𝒵𝑜𝑜 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒! Ft. Monster trio + Law
a/n: i’m new to posting so no judging pwety pwease. also i wrote this super late at night 🙏
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18+!! MINORS DNI
masterlist
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cw: mentions of short reader, all of the guys except law-ish sound like they’re on crack, lots of wrestling, cheesy asf, is this what u do at a zoo?!
tags ✮⋆˙
fluff but mostly humorous, literal chaos, a bit ooc(?), tried to make it gender inclusive, found this prompt through pinterest lol
zoro
when you brought up the idea of going to the zoo, warned him beforehand about the “look but don’t touch” rule
you didn’t want him to see the zoo as a training arena
first suggested that yall go to the beach instead but u declined it saying, “it was too cliche”
he would never admit it but he’s silently insecure whenever he sees you get along well with the animals (whenever he smiles at them, they run away)
a small smile creeps up at the corner of his lips as he watches you gawk at the aquatic animals section
you call the seals, “sea puppies.” he just calls them “water dogs”
purposefully makes eye contact with gorillas to rile them up (he tried to ask the zookeeper to let him inside the enclosure so he can fight them to which you slap him in the back of the head for)
gorillas see eye contact as a challenge to fight
there was an event that happened where the penguins would dive and twirl underwater to impress you
zoro threatened them by claiming that he’ll ask sanji to turn them into “penguin kabobs” if they didn’t stop flirting with his gf (they got scared and ran back to their zookeeper)
attempted to smile at the otters but got scared and swam away
got lost one time and accidentally landed in the chimpanzee enclosure. you couldn’t help but laugh as the keeper got mad at him for beating up the chimpanzees bc they “gave him the stink eye”
the crew made fun of him after coming back from the zoo with a bald patch at the back of his head.
a giraffe thought his hair was grass and you had to pull him away just so he wouldn’t be tempted to use his swords on them
got both of you guys got kicked out after he tried impressing you by using three sword style on a polar bear
luffy
like zoro, u also warned him about the “look don’t touch” rule
like a kid on sugar, luffy got excited as he became enamored with the (in his own words), “big buff animals”
kept asking you which of these animals would make a delicious meal
would point at the monkeys and go, “look, it’s me!”
for the love of god, the rubber boy would not stop cracking up at the baboons and calling them “apple butts”
randomly asked you if you would find him more attractive if he was an actual monkey
he genuinely believed you when you joked about rhinos being “dinosaurs”
“NO WAY!! I THOUGHT THEY WERE EXTINCT!”
“i was jok-“
“WAIT TILL I TELL ROBIN ABOUT THIS! SHE'S GONNA BE SO JEALOUS WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THAT I DISCOVERED DINOSAURS BEFORE HER!”
he kept stretching his face and making monkey noises at the monkeys
(they looked at him with disinterest)
he thought it would be a good idea to wrestle a bear. you got mad at him after he knocked it out with his “gum-gum pistol”
he cried at the sight of the otters because he said that it reminded him of alabasta and that alabasta reminds him of vivi
he asked the giraffes if they were related to kaku and then panicked bc he “thought he was racist” for asking that
“[name], does this mean I'm not woke :(“
you got mad at him after he decided it would be a good idea to put his head inside the mouth of a hippo. the zookeeper almost fainted as the hippo bit down on his head but you assured them that his devil fruit powers would prevent him from dying that easily
you honestly contemplated your relationship with your captain/boyfriend but his stupidity is what makes him charming (to you at least)
he kept asking the zookeepers if he can keep the boa constrictor as a pet
along with wanting a snake as a pet, he kept asking the lions if they could join his crew
got emotional at the sight of leopards bc they reminded him of pedro
like zoro, he got both of yall kicked out after he tried smuggling a lion out of the cage and named it “sun destroyer 4000”
you were more surprised at the fact that you guys didn’t get kicked out earlier
sanji
“[name], my dear, how would you feel if i took you out on a date to a place of your choice?”
“well there is one place i’ve been wanting to go to for awhile.”
maybe going to the zoo with sanji was a mistake, the flirty blonde boy would not stop comparing you to every “cute” animal he saw
for long hair: it didn’t help that he purposefully braided your hair and tied them up to look like bear ears which you look even cuter in his eyes (my headcanon is that sanji knows how to braid hair hehe)
he found it cute that you saw a bunch of reindeers and called them “a family of choppers”
if there was a big crowd of people surrounding an exhibit and you couldn’t see, he would use his height to his advantage by lifting you up to get a good view of the animals
after getting down you were wondering why his nose was bleeding until you realized he had a good view under your skirt
if you’re wearing pants, he just nose bled at the sight of your gyat
you joked with him saying that you would find it hot if he wrestled an ostrich. but sanji being sanji, took it literal and actually did it
the zookeeper yelled at him after the ostrich was left unconscious
flirtatiously asked if you would still find him attractive even if he was an animal
“no, sanji, that would be beastiality.”
felt his whole face heat up after you put on matching ear headbands with him
in response, he tried to buy out the whole gift shop
tried to convince you into buying “i’m his, im hers” shirts but you told him it was cringe which hurt his ego
for gn! readers, bro tried to buy those “im cool, im cooler shirts” cause he a lil cheesy
when you became enamored with the snake exhibit he tried to flex saying, “you wouldn’t have to worry about a snake swallowing you bc i would be there to protect you, my dear”
you compared him to a ram bc you saw him as courageous and determined for his crew
“[NAME] SWANNN, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT OUT OF THE BLUE!” there goes your man…
almost nose bled AGAIN at the thought of you as a red panda while visiting the exhibit (you thought he was tweakin)
got jealous when you said tigers were just as cool as zoro
he compared zoro to a baboon bc he’s always scratching his ass and sniffing his hand after (wait why is this lowk a good headcanon 😝)
you found it adorable as you watched him feed the animals in the petting zoo as if he were their father
he freaked out as the goat stole the cigarette out of his mouth and ate it in front of him.
one of your fave moments of intimacy with sanji would be sharing cotton candy with him as you watched the penguins do tricks in the water
after getting back on the sunny, you decided to surprise him with a ram plushie you bought behind his back
he thanked you by peppering your face in kisses and showering you in praises
“oh my dear, [name]. you don’t need to spoil me like that! it should be the other way around!”
bonus!! trafalgar law
law asked his crew beforehand on “great date spots” to take you out on; to which penguin suggested yall go to the zoo
he never cared for the zoo but as long as you were happy he didn’t mind
got flustered after you mentioned that snow leopards reminded you of him
he bought you a snow leopard plush and you named it “traffy”
you asked him if you should buy souvenirs for the crew
you asked him if you could adopt a polar bear so that bepo would have a friend. he replied with, “no bc he’s already friends with me”
thought it would be funny to teleport you to the lion enclosure until his powers conveniently started tweaking and he couldn’t teleport you back out
you punched him in the head after you came back with scratches from wrestling them
he felt bad for the joke he did on u, so he teleported you to the capybara enclosure as an apology
compared you to a meerkat bc “you’re short but really fast on those legs.” you responded by threatening to give his sword away to zoro
made fun of you after you got startled by him in the insect section. he laughed as you slapped his hand after he pretended it was a tarantula
he likes to install fear into u by explaining different ways each animal can kill you
he would purposefullykiss you in front of the monkeys after they tried flirting with you
the zookeeper had to tell him to stop bc they were afraid that they would break out their enclosure
what pissed him off even more was the fact it reminded him of the rubber boy
after you guys get back to the submarine, the crew crowded you as you gave them their souvenirs. law couldn’t help but smile at your generosity and friendship with everyone
oh yea….he felt himself fall in-love with you again
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
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