#little non fiction or fantasy
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(p.s. also I love when polls do this crescent kind of scheme and then it's fucked up at the very end lol)
1000 Books You May Have Actually Read
#news just in#I suck lmao#tbh it's not like this list was super comprehensive#it had a lot of paranormal romance and normal chicklit#classics (but not sherlock bizarrely)#little non fiction or fantasy#not a lot of my fav genres were in this#but still#can you tell I've had a reader's block since I exited high school basically?#personal#babbelbabbles#also I'm quite sure I read at least 10 books but it was so long ago I couldn't remember if I actually read them so I didn't include any#this list could be a fun challenge for this summer#like “choose 3 books from each page and read them”#some pages had so many interesting reads it'd be hard to choose just 3#other pages were so lackluster it could make for some interesting way of choosing my reads#books
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my 'hey yes we have an all-consuming brainrot going but let's try and do something actually productive this week that I'm having off of work' project is sorting through my bookshelves, rigorously throwing things out (little miss I own over a thousand books in my one-room apartment is reaching the breaking point aka I'm finally and utterly running out of space) and i think i threw out almost a hundred books today and it's still not anywhere close for sorting shelves by genre without having to stack and put things second row. how am I supposed to live like this
#*mine#mona rambles#I've already put a book buying ban on myself until i catch up with my tbr of owned books#unfortunately for me then tolkien took over my brain so while i /am/ only more or less buying my 2 allowed books per month#they're all his stuff and I'm not making a dent in said tbr at all while also having very little hope that this is going to change anytime#soon#i do have a rough sorting now by like....#fantasy / other fiction / queer + feminist + antiracist theory / other non-fiction / poetry / classics / philosophy / language + travel /et#but it's really more of a suggestion and really testing the limits of like.... shelf space lmao#i'll have to catalogue all of it too once i'm done to see what my actual tbr is at and like. man. terrifying#but also i just think someone should pay me money in exchange for 5-50k words per month so that i can move and have a library. it's time
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Tag people you'd like to know better
i was tagged by @chogiwah 😙💕 thanks bestie
Last Song: Before the Dawn by Infinite
Currently Watching: Boss-dol Mart (i only just started last night bc ive been busy but its super fun i love it so far)
Currently Reading: Seize the Time by Bobby Seale (i mostly read non fiction so im boring lol but this is a great read esp if you need more knowledge of the black panthers which ofc more people do need)
Current Obsession: my sister is replaying Corpse Party for the first time in years since its spooky season and i havent thought about it since Corpse Party: Blood Drive came out (which was absolute garbage) so ive been thinking about all of it (the characters, the themes, how it could be improved, how i wish i could fight the creator bc hes such a creep (if you know the game and manga you know what im talking about), all that jazz)
tagging @littlesunshinedae @cxsmicmyeon @baldyeosang @chaelinsbitch @saintloey @his-mochi-cheeks @amaranth @queenrendezvous @jonginnation @colognedecigarette and ofc anyone else who wants to just say that i tagged you thats just who i thought of while im on break at work lol
#im also really on a monsta x binge atm so ig im obsessed with them but i always am so ig its just a lil more than usual#also whenever someone asks me for book recs i always have to preface that i dont read much fiction so id only rec non fiction#and most people are like oh nevermind lol#but yeah i like history and i like biographies (and autobiographies like the one im reading now) i know im boring ive always been like this#things that have happened irl have always interested me more than fantasy even as a little kid so#plus i was one of those nerds whos favorite subject was history so#but history can be so interesting if you look for those stories long enough#anyway enough of my rambling thank you for tagging me lol#if anyone is interested in the things ive listed here please send me an ask or a dm im always willing to talk about my interests#even if its non kpop related idc its my blog#okay im done lol#tag game
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Pangobooks Sale!
Buy some cheap used books and help me out!
#books#young adult books#fandoms#the outsiders#little women#women authors#used books#book sale#best sellers#cheap#textbooks#outer banks#summer reading list#Percy Jackson#the hunt#poetry#Edgar allen poe#fantasy#fiction#non-fiction#Alice in wonderland#shakespear#as you like it#Angels in America#George Orwell's 1984#1984#sci-fi#reading#artist#college
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Year of Lists
July Books
She a long one
I also left this so late, I don't remember much
The Trespasser by Tana French - don't remember anything about this, just that I enjoyed speeding through it. I think Tana French's work has that quality of quiet enjoyment to it. A small break from reality - so a 3*? (that's my goodreads rating anw)
Μαμά by Μαργαρίτα Καραπάνου *4.7/5 - this, I do remember. It's a quick read, much of Karapanou is; none of it is light and this one is darker and more complex than most. It's a melee of the writer's relationship with/memory of her mother. Vignettes, impressions, memories, snippets of a life lived, felt or imagined. Karapanou was a remarkable artist, and boy, could she weave a sentence.
I'm Not Here to Give a Speech by Gabriel García Márquez *4.5/5 - delightful; just a neat little collection of speeches. Isn't it funny how gifted some people are at things they don't really enjoy doing?
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang *5/5 - nothing to see here. Love all around. <3 <3
Tokyo Express by Seichō Matsumoto *3.5/5 - this was yummy. If you find oldish, matter-of-fact writing, noir-type police procedurals with limited but astute action delicious, this is for you.
Girl Goddess Queen by Bea Fitzgerald *4/5 - okay. Hear me out.
*sidenote* This is Lore Olympus in novel form. So much so that I wondered if Bea Fitzgerald wasn't a pen name for Rachel Smythe and vice versa.
--
Was it repetitive, occasionally annoyingly so? Yes. Did I think it could have benefitted from better editing? Yes. Did I obsess over it and think about the characters and the slow-burn romance of it all for at least a week? Yes. Did I buy Bea Fitzgerald's new novel a day into publication and can't wait to read it but I'm travelling a lot and didn't want to carry it cause it's huge? Yes. Did it make me hyperfixate on finding the epic romance of the decade - the century even, the book that makes your knees tremble, to no avail? Yes.
I loved this. I loved this so so much, flaws and all.
*sidenote, again* Madeline Miller rewriting Persephone too - would love to read that version
The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo - like a 3*. It's not something that sticks but it's readable and you do care when you're reading it. One thing I can say for certain, I was sure I wanted to read more Leigh Bardugo, and I have, since reading this, spent a lot of time on deciding what that'll be. (Six of Crows, probably this Autumn, early Winter)
Little Rot by Akwaeke Emezi *3.7/5 - It's a good narrative from a very talented writer/artist, whose work I've admired from the get-go and will continue to consume either til the end, or til the potentially inevitable decline. The .7 purely on talent.
These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - deets on this with the sequel which I read in August - and it's a lot
#the trespasser#tana french#margarita karapanou#mama#i'm not here to give a speech#gabriel garcia marquez#gabriel garcía márquez#american born chinese#gene luen yang#graphic novels#fiction#non-fiction#writers#thriller#literary fiction#ancient fiction#reimaginings#queer reimaginings#tokyo express#seicho matsumoto#girl goddess queen#bea fitzgerald#persephone#hades#romance#the familiar#leigh bardugo#fantasy#little rot#akwaeke emezi
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i hate the word girlie/ girly (noun) for absolutely no reason
#crunchyposts#if you like it thats completely fine do whatever you want just like. i cant say it myself or i die lol#something feels so wrong about it to me i cannot tell you why#instead of girlie id call myself like a guy. like if someone asked me are you a non fiction girly id say no im a sci-fi fantasy guy#just for example#idk i like guy to describe myself more i am simply just a little guy who enjoys things. however i call myself a girl and not a woman so#idk gender is weird im 99.9999% sure im cis but my pronouns have been Fucking with me
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could it be that the characters I love the most and have the desire to care for most + the oc's and stories I make for them are actually in some way an expression of some desire to care for myself and also to obtain care and comfort, thus giving it too the characters I see the most of myself in?
#not only could it be possible that is exactly what is happening#also a craving for non-familial male affection (not necessarily romantic just....affection I guess)#would explain why almost all my favourites are men#would also explain why fantasy and fiction have always felt so important too me#done a lot of deep thinking tonight#been doing a lot of prayer lately#its giving me a lot of thoughts and ideas about myself and making me feel more...#like an adult#to understand why i do things and be confident in it and be able to explain it#also I am running off so so little sleep and I can't help but overthink rn#but my overthinking is leaving me feeling satisfied instead of anxious#so i mean no harm no foul I guess#merkerler speaks#this is also once again me using tumblr as a diary#I have to dig out one of my journals so I can start a new one#a new part of my life is starting and I need to document the good thoughts that keep me from spiraling so I can go back and read them later
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OCTOBER 6TH — ELDRITCH!KÖNIG. Never in a million years would you expect to be held hostage by an intimidating monster, desperate to breed with a human like you.
2024 KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. (DAY 6) 🐙
(MONSTER-FUCKING, NON-CON, BREEDING)
You're valuable treasure to König. Lost at sea, left vulnerable surrounded by a group of haunting, hungry, and insatiable monsters that would do anything to own you. To them, humans are a fictional, fantasy creature, nothing more of the imagination. They had been dreaming of this, fantasising about owning something as rare and unique as you.
As König was the first to discover you, he claimed full ownership over you. His lengthy fingers wandered your shaking, limp, and barely conscious figure curiously as he hunched over your much smaller form, eagerly poking at you with curiosity and concern visible on his face. He chuckled at the fearful and horrified reactions you had, how you helplessly squirmed beneath him, your scratches barely having an effect on him. You were entertaining, a little toy simply for his enjoyment.
Your clothing stuck to your damp skin, as well as your hair did to your scratched face. You were delirious, feeling as if this was a lucid dream rather than your reality. The sight before you was horrifying, with thick and dripping tentacles coming from around the creature, slowly traveling over your supple skin. Your surroundings were unfamiliar and distant, nausea and confusion leaving you disoriented. When you attempted to flee, you'd stumble drunkenly, surrounded by a large body of water that you truly had no chance of surviving in.
He'd try to feed you the graphic and gory remains of old sailors that he'd purposely drowned, frowning at your visible disgust. You resented König. You despised the feeling of a shackle around your ankle, how you were held captive on this island only for his own sick and perverted enjoyment. But, you didn't have much of a choice after all. Your previous and failed attempts had resulted in stricter rules and boundaries, restricting you further of your freedom.
König had dreamt of mating with you. Disturbing creatures like himself already had their partners, and the curiosity inside of him was too much for him to ignore. His fingertips tugged at your thighs, prying them apart, slobbering all over you through desperation and depravity. His tentacles wrapped themselves around your ankles and biceps, with one slowly pushing down your tight throat to silence the aggravating whines that slipped from your lips. His grip was agonisingly firm, almost as if he was slowly cracking your bones, only intensifying when you wiggled and fought. You couldn't help but sob out as he slowly prepared you, dragging his slick and dripping tentacles across your slit, coating you in his murky and strange fluids. You whimpered, the dreadful sound of your weeping only antagonising König.
He could help himself, he was beyond desperate to relieve himself inside of you, fill you up with his beautiful offspring, hoping for you to mother and care for his children. He was unusually cruel, a frightening contrast to his gentle and sweet actions, how he coddled you and held you close every night, soothing you with his calm and loving humming. Now, he was practically tearing you in half, grumbling out incoherently as he rocked his broad, large hips back and forth. You choked on the tip of his growing tentacle, your folds wrapped tightly around his veiny shaft.
Oh, the other creatures would be so envious and jealous of König. You'll become the perfect breeding mate and mother, just wait, Mäuschen.
#orla speaks#cod x reader#könig call of duty#konig x reader#call of duty modern warfare#könig#könig x reader#könig cod#cod mw2#konig call of duty
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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
#ltleramblings#queer stuff#seriously the fandom fights are so exhausting#thank goodness for the block button#asexuality
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— summary: Rafe finds out about some of your darkest fantasies and decides to bring them to life.
— warnings: smut! 18+ non/dub con, kidnapping, rafe chases reader through the woods, bondage, open-mouth gag, breath play, edging, fingering, ass play, biting, forced blow job, knife play, forced unprotected sex, forced creampie, spitting, slapping, spanking, branding, hair pulling, choking, degrading, praise kink, sir kink, possessive!rafe, sub!reader, dark!rafe. (is this considered DDDNE?)
— note: my book series has sparked the DARKEST parts of my mind… please read all warnings carefully! this is a work of fiction! if you’re uncomfortable with anything in the warnings, DO NOT READ. DO NOT READ UNLESS 18+ !!
likes, comments + reblogs are appreciated <3
❥ run, little one— r.c
Y/N
“Run, little one! ‘Cause when I catch you, you’re going to wish I hadn’t”
Rafe’s voice booms through the dark woods, my pulse is racing, blood rushing to my ears, nothing but the sounds of my heavy breathing and ringing fill my ears. My eyes scan the length of the woods, I have no clue where I am, and i’m terrified, but i’m also soaked.
Thoughts of what Rafe would do to me when he catches me have my panties dripping with my arousal, pussy pulsing with need. It may be fucked up, but the fear of the unknown, the thought of the pain he’d bring me is what got me excited. The pure rush of adrenaline, not having a choice in anything, him being forceful and rough with me— it excited me.
The sound of a branch snapping behind me makes me gasp, my feet taking off through the woods again, running, hoping I can find anywhere to hide. I take a turn, thinking i’d finally lost him but a loud scream is ripped from my chest when I run into something hard, the impact knocking the breath out of me and making me fall right on my ass.
“Shhhh, don’t worry princess, ‘m gonna take good care of you” Rafe whispers in my ear.
I feel something slapped over my mouth, preventing me from screaming and then my vision goes black. My eyes rip open, realizing i’d been dreaming, but now i’m not. My face is covered by a black hood, duct tape over my lips, making unintelligible noises fall from me. I hear the sound of metal clanking, and Rafe roughly forces my arms behind my back, crossing them before slapping handcuffs on and tightening them so tight they pinch at the skin of my wrists.
Rafe lifts me from the bed and tosses me over his shoulder. I begin pounding at his back as best I could with my restrained fists, screaming into the duct tape, trying to fight for him to put me down, but it’s useless.
A harsh slap is landed across my ass cheek, exposed by the short sleep shorts i’d put on before my nap, making me whimper from the contact.
The sound of a door opening and closing makes me jump, the cool fall air hitting at my skin and sending goosebumps up my body. What is he doing? Where is he taking me? I was terrified, but I was also ashamed at how soaked I was, my pussy throbbing as he carried me outside and to God knows where.
I hear him open a car door, my body being tossed into the back seat before he slams the door shut and hopping into the driver seat.
I hear the truck pull out onto the road, the windows rolling down and letting the cold air slap at my bare skin. I try my best to roll onto my stomach in the seat, my handcuffed wrists pinned underneath my back uncomfortable and making me whine.
I try and shout through the tape some more, wanting answers as to what was going through Rafe’s mind, but my body sags into the backseats, remembering it’s useless, my mouth is literally taped shut.
“Don’t worry, little one. We’re gonna have some fun”
I whimper at his words as he turns the radio in his truck up, “Church” by Chase Atlantic the last thing I hear before my mind goes blank.
-
RAFE
I pull down the long and over grown driveway, the large cabin that’s sat abandoned for few years finally coming into view. I smirk to myself, my eyes glancing up into the rearview mirror to see Y/N laid still in the backseat. She’d finally stopped whimpering and squirming about thirty minutes into the drive, probably made herself pass out, she was exhausted, and I had woken her from her nap to have some fun.
My girl doesn’t know it, but i’ve been reading her dream journals, her diaries, getting an inside peek at her dark and dirty mind. My girl wants to be chased, wants to be bound and gagged, having any choice or control taken from her. She wants me to be forceful with her, she wants me to hurt her, make her cry, make her beg me to stop— when her mind and pussy are really begging me to continue.
She has no idea what I have in store for her tonight, and the thought of her whimpering, unable to see, speak, breathe, tell me no. It had my cock straining against the fabric of my jeans.
I pull the truck to a stop, shutting the engine off and hopping out to open the back seat door. “Time to wake up, little one. Let the fun begin” I whisper in her ear, the weight of my body pressing down on her bare legs.
She begins squirming in the seat, the sounds of her muffled cries filling my ears, blood rushing to my already painfully hard cock. She must have thought she was still dreaming this whole time, and waking up — completely stripped of her ability to see or speak — She must be terrified again, exactly how I want her.
I carefully scoop her body into my arms, her head and legs trashing from side to side as unintelligible noises fall past her lips. I walk us into the cabin, glancing around at everything i’d set up, i’d been planning this for weeks, getting everything i’d need to have some fun with my girl. There’s a large mattress sitting on a metal bed frame pushed against the wall, laid out on it are ropes, an open-mouth gag, a silky red blindfold, various toys, and a long paddle whip that has the word WHORE engraved into it.
Smirking to myself, I continue walking through the old cabin and out the back door. When I finally decide we’re far enough into the woods, I set her body down on the ground, removing the black hood from her head and yanking the duct tape from her lips.
Her eyes rip open, going wide as she whips her head around, taking in her surroundings. “R-Rafe? Where- Where are we? Why did you fucking kidnap me?!” She shouts, a small look of fear in her eyes.
I smirk, “You’ll get a five minute head start, little one” I pause, watching in amusement as her chest heaves up and down, my eyes scanning over her plump breasts as they threaten to spill out of the small top she’s wearing. “Hope you can run fast, and hide well. Because if I catch you, you’re mine to use however I want”
She begins struggling to stand, her wrists still cuffed behind her back making a fairly simple task more difficult. I watch her struggle for a moment before I bend over and grip the inside of her left arm, jerking her to her feet. She winces when rocks and twigs begin stabbing at the bottoms of her bare feet, “Rafe! This isn’t funny, undo the cuffs, I wanna go home”
“Now, now Y/N.. I’ve read your dream journals, your diaries. I know all of the sick and twisted dreams and thoughts you have. I know exactly what you want me to do to you, why should I deprive you of what you want?”
Her eyes nearly pop out of her head, her face turning a deep shade of red, shame taking over her features when she hears the words that slip past my lips. I take a step toward her, and she flinches back, but it doesn’t stop me. I reach my hand out, the pad of my thumb running over her mascara stained cheek, “No need to be ashamed, we all have our kinks baby” I pause, placing my hand on the back of her head and pulling her forehead into my lips, kissing softly at the skin before I pull back and whisper, “Now run”
-
Y/N
“Now run”
His words make my heart begin hammering in my chest, my body turning as I begin running through the dark woods. I’m dodging trees, trying not to scream out in pain as twigs, and rocks and God knows what else stabs at the bottom of my feet.
My ears begin ringing, my head throbbing when I come to a stop, trying my hardest to catch my breath. My head whips from side to side, trying to find anywhere to hide, but all I see if acres and acres of woods. The sound of a twig snapping close by makes me take off running again, I run and run, afraid to stop. I shouldn’t be so turned on, but I am. Part of me wants to get caught, wants to let him use me however he pleases, but the smallest part inside me that says to keep running wins.
I come to another stop after what felt like hours of running, my back pressed against a tree. My throat is sore, lips and mouth dry from my heavy breathing. I peek around the side of the tree, but all I see if darkness. I let out a sigh of relief thinking i’d lost him for the time being, but that thought is quickly gone when I feel rough hands grabbing the backs of my arms, twisting them in an uncomfortable way, making me scream out in pain.
“Caught you” I hear Rafe say, voice low and raspy.
I begin kicking and screaming, trying to push myself out of his grip, but it’s no use, he’s got me in a tight hold. He lifts my feet from the ground, tossing me over his shoulder as he begins walking through the woods. I don’t stop fighting, my body thrashing in his hold. “Rafe! Rafe stop!” I shout, but he ignores me, continuing his way through the woods until he finally comes to a stop.
“Time to have some fun, yeah?” He asks. He lands a harsh slap across my ass again, making me whimper from the contact, the sting his hand left behind making my pussy throb.
He walks us up some stairs, and into an old house. The house smells musty, the air stale, and the floors are covered in leaves and trash. “Where are we?” I ask softly, voice barely above a whisper.
“This, little one, is our playroom” He says simply, tone of voice void of any emotion.
I let my eyes trail upward, finding a large bed on a metal frame pushed against a wall. My heart begins pounding, the loud thump of my own heart the only noise I can hear in the moment. He has the bed laid out with ropes, a wooden paddle, a few toys, an open-mouthed gag, and a red blindfold.
My mind tells me I should be afraid, but my body doesn’t react that way. My nipples harden underneath the thin fabric of my small shirt i’d tossed on earlier, panties now soaked, likely dripping with my arousal.
Rafe uses one hand to tightly wrap around the underside of my knees, keeping me in place on his shoulder while his free hand begins moving the things on the bed, clearing an open space for me to be laid down.
Once satisfied with the now open space on the bed, he flips me off his shoulder and onto the bed, my still handcuffed wrists pinning beneath me on the bed, making me wince in pain. I watch him intently as he makes his way toward a small table that’s off to the corner, grabbing the rope he’d just removed from the bed.
He makes his way to the end of the bed, grabbing my right ankle and tying the rope around it before securing the other end to one end of the metal bed frame, moving to my left ankle and repeating his actions. Satisfied with my bound ankles, he digs into his pocket, digging out a key that I can only assume belongs to the cuffs that restrain my wrists. He grips my by the top of my head, fingers tightly fisting at my hair and yanking me into a sitting position, sticking the key into the lock of the cuffs and undoing them.
I bring them to the front of my body to rub them. they’re now red and sore from how tightly he had them on my wrists, but he quickly pushes me onto my back, “don’t get too comfortable, little one” he says, a smirk plastered on his beautiful face while he climbs on top of me, straddling my waist. He harshly grabs my left wrist, pulling it above my head and reaching over to the table to grab the other set of rope he had. He pins my wrist against another metal bar, tying my wrist to it before moving to my right side and copying his actions.
He climbs off of me, his bottom lip between his teeth as his darkened over eyes scan my body. “Fucking gorgeous” He whispers, and my body jerks. I instinctively try and yank my wrists down, making the rope dig into them, making me pathetically whimper.
Rafe walks back over toward the table, pulling his tightly fitted black shirt over his head and tossing it down. I can’t help but let my eyes trail over his perfectly sculpted chest and abdomen. He grabs the open mouthed gag off the table before slowly making his way back over to me. I try and fight my restraints again, but stop when he harshly grips at the back of my head, yanking my neck up and forcing my eyes on the ceiling.
“Don’t fight this, princess. Okay?”
I whimper out an “okay” before he lets my head go, my neck returning back to a normal forward facing position. He brings his fingers to my slightly parted lips, pushing them inside my mouth and down my throat, making me gag around the thick digits before he pulls them out. “Keep your mouth open”
I obey, keeping my mouth open as wide as I could get it while he places the circular part of the gag into my mouth and behind my teeth. He pulls both sides of the leather straps around my head, buckling it together and tightening it so it’s secure. He pulls back and admires his work, my mouth spread wide open, hands and legs bound to the bed frame, spread open wide for him to use.
“Perfect” He says, the corners of his lips pulling into a smirk.
-
RAFE
The sight before me is like something straight out of my dreams. She looks so fucking gorgeous like this, her arms and legs tied to the bed frame, spread wide open for me to use, her mouth gagged, but still open wide for me, allowing me access to shove my cock down her throat, spit into her mouth, shove my fingers into her throat. I trail my eyes from her beautiful face down to her glistening cunt, she’s fucking soaked for me, ready to be fucking used.
I climb myself onto the bed, her arms and legs jerking, pulling the ropes tighter into her smooth skin. Drool is running from her mouth, down her chin and onto her plump breasts, whimpers and whines falling from her as she continues to try and fight the restraints.
“Keep fighting Y/N/N, I want you scared. I prefer it actually, it’ll make forcing my cock down your throat and in your cunt that much more fun”
I reach over onto the small side table and grab the blindfold, the sounds of her whimpers bouncing off the walls of the old cabin, making my hard cock pulse. I crawl up the bed, sitting between her spread thighs and bringing the blindfold up to her face. She whines, shaking her head from side to side, but I grip her cheeks harshly with my left hand. “Stay still” I demand, and she quickly obeys, stopping her movements, her beautiful, wide eyes staring back into mine.
I quickly place the silky material over her eyes, bringing the two ends around the back of her head and tying it as tightly as I could.
Her breathing picks up, chest heaving up and down rapidly once i’ve taken away her sight once again. I smirk to myself and reach into my back pocket, pulling out my phone and turning the back camera toward her trembling body, snapping a quick picture of her before locking it and tossing it to the table.
I reach into my other back pocket, pulling out a pocket knife and flipping it open. I hear her whimper at the sound of the knife opening, her arms jerking downward some more as she spews unintelligible words from her drooling lips. I bring the blade down to her inner thigh, running it up the length of her leg until it reaches her clothed pussy. “Let’s get these off, yeah?” I say lowly before bringing the blade to one of the leg holes of her shorts, slicing upward until the material pools by the sides of her legs.
My eyes find her cunt again, staring at the wet spot that’s soaked through the pink lacey material. “My girls fucking soaked, you like having no control?”
She whines, her head slowly nodding. I bring the blade back up to the waistband of her panties, running the sharp end across her stomach before I cut her panties off of her body as well. I tap at her thigh, ordering her, “Lift your hips, little one”
She quickly does as I say, lifting her hips as best she could off the mattress, allowing me to pull the now ruined shorts and panties from underneath her. Tossing the shredded material to the floor, I bring the blade back to her pussy, flipping it so the blade is in my palm. I run the handle of the pocket knife through her slick cunt, running it up to her clit and applying a small amount of pressure. Her hips buck forward and I take my free hand, pushing her hips back down and holding her in place. I run the handle back down to her folds, slowly pushing it into her pussy, stopping when the entire handle is inside of her.
She begins whimpering, her chest heaving and head rolled to the side as I begin pulling the handle from her cunt, pushing it back inside of her just as quickly. I love the way her body reacts to me, the way she’s letting me fuck her with the handle of my knife, my filthy fucking girl loves this shit.
I continue to fuck her with the handle of the knife and her body begins shaking, her legs tensing as her restrained fists ball above her head. “That’s it baby, let it out, cum all over the handle of my knife”
She begins panting, drool running down the sides of her mouth and down her chin, soaking her chest as she comes undone, her cum soaking the handle. I slowly pull it from inside her, bringing it to her open mouth and shoving it inside, running it up and down the length of her tongue, coating her mouth with her juices. “Good girl. Taste yourself, you did such a good job f’me, little one”
I pull the handle from her mouth, her head flying forward and chasing it, making me breathe out a laugh. I quickly flip the knife shut and sit it on the small table. I stand from the bed, and my hands pop the button of my jeans before moving the the zipper. I slide the rough material down my legs and to my ankles before kicking them to the side. I palm myself through my boxers, trying to relieve some of the pressure I felt from just staring at her like this, thinking of how she just came from the handle of my knife, it has my head spinning, my cock throbbing.
I shake my head, shoving my boxers down my legs and kicking them to the side as well before climbing back into the bed, her breath hitching in her throat when she feels my presence on the mattress again. I bring my hand to her face, wiping at the fresh tears that have fallen down her face, smearing more of her mascara on her face. I run the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip, it’s soaked in her drool. I push my thumb into her mouth, and she instinctively tries to close her lips around it, but fails, the metal part of the gag keeping her mouth open wide for me.
I lean myself into her, my lips ghosting over the shell of her ear. “‘M gonna fuck your throat now, little one, and you’re going to fucking love it”
-
Y/N
His words whispered in my ear send goosebumps down my body, my more breathing erratic than it had already been. I try and swallow, but fail, the gag in my mouth making it difficult to do anything but drool all over myself. He’s barely touched me, and I can guarantee I look like a fucked out mess.
I feel his hand on my cheek again, his waist now straddling my chest as he runs his thumb over the length of my face and lips. He shoves two fingers down my throat again, holding them there as I gag around them. Pulling them from my throat, he demands, “Stick your tongue out” and I quickly obey, sticking my tongue out for him. I feel him spit into my mouth, the saliva hitting the flat of my tongue, and sliding into the back of my throat. I bring my tongue back into my mouth, and wince when I feel a harsh smack landed across my face.
“I didn’t say you could do anything, tongue back out. Now” Rafe says, tone harsh and demanding. I quickly push my tongue back out, the swollen head of his cock slapping against it as he groans.
I feel him slide his head into my mouth slowly and he moans, the feel of the circular metal part of the gag in my mouth squeezing at him tightly. He continues to push himself further into my mouth until he finally reaches the back of my throat, his swollen tip kissing the back of my throat making me gag. Saliva pools in my mouth, drool running down the sides of my lips when he begins slowly pulling himself back out, slamming his hips forward again. I gag around him, trying to swallow the saliva in my mouth, but I can’t, the gag makes it hard to do anything.
He places one hand on my cheek, his free hand moving to the back of my head and gripping at my hair, his grip tight and bruising. He quickly settles on a harsh and quick pace of his hips, pulling himself back and slamming his pelvis into my face. My mouth is forced open wide for him, allowing him to fuck my throat with ease. He begins grunting loudly, his hips stuttering before he quickly pulls his hips back, spit flying from my mouth as I cough and gasp, trying to catch my breath.
“Goddamn. You took me so well, such a good fucking girl…” He rasps, his left hand finding my cheek, stroking down the soft skin. He takes his free hand and brings it between my legs, running his fingers through my arousal slick folds, sucking in a sharp breath when he feels just how soaked I am.
“You’re soaked, sweetheart. You like being forced to do things? Like having your body used?”
I whimper at his words, every single one of them were true. I hated my body for reacting to such vile things, such forceful and disgusting behavior, but I couldn’t help it. Was there something wrong with me? Surely it’s not normal to get aroused at the thought of — or the action itself — being used, hurt, given no choice in the matter. But I could no longer deny it, my body craved the unknown, craved the fear and the pain, I wanted to be used, forced to do whatever he wanted me to do. I loved being his good girl, and I loved being his whore.
Rafe reaches behind my head, fingers grabbing at the buckle that strapped the gag to my face. He quickly undoes it and pulls the straps down the sides of my face before reaching inside my mouth and pulling the circular metal part out. I snap my mouth shut, swallowing thickly and licking at my lips. My jaw and throat hurt, but it was well worth it.
He leaves me blindfolded, but I feel his hands moving to the rope that bound my legs to the bed. I hear his pocket knife flip open, the ropes being cut from my ankles and allowing me the slightest bit of freedom. He moves to cut my wrists free next, but before he does, he orders me, “Don’t move, i’ll reposition you, alright?”
I nod my head, forgetting I have the freedom to speak now. His fingers tightly grip at my cheeks, squeezing them tightly and I feel tears begin to fill my eyes, “When I speak to you, you answer me. Got it?”
“Y-Yes, sir” I manage to choke out, my fresh tears finally falling and soaking into the blindfold.
He finally cuts the ropes that bound my wrists, my arms falling limp by my sides. I quickly bring them up, rubbing softly at the skin of my wrists, trying to ease the pain i’d felt, but the action is short lived, a high pitched squeal emitting from me when Rafe yanks me from my sitting position, tossing me onto my stomach.
-
RAFE
“Hands behind your back, knees underneath your stomach” I demand, and she quickly does as I ask. She places her arms behind her back and crosses them over one another before she brings her knees up and tucks them underneath her stomach, letting her ass sit up in the air, giving me a perfect view of her soaked cunt and puckered ass.
I land a harsh slap to her ass, leaving a perfect handprint on the skin and causing her to cry out from the sting. I smirk to myself before I reach over and grab the cuffs again, placing the first cuff on her right wrist and locking it tightly in place, moving on to her left and doing the same. I smile once I have her wrists tightly locked in place, moving to grab the now cut rope from the bed and placing on the undersides of her ankles, wrapping it around a few times before pulling it up the underside of her body and through the chains of the cuffs. I pull the excess rope back down to her ankles and tie them tightly together, making it to where her cuffed wrists are bound together with her tied ankles.
“You look so goddamn beautiful like this” I say while my hand lands another harsh slap to her ass. My hands fly to her ass, gripping the plump flesh tightly and spreading her cheeks for me. I gather saliva in my mouth and spit down onto her untouched hole, moving my thumb to it and rubbing at it slowly, spreading my spit around. I slowly shove my thumb into her ass, making her hiss. “R-Rafe?” She cries out, her body rocking back and forth as I slowly push my thumb in and out of her.
“You want me to fuck your ass baby? Hmm? Would you like me to claim this hole too?”
She whimpers, her body tightening as she tries to fight her restraints. I pull my thumb from her ass and run my index and middle finger through her cunt, she’s soaked. “You’re so wet, princess. I think you want me to fuck your ass” I tease, before saying “But that’ll be another time. ‘M gonna stretch your ass in time, make it ready for my cock. For now, ‘m gonna fuck this sweet cunt, and you’re gonna take it”
“R-Rafe… Please?” She begs, the sound of her sweet, pathetic voice makes my cock throb. I run my fingers through her slick cunt again, pushing them inside of her and scissoring them to stretch her open. I begin pushing them in and out of her slowly, adding a third to stretch her more. Her body begins rocking back and forth, fucking herself onto my fingers, “That’s it baby, fuck my fingers, show me how badly you want me”
Weak whimpers and moans fall from her lips as she continues rocking her hips, fucking herself onto my fingers. I feel her pussy clamp down around them, her body tensing as she’s about to cum and I quickly remove them from inside her.
She whines at the loss of my fingers, “Rafe. Please?” She begs, and I let out a dark laugh. “Please what? Gotta tell me what you want, princess”
I hear her sniffle, “Want to cum, please? Let me cum” I slide my tongue across my top teeth and smile to myself, “Well, since you asked so nicely” I grip the base of my cock, stroking it a few times before pushing it inside of her wet cunt. I groan, throwing my head back when I feel her warm, wet walls grip my cock tightly.
She’s whimpering, unintelligible words falling from her beautiful mouth as I continue to fuck into her. She tries to fight the restraints again, body thrashing every time the head of my cock hits at her sweet spot. I lean my body forward, pressing my weight into her back as I slowly pull out, slamming my hips forward again and making her cry out.
I slap my hand over her mouth to muffle her cries, her tears falling down her face and onto my hand has my dick twitching, but I try and hold out. “‘M gonna take your air away now baby, try not to pass out on me” I whisper in her ear before my index finger and thumb pinch over her nose. She begins fighting me and her restraints hard, trying to fight my hand that’s over her mouth and pinching her nose closed, but I wrap my free hand around her waist, hand splayed across her stomach and hold her still.
Her pussy pulses around my cock, making me growl in her ear, “Fuck, you’re cunt is squeezin’ me so tightly baby, lack of oxygen turns you on?”
I chuckle when I hear her mumble into my hand, leaning my head down to her shoulder and sinking my teeth into her smooth skin. She stops fighting, her body growing weak from the lack of oxygen. Her pussy clenches around me tightly, her body beginning to go slack in my arms and I release my hand from her face. Her head shoots up, the sounds of her coughing and gasping for air bouncing off the walls.
“You did so good, little one. So good. Cum all over my cock and we can go home” I whisper in her ear, my teeth nibbling at her lobe. She lets out a loud, pornographic moan while her pussy clamps down on my dick, her body tensing and toes curling as she comes undone around me.
I pull myself back once more, slamming myself inside her while my dick twitches inside of her, my cum shooting inside of her and painting her inner walls white. I slowly thrust myself in a few more times, shoving my cum deep inside her cunt before I slowly pull out. I watch my cum slowly drip from her cunt before I drop to my back on the bed, chest heaving as I try and catch my breath.
Rolling my head to the side, I take in her exhausted body, limp and breathing heavily. I grab my pocket knife from the table, cutting at the rope around her ankles before cutting it free from around the chains of the cuffs. I toss my knife to the side, grabbing the key and undoing the cuffs, removing them and tossing them to the side as well. I scoop her limp body into my arms, running a hand across her cheek before using my free hand to pull the blindfold up and off her head.
Her eyes spring open, blinking a few times to try and adjust to the dark room. Her beautiful eyes find my blue ones and she weakly smiles up at me, making my pulse race and heart hammer in my chest. She’s always been so beautiful, but something about her fucked out look, mascara stained cheeks and heavy eyes has me falling more in love with her.
I lie her body onto the mattress, placing a soft kiss on her sweat slick forehead before standing and grabbing my boxers from the floor. I pull them up my legs and rush out to the truck, having one more thing I want to do before we go home, one thing that will let her, and everyone else know she’s mine, forever.
I open up the driver side door, grabbing the blow torch and tongs from the passenger seat and rushing back inside. I find her lying still on the bed, the sound of her even breathing filling my ears, and for a moment, I almost feel guilty that i’m about to wake her up again.
I slowly walk toward her, sitting on the bed, my weight making it dip in. “Baby, wake up. There’s one more thing to do, and then i’ll take you home and take care of you”
Her heavy eyes slowly open, blinking a few times before she whimpers, “Please, Rafe. I can’t. No more” I smirk to myself, she thinks i’m going to fuck her again, but no, no what i’m about to do will be more permanent than anything I can ever give her with my cock.
“‘S okay baby, just gonna do something to remind you and everyone else who you belong to, then we’ll go home” I whisper before quickly lighting the blow torch up. Her head shoots up off the mattress, eyes wide as she shakes her head from side to side. I remove my gold signet ring with my initials on it, and grab the circular end with the tongs, sticking the bulky end that rests on the top of my finger under the blue flame.
“Rafe, what’re you doing?” She asks, her voice shaking as her eyes dart from the ring under the flame to me. The corners of my lips lift up in a grin, “Marking you. You’re mine, and everyone will know it”
I use my free hand to reach over and grab a piece of rope from the floor, handing it to her and ordering her, “Bite down on this”
She hesitates, but ultimately does what I ask, placing the rough material between her teeth and biting down on it harshly. Once I feel like i’ve held the ring under the flame long enough, I shut off the torch and sit it at my feet. I turn my body to face her, and her eyes are swimming in unshed tears, “It’ll only hurt for a second” I tell her, and her head slowly nods up and down.
I spread her legs with my free hand, slapping harshly at her inner thigh before I bring the hot ring to her skin. She cries out in pain, body shaking as I hold the end of my gold ring to her skin. Her body goes slack, tears rolling down her cheeks when I pull it from her skin. I can’t help the large smile that spreads across my face when I look down and see a perfectly shaped small square with the letter “RC” branded into her soft skin.
Her body is still shaking, tears falling uncontrollably down her cheeks as she lets out choked sobs. I quickly stand and dress myself before tossing the hoodie of mine i’d brought over her weak body, lifting her into my arms and carrying her out to the truck.
I runs hand through her sweat slick hair, pushing it back from her face as I lean forward and press my lips to her forehead, “I love you, Y/N. You’re mine, now and forever. Let’s get you home and cleaned up”
She lets out a soft whimper, her face buried into my chest as she manages to whisper, “I love you too”
RAFE TAGLIST: @rafeism @thelomlisrafecameron @rafegirly @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @lizcameron @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @abbybarnesstuff @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @jade-is-jaded @lexasaurs634 @lyndys @presleyanswrites @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @sugarcoatedstarkey @skyesthebomb @nirvanaissogood @stvrkey @vhour @emma77645 @rafeinterlude @superlegend216 @mannstarkey @digitaldiary111 @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @atorturedpoetx @carolinaxvz @maybankslover @cantstoptherecs @pradabambie @slut4ani @kamninaries
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#ddne#rafe cameron#dark!rafe x reader#dark!rafe#major trigger warnings#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe x you#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron brainrot#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#smut warning#dark smut
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»»--【Caught】--««
♔Pairing | Kakashi x Fem!Reader ♔Content | Breeding, Edging, Slight Humiliation, Oral (m+f!receiving), Body Worship, Overstimulation, Breeding, Masturbation, Cumplay, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Cervix Mention, Slight Dacryphilia, Deepthroating, Pet names (Kakashi calls you Princess), Kakashi and reader take turns being the dominant one. 99% Kakashi POV except a few scenes, reader is a powerful ninja and Kakashi uses that to fuel his fantasies, Use of “you” to describe reader, no Y/N mention, Kakashi has a big dick and you choke on it, not beta read, seriously this is insanely filthy and has very little plot/non-sex scenes ♔Word Count | 11k (sorry i was ovulating) ♔Synopsis| Kakashi decides to have some fun on his day off. You decide to have the worst timing in the world to visit him. Things go terribly wrong for him from there. And then go terribly right.
Kakashi was not a pure man. Everyone knew that, himself included. The blood he spilled and his cruel nicknames a reminder of that. But this current state of impurity he was partaking in was really taking the cake.
Getting called a pervert for reading erotica fiction was one thing, but if people knew what he thought about behind closed doors he was pretty sure he'd be on the chopping block next to Jiraiya.
He sighs as he releases his hardened cock from his hand. His thighs twitching from the pressure he had just built up. Everything in his body was thrumming with desperation to release but Kakashi had been practicing enough today to prevent himself the satisfaction of cumming from this particularly taxing masturbation session. If he counted, it would have been the fourth time he had teased himself out of an orgasm today and the high he was feeling was euphoric.
He couldn't help himself, especially with you away on a lengthy mission. Over the few years he had gotten to know you through his genin team you had managed to worm your way into his heart, and he would rather die than let you know that. However, his long term crush on you had bubbled inside his chest while you were away and early this morning after confirming he had nothing to do today he had started to imagine how you would be underneath him. Railing into your warm heat as you babble his name with tears stinging your eyes from the intense pleasure.
He would kiss the tears away as he pounds harshly into you, reaching impossibly deep inside your cunt, hitting all the right places to make you a mess for him. He wanted to fuck you full of his cum so badly, your legs resting on his shoulders as he folds you in half to make sure his seed takes.
Kakashi's imagination drifts off to another fantasy to start himself up again, you sitting politely between his legs, panting like a dog in heat as you nuzzle against his inner thigh and paw at his cock. A pretty collar with your name bedazzled on it and his name engraved on the back. Just so everyone knew who you belonged to.
With the fantasy solidified in his head, Kakashi slowly slides his hands down his naked chest, teasing himself with gentle touches he would prefer to be giving you. His breath hitches slightly as one hand finally reaches his cock while the other rests comfortably on his inner thigh.
He moves slowly, up and down, smearing some of his pre-cum over his hyper sensitive cock to get himself slick enough for his next session. He imagines you rubbing your cheek against his dick, asking if you have permission to suck it for him. He takes the hand on his inner thigh and moves to cup his balls, teasing them as he fucks his other hand.
He hadn't known how great edging would feel but the thought of releasing all of his built up spend into your waiting mouth is too much for him. He's positive this will be the last time today, he's about to explode from pleasure. He swears he'll have to find time to do this again, god it feels good.
A sudden knock on his front door halts all thoughts. The pleasure he was indulging in suddenly feels dirty as he’s astutely aware of himself lying in his bed, all clothes off as he strokes himself to near completion. He’s sweaty and over stimulated and now an uneasy feeling of guilt starts to sit uncomfortably in his lower gut. Who could possibly be here? Gai was gone with you on your mission and everyone else wouldn't dare bother him on his one day off.
Unless….oh no.
He hurriedly puts on some clothes, sweatpants that do nothing to hide his throbbing erection and his mask and tank-top combo. He’s far too sensitive, the tight shirt rubbing against his chest a stark reminder of how horny he currently is.
He hears the knocking again along with an all too familiar voice that definitely should not be in Konoha right now.
He places his lower half behind the door and cracks it open very slightly to get a peak at his worst nightmare come true.
“Hey!”
No.
“Hey, you're back early.”
Why are you back early?
You stand behind the door, hands closed behind your back as you rock back and forth on the balls of your feet. You’re still in uniform, compression shorts hugging your thighs and slightly riding up. It's unreasonably attractive with how horny he is and his cock twitches against his sweats. He shifts to try and stop his dick from rubbing against the fabric but it only makes the situation worse. You look up to meet him in the eyes and you are far too excited to see him.
Kakashi knows he's unlucky but this situation is a new level of unfortunate embarrassment. Jacking off to someone only to have them suddenly appear at his door? If you two were dating this would be an entirely different story but right now you're looking up at him with a bright smile, completely oblivious to the filthy thoughts he had just been conjuring up about you. He feels guilty. And incredibly horny.
“Ya, the mission went off without a hitch, working with Gai and Yamato made things pretty easy. Those two are pretty talented when they aren't talking my ear off.”
Kakashi's eye twitches, just hearing Gai’s and Tenzo’s names come out of your mouth when he was so close to cumming makes some of his lust addled brain simmer a bit. The last thing he wants to do right now is picture those two with you. Alone. For an entire week. Probably sharing a bed, clothes thrown everywhere, cuddling for warmth…
He inhales loudly.
You tilt your head to the side as Kakashi remains silent, staring down at you with one eye. God you’re so cute…
“Kakashi, is everything okay? You look a little sweaty?” You take a step towards him to place a hand on his forehead but he flinches back. If you touch him at all he thinks he might explode. The last thing he needs is to cum in his pants in front of you. You might never speak to him again if he does.
Kakashi knows he's sweating profusely and the way his pants rub against his cock is not helping his worsening situation. He has to make you leave as soon as possible so he can get rid of his problem for good. He was never edging himself this long again.
Kakashi moves to close the door, “Sorry, I'm fine. I think I may just be a bit under the weather is all. You should g-”
You stick a foot between the door to stop him from closing it on you. “What? How did you get sick? Are you okay? Do you have food? Medicine? Is it from chakra exhaustion?”
Kakashi groans, the only sick he feels is love sick and he needs you gone so he can deal with it. He should have known you would be too concerned to let it go at that. You were too nice to him. His cock twitches.
He pushes back on the door slightly, “I'm fine, really, I think I just need to sleep it off.”
You pout at his insistence before pushing your way in. Kakashi is too horny to fully fight back so all he can do is muffle a moan as he shifts to hide his hard on.
“You're too hard on yourself Kakashi, it's okay to let others take care of you sometimes.”
What he wouldn't give for you to take care of him right now, but as he watches you make your way into his kitchen the last remnants of his sanity are screaming at him to get you out of his apartment.
“Uhh, ya sure. If you insist on taking care of me I'm just going to…go to bed…”
Smooth one Hatake. He hears you hum in response and he makes a dash for his bedroom and slams the door shut. He tears away at his shirt and mask before shoving a hand down his pants to relieve some of the built up tension. He moans a little too loudly as his hand squeezes his dick and he prays you didn't hear it.
He moves to his bed and ducks under the covers as quickly as possible. He grabs a tissue from the shelf above his bed and wraps it around the base of his cock as he strokes himself. He isn't sure how long he has until you enter his room but he needs to take care of this as fast as possible to save whatever little face he has left. He just prays you knock before you enter.
Tragically, the fear he has that you'll enter his room while he's jerking off, and his desperation to cum has the opposite effect and no matter how hot he feels or how tight the burning coil in his stomach gets he can't bring himself to find relief. He almost wants to cry from how embarrassing this entire thing is, he's a grown adult man who has killed people for goodness sake what is he doing?
He slows down his ministrations as he tries to come up with a solution. If he was a third party to this situation the answer would be obvious, but he's too horny and pent up to think straight and he needs whatever solution will work the fastest.
He realizes he may just have to tough it out until you leave. At least with his excuse of being sick, his red face, sweat, and heavy breathing will make sense. If he stays under the covers he won't have to worry about hiding his raging erection either.
Then he can hop in the shower and run it ice cold to cool himself off. Wait, the shower. Of course! You wouldn't dare to barge in on him while he's showering so surely-
There's a knock on his door. He groans loudly, the chance he had to make a dash for his bathroom long gone. You open the door slowly with a plate and bowl balanced in one hand. You glance down to the side and he watches your face flush. He mentally face palms as he realizes all of his clothes you saw him wearing are now thrown all over his bedroom floor. God he's so stupid when it comes to you.
Trying to ignore the fact you now know he's stark naked under the covers, he shifts a knee up to hide any chance of his erection showing under his covers and he gives a slight wave as he balances the blanket above his nose.
“Sorry, it was really hot so-”
You shake your head and let out a nervous laugh, “No-no it's okay! It's your home after all. Whatever makes you comfortable so you can feel better!” You give him an awkward smile that puts him on edge as you place the dishes on his desk.
He wonders if you can smell his arousal with how close you are. He had been at it for hours before you showed up, surely the sweat, pre-cum and lotion he was using is permeating the air around you. He was never letting himself live this moment down.
Imagine, the Copy Ninja, Kakashi of the Sharingan; world renowned, revered as one of the strongest ninja in Konoha; one of the best strategists alive. And here he was. Completely nude in his own bed while his crush stares awkwardly between him and his food as his throbbing hard on bounces against his stomach and thigh.
He feels himself getting dizzy from over stimulation and he needs you to leave fast. He lifts himself slightly off his bed to address you more properly. “Thank you for the food. You just got back and you're taking care of me. I don't deserve you-” He corrects himself. “Your kindness.”
He peaks up at you with one eye only to see you completely flushed red with your eyes wide open. Kakashi looks down quickly in fear that his blanket has revealed his true problem but no, the blanket fell down just to his stomach, the fabric bunching up enough to hide everything except his chest and-
Oh no.
He had peeled off his mask in his lust induced daze, and you had never been privy to see his face.
Was your reaction good? Kakashi had been told before that he was an attractive man, and the few times people had seen his face outside of friends only confirmed that fact. He wasn't stupid or humble enough to deny it. Did you find him attractive?
He chances looking up at you again to observe your reaction only to see you frozen in place. One hand slightly wavers as it points hesitantly towards his face. Your mouth is hung open, a strangled jumble of noises quietly emanating from it as your face becomes redder and redder.
He needs to get you out and now here you are, turned to stone at the sight of his face. If he had known how strong your reaction would have been he'd have yanked it down in front of you ages ago. He can’t help but feel extremely flattered, this was certainly the best reaction surrounding his face he had received to date.
With you not moving and your face beet red, he decides to take a chance, “You like what you see?”
Your mouth snaps shut and you hum out in embarrassment. You turn away with your eyes shut, “I- god- I don't-”
He smirks at your stuttering, maybe he could turn this around. He didn't hope that by the end of this he'd be balls deep inside you but he might be able to steer it in that direction for the future.
Still staring away from him you manage to stutter out a reply, “I was curious why you always wore that mask, but now I know. It's so people will leave you alone. You're absolutely gorgeous Kakashi.”
Or maybe the porn he read rotted his brain enough to think he ever had a chance to be as smooth as the male leads in his books; your response stopps him dead in his tracks. He had been called a lot of things in his life but gorgeous was not one of them. It stirs something deep within him and it’s not just his cock begging for your attention.
He tries to salvage the situation back into his favour but ultimately fails when nothing but the words “fuck me fuck me fuck me” keep chanting over in his head. God I’m a loser.
You manage to recover enough to drag his desk chair over to his bed and place the two dishes on top of it for him to reach easily. It's a simple sandwich and a bowl of soup. You huff as he eyes the meal, “I didn't have a lot of time so the soup is a little bland but it should still help. I eat it myself when I'm sick so no judgment okay?”
You aren't able to look him in the eyes. He watches as you make repeated attempts to take a peak at his face, whether to memorize it or just out of pure shock he isn't sure but he hopes it’s the former. Maybe you think of him when you’re alone at night and this could fuel your own fantasies. He holds out hope that that’s the case.
Kakashi carefully reaches over to ensure the blanket doesn’t move any further and grabs the sandwich. Maybe food will help calm him down enough until you leave. He goes to take a bite but he hears you gasp as soon as he opens his mouth.
He pauses, mouth still wide open, and glances up at you. One hand is covering your mouth while the other is clenching itself at your side. He lowers the sandwich down just enough for you to see his full face, “Something wrong?”
You shake your head quickly, denying that anything is wrong. Your silence and your beet red face say otherwise. Kakashi is almost worried you’re holding your breath.
He goes back to taking a bite only to hear you gasp again.
“Sorry!” You squeak out. He glances at you, both hands now covering your mouth. “I just…your canines are so…pronounced! Sharp!”
Kakashi observes your reaction. A net positive, he thinks.
“Mah, they were a pain as a child. Used to bite myself by accident. Got them from my paternal side.”
You look bewildered at how easily he brings up such a private thing about himself. He tries to convey through his expression that he would tell you everything if it means you'd reciprocate his feelings.
He finally manages to take a bite of the sandwich you prepared, acutely aware of your staring. He wants to melt into his bed. What had he done to deserve this. Admittedly he hadn't eaten in a while but that was because he had spent the better part of his day masturbating to thoughts of you. And now here you were forcing a sandwich and soup down his throat when he should have been shoving his throbbing cock down yours. Life was truly out to get him. Also he had to stop thinking about such crude things when you were barely a foot away from him. Maybe this was punishment.
You stand there awkwardly as he eats, starting up conversation about what you had done on your mission with Gai and Tenzo. It had been a weird group at first but Jonin were in short supply. Kakashi himself having been on a mission when you were first assigned to go. That's what he liked about you. You were an insanely talented ninja, your skill in ninjutsu almost matching his own. Many times you had been assigned solo missions, not having enough support to back you up. You always came back fine though.
Kakashi wonders what would have happened had he been assigned with you. The two of you had never been put on a mission together, your skills too closely matched to reasonably put you on the same team, needed more assisting others to make up the strength. Right now he reasons he needs you together more than ever. The sandwich isn’t helping like he hoped, and you being so close is making him want to toss it aside and pull you into bed with him.
Surely you would reciprocate, let him fuck you into oblivion, let him spill as much cum as he could inside of your fertile womb-
Kakashi inhales again, he really can't focus on anything but sex right now. He had always preferred books to the company of others but now that you were in his life it seemed the only thing he could think about was you in between the pages instead.
Maybe it was for the best you two had never been paired up, night one on a mission would have ended him right then and there.
He swallows the last mouthful of sandwich and puts the rest of it down half eaten. “Thank you for the food, I'll leave the rest for later, my stomach isn't sitting well with me.”
Understatement of the century, the bubbling of horniness and guilt in his stomach is making him want to vomit. Now to get you to leave.
You smile back at him, taking the plates and chair and putting them back at the desk, “Sure, it sucks you got sick. I was actually coming to see if you wanted to hang out and catch up but since you're feeling under the weather we'll have to postpone. I'm heading back on another mission with Gai and Yamato tomorrow so-”
Again!? What do Gai and Tenzo have that I don't?
“Huh? You know we can't team up Kakashi, you're needed elsewhere.”
Had he…said that out loud? God the pain in his crotch was getting to him.
“Ah. Sorry, it's just a shame we don't get put on missions together, we'd get so much done.” Kakashi smiles, doing his absolute best to save himself from his blunder.
Judging by the look in your eyes you aren't buying it. You move closer and sit on the edge of his bed. Kakashi's cock bobs against the covers as the bed dips, causing him to groan at the friction.
“Kakashi are you sure you're okay? You're sweating like crazy, your entire body is bright red, and your eye looks completely glazed over. Maybe we should take you to the hospital?” you suggest, hand slowly crawling to rub his leg in an attempt to soothe him.
If you had reached only a few centimetres over all of this could be solved. Instead, Kakashi inhales sharply at the contact, moving it away from your caressing and closing in on himself in an attempt to fight off the rapidly approaching orgasm.
You shoot up and over to him, a hand on his shoulder while the other goes to cup his cheek, trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with him. You blush as Kakashi nuzzles his face into your hand before both of his hands shot up to retrain your wrists and push you away from him.
“Please…please don't touch me like that.” Kakashi breathes out, panting heavily as his edging finally rears it's head and reminds him of how close he truly is to cumming.
You look at him, searching for any sign that would tell you why he was acting this way. You stand up and look around before you freeze, it appears something clicks in your head and he doesn’t want to know if you finally caught on. He just needs you to get out of here.
“Oh.”
He peers up at you, your eyes fixated on something above his bed. He turns to look at what you’re staring at only to be mortified by the prepubescent like scene. Lotion and tissue paper lay haphazardly behind him, Make Out Paradise propped open to one of the more graphic chapters.
Kakashi prays to anyone that might hear him to come and kill him.
“Ah, Kakashi…. I'm uh. I'm -”
You’re blushing like crazy, hands flying between your face and playing with the zipper on your flak vest. Your eyes are wide as you stare at the lotion, mind running a mile a minute as you process the last few minutes.
Kakashi knows there are only three reactions to a scene like this. One is absolute disgust, running away and cursing at him for being so gross. The second is you leaving as soon as possible, laughing it off and apologizing for interrupting, or three. You would get on your knees and suck him off right then and there. And considering you hadn't moved yet, maybe he could still swing to three.
He hopes being honest and straightforward will catch you off guard and won't give you a chance to hide any surfacing feelings.
He breaths out a defeated sigh, “I tried to push you away but…this is embarrassing. I just wasn't expecting anyone today.”
Your face is red and you breathing hitches. You’re biting your lip ever so slightly and you aren't hinting at any sign of leaving. You stare down at Kakashi with your eyebrows knit together, eyes glazed over and pupils blown wide open. Jackpot.
“If you don't leave soon I'm going to take it as a sign you want an invitation you know,” Kakashi purrs, hooded eyes gazing up at you. He reaches a hand out to tentatively take yours. You let out a strangled cry as your knees begin to buckle.
Kakashi moves and swings a leg out from under the blanket, now only covering his crotch and his other leg.
In your eyes, he looked like a god, and you would happily fall to your knees to worship his altar.
You gulp as you drink in the sight, thighs pressing together as confused arousal pools in your stomach.
Kakashi pulls you in closer to him, his free hand resting on your waist, “Forgive me if I'm being too forward, but I need you so badly.”
Your lips quiver, “Am I dreaming? I'm not still back on my mission having the craziest sex dream ever right now am I?”
Kakashi chuckles and pulls your hand down further to bring you closer to his face, “I sure hope you aren't, or this would be very embarrassing for me.”
Your lips meet his then, gentle and far too chaste for his liking. You’re too hesitant still, unsure if this was actually happening. He’s glad you feel this way, it makes leading you to where he needs you so much easier.
You place a hand down on his covered thigh and he groans, head falling down to calm himself. He breathes, “I'm going to be honest with you, any touch you leave on me might be my last. I am insanely pent up and am ready to explode at any moment. Whatever we're doing is going to need to be slow.”
Your pupils widen at the confession, all colour from your irises fading as desire and lust engulfs them. You fall to your knees dazed, your flak vest coming undone and thrown off to the side. His fantasy from earlier flashes through his head, the collar is missing but the hitai-ate around your neck will make do. He hooks a finger around the fabric and pulls it slowly towards him, forcing you to crawl until you're situated perfectly in between his legs.
Kakashi brings a hand to caress your chin before stroking his thumb against your lips to open them. You comply with his silent request and roll your tongue out around the digit as your mouth widens. He presses his thumb against the muscle and you wrap your mouth around it and suck gently, a quiet moan vibrating from your throat.
You reach a hand to meet his and slowly remove his thumb from your mouth, “You said you were pent up. How close are you?”
Kakashi almost came from you sucking his thumb off but he isn't about to tell you that. You don't seem to need a verbal answer though as you make your way to his crotch. Your teeth catching the fabric and tugging lightly to tease him. Your mouth meets his erection through the cloth and Kakashi lets out an embarrassingly loud moan and clenches his thighs around you in response.
You decide to be merciful and drag the blanket away from his pelvis. His throbbing, leaking dick greets you as it springs from its flimsy confines and smacks Kakashi's stomach. Red and shiny and desperately crying for your mouth. You lick your lips as your hands push back at Kakashi's thighs to spread him farther apart. Kakashi can’t believe what a sight you make; his cock blocking part of your face, eyes glazed over and tongue hanging out as you stare hungrily at his erection. Like a panting dog. You press your face against the base of his cock and inhale before wrapping your tongue around the base and his balls, sucking at the sensitive flesh.
Kakashi cries out at the contact, head thrown back as he struggles to hold himself up. God he had spent too long waiting for this. The pressure building up far too quickly in his crotch as you continue your assault. He reaches back to try and grab your hitai-ate again to pull you away but he should have been prepared for how cruel a woman you are as you resist it. In response, a hand comes to fondle his ball sack as another moves to stroke his shaft. Your head moves to kiss around his cock, inner thighs and crotch becoming covered with teasing licks and kisses.
Kakashi feels like he’s going insane, heavy breathing and toes curling as you gave him every bit of your attention. He reaches into your hair and tugs slightly to try and let you know he's close. Luckily you seem to understand as you lower your head back down to his cock. You take in as much as you can but he's far bigger than you expected, with the girth to match. Tears sting your eyes as you try to take him, and what you aren't able to, you continue to stroke with your hands.
You bob your head up and down slowly and allow your tongue to do most of the heavy lifting as his cock hits the back of your throat. You gag slightly but hold strong, you aren't about to let this moment be ruined by a weak gag reflex. Your tongue traces the veins along his shaft, licking and sucking as he twitches in your warm mouth.
Kakashi accidentally bucks his hips up against you when you hit a particularly sensitive spot and a light slap to his ass and you pausing your work tells him not to do that again.
You resume quickly after, one hand pushing down against his thigh to hold him in place and rubbing circles into it as the other assists your mouth in stroking Kakashi's cock.
His dick twitches harshly in your mouth and Kakashi let's out a strangled moan of your name as the only warning you get before his hands wrap into your hair and tugs you down to take as much of him as you can. His cock pulses against your tongue, once, twice, before it proceeds to shoot ropes of hot sticky cum directly down your throat.
You close your eyes in an attempt to not choke, swallowing his seed down as quickly as you can. Kakashi's moans come out in strangled gasps as copious amount of his cum spills into your mouth. You're taken aback by how much he's cumming and some of his spend leaks out from your mouth as you struggle to swallow it all fast enough.
You manage to break free of his grasp on your head and release his cock with a gasp as you continue to milk him with your hands. Ropes of the white substance shoot onto your face and down your shirt, coating you in Kakashi's warm cum. You open your mouth as it continues to shoot out and cover you, until he's reaching down and pulling your hand away, sensitivity in overload.
He falls onto his back as the last remnants of cum spurt out from his cock and you move to lick it clean. He's groaning out in response, babbling your name and begging for you to stop with tears in his eyes. You lick a long stripe up his shaft to finish cleaning him off before you sit back and take in your work.
Kakashi is an absolute mess, his hands flying up to his face to wipe away some of the sweat and tears to compose himself.
He wants to move to see your face but his body feels like jelly after finally finding release. He really needs to pay you back.
“You came a lot.” You muse, taking some of his spend and rubbing it between your thumb and finger before licking it into your mouth.
He breathes out, “Where did you learn to do that.”
You tap his thigh, “Don't change the subject. Were you edging yourself the entire day before I showed up?”
He gulps, hands covering his face from shame.
You crawl up between his legs, kissing his thighs and leaving a wet kiss along the tip of his over-sensitive cock before moving up and kissing up his happy trail and chest. He finally finds the strength to lift himself up slightly and takes in the sight of you, cum still covering your face and chest, some of it even in your hair. Fuck you look hot. He feels his cock twitch again. Perhaps he would be ready for part two sooner than he thought.
He smears a strip of cum on your cheek into your pliant mouth. You hum around the digit as you swallow the sticky spend. You were going to be the death of him.
He finally responds, “Perhaps. What's it to you.”
You lick your lips as a particularly large glob of cum falls from your hair and lands on his stomach. You move down and lick it up, swirling it on your tongue before swallowing it down. His cock springs to life at the obscene display. “Just want to know the best way to get this much for next time.” You coo, kissing his torso as you continue to pick up his seed and take it into your mouth.
He gulps, far too excited about the implication of a next time. You finish cleaning yourself up from his facial, a slight white stain on your otherwise clean sweater. He isn't sure if you'll be able to get it out by tomorrow, and the thought of Gai and Tenzo seeing his cum stain on your shirt arouses him far too much. The primal male urge to mark his territory swelling within him. Images of you with a swollen belly flash through his head and he can feel it hitting his libido like a ton of bricks.
“I'll give you as much off my cum as you please.” He mutters, hand caressing your cheek as you place kisses against his palm.
You smirk and reach down to grasp his cock in your hands, stroking mindlessly as you kiss his chest. You trace his abs with your tongue as Kakashi bucks his hips into your hand, still barely calmed down from round one and overly sensitive.
“Do you know how badly I've wanted to do this.” You murmur against his skin, “It's almost embarrassing how much I've thought about all the things I would do to you if you let me.”
Kakashi's eyes roll to the back of his head, he decides you're definitely trying to kill him, and if this is how he goes out it'll be a wonderful way to go. He just prays “Died From An Orgasm” isn't carved onto his gravestone.
“You're so wonderful Kakashi, everything about you. If this really is some dream I'm having I really hope I don't wake up any time soon.”
Kakashi snorts, “I'm sure Gai and Tenzo would be thrilled to find you were having a sex dream about me.”
You stop your ministrations to grimace at him. “If you bring up their names again while your dick is in my hand I'll show you what real edging looks like Hatake.”
Kakashi gulps, the look in your eyes tell him you're serious. Where did you even come from? Heaven?
You continue working him up, your lips kissing what felt like every inch of his chest and pelvis as your hands stroke his weeping cock. He’s panting heavily and the coil in his gut is tightening again. He needs to turn this around if he doesn't want to pass out on you.
He pushes himself up further until he’s properly sitting, your face tucking into his neck, sucking love bites into the tender flesh. You’re relentless in your pursuit to make him cum again and he needs you to stop. Now that he knows you’re more than willing he needs to fuck you until you’re so sore you’ll have to call off the mission tomorrow.
He reaches behind you to grasp your hitai-ate and yanks it back, this time with enough pressure around your neck to force you back with it. You pout at him in defiance when he lets go.
“Y-your turn.” He struggles out. It's far less sexy than he would like but the grip you have on his cock is messing with his head so he does what he can.
You give a small laugh at his stuttering, “You sure you’re up for it big boy? You look like you’re about to pass out.” That sparks a fire in Kakashi. Getting caught in such a vulnerable state, coming completely undone by you, and now your teasing pushes the last remaining bit of masculine pride Kakashi has in overdrive and he lifts himself fully off the bed and twists you around until you're flat under him.
The shock in your expression surges him on as he glides a hand along your sides. You shiver slightly at his actions before he toys with the hem of your shirt. He take a glance up at you for permission and the intense blush and knitted eyebrows tells him all he needs to know.
He snakes his hand under your shirt and caresses your skin as he makes his way up your chest. He palms at your breast as his other hand rests against your lower back, thumb gliding across your side, causing goosebumps to form across your skin from the tickling sensation.
Your eyes squeeze shut as his hand slips under your bra to play with your pebbling nipple. He kisses your neck before straddling your waist. Both hands leave their spots to tug your sweater up and over your head. You moan at the loss of warmth, now colder in only your bra and shorts. A few silvery scars mark your body and Kakashi can’t help but run his hands over them, reminding him once again that you contained an immense amount of power in your veins and here you were, so pliant and pleading for him. It was so easy to forget that you were both machines made for war when you’re both vulnerable like this. It makes him feel insanely human. He feels a hand touch his cheek and barely hears your voice breathe out, “Come back to me.” He meets your eyes before quickly diving down to kiss between your breasts in apology. His hands snaking around your back to remove your bra. Your hands thread into his hair as he drags the bra away and takes a nipple in his mouth, a hand kneading the other roughly. Your moans urge him on as he gently bites at your breast, leaving a light red ring along it to mark you. His hand kneading your breast snakes down to your pants and he fingers the edges of it. You buck your hips against him as a warning but he ignores it. He leaves feather light kisses along your breasts and carefully nips at your neck and shoulders before slowly sliding himself down.
Your breath is staggering, and your hands clasp against his upper arms in warning “Don't you dare…”
He chuckles against your skin, enjoying that you've caught on. He needs you to be as much of a crying mess as he almost was. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Kakashi murmurs against your stomach, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I first saw you years ago.” He licks a small strip over your stomach to distract you from the hand crawling into your shorts. “You’re strong and thoughtful, kind and smart. You’re absolutely perfect.” He continues, his free hand drawing circles into your hip.
His hand slips under your panties and ghosts over your folds. Your legs twitch as he delicately traces over your heat. He pushes your shorts down just enough for him to suck and bite your lower hip, leaving a blossoming bruise in its wake for you to find later. Kakashi pushes his middle finger in and teases your entrance, collecting your wet arousal and spreading it throughout your cunt before it lands on your clit and rubs gentle circles against it. You moan at the contact and he shifts himself up to find a breast again, sucking and nipping at it while he toys with your clit. He adds his ring finger and teases it between the two fingers, the sensation of his hot breath sucking your nipple and his cold fingers against your cunt making you squirm in pleasure. Your hands fly down to try and push his hand away but his free hand collects your wrists and pulls them above your head, keeping you from being able to touch him further.
He moves to capture your lips in a heated kiss, tongue fully dominating the inside of your mouth and exploring it freely while his fingers move away from your clit and circle your entrance. Your breathing comes out in short gasps as he kisses you, middle finger pushing its way past your entrance. His thumb takes over at rubbing your clit while his finger explores your pussy, feeling every wall and thoroughly paying attention to how you shift and moan at every spot he presses against. Soon his ring finger joins in past your entrance. The two digits spreading apart occasionally like scissors as his fingers slowly drag in and out of your pussy, opening your hole up further to prep you. Your wetness slowly starts to drip out of you as Kakashi fucks you with his fingers, a white ring forming at the base of them. Your lungs are working overtime as Kakashi continues to massage the inside of your mouth with his tongue. Finally, he relents and releases you, only for you to cry out his name instead of catching your breath. “Shh, the neighbours will here you.” Kakashi presses a kiss to your burning red cheek, still pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt. You can barely form a sentence but with the way your nose scrunches up he can tell you want to retort. He’s a bit too pleased with himself knowing he’s finally turned the tables on you.
You start thrashing your hips and he takes it as a sign to remove his fingers from your heat and makes a show of licking your arousal off his fingers. Your hands flinch in his wrists and he releases them, watching as they instantly fly to your face to hide your embarrassment. “You taste so good, need some of it straight from the source.” He coos, trailing down to finally peel your shorts off fully. You weakly lift your hips to assist and you sigh when you’re finally relieved of the remainder of your clothing. Kakashi rubs his hands along your ass and thighs, relishing in the sight of having you naked in his bed. You’re chest is rising harshly as you catch your breath, flushed completely from his ministrations. You look absolutely gorgeous.
Kakashi dives down in between your thighs, giving a few light kisses and bites to your inner thighs before quickly moving to your cunt and gathering some of your spilling arousal on his tongue. You yelp at the new sensation and try to squirm away, but Kakashi grabs your hips and keeps you in place, tongue lapping at your entrance while his nose brushes against your clit. He delves his tongue inside you, occasionally mouthing over your pussy to lap at your juices. He’s positive he could get drunk off of this, his cock throbbing as you sob out encouragements.
Your hands find his hair, lightly pulling on the strands to warn him you’re close. He licks one final strip up your pussy before pulling away, teasing you of any sort of release. He needs you to be as ready as possible so he doesn’t finish first.
Kakashi hooks his arms around your legs and slides himself back up. He mimics what you did earlier and leaves a trail of kisses along your stomach and breasts while his hands caress your legs as he lifts them above your head and onto his shoulders.
You're sweating and flushed, while you've been bent practically in half for Kakashi to easily gain access to your cunt. His arms pin you in place as he presses his body against you, cock pressing flush against your entrance. He realizes then that he had forgotten to take your hitai-ate off. The reminder of who you two are the only article of clothing left between you.
It's such an indecent position. Two of Konoha's strongest shinobis engaged in such a filthy act, the world renowned Copy Ninja bending the strongest kunoichi of the leaf in a mating press like they're nothing more than livestock meant to breed. Maybe they are. The thought of you two ending up with a child makes Kakashi's mind swirl as his cock tip rubs up against your wet pussy.
Your belly would swell with his child and even if you denied him after, everyone would know it was his when the baby would come out with silver hair. His cock pulses at the thought, how many kids would you give him if he asked? One? Two? Five? His mind rushes through thoughts of you in a gorgeous wedding gown, a yukata of your own with his clan crest on it, little feet padding along the floors to welcome him home-
He looks in your eyes to steady himself, realization washing over him, “I don't have condoms.”
Your glazed over eyes seem to snap back to reality for half a second before you toss your head back in a half hearted chuckle, “I never thought taking birth control for my skin would come in handy like this.”
Kakashi's eyes widen slightly at the confession, he has truly hit the jackpot, “Are you sure? I just don't want us having to worry about any consequences later on.”
You rub his arms in an attempt to soothe him. “It'd be a little too late for that anyways with that leaking cock pressing against me already. You're fine Kakashi, just come in me.” Your voice cracks with want, “Please. Use me as you please, stop making me wait.”
You buck your hips slightly to rub against him to prove a point and it tosses him right back into the mood. He leans down to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss before he's using one of his hands to glide his cock against your warm cunt to lube himself with your slick.
You moan into his mouth as his cock head repeatedly hits your clit. Kakashi takes this moment to plunge his tongue into your mouth again, your own tongue weakly battling his in a desperate attempt to fight back with what little self control you have left.
He's soon slick enough and he moves away from your glossy lips, a string of saliva connecting you two as he purposefully stares into your eyes. You swallow hard under Kakashi's intense gaze as he moves to slide his dick inside of you. He teases your folds a few times before he makes his way past your entrance, his large cock stretching you open. The stretch shoots an intense heat through your body and you loudly moan out Kakashi's name in response as you toss your head back.
Kakashi pauses and moves his hand to grab your chin, he pulls you back gently and pecks your lips, “Eyes on me, Princess.”
You whine at the pet name as you try to focus back on Kakashi. He slowly pushes further inside and your eyes water from how full he makes you feel. Your hands fly between his arms and his back in an attempt to ground yourself from the sensation.
Tears roll down your face at the pleasant sting of Kakashi's large cock stretching you wide and he bends down to kiss your tears. “You alright?” He murmurs against your cheek.
You nod, not trusting your voice.
“Good.” He kisses you one final time before he pushes further in, he groans at the feeling of your tight walls pushing down on his already over sensitive cock. He knows he has to go extremely slowly if he wants to last long enough to have you come first, but in the back of his head he decides if he can at least get you to come at the same time as him it'll be a victory.
He pulls back slowly, he really is too big and he worries if this is too much for you, but as if you can read his thoughts you breathe out his name, and he can practically feel the lust emanating from it.
You dig your nails into his flesh, crescent moons forming along his arm and back. Only his cock head remains inside you now, and your entrance squeezes him enough for him to toss his head back as he groans at your tight heat.
He composes himself, every last bit of sanity focused on not cumming first, “Are you ready?”
You cry out, “Please Kakashi!”
With your permission he slams into you at full speed. The intense rush causing you to gasp, and for Kakashi to bend over and brush his forehead against yours. He thrusts into you sharply, every angry vein along his cock brushing your walls deliciously as the tension builds up in his gut embarrassingly quickly.
You're babbling praises to him but he can barely hear as he focuses on fucking you properly and not cumming. He needs you to know only he can make you feel like this and words would never be enough. Now that he has you, he wants to make sure you’ll stay and what better way to prove that than to show you how good he can make you feel.
His balls slap against your ass as he thrusts inside you, his cock reaching impossibly deep and hitting your cervix in a mix of pain and pleasure you had never experienced before.
You claw at his back as you ride out the pain, gasps and moans spilling from your mouth as you beg him to go faster. “Please K-Kakashi, come inside me, please!” You beg, eyes rolling back and mouth unable to close. He wonders if you had been thinking about getting bred properly too, “Would you like that?” He takes a chance, “Fill you full of my cum, knock you up?” Your pussy squeezes his cock at the suggestion, confirming his question. He presses a kiss against the shell of your ear, “Better hope that birth control sticks, bet you would look so good with my child inside of you Princess. I’d take good care of you and our baby. I’d give you whatever you asked for.” You claw at his back in response, red lines dragging against his skin as you take in his dirty talk. “P-please Kakashi, I’ll give you as many as you want. M-make me a mom! Please! I’ll be good for you, please fill me full! Give me your baby Kakashi.” you sob out in response. Kakashi’s thrusts increase at your begging, god how had he gotten so lucky with you. Such an elite shinobi crying under him, begging him for his seed to take inside your womb as he pounds into you? You could have anyone you want in Konoha, strong ninja being far more popular than others for their potential to pass down their strength. And here you are, letting Kakashi get his dick wet in your cunt instead of choosing someone with far more likeability. He knows he’s insufferable at times and he never lets anyone know how he’s truly feeling, but maybe if it’s you he could be more honest.
He lifts his feet onto his toes and leans in to press further into you, cock slamming into your wet cunt and the sounds of skin slapping against skin permeating the air.
Both of you are tearing up from pleasure and Kakashi is positive he’s about to burst. He shoves a hand between your bodies and presses his thumb against your clit. He rubs it intensely, swirling the nerve feverishly to get you to come before him. You seize up against him, body tightening around his as the coil in your stomach starts to tighten. “I’m close…”you breathe out, barely a whisper Kakashi almost misses.
His thighs are burning from the position he’s in and his cock is throbbing painfully inside of you as he thrusts in and out of your pussy harshly. Your high pitched mewls are urging him on and he knows he isn’t going to last.
He’ll make it up to you, eat you out until you’ve cum on his tongue enough times that you forget how to count. His cock twitches and the coil finally snaps as he cums for the second time that day. Hot ropes of cum flood into your wrecked pussy and it sends you barrelling into your own orgasm. You cry out as Kakashi continues to paint your insides white, both of you riding out your highs, breaths mixed together. Kakashi moves to swallow your gasps, the shift causing both of you to let out high pitched moans. Kakashi is embarrassed at the sound that comes from his throat but you don’t seem to notice, eyes closed shut as your mouth moves against his while your cunt milks him of every drop of cum he can give.
It proves to be a lot, and the sticky cum starts to flood out from your pussy past his cock. He can barely move and he really doesn’t want to. The idea of any of his cum escaping you before it can take makes him hesitant but he quickly remembers he shouldn’t be daydreaming about breeding you senseless and starts to slide out of your spent cunt.
You whine in protest and clutch at his back to try and hold him in place but he chuckles and presses a wet kiss to your cheek, “Sorry Princess, we can’t stay locked like this all day.” “Why not,” you whine. You finally open your eyes to meet his and his heart almost gives out. They’re shiny from your tears and mixed with your deep blush you look like a painting. He wants to scoop you up and take you again right then and there but he’s already cum twice today and he’s pretty sure if he tries a third time there won’t be anything left of his dick.
He pulls your legs down from their position against his shoulders, rubbing your thighs and kissing them in case they burned like his did. You moan again at the gesture and he’s sure you’re sore. He watches some of his cum leak out of you and he scoops it up before it can hit his sheets and shoves it back inside of you. You cry at his actions and a sharp pain shoots through his groin and he stops, he shouldn't work himself up again so soon, it was starting to get painful. Instead he watches his cum pool out of your pussy, staining his sheets as it collects under your ass.
“Let me get something to clean you up.”
You grab at him weakly to pull him back into you, “Ugh you read too many romance books, I don't need to be cleaned up right away, you already came in me and its already all over your sheets. I need affection right now.”
He chuckles and pushes past your grabby hands, scooping you into his arms and leaning his body against yours, “Sorry, I'm still new at this.”
You would have rocketed out of bed at the confession had you not been sandwiched between Kakashi and the bed, “What? I refuse to believe this was your first time.”
Kakashi presses a few kisses to your face, unable to contain himself from how cute your expression is, “No, but it's been quite a number of years, and even then they weren't the most fulfilling experiences.”
You scrunch your face as he continues to pepper your face with feather light kisses, “So all of that was just….from Icha Icha?”
Kakashi hums out a yes as he moves to kiss your neck. He's going to take full advantage of your demand for affection, it means you wanted him more than a one night stand and he plans to give you everything.
“You can't just drop that on me, post mind-blowing orgasm. You mean I have to thank Jiraiya for how you are in bed?”
Kakashi pauses and looks up at you. It appears you and him were on two completely different wave lengths.
“Uh, if that's what you want?”
You press a thumb against his forehead to smooth the wrinkles that form in his confusion, “It was a joke baby, I'm trying to compliment you.”
The pet name goes straight through Kakashi into his dick. Down boy. He settles for stuffing his face in your neck.
You run your hands through his admittedly sweaty hair and laugh at his pouting.
“I liked that high pitch moan you let out back there,” so you did hear him, “I didn’t know you could make a sound like that.” He huffs into your neck and flips you over so you're now on top of him, arms wrapping around your lower back to keep you pressed against him, “Don’t go telling anyone I did that, that's only for your ears Princess.”
You lift yourself up and keep a hand on his chest, “That’s another thing. Where on earth did you get that nickname, it makes me crazy.”
He looks at you with wide eyes, “Do you not like it? I just thought-” “No!” You huff, lightly tapping his chest, “Crazy in a good way! I wanted to jump you so badly when you first said it, it’s dangerous!” Kakashi lets out a hearty laugh he didn’t know he had in him that takes you off guard. Before you can respond he’s pulling you back against him. You pout against his chest before giving a light laugh. He kisses the top of your head, “I’m sorry by the way.” You look up at him with a worried expression on your face, “Sorry for what?” He kisses your forehead, “Sorry I didn’t ask you out first. Kind of a horrible first date to have you make me a sandwich then fuck you in my bed.” You guffaw at his words, “Kakashi! Don’t- God why would you say that!” He smiles, and moves to massage the back of your neck, “Sorry, sorry. But when you come back from your mission, will you allow me to take you out properly? I have hundreds of date ideas and not all of them end up with you in my bed, promise.” You quirk an eye at him, “Do some of them end up with you in my bed?” “Maybe. Wouldn’t you like to find out though?” He glances down at you with hooded eyes and a smirk. You narrow your eyes at his playful banter, “I think I liked you better when you 3 hours into an edging session, you were much more compliant.” Kakashi barks out another laugh, you make it easy for him to do that it seems, “Mahh, you’ll get used to it. With that tongue of yours though I’m sure you could get me to bend over backwards for you. I still want to know where you learned to do that.”
You bury your face into his chest to hide your reddening face, “And I want to know how you discovered you had a breeding kink. Some things are better left a mystery don’t you think?” you retort.
Kakashi flushes, you’re 100% right. He isn’t ready to admit just yet that he discovered it after watching you interact with his genin about three years ago. That night had been a very shameful masturbation session.
“Fair enough.” You nuzzle your face against him but feel something poke into your neck. Your reach up to find your long forgotten hitai-ate still wrapped around you. “Oh my god we didn’t take this off?” Kakashi hooks a finger into the fabric, lifting an eyebrow, “You think it’ll tell everyone what it saw today?”
You smack his chest and bury your face into the crook of his neck, “You’re insufferable.” He buries his nose in your hair as he chuckles, “So is that a yes to the date?”
He can just make out a quiet yes muttered against his throat. He squeezes you tightly in response, placing a lingering kiss to to the top of your head.
“Ugh okay we need to get cleaned up the cum is drying and it’s making my legs uncomfortably sticky.” You shoot up and start to climb over Kakashi. He snorts and lightly smacks your ass as you pass over him. You yelp and shoot him a glare as you make your way towards his bathroom.
He starts to get up too, but he slowly realizes he’s been laying down for a good majority of the day and his tight muscles remind him now that he’s come down fully from his high. He trips over himself and quickly looks to see if you saw it. Your voice calls out from the bathroom, “Have a nice fall?” You were turning into a threat to his usual persona. He stumbles into the bathroom and wraps his arms around your torso as you wipe yourself down. He wants to suggest a shower but he knows himself too well and decides better of it lest he has to start expending chakra to keep himself awake enough for a third round. That would not be a fun trip to the hospital. You turn yourself around and wipe his face with a new cloth, he holds you close and hums as you gently clean him up too. He really should be the one doing this but he’s slowly realizing he likes being taken care of as much as he likes to take care of people so he lets you continue.
Soon enough he’s dragging you back into bed and planting more kisses across your skin. Late into the night he whispers promises of what you two will do when you come back from your mission.
As you doze off in his arms the only thing Kakashi can think of is how he really should do this more often.
-------------------------------------------
“I’M SO LATE.”
“I’m starting to rub off on you in more ways than one.” You throw a pillow at Kakashi’s head which he lets smack him in the face. He deserves it frankly. He watches you race around his room to gather your clothes in your attempt to still make it to your rendezvous point on time. He figures if you left now you would still be 5 minutes late, and the white stain on your shirt would be even more of a question for Gai and Tenzo. He gets up out of bed after what feels like an eternity after lounging in it all of yesterday and grabs one of his clean shirts from his dresser. He tosses it at you as you just discover the lewd stain on what would have been your only shirt. “It’ll be a little big, but it’s better than having those two poke their noses into your business.” he comments, grabbing your soiled shirt from your hands, “I’ll wash this one for you so it’s clean when you come back.” You give him a heartfelt stare, “Thank you Kakashi, I’d say I owe you one but it’s your fault it’s stained to begin with so we’ll just call it even.” He smiles and kisses your forehead, “You should go now, you might get there with enough time for them not to question anything if you run.” Your eyes widen and you dash out the door as you wrap your flak vest around yourself, shouting as leave, “I’ll see you when I come back! I’m expecting a fancy date you know!”
Kakashi gives a halfhearted wave, knowing fully well he’ll have to plan something grand for you. Maybe a bouquet of your favorite flower? A giant plushie? Chocolates? A fancy candlelit dinner? Jewellery? He muses at his options as he thumbs at the stained shirt you left behind. Ah, and definitely more of this.
He tosses the shirt into his bathroom to be picked up and washed later, he hums as he heads for the kitchen for breakfast and decides that he should just give you every option when you return. That’s really the only way he can show you how much he adores you after all.
------------------------------------------- “Did you sleep in by accident?” Yamato teases after you finally meet up with them. You had shown up 10 minutes late, out of breath and a little dishevelled but you're positive nothing else is out of place.
“Is that Kakashi’s shirt?” Gai asks.
You freeze. “No?”
Gai squints his eyes as he brings a hand up to his chin, “I could have sworn that looks like his shirt.”
Yamato leans in to get a good look at it, “It is a little big on you, your normal shirts fit you pretty decently, but this one goes down past your hips and bunches at your wrists.
You push him away, “Don’t look at my hips. It’s just a bigger shirt size than normal, I was so tired when we got home yesterday I didn’t do any laundry so I only had this one to wear.”
You hear sniffing beside you. You turn to see Gai far too close to your face, “It smells like Kakashi too.”
You smack Gai across his face as an intense blush blazes across yours, “Don’t sniff me you creep! Can we just get a move on, we don’t have all day!”
You rush away from both of them, mortified of the development. You realize in agony as you make your way past the village gates that if you had just worn the stained shirt the pair wouldn’t have even seen the stain as it would have been covered by your vest. Kakashi was going to pay when you got back.
#kakashi x reader#kakashi x y/n#kakashi x you#kakashi hatake#kakashi one shot#this is my first full fanfic in years so hopefully it isnt entirely terrible lol#mdni banner by cafekitsune :)#kakashi hatake x reader#kakashi hatake x you
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Weeping Gods (WIP)
This tale sweeps you up and drops you back 3500 years into the past, straight onto the banks of the Nile, at the dawn of the Egyptian New Kingdom. The Empire has only been liberated from a hundred year old occupation. The scars left by the war are still healing and yet, threats loom on the horizon again. Some powerful artifacts have been stolen and the king entrusts you with their recovery. Suddenly finding yourself out of your depth and all out of options, you have no choice but to agree to the dangerous mission. You don't know what awaits you on this journey but you know one thing for sure: if you don't catch the enemies of the empire, you will risk more than your own life.
Take your fate into your own hands, solve mysteries, meet new friends, fall in love, learn about magic, monsters, spirits, gods, and have fun in the ancient Egyptian Kingdom in this historical fantasy novel.
The story is a work of fiction and is not historically accurate.
Features
Choose from 4 different origin characters, each with unique stories and choices that will follow you through the rest of the game: - a priest in over their head with a caring and loyal mentor - a noble very much in over their head with a problematic family - the captain of the Theban Guard, who is way too tired for this - a thief from the slums of Thebes, desperate for survival
Play as male, female or non-binary; gay, straight or bi.
Build friendships, rivalries, or find love with a young prince, a mysterious spymaster, a brooding spirit, an elite warrior… or even the pharaoh himself.
Explore Egypt through a series of adventures with a ragtag team of characters
Solve mysteries, climb the Great Pyramid of Giza, deal with the sparks of revolution, and help secure the kingdom's future
Warnings: The story will contain heavy and dark themes, excessive swearing, mental health problems, and optional sexual content, so it is recommended for mature audiences only. The whole list of triggering content can be found in the beginning of the demo.
The Romances
Narmer - A kind and patient man with a golden heart, a fierce sense of duty, a bloody past, and way too little free time.
Qenna (m/f) - The living enigma. Fun and casual at first glance, but why is everyone warning you against spending time with them?
Zaia (m/f) - Spends most of their time brooding or hiding from people, but they can be surprisingly cheeky with those they feel comfortable with.
Tabiry - A dependable and loyal woman, she is the type of person you could trust to have your back in any situation.
Ahmose (m/f) - Young and impressionable, with a dazzling smile and too much hope for a better future.
The Demo
Chapter 1 completed
Chapter 2 work in progress
Word count (with code): around 258 000 words Word count (without code): 235 000 words Average playthrough on any origin: around 30 000 words
Last update: 25. Oct. 2024. (First published: 14. Aug. 2024.)
DEMO | FAQ | ROs and NPCs | Discord | CoG Forum | Ko-Fi (for tips)
#interactive fiction#interactive game#interactive if#interactive novel#weeping gods#historical fantasy#historical fiction#wip#ancient egypt#choicescript
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My Heart, I Surrender
► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - intruder!san x virgin!reader ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - smut with plot, age gap of 10 years (but both full adults), sociopathic tendencies but San is a !gentleman, suspense, somnophilia, fingering, hair-pulling, , corruption kink, breeding kink, oral sex (FL receiving), creampie, no protection (do NOT do this!), tit sucking, rough sex, size kink, overstimulation, cum tasting ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - MDNI, sexual assault, degrading name calling (slut, whore), non-consent sex, reluctance, gaslighting and manipulation to give in ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 16.5K (goal was 14K but oh well) ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - The most unforgettable night of your life happens when an intruder breaks in and steals your body, your innocence, and your heart. ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - If this is triggering to you, please do not continue. This is a work of fiction not meant to represent the members in real life. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS TYPE OF ENCOUNTER. This is not a go-signal for anyone to do this. This is a fantasy and IT SHOULD STAY THAT WAY. You have been warned. More notes towards the end. Join the taglist here. Title from I Prevail ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 - @ginger-mingi ◄
The pouring rain has always provided me with a sense of comfort I cannot even begin to explain. I wasn't sure if it was the sound of it hitting the pavement, or even the smell of it as it watered the meadow fields. Oh, the fresh scent of it when it hits my nose when I inhale brings serenity.
So here I stood under a dingy, little waiting shed where I sought shelter from the rain that I claimed to love.
I looked left and right hoping to see a bus coming while I rubbed my arms and my teeth chattered, but nothing. Even the waiting shed did absolutely nothing to shield me from the biting cold.
I sighed, instantly regretting not making it on time here for the other bus. With nothing better to do, I sat back down on the somewhat clean-ish seat that the shed provided and waited it out. If it wasn't for the rain, I would have been busy admiring the lush trees and the beautiful spring flowers that surrounded the area like I always usually did when I waited for the bus.
I perked when I saw headlights to my left through the haze, but I quickly became disappointed when I realized it wasn't my bus, it was just a car passing by.
"Damn," I deflated back onto my seat. dejected at the thought of staying in this shed for longer than I wanted to.
I stared at the oncoming car, suddenly wishing I could drive. I wouldn't be waiting if I knew how. It came faster and faster until I was able to make out its model and its colour - a sleek black.
And then it completely stopped in front of me.
I frowned, confused and then got frightened at what the owner possibly wanted. It could be anything, but the one that struck in my mind was some sick psycho that wanted to do things to me, a lone girl in a deserted area.
I cursed in my mind when I looked around and nobody was around to hear me scream for help just in case. I looked down suddenly, finding my shoes interesting, hoping that the driver would go away soon.
I bit my lip when I heard the distinct sound of a car window rolling down. Oh God, I thought nervously. Was I about to get kidnapped?
"Y/N?"
As if I wasn't nervous enough. My confusion grew not only because I heard my name out of nowhere, but that voice sounded a little too familiar.
I looked up and my heart stopped beating for a second or two. He was the kind of handsome that made me hold my breath and those chestnut eyes that stared already spoke to me before he even said a word.
"M-Mr. Choi!" I blurted out in mild surprise. I stood up and began to approach his car but quickly stumbled when I realized it was still raining. "W-What are you doing here?"
I blushed profusely when he smiled at me, it was heart-melting, especially when his dimples popped out from his cheeks. I mentally cursed myself for being this embarrassing in front of him.
"This is near my workplace," he replied. He slowly raked his eyes from my feet all the way to my face and his smile grew wider. "How long have you been waiting for the bus?"
"Almost an hour," I replied truthfully.
His smile drops slightly and he clicks his tongue. He presses on something and I hear the click of something unlocking. "Get in," he cocked his head towards the passenger seat.
My face heats up even more if that was possible. "Oh," I squeak out. "I-I couldn't possibly impose on you, I'm fine, really."
"Please, I insist," he pauses to gauge my reaction. "I would feel awful if I just left you here stranded."
I was weighing my options, but the reality was, I was afraid he would hear how hard my heart was beating if I was to go into the same space as him, let alone something as intimate as a car.
He sighed when he saw me doubting. "We live in the same complex anyway, plus that bus won't be coming soon," he insisted.
I pursed my lips together, and it didn't escape his attention. He was right, I was the one being unreasonable. Plus, I knew him. I knew he had pure intentions - to simply just take me home.
"Okay," I murmured, finally agreeing to his insistence.
I stopped breathing when he broke out into the widest grin. "Good," he beamed.
I was about to move and get my stuff from the seat when Mr. Choi got out of the car and started to walk towards me through the rain. "You're going to get wet!" I tried to stop him.
"A little rain wouldn't hurt me," he shot me a wink and I almost fainted at the sight.
He passed me and I caught a whiff of his cologne, the smallest hint of it already transporting me into places I don't dare go in. He carried my stuff for me as he opened the umbrella I didn't even notice he had because I was busy looking at him.
"L-Let me carry the umbrella, at least," I offered like a decent human being. I made a move to grab the umbrella, but he quickly moved it away.
I glanced up at him and I was taken aback by the sharp and scathing look he gave me, but it was gone in less than a second. He opened the car door for me and I immediately forget about it. To his warm cologne and his even warmer actions, it was easy to like him.
"Cold?" he asked as he buckled his seatbelt. I nodded, not that I had a choice, I was literally shivering when I got in.
I murmured a small 'thank you' when he upped the heat in his car, and just like that, we drove away from that wretched waiting shed. I held in a satisfied exhale as I sank into the softest and most comfortable seat I've ever sat on.
"You said your workplace was near here?" I began to speak in hopes to fill in the awkward air. "May I ask what you do?"
"I have a startup company along with my friends downtown. You know that 7-Eleven by the corner?" I nodded slowly and he hummed. "It's near that area. I always pass this road to go home."
So that explains the aura he exuded - mature, well-put together. And, by God, the way he always dressed. Today, he wore a business suit that was tailored so well and emphasized his body. It made him look like he had power.
"You?" he continued. "Where have you been?"
"Oh, I just met up with a couple of my friends," I shrugged. "Got a little too carried away and missed my ride."
"No one offered to take you home?"
"They all live on the other side of the city, plus my complex is far. I don't mind riding the bus."
There was a moment of hesitation on his face. "I can drive for you from now on," he offered as he glanced at me side-eyed while he tried to focus on the road.
I watched him side-eyed as well, afraid to turn my head to stare at him head on. My mouth felt dry and I didn't know what to say, and there was a certain gentleness in his voice that made me want to reach out to him.
"N-No, I don't want to be a bother, Mr. Choi."
"San."
"Huh?" I asked, confused.
In an instant, he turned and our eyes finally met. "Just call me San."
"I-I can't possibly do that," I muttered. I felt my heart lodge onto my throat, but I tried to play it cool. "You are my senior."
He put on the most inviting, volatile, and apathetic smirk. It was such the opposite expression to his usual gentleness. "Why?" San raised a mischievous brow. "Your boyfriend is going to get mad?"
I couldn't move, it felt like I would have to muster tremendous effort to do so, and my brain was lagging. I had to think and move well.
"No, I don't have a boyfriend," I finally uttered. His smirk grows bigger, though I chose to ignore it.
"That settles it, then," San chuckled more to himself, the sound of it so low that it brought shivers to my spine.
He noticed it and before I could turn away from him clearly flustered, a grin spread across his face and made him look even more handsome than he already was, if it was possible. I'm pretty sure my face was redder than a tomato right now.
"Are you going to be a dear and think about it, at least?" San looked left and right on the street before driving across the familiar intersection that led to the complex.
At that moment, I felt my body flush warm. I must have made a small sound of agreement because San let it go for now and finally concentrated on driving both of us. I'm not even sure, and I don't want to care right now.
It was silent, the only sound we could hear was the rain hitting the roof of the car and the heater whirring in the air. Outside there is no traffic and the light had finally gone, which might mean that it was almost nighttime. The fragile peace had taken over us, and it gave me moments to think.
Being in the car with the one and only Choi San definitely wasn't in my list of things to do today. He was well-known in the complex we lived at immediately after he moved in a couple of months ago. He wasn't my neighbour, not even close, but even he had caught my unassuming eye.
He was attractive - hot, to be frank. When he walked into the room, it seemed as if conversation stopped to sit in stunned silence, he had all of our attention and he knew it. He knew damn well we all found him attractive, yet he never let it all go into his head. He was the sweetest gentleman who always smiled and helped around without asking for something in return.
I couldn't help the admiration I felt for him, and it wasn't only me who held a high opinion of him, everyone I knew did so that automatically doesn't make my admiration anything special in itself.
Or maybe mine was something more. I quickly brushed the thought away from my mind because I knew that it was impossible. San might not even look or want somebody that was much younger than him. In this case, if I wasn't mistaken, I was a good ten years younger than him.
"You look like you want to say something," San suddenly spoke.
"Do you have a family?" I sputtered out before I could stop myself.
I was waiting for San to laugh or think I'm stupid, or perhaps make a snide remark of how nosy I was getting, but it never came.
"No, I currently don't," he replied, the gentleness he was known for back in his voice.
Which means that he's open to having one in the future.
"I see," I trailed off. I didn't know what else to say, I already got the answer to my question.
I choked on my next breath when I felt San's right hand grab my thigh. Almost robotically, my head slowly swivels to stare at him wide-eyed with unparalleled surprise. He stayed focused on the road, but I saw a ghost of a smirk grace his lips.
"Close your mouth, doll," San whispered, his voice dropping into a husky rasp. "Look away."
It took everything in me to do so and stare straight ahead on the unwinding road. The sudden grab made my heart pound so hard, the way his thumb would slowly caress my thighs left goosebumps in its wake.
"Mr. Choi," I began, trying very hard to keep my voice leveled, but we both knew that it sounded shakier than the sky right now.
He side-eyes me once more, his other hand still maneuvering the steering wheel, and raised a brow. "I told you," he griped. "It's San."
A shaky breath left my mouth when he squeezed my thigh. It was enough for me to feel it, but not enough for it to hurt - not even close. He let go momentarily and drummed his slender fingers on my thighs, instead. I swallowed as I stared at his sinful fingers, the things they could do...
"Say my name."
I snapped out of the indecent thoughts from my head before they could fully form. "Pardon?" I questioned.
He chuckled, this time, those dimples of his popped out again. I could have sworn my heart leapt out of my chest. "I said," San spoke, his voice quiet but firm. "Say my name."
"B-But--"
"Say it."
I gasped when he squeezed my thigh with more pressure. It still didn't hurt, but something else of mine hurt. "Okay, okay," I sighed. "S-San."
His lips stretched into a satisfied grin and he finally let go and kept his hand to himself. "Good girl," he smiled.
The hair on my nape prickled at the way San's voice - deep, thick, and most of all, powerful - but that wasn't even the worst part. He was smiling, and that smile was something he reserved when he was being the sweetest, most precious gentleman everybody knew him to be.
What have I gotten myself into? Was he not who everybody, including me, thought he was? My chest was about to explode, my hands were getting clammy and I was close to hyperventilating as I leaned closer to the door to try and avoid him.
Soon enough, we reached the apartment complex and he had slowly stopped the car in front of my apartment. I don't know how he knew where I lived, but at this point, I was not even going to ask. I might hear something I was not ready to hear.
"T-Thank you," I mumbled and hurriedly grabbed my things so I could get the hell out of his car as fast as humanly possible. There was no way I was staying in it longer - it was suffocating.
I speedwalked immediately away and I was about to be completely out of his sight when he stopped me and called me back. "Y/N, wait."
I cursed under my breath and begrudgingly looked back at him with an expectant gaze. The tremors in my heart upped when I saw that beautiful smile I always found attractive on him.
"I'll see you later, doll," he said with hopeful vigor. Did I want to see him again?
"I highly doubt it," I nervously tucked a stray hair out of my face to avoid looking at him. At the end of the day, he was kind enough to take me home but it ended there. We had nothing in common and there was no way he would look at me like that.
He smirked, the dark look in his eyes made me shrink from where I stood. "You never know."
He definitely doesn't mean that. Right?
I didn't bother to watch his car drive off. I quickly ran into my apartment and straight into the shower in record time to take the grime off of my body and hopefully, relax.
That was wishful thinking on my part. There was absolutely no way I could erase that odd encounter with San from my brain in the next few weeks.
I stood still in the shower and let all the water flow from my scalp all the way down to my toes. Heat filled my entire body when I stared at the section where San had squeezed my thighs. It was slightly pink from the pressure, something that would face away in a couple of minutes.
The way his personality would switch in a matter of seconds creeped the living hell out of me. He went from being so endearing to something else completely that went over my brain capacity.
I frowned, not fully able to comprehend how San was as a person. This is exactly why you should never take a person at face value - they might end up surprising you in ways you never thought was even possible.
I dried my hair, still in a daze. Usually I would spend some time with skin and body care, but tonight I didn't care enough to even make an effort, so after I was done with my hair, I put on my favourite silk nightgown.
I decided to sit down momentarily on the couch to do some deep thinking, but that ended up being a dud. Within moments, I was asleep.
I stirred awake in the middle of the night, I was confused, I was the type who slept like a log once I'm out - this means I usually never wake up in between my sleep, if not, at all. I tried to shake the confusion and moved my arm towards the bedside table to grab my phone.
'4:20 A.M.'
I groaned softly, frustrated at the fact that it's dead in the night and I was sentient. I had to work in a few hours and I never did well when my sleep pattern was disturbed. I willed myself to sleep and put the blanket over my head.
I opened my eyes, startled. Blanket?
I tried to make sense of what my mind was slowly realizing. I was in bed when I knew for a fact that I had fallen asleep on the couch hours ago.
My brain alerted me into panic and this time, I was fully awake. Maybe I had walked to my bed half asleep and I just didn't remember it? Impossible. I was a heavy sleeper, I would have definitely remembered if I got up unceremoniously. So the question was, how am I here, and how long have I been here?
I sat up, rubbing my eyes timidly to will the sleepiness away from me. Maybe I have just been stressed out at work and am blacking out sometimes, which was worrying if that really was the case.
I looked at the couch I was in and everything was fine, except for the dark figure sitting down on it. I stared for a few minutes before shaking my head.
"Definitely tired," I mumbled to myself, disoriented, before laying back down and trying to fall back asleep. I wonder what that was...
My heart dropped to my stomach when I realized what the hell I just saw and I opened my eyes once more, this time, the sleepiness was fading away. A dark figure sitting on my couch?
How long has it been here just watching me sleep? I stiffened, the energy in the room felt absolutely different. I stayed still, listening quietly if something would be moved or if I was really imagining things.
But nothing. Just the thick, sinister silence that enveloped the room. With mild unease slowly creeping up to me, I chose to stay still in fear, hoping that this was only a dream and that thing was a figment of my imagination.
Except that I knew it wasn't. I knew it was a person. I saw that it was a man. He was sitting comfortably on my couch with his arms crossed, watching me sleep.
My worst fears came to life when I heard a shuffle and the distinct sound of somebody getting up from the couch. My heart started beating frantically when I felt the bed dip behind me. I tried not to flinch at the sudden intrusion, I tried not to breathe either.
Who was in my bed? How in the world did they even get in? I was a thousand percent sure I locked the door when I came home too, so how? Luckily, the only other entrance to my apartment - my window - was in my direct view, and my heart dropped when I saw that it was wide open.
'Please, go away, please,' I prayed inside my head, but things never really worked out like that, didn't they?
I felt a large hand touch my leg, its presence leaving a burning feeling upon my skin. It stayed there for what seemed like forever until it gently lifted the blanket up a bit so the hand could slide up my skin.
I tried to remain unmoved as my mind struggled to make sense of what was happening and I almost let out a whimper when I felt the rough hand slowly caress my skin and it wept higher until it stopped at my clothed thigh. His hand was dangerously close to my core and it was terrifying.
I shut my eyes as tightly as possible, the dread of waiting what he was going to do next making me want to pass out in extreme horror.
He did the unexpected - he lifted his hand away from my thigh and I would have been relieved, but I felt the mattress dip even more and I can tell from the movement that he was trying to climb the bed and stay next to me.
Tears started to pool in my eyes, I was petrified in fear. I heard the man sigh softly as he slowly started to stroke my hair in the warmest and gentlest manner. I stopped breathing when his fingers slowly started to trace my face - my cheeks, lips, nose.
"I know you're awake," I heard him whisper, cutting through the dead silence.
I willed myself to open my eyes and it took a while for them to adjust, but the panic seeps into me nonetheless when I saw him. He was sitting tentatively beside me, and since he was against the light, I still couldn't see his face clearly.
But I can tell he was huge. There was no way I could fight him.
"Did you...move me to the bed?" I asked, my voice shaking as I fought the tears from falling from my eyes.
"Yes," he replied, and the sound of it sent shivers to my body. He had a deeper voice, it was unfortunately pleasant to my ears.
"What do you want from me?" I asked next, afraid of what the answer might be. He began to stroke my hair again. "Please, don't do that..."
He tensed, his hand stopping at my head and I was terrified that he would start grabbing my hair, but surprisingly, he does stop. "A lot of things," he cryptically replied.
I suppress a whimper when I feel him move. I was too terrified to move and the intruder took the opportunity to lean down my ear.
I exhaled a terrified sigh when I felt his breath hit my ear. I finally let out a whimper when he blew softly in my ear and more goosebumps flared up on my skin. He chuckled softly, the closeness of his proximity emphasizing how menacing it was.
"For example," I could hear the smirk in his voice. "You, for one."
My eyes go wide, the reality of the situation crashing down on me abruptly, and I realize what his intentions were with me - he was going to assault me.
Tears started streaming down my face, and without thinking, I pushed the blanket off me and quickly tried to roll to the edge of the bed, but I didn't make it too far when I felt my feet being grabbed.
I screamed bloody murder when I was dragged roughly back into the middle of the bed, my hands grabbing I could to stop myself, but it was no use.
I was flipped to my back and I cried harder when he grabbed my arms violently and pinned them above my head as he straddled me.
"Please don't hurt me," I cried, my own pitiful voice getting to me. I closed my eyes as tightly as possible as if that would make the man on top of me vanish.
I flinched when I felt fingers stroke my cheek gently. "Shh, breath," he hushes. "I need you to calm down."
I struggled momentarily underneath him. I gasped when he pushed the hand he was using to pin both of mine on the bed with a pressure that was almost painful. "Stay still," he said, his voice taut.
I tried my luck again but all that earned me was a growl from him. "Stay still," he reiterated coldly, the gentleness in his voice gone. "And shut up."
I listened and I stayed still for what seemed like hours, my position vulnerable. I was afraid of what he'd do if I disobeyed.
I gulped when I felt him leaning forward, gasping quietly when I felt his other hand cup my cheek and give it a gentle kiss, his lips lingering for a while before he started whispering the most soothing words I'd hear for a while.
"Just like that, doll, breathe in and out for me," he mumbled tenderly. He started to soothingly stroke my skin - my face, my neck, my arms. "I am not going to hurt you."
"I'm going to scream if you don't get off me," I spoke in an attempt to threaten him, and it came out sounding pathetic.
He hummed like a gentle parent comforting their child. "There's really no need, I said I'm not going to hurt you, so don't be scared."
"Y-You're scaring me," I gulped, my eyes still closed.
How can I not be scared? He was huge and I knew for a fact that even if I died trying, I don't have a chance of overpowering him.
He planted a small kiss on the top of my head and I caught a whiff of his cologne. I froze, that smelled extremely familiar.
"Am I?" I heard him sigh. "I'm sorry."
I can hear and feel the blood rushing to my ears. Now that my sight is blank, all my other senses are stronger and I am now slowly realizing how awfully familiar his voice was sounding. I just couldn't pinpoint who exactly it was.
"Do I...know you?" I slowly asked, my chest heaving up and down to due my breathlessness.
Unfortunately, he noticed it. My breath hitched when his free hand, the one not pinning mine down, lightly brushed my hardened nipples. I cursed mentally for not wearing a bra tonight.
"You're a curious one, aren't you?" he mumbled before he stopped touching my breasts. I breathe a sigh of relief. A couple more seconds and I would have made a sound.
"Maybe you do," he continued. "Maybe you don't."
What a terrifying response. A stranger, an intruder, was in my home and basically holding me captive and I had no idea how far he would go tonight.
I ignored him and my shaky voice sounded, "What do you intend to do to me?"
Fright constricted my chest when he leaned down and gave the soft skin on my neck little bites, pecks, and licks. "What do you want me to do to you?" his husky voice purrs into my ear.
Heat spreads all over my body at the involuntary pleasure I felt from the little of kisses, the small kissing sounds his lips were making against my skin loud in my ears and I ashamedly clenched my legs together. I felt him smile against my skin when my body betrayed me and I gasped a bit when he sucked on my skin.
"I'm going to make you feel good," he murmured, his free hand touching and squeezing my hips and sides, just stopping below my chest.
I whined moving my head slightly in a poor attempt to get him off of me. It was extremely humiliating. "Don't," he warned, his voice rigid and gravely.
Tears started to form again in my eyes. It was so pathetic. Had I been stronger enough, I would have been out of here. I gasp when his hand kneads my breast, and he was doing it so tenderly as if he was afraid that I would burst if he wasn't careful enough.
"P-Please," I arched my back unwillingly towards his hand. I felt him groan deeply against my skin, the vibration sent shivers to my spine.
"Shh, I said stop moving," he held me tighter, more tensely. I got a bit frightened, he was so unpredictable that I didn't know how to act.
My brain can't properly wrap around the situation. He's an intruder, which I can only assume as someone who is never up to any good, but he is excruciatingly gentle, and the way he can make my body react to his touch was alarming.
"Ah!" I squealed when he suddenly pinched my nipple. He laughed huskily and he didn't do it again. My skin was on fire, I have never been more terrified in my life than right now.
"You feel so good, I can't wait to make you mine." he growled. "Not that you weren't yet."
It occurred to me that it must be a nightmare, perhaps I should just go with it, or maybe if she refused he would willingly leave. But that would never happen, he was here to take me.
I snapped back into reality when I heard the worst sound I could possibly hear all night - a zipper being undone.
I began thrashing and resisting again. "Wait, wait, please stop," I begged. "I-I'll give you anything you want, I have money---"
I screamed when his hand wrapped around my neck. "You're testing my patience, doll," he hissed, squeezing on the sides of my neck.
I choked on little air, I was getting lightheaded before he let me go. I took big gulps of chair as I coughed, scared out of my wits. Oh God, I thought dreadfully. He's going to kill me!
"You move one more time," he whispered menacingly. "I am going to shove my cock in you and fuck you like the little cumslut you are." I whined when he bit my shoulder painfully, I was pretty sure it drew blood. "You understand?"
When I didn't respond, he bit my shoulder harder. "Speak when told to," he growled.
"Yes! Yes! Okay, okay! Please," I cried like a wounded animal, - well, I am now - and he lets my shoulders go.
"Good. If you're a good girl, I won't do anything," he chuckled. He gave me soft kisses on the area he bit. "You poor thing..."
This was much worse than I thought. I hate this, I hate every single moment of this. I had noticed early on that if I did as he said, he would be fine, but the moment I acted up, he would get rougher.
"Anyway," he said sarcastically. "I don't want your money."
"Why not?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
He laughed amusingly. He had an infuriatingly attractive laugh. If only it wasn't too dark, I could have seen his face too. "Because money can't get me what I want right now."
I frowned. "I'm going to call the police on you," I stated, my voice shaking, hoping that he'd get intimidated enough.
"Cute," he chuckled lowly.
"Please, don't do this," I begged loudly.
"Why not?" he clicked his tongue. "I promise that I wouldn't do anything you don't want."
"I don't want you here," I sniffled.
"Don't say that," he replied tensely, his grip on my hands tightening as well.
There was nothing more I wished for right now than somebody to help me. My mind drifted to Mr. Choi. He would have helped me if I asked. I regretted not getting his number like everyone did.
Even with the odd encounter in the car with him, I knew him to be of moral standards and he would help. He was the only one I knew big and strong enough to take this stranger down.
He finally let my hands go and I tensed as I felt him moving in on top of me. I whimpered when his hands spread my legs so he could lay down on me in between them. I blushed both in anger and embarrassment. I had no underwear tonight and I can feel his erection straining through his pants.
His mouth found mine and my eyes flew open immediately. He gave me an open mouthed kiss before pulling away to grasp the back of my neck.
"Look at me," he demanded roughly. I shook my head aggressively and in rebellion and turned my head to the side in spite. He can honestly kiss my ass---
"Oh," I rasped when his hand started to massage and knead my inner thighs. I winced when his mouth started to attack my neck again. This time he roughly bit and sucked, his tongue swirled all over the sensitive parts of my skin as his hands slowly went higher and higher at a dangerous pace.
I was overwhelmed with the odd mixture of pain, fear, pleasure, and hopelessness. The way his hot breath hit my ears was so distracting too.
"Doll, look at me," he whispered against my ear in a tortured voice. "I want to see your beautiful face."
"Please, stop! I really don't want to," I gritted my teeth.
He chuckled. "We'll see."
He lifts my nightgown up to my hips and before I knew it, his nimble fingers grazed my pussy. I was petrified, heat ignited my whole being. I hear his shaky breaths against my ear and I fight off the urge to even breathe, myself.
"Stop it, please, stop," I begged through my broken cries.
He ignored my pleas as he played with little tufts of my hair down there. I didn't shave, yes, but I wasn't expecting this either. He traces my pussy lips with a finger, sliding up and down, and I couldn't stop the moan from my lips when he goes in between.
"That feel good?" he whispered, his voice taut. He groaned when my body shakes beneath him as he circled my swollen clit. "I can give you more than this."
"N-No, please, I-I think I'm good," my voice trembled from the sensation.
"Then look at me," he commanded, his voice back to its kind tone as he coaxed me. "Please, doll."
"I don't know you enough for that type of connection," I swallowed. "Just get this over with."
"But you do know me, have you forgotten?" he mused, his fingers slowing down. I tried to rack my brain for anything, but there was nothing. When I didn't reply, he sighed. "I guess not."
His form went from slight amusement to a detrimental, subtle disappointment. I can feel his despondent stare penetrate through myself, and it was then I realized that he was actually disappointed at my lack of response.
"That man in the car earlier," he began. "Who's that?"
I was confused at first, then I remembered what he was referring to. Terror washed over me, he was watching me when San had taken me home?
"A friend," I curtly replied, making it short and hopefully he'll buy it.
He scoffed lightly and removed his hands from my aching cunt. I was pleasantly surprised when he actually got off me and sat on the edge of the bed with his back turned on me. I breathed a sigh of relief but not for long because he still seemed like he wanted to ask more and I was right.
"A friend, huh?" he scoffed again. "It didn't seem like it earlier. There was definitely a connection there."
I gulped. This man was dangerous. He was watching close enough to know the difference. I had to tell him the truth. "It wasn't like that," I bit my lip. "Mr. Choi has always been kind, he's a key figure in the complex."
His back tenses. "Why? You think you don't have a chance or something?"
"That thought never even crossed my mind," I sighed.
"Why?"
His voice was very strained. I paused, not knowing what to say. It was unnerving and the silence was making me sweat. I stared at his form and I almost gasped when I looked up at his face.
I couldn't see it but the shadows in his side profile blew my mind. This man was clearly handsome, not that it mattered since he was a creep, but I don't know. Maybe I was expecting a drunkard of an imp. Certainly not this one.
He clenched his jaw and I had to restrain the cynicism in my eyes. "Is it the age gap?"
My eyes widened in surprise. How did he know? San definitely didn't look that old from afar. That or I'm the one who looks old.
"W-Well, not necessarily," I stammered. "Though that is a huge factor, yes." I had this urge to tell him the truth, I don't know why. "Plus, there's no way Mr. Choi would look at me in that way."
"How would you know? You never once spared even a glance in my direction."
I was confused at what he was referring to. He did say that I knew him, but I certainly don't remember anyone that I was close with enough for me to look at them. The physical aspect too, this man is big and sturdy, I don't remember...
My brows furrowed in concentration as the man stood up from my bed and my breath halted. That was a lie, I did know someone who looked like this.
He stepped into the light and I audibly gasped. I'd always known he was incredibly good-looking but the light that the moon gave him did him justice. His jawline was exquisite, such a contrast to his cat-like features, and by God, his body.
He stared at me with a seriousness I'd never seen him wear before as he took his grey suit off. He was left with a black turtleneck sweater that did nothing to hide his large biceps from me.
"S-San?" I uttered his name before I could stop myself, sitting up so I could take a good look at him and determine if he was an apparition or not.
I couldn't help the shock and the dread that came over me. The one person, I had been putting up on a pedestal, the one man I had been thinking of asking for help in my dire situation was none other my intruder.
"I am deeply disappointed with you, Y/N. Truly," he shook his head in mock concern and crossed his arms over his chest.
San stared at me as I attempted to cover my almost naked body with my blanket and a couple of pillows. "That's not going to help your case," he smirked.
"I'm going to scream," I said indignantly. San raised a brow in amusement. "I mean it, please get out! I won't tell anyone---"
"Scream, if you must," he shrugged nonchalantly, walking closer to the bed again. "I paid the neighbours for vacation. They're probably halfway across the world now," he grinned sadistically.
I gasped when he put his arms on the bed, leaned on me, and whispered in my ear. "It's just you and me, doll. So go ahead, scream. It turns me on."
I pushed him away from me hastily and edged myself to the corner of my bed. "You're a monster!" I screamed.
San laughed loudly. "Finally," he mused. "I was so sick of playing nice with you. I like you like this. You look prettier."
The way he laughed out loud maniacally and sadistically scared me almost half to death. It was loud, deep, and menacing and it reminded me of how the devil would laugh if it existed.
I was alone, so screaming really wouldn't do anything. And I certainly wasn't going to knowingly do anything that was going to excite him. That was a terrifying thought.
The fact that it was the Choi San - the well-known gentleman, the man who was known to always smile despite everything, the one who drove me home without anything in return, at that time at least, and the person who was beloved by everybody from children to elderly people.
And the one I had admired from afar because of those qualities. I felt betrayed, and it hurt more than I'd like to admit.
We stared at each other for a moment, unmoving. San's icy glare was shrouded with the unmistakable fire of anger and lust, and I was afraid of how he would hurt me if he had become a little too unstable.
"You're a sociopath," I declared after the awkward silence.
He raised his brows in a seemingly displeased manner, but at the same time, I knew he was amused. "Oh? Pray tell, my pretty doll," he mocks. "Enlighten me."
"I mean it," I declared, exasperated. "Y-You can't just break into my apartment like this and expect me to like you afterwards! You're sick in the head!"
He sighed, looking away from and staring at the window he broke into. For a second, I thought he was rethinking his actions, but no. He wasn't the Choi San I knew him to be anymore, I wasn't sure how far his instability would take me.
He side-eyes me, I looked back expectantly. "You can just give in to me or we can do this the hard way," San convinced, his tone calm but persuasive. He knew he had the charm and he was using it to his advantage.
"You took that option away from me when you forced your way in here and touched me in ways I didn't want," I scoffed.
I was about to say more choice words, when San whipped his head towards me fast and I noticed his eye twitching slightly and the veins popping on his forehead while he looked at me long, too long, and hard. I gulped. He was angry.
I know I shouldn't, I know that I'm digging my own grave here by talking back at him but I can't help it. Whether it was the betrayal, one only I knew, or the adrenaline, I wasn't sure.
"I wouldn't be so sure, Y/N," he hid his annoyance with arrogance. It was the first time he said my name tonight and it dripped with venom. "Come hell or high water, I will make you mine."
The conviction in San's voice at his confession was nothing short of astounding and the way he's looking at me right now, I can't stand the intensity of it - he would rather take death than failure right now.
"And who do you think you are?" I was irked, really irked actually. It was the easiest way to hide my panic. "And if I say no?"
San smirked, darkness shrouding his features like he was waiting for me to screw up and say something stupid so he had an excuse to finally say what he's been wanting to say.
"I'm going to fuck you," San dared, no hint of amuse left in his tone. "The plan was to make you submit, but if it's impossible, then I'll just take you. The choice is yours."
I was taken aback. "You wouldn't," I whispered.
San cocked his head to the side. "Would you like to test that theory?"
I can tell he was serious, too. I haven't known him well, but tonight was not the night to test his integrity and if he was a man of his word.
"Can we just do this next time?" I begged. "I-I can come up with a better proposition for us--"
"No," he quickly cut off. "I already called out of your work earlier, anyway. We have all night and morning."
My face contorts in confusion. "What?" I apprehensively asked.
San started to stalk towards me until he was at the end of the bed. I gulped, the way his muscles rippled against his clothes emphasized just how big he was and how powerless I was.
He poked his tongue against the inside of his cheeks as he looked down on me, literally and figuratively. He exuded a power that you can't touch, and honestly, it made me realize how truly dominant he was.
"I know everything about you, doll," he said as he took his wristwatch off and placed it on my bedside table. "I wanted you the moment I saw you for the first time."
I was tense and I watched him take his necklace out next while maintaining eye contact with me. "I kept asking around about you because for some reason, we never were in the same place together. You know what they said?"
I swallowed restlessly when he started to unbuckle his belt next. "You were the sweetest, kindest, and now that I'm up close and personal, the most innocent thing too."
His eyes darkened by the second and it reminded me of that sharp and scathing look I thought I saw on him earlier before I got in his car. It clicked; which one was the real San?
"I know everything about you, my doll, except for one thing," he smirked before he took his turtleneck sweater off. "I don't know how you sound when I'm inside you, yet."
"You can't do this," I whimpered pathetically, trying not to look at how unfortunately beautiful his naked torso was.
His smirks widened. "You asked me in the car earlier if I had a family." Finally, his pants were off too. "I could give you one right now."
I didn't even have the time to look at his body - both in embarrassment and denial - and I let out a loud cry of protest when San grabbed my legs again and pulled me towards him. I kicked to try and stop him from having a good grip, but he was too strong.
"Hey, stop! Get off of me!" I screamed when he got on top of me and pinned me down on my back again. He secured me by pinning my legs as well with his knees. "Stop!"
His hand covers my mouth and my screams drowned into a muffled cry instead. "Shut the fuck up," he hissed. My eyes widened in terror at his threatening tone.
His eyes were so dark, fierce, intense, and domineering and it was then that it sunk in that he really was going to have his way with me. I groaned when he bucked his hip onto my stomach. I panicked, I could tell that it was going to tear me into two.
"Get off me, you bastard!" I growled when San took his hand off my mouth.
He laughed that attractive laugh of his again, the dimples that made me like him popping out once more. "You don't listen well, huh? I told you to shut up."
"And I told you to leave me alone!" I snapped back. His eyes twinkle in amusement. "So both of us are bad at listening then!"
In an adrenaline rush, I spit on him, and my saliva landed directly on the corner of his mouth. He was surprised for a second before he covered it up with annoyance. "You're getting on my nerves," he chuckled without humour.
Without breaking eye contact with me, he stuck his tongue out and slowly, sensually, licked my spit for him to swallow. I feel a gush of wetness between my legs and my cheeks burn in embarrassment while I whine in denial.
He raised a brow, pleased. "Don't fight on this. Your body knows what it wants."
"Go to hell," I growled in refutation.
His eyes narrowed into slits. "What's that?" San spat out in anger.
His hand hastily grabs the front of my nightgown with such force that the straps both broke. I gasped and then groaned in pain when his hand grabbed my exposed breasts painfully.
"Please," I croaked, my voice strained. "Don't hurt me."
A startled cry escaped from my lips when he bit down on my hardened nipple and tears formed from my eyes. He looked up at me and his eyes softened when he saw the pitiful state I was in.
"Be still," mumbled apologetically. "I won't hurt you."
I exhaled in relief but that relief quickly washed off of me at San's next words.
"If you listen to what I tell you, I won't hurt you."
"Please, I can't do--ah!" I yelped when he bit my nipple again.
"I wasn't asking," he hissed. His tone left me no chance to argue with him.
I can feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over at San's threats. But I was a virgin! It's not that I was a prude or I thought I was better than anyone else, no man has held my interest enough and most of them were after my body more than me as a person.
I bit my bottom lip hard when San's mouth started gently kissing my chest and then his mouth closed around my nipple while he played with other.
"Wait," I whimpered when he started to gently suck, his tongue flicking out to lick them and then twirled it around his tongue. It was something new for me and I couldn't help but shake.
"Relax, doll," he murmured in between his sucks.
Tingles filled my whole body, and I felt something tickling down there. Pleasure radiated all over and body in ways I couldn't understand and I started to moan uncontrollably.
I looked down and saw San already looking up at me while he continued licking the sensitive bud. It was such an erotic sight and before I knew it, a wave of pleasure sent my body into shock and I began spasming against San's chest.
San held me in his arms and let go of my nipple with a small 'pop'. I buried my face onto his chest in shame - I had just orgasmed with my nipples, alone.
San gently laid me back and we stared at each other wide-eyed, both of us clearly shocked at what just happened. Surprisingly, San doesn't comment on it. He leans in and gives me a kiss on my forehead.
"Good girl," he murmured. He put my arms around his neck and he buried his head on my neck and rocked my back and forth. "That's my good girl, just relax, okay? I got you..."
The way he was looking at me with such tender eyes and there was an expression in it that I couldn't exactly pinpoint. His soothing voice filled my ears and I let myself get lost in San for a moment.
"My pretty girl, oh, my Y/N..."
"Everything about you is so beautiful to me."
"I adore you so much, you know?"
"You are so perfect, and you are mine."
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I broke away from a confused San and my tears started to fall from my face. This was so wrong, what was I doing? But he felt so good with me...
"Baby doll, please don't cry," he pleaded.
"I can't do this," I started to try and get up. "Please get away from me..."
He releases a sigh and holds me in place. "Listen to me," his voice held an edge to it. I turned my head rebelliously and gasped when he held my jaw tightly and forced me to look at him. "Listen," he growled, eyes glazed in unparalleled anger.
I was having a small panic attack. "I just need a moment---"
San slapped my already aching jaw with a force enough for me to get out of it, but not enough for me to bawl in pain. "Listen to me," he snapped. "Silence. Not a sound from you."
I nodded my head quickly, afraid. "If you resist, I will punish you," he threatened. "And you know how I'm going to do it?"
I held in a whimper, truly afraid since San had this crazed manic expression on his face that I've never, ever seen him have. "Well," he smirked. "Let's hope you don't find out."
He gets up and quickly drags me using my arms to straddle him. "Wrap your hands around me," he demanded.
I did as asked and he grabbed my hips to immobilize me. San looked up at me with such intensity and I can't help but look away. I felt exposed and humiliated and I couldn't help but let out a small moan when I felt his hardness twitch underneath me.
"What was that?" he mocked. "What did I tell you about making a sound, you whore?"
I breathed hard and heavy, my exposed breasts moving about, but I didn't answer him back, scared that my response would trigger him.
"Answer me," he demanded.
"P-Punish," I stuttered pathetically.
"Correct," San grinned and it resembled a rabid animal who was ready to pounce on its unsuspecting victim. "Little sluts like you need to be dominated."
I was wide-eyed when he grabbed my hair and manually moved my head up and down. "That's right," he laughed sadistically. "Good girl."
San leaned in and put his lips against mine in a rough kiss. When I refused, he pulled the back of my hair again until I gasped in pain. His tongue plunged inside my mouth and I tried to turn but he painfully pulled my hair again as he moved away slightly.
"Stop it," he whispered against my lips. "I'm not going to hurt you."
He pushed my head and he kissed me again, this time, more gentle and more considerate. I tried to see what he was going to do if I moved, and true to my suspicions, I felt his hand tightening against my hair again.
Having no choice, I gave in to what he wanted. San groaned in my mouth and pressed his harder, playing with my tongue sensually as he massaged my tits. My skin began to feel warm and my heart began to beat faster and faster and I was pretty sure he felt it. Or was that his own heart beating with mine?
When San touched my cheek with frenzied motions, I hissed and I couldn't help but moan in protest. He pulled back and tenderly touched my face where a bruise was forming.
"What happened?" he asked softly. "Was it..?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, I-I mean, well, I barely felt the slap and you didn't even do it hard."
It was true. I don't mean to defend his actions, he's an asshole for that but even in a haze, I felt him repressing and it was only meant to break my panic attack.
"I'm sorry, doll, please tell me what happened," San murmured apologetically, his words somewhat loving.
I hesitated but the look in his eyes was so soft that I just had to. It was the gentle San that everyone knew him for when everyone would ask for his advice and wisdom. I bit my lip, remembering that there was a time where I almost went to him.
"Earlier in the car," I began muttering. "I didn't meet up with friends, I-I, uhm..."
"Go on," San assured me, tenderly rubbing my arms.
"I didn't meet up with my friends like I said I did," I revealed. "My ex called to try and get back with me. He got handsy when I-I said no."
His hands tighten on my arms and his eyes transform into a murderous glare. He pulls me into a hug and pulls away. "I'm going to fucking kill him," he cursed under his breath intensely.
"And you," he continued, putting my face in his hands. "You will never, ever interact with him ever again. You're going to tell me if he bothers you again, okay?"
I nodded apprehensively, unsure of what to say. "Good," San kissed my forehead. I bit back a cry of surprise when he laid me down on the bed and started to crawl his way down.
"W-Wait, what are you doing?" I panicked when he lifted the other half of my nightgown and lifted my legs to rest on his shoulders.
"I'm going to make you forget about that scum," he declared like he was telling me the weather. "Until you only know me."
I was still confused as he hadn't taken his boxers off, that is, until I finally got a good look at him. He was handsome, the type that can bring you to your knees. His dark hair was disheveled and when my eyes traveled down to his chest, I wasn't surprised to see that he was fit and the muscles on his abdominal area were very prominent.
The arms he used to leave my legs up were massive and I can tell he spent a lot on the gym working them out. However, it was nothing compared to the tent he had on his boxers. I'm not one to usually comment on it, but I can tell he was big. It's super cliche and honestly, it made me cringe to even think about, but I've only heard of that size in the novels I read.
"You look so beautiful," he suddenly said. His stare was so intense and serious that I couldn't help but blush. "I mean it, Y/N. You're beautiful. I'm going to make you believe it."
Before I could say anything, I felt his fingers touch my slit. I bit my lip to stop the moan that threatened to pass my lips, but when San pressed on my clit, I had to let out a muffled mewl.
"Don't hold back on me now," he smirked, rubbing my nub gently at first. "I told you, you will forget everything but me."
My eyes widened when he licked his fingers and went back down there. The roughness of fingers added a new sensation I never thought I'd feel and it was bringing me such shame that I was even feeling this way.
"San, please," I mewled again when he added more pressure in his ministrations.
Suddenly, his fingers were gone and it was quickly replaced by his mouth. "San!" I screamed in surprise.
I felt him laugh and the vibration of it caused me to arch my back and accidentally rub myself in his mouth. San took advantage of this and dove his tongue between my folds, lapping at anything he could get his tongue on.
"Just like that, doll, " he spoke in between his licking and sucking.
I moaned loudly, my hands grabbing on the blankets in pleasure. He kissed my clit and gently suctioned on it, releasing it and doing it again and that tingling sensation from down there came back, but this one felt different; stronger.
"San, stop, it feels weird," I moaned and sighed, closing my eyes involuntarily and shaking a bit against San's mouth.
"Quiet," he murmured, ignoring my plea and continuing on.
I choked on my breath when I felt his finger slip inside my pussy while he still licked. It hurt a bit, but nothing crazy. He pushed deeper and farther, until he stopped unexpectedly and quickly got up to look at my face with the most shocked expression I've ever seen him have.
"You're a virgin," he reeled in disbelief. "You're a virgin?"
I looked at him wide-eyed, embarrassed. My breath was quicker and it made me breathless. "I am," I admitted.
"B-But how? You're so beautiful," he stammered, clearly still in shock.
"I-I've been waiting for the right person."
He closed my legs, leaned his forehead on my knees, and a deep groan that was similar to a suffering soldier sounded at the back of his throat. He laid there for a moment until he got up from the bed and paced around my room.
I was left laying down on the bed as I watched him go through something akin to a midlife crisis. My virginity was the reason why my ex left me and why nobody stayed with me. I wanted someone true, someone I was sure I wanted to be with and vice versa.
San briskly walked around, stopping to face palm himself, then stayed in his spot to raise his head in frustration. He collected himself before he marched towards me with a stormy expression.
He leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled away and walked off to where his clothes were and started putting them on.
His gaze was steely when he looked at me. "I'm leaving," he said, voice tight.
I sat up slowly as I watched him put his sweater last and then his jewelry, a little surprised at the turn of events. "You are?" I couldn't help but ask, slightly confused.
San nodded. "I am."
I wasn't complaining at all. This was a blessing in disguise. "I don't get it," I said as I covered my exposed chest with a blanket. "Why now?"
San exhaled a sharp breath, barely controlling himself. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and he opened them again, he looked so tortured.
"Y/N, I cannot touch you," he whispered. "I want you so fucking bad. I don't just want you. I need you."
I couldn't breath, my chest was so tight. He exhaled a sharp breath again. "I won't be able to stop myself right now if I don't leave. I want to fuck you so bad, stick my dick in you and fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name."
"But not like this," he shook his head. "I don't want your first to be like this. I don't want to hurt you."
I was so stunned at his admission. "So we're...done here?" I asked softly, unsure of what was even happening.
"Yes. We are."
"What now, then? What's going to happen after this?"
San paused. "I don't know. I'll live my life, and you'll go back to ignoring me."
"Alright," I whispered. I was trembling as I tried to mend the straps of my nightgown enough for me to wear it temporarily so I wasn't too exposed in front of San. Not that it mattered, he's seen everything.
I stood up from my bed and San headed through the door to leave when he suddenly paused. He turned around and faced me hesitantly. "Have a good night," he said.
I nodded and turned to look at the damaged window where he came through earlier to break in my room. "How am I supposed to fix this?" I lamented.
He turned and marched towards the window and inspected it closely. I stared at the way he furrowed and unfurrowed his brows in concentration.
He stared me down and back at the window and he definitely got snappy. "I'll pay somebody to fix it tomorrow," he announced tensely.
"Why are you mad?" I asked.
He raised a brow. "I'm not," he denied.
I frowned but I let it go. "There's going to be a storm tomorrow," I sighed. "Nobody in their right mind will come down tomorrow."
"Can you call your parents right now?" San asked gruffly.
I shook my head. "They live abroad."
His brows raise in surprise and curiosity but he doesn't dwell on it. "Friends?"
"I didn't lie when I said they lived in the next city."
He ran his fingers on his hair with annoyance, his tongue poking his cheek with a scowl. "Doll, you can't stay here."
I smiled without humour in irony. I wanted to tell him that technically, this problem I'm having right now is his fault but I don't. I'm too tired to argue.
I heard him sigh. "Get dressed," he said. "I have tools in my apartment that we can both grab so I can do it today, myself."
"Okay," I murmured.
San nodded. "I'll wait outside."
When I was done, I saw San leaning towards my doorway and I had to suppress staring at him. He looked good, but he looked aggravated when he saw me, and he reached down for my hand and he began walking us through the complex.
I breathlessly tried to keep up with him. This is going to be the first time I'm seeing where San's apartment is. His hand felt warm in mine and without pausing, he walked both of us to the furthest part of the complex.
"No wonder we barely saw each other," I couldn't help but state. "You live on the other side."
He didn't reply. He took one glance at me and continued walking. I followed him obediently without question.
I had an idea where he was leading me. The complex was split into three parts - the regular kind, the modernized kind, and the luxurious kind. I lived on the second one, and true to my suspicions, San lived on the third kind.
"You live here?" I asked in awe.
I was so fascinated with this area and the fact that San was known to everybody. People here barely interact with anybody, that would mean that San would go out of his way to go join and seek out the people in the regular part.
I was so taken aback by my own thoughts that I didn't realize that we were by his door.
"Yes, almost two years now," he replied flatly. "After you."
Unsurprisingly, the interior looked grand and deluxe, albeit a little empty. It made sense, San seemed like a minimalist person and it showed both in how he dressed and designed his home.
He tilted his head towards a door at the end of the hallway. "Tools should be over there," he said, not looking me in the eye. "Let's go."
It was obvious that this was his bedroom when we both went in. The room was large, there was a king sized bed in the middle of it and a couple of pictures hung all over the area. I went and inspected them closely and saw that he was with a couple of people.
"Family?" I asked.
He hummed in response while he took his suit off and hung them somewhere. "Sort of. They're lifelong friends."
He stepped towards the bedroom door, closed it slowly, and turned the lock before he faced me. I was confused, when he looked at me, his eyes were the darkest I have ever seen.
"Get on the bed," he commanded. "I'm going to fuck you."
I didn't fully understand what he said. I thought I heard him wrong, but he was dead serious. "W-What?"
His eyes never left me as he stalked towards me like a predator. "I said," his tone was grim. "Get on the bed."
My eyes widened and the wind was knocked out of my chest. "B-But you said you weren't going to touch me," I whimpered.
"I know what I said," he snapped, his jaw clenching hard. "I'm taking it back."
San stepped forward and stopped a couple of feet away from me. I stared at him wary and not knowing what to do. I'm sure my eyes held terror. "Don't do this," I pleaded.
I yelped when San pushed me on the bed. He stood by it and watched me scramble to get up. I was truly frightened at the person in front of me. He leaned over and placed his hands on the bed while he stared at me.
"You don't get it do you?" San grimaced. "There are no tools. At least, not in my bedroom."
My eyes widened in realization. His eyes narrowed in veiled anger as he continued. "Why would you come here with me? I broke into your apartment and almost took you against your will! Do I look like the safest person to be with right now?"
My chest fell and ragged breaths escaped me, but he wasn't done yet. "Don't you think with your brain?" San hissed. "You are at my mercy right now. If I want to take you, no one would know."
"Are you going to...?" I whispered.
His scowl deepened. "Yes."
It all happened too fast and I had no time to dispute him. My shirt and pants were off in less than a minute and he slammed me against the bed.
"San, wait---"
I gasped when he slid a finger inside me quickly and I was unable to stop the small whimper of pleasure I felt. That felt a little too good. I didn't even notice that his clothes were gone too, and I couldn't help but look down.
My suspicions were unfortunately right - he was not small. And he was hard. I may be a virgin, but of course I knew what dicks looked like. It was very imposing, it made my heart beat with hesitation and a little fear.
I tensed when he got on top of me and I felt him kiss my forehead softly. "I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.
I subconsciously pressed my fingers on his shoulder, trying hard not to look up at him or even inhale. The scent of him, alone, was driving me mad. I felt him hot and hard, pressing against my hole, and he thrust in bit by bit.
"Oh God, San, I can't," I cried out. The pain was so intense that it brought hot tears to my eyes. I heard him groan when I clawed his back.
"I'm sorry, I'll be careful," San cooed as he gave me tiny, little kisses here and there.
A strangled cry was torn from me when I felt him move again. His pleasure filled moans hit my ears, the vibrations from his chest sending tingles to my spine. "San..."
"Just a bit more, baby," he whispered. "You can take it, I know you can..."
He made small, gentle thrusts and I couldn't help but applaud the patience he had for this. I can feel how he was dying to just thrust in one go. I groaned again, fully wrapping my arms around his neck, in pain. I knew it was painful for the first time, but this pain was a bit too much.
"Fuck," he hissed, looking down at me with lust in his eyes. "I'm sorry, are you alright?"
I nodded and he took it as his signal to push in a little more. When he completely bottomed out, I couldn't help but moan loudly. The pain felt like the good kind.
"Oh fuck," he groaned. "Your cunt was made for me."
He pressed a hot kiss on my shoulder. The dirty talk was making me dizzy and I felt warm tingles spread all over my skin. San stayed inside me, unmoving, for a while and we decided I've warmed up enough, he began thrusting.
"San, it hurts," I yelped in slight pain. If I was being honest, it felt unbelievably good.
"Just take it for now, baby, it's going to feel better soon, I promise," he pecked my lips before he buried head on my shoulders.
And he was right. I swallowed a moan when San began to pick up the pace a bit. I didn't realize that I was moving my hips to his pace until I heard San whisper the dirtiest things in my ear.
"Y/N, fuck, Y/N, Y/N," San moaned my name like a prayer with each vicious thrust of his hips. "Doll, please tell me I can go faster than this, please."
I moaned in response, not being able to formulate a single word. San goes from fully gentle to straight up rearranging my insides. "San, San, t-too fast!"
Each thrust of his cock sent shockwaves through my body and it didn't take too long for my laboured breathing to turn into wanton moans with the way he went in and out with his quick rhythm. I felt him twitching, pulsating, inside of me and I squeezed.
"Don't do that, baby," San groaned. "God, you feel so fucking good…”
He pushed onto me and took my mouth in a stormy, demanding kiss. I felt his hand reaching from my hip to my front and his fingers pressed up to my clit.
"You like this, doll?" San asked tentatively.
I nodded my head and kissed his neck. "I do, don't stop."
His fingers stroke me, his thrusts not slowing down. Tears from the slight pain and pleasure combined fell from my eyes and his speed built back up, slamming into me so hard, I screamed loudly over and over again.
"Just like, Y/N, come, yes, come for me," San bit my shoulder and it was over.
It was my first orgasm from fucking and my body spasmed against him so hard, San had to hold me down.
"Fuck, oh fuck, you feel so fucking good," San's muffled moans felt intense against my skin. "You're mine, okay?"
"S-San, oh, San---"
I screamed when he grabbed my hair and bit my ear. "Say it," he growled. "Say you're fucking mine."
"San---"
"Say it, goddamn it, fucking say it!"
His thrusts got more brutal, ferocious, more ruthless. "Okay, okay!" I moaned. "I'm all yours!"
"Fuck," he got out and thrusted back in roughly. I saw stars then and there. "You're mine, you're mine, fuck.”
His thrust went even faster than before, the bed was squeaking very loud, and the slapping of skin against skin more obscene than before. It was agonizing as I was still sensitive and I felt another wave of pleasure come, but this time, there was no pain.
"S-San, f-fuck, I-I can't---"
"I want my cum in you," he abruptly cut off, slamming into me so hard I was afraid I would bruise just from his thrusts alone. "God, I want my fucking cum in you."
"Please," I cried. "I-I can't do this anymore---"
He shushed me gently, slowing his thrusts down, but it was worse because he was doing long, deep thrusts instead. "One more, baby," he murmured. "Give me one more and I'll stop."
He kissed me hard. "I'm going to fucking pump you full of cum, doll, I'm going to breed the fuck out of you, fuck, this body deserves to be filled up..."
His words did something to me and I just came without warning. I screamed, my body shaking, shuddering beneath him. I felt warm liquid gush inside me and San's deep groans hit my ears and it felt more intense than the last.
"Good girl," San gave me a hot kiss on my neck and I shuddered.
I moaned when he pulled out, though it stung a bit. I felt his fingers dip back in there and when he put it up, we both groaned at the sight of his cum glistening and stringy against the light.
"Open up," he murmured. I hesitated but did as told anyway.
He put his cum-stained fingers inside my mouth and I grimaced at the salty, bitter taste. "I don't like it," I complained.
San laughed out loud and crashed on top of me, exhausted. I almost fell asleep when I felt him get up and leave the room. It hit me of what I have just done, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
I groaned in protest when I felt something cold and wet down there and I opened my eyes to see it was San concentrating on cleaning me up like he was getting paid to do it with a damp towel gently and slowly.
"Thanks," I murmured. "I...should get going."
He stares at me, all traces of roughness, maliciousness, and sociopathy gone on his face. He looked like the San I'd come to admire from afar before all of this happened.
He titled his head. "Why?"
I frowned. "Isn't this customary? I'm not sure if you want me to stay. People will see, it's already morning."
"Let them see," he shrugged. "Of course I want you to stay. Plus, it's not like it's much of a secret, anyway."
That piqued my curiosity and all traces of sleep went away. "What do you mean?"
He finished cleaning me up, discarded the towel in the nearest bin, and tucked my legs back in the softest, most comfortable blanket I've ever laid down on. It probably cost more than my whole bed set.
I blushed when he smiled at me. It wasn't a fake or imposing one - it was genuine. "I'll be right back, okay? Then we'll talk."
True to his words, he went back, but this time, he had a glass full of water and two shirts. He guided me up to sit down and brought the glass to my mouth, the only thing I had to do was make an effort to swallow. I had to suppress a satisfied moan when the water hit the back of my throat. All the screaming before and after sex...
"Arms up," he coaxed. I was confused but did so anyway. He put what I assume was his shirt on me, and then put the other shirt on his own body.
I let him do what he wanted, the resistance felt so tiring to me. This was the man that violated me in every way possible, yet why do I feel this pull towards him?
I already knew the answer - there was always something there. Now that he had taken my virginity, the pull has increased tenfold, and the way he was so sweet to me was a mystery on its own.
"So, how many?" I asked when he laid down next to me and put my head against his chest.
"How many what?" San asked.
"You know," I gestured between the two of us. "How many girls have you done this to?"
I was referring to the break in. He frowned and shook his head. "I am deeply offended, but I understand so I can't be mad. The answer is zero."
"You expect me to believe that?" I deadpanned. "You were an expert in being a criminal."
"It's not that," he sighed. "I can't count the times I stayed awake in this very bed and pretended you were mine. That was enough practice on its own."
He kissed the top of my head. "And I told you," he continued. "It's not a secret."
"What do you mean, San?"
"I wasn't subtle about it, everyone literally knew I liked you," he chuckled. "No offense doll, but you're dense as fuck."
"Funny," I muttered, unimpressed.
San laughed. "No, seriously. I did everything to try and get your attention, I sent flowers to your doorstep every Friday, for God's sake."
My eyes widen and I look up at him. "That...was you?"
"Who did you think it was?"
I paused, hesitant, remembering his words earlier. "M-My ex..."
It was the reason why I even met up with him in the first place. I thought he was trying to win me back using his cheap ways. San stared at me, and I could see the anger slowly rising in his eyes, but alas, in the end he ignored it, thankfully.
"Hmm," he hummed. "If he tries something, tell me. I'm not just saying this just because of what happened between us, but as a human being concerned for another's well-being. What he did was wrong."
I nodded. That seemed fair for now. I tried to suppress the blush that was threatening to flare my cheeks up. His words make it difficult for me to hate him, for now.
"Having said that," he cleared his throat. "I tried to chauffeur you too, at the bus station."
"And I meant it when I said I didn't want to impose," I mumbled.
"The point is, anyone with two eyes can see it, doll. I always seeked you out of everyone," he sighed.
He cupped my face in his hands and looked straight into my eye. "I know you have feelings for me, and it's driving me crazy that you haven't realized it yet. I'm sorry it had to be this way."
"But what you did was wrong," I frowned, putting my small hands on his to push him away so he wouldn't see how distraught I was because he was telling the truth. "Just because I'm not putting up a fight, doesn't mean I'm happy. Why did you do it?"
San looked so crestfallen and I hesitated for a bit. "I...don't know," he admitted. "I'm so, so sorry, doll. Please don't push me away."
"You don't even know anything about me besides the basics" I sighed.
Held my hand tenderly. "Then let's try now," he smiled tightly, hopefully. "You said your parents were abroad, where?"
I stared at him, giving in eventually. "Yes. In London," I replied tentatively. It was a lie, but he won't know.
"Ah. Migrants?"
"No, I laughed a bit. "I was actually born there."
"So you have that accent?" San teased.
"Maybe, you tell me," I said with the said accent.
I reveled in his surprised face. "So why are you here, then?" San asked, genuinely interested.
"We went here for a vacation but I fell in love being here and yeah, I stayed," I chuckled. "It's probably why I caught your eye, because I moved differently."
San shook his head at me. "No," he said. "You would've caught my eye, regardless, United Kingdom or not."
He hesitated, pausing. "I know you're lying."
It was my turn to be surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Why you're here," he said. I was about to say something when he cut me off. "It's okay, you can tell me when you're ready."
I smiled at him. "Maybe one day."
"I'm just a little concerned about the age gap for now," he confessed. "And I know you are too."
"It's not that," I clarified. "Someone your age would prefer looking for someone your age, not someone ten years younger."
"Does it bother you?" San raised a brow.
"No, not in the slightest," I replied truthfully.
For the first time after we were done, San gave me a genuine smile. It was the type that reached his eyes; the type that reached a part of my heart I've been denying.
The next day, I woke up alone in San's bed on what seemed to be in the middle of the afternoon.
I couldn't suppress a hiss when I sat up. Besides my pussy, my entire body felt sore. I'm not surprised, we literally went straight into it. It made me realize that I was so out of shape and I needed to catch up.
When I felt the side of the bed, it was still relatively warm. San must've gotten up half an hour before me.
Which wasn't a bad thing. Now that I'm alone in my thoughts, I can focus on thinking about what to do from here not just for me and San, but for myself without him. I couldn't deny that the sex was mind blowing, but I had basically forfeited any real chance I had to erase myself from San's life and vice versa.
Giving in was a no-brainer. No matter how hard I tried, I knew all my efforts would have been proven futile in the grand scheme of things. I screwed myself up, however. And now, I want more.
After some more thinking, I decided to get up and talk to San. I put back on my underwear but I didn't bother wearing some pants, and San's shirt was large anyway. I just have to be careful not to bend over.
I was instantly hit with the smell of food when I got close to the kitchen, after much exploring, and my stomach began to rumble uncontrollably.
San was sitting by the kitchen island drinking a cup of coffee. He typed away on his laptop with furrowed brows. I watched the man I spent the night with - he wore a black shirt paired with black jeans yet he still managed to look good.
My heart palpitated when I realized he was wearing a pair of glasses. I've never seen him wear glasses before. He looked sophisticated, more chic, more attractive.
"Working?" I said out loud when he still didn't notice me.
San finally lifted his head up to look at me and his eyes slightly widen. I suddenly felt self-conscious when he started slowly taking in body slowly from head to toe until his eyes reached my face. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped.
"Morning, well, afternoon," he snapped out of his trance. "Come sit. I ordered some food for us."
"This is a lot," I murmured when I sat down and tried to pick what I was going to eat. "Why did you order this much?"
"I didn't know what you wanted," he shrugged. "And I didn't want to wake you up to ask, better safe than sorry. Coffee?"
I nodded awkwardly. It was harder to be normal around him than I thought. San seemingly wasn't affected at all - he was still the confident, undaunting, self-assured, and bold man I knew who I was always careful with even before all of this.
He sat back down on his chair. "Did you sleep well last night?"
"Yes."
"That's good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
I cringed at how awkward I was acting. Not that I wasn't before, but I was more so now that we've far more things that normal acquaintances do. San smirked widely at my predicament, clearly enjoying the effect he has on me.
"I'm leaving in an hour," he said. "Something came up at work, but I'll be back before sunset."
He looked at me to gauge my reaction. "I would like it if you were still here when I come back, I'll take you out to dinner. If not, I understand."
I had to stop the urge to smirk, myself. Wasn't dinner supposed to come first before the sex? This is going nowhere, I thought. It's either I talk to him now or I won't do it all. It was now or never.
"Uh, San," I cleared my throat. He looked at me expectantly and I almost backed out. "Can I talk to you?"
All the humour and mirth disappeared from his face and he became so rigid and tense right before my very eyes as if knew what I was going to say. In hindsight, we both knew he did.
"Okay," he mumbled.
I took a deep breath and laid it all out on him. "You don't need me to tell you again that taking me against my will whether or not we had sex was wrong."
San listened attentively. "You hurt my feelings," I croaked, my appetite suddenly going down. "You violated me, you couldn't approach me like a normal person? You could have knocked on my door."
Tears started to fall from my eyes but San looked twice as hurt as I did, if that was even possible. "Doll, please," he pleaded, reaching out to hold my hand but I didn't let him. He looked even more hurt. "I'm sorry, please don't say you're going to leave--"
"San, 'sorry' isn't going to cut it," I interjected rather harshly. "They way you went about this was so, so wrong. What were you even thinking?"
He didn't say anything for a while. "I don't know."
I saw red. "You don't know?" I scoffed. "What do you know?! Which one is the real San?"
"I know that my feelings for you are very, very strong," he answered without any hint of deception in his eyes. "You know who I am, Y/N."
"I wouldn't say that, you genuinely scared me last night."
He sighed before burying his face in his hands and groaning softly in frustration. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry, my doll, I'm so, so sorry. I truly am. I don't want to lose you, not like this."
When he looked up at me again, I held back a gasp of surprise when I saw his eyes glistening with tears. "I was wrong, I know I'm a piece of shit," he sniffled. "I'm sorry for scaring you, you were right, I was sick in the head. I don't know why I did what I did, and I have absolutely no excuses for it."
I felt limp and San took that opportunity to hold my hand in his and repeatedly kissed it and my heart ached. I felt lighter though, I know the apology was shit compared to what I went through, but the acknowledgement was much appreciated on my side.
"I'll make it up to you, okay?" San guaranteed. "You said you were waiting for the right person?"
He gave my hand another hot kiss. "I'm going to prove I'm the right person for you, Y/N, I promise you," he assured with desperation. "Even if it takes a lifetime, please baby, just one chance..."
Call me a bitch, but I intended to make him stew a little bit.
"One chance, San, just one," I whispered. "If you screw up, I'm going back to London."
I won't go back to London though, that was the last place I'd go, but it was just a just-in-case type of a thing if he does screw up.
San buried his face in my hand in an attempt to cover the silent cry he was pouring out of his system. "Thank you," he whispered. "Can I hug you?"
I shook my head firmly. "No," I denied. "You don't deserve anything."
San pouted, and damn it, it was cute. "Okay."
He wasn't the only one screwed anyway - I may honestly be more screwed than him. I've liked him for so long but I was always afraid that he wouldn't look at me. When he found out I was a virgin and he stopped, I fell for him a bit more. If only he didn't fuck me afterwards.
The fault wasn't his own though. I didn't push him away. For now, it was better this way so I can gauge his sincerity, especially about why I wasn't in London in the first place.
A couple of months passed since that fateful night, and true to his words, San did everything and anything possible to get into my good side.
We were the talk of the whole complex. San wasn't exactly the most private person when he was trying to show his affection. It was uncomfortable since the whole complex seemed to cheer when they found out San was trying to woo me, but I slowly got used to it.
Sometimes I would even look forward to it. I do feel a little bad sometimes because maybe I was power-tripping a little bit but the tiniest complaint from me and San would get into action.
"How was your meeting?" I asked when he entered my apartment.
He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. "Terrible," he groaned. "Bastards are trying to haggle from us with at least 30% of the original price. It's ridiculous."
I never denied him of time either. I knew I liked him so it wasn't difficult at all for me, so we would hang out at each other's places, though more him in mine than vice versa.
We were in an odd spot, we were technically together but not at the same time because we never got intimate or held hands or kissed. Not ever since that night.
"So what did you do?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Oh. I said yes."
I raised a brow in surprise. "You did? That's a huge percentage, San. "
"Don't worry," he brushed off with a smirk. "You know me, doll, I always have to get something in return. Wait here."
He went outside again and he was gone for approximately half an hour before he came back again, this time, he was carrying a box.
"What's that?" I asked out of curiosity when he set it down at the dining table.
"It's for you, my doll," he smiled. "Open it."
I hesitated, staring at him apprehensively, to which he laughed. "Seriously," San insisted. "You'll like it, I promise, there's no bugs in there or something."
I picked it up and turned it slightly. It was a lot heavier than I thought. I raised my eye to San, and he had this look that was a mixture of pride and fear of rejection. Carefully, I lifted the covers of the box and was surprised at what I saw.
"Yubari King!" I exclaimed in genuine surprise. I looked up at San and he beamed ear to ear at my expression. "San? How?"
"That 30% I was talking about earlier, I exchanged it for these babies," he carefully tapped the expensive melon. "Our client had Japanese connections, you'll get more of these soon."
When San asked if he could get me something, I mentioned these in passing because I know they were extremely difficult to find in Korea and are on the expensive side as well.
"Y-You didn't have to," I said, feeling extra guilty.
"I told you," he smiled, grabbing my hand to kiss me. "I meant it when I said I'll do anything for you."
"Thank you, San, I really appreciate it," I murmured, giving him a small hug. "You're going overboard, I'm telling you."
"I'm really not," he teased. "How about you slice that for us? I kinda wanna try it."
And that I did. The moment I bit into it, I couldn't help but moan out in satisfaction. It was so crunchy, the middle of it the sweetest I have ever tried, and it really put it into perspective why these were very expensive.
"Holy fuck," San exclaimed. "I can't believe this actually tastes good."
"What were you expecting anyway?" I teased.
"I was hoping they'd taste like shit so I couldn't justify the price," he rolled his eyes playfully.
"So thanks to you, we're eating good shit," I chuckled.
"Yeah?" San smiled. "Would it be possible to get a kiss, at least?"
I froze, my arms and legs becoming a bit rigid. San notices and visibly panics. "No, I'm sorry--"
"We agreed that I was going to do this on my own time?" I was frowning, trying very hard to keep my voice leveled, but I was shaking a bit. I put the last slice of the melon and chewed on it rather roughly.
"You're right, baby---"
"Don't call me that," I hissed.
San deflated, looking visibly upset. I felt so bad, but I can't help the way I felt. "Sorry," he whispered.
This wouldn't be the first time I had snapped at him. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I wasn't ready for any sort of intimacy with him even though I did want to give him a chance. Maybe it was the small trauma he inflicted.
Deep down, I knew it was because I was scared that once I let him in, he would stop because maybe he only wanted me for the thrill I gave him and my body.
"I'm going to take a nap," I sighed as I got up from the couch and tried to head to my room.
"Ba--Y/N, please, please, I didn't mean to make you mad," San pleaded. "What can I do to make you feel better?"
"San, I don't know, go pick some four-leaf clovers, or something," I spat, finally closing the door behind me.
When I laid down on my bed, I felt a bit lonely and cold. Today, San was supposed to sleep here. Yeah, for people not dating, we would sleep in the same bed. It was my sick way of dealing with my bad memories of him; so I can replace them with good ones.
At the far corner of my room, my eyes landed on the bouquet of the most beautiful jasmines I have been taking care of for weeks now. My eyes teared up, San gave them to me and I was floored. They were very rare where we lived.
I hit an all time low depressive state today. It had been two weeks since San and I started trying for each other and a week since I last saw even his shadow.
Oh, I was pissed alright.
I sighed, I suppose I was right in not giving him a full chance because where was he? He literally disappeared, it was infuriating. It was one thing if he talked to me before and after, but no, absolutely nothing.
But behind all that anger, was sadness. I thought we were going to have something real despite the horrible start we had.
I sighed deeply and was about to go to my room and try to sleep everything out, but my doorbell suddenly rang. I was confused, I wasn't expecting anyone.
My eyes widened. Unless it was my parents. I got nervous, I wasn't ready to face them yet after running away.
I took a deep breath and opened the door, only to be face to face with someone I thought I'd never see again.
"San?"
He thrusted a bouquet of flowers in my hand. "Hi," he whispered.
"What the hell, Choi San?" I gritted my teeth. "You disappeared for a week without telling me where you were! I thought you left for good!"
"I'm sorry, doll, I really am," he frowned. "I didn't have service in Virginia."
"Virginia?" I raised my brow in genuine surprise. "What on God's green Earth were do you doing there?"
He smiled widely, looking proud of himself. "I bought you your favourite flowers."
"What are you talking about? Those are---oh my God," I gasped audibly when I took a good look at the bouquet.
They were blue jasmines, a very uncommon species of flowers mostly found in the United States. My eyes started to tear up. "San," my lips quivered.
"I'm sorry I took so long, but you deserve the best," he assured, his smile growing bigger. "I told you I'd do anything for you."
I woke up all of a sudden, the pitter-patter of the rain hitting my windowsill loudly interrupting my nap. Suddenly, my mind went to San immediately.
I went out of my room to check if he was still here. I felt horrible for snapping at him and I intended to apologize. I was confused when I didn't see him because his jacket and phone were both still here.
"San?" I called out of nowhere while I tried to look at every nook and cranny in my room, but he was nowhere to be found.
I decided to go in my small backyard, knowing San wouldn't be there anyway, but my feet took me to my destination in my half asleep state.
I was about to leave after looking around, but my head quickly whipped back around to do a double-take. My jaw dropped instantly, I was wrong, San was here.
"Oh God," I whispered, horrified.
There he was, the big and strong man kneeling down the soaked grass searching for something in a way so concentrated, you would think he was looking for gold underneath the soil.
He was looking for a four-leaf clover. What have I done?
Without thinking, I quickly ran towards him in the pouring rain, not caring if I wasn't wearing any slippers or carrying an umbrella, I just wanted to get him out of there.
"San, you idiot!" I screamed in frustration, quickly kneeling beside him to try and get him up. "Stop it!"
He was startled at first. "Doll, you're going to get sick," he frowned. "Go inside, I'm sorry I can't find any---"
"Forget it, I didn't mean it like that, please," I begged in exasperation. "I don't want you to get sick!"
We both stood in the middle of the grassy yard, not caring if the rain hit us. "You care about me?" San asked quietly.
"Of course I care about you!" I exclaimed, stomping my feet on the ground as if it would help me explain my thoughts. "I care about you a lot, you dummy."
He revealed a dimpled smile - a smile that was only reserved for me. "I'm glad," he spoke, grabbing me by the arm, then the head, and then leaned in to give me a kiss.
I kissed him back with equal desperation. It was everything I needed right now and the sparks that traveled through our bodies were intensifying the unspoken feelings between the two of us. Yeah, intense would be the word I'd use.
Before we both knew it, our clothes were gone and we were a mess trying to have each other on my bed, not caring if we were both wet from the rain. It might sound ridiculous, but there was no other way to describe what we were doing but making love.
"This is something you want, right?" San asked. "You'll have me, and you're going to want me to have you."
"More than anything in the world," I replied.
"Y/N, I mean it," he kissed my lips. "I want all of you, not just your body."
"Show me," I whispered.
All our pretense and doubt went out and the world melted away into nothing. Everything was raw and intense, every breath fast and both our hearts were finally becoming into one. This was only our second time being this intimate, and maybe I was delusional, but this one felt better than the first. Maybe because I had feelings for San this time. Everything happened as quickly as it started.
"I won't let you down," San murmured, hugging me and giving me a tender kiss on my forehead once everything was said and done. "My feelings for you are deep."
"As mine are," I tilted my head to meet his lips. "Just don't break through my window again."
San laughed loudly. "I won't," he turned to the window he fixed up quite well. "On one condition."
"The audacity," I playfully rolled my eyes. "What is it?"
"Be my girlfriend?"
I frowned. "I thought that was a given?"
"Oh," he shrugged. "I wanted to ask anyway. Is that a yes?"
I nodded and was about to say something witty to him, when my phone rang loudly in the background. Without thinking nor looking at the screen, I answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Oh, Y/N, it's about time you answered," my dad's irritated voice sounded from the phone.
I yelped in surprise and stared at a curious San. "Ah, D-Dad, can I c-call you back in a minute or two?"
I hung up before my dad could even say no. I hit my forehead frustratedly with my fist while mentally how dumb I was.
"Doll? Is everything okay?" San asked, worried. "Why'd you hang up? This wouldn't be the first time either."
I peered at him cautiously. "You noticed, huh?"
"Is it related to why you don't want to go back to London?"
"Yes," I sighed. "I'll explain later, let's get dressed first."
I dressed hurriedly because knowing my father, he would call back if I was even a second or two late from the promised time. If San and I were going to be together, he needs to know why I'm here. It's just a shame that he had to find out this way.
"It's okay, doll, I'm here if anything," San assured while the phone rang. "Oh, he picked up."
I panicked a bit and positioned the front camera to my face and out of San's. "Dad!"
“I'm disappointed that my only daughter doesn't want to talk to me," my dad's face held a little sadness, but nothing crazy. "Mingi and mom say hi."
"Who's Mingi?" San hissed. He winced a bit when I kicked him on the leg.
"I'm sure my brother," I glared pointedly at San. "And mum is fine."
My dad rolled his eyes dramatically. I guess that's where I got
my bratty attitude from. "They'd be better if you came back home," he sighed dejectedly. "Next time you don't answer your phone, I'm cutting off your allowance."
"Dad..."
"I'm serious, Y/N, I'm getting old," he began to say, and I got nervous because I knew what he was about to say next. "If you could just give my friend's son a chance, you might make a connection with him."
San's gaze went from curious to immediately pissed. He gave me a flat look of annoyance. "Don't say a word," I mouthed silently at him.
"Dad, you know I want to be with someone I truly liked," I sighed exhaustedly. "And I want the relationship to be natural, not because we were matchmarked with one another."
"I didn't tell you to marry him on the spot, sweetie," he said with a frown. "I'm not going to force you, but all I ask is an initial meet up and see where it goes from there."
When I didn't answer, my dad continued his tirade. "And what do you do, you rebellious child? You run away when you know we can't reach you!"
I glanced at San with a tight smile and a mutual understanding passed between us. Now that the truth was out, San looked weary and I got extremely nervous.
"I've met him plenty of times, he's a great guy, Y/N. Very polite, intelligent, and easy on the eyes too."
"I'm sure he is, dad," I chuckled nervously when San glared hard at the phone. He glared at it so hard I'm surprised laser beams haven't shot out from his eyes yet.
"If only you gave him a chance," my dad hummed thoughtfully. "He's a bit older than you are, but I'm sure you'll be in good hands."
"You know I'm not into older men," I mumbled under my breath. San had the gall to look extremely offended.
I muted myself really quickly and lifted my phone up so my dad couldn't see my annoyed face. "I'm just making excuses, don't give that look," I hissed at San. He just rolled his eyes like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
"He's not that old," another voice said from the background who wasn't my father. He must be out with his friends somewhere.
San raised a tentative brow and slowly sat up, but I ignored him. He can stew for all I care. It's cute that he's jealous but this wasn't the right time, my dad might ask me to separate with San and I wasn't ready to get heartbroken yet, especially since we just made up.
"Ah, that's my friend, Cheol," my dad said. "Actually, it's his son that we were hoping to pair you up with---"
"Give me that shit, I can't take this anymore," San hissed and roughly grabbed the phone from my hands. I was about to protest loudly but when he gave me that especially terrifying glare of his, I sat back down.
"Please don't say anything stupid," I pleaded.
He raised a brow and rolled his eyes. He's really pissed, oh my. He cleared his throat and positioned the front camera properly towards his face. My dad must be so confused right now.
"Sir," San started with the most polite, but firm voice I've ever heard him speak. Spoken like a true business. "I'm your daughter's boyfriend and with all due respect, I really like---dad?"
I was so startled at San's voice but apparently so was he. It was like he saw a ghost with how pale and how wide his eyes have become.
"San? San! Is that you?! Give me that real quick, Hyun Sok..."
I swiftly sat beside San so we were both in the camera. I was so surprised I couldn't even say a word. We heard quick shuffles from the other line and another man that looked just like San, but older, also had this shocked expression.
"That was your dad?" San looked at me.
"That was your dad?" I shot back.
"What are you doing in London, dad?" San managed to say despite the shock.
"Never mind me, son, what are you doing there?" his dad queried. I saw my dad shuffle in the camera and if it wasn't for the situation, I would have laughed at how priceless his shocked expression was.
"I knew that voice sounded familiar," San grumbled.
"Well, since it came to this," San sighed. He held my hand and brought it up to the camera for both our fathers to see. "Dad, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Doll, this is my father, Choi Jongcheol."
"Y/N? Is this true?" my dad inquired. I nodded in confirmation, afraid of his reaction, but instead me and San had the surprise of the lifetime when they started laughing loudly and chaotically.
"I gotta hand it to your son, Cheol, he sure gets the gold, know what I'm saying?"
"I taught him no less than that! Shit Sok, this was even better than we were hoping for!”
"Didn't even need to set them up for a dinner date, my God."
"Definitely went straight to dessert."
"Aye!"
"Okay," I spoke slowly and awkwardly. "Dad, what's going on?"
"Your boyfriend," he chuckled. "That's who I wanted you to meet a couple of years back!"
I was surprised, and so was San, with the new information. Now that I think about it, everything fit. The timeline of when San moved here, especially, and one time he did mention his father trying to set him up with someone but he also denied the offer.
"I thought you didn't want someone older?" my dad raised a brow mischievously.
"Some things change," I shrugged, trying hard to hide my blushing cheeks.
"How did you two meet?" Jongcheol asked curiously.
"You don't wanna know," San chuckled nervously. I blushed harder when he kissed my cheek in front of both our dads and both of them had this shit-eating grin on their faces.
"Well, we don't want to hold you guys," my dad said awkwardly and not making eye contact. I was confused until he said, "Your hair is messy, and San's shirt is on backwards."
I groaned in embarrassment and covered my face as I ducked away from the screen in order to save face. San chuckled softly at my demise.
"Well, be careful you two," San's dad teased and I heard my dad laughing in the background. "Use protection, Choi San, but not too much. We don't mind grandkids soon---"
"Dad! Ugh, so embarrassing!" San screamed and hung up.
He tossed the phone away somewhere on the bed as if it was the plague, itself. We both burst out laughing at the irony of the situation for ten minutes straight.
"Had I known it was you," I chuckled as I laid my head on his shoulder. "I'd have agreed immediately."
"We both didn't know, it's okay," San hummed. "We both ended up together anyway, didn't we?"
"True. The irony of it all, I can't believe this," I smiled. "Still, we could have met sooner."
"Sooner than that," he sighed. "Your brother has been trying to invite me to your house back then too. I just always said no because we were both busy trying to start the company."
I was startled. "You know my brother?"
I hadn't seen my brother, Mingi, for a while now. He was the reason why I was successful in moving here, though I never told him why. And my parents never told him either because I knew they didn't want to stress him out for his---
The realization hit me. Mingi was also ten years older than me, I was a happy accident, you see, and he was also trying to start a company with his friends here!
"Yes," San confirmed. "He's one of my best friends, didn't you see the photo by the doorway?"
I knew the photo he was referring to. It was the one that hung in his room, one of the very few decorations he had, that I was looking at where I thought it was his family at first and he said they were lifelong friends.
"I-I don't remember what it looked like," I admitted. San whipped out his phone and showed me the picture and my jaw hung open when I saw Mingi at the very top corner of the photo. "I've never seen Mingi with pink hair before, how was I supposed to know?!"
Needless to say, I was definitely going to call Mingi later. San laughed out loud at my expression and once again, we were laughing together.
"This fate thing is crazy," I giggled. "Do you regret anything?"
"Never," San shook his head. "I say we celebrate this new found information."
"And how do you propose we do that, Mr. Choi?" I teased.
I screamed when San got on top of me and he hovered over me with a playful smirk on his beautiful face. "I can think of a few ways," he pecked my lips. "What do you say?"
I giggled uncontrollably and nodded. We might not have started on the right track and some people might think I'm dumb for giving the man who forced me to his will a chance, but something tells me we're going to be fine.
By all means, San isn’t perfect and neither am I, but sometimes we need people who aren’t perfect to help us achieve what’s good for us, not what is right.
#ateez#ateez smut#kpop smut#san smut#san x reader#choi san#ateez hard hours#ateez au#ateez fic#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez angst#ateez imagines
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The 'Birth' of Dream was probably one of the most chaotic things to happen to the universe up to that point. You had Destiny and Death... You were born, you lived, you died. Nice and orderly, no objections raised. Then mummy brings home the new baby brother and suddenly there's dreams of escaping your fate, delusions of immortality. He essentially introduced anarchy into the cosmos. Destiny branded him a troublesome little fucker right then and there... And has yet to change said opinion.
Anyone got any fun Sandman headcanons?
#dream of the endless#chaos incarnate#Messing up his brother's meticulously ordered non fiction collection with his fantasy novels.#Then along comes desire#Troublesome little fucker 2.0#Actually Dream may have been what's slowly changed people's opions of dying#That's deep 😶#The sandman
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Once again got a bee in my bonnet to spend a night doing obscure fandom research to make a point, so. For all those people who keep making the annoying, "Tim keeps '''stealing'' other peoples' names" comments -- have a table.
EDIT: Updated version with some mistakes corrected.
Everyone with a check mark has used that codename at some point in DC's 80+ year continuity -- Elseworlds and alternate dimensions/timelines count, adaptations (movies, video games, cartoons, etc.) don't unless they've got comic book tie-ins, and neither do in-universe dream sequences/illusions/fantasies/other narrative elements that are objectively "not real" within the boundaries of the fiction.
A purple marker indicates an element that only applies in Elseworlds or alternate timelines. Yellow is for the originator of the legacy title. Star symbol is for borderline cases/extenuating circumstances/it's open to interpretation (with some further elaboration below).
The "other" column is just there to account for people who've held lesser or non-legacy titles, like Renegade, Wingman, Arkham Knight, Drake, Redbird, Talon, Deadman, Black Bat, Orphan and Catwoman.
Point being: the people who have actually gone through the most legacy titles in this family are Dick, Babs and Jason, tied with 5 each (again, not counting "other;" if we counted those separately Dick would've had by far the most). Tim is tied with Steph AND Helena Wayne, so unless you're whining about them "stealing other peoples' names" you're just wrong, and they're all only one higher than Damian, Carrie and Bruce.
This is a legacy family that passes their codenames up and down the inheritance line. It's what they do. It's not a legitimate criticism to level at one character and not the others. Please get over it.
---
Further elaboration on some of the lesser known/niche cases:
- Bruce uses the Robin ID in Superman & Batman: Generations, as well as the pre-Crisis Detective Comics #226 story.
- In the second half of Thrillkiller ‘62, Babs cuts her hair and dons the Robin costume worn by her deceased partner Dick to get revenge on his killer; however the only name ever used for her in the series is Batgirl
- Cassandra was a member of the Robins orphan gang from Dark Knights of Steel.
- Duke was a member of the We Are Robins gang, as well as the aforementioned DKS orphan gang, and has appeared as Robin in a couple of Elseworlds, including I believe a White Knight spin-off.
- Cass was Batwoman in one of the versions of the Titans Tomorrow, as was Bette Kane, depending on changes to the timeline.
- Babs is Batwoman in the Batman ‘66 comics and in the 1980 story “The Secret Origin of Bruce (Superman) Wayne”
- Earth-3 Steph is Batwoman in Young Justice 2019.
- Helena Wayne is Batwoman in the possible future story Last Rites
- Tim is a member of the Batgirls vigilante/little league baseball team in the DC Bombshells universe, as is Cullen Row. Some call them the “Batboys” instead. I call those people cowards.
- Helena Bertinelli wore the costume that would later become Cass’s signature Batgirl look during No Man’s Land. However, she was more often referred to as “The Bat” and her Batgirl status is up to individual interpretation.
- Dick didn’t originate the Nightwing name, it started with Clark in the Silver Age.
- Steph has never been Nightwing. The panel where she appears in the costume is a Black Mercy illusion that happens only in her own mind. It’s a dream sequence.
- Barbara was Nightwing in the Smallville Season 11 comics.
- Terry was briefly Nightwing in volume 4 of Batman Beyond.
- Damian briefly became Nightwing after accidentally killing Dick in the Injustice series.
- Dick is Oracle in the “Eight Wonders of the World” version of Earth 2 (aka the Black Superman dimension)
#batman#batfam#robin#batgirl#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#duke thomas#batfamily#helena wayne#helena bertinelli#terry mcginnis#carrie kelley#kate kane#bette kane#nightwing#flamebird#batwoman#dc comics#meta#oracle#signal dc#spoiler dc
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I had a long discussion with friends earlier about the gender bias in how YA books are marketed and it somehow evolved into me saying "We need more fiction that questions the concept of attraction itself"
We got into how easily romance can be latched onto other genres (romantic comedy, romantic drama, fantasy romance, historical romance, etc.) and I started asking myself what an arocom (aromantic comedy) would look like. I decided, based on an old Tumblr post I can't find that joked about some comedy movie being aro representation b/c it had no romance, that it can't just be "a comedy with no romance at all", because then that's just a regular old comedy. By that logic, SpongeBob would be an arocom, which doesn't make sense b/c it largely focuses on non-romantic plots (SpongeBob working at his job, failing to get his license, the general shenanigans he and his friends get into) and only addresses romance sparingly, depending on the plot of an episode.
It sucks to admit but at least from my perspective, in order for a piece of media to qualify as "aromantic/asexual media" in the heavily sex- and romance-catered media landscape, it kinda needs to address sex and romance in the first place. As wonderful as it would be to escape for a few hours to a book or show or game where romance isn't addressed at all and think of that as aro rep, you can't really call attention to a character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction without acknowledging, even indirectly, that those exact things exist within the text.
I'm not saying sex and romance are inherently bad either. There are aces who engage in sexual activities, aros who date, folks on both spectrums who engage in kink because kink is not inherently sexual and just approach relationships in so many incredibly nuanced ways. It's not just about aspecs also having parents and siblings and pets either, we have friends and coworkers and neighbors. We have interests and skills and hobbies. But it's not just the cishets who place sex and romance on such a high pedestal as "fundamental aspects of what makes people human", I see it within the LGBT community too. There are more than a few openly queer folks out there who don't know or have forgotten that because asexuality and aromanticism are a lack or absence of attraction (and thus a lack/absence of conformist heterosexuality), that we are, to varying degrees, queer as well. And thus media with aroace subtext (or just text for that matter) tends to get excluded from discussions of queer subtext.
I feel like I got a little off-topic and rambly but Idk I just think we need more aspec fiction where people are free to explore all spectrums of attraction as much as they want, ask questions about what defines a relationship, and just generally bear in mind relationship anarchy when they create. I'd like to see it in mainstream media but I'd also like to see it in fanfic too
(Btw everything I just said also extends to people who are poly)
#relationship anarchy#aromantic#asexual#aromantic asexual#aroace#aspec#arospec#demisexual#demiromantic#gray asexual#gray aromantic#fictosexual#fictoromantic#queerplatonic#quasiplatonic#polyamory#polyam#polycule
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