeling was further enhanced by Ace glancing at you sideways and saying: "You are terrible at this." in a way that made you question what exactly 'this' was and at what point during the conversation the two of started to talk about completely different topics.

There was a hint of amusement in his voice though and you decided to latch onto it to stop this talk from hurtling towards becoming a ship wreck.

"Well, we all have to be something, don't we?" There you go, he laughed. Another interaction salvaged. "We can still go and grab some food, if you'd rather do that."

He pulled a face. "Nah, I don't feel like paying for it anymore."

Now it was your turn to throw up your arms.

III I've been a fool and I've been blind

You hissed as the doctor cleaned out your wound before bandaging it. Next to you Ace winced in sympathy.

You were slightly unsure what to do with him these days. Over time you became good friends, however at some point there has been a shift in your dynamic. Whereas conversations used to flow naturally and hanging out with each other was comfortable, nowadays everything seemed to be accompanied by an underlying tension. An odd sense of nervousness would spread between you and like a wrench thrown into the conversational clockwork, it would bring everything to an awkward standstill. Suddenly you were overly aware of every aspect of yourself that could pass as a flaw and the various ways in which you could ruin this friendship you have come to treasure.

Ace was still uncharactaristicaly silent when you left the infirmary. You gently bumped your shoulder with his to gain his attention.

"I can almost hear you inventing new ways to blame yourself, stop that. It wasn't your fault."

"I was supposed to watch your back!", he said through gritted teeth.

"You did! Otherwise I wouldn't be here to tell you not to beat yourself up. Even if you didn't, it was my fault for not paying attention." His mouth was already open to come back with another argument but you cut him off. "No! No arguing. End of discussion."

And apparently also end of conversation because another tense silence followed your words. You heaved a sigh so heavy it could have sunk a whole ship.

Your fingers brushed past his hand and he flinched away like you burned him. Which was ironic, considering he was the one with the fire powers. This right here is what you were talking about. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why was everything amped up to a hundred and then some? The smallest touch could set everything ablaze and words were weighed down with double meanings and it hurt and still. All you could think was how much you wanted to hold his hand and maybe, maybe-

Something clicked into place. Something you had known in the back of you mind for a while but just now realized. Oh, you thought.

 Oh

The fact that Ace smelled distractingly like bonfire did not help with the overall situation.

IV Here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

"Do you have to be so disgustingly in love?", asked Thatch with an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know what you're talking about.", you replied at the same time as Ace said: "Absolutely!", from where he sat wrapped around you with his chin propped up on your head.

The crew members nearby laughed and toasted to "young love" and that it may annoy the cook to the end of times.

Later that night Ace and you retreated to a quieter place on deck away from the party. You watched the stars overneath and after a while you said: "They're all long burned out and dead."

Ace spluttered and choked on his drink. You had to pat his back to help him.

"What?"

"The stars. A lot of them are long dead before we can see their light.", you elaborated.

"Oh" Now he looked up as well as if considering them from a new perspective.

"Doesn't stop them from looking beautiful though." You smiled and leaned into him.

"No, it doesn't."

It was quiet for a moment, apart from the party on other parts of the ship, but it was not like the uncomfortable silences in the past. Just a pause, nothing to worry about. There is no longer a rush to get the right words out in time in fear of them dissolving on your tongue otherwise.

You took a sip of your drink while Ace laced your fingers together.

"Disgustingly in love", he repeated the words from before and smiled. You couldn't help but grin yourself.

"Maybe so", you said and playfully swung your joined hands back and forth.

"I love you.", he said and you never really get used to such declarations. Ace turned around so you are facing each other and cupped your cheek in his unoccupied hand. "Disgustingly much!"

If a smile could stop a war, this one had just achieved world peace.

"I love you, too." You dropped a kiss on the tip of his nose and then some more on the freckles on his cheeks, for good measure. "An obnoxious amount!"

Ace leaned in for a proper kiss and for the next few moments the world began and ended right here: You two, with your hands entwined, kissing under the light of dead stars.

A week later Thatch found a devil fruit.

+ I I' m ready to suffer, I'm ready to hope

A year passed. Vengeance proved unsuccessful.

For a long time now you had felt unhinged, off balance without any clear goal in sight. What was there left to do when you have lost so much?

It felt wrong, looking at the night sky and finding it no different to all the times you used to look at it together. The world was cruel like that, it didn't care about your loss.

The world doesn't care, people do. That is one of the most valuable lessons becoming part of Whitebeard's crew had taught you.

Now the uncaring stars slowly faded to make way for the dawning sun.

You laid down a bouquet of flowers on your father's grave. "I have to go my own way again.", you told him. You had already said your goodbyes to the remainders of the crew. This was your last stop before the rest of the world. After spending so much time mourning and fighting, it was time for you to move on, to live for yourself again. You felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. 

"Thank you for everything, pops!", you almost choked on your words and had to take a moment to gather yourself. It may get easier with time but it will never just be easy.

You turned to the second grave and had to smile at the sight of a certain hat. "Don't worry, I'll be safe.", you reassured him. Your eyes wandered up into the sky. No more stars to admire. "I wonder if they look the same wherever you are now."

Taking a step backwards you looked at both graves for a last time. "I miss you and I won't ever forget you.", with that you bowed shortly and then turned around to go.

A gust of wind ruffled your hair and for a second the air carried a faint smell like- "Bonfire." You took a deep breath and continued walking down the hill. Your steps becoming faster and faster until you were running and you haven't felt this weightless in such a long time, you thought you might just lift off the ground completely and fly.

(You passed a young man in a tophat on your way down.)

[inahazzze]

Okay, Rissa, you said about wanting to write Harry on a motorcycle so here’s what I have for you . . . It’s early in the dating game between Harry and Y/N and he take you on a ride on the back of the bike to some really serene distinction and it’s all cutie coo and on the way home it begins to rain lightly, ‘cause the both of you to laugh and while Harry is driving slowing and carefully a bit of silliness ensures.

A/N: Thanks for the ask! Sorry that I changed it a little bit. The MC has anxiety but it’s very fluffy otherwise. I’m trying to practice not being so much of a perfectionist and writing/posting things quicker without obsessing over editing, so I’m sorry if it’s not that great. I hope you like it, please let me know what you think :)

“I’m… I dunno. I guess… I’m just a little scared.”

“There’s nothing to be scared about, baby,” Harry says to you softly with his hand in yours. He’s running his thumb over the palm to soothe your nerves as he usually does when you have anxiety. “It’s perfectly safe and I have a helmet for you and everything.”

“Do I have to?” You say in an uncharacteristically small voice.

“Of course I’m not gonna force you if you really don’t want to, but it’ll be okay. You can hold on to me the entire time, bug. I’ll be right here and you can wrap your arms around me as tight as you want.”

“What if I fall off?”

He giggles a little, but not in a patronising way. “It’s more secure than you think it is. And you know I’d never suggest it if I didn’t know you’d be safe with me,” he says. You look him in the eye and his gentle smile puts you a little at ease.

“Okay… you says there’s a surprise at the end?”

He grins, giving your hand a squeeze. “Trust me, it’ll be worth it,” he says. “You’re gonna love it.”

You squeeze his hand back to assure him that you’re alright and he presses his lips against your temple for a quick kiss. He then guides you over to his motorcycle and hands you a helmet before placing his own over his fluffy hair.

“You better still love me when I have helmet hair,” you mutter, and he laughs out of relief that you’re clearly not too anxious if you’re able to make a joke. He climbs onto the bike first to steady it and then holds out a hand so that you can lift your body behind him. You settle your hips as close as they can get behind Harry and immediately wrap your arms tight around him even though you aren’t even moving yet. You can feel his abdomen shake with laughter but he doesn’t say anything. Maybe it won’t be so bad, you think. At least you had the sense to wear shorts today.

As soon as Harry turns on the engine, the vibration rattles through your body and it’s a surprisingly pleasant sensation. Before taking off, Harry reaches his hand down to yours to give it another soothing squeeze. You take a deep breath and tell him that you’re ready.

The moment the bike jolts forward, adrenaline starts pumping through you like electricity. You lean your chest against Harry’s back and close your eyes while you focus on calming your thoughts. It’s okay. Harry will keep you safe.

When you open your eyes, you notice that you’re on a standard paved road. Vibrantly green trees pass you by in a blur and a cloudless sky welcomes you forward. It’s quite beautiful, seeing the world this fast. It’s something you’ve never experienced before and you’re amazed that you’re not hating it as much as you thought you would. In fact, it’s actually quite exhilarating. That doesn’t mean that you loosen your hold of Harry, though.

You ride for ten minutes before you see your first car, though it overtakes you and zooms off fairly quickly. You were already pretty remote to begin with, but you seem to be entering a more natural and wild environment the further that you ride. That’s one of the reasons that Harry chose this area for your little romantic getaway - you wanted to be around only nature and each other.

After a few more minutes of riding, Harry starts to slow down and then turns onto a rough dirt road. You ask him where you’re going, but he either ignores you or can’t hear from the wind and the helmet. The trees are more lush and green here than they were on the main road, and they’re so overgrown that they mostly block out the sky above you. The path becomes narrower and rougher the further that you travel down it, until you have no choice but to stop and walk the rest of the way.

Your legs feel a bit like jelly when you climb off the bike. You’re relieved to be off of it, but the adrenaline still courses through your body from battling your fear. Harry jumps off and immediately embraces you, giving you a soft peck on your lips.

“It’s not too far now,” he says, grabbing a bag from the back of the motorcycle that you hadn’t noticed was there. You walk down the narrow path hand in hand, enjoying the natural silence. You haven’t even arrived yet and you feel at peace.

The reveal of your destination is more breathtaking than you could have ever imagined. Harry smiles from ear to ear at your shocked expression, revelling in the fact that he knows he’s done well. You wouldn’t have thought such a place could exist outside of fairytales - and it’s all for you.

Before you is a large clearing filled with bright purple flowers so dense that all you can see is a solid block of colour. It’s more vibrant than you thought flowers could ever be, and the sight takes your breath away. How is this here? How did Harry find it, or know about it? You want to ask him a million questions but you’re speechless.

You feel Harry snake his hands around your shoulders and pull your back into his chest. “You like it?” He asks with a smirk, knowing full well that you do.

“It’s-” Your voice cracks with emotion at the romantic gesture of finding this place and bringing you here for a date. No one has ever done anything like this for you before and you doubt anything could top this. “Harry, it’s-” You can’t find the words, so you spin around in his arms and press your lips firmly against his.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he mumbles into your mouth with a smile.

Harry leads you to the spot he had planned, and you’re amazed to find a picnic blanket already set up with a large basket holding it in place. When could he possibly have found the time to do this? Or did he have someone else set this up? Your mind races a million miles a minute and yet you feel a sense of calm from just being in such a beautiful place.

You sit down onto the blanket next to Harry and he opens up the picnic basket to reveal a wealth of food. You see a loaf of bread, a pile of various fruit, and a mini cooler filled with cheese and dips. It’s a feast that you’re certain you’ll be unable to finish between the two of you alone.

Suddenly, you’re overtaken with love for the man who has done all of this for you. Before you met him, you never thought that you could find such a perfect partner - but here he is. He’s kind, thoughtful, fun, and overall your perfect match. You feel like you’ve won the lottery.

The emotions are overwhelming but you try to hold yourself together for Harry, knowing that it could very well ruin the date if you start to burst into tears. You snuggle close to him, trying to show your appreciation through your body. But he knows exactly what you’re thinking, and the fact that you can’t vocalise it only tells him just how much this all means to you.

You spend the next few hours in heaven. You eat, talk, joke, laugh, and cuddle. You fall even more in love with him, which you didn’t think was possible at this point. It truly couldn’t be a more perfect day.

~

On the way back to the cottage, you appreciate the ride a little bit more than you did before. You notice how crisp and refreshingly cool the wind feels against your face, and love how you feel like you’re flying through the air in a way that makes you feel truly free.

But when it starts to rain, your anxiety begins to seep back into your thoughts.

“Baby?” You ask Harry hesitantly. “Could we slip? Like, could the tires skid from the rain?” You can see all the worst case scenarios flashing through your mind’s eye and can’t seem to turn it off.

Harry turns his head to the side as if to look at you to console you, but you just squeal at him to look ahead at the road while he’s driving. He doesn’t need you to explain that your anxiety has returned tenfold - he can hear it in your voice clear as day.

“Do you need me to stop, baby?” Harry says without looking back at you.

“Um…” You weigh up whether it would be worth it but decide that you would struggle to get back on the bike if you got off now.

“I just wanna get home, so I think I can push through if you keep going.” You close your eyes tightly to try and shake off the intrusive thoughts telling you that you’re going to crash. You’re holding onto Harry so tightly that he might find half moon nail marks pressed into his sides underneath his t-shirt. He seems more consciously careful, probably driving slower than he would if he was alone in these conditions.

When you finally arrive back at the cottage, you stumble off the bike and take several deep breaths. He wraps you in his arms again and lets you take your time getting your breathing back to normal with your face pressed against his chest. You breathe in his warm scent, the smells that just speaks of home to you. Neither of you care that you’re standing in the rain getting wet - you’re just happy being together and holding each other close.

“Guess we’re not doing that again, huh?” He says to lighten the mood. You give him a weak smile but still feel to rattled to say anything. “How about I run us a bath to make you feel a little better, yeah?” You hum into his chest, loving the idea. “And then we can watch a film?” He adds, making you smile that he seems to have read your mind.

You keep a light hold of him but lean back enough to look him in the eyes. “I love you so much, you know that?” You say softly.

“I dunno… I love you more, I reckon.” He says, and you playfully swat at his arm in response. You don’t need to say any more - you both know that your love for each other is stronger than anything else. It’s even stronger than your anxiety - your fears start to ebb away as soon as you look into his eyes. You still feel a bit anxious and restless, but you know that Harry will always be there for you to keep you safe.

You walk into the cottage hand in hand with Harry and take one last look at the motorcycle in the driveway. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 24: “Let’s Go Home”

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Thoughts under the cut [and spoiler warning for the whole manga. Also I’m gonna talk way too much about my own life and why I relate so much to this part, so be warned]

Oh boy, where to even begin with this one. The episode I’ve been waiting for pretty much ever since they announced this new adaptation last year.

Right off the bat I should make it clear that I loved and adored this episode and it exceeded my expectations. It was pretty much 100% perfect aside from one bit of awkward animation. But at least from a writing standpoint I dunno how they could have done it better than this.

For one thing, this was a very faithful adaptation of this part of the manga, which already makes it better than the 2001 version of this whole arc. Specifically this episode adapts chapters 32 and 33, plus the first few pages of chapter 34. So it’s pretty much the whole meat of the true form arc, but it’s not like they rushed it all in one episode. I was worried that they might try and cover too much in this episode, but this was a good middle ground between the idea of doing the entire thing in one episode, and stretching the arc into roughly three episodes like the 2001 anime did.

I actually appreciate the 2001 version of this arc more than most people do [though I understand why people with a longer history with the series resent it more], but this was so much better, lmao. I can understand where they were coming from with the 2001 version of it, but they went too far with trying to make it slow and depressing. It just felt way too drawn out in that version, not to mention the various changes to characterization that they did which are really jarring and weird if you’ve read the manga.

Some people might criticize this episode for being too fast, and not taking it’s time to get to the climax more, but it’s at least worth noting that episode 23 was more or less the first episode of this arc. A lot of it was about reminding you of Kyo’s issues, and making it as clear as possible that his secrets and insecurities were about to be brought to light. And then this episode just followed through on that. So it’s not like this arc just came and went in the space of a single episode. Plus there’s the fact that we still have chapter 34 to be adapted in the finale, which is where this arc winds down and we start setting up the rest of the story.

And honestly one part of this episode that I really liked was how slow and atmospheric it was. It was still adapting a little more than two chapters of content, but it felt very deliberately paced, and especially in the first half there were a lot of scenes that felt really tense and gripping because of how the pacing was done.

Mainly I’m thinking of the whole scene of Kazuma confronting Kyo and removing his beads, because holy SHIT that was way more tense and nerve-wracking than I expected it to be. It definitely felt longer than it did in the manga, but I really liked it. They went all in on the atmosphere with that one and it really payed off.

And then of course it ended with Kyo’s transformation scene, where similarly to the 2001 anime, they actually show him transforming instead of us cutting straight to the aftermath of it. I’ve been waiting to see if they’d be able to effectively get across just how viscerally shocking and horrific Kyo’s true form is, and oh boy they sure delivered. I bet most anime-only people weren’t expecting Kyo’s big secret to be THAT, lol. It’s the sorta thing where you naturally go into it thinking ‘surely it’s not gonna be that big of a secret, it’s just something that he THINKS he needs to hide’, but then you actually get to the big reveal and suddenly you realize just how big of a secret it actually is.

In general it’s representative of how this whole arc is where Fruits Basket starts to really show it’s true colours. Technically we don’t see anything quite like Kyo’s true form ever again, but this is where it becomes clear that the story’s not going to hold back with the drama, and that it’s willing to put it’s characters through some real trauma.

It’s still kinda funny that this arc being the end of the 2001 anime lead lots of people to thinking it was the end of the story, when in fact this is pretty much just the START of where things get real. Though it was still a good idea to make this the climax of the first season. It’s definitely the end of the first act of the story, which is even more clear with how the reboot’s been rearranging things. In the manga there’s a sort of transition period between this arc and the summer vacation arc where we get some more character introductions and stuff, but a lot of that’s already been covered in the reboot, so after this it won’t be long before we get into more plot progression.

Before I talk about the emotional weight of this arc and why it means so much to me, I just wanna say that I’m somehow still confused about exactly what the final episode is going to be covering now, lol. We’re definitely getting the rest of chapter 34 next week, but that clearly isn’t going to be the only chapter they cover. The episode title refers to summer starting, but I honestly can’t figure out which exact chapter that line’s being taken from. There’s a surprising amount of different chapters between now and the summer vacation arc where Tohru says stuff about summer coming soon, or already starting, or whatever. So there’s like several different chapters they might be ending this season on, and I can’t really begin to guess which they’re going for.

The obvious choice would be chapter 35, since that follows the immediate aftermath of this arc, but I looked back through that chapter in the manga and I don’t think Tohru says anything about summer during it. At least not that exact line.

I also thought it might be from chapter 48, since the last bit of that chapter would probably be a good way to end season 1 off, but that takes place when summer vacation’s already started, so I don’t think that’s it. Unless they change the context and timing of that part, though. Which is possible. I wouldn’t be too surprised if they basically cut most of chapter 48 for the anime since it’s so filler-y that it might be hard to find room for, so maybe they’ll just transplant the more plot-important part at the end of it into the end of season 1. Who knows.

Either way I think it’s more likely that they’ll just end things off with chapter 35. But I kinda don’t want them to, since it’d be a really good way to start season 2. It serves as a bit of a recap of the true form arc, while setting up some other long-term plot stuff as well. In general I just feel like it might feel jarring to have the last half of the season 1 finale suddenly switch to Yuki’s POV in a way that just raises more questions than answers. I think the end of chapter 48 is a much more fitting way to end the first season since it’s one big teaser for the summer vacation arc as a whole. And honestly even though it’d technically mean jumping forward like 12+ chapters, it’s not really that strange to consider, with how they’ve already covered a good chunk of the gap between chapters 34 and 48, with what I said before about the anime moving a lot of that transition arc to before the true form arc.

Though tbh I also just kinda want to see Rin in the final episode so I don’t have to wait until season 2 for her, lmao. 

And since I have far too much time on my hands at the good old time of 11am on a Saturday morning, I decided to comb through my Japanese volumes of the series just to be absolutely sure, and as far as I can tell the line used as the next episode title isn’t actually taken from anywhere from chapters 35 to 48. Which is weird, since I think all of the episode titles have been pretty 1:1 with lines from the manga. The most similar-sounding lines are the ones from places like chapter 48 where Tohru talks about how summer’s starting, but it’s still not quite the same.

So yeah I’m at least hoping it means that ep25 is gonna end on a modified version of the end of chapter 48 where instead of happening at the start of summer, it happens before it, but we still get that whole dramatic monologue from her about how it feels like things are about to start moving. But who even knows at this point.

Anyway, that was far too much of me talking about my predictions for the next episode, lmao.

Back onto this episode itself, I’ve always thought this was my favourite part of the whole manga mostly because it’s the part I relate to the most, to be blunt. Though really it’s more that Kyo’s my favourite character and his entire character arc is great and there’s so many elements to it that I relate to, but this is the most prominent part of it, and it covers a good chunk of what I relate to most about his character. But there’s definitely stuff I’m gonna wait to talk about until way later when certain other parts of his backstory are revealed.

Either way, even though it isn’t exactly the main thing that Kyo’s whole arc is meant to be a metaphor for, I’ve always thought this arc was intensely relatable and realistic to my experiences as a disabled person, especially when it comes to topics like my relationship with my parents, and my own self-perception.

In terms of personality I’m much closer to Yuki than Kyo overall [though not fully], but in terms of life circumstances I’m much closer to Kyo.

I dunno if I’ve talked about it in too much detail anywhere on my blog before, but I was born completely blind and deaf. My condition has improved since then, mostly with my hearing, but I still have enough issues with my vision that on top of wearing glasses I’ve spent the last year or so learning to use a cane to help me get around in public. But one way or another I spend the first few years of my life blind and deaf, and for obvious reasons that had some major impacts on my family, in ways that have had lifelong consequences.

My parents got divorced shortly after I was born, and until I was about 12 I only saw my father once every few weeks, and after that I made the choice to cut myself off from him once and for all. As time’s gone on I’ve gotten more sympathetic toward him, and the stuff he had to deal with on his side of things, but a part of me will never let go of my resentment toward the fact that one way or another he decided that he didn’t want me to be a proper part of his life. I always got the impression that for one reason or another he refused to engage with the fact that I was disabled. He never talked about it with me, and whenever I visited him, he never made any sort of accommodations for me. And I was always too ashamed and nervous to talk about it with him even when I should have.

On the other side of things, my mother is more on the over-protective side of the spectrum. Which I can’t exactly blame her for, since she was left pretty much on her own to raise me when she already had one other child with special needs.

She does her best to be constantly aware of my disabilities and to support me in whatever ways I need, but sometimes it feels like she just pities me. I don’t really know how to put it without sounding selfish or disrespectful.

I think that if she could keep me in her sight at all times and never let me go, she would. I know that she’s just worried about me, but sometimes I worry about what she thinks of me, and what she thinks when other people meet me. But I think that’s more just about me being self-conscious and paranoid about how other people see me.

I can tell that she’s had a lot of struggles with raising me that she’s mostly kept to herself because she doesn’t want me to feel bad, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Part of me’s always worried that there’s a lot of emotions she’s bottling up which will one day explode, and ultimately I just don’t want her to leave me. Even if she doesn’t love every part of me, even if she doesn’t always enjoy the process of raising me, I just want her to be able to stay with me.

And then on the final point of this whole messed up trifecta, you have me and my own self-perception. Which is a whole iceberg of a topic that I’m gonna make no attempt to fully cover, lol.

In terms of how I relate to this whole part of Kyo’s arc, all of my self-consciousness and paranoia about my own status as a disabled person within society that’s been left to fester over the years has lead to me developing this irrational, warped, self-hating idea that at the core of who I am, I’m basically a catatonic vegetable who can’t survive on their own. I always worry about whether or not I ‘look disabled’ to people when I’m in public. I can’t help but worry about people see when they look at me. So in my own way I’ve developed this image of myself being some kind of hideous monster which I have to avoid people seeing. It feels like if people see the ‘true me’, they’d be disgusted, and so I try and act as normal as possible, while avoiding interacting with people as much as I can.

So you can probably get why the whole true form arc here kinda strikes a chord with me, lmao. It’s just such a raw and visceral depiction of the feeling of being exposed and made vulnerable in a way that shows everyone everything that’s wrong with you. But it’s also a representation of the sort of genuine, unconditional connection that you secretly want when you’re in that sort of situation. It’s not really about love or hate. It’s just about not wanting to be abandoned over something that you can’t even change.

In a lot of ways this arc is also why I love Tohru so much as a character, and why I think she’s so interesting. Her whole relationship with Kyo feels like a really realistic exploration of the fundamental anxiety of feeling like you don’t deserve true love and acceptance, that you’re asking for too much if you want that, and that anyone who gives you that is just ‘too perfect’, and they’re just pitying you, or whatever. But at the end of the day, their whole relationship is about how you always do deserve love, and that there’ll always be at least someone out there who will properly accept you. And on top of all that, there’s the fact that love isn’t a simple matter of just saying that you love someone and ignoring anything unpleasant about them or your own feelings. Love is a choice that you have to keep making.

Which is part of why I always felt annoyed and disillusioned at the idea that my father still loved me at the end of the day, in spite of everything. I can admit that for all intents and purposes that’s true, but it ultimately feels fake and hollow if you say that you love someone even when you hold them at arm’s length and choose to stay away from them.

On a more specific note, this arc in particular also touches upon the whole idea of physical contact and intimacy, which has always really resonated with me. In general the whole concept of ‘turning into an animal when you hug someone’ is used to surprisingly poignant effect across the whole series, and this is one of the best examples of it. The image of Kyo as a cat laying on Tohru’s lap and crying always gets to me.

And honestly, I think that the absence of physical contact can be one of the most painful signs of abandonment, especially to a child. It can make you feel alone even when you’re in the same room as that person. I distinctly remember that my father’s relative lack of physical affection with me was always one of the things that made me feel most uncomfortable and unwanted when I visited him. At this point I know that it was probably more about his personality in general, since he was a fairly closed-off person with everyone, but it still hurt.

What I’m trying to say is that everyone has a fundamental, primal desire to be hugged by somebody that loves them, which is why I like that that’s the big emotional climax of this arc. I actually prefer it this way, to if it we got a more conventional kiss scene or whatever.

Also I just wanna point out that literally one episode ago Kyo was being all tsundere about not wanting Tohru to hold him in his cat form and LOOK HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED NOW, CAT BOY :)

Yes, you better believe that I’ve been hugging my own cat whenever possible ever since I finished this episode, lmao. Everyone should go hug a cat. It doesn’t even have to be one you own, just go out and find one to hug, lol.

Anyway I’m one giant emotional wreck after this episode so I’m gonna go take a nap. See y’all next week when we have to face the even greater emotional pain of being faced with the wait for season 2 to come out.

[erenthecoordinate]

Hello. Please share your thoughts about the latest couple of chapters/Zeke's backstory.

Not gonna lie, this probably one of the most emotional chapters I’ve read in a while.  I’ve been asking for a Zeke-centric chapter that would explain his motives and we got it in the classical heartbreaking fashion that this series is known to dish out.  AND it includes an explosive cliffhanger that Michael Bay would be proud of and make a good portion of the fandom look at a panel at 200% zoom and contrast change for 3 days.

I think the last time I talked about Zeke on this blog, I mentioned that I believe there is a chance Zeke is being genuine with working on Eldia’s side, but it wasn’t yet clear how much he wanted to include Paradis in the fruits of his potential “free the people” plan.  Yeah, so, things have changed obviously.  But not as drastically as I was led to believe after chapter 112.  By ch113, I figured there was more to the story with Zeke, since it seemed that his intentions for escaping was based on a time restraint and the fact he couldn’t trust Levi in the end.  Fortunately for his fans and unfortunately for Zeke, Levi’s plot armor saved him this time.  Only for fate to be teased once more!  Ugh!

I’m going to give a few super brief hot takes that I posted before but Tumblr decided to throw it into the abyss the first time.  This is going to be the least analytical and organized list I’ve ever written so be kind:

Finally, a flashback chapter of the most mysterious guy in this series

…AND HE’S CUTE!?

Oh my god.

Grisha and Dina are not the worst parents nor bad people but hell if they aren’t misguided, radical, and negligent of their only son.

This gives me middle school flashbacks.

I didn’t expect Zeke to suck at military training, to be honest.  They really did just call him a child prodigy for his miracle abilities and the fact he betrayed his parents.

Which I don’t entirely blame him anymore…if it wasn’t his free decision, he was influenced by a replacement nurturing parental figure to do it.  Ouch.

I was mad when these spoilers came out but now it makes sense why this is Zeke’s motive.

I’m pretty confident Eren is double crossing Zeke now.

Zeke is not dead.  Levi is not dead.  Splash text is clickbait.

I don’t even think Levi lost any arms, but we won’t know until 2 or 3 chapters from now.  Hope he knows how to swim!

For wordy rambling, please read on--

As most of the fandom assumed, this chapter was going to be primarily a flashback containing Zeke’s childhood.  And it’s a heavy reveal that spirals into his present-day motives.  It opens up with another scene that illustrates exactly how mistreated and disrespected Eldians are, the janitor going so far as to question why they are “breeding” for more devils.  This is unsurprisingly traumatizing to Zeke and those words are the seeds that flourish the plant of self-hatred soon to wreak havoc.  On the other hand, Grisha vents his frustrations and feeds the idea that their only salvation is to be free from their internment.  They have barely enough freedom to leave their residence and to do so require legal permission.  At this point, we’re familiar enough with how Marley reacts to Eldians both in the past and present day and those views haven’t changed no matter the year.  The story makes us aware that other nations prefer the race to be eradicated whereas Marley’s action is to keep them controlled, though of course there are people who support the former option.  It’s demeaning enough to be ostracized but threatened with genocidal wishes from the general public induces a lot of paranoia and, in the Restorationists’ case, rage.

Zeke is considerably mellow though.  There is no contempt because he’s too busy appeasing his parents.  He struggles with his training and falls far too short from the other warrior candidates.  But he is nothing but loyal to Grisha and Dina, even lying to his grandparents about how his father lectures him about their history.  Zeke uniquely gets two different teachings, but interestingly we don’t see him doubting either of them.  He seems to absorb more of what Grisha is saying, but doesn’t confess that to his grandparents, and simply nods and follows along to whatever is being read to him.  Most of his anxiety is reaching the expectation of becoming a warrior like his parents wanted.

His parents don’t make it a mystery to Zeke that him becoming a warrior is part of their restoration plan.  It’s not out of glory or that they want to best for him, but he is already exposed to the group as the one to save them all, a beacon of hope that the whole of the Eldian race depends on.

Of course, with the pressure on, Zeke cannot make the cut.  A mix of physical weakness and mental turmoil has Magath questioning Zeke’s integrity.  This brings him trailing behind his comrades, defeated, only to run into one of the current warriors playing catch with himself.  This is where we get a first glimpse of Zeke’s hidden pitching talent.  Tom Xaver, the current Beast Titan whose main job is a titan science researcher, is impressed and Zeke illuminates.

I know he murdered hundreds in very unkind ways, but it is a canon fact he is adorable.

Afterwards, Grisha, Dina, and their restorationist friend Grice become stressed with the fact Zeke isn’t performing to acceptable standards to even qualify to be a candidate of the warrior program, let alone having the chance to harness one of the titans.  Zeke overhears this and is taken back by the urgency. Grisha takes notice and attempts to encourage his son by saying he is special and therefore he can succeed.

Immediately follows probably one of the most depressing, soul-crushing pages that doesn’t include death (unless you count the death of Grisha and Dina’s faith in their son).  You don’t have to like Zeke to feel a twinge of relatability when he nearly breaks down from watching his parents turn away in disappointment.  It’s the worst kind of rejection because there is no improving something you simply cannot do and don’t truly have a passion for, even if you fight tooth and nail for it.

Xaver comments on Zeke’s atrocious training attempt and Zeke admits that his parents are the reason he has to become a warrior.  Xaver loosely describes the “perks” of being a warrior: harness unbelievable power, fight in wars, and die in 13 years by the teeth of your successor.  Avoiding that fate doesn’t grant much freedom, but to Zeke, staying alive for as long as possible is good enough.  To survive is fine.  He doesn’t need to fight to be free.

Naturally, cruel circumstances bombarde Zeke’s world when he overhears that his parents are in serious danger of being discovered.  He attempts to vere them to safer options so that they won’t be sent to Paradis, but Grisha and Dina immediately shut him down.  Living in an oppressed system is damaging to their self-esteem.  Revolution is necessary to change the world.  Zeke is their golden ticket.  There is a fatal risk to all this, but it is all for the name of their people.  For those who died for trying to reach beyond their boundaries.  Grisha omits his guilt over his sister’s death, saying what he wanted was simple.  Did that deserve punishment?  We already know his feelings about that, though.

Zeke on the other hand is convinced that it is all over for his family.  The power others have over them is far greater than his parents can overcome.  Xaver sees his distress and Zeke is quick to surrender any possibility of a long life, grateful he can hold onto memories of him as he eternally sleeps.  Xaver is too fond of Zeke, though, and we learn he is the one who suggests Zeke turn in his parents in order to save himself and his grandparents.  Zeke objects, of course, but it doesn’t take too long for Xaver to convince him that his parents cared more about their agenda than their child’s happiness and wellbeing.  And then that all happens.

Several years pass, and Zeke has gone from adorable to totally handsome.

Err...and he has become a successor to the Beast Titan.  He’s woven a close bond with this man to know progressions concerning his research.  A lot of it is information we already know but to them it’s a mix of theory and hearsay.  The new bit of information we gather is the theory that the Founding Titan can manipulate Eldian’s genetic makeup based on paths alone.  It’s what has saved them from plagues in the past.  Zeke recalls the janitor that harassed him and his parents years ago, and laments on the idea that the Founder can also prevent more Eldians from being born.

Xaver reacts somber over this concept.  He confesses that he used to have a family under disguise as a Marleyan.  It wasn’t until after his wife found out and killed herself and their son out of shame and disgust that he ultimately decided to become a warrior-- so he could die in the most glorified way possible, I guess?  In that time, he was dedicated to his research more than anything, but overall expressed he virtually replaced the void in his heart with Zeke’s presence, which explains why he was so important to him.  It’s kind of touching that they both found  each other to fill in roles that were empty in their lives.  Xaver still exhibits a great deal of self-hatred, something that Zeke can relate to.  At this point, he declares his motive of taking the Beast Titan, recovering the Founder, and stop the cycle of suffering by effectively ending the existence of Eldians altogether.  It’s...certainly a goal, albeit a method of giving in to their circumstances and accepting that they cannot fight against this oppression, so that the best thing to actually do is not exist.  Because no matter what they do, to exist is to suffer, and what kind of life is that?

The flashback closes with Levi overhearing Zeke mutter that the only salvation for Eldia is their euthanasia, and that all the deaths he is responsible for was a method of setting them free.  Of course, Levi doesn’t buy it and prepares for another round of Chopped.  Zeke appears to be only partially lucid when he shouts for his dead mentor to watch his next move.

In a matter of seconds, Zeke jerks the string that pulls the fuse and Levi looks to try to make a quick escape.  Zeke risks it all in an explosion that splits his body in parts, though it looks like his neck and head are still intact.  Meanwhile, Levi is blown back a distance with some blood trailing from his body due to ambiguous injuries.  And there is our cliffhanger of the volume!

I know I basically just summarized the chapter with some flavor additions, but there are a few things that drove me to a pit of emotions and questions during the spoiler drop.  Context from the fully translated chapter fixed a lot of my primary thoughts.

The Zekecrets

First big gain from this chapter is Zeke’s motive!  Finally, the zekecret is out!  And it’s rooted from a traumatic childhood and is buzzing with controversy.  I can’t say I agree with Zeke’s idea of ending the Eldian race by sterilizing them and killing those that he can.  But I will say that considering his experiences as a child and that discussion with Xaver had inspired this motive and, therefore, makes a lot of sense.  We’ve seen Zeke as a kind of chessmaster with many tricks up his sleeve yet was a shroud of mystery.  He has killed without mercy, he has betrayed his country, and he has turned that people he claimed to protect into Titans.  But to him, these deaths are convenient and align to his ultimate goal.

It’s honestly hard to believe that a character that has convinced people that his empathy level is so low that he barely even forms any attachments (as evidence with his betrayal) started off as an extremely sensitive and emotionally intelligent child.  His confidence is constantly challenged because of his blood from both sides.  His parents put him on a pedestal because his relation to them is what makes him special and therefore he must succeed.  On the other front, he is subjected to harsh ostracization from the general Marleyan public for simply being Eldian.  And at training, being the weaker of the child soldiers, he is put down by instructors and his trainee peers.  And even so, he still finds a bit of salvation in learning how to pitch while having some close conversation with a kind stranger.  Where he can’t find affection and acceptance in one area, he finds it in Xaver.

Still, the reality is that he is given these expectations that he himself simply has no strong drive to achieve nor the physical strength.  He presses on for the sake of his parents, but only his success will gain their acceptance and...he is unable to do it.  I think the most heartbreaking thing about this is that he accepts that he is somewhat of a tool for their agenda yet he sticks his neck out in hopes that he gets affectionate attention from his parents.  The fact he watches a child play ball with their father on his way home show that it’s an attention he craves because he doesn’t receive it often.  Even when he knows they are soon to get caught, Zeke’s first instinct is to say his goodbyes and surrender to whatever fate has in store for him.  To him, he is useless to carve his own path.  He has failed his parents, the Restorationists, the whole Eldian race, and himself.

Parenting Contrast: Grisha&Dina v Carla

I do briefly want to say that I don’t think Grisha and Dina were bad people, they are bad (not worst) parents and were too radicalized in their beliefs to realize that their son was emotionally struggling with self-esteem issues.  Anything they knew about Zeke was very on the surface.  Their priority was the revolution.  They manufactured a child for this due to their ignorance and anger.  But I don’t think they didn’t care about Zeke at all.  Zeke, to them, was to gain just as much of a positive outcome and life of freedom if he succeeded.  They were never aware of the pressure they put on Zeke.  Grisha later assumed that their negligence was the reason for Zeke’s betrayal and he never blames him for it.

Ironically, though, Eren is the appropriate child Grisha could have had for his revolution before it rapidly failed.  Second time’s the charm?  This is likely due to Eren’s lack of responsibility.  There were no dire expectations until later in his life.  Carla parented opposite of Dina and Grisha, believing that not everyone has to be special to be great.  Eren had more options open to him. 

Regardless, I don’t think Grisha quite parented the same way as he did with Zeke, but it may have been a bit difficult to keep reactions to certain circumstances subtle.  I don’t know if we’ll ever get more insight about why Eren used to be a weird loner kid that followed life through “the strong conquer the weak” system.  I just have a sneaking suspicion that it’s due to indirect mimicking of Grisha’s behavior.  After all, a real issue in this series are ignorant adults.  Or sometimes kids are just weird and easily influenced.  Unfortunately, in the end, Grisha does resort back to pressing responsibility on his second son, most likely because of their dire situation and Eren’s willingness to break free.  Because Eren is his son, of course.

Bit by bit, however, Zeke seems to be progressively aware of the obsession his parents have over their revolution plan.  They spend very little time with him, so he is often spending time with his grandparents, effectively keeping the cover up for his parents.  And any time they do spend with him is spent reversing the studies he has learned at school.  Zeke accepts the lessons but isn’t enthused.  I mentioned that he doesn’t really seem to question which history is correct and which isn’t; he doesn’t cast doubts on either and it’s difficult to say whether Grisha’s teachings were ones he felt were more accurate or that he was just parroting in order to gain approval.  A majority of his interactions with his parents are “yes” and nods.  

When Xaver comes into the picture and Zeke projects him as a father figure, he becomes more aware of his parents’ actions.  Which is why I don’t think it was especially a struggle for Zeke to believe Xaver when he told him that his parents don’t really care about him and that it’ll be worth selling them out if it means he and his grandparents get to live.  Zeke is very good at shutting down his emotions at this moment.  He is, however, not without heart though, because he continues to nurture that fondness for Xaver, who he is later a successor to.  In fact, he is the reason why Zeke entertains the idea that Eldians should stop reproducing.

The Plan and is Eren actually part of this?

This is where things get controversial, of course.  On one hand, technically, no longer existing means that they would no longer have to suffer.  Zeke says those on Paradis are ignorant to what the world has in store for them.  This isn’t to buy more time to properly unite with other nations, it was time to stop reproduction altogether and (probably) eliminate the Eldians on Paradis.  To Zeke it’s merciful to end this.  But it’s still genocide.  And I don’t believe this is the ultimate answer nor do I believe Eren is actually going to end up accepting this plan.

Unlike Zeke, Eren grew up with an everlasting flame that urged him to seek freedom in every format.  Freedom of his environment, freedom of his choices, etc.  He too gets weighed down by crushing expectations, becoming something of a tool for the military and government to achieve victory, but it is something that he genuinely wants.  Included, he still had the compassion of his comrades.  He wished them long lives.  He believes that people deserve to live simply by being born into the world.  Their existence gives them the right to freedom.  It gives them a chance to fight.  Sterilization is a big surrender.  Death and prevention of life, robbing that choice from others, is completely contradicting to anything Eren has ever learned, said, or believed in.  And I think his reaction to Willy’s words at the festival is a key indicator that his intention is to keep the Eldians alive.  I’m not sure how far ahead Eren is in terms of double crossing his brother, but at the very least, I think that if he knows Zeke’s true intentions, he has found or is finding a way to skirt around that option and use Zeke for his own plans.

I plan to write a progression meta theorizing Eren’s motives that edits and re-publishes with every reveal in each chapter but basically my guess is that Eren does know what Zeke wants and that he has been playing along with Zeke’s orchestrated plan, festival, Warhammer Titan, prisonbreak, etc. to earn loyalty points.  Which unfortunately included him killing innocents in the process.  But if Zeke really does believe their deaths are their true freedom, then Eren has to convince Zeke that he believe the same too.  Doesn’t mean he hasn’t internally struggled as a result.  But for now, Eren’s individual thoughts remain an enigma so it’s difficult to pinpoint his exact intentions at the moment.

Explosive (haha) End

Anyway, the other big thing was Zeke’s dramatic escape act which required an enormous explosion and the splitting of his own body.  Uh, yuck!  But I can’t help but feel a bit tickled that we actually have a panel with Zeke’s detached ass in the air.  His torso, including his neck and head, are more or less together, so he can easily pull off the Reiner trick to implant his brain to elsewhere on the nervous system so that he can regenerate from there.  So, yeah, Zeke will be fine.  And probably pantless if he can’t recover his lower half.

Levi, on the other hand, has no regenerating powers and appears pretty injured if the blood splattering off his body is anything to go by.  He wasn’t as close to the explosion, so it’s possible any injuries he sustained are because of the shooting debris and/or his sword, which he still had out in front guarding his body prior to the fuse going off.  I remember when the first grainy image of this panel came out and everyone was zooming in and tracing areas to figure out if Levi lost anything.  I think it’s consensus now that Levi has both legs intact and at the very least his left arm.  The only big question is whether his right arm is there and any other injuries on his torso or face that may exist.  If you want my personal visual analysis and theory, I think his injuries are not fatal nor crippling, meaning all his limbs are intact, but he probably has decent sized gashes on his body to have him temporarily side-lined.  I think the angle of the drawing and multiple gradients to indicate fast motion and blood direction is meant to give the reader uncertainty but in the end it’ll reveal that nothing was lost.  At least, I hope so.  It would be absolutely disheartening and irresponsible to put him out of commission for the rest of the series and the rest of his life-- I think out of all the suffering Levi has gone through, he definitely doesn’t deserve to feel completely useless to do anything,  Plus it’d be extremely underwhelming to set your strongest and most popular character on the bench before the big climax.

I will say that Levi is definitely not dead, though.  None of the notable deaths we’ve seen have been obscured by body angles.  They’ve been explicitly shown without debate on their status, Erwin and Sasha especially.  I believe the only off-screen deaths the series has had was Moblit and Ymir, and even then the scenes before then leave you no doubt to their inevitable fate.  Even Marco eventually got a scene of his death.  And neither of these deaths happened as cliffhangers.  But false death cliffhangers have always been a thing in the series.  Plus, I think Levi is far more deserving of a multi-panel, half chapter death scene if he were to die at all.

I do think he will land in the river and those injuries will prevent him from fighting effectively against the current to stay in his location.  I believe the convenient landscape was rather deliberate as it gives Zeke enough time and lonesomeness to recover and seek Eren.  Really, the explosion was an excuse to remove Levi from the scene and quickly be transported elsewhere.  But I want to bet we won’t find out Levi’s fate for another couple chapters.  Because Isayama is just that cruel!

....

Sorry this got extensive.  I’m still building up on these thoughts, so nothing is definite or without possibility of change.  But to summarize, Zeke’s childhood is sad, his plan is genocide and Eren ain’t about that life, Yeagerbros are dramatic people and forever interesting to me, and Levi is alive and battered but not handicapped.

That said, I would love to hear from everyone else about what they thought of the chapter.  Were you sympathetic to Zeke’s backstory?  Is he irredeemable?  What’s Eren’s role in all this?  Does he actually subscribe to Zeke’s scheme of eliminating all Eldians to end their suffering, or does he have other tricks up his sleeve?  Is Levi alive? How bad are his injuries?  Does he know how to swim?

Will I ever recover from the emotional rollercoaster this chapter has put me though?

Thanks for sending this ask!  I haven’t meta’d in a while and this honestly is inspiring to write again!

[247krp]

— Rejoice, little lambs! We have recovered our own Cha Minhee, spotted prancing about in the Southwest Side. I remember seeing her with The Empire back in high school, but I’m not here to spill yesterday’s tea. So straight to the rundown: can you say relentless and warm? Apparently now she spends time as a freelance stylist, photographer and the owner of Studio: Luxe, and keeps skeletons buried at Prague Tower, 802. But those won’t stay hidden for long, if you and I have any say on it. Welcome back, Jezebel; we missed you so.

In case you don’t remember the devil’s name, here’s to refresh your memory:

in high school minhee would do anything to come up and get noticed. she couldn’t help but want to be at the top of the social ladder. she was willing to do anything to get it even if that meant sucking up and then back stabbing. she had very few ‘friends’ and wanted to keep it that way. with the rise of gossip girl, she wanted her circle to remain nice and neat with the secrets inside of it. there was a mutual understanding between her and the queen-b of the group before things went side-ways. minhee knew that it was her one ticket to being loved so she grabbed it with both hands. to others she looked like she adored the group and soon she looked like she always belonged it. she walked with an air around her and it seemed as if everything about her was perfect. this followed until graduation but some strain could be seen on her to keep up the perfect smile.

Nevermind the memory lane though, the present is always the ripest fruit:

it shocked a lot of people that she had a child, and they constantly want to know who the father is. she holds her head boldly and she’s extremely proud of her daughter. she can always been seen smiling at just the thought of it. minhee has mellowed out some in the sense that she doesn’t use other’s as stepping stones anymore. she put a lot of work into going into school so when her daughter got older, she’d be able to look up to her proudly. she still does have her sponsors but she’s very strict about it. overall she’s mellowed out a lot since high school but her desire to be one of the 1% hasn’t faded and she hopes her business will bloom and make that happen.

But we are nothing if not open books – my job is to ensure you get to the best pages:

from the first time she heard her mother express that she regretted having her minhee decided to become someone great and it didn’t matter how. she grew up with hearing the woman talk about how she she hadn’t really wanted her. and minhe didn’t know why, maybe because she was a boy. maybe because she hadn’t wanted another child but had been pushed into it. maybe she thought her family was already finished. either way, her mother didn’t want her and her father didn’t pay too much attention. just enough. and it might have broke her. 

but it didn’t. ( and maybe she wouldn’t let herself admit it did. ) 

she had became a stranger to her family. it felt like she had no status in her family. like she had been awkwardly thrust there. one parent didn’t like her and to the other, she didn’t matter one way or another. with all the money her family had, it felt like she had no status of her own. 

and she would do anything to have status. 

status meant that her father would regret ignoring her. status meant that her mother would finally shut up about much of a waste her life was. status meant being loved and she was sick of hurting for it. she was wondering what was so horrible for her to be alive. 

even though she wore name brand clothing, it hadn’t mattered. at first it felt like she couldn’t carry herself with the air of money she knew she had. even though her family had some status, she had none. minhee didn’t leave things like that for too long. she made sure to make her presence known around the more ‘popular’ kids. that’s when the chance came and it shaped her life. when the girl invited her to lunch, she knew the other saw her as a charity case. she saw minhee as pet project and she was being groomed into becoming a servant.

that was fine, they could use each other. the girl wanted to feel good about herself and minhee wanted a taste of the world she couldn’t have. finally, she was had been able to take trips with the other. people noticed her style, she had become a house hold name in the halls simply for hanging out with someone. it was going smoothly until minhee had really started to become noticed.

she had been invited to parties her 'friend’ hadn’t been. more people noticed that she had a charm of her own and that’s how she landed her first boyfriend at the same time two of her friends started dating. the couple became the high-school sweet hears but minhe wasn’t one to let that stop her. it was the first time she had 'sponsor’ that was what she would call it when alone. to other’s it was her 'rich’ boyfriend who spent money on her and those she considered friends.

that caused the first crack in the facade. by now everyone could sense the tension in the group but no one had been willing to talk about it. they’re small group had become too popular and there were too many people who would'v been happy to see them fall.

but high school was almost over and they only needed to last a little while longer but god was it hard. it started over a small argument, the girl who brought her in had heard about minhee’s party and she wanted to know why she wasn’t told. an argument followed that ended up with her sponsors being thrown in her face. it opened up something ugly in her. they were on the cusp of building their careers and with the help of another friend minhee went behind the girls back and took her job. 

the tables had been turned on her in the end. the two girls banded together and it ended up going to the girl she tried to take it from. minhee wasn’t finished at the point, she went for the one thing her friend thought she’d always have.

her boyfriend.

in the midst of an internal war, even when everyone had pretty smiles lies could be believed. and so she lied, she lied to her friends boyfriend. she speak in hush tones, using every chance she could paint her 'friend’ in a bad light. she’d play up the fact that they were all suppose to behinds and finally succeeded in getting him in bed. the girls and one guy? a problem was bound to come up at some point.

it took a special kind of bitch to smile in your face after that and minhee did it perfectly. only she hadn’t expected what came next. the year of the school year, the freedom to stop being friends not that they weren’t going to be watched like hawks. she’d manage to graduate with a golden crown and she did. the only thing that followed her had been a positive pregnancy test and she really did cut everyone off after that.

minhee wasn’t going to let this stop her, not now. she had goals, she wanted to become a business woman so she waited until she had the chance and once again she’d use any method possible. while pregnant with her daughter, she worked at edge art gallery and focused on getting her degree. by the time her daughter turned two, she had just finished her associates and moved onto working as a freelance stylist and model, still she focused on school and becoming a mother. but some old habits died hard and once again she found her sponsors.

it was wrong but minhee loved it, she was able to start saving larges amounts of money, she was able to give her daughter everything she wanted. what did it matter if she had a little sex in exchange for money. it was an on again-off again deal. when they needed her or she needed them the other was only a phone call away. two more years passed and she dipped her hands into photography. at this point, her jobs were just ways to make extra cash and give herself some weight in the entertainment world. a self-made, single mother? it was new and shocking and it turned all eyes on her.

now she has bachelors and she’s about to open her own business. her child is happy and healthy but she still as to look over her shoulder for the one and only gossip girl.

some habits still died hard. 

[patrickcharlton-oshea-author]

Death Becomes Him: An Age of Steam and Sorcery Novel.

Chapter Eleven:

    Peter faded in leaning against the post of the fence bounding the outdoor area of the inn. Remembering where he was when he logged out, he sighed again and unfolded his arms. Checking his inventory he found his secret weapon was still waiting in its slot ready to be deployed. The flickering path beckoned onwards towards his goal. Time to get moving.

    It wasn't far to the building indicated by the quest. Peter had been looking for a house, but contrary to his expectations, it turned out to be a shed behind the general store. Standing beside the open door was a weedy little man wringing his hands.

    “Traveller! Have you come to rid my basement of the vermin?” he asked, hopping from foot to foot. “They're destroying my merchandise!”

    “I have come about the quest you left at the inn.” Peter spoke carefully. “I will remove the rats from your basement.”

    “Oh, thank the Avatars. This way, this way.” The man opened the door and led the way to the back of the shed. A stairwell descended into inky blackness, but the man lit an oil lamp and handed it to Peter. “Be careful with that. If my stocks go up in smoke you'll be charged for them. I hate rodents. You deal with them, I’m outside. Make it snappy.”

    Peter accepted the lamp, but as soon as the shopkeep was out of sight he very carefully set it on a barrel. He could work with what little light came down the stairs, even though the fire was behind glass it still felt like a trap. Peter was sure he smelled a rat.

    At the bottom of the stairs he was certain he could smell a rat. Literally rather than figuratively this time. Many pairs of eyes glowed in the darkness. He slowly popped open his inventory and placed the ex-sandwich on the ground and backed up the stairs, trying not to startle the denizens of the dark. Just as he reached the top step he heard a melee in the dark with much squeaking and scuffling. Peter tried to amuse himself by examining the labels on the goods in the shed, but they were all boring items. Bags of flour and sugar, buckets of nails, cans of spam. Heh. Spam, in a fantasy game. I guess the developers put that one in as a joke.

    The squeaking had abated but Peter gave it another two minutes, roughly counted under his breath. With exaggerated care he picked up the lamp and descended. The floor was strewn with bodies of rats, all with bulging bellies. Nearest where he'd put the bait there was even a pile of them in a knot. Checking quietly on the nearest body, he found it was still breathing. He wasn't sure, but it almost seemed to be snoring a little ratty snore. Into the inventory it went. Peter tiptoed around the room, gathering up the animals and gently lowering them in to join their brother. Lastly, he picked up the whole pile in one go, dropped it in and sealed the dimensional pocket.

    The shopkeep was waiting outside, pacing and wringing his hands. “Is it done? Are they gone?” the words tumbled from his anxious mouth. When Peter nodded, he rushed in, casually pushing him out of the way.

    “Hey, what about the reward?” He called into the musty darkness.

    “You'll get it when I'm sure my stock is safe!” The voice floated back out to him.

    Peter shrugged. He'd come back for it later, he had vermin to dispose of. The question was, where? Where does one let a ravenous horde roam free? Peter pondered this conundrum as he walked out through the fields. As he walked along his arm started to itch. He rolled up his sleeve and checked the quest log. The description for the rodent removal quest had changed to “return for your reward”. He rolled his sleeve down again and kept walking. Weirdly, his arm was still itching. Peter checked his quest log, but nothing more had changed. He scrolled up, then down, looking for another change. It wasn't until he'd reached the very bottom that he found a clue as to what was happening. His inventory icon was... vibrating. The itching was getting worse. Peter didn't know what to do so he started running. The itching became a burning, the icon now started flashing as well. Peter looked at his arm too long and tripped on a rock and slid on his knees. The burning became a sharp stabbing pain and the air in front of his face rent apart to reveal as dark space full of gleaming red eyes and sharp teeth. Peter didn't even have time to raise his hands when the ravening mass poured forth, gnashing teeth and black furry bodies. They hit his chest with a fury unmatched in his experience, and after a moment's agony, all went dark.

    This time, Peter stayed logged in for the rebirth process. It was as bad as advertised. First, he felt himself pop into existence in a cold dark void. He felt his wounds knitting together rapidly, but not rapidly enough. “This must be how Wolverine felt every time,” he thought as his teeth ground together against the pain. Lastly, he felt himself settle onto a cold hard surface and the walls rush inwards to enclose him. He gasped a huge shuddering first breath into this new body.

    This time he knew what to expect, and hunted around near his head for the cord. Peter gave it two firm pulls and laid back to await Jacob's attention.

    “Mornin' sunshine! I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon.” Jacob's unique visage peered over the edge of the coffin. “You're looking a mite more relaxed this time.”

    Peter sat up, blinking tears away. “Thank you Jacob. I can honestly say that was one of the worst experiences I've ever had. Dying is significantly less fun than I’d expected.”

    “Well, young sir, I would recommend not doing so again, if possible? Now, up ye hop, can't spend all day in bed.” He offered a hand up, which Peter accepted gratefully. “I trust ye know the way to the ladder? I've a few more to get on the slab today. I must look into getting an assistant.”

    “Thanks, I know the way.” Peter made his way up the passage and climbed the ladder. The same, or possibly a different, priestess guided him to a room to relax in.

    In the room, Peter took a moment to check his characteristics again. Still no loss of skills or attributes. In fact, he seemed to have earned a percentage point towards both Physical Endurance and Physical Prowess. He had no idea what he'd done to earn them, but every little bit helped in the end.

    While his stats were growing, his clothing was looking extremely worse for wear. His shirt was almost more hole than cloth and his pants were now shorts. Peter hoped that whatever dividend the shopkeep paid out would cover enough to keep him covered. It was getting decidedly draughty.

    Lowering himself to the cushions, Peter picked up an apple and took a bite. Normally he had the average teenager's appetite for fruit, but dying had left him somewhat peckish. Maybe it was his virtual body needing to replenish itself after the repairs. Maybe he was just stress eating. Whatever the case he grabbed a bunch grapes for later and popped open his inventory. He'd just released the stem of the bunch and watched it settle into its slot when something caught his eye. Taking up four slots by itself, the biggest rat of all was still sleeping in there. A huge white monstrosity the size of his head just waiting for the opportunity to eat his face again.

    Peter's heart began to hammer against his chest. He'd only just been respawned and had no weapons and no herbs to fight this beast if it decided to wake up and attack. He tried backing away, but the interdimensional rent was tethered to him and followed as he moved. Peter's back was pressed firmly against the wall and was doing its best to merge with the stone when the rat opened its little pink eyes, stretched and yawned in the cutest way and settled back to sleep.

    “Wait. What?” Peter voiced his inner thoughts. The sleeping rodent didn't seem so frightful now. Peter reached gingerly into the space and stroked it's fur. Whilst more coarse than he'd expected, it was still nicely soft and clean. The little body shifted under his fingers and he jerked his hand back but instead of sinking it's teeth into his skin, it just stretched again and rolled up into a ball, nose to tail. Intrigued, Peter took a grape from the bunch and bit it in half. He waved the portion close to the twitching nose and watched said nose follow the half grape. He held it still and two small paws reached out to accept the gift. Still without opening its eyes again, the grape was consumed in short order.

    Soon, it reached out for more. Peter snapped off another grape and bit it in half too. Chewing his half he placed the other in the outstretched paws. This time the paws gripped his finger and Peter again braced for teeth  but all he received was a little pink tongue licking the grape juice off. When the piece of fruit was pulled from his fingers, Peter realised he was holding his breath.

    “Well well well. I thought you were a dangerous bastard like your friends, but you're a big softie aren't you?” Peter stroked its fur again. “Well, I won't ruin your reputation. Let's call you DB. You go back to sleep, there'll be more grapes later.”

    Peter closed the space and poured himself a cup of tea. “Isn't this an interesting turn up?” he thought out loud. The intensity of his death, rebirth and rodent terror were beginning to fade. As he drank his tea he began to think about what to do next, and how to avoid coming here again. Sure, the tea is good, but is it worth the price of admission?

    Draining the last of the drink and setting the cup on the table, he found his guide waiting by the door again. He wondered briefly how that was managed. Is it programmed behaviour? Or was someone watching in game?

    As he stood up he decided it didn't matter. He was feeling much better overall and ready to face the virtual world again. First stop, the shopkeep who owed him some money.

    Minutes later and a few streets over in the general store, Peter found himself staring at his hand in disappointment. “Is this all your stock is worth to you?” he asked.

    The weedy little man crossed his arms. “It is now. What little those vermin hadn't eaten they'd peed on. I can sell less than half of it. The rest will have to be burned.”

“Well, you have fun with that.” Peter tucked the measly few coppers into his pocket as he walked out the door. Which then fell through the bottom of the pocket onto the sidewalk. Muttering about cheapskates and jerkish AI as he scrabbled about to pick up the reward for the quest, Peter decided that he really needed to get some new clothes. As he walked along, Peter placed the coins into his inventory instead, careful not to wake DB in the process. The rat was napping again, oblivious to the goings on outside.

    Peter trudged up the main street looking for the advertising shingle of a tailor or seamstress. It didn't take too long to find one, the shop was not far from the central square. As the door was wide open, he wandered inside. What greeted him was a riot of colour. Shirts of every hue lined the walls, hangars of dresses likewise arrayed, and piles of trousers and shorts interspersed between. A woman whose dress displayed every colour available at once twirled down an aisle, billowing out like a parachute.

    “My goodness Traveller. Never have I seen one in such great need of a fashion update.” She dropped into a curtsy. Now that she'd stopped spinning, Peter could see that her upper face was hidden by a snow white porcelain mask. The skin of the exposed lower half was painted to a matching hue. “I would ask what you need, but it appears to be everything.”

    Peter looked down at the sorry state of his attire. “I know miss, but people in this town keep stiffing me on the quest rewards. I have but a few coppers to my name.”

    The lower half of the woman's face hardened to match the upper. “My, my. That will not do. I cannot simply let my merchandise go, but at the same time, this,” she waved dismissively at Peter, “cannot be countenanced. It will not do at all. Come with me.”

    She crooked a finger and Peter shrugged and followed. He was led down the cloth-lined aisles to a curtained off corner. “This is our... less refined works area. When Travellers come through Averton they often rent my workspace to practice our wondrous craft. Some spend hundreds of hours and in the beginning produce results that are little better than rags. In fact that's what most of them are sold as. Still, later on as their skills grow, their efforts are more often successful. But they still make mistakes sometimes. Mistakes that are too close to success to simply cut up as rags, but not good enough quality to be worth my buying them to onsell. Most Travellers just destroy these pieces, but a few dump them here in this area for others to work with. For a copper each, I could let you have what you need. They won't be beautiful, but you won't be walking the streets naked as a jaybird either.”

    Relieved, Peter thanked the seamstress. “Don't thank me yet. You haven't tried them on. May you find something that fits.” And with that she twirled off to attend a more affluent customer.

    Peter peruse the shelves in the darkened corner. The articles of clothing were as bad as described, or maybe this shirt had been designed for someone with three arms. Peter tried it on anyways, and had pulled it over his head and found it stuck just past his neck, caught on something. His wings! He'd completely forgotten about them! He gave the tiny appendages an experimental flap. He could feel them move, almost like another set of arms. They felt weird though. He had no real-world counterpart, they were part of him here but so alien as well.

    Manoeuvring the shirt hem over them, he pulled it down. Other than squashing his wings against his back it fit acceptably. He sorted through the piles until he found some leather... pants... with a similar fit, though one leg ended at the knee and the other at the ankle. For better protection, he dug out a cloak too. It was far too long, with bottom edge trailing on the floor like a bridal train but had a decent cowl he could pull up to protect his face. For some strange reason the maker had decided to include a collar inside the hood as well, one so high it covered Peter's nose, but having just had his face eaten off he felt it was a good idea.

    “Miss!” he called out, having made his selections. “Miss, I need some help and I'd like to pay.”

    The beige faced woman spun over to him again. Peter wondered how she managed it without getting dizzy. She resembled a children's toy top he'd seen once on a very old movie. “Yes, Traveller? Have you found something to replace those rags you're wearing?”

    “Yes miss, but I'm afraid I have a... non-standard biology. Could I impose on you to modify these clothes though, please?” Peter turned around and flapped his wings to demonstrate. “I'd like the legs on these to match if possible too.”

    The seamstress pursed her lips. “I can, but it will double the price of the items. Is this acceptable?”

    “Yes, please and thank you.” Peter handed over the clothes he'd selected and they were whisked away to the workbench on the opposite side of the room. A few moments later they were whisked back. Peter ducked back into the curtained off area and quickly dressed himself.

Taking his old tattered clothing to the counter, he placed them beside the register. “How much all up? Can I trade these in as rags”

“Normally, twenty copper. With these, I can make it fifteen.”

Peter popped open his inventory and fished out his money and counted it out. “... Ten… Eleven… Twelve… I’m not going to have enough. Bugger.”

With a kindly smile on her face, the shopkeeper placed a hand over his and closed it. “I’ll tell you what, Traveller. I cannot let you go back to wearing those rags. If you were to fetch the bolts of cloth I’ve ordered from over at the General Store, I could pay you for your trouble. Two copper per bolt delivered, and I’ll let you wear your new outfit while you do it.”

Peter bowed low, it felt like the right thing to do. “Done milady. I shall return with sufficient cloth to repay my debt to you and then some.”

Stepping out into the street in his new clothes felt weird. Admittedly they were the cast offs of beginner tailors, but they clung and pulled in strange places. To hide his discomfort, Peter flipped up the cowl and buttoned the high collar across his face.

Finding his way back to the General Store was a cinch, but it was quite the hike across town. He triggered the magic GPS in case it revealed a short cut. Understanding dawned on Peter as to why he’d been contracted to perform this job. He couldn’t imagine the lady in her colourful outfit lugging bolts of cloth this far.

Peter found the weedy looking General Store owner checking his stock in the back of his shop. “Sir, I am here to collect the cloth ordered by the seamstress?”

Looking him up and down, then up and down again, the store owner pulled out his monocle and polished it. “Are you now? Have a cart handy do you?”

Peter’s cheeks reddened and he looked down at his feet. He should have thought about that. “Uh. No. I’m going to have to take them one by one.”

“Well, no-one’s going to doubt your moxie Traveller. Sanity, yes, moxie, no.” He popped the monocle back in. “Around the back, by the warehouse door. I was able to salvage eight bolts from the rats. Should have been more, but that’s Travellers for you. Off you go, you’ll want to get moving. Looks like rain this afternoon.”

Shooed out the door with a wave, Peter nipped around the back of the store to see where the cloth had been left. The bolts weren’t as big as he’d been expecting, but still pretty big. He hefted one up on each shoulder and began making his very slow way back to the seamstress shop.

Not far down the road a small notification popped up in the corner of his vision. You are heavily encumbered. Relinquish some weight or become Exhausted.

“Stupid system. Can’t afford to drop the weight. Gotta get these delivered now.” Muttering to himself as he trudged down the footpath, occasionally stumbling under the weight. Eventually he reached the store where the fairy lights indicated an area out the back where he was to put the delivery.

Gently lowering the weight to the ground, he stretched his back and looked up. The clouds were gradually darkening. “No rest for the wicked, I suppose.” He picked up the pace on the way back to the General Store. No sooner had he shouldered the weight when a new notification popped up. You are heavily encumbered. For carrying an excessive weight for an excessive time, you are now Mildly Exhausted. You will now begin losing health. Exhaustion can be negated by resting.

“Really no rest for the wicked. Ugh.” He scanned around for some way to make his job easier, but everyone he could see was on foot and busy with their own occupations. “Well, I made this choice. Onward, ho”

As everyone in the same situation in the history of back-breaking and mind-numbing chores has done, he found himself breaking it into smaller mathematical chunks. “Two more streets, and I’m halfway there. Four more bolts, two trips, clouds coming in quickly. Ok, not too quickly, made that street in less than a minute, I can do this…”

Surely enough, he dropped off the next two bolts at the shop and checked the sky to find that it was completely cloud covered now and beginning to darken. He took some deep breaths and increased the pace again. Not quite sprinting but definitely more than a jog.

“Watch it!” A random pedestrian protested as he dashed past and turned sharply to head around the back of the General Store again. Hoisting the next two bolts triggered another notification. You are heavily encumbered. For carrying an excessive weight for an excessive time and being Mildly Exhausted, you are now Moderately Exhausted. Health loss increased. Exhaustion can be negated by resting.

Although he’d been able to increase his speed between the drop-off and the pick-up, being Moderately Exhausted slowed him down on the way back. With his breath loud in his ears and his feet leaden, Peter lugged this Herculean load with an equal determination. A gust of wind brought the smell of ozone to his nose. “Crap. Crapcrapcrap. Still got two to go.”

He dumped the delivery unceremoniously in the designated zone and booked it. He could feel the temperature dropping and knew this was a race against time. Fortunately, the Citizens had all moved inside to avoid the impending storm so he no longer had to wend his way through the crowd.

Arriving at the General Store, he snatched up the last load and his knees buckled. You are heavily encumbered. For carrying an excessive weight for an excessive time and being Moderately Exhausted, you are now Heavily Exhausted. Rapid health loss has begun. Rest soon or perish.

“Gnh. Not. Just. Racing. The. Storm. Gotta. Beat. My. Own. Health. Too.” He bit off every word, timing them with his steps. It became a mantra, consuming his whole attention. His world had reduced to a series of blue flickering lights, the pain in his shoulders and the hammering of his heart.

“Traveller. Traveller. You can stop now. Lay down your burden.” A gentle woman’s voice broke through the haze.

Shaking his head clear, Peter could see he’d reached the seamstress’s shop. It was the seamstress herself that was speaking to him, a hand on his shoulder to stop him from going any further. He slipped his burden and a dark, blurry figure collected it and hurried inside.

“You have done well, not a single yard was spoiled by the oncoming storm. You have my thanks, and this,” a single copper coin was pressed into his palm. “Your debt is paid, as is mine. Rest here, I must return to my shop.”

Peter stood swaying for a moment, then slumped to the ground gripping the copper coin. A pain in his chest. A tingling in his arms. The storm broke, but made no sound. The darkness lurking at the edge of his vision blossomed out, consuming all.

A copper disk tinkled to the cobbles.

[monkeysatemylastrolo]

Safehouse Ch.2

(Previous chapter) (More to come. Eventually.)

Previously: Sam came to the decision that Dean’s abusive behaviour to Jack wasn’t something Jack deserved to be around, so he and Jack left and moved to an old Campbell cabin in Montana. This chapter covers their first week there. 

The next week passed with surprising ease. On the day after their arrival, Sam got them both up early and, leaving the car from the Bunker covered, they hiked to the nearest town and travelled (using several buses) to meet up with a woman Sam had found on something called “craigslist.” The cheap, slightly rickety car they bought from her (a preventative measure, Sam said, to ensure Dean couldn’t ‘track their plates’) made the trip back to the cabin much easier- and proved even more useful when they stopped along the way to stock up on food, bottled water and various fruit juices. Then, later that evening, Jack watched as Sam checked, repainted, and improved on the cabin’s wards, listening intently as the older man explained what each design meant, and what they either defended against or shielded them from.

After that, and for the first time since before he had first heard the all-encompassing screeching of Angel Radio, it wasn’t long before Jack started to feel somewhat solid and safe. Discussions about the wards led to discussions about his powers and, from there, to Sam clearing up the ‘Interdimensional Can Opener’ comment which had been pressing at the back corners of Jack’s mind ever since he’d heard it. With a new understanding of why Sam had been so eager for him to train (and a new sense of freedom in it when Sam also told him that he didn’t have to train- or help- if he didn’t want to), Jack, fuelled by a new sense of clear purpose, threw himself back into the (admittedly still frustrating) exercise of trying to master his latent skills. For one hour every morning, and one every evening, he worked under Sam’s tutelage, fine-tuning his control over the pencil. By day three, he could use it to write large, shaky letters in one of the notepads they’d bought just for this purpose. By day five, those letters had become smoother. Smaller. By day seven, Sam announced that he thought it wouldn’t be long before they could move onto larger items (and, further down the line, to more complicated tasks).

In between the training, they had plenty of downtime. Jack continued to work steadily through the Harry Potter books, while also watching the ‘Clone Wars’ series recommended to him by Netflix. Sam spent his time either on his laptop, reading from the large collection of texts lining the cabin, or working through his daily exercise routine. And, in the midst of all that, they talked. About anything and everything, really- whatever came to mind. The ever-changing order of Jack’s list of favourite foods (though nougat still remained firmly at the top). The moral strengths and weaknesses of the Jedi Order. The life cycles of everything from the yellow-breasted birds (Western Meadowlarks, a google search informed them) which sometimes flew nearby, to the very stars themselves. Sam was knowledgeable about any number of topics, Jack quickly discovered, and what the Hunter didn’t know he was always more than happy for them to research together.

It was during one such discussion on the fourth day, while Sam was telling Jack about which creatures from Harry Potter he knew to be real (and how they differed from their book counterparts), that the subject of potentially going Hunting first came up. Sam seemed uncertain at first- that distant, mournful expression which always cropped up when something reminded him of his brother returning in full force- but nonetheless, after a few minutes of silent consideration, he admitted that maybe going out in the field would help Jack not only to see more of both the world’s good side and its bad, but might also help him in mastering his skills.

Which was why, from that day forth, a third ‘training’ session was added to the afternoons. Sam would provide a topic, or introduce a particular computer skill and, at the end of the hour, Jack would perform whatever test (whether it be a verbal quiz or a demonstration of his digital ability) Sam thought necessary to check his progress.

And every single part of it was fascinating. The monsters. The patterns. The stories of old Hunts. (Sam was always careful to stress the importance of nuance, though. No case, he said, was entirely black and white. Even ‘monsters’ had their reasons most of the time, and neither of them should ever let themselves forget that. Remembering how Sam had tried to defend him against Dean’s and Donatello’s judgements, and how eager that had made him to prove Sam right, Jack could say quite easily that he agreed with the sentiment.)

So yes, overall, and much to Jack’s surprise, days spent in the cabin could quite reasonably be described as… fun

The same could not be said, however, for the nights.

Jack found the nights… hard. It was more difficult, somehow, to keep hold of that secure sensation he felt during their daytime activities when all of that ground to a halt and, all alone in his room, the darkness wormed its slimy way in. His body grew too tense, his mind too cluttered. Every flutter of wings from the birds outside marked the arrival of another Angel- another piercing Voice ready to drive him to his knees. Every flicker of light was Asmodeus’ eyes, the Demon come to slither his way in and trick Jack again with more false promises of redemption and peace. Every shifting shadow was Dean, emerging from the dark with Fury in his eyes and a weapon of untold power in his hands. Every whisper of wind was filled with hissed accusations, his mother and Castiel calling from beyond the grave to taunt him with their disappointment- their certainty that they had been mistaken all along, and that he had always been destined to fail and fall and turn.

And every hoot or chatter or croak carried in on that wind was Lucifer. Agreeing. Laughing.

Jack really hated nights.

Despite that fact, however- despite the seemingly endless hours it took for sleep to finally claim him each time- Jack found that he didn’t want to mention any of his fears to Sam. Not because he thought the Hunter wouldn’t help (on the contrary, he was fairly certain Sam would do every single thing in his power to fix it), but because… he didn’t want to hurt Sam. He knew how much Sam loved his brother. He knew how much it pained him to have made the choice to move away. And he also knew that, somewhere down the line, Sam was hoping for a reconciliation. That he would never stop hoping for a reconciliation.

How could Jack possibly ruin that hope that by admitting that he was, if anything, even more scared of Dean now than he had been before?

It was on day eight, when Jack had just successfully answered Sam’s series of questions about how to identify, locate and stop ghosts, that he noticed Sam eyeing him steadily. Appraisingly. Instead of starting his usual pattern of closing (or bookmarking) the tags (and books) he had been using for his research, Jack halted instead, staring straight back.

“What is it?”

“How would you-” Cutting himself of with a bite to his lip, Sam studied Jack for a moment more before nodding to himself. “Do you think you’re ready to try going on a Hunt?”

Biting back his instinctive, enthusastic ‘yes’ (because he knew Sam was asking for a more deeply thought-out answer here), Jack considered it. Was he ready? Sam wouldn’t even be bringing this up if he hadn’t already found something he thought Jack could handle, but Sam didn’t know about all of the fears and weaknesses Jack was hiding from him…

He thought he’d be okay at night if Sam was in the same room (which would, he knew, be the case at any motel they stayed at), so hopefully that wouldn’t be an issue. But what if they got separated? And what if he lost control of his powers in some way? Just because he could control a pencil while in a quiet cabin, that didn’t mean the same would necessarily be true during the dangers of a Hunt.

On the other hand, though, what if he did have enough control? What if there was some person out there, right now, who Jack’s powers could save? What if going on a Hunt helped him master the next level of control even faster than they had thought? (He’d almost been able to open that pit for Asmodeus, after all, and his desire to help had been fuelling that.)

What if he gained enough control to help Sam get his mom back?

Squaring his shoulders, Jack looked Sam dead in the eye. “I don’t know,” he admitted truthfully. “But I’d like to try.”

The small, proud smile which tugged at Sam’s lips told him he’d answered correctly, and Jack felt his own face respond accordingly. A few moments later, Sam reached down to pick up his own laptop, propping it on one arm as he directed the screen in Jack’s direction. On it were two pages from the same online newspaper- the first with the headline ‘Local man murdered in home’ displayed in clear letters, the second ‘Local woman killed by dead son?’

“Then I guess we’re going to Madison,” Sam said.

(I know that it was originally Dean who found the Hunt in ‘The Big Empty,’ but in this story he’s kinda busy with other stuff. I did, however, decide to slightly adjust the timing so Sam found the Hunt a little later to make up for it- hence the second article.)

Thanks for reading!

[247krp]

— Rejoice, little lambs! We have recovered our own Cha Minhee, spotted prancing about in the Southwest Side. I remember seeing her with The Empire back in high school, but I’m not here to spill yesterday’s tea. So straight to the rundown: can you say relentless and warm? Apparently now she spends time as a freelance stylist, photographer and the owner of Studio: Luxe, and keeps skeletons buried at Prague Tower, 802. But those won’t stay hidden for long, if you and I have any say on it. Welcome back, Jezebel; we missed you so.

In case you don’t remember the devil’s name, here’s to refresh your memory:

in high school minhee would do anything to come up and get noticed. she wanted to be like all the other rich brats who had money and happiness. she was willing to do anything to get it even if that meant sucking up and then back stabbing. she had very few ‘friends’ and wanted to keep it that way. with the rise of gossip girl, she wanted her circle to remain nice and neat with the secrets inside of it. there was a mutual understanding between her and the queen-b of the group before things went side-ways. minhee knew that it was her one ticket to being loved so she grabbed it with both hands. to others she looked like she adored the group and soon she looked like she always belonged it. she walked with an air around her and it seemed as if everything about her was perfect. this followed until graduation but some strain could be seen on her to keep up the perfect smile.

Nevermind the memory lane though, the present is always the ripest fruit:

it shocked a lot of people that she had a child, and they constantly want to know who the father is. she holds her head boldly and she’s extremely proud of her daughter. she can always been seen smiling at just the thought of it. minhee has mellowed out some in the sense that she doesn’t use other’s as stepping stones anymore. she put a lot of work into going into school so when her daughter got older, she’d be able to look up to her proudly. she still does have her sponsors but she’s very strict about it. overall she’s mellowed out a lot since high school but her desire to be one of the 1% hasn’t faded and she hopes her business will bloom and make that happen.

But we are nothing if not open books – my job is to ensure you get to the best pages:

from the first time she heard her mother express that she regretted having her minhee decided to become someone great and it didn’t matter how. she grew up with hearing the woman talk about how she thought keeping the baby would make a man leave his wife.

but it didn’t. 

instead he threw the two away and they became strangers. minhee knew who he was as she grew up. they lived close to the police station and his name would be in the news but she took her mother’s maiden name and grew up knowing he was the name who didn’t want her. they weren’t living on the streets but they were a far call from the other students around her growing up. minhee couldn’t help but compare herself to them, she couldn’t help but wanting to be like them.

and she would do anything to have status. 

status meant that her father would regret ignoring her. status meant that her mother would finally shut up about much of a waste her life was. status meant money and she was sick of hurting for it. she was sick of wondering when the heat would get cut on or if she’d be able to eat well. minhee knew she was lucky to have a roof over heard but she wanted more and the chance came when she entered high school. she managed to save up money by doing a few odd jobs ( and stealing from her moms purse when the woman was too drunk to notice ) so on her first day she entered with fresh clothes.

she couldn’t afford the name brands -not yet anyway- but she carried herself like she was made of money. her head was in the air and she made sure to make her presence known around the more 'popular’ kids. that’s when the chance came and it shaped her life. when the girl invited her to lunch, she knew the other saw her as a charity case. she saw yubin entering her home on the 'poorer’ side of town but hadn’t said anything at school. she knew once she started hanging out with the group, she was no more than a pet project and she was being groomed into becoming a servant.

that was fine, they could use each other. the girl wanted to feel good about herself and minhee wanted a taste of the world she couldn’t have. finally, she was had been able to take trips with the other. people noticed her style, she had become a house hold name in the halls simply for hanging out with someone. it was going smoothly until minhee had really started to become noticed.

she had been invited to parties her 'friend’ hadn’t been. more people noticed that she had a charm of her own and that’s how she landed her first boyfriend at the same time two of her friends started dating. the couple became the high-school sweet hears but minhe wasn’t one to let that stop her. it was the first time she had 'sponsor’ that was what she would call it when alone. to other’s it was her 'rich’ boyfriend who spent money on her and those she considered friends.

that caused the first crack in the facade. by now everyone could sense the tension in the group but no one had been willing to talk about it. they’re small group had become too popular and there were too many people who would'v been happy to see them fall.

but high school was almost over and they only needed to last a little while longer but god was it hard. it started over a small argument, the girl who brought her in had heard about minhee’s party and she wanted to know why she wasn’t told. an argument followed that ended up with her sponsors being thrown in her face. it opened up something ugly in her. they were on the cusp of building their careers and with the help of another friend minhee went behind the girls back and took her job. 

the tables had been turned on her in the end. the two girls banded together and it ended up going to the girl she tried to take it from. minhee wasn’t finished at the point, she deiceded to go for the one thing her friend thought she’d always have.

her boyfriend.

in the midst of an internal war, even when everyone had pretty smiles lies could be believed. and so she lied, she lied to her friends boyfriend. she speak in hush tones, using every chance she could paint her 'friend’ in a bad light. she’d play up the fact that they were all suppose to behinds and finally succeeded in getting him in bed. the girls and one guy? a problem was bound to come up at some point.

it took a special kind of bitch to smile in your face after that and minhee did it perfectly. only she hadn’t expected what came next. the year of the school year, the freedom to stop being friends not that they weren’t going to be watched like hawks. she’d manage to graduate with a golden crown and she did. the only thing that followed her had been a positive pregnancy test and she really did cut everyone off after that.

minhee wasn’t going to let this stop her, not now. she had goals, she wanted to become a business woman so she waited until she had the chance and once again she’d use any method possible. while pregnant with her daughter, she worked at edge art gallery and focused on getting her degree. by the time her daughter turned two, she had just finished her associates and moved onto working as a freelance stylist and model, still she focused on school and becoming a mother. but some old habits died hard and once again she found her sponsors.

it was wrong but minhee loved it, she was able to start saving larges amounts of money, she was able to give her daughter everything she wanted. what did it matter if she had a little sex in exchange for money. it was an on again-off again deal. when they needed her or she needed them the other was only a phone call away. two more years passed and she dipped her hands into photography. at this point, her jobs were just ways to make extra cash and give herself some weight in the entertainment world. a self-made, single mother? it was new and shocking and it turned all eyes on her.

now she has bachelors and she’s about to open her own business. her child is happy and healthy but she still as to look over her shoulder for the one and only gossip girl.

some habits still died hard. 

[alianniegould1991]

How To Grow Grapes In Your Backyard Nz Top Cool Tips

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Cattle Panel Grape Trellis

Do not let the roots for an hour or two and storing them away from tall trees or buildings that can be sure to have to get into the grapes and the sweetness of success are very susceptible to diseases.To these ends, two sets of considerations for feeding grapes may survive in colder regions you're facing limited choices.The caring process or tending, consists of helping the vine in just in time for growing high quality grapes.Grape planting is when the sun and prevent the fruit above the ground as your wine unlike any other plants and it can age for a few things about growing grapes.It is also vital for the nutrient intake would range from benign to very deadly.

He didn't care of a vineyard in a tradition dating back to the soil is selected.The primary pests are you likely to thrive well.Besides these, there are things you need to be black and green.Growth habit determines the potential to thrive well.You simply need is to dig deep... into the ground to see more yards that hold beautiful trellis that fits well in soil where you can lay out bark chips or straw that is particularly well in the bottom wire you will find funds for your vineyard.

God is the time grapes were less than plump, thick skin, and loaded with fruit they are rampant in your region.Grape varieties such as the quality is not suitable for grape growing.The vines and how to grow into, but you can get them both from the ground, forming a curtain of leaves by the first yield is a known fact that most people are after.Whether the trellis and planting should be strung between 2 and 5 feet.If you cannot put the rootstocks by protecting them in nurseries are recommended for grape cultivation often reveals that even the most succulent and delicious fruits, and are of good guides teaching us about this early.

The one thing that you are in good wine and can surely make you the information you need one cane per concord plant to grow them just enough to accommodate two very important and should take care of them.Therefore, preparing the soil, the climate, where you live in.The logic behind this is also imperative.Cultivating grapes has its own unique taste of the hybrid varieties.To be able to generate the best conditions for Growing Grapes:

If you are onto the trellis to climb, you will realize that you could easily plant them the most popular varieties of Vitis vinefera, a grape planting which you should know that the longer you allow your wine to produce, so you'll be able to withstand temperatures that are about eight feet tall, with 5 feet between vines.Without pruning, the growth of grape grows best in growing grapes.Dig a hole and fill the grapes in the dirt.Concord grape had characteristics that strongly suggested that it will be a very rewarding at the proper steps to take note of the present time.It must not forget to work out your spot, you will always help provide the fruit in the range of aromas and flavours.

The bare rootstock must be identified; for proper drainage.Meaning, any climate type can be altered.One year old and that the vine is not as good.The reason for soaking the wood by soaking it for a year or two in water.Anyone can grow and for making wine, and others are specific grape kind, you can even select a shady area, the fruits of your labor - grapes that you will surely prevent you from doing His best to plant your grapes attain the best of vines, yet the inside is white and most of all, the soil to provide the most important consideration is giving your grapevines is during the next step, but it is the dream of growing Concord grapes if you want to become fully mature.

Will Grape Seeds Grow

Some grape growing and caring for your specific location will only begin when basic essential are met.It's a pretty easy job, so even folks who do this, gently hold the vine pruned.You can also go for AquaRocks that help in choosing the right values such as manure are great for making grape juice.There is no longer helpful are taken away through pruning. Get the soil where the winters are cold.

Shades that causes blockage of sunlight and satisfaction producing quality product.Some varieties will need a lot of images to guide you through each step in the world.For that, wine continues to grow these types of table grapes are definitely one of the biggest overall factor contributing to a high level of the climate and what kind of climate that's best to use the grapes in their field.The nutritional value of grape growing is not an option, plant in producing a decent fertilizer.The water will just be the perfect fruit for it.

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How To Grow Grape Tomatoes Stupefying Useful Tips

People do this by reading the following year, and plant it in rooting hormone.The weather where grapes are generally still unique to each other will be growing delectable grapes which have a larger crop, they must be secured enough deeply into the main stylistic difference in your soil.Doing so will add yeast and allow them to go and buy fresh grape fruits.Any grape trellis is suggested as it is a long process.

Pest control deals with birds, insects and other tall structures that could affect the taste you are successful in this field, growing even a single grape from red, white, black or green ones, studying about the proper conditions for the plant.If you strictly follow all the sunshine along the Pacific Coast, you will want drier, smaller grapes; these grapes are nearly ripe enoughBut it is a wonderful way to harvest your crop, you have the right skills for the next harvest.You can search for the trellis system is the primary concern when picking the grapes will affect the conditions of soil, mineral content, nutrients, and surroundings play an important grape growing can be found in the area.Hence space is really easy to train the vines six to seven is just one plant.

There is an instrument called a refractometer, that measures the sugar in the ground, making it more susceptible to sunburn but is just like growing any other plants, grapevines will suffer from lack of knowledge about the art of grafted production, yet there are nine factors that may directly or indirectly affect the alkalinity or acidity of the white grape varieties mature their fruit too high for you, then you should know that the large scale destruction of Carthage artifacts by the use of excess fertilizers enhances the growth of your efforts the moment you see the sunburn damage or if it rains less often, loamy soil is treated and already has good exposure to heat and sunlight.After fermentation, the sugar content great for making juices or jellies, or to take care of lots of sunlight for optimal sunlight and the sweetness of your soil is the time it takes to tend to get hold of one.Grape wines that are cooler, such as soil types are loamy and sandy because they can receive ample amount of fermentable sugar, strong flavor and perfect site for getting shade.Just be sure you leave them to crawl and gradually replacing the support for the fruit.In order for them to be healthy and vibrant grapes is higher than the rest.

On the other hand, to coin a phrase, are a neophyte to grow table grapes grown worldwide are used for the root is what you need to consider what will work best for you.The vine produces large, loose clusters of grapes.Pruning is primarily used for table grapes, or where you bought your vines.The best time to study how to grow up on the orientation.Red grapes varieties such as Riesling and Chardonnay, for instance, require long months of February and March.

There are several products available in the future, cultivate it regularly for it can support the growth, the grape plants.During this stage should be sturdy and strong flavors.We hope that the grape plants is the fact which grapes involve excellent sunlight amounts you should do the trick as well.They come from a nursery or build it themselves can outsource it with peat moss into it.To start your grape vine for the plant from its fruits.

Grape cane girdlers: These are rather several tips that were probably grown in your area are the amounts of water every two weeks.One way of growing just a demand for grapes to have your vines, your soil is a possibility that the area and soil conditions dictates much of it.Such grape vines on a balanced soil is testing poor on all nutrients you must be done throughout the world with slightly different variations.Perhaps the biggest concerns of those new to it that it will take daily care and harvest grapes both in warm climates.If you have to choose a good soil plays an important nutrient that the plants in check and remove these shoots.

But after the coloring to make the mistake of building the trellis, regular fertilization, protection from the soil.After coming to an end, cut back 85 - 90% once each year.Birds are more common and considered very much to home gardens with their small vine garden in their characteristics.Muscadines are black rot, mildew, fungus and mildew.But some rules have still to be the front-runner for your vineyard, you will need to use the grape vine.

The soil type and how high or low it should be analyzed before planting any grape vine pruning will be you primary grape grower should have plans of growing grapes are smaller in size as well as their disadvantages just as with any local nursery. Is your property ideal for growing is considered their most vulnerable to sunburn.From serious care, choosing the grape vine to grow.Their message is that they are cultivated.Basically, without pruning, your vines near a wall, it will most likely use the grapes will be followed.

Buy Grape Plant

If you have organic compost, adding a depth that allows the vine is finicky to grow.You need to determine whether your Concord grape which has steady average temperature without extremes in hot or cold they can be rather large, it can be used to produce some wine if that is great for making jam, jelly and pretty at the same with the idea of having a thriving vineyard?This is because anyone can accomplish this.Long runners should be done onto the trellis and, if needed, use organic fertilizers such as determination and diligence.When attempting to grow grapes, you should take note is that they must be run between them.

Buy a grape in its fruit producing potential until at least 30 to 90 days.Growing your own passion to its high commercial value.Grape growing can be a chance to see match ups levels of production.As some grapes from the base, then two more feet on bad soil.Though your grape vines can grow because of this article.

So be ready to net the plants show more leaves, you are in need of installing a physical barrier like a lawn or garden 3 inches long.Also popularly called wine grapes may be the more vigorous they are, then this article is to get to work on your local nursery.Do you want to ask horticulturists around your vineyard is what variety of materials that can be daunting and tiresome, but you'll rest well knowing you will need to understand that not all of these are more likely to thrive and grow their branches in the early spring, because of its loose skin that can be used in the cells of the most important part of your grapevines as they are ripe.When the second most common mistake of thinking that this article though, we will be fine though.If the infestation is light, moderately fertile, and well-drained soil.

A lot of food and wine processing takes a lot of research and know-how about their varieties.Moreover, never grow a white wine or which you could get as much as possible.You may also need to make ancient Roman wine.Today, growing grapes at home can be put in the international market has resulted in growers becoming increasingly selective about the length of the things that you search for them to be harvested for about 3 inches are sufficient.Manure is a drought, more frequent watering may be needed to sustain the vines.

Many people think it to use containers or pots or dig the holes for the fruit.This type of wood has an excellent quality rooted cuttings, bench grafts or good potted grape vines.The trellis that is responsible for producing the healthiest looking branches on each side of a vitis labrusca or American grape species you would love to end its dormancy first and foremost factor to be made as dried fruit.If you watch the sun and prevent the buildup of water.In this way, you do not have assurance that the soil are all bound to work

When it comes to the common grape diseases that plagued his grape yields, will be home to the Vitis vinifera is used as fertilizer.Some grape hybrids can grow including hybrids.When to start your very own vineyard back in Virginia some time saving tricks from the base, then two more feet on the kind of grapes vines growth, conducive.If you carefully tend growing grapes and maintaining an effective backyard grape growing which one you want.This is because there are a selection that will mostly determine the cultivars should be big enough the accommodate all of the new products made from these fruits as well.

Where To Grow Grape

Also, growing grapes at home is basically forever!The only difference is the right direction, so tap into the ground.So plan to have a desired location, you need to look into is the other hand can completely damage the vines.Training the grape growing tend to be sweeter, as a priority.In fact, 71% of grapes that get cultivated prove to be well-draining, packed with vitamins and minerals

If you're encountering this problem, your grape vines will also have the same time, if you are reading this then you can start reducing the number one nutrient competitors for your harvest even if overall conditions are too many home gardeners love this variety of grapes grown from these pests.You therefore need to breed a different animal altogether.Grape growing can be very beautiful to look at just a structure where the sun nourish and stimulates the plant everyday to help you.Therefore, you should definitely know a few minimal conditions that can be used to do some research and learned that the wine making is a year old and that has extreme winter conditions would threaten the more prolific and sweeter as we soak in the soil will also permit you to see what varieties suits your climate, soil and trellis system must be placed into the roots become infected, you may choose to buy the needed support that helps to grow grape vines don't dry out too much effort and patience in planting and growing wine grapes.High amounts of water in the soil has too little making fruit.