#lmfao i took off the trust no one on his back because i was like idk why mermaid ed would have human writing on him.....

[ofmdee]

81 pics in my part 30 folder, 38 made it into the chapter itself 😂

i might cut down the sexy stuff, idk, the chapter is 7.2k words before editing lmfao, and when i edit i usually add more to each scene

but also who is gonna complain about a longer sex scene? 😂

much 2 ponder

gonna try to get this edited over the weekend!!! 😤

catch up before the next chapter drops~!

[kaisentine]

𝒲HAT IS THAT MELODY?

turn that shit up ! what popular song do bllk boys remind me of?

feat. michael kaiser, itoshi sae, mikage reo, itoshi rin, oliver aiku

note : YES… i did do research on what the songs’ meanings are and i understand some of them don’t fit as well but i’m also basing this off of certain lyrics as well so #don’tdiscriminate… also this has opened up my multi-character works 😁 expect more in the future LMFAO. also is this the right time to say i did not proofread

💿 MICHAEL KAISER is now playing… back to the basics by lana del rey (unreleased)

cw : uhm coercion (i think), implied toxic relationship (I LOVE KAISER DONT GET ME WRONG… but he’s still poopy anyway #keepingitreal☹️) + if you count that in, then there’s angst if you squint, thoughts of killing (JUST ONCE and it’s not serious, promise!)

“everybody’s saying that you’re no good for me”

it’s not hard to decipher you’re definitely in love with the star soccer player—michael kaiser. however, even with your rose-tinted glasses, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still an asshole. so now it honestly feels like it’s you and him (probably ness too) v.s your friends. they just don’t understand the euphoria hidden behind all his lies. but God was it hard to handle him now that he’s a hotshot within the athletic world—it’s like when you try to speak to him, he starts spewing nonsense and even more lies to you.

“c’mon, hase.” his plea sounds more like demanding no matter how hard he tried to sound convincing. it’s weird seeing a man like him on his knees begging so you avert your gaze with your arms crossed. you know you’re doomed to give into him and his sweet-talk again—like you always do—kaiser knows that, he just needs to find which button to press to make you give in faster.

this time you’re taking longer than you normally do. he’s starting to get impatient by your little game of trying to get rid of him. “kaiser… we can’t keep doing this anymore.” you finally say, something kaiser didn’t expect you to say. “last name basis already, huh?” he gets up from his (very awkward) position to tower over you—to intimidate you.

you try to stand your ground but with the way he’s looking at you, is it too late to run away?

“i know what you’re trying to do. my friends keep telling me.” you’re stubborn, aren’t you? you’re annoying when you’re like this, he hates it. “and you’re really listening to your friends over your boyfriend?” he keeps trying to talk but you cut him off, “ex-boyfriend. please, don’t do this.” you’re the one begging now and he really wishes he could relish in this sight forever.

SLAM

holy shit, did you just slam the door on him? i’m going to die—you think. kaiser chuckles on your porch after being met with your front-door i’m going to kill you—he thinks.

the next few weeks are bombarded by countless messages from ness. who you are quite acquainted with him because of kaiser. all of them are along the lines of ‘trust me, he’s changed’ they’re all full of bullshit that you can smell it and scrunch your nose up in disgust. but as fate would have it, it wasn’t on your side!

“took ‘ya long enough, hase.” the sickly sweet nickname rolls off his tongue like second nature. it’s a very familiar scene, he’s on your doorstep again. he’s towering over you and your eyes are glossed over with admiration and guilt. “‘m really sorry.” you try not to sniffle to keep it cool. you really despise the way kaiser can’t keep his stupid grin off of his face at your weak attempt not to cry. “aw, it’s okay. but it’s gonna take a lot for me to forgive you.” he says in faux concern before pulling you into a hug—his cologne filling up your senses and making it hard to breathe.

the urge to punch him in the stomach is futile by the way he basically crushes your bones in the hug. oh you hate the way you can never get rid of him, oh you hate the way you give into him, oh you hate the way he’s the one wanting the apology when it’s actually you who deserves such privilege.

‘i hate you but i really just hate the way i love you too much to let go.’

because eventually, you know you’ll always fall into his traps no matter how far you run away. however, the only thing on your mind is how you’ll never hear the end of it from your friends.

💿 ITOSHI SAE is now playing… no one noticed by the marias

cw : angst, hurt/little to no comfort (guys… please don’t burn me), OK but open-ending, uh sae might be a really super big asshole here, i also realized at the end that 7 weeks and 3 days by yungatita would’ve been better but YOLO

“come on, don’t leave me, it can’t be that easy, babe.”

as much as you’d like to make him stay, you know he wouldn’t. he wanted to be as free as a bird in the sky with no restraints—including a relationship. even after promising one day he’d come back, reassuring you that you’ll always be his answer, he then left without a trace. now you’re just starting to realize letting go is easier than it seems until the problem arises once again.

you know he already told you that he’d come back but why only now does he decide to show up? a lover of yours to whom you vowed to never love another before his return. it’s just been so long that you doubt he evens remembers the promise.

“didn’t think you’d actually turn up.” you spit out, he isn’t even phased by the malice in your tone. “i told you i would, didn’t i?” he responds. “yeah but that was like ten fucking years ago?” you emphasize the ten fucking years because seriously, ten years radio silence and he thinks he can just slide back into you life like that? he must be a crazed man.

for the first three years of those ten, you were content with waiting for him. the fourth and fifth, you began growing impatient. sixth, you felt like you didn’t care anymore. from the seventh to ninth year, you swore you hated him with a dagger aimed to your heart. lastly, on the tenth year (on which he decided to show up), you finally accepted he did not give a shit and that you shouldn’t either.

“i needed to prioritize my career before i could support any of my relationships.” he now sounds confused by the way you’re so upset at this situation.

he used the ten years you took to realize that dwelling on some dumb red-head wasn’t worth it to work on his soccer career? “you could’ve texted.” you retorted. “didn’t have the time to.” your jaw actually wants to drop by how ignorant his response is. he’s talking to the person he ghosted for a decade like this?

you’d like to joke around and say ‘damn sae, you’re just like an ex who slides back into your life’ but it isn’t a joke—not with him, at least. “didn’t have time to? it would’ve been better if you never had the time to. just let us go, itoshi.” the way you say his last name is deadly. he’s already been bitten by a snake once before so he knows he can survive your bite.

does he even know how much you sacrificed? did he put two and two together to realize how much he made an impact to you? so much so that at one point, anything would’ve reminded you of him.

“you’re being emotional, talk to me when you aren’t.” he says as if he wasn’t the one who started the conversation—the nerve!

“my number is the same but change the last digit to 8.” and off he goes, removing himself from your life like always.

the way you’re quietly dialing the phone that night completely destroys everything you worked for—like you’re crumbling down just for the thought that he might pick up.

💿 MIKAGE REO is now playing… show me how by men i trust

cw : guys it’s getting too angsty for me i might cry, still a lil angst and neglect but it’s not that bad 😭, i acc wrote this one last bc i didn’t know which song to use for him (my first option was shameless by avenoir), when i was writing this… i was thinking abt melania and trump’s relationship (WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE.), reader eats meat… anyway… so this is significantly worse than everyone elses so uhm, cliff hanger who!

“show me how you care.”

everyone keeps commenting on how lucky you are that you managed to bag a billionaire’s son and you say thanks! because that’s how you should respond. but dear God, does he even know anything about you anymore? being in a chokehold relationship with mikage corp’s heir isn’t too hard until you start questioning reo’s love for you. yeah he’s shown you how he loves you but you need more words instead of actions and a credit card.

“reo, can we talk?” you ask the purple-haired male while he’s hard at work at his desk. “i’m a bit busy right now. we can talk later, yeah? go out and use my card as an apology.” he hums before returning his vision back to whatever he was doing. it’s the typical response you were expecting but you didn’t want to use his money—you wanted to talk.

you’ve already exited the room to go to the mall anyway. you’re left eating alone at some restaurant with shopping bags being used as your excuse for some company. the steak you ordered is bland like the way reo hugs you. his touches feel empty now, every time you go to hold his hand, he doesn’t flat out reject it but he doesn’t squeeze your hand the same way you do—the same way he used to.

one thing about reo is that it seems like he hates communication and in his world, the only way he knows how to say sorry is his credit card.

he doesn’t care, does he?

when you get back to his place, he acts like he doesn’t remember the way you said that you wanted to talk. he keeps trying to put off that talk for as long as he can. it’s gotten to the point you have that stupid look on your face—cheeks being slightly puffed out with your eyebrows furrowed. reo hates the look on your face so he approaches you with caution.

“you good?” he asks but you don’t respond. “need a hug?” he just keeps talking to the point you feel like something is boiling in your head. you shake your head to say no because you’ve started to dislike his emotionless hugs—feels like you’re hugging a log with brittle twigs. how would he feel like if you gave him the same treatment he’s given you? although, it is a bit more serious because you aren’t speaking to him at all.

his time will come where you grace him with your voice one again but that’s only when he actually asks you to talk to him! in his invisible diary, he write ‘it’s been 3 days since they’ve spoken to me, i can’t see through my right eye…’ sure he’s being more than overdramatic but he can’t figure out why you’re giving him the silent treatment.

oh but little did you know, he remembers that you did want to speak with him…

“can you just speak to me, please?” the way he says please is intoxicating to you. you’re waiting.

“fine. let’s have that talk.”

💿 ITOSHI RIN is now playing… lovers rock by tv girl

cw : unrequited love, angst, reader should go to r/aita 😭, uh kissing, this one is longer but rin isn’t even in my favs 😭

“because love can burn like a cigarette”

and it only hurts because you know you can’t have him. you’d love to kiss him right now but you understand that if you do then your whole life would probably blow up into a million pieces. it hurts so much that even if your life blows up, it wouldn’t matter. can it hurt that much to just kiss him? yes.

“oh he totally likes you!” you giggle at your friend’s flushed face after an encounter with her longterm crush—itoshi rin. she tries to shut you up in a joking manner but manages to only do so after she confesses something. “didn’t i tell you?” she asks which makes you raise an eyebrow. “tell me what?”

“…he does like me.”

wow, an arrow straight to the heart much? your expression of gloom is soon masked by raw surprise. “really?! when did that happen?” you force out a smile—to your credit, you were genuinely surprised by such because never once had she mentioned it before. “last week.” she sounds guilty, the type of guilty you’d only show your friends if you forgot to mention that you got married.

little did she know, you also had your eyes on the raven-haired man for quite some time now too. “ooh girl i’m hurt,” you start with it off with faking a shot to the heart and she laughs. “should’ve told me earlier!’ you almost fall to the ground for the effects (and also because your knees feel weak in sorrow) but refrain from doing so. “sorry, sorry! come to my house this saturday, i’ll introduce you!” she says before quickly running off to wherever.

“sure.” you whisper. walking to the nearby bathroom feels more like you’re dragging yourself to it. you can’t bring yourself to muster up the tears to cry over heartbreak because she really didn’t know you also liked rin. but the way you couldn’t even cry because now you’d feel like the asshole? you hated her.

you dreaded going to her house that saturday.

sadly, time stops for no one and now you’re here sitting in your friend’s room with rin all alone because she needed to help her mom with dinner. it wasn’t a crime to yearn for someone you couldn’t have but being with the someone you couldn’t have? someone bring you to jail already.

it’s quite awkward in the room due to the silence and both of you choosing to not speak. but being a chatterbox such as yourself, you’d soon come to regret it. “so… whats up?” you ask with caution. “nothing much. i only agreed to come because my soccer training was canceled.” he answers. you nod at his words—he looks really peaceful right now.

his black hair draping down his face, striking eyes bringing emphasis to his bottom lashes… his nonchalant expression. it’s just too much for you.

across the room.

you’re across the room from him and you hate the distance. all you know is that they both like each-other—nothing more—no labels—no launches. would doing something now really hurt more than how you’re hurting right now?

it’s quick. you were quick on your feet to get over to him, you were quick to bend down to where he was resting his back on your friend’s bed, you were quick to close the space, you were quick to move away.

rin is bewildered by your actions with no words to say. “sorry!” you apologize as fast as you dash out of the room—leaving him sitting there to question his thoughts, bringing a finger up to his lips—did his mu’s bestfriend just steal his first kiss?

“where are you going?” your friend’s mom asks aloud when she sees you dashing to the front-door. “my mom called! emergency! say that i said sorry!” those were the words you spoke before booking it out the front door.

later, when your friend comes out of the bathroom to question her mom what the commotion was all about, she just says that you had an emergency—she frowns because she really wanted you to try her cooking. after dinner, she brings rin back up to her room. just like you did hours before, she advances her moves to hover her face right above his—to give him a kiss, just like you, albeit, it’s longer and more drawn-out unlike yours.

“you’re my first kiss.” he mutters out.

💿 OLIVER AIKU is now playing… why’d you only ever call me when you’re high? by artic monkeys

cw : SITUATIONSHIP (bleuhhh), somewhat suggestive..? (idk but be wary cause idk how to write him w/o making it smth like that), angst, aiku is an asshole (BRO everyone is an asshole here i’m crying), mention of drugs

“why’d you only ever call me when you’re high?”

your lame situationship loves calling you late at night after getting with another girl and now you’ve grown to hate when he calls you but you just can’t stop picking up his calls.

you’re jolted up awake once you hear that fuck-ass ringtone coming from behind your pillow. the screen is bright so you have to squint really hard to see what was going on, you’re on your way to decline the call when you see his name pop up but your hand slips (!) and you swipe the call. “oliver, it’s three in the morning.” you groggily complain only to be met with heavy breathing on the other end.

“oh don’t even. call me when you’re done.” you gasp, then end the call. you throw your phone to the end of your bed and slam yourself back down onto your mattress. does that man ever catch a break? why do you even like him. it’s not like you guys are really anything else so is it really worth it to hang on and only hope for something you know you won’t get in return?

you probably get a good two hour nap before you’re awoken by another phone call. “you done?” you ask, more awake now since it’s 5AM already. “hi. yeah.” his voice reverberates along his bathroom walls—he’s gross, isn’t he? “you’re gonna make me pick up another phone call just to say that?” you sound irritated, and you are because it’s such a hassle to keep up with him like this.

“dunno, just wanted to hear your voice.” he replies in a wobbly voice. is he high again? “…are you high?” you ask in concern as if this wasn’t his 54th time calling after smoking something. “maybe.” he says. “you’re hopeless. you should go to rehab, you know?” you snake your way into his mind but it’s stupid to think he can even comprehend what you’re telling him right now.

“nah, i got better things to do, ‘ya know?” he chuckles at your pitiful attempt to help him get better. he knows you know that he isn’t keen on doing such—not anymore, at least. he’s content with his life as it is. “can i…” you breathe, “can i ask you something?” you finish. “what’s up?” he’s being as attentive as he can be through this state, he trying his best.

you hate the way how out of it he sounds, yet he’s still trying to hear you out. “do you still want this?” it’s like you had something get lifted off your chest only for it to get dropped on your head instead. “want what?” great, he doesn’t understand your question. not wanting to give this opportunity up, you rephrase it. “i meant, do you still want me?”

the other line is silent for a while. “sure, i still want you.” he responds. “so stop calling me when you’re high or you’re with another girl.” you winced at your own words. he’s really taking advantage of the way you understand that you guys aren’t anything more than a “oh, it’s complicated” type of relationship and that you guys are technically still allowed to see other people—but he’s the only one actually using it.

“let me ask you this. do you still want us?”

you loathe him but you can’t help but reply with i do.

“so don’t complain about my calls.”

thank you for reading this far :)

[callofdudes]

So, uh, I was watching Bad Boys 2 with my dad and when the shootout scene happened and Marcus accidentally got shot in the ass I couldn’t help but wonder after I was done LMFAOing; how the COD boys (or the guys from 141 if you have a character limit) would react to and deal with having been shot in the ass? Especially if their S/O or best friend was there?

Ouchie ouchie. Here ya go anon! Sorry it took so long!

Getting shot in the ass.

Fucking humiliated.

First off, it hurt and oh boy he would not talk to anyone. If you're not in the immediate vicinity of medical attention he is going to have to be taken care of by one of you.

He'd probably trust either you or Price. He loves Johnny but not enough to touch his whole ass.

If you're his spouse you will 100% try to make jokes to calm him down, and it doesn't end up making it any better. Simon laying on his stomach writhing in pain while you've got him pantsed.

He's never speaking to any of you again. He'd rather be buried alive than have you bandaging his whole asscheek so he doesn't bleed everywhere.

"Are-fuck! Are you done yet!?" He growled, turning into a whine near the end because he's in pain. Come on man...

"Almost Simon, just hang in with me ok?"

He whines, and you continue to as gently as you can patch the wound. And like a meanie you're trying not to laugh the whole time.

When you're done you'll pat his butt gently and help him up. "Fuck you, and fuck that last 20 minutes of my life." He winces, attempting to stand.

"It's an occupational hazard y'know-"

"In my ass. MY BLOODY ARSE!"

"Well it's not bloody anymore...??"

Yeah he's never speaking to you. Or the others. He'll go back to that coffin where he was safe and his beautiful ass wasn't being threatened 24/7.

When you get back if you tell anyone he's suffocating you in your sleep. Not like the medical team will let him go. Surgery to get the bullet out of his arse and then was hurting for weeks.

Glaring constantly because now he has one of those butt pillows that you'd sit on after a BBL. And the recruits are bugging him because, "Got a lift Lt??" "Thought it was already big enough."

His arse is a point of contention for him and now he's being pointed out for the masses.

"You... You want me to help??"

"Nope." He dragged his leg, limping his way as blood spilled.

"You've uh, got a hole in your-"

"I'm very well aware!" He grimaced, trying to ease down on his side. "Other room." He demands.

"I can help-"

"OTHER ROOM."

"Yes sir."

You step away and let Price undo his belt and survey the damage himself. The last time he was bleeding from his arse his military dad was spanking him upside down and sideways.

By the time he realizes he's going to need a little help he's already regretting his life. He's nearly had his balls shot off before, this shouldn't be news to him, but also, why....

Begrudgingly he calls you back in after messing with it enough it hurts twice as much as before.

So you grab some bandages and get to work.

"Don't-"

"I'm very well aware of where my hands are going captain, you're fine."

"Gross."

"You're bleeding."

"Thank you for stating the obvious." He rubbed his forehead, sighing.

You feel less inclined to snicker at Price because the poor man is just trying to make a living fighting crime. He doesn't deserve this. His beautiful soft ass doesn't deserve this.

When you get back he is just wanting the bullet out by that point so he doesn't fight medical. They get the bullet out and he is taking painkillers like they're going out of style. (No, not in an unhealthy way)

Will probably stay between his room and his office. He wants to do work very badly and hasn't enjoyed sitting around doing nothing for long periods of time.

Can't wear his favorite pants now because they're tighter and the seam cuts right into the stitches. Sweatpants and butt pillow it is until he's out of this hell.

Most recruits know not to poke the bear, unlike you. Or Simon.

"Whew, that was close." You panted and looked at Johnny with relief. "No kidding." But as the adrenaline wore off, Johnny felt lightheaded, and fell to his side.

"Ow-" He winced, his leg feeling numb. You quickly rushed to him and looked him over. He wasn't shot anywhere... Oh. Oh, no never mind, yes he was.

"Johnny..."

"Yeah..?"

"You're shot."

Johnny followed your gaze and saw.

Surprisingly calm. Like, out of everyone he doesn't panic as much. Pulls up his shirt into his mouth and tells you to get it out.

You're hesitant because it's trying to pull a bullet out of someone's ass. And pulling a bullet out is never... Fun. But he trusts you, even if his cheeks are glaringly red from utter embarrassment.

But he doesn't want anyone else to do it for some reason, so you do your best.

Long story short, it did not go well. You ended up messing with the wound that his right ass cheek was so swollen. He looked like an idiot. Laying on his stomach in pain while waiting for Evac.

"I'm sorry..." You rubbed his shoulder.

You'd pulled his pants down further, while still being respectful. But man if he didn't look stupid, and it looked like it hurt. One cheek much bigger than the other, red and swollen.

Johnny promised to never get shot in the ass again. After he was put on bed rest because he had an infection. So uh... That was a fun adventure.

"Why the hell did you try to dig the bullet out of my ass??" He looked over at you when you visited him.

"You told me to do that! I told you it was a bad idea."

"Oh yeah..." He sniffled and crossed his arms, pouting his lip.

"Johnny.. come on, it'll get better."

"Well it can't get worse. Can it?"

"Ow!! Bloody- shit!" He slid down a wall and looked down at his side, expecting the stinging pain he felt to have hit his leg, he was dismayed to find the bullet had got him in the ass.

"Oh fucking of course!" He groaned and tried his best to hold something over the wound while still getting bullets pelted at him.

"How're we looking, sergeant??"

Kyle looked back briefly and then adjusted his gun. "Fine! But I've got a bloody hole in my arse!"

"Say again?"

Kyle groaned. Falling out of helicopters, getting shot in the ass, what was next huh?

"I've. Got. A. Bullet. In my ass!!"

Mortified when the others get to him and see he was not lying. Kyle must have just about the worst luck because what the hell is this?? They got him to medical and they did indeed confirm he had a bullet where the sun don't shine.

His perfect, pretty, unscarred butt was now about to be dug into to get a bullet out. How humiliating. He had bad stuff happen to him, but this he refused to talk about.

"How're... How're you feeling?" You asked after he came out of surgery. Still high on drugs, Kyle glared at you. "Don't even..."

"Don't what?" You snickered slightly.

"Oh fuck off..."

You smiled a little and sat down. "Hey, you'll recover. It sucks, but you've gotten through worse."

"Bullet in the ass."

"Had a bullet in the ass."

"It was still there at one point. That was my reality, y/n!"

You lovingly shushed him with a glass of water.

Kyle did not say a word about it. Even when he needed a pillow to help him sit after the surgery, he never pointed it out. And the others saw the look, if they said anything Kyle would drag them behind a shed and suffocate them with said pillow.

And therefore, for everyone's collective safety, it was never brought up.

[grlsbstshot]

Pairing (Original Characters): Jameson Lucas (Aaron Pierre) x Imani St. Cirie (Megan thee Stallion) Story Synopsis: R&B singer/songwriter, Jameson Lucas, is well known as a charming playboy. The latest in his line of 'loved em and left em' behavior? Imani St. Cirie, an emotive singer/songwriter herself. A common sense pulls them in opposite directions – friendships are tested, old flames resurface, and new opportunities threaten to tear them apart for good. In this industry, dreams can make or break you – but what happens when love becomes the gamble of a lifetime? Chapter Synopsis: Jameson makes a late night appearance in his ex's life after a year apart. Warnings: Smut (18+), toxic relationship, possessiveness infidelity mentions, explicit language (mild dirty talk), unprotected sex, daddy kink (very much so), unintentional breath play, dirty talking, creampie Word Count: 6.7k Divider Template: @cafekitsune Notes: The following characters are original creations. Their voice claims are Usher / Lucky Daye (Jameson) & Summer Walker / SZA (Imani). We have no affiliation to any of those artists. There will be alternating POVs between our two leads.

Chapter I: Real Games

[ blockdt unless horny ] : wya?

imani rolled her eyes and tossed the phone back across the couch. of course jameson decided that after a year of not seeing one another, he'd reach out NOW. a year after he broke her heart and ruined their three year relationship, he decided to contact her. with three letters? pathetic. even more pathetic was the fact that she picked the phone back up...and thought of a response.

jameson lucas was like a drug to her. when they met, he was cocky but never without reason. he pursued her relentlessly and it didn't take long until they were everywhere together. the son of a r&b legend, jameson took his own path into music. they just fit each other. imani's own career was in its early stages but she took off like a rocket. soon enough, they were the first names called in their fields. especially when they used their love affair to inspire music. they took a hit of each other and it was nonstop. he knew all he had to do was get his foot in the door and she'd be gone. but imani was determined not to play his game this time. he was almost out of her system. she'd get rid of him for good now.

[ imani ] : why do you care? [ blockdt unless horny ] : i miss you. that better? [ imani ] : no. it's still not explaining what the fuck you want [ blockdt unless horny ] : if i'm looking for you and i want to see you. what do you think i want? [ imani ] : sex? got it. okay, not interested [ blockdt unless horny ] : if i wanted to fuck, i wouldn't have a problem finding somebody to do that with. i want to see you because i miss you. am i being clear enough? [ imani ] : lmfao yeah i guess you wouldn't. i'm not dumb. you want something. [ blockdt unless horny ] : you. i want you. i am literally saying what i want. [ imani ] : and why should i give you access to me? [ blockdt unless horny ] : because i'm asking? begging, really. because i love you? [ imani ] : love me? let's be fucking real, jameson [ blockdt unless horny ] : if i don't love you, i don't love nobody, mani. you not tired of fighting yet? [ imani ] : lmfaoooo you're a fucking joke. you don't cheat on the person you love. [ blockdt unless horny ] : i made a mistake. that doesn't change the fact that i love you. i know we'll never be together again because you don't trust me but what am i supposed to do with the shit i feel? [ imani ] : stop saying you love me. idk maybe you need to live with that shit. i'm doing perfectly fine without you. [ blockdt unless horny ] : okay

jameson exhaled sharply, frustrated with himself. he knew deep in his heart that getting in touch with imani had been a mistake. their relationship came crashing down after his infidelity. a night with a woman he shouldn't have been with spiraled. guilt-ridden, he had confessed the next day then spent months trying to get her back. when his efforts failed and she'd gotten a quarterback as her next man -- jameson had moved on. he'd had another girlfriend for a few months but imani hadn't left his mind. he watched every instagram post with an eager eye but it wasn't like he could avoid her. imani st. cirie was r&b's favorite lover girl. her lyrics were captions more often than his own. he could feel her scolding him with every record release but he listened anyway. the two of them played a game where they pretended not to care or notice one another...but in the dark of night, his finger always hovered over that button to call her. even as another woman lay in his bed. sometimes he fought the urge to press it but most of the time he failed -- and got her voicemail. he wrote songs for her, keeping the object of his affection nameless but their fans could connect the dots. he wasn't over her and never would be.

now his bed was empty and he allowed hope to carry him away. they were both single for the first time in a year. maybe now was the time to work it out? imani's texts quickly shut the idea down. he was losing her and any minute, she'd block him. jameson shuffled uncomfortably in the front seat of his mercedes benz. his gaze strayed up to the gates of her home, wondering if she could see him and knew how atrociously down bad he was. his phone beeped on his lap and he peered down in surprise. she responded ?

[ imani ] : now the cat got your fuckin tongue? [ jameson ] : what would you like me to say to that, imani? nothing, right? [ imani ] : it's just so funny to me. why should i give you what you want? [ jameson ] : why are you asking me questions you really don't care about the answer to? you miss me too. you want to see me too. you love me too. so why are we doing this? [ imani ] : i do want an answer. all that's true but you know it's not good for us to see each other. [ jameson ] : i know, baby. i know you deserve better than this. i just miss you. let me see you for ten minutes. [ imani ] : no. [ jameson ] : baby, please. i swear to god i'll leave after that. [ imani ] : fine. i'm at home. [ jameson ]: i'm outside

imani stared down at her phone with wide eyes, in shock as if she wasn't the one who just texted the words 'fine. i'm at home'. she dropped her phone and jumped off her couch, hands over her mouth. "shit, shit, shit." the woman muttered behind her palms. what the hell was she going to do now? she hadn't expected herself to invite him over and she sure as fuck didn't expect him to be sitting outside.

she took a second more to panic before sprinting up her stairs and down the hall into her bedroom. she tugged her t-shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Her shorts followed as she dug into her drawer for another outfit. something that said 'i'm not thinking about you, bitch! but you think i'm cute?' she ended up with a cropped sweatsuit. it showed the tiniest bit of skin and was still comfortable. she didn't bother trying to wrestle with her hair. she left it in a ponytail and practically broke her neck going to brush her teeth.

her doorbell hadn't rung but she could feel the moment he was in front of her home. an electric undercurrent made her body tense. she finished in the bathroom and forced herself to take slow, measured steps back down to the first floor. she wouldn't be seen trying to look her best for him. he was only visiting for ten minutes anyway.

she was crazy for agreeing with this. she knew she should have left the conversation alone but she couldn't help herself. everything that jameson said was true. she missed him. she loved him. she wanted to see him...and imani hated herself for it. yet there she was opening the door for him. "hey." she managed to utter uninterestedly, taking her time before she met his gaze. when she did, she could have choked on her damn spit.

to his mother and god be all the fucking glory...he was beautiful.

it hadn't been as if she hadn't seen his face since they split. he'd released an album, won three grammys for it, and embarked on a very public relationship with a co-star from that little comedic show he was doing. but seeing him up close and personal again? insane. imani grasped the doorknob tightly to keep herself from moving toward him.

freshly braided cornrows lined his scalp and met at the back of his head. she couldn't see the tattoo at the back of his neck but she knew it was there. she had traced her nails across it often enough. it was the soundwave of his first platinum single. he'd been so proud of it. he had numerous other tattoos but that was the one she loved the most. his warm, golden brown skin that she'd kissed and licked so much that she knew every inch of it practically glowed. he had shaved his beard down to a goatee. it framed full lips that could do the most devilish things to her. he lifted his long, incredibly agile, fingers to give her a wave and it broke her out of the spell she was under.

"hey. you got a timer going?" he asked her, humor evident in his tone but she was too distracted by the sound of his voice. deep, soothing, commanding. imani abruptly turned away from the door and stopped in her living room, folding her arms over her chest. the sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could leave.

"i thought you would have it since you said you were only staying for ten minutes." they both knew that he often made promises that he couldn't keep but she wanted to see how long he'd keep up with the charade. imani crossed one leg over the other as she peered at him. why did he have to be so fine? maybe if he wasn't attractive, things would be easier.

"would rather spend my time looking at you than watching a clock." he told her softly, lowering himself onto the same couch as her. as close as he could get. jameson leaned back against the cushions, settling comfortably. he didn't say anything else for a few moments, one hand patting at his chest lightly. "i feel better seeing you." he admitted lowly. "i know you think i'm full of shit...but that's true. i miss you when i'm not with you. i only feel better when i'm right here."

imani sighed softly. she could feel herself crack at the confession but she refused to go down without a fight. "you just wasted two of your minutes." her stony expression didn't hold up so she chose to look away, not responding again. she just didn't know how to. instead, she slightly shifted so she wasn't as close to him. the perfect storm was brewing between them and she had to decide if she was strong enough to withstand it. "is that all you came over here for? we both know you're just gonna get bored with me, cheat, and then leave again. quit while you're behind."

"i'm okay with whatever you want to do." jameson told her, knowing that the day was coming when she would get tired of this and cut him out for good. he'd have no choice but to let her go. but today wasn't that day. he could tell that even though she was sick of his shit, she didn't mean that they should cut things off. and being the man he was...he was glad. instead of answering her question, jameson was quiet. "but i was never bored of you. i swear."

he didn't quite know why they never seemed to get things right. he drifted away from her and then couldn't stand it so he came right back. she got pissed at him and told him to fuck off but then let him come back. it was crazy but it was them. "you know what you mean to me." he said softly, pulling his hand from his pocket to lift his hand. he brushed his thumb against her cheek, tilting his head to watch her expression. "don't you?"

when imani turned to meet his gaze, he knew it hadn't been wrong to contact her. it had been a year but the same energy was between them. he watched her try to pull herself again, try to pull the hardass out and build the wall back up between them. that was the thing about loving someone you knew like the back of your hand -- you saw everything. even the shit they didn't want you to see. "enough with the bullshit, jameson."

literally no other woman could have him open like she did. he spent years sniffing after her. and when he cheated, he spent months begging. he'd never begged a woman for anything. but he knew he'd get down on his knees for her each and every time. "i fucked you over and i regret it everyday." he said softly, pulling his hand from her. "i never loved anybody before i saw you. i can't prove to you it's not bullshit but i swear on everything...you are the love of my life."

it was the one thing he had never told her and he knew saying it shifted things for him emotionally. but damn it, he was running out of answers. "i can't breathe unless i know you're a phone call away. i can barely fucking function if i go too long without seeing you. you are everything." 

silence lapsed between them as they both processed that there was some kind of breakthrough happening. their communication had been better in bed than anywhere else but jameson knew he'd strip as many layers as he could to get down to the heart of it all. the longer they went without speaking, the more he wondered what she was thinking.

"you hurt me, jameson. you do that shit every time and I let you." she said, looking into his eyes. "i don't know why i fuckin' let you do it. but i do." she moved from her spot, positioning herself in his lap. jameson made room for her, wrapping his arms around her waist. the two fell into tandem -- as if they hadn't spent any time apart at all. imani straddled his lap, he could see the regret in her face but he couldn't bring himself to let her ponder on it. he lifted his head and pressed the gentlest kiss to the corner of her mouth. she melted against him and he heard her whisper against his ear. "just don't promise me shit this time. i don't want to hear any lies."

jameson knew he should be a better man and let her be happy with someone else. but he couldn't find it in himself. "okay, baby." what else could he say? he was a piece of shit. "just...don't give up on me." he said softly, surprising himself with how much he meant the words. "i need you. ain't no me without you." his hand pressed against the small of her back, fingertips stroking against her spine as he sighed. "my ten minutes are up, i think. give me a kiss goodnight."

there it was. she had let him just waltz back into her fucking life. folded quicker than a cheap umbrella in a hurricane. a few apologies, kisses, and touches -- imani was partially disgusted with herself. she was relieved to see she wasn't alone in her addiction though. he clung to her body like a man who hadn't been touched in an eternity even though she knew that was far from the truth. maybe she couldn't leave him alone but she could establish a set of boundaries. not lying seemed easy enough.

she sighed as he relaxed into her body. her arms wrapped rightly around his neck and she placed a kiss on his forehead. "i guess you can stay a little longer." imani slipped her hand under his chin, bringing his lips to hers. that familiar feeling washed over her just from the feel of his lips.

imani could feel him smile against her lips and she couldn't help but nip against his lower lip to settle his ego. jameson gave a lingering groan at the contact. it'd been so long since she'd touched him but every single time, it felt like coming home. "mm. mm-uh." he exhaled, breaking the kiss and shaking his head as he swiftly rose from the couch. imani went up with him, thinking quickly and wrapping her legs around his waist. "i can't stay. i gotta go." he muttered, "i promised i'd leave after ten minutes. i just said i wouldn't lie to you."

it was obvious he didn't want to go. if it hadn't been obvious from the way he kept leaning into her, his body begging for those little kisses from her -- it was obvious when he rose from the couch. he braced his hands underneath her, fingers sprawling across her ass. imani was pressed against him, the evidence of what he wanted to do pressed against her thigh. he couldn't lie to her even if he wanted to. "i'm gonna put you down...in a minute." he mumbled, burying his face against the crook of her neck.

suddenly, she didn't want to talk. she didn't want to think of the shit he'd done to her, the way he'd broken her heart. all she wanted to do was feel. That's what she wanted to focus on right now. "no, no, no." she murmured, shaking her head. "this is a promise you can break. it's okay." she placed her hand on the back of his neck. her acrylics grazed his skin -- claiming him once again. imani left a trail of kisses against his neck to his earlobe then sucked it into her mouth. "you're not leaving." she told him in a demanding whisper.

imani pressed herself to him, nails grazing the skin at the back of his neck, and he felt himself break out in chills. the slight pressure there pleased him. his arms tightened around her as he sighed softly. imani pulled back and he saw the smirk gracing her lips. she knew. she knew he was weak for her and knew exactly how to get what she wanted from him. nobody knew him better than her -- whatever she might think of their relationship, she got him in a way nobody else did. she knew exactly what made him tick and she proved it just then. jameson didn't bother to vocally agree. he just began to walk through her living room, headed to the stairs to get to her bedroom. 

"i hate your house sometimes." he huffed as he shifted her in his arms, tossing her onto his shoulder. she gave a short yell of surprise at the move, her hands pressed to his lower back as he carried her up the stairs. the couch wasn't big enough for what he wanted to do with her. "i can't even fuck you on these uncomfortable ass stairs."

"you don't think so?" she asked. "i don't know. that sounds like a challenge to me." the palm of his hand swatted towards her ass, the stinging in his palm probably not as intense as the one she felt. "a challenge for both of us to break our necks." he walked up the stairs easily, her weight against his shoulder going unnoticed. jameson didn't even bother to answer her question any further. he was sure it'd be uncomfortable but he was also sure he'd fuck her anywhere he could. it was the exact reason he walked down her hallway and took the first left he saw. it wasn't the direction of her bedroom...but it was the closest one to them.

even as the heat and tension spiraled between them, he managed to keep his senses alert enough to flip the light switch. in the brightness of the spare bedroom, jameson carefully lowered imani from his shoulder, standing with her next to the bed. for a moment as he placed her onto the bed. he hadn't been lying when he said he'd rather look at her than anything else. he watched as she struggled to get out of the sweatsuit. she tugged her arms free but seemed too jittery to completely get undressed.

jameson began to move closer...leaving her no choice but to fall backward onto the bed. she began to crawl up it, watching him the whole time. "you impatient, mama?" he asked her, a grin gracing his full lips. imani nodded, meeting his gaze. he dropped his hands to her hips, fingertips grazing against the band of her sweatpants. without a word, he gently pulled them over the curve of her ass then down legs. "me too." he confessed. before she could say anything, he was kneeling in front of her. "show me you missed me." jameson said softly, kissing her thigh.

he saw the moment it clicked in her mind what he wanted from her. her hand moved between her legs and jameson spread her thighs greedily, not wanting to miss a moment. they clicked into their typical roles when it came to sex so quickly that he was practically moving on autopilot. he talked to her like he was still her man, like no time had passed at all. imani's fingers parted her folds with ease, wetness sticking to her fingers. she let out a hushed moan as her fingers pressed into her pussy.

some games he and imani played were painful. some pissed him off. some were even amusing. but the best kind of games were the ones where they drove each other crazy. he watched her play along with him -- following his command with ease. "i forgot how pretty she gets when you're turned on." he murmured, slowly pulling his own sweatshirt over his head. jameson tossed it aside, not caring where it landed. "spread. let me see it all. make me remember." he was pleased when imani whimpered softly and did as he said. fingertips parted her folds, exposing her clit to him as her legs parted further as well.

he didn't have any charming shit to say, nothing smooth or seductive. all he knew was that he wanted her more than he wanted his next breath. so jameson descended to the bed, settling himself between her legs. his hand reached out for her own, gently grasping her fingers to pull them to his mouth. he sucked at her digits, carefully pulling each from his mouth to savor the taste of her until he tasted nothing but her skin. both of his hands came to her thighs, pulling her further down the bed and toward his mouth. jameson pressed a kiss to her clit before his tongue pressed to her folds. no sooner had he slid his tongue between her lips did he groan, happy to be home in a sense. and then he went to work.

imani couldn't believe how gone she allowed herself to be for jameson. the woman she was a few months ago would be sickened to see her writhing across a bed, doing his bidding. that thought should have been enough to make her push him away but they were silenced with the kiss to her clit. her back arched, the shock of pleasure bringing a cry from her lips.

the only thing that stopped her from pulling at those big ass ears to stop him and demand he fuck her right then was the fact that he owed her. for every moment he pissed her off or disappointed her, he owed her this pleasure as recompense.

he unwound one arm from around her leg -- pressing his fingers into her. imani lifted his head to watch as her pussy enveloped his digits, pulling and squeezing. he pressed his fingers deeper, harder -- wanting to see how she would react. eventually, he settled into a familiar rhythm. his index and middle finger delving deeply into her, his thumb lazily teasing against her ass. jameson leaned in again, closing his mouth over her clit as he ran his tongue back and forth...back and forth, timing the movement with that of his thumb. he kept it up until arousal soaked his tongue and knew he swallowed it down with glee because he groaned every single time.

her senses were already overloaded. She didn't like the power that jameson had over her. from his slightest touch, she was putty in his hands. "fuck, jameson." she whimpered. her hands palmed the back of his head, fingertips clinging to his braids, pussy grinding against his face. she wasn't going to last long and she hated that. hated him for it. "baby, wait." it hit her like a cramp to the stomach and imani jackknifed up from the bed, one hand pressed to the bed behind her to keep her upright. "i'ma cum, baby." she whimpered. before he could do anything else, her body jerked and her eyes shut close tightly.

she had prepared for him to be right where he was for a while. but it was going to be over before she knew it. jameson picked up his pace and added another finger, at her confession. she was sure he didn't even need the warning but even with her eyes closed, she could feel him watching her -- pleasure written all over her face. "let me see." he urged her own. "give me my shit."

her body jerked and imani felt him slow down. three fingers pressed into her, a thumb pressed to her clit, and another one teasing at her ass -- it was too much. her legs shut tightly over his hands as he pulled the orgasm free. it hit her hard enough to make her thigh shake. imani thrust herself against his fingers, praying he wouldn't stop. and he didn't. as much as she wanted, he gave it to her. she was breathless by the time her hips stopped arching up, begging for more.

only when she came down did she realize he was speaking to her.

"i missed my greedy pussy." "get what you want, baby. take it." "you better keep this energy the same when i get up."

every word brought a moan from her lips and jolt from her hips. imani watched as he pulled his hands free, sucked on his fingers, and stood from the bed. the two didn't exchange a word as she watched him undress. first went his shirt and then his sweatpants. she hadn't even noticed when he took his damn shoes off. his boxers followed next and...behold. a thing of fucking beauty. his dick bobbed freely, fully erect, and she had the urge to taste him. she wanted him sliding between her lips and down her throat the way he used to but she didn't move. she only watched him climb back onto the bed and settled between her legs. then he hesitated.

"fuck." jameson muttered, "baby...i didn't bring shit with me." he told her quietly. imani genuinely felt fear in the moment. fear he would pull away and get up. she wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him from pulling away even as he continued speaking. "please tell me you have a couple here." imani parted her legs wider, pouting up at him. "you really didn't bring anything?" she repeated, still not processing it. jameson shook his head, his hands pressed to her hips as he kissed her neck and mumbled his apologies. in the moment, she really didn't give a fuck. "it's okay." she whispered. her hand slipped between them and wrapped her hands around his dick. she moved her hips forward to slowly guide him inside of her. she would think about the consequences later. all she knew was that she wanted him NOW.

jameson knew how these things went with imani. they always ended up here one way or another. he cursed himself for not bringing protection. but it didn't matter — they were both desperate for one another. he froze when she reached for him, his breath trapped in his throat at the feel of her hand. he only exhaled sharply when she widened her legs and pressed him inside.

the last time they had sex without protection had been when they were together. now, they were...well, complicated. but he couldn't deny that it felt right. it's why he didn't pull away. "you sure?" he asked her, lust making his speech slurred. even before she nodded her head, he gave a short, gentle thrust — enveloping himself in her entirely. "oh my god -- you feel so good, daddy." she whispered against his ear. "i'm daddy already? i like hearing my baby say that."

their eyes met as he eased deeper into her. imani's hands found his back and jameson fought off a smile as she replied to him. "you never stopped being daddy." she said lowly. He was incomparable to anyone else. despite what happened between them, she still could acknowledge that he was the only one that could make her feel like this. imani sealed their fate when she arched her back, lifted her hips, and told him that she needed him. jameson wanted to be wanted. he wanted to be needed. and he could tell from the sound of her voice that she meant it -- she didn't just want to get off, she meant it. she needed him.

jameson moved his hand from her hips to the small of her back, keeping her hips lifted and pressed against his own. he tested their position -- slowly pulling out. his gaze dropped to watch the movement, a groan leaving his lips as he saw how she coated him in her arousal. as turned on as he was, he still found the time to joke. "don't come so fast this time.", he teased her, his hips moving forward to fill her again. "we're just getting started."

he laughed out loud when her blissed out face turned into a frown. she opened her mouth -- likely to tell him to shut the fuck up -- and he silenced her with a sharp thrust. any insult turned into a moan. "i'm playin, i'm playin." amusement filtering into his tone as he moved his hand from her hip, fingertips gliding down her leg to grasp her thigh. jameson shifted her leg around his waist, picking it up higher so it rested against his back as he slowly fucked her. once he got her leg readjusted, he ran his thumb against her lower lip, his eyes lowered to watch where they connected. "suck."

her brow was still furrowed as they rocked together. it was almost as if she was deciding if she wanted to curse him out but she opened her mouth and took his thumb between her lips. the more precise his movements, the harder it became for her to keep his thumb in her mouth. he didn't think it was possible but it felt like she became even wetter after his command. imani playfully swirled her tongue around his finger and jameson had to close his eyes for a brief second -- lust making his abdomen clench. "shit, mani. oh my -- fuck." jameson panted, slowly pulling his thumb from her mouth. he let it trail across her lower lip before leaning in to kiss her circle his tongue around a nipple. he pressed his body to hers, hips rocking as he wedged his hand between them.

the bedroom was bright and he could see everything -- a blessing, he figured. he dropped his head, looking between their bodies, and made sure he was pressing his wet thumb against her clit. jameson pressed gently, circling there with ease. he was multi-tasking pretty damn well. he could hear his thighs making contact with hers, the squelching between them as he drove himself deeply into her, sucking and gently biting at her nipple.

"jamie. oh baby..." imani hummed, unable to focus on anything besides the sound of her pussy loudly welcoming her lover home. he slid in and out with precision, angling his hips in the exact way to drive her crazy. her moans and screams accompanied the sound of her love. "you're gonna make me -- i'ma cum again." she whimpered, locking her legs around his thighs.

"this my pussy, ain't it?" imani nodded so fast that he was sure she'd cause a sprain in her neck. "then act like it. give me that shit." he knew she was reacting to what he was doing and saying but jameson could hardly hear imani. he was in his own little world, grazing his teeth against her nipple. he kept his thumb pressed to her clit as he kept up the pace of his hips. when he lifted his head, he found that he didn't have much of anything to say. he was in a daze. he heard himself moan, unashamed of the fact that she knew how far gone he was over her.

"i swear to god...i fucking love you." he muttered, eyes drifting closed as he quickly reached out for her leg, pulling it from around his waist to extend. he pressed it to his shoulder, both hands moving to her hips to pull her onto his length harder. all pretenses of taking things slow were out the window. he was fucking her now, his thumb shifting from pressing to quick circles against her clit. "ooh fuck! daddy, i love you too. i swear." she panted.

he could feel her fighting it. she fluttered over him, shaking in his grasp. she didn't want to make this as easy as the first orgasm she experienced but jameson didn't have a problem working for it. her body shifted again with her leg on his shoulder. He picked up his pace and the speed of his thumb. "sh-iiii-t, fuck me daddy. just like that!" imani clawed at his back and tightened her walls around him. her hands grasp at his ass, firm and full in her hands.

he liked the way she called out for him. but he liked the way she told him she loved him. the words had an effect on him. he grunted, gritting his teeth as he tried to rein himself in. it sent chills up his spine and he couldn't shake the desire to hear the words again. jameson slowed down when he should have kept the same pace. "like that?" he asked imani, his hand slowly moving from between her legs and up her abdomen. "yes! yes b-baby." she stuttered. her hands left his body and found the sheets, gripping them tightly as she blinked up at him. it was like she couldn't ground herself no matter what she held on to. good. he didn't want her sane at all. jameson could tell that she wouldn't last much longer.

his other hand caressed her calf, his head turning to press kisses to her leg. he moved slowly, twisting his hips and biting back another moan. it's even better than what he was doing before. how the fuck could she do that without even trying? she made his head spin half the fucking time and he was still in awe of her. "tell me you love me again." he asked her quietly.

she didn't even hesitate to repeat it. "i love you, baby." mani hissed. "i love you so fuckin' much." her eyes shut and she seized so hard that it was almost as if her body froze. she didn't get to warn him that time. her back arched and her eyes fluttered shut. he could feel her holding her breath. he didn't slack up, lifting his hand to slap down against her clit. her body flinched but still, she didn't release her breath. jameson dropped her her leg from his shoulder to give her a moment of rest. "breathe, mani." he commanded. no sooner than he spoke did he feel her let go. she inhaled sharply, whimpering and moaning out as she did so. nobody could tell him this woman didn't belong to him. the evidence was in the way she let him have his way and her essence covering both their thighs.

she moaned and convulsed around him, wringing a groan from his throat. jameson lowered his body to hers, kissing imani deeply. his tongue slipping between her lips as she clung to him. it was his turn to collapse under the pressure of pleasure. "how you want me, baby?" he asked her between kisses, his release nearing the more he pressed into her. she shook her head as if she didn't understand him and jameson held off with a grunt. "where you want this nut, mani? tell daddy." he was asking for permission and holding off until he got it. even if it killed him.

her voice got caught in her throat and finally, she managed to croak out a response. "inside." one word, the last word she should have said to him. they both knew that. she soaked his dick, the wet spot under them expanding each time he pressed into her. it practically spurted from her. she was spent, he knew she had very little left to give him so now it was time for her to take.

her hands lifted to frame his face, her lips pressed to his cheek, and jameson allowed himself to relax into her. he felt the thrill of lust race down his spine, pulling back only to bury his face in the crook of her neck. he thrust into her roughly, his body losing the sensuous sense of coordination he'd used to get her off. there was no focus or gameplan, desire was driving him now.

he whispered words against her neck, mindless praise about how good she felt. how beautiful she was. how much he loved her. he whispered until the words turned into moans. his hips shuddered and then he came. one hand against her hip, the other over her head -- clenched around the sheets. jameson sagged against her, pressing kisses to imani's shoulder as his hand caressed her hip.

post-nut clarity was a bitch. she had given the man permission to do what he wanted with her body and only now -- when he sagged against her -- did it hit her. her unfaithful, untrustworthy ex had come into her home, hit her with some bullshit about love, and she fell on top of his dick. he breathed heavily against her skin, sleepily pressing kisses to her neck. as much as he pissed her off, she ran her hand up and down his back on instinct. "i really do love you." she heard him say.

despite the fact that they exchanged 'i love you' several times while fucking, it took coming on his dick a few times to remember that she didn't believe him anymore. "mhm." she hummed, patting his shoulder. "i gotta clean up." jameson took the hint and pulled out, surprising imani when he placed his hand against her abdomen. "stay here. i got it." she was silent as he left the room, not even watching his ass as he walked away. she was disappointed in herself. even though her thighs and pussy ached, her clit practically tingled, and her eyes felt heavy with exhaustion -- was it worth going on this damn rollercoaster with jameson again?

he returned to the room with a wet towel. neither of them said a word as he went through the motions of cleaning between her thighs. he even rolled her out of the wet spot that she had been unable to escape. she expected him to take the same care with himself but he didn't. once he was done with the towel, he tossed it aside. the air between them had changed. she could feel it and knew he did too.

"mani." "get out." "...baby, we don't have to do it like that. we can start over." "i don't want to start over with you. i wanted to cum and i did that. so now you can get the fuck out of my house."

imani watched the words impact him and knew he was trying to decide if he believed her or not. she slowly sat up, hating that her body still trembled while she was trying to be strong. "get out, jameson." part of her was pleased that he seemed to give up in the moment. she watched him redress mournfully. they didn't trade words. he was fully dressed and she still sat on the bed, undressed.

"i'll call you." "don't bother."

despite the heat in her words, jameson still leaned in to kiss her. she let him do so, telling herself it was easier than to shove him away. when he finally turned to leave the room, imani let her mask slip. she fell back onto the bed, breath shuddering. she had done the right thing. fucking him was a mistake but she could bounce back. she didn't have to let him back into her life anymore. that chapter of her life was over.

We hope you guys like the start of Neon Lights. If not, please keep it to yourself. No, I'm kidding. Constructive criticism is very welcome!

[sourszt]

𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 | hate fucking + age gap

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 — billy butcher x fem!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — nsfw, age gap, hate fucking, reader is in her 20s, butcher is like 40something, porn with plot, slight “daddy”/father-ish kink, slight power imbalance, bratty reader, butcher gets drunk, “kid” and “sweetheart” used, typical butcher language, top!reader, unusually soft ending

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — ending was lowkey doodoobuns but idc, also i lowkey gave the reader a slightly genuine plot im considering it for an oc LMFAO anyways enjoy ! this man brings out the worst in me unfortunately.

“maybe i’d have been better off if you’d just fucked off and left me alone!”

your own words still rang in your head from earlier. the venom in them that were meant for the man you were desperately searching for had splashed back onto you, and it fucking hurt. especially because you didn’t even mean to say it.

butcher always brought out the worst in you. whenever the two of you argued, which was just a hair below constantly, he just never knew when to stop. he pushed and pushed until you lashed out so badly that it would leave him silent.

everybody told you it was because you were the youngest in the group. having joined the team that called themselves ‘the boys’ at twenty years old because of your unprecedented intelligence and strategy, you had become accustomed to their violent methods. well, every method except one.

billy butcher. the group’s uncrowned commander seemed to be your only downfall. initially you expected him to treat you like a child because of your age. but it was never about that. for the two years you stuck with them, he was constantly breathing down your neck waiting for you to screw up.

he denied the special attention he gave you, which often caused the explosive arguments between the two of you. frenchie and m.m. opted to stay out of the way, but usually consoled you after the fact while butcher would storm off for hours, sometimes days to pull himself together.

much like now. a few hours ago, the two of you were knee deep in a vicious screaming match because of a nearly botched mission. butcher was blaming your lack of foresight when it came to an unexpected issue (though it was quickly taken care of) and said that you just weren’t one of them. you bit back just as hard, telling him that he was a selfish asshole who you should have never trusted.

you tore him a new one, expecting twice the fury back. but instead a flash of hurt shone in butcher’s narrowed eyes and he took off without a word.

m.m., the one who was always quick to take your side, told you once you settled down that you should be the one to find him. drag him out of whatever bar he was holed up in. he granted you permission to humiliate the man if you needed to because he knew how butcher was. you deserved to stomp the shit out of that man if you ever got the chance.

so that was how you ended up in the lot of a bar, ushering a fairly buzzed butcher into the passenger seat of the van. he came out calmly, which surprised you. he muttered something about missing his bed at home.

so you shot a quick call to frenchie telling him that you would be taking butcher home but to wait up for you when you got back to the motel. then began the most uncomfortable drive of your life.

an apology was on the tip of your tongue but every time you stole a glance at the man, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. you suddenly remembered why you were angry before and refused to be the bigger person.

butcher was the same type of stubborn.

“how much have you had?” you broke the silence first, concern outweighing your frustration.

butcher didn’t respond, instead saying, “you know, i meant what i said earlier.”

you rolled your eyes and clutched the steering wheel to keep from swerving the both of you into oncoming traffic.

“some fuckin’ strategist you are. nearly had us all made like some right cunt.” he dragged his words out more than usual. he was intentionally trying to make you mad. he wanted to fight.

“what the fuck is wrong with you, butcher?” you snapped, the emotions from earlier flooding back to you. “all you’ve ever done for me was made me wonder if jumping off the top of vought tower would be better than being in the same goddamn room as you. old enough to be my fucking father yet you’re as immature as they come.”

butcher went quiet for a while, slowly looking over at you. “oh, is that it? does the little girl have daddy issues?”

you slammed on the brakes and put the van into park. you had arrived at butcher’s place. “we’re here.” you bit coldly.

butcher was well aware of your reasoning for going after the supes along with the rest of the boys. your parents were caught in the crossfire to a rather nefarious supe scandal when you were a child. you only uncovered the truth a few years back, the vigilante group and its original leader, mallory, becoming your saving graces and second family.

you helped the man up to his front door so that he didn’t fall. your job should have ended there and you should have gone back to the van but instead you followed butcher inside, much to his confusion.

“whaddaya want? i thought you said you’d be better if i’d just fucked right off.” butcher spoke with a taunting laugh as he tossed his keys onto his coffee table.

“you know,” you began, your fists tensing at your sides. you were about to start treading on paper thin ice, “i didn’t think it was because of my age, but i’m starting to think that’s it.” you said challengingly.

butcher peeled his long black coat off and shot you a strange sideways glance. “hell are you on about?” it took him a little too long to respond, even in his buzzed state.

you cocked your head. it seemed you hit the nail right on the head. if that weren’t the case, he would have immediately shut you down and struck up a new argument.

a dry laugh came from you. “what is it then? are you intimidated by how young i am? threatened?” you questioned. the daring tone in your voice as you stepped towards him made his eyes narrow.

“watch yourself.”

“there you go acting like my fucking father again. is that it? you like how young i am? you wanna be my daddy? you’re over twice my age and that gets you going, doesn’t it?”

“i’m warnin’ ya, kid.” his sharp tone cut clean through the rapidly building tension between you two and actually rendered you quiet. sure, butcher could be a right asshole but he never had snapped at you like this before.

he certainly never called you kid before, either.

it looked like you had him backed into a corner. you held his gaze, noticing how the alcohol in his system made him glance down at your lips a few too many times. you refused to be the one to prove him right so you stayed still.

you could smell the beer on his breath. he was pretty much unpredictable now. “how long, huh?” your voice cane out low and shaky. butcher looked up at you and tilted his head a little like he was daring you to keep going. “how long have you wanted to fuck me?”

butcher sneered down at you and you actually expected him to shove you away. but he didn’t. you were at a standstill. neither of you wanted to be the first to crumble under the tension, but it had to come to an end at some point.

after what felt like an eternity, butcher closed the gap. part of you thought that the hands that came to grab your jaw were meant to hit you and you tensed up when he suddenly kissed you. you made a grab for his wrists like you were going to defend yourself but once you realized his intention, you all but melted into him.

he overpowered you without question, his body pushing you back until your back hit the wall. you could taste the alcohol on his tongue.

his strong hands were all over you. running down your sides to grip your hips, then sliding back to squeeze your ass through your jeans. you moaned at the contact, your head tilting back to rest against the wall. he stole that opportunity to start making his way down the side of your neck. his rough beard tickled your skin and you squirmed under him, your fingers running through his hair to weakly tug at it.

“makes you tick, does it?” butcher’s gruff voice made your head spin. you could practically hear the smirk on his face when your hips subconsciously bucked against him. he knew all of that confidence you wore earlier was long gone.

it only lingered long enough for you to start undoing the buttons to his shirt, and he quickly understood the message. he hoisted you up into his arms, mumbling a curse under his breath when your legs hooked around his waist.

he was on you the second you hit his bed, enveloped in a messy kiss while you scrambled madly to get each other’s clothes off. something about the way he so swiftly helped you peel out of your pants and top made you that much more desperate to fuck him. his hands were so big and skilled, you found yourself staring at them with hunger in your eyes.

you rolled him over to straddle his lap, whining at the feeling of his bulge against your clothed cunt. only two thin layers of fabric stood between you. still, you rolled your hips slowly down onto him and got a sharp hiss from him. those same hands you craved came up to grab your hips.

“slow down, sweetheart,” butcher groaned. his eyes raked down your body. “fuckin’ fit little thing, ain’t ya? all sat nice ‘n pretty in daddy’s lap.”

a chill raked down your spine and part of you felt ashamed of how badly his words made your stomach flutter. it was probably the worst situation you could have ended up in. a twenty-two year old woman about to have sex with a man just over twice your age. the man who was supposed to be guiding you — teaching you in a dangerous field. the man who was supposed to know better than this.

you could care less about how wrong it was. the look in his eyes as you slid your bra off for him made up for it. his hands were rough as they played with your tits. it was clear that he was skilled, knowing exactly where to touch you that would have you pleading for more.

“stop fu—fucking around,” you snapped as threateningly as you could while butcher lazily stroked your clit through the front of your panties. his pace went tear-jerkingly rough for a moment and you sharply cried, “butcher!”

“have some fucken’ patience, love.” butcher taunted you, all while complying. he struggled to hide his own eagerness as he popped the stitches on the hip of your panties to get them off of you, ignoring your fiery complaints. “i’ll buy you new ones, quit yellin’.” he’d dismissed you absently.

in the meantime he hurried to free his cock, groaning the moment he started to run the leaking head through your slick folds. “look at ya. all worked up for me, ay?” the man teased, observing how red your face flushed. you were too tongue tied to argue with him, especially after he slid his thick cock into you without warning.

his hands locked around your hips, burying himself deep into you. you could feel him roll up against you, drawing a long whine from you. he offered you only a second to enjoy the fullness you felt before he dug his heels into the comforter and started to thrust up into you.

you grasped at his arms that were still at your sides for some leverage, your mind blanking. part of you was beyond irritated that you were letting butcher put you in such a position but every time the tip of his cock hit a visceral spot inside of you, you couldn’t bring yourself to think about it for too long. resisting against the viselike grip he had on your waist, you started shifting to match his slow thrusts.

“fuck, tight little cunt,” butcher hissed under his breath. the slight slip of his cocky demeanor gave you the upper hand now, so you started to set your own pace. butcher’s head fell back against the pillows as you started to bounce on his cock, bracing yourself on his chest. “that’s it, kid, keep goin’.”

you couldn’t help the moan that slipped at the nickname. it spurred you on. you ignored the burn in your thighs and worked yourself on his thick cock. tears pricked at your eyes, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

of all of the times you’d had sex before, nothing compared to this. to him. he filled you to the fucking brim, hitting all of the right spots and then some, knowing exactly how to get you going. part of you knew you should be hating this; fucking the man you considered your mentor. the man over half your age.

but you didn’t care. all you cared about was getting yourself off, pushing and pushing yourself as that coil in your stomach continued to tighten. butcher helped steady you when your pace began to falter, his thick fingers grasping your plush hips.

“c’mon, i’ve gotcha.” butcher coaxed you along. it hit you like a truck, stealing all of the air from your lungs and sending several tears streaking down your face. you felt him lift you up in your dazed state, and then you felt his load hit your stomach.

for a moment, it was quiet. both of you recollecting yourselves. butcher reached up to tuck your hair behind your ears. he kept asking if you were okay, likely because of the tear stains. it was a side of butcher you had never seen before. so caring and considerate.

even after you had fallen onto your back, slightly curled into his side, neither of you spoke for a while. then he cleared his throat. “ya know, i never meant to be so hard on ya.” he reluctantly admitted. “i just hate to see ya get hurt. you’re… you’re a kid, you shouldn’t be so wrapped up with us — with me.”

you listened. nodded understandingly. “i know, but it’s not like i have a choice. that’s how it was at first. but now… i’ve come this far. i’m comfortable with you guys.” you stopped yourself from rambling and getting too emotional. “sometimes i tell myself that my parents would be happy that i found people who take such great care of me. granted, they’d have hated you at first,” the sly comment earned a scoff from butcher. you laughed.

“but if i had to redo it all, i wouldn’t change anything.”

ending was a lil too soft for someone like butcher but i had no idea how to finish it so yea !

[slutz4marsh]

STAN MARSH X VIRGIN!FTM!READER SMUT

ok this one has a little backstory i guess? lore? anyway ive decided i get to consider myself a virgin still because i barely remember any of the times i've technically been touched & what i do remember is extremely traumatic. so i think as a treat for still being alive stan should take my virginity

this fic is probably going to be tooth rottingly sweet so im sorry in advance LMFAO

cw/tw: first time, stan calls reader "dude", stan is somewhat experienced reader is not, whiny soft pathetic stan

They say it starts with a kiss. You didn’t know about all that, you didn’t listen to The Killers all that much.

You and Stan had been on his bed making out on and off for about an hour. Stan’s hands wandered, drifting under your shirt and caressing the skin there gently. 

“You’re so pretty like this,” he whispered breathily.

You whined softly, overly sensitive to every touch. “Stan,” you breathed, hands gripping his jacket as though it was a lifeline.

Stan chuckled, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He loved how you reacted to him; so responsive and reactive. “You’re so cute when you’re all clingy,” he teased, giving your hands a gentle squeeze.

You shivered at his words. Your eyes flutter shut for a second. You swallowed thickly as Stan’s hands continued to wander, finding purchase on your body wherever possible.

“We should stop,” Stan said, his voice barely louder than a whisper as one hand dipped lower, tracing the band of your pants. His breath hitched as you whimpered.

“Last chance,” his eyes flicked up to your face, hoping for a sign.

Your own breath caught in your throat. “Have,” you panted softly. “Have you ever done this before?”

Stan smiled softly at you, his fingers tracing the edge of your pants. “God, dude, you’re adorable..” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. Couple times,” his hand paused. “You have too, haven’t you?”

His thumb hooked into your pants. You bit your lip.

You slowly, almost shyly, shook your head. “N… No,” you stammered quiet admittance. “Never.”

Stan’s eyes widened. He blinked, staring at you for a moment before bursting out laughing. “You’re joking,” He spoke incredulously. His hand tightens on your waist. “But you’re so… You’re so…” He trailed off, grinning.

You shook your head, adjusting somewhat nervously. “I’ve… Never. Not.. Not all the way.”

Stan’s grin faded, quickly replaced with a dumbfounded look. His hand drifted up, tracing over your chest. “But you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, frowning slightly. His hand paused over your heart. “Are you sure you want this?”

You paused. Did you? You decided yes in a matter of seconds. You nodded, slowly. “I… I want it to be you.”

Stan smiled warmly. “Okay,” he breathed. His hand drifted back down, tugging your pants down. His eyes flicked up to your face, seeking reassurance. His own heart raced in his chest. “You tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

You nodded, squirming slightly as Stan tugged your pants down your legs and tossed them off to the side somewhere.

Stan took a moment to admire the view before him. His eyes dragged over every inch of your skin. His hand reached out, gently brushing against your inner thigh. “You’re so pretty,” he mumbled. “I don’t wanna hurt you..”

“Just- go slow. Please.” You requested, flustered as you looked away from him.

Stan grinned softly, nodding. “Okay, you got it..” he murmured. His fingers drifted closer to your center, brushing against the soft, coarse curls there. “Hey- look at me,” he said softly, a gentle command.

You looked up, already dripping wet just from the kissing and Stan’s soft teasing. You look at Stan, eyes darting back and forth across his face.

Stan’s heart melted at the nervous and yet oh so trusting look in your eyes. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you,” he murmured against your skin. His fingers drifted down to your clit, stroking the small length slowly. “You’re gonna feel so good. Promise.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden stimulation. You let out a breathy sigh as your head fell back against the pillows.

Stan smiled warmly, his hands working slowly. He watched your face intently, gauging your reactions. “You like that?” he asked softly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles around the base of your slick, throbbing flesh.

You nodded, clenching the sheets in your fist with one hand. “Yeah,” you breathed, nervous. Shy. Stan’s ministrations only made you even wetter than before, folds shining with your arousal. Stan’s smile widened, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He leaned down and pressed his lips to your neck as he slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth over the highly sensitive nub. His other hand slowly inched lower, parting your folds to gently rub at your entrance.

You whined softly, instinctively attempting to close your legs at the soft prodding at your delicate, untouched pussy.

Stan gently pushed your legs back open, fingers tracing soothing patterns on your inner thighs. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered against your neck. His thumb continued to rub at your clit, his other finger slowly pressing against your entrance and applying gentle pressure. “You’re so tight..”

You took a few deep breaths. Your breaths became sharper as you felt Stan slowly work his index finger inside of you. “Mm-” you breathed, eyes squeezing shut as you whined softly.

Stan’s own breath hitched as he felt you slowly relax and take more of his finger. He moaned softly against your neck, his hand moving slowly. 

“You’re doing so well,” he praised softly. “You’re taking it like such a good boy.”

You panted softly. You felt almost euphoric. You’d never felt anything like this. Your breath caught again as Stan started to slowly work a second finger into you.

Stan’s heart swelled with a mix of love and pride for you as he stretched you open with his fingers. He curled them slightly, brushing against your sweet spot as he pumped his fingers in and out slowly. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he murmured against your skin. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

You made a sound of pleasure that sounded something like “Mmhph,” and writhed as Stan’s fingers brush against that spot inside your weeping cunt.

Stan’s eyes widened at the sound you made. He knew he’d found the right spot. He started to rub against it consistently, his fingers pumping in and out of your tight pussy at a steady pace.

“Oh god, dude,” he breathed. “You’re gonna make me cum just watching you.”

You squirmed. Stan’s fingers continued to stretch you out in preparation for what was next. “Mmh,” you whined softly, back arching slightly. You’re more responsive than anyone Stan had ever been with.

Stan’s mouth drifted lower, his lips closing over one of your nipples. He sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to circle around the hardened nub. His fingers continued to work in and out of you, scissoring to stretch you further. Stan’s own body ached with need.

You panted softly. “Oh, fuck,” you cursed, head falling back as you began to tense up once again.

Stan’s eyes met yours, his hand slowing its pace. 

“Not yet, baby,” he whispered softly, his thumb gently rubbing at your swollen, throbbing flesh. “Not ‘til I’m inside you.”

He slowly removed his fingers and brought them to his mouth, sucking your slickness off of them.

You whimpered softly, eyes dilating at the erotic sight. You swallowed hard and adjusted yourself again, spreading your legs apart further.

Stan settled between your spread thighs, his hard length pressing against your slick entrance. He took himself in one hand, rubbing the tip up and down your folds, coating himself in your arousal.

“Last chance to back out,” he murmured, the tip of his cock pressing against your hole.

You squirmed slightly, but you shook your head. “I-” you began, voice breathy. Whiny. “I want it to be you, Stan.” You repeated your earlier sentiment. You reached out to grab Stan’s free hand.

Stan’s face softened at your words. He intertwined your fingers, bringing your joined hands to rest on the pillow beside your head.

He leaned down to kiss you slowly, deeply, as he finally began to push inside. “I love you,” he groaned.

You let out another pleasured-slash-pained noise as Stan pushed inside. You panted softly, body tense as you adjusted to the new feeling. Or at least attempted to.

Stan paused, letting you get used to the feel of him. He nuzzled into the side of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. 

“Breathe for me, baby,” he whispered, his hand tightening around yours. “Just breathe.”

You did so as best you could, working through the strange feeling of the intrusion. You nodded almost weakly as you looked up at Stan.

Stan slowly started to push in further, his length stretching you open. He kept his pace slow and gentle, not wanting to hurt you. As he pushed in further, he rested his forehead against yours, your noses touching.

“You okay, baby?” He asked softly, voice trembling with need.

You nodded. Your pussy was tight around Stan. Warm and wet and tight, periodically spasming around him.

Stan hissed softly at the feeling of you clenching on him. “You feel so good,” he moaned, slowly continuing to push inside. He paused again when he was fully sheathed inside you, giving you a moment to adjust. “You take me so well, baby..”

You breathed, whimpering softly. You’d never felt this full. Your fingers were nothing compared to this. You wrapped your arms around Stan’s neck, tight as you pulled him closer. 

Stan wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as he started to slowly move his hips. He set a steady, gentle rhythm, his length dragging along your inner walls with each thrust. 

“You’re doing so well, love,” he praised softly, voice thick with emotion and desire.

You moaned softly, eyes squeezing shut again. Your breath came in sharp little gasps and pants as you grew wetter and wetter around Stan.

Stan buried his face in the crook of your neck, his pace quickening as your heat grew wetter and wetter. His own breath came in short pants, his voice reduced to needy whimpers and praises for you. “Feels so good, baby..”

You whined softly and buried your face in Stan’s shoulder, teeth grazing the skin there slightly as you parted your lips.

“Mm- y’feel r-really good, Stan,” you panted softly.

Stan shuddered at the sensation of your teeth grazing his skin, his hips moving faster as he loses himself in the feeling of being inside you. He chants your name like a prayer three times, his voice broken and desperate. “You’re so fucking perfect, baby.”

You gripped his back, nails digging into the skin and scratching. You’d never felt this good in your whole goddamn life. 

“Stan,” you breathed, teeth grazing Stan’s shoulder again as you refused to remove your head from right there.

Stan gasped at the sensation of your nails digging into his back. He buried his face further into the crook of your neck, his hips snapping forward as he continued to thrust into you. 

“Gonna cum soon, baby,” he panted softly. He knew he wouldn’t last like this, but he also couldn’t stop.

You whimpered softly. “Me too,” you whispered. Your cunt twitched right after, almost as a warning. A confirmation, maybe.

Stan’s thrusts became erratic as his own climax approached. He buried his face deeper into your neck, his hips stuttering as he fought to hold on.

“Dude, please,” he whined, his voice cracking. “I can’t hold back much longer.”

You squirmed slightly. You were moaning and panting, whining and gasping. You could feel Stan’s dick twitching inside of you, also as if as a warning.

“Please,” you whispered.

With a final, deep thrust, Stan buried himself all the way inside you. He cried out, his body shuddering as his orgasm overtook him. He moaned your name, cock pulsing as he came deep inside your tight heat.

And that triggered your own orgasm. You moaned loudly, whole body shaking and convulsing. You bit down on Stan’s shoulder, still whining – only muffled against the skin now.

Stan held you close as he felt your pussy clench and ripple around his sensitive cock, milking him for every last drop.

He moaned softly at the feeling of you biting his shoulder, his own hips still twitching with the aftershocks of his intense orgasm.

The bite almost seemed to elongate Stan’s orgasm as his cock twitched and pumped a few more spurts into your now well-loved pussy.

You whined softly as you felt Stan fill you up to the brim. You panted softly, eyes fluttering shut.

Stan gently stroked your hair as you both came down from your highs. His softening cock was still nestled inside the warm, slick heat of your pussy.

“That was amazing, baby,” Stan mumbled, pressing soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. “You did so well.”

You panted softly, gripping Stan’s shoulders tightly. You opened your eyes to look at Stan. Your heart swelled. You smiled softly.

“I’m glad it was you,” you managed to whisper.

Stan’s eyes softened as he gazed right back at you, his own heart fluttering in his chest. “Me too, baby,” He whispered. “Me too. I love you, man.” He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, his arms tightening around you protectively.

[laelelinae]

HI can i plsplspls request haikyuu characters & how they ask you to be their partner?? w kenma, suna, iwa, & atsumu?

how did they ask you out?

featuring: Kenma,Suna,Iwaizumi & Atsumu! High school and time skip version!!!

Warnings: not rlly proof read,I just wrote this right in the morning when I woke up 😭

HUHU I THOUGHT I CAN START OFF WITH THIS FIRST!! I WILL DO THE REST OF THE REQUEST SOONN!

Kenma HS:

Lowkey I feel like Kenma would’ve told Kuroo,then Kuroo snitched on him because he felt like Kenma was a whimp and wouldn’t budge to ask you out.

Here’s how I imagine it💀

So, Kuroo came to classroom in the morning. Asked you can you go to the end of the hallway after school

You thought Kuroo was gonna ask you out GAHAHA

And then after school you went to the end of the hallway as Kuroo said, you spotted him with Kenma?!?

As you went there Kuroo was like “okay so you see ,this boy LIKESSS you. He will be a good boyfriend, trust” 😝

And..you just laughed at it,OF COURSE YOU ACCEPTED IT!

Kenma was redder than tomato that day..

———————-

Kenma TS:

I feel like he probably met you on some sort of collaboration in another country yk?

He got quite attached to you after that so when he went back to Japan,he started calling you often (he never got bored of you)

Then this little bitch boy never realized he had feelings ,literally. Honestly he was busy streaming all day but he kept thinking of you and mentioning you in the streams.

Soo..you and him just kept streaming together..till fans started shipping you two CRAZY

Probably told Hinata after that and Hinata was like “owh,you should confess” first time in Kenma life,he took an advice like that.

I feel like he would’ve confessed to you after a long stream with you.

So before you two ended the call,Kenma breathed heavily and looked at you in the camera 😭

“Y/n I like you”

HE GOT SO EMBARRASSED HE LEFT THE CALL LMFAOAO

The rest of the night you just had a long conversation with him about this, of course you accepted his confession :)

—————————

Suna HS:

Lowkey you were probably NOT a fan boy or girl ,he probably likes a bold and doesn’t mind to stand up for others and themselves type of person

You probably had a “enemies” to lovers with him LMFAO

You were in the same class as him,your actually a pretty good student, good grades ,top, blah blah whatever

He does kinda admired that.

You know how some boys would mess with you when they have a crush on you? THATS HIM!!

Soo he started just looking at you pretty often,instantly looking away when you noticed it.

And …out of the blue he started talking to you. And became your close friend? (Sneaky..)

Then he started messing with you like,stealing your pen(he does give it back later),putting your stuff high in the air till you can’t reach it,say some shit like “shortie” “nerd” honestly just teasing you know?

HE WHINED YOU TO GO TO HIS PRACTICE

Okay after a few months of THAT,on some random day. At the school rooftop ,you were eating lunch with him. He just said “Y/n I like you”

And you started dating him😝😝

———————

Suna TS:

I feel like he was getting a morning coffee at some local cafe that had great reviews.

And..you were the cashier there!😝

He prefers fresh coffee more since I feel like he doesn’t like bottled coffee ?

His eyes instantly landed on you 😭🙏

He was like “zamnn..that’s a pretty cashier..lemme 𝓇𝒾𝓏𝓏😍”

LMFAO IM SORRY I FEEL LIKE HES A BIT BRAIN ROTTED IN THESE MODERN DAYS YK?

So while he came up to you,ordered his drink. He non stopped looking at you.

Day after day..he just kept going to only see you.

And he did some stalking on social media and found your Instagram! And he texted you.

You swore you got a literal heart attack from that like,a literal pro volleyball player just texted you normie?

Then he just asked to like hangout with you since he said “oh I think your pretty cool” LMFAO

Then when you got closer to him,one day when you were about to close the cafe around night time (every other staff was gone)

This man appeared outta nowhere ,runs to you and looks at you panting.

“Y/n,I like you. Can I take you out?” BOLDDDD

And you did accepted it!

——————-

Iwaizumi HS:

Lowkey maybe you were Oikawa’s and Iwa’s close friend ,like everyone knew that in the school. You knew Oikawa and Iwa since you were kids ,I guess

Soo he probably had a crush on you in middle school but you were so focused on studies he never tried to budge to ask you out.

So when high school rolled around,your last year. And you three knew you were gonna separate your ways.

Soo on your literal graduation,he felt like it was the day to tell you

You know in Japan boys would confess to the girls they like and give the girl the boys uniform button that’s the most near their heart? HE DID THAT!!

You were honestly so touched by this,you literally hugged him and started crying and everyone near by you guys were like proud parents. ESPECIALLY OIKAWA.

Like you were crying,hugging him. Under the cherry blossom tree LMFAO.

———————-

Iwaizumi TS:

(This doesn’t connects with the high school confession one)

Okay so,he probably reunited with you by Oikawa since you were pretty busy with your career and you kinda cut off everyone after graduation?

You only kept in contacts with Oikawa since you knew him the most ykyk?

So after a game,you and Iwa started talking blah blah blah.

Over the months you guys got closer and closer again😝

And thennn one day after he finished training with the gang ,(you were watching them that day)

He asked you to stay behind and his so called gang was peeking through the literal door in the gymnasium LMFAO.

He sat down,you sat down and he spoke.

“Y/n..I liked you since high school..can I be your boyfriend?” HUHUHUHU

THE REST OF GANG OUTSIDE WAS TWEAKING ,LITERAL PRAYERS NOTHING WILL GO WRONG.

And you smiled at him,just saying a simple agreement (boy ,Iwa was literally blushing so badly)

THE REST OF THE GANG CHEERED SO LOUDLY ESPECIALLY FUCKING OIKAWA. YOU TWO LITERALLY HEARD THEM LMFAO

——————————

Atsumu HS:

You surely wasn’t his fan girl 😭 idk does bro even like his fans ngl.

He probably was your classmate,he kinda admired you like how Suna did.

He just kept looking at you often,giving you small silly waves and smiles like :D whenever you pass by him (he does this multiple times a day)

Of course it got kinda sus..well his teammates literally knew he probably had a crush on you,and his fan girls was not happy💀

And then..one day,you stayed after schools at the library to study. After that you just packed your bags and go

Atsumu literally skipped training for this 💀

He catches up to you,offering to walk you home. Well of course you accepted without hesitation.

It started off like this, he asked did you like anyone. And you said yes 😳

So he got all whiny like “tell meeeeee” but you refused,asking him does he like anyone and who.

He started making you guess who he liked by giving you details THAT PERFECTLY DESCRIBED YOU.

And you finally made the guess of saying “me?”

And he nodded!

“Okay,can I be your boyfriend now?”

——————

Atsumu TS:

I feel like you were probably helping around Osamu’s small restaurant?

And when Atsumu came for a small visit,eyes literally landed on you instantly.

He lowkey kinda backed up,since he thought you were his brother girlfriend😭

And after you left ,atsumu asked him questions about you and his osamu was like “no she’s not my girlfriend,she’s just helping around”

Atsumu literally flew out of the chair in happiness💀

Soo over the course of weeks,he started talking to you when he visits. He sometimes even brought you stuff.

Okay so one time ,Osamu had something to do. So you took his place to take care of the restaurant that day.

And atsumu knew 😭

When you were gonna close,atsumu came in and he was hiding something behind his hands

Soo he waited for you to finish the rest,after your doneee..

He sat you down..and just boldly spoke

“Can I be your boyfriend y/n,pretty please?”

And you did accept his confession ,BOY Osamu was PROUD!

———————

HUHUHUHU I HAD A FUN TIME WRITING THIS !! I WILL WRITE THE REST SOON!! TRUST!😝

[conquezts]

Would I be delusional if I said that marriage could have been such a good meaning/metaphor for Alex and Nigel's final scene?

LET ME EXPLAIN

I'm not saying it was anything intentional but it's just a funny coincidence I think and a fun observation, and I'll try to make this as simple as I can because I got ZERO hours of sleep and I can't think for the life of me.

So we all know the way Alex describes his feelings and thoughts towards Nigel almost resembles a crush sometimes, but the way Nigel's plan is worded almost sounds like a metaphor on marrying Alex LMAO hear me out.

In Catholicism, marriage is a sacrament considered a sacred UNION between two individuals where they will be bound for ETERNITY together (Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.) Union is a big word that goes into marriage, same as being together forever aka eternity (a huge reason on why divorce isn't allowed in multiple places.)

Who else keeps talking about wanting to reach eternity, achieving it with Alex, becoming one with him, and living in his head forever? Nigel. You could even consider the part where he gives Alex help for his schoolwork as courtship, and Alex accepting it—which is kind of where Nigel's entire ritual was set officially—and the proposal was the scene where he took Alex to his creepy ass room underneath his house and told him all those things LMFAO

And then onto the actual part of why it seemed like a marriage.

Back to Genesis 2:24—Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother (Well, they're dead that's for sure) and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (this being the actual scene.)

Come on, Nigel shouting at Alex that they will be united in an almost desperate way?? And my favourite line, "Pray for me. Pray for yourself. We're one now." WE'RE ONE NOW. Through the ritual, they have been united and became one flesh. It was their vows guys, trust. Vows that basically said that death will NOT do them part, ever.

I wish I could explain it better, like how I thought about it before, but I'm running on pure soda rn, not even coffee, but I hope it made sense or I might just be high off tiredness

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 171 spoilers and thoughts but i'm mostly just going "YAY I LIKED THIS MOMENT" and more below the cut

.

.

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DEMON KING LLOYD HELLO. HELLO?? WHAT. WHY?? BUT WOW. HOLY SHIT. I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS

I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS GAIN WINGS AND HORNS AND . GHGHHGHGHHG AAAHHH ITS MY FAVORITE THING if you didn't already know dragon lloyd was like one of my favorite all-time panels so this is VERY AWESOME FOR ME YAYYY YAAAAYYY HAHAHA

LIKE SERIOUSLY LOOK HE GOT FANGS N SHIT AND. OH MY GODD THE SMOKE SLIPPING PAST HIS LIPS IM SO??? THAT'S SO COOL. I LOVE WHEN THEY DO THAT WITH SMOKE AND MONSTROUS FORMS OF CHARACTERS

genuinely i need to draw this asap. pacing issues aside i am obsessed with how sick this is. i love this a LOT

ok ok back to the top bc theres some stuff i wanna touch on from before demon king lloyd got revealed! because...

"master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us".

EXCUSE ME WHAT

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFF SCREEN, LLOYD TOOK TIME OUT OF HIS BUSY ASS DAY. TO TEACH THE KIDS HOW TO PLAY SOCCER. AND THEY HAVE PLAYED ENOUGH TO BE FAMILIAR ENOUGH TO PLAY ON THEIR OWN. WHICH MEANS THAT LLOYD . PLAYED SOCCER WITH THEM . AND WE FIND THIS OUT. NOW?? I. GGHH. THATS SO. CUTE. IM GOING TO BITE HIM. THE FUCKER. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

the fact that they go up to ask him im going to EXPLODE?!?!?

he looks so nonchalant abt it here im cryinf

AND LOOK AT THEM GO THIS IS SO SO SWEET IM VERY GLAD LYRA GOT TO PLAY WITH THEM I LIKE THIS A LOT

this scene, and the beginning scene where the adults were just so casual with her and treating her as a living person with feelings and someone that they can talk to was so so heartwarming i oooghhh my heart

AND THEN THERE HE IS. SMILING IN THE BACK. YOU ASS.

I SEE YOU BEING KIND AND EMPATHETIC AND SELFLESS LLOYD. YOU LOST THE NONCHALANT WAR. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE

christ. i fucking HATE him /j /aff

it is also VERY silly that they're so casual abt. destruction like that HELPPP they got it from someone sob sob, though i imagine since most of the estate consists of people who have done construction it probably isnt that big of a deal when things get destroyed every now n then

and lyra looks so damn happy,,, god im so glad she had a good experience, she really needed one :')

also i completely LOST it when the kid got mad at lyra for not responding with a yes or no HELPPP JESUS CHRIST

again they,,, got it from someone HAHA though honestly i think it tracks. kids can be straightforwardly brutal in their language, especially when they don't really have biases or cares for who they are speaking to. as crazy as this instance looks (LMFAO) i think this fits well with the context of the straightforwardness of children and considering the person who they look up to at the estate. i think it was good for lyra to meet a human child her age who can speak straightforwardly and not skirt past things, if that makes sense? i hope it does!

AND THE DEMON KING TRANSFORMATION i already talked abt it above but i wanna point out this blue system box here

a power outside of the system?!?? what does this mean for the protagonist of the new prequel bk_moon is writing?? is the weather forecasting included in this???

my first assumption right now is that the demon king power is just an in-world power system while everything else (ie the weather forecasting) is external, blue-textbox system. maybe? so lloyd got the demon king power which comes with skills separate from the ones that the system can provide? that would explain why there's no indication of lloyd trying to use the weather forecasting, he probably can't use it,,,? except i dont know why artanis can use it in that case. most likely i am overthinking it LMFAO

semi-related, i am a little confused as to why artanis did this? i guess she really, really trusted him w this power? or maybe her weather forecasting noted that this would be something good to do i have no idea,,, it Does feel a bit sudden i won't lie, i'm not sure how earned this is

also javier and everyone else not reacting that much to the demon king status. SENT ME HAHA "... nothing's changed." LOL

deadpan humor never fails to make me giggle ily javier

also loved the moment where the two of them were bein serious for a sec,,, they've got a job to do they've got people to protect. lloyd will stop fate and javier will be right besides him...

i think showing them at emily's wedding really cements how much they really, REALLY need to fight fate now. the novel events happening is very very bad, but it feels like now that so many people, emily especially, have found THIS much happiness in their lives,,, failing to stop fate will hit even harder. i really like the analogy of a taut bow that the dragon king used when he first described it, bc it's really REALLY showing how much the repercussions will hit if they fail. im praying they succeed,,, please,,, i need a happy ending or i will curl up and turn into an actual shrimp irl.

and now the demons have to build the pantara railroad,,, artanis's expression omfg

she really didn't,,, know,,, she trusted him that much,,,, girl,,,

but it's ok. it'll be a net positive trust! that's how lloyd does things!!! and then soon we'll get the happy ending where we can get the eye of summer and beat up fate and then silly fun times YAYY <- probably copium

some other thoughts of note that i had with a dear mutual (hi sprout :3) about this ep:

we were talking about how the plot seems to be paced right now, and honestly i'm of the opinion that while yes its Technically moving, the way they're ending each ep in this current arc makes it feel like it's going both very slow and very fast, that is to say it feels like it's not moving at all

bc they're like "okay NOW we're gonna do the build project" and it's been like that for several episodes now. pieces are moving but we're going past the point of it all too fast (especially the whole demon king thing. mentioned this before but while cool, doesn't feel as earned simply bc we're both tackling each point and yet blowing past all the points, so it's a lot less satisfying than it should be (despite how awesome it is,,, oh lloyd you give me so much internal conflict </3))

it does make me a lil worried that they're gonna timeskip the hell out of the pantara railroad build. however this episode, although it still has a weird pacing/movement issue, does feel a little bit better than the last two imo, so i have hope that it'll turn out okay, that it'll start heading up! i'm actually really excited to see where they go with this and i'm sure that even if the pacing is still goofy i'll have some kind of fun with it (seriously the panels this ep were wonderful HAHA)

anyway that's all for this week! extremely excited for the next ep,,, ill see yall then,,, lets go pantara railroad arc!!!

[strang3lov3]

hi cutie, if you don't mind me asking, how did your fiancé pop the question to you?

Lol I don’t mind at all! It’s one of my favorite stories.

He dropped every hint imaginable. I remember he came home one day and he had a pair of tiny diamond studs for me. I already own a nice pair of diamond earrings lol I wear them every day and he knows this. I was like “oh what are these for“ and he was like ohhh nothin. Sir. I KNOWWWWW that a very popular engagement ring website offers like a free pair of diamond earrings with a purchase of $X.

So I was like you bought me an engagement ring and he got all blushyyyy. I wouldn’t leave it alone, either, because I’m the worst. Finally, he was like yeah I did fuck off and I was like “can I see it” and he let me try it on to make sure it fit!! Actually I wore that ring illegally for two months before he finally proposed. He’d catch me sometimes and be like get that off your finger you are not my fiancé yet lol

He tried to propose one night in early November 2023 but he was cock blocked by my ovarian cyst. I went to the ER instead. He showed my dad the ring while we were all in the ER and I was gone temporarily, but I totally saw my dad holding it when I came back. And then I also saw when my dad dropped the ring on the floor outside my hospital room lol while faking a conversation with my partner

He finally proposed a week after that. He took me to a pretty park and did the whole one knee thing but I really had to pee so I didn’t let him get the whole “will you marry me” sentence out, I just snatched that fuckin ring and put it on my own finger and started heading back to the car while doing kegels. I didn’t even say yes 💀

He told me I have really bad getting proposed to etiquette and he’s right LMFAO. He also says when he buys my wedding band, he’s hiding it so I can’t sneakily wear it every day. He said he learned his lesson and I cannot be trusted. He’s right. I love him lol

[itsrlymine]

Hi bb,

Presently and for the time being, this blog really is THAT BITCH lmao and you know how I know it’s legit? That ur legit?

Because I NEVER interact beyond a “like”, and if I do it’s only ever been one quick message of kudos. And look at me here now! Lmfao got me over typing out a whole ass paragraph😂 Love love love the me that is you and the aura you’re radiating! And the mirroring has been too hilarious💀 from you and all the success stories from miss girl deciding that her man isn’t some one else’s child’s father, to miss mister nonbinary feeling like they would enjoy having their friend group again, and so many more… but those two specifically had me gagged laughing my ass off when I saw them cus they were such unique reflections the way they were reflected to me that I’m not the only one “manifesting” these things and that I’m not a bad person for wanting this😌

Guys, hear me clearly on this: when it comes to intentionally aligning with that which you want to be, we gotta be honest with ourselves about where we’re actually at if we’re ever gonna get more powerful. I had to face the truth that I didn’t have enough “knowing”/“trust” to do a lot of the things I wanted to when I first “remembered” (aka learned about) the “Law”. So I decided to work smarter and just work the damn “process” (of building up “knowing”) until I got the hang of it.

And I’m soooo excited to share that recently I was just chillin casually enjoying this blogs success stories when it started to hit me like wow look at all these birds before land lol I finally made it! From starting at damn near below zero in terms of skill in execution (back in spring of 2021), all the way to now (almost winter of 2024), it took me about 3 years give or take but babyyyyyy I made it🙌

And the craziest part is it’s only just the beginning🤯 don’t get it twisted, over these past 3 years theres actually been a lot of manifestations that have unfolded through me, but any moment now I can feel it that some of the much more “significant” experiences I would enjoy are going to materialize in the physical and I’m honestly over here like 👁️👄👁️ like fuckkkkkkkk it’s hereeeeee? after all this time am I readyyyyyyyy????????? Lmao I’m tryna act cool and keep it chill but everybody on this blog just keeps getting me so hype it actually inspired me to participate and share a little bit for once

Which is all apart of the unfolding going on over here cus I knew personally I wasn’t gonna start participating period point blank anywhere or with anyone until I really started getting somewhere with this whole “manifesting” thing

So yeah just a little contribution to add to the mix of all the happiness and celebrations that everyone is enjoying here together on this blog

See you all again soon, probably with some success stories or pointers that might ✨inspire✨ someone

-🪽🤍🪽-

Hello 🪽🤍🪽!!!!

I feel like I deffo "started" journey around that time as well. Thank you so much for your wonderful message my love! Thank you for proving how legit my page is. I'm honored to have your stamp of approval!! Miss mister nonbinary is f*cking insane babe. Ummm💀

We are deffo not the only ones looking to experience something new and is is great being able to see the reflections in others. Once you know you are that which you want to experience, literally everything falls in line and there is no work to no done.

Don't try to keep it chill. Be hype asf! That's why we are all here!!!

[spadeprincesss]

I forget how to send asks so I hope this is the place

Who goes to who for advice or just to get things off their chest? Is there someone each wouldn’t go to for advice? Do they all go to Zelda? Like maybe blue wouldn’t go to Zelda for certain things/ all the time cuz idk maybe he wouldn’t want her to know he’s struggling with something? (even though we all know, she already knows when something’s up with her links)

This was sent in by @saltyskychild as a submission and idk how to answer other than editing so my answer below the cut!!!

Gonna start with a list of who goes to who for advice the most and the least!

Green:

Zelda - literally for everything, she knows all his secrets and he knows hers

Blue - to confide in, if he needs a shoulder to lean or cry on and Zelda isn’t available he knows Blue will have his back (and also beat up whatever made him upset)

Vio - for a practical response, he trust Vio and he knows that if he’s lost as to what to do then Vio will have an answer for him

Red - also for emotional support, but he can be a little reluctant because he hates that if he goes to vent and starts crying then Red will cry too and he hates making Red cry

Shadow - don’t get me wrong Green cares for Shadow a whole lot but he knows Shadow doesn’t understand his own feelings most of the time so he doesn’t want to burden Shadow with his own

Red:

Vio - Red often goes to Vio first to find a way to just rant without having to put his thoughts in order, Vio just lets him get it out before helping him sort it all out

Blue - Red LOVES Blue, but he hesitates to confide in him at times because he worries Blue will get a tad too protective and go straight to punching whoever made him sad. He IS Red’s first option when he needs optimal comfort though, like if he feels he needs a hug he will run to Blue (Blue gives the best hugs fight me)

Shadow - mostly to gossip LMFAO, Shadow also gives great hugs and always offers to kill anyone for him, Red has yet to take him up on the offer

Green - Red loves going to Green for comfort, he always listens intently and waits until he’s done to give him his input much like Vio does, Red just hates burdening him because Green is always so busy

Zelda - same as Green, hates burdening her but trusts her 100%, crying on her shoulder is a healing experience

Blue:

Red - Blue knows he can always go to Red, it’s always hard to get him to open up because of his pride but when he does open up it’s always to Red first. He knows Red would never judge him for being vulnerable so when it’s time to break down he only wants Red to see him

Green - Green is Blue’s closest friend, he trusts Green to always keep his secrets and give sound advice, but Green is also going to be his King soon and that makes him want to be even stronger so he can always keep Green safe from inevitable threats

Zelda - Blue has an immense respect for Zelda, as his friend, as a ruler, and as a person overall; he watched her rule her kingdom from a young age and keep the peace all six of them fought hard for. However as his queen he’s sworn loyalty to he tries not to bother her, keeps a respectable distance that Zelda herself tries to narrow

Vio - Blue and Vio’s relationship can seem complicated from an outsiders perspective, they poke and prod, they tease, but as they’ve grown and matured they’ve each learned when its ok to make fun and when you need to back off (it took a lot of trial and error throughout the years trust). Much like the others if Blue needs an answer to a question he will go to Vio, but it’s hard for him to open up emotionally to him because Vio always seems to kept together and he doesn’t want to fall behind

Shadow - to Blue Shadow is super fun to be around, they used to get into a lot of mischief together when they were younger and although they’ve matured a lot they find trouble one way or another. They’re both good friends, but Blue and Shadow are the masters of bottling things up so you won’t catch them having a heart to heart very often

Vio:

Shadow - the love of his life, Shadow knows things about Vio that Vio himself wishes weren’t true. Shadow sometimes understands what Vio needs before he even says it; and Vio doesn’t cry often but the times he has it’s been with Shadow there to put him back together

Red - Red is a great confidant, and Vio’s best friend, and although Vio considers himself the smartest in the group he knows Red has him beat in emotional intelligence, so when it’s his turn to be vulnerable (which he hates) Red helps him prepare for it

Zelda - Vio loves Zelda’s company, she’s smart and witty, yet completely honest with him; in Zelda’s rare free time they’ll sit and have tea together and talk about anything and everything. Vio would never admit it but Zelda is the funniest person he knows (he doesn’t want to hurt Shadow’s feelings)

Green - Vio trusts Green wholeheartedly, he’d put his life in Green’s hands in a heartbeat, but Vio doesn’t like how Green tends to hover so he hesitates to show any distress around him

Blue - as mentioned before Vio and Blue’s relationship is complicated, Vio doesn’t like showing vulnerability around Blue because he knows it makes Blue feel awkward seeing him as anything less than perfectly kept together. However not to say Blue wouldn’t be there for him, he would, they both would, but they try to keep strong in front of each other, it gives them a sense of normalcy and security they often need

Shadow:

Vio - just like it is vice versa, Vio often knows that Shadow is feeling down or overwhelmed before he himself knows, and although Shadow thought he would hate that he doesn’t. Vio is the one who taught him how to feel more than just anger and scorn, Vio gave him his first real laugh of joy, his first tears of sorrow and heartbreak, and even after all that Vio made up for it and taught him that he was able to feel all of that because he was in love. There’s no secrets between them

Zelda - to many people’s surprise Zelda is Shadow’s best friend, when he was first brought back he gravitated towards her, wanting to repay her for making him realize he wasn’t just a puppet of darkness but his own person. She took his emotions in stride and alongside Vio taught him so much about what he feels, so he confides everything to her

Red - Shadow and Red are very close, when Shadow needs a laugh or a smile he’ll rush to Red, he always has kind words for Shadow no matter what, confiding in his isn’t as easy as it is with Vio and Zelda but Red has always understood that and it helps put Shadow at ease. Again they gossip a lot together

Green - Shadow doesn’t go to Green often, much like Vio he doesn’t want him to overly worry and hover, but while he isn’t Shadow’s first option, he always brings a sense of belonging that means a lot to him

Blue - like mentioned earlier Shadow and Blue are masters if bottling things up, most of the time when Shadow goes to Blue it goes “hey this person made Red/Vio/Green/Zelda sad wanna go beat them up together?”

Zelda:

Green - that’s her soulmate, her other half; Green knows Zelda’s deepest fears and worries that she can’t allow herself to share with anyone else. He knows of her visions of the future and her past lives, of how much past wars haunt her, and he holds her through it all, when he proposed he promised to always keep her and her people safe, he would always be a hero worthy of her

Shadow - Zelda loves Shadow, you’d think she’d be scared of him given he was once her kidnapper, but as she’s always said “I wasn’t scared of you then and I’m not scared of you now”. Shadow is only slightly disappointed, but loves how she’ll ask for him when she’s overwhelmed, saying she needs someone who won’t try to sugarcoat anything from her. Zelda knows Shadow would move mountains for her and she would do the same

Vio - Zelda made Vio one of her advisors early on, she values not only his practical knowledge but his resourcefulness as well, they’ve spent many a late night pouring over documents together and its led to deep conversations. Vio takes as much workload off her shoulders as he legally can and she in turn forces him to take breaks

Red - Red is the little brother Zelda always wanted, as a single child who had to grow up too fast having someone so kind and fun to be around is something she cherishes so deeply. When she needs a hug she’ll seek him out, she knows she’ll always leave an encounter with Red with a smile on her face

Blue - Zelda knows she can trust all her boys with her life, and Blue is no exception, they don’t often confide in each other, but let’s just say that after a certain encounter that leaves Green in a terrible state Zelda learns Blue is not as cold hearted as she feared he was, and she’s made an effort to break down his walls. No knight should have to face monsters on their own, wether they be external or internal

So long story short these six idiots all love each other, but as you could have guessed they have certain people they go to for certain worries/situations. I can’t wait to share more on their relationships with one another!

[motelroomjesus]

Okay so.... I read the entire The Heart Killers novel in one sitting. How did I do that??? By ignoring my responsibilities, BUT I had a lot of fun LMFAO

I'm excited to see how they adapt this to the screen. It really is your typical assassin story, but the classics are classics for a reason! Unexpectedly fluffy for the premise, but also this a f4f (freak4freak) romance. Really excited to see how they manage to show the sex on screen because zoo wee mama..... the boys are crazy. Anyway, reading the novel has solidly cemented Fadel as my favorite character, such an unexpected side to him that I think all the viewers have already clocked just from the first two episodes.

I'm gonna talk about some characters and plot spoilers now so don't read under the cut if spoilers ruin your life

Okay, so already they've deviated just a bit from the novel, I'm assuming due to time and filming constraints (u know the usual). Mostly with Fadel and Style's story, it's nothing major tbh they just got the ball rolling pretty fast on them. They've stayed true to the characters, especially Style! Style is just as flirty and bold in the novel as he is in the show, which makes the bomb of him being romantically and sexually inexperienced in every aspect all the more shocking, even to Fadel. Their first sexual encounter together was rough until Fadel realized that he was Style's first. It was a really revealing moment for both those characters to me as a reader. It's the first time we see Fadel falter in front of anyone and the first time we see Style fully drop the confident mask he puts on. A very vulnerable moment and it's definitely the catalyst that propelled them MUCH closer to each other emotionally (and physically 😵‍💫).

Oh, FADEL...... He is so shxkbdksn. I love him to bits, like honestly. He is so deprived of affection. He is genuinely so soft hearted whether it's about his brother or his lover, he's constantly looking out for them. Even when he confronts Style later on, he's not even mad. He's so genuinely filled with sorrow and sadness that it's come to that, what he thought was the conclusion of the only love he's allowed himself was genuinely heartbreaking for him and it was apparent despite the tough assassin facade he was trying to keep up in front of Style. He is SO devoted and loyal. Love him BAD.

Bison, also seems to be presented pretty novel accurate so far. He seems too carefree and naive, but he's had a knife in his hand just in case the whole time. He really wants to live a different life. He wants out really bad and, unlike Fadel who made that decision after Style, Bison came to that before he even met Kant. He wants to fall in love and do laundry and cuddle with someone. He just wants true freedom. It made me feel even worse when he finds out of Kant's betrayal because he chose to let that guard down despite the gnawing feeling he had in the back of his head that he can't trust anyone. He took the chance on Kant and it ended up biting him in the ass. Also, we need more power bottoms I LOVE U BISON !!

Now Kant...... I can't say I liked him all that much until the end of the novel. 😭 He's genuinely selfish unless it's about his little brother and very much gives every man for themselves. He's all about self-preservation. He had no problem pulling an unknowing Style into dangerous undercover police informant work, did in fact drug Bison at one point, so yeah not on my nice list at all. I do think he had feelings for Bison at the beginning, but they weren't significant enough for him to stop what he was doing. He ends up redeeming himself a bit at the end. He tried to get the Captain to let him off the hook for this mission to no avail, and you know with the whole u kidnapped me and beat me up bc I betrayed u but I still waited for u to come get me at this abandoned house u left me at for hours so I could confess my love for u bit, but still. Very up and down feelings for him as a reader.

The bdsm was actually interesting to read here too. Sane (kinda), safe (sometimes) and consensual was really the name of the game here and I'm grateful for that. Were things a little under negotiated? Yeah, but I'm willing to look past that considering what s&m dynamics look like in other series and novels 😬 There was also a brief description of subspace that I found kind of nice. It was interesting to see these aspects of sexual dominance and submission present in a novel from a genre that often foregoes diving even an inch into safe kink (and sex) practices.

Also that masturbation scene is NOT in the novel from what I recall, so THANK YOU JOONG AND JOJO !!!!!

Crazy, but expected plot twist, and yet I was still at the edge of my seat. Granted I am easy to entertain, but I really enjoyed reading this. I actually would recommend this novel to others. It was just fun 😽

[winn-schott-throughtheheart]

I am a truther of Winn with disabilities like hearing loss, POTS (reflecting onto him from myself hehe), chronic pain, uses mobility aids n stuff, stuff like that!!! Do u have any headcannons like that? :33

for continuity's sake i won't be including specifically autistic headcanons in here even though it is a disability, just cause I already answered an ask about autistic headcanons :33

(also I realised I misread the original ask so it took me a hot minute lmfao)

POTS:

• i think I put in the post this ask was about about him leaning on the solid mass of kara or mon whenever he feels faint or dizzy and just. yeah that's good stuff. monwinnara my beloveds

• he Will steal salt packets whenever he can. they're fucking everywhere. if you put your hand into any one of his pockets in any item of clothing, there will be a salt packet.

• which also works in warding kara off eating his food, and also anyone else in the break room

• he Will fall if he stands up too fast.

• Floor Time is a must. when he gets home it's Floor Time.

wheelchair/mobility aids:

• The way I imagine this one is the explosion at the funeral in 3x14 injuring his back. maybe it doesn't paralyse him fully, but he spends a lot of time in a lot of pain and it takes a long time for him to get around on his own.

• he uses crutches on good days, but can walk short distances without them, he's just a little wobbly because his legs are weaker

• he's just overcome with fresh hatred for his father, because he's spent literally his whole life doing things on his own and refusing help, and now he's constantly relying on other people just to move around, and he hates it.

• "do you know how pathetic this makes me feel?"

• it takes a long time for him to get used to it, but the anger he feels towards his father never really goes away.

• under no circumstances is anyone allowed to push him. at all. he needs to maintain some kind of control and independence

• James is awful at acknowledging this

• as he gets more used to it the more comfortable he gets using his wheelchair. he decorates it with stickers

• he mostly uses his crutches at home, since the distances are shorter and it's bulky and frustrating having to maneuver a wheelchair in his apartment

• he hides it well, but he's always in some kind of pain. it's worse when he pushes himself, even though he won't admit it, because winn schott is a stubborn bastard.

• it also very much impacts his autism- he's a lot more aware of everything now that he has to be so aware of his body, and he gets overstimulated (and melts down) a lot more easily as a result of that.

• maybe he has a cool cane too- it takes him a while to get round to using it, because it's a lot more obvious he's chronically disabled using a cane than using crutches

• a part of him hates all of it because he doesn't like drawing attention to himself especially in public (he will around the people he trusts, when he feels safe)

hearing loss:

• in my mind this might go hand in hand with the wheelchair one, the explosion at the funeral damaging his hearing

• maybe it takes him a while to notice. as an autistic person, I personally have SUCH a hard time recognising patterns in real time- stuff like taking medicine making me feel better, specific things causing allergic reactions, etc etc, so it might be similar for winn. takes him a while to notice that, no, this is wrong

• if it's enough for him to need hearing aids, once he's used to it, he'll just take them out whenever he needs a bit of peace and quiet like when he's working

• and then he'll get in the zone and won't notice people trying to get his attention, which makes him a hell of a lot more jumpy

service dog! :

• autism service dog? maybe pots? some kind of fainting spell service puppy? ptsd?

• kara is utterly enamoured immediately. it takes SO much of her energy not to distract the dog.

• mon-el had to have a very stern talking to about how to act around the dog because he'd never met a service dog before

• he was very understanding but it took a while before he felt comfortable petting her or anything when she was off duty just in case he hurt winn by distracting her

• man I want to come up with a cute name and everything.

• im gonna go with mable mable is cute

• with the amount of times the deo gets attacked on the regular, it does make winns anxiety spike at the thought of bringing her to work

• they manage to train her to run to a specific place when the alarms go off so it's easy to find her- this actually took a while because she was very reluctant to leave winns side in an emergency

• im imagining cat not being all that happy about having to have a dog in the office lol. of course she allows it without question, but she is pleasantly surprised/relieved at how she will just stay put and sleep under winns desk unless she's alerted to something

• i SO need to draw this

• it took a while for his cat to acclimatise to the dog. winn felt bad so he made sure to pay extra attention to him to make sure he didn't feel left out

Fibromyalgia/chronic pain:

recently learned that this can be caused by significant mental trauma, so thought it'd be interesting to explore for whump reasons

• like the hearing loss one, it takes him a long time to notice something is wrong

• maybe it starts to manifest after the events of 1x10- I mean the guy was kidnapped, drugged and bound by the person he despises most in the world, and then forced to almost kill someone, I would count that as significant mental trauma

• he thinks he's just tired and sore because he's overworking himself. he's struggling to sleep and the nightmares get worse because of it, making him reluctant to even try

• particularly because it hurts most in his neck, back and hips, he thinks it's because he's spent too long slouching over a screen

• he starts declining invitations to go out on the weekends because he just needs to rest and recover, literally just lying in bed or the couch for days. it's like this for months before he realises this is probably not normal

• the fatigue and the brain fog start impacting his work and the first time cat sends him home because of it is the wake up call

• eventually he learns to hide it, because it just isn't going away no matter what he does, so he's gonna have to learn to live with it

• when he moves to the deo and starts spending more time around j'onn, there's something that's about winns mental/physical signature that j'onn notices is different from every other agent

• it takes him a while to realise that it's pain, winn is just in pain all the time, and had he not been psychic he literally wouldn't have known, because winn just buckles down and gets on with the tasks he's assigned, usually going above and beyond, without so much as a sigh

• not that he was hard on him before, but j'onn goes easier on him after he realises this. when he notices winn rubbing/massaging his neck or trying to stretch his back more often than usual, he'll make up a task for him to go do that lets him relax for a little while

• sometimes he stops by and does some dishes or some laundry when winn physically can't bring himself to get out of bed and there's stuff that needs doing, which he is infinitely thankful for. winn schott x healthy father figure my BELOVED

anyway ill stop here for now, but please let me know if you want some more/specific conditions to project onto him ! i want to draw winn and mabel like as soon as humanly possible oh my god. also I feel I should clarify just in case this isn't meant to romanticise or sexualise or villainise disabilities!! this is only meant to explore different conditions using my fav blorbo as the test subject <3

[analogwriting]

Star-Crossed

Prologue: Zemra

Corazon x gn!reader word count: 3.2k a/n: I'M BACK BITCHES. here's the mafia au i've been dying to do. hopefully y'all like it lmfao. also, i think i'm just going to keep text normal size this time around.

“You can’t keep running forever, y/n.” A voice rang through the empty warehouse, making you grimace.

You were currently crouched behind a crate, holding your arm with one hand; gun in the other. A bullet went clean through your arm. It stung like hell, but you didn’t exactly have time to stitch it up right now. Quickly, you ripped off your sleeve, tying it around your bicep to at least try to slow down the bleeding. You were lightheaded, but you couldn’t let yourself pass out. 

You’d already taken down two guys. How many were left? You weren’t sure. There was only one voice but the other’s could be keeping quiet for all you knew. Your eyes closed and you took a deep breath to calm yourself down so you could listen. One set of footsteps. One person breathing. Good. Just one left. Now…where was he?

Bingo.

You took a deep breath, opening your eyes. “You’ll bleed out at this rate. Just give in.” Man, did this guy ever shut up? His voice was like nails on a chalkboard to you. You moved, twisting out from behind the crate and aiming your gun. “If I’m going down, I’m not going down alone,” you said, firing your gun and landing a shot right in between his eyes. At least if you did end up bleeding out, so would three of their men.

The man dropped and you let out a long sigh that you hadn’t realized you had been holding. You leaned against the crate, closing your eyes. How the hell did you get in this situation again? Right. Your father sent you here to try and negotiate with the Donquixote family. Turns out it was just an ambush and three men had jumped you. They were pretty low level men, but an ambush nonetheless. You were almost slightly offended they’d send such weak people, but you were also glad. You tried to tell your father it was a dumb idea, but he didn’t listen.

Fuck, you didn’t even want to be here. You didn’t want to fucking do this anymore. You just wanted to focus on your studies and become a doctor. You were tired of death and destruction. You wanted to help people. You hated every bit of this, but your father was the head of your family and you didn’t want to disappoint him. You felt like you had no choice. He never said anything like that, it was just something you told yourself. You loved your father and just wanted to make him proud.

You’d thought about leaving several times before. Something told you that your father would probably let you. He wasn’t an awful man and he knew this life wasn’t for everyone, however you were his only heir. A fortune you didn’t fucking want, but you felt like you had to do it.

You closed your eyes once more, taking a deep breath before heading out of the warehouse. You needed to head back. This was a bust and your father was going to be pissed. After all, his only child was injured because of his own decision. He truly held too much trust in people - even if they were his rivals.

The Donquixote family was your father’s number one rival as he was theirs. There were other mafia families around, yes, but your two families were the strongest and most influential. As well as had the most territory. It was only natural for you to rival one another. You also didn’t typically go on runs like this. Since you were your father’s child, you were usually well protected and out of harm’s way to ensure the safety of an heir or whatever the fuck have you. Your father was trying to get rid of the bad blood and reach some kind of truce. He was never one to really be involved in turf wars. He just wanted to be left alone to do his thing but the Donquixote family made that difficult. 

You were his olive branch and they had tried to metaphorically snap you in two. Physically? They just tried to riddle you with bullets. You weren’t doing this shit again though. This was the one and only time. Your father wouldn’t put you in a situation like that again, not that you’d ever agree either.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you headed out of the warehouse and down an alley. You were worse for wear - you just needed to make it to your own hideout, then you could take care of yourself. Everything would be fine.

Just as you were turning a corner, you ran smack dab into someone, sending them toppling backwards. You stumbled as they crashed to the ground. “Oh shit, I’m sorry I-” You froze as you looked at who was before you, eyes widening.

Donquixote Rosinante. 

You pulled out your gun, pointing it at him and backing away from him. Your arm was long forgotten at this point as your adrenaline picked back up. What the hell was he doing here? The last you heard, he was missing. How was he here? Were those rumors a lie? Was your information false? So many questions swam through your mind as your anxiety rose. Was he part of the ambush?

He finally gathers himself, locking eyes with you as he sees you; moreso the gun you were pointing at him. You’re glad that you were wearing a face covering that masked half your face. There was no way he could be able to tell who you were. 

He doesn’t look scared that you’re pointing a gun at him as expected of someone in a family like yours, but he slowly lifts his hands in surrender. “I don’t know who you are, but I don’t want to fight.” He spoke slowly, watching you like a hawk. His eyes glanced to the injury on your arm.

You narrowed your eyes at him, grimacing. “And how do I know that? How do I know you weren’t about to ambush me like your buddies did?” 

Confusion consumed his features as he looked back at your eyes.. “Ambush? Buddies? I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me. Why the hell else would you be lurking around in an alley?”

He looked at you for a long moment, but still didn’t try to make any sudden movements. “Well, it seems you know who I am, so I suppose you also know that I’ve been missing? I’m in hiding. I don’t want any trouble.” 

“How do I know you’re not bluffing?”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t be on the ground before you if this was planned would I?”

You opened your mouth to respond when a small voice spoke out. “C-Corazon? Is it safe to come out now?” You went rigid as you heard a child’s voice. Panic rose in Rosinante’s eyes as the voice rang through the alleyway. He looked at you, silently pleading. Is this why he had went missing? He had a kid? Well, if he had the kid, he’d probably call him ‘dad’ not ‘Corazon.’ What was going on? 

Immediately, you uncocked your gun and hid it away. You weren’t about to let a child witness any kind of violence. The man before you looked surprised by your actions, but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t uncommon for some families to indoctrinate children at a young age to be a part of the ‘family business’. You were a prime example of that. For as long as you can remember, you were taught the ways of the family. That didn’t mean you thought it was right.

“N-Not quite, kiddo. Just wait a bit longer, I’m still checking.” Not once did he take his eyes off of you, wary of your presence; even without the gun. You didn’t blame him, you weren’t exactly on the same side and you had just pointed a gun at him. As far as he knew, you were enemies and you could pounce at any moment.

“I’m surprised you’re not trying to hold the kid against me,” he said to you tartly. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, scoffing. “I’m not a monster. Kids don’t need to see the ugly side of things.” Your voice softened slightly without really realizing it. Rosinante’s face seemed to mirror yours as it softened as well. 

“At least we agree on something.”

You stuck out your hand and he flinched, making you roll your eyes.“I’m trying to help you, moron.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re no longer in this life, why would I hold your past against you? At least one of us got out.”

Rosinante looked at you for a long moment before tentatively reaching out, taking your hand. You helped him up, the man quickly towering over you. Fuck, you heard that some of them were fucking tall, but it was different being next to someone of such stature. He looked like he wanted to ask you something before the two of you were interrupted.

Coughing rang through the alleyway causing the man before you to go into a small panic as he took off. “Kid! I told you to stay inside!”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is he sick?” you asked, following the other.

“What does it matter to you?”

“I can help. I’m a doctor,” you said with resolve in your voice.. Well, you were technically still in school, but you were his best bet in this situation. You weren’t about to let a small child die on your watch. He stopped, looking at you for a long moment. The coughing started up again along with the child weakly calling his name causing him to run over at a faster pace. 

You felt your body move before you could process what was going on. Rosinante went down but you caught him right before he smacked his face on the pavement. “Careful. You can’t help him if you’re down for the count,” you lightly scolded. He just looked at you, shocked that you caught him. You helped him up once more and he stopped in front of one of the alleyway entrances.

You gasped at the sight. The child looked so small and frail - it was clear that he was very sick. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he was older than he looked. “What are his symptoms?” Rosinante quickly knelt down, catching the small boy as he fell from his coughing fit. You saw the bright red contrasting with his pale lips.

“We need to get him to the hospital. We can go to the one I work at I-”

“No, no hospitals. No one can figure it out anyway. I’ve taken him to every doctor in the region. I also don’t want anyone looking into us too much.” A deep frown set on the man’s features and you shook your head.

“You didn’t bring him to me.” You looked at him with determination in your eyes. “I will find out what’s wrong with him and I will help him.” Rosinante blinked as he looked at you. “Why?”

You shook your head. “I’m not going to let an innocent child die. It’s against my whole oath as a doctor.” The child coughed again, whining softly in pain. He looked from the child in his arms back to you before nodding. “Please help him.” The desperation in his voice hurt your heart, but you nodded back. “Let’s go.”

--

Once at the hospital, you were able to immediately check them into a room. The hospital you were currently at wasn’t the busiest hospital and it was currently slower hours anyway. Not to mention it also wasn’t flu season, so you didn’t have to worry about that either. It was a run down close to a shack kind of place.

It also helped that you were somewhat of a star pupil - you could do just about anything you wanted and no one would bat an eye. 

After settling down in a room, you looked at Rosinante. “I’m going to need to run several tests. I’m going to have you wait in the waiting room.” Panic rose in his eyes and he was about to protest when you held up your hand. “If I wanted to kill him or use him against you, I would’ve done it already. I would never hurt a child, know that if nothing else about me. Also, I don’t need a hovering parent. It drives me fucking insane.” You rolled your eyes at the last part. Nothing annoyed you more than helicopter parents. You were the doctor, not them.

He seemed to mull over your words before finally resigning. 

Now you could do what you needed.

--

You gathered all the samples you needed and began to run tests. While you waited for results, you let Rosinante back into the room to sit with the patient. You never asked his name, planning on erasing all evidence that they were here to begin with. You didn’t need anyone coming around and snooping. The cameras around here were broken anyway; that worked in your favor.

As the results slowly came back, trying to figure out what was wrong with the child accompanying Rosinante was like an impossible puzzle. He would have symptoms of some things and when you thought you had your answer, another test result would prove you wrong. You were pouring over different case studies of less known illnesses. It was something you did in your pastime anyway. 

Then you finally connected enough dots for a diagnosis. One result you had in reminded you of a case you had read not too long ago. It was a specific disease that attacked small children and could be deadly if not caught in time. There were only about a dozen or so cases pertaining to it too. You could only hope that it wasn’t too late.

“Can I talk to you in the hallway?” You looked at the tall man who hadn’t really left the small child’s side. He looked between you and him before nodding. He joined you in the hallway.

“I have some news.” 

The blond’s face fell. “You couldn’t figure it out, could you?” He sighed. “It’s fine. I expected as such-”

“Pessimistic much?” You let out a small laugh and he looked at you, startled. He didn’t even let you so much as say a word before he started talking hopelessly. Though, you didn’t blame him. If he went so many places and they couldn’t figure it out, how could he have hope?

“Does that mean?” His eyes widened, hope shining through. You smiled at him, nodding. “I pulled two all nighters, but I figured it out.”

He scooped you up in his arms and spun you around. Your face immediately heated, starting to feel dizzy. “Oh this is wonderful! Thank you so much!” 

“O-Okay, please put me down!” You felt sick being spun in circles like that. “Oh right. I apologize.” He set you down, beaming at you. “I can’t believe it. I had lost all hope. We traveled to all kinds of hospitals near and far. No one could figure it out. How did you do it?”

You shrugged. “My specialty is knowing too much about cases that have small numbers. You never know when you might need to know it.” You looked at him. “Seems my weird hobby came in handy, huh? Now, let’s talk treatment plan.”

--

Back in the room, you started administering the right, and very specific, medications, a certain diet while he was on said medication, and having Rosinante do certain exercises with him as well. Though, the tall man was clumsier than anyone you had ever met in your life. You ended up having to make sure you moved them to the small gym whenever they did the exercises because he kept running into everything. Sure, this hospital might have been run down, but you weren’t about to let him make it even worse.

It wasn’t long before there was improvement in his behavior. Color was returning to his face, he was coughing less and less, he seemed to have more of an appetite. And before you knew it, he was just fine. 

You never once asked for the child’s name in the month you worked with them, knowing Rosinante wanted to keep this all under wraps. He wanted to be able to get out of here cleanly and you didn’t blame him.

Today, you were looking over his charts in the desolate hallway and the man peeked his head out of the room. You looked up at him, blinking. “Can I help you?” He slipped out, closing the door. “I just…want to thank you again.” 

“You really don’t have to-”

“But I want to. You’ve done nothing but help me despite how we met. You’ve done so much for us without asking for anything in return. Even going as far as letting us get out of here without a trace.” 

“You’re out of that messy lifestyle and I’m determined to help you with that. If I can’t get out, at least someone else can.” You made a face, shaking your head. If you couldn’t get out of this, you wanted to make sure someone else did. A small idea sparked in the back of your brain, but Rosinante quickly drew your attention from it.

“Before we go, am I allowed to know the name of our savior?” 

The entire time you were working with him this past month, you never once gave him your name. You also kept your face hidden behind a facemask and hair in a bonnet. You just didn’t want to risk it. Your colleagues also steered clear as you pretty much threatened them all. You told them not to answer any questions about you either. At least no personal information. You didn’t want him to know who you were, not that you were even sure he would if you showed yourself. 

Though, if he knew your name, he’d definitely know who you were. 

“I think it’s best if you didn’t.” You shook your head. “It’s easier that way.”

“Fair enough.” He let out a long sigh, looking through the window and to the boy who was currently sleeping on the bed. 

“You’re good to leave as soon as he wakes up if you want. We’re done with his treatment and he seems to be stable.” You paused. “I have one request.”

Rosinante nodded eagerly. “Anything.”

You shot him a look that read that you weren’t messing around. “Keep him out of that lifestyle.”

He blinked at your words before nodding. He smiled. “Of course. That’s the plan.”

You smiled through your mask, nodding back. “Good.”

He looked at you for a long moment before looking at your arm. “How’s it healing?” he asked.

You blinked, looking from him to your arm. You shrugged. “As good as a bullet wound can be, I guess.”

“Was that from the ambush you mentioned when we first met?” You nodded with a sigh.

“Who was it with? My family I assume? Why?”

You just looked at him, shaking your head. That was too much information still. He pursed his lips together, nodding. “Gotcha. Well, I’m glad you’re better. Thank you again for everything you’ve done for the both of us. I mean it.”

With that, he headed back inside.

[altschmerzes]

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

OH GOSH YEAH THERE IS it's called 'without grace, without understanding' (thanks wrinkle in time) and it's a reimagining of the training arc with roy and jamie in season 3

this got a little long so it is..... under a cut lsdfkjs.

update: 'a little long' this is basically a fic in itself lmfao WHOOPSIES. i guess i may as well actually tag it, enjoy... whatever this is.

started off with me thinking about the myriad of ways that could've been a fascinating plot to use to explore those two characters' trajectories and their relationship to themselves and each other and this sport. roy's lack of trust in himself and his conviction that he ruins things.

and it's like... thinking about how roy's approach is uh. a bit much sometimes and jamie particularly doesn't necessarily react super well to that and has a tendency to take things the wrong way even when they are well delivered, and thinking about roy's concerns this season about his coaching skills. that he's REALLY worried about being a good coach. and the stuff in season 2, where he was worried he was Ruining Phoebe somehow, just.

and there's the jamie of it all. him trying to hard to be better, to do better, not sure how to make it work. how to make it happen. how to be as good as zava, be better than zava. still trying to deserve the second chance he's been given. still a brat a lot of the time bc he is who he is but also trying so hard to be good. be cooperative. be a team player. Work Hard Enough.

so you get into the actual training of it, right. they're working together one on one, and roy is pushing him. hard. and i looked at that and went. okay this is supposed to be humorous but also what if we took it seriously. what if roy pushed him TOO hard and jamie just let him because he’d do basically whatever roy told him to and thinks he’s supposed to shut up and not whine and Be Good. and this somehow ends up pushing jamie so hard he’s just completely exhausted or hurt somehow and roy is absolutely horrified by this. and is like NOPE i cant do this i shouldn’t be doing this and doesn’t really communicate to jamie why he’s calling it off. he just does it. so jamie thinks he’s done something wrong and roy thinks he’s protecting jamie by (freaking out and) walking away and it’s a MESS they gotta sort out.

somewhere in there there's a thing with roy and the coaches or the diamond dogs as a whole, right. after he's walked away from training jamie one on one and their relationship is extremely strained bc roy is spiralling beyond proportion like Oh Fuck, Oh Gd, I Was Ruining Him, I Was Hurting Him and jamie is like He's Done With Me He Don't Want Fuck-All To Do With Me. so things are... weird. they're not really talking. they're both upset and hating it. but roy sort of. he doesn't stop coaching jamie again at all, but he does sort of. he pulls back. he goes stiff and distant and doesn't engage. he doesn't ice him out like in s2 but he's not. there. either.

and so they're talking and he's like. (in his mind the training is like. paused. they're Taking A Break.) but he's like. i need to talk to you about jamie. and the others are like... yeah, sure seems like it! and roy just admits. i don’t know how to train him. what i know how to do isn’t working. what worked on me isn’t working (ted/beard/someone voice maybe it perhaps Didn’t Work On You in a good way, but-) so What Do I Do.

which gives ted the opportunity to pay it forward with some advice and just - positive reinforcement. maybe try approaching this differently. he’s destroying himself trying to make you happy, make you proud, do good in your eyes. he idolizes you, not sure how AWARE of that you are, but he does. still. maybe try using that - tell him what he’s doing right.

(and that's the fuck of it all right is like. there's this part of roy that's been wondering if he's a bad coach for the opposite reason, too. he's been wondering if he's been too soft on jamie, and maybe that was the problem. it was something that was gnawing at him, before jamie worked himself sick/hurt and he realized his approach was massively backfiring, that like... maybe he was a bad coach because he couldn't be harsh enough. but he couldn't just. he couldn't stomach being like the coaches he'd had, he just couldn't do it. and then that happened, and obviously that wasn't it, but it was in there somewhere)

but so he talks a bit about that there, like, it comes up somehow - the coaches he had when he was young. when he was a kid and when he was coming up. he talks about how he was trained and they’re like right okay sure and how do you feel about those coaches now? how did they make you feel about yourself? is that how you want jamie to feel about you? is that how you want to know he feels when you talk to him?

he doesn't. he doesn't want jamie to feel like that about him, to feel like that when looking at him. because roy respected those coaches and wanted them to be impressed with him but he was afraid of them too. and he never thought for a minute that he ever lived up to their expectations. and fuck, gd, he never, ever wants that for jamie.

and that's the point ted and beard and company sort of gently make to him too like.

and so it's like. he trusts you. he looks up to you. he'd do anything you asked him to. that's good, that helps, but it means you gotta be careful too, y'know?

so he has to figure out a new approach. and it's like. roy doesn't need a personality transplant, don't get me wrong. he's never gonna be ted and he doesn't need to be. that's not the goal here. it's about figuring out how to be tough without being mean, right? and maybe a little about figuring out how to let himself soften.

(especially since half the time it’s his own younger self he’s hollering at imo. and so treating jamie better sort of asks him to realize he should’ve been treated better too. Be Kinder To Him And In Doing So Give Your Own 24 Year Old Self Some Gentleness And Grace.)

so roy offers to resume training with him after some other stuff happens etc, this is the part i have less thought through lmao.

(there's a subplot also with isaac and captain stuff and figuring out there's something up with jamie and not knowing what and trying to piece it together. love that too.)

and there's a scene in the end, right, where we get this whole... they've sorted things out, they're resuming training again, roy has extracted a promise from jamie to Speak The Fuck Up if things aren't going well, and he's promised to be less of a hardass generally, and then there's a bit where he like. apologizes for ever having been that hard on jamie in the first place and not thinking about whether that was the right approach.

and jamie just... he shrugs. he's not affected by this. "gotta make sure i don’t go soft, yeah?" and roy is like. no. absolutely not. stop right there.

which is when roy then makes the very specific point that like. when they talk about jamie’s performance on the pitch and how he should approach it sometimes he needs to be a prick, and he needs to worry about being permissive or passive or whatever else, but even if they have to bust out a thesaurus they will not be referring to him as soft. we will not be using that language here. do you understand me?

which... jamie. doesn't, really. he's like ??? and tries to brush it off at first like pshh that’s just the same thing “don’t want to be noncommittal or passive on the pitch ain’t that just the same thing as soft just more letters” and roy is like no. no it’s not. there’s implications in- in calling someone soft that there ain’t in there, and even if it is, so what. that’s a word that’s been used to hurt you. right? and jamie’s just kinda sullenly silent and roy goes right. which is why im not fucking using it. that’s the fucking point im trying to make here. if i can help it im not gonna fucking hurt you because i really don’t want to.

which y'know. is a lot. it's a lot for both of them. but they figure it out.

i’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while tbh but keep being like no that’s excessive- that’s dramatic- whatever this arc is gonna turn into it doesn’t NEED to turn into an angsty character/dynamic study- but honestly who cares. why not have fun with it. why not get into some of the vast unexplored potential here. maybe one day i will.