#living in a state of delulu

[apseudofan]

Me, ten years later: he’s not dead, he’s just in the speed force or something!!!

[the-clone-father]

Ok so I get it tech didn’t come back

But

CONSIDER

We go to Lothol, we open the door to the world between worlds, and we go get our man ourselves?

I will die on this hill and you can’t stop me

[puckspoetry]

I have a confession (?)

I’ve never actually watched the final episode of House because I love delusion. If I don’t watch it, it can end however I want…

I don’t have any plans on watching it 🤭🎀

[missygoesmeow]

what if Raphael pretended to be a fancy lord and Tav was unwittlingly indebted off to him. what then. huh??

[likesunsetorange]

jjk friends…. how are we feeling that gege announced there’s only five more chapters…….. is this really our jujutsu kaisen…..

[thetrikeywarp]

i miss home so much i hate rich people

[sammydem0n64]

I’m being cursed by Talen thoughts. If only bc. Damn imagine being a teenage boy who, like most hormonal teens, CRAVES intimacy (this is my way of saying horny without being murdered for saying a 17 year old experiences sexual attraction.) and that’s largely your gimmick; that you want a girlfriend and it just so happens the girls you like are Not Very Good People. Yeah and then turns out your dad decides to try and kill you instead of selling you out to the gangs he’s in debt to?

[honeytonedhottie]

HOW I MANIFESTED MY DESIRED APPEARANCE (success story)⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎐

so manifesting my desired appearance in full took roughly 2 weeks, also this post is pretty long bcuz im not gatekeeping anything, im giving u guys the full story, the full scoop on how i did it so here we go...

some things that i remember doing was, before going to bed i'd either read what my desired appearance looks like (i wrote a list bcuz me as a person, i LOVE writing things down) and i'd read that list before bed like it was fact.

or if i didn't have the list with me, when i was the state akin to sleep i'd talk to myself (ik it sounds weird but its natural for me so it worked) and i'd be like "ik for a fact that i am (fill in the blank)" or "ik for a fact that i have (fill in the blank)"

and i'd just say it to myself, or sometimes when i'd shower, for every part of my body that i'd wash (i separated it into sections) and for each section i'd talk about an aspect of my appearance as though it was from someone else's POV. for example, part of my desired appearance was a difference in hair texture so i'd say "omg honey's hair is SO long and glossy". like i'd talk thru someone else's pov ABOUT my appearance in either a tone of admiration, envy, or indifference.

even if i didn't see movement a couple times or got discouraged, i went back to what feels RIGHT and thats affirming for me.

some key statements i used :

i know for a fact

i have my exact desired appearance bcuz im god and i said so

another thing that rly helped me was visualization, i was living PURELY in my imagination, completely in my head. i was REAL delulu. i have a vision board on pinterest that was SO helpful for me.

when i saw things in the 3d that didn't please me i completely disregarded it, and when i tell u COMPLETELY, i completely dismissed anything that i didn't like, or that didn't sit right with me.

another little exercise that i liked to do was actually bcuz of a bad habit. so i have a RLY bad habit of checking the 3d but i used it to my advantage. my habit was that every morning the first thing i'd do is go and look in the mirror. when i manifested my desired appearance what i'd do, is i would go to the bathroom mirror and tell my subconscious what i see. so my logic behind this was that since the subconscious didn't have any eyes i could tell my subconscious that i had the head of a unicorn and it'd believe me 💀. so i would talk to my subconscious and tell it what i saw. "i see an angel skull" "i see rly rly long lashes" "i see waist-length hair" etc etc.

i went to the end and i BASKED in it. moral of this manifestation story :

persist regardless of what u experience with ur 5 senses

time is an illusion so forget about it

dont settle for less than what u seek

go straight to the end and bathe in it bcuz u can't try and be something that u already are 

failure doesn't exist

apply

[hrtbeomi]

WHEN THEIR S/O IS ON HER PERIOD ⟳ ۪ ׂ 𓈒 ʾʾ

a/n. old repost from my old acc (ihrtrep) .ᐟ btw, i'm on my period too so i'm at a delulu state rewriting this 🙈

wc. 0.4k warnings. mention of menstruation (obv), cramps, period jokes that aren't funny, not proofread .ᐟ

𖤐 CHOI YEONJUN

i think yeonjun would be the type of boyfriend that would try to help you in any way he can, he would do a care package with everything you might need, would try to cook something for you, and then would lay next to you and cuddle while watching a movie or a series. if you have low self-esteem because of the period he would absolutely say loving and comforting words to you.

“you are the most beautiful woman i've ever seen and i'll kick your period's ass if it lets you feel like this again, okay?”

“i'm going to cry because of you, jjunie!”

“well, you deserve all the love and care, especially now,” he said before kissing your cheek and cuddle with you.

i just love him <33

𖤐 CHOI SOOBIN

when i tell you this man would try and say shit like he's a teacher of 6th graders explaining why menstruation is something important in a woman's life and is nothing to be ashamed of, I MEAN IT.ᐟ he doesn't care if you've already known this for a long long time, he will tell you again in case you forgot.

but even with his "wise words", he'll try to be there for you if you need anything but in reality he's scared shitless that you might snap at him and make him cry with your «mean menstruation words» as he names it.

𖤐 CHOI BEOMGYU

beomgyu would freak out and would try to call one of the members for help, he obviously called taehyun (the most logical one) and he just told him to give you some chocolate or something warm to put in your uterus in case it hurts because of the cramps. beomgyu was super confused as to why he knew all of this and he, who did have a girlfriend, didn't but he did all that tae said at the end and you were so thankful for that.

we know he has a playful manner so if you're in a bad mood, he would try to make you laugh with bad period jokes instead of laughing at your pain.

“what kind of bikes do girls ride?”

“what?”

“menstrual cycles”

𖤐 KANG TAEHYUN

the most smart one, he knows what to do and knows he shouldn't even say you are on your period unless he wants to die. he would cook your favorite meal, would buy you heat patches for your cramps, and would be pretty attentive to you, utterly the best boyfriend you could ever ask for <3

bonus .ᐟ has a calendar app for your cycle and to make sure to buy pads, tampons, menstrual cup (wtvr you use).

𖤐 HUENING KAI

PHYSICAL TOUCH !! he would love to just lay down with you and rub your belly to ease your cramps, would be the type of boyfriend who has such a connection with you that would live your period as if he has it too, i feel like hyuka would be that kind of boyfriend who does a pajama day and stays in bed til' the night with you, watching movies and muting his phone to stay focused on you and only you.

if you have cravings at like— 3:00am and you don't have that one thing you want in your house, he would go out to the nearest convenience store and buy it ><

© HRTBEOMI 2024

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part two.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, and 17,349 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername from a little boy meeting his heroes to a young man racing alongside them, getting to see all you’ve accomplished throughout the years makes me the proudest sister in the world. 2024 better watch its back, because sargeants always come back swinging.

view all 2,863 comments

logansargeant we pack a mean punch too 👊

↳ yourusername the meanest 👊

user wait no cuz this is actually so cute omg??? i want a sister to make cute posts about me

user definitely can’t wait to see more y/n at the races in 2024

williamsracing It was lovely having you in the paddock this season Y/N! We’re already looking forward to seeing what 2024 has in store!

↳ yourusername it was a genuine honor to be there! plus i look great in blue 😉💙

↳ user wait does this mean logan is re-signing??

alex_albon me and lily would love to have you both come round during the break if schedules align! 

↳ yourusername awwww alex!! speaking on behalf of logan, we’d love to!!

user i’m living vicariously through the sibling bond that the sargeant twins have

INSTAGRAM.

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 426,972

tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren Some of our favourite meme-worthy images of Oscar from 2023! Which is your fav?

view all 2,632 comments

oscarpiastri guys…

user mclaren admin knows what the people want

↳ user mclaren admin feeding us well on this fine day

user these are actually so funny omg mans ain’t got no face filter

landonorris yea so this won’t be necessary for me pls and thx

↳ mclaren We already have the pictures ready! 👍

user i’ve made all of these faces at my tv this year

yourusername oh to be a rubber ducky in oscar piastri’s ice bath

↳ user OH? MY?? GOD???

↳ user UMMMM

↳ user real

INSTAGRAM.

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 835,781 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

landonorris papaya pals! looking forward to another season with you mate

view all 6,264 comments

user going into cardiac arrest

user damn oscar looking caked up

↳ user i’m glad i wasn’t the only one thinking it

oscarpiastri of all the pictures

↳ landonorris i giveth thy people what they want

↳ yourusername and we thank you for it sir lando 🫡

user MANIFESTING MORE PODIUMS FOR 2024

mclaren Looking forward to another year, boys! 🧡

danielricciardo you’re only posting these to show off your ass

↳ landonorris and if i am?

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 11,263 others

yourusername i can still recall our last summer 

view all 926 comments

logansargeant it’s december 1st???

↳ yourusername it’s summer somewhere

user i wish i lived in florida

user MAMMA MIA REFERENCE

oscarpiastri ☀️

↳ yourusername 🌊

user i’m so delulu about what this could mean

↳ user it’s probably just an aesthetic caption?? y’all are fr crazy

↳ user no cuz it’s literally winter rn in the states so why would she post about summer?

↳ user bc she lives in florida?? where the weather is like summer all the time??

You lower your phone and look back to the dark waters crashing against the shore. Logan’s time in Formula 1 has meant you’ve been traveling around the world, getting to experience so much more than you’d ever imagined you would in your lifetime, but nothing compares to the familiarity and comfort of Florida— of home.

And your friends.

“So,” Sophia bumps her shoulder against yours, eyes alight with mischief when you turn to meet her expectant gaze. “Come on,” she teases, “tell me about him.”

You’ve been friends with her for a few years now, ever since moving back to the United States. She was born and partially raised in Belgium, so after spending so long in Europe, she’s the only one who understood the minor culture shock of moving back. You both clicked, and you’ve been stuck together ever since. You’ve learned, however, that if there’s one constant about her, it’s without a doubt her need to gossip about anything and everything— but specifically boys.

You huff out a laugh, “There’s no ‘he’ to tell you about.”

She hums into her glass of wine, eyeing you skeptically.

“There isn’t!” You laugh, shoving her lightly.

She gasps and feigns falling back onto the blanket spread out beneath you. She’s dramatic, too, and that’s another reason you matched so well. She feels like the sister you never had, which makes moments like this feel even more special.

“This back and forth with a certain OP-eighty-one suggests otherwise,” she sing-songs back at you as she sits up, making kissing faces and cackling when you shove at her again.

“I’m not sure how you even know about that,” you grumble. “You don’t even use Instagram.”

“Maybe not, babes,” she casts her gaze out across the ocean, “but I have my sources. So come on, between us girls and us girls only, tell me what’s going on.”

You heave a sigh, gulp down the last mouthful of wine in your glass, and then pour yourself another while she waits. You’re not getting out of this, and part of you does really want to talk about things. On top of being your brother and therefore way more protective than he needs to be, Logan is also Oscar’s best friend and you’re not sure what “bro code” is exactly, but you imagine not dating your friend’s sister is part of it— so he’s out of the question. You’d go to Dalton if you were sure he wouldn’t tell Logan, but they’re loyal to each other and have some sort of unspoken pact when it comes to your love life. You joked once that instead of your dad, it’d be them waiting at the door with a shotgun if you ever brought a guy home, but you’re not sure it was a joke at all with how they act sometimes.

“It started in Bahrain,” you begin, rolling your eyes when she wiggles excitedly and turns her undivided attention to you. “I’ve known him for a while because he and Logan have driven together since they were young, so I messaged him after the race to say that it sucked he had to retire so early into it.”

“And?”

You shoot her a look. “And, we kept talking. One thing led to another and we met up for drinks…” You fiddle with the rim of your glass, glancing back out to the water. You can’t tell if the heat on your face is because you’re embarrassed, or from spending so much of your day under the Floridian sun. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” She asks incredulously.

“Well—” you purse your lips. “We kissed. Once. When he dropped me off at the hotel. But it was probably just the alcohol or something. I don’t think he wanted it to mean anything. I bet he just wanted to have fun but couldn’t because he had to leave early in the morning.”

She sends you a look. “He was sober enough to drive you back… but you think it was alcohol influencing his decisions? And he kissed you, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to ‘have fun?’ Right. Didn’t mean anything at all.”

You shake your head and huff. “He was upset because he’d had such high hopes for his first Grand Prix and it ended poorly, and I was there to comfort him, so maybe that’s why. He got caught up in the moment, or something.”

“Y/N, I love you. I do. You’re my best friend and you’re like a little sister to me,” she cups your face in her hands and turns you to look at her. “But you can be so dense sometimes, do you know that?”

“Then why hasn’t he brought it up?” You ask, your voice garbled slightly from the way her hands squish your cheeks together. “We saw each other again in Melbourne, to celebrate him getting his first points, and he didn’t say anything then. Or Miami, or England, or Japan.”

She gives you another look and lets your face go. “It’s a two-way street, babe. Why haven’t you brought it up?”

And… that’s a good point. You technically could’ve brought it up, too. You’d just been so afraid of how he would’ve reacted that you’d chosen to keep quiet, preferring uncertainty over rejection. It’s the same reason why you so rarely pursue the things you want. A fear of rejection stands in your way, and you realize suddenly that you could’ve ruined things with someone you genuinely like just because you were afraid.

“You know, like, Schrodinger’s cat," you start meekly. "If you don’t open the box, the cat is dead and alive, because you don’t know. So I never brought it up. Because not knowing is better than him telling me it was nothing.”

She reaches out and wraps her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, less accusatory, a murmur against the ambiance of the hissing tide— “But what if he tells you it’s something?”

You groan. “He probably thinks I’m not interested.”

“Y/N—”

“Oh God!” You pull away and bury your face into your hands. “I ruined it all!”

She pries your hands away and looks you in the eye. There’s a sparkle in her gaze, it’s the look she gets when she has a plan.

“You haven’t ruined it. We just have some work to do.”

━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis

━━ a/n: i am overwhelmed by the amount of love on the first part of this! genuinely did not anticipate it at all, and i'm so thankful. so here's the second part! i hope it does justice to the first!

[vxn3lla]

Masterlist🍒💋

Law of Assumption

Reality is Yours

Ignore the 3d

Some things aren't necessary

EIYPO

Self Concept and Living in the End

Challenge Step One

Challenge Step Two

Challenge Step Three

Challenge Step Four

Challenge Step Five

Do it Yourself

Manifesting through "Lack"

Imagination

Your one affirmation

Get it Right

On doubts, "lying to yourself", and electronics

Why being "delulu" isn't the "solulu"

Law of Assumption ALWAYS works

Limiting Beliefs Rant

Giving things outside of you power-my take on the lions gate portal

Letting go vs Focusing

There is no right or wrong way to manifest

Taking action and why it can be a good thing (after all the other steps)

Techniques

0.0035%

Notion Template for manifesting

Void State

Some things on necessary (void state reblog)

I am vs void state

Putting the void state on a pedestal

Your are the void state

Success Stories

adambja tapes

nyc trip

Your one affirmation successes

more success stories

Affirmations and Vaunts and Subs

Self concept/dream life affs

Void state vaunt

Giant subliminal

Subliminal requests

nothing left to manifest ryuu

ryuu bundle

Sub and guide request

"About Me" (just posts related to me/"daily" blog)

Celebrity "Look-Alike" not really face reveal but kinda

personal blog

[hwaightme]

Timezone

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

🎸 pairing: rockstar!fiance!seonghwa x gn!reader 🎸 genre: fluff, long distance angst, established long-term relationship 🎸 summary: "Only thing that keeps us apart // Is a different timezone" - TIMEZONE by Måneskin; during a long tour, the only thing seonghwa wants is to come home to you, and to hold you in his arms 🎸 wordcount: 3.2k total 🎸 warnings/tags: not edited, language, songfic, enamoured simping activated, seonghwa misses you intensely, he is one step away from swimming to you, seonghwa has tattoos and lip piercings, lyricist producer musician rock singer hwa good luck to us all, words of endearment/pet names (baby, angel... etc) 🎸 taglist: at the bottom of the hcs 🎸 a/n: this is for @starrysvn the most wonderful, beautiful soul. thank you for being who you are, ilysm. and may this small manifestation of our shared delulus bring some sunshine~

There was no salvation for a heart that was on the verge of breaking. No call could replace the sensation of a lover’s whisper, no video could replace the feeling of skin against skin nor of a warm and reassuring embrace. The myriad of details that made you who you were seemed to be slipping through Seonghwa’s fingers, and he was a desperate man drowning in quicksand of responsibility and routine.

Every chord was a strike of the coldest and sharpest blade on his tired body, and the sweat trickling down his face as he yelled his emotions to thousands masked the tears that were welling in his eyes. It was unbelievable, how in the faces of millions the only features he could ever make out were those that resembled yours. In every cheer he could only hear you, how you could make his name sound like magic. The lyrics �� a simple selection of syllables, words, always fell short of describing how he felt, and every song appeared trivial compared to the fire in his heart, to your existence in his life.

Too many miles separated you, and he would be damned if he were to say that he was fine with it. This was the unbelievable curse of his work. An artist, a singer, a musical innovator who had evolved from being in a group of hoodlums with a dream to being in a star-studded collective, a band that was paving the way for many others and inspiring loyal and new fans to reach the stars with them. But where was his star? Even when surrounded by the speakers, side by side with his friends on those grand global stages, this question never left Seonghwa’s mind. Losing sight of what he truly desired, he ran into an oblivion.

After the concerts, it was customary for the young man to spend some time with his fans, still on an adrenaline rush and thus were expecting interaction, further connection, and insights into the most recent performance. However, tonight, he could not even begin to find the energy to press the right button. Claiming that he was feeling a little under the weather, Seonghwa delegated the role of publicity man to another member and hobbled to his hotel room, collapsing onto the bed sheets not caring for the state of his clothes, his hair, nor for the creases that were undoubtedly going to form. This was no issue.

The electric guitar, his trusted comrade in composition and emotional turmoil, was left in a black case on the floor. Stickers marking the cities he had visited decorated a portion of the surface, while the rest was another depiction of you. Scurrying off the bed, he erratically shot to the case and brought it up with him, letting it rest by his side so he could admire the artwork more closely. Over many days, you had decided to surprise him by painting the dark leather, echoing famous renaissance pieces and intricate flora. Impeccable, incorporating nods to his and your lives through symbolism, be it in the hint of a star ship, a guitar pick, or a paintbrush hidden in foliage, it was a reminder of a life that he always wanted to live and to keep close.

He wanted to destroy the walls of his room. He wanted to break the glass, fight the agony of the sorrowful monster eating away at his soul with physically radical action, anything to take his mind away from the fact that you were thousands of miles away, and that when he was cursed to be awake, you were in dreamland. He could not even protect you from the nightmares that you sometimes had. He could not keep you close. You were unable to run your hands through his inky black, long and tousled locks as a way to calm yourself. Why was he doomed to sacrifice the heavenly touches and sweet words in favour of roaming the globe like a madman, screaming the same things into a microphone until they lost all meaning? Seonghwa missed you. Violently. Painfully. Aggressively. If it took raising hell to elevate him to your heaven before he would ultimately crumble, he would choose to do so in a heartbeat.

His hands inadvertently travelled into the pocket of his flared jeans, fishing out the device which he had been glued to for the full duration of his tour. At any spare second. Lockscreen – your smiling face, surrounded by the scenery of his hometown when you two went for a visit over the holidays. Tapping in the date of your birthday, he came face to face with a photo where you two were together – a candid picture snapped by his closest friend and fellow band member during a celebratory dinner; you two laughing at a joke shared between yourselves, so in love that every part of you and him were intertwined. Seonghwa wanted to break himself apart. Take his heart and mind out and douse them in cold water so that at least for a moment he could have some space to breathe before ultimately repeating: you, you you again. Fingers flying to tap onto the messaging app you preferred to use most often, though the two of you had conversations going on almost every piece of social media, he scrolled through your chats, relistened to the voice messages and scrutinised every photo until it was re-imprinted in his brain. As if he could ever forget in the first place.

He would likely be a laughingstock, wouldn’t he? A man with the world at his feet, wanting nothing more than to collapse at the feet of another. Sure, his fans were no strangers to the fact that there was ‘a special someone’ in his life, though since he made sure to keep his private matters truly secure, no one knew who was the reason why he woke up even when the day was promising challenge and turmoil. The only sign of his undying devotion that he dared to expose with shameless pride was the tiny red band around his pinkie, a simple line alluding to the string of fate, of soulmates. One night, not too long ago even though it seemed that you knew each other for your entire lives, when you had the chance to spend time together without worrying about work matters and could let time trickle past while stargazing, he proposed. Perhaps it was not traditional, the four words uttered only in passing after you had already blessed him with your agreement. Instead Seonghwa had suggested the permanence of a tattoo as a symbol for your love, and revealed his faith and devotion. Written in the stars, he found his guidance in you. Just like the constellations, galaxies and mythical creatures permanently etched on his skin, he wanted to live the neverending story with you.

As he shifted his grip on the phone to glance at the red band, Seonghwa could not help but imagine what you could be doing right this second. Could you be stirring from sleep? Could you be getting ready for another day at work? How was that one personal project you picked up going? He hammered out letter after letter on driven by what had to be an external power, so much mightier than him. The rockstar bit his lower lip, feeling a tug on one of the piercings, but that made him simply bite down harder.

I’m losing my mind.

Without hesitation, he sent the message into the void, hoping that you would not be too worried and simply accept it as one of his eccentricities as an artist. Finally, he tugged off the leather jacket that had been clinging onto his body, suffocating him, and collapsed back onto the bed. Exhaustion was a beast weighing down on him and pushing him into the mattress. Nothing but a lonely carcass, Seonghwa imagined himself as carrion left for the devouring by devious promoters, producers, agents and the like. Freedom was an interesting concept in his industry. Did he have it? Or was it the case that as soon as he gave into a dream, he signed his very being away to be an offering for the money-hungry world? He was definitely going mad. He needed you. Seonghwa missed you. Feverish, anxious, he grabbed a fistful of the duvet with his free hand and counted the passing seconds, too many of them, but not as much as the distance between where he was supposed and wanted to be, and where he currently was.

A loud ringing jolted him out of his paralysing ruminations – his phone. He rolled his head to the side, and upon seeing the incoming video call could not be faster in wriggling to rest on the headboard and answer. So you were awake, and in a couple of seconds… there you were, hair in a loose side braid, a familiar vintage t-shirt adorning your shoulders. You were at the desk – your home office, cradling what had to be a cup of coffee. Black, no sugar, no cream. Nothing. Just how you liked it.

“Hi baby,” you greeted him with the warmth of a thousand suns, and soon enough, his smile returned to him too, though still a little weak, beaten down by the weeks spent apart. It was still dark where you were, while for him it was already dark. It was easy to face when with you, however – nothing could be brighter than you.

“You’re wearing my old clothes?” Seonghwa could not help but ask, too curious to refrain from the inquiry. You looked down at the shirt momentarily before lifting your head and nodding.

“Yep. There’s been a change of plans so I am working from home today. And… I wanted to have a day-long hug from my fiancé.”

“You always wear them better, and I wish it were me and not the tee, angel,” he sighed, eyes trailing down what part of you he could see. He might be wrong, but you appeared to be a little tired, dark circles more prominent under your gorgeous eyes, and movements a fraction more lethargic than how they would usually be in the mornings.

“Is that what you were losing your mind over?” you attempted to lighten the mood, but Seonghwa could not play along when the joke was a reality. You caught onto this quickly enough, and paused to look at him more closely.

Seonghwa could feel the intensity of your inspection. It was as though you were reading him like one of the many books you had collected. Basking in the attention from his lover, he leaned further back onto the pillows and let himself think out loud.

“We have another flight tomorrow.”

“Yeah, next is the third to last concert, right-”

“I want to fly to you,” the young artist cut you off, staring at nowhere in particular as he voiced his one wish.

“It’s not too long now, Hwa, and then we have a whole month to ourselves. No touring. Home.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love. But also, I am proud of you. You are bringing dream to reality-“

“Fuck what I’m dreaming. What does all of this mean anyways?” he retorted, making you raise an eyebrow before leaning onto the desk.

“All of this means that you are yourself. You are an artist. A light for so many souls. And if you cannot hear this, then let me remind you that I love you, the you who is so driven, so talented and so hardworking. Park Seonghwa who has been destined to become a star and give hope to millions. You are yourself, and that is what is so precious and iconic about you.”

You had a way with words. You always did. Stepping in when he was at his lowest and managing to drag him out of what he had assumed was an abyss, you were his biggest supporter, cheerleader, muse. When he was afraid to put pen to paper or deemed a melody worthless, you were the one to encourage him to experiment, try things out regardless, and with such strength that now it was a philosophy he abided by; it never hurt to try, and perfection was impossible. What was achievable, however, was satisfaction and happiness with the self. It was more than enough to try. And now, you were the one fearlessly bearing the catastrophic mass that was his worries with the last tour dates.

“Oh how dare you…” he mumbled, lips trembling ever so slightly as he pushed out the words. Involuntarily a mist settled over his eyes, and Seonghwa’s surroundings began to blur.

“No, baby come on, don’t cry, or we’ll be crying together. Let’s stay strong for each other, yeah? Like the dragon you have? Let’s leave the tears for later, and hopefully make the source of them a happy one,” you cooed, your own heart being torn apart as you witnessed your lover’s vulnerability, raw misery expressing itself as the hard exterior of a professional rockstar fell away. The hint at one of his many tattoos made Seonghwa’s mouth twitch into a tiny smile, an adoring gesture to remind your fiancé that you could draw each of the masterpieces from memory, having spent many nights tracing them with your digits.

“I-… Y/N I… I love you so much, you know that, right?” The confession turned query was choked, feeble, fragile, an offering made of the thinnest glass. One that you would protect with your life.

“Hwa, I love you too. So much…”

“Everything makes me think of you…” fatigue was evident, coating his vocal cords thick with a somnolent huskiness.

“Soon, you won’t have to remember me. You will have me in real time. Will you look forward to that for me?”

“Always.”

One topic, another, talking about nothing and everything at once. Trivial matters transformed into beautiful tales. In what had appeared to him to be no time at all, you had to rush into your first meeting of the day, while he was left a little less lonely in the hotel room continents away from you, with only his guitar and your reassuring love to keep him company. A hope, an excitement rekindled in his chest, bubbling up and flying across the bloodstreams into a tingling sensation in the fingertips, and a pleasant, hazy buzz in his brain. Caught between what had to be sleep and delirium, Seonghwa moved exclusively on instinct. In a few movements, he produced a tattered notebook and pen that had listened to his every confession and flipped it to an empty page before setting it down on the sheets.

Carefully, he took the guitar out of its case, and upon checking that it was properly tuned let a few notes hang in the air. The longer Seonghwa stared at the wall, the more confident he became in the fact that he could see you standing there in front of him, and as the words began to pour, it was you who he was confiding in. When with you, he was not afraid. When dedicating yet another song to you, he could not care less for the lack of rest, for how he greeted the dawn. He had a week until the last show, and he sure as hell was going to make full use of it.

The arena was silent aside from a few yells, before they too, succumbed to the suspense. The spotlights were almost blinding, and Seonghwa suddenly felt grateful for the fact that his image allowed for sunglasses. Elegantly perched on the bridge of his nose, they masked his anxiety as he adjusted his microphone, setting it back onto the stand while the rest of the band was exchanging glances and making the last checks before the grand finale, what he had decided would be the last ‘official’ song of the concert, and therefore the tour. Of course, the audience would ask for an encore. Of course, he would step right back out on stage to perform it – the act had already been planned in advance. But it was this song, one that he and his closest friends had spent night and day finalising, recording, even sending off to be made commercial, that would be his final word.

“Distance is measured in miles, and in how strongly you feel them. This is ‘Timezone’,” following the brief introduction, he momentarily shut his eyes and sucked in a shaky breath. In that split second, he did not exist. He was not on stage, he was home. Seonghwa could feel your hand on his shoulder and could float in your perfume. This was no different to how he would play for you in the living room – anything you wished for, he would either perform or learn on the spot or even create. So, maybe, just maybe, you will be able to hear him now, too. And how he was calling out for you, and was counting the seconds until he could see you again.

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning

I'm coming home

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

A roar overtaking expressions of gratitude. With every bow the crowd grew wilder and wilder. Chants praising the song were unfathomably strong, and Seonghwa had no doubt that the videos would go viral. Would you see them? Would you message him after? He did not need the answers to these questions. Not when he almost dropped his guitar as he saw you standing backstage, arms open wide, a staff lanyard around your neck. He was thankful for how you did not mind his sweat-covered arms, his glistening forehead as he pressed himself against you. He was enamoured with how your lips fit perfectly together, piercings and all, as he planted one kiss after another, each one bringing him back to life. He was eternally devoted to every moment with you.

“I told you, soon, didn’t you?” He could not respond, instead choosing to nod lest he break down in the midst of his overwhelming elation, “same timezone…” you altered the lyrics – sunlight after a rainstorm.

“I’m home, Y/N,” he mumbled into your hair before pulling you even closer to him, arms wound tight around your body, fingers dancing on your back as though he was still in disbelief that you were here.

“Welcome home, my love,” he leaned into your hand that reached for his face, letting you cup it. With nothing to keep you two apart, Seonghwa let himself get lost in your eyes, the string of fate winding tighter and tighter until his, and your heart were both glistening in a healing gold, the hints of cracks sealed and more beautiful than ever, standing the test of time, of space, of dreams.

🎸 taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @archivesummer @little-angel-k @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy

enjoyed? please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. thank you, much love!

[suskz]

Hi there! Could write a Chan x reader. Reader went to a skz fansigning & got dared to give Chan a note and along with the note there was an attached hotel key card, asking him to meet her at a certain time and at first he was so hesitant about it but then when the reader waits for over an hour after the time stated on the note, she opens the hotel door ready to leave and there is chan 👀

pairing: Idol!Chan x Fan!Fem!Reader

t/w: fluff ; Chan is a tease and a flirt ; reader is delulu (even tho she says she isn’t).

w/c: around 1.3k

a/n: I’m not really sure about this. I practically wrote what you had already written. I wanted to extend the final part but it just didn’t come out right. Anyway, yours is a really great idea, I love it! I hope you still like this!

It's a stupid idea. It's ridiculous. And yet you're doing it anyway.

You know it's impossible for it to actually happen, but if you're doing it, it's because deep down —very deep down— inside you, there's a little hope.

“You got this, girl!” you hear from the other end of the phone. This only makes you more nervous and embarrassed about what you're doing. You're so damn delusional.

Your hand moves the pen faster across the paper as you mutter a 'shut up' to your friend, who sighs yet again at your harsh choice of words.

The click of the pen marks the end of your note.

You end the call, get up from the toilet, and leave the bathroom as if nothing happened —or will happen. You get back in line behind other people waiting to see their idols, preparing yourself for the humiliation.

But when you find yourself in front of him, you realise there's no way to prepare for the humiliation from something like this.

“Hello!” he greets you with a smile, wearing the wolf ear headband that one of the fans before you gave him.

“Hi.” Your voice is anxious, and he can tell.

You hand him the album you have in your hands, and he immediately opens it and starts signing it.

Your heart beats fast because you are in front of him, Bang Chan. Your idol, the man who has captured your heart more than anyone else. And the man who will soon want to run as far away from you as possible after opening your letter.

A card, a place, and a street. 'Let’s meet at 5pm tomorrow?' written with an uncertainty you never imagined you could experience.

You already prepare to laugh to brush away the embarrassment when he opens the letter. You start to consider whether to give it to him or not. You could spare yourself an embarrassing moment and continue living your life normally. Maybe that's better; fuck the dare, it's just a silly game.

“What’s your name?” Your thoughts are interrupted by his sweet voice as he looks up from the album, perhaps a little amused.

You feel your cheeks heat up as you realise you've been silently staring at him for too long. A few seconds, but it's already too much.

“Uh, Y/n.” You try to say with as much confidence as possible, but it doesn’t come out as you would have liked.

“How are you, Y/n?” He asks kindly.

“I’m good, thanks. A bit nervous, actually.” You admit, and he looks at you still smiling.

“Oh, you don’t need to be.” He reassures you.

"It’s just, I’m sitting in front of a God, you left me speechless." You try to sound as normal as possible. You've rehearsed what to say to him in advance, and you don't want your anxiety to prevent you from talking to him.

He opens his mouth to speak but immediately shuts it, taken by surprise. Now it’s him who’s speechless.

“That’s too sweet, thank you.” His smile widens, his eyes forming crescents and his dimples more visible than before, if possible.

"That's the truth though, you're much more handsome in person than I thought." you compliment him again.

You feel more relaxed now and manage to speak with him normally for the rest of the time.

It's when you have to move on to the next member and he greets you that you give him the letter.

"This is for you, I would appreciate it if you read it later."

And indeed, he remembers to read it at the end of the fan sign.

‘From Y/n’ he reads in his mind, opening it.

And he thinks you're crazy. Maybe a maniac. Delusional enough to do something like this thinking he would show up.

And he's ready to give it to the staff to throw it in the trash, but when someone behind him calls him, he's too taken aback to think properly and puts your letter in his pocket.

It's a stupid move, but he promises himself to throw it away later, in the dressing room.

Or a few hours later, at home. Or in his room, after reading it one last time. Or after reading it twice. Or three times.

For the first time, he takes out the key card and examines it in his hands. It's real, it's not a joke.

‘That’s crazy’, he realises. He can't show up, it would be stupid, it would be dangerous. It's the best thing to do, ignore it all.

And yet you are still waiting for him, dressed in the black leather skirt your friends chose for you. You glance at the clock and realise you've been sitting on the hotel room sofa for almost an hour.

You knew it was a stupid idea and that he would never show up. Actually, it would have been insane of Chan to do so. He probably thought you were a serial killer or something, or that you wanted to kidnap him.

You sigh. You get up from the sofa, grab your bag from where it’s placed on a chair, and head to the door.

When you open it, though, you quickly step back and almost throw your bag at the person standing in front of you. 

Your eyes widen when you realise who it is. 

"Uh… hello." He smiles awkwardly, scratching the nape of his neck.

He came.

A thought immediately flashes through your mind.

Now what?

When you sit on the sofa, after him, you are the first to speak, “I didn’t… think you would actually come.” You find the courage to look him in the eyes.

“I didn’t think I would come either, it was a last-minute decision,” he admits. “I don’t know what was going through my mind when I decided to come.” He chuckles slightly, and you smile.

“Is it because I seemed cute to you at the fan sign?” You tease him. Embarrassing. You realize too late that you shouldn’t have said it.

You’re lucky, though, because he plays along, “I couldn’t find the words to tell you after being called a God.” He teases back, a smirk forming on his lips.

You stay silent for a while, embarrassment spreading across your cheeks and making him chuckle.

“Can you blame me? You have me obsessed over your fancams, the way you move is amazing.”

“Oh, yeah?” He grins, “I’m honored to know that a pretty girl like you watches my fancams.” He says playfully.

Pretty?

“Oh shut up.” You say jokingly, rolling your eyes to hide the blush coloring your cheeks.

“I will, if it’s you who says so.” He says, looking into your eyes in a way that now seems more intense.

You swallow hard, not expecting such a response, trying to hold his gaze.

“If you don’t stop talking like that, I’ll be completely yours, Mr. Bang.” You find the confidence in his eyes to say these words.

He chuckles, “I’d like to see that.”

“You’re being too much of a tease.” You say in a pouty tone, looking away like a child who didn’t get their candy.

“Don’t you like me for that very reason?” He asks rhetorically, raising an eyebrow.

You turn your head back toward him and smile, “Yes, I like you for that too.”

And he knew that at the end of this evening, he would have to leave and pretend nothing happened.

And he knew it was wrong and he would regret it when he had to face the consequences, but he did it anyway.

“Should we exchange numbers?”

[icantdothistodaybruh]

oh, are you familiar with the BoM side story? where arthur dreams of different characters in different fairy tales? i’ve become so! obsessed! with the snow queen versions of sebaciel. ciels outfit is so pretty on him!! but i love a ciel that left everything behind to stay with sebastian.. and sebastian, he’s been so lonely for so long that when he gets a pretty boy he can’t let him go. when someone tries to save him they not only get a “no” but get forcefully snow-blasted right out the door. they understand each other because no one sees the beauty in desolation like they do… so of course they stay isolated in a castle together.

there’s the panel where sebastian’s wrapping his coat around ciels whole body… sebastian acting so smugly to ciels rescuers… the line where ciel says he belongs to the devil… i could live here forever… please consider this cold angle of sebaciel

I AM! AND IT'S ONE OF MY FAVE EXTRAS OUT THERE!!

The implication that the whole dream was of Sebastian's doing (which he is very capable of judging by GWA) brings out such an interesting twist to it - we can see a glimpse of Sebastian's actual opinion on other characters! But I'm of course going to talk a little about Ciel solely for today hehe

I might be wrong since I only have ru and eng translation at hand, but the way Ciel talks about his heart being frozen and eye belonging to the devil makes me think of these acts as essentially same thing, especially given that he "adapted beautifully to the world of Ice" by Sebastian's words. I mean that his heart being frozen doesn't equal to death or inability to feel, but rather just that, adaptation and belonging.

Now I know it sounded far-fetched, but the reason It caught my attention in the first place was the mentioning of the heart at all. It's a dream made by Sebastian, the 'emotionless' and 'unfeeling' demon, with clear analogy to the contract built on power, revenge, and hunger for one's soul, or at least that is how it always was portrayed before. So why would his made up dream-Ciel suddenly bring a heart into equation?

You should've seen my face when I got to the chapter were Elizabeth escapes to rCiel. Call me delulu but it suddenly made so much sense when Sebastian started talking how "human hearts are mysterious, complex things" and "no matter if you are demon or god it is truly and utterly impossible to shackle another's heart." Before that I wouldn't even think he'd have any opinion on the matters of the heart, let alone it be a stated fact to him that he can't have it in a way he can own souls or bodies.

And so that man, in his made up dream, with a made up Ciel, made that Ciel say that not only his soul (eye) belongs to the devil, but heart too. Knowing for a fact it can't belong to him in reality. I'm speechless.

Also when I got your ask yesterday I thought I should make a fanart or a redraw of that scene, and once again, you should've seen my face when I found the page:

and if you don't know why I was so surprised I'll gladly explain with two more pics:

My head exploded.

Three pieces. Representing their change of masks and roles. Yet each is the same in it's core. And one of them is character's fantasy while other two his reality. I'm so done with this show.

...could it be that Arthur's dream made by Sebastian is yet another lie becoming truth?...

[delusionalmultifandomwriter]

HiHiHi

So do can u do a Luke Castellan x Child of Persephone (or SMT Idrc)reader and She HAS THE BIGGEST DELULU EVER

Like Imagine Luke faked breaking up with her and she’s like “no no 🥰 I want my kids have that big brown eyes My dear” Or Smt in the lines of that and Luke laughs his but off and ITS JUST HER DELULU OVER COMING HER

Thank you so much for your request! <3

Luke Castellan x fem!persephone!reader fluff

Requested?: Yes!!

I hope you are all well, i love you all!! Have a nice day and enjoy!

Reader cursing at Luke is her love language

Masterlist

Luke was always struggeling to keep up relationships with people. He had Chris as the ever lasting person in his life since they first met at Camp Halfblood when they were 14 years old. After that, everyone was coming and going but noone really stayed for long.

You only joined his life later. Having spent most of your life in the Underworld with your mother, social normes and interactions with living people were a riddle to you.

Long story short, you were... a challenge for most people. Not that they didnt like you. The younger kids loved you and even Dionysus gave you a smirk whenever you left behind a slightly distressed demigod that tried to challenge you.

Maybe you weren't from this realm but that certainly did not mean that you didn't like it at the camp. You were craving the space that the Underworld couldn't offer you. It was only a matter of time that someone would fall for you.

By chance, that was a certain son of Hermes. Luke fell for you just as bad as you fell for him. You knew he was complicated. He was reaching for the stars but got disappointed over and over again since he was a baby.

Luke was in a bad headspace today. He didnt really know when the idea crept up to him. Maybe it was because the gods let him down for one too many times. He had been questioning your love for him for the last few days while he rotted away in bed, trying not to neglect too many of his tasks.

He needed proof of your love. Proof that you would not leave him behind like everyone else did. He contemplated talking to you but proud as he was, he quickly discarded that idea and stirred up a plan instead.

A fake breakup.

It would give him the opportunity to see your raw reaction. And he could find out if you were serious about him. Or even glad to get rid off him? Luke didn't want to think about that. He loved you after all.

"You entered the Hermes Cabin after sword practice this afternoon. You were a little sweaty and your clothes had dust stains on it from the sand in the arena. Luke was laying on his bed, his arm covering his eyes. You thought that maybe he was sleeping so you tiptoed over to your bed and started taking off your boots.

Luke shuffled on his bed and groaned as he sat up. He smiled tiredly as he looked up to find you watching him. "Hey." He mumbled but his expression dropped soon. You looked at him confused.

"What's up, darling?" You asked while you put your boots to the side. Luke got up and approached you. "I thought about something all day... can we talk?" He asked. You nodded. "Of course. What's bothering you?"

Luke looked around. Besides the two of you, everyone was out of the cabin running around somewhere else. The situation was perfect... He sighed. "I... there is something." He said hesitating, fiddling with his hands. This was not normal. You frowned. Your Luke was never this nervous about talking to you.

"Im breaking up with you." He whispered in a low tone, barely able to get the words over his lips. He could see your world shatter into pieces. Your expression dropped and a couple of dead moths fell from the ceiling, making Luke cringe away a little.

Finally, you broke out of your freezed and shocked state.

"What?! No, no, no, no." You said, tears dwelling up in your eyes. Luke tried to pull his gaze away from you and turned around to the cabin door. There formed a single tear in his eyes too. He hated seeing you cry.

You grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to face you. "Why would you break up with me?" You sobbed. Luke looked at you irritated, trying to keep his sadness down. "You deserve someone better than me." He grumbled under his breath. You pushed him against the wall by his shoulders angrily.

"I wanted our kids to have your eyes." You yelled at Luke, tears streaming down your face. "What?" Luke asked, suddenly taken aback. You violently tried to whip the tears from your face, smearing some dust onto your cheeks.

"Our kids need to have your eyes!" You sobbed and suddenly Luke wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You tried to push him away but he kept you in his embrace. After a few seconds, you stop trying to free yourself and let your head fall against his chest.

At first you thought Luke was crying too, from the way his shoulders were moving up and down in a quick, steady rhythm but soon you noticed that the bastard was actually laughing.

"I hate you." You mumbled between a few sniffs. "I know." Luke whispered, there was a light chuckled in his voice that he failed to swallow down. "Thats okay. Its what i deserve."

"Luke Castellan, i hate you so, so much. We will meet in Tartarus if you dont quit the bullshit right now." You weakly slapped his chest. "But i love you. Please, this was not real?" Your sobs died down as you leaned against his chest.

Luke swallowed heavily and finally, after a long moment, shook his head. You exhaled and sobbed again, this time because of the relief rushing through your body.

You leaned up to wrap your arms around him too, holding him close. You buried your hand in his hair and made him look at you. "You were kidding, right?" Luke nodded hesitantly, worried you would make some more dead animals fall from the sky.

You wanted to slap Luke. But that is not what you do to your boyfriend, at least not right now. Instead you rested your head on his shoulder and rubbed your tears dry on his tshirt.

"Hey." Luke complained, trying to push you off but you pressed him against the wall and continued to use him as your personal tissue paper. "That's your punishment, you idiot." Luke carassed your hair and let you go on with you drying your tears.

"Why did you do this?" You asked. Luke looked away, ashamed that he actually thought this was a good idea. You put a hand on his cheek and made him look at you. "This is not what i think about it is, is it?" You asked with a shocke expression.

Luke nodded slowly, lowering his gaze. You sighed and leaned against his forehead. "I really love you, otherwise i wouldn't keep you as my boyfriend. Luke nodded slowly, accepting.

"Luke?" "Mhh?" He hummed. "Will you be my boyfriend again?" You asked. A slight smile crept up on your face but you tried to hide it to not let Luke win just right away. Luke chuckled, his mood becoming a little better again. "If you truly want that." You groaned and bumped your head on his shoulder a few times.

"Just say yes, you morron." "Yes." He whispered. You pet his hair a little. "Good boy." You grinned at Luke, who now rolled his eyes. "But i am not having children with you until we both got a job." He argued but it ended up in a laugh. He was laughing at the absurdity of this situation.

Now it was you rolling your eyes. "Fine. Reasonable." You grumbled and pouted at him a little. Luke smiled and wrapped his arms around you extra tight. "Did you mean it? My eyes, really?" He asked. You huffed.

"I was never before this serious in my life." You stated firmly. Luke leaned forward to kiss the tip of your nose. You scrunched your nose sweetly and peppered his face with small kisses.

"So... if i mess up you will throw dead animals at me?" Luke asked mockingly, as you pulled back. You grumbled and slapped Luke's chest again.

"If you dont cut the bullshit, i will stuff a dead rat into your pillow case."

[elliespeach]

tear you apart part three | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ"you're a charmer, aren't you?" ´ˎ˗

pairing ellie wiliams x fem reader synopsis ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place. wordcount: 3.1k warnings: murder 😱 and stalking both cyber and in person, ellie is obsessive, manipulative, a gaslighter, a pervert lowkey, possessive and easily jealous, shes also so delusional like top tier delulu, shes based off joe goldberg so i mean put the pieces together. this is all from her perspective, most if not all of the inner monologue is ellie's thoughts about you, the italics is verbatim what she is thinking in that very moment if that makes sense. like joe, all of her actions are justified in her mind, and she doesn't see anything wrong with them. reader has a dysfunctional family. pls lmk if i am missing something! an: i cannot express enough how thankful i am for all the love for this story really it means so much. obsessive ellie nation rise once again, i come before you with this part and i hope it was worth the wait :) xoxo

watching you cry yourself to sleep on your couch made ellie’s heart throb. she wanted to be there for you, to hold you, to tell you everything was going to be okay, that she was going to make it all okay. but she knew better than to expect that you’d let her, after all, you still barely knew her. so how is it that she could lead you straight into her arms, where you belong? 

it was the next day, and although your state of mind was completely shattered by the events of the previous night, ellie was wide awake, ecstatic at her new idea on how to make you all better. she would hope that your encounter with her helped you, as much as it could but she couldn’t just rely on that, ellie had to take action. she never wanted to see you in tears over someone like that again. 

starting her day in the shop as normal, she filled orders, fixed a few finicky records and sold boring albums to boring souls who she wished was you. she spent the better part of the morning fantazizing about you wandering into her store yet again. needing help finding an album, or better yet just to talk to her. it hasnt even been more than twelve hours and she missed your voice already, replaying your conversation over and over in her head like her favorite movie. 

while the traffic in the store died down, ellie did more research on the newly found suzanna mavis. formally known as suzanna hardwick, she grew up in a cushy home, with preppy parents who supported every endenvour she seemed to possess. her facebook was littered with photos of shuana in every aspect of her life, along with her prized possession; a baby blue mercedes benz. but, there seemed to be someone missing, her husband of twenty five years was seemingly no where to be found on her social media. when ellie searched his name alone, mr. mavis seemed to have no social media at all. 

thats fine, ellie only needed suzanna. 

finding out where she worked required no effort at all as it was displayed clearly on her facebook profile. she was the assistant to some shareholder, blah blah boring. but the company name was one she recongized, their office building was just a few blocks down from her store. she passed it nearly everyday on her commute to see you. 

for ellie’s plan to work, she had to close the store early. it was barely noon when she found herself in the parking garage to suzanna’s building. there was a guard booth, but no guards and the garage itself was a ghost town of rich people cars. she spotted the blue mercedes, and her plan was in motion.. 

thanks to you so graciously and unknowingly, giving her suzanna’s personal cell phone number, she dialed and it only rang once, her preppy voice ringing in ellie’s ears. she almost felt her stomach whirling in anticipation, but the sensation quickly washed away into something more sinister. no. protective

“suzanna mavis speaking,” 

ellie paced back and forth near the elevator in the garage, “hey, mrs. mavis,” she rolled her eyes at her own voice, trying to sound not like herself, “i’m one of the guards down in the parking garage, looks like someone keyed your benz this morning.” 

ellie heard a loud sigh, then the distant sounds of heels clicking on the ground. “are you kidding me? you didn’t stop them?” 

ellie suppressed a sigh, “i was on lunch–” 

“your job is to guard our cars, if you can’t even do that–” her voice was shrill, and ellie’s patience was running low.

“ma’am, just come downstairs, the police need a statement.” 

ellie heard a few curses string from the phone before the call ended, she chuckled to herself before sliding her phone into her pocket. ellie slowly walked over to the blue mercedes, examining it up close. she crouched down, removing her small switchblade and flinging it open. she almost didn’t do it, it was unnecessary really. but the image of you so broken by her made ellie’s mouth twitch. how she had smiled at you while speaking about her husband, ignoring you, leading you on, preying on you. the switchblade moved as if it had it’s own mind, scratching the car from back to front in one swift movement. 

breathing out in relief, ellie heard the ding of the elevator behind her. 

she watched from behind a nearby car as suzanna stepped out of the elevator, a sour puss on her face as she made her way towards her car. she groaned when she saw the long, deep slice into the side of the car. ellie pulled up her handkerchief over her nose and while suzanna was busy inspecting her car, ellie pounced. 

she had a hand covering suzanna’s mouth, her switchblade pressed against her neck with the other. suzanna thrashed in her arms but ellie held her ground, “shh, shh!” ellie hissed in her ear, whisking her around and pinning her to her own car. “i’m not going to kill you, shut up–” 

ellie kept the switchblade at her throat, quickly looking around. with the coast clear, she slowly removed her hand from suzanna’s mouth. “take my money, please i don’t–” 

“i don’t want that either,” ellie looked suzanna up and down. her? you’re losing your mind over her? “i want you to speed up your big family move to california. leave tomorrow.” 

suzanna’s eye furrowed as if she was confused, “w-what?” 

“you’re moving to california at the end of the summer, are you not?” ellie’s paitence was growing thinner by the second, and the switchblade was pressed into her neck so deep any movement would draw blood. 

suzanna was shaking underneath ellie, and as she spoke her voice was weak, “what? my family was never moving to california, please i’ll give you anything!” 

shauna lied? why the hell would she lie about that?

“go anyway. leave the city.” leave you alone.

“i can’t just pick up my whole family and move to another state, we-we have a life here.” suzanna was trembling now, her voice shaking just as much as her legs.

well, if you won’t leave on your own. “i really didn’t want to have to kill you,” ellie said casually, almost annoyed. she moved quickly, snatching a clump of suzanna’s hair in her hand and whipping her around. ellie barely blinked as she slammed suzanna’s face into the baby blue mersedes. once. harder. twice. harder. three times. even harder. four times. as hard as physically possible. blood stained the blue on the car, and suzanna’s body fell to the ground as ellie let go. limp. dead. 

out of your life. 

– later that day 

ellie realized she had fucked up big time when she got back to the store.

the night she saved you, she shouldve given you her number. she had no way to check up on you, to make sure you were okay with the news to come. she would have to go back to her tried and true; “accidentally” running into you. before she could see online which bar you and your friends would overdrink at tonight, ellie found you standing outside her store. you came all this way to see me. 

“hi ellie,” you smiled brightly, illuminated by neon red sign on her store. you must not know yet. poor baby. 

“hey stranger,” ellie kept her voice calm, but she hoped that her bodys reaction to seeing you wasn’t visible. she could feel her face grow hot, and she did her best to hide it by keeping her back to you as she locked the stores door. she could smell your sweet perfume from here, and she cleared her throat before speaking again, turning to face you now that the redness in her face had diminished, “if you’re here for a vinyl, i’ll ring you up still–” 

“no, no, i came to see you.” you replied shyly, quickly glancing at your feet before meeting her gaze again with your soft eyes. while you had glanced away, ellie took you all in. she admired the dedication you put into your outfits, and she liked to believe you picked this one out just for her.

“oh?” was all ellie could say. she was busy imagining you standing in front of your mirror, trying on a thousand different outfits. ellie would’ve loved every single one of them regardless, as long as they are on you. she thought about you doing your makeup all pretty, how long that must take. detailing your face for hours, just for me. 

“yeah. i wanted to see if you’d like to get drinks with me tonight?” 

oh.

her eyes widened, never did she think that you’d ask her out. she wanted to be the one to wisk you away for a perfect date that you deserved. but ellie would settle for drinks for now, until she finally could take you on a real date. she composed herself, remaining casual. as casual as she could be. “yeah, i’d love that. we could go now, i’m done with the store for today.” 

“yeah, let’s go,” you flashed another smile at ellie, which she returned. it was like the universe was rewarding her for her good deed. you coming to see her, to ask her out. it seemed like everything was falling perfectly into place. now that suzanna was gone. 

ellie had been racking her brain all day about what suzanna had told her. that there was never any intention to move at all. that shauna had lied, for what? a reaction? why would she even want that kind of reaction out of you in the first place? 

what was shauna hiding?

“so, why’re you in new york? are you from here?” ellie inquired, for no other reason that to hear you talk. you’re here for your art.

“not from here, i moved here to hopefully make a name for myself as an artist. what about you?” ellie didn’t want to talk about herself, not when you were so lovely. but you were asking about her, and she couldn’t say no to you if she tried. 

“i moved here a few years ago,” ellie revealed, but immediately diverted the conversation back to you. “you’re an artist? well, now i have to see a piece of yours.” ellie’s looked through your instagram enough, she’s seen every one a million times already.

you laughed, looking away sheepishly. “i’m no picasso,” 

“no, but you’re you. so, they can’t be that bad, can they?” 

again, you blushed, giving ellie a shy smile. “you’re a charmer, aren’t you?” 

“i try, what can i say.” ellie shrugged, and you pointed out the bar to her.

she held the door open for you, the music already defenening her ears. it wasn’t a regular bar where you could sit and talk, it was a dancing bar. the bass in the speakers rumbled at her feet, sending shock waves up her spine. this wasn’t ellie’s crowd by a mile, but you looked back at her with the face of an angel and grabbed her hand softly to lead her towards the bar. ellie wasn’t going anywhere, not as long as you were here. 

reaching the bar, you asked for four green tea shots, two each. “yuck, green tea shots?” ellie teased, basically yelling over the music. this time ellie wasn’t worried if you wanted to over indulge, this time she could watch over you for real. and she wasn’t about to make the same mistake your friends made. 

you leaned into her so that you could speak into her ear, and ellie’s heart fluttered in her chest. you were close, very close. the top you were wearing exposed the entirety of your upper torso and she found it hard not to stare. “yes, green tea shots! keep up, ellie.” you laughed, pushing two of the shots to her that bartender left on the counter. 

ellie picked one of them up, holding it out for you to cheer to with your own, “i’ll do my best,” she responded, looking into your shimmering eyes. the things i do for you. you tapped her shot glass, and you both took down the shot with ease, although ellie’s grimaced face told you that she did not like shots, but she picked up the second one before you. 

her grimace didn’t go away with the second one, it actually went down worse for ellie. but it seemed her reaction made you laugh, and ellie was okay with the burning in her throat. before she could recover from the back to back shots, you took her hand again. the same electricity as before stirred inside of her at your touch and she barely noticed you brought her out to the middle of the dance floor, people on all sides dancing to the beat of the very loud music, that seemed to only get louder. 

but you started to sway your hips to the beat. 

and ellie’s breath caught in her throat. 

she realized way too late that she hadn’t eaten today, and those shots were already starting to make her head feel fuzzy. and now here you were in front of her, moving your body in ways that ellie had only dreamed of witnessing firsthand. literally. 

with the alcohol swiftly entering her system with every second that went by, she started to move to the music with you. only a minute went by before her hands were planted on your hips, unable to stop herself before doing so. though, you didn’t seem to mind, if anything it looked like you had closed the remaining gap between the two of you. not ellie.

with your bodies touching with every movement, and ellie’s hands on your hips, it became very intimate. very fast. ellie’s mind was no longer racing at the thought of you being this close to her, instead, it felt like it ignited something inside of her. between the sensual music blaring, the alcohol and most imporantly your chest brushing against ellie’s own every chance it got, she was losing control over herself. 

finally, ellie removed a hand from your hip, bringing it up to your cheek. she held it there for a second, looking into your eyes as she did. you stared back with the same intensity and ellie knew she wasn’t going to be able to stop herself. she watched as you glanced down to her lips, you saw the makings of a smirk before her lips were on yours. 

for a second, ellie thought she was going to wake up. that this had been a dream somehow, she’s had a similar one before with you in it, but when she felt your hands lightly tugging on her hair she knew she couldn’t be fake. ellie pulled you closer, the people around you both be damned, she just wanted more of you. her hands were now wrapped around you, resting on your lower back while your tongue slipped into her mouth. 

ellie groaned. which you shouldn’t have been able to hear, but you felt the vibration on your lips. ellie didn’t care anyway, not when your body was pressed against hers and she could feel very inch of you. 

ellie was no where near finished, but you had pulled away. the music was no longer muffled in her ears, and she was desperately clinging to the sensation you left on her lips. but your attention had been moved to your phone. 

“sorry, i could feel it buzzing non-stop in my pocket. my friend’s calling me, can we go outside?”

shit. shit. shit. shit. “yeah, no problem,” big problem. big big problem. 

ellie followed you outside, preparing herself for the worst. as the night air slapped ellie in the face, her thoughts became more clear. i kissed you. you kissed me back. 

you put the phone to your ear, and ellie made herself busy by pretending to look at her own phone, scrolling through her settings. 

“hey shauna, sorry i didn’t see your calls, i’m on a da– what?” your voice, that had been caring a rather happy tone turned cold, and undeniably shocked. 

“do they know who did it?” you asked, turning away from ellie and slowly pacing as you listened to whatever shuana was saying. you nodded your head a few times before speaking again, “do you want me to come over?” your voice started to shake, and for a second ellie regretted her decision. this will be good for you. in time you’ll realize she was no good for you. 

“okay…if you need anything, i mean anything shuana, please call me.” 

ellie looked up from her phone, an eyebrow raised slightly. “everything okay?” she chirped, sliding her phone into her pocket. you turned around, those beautiful shimmering eyes glistening with tears. “hey, whats wrong?” ellie moved closer, her tone soft and welcoming. 

“my best friends mom was just murdered,” you managed to choke out, and before you could say more, ellie’s arms were wrapped around you tightly. she knew you’d hurt for a while, and that was okay. she would be kind of weirded out if you weren’t, but with time she knew you’d be better. you’d both be better with each other. your face was buried in ellie’s neck with tears marking her shirt while she rubbed your back slowly. 

ellie was calming you the best she could, whispering a soft ‘it’ll be okay’ every few seconds that you remained in the crook of her neck. 

you spoke against her skin softly, your voice sounding weak and defeated, “can you walk me home, ellie? please?” 

“of course,” she kissed the top of your head, not letting you out of the hug until you pulled back. you locked your arms around hers, using her for support as she walked you home. 

ellie had to remind herself to ask you how to get there, after already taking one right turn by accident she was scared you’d question why. but obviously your mind was elsewhere. 

ellie knew her night with you was over, that she would remeince on your shared kiss for days to come until you felt well enough to see her again. to kiss me again. the walk was silent, not an uncomfortable silent but a shared understanding that the mood was low, and ellie was content just being with you, she didn’t need to talk. she was prepared to walk you all the way up to your door, and tell you to call her if you needed anything but when she stopped at the main door to your apartment, you looked back at her with doefully sad eyes. 

“can you stay with me?” 

can you stay with me. rang in her ears like a song. don’t smile. dont fucking smile.

“yeah, i’ll stay with you.” 

you brought her inside, and ellie looked around like she had never been here before. the apartment was dark, and you didn’t go to turn on any of the lights. instead, ellie followed you into your room, choosing to ignore the mess that was your apartment. she decided to focus on you, and when you sunk into your bed, ellie was next to you in a heart beat. 

she didn’t move to cuddle you, fearing she would be over stepping. im in your bed. and youre in it too. like a kid on christmas morning, but your soft crying brought her back down to reality. you shifted, bringing your body up against ellie’s for the second time tonight, resting your head on her shoulder with an arm draped over her. ellie wanted to hold her breath, scared you’d move at the slightest movement from her but you were leaning on her for comfort. her whole plan was to comfort you back to normal. 

her hand moved to your back, and the slow circles she rubbed lulled you to sleep. but ellie was still wide awake. 

————

tags <3 @aouiaa @kissmxcheek @spaceshipellie @strgrlxox @machetegirl109 @uraesthete @mousymaven @ucannotcompare @imahallucination11 @thatgiraffefromtlou @cjrights @sc0ttstre3ted @nicolicht @p1llowthoughtss @ellabsmasc

((sorry if you’ve seen this already and are getting tagged i totally forgot when i posted!!))